#half convinced the premise of the show is ‘how many daughters can we give one bitter old soul’ and the answer is yes

[extreme-technicality]

I’m so sad the second season is paywalled >:/ crunchyroll and I are about to throw down

Idk why I keep being surprised at how much I like rising of the shield hero

[starshipsofstarlord]

Sebastian convincing you to have another baby...

Pairing | Sebastian Stan x reader

Summary | Seb wants another baby, but he still has to convince you into wanting the same thing.

Warnings | smut, breeding kink, fluff, oral sex (fem receiving), unprotected sex, mentions of birth control, creampie, swearing, cockwarming

Requested ✖️

Y/e/d/n = Your eldest daughter’s name

Y/d/n = your daughters name

Y/s/n = your son’s name

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

The idea of pregnancy gave you many things to think about, the gruelling and simultaneously tiresome journey had been one hell of a rollercoaster. The countless times (approximately two) that you had endured the swelling of your feet, and the divine hunger for the strangest combinations of food, had left you with three beautiful children.

First you had birthed a little girl, that sparked a new light behind your husband’s eyes, and reinvented his world. She was the princess he adored, and the one that you loved to watch Disney movies with, even if she insisted on Frozen every singular time.

And then, after her, you had a pair of perfect twins. They brought sound and restlessness to the household, after your daughter demanding that she wanted a sibling. Deep down, you had wanted more at the time too, but now, you felt as though your life goal was fulfilled.

Your family was everything that you had ever wanted, it felt as though you had been taken off an idealistic screen and transferred into reality. And if that had happened, you wouldn’t be one to complain, for all your greatest wishes had come true.

But if you were to ask your husband, he would make it very clear that he wanted more little devils running around the house. There was a joke that Evans and Mackie had with you every time that they saw you on set, clothed in a tight catsuit to fit your role. They would act amazed at the appearance of you not bearing one of Sebastian’s gorgeous children, their false shock earning laughs from your various co stars.

It wasn’t the fact that you weren’t open to the idea of another child to grow within your womb, however, it was more out of fear. You were well aware that you had been blessed with the birth of your lovely twins, though you were scared that you would endure the premise of double labour again, and it wasn’t exactly the kind of pain that you were willing to experience for a second time.

Being practically split in half once was bad enough, but twice, one instance straight after the other was bound to be the worst torture that a mother could be provided with. As you stirred your evening cuppa, watching as your kids were all huddled playing a board game after their dinner, two arms found placement around your waist, lightly tugging you back into a strong chest.

“Look at our babies.” Your husband mumbled into the crown at the back of your head, his fingertips rolling circles beneath your shirt. “Aren’t they the sweetest?” He asked, pressing a delicate kiss upon the back of your neck. The feeling of his stubble making your body shake wantonly, but you withheld from making sounds, not wanting to draw the attention of your children.

“When they’re quiet.” You agreed, watching as your eldest helped the twins with beating her. “They’re the most important people in my life, and then, it’s my annoying husband, who cannot stop trying to get in my pants for five minutes.”

“That’s called love; your husband loves you.” Sebastian stated, nibbling on your ear lobe as you ushered a sound of approval, clutching onto his hand that was firmly planted on your side, as his tongue traced the shell of your ear. “And I’m sure he’d love to show you how much, if you stop being mean to him.”

“Mean?” You laughed, taking a sip of your drink before spinning in his arms, allowing him to push you flush against the counter. “I can show him mean.” Biting your lip, you traced the seam of his sweats, that appeared to be all that he was currently wearing, brushing your hands up and against his well attended to torso. “But later.”

Seb groaned, leaning his head back, as he moved closer to you, pushing his thigh between your legs, glancing over your shoulder at the kids. “We could put them to bed right now, and then go to our room, then, you can show me how much of a horrible wife you are.”

“As much as I love that idea bubs, the twins need to be bathed, and you have to help your daughter with her math homework.” Leaning forwards, you pressed a kiss on his bicep, moving out from the entrapment of his arms, and lightly patting his ass.

“You know I was joking about you being mean, but now I’m seeing some truth behind my earlier words.” Sebastian plodded away, and towards the open living space, plopping down on the sofa, as he watched his offspring on the floor, smiling at their kindness to one another, though he was sure that tomorrow would be another story.

With one last look, you headed upstairs, going to the main bathroom, and began to slowly the run the tap. During the time you allowed it to run, you grabbed some pyjamas for your babies, as well as a couple of towels and flannels. By the time you had returned to the bathroom, and put everything down ready, the tub was half filled. And so you stopped the stream, putting in a tad of cold water before descending down the stairs.

“Honey, help y/e/d/n with her school work, I’m gonna get these two trouble makers ready for bed.” Your husband nodded as he pursed his lips, trying to ignore how you leant down to pick the twins up, pretending as through the top of your breast had not been caught by his eyes.

And with that, you got the kids cleaned and ready for the following day, meeting Seb at the doorway of y/d/n’s and y/s/n’s room, giving them each a kiss on the forehead before tucking them in for bed.

As you were walking towards your own room, Sebastian lifted you from behind, carrying you the rest of the way. “You can’t keep it in your pants, can you Mr Stan?” You laughed as he dropped you upon your double bed, him instantly kneeling at the end of it to peel your shirt off.

He trailed kisses along your legs, humming from the much desired contact, as his blue eyes flickered up at you. “That’s your fault, you deprive me.” He muttered against your skin, reaching his fingertips up higher to grasp at the sides of your underwear, pulling the material down.

Your husband blew hot air upon your pussy, grinning to himself as it instinctively clenched around nothing. As he moved closer, he breathed in your scent, rubbing the tip of his nose along your clit, before diving in to feast, sneaking his tongue through your slit, instantly prodding at your entrance, causing your head to wind back, and your hand grasp his hair.

“We should have another.” He mumbled against you, and you were almost too delirious to complain, although a light groan emitted from you, as you fought with yourself whether to let him continue eating you out and not respond, or do the responsible, adult thing, and speak about it.

With much resilience, you pulled his head away, licking your lips at his slick stained chin away, tugging him to be laid beside you. “Is that really want you want Seb?” You asked, biting your lip, wanting to hear his thoughts in hopes that it would relax you for the possibility of you bearing more of his children.

“Of course it is draga.” He answered, his icy pools making your own freeze, he cupped your chin, bringing your lips to his own, placing a few pecks upon your lips, before continuing. “I know that you’re nervous, but I will look after you every step of the way, like I have done both times before. Anyways, I feel like directors take a kick out of challenging themselves with making their actresses appear not pregnant, look at both you and Scar through the years.”

You nodded, understanding that your career wouldn’t take the brunt of things. “I want another but... I’m scared. Just, what if I have two again?” You rambled with your hands, and he clasped them between his own, pausing your panicked hand signals, and rubbing his nose against each set of your knuckles.

“The chances of that aren’t very high my love. But if it happens, then maybe this time you’ll let us call them Wanda and Pietro...” his words earned him a light eye roll and a tender hit on his shoulder, as he rolled on top of you, causing you to squeal. “Remember, don’t wake the kids.”

“Kinda hard when I can feel how hard you are.” You retorted, moaning as he began to suck at the spot on your neck that made your knees shake, his hands drifting beneath your shirt, as he began to raise the material up your torso, and over your breasts. You whipped the material over your head, discarding it as his attention turned to your boobs. “I’ll never get tired of these.”

He hummed, before leaning down, taking a rosey pebble to be captured within his mouth, sucking on it as his fingers fiddled with the other. “Seb, I just need you in me.” You prodded his hips with the heels of your feet, pleased when he leaned back, pulling down his sweats, so that his erection bobbed upwards, the head already leaking precum.

“You want a baby that bad?” He asked in a brisk voice, clambering back onto your awaiting body once again, grasping his base with his heavy hand, dragging his tip to circle around your clit. “Want me to fill you up, so that you grow nice and full with my baby.”

A furrow made its way onto your brow, as you held onto his biceps, lightly rolling your hips up against his leaking head. “Honey.” He paused his movements, staring carefully down at you, reading your expression. “I’m still on birth control.” You informed him, watching as his eyelashes fluttered, and he pressed down unto you again.

“A little practise never hurt gorgeous.” Sebastian spoke, slipping his cock into your entrance, sinking into you as you moaned out his name. “Fuck, so tight, even after three kids.” He groaned, putting his hands either side of your head, as he began to thrust in and out of your pussy, breathing heavily through his nose.

“So big.” Your hands grasped at his naked back, casting down to grasp his ass, causing him to suddenly buck deeper into you, emitting another series of moans out of you. “Love your cock.”

“Yeah?” The romanian smugly asked, his lips drifting up the tip of your nose, before running them back down to your own, biting onto your upper lip, as one hand continued to brace his weight above, and the other moved down to fondle with your clit, causing you to tighten around him, your eyelids blinking repeatedly. “You love my fat cock inside of you, about to pump you full of my cum?”

“Yes Seb, love it.” Your eyes screwed shut, tears slipping out the corner of your eyes, as he made his administrations harder, hitting his hips languidly against your own. “Love it so so so mu- ah - ch.”

“Cum angel. Coat my cock, pretty girl.” You complied, reaching your high, as your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer as your essence pooled around him. “Want me to make you round with my babe, want me to make you full of my cum?”

“I do, I do, I do.” You squealed, your breath hitching as he stilled for a minute, filling you with seed. “Fuck.” You breathed, your chest rising and falling, as he remained in your for a moment, before pulling out, but you stopped him, clasping his back with your sweaty hands. “Stay.”

“Okay.” Seb said tiredly, his skin flushed as he rolled over, so that you were laid on his chest, your head falling to below his chin. “So beautiful, you know that?”

“Mmh.” You hummed, drawing circles upon his skin. “I’ll come off my birth control tomorrow, then, we don’t have to just practice.” He leant down to press a long kiss upon your lips, sneaking his tongue through their natural seam, gently sucking on your own.

“That sounds more than good to me darling.” He stroked down your back with his talented fingers, pulling you closer again. You felt his dick twitch within you as he felt both of your mixed juices trailed down his balls, that huffed from the sensation.

[greensaplinggrace]

do you have any darklina fic recs?

I certainly have a few! But first I want to clarify that I don’t really read fic when I’m writing it, and since I have so many fics in the works right now, I haven’t really been reading a lot of fanfiction. So this list probably won’t be as extensive as it could be.

Here are some other great fic recommendation posts, however:

DARKLINA FIC RECS by @vicioux

DARKLINA FIC RECS // part ii by @vicioux

Darklina Ruling the World Together Fic Recs by @clubofthestarlesssaint

Tumblr Ficlets

Aleksander’s First Memory by @kestrafagnor

Fivan Talk About Darklina by @jomiddlemarch

a little light in the great, big dark by @valkyrhys

Alina tells Mal she’s with Aleksander by @lorsanbitch

Darklina week day 5: intimacy & touch by @starlesscne

AO3 Fanfiction

if it ain’t me by larry_hystereks (Incomplete - 10/13 Chapters)

alina’s in her second year at Yale when she meets aleksander at one of his frat parties.

a hookup with the potential for more, only if alina wasn’t still struggling to piece herself together from last year’s breakup.

or: alina, zoya, their trust issues, and the men that fall for them

---

I’m only at about chapter 6 of this fic currently, but so far it’s one of my all time favorite Modern AUs. The characterization for Alina and Aleksander is incredibly well done, and the entire fic itself is so feminist and queer in such a refreshing way. Aleksander and Alina are bisexual as fuck, both with their own separate complex lives, and much of Alina’s own traumas and relationships are explored outside of Aleksander.

There’s some Zoyalina, with Nikolina friendship and endgame Zoyalai. There’s some mystery and some tension, but nothing too extreme, and a lot of the fic is merely an exploration in growth and overcoming one’s history and learning how to move on in healthy ways. I love it.

She Wears a Collar (With My Name) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

She is immortal, and whatever lingering hints of humanity she may have once had have long been bleached from her heart.

I will grant you one wish, boy, if it is in my power to do so. What does a Shadow Smith most want?

"You," he answers.

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 2: Role Reversal

---

This piece is just exquisite. This author’s writing style is one that I particularly enjoy. Their stuff is always so uniquely composed and crafted, and this one especially is a work of art. The way Darklina as a relationship is portrayed in particular is fascinating to me because it’s a role reversal but it’s still so complex. Aleksander’s character is nailed.

the bright sun was extinguish’d by athousandwinds (Complete)

Somewhere, deep in the dark forests of Ravka, a boy grows up on stories of Sankta Alina of the Wastes, the Sun-Scorched Saint.

---

This fic is just straight up magnificent. It’s so engaging and I love love love the way a role reversed Aleksander who joins the army is portrayed. He reminds me so much of Demon in the Woods Aleksander, as if he’s exactly what a grown version of that young boy would be. When I say I adore his characterization in this I’m not lying.

If I wanted any completed fic I’ve read to have a second chapter, it would be this one.

Winter in the Little Palace by redisxwing (Complete)

Written for Yuletide 2020.

Baghra and Alina's wildly different perspectives on the Darkling, and how things could have gone if nobody listened to Baghra.

Warning: Baghra is written as a harsh and arguably abusive parent, and this is darkfic about that relationship, with a side of shipping. Everything is terrible (except the parts that are pretty much okay).

Canon divergence pretty much as soon as Alina gets lessons in summoning.

This fic is likely not compatible with King of Scars (or any subsequent work).

---

As is said in the summary, this one makes Baghra a bit more extreme. If you’re a fan of Baghra, this fic probably isn’t for you. But since I’m not a fan of Baghra, I had no problems with it.

My biggest praise for this fic is in regards to the character interactions and the POVs. There’s a brilliant grasp of unique perspective and how to convey it, and that talent is carried over into the way character interactions are brought to life in the text. Also, there’s a scene where Alina gets kind of protective of the Darkling, which is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to Darklina.

Good Ideas by FelixRivers (Complete)

Alina Starkov had a very good idea. Aleksander Morozova would definitely agree. (or: Alina wants to go camping and Aleksander won't complain)

---

This fic is just straight up adorable and hilarious. They’re such a cute couple and Alina’s POV is great. It’s just pure fluff and humor 💕

I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you by SanktaJenya - @sankta-arya (Complete)

Winter had been hard on Old Baghra and Ana Kuya was worried about her, so she decided that Alina should make the trip to her cottage on the other side of the woods to bring her some food and kvas. On her way there, Alina meets a stranger...

Darklina Red Riding Hood/Company of Wolves AU

Darklina Week, Day 4, Fairytales

---

This fic has a splendid grasp of tension and atmosphere. It’s very enchanting and dark and intriguing, and it nails those aspects with absolute precision. I love the style and the way the fairytale is incorporated into the narrative. It’s truly a masterpiece.

The Wretched by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“We are strangers, but I want to help.” He growls at her, mocking and mistrustful. “I understand,” she said. “You think I am one of them. I certainly look like one of them. But I want to help you. Will you let me?” Prompt: fairytale. Alina saves a dragon.

---

Okay so I’ve mentioned this one before as one of my Top 5 fics of all time and I still stand by that. I can’t even describe why I love this fic so much except that the pacing is amazing and the prose is stunning and the story is beautiful. Aleksander is a dragon and Alina is a witch, and their relationship is just so...interesting and fascinating and lovely. I would literally kill for this fic. There’s such a softness to it as well. Such a tenderness. Idk, I just really love it.

Show Me Who You Are (I Want To Know) by Ceris_Malfoy (Incomplete - 12/?)

Alina takes her future in her own hands and makes her own decisions.

---

This is a great “what if Alina had stuck around after the reveal” rewrite. It doesn’t have Mal bashing and in fact still writes them as close friends, which is something I’m fond of in Darklina fics. Aleksander is allowed to be soft and Alina is allowed to be powerful, and I really enjoyed the take on their dynamics as a power couple wherein Alina is given a lot of control.

There’s something to be said for the way Aleksander is written in the scenes where he must be honest and earnest with Alina. I really enjoy the way they both come to equal ground, and I’m even more fond of the way Alina is allowed to grow darker without losing her light. She also engages a lot with quite a few other characters, developing tons of friendships and alliances on her own that help strengthen her as an individual character.

on this bridge between starshine and clay by @rhea-imagined (Complete)

"His breath narrows for a moment, his fist clenched tight before he forces himself to loosen it. She is his only opportunity for salvation, but vulnerability is not a cape he wears easily. “In those days, there was less prejudice against Shadow Summoners. But everyone fears the dark, in one way or another.” He does not look at her as he waits for the penny to drop, half-hoping it stays suspended in the air."

In which Alexander comes clean to Alina and tells her about his true identity in hopes that this will help convince her to take down the Fold.

A rewrite of the fountain scene in episode four, with a good!Darkling that is trying to make amends.

---

This is my all-time favorite good!Aleksander AU. He’s kept in character despite the major changes made to his motivations, and Alina is given a lot more agency in her own story. It’s the first fic in what might become a series, but it can stand alone beautifully.

I love how Aleksander and Alina’s relationship is allowed to grow tense without breaking, and how it’s a clear sign of change but not abandonment. I love how both characters are able to think for themselves and become self-aware and are given the chance to think critically. I love the character interaction so much because it’s honest and fresh and engaging. Everything from the smallest action to the most off-hand thought is in character and meaningful and incorporated with an amazing style of writing. It’s a very refreshing piece, and the writing only makes it that much better.

Bunnies of a Feather Stitch Together by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Just as Alina called to the light, gathering and twisting it into a ball in her hands, the door swung open.

Kirigan blacked out the door frame. His appearance enough would have surprised Alina, but there was something clutched in his arm, something dark and floppy. It almost looked like the stuffed toys that had been passed around to the younger Orphans." - Alina and The Darkling bond over a love of soft things

---

Soft stuffed animal shenanigans. Bits of trans!Aleksander, which I’m very fond of, as well as just a lot of fluff with a bit of something bittersweet and sad in a good way.

Half Lie by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Baghra always talked of the demon that had stolen her daughter." Or, Alina learns the hard way that the Darkling isn't the only one who deals in half-truths

---

This one is trans!Aleksander, and it handles it in a very interesting way. It’s quite sad, and deals a lot with Baghra & Aleksander’s relationship through Alina’s POV. I want to give a warning for transphobia, because it does center around that a lot as the premise, but it really is worth the read if that isn’t a trigger for you. This is one of my favorite trans!Aleksander fics, and the way it handles emotion and grief and pain is quite extraordinary.

The CEO and Helioseismologist by mrthology (Complete)

Aleksander Morozova doesn't get sick. He's the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world, one that he had built from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears. He exercised daily (usually), maintained a healthy diet, and kept himself fit.

He wasn’t sick.

Too bad no one believed him. And too bad Genya decided to call Ivan to take him home before also calling Alina to take care of him.

Maybe, just maybe, being sick wasn't so bad. Especially not when he has such a wonderful girlfriend.

---

Both of the fics in this series are great, but I love this one in particular because I’m an absolute sucker for hurt/comfort. Anyone who’s been on my blog for a while knows that it’s my all time favorite trope to read, and this fic fits the hurt/comfort trope to a T in the best of ways. It’s very tender and in character, and Aleksander and Alina are so soft with each other. It’s adorable and really makes you feel for Aleksander, and the caretaking is done perfectly.

All the different layers of dark (thousand little suns) by Anuna (Complete)

One month after the Winter Fete, Aleksander returns to the Little Palace, and Alina has been missing him.

Or

Episode five canon divergence in which Alina had never left Os Alta.

---

This one is soft emotional hurt/comfort smut. They’re both so open and vulnerable with each other, and it’s so beautiful to read. I love the writing style and the emotion in this one. It makes my heart ache in the best way.

An Honourable Man by liviy695 (Complete)

A reimagining of the scene after the winter fete. Alina catches a glimpse of a caring Darkling after he returns from integrating the Conductor. Plus, no Baghra interference.

---

This one is what it says on the tin, in that Baghra doesn’t interfere and they’re allowed to talk after the Darkling interrogates the Conductor. But more than that, it’s a great imagining of how a scene where Aleksander reveals Marie’s death would have gone. There’s a sort of quiet to it that I appreciate, with grief and solemnity weighed against care and vulnerability.

I see the real you (even if you don’t, I do) by Anonymous (Incomplete - 8/?)

A series of questionable decisions lead Alina to meet the Black General a bit earlier. Butterfly effect ensues.

---

I’ve only read half so far (I hadn’t realized it had updated!! 👀👀) but I’m already in love with this fic. Alina’s dialogue and perspective is perfect, her relationship with Mal and the other cartographers is great, and I really enjoy how much personality she has. Aleksander is so smitten, but more than that, his characterization is soft but not weak. It feels almost as if he’s swept up by Alina, instead of the other way around, and I quite like that.

Of parenting by Anuna (Complete)

Alina finds out how her husband handled yet another parenting situation.

---

This is pure adorable Darklina parenting fluff and I live for it. Yet it doesn’t lack depth and in fact explored Alina and Aleksander’s relationship with parenting quite well.

i have a longing by LRCee - @ladylyannastark (Complete)

“So, Alina Starkov, risk-taker, how did you end up being editing’s newest wunderkind?”

Alina Starkov is rising in the publishing world. Singlehandedly responsible for editing (see: rewriting) the hottest book of the year, she lands a coveted spot at Morovoz Publishers. It's the position she's always wanted, at the biggest publishing house in the country. Life is perfect. That crush on her boss though, that's gotta go.

---

OKAY! I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!! Let me tell you, as someone who is not too fond of Boss/Employee dynamics, I was very wary going into this fic. But boy did it deliver in a way that was perfect for me.

The relationship that develops between Aleksander and Alina is complex but healthy, and it never feels as if there’s too much of a power imbalance or anything that would make Alina feel forced or unhappy. The tension lies purely in how she fears others will perceive her, and not in how unhealthy her relationship with Aleksander is. For somebody who’s often attracted to unhealthy ships, I have to say that my favorite fics are usually ones that don’t have that type of dynamic between the characters. This fic delivers on that.

Also, Aleksander’s POV surrounding his struggle with his Russian heritage and his feelings for Alina is amazing, and has some of the best writing and characterization I’ve seen.

You receive: an evil demon; I receive: human souls by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

The next morning while she tried to tell herself it was a dream, that of course there wasn’t a fucking demon in her house, she found a note taped to her fridge.

“You might eat this shit,” it had written, “but I would like some fucking souls please.”

Darkling Week Prompt 7: free choice. Alina has a demon in her house.

This is absolute crack, and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me.

---

May I just say that this is the most fun I’ve ever had when reading a fic. It’s interesting with a bit of mystery, and Aleksander as a little shit of a demon is hilarious. Alina in this fic is great too. It’s such a unique take on her POV, especially when you reread it after knowing the ending. 10000/10, this fic is brilliant in every way and I love it.

I had been lost to you, Sunlight by BrytteMystere (Complete)

A Girl became a Woman, became a Sankta, became a Goddess.

Or: An Immortal Alina calls upon merzost to reunite with the Prince of Shadows she lost long ago. She may have lost herself in the process.

But then again, maybe time and endless wars did that instead.

---

You really just have to read this one to get it. It is utterly haunting and fascinating in the best of ways. The writing style is strange and novel and fits so well with the story being told. The composition of the fic as a whole is genius.

I Look Inside Myself (And See My Heart Is Black) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"When is a monster not a monster? Why, when you love it, of course."

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 6: Favorite Quote • King & Queen • Monster

---

Once more, this author comes through with an absolutely breathtaking writing style and story. The imagery is elegant yet brutal, simultaneously horrifying and glorious. There’s a certain way these stories are written, like fairytales, where the beautiful becomes the macabre and becomes ever more stunning because of it. It’s very dark but in a good way - an almost bewitching way.

Afterlife by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“You are asking me to leave?”

“Not asking, shadow,” she said. “Telling. Time to get unlost, loser.”

Day 3 Darklina Week prompt: Modern AU (I mean, barely)

Alina expels ghosts from purgatory.

---

@aceofnowhere once again bringing the best of the paranormal to the Grishaverse. Literally everything you write is amazing idk why I’m even pointing out individual fics when I could just rec your whole page. But anyways!! This is fun and interesting and Alina is a badass. Aleksander is, of course, compelling and dark and kind of a little shit, and it’s all incorporated seamlessly into an existential paranormal narrative.

Once Upon a Shooting Star by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"But most of all, she was drawn to a vast darkness that reached out above all of them, a void so hungry for companionship that she knew she could fulfill."

---

Let. Alina. Be. Feral!! Anyways, I clearly have a type when it comes to storytelling, and it’s whatever the fuck this person has got going on. Feral!Star!Alina is literally the light of my life. Her interactions with not only other people but the world in general are so well done, but my favorite parts about this fic are the numerous ways her relationship with Aleksander is described and depicted.

I love the dark and light imagery, especially with how it’s portrayed as them filling in the gaps of each other’s lives and supporting each other instead of trying to block each other out. There’s such clear passion and joy and love and devotion between them. The central focus of this fic is on her and Aleksander’s relationship, the interplay between them and their powers and the way her light fills his loneliness, the passing of adoration and trust and reliance between them. It’s very beautiful and I love it.

A Blaze of Light by Keira_63 (Complete)

They discover the Sun Summoner in the burnt-out remains of the Shu laboratory in which she has spent the last seven years of her life.

Or, the Darkling finds himself with a Sun Summoner whose greatest wish is to burn Shu Han to the ground. He is happy to oblige her.

---

👀👀 Badass Alina and Badass Aleksander. The ultimate power couple, and Alina burning a path through Shu Han before they both burn a path through the world together. The darkness and rage in this one are handled very well, and the way that rage turns to coldness and then resolve is done so well. This fic is very cathartic and also very furious, and reading it is certainly a trip down emotion lane.

One more for the Road by Rist (Complete)

He returns to the war room shaken, and finds an Alina that cannot leave without at least having tried.

---

This one hurts so much but its soooo gooood!!! Very smutty but also very tender and very bittersweet. Sad and soft all at once. I just... love the way Alina and Aleksander are written so much, and Alina’s complicated feelings for him are explored in such detail and depth. This one is truly worth the read.

[thecrazyanimegirl]

Fall anime 2020

And wow, it’s the last season of 2020! May the new year be a lot better, not just anime related!

{ Winter ‘18 }  { Spring ‘18 }  { Summer ‘18 }  { Fall ‘18 }  { Winter ‘19 } { Spring ‘19 }  { Summer ‘19 }  { Fall ‘19 }  { Winter ‘20 }  { Spring ‘20 } { Summer ‘20 }

Alongside the continuations and new seasons like fire force, danmachi,  mahouka koukou no rettousei, golden kamuy and so, these are the new shows that we started:

100-man no Inochi no Ue ni Ore wa Tatteiru 

It is pretty typical isekai anime, just that it has twist and they can go back to their world every time they do a quest. I could see potential in characters and their development, but they aren’t kind of characters I would care about or watch something with meh plot for. Maybe they are building up for something cool, but for now, it was kind of boring for me.

Akudama Drive 

Overwhelmingly cool show about criminals in a dystopian future world. There is not much to say about the story without spoiling other than being so unnecessary cool that I loved it an unnatural amount! The characters, the setting, the action scenes, the animation and conversations, everything is just so aesthetic! I looked forward to it every week! Gonna miss them a lot. Just beware of a lot of violence and blood scenes (even though they are mostly censored).

By the Grace of the Gods 

A really soft isekai with a boy who tames slimes. This is that one (at least) show of the season where you can just turn off your brain, watch some cuteness and forget about everything. It comes with no strings attached, you can drop it halfway and not think twice about it, it won’t make you feel bad in any way, just happiness and rainbows, and sometimes that’s what I need.

Hypnosis Mic -Division Rap Battle- Rhyme Anima 

Women rule the world and pretty boys rap to assert dominance. That’s it, that’s the premise and if you think that ridiculous, yes, it truly is haha If you want to have a laugh, listen to some rapping (can’t say much about the quality of it, but I enjoyed it immensely, good va’s!), go watch it. The plot quality is debatable to say the least, but it’s not really an anime about the story, rather about the 12+ guys and their friendships and rivals and well... rap.

Ikebukuro West Gate Park 

Although a little bit on the improbable side to happen IRL, Ikebukuro WGP showcases multiple situations where we dive behind the back of many realistic happenings in bigger cities. There is always some company in conflict with another thinking solving it in their way is the best possible choice, not taking into consideration what happens to the little people bearing their consequences. It is of course up to the “good mafia” guys to solve it. If you are reading the Webtoon Weak Hero and are in search for some more realistic gang divisions, then feel free to give this anime a try. It has a pretty lovable and crafty MC minus the high-school setting.

Jujutsu Kaisen

Ohh my where to start xD yes, you are looking at the fan favorite anime of this season and there is no doubt about it having that title. I can go on and try to convince everyone saying it has the perfect animation, soundtrack, appearance of the characters and so on but to truly experience it, you will have to watch it. Character development is on the slower track but it is understandable since it is obvious that the series will be a “long distance runner”. What impressed me the most is the perfect balance of humor and tragedy, so if you are one to typically enjoy shonen anime, give it definitely a try through the 3 episodes rule!

Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear 

A girl got isekai’d in a game and now finds friends and people she cares about. Oh and she’s in a bear suit. This was one of those shows I watched for relaxation. There are no bad emotions coming from it and you can just relax, watch something that doesn’t need you to turn on your brain and try to be happy. If you are looking for something serious, you won’t really find it here.

Majo no Tabitabi 

A witch that travels the world, visiting many cities and meeting a lot of people, hearing their stories and moving on. Not action packed, but has things happening throughout the eps. I thought it would be another happy show, but it turned to be quite dark in some episodes. Most episodes have their separate story with minimal connection to the previous ones and some are heartwarming and some are downright grim. Overall, the plot is interesting and the MCs development and way of thinking is interesting too! 

Maoujou de Oyasumi

I KNEW this one is gonna be good when I first read the description of the manga in the bookstore 2 years ago xD What you see above is a small princess who wishes nothing more than a good sleep and a bunch of demons who decided to capture her. It becomes clear early on that she isn’t your typical prisoner as she sets out on quests to find stuff to make her rest more comfortable and NOTHING is gonna stand in her way. Your time watching this anime will be filled with heartfelt laughter and love for the all the characters. Yes, some people might be triggered by her actions and personality but I do believe since I (as a person who prefers to watch shonen) am impressed with it, a great number of people will like it.

Munou na Nana

I really love this anime. MC is an antagonist, pretty much an antihero, but she was made to believe that she is the hero. She is very smart, so anything she plots end up interesting. This show always keeps me on the end of my seat. And it’s a great combination of everyone has supernatural abilities + high school setting, but with a darker twist to it. It’s one of my favorites this season! 

Noblesse

I read the webtoon and I am fan of it, so I am really happy to see Noblesse became an anime! Characters are really awesome and plot is action packed. I’m sure you won’t regret watching it! The humor, the lore and the action is very well balanced and it’s just a good story. If you feel like you really like the anime, but something is missing and you have some time, the webtoon is amazing! Of course, they actually did the anime quite well, but some jokes or additional train of thought that goes in the characters head cannot be all transferred into the animation. Oh and - watch Noblesse: Awakening before this! That’s like the crash course of the first arc of the story.

Taiso Samurai 

A MAPPA anime about a japanese gymnast on the verge of retirement, his daughter and a ninja they adopted! That about covers it! It’s a soft and heartwarming story that really leaves a good feeling after watching it. The characters are lovable and the drama side of the story levels out with humor pretty well, without glossing over stuff too much. I can’t say much about the sports aspect since I don’t know much, but it was worth the watch even though it isn’t the most amazing action-packed anime ever. But it was a solid story, good charas and was just soft.

With a Dog AND a Cat, Every Day is Fun

One and a half minute of a lady with a cat and a dog being incredibly relatable.

Yuukoku no Moriarty

Ah yes, I’m a sucker for every possible variation of sherlock homes, so it’s no wonder how much I enjoyed this. It’s centered about Moriarty, but Sherlock has his time in the later half of the show. The animation is just so beautiful, I loved the stories and mysteries and the way they handled Moriarty as a character. Also a good mixture of mystery, people being hideous creatures, main characters being pretty af and humor. I should continue to the manga now.

Dropped: MAGATSU WAHRHEIT, The Day I Became a God   

[popculturebuffet]

The Casagrandes Reviews: Operation Dad

In my first look at The Casagrandes, We meet Ronnie Anne and Bobby’s dad Arturo as Ronnie tries to get him to start working in the city to be closer to them.. and when a genuine honest appeal dosen’t work, shenanigans will have to do. Dad stuff under the cut. 

This is one i’ve had in the works since my labor day catchup binge of shows, but kept getting pushed back either due to regular coverage or specifically timed things like the bi visalblity day review of “What Was Missing.  And with Halloween next month, my time to cover this is running out a bit and I feel it’s a great place to start covering this show so, pitter patter.  The Casagrandes didn’t really hook me in at first: It did have two things going for it: An intresting premise A blended family coming together, with our heroine and her big bro being fish out of water in a new family situation. Wheras with the Loud House Lincoln, and by extension most of his sisters, is used to how his house runs, knows the score and knows how to manuvre around it, Ronnie Anne was being dropped into a new situation, with people she KNEW, but only likely from seeing them breifly. It’s one thing to see your cousin once or twice a year, as I did with mine at that age, it’s another to live with them. It had a lot of potential. The other thing was Bobby Santiago, Ronnie Anne’s brother, and one of my faviorite characters across both shows, an endlessly nice guy who while suffering from a terminal case of dumbass, is utterly likeable, helped by his VA Carlos PenaVega, with the spinoff and i’ts build up only fleshing him out more by giving him his job at the Mercado, and showing he has serious buisness acumen  in addition to his many other talents. 

But what made me wary was the lead: Ronnie Anne didn’t get the best intro on the loud house. You know this, I know this. We all know this. No sense beating around the bush: She was a bully, who had a crush on lincoln and masked it by pummeling him. And this was seen as okay by the show which isn’t as suprising in hindsight as Chris Savino clearly has messed up views about women and harassment, and is thankfully no longer part of this. She did get slightly better once she actually showed up, getting genuine chemstiry with Lincoln and being shown underneath the bully exteriror was a pretty nice kid who shared his intress. Granted it wasn’t perfect as the show madei t clear he was terrified of her, but it did at least also make it clear he no longer had a reason to be, and while she’d prank her boyfriend, or assits his sister during her dark time once a year in doing it, and if your wondering if i’m ever going to watch or cover the april fools episodes .. yeah i’m just waiting you know.. for april fools. 

My point is it was kinda mixed and their solution was to soften her up a bit but also act like she and LIncoln weren’t intrested in each other all of a sudden instead of you know, dealing with her past actions and having her make up for them. It was sloppy is what i’m saying and the character while not bad wasn’t in the best positoin to tkae the reigns of her own show. They did add some intresting depth with the move though, showing that Ronnie Anne and Bobby were often on their own, and that Maria moved them to the casagrande household simply because she felt her daughter would be happier NOT having to be the strong one or take care of herself all the time and actually have someone look out for her instead. It was a good emotional reason for hte move and both casagrandes showed up ocasoinally, mostly Bobbi whose still with Lori to this day as seen in the season 5 premiere.  It was an okay foundatoin but it would depend on what they did with her character.. and i’m glad to say.. they made it work. The show still has rough edges, mostly having the same problem ducktales and the loud house itself had during season 1 of juggling such a large cast: Most of them outside of Ronnie Anen and Bobby have only gotten 1 episode, and even then CJ feels underutlized despite being amazing, while the adults outside the grandparents feel underutlized.  Buuut the show is funny, intresting, has good pacing and unlike the loud house, having already learned that lesson, while Ronnie Anne does get more episodes than the rest of the family, it does feel more like an ensemble show and the focus on her feels less like the show not knowing what it has and more like easing the viewers into the rest of the cast by using her as a viewpoint.  Ronnie herself is better, the bully aspects gone. She can still take care of herself, and is still fairly indpentent and clever, but she’s got a sharp sense of humor and a clear love of her family and the fish out of water aspect I hoped for, while not used a ton, still comes up in intresting ways.  Overall i’d say the show is off to a good start.. and it has Melissa Joan Heart and Ken Jeong as a married couple and let’s Ken play a diffrent role for once: A dorky, kind dad instaed of any degree of lunatic. That being said given his character her’s last name is Chang, I can’t help but think this and community are in the same universe and that the Changs have just had to put up with whatever insane phase Senor Chang was going througha t the time every time he visted. I mean i’d love to hear Sid tell ronnie anne the time her uncle came over in a napoleon outfit and revaled he’d taken over his community college with the help of a bunch of children.  But i’m getting off topic, I gots an episdoe to cover and out of the ones I watched this felt both like a great re-introduction into the cast and was easily one fo the best with a great emotional core and great jokes and LOTS to dig into. So i’ve jawjacked enough, pitter pater. Again!

It’s with this episode we properly meet Arturo Santiago, Ronnie Anne and Bobby’s father, Maria’s ex, and owner of one hell of a beard. Ronnie mentioned him back in friended aka the pilot because fuck that airing structure but not the time or place for that moving on. 

We see he video chats his daughter once a day, though today she made hte mistake of doing so on a crowded subway while with her best friend and future wife Sid. NOW we can talk about Sid. Sid was introduced in Friended! over on the loud houd house as part of that mini arc I keep yelling about and will again and again. Sid is Ronnie Anne’s clyde: A best friend whose there as her sidekick, emotoinal support and resident goofus, being a bit of a weirdo and given i’m a giant ass weirdo, you can see why I like her/want to keep her safe from the nightmare that is at last half this fandom. Plus she and ronnie anne are adorable together and have more chemstiry than she and lincoln did.. thoguh the two do have OT3 energy together in his one episode, but that’s for another time. 

Anyways as Sid helps her rangle wifi by them by doing the mecha shiva we soon find out Arturo is coming home! Home lord he’s been off in Peru for too longggg. Point is Ronnie Anne is excited, Bobby is excited, everyone’s excited except for Hector who hates him.. and honestly I can see why the contrast. For everyone else, Arturo is a charming, friendly guy who genuinely loves his kids and only is away from them because he has a lot of important work to do and even with that is still an active part of their lives. Buuuut Hector likely sees it diffrently and is likely homing in more on the fact Arturo is barely there in person for his kids and left Maria to do all the raising them by herself, with her own demanding job.  It’s not a black and white situation is what i’m saying and.. I genuinely love that. It’s a complex thing to deal with: A parent who isn’t there for his kids but it’s hard to say if he’s being selfish or not. He’s not david from roseanne doing this so he can feel good about not wanting to deal with being a father or the death of his brother, Arturo genuinely just wants to help those who need him, even if he has to sacrifice a lot to do it.  Ronnie Anne naturally wants him to move here though and convince him during his visit, and her plan nicely shows off the duality of her charcter: She’s clever and can easily think things through, as his originzation has it’s home office in Great Lakes City so he could still help those in need, just more from the organizational end, as well as i’m assuming GLC’s own homeless and needy. But she also has an 11 year olds understading of complex issues and thus thinks the easiest way to convince him is to take him on a fun daddy daughter day that will make him love the city. Bobby is less optimistic about the plan though.. and that’s because he’s been through this with Arturo already. Granted his job for him was at weenier on a stick because it’s bobby, the boy is a peach of a human being but has the plkanning skills and common sense of a basset hound on qualudes.  He just sugest she enjoy the time. And this says a lot about BOBBY too: He’s used to his dad being out of his life, he’s probably been gone for most of it and while he loves him, he’s had ot get used to the fact he’s probably never going to be regularly in his life and while he understands why his sister’s trying this he wants to spare her the pain he went through. It’s interactions like this that to me show the series at it’s best and what it could be: deeper character interactions that really let the characters and voice cast shine, that still mix well with the usual nonsense.  Arturo arrives and everyone loves him.. and again it’s easy to see why: he’s kind, friendly and to the kids, he’s their cool uncle who lives in another country and as someone with one of those, It does feel neat. Hell he was my cool uncle when he just lived in chicago or seattle, but somehow he had to top those by moving to fricking ireland. So I get where they come from and really relate to it.. I mean I met mine in high school, my family tree is complicated, but still.  So while everyone but Hector is happily remeetinmg their uncle Maria shows up. And it’s awkward, the two not knowing how to greet each other, but it’s very obvious Maria and Arturo are on good terms, it’s just hard when theres so much history there.  Speaking of Maria let’s talk about her since this is one of her only scene’s this episode. Maria is one of my faviorites. She isn’t used a ton, but this is more excusable than it is with the Casagrande parents, as the whole point of Maria uprooting her kids to Great Lakes City was to give them company and someone to take care of them while Maria worked the long and varied hours of being a nurse. She’s a good parent, who just picked a rough career, and made the hard decision to uproot her kids, not for her sake, as it can’t be easy living with both your elderly parents, your sister and her husband not to mention 5 kids, a giant adorable pupper and an obnoxious parrot, but so they’d be happy.. which given Ronnie Anne went from having no friends and largely having to be the rock in the house, to having a sizeable friend group plus her cousins, as well as generally being happy while Bobby went from bouncing from job to job to running the family buisness and planning to expand it when he gets older. She’s a good gentle person who still makes time for her kids, and I wish we saw more of her with her spotlight episode, which was about Ronnie Anne trying to spend more time with her, being one of my faviorites so far. I also like the fact that for once in a cartoon a parent with a time sink of a career isn’t demonized for trying to put food on the table and rather than just quit or have a mean boss or the usual cliches, Maria just found a way her kids wouldn’t be alone. She’s awesome.  Ronnie Anne first tries showing him how great the city is with home cooking and a warm bed, but the first while nice is something he still gets, and the latter in a nice touch is just.. too soft for him. Ronnie meant well, but understadably he’s just not used to it and makes a cot under the stars instead.. he’s not trying to be ungreatful, he’s just sued to it. 

Anyways Ronnie indeed takes him on a montage, with some cab headbonks beacause why use an uber that’s cheeper and safer huh? Anyways our father and daughter do have a montage, and hector gets beaten up by a luchadore because this promotion apparently dosen’t get not to attack the crowd. They really need to stop booking that guy.

Ending on our article image, which is really sweet and a real beautiful shot, Ronnie Anne finally gets to her Ronnie Plan. First Arturo cycles through two diffrent assumptions about what she’s asking him about. He first thinks she’s about to tell him about a special boy or girl in his life, his exact words. He backspaces to include that. She says no which.. I guess okay you have other things in mind but you can’t put off him meeting Sid forever. That aside I do think it’s a good indication Ronnie Anne might be bi, and both her parents just easily accepted it which is great. I could be reading too much into this, and I probably am, but I’ve thought I was before on nickeodeon and look how legend of korra ended. 

The next is just hilarious as Arturo tries to let her down gently that he’s not getting back with maria which Ronnie Anne agrees with and was not remotely her point, but I do like as it shows their well and truly done, and it’s nice to see that sort of dynamic with a divorced couple in fiction where it’s not because of lingering sexual tension or anything, just that their apart but have kids to think about and presumibly the split was amicable if again still awkward. Finally Ronnie asks him.. but he gently refuses, since the people he helped need him as much as he wants to stay.. but part of what makes Arturo likeable, especially since he’s in the REALLY throny situation of not being in his kid’s lives in person despite having the opprountiy now, is that he genuinely tries to compromoise, saying he’ll try to up the calls to two a day, and he’ll visit more often. Ronnie Anne sadly and half heartdly says it’s fine and walks off.  So Ronnie Anne vents to that girlfriend she apparently dosen’t have that he cares more about her patients than him and Sid sidgests that part of that is simple: He dosen’t feel she and bobby need him since, as I pointed out earlier, their doing better than ever. So Ronnie Anne intitates a second Ronnie Plan: to convince him she’s a troubled youth and get him to stay and reasssmbles her cousins to help.  Before we move onto this plan that’s totally a good idea and not a borderline Zach Morris evil scheme, let’s talk about those cousins real quick. Quick fire: CJ is really great, a sweet kid and I wish they’d use him more and generally do nto get why they don’t, Carlota is fine but not all that defined at this point but Alexa PenaVega tries.. and why yes it is kinda weird Carlos PenaVega’s wife and the former star of spy kids is playing his sister. And Carl.. I don’t likes him. I just don’t. He did give me a really good episode, which we’ll be covering next month, but he’s just a little asshole with out the charm of fellow little asshole Louie Duck, who alsos cams people but actually gets consqeunces more often. 

That quickfire done Carl does a forgery which depsite me being eh on him, clearly, is a funny bit, to make Ronnie Anne look like she’s failing, but that fails as you’d expect when he can help her with that from Peru.  So it’s on to the actual plan: Which really boils down to this. 

I mean.. that’s essentially the plan convince him she’s running with a dangerous crowd and is breaking bad, dressing up in punk clothes and making a scene at breakfast. She also gets a really neat new haircut, similar to luna’s but spiky which.. why isn’t this her normal hair? and why dosen’t she at least keep the cool leather jacket? I always get annoyed when a character’s temporary costume change is even better than their default design and htey fail to realize it but whatever.  IT starts to work a little but clearly a breakfast tauntrum won’t be enough so Ronnie Anne enlists Sid.. who is frightend,d osen’t recognize her and dosen’t want to get shoved into a locker. .. who hurt you.. tell me.. I have a box to deliver. Just let me pop a quick H on there real quick. 

Anyways, once Sid realizes “Oh that’s not a bully come to shove me in a locker that’s just my girlfriend in the middle of a zack morris grade elabroate manipulative scheme”, which happens once a week their fine, she comes up with one last plan: Have her friends, who are neat but need more filling out, dress up like punks bullying her friend sameer.  This plan.. makes no sense. For one she was already a bully back home.. granted it was because she liked the kid, which no just no, but it’s heavily implied she did the same to the rest of the lincrew too. .which aside from Rusty isn’t a good look. I mean his face is punchable and he mocked hte idea of them being together despite next season hitting on Lincoln’s sisters, there’s a 1:1 chance he hit on her and she shoved him in a locker as is the natural response to anyone getting asked out by that goober. No matter how hard the show tries to pretend that didn’t happen it did. If her bullying kids didn’t get him to move home back in royal woods it won’t work now. 

So they had behind the fish market for their plan, Arturo is directed there.. and sees through it. I mean she’s probably sent him pictures of her friends, he knows who they are and no amount of costumes is going to fix that. I mean you really only changed Nikki’s hair. Why not just have a dance fight. i’m legitly asking dance fights are rad and this reminds me of the venture bros episode where hank, to impress his date, has billy and white pretend to be a street gang to impress his date. Just do that for sid instead of trying to gaslight your dad into staying.  But no while he pulls her into the car, Arturo knows this was a stunt and asks why. When Ronnie Anne tearfully reveals she just wanted him to stay.. he hugs his child.. and agrees. He realizes that if she’s willing to go to these lengths to get him to stay, she must REALLY miss her papa. So he plans to call the office to transfer.  But then while helping her dad unpack, Ronnie Anne finds something and we get another emotional scene: Ronnie Anne finds the letters he got from the various kids he’s helped, and is moved to tears. Props to Izabella Alvarez for her performance here as she reads the letter and realizes just what her dad’s work does ,and why it means so much to him. He truly helps those who need it and she decides she can’t take that awy from it: Sure her dad won’t be around.. but other kids need her dad more. She has a big family, she misses her dad.. but she can live without her dad. They need a doctor. 

So Arutro heads out with a tearful goodbye and Ronnie Anne leaves him a scrapbook of their time together. We then cut to the Santiago sibs playing cards, and being sad about their dad and all that.. when Arturo calls.. and then shows up in person. He took the Headquarters job after all, though a close friend of his we met earlier in the episode but I ddin’t mention will be taking over in Peru, and from earlier clearly wanted to get back out in the field, so it all works out. And it’s a nice character moment; Arturo realizes while his work is important, and as mentioned he does make sure a compient replacment will continue it.. his family can be too and it’s okay to think of himself and them for once. As I said he’ll still be able to help just in a diffrent way and there are probably needy kids who need him here too, if not in the same ways obviously as a doctors without borders type project. So eveyrone shares a group hug and even Hector bursts into tears. And Maria comes in wondering what she missed whiel Sergio asks who wants to tell her. oh sergio.. why didn’t you stay away when you ran away in a future episode.  Final Thoughts: Not much more to say. It’s a well done episode with high emotinal stakes, great acting and some great jokes I didn’t get to, and while the plot of “Make absent parent stay by pretending things are bad’ isn’t new, it’s done well enough here. Overall just a really good episode that shows what this show can do and why it’s unique family setup makes for intresting stories a lot of shows can’t tell, and validates this spinoffs existnace. The episode also really fleshes out Ronnie Anne’s character, and givne Arutro’s been gone since the divorce if not longer, it’s resonable to supsect her earlier bullying might have been lashing out at her parents divorce. It’s just good stuff. Keep an eye peeeld to this blog for my regular loud house and ducktales coverage , and some more casagrandes this october. ANd until then, Go Team Venture!

[echotovalley]

so because I’m taking a writing break but still super needy

I figured I would post this outline for a pokemon au that I’m never going to write. it’s basically notes from a conversation I had back in early 2018? Imagine my surprise going back now and realizing this might read much like Detective Pikachu - cubone is just my favorite pokemon

***before we get into anything please know that while I play pgo and I’ve learned LOTS of new pokemon, I’m still the most familiar and attached to the og 150 + 1. I also probably get a lot of canon pokemon rules and history wrong but my heart is in the right place

reblogs appreciated! | come talk at me about your thoughts or literally anything

premise: keith might not be a pokemon person

but pokemon are definitely a keith person

- for unknown reasons keith docks in cuba, he's kind of just been getting work and moving moving always moving because one place never works out for long. pokemon are everywhere but it's not his thing.

it never happened for him besides why would he make an animal be saddled with him? there's no stability there. and again, he's always moving. through so many different regions.

he doesn't have the heart to yank a sandshrew onto a barge across the atlantic or a charmander up the northeast coast of the US. he can barely take care of himself. and it's weird by now. to not have a pokemon by now. they were everywhere and so normalized.

they were part of everyday school curriculum and even in hospitals and rescue stations. which is another reason why he never stayed in one place very long because not having a pokemon didn't incite people to trust you.

bc even team rocket (team rocket still sounds so much better than team galra but team rocket is the galra) had pokemon that bonded and trusted them.

he gets a room and some horrible job on the coast and basically just gets by. tries not to cause trouble or get caught or encourage rattatas or a caterpie to follow him home because they could still smell half the lunch he didn't eat tucked in his bag

- i'm plotting by the seat of my pants but what really kick-started all of this was the thought of Keith finding a wounded cubone in the middle of the night.

it's too dark and raining to tell what animal or pokemon attacked it or if it was a person that fractured the skull he wore enough for a piece to break off along the jaw

the cubone sustained a mean looking scrape to its face and this is not what keith needs right now but he can tell the cubone's crying and kind of just accepted what's happened and it keeps pawing at the missing piece in the skull and keith may not actively interact with pokemon but he doesn't hate them and he still has a heart.

he's docked in cuba and his spanish just gets him by to get food and money and not anger anyone

he didn't think the barge's docking region through all of the way so he's got a cubone to help with rudimentary spanish that sucks on the best day but he's going to try and get the cubone help

he starts rushing through streets and people's yards because he could have swore the town had a gym he passed but in the dark and rain it takes him a full hour to find the gym.

- duh it's closed but he's at least going to bang on the doors and hopefully it's going to set off an alarm or something

the police will show up or someone will be able to take the cubone where it needs to go. his hand is numb from knocking as hard as he could before the door is whooshed open and someone is spitting rapid fire spanish like venom and he thinks he manages to get out that he can really only speak english and shoves the cunbone into their hands.

before he knows it, he's being yanked by his collar into the gym and down hallways and finally into the blinding lights of the pokemon center on sight.

there's more spanish and faces that look so similar that its clear it's a family that runs the gym.

- beep beep guess who's family owns and runs the gym

the pokecenter is actually a rehabilitation center founded and run by the McClain family for several generations

he gets questioned after the cubone is taken back behind the doors and it takes someone repeatedly snapping their fingers in front of his face to get him to come back to the conversation.

his name's keith, he's from the US, he just found the cubone - no he doesn't know if it has an owner, doesn't even know if it’s wild or if it has a nearby pack or how it got hurt or how long it’s been hurt.

but keith,

keith is his name and he can at least answer that.

he stays there over night and finds out that Marco is the one that answered the door. Veronica is the one to actually examine him because he looks like he's about to pass out.

their mother is the one to assure him the cubone would be fine - her daughter Rachel attends to injured pokemon and gets another son Luis to show Keith to a room in their house and keith passes out the second he stumbles to a bed.

- in the morning, when he goes to the bathroom and is in the middle of washing his hands, another son is banging on the door for Marco to get out of the bathroom and that's the first time he meets lance

when Keith yanks the door open he tells him to freaking stop because he's clearly not marco.

an older man, probably come to break up a fight, stops and blinks at keith before shouting over his shoulder about not remembering having or getting another kid (arthur "and who are you???" weasley style)

(our boy Lance has a minor panic about the cute random guy is his bathroom at 8 a.m.)

Keith gets shoved down at a table covered in food for breakfast and can't keep up he definitely has a headache and is ready to throw himself through a window when he's asked about his pokemon and if they need help too

he doesn't have pokeman and never has had one and isn't really interested and this family has centered their entire lives around it

- he sees the cubone again, in recovery and it paws a little at his hands in thanks

over the next few days, he stays with them and somehow gets roped into doing chores around the facility and given an assigned seat at their table for meals and he's just T H R O W N

they literally have an arbok taking a nap in a hammock in their backyard and a pod of seadras in an olympic pool in the gym just hanging out (doing little races between each other or chasing each other)

a vulpix he learns belongs to one of the McClain siblings (Rachel) sunbathes and sniffs at his feet while he’s working in the yard

and there's a persian destroying blinds in the living room window and a charizard in the kitchen

and some random small children he learns are marco's are throwing or shooting across the floor fridge magnets as a game with a magnemite

- begrudgingly on McClain’s part, keith’s assigned to Lance for being shown around the rehab center

lance takes him to the beach and out into the middle of the ocean on a boat

Keith: "this is where you feed me to a gryados"

Lance: "close"

and a freaking L A P RA S pops up out of the water and clicks at lance and makes little waves in his direction and they do a damn forehead touch he's crazy this is crazy

Keith: "YOU HAVE A LAPRAS???!!!!" - because even keith who doesn’t do pokemon knows what the heck a lapras is

Lance "I don't have a lapras. Nobody owns her. We just give her her room and protect or heal her when she needs it"

- the next few weeks see lance having to admit keith isn’t so bad and that just because he doesn’t have a pokemon, it doesn’t mean he actively dislikes them

the cubone is attached to keith - despite his bad attitude, lance says

this is the initial thought that kicked this off: keith asks if they have a 3D printer and once the cubone's injury is fully healed, he makes a mold for the missing piece and fits it in place

lance denies crying

"you've done one (1) good thing, kogane"

- then the real plot kicks in when the lapras is captured and taken from the beach by team rocket

lance blames keith because of the timing, because of keith's vague answers on where he's from, why he has no friends or family, no pokemon

insert painful, raw, yelled, "I TRUSTED YOU"

keith convinces him he's not part of team rocket and the main story starts where lance and keith leave to go after the lapras and return her to cuba.

- before they leave, rachel throws a pokeball at keith "i think your cubone might like this one"

and lance's eyes get huge because he knows what it is and then a pokemon is coming out of the pokeball

and it's a marowak

the cubone very carefully and slowly approaches her and the marowak just watches and waits. the cubone brushes its bone across the marowak's foot and then approaches and okay keith's eyes definitely water as he watches this marowak kind of take in the cubone.

(THE CRITICAL HIT COMES WHEN THE CUBONE EVENTUALLY EVOLVES. I like to think maybe through poke-magic the skull fixes itself when he evolves and the cubone hands the 3d mold back to keith and gets keith to put it on a chain safe for his skin to wear the 3d mold piece still)

- obv they get the lapras back,

they find out keith's mom was a double agent ofc for the team rocket faction that took the lapras

they meet hunk and pidge and allura and coran and romelle and others along the way to take down team rocket because what’s a pokemon au without the power of friendship

- keith and lance wait at the airport in cuba

it's for shiro, he had let keith travel because he saw that keith needed to find room to grow and find who he was

obviously keith is not 10. he and lance are 17.

anyways he rushes keith and pulls him into a big hug and tells keith how proud of him he is

the first thing lance tells shiro is about the time keith almost stepped on an exeggcute and how they chased him

or the time he almost sustained a skull fracture from a taurus and the time a seel thought keith was its mom

there was also that time with a magby-

keith: “OKAY LANCE WE GET IT THANK YOU”

BONUS:

keith being mildly terrified of the pokemon hanging around the McClain properties

Lance: "if you want to lay in the hammock just move him"

Keith: "just move him?! it's an arbok not a lap dog"

a nest of torchicks gets laid in the backyard and follows keith for two days after they hatch and lance laughs so hard he cries because keith can't shake them and he winds up tripping and they all jump on top of him

keith might not have been a pokemon person

but pokemon are definitely a keith person

[arcaneranger]

Final Thoughts - Summer 2019

Hey, look who finished the season perfectly on time, even if he did so by dropping a bunch of stuff last minute! (Technically, as of writing, I haven’t finished Re:Stage Dream Days, but you can rest assured that it’s bad.)

I thought I was going to do a first impressions rundown video for the entire season at once, since my impression posts don’t tend to get a lot of engagement anyway, but since I didn’t end up going through with it, I’ll summarize my point - summer started strong, and even here at the end, I can easily say it’s the best season thus far in what’s largely been a letdown year for seasonal anime (and a god damn renaissance for long shows, thanks to My Hero Academia, so if I seem down on a season that had Dororo, or Vinland Saga, or Fruits Basket, remember that I exclude those shows from my considerations until the end of the year).

This season saw several high-profile continuations like A Certain Scientific Accelerator, Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls In a Dungeon II, and Symphogear XV, but also new works by creators like Mari Okada, and anticipated adaptations of Astra: Lost in Space and Arifureta: From Commonplace to World’s Strongest, and in the end, well...a lot of those were mixed bags at best, but the biggest drawback I will remember Summer 2019 for is that it was drowning in bad isekai shows. The aforementioned Arifureta, the basically-counts Danmachi, and also Isekai Cheat Magician, Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks, The Lost Ones, Demon Lord Retry!...it just never ended, and that’s not even counting If It’s For My Daughter, I’d Even Defeat a Demon Lord. 

Speaking of all that stuff, let’s get right into it, yeah?

28 shows were simulcast this season, and of those, I…

Skipped 4:

Yami Shibai 7, Starmyu Season 3, A Certain Scientific Accelerator, and Lord El-Melloi II Case Files: Rail Zeppelin Grace Note were all skipped because I have not watched the previous series.

Dropped 15:

Worst of the Season: If It’s For My Daughter, I’d Even Defeat a Demon Lord!

I dropped this after one episode because I found the aesthetic and tone to be aggressively boring and I found even the cute daugheroo character to be utterly generic in execution...and then later found out oh boy was I right to drop it, based on how many people compared it to the Bunny Drop manga that we don’t talk about. *shudders*

Arifureta: From Commonplace to World’s Strongest

Wins the “biggest tryhard” award for being just the most straightforward an SAO award gets, right up to being grimdark for dumb reasons. The first episode alone had inconsistent animation, and that just did not bode well for the future...and the plot instantly reminded me of Slime, which soured on me over time. I let this one go sour after one shot.

Demon Lord, Retry!

The blandest of beige this season, Demon Lord had neither the story nor the production values to reel me in or convince me it was anything but the Overlord wannabe it so clearly was.

Isekai Cheat Magician

This show was a pretty transparent attempt to have an isekai story with a childhood friend romance plot, and while I’m fine with one and a half of those things, it couldn’t execute them in any decent way by the end of the first episode, and just wound up being largely boring.

Wasteful Days of High School Girls

Speaking of boring, what if Nichijou wasn’t funny? You’d get something like this.

Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?

So the tone this one ultimately ended up having was pretty much exactly what I expected after the premiere - it leaned too hard on jokes that weren’t as funny as it thought they were, and too hard on the dumb hentai mom trope, and neither of those things interested me in the slightest. Pretty okay with having left this off the watchlist.

The Ones Within

I have stated multiple times in the last few weeks that Symphogear is great because it can convince you that it’s a work of genius. The Ones Within has, unfortunately, convinced itself that it’s deep social commentary of some kind, rather than a bargain-bin Danganronpa with no real thought put into it.

Are You Lost?

I’m amazed that we got another Eromanga Sensei this season and it flew entirely under the radar. For God’s sake, the first episode featured a young teenage girl eating a bug and drinking her own urine. I just didn’t see myself being particularly entertained by the shock value longer than the premiere.

Ensemble Stars (4/10)

I can’t tell if this one is actually over, but Funimation’s site doesn’t list any new episode premieres coming up, so I’m gonna assume it is? I gave this one a shot and hung onto it because it took UtaPri’s premise and gave it the slightly more serious tone I was looking for, but dropped it after the second episode started to drown us in side characters with no hint that the floodgates were closing, rather than giving ample screentime to a select cast so they could actually become at least two-dimensional before throwing in more people we’re supposed to care about.

BEM

BEM suffered from an unfortunate lack of distinct personality, which sucks when it seems to have had a decent story to tell. Nothing else about the show wound up sticking out to me, though, which has me fully convinced that Production I.G.’s name is only on this to boost recognition, and the second-billed LandQ studios did the majority of the work. And their best-known other show is Swordgai. So...

To The Abandoned Sacred Beasts (5/10)

I have gotten absolutely no pushback so far for my decision to tear into this show because it should have been a different show, so I’m gonna take that as a general agreement of my earlier statement. What a waste of a concept.

Cop Craft (5/10)

This one I still think I was not crazy to pick up after the first episode, because it wasn’t until the third that the animation tanked hard and the pacing went absolutely nuts, and apparently stayed that way. Did they write a thirty-nine-episode story that had to be condensed into twelve or something?

Magical Sempai

This one I probably would have kept watching if the majority of its humor wasn’t just the title character embarrassing herself in lewd ways. It was funny, but I didn’t see myself enjoying anything more than one episode of it.

GRANBELM (6/10)

This one I got halfway through before realizing that, during my end-of-season catchup, I had absolutely no desire to return to. The plot didn’t really start moving until the fifth episode, and in that time I had not gotten particularly invested in the characters, especially since the show makes fun of the viewer for thinking that the big mecha dream battles actually had stakes beyond “you don’t get to be The Thing”. At least it looked nice and the mecha designs were very original.

Are you willing to fall in love with a pervert, as long as she’s a cutie?

There were four shows this season with questions for titles. Just saying! This one actually had me hooked right up until the end, revealing that not only is it a fanservice show, but a fetish pandering one. That being said, if I were attracted to women, I could have seen myself getting something out of it, what with the decently moody tone and good production values.

I put 2 On Hold:

Is It Wrong to Try To Pick Up Girls In A Dungeon? II

I’ll probably come back to this when the third series comes around, just to give it one more chance to pull me back in, but ditching my favorite character for harem antics and character shilling just did not endear me to this long-awaited sequel.

Re:Stage Dream Days!!

This one’s not actually on hold, but I don’t have any other good place to mention it. This one I’m gonna make it through just on willpower, not because it’s good, but because it starts out as the most shameless rip-off I’ve ever seen in anime, specifically of Love Live!.

And I Finished 7:

Kochoki (5/10)

I thought I was gonna give this one a 7 at least, for nearly the whole season, for being a decently-told and somewhat new telling of Nobunaga’s early life with great production values for Studio Deen...right up until the structure fell completely apart at the end, almost completely out of nowhere. I’m still in awe of the gall this show had to literally skip over the final battle.

How Heavy Are The Dumbbells You Lift? (8/10)

This one came right the fuck out of nowhere and totally blew my expectations out of the way from the very first episode. Looking at the summary, I was convinced I was gonna drop this after the premiere...and found myself totally hooked by its cheery visual presentation and excellent sense of meta-comedy, not to mention its genuine educational value.

Astra: Lost In Space (8/10)

One of two adaptations I was really looking forward to this season (along with Fire Force), Astra was pretty much what I expected - a very good translation of a very good manga that ran for the perfect amount of time to be divided into twelve-ish episodes. A fantastic and memorable cast of characters enhanced a surprisingly twisty story, and Lerche made it all look just as good as I’d hoped.

The Demon Girl Next Door (8/10)

Speaking of defying my expectations, another show I was expecting pretty much nothing from, maybe one I could compare to Gabriel Dropout or something, that was instead an incredibly charming story of a girl trying to save her family by defeating a magical girl...with a very, very loose definition of the word “defeat” in play. I couldn’t have asked for much more from this one, aside from maybe a sequel?

Given (9/10)

Speaking of “Lerche” and “gorgeous”, this profoundly gripping story of a spacecase and a loner hesitantly making music together blossomed further and further as it went on, and became my new go-to reference point for explicit gay relationships in anime. It went where even Yuri On Ice!!! couldn’t, and left me desperate for a Part Two.

O Maidens In Your Savage Season (9/10)

My write up for this show was one of my longest in recent memory, and I stand by it - even if Okada had to write a few plot contrivances in to get where she’s going, at least she presented her cast in an incredibly thoughtful way and gave them a satisfying payoff, with the knowledge that they’re teenagers and all of their problems can’t be solved in one semester. The high water mark for discussions of sexuality in this medium.

BEST OF THE SEASON: Symphogear XV (9/10)

Anime is wonderful, and so am I.

So that wraps up summer! We’ve got a lot to look forward to in fall, even if My Hero Academia and Food Wars’ fourth series will both ultimately end up on a list in the distant future next year. Will Psycho-Pass 3 redeem the series? Will Azur Lane be better than Kantai Collection? Will Beastars beat Aggretsuko as the biggest furry panderer of the year? Only time will tell. And then I’ll tell you all what I think it said.

[pimbilucha]

Trigger Warning.

-this post mentions Statutory s*xual behaviors with a minor (no intercourse) mild mention of self-harm and eating disorder-

I have never talked to anyone about this because even though i conceptually know it was not my fault, i was a child that was tricked by someone double her age, i still felt guilty and ashamed. i still do hence the reason why i am doing this anonymously or at least as anonymously as i can. For a long time i had just given up on talking about this and decided to deal with it on my own, but recently something happened that encouraged me to tell my story, maybe not as a comfort to myself but hopefully to help prevent this happening to anyone else.

At this point, many of you have already heard about what Millie Bobby Brown said about her relationship with Drake, the moment i read this it raised multiple red flags, and as i have seen it did the same for others as well.  I also imagine that there are many others that might think “these Tumblr dweebs always making such a bit deal out of everything” “its not that big of a deal” and i also imagine that there are kids around Millie’s age annoyed that people are reacting that way. So, i want to use my personal experience as an example to show you that it t isn’t always exaggeration and SJWs trying to find something to complain about. however, before starting i want to make a disclaimer that although i find DRake’s behavior problematic and gross, to be honest at the end of the day i do not completely know his intentions so i do not want to falsely tarnish his name (you know i don’t want to get sued or whatever) i am just using this recent situation as an example i suppose.  

When i was 14 i felt a lot of pressure to fit in, as many of us do. Due to this pressure, i did a lot of stupid things i wish i had not done. one of the things that i was so harsh on myself about was dating, because of the society we live in and the media and such kids are basically told to start dating as fast as possible, if they don’t then there’s probably something wrong with them; i am not trying to vilify dating, i mean if you want to start dating at 13 or 14 sure go ahead i mean i do feel it’s too young to go through all not so pretty parts about dating but as long as you want to and it is someone around your age 13-14 or 15  go ahead but i also want you to know that if you don’t date until much later in life or not at all even that is also okay don’t force yourself to do it, because that's what i have done multiple times and i regret it deeply. The first time, when i was 14 i had never liked anyone i actually didn't have a real crush on a real person (none celebrity or fictional) until i was 19, but during my preteen years my lack of interest in anyone troubled me i felt like i was odd, like there was something wrong with me so every once in a while i forced or tricked myself into having “crushes”. one, in particular, was on a boy who lived in the same apartment complex as one of my “friends” at that time, which coincidentally was located across the street from my apartment complex so you can imagine that i spent a lot of time in her house. The biggest coincidence was that this boy’s stepfather was my new volleyball coach, he worked at our school, a Catholic all-female school. As i had been practicing volleyball since i was in 5th grade (my school goes from pre.K to 11th-grade high school when you graduate) my “plan” was to get close to my coach so i could get close to his son. I can now see how seriously flawed and troublesome this was but alas, i was a child and all my “friends” seem to think it was a perfect idea.  i feel like a need to give a little background so to make this a little bit less of a huge mess. for starters these “friends” i keep mentioning were part of a bigger group of friends, we were about 10 or 12 and we had all been friends since 3th grade, most of the time it was my best friend and i and the rest, however in 7th grade our teachers separated us and my BFF and i were in different classrooms and the rest were all divided with us. I was in the same classroom as three of our friends... let's call them “TCA” i remember that during 3 and 4th grade would always fight with those three but we always made up, i haven’t talked to them since btw. T is the one that lives in the apartment complex across from me and in the same place as the coach. My best friend and i drifted apart during that year but her parents still drove me home after volleyball practice every week *that’s relevant to the story later* 

The “plan” started off going well, i mean at least i thought it was. I remember thinking if the coach thought i was pretty he would start talking to his son about me, that's what my grandma did every time she saw a good looking boy why would this be any different?? so i started trying to look as pretty as i could during practice ( i can’t help but shake my head at 14-year-old me) on time TCA and me were at T’s apartment and we decided to go look for the boys to ask them if the wanted to hang out with us, when we got to the coach’s house his son wasn’t there, nor was his wife or his daughter (that went to school with us but was younger) yet he still thought it was okay to invite us in, we accepted because i think we thought “oh my God! we get to see the inside of a teachers house!!”  but now i know that this should have been a warning sign. To make a long story short, i started spending a lot of time with the coach, i don’t know how or when but apparently what i was perceiving as a friendship? or his help to get close to his son now i know was something else, what i thought was friendly funny banter he probably thought it was flirting? Then at some point even though in a way i knew it was weird i started enjoying the attention i was getting and although i felt guilty when you’re 14 and you already think there’s something wrong with you for not dating or having crushes and then suddenly someone is giving you that attention you felt you needed, its ..intoxicating. he started finding ways to get me alone with him, it was weird i felt a little uncomfortable, i knew things were heading in a completely different way i had imagined, and i didn’t want it to go that way, i was scared and nervous but the attention made me feel special, mature even. Then one day for volleyball practice my best friend couldn’t stay, therefore i didn’t have no one to take me home, there was no one at school. i spent the two hours in that were usually designated for practice in the gym with all the gym teachers until one by one they all started leaving, as i was about to leave the room the coach stood in front of me and kissed me. it was my first kiss, i was 14 and a 40 something married man with kids whom i trusted took it from me. that day while walking home, something i wasn’t supposed to do, it took me 2 or 3 hours to get to my house (you can study far from your area where I’m from) and during the whole walk it was so confused, i felt gross and wrong i kinda wished i was run over by a car, but at the same time i felt special too in such a twisted way i can’t even explain.  A few days after that he told me to meet him at night, i thought and hoped it was to tell me that what he had done was wrong, so i made up a lie and left my house, meet him somewhere and to my horror he took me to a motel, i tried to convince myself it was so no one could see us while we talked, i was only half right. 

i still remember every moment of that night and it sends shivers down my spine, i feel repulsed and gross i feel like i want to bathe in bleach. i am thankful that i was able to keep my clothes on the whole time, i am also thankful to god there was no intercourse just touching and kissing. It wasn’t mutual, i just remember laying there and wanting to go home, just waiting for it all to stop. i felt shame, i felt gross and evil, i didn’t want it but i never said no, i just let it happen, laying there to scared to move, i did say no to other things though, like getting into the tub or something he kept mentioning he saw in “American pie” i did say no to that, but i never stopped him from touching me, i remember he grabbed my hand in tried to make me feel how “turned on”I had made him, it was scary it was gross i just pulled my hand away and pretended it didn’t happen. i was confused really confused i didn’t want it but part of me was like “well you like the attention, what did you expect you’re not saying no so you must like it” the rest was scared. when it finally finished, he took me back home, he left me a few blocks away and as i walked i felt dirty, like trash undeserving of respect, part of me wanted to die. i got home and pretended as if all was fine, but the more time passed the dirtier and the more disgusted i felt with myself. i hated everything about me, after that night i just avoided him like the plague but i still had to see him in class, i also started hearing rumors. i was terrified, i was ashamed, i felt guilty (i still do) and i just wanted to die. i remember he even got another teacher to get me to talk to him, i just blocked them all and tried as hard as i could to pretend nothing ever happened, or at least on the outside because in the inside i was withering away and so where my grades and everything else about me. 

In a desperate attempt for me not to fail a year my parents sent me to the U.S, you might have asked yourself where were my parents until now, they were at home they were there and i know they tried but they were also busy with a 1-year-old and a 9-year-old, they were also trying their best to give us the life we had: private schools, good neighborhood and such all with the income of one parent, in addition to that puberty, is a dangerous time where you build a wall against them for no reason. they tried i know they tried, when i walked home that time they were furious my school let me leave the premises without proper authorization given that i either rode the bus or my friends parents would drive me so i had no reason to walk home, after that my school implemented strict rules for letting students leave school property by foot, but i also know that because of how parenting is where i am from i would have probably just gotten yelled at and grounded (which would have been better tbh). anyway in America, i started cutting, i also started making myself throw up after each meal, i feel like in a way it was just a desperate cry for help, i never really made myself bleed they just looked like scratches but each time my family would find out my parents only yelled at me, and seeing how much it broke my grandparents hearts was enough to make me stop. I never really got the help i needed but i started focusing on myself, getting better on my own, getting good grades and forgetting it. When i want back to my old school in my home country, the coach was not in my school anymore, he had quite but his daughter was there for a few more years so i had to see his ugly evil face a few more times, i also saw him near his house since it was so close to mine, it always brought back terrible memories that made me want to die and burn myself but i was back with my real friends and although they don’t know everything that happened they gave me their love and support. 

to this day, i more often than not get random flashbacks of that time, they still fill me with shame, guilt, and pain. although i know i was groomed that doesn’t take the thorn of hatred i still have for myself, that doesn’t help me forget or forgive myself all i really learned how to do is live with it and try as hard as i can to pretend that it never happened. No one yet knows the full extent and my family has no idea because i don’t want me to look at me differently i don’t want them to not see me like the daughter they love, i don’t want people to see me as a (pardon my language) sl*t that didn’t say no. i know at this point that i probably didn’t do what i said i was and this probably doesn’t help to identify predators or gives any help at all. I just want you to know that if you read thus far that please be wary of any older person that shows a little to much interest in you, i know it might make you feel special and that the attention feels nice and it might be something you need but please stay away and tell someone. it can start innocently like a friendship, a  help or a guide and it may just stay like that, i hope to god it always stays like that, but sadly we share this world with gross gross people, that like taking advantage and grooming young naive kids. I don’t know how to put it into words, but just stay away from them, ask why are they showing so much interest in someone younger and much vulnerable than them i know it might sound like i am insulting you but i really mean it, why can’t they find friends their age? why are they showing such selfless interest in your love life? why are they asking you to not share seemingly innocent conversations or interactions with other? ask yourself that, ask someone you know and trust that. That’s why what Millie said rang some bells, again i am not trying to tarnish Drake’s name given that this is all just a misunderstanding, but you can’t just tell a 14-year-old “i miss you” and expect it not to sound predatory he may have good intentions, but i don’t know him and from this perspective he sounds like a threat i know all too well now. And even if! he is just trying to be a guide, he should be more mindful of what he says or does and maybe be aware that their interactions shouldn’t be so private, he is the adult he is the one with the power and he is the one that should know. i don’t even know what point I’m trying to make now, but just please be careful. 

Age is nothing but a number is only valid to motive you to not let it stop you from following your dreams, not as an excuse to be in an unbalanced relationship. during your first decade of life, every year is so different, i was a completely different person when i was 13 and when i was 14 and there's only a year difference, at 13 i was still interested in some toys and playing with my friends and i said i woullld never drink in my life, at 14 i was like uughhh! so lame to all of that and i got drunk for the first time ever; at 15 i was also much different than at 14, same as 16 and 17 each year it was as if i was a different person, with different tastes, style, thoughts, fears different everything, it wasn’t until 18 when i became more established in who i was and what i wanted, and even though now at 22 i am a little different than then the changes are minor, they’re more of knowledge and stability and anything else. i don’t think i could have a conversation with myself now and me at 14 it would be impossible, so why would someone much older than you want to be in a relationship with you? in a real stable healthy relationship? they don’t, they want to be in control, they want to handle you and use you how they want they want to trick you into doing what they want you to do even if you might feel uncomfortable. sure if you’re 20 and you’re in a relationship with someone a few years older (up to 7 feels okay) that's fine because you’re established as your own person now, you know the world a little better,  and both of you are in similar mental places which leads to you being in a balanced equal position, were both of you respect each other.  IDK just be careful, i don’t know how to explain what i want to say. 

one more thing!  boys i know society always shows you it is okay too and that you are a bigger man when you are able to get the older woman or guy, i can name movies and shows that imply that but it’s not okay, this goes for you too!

again! i am not trying to tarnish DRakes name, i am aware i might be translating my personal experience into this situation and making it a misunderstanding. in the off chance, it is this case i apologize but i am not sorry it still serves as an example. please stay away from younger girls. YOU HAVE THE SAME AGE DIFFERENCE WITH MILLIE AS MY PARENTS HAVE WITH ME, A 17 YEAR DIFFERENCE. YOU COULD BE HER FATHER IF YOU WOULD’VE HAD HER YOUNG. so stay away, she has other younger people that can help her with boys. if your intentions are not bad i apologize but stay away.

[ayearofpike]

The Wicked Heart

Pocket Books, 1993 244 pages, 16 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-74511-5 LOC: CPB Box no. 1195 vol. 8 OCLC: 29202142 Released November 1, 1993 (per B&N)

When Sheila Hardolt’s best friend doesn’t show up for school one Friday, she’s worried and goes to her house to check on her. Her friend isn’t home — but on her pillow there’s a small white card with a swastika. The card connects Sheila with a detective conducting the investigation into the disappearances of other girls in the area. When it turns up at a house where two teenagers have been killed, Sheila fears but suspects the worst. What she doesn’t realize is that she already knows who the murderer is, and in fact she’s been asking him for help in solving the case.

I don’t remember much about this book, but I have a vague memory of not liking it. Maybe it’s because the premise of being compelled to do something against your will by the ghost of old relatives is so creepy. But just maybe it’s because I understood even as a teenager the thing that bothered me the most on this re-read: that dehumanizing Nazis to some degree delegitimizes the very real horrors that humans can inflict on others. I’m not going so far as to call Pike a Hitler apologist, but turning the leader of the SS into a literal devil and associating his party’s symbols with an unrelated evil fifty years on paints over the observable, physical evils and ills perpetrated by people in Germany and Europe leading up to and during WWII. And yes, painting over with black is still painting over.

Like, I don’t even really want to summarize this book, which will maybe make me keep it short. I’ll do the briefest rundown I can while sharing relevant points. First, Pike is back to multiple viewpoints, which he hasn’t done very much recently. We get Sheila’s perspective, but we also follow the killer, Dusty Shame, who is compelled by a mysterious whisper in his sleep to target and slaughter innocents. The book starts, in fact, with him killing Sheila’s best friend and burying her in a cave in the desert. This makes three murders, and each time the whisper eases up, but for a briefer and briefer respite until it returns. He somehow figures that if he gets to six, he’ll be done and can rest.

Sheila is Dusty’s friend and chemistry lab partner, and they comment on her friend missing class and how unusual that is, but she’s got another, bigger, problem. Namely, her boyfriend Matt thinks they should break up. And like, come the fuck on, but OK, Sheila doesn’t know the story yet, I’ll give her a pass. But she engineers “bumping into him” in the parking lot, and as they talk she gets so overwhelmed that he agrees to drive her home. Instead, though, she has him drive to her friend’s house, where they break in and find the card and call the cops. A detective immediately comes over, and even though he won’t say why it’s pretty obvious that the card is a clue connecting this house to other similar cases. He mentions two names that nobody recognizes, but Sheila is determined to help him crack the case. Pike’s kid detectives strike again!

Meanwhile Dusty already needs another victim. He uses an online service called Einstein (because Prodigy was already taken) to get close to innocent and inexperienced girls and track them down. He doesn’t mind talking to his mom about it — she’s got early-onset Alzheimer’s, and he’s pretty vague about his intentions, but it’s still creepy. The one he chooses for this particular night has let slip that her parents will be out late, so he sneaks into her house and nails the sleeping girl in the temple with a ballpeen hammer. Only the bedroom light flicks on and his actual target is standing in the doorway. He tackles her, but she bites him and shakes free, running for the door. He manages to stop her with words, and then stabs her in the heart with a switchblade which has appeared out of nowhere, and then scrams without cleaning up after himself because there was screaming and too much blood and he’ll get caught. Instead, he races as though compelled to an unmarked grave just outside an old cemetery, where he spends the night in pain and fear and terror.

Next morning, Sheila tracks down the parents of the first two girls, who let on about the Einstein membership. She calls the detective with this clue, and learns about the previous night’s murders. But the detective wants to know more about how the service works, and Sheila remembers that Dusty is a big time user, so she enlists his help to talk to the officer. They go to his house and meet his 14-year-old daughter, an innocent if there ever was one. Dusty hangs out with her while Sheila and the detective talk about an old case on the books with a similar MO: young girls missing from their beds with a swastika card on their pillow, six in all, just after the war. He wants her to talk to the detective who was on that case, because he had some mystical feelings about it and she might have a more open mind and get him to talk more freely than the modern police. But he dissuades her from taking Dusty, because he is sad and shy and might preempt the old detective from saying certain things.

So she takes Matt instead. And, yeah, the detective might get mad, but it’s probably a good idea to have a friend you trust when you’re an 18-year-old girl driving an hour and a half to meet someone new. What the hell, 1993. The detective is a WWII vet who actually met Heinrich Himmler and his (invented for this story) mistress Olga Scheimer. He tells this whole history of their rising through the ranks and manipulating power to be cruel, and how they reveled in the capture and death of innocents. The rationale, he says, is that they’ve opened themselves to evil and now only exist as empty vessels for the ills of whatever supernatural terror to act through. And, like, I appreciate the need to tap into something beyond the mundane for the teen horror book market, but like I said up top, this does something to undersell how horrible it can be when a group of human beings devalues another group so completely as to decide they should be exterminated. As though instead of a policy handed down and agreed to by so many involved, it was the subliminal efforts of one devil.

But anyway, the old detective encounters them only at the end of the war, when they’ve been captured by the Allies and are up for interrogation. Scheimer catches his eye and suddenly he wants to have her, kill the other guards and take her away, kind of like another evil vessel we’ve met before. But he prays for good and the urge desists, upon which Himmler kills himself with cyanide. And because he’s dead and she wasn’t officially affiliated with the power structure, the military lets her go so that she can safely take care of her daughter. Upon which she moves to Los Angeles.

A year later there are mysterious disappearances and swastika cards, and yet Old Detective is the only one who makes the connection. Maybe because he was the only American in the room when she was captured, coincidentally. He goes to talk to her, they shoot the shit, but he never formally accuses her of anything because they both know he has no evidence. At least not until she pulls a knife and tries to kill him in front of her toddler, which gives him no choice but to shoot her. He takes the kid home with him and tries to give her a normal life, but as soon as it’s learned that he shot her mom, he loses his job and social services or whatever it was in the 1940s takes the kid away. He was able to track her as far as an adoptive family, but after the dad killed the mom and then himself, she disappeared. Old Detective assumes that she changed her name to dissociate herself from the shame of her sordid background.

And as soon as he says the word, it all clicks into place for Sheila. She knows she has to find Dusty and she has to do it fast, so she jumps in her car and totally bails on Matt and Old Detective. And she thinks she knows who the next victim will be, and that it’s going to be tonight, so she doesn’t go right to Dusty’s house.

Young Mr. Shame is, in fact, hearing the whispers again already, in dreams of a cockroach who threatens to bite off his ear. It’s real enough to wake him — to find his actual mom biting his actual ear. He knocks her off and pins her down, smothering her with a pillow for a moment, before realizing what he’s doing. So instead of his mom, he needs to find an innocent, and he knows just where she lives already. The detective’s daughter is so psyched to be going out with a high school senior that she doesn’t notice the blood on his ear and hand. She doesn’t notice when they get on the freeway, or when they head toward the desert. In fact, she doesn’t notice much until he essentially flat-out says he’s going to kill her. Lucky for her, Sheila is already on their tail.

They end up at the desert cave, and Sheila gets Dusty to pause long enough to hear about his problem with the voices, including the cockroach who bit his ear and it tying to his mom. She’s actually met his mom, and realizes that the evil has another empty vessel to speak through — after all, Dusty only hears the whisper at home in his bed. She tells him about his grandmother, and tries to help him shake off the darkness that’s taking him over. But he doesn’t want to hear it. He just wants six. So she talks him into swapping her out for the detective’s daughter.

Before he can pull the trigger, Matt and Old Detective show up. They’ve gone to Dusty’s house and found his mother dead in his bed ... guess he was a little too vigorous beating her back. The live-in help isn’t surprised: she’s known Dusty is a bad seed for a while and has actually followed him to the cave in the desert, and is able to guide the others to it. Their arrival really only buys a few minutes, but it’s enough for Sheila to convince Dusty that she actually does care about him, that she wants him to find some help and get good again. And that — the simple validation of care, of having a friend — is what Dusty needs to apologize for his misdeeds and then shoot himself in the head, thus ending the cycle of the wicked heart and the empty vessel.

I have to admit that the book wasn’t as disturbing as I remembered it being. But I think maybe I misremembered the gore of the murders. Today it’s disturbing for a whole new reason. Like, remember when Nazis were bad? Now they’re coming out of the woodwork again, and I have to read this shit that says maybe they only did evil because they were possessed? Fuck you, The Wicked Heart.

[lonelypond]

Kissing The Kurosawas, A Christmas Tale

Love Live/Love Live Sunshine, NicoMaki main pair, 4.5K. The premise is that Super Idol Nico and her Doctor Maki have escaped Tokyo and the paparazzi to raise their two daughters, Dia and Ruby, in private. Characters not mine, liberties taken are and your mileage may vary. Enjoy!

Next up in the Idol Protection Program: Super Idol Nico Ni is back for a Christmas concert and her Santa-san fan wife isn't happy. Also, Yoshiko and Hanamaru have to make up for something they didn't do last year.

It’s not that Dia missed this exactly, she thought, it’s just that university life was strangely quiet. Even when her louder acquaintances partied or quarrelled, they never achieved quite the level of practiced volume her mothers did. She put down the sheet music she was reviewing to smile at Ruby, who glanced up from the holiday novel she was already halfway through. This, Dia had missed, someone who knew what she was feeling with a glance.

“Are you really mad at me, Maki-chan, for agreeing to the charity event at your family’s hospital that YOU asked your mother to invite me to headline?” Sometimes, on a quiet night, Dia thought she could hear her mom’s voice penetrating through walls in Tokyo. Ruby winced. Dia laughed, knowing her mama probably had the exact same expression.

There was a mumble. And then a typical Kurosawa nee Yazawa Nico reply, “Yes, Maki-chan, Nico knows it’s on Christmas Eve, Nico knew that when YOUR mother asked her to do it as a particular favor to the family. Nico thought Maki would be in the front row, cheering for her favorite Idol.”

 Maki mostly ignored Nico’s rant. “Santa-san always comes to the mountains, Nico-chan. Not Tokyo.” Pause, and then Maki, sounding furtive, “R...R...Ruby and Dia are looking forward it.”

 Dia resisted the urge to roll her eyes, as Ruby was watching her closely, worried. Nico snorted, “Santa-san always found Nico in Tokyo.”

 “When Nico-chan made the Nice list.” Maki baited an opponent she knew too well.

“Nico is ALWAYS on the nice list. It’s practically in Nico’s name.” Dia could imagine her shorter Mom’s arms flailing to both sides as her Mama drew herself up to her full height, hands on her hips, amethyst eyes sparkling.

 “Santa-san hasn’t asked me yet.” Maki sounded like she stamped her foot.

 Nico made an exasperated noise that sounded like chipmunks were wrestling in her throat, “Really, Maki-chan. You want Nico to cancel the concert? That’ll get Nico on Santa-san’s good list?”

 “Uu...uh...ummm.” Maki stumbled over a string of letters.

“Didn’t think that through, did you, Maki-chan?” Nico’s voice had gotten sharper.

More mumbling noises, then a shouted, “That’s not fair, Nico-chan”, the sound of a screen sliding as Maki left the room and Nico’s knees thumping to land on a pillow.  Ruby looked really worried. Dia reached across the table to pat her sister on the head, “Don’t worry. Mom always takes care of it.”  Both girls heard the sound of their mom getting up with a sigh and sliding the screen open to follow her wife.

“Maki-chan…” Nico’s voice was gentle.

“So how’s school going, Ruby?” Dia decided to change the subject. There was something she was curious about anyway.

Ruby looked like she was thinking very hard, “I’ve been studying for university entrance exams and trying to decide where to go.”

“It’s a hard choice.” Dia nodded, remembering her own concern when confronted with choosing a college.

“M...Mom said I could take a year off and work in Kotori-san’s design studio if I wanted.” Ruby sighed and put her book down.

“What did Mama say?” Dia wondered. Maki had always found school easy, at least until medical school collided with the height of Nico’s Idol’s career.

Ruby frowned, “She said Kotori would be a good teacher, if I wasn’t sure about what to do next.”

Dia hesitated for a moment, “How are Hanamaru-chan and Y...Yoshiko-chan?”

Ruby dropped her book, startled. She'd been trying not to think about how much time her best friends had been spending together. “Aren’t you helping them with traditional music for their visual novels?”

“I was.” Dia fidgeted, glancing out the window, “I got busy.”

“Oh,” Ruby brightened, “Hanamaru seems busy but happy and Yohane has a crowd of little demons following her everywhere after their latest historical horror adventure. She gets worn out from the attention every week or so.” Ruby giggled.

Dia had a vivid image of Yoshiko swooning, dark hair spread out around her, collapsed against a railing as the sea stormed in. She shook her head. Too imaginative. Amazing how vividly she could still hear Yoshiko’s voice, even though they hadn’t had a non text conversation in months. Maybe it was time to have that talk with her Mom.

 LATER THAT AFTERNOON

“Mom?” Dia sounded suspiciously like she did when she was a young teen, surprising Nico who was used to an eldest daughter proud of her nearing twenty and official adulthood status. Had she been upset by Maki and Nico’s ‘discussion’ of their Christmas plans? Maybe being away had sensitized her again to her parents’ emotional swings. They were less frequent now, after 30 years together, but still happened.

“What is it, Dia?” Nico turned away from her makeup mirror, where she’d been taking inventory while Maki worked out her mood.

Dia slid into the bench, next to Nico and started fidgeting with bottles and brushes, “Can I ask you a question about you and Mama?”

Nico put everything down and focused on her daughter. That question was even more unusual for Dia.

“Go ahead.” Nico took Dia’s hand, “If I can answer, I will.”

“W...when” Dia blushed, looking away, “did you know Mama was old enough to…” Nico stared, hoping this was a milder version of the question it could be. “d...date?”

Nico relaxed, just a little. Dia had casually dated when she went off to college, but no one she ever wanted to bring home. Nico and Maki had thought she might just be testing the process, figuring things out. Ruby had met one of the girls but been very quiet about it afterwards. Mari teased Dia mercilessly every time Nico saw them together but Dia just shrugged it off, seemingly unaffected.

“When she asked me.” Nico laughed.

“Mama asked you?” Nico sighed, “Not exactly.” She and Maki had never really talked about the initial stages of dating with either of their daughters. Both Nico and Maki were still a little embarrassed by how acrimonious it had gotten. Ruby and Dia had always been more interested in stories about Muse and Nico’s Idol adventures anyway.

“Mom?” Dia’s bright green eyes, sweet reminders of Nico’s father, were full of worry.

“We never told you the full story, did we?” Nico shook her head, clearing it of memories, and put an arm around her daughter. “Your mama and I used to fight a lot when we first met. Well, Nico used to snap at everyone and your mama was terrible at admitting her true feelings so she would insult Nico. But we kept talking to each other, and trying and finding things we really liked about each other and then one day…” Nico’s smile widened at the rapturous memory of her first kiss and her only lover, “after rehearsal, when everyone else had left, your Mama kept staring at me and telling me the most boring, technical things about music, impossible for Nico to understand and I wasn’t really paying attention anyway, because her voice was so…” Nico got caught up in the memory for a moment, until her daughter nudged her. Nico blushed and continued, “And then, suddenly, she was kissing me.”

“So you didn’t think of her as your junior?” Dia rolled over Nico’s treasured memories with pragmatism. Children were never on the side of romance, Nico had learned.

“Your Mama made a very convincing case against it.” Nico chuckled, “And here we are, thirty years later.” Nico squeezed her daughter, “And I’m so grateful your mama is the stubbornest, cutest person ever.”

“What did I do?” Maki leaned in the doorway, camera in her hand, still bright hair damp from snowflakes and slicked back. She raised the camera and snapped a few shots of wife and daughter, “Beautiful.”

Nico snorted, “You kissed me, showing a complete lack of respect for me as your senior.”

Maki laughed, tossed her camera on the bed and took Nico’s face in her hands, “Every day I can.”

Nico met Maki’s lips, still feeling the flip in her stomach, the nervous excitement, the warmth. Plus, 30 years of more advanced...Nico pulled herself away, remembering the daughter in the room.

“Dia seems to need some dating advice,” Nico chirped.

Maki frowned, she still wasn’t over Ruby’s bad breakup with the younger half of St. Snow more than a year ago.

“Calm down, Maki-chan. The girls get to date now; they’re adults. It’s a good thing.” Nico hugged Dia again. She’d missed her Thursday night makeup bench talks with Dia so Nico would take any time she could get.

Nico saw the tears start in amethyst eyes and knew Maki was seeing Dia as a nearly 3 year old, toddling toward them with open arms on the day they brought Ruby home, saying she would always live with them and take care of Ruby.  

“Oh, Maki-chan!” Nico stood up so she could pull the crying goof as close as possible. Too many emotions for the redhead in one day, “This is a good thing.”

Maki sniffled, as Nico looked over her shoulder at her daughter, mouthed “she’s such a baby, " patting Maki consolingly as Dia giggled.

“So who is this?” Nico asked, once she got Maki to sit on the bed.

“I..I’d rather not say...I’m not sure it…”Dia’s eyes were downcast, her hands closed.

Maki glanced at Nico, who stood, “All right, my darling daughter, the best advice I can give you is to talk to this person. Talk about anything,” she winked at Maki. “And listen. That’s important. They might give you a clue to their feelings. Your mama used to, when she got jealous of Nico’s future adoring fans.”

Maki snarled playfully and pulled Nico back, “My Nico-chan.”

“Always.” Nico grinned broadly, glad when Maki’s possessiveness was more playful than serious.

“Thanks.” Dia stood. She recognized the mood building between her mothers and wanted to leave them alone. “Ruby and I are meeting Kanan and Mari for dinner.”

“Have fun.” Maki waved, her eyes on Nico.

Dia nodded.  Maki waited until she heard Dia and Ruby talking before quizzing Nico, “Do you know who?”

Nico’s ruby eyes twinkled, “If it’s not someone at school, I have a suspicion.” “Who?” Maki nudged Nico,

Nico raised a finger to her pursed lips, “An Idol never tells.”

 Maki pulled Nico closer, “I can be persuasive.” Nico’s fingers traced the curve of Maki’s cheek, “Show Nico.” Maki did.

 LATER THAT WEEK

Yoshiko stormed through the temple yard, black cloak swooping dramatically around her.

“There was supposed to be a party last week. With people.” She paused her rant, glaring at Hanamaru, “Yohane was going to sweep in, leave the crowd breathless and take the fair maiden off…for...you know.”

Hanamaru smiled at her oldest friend, “A kiss...or a confession?”

“A k...kiss.” Yohane slid smoothly past her verbal stumble, “After all, who wouldn’t want to be kissed by a beautiful fallen angel.”

“Then it should be easy.” Hanamaru swept her arm out, mimicking Yohane’s grand gestures, “You’ve kissed everyone else in Aquors.” Yoshiko curled up, dropping to the ground, then a tantrum burst out and she rose, voice a whine, “This is different, Zuramaru. This is serious.”

“Riko took you seriously.” Hanamaru giggled, “For a minute.”

“What about you, Zuramaru?” Yohane brandished an accusatory finger, “We promised last Christmas wouldn’t happen again. You have to tell Ruby you want to date date.”

“It can wait, zura.” Hanamaru tugged Yoshiko’s beret down over her eyes.

“No it can’t. That’s what we said after last year’s Christmas party,” Yoshiko threw both arms up in the air, “And…” “Here we are again..." Hanamaru continued with a sigh.

“Exactly.” Yoshiko's arms dropped.

Hanamaru shivered. It had been a long day, “Let’s go inside and have some tea, Yoshiko.”

Yoshiko gathered her cloak tightly around her before following her friend, muttering, “Who has parents who are too busy to throw their annual party. Parents should just stay home.”

THE AFTERNOON BEFORE THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Nico had completely rearranged everything, visited every patient in the damn hospital in the morning, performed the most cheering, comforting collection of holiday songs a now retired universally beloved Idol ever had and handed off to A-Rise, who were doing her a favor by finishing off the concert Nico had gotten moved to an earlier time.

Maki would be so thrilled when Nico arrived at the Nishikino house. Christmas Eve was preserved. Nico knew Maki thought she missed performing and so had convinced her mother to arrange this, but neither of them had looked forward to a Christmas Eve dedicated to other people. Nico had had too many of those in the early years of their relationship and honestly, she was done.

Opening the door to the Nishikino mansion, Nico was surprised at the silence and the darkness. Then she found the note, in the kitchen: “Nico-chan.Took the girls to the mountains. Know I’ll see you soon. Love, Maki”

“Know I’ll see you soon.” Nico stared at the note, no words coming to mind. What was Maki thinking? Sure Nico had promised last year that they’d spend Christmas to the New Year in the mountains, but then their December had exploded with family and business commitments. Darn stubborn redhead, probably thought Santa-san would deliver Nico in her stocking...Nico groaned, surely not. And even if, surely Dia could have talked her out of it. There was at least one other mostly sensible person in the Kurosawa household, Nico knew. Red hair seemed to indicate susceptibility to...sentiment. Nico got a vivid image of her wife, at 15, distressed, in front of the fireplace, usually glowing amethyst eyes dampened by doubts…was Nico ALWAYS going to be haunted by that momentary near lapse of conscience.

Uuuughhh. What was Nico supposed to do. She laughed harshly, when exactly would Santa’s sleigh arrive?

Nico heard a car horn playing a death metal version of 'Carol of The Bells' and headed back to the front door. A sleek black sportscar with feathery paint swooping along the sides pulled up outside of the mansion. Nico recognized it. Yoshiko had been doing well enough with her games and Fallen Angel channel that she’d bought herself a “Fallen Angel Mobile” on her 18th birthday. Ruby had spent several days detailing all its details so Nico practically had the interior memorized. Nico opened the security gate and Yoshiko pulled into the driveway .

“Hello, Santa Satan. And you brought an elf.” Nico smiled as Yoshiko parked the car in front of her. The pale girl looked confused as she got out of the car and turned to Hanamaru for help. Hanamaru had been Nico’s beta reader for so long that Nico had lost her intimidation factor.

“We’re here to see Ruby and Dia, Nico-san.” Hanamaru announced, her bright red and green reindeer covered holiday sweater a gift from Ruby last year. Yoshiko had opted for a red trimmed black sweater, with black skirt scattered with holly leaves.

“I’d like to see them too.” Nico stated, with a wry laugh, “but there’s a slight, stubborn obstacle in the way.”

“Yohane will leap over it.” Yohane announced, arms swinging wide “All obstacles are but a minor hurdle to a Fallen Angel as powerful as I.”

“Be careful what you say about my wife.” Nico frowned, Yoshiko’s bluster collapsed. “And give me your keys, O Fallen One.” Nico let her voice take on a command tone, “I, the great Nico Ni, have a mission that only you can help me complete.” Yoshiko handed over her car keys after Nico locked the side door, purple eyes wide, “What is it, Kurosawa-sama?”

“Bringing Christmas presents to some very pretty girls I know.” Nico’s glance at Yoshiko was speculative and the fallen angel blushed, “Thought so.” Then Nico turned to Hanamaru, “Practice what you’re going to say in your head, Hanamaru. Ruby got so confused last year.” Hanamaru gulped and nodded.  

“I’m driving.” Nico announced with a flourish, tossing her overnight bag into the back seat and tilting her Santa hat to the properly impish angle, “How fast does this beast go?”

Yoshiko’s heart was beating so loud she didn’t hear Nico’s question as she crawled into the back seat. Hanamaru had started muttering to herself. And Nico synched her iPod to the car sound system and let the holiday songs blare. “Ruby told me you had a great sound system.” Kurosawa-sama was giving her points for the car, right, Yoshiko thought to herself, surely since she was helping out Dia’s mom in this hour of desperate holiday need, Kurosawa-sama would look kindly on her as a suitor of her eldest daughter and forget all about that stupid bet three years ago. Had Dia forgotten? “Since Nico is stealing your car for the holidays, you can call me Nico, Yoshiko.”   “Thank you, ma’am.” Yoshiko bleated. Nico’s laugh roared with the car engine.

 LATER THAT EVENING

Her mama had a look Dia had come to recognize, furtive and guilty, like Ruby when she’d stolen an extra dessert. Maki only ever got that look when she’d done something that was going to upset Nico, something she knew was wrong, but couldn’t stop herself from doing.

Dia tried to hand Maki a mug of mocha, “Here you go, Mama. Is Mom ready for her concert?”

Maki pulled her legs up onto the couch and sunk her chin into them, “She isn’t answering her phone.”  Dia put the mug on the table. “Where’s Ruby?”

“Wrapping presents.” Dia sat next to her mama, deciding to cheer her up. “It’s nice being in the mountains again.”

Maki nodded, “We always have Christmas here...Nico hated missing them…”

“Where are Grandma and Grandpa?”

“New York. An old friend invited them for the holidays and they didn’t want to refuse.” Maki smiled, her parents enjoyed any chance to revisit one of their favorite cities. Maki would have to talk Nico into going back when Ruby got to college...or joined Kotori’s firm, “The Yazawas will be here after Boxing Day, all of them.”

“Is Auntie Cocoro taking time off from the hospital?” Dia was surprised. Cocoro never took a vacation day.

“Yes, we all haven’t been together for too long,” And as Maki heard herself saying that, her mood drooped again.

“Cheer up, Mama. Mom hates when you don’t smile.” “She’s probably mad at me.” Maki admitted, unwinding enough to pick up and sip her mocha.

 “She always forgives you.” Dia pointed out, her own mug warm between her hands.

 Maki turned to look at her daughter, “You are becoming a grown up. Your mom and I are so proud of you.”

Dia nodded, face immobile. She didn’t inherit Maki’s tendency to blush, but she had made a study of every emotion covering trick Nico had ever exhibited. Maki hugged her anyway, until Dia’s facade broke down with a giggle, “Mama.”

“hohOHO!” A huge bellow, more than one voice, rang through the house as the back door opened with a bang. “We have arrived!”

Maki jumped off the couch, Dia following her and both ran for the kitchen. There were three figures, two in red hats, one in a green, stamping the snow off their boots. Nico, a gleam in her ruby eyes, hopped right to Maki, sliding an arm around her wife’s waist, using the other hand to drop her Santa hat over Maki’s red curls, “Merry Christmas Eve to my favorite wife.” And Nico kissed her resoundingly, then turned to the other two arrivals, “And that’s how it’s done, apprentices.”

Yoshiko paled and looked like she was about to bolt back out the door. Dia swallowed back a laugh at her visitor’s discomfort and tried to ignore how her heart started beating a little faster as Yoshiko pushed her red Santa hat back over her ebon tresses and glanced around the kitchen, nervously.  Hanamaru fidgeted with the hem of her oversized sweater.

“W...what...how...w..what about your concert?” Maki sputtered, eyes only for Nico, hands caressing her chilled cheeks.

“I decided to bring Christmas presents to my favorite girls instead.” Nico smirked, pulling Maki through the kitchen door, “Where’s Ruby?”

Dia was watching Yoshiko not look her in the eye and answered automatically, “Upstairs.” “You heard her Hanamaru.” Nico waved at the younger girl, “She’s probably wrapping your present.”

“You’re impossible,” Maki whispered as Nico pulled her through the house like a blizzard wind.

Nico pushed Maki onto the couch, falling with her and shaking her head before kissing Maki again, “As impossible as someone who takes my daughters and my car into the mountains and expects Santa-san to get me there somehow.”

“How did you…” Maki was still surprised by all the rabbits Nico managed to pull out of her various hats over the years. Nico shook her head, finger on her lips, “Santa-san made Nico promise not to tell.” “Nico-chan.” Maki pulled her wife into a hug.

 "That’s good. Hug Nico more. Nico is freezing. Ruby lied about the Fallen Angel Mobile’s heated seats.”

 “I’m sorry, Nico-chan.” Maki muttered into her wife’s hair.

 “I love you, Maki-chan.”

 Hanamaru knocked on the door to the library, where Ruby looked happy, wrapping presents, surrounded by shelves of books. But while Ruby might have expected Hanamaru to begin inventorying the books, her fair haired friend sat next to her on the couch, holding out a book in her hands.

“Merry Christmas, Ruby.” Hanamaru smiled, Ruby was wearing the match of her own holiday sweater, but with green leggings instead of white. Hanamaru wondered if there was going to be another set of matching sweaters under the Christmas tree this year. She hoped so. “This is for you.” Ruby took the book from Hanamaru and opened the pages. It was a scrapbook, full of pictures from their years together at school, their school Idol adventures and all the trips they’d taken together. She glanced over at a smiling Hanamaru in between pages as the other girl scooted closer.  Only about half the book was full. On the page after this year’s Halloween shenanigans with Yoshiko, a blank frame was pasted, with the words “Our First Christmas As A Couple” written in careful calligraphy underneath. Ruby squealed, her face immediately as red as her hair, “You’re not dating Yosh…” “NO, zura.” Hanamaru practically shouted as she took Ruby’s hand, "Ruby is too cute."

Ruby pulled Hanamaru into an embrace, “I’m so glad.”

“I love you, Ruby-chan.” Hanamaru whispered into Ruby’s ear.  Ruby ducked her head into Hanamaru’s shoulder, suddenly shy. Hanamaru felt her heart soar with a joy she’d read about in poems and heard in the notes of symphonies. And now she felt it as Ruby trembled in her arms. “Amazing, zura.”

 “Hi.” Yoshiko said for the third time, pawing at the ground with a boot, something like a filly. Dia realized the younger girl still had that air, that she’d noticed from the very start, of wild energy ready to bolt away at the first startle.

“Merry Christmas Eve.” Dia decided holiday formalities were a saving grace in awkward moments like this.

A spark flared in Yoshiko’s purple eyes and her lips curved into the prettiest smile Dia had ever seen, “Yohane has fallen from…” the angel faltered as she looked to Dia for a reaction, but when she only saw interest, picked up again, “from the North Pole to bring her favorite little demon a present.” Yohane swept forward, hand reaching into her bag, pulling out what looked like an elf hat with...demon horns, Dia  snorted. Yoshiko looked askance, and in a moment of doubt, tripped over the corner of the island, and stumbled forward, her arms pinwheeling as she half fell into Dia, forcing them both back into the doorway.

The green in Dia’s green eyes shone mischievously as she found herself with an armful of actual fallen angel.

“S...sorry.” Yoshiko muttered, trying to pull back, “I always have the worst luck.” Yoshiko glanced up, “You can let me go now, Dia. I won’t fall.”

“No,” Dia hummed, her lips pursed thoughtfully as Yoshiko struggled to free herself, “I don’t think I want to.”

“W...what...w...why?” Yoshiko spluttered as Dia’s grip fell to her waist.

Dia glanced up at the mistletoe over her head, “Rumor has it…” “You mean Mari.” Yoshiko slid a hand over the dark green silk of Dia’s turtleneck, almost bold. Dia grinned. It was a charming smile, surprisingly mischievous.

“Rumor has it,” Dia continued with a wink, “You have kissed every other member of Aquors. Was it mere misfortune that you missed me?” Yoshiko could feel Dia shivering a little under her hand and found herself fascinated by how the feeling travelled with her movements, “Ruby might have threatened me.”

“Ah,” Dia sounded genuinely amused, “Your ill luck then, having missed out on such an opportunity because of  friendship.”

Yoshiko couldn’t look away from the depths of Dia’s eyes “My friends are important.”

 Dia nodded, “So is my sister. But, Yohane” Dia let her voice drop to a near purr, “I think your luck is about to change.”

Yoshiko wasn’t sure if her heart or her lips exploded first, the first from Dia’s voice whispering the name Yohane had chosen for herself, the second from the firm brush of the lips she’d been dreaming about across hers. A change of luck indeed.

 “I’ll have to remember to thank Santa-san.” Maki sat up, sheets wrapped around her.

“Thank Nico too. I had to practically steal an 18 year old’s car to get here.” Nico bounced back up to where her wife was sitting against the headboard.

“Nico-chan! How fast did you drive? There were children in the car.” Maki glared at Nico.

“There are children downstairs. And yet here we are.”

“You n..needed help changing into warmer clothes.” Maki quirked an eyebrow, somewhat bravely, Nico rolled her eyes.

“Don’t we have other things to talk about?” Nico traced a curvy line up her wife’s arm as the redhead clutched a sheet to her torso.

“Dinner, Nico-chan. We have to talk about dinner. We can’t leave them unsupervised all night.” Maki felt her resolve wavering as Nico’s fingers danced up to her ear.

“They might as well get used to Christmas Kurosawa style.” Nico’s lips followed her fingers, “There’s always frozen pizzas stocked if they get hungry.” “Nico-chan…” but Maki’s voice made it more whimper than complaint and Nico knew the argument was won. It had been a long drive; she wasn’t ready to get out of bed.

Dinner had been frozen pizza, although Nico had promised everyone a Christmas morning breakfast to make up for it. Maki was playing carols on the piano, Nico next to her, Ruby and Hanamaru singing along, hand in hand. Yoshiko and Dia were sitting near the Christmas tree, Dia’s arm around the younger girl, Yoshiko leaning into Dia’s side and showing Dia on her phone a few of the neater tricks she and Hanamaru were putting into their latest game, a silly one, full of kittens and umbrellas, which they planned to use as a fundraiser for groups that cared for animals.

Santa-san had done well this year, Maki thought with a smile, her eyes settling on Nico, as he had every year since she’d met the Number One Idol In The Universe. With or without a sleigh or nearly stolen car, it always proved quite the ride.

A/N This has been brewing on my legal pad for weeks now so I decided to finish it before I get to watch the beginning of the second season of Love Live Sunshine and something ruins this particular shipping scenario for me. It was a close race between these and a few others that have an interesting dynamic but I found myself really amused by the thought of Hanamaru and Yoshiko trying to cheer each other on as they attempt to court the Kurosawa sisters.Why yes, it is a bit of a silly stretch in parts. Which is the whole point of these.Enjoy (∩｀-´)⊃━✿✿✿✿✿✿

[ramblesofadreamerofthestars]

Therapy? In The Final Season of  The 100??

It’s more likely then any of us ever thought??????

Spoilers of course for the 100 7.07

Dr. Eric Jackson said “is anyone going to treat Literally Everyone for the trauma we go through” and had to wait seven seasons before giving up and doing it himself. I fucking love him and I Adore that Madi is getting therapy and that they are CONFRONTING WHAT HAPPENED TO A LITERAL CHILD. Jax read one (1) psychology book and decided he was now a licensed therapist and you know what? good for him. 

Someone....let me at Madi’s wardrobe. Babe looks like she rolled up fresh out of Amity from the Divergent movies and like...killing it but What was the inspiration. I am So Happy she gets to play soccer and have therapy sessions and just be a regular kid for what is apparently, the first time in her entire life. I Miss her and Clarke and i wish Clarke was here to see Madi starting to flourish because that dynamic has been pushed So Far to the side this season and I just miss them. I Love that they finally addressed how fucked up it was putting the flame in Madi’s head i seriously love love love it. yes it was necessary but it was also extremely traumatic and not something a child should have to go through and I’m so happy they talked about it (for at least a moment anyway)

Lindsey Morgan and her team said You get to deal with trauma, and you get to deal with trauma, and you - . No but for real, I was pleasantly surprised with the things that got addressed this episode- The flame, Octavia beating up Bellamy, the beginning of Becho. Not as good as Bardo lore but we take what we can get.

(Also shout out to Ms. Morgan for an incredible directorial debut, what a talented queen) 

I Loved Octavia saying outright how fucked up it was that she beat up her brother It’s been 84 years too many seasons of waiting for it, her growth this season? Incredible. That being said, literally What The Fuck was that comforting scene between her and Echo I’m. “You’re my family too” bitch Where. I understand Octavia trying to comfort someone she knows her brother cares for, and I know that Octavia saw how lost and angry Echo was, and this is just my own thoughts but probably recognized something in Echo that was reminiscent of her when she lost Lincoln, at least in her eyes, but it came out of no where?? These two have Never had a good relationship and while part of it is obviously Octavia’s growth the scene felt a little stilted. 

So. Echo. First thing right off the bat (as always, this should literally be the expectation but for the people in the back) THE ACTORS ARE NOT THEIR CHARACTERS, THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE, AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GODS LEARN TO SEPARATE THE TWO. I have so much respect for all the actors and crew who are trying their absolute best and making this show something I look forward to watching.

I had Such high hopes for Echo. And honestly the tiny little rat part of my brain that never lets things go still wants to hope for a satisfying end to the spy’s story. I Want her to reach a point where she can look at herself with clear eyes, and come through to the other side. I Want her to have happy ending where she understands that though loyalty is admirable, there has to be more in your life, that you cannot dedicate yourself to one person entirely. The realistic part of my brain that has watched this fucking show for years knows better. Tasya Teles is doing an excellent job of Echo’s continuing downward spiral, 10/10 choices. But all the lighting and framing and crazy intense gaze do Not bode well for Echo’s sanity and her carving the Azgeda marks into her face was I think the point of “no return”. Which makes me sad, to see this end for the character, but it is a path I can see Echo going down, as much as it sucks.

“We got shaved Bellamy but at what cost” makes me cackle but honestly, I liked the Ring flashback. Setting aside how late it is to be Doing ring flashbacks, I think it was a Very interesting look at Becho. Echo on the ring is so cute sorry not sorry, like I Love seeing that girl happy. Her and Bellamy’s little banter reminded me of their earliest dynamic which I enjoyed seeing because I do think those characters have an interesting relationship. Also, Bellamy using his own experiences of the dangers of blind loyalty to try and help Echo, love to see it but her “it’s not real” right before he kissed her...the implications. They knew what they were doing and I think it was a needed perspective into their relationship because we have barely anything except for people saying things about it which is Not The Same Thing.

Moving On! HOLY SHIT Y’ALL HOPE AND DIYOZA I FUCKING LOVE THEM THE ACTRESSES WERE INCREDIBLE, THE DYNAMIC WAS AMAZING, BEST STORYLINE OF THE  EPISODE BY FAR. I seriously just Loved watching their scenes, their relationship is So Good and I loved them trying to figure out the new dynamics they have to work through and the way they don’t really know how to act around each other in the beginning but at their core they’re still mother and daughter and Hope’s broken “they took my mommy” almost had me in tears seriously These Two Y’all. 

Hope thinks of Dev as her father...I’m soft :’)

I’m tired of Nikki. That’s literally all I want to say about her this episode like I’m so tired of the Sanctum storylines and I just do Not care about her little revenge plot. Nelson joining her side is stupid but he was in a very emotional place at the moment so I Guess. 

Emori tried So Hard to make things better on Sanctum and I want to give her all the things it’s what she deserves what a queen. (Luisa d’Oliveira an actual goddess I’m so happy she got a chance to shine this episode). Memori consistently being cute and domestic af love that for them, seriously these two fit so well together “ besides, you’ve been worshiping me for years” when I tell y’all I screamed. Also I’m not like, super convinced about the Emori is pregnant theory and don’t really know how I feel about it but “maybe it’s the palace life giving you that glow” was a...weird choice of words. 

Sheihedea shut up forever challenge. Seriously why does anyone let him speak?? The bitch is so dramatic when he starts going on his “I can give you want you want” speech just walk away from him?? Like what’s the bitch going to do start yelling after you?? And let everyone know how desperate he is to get people on his side and also that he only has one real strategy of getting people on his side?? I think the fuck not. Honestly though, he has one (1) method of getting people on his side and it’s psychoanalyzing them while they play chess which goes on ForEVER btw (like this post w h o o p s) i’m so tired of him. Murphy calling him on his misogyny was certainly a highlight of the episode though, good for him.

And Finally, that ending though. Wow I’m super shocked that the shepard is Bill Cadogan. What a surprise. Never saw it coming. I thin the ‘plot twist’ still worked ish mostly because everyone fucking forgot about his existence but idk it was what I expected and I just Don’t Care? You have crystal giants outside and you want me to care about some musty ass white man who’s been in the freezer for thousands of years?  

I genuinely thought (because I’m a dumbass) for half a second that the old dude in the freezer coffin was Bellamy because I though Anders was going to do some dramatic reveal of where he was stashing our king and the rage I felt in that split second when I thought they really had the audacity to do that. But no it was just Another Plot we get to explore :)))))

ALRIGHT CLOWNS YOU MADE IT TO THE END SO. HOW ABOUT THAT BELLARKE CRUMB WE GOT. Can’t believe I Still can’t retire my clown makeup, please just Give Them A Break. Ms. Morgan really did that though, the framing close up of Clarke, the Bellarke theme in the background, all the other characters looking right at Clarke as she breaks on the inside ( and holy shit kudos to Ms. Eliza Jane for that scene, the sheer heartbreak and almost feral desperation in one expression was Everything). I know I said I love parallel’s and who does parallels better then them but I feel like the “they do this every year” audio, just let them be together for more then Five minutes without some new crisis blease. 

Next episode will be a prequel (?) set up (?) which will be...interesting. Going to be real honest I don’t really care about the premise but Becca scenes are always a plus. More of the Diyoza women please, Clarke and Octavia deserve to have a (better) moment grieving over Bellamy together thanks, let Miller say more lines, and p l e a s e let Bellamy and Clarke be on screen together soon I miss them. 

Friendship ended with Gabriel now Levitt is my only friend

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

I’m struggling to remember an article by CBR which has been worse than this one. 

Let’s go through this point by point.

  “Peter Parker’s Spider-Man is one of the most famous and beloved superheroes of all time. He has had almost a billion movies (rough estimate) and more cartoons than Mickey Mouse. ”

  So first of all even if we were obviously recognizing this as not being intended literally it’s entirely disingenuous. There have been FIVE Spider-Man movies, the sixth one being this year. Excluding crossovers, movie serials or animated films there have been six Superman movies and eight Batman movies.

  I don’t see the allegations of ‘a billion movies’ directed at them though.

  “However, while we all love Spider-Man (after all, he does whatever a spider can and that includes release pheromones that make you helplessly devoted), we’re not quite sure this particular Spider-Man should be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.”

  I agree with the latter point but I’m going to place money that it’s not for the same reasons the article is going to list.

As for the former point that’s literally not part of Spider-Man’s powerset and never has been.

  “In fact, there’s an argument to be made that the movies would be a whole lot better if he just dropped dead and allowed a different Spider to take his place.”

  Yes there is an argument like that. It just happens to be idiotic and ill considered.

  “we firmly believe that Peter Parker’s Spider-Man should take a dirt nap right about now and let someone who hasn’t had three different franchise series into his big webbed tights. (Someone like Miles Morales, for instance.) Anyway, this one’s for YOU, true believers!”

  ‘We’? Who is this ‘we’?

  All of CBR?

  I doubt every staffer of CBR believes in this attitude.

  Or perhaps this is the royal we?

  Moving on...two.

  Spider-Man has had TWO different movie franchises to his name. The MCU version will be the third. But like I said Batman has had technically a minimum of 4. No one is complaining at least not as forcefully about him. In fact I notice nobody asking for Robert Downey Junior to shove off and allow Rhodey or somebody else become the new Iron Man even though Tony Stark has starred in 6 movies now and will continue to do so for at least 2 more. The same applies to Captain America who actually had 2 other movies before the MCU as well.

  So WHERE exactly is this rule of ‘Well look you’ve had X number of movie franchises that’s enough now’. Frankly given how Peter Parker is you know, Marvel’s mascot, the most profitable superhero ever, one of the three most famous comic book characters of all time, Stan Lee’s favourite character, and frankly THE BEST of all of Marvel’s iconic characters he is absolutely OWED more movies.

  Especially when you consider the Raimi and Webb movies didn’t get him right and screwed up various aspects of his history. Never have we seen the Death of Gwen Stacy done right. Never have we seen Mary Jane or Venom done right. Nor Green Goblin. And how about all those iconic Spider-Man stories which were landmarks in the comic book industry?

  The Master Planner Trilogy

  The Death of Jean DeWolff

  Nothing Can Stop the Juggernaut

    We’ve only had 5 Spider-Man movies and 1.5 of those retold material from the first 3. None of them went beyond Spider-Man’s college adventures when that is nowhere near the entirety of the character’s journey.

  But we want to throw him away for...a derivative version who whilst maybe good unto themselves is objectively not as original nor as actually layered as a character.

  Yes, this surely is ‘for us true beleivers’.

  And you know SOMEHOW I just knew I’d hear Miles’ name brought up. And brought up first. I do ever so wonder if literally ANY other Spider-Heroes will get a mention.

  Oh and learn to spell check will you. I’m not perfect but I don’t write for a professional website that pays me.

  Seriously

  “who hasn’t had three different franchise series into his big webbed tights.”

  This is laughably bad sentence construction. I don’t even know what I’m reading.

  15)

  “Let’s face it, there aren’t a ton of stories to tell about Spider-Man. His villains? Sure, but Spidey himself? He’s unlucky in love, his uncle dies, everyone he knows is actually a villain. That’s pretty much it. ”

  Okay so in these few sentences you’ve proven that

  a)   You don’t know anything about Spider-Man

b)   You are thereby unqualified to be writing this article about Spider-Man

c)   You are an idiot.

  And you see I know all this because nobody who does know anything about Spider-Man, who is thereby qualified to write an article like this about Spider-Man and isn’t an idiot would have ever written that.

  Because there are 50+ years of fucking stories across two ongoing universes which prove that you are wrong.

  Jesus Christ.

  There are a ton of stories to tell about Spider-Man’s villains more than Spider-Man? Yeah, because we all remember those plethora of stories about Electro, Scorpion, Shocker and Mysterio right?

  They’re soooooo interesting.

  Jackass most of Spider-Man’s villains are gimmick characters with cool costumes. Oh he has deep villains like Norman Osborn and Doc Ock and a few others. But Shocker shoots vibrations, Electro electrocutes things, the Rhino literally up until the 2009 was a rampaging brick. They are not Batman’s villains.  Some of them have layers but they are not the psychologist’s wet dream like Batman’s rogue’s gallery.

  You’d know that if you’d actually read much Spider-Man, which I’m betting you have not.

  Similarly you’d know there is much more to Spider-Man than you pathetically oversimplified things down to.

  He’s unlucky in love? Yeah because dating the teen secretary to a millionaire media mogul when you are in high school, having the most popular girl in school wanting to date you, dating the daughter of a respected police captain, a thrill seeking reforming cat burglar and actually marrying someone who’s not only very attractive to you, not only an actress/model but also has your back in a crisis is sooooooooo unlucky right? As is dating all those other people he’s been with.

  Everyone he knows is actually a villain? Yeah...no. Harry Osborn, Norman Osborn, Frederick Foswell, Felicia Hardy and arguably Jameson are more or less it. Nobody else he knows is actually a villain. Or do you know something about Aunt May and Mary Jane that we do not?

  And franlly...not a lot of stories to tell?

  Uh huh.

  The death of Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man vs. Wolverine, When Commeth the Commuter, the Wedding arc, the Death of Jean DeWolff, the Clone Saga, the Totem saga, the Master Planner Trilogy, Spider-Man No More, the Owl/Octopus War, the Alien Costume Saga and literally too many others for me to list disagree with you...and also call you an idiot who doesn’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

  “You can tell an origin story and a pretty good villain story, but after that you’re left treading water. What can you do next?”

  I dunno maybe you could examine the realistic pressures of living with the burden of being a superhero and have him decide to give up that burden only to reaffirm the lesson he had previously learned and then choose to risk it all for the sake of emotional fulfilment by being with the woman he loves?

  And then perhaps getting arrogant over his apparent successes and letting power go to his head corrupting him into something he isn’t until he reasserts who he truly should be and then has to deal with the ramifications of his actions in the manifested form of a dark reflection of himself?

  OR maybe you could have him learn that sometimes using his power to try and save people isn’t enough because someone he cares about dies inspite of his actions and then he has to go through a realistic human grieving process?

  I figure MAYBE those could be sound premises for movies other than his origin story.

  Maybe?

    “Well, you can kill him.”

  This is the laziest and most unimaginative idea for a Spider-Man movie I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing. And I’ve heard the idea that Spider-Man has sex with mary Jane on top of a bridge.

  “See, Spider-Man’s best stories of the last few years have been when he died — most notably in Amazing Spider-Man #700 and in Ultimate Spider-Man #150”

  Again...you don’t know anything about Spider-Man and/or are an incredibly pathetic literary analyst.

  Because if you weren’t either of those things you’d have noted how godaweful and just plain asinine Superior was and how mean spirited ASM #700 were. You are talking about a storyline which literally only happened because Spider-Man was so stupid that he didn’t try telling the Avengers his mind had been switched with Doc Ock.

  That is if you’ve actually bothered to read the stories. I’m not convinced you have though.

  “They’re powerful stories that show Peter is true to his word, and that he knows with great power does come great responsibility… no matter what.”

  Maybe the USM story is powerful (and poorly built up) but ASM #700 isn’t. Especially when you consider that Peter DIDN’T die in the story. He’s literally alive in his body in Superior Spider-Man #1.

  14)

  We really do not need Miles at all.

  Miles Morales was created less than 10 years ago and has been the subject of decompressed 4+ part stories including multiple crossovers and events.

  What does this mean?

  It means long term there is entirely too little material about Miles to justify him being Spider-Man long term and what little material there is not movieworthy.

  To begin with almost half his history is tied up in events which cannot by their nature function as solo Spider-Man movies due to the presence of other characters and elements that do not pertain to Spider-Man’s core concept.

  Or do you think it’d make for a positively thrilling Spider-Man movie to see him run around trying to stop Galactus (who Marvel don’t own) before a giant Kitty pryde (who Marvel don’t own) knocks him out?

  All of Miles’ OTHER stories are equally unsuitable for film as Spider-Man stories.

  He works as an agent of SHIELD? Spider-Man is about being a normal guy who happens to be a hero so no spy shit shouldn’t be in a movie.

  His mother dies because of Venom? Yay, let’s fridge another woman (and a woman of colour to boot) in a story decision that even the original writer regretted and reversed just three years later.

  Oh! He could fight Captain America in another Civil War. Oh wait we just did that movie.

  HEY how about having his origin story again?

  Audiences will just eat up ANOTHER movie about a smart teenager who gets bitten by a science spider, gains super powers, doesn’t use them when he can resulting in someone dying, feeling guilty about it and then deciding to be a superhero.

  I mean they just LOVED seeing that for the second time in 10 years so surely they’d love seeing it for the third time in 15.

  On top of all that hey genius, MILES IS A TEENAGER!

  There exists ZERO stories about his life beyond his teens which means you have NOTHING to base a movie upon when the actor soon enough ages beyond the point where he’s a teenager. With Peter Parker though you have stories of him as a high schooler, college student, grad student, young man leaving education and a married adult.

  “Look, we love Peter, you love Peter, but we need Miles Morales. It’s a different world out there than when we were kids, a world which has six different Peter Parker movies with a seventh one on the way.”

  Yes it is a different world. We have 8 Batman movies now as opposed to the 5 from 20 years ago.

  And if you mean it’s a different world in regards to something to do with race, putting aside how you know...there are still a lot of white people around...just cast Peter Parker with a poc actor!

  That’d be cool and keeps the awesome iconic character of Spider-Man rather than the less developed, less original, has less stories to tell version of Spider-Man.

    “Peter Parker is cool and all, but we’re pretty sure most audience members would be fine if he had less movies than Harry Potter. ”

  I see...you’ve compiled a comprehensive survey about this have you?

  A survey which suggests that mass audiances who’ve been used to Peter Parker being Spider-Man for 50 years would be okay with this other character being Spider-Man whom they no little-nothing about.

  Okay.

  “Miles, honestly, is just a bit more interesting than Peter. His first reaction wasn’t, “Oh joy, Spider Powers!” it was, “Oh no…” He has a different background, different friends, and a different story — one we haven’t seen on-screen almost 10 times. Give Miles a shot, gang.”

  Fuck. You.

  No seriously.

  A character who is scared by his new powers is more interesting than one who decides to use them for personal gain whilst neglecting the good he can do, learns his lesson the hard way and carries that guilt forward into his life driving him to be a hero?

  Jackass your saying 1950s DC characters’ origins are more interesting than the 1960s Marvel characters’ origins which are MORE REALISTIC!

  Peter Parker had flaws to his character more serious than Miles’ and took more time to get past. Miles is a good kid who does the right thing relatively quickly.

  Peter wasn’t, even when he decided to do the right thing he tripped, stumbled had to get passed his personal issues and grow as a person. He wasn’t immediately great at being a superhero, he ran away crying in his very first issue after a super villain fight. He was hated and hounded by the press and police.

  He had to provide for his famiy in the absence of his father figure who’s death he had a hand in. And on top of that had to deal with unpopularity at school and life generally taking a crap on him.

  Oh...but he’s ‘just not as interesting’ as the kid who had little-none of that to deal with.

  I’m not even saying Miles sucks or hasn’t got a lot of merit.

  But fuck you no, he is absolutely not as interesting as Peter Parker was.

  As for his different background and different friends guess what genius you haven’t seen that for Peter either. You’ve never seen Flash Thompson or Joe Robertson done properly. You’ve seen only the briefest of glimpses into Jameson. You’ve never seen MJ done right, Jean DeWolff or anything like that.

  And again...you saw SOME of Spider-Man’s supporting cast in a mere 5 movies which repeated beats from one another which didn’t cover even a 10th of Spider-Man’s wider history.

    13)

“Heck, the comics have already killed him and brought him back a bunch of times! Ultimate Spider-Man was the first series to make a thing of it and it’s the series that Spider-Man: Homecoming most resembles. ”

  Again...you clearly no sweet fuck all about Spider-Man.

  a)      If you knew anything about Spider-Man including the Miles Morales version you would know that Holland’s Spider-Man most closely resembles him not Ultimate Peter Parker

b)      Spider-Man died and came back multiple times in the 616 universe long before Ultimate ever did it

  “But while he’s dead, we can explore a different and cooler Spider-Man; one we haven’t seen before.”

  See above as to why Miles isn’t cooler and why you are unqualified to write this article.

    “ But the point is that the comics have killed Peter Parker off before and it worked out wonderfully…”

  Yeah like remember that wonderful outcome where a super villain was Spider-Man and tried to rape Mary jane for a whole issue. WONDERFUL!

  12)

  “We might be belaboring the point here (we can already hear you typing your Facebook comments now), but Peter Parker has been the star of two different trilogies in the span of 10 years (though one was mercifully cut short). ”

    ‘Two different trilogies’? Up top you said three. Whch is it.

  But whilst we’re belabouring points see above about the hypocrisy of using this argument given the number of films OTHER characters have had.

  Also learn some mathematics. If a films eries lasts for TWO movies it’s objectively not a TRILOGY!

  “There’s no shortage of Peter Parker content out there. Plus, he’s not like Batman where there’s a bunch of interesting characters for him to play off of. ”

  I’m sensing a Batfan who doesn’t know much about Spider-Man is writing this.

  Regardless Mary Jane Watson, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Jean DeWolff, Flash Thompson, George Stacy, Betty Brant, Liz Allan, Ben Urich, Felicia Hardy, Harry Osborn, Randy Robertson, and Norman Osborn (i.e. the best supporting cast of all comic books ever) grossly disagree with you about there being no ‘interesting characters for him to play off of’.

  “There’s basically just Spider-Man and his enemies…”

    *facepalms so hard it shatters skull*

  As if I needed more confirmation.

  Hey asshole? Even people who don’t READ Spider-Man know his life involves his normal people supporting cast waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than his super villains who’re egregiously less important. THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT MADE HIM POPULAR IN THE FIRST PLACE!

  “and all those girls he’s too poor and/or nerdy and/or too devoted to his aunt to date.”

  Yeah like Betty Brant, Gwen Stacy, Felicia Hardy, Deb Whitman, Mary Jane, Carlie Cooper, Lian Tang and so on.

  He NEVER dated any of them because he was too poor, too nerdy and too devoted to his aunt...who set him up to date one of them.

  FFS

  11) 

  “Hey, you know what makes audiences think twice? When you kill off a main character. Remember Phil Coulson’s death back during The Avengers? It was amazing, it was shocking, it was memorable, and it’s a big part of why that movie was better than a lot of other MCU movies — because it had actual stakes. We all genuinely cared about Phil Coulson, as we watched him in all of the different movies.

  In the same way, we all genuinely love Peter Parker, and seeing him — especially such a young and hopeful him — dying on-screen would be super devastating and prove that the stakes are real in the MCU. None of the heroes have fallen yet — the closest has been Rhodey getting his back hurt — but at some point one of them is going to have to — why not the one you’d least expect, and the one you might love the most?”

  Killing off for cheap shock value and not because it makes sense for the character is a lowly form of writing...also Coulson came back genius.

  And if you want this to happen then surely killing off Steve Rogers who also has a black person as his legacy, has had legacies before, had a better death storyline, is a bigger deal to the universe at large and has lived a longer life thus making it less cruel for him to be struck down as a child, would make a million times more sense than Spider-Man dying.

  10)

  “Peter Parker is more or less regarded as the heart of the Marvel Universe. He’s the youngest, the one most down on his luck, and the one who sacrifices the most to be a hero.”

  Yeah...Peter Parker is the youngest hero. As we all know Richard Ryder, Kamala Khan and every Young Avenger ever is older than Spider-Man.

  And as we all know he’s the most down on his luck. Daredevil who’s girlfriends have a history of you know...dying looks at Spider-Man and saying “Well at least I’m not THAT guy. He has to worry about his mother’s health. I don’t have to do that because my mother left me to be raised by my Dad whilst she worked as a nun and never sees me.”

  “He is the most heroic of all of the heroes in the Marvel Universe and nothing would prove that better than to show him sacrificing himself. Being the true hero.”

  We already know how heroic he is and know that he’d give his life to save others. We don’t need him to die to prove that. See Iron man in Avengers Asemble. And you know fucking Quicksilver who already proved stakes are real!

  “What would work better to establish him as the beating heart of the Marvel Cinematic Universe than to show that — above everyone else — he is the guy to make the sacrifice play. With all of those others standing so tall, he could stand as the true embodiment of what it means to be a hero. In fact, killing him would show just how much of a hero he always was.”

  Again..see Iron Man in Avengers Assemble. And Bruce Banner in Incredible Hulk who wasn’t risking his mortality perhaps but he was willingly condemning himself to a fate worse than death by becoming the Hulk again. It’s established he’d rather be dead than be the Hulk, but he still chose to become a monster again and ruin his life in order to save lives.

  Oh and Captain America in First Avenger and Winter Soldier. He was willing to sacrifice himself in the first movie for the greater good and in the second movie it was just to save his BFF.

  In fact just see Captain America. In the MCU it’s debatable whether he or Iron Man are the heart of the universe, but Cap is objectively the most heroic.

  And you want self sacrifice...dude...Cap was literally a soldier...in World War II.

  Spider-Man in the MCU isn’t a hero to that degree yet. In-universe arguably he isn’t that degree of hero yet. Perhaps nobody could top Cap in that regard.

    9)

  “When Phil Coulson died, it was a rallying call for the Avengers to get back together and take the fight to Loki and help save New York. It was pretty cool but if the Avengers are going to come back together after being so heavily divided, then it’s going to take something big. Maybe something like the youngest Avenger, the one all of them met for a short time, dying in battle.”

  So we’re going to kill off Spider-Man not for the sake of his story but for the sake of the wider Marvel Universe thereby reducing him to a prop.

  Charming.

  Putting that aside this is so stupid because Thor and Hulk don’t even know he exists whilst all other Avengers except for Iron Man don’t know him personally at all. It’d just be some kid who died which is sad to them I guess. Half the team saw him as an enemy anyway.

  When Coulson died he was at least on speaking terms with like half the team. He had some sort of relationship with them.

  Spidey in the MCU currently does not...at all.

  There is more justification for them to be affected by Quicksilver’s death!

  “Maybe then the heroes will realize that something needs to be done and the Avengers will… well, you know… Avenge! Spider-Man’s death could be a call for the Avengers to become bigger and greater and cooler than they’ve ever been — and as we know, the Avengers got their name from avenging Phil… why not continue the tradition and avenge Spider-Man?”

  How would Spider-Man’s death motivating the Avengers somehow make them ‘cooler’?

  And they should probably not continue the tradition by Avenging Spider-Man because it’s cheap and makes Spider-Man’s death more about the Avengers rather than about him. Especially when you consider Spider-Man is about being a normal down to Earth guy. But the global threat fighting taskforce that is the Avengers are going to be motivated by some Goblin nutter offing him?

  Or perhaps you mean it’d be appropriate for Spider-Man to die at the hands of a cosmic threat like Thanos even though that’s well outside the remit for his character’s core coneption and theme.

  8)

  “Unfortunately there are a lot of issues that go against our entirely cool plan to kill the Spider”

  Your plan isn’t entirely cool. Merely entirely foolish.

  “such as Tom Holland saying he has plans that he’s put forth to keep playing Spider-Man until the character is in his thirties. To wrap your head around that, the Spider-Man in Captain America: Civil War is about 15 years old. Holland wants to play this character for 20 freaking years.”

  So Tom Holland wants to respect the Spider-Man character and do his story justice by showing him grow and mature into his adulthood which is what Stan Lee his creator and architect of the entire Marvel universe intended and what eventually happened in the comics leading to some of the best Spider-Man stories ever such as the Death of Jean DeWolff.

  What an asshole I guess.

  “So, unfortunately, it seems like Spider-Man — as Peter Parker — isn’t going anywhere for a very long time indeed.”

  Oh no what a shame. Peter Parker who IS Spider-Man, the original, the genuine article, the best one in fact, will remain Spider-Man.

  Man...this is almost as bad as when I heard Clark Kent would be Superman.

  7)

  “It would be like introducing Hank Pym only to have him immediately… oh wait, that actually happened.”

  I don’t even know what your saying here. Hank Pym didn’t die in Ant Man.

  “nyway, what we’re saying is that grabbing the rights to Peter Parker for the MCU is one of their biggest scoops of recent years — Guardians of the Galaxy big ”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  ‘Guardians of the Galaxy big?

  What planet are you living on? Guardians of the Galaxy made a lot of money and was a smash hit. Guardians though wasn’t even as big in the movie business as the FIRST Avengers movie.

  Peter being in the MCU is an almost UNPRECEDENTED working relationship between two competing film companies, especially when one of them is Disney.

  It’s grossly a bigger deal than Guardians, hence news coverage went nuts when it happened moreso than when Guardians happened.

        6)

“Yes, okay, while Peter Parker is incredibly prolific across every single form of media, there’s a pretty fair reason for that. The dude is popular. He’s one of the best-selling comic characters (arguably the best selling) of all time. He’s basically a license to print money, and while Miles Morales is pretty awesome and super popular in his own right, he’s not Peter Parker popular. Yet.”

  And he never will be.

  Peter Parker as Spider-Man is a 50+ year institution.

  You say he’s prolific because he’s popular.

  But he’s popular because he’s a GREAT character.

  Great in ways that Miles, whilst good unto himself, is mostly derivative of.

  “While it might be a great creative move, when it comes to money, Peter Parker’s the safe bet. (Which would probably amuse the permanently poor character to no end.)”

  Spider-Man isn’t permanently poor. Putting aside stupid stints like Parker Industries or when Mary Jane was raking in the cash as a supermodel, Peter has had periods of time where he is merely financially stable as opposed to poor.

  He wasn’t even really ‘poor’ in Ultimate Spider-Man which I’m guessing is the only source of Spider-Man you have that much familiarity with.

  And for many reasons stated above, Peter isn’t the best choice creatively. And it because of that that he’s not the best decision financially.

  Creatively Peter has 50 years of history to draw on to make great movies out of. Creatively Miles has less than 10 and not even all of that would be conductive for a movie.

  5)

  “While this is arguably the most controversial argument, it’s also incredibly true. Marvel has a bit of a white-dude-as-lead problem. As in, all of their movies thus far have had a white dude main character. Sure, Black Panther is coming later but, look, if there was another version of Black Panther that was a white dude… let’s just say Marvel most likely would have gone for that version.”

  First of all I’m shocked to learn CBR has this massive insight into Kevin Feige’s mindset that they know for a fact they’d make amovie out of the Caucasian Black Panther if he existed.

  But hey...here is a thought. Maybe...just maybe...the reason Marvel’s movies have had white leads thus far is because in the source material they base the movies on...the characters are ALSO white?????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Look...I’m not saying you should always keep a character white if they were in the cource material, but from a branding point of view and a fan point of view (of which Feige is known to be) it makes a shitton of sense that Marvel would want the characters to visually speaking look like they leapt off the page as much as possible.

  So no...Marvel wouldn’t have used the Caucasian Black Panther if they could have, they would’ve used the African Black Panther because Black Panther is in fact someone from the African continent.

  Same way they made kept Gamora green and Nebula blue because int eh comics they are effing green and effing blue!

  Again, racebending is okay under the right circumstances and Spider-Man was one of those circumstances.

  But saying Marvel are determined to have as many white leads as possible is despicably idiotic and judgemental.

  “Heck, Ant Man and Wasp is going to be the first movie to have a woman even co-headline! While Marvel makes good movies, they’re also a bit regressive. Suddenly making a movie about a young mixed race kid whose uncle is a thief seems like a bit of an inauspicious start for the company. Give them time, and Miles will appear onscreen. Eventually.”

  The same applies here.

  Marvel makes movies based upon the source material they have and the most successful source material at that, or at least the one which serves their purposes the most.

  And unfortunately most of their big characters in the source material are white males.

  Does this mean they shouldn’t do female led movies? No of course not.

  Should they have done them before now?

  Maybe in the case of Black Widow but otherwise from a practical POV probably not.

  MCU Phase 1 was designed to get us to the Avengers and do so as quickly as possible. To that end they did movies based upon the biggest Avengers characters, the real icons.

  Cap, Iron Man and Thor are the trinity of the Avengers. Hulk is however the most famous classic Avenger in all pop culture so he had to be in there.

  Hence Phase 1 was movies about those guys leading into Avengers.

  Phase 2 consequently comprised ONLY sequels to those movies in order to as quickly as possible follow up to the smash hit that was the first Avengers film. The ONLY exceptions to those sequels were Ant Man and Guardians of the Galaxy, both of which were made primarily for PRACTICAL purposes more than anything else.

  Ant Man had been in development since around the time of the first Iron Man movie so there was a huge financial incentive to just get it finished and out the goddam door.

  Guardians meanwhile existed for the EXACT SAME reason Iron man 2 existed, that is to say set up things for the future. Iron Man 2 primarily existed to set up Avengers whereas Guardians existed to set up the cosmic side of the Marvel universe thereby giving the MCU more potential films whilst also setting up Infinity War by explaining who the Hell that guy from the post credits scene of Avengers was and what these Infinity Stones actually are.

  Guardians was a movie they HAD to make more than anything.

    So we have 2 necesarry movies and then sequels to the established stuff. Could they have done a Black Widow movie? Maybe but at that point in time there was no indication that there was enough interest in Black Widow to do that and they were already taking a humungous risk on Guardians and to a lesser extent Ant Man.

  Black Widow got popular to the point where EVERYONE was demanding she get a movie after Winter Soldier, that film came out in 2014 with phase 2 scheduled to end the very next year meaning they literally had no time to give Black Widow her own movie before Phase 2 was done.

  Could they do it now? Sure, but they are also doing a male/female co-lead movie as well as their own female led movie in Captain Marvel.

  Could they have done Captain Marvel earlier. Not really no. Carol Danvers hadn’t yet reached her current point of popularity circa the Phase 1 movies and more poignantly she was nowhere near the same level of popular, iconic or a surething as a movie as the Phase 1 characters were, let alone being necessary.

Hulk was the most famous character followed by Cap. Cap along with Iron Man and Thor are THE iconic Avengers, you can’t do a movie without them.

  Beyond Carol though all their big female solo heroes do not have the same degree of popularity as other male heroes. Spider Woman and She Hulk are nowhere near as popular as Spider-Man and Hulk so if you are making a billion dollar financial investment in a superhero movie you’re not going to go for the former in favour of the latter, not initially anyway. NOW though we’re in a better position to do that.

  Phase 1 had to lay the ground work, Phase 2 had to solidify things and not rock the boat too much, now in Phase 3 the MCU’s place in pop culture isn’t a one hit wonder or five minutes of fame. It is now in a position to be bolder in making different types of movies.

  My point. There are legitimate practical reasons as to why Marvel hasn’t yet made a female led movie but we are NOW in a position to make it happen.

  4)

“Kevin Feige — the dad of the Marvel Cinematic Universe — has said that Marvel Studios has a clear plan for where Spider-Man’s going to go: and it’s to college. He’s said that he wants to make the Spider-Man movies work similarly to the Harry Potter movies, where each one documents one year of Peter Parker at school. And Feige has said he wants to do at least seven of them, carrying Peter Parker all the way through high school and almost all of the way through college. While Tom Holland’s enthusiasm makes the prospect of Miles Morales appearing as the prime Spider-Man a bit dubious, Feige’s claims make the prospect pretty much dead. Maybe he’ll change his mind, but until then, get ready for years of Peter Parker. Years!”

  How dare Kevin Feige wish for Spider-Man to go through the same iconic character arc from the comics which made him popular. And how dare he enter the status quo in which he gained pop culture stardom.

  Dropping the sarcasm though this sounds utterly fucking awesome and the correct approach to Spider-Man.

  3)

  “One problem with replacing Spider-Man is the fact that it hasn’t happened yet — ever. There haven’t been any legacy characters yet, so introducing the idea with Spider-Man would be a bit of an odd step. It would make more sense to have Bucky take over Captain America or War Machine take over as Iron Man. These characters are already set up and their legacies make a bunch of sense.”

  Jackass ANT MAN IS A LEGACY!

  “Once Steve Rogers or Tony Stark aren’t the men behind their respective masks, the idea of Miles becoming the Ultimate Spider-Man would be a lot more palatable for somewhat squeamish audiences.”

  Yu realize Feige has stated he’d rather recast Tony Stark than reboot the MCu right?

  I doubt we’re gonna get to the point where Tony and probably Steve get legacied.

  2)

  “You know what comic books are great for? Advertising. Each comic basically works as an advertisement for all of the toys and movies and video games. That’s how Marvel actually makes all that sweet money from these characters. The money they get from the comics isn’t shabby, but it’s mostly a really well-written commercial.”

    Holy crap you really don’t know anything do you?

  First of all the comic money is pitiful. It’s chump change in the grand scheme of things.

  But more importantly the comics AREN’T COMMERCIALS FOR THE MERCHANDISE!

  An issue of Spider-Man is read by at best 100,000 people per month, most of whom are older people who’re less inclined towards buying merchandise. And they are mainly sold through speciality comic book shops which aren’t on the mass goddam market.

  This means the comics DOESN’T PROMOTE THE MERCHANDISE THE MERCHANDISE PROMOTES THE COMICS!

  How the Hell do you not know that seriously! Whenever a movie comes out the comics contort to be like the movies because they know they’ll get a sales bump from it, not because they think the few 100,000 tops people going to speciality stores and are older people who’ve been reading for decades might be swayed to watch the movie that’s been advertised in trailers and posters everywhere they go in their daily lives!

  “Thinking of comics that way, you can see which products that Marvel values highest: and the winner is Peter Parker, who stars in (at last count) three books, with cameos in many more. As for Miles Morales? He has his own and an occasional crossover. ”

  *facepalm*

  FIRST of all Miles appears regularly in Champions and before that he was regularly appearing in All New All Different Avengers and before that he was regularly appearing in All-New Ultimates.

  And what is this ‘occassional crossover’ crap?

Spider-Men

Divided We Fall

United We Stand

Cataclysm

Secret Wars

Civil War II

Miles had tie-ins to ALL of those crossovers and appeared in many of them. In fact he had VITAL roles in the last three I listed.

  1)

  Wow. I’m shocked because I found nothing objectionable in this final entry on this list.

  In summation.

  This was laughable and the author should be ashamed of the pathetic levels of ignorance and lack of research evident in this article (for lack of a better word).

  I am appalled that the author was paid actual money to make this garbage list. 

[thesffcorner]

The Bride Test

The Bride Test is the second book in a series of companion novels that started with The Kiss Quotient written by Helen Hoang. It’s an adult romance that follows 2 perspectives: Khai, a Vietnamese-American autistic accountant, convinced he’s incapable of experiencing love; and My or Eseme, a Vietnamese bathroom cleaner, who comes to the States at the behest of Khai’s mother to be his future wife. She is to spend the summer with him and seduce him in the three months; if they marry, she gets a green card, and Khai may learn, he can love after all. So, the premise of this book is… interesting. Arranged marriage/marriage of convenience are a pretty common theme in romance, but this is the first that I’ve read, and if I have this to go by… I’m not a fan. I really liked Hoang’s first book; I found the relationship between Stella and Michael sweet and very healthy, enjoyed a lot of the family dynamics, and thought the Aspergers rep with Stella was excellent. I did have some issues with the pacing and plot, and one of the main things that annoyed me in that book, was that a lot of the final conflict between Stella and Michael hinged on a miscommunication. I regret to inform you, that this entire book hinges on miscommunication;90% of Khai and My’s conflict is their terrible communication, which especially irked me considering the power dynamic of the relationship. While I liked both as individual characters, their romance just didn’t work for me, and it might take me some time to properly explain why. 

The Plot: I’m not Vietnamese; I’m Macedonian, and in Macedonia, arranged marriages, or mail order brides are not exactly a thing that’s done, or looked at positively. So the fact that this whole plot revolves around Co Nga and My conspiring to have My seduce Khai into marriage or potential “accidental pregnancy” was just... bizarre. Don’t get me wrong, there is some humor in the situation, and if Khai were a different type of character, I’d probably have been a lot less squeamish about this conceit. But Khai is autistic, and he’s a lot further on the spectrum than Stella; he’s a lot more closed off, specific, has more severe sensory issues, and generally seems less, for lack of a better word ‘adjusted’ than Stella. It doesn’t help that his autism is rarely mentioned or even acknowledged by the other characters in the book; Co Nga doesn’t even tell My that Khai is autistic or even explain what that is until way into the third act of the book. A lot of things in this book are like that; they hinge on deception or half-truths. Like sure, maybe Co Nga shouldn’t have told My that her son is autistic, but she should have explained to My that he’s different, that he has issues with communication, touch and expressing emotion. Telling her ‘you have to specifically ask him for things’ isn’t quite cutting it, since understanding why he does things and acts the way he does requires a much deeper and more nuanced explanation. It’s unavoidable that I talk some SPOILERS for this next part, so if you don’t want to know, skip to pacing. Khai not explaining his condition to My, is small potatoes compared to her entire story and motivation. My has a daughter, that she is raising by herself with her mother, and she HAS to make it in the States, because it’s not just her own future that’s on the line. When the book starts, she HAS to seduce Khai and have him marry her; it’s her only way of staying in the country. But she hides having a daughter from Khai, until literary the second to last chapter of the book. This isn’t something I can overlook; having a child is a burden and commitment that shouldn’t be sprung on anyone, let alone a person who already struggles with intimacy and affection, and barely had any say in the whole ordeal in the first place! If My were to marry Khai, then Jade would be his daughter too, and My never consults or discusses this incredibly important decision with him. There’s never any care in whether he would want to or even be capable of being a father! She tells Quan, his older brother who is magically really ok that My lied to Khai for moths about something this important, and he too magically forgets to share this incredibly vital info with Khai. And when Khai does find out, he just… accepts it without question? There’s no panic, no insecurity, he’s just ok with being a father now, when a day ago he was barely ok with someone moving his socks around. What? The really annoying part is that, this could have been an actual source of genuine conflict between Khai and My; if My had told him earlier about Jade, then there could have been some exploration of Khai’s feelings on having a family, having to learn how to show affection and communicating with a child, how to be a parental figure. Instead, we have genuinely one of the dumbest reasons for a falling out I’ve ever read. That Khai can’t accept that he is capable of emotion and love makes some sense; he’s never learned how to recognize and deal with his emotions. He’s repressed them his whole life, to the point where he can’t even distinguish between them; he conflates love with addiction, and the physical symptoms of grief for an illness. It’s understandable, since again, his family seems to be rather intent on never acknowledging or addressing his autism, or teaching him how to manage processing things differently. But the fact that even after she was told, and explained to what autism is, by both Khai and Quan, and living with him long enough to realize that he processes and expresses emotions differently that she, or most people, My is STILL intent that Khai doesn’t love her, unless he VERBALLY SAYS IT. Quan, knowing all this comes up with the brilliant solution of throwing together a fake wedding, in order to make Khai jealous enough to crash it, and say I love you to My. Not, locking them in the same room and telling them to talk to each-other, not explaining to My why he’s like this, no; he has to be SO extra, to make a fucking wedding. What if Khai didn’t show up? What if he was too late? What if instead of coming to the wedding he hurt himself? So many things could have gone wrong, and the blockbuster rom-com ending made it that much more aggravating. The other subplot having to do with My’s dad was unnecessary and a waste of time. It doesn’t have any effect on the main story, it’s dropped for really long stretches of time, and the fact that it ends up WORKING OUT PERFECTLY was just insane to me. It was the most convenient part of the plot, even more so than Quan’s miracle-cure-for-all-wedding. Pacing: I would like to say the pacing has improved from the Kiss Quotient but it really hasn’t. I do have to give props to Hoang, in that the sex scenes are paced much better this time; it takes much longer until we get to the first one, we know the characters by that point and are invested in their love life. However, the rest of the book was kind of a mess. My is supposed to spend 3 months with Khai, but the way events are laid out, it’s impossible to say how much time has truly passed. She enrolls and graduates from night school, gets a job at the restaurant, they go to 2 weddings and a memorial service, and it feels like very little has changed in their relationship. The only thing that changes is the amount of sex they’re having Characters: Easily the best part of the book were the characters; as individual people they were great and I almost wish they were in 2 separate stories. The side characters this time were strangely wasted here, unlike in the previous book. Michael makes an appearance in an admittedly funny scene where he and Quan try to do damage control on Khai’s terrible sexual expertise (or lack thereof). Quan is present, but he’s much less interesting; he’s a lot more into boobs and ass than I recall him being, and though he has a few touching scene with Khai, there wasn’t a true familial dynamic like there was with Michael’s family. Co Nga, Khai’s sister Vy, Angelica, Miss Q, My’s mother and Jade are all characters that were in the book, but they had barely any presence or personality. I found this a real shame because one of the best part of The Kiss Quotient was the family, and I sorely missed the bond Stella had with Michael’s mother and sisters here. Khai, I liked less than I liked My. He wasn’t a bad character or badly written; he just wasn’t very compelling. It’s difficult to write characters who are routine oriented and hyper focused, even less so when the hyper-focus is something like accounting or exercise like it is for Khai. His interactions with My weren’t nearly as endearing as the interactions between Stella and Michael; he’s a lot less lovable, and I didn’t get an impression that he was in love with My, more that she bullied her way into his life and he got used to her. There were also many moments where his coping mechanisms were needlessly rude or cruel to her; leaving her alone at the wedding, reading a book, not bothering to ask her how she is, what she likes, taking her on a date. It’s not that he does any of those things intentionally, and he does improve as the book goes on, but he doesn’t take initiative until the very end, and I just failed to see why she liked him as much as the book tried to tell me she did. The language issue between them is also never resolved. My never speaks English to Khai, only Vietnamese, and he responds only in English. Other than the very end and the only time he speaks Vietnamese to her, I didn’t really understand why this was a thing, and why Khai constantly notes it. My was a delight and I wanted for her to be happy and to protect her. I instantly loved her; she was a ray of sunshine. She’s incredibly kind and good, she makes tough choices, and never gives up, even when it seems like her situation is hopeless. I don’t approve of or like that she hid Jade from Khai for so long, even if I understood why she was reluctant to tell him. It was a bad choice, and it tainted what was otherwise a great character. Outside of that, I loved how determined and capable My was, how self-sufficient she ended up being by the end. She pursues her education, she works, when things go south she finds her own apartment and learns the public transit. As soon as she realized that Khai needed things done a certain way she would adjust her behavior, and when he crossed a line and hurt or insulted he, she called him out on it. She was honestly, too good for Khai; I think Hoang agrees with me, because a lot more love radiated from the way she was written as opposed to Khai. In her afterword, Hoang talks how she wanted to represent the immigrant experience of people like her mother truthfully, and it was really sweet and illuminating, but it also made me feel like this book was a missed opportunity. The best parts of this book were My trying to make a life for herself, and I almost wish the book had been about that instead of a romance. As is, both parts felt too short, too rushed, and too uneven to be successful. Conclusion: This is a mediocre book, with an iffy premise that never quite raises beyond the superficiality of a fake dating plot. I was mostly disappointed by how it developed, and though I liked Khai and would take a bullet for My, I don’t think it’s as good as Hoang’s previous work. I still urge you to check it out and see for yourself; Hoang is a much needed voice in romance, and I’ll continue to read whatever she puts out, though I wasn’t the biggest fan of this.

[brokehorrorfan]

Best New Horror Movies on Netflix: Spring 2017

I know there's an overwhelming amount of horror movies to sift through on Netflix, so I've decided to take out some of the legwork by compiling a list of the season's best new genre titles on Netflix's instant streaming service.

Please feel free to leave a comment with any I may have missed and share your thoughts on any of the films you watch. You can also peruse past installments of Best New Horror Moves on Netflix for more suggestions.

1. It Follows

I assume most horror fans have already seen It Follows, as it was one of the most-talked-about genre films of 2015, but if you somehow missed it, stop reading this and watch it right now. A horror classic for a new generation, the plot revolves around a curse passed on through sex in which the recipient is followed by... something. Not only does it draw influence from Halloween and A Nightmare on Elm Street, the film also evokes everything I love about those classics: a strong female lead in Maika Monroe (The Guest), a dreamlike atmosphere, precise direction, stunning cinematography, a memorable synth score, a familiar suburban setting, and an unsettling, mysterious antagonist. Read my full review of the film here.

2. Under the Shadow

The first half of Under the Shadow works well as a compelling war drama, while the last act turns into an edge-of-your-seat supernatural chiller. The Persian-language film takes place in 1980s Iran while the Iraq war rages on. When her husband is drafted, Shideh (Narges Rashidi) is left to raise their young daughter on her own, living in a war zone under the constant threat of an attack. The daughter becomes convinced that evil djinn have taken her beloved doll and soon develops a fever that won't break. The stressed mother dismisses her stories until she experiences the hauntings herself. The film explores similar themes to The Babadook, in addition to sharing an appeal to both genre and arthouse/film festival audiences.

3. The Invitation

As raw as it is calculated, The Invitation is an understated thriller that brings to mind such films as Rosemary’s Baby, The Shining, and Let the Right One In. The captivating plot revolves around a group of friends reuniting at a lavish dinner party, but one man (Logan Marshall-Green, Prometheus) becomes increasingly paranoid of ulterior motives. Director Karyn Kusama (Jennifer's Body, Aeon Flux) strings viewers along with just enough information to maintain engagement without sacrificing ambiguity, anchored by brilliant performances from the ensemble cast. The deliberate, slow pace creates a pervading sense of dread, which culminates in a chilling finale worthy of the build up. Read my full review of the film here.

4. Train to Busan

Think you’re done with zombie movies? Think again. In addition to smashing records in its home country of South Korea, Train to Busian is easily accessible to a global audience. Like Snowpiercer meets 28 Days Later, the plot involves a ferocious zombie outbreak aboard a train. It's on par with a Hollywood blockbuster movie in terms of spectacle, performance, and entertainment value. It's also surprisingly heartfelt, thanks to characters for whom the viewer cares - including a sweet father-daughter relationship and one of the best supporting characters in recent memory. Read my full review of the film here.

5. Cheap Thrills

Cheap Thrills is a few years old now, but if it went under your radar, you need to check it out. A quick glance at the trailer or synopsis may leave you questioning how the plot - in which two desperate men perform increasingly twisted dares for money - could sustain itself for 88 minutes. Against all odds, you'll watch in suspense, wondering what they'll do next and questioning if you'd do the same with money being waved in front of you. Ethan Embry (Can't Hardly Wait) completely reinvents himself in the role of the scumbag, while Pat Healy (Starry Eyes) earns the audience's sympathy despite being just as guilty. David Koechner (Anchorman) plays the wealthy man handing over the money, with Sara Paxton (The Last House on the Left) as his arm candy.

6. Trash Fire

Trash Fire certainly isn't for everyone, but if you've enjoyed writer-director Richard Bates Jr.'s previous output - Excision and Suburban Gothic - you should have a pretty good grasp on what to expect from his latest. In an attempt to mend their toxic relationship, arrogant pick Owen (Adrian Grenier, Entourage) and his on-again, off-again girlfriend, Isabel (Angela Trimbur, The Final Girls), visit his estranged sister (AnnaLynne McCord, 90210), who was horribly burned in a fire that killed his parents. The cast also includes Fionnula Flanagan (The Others), Matthew Gray Gubler (Criminal Minds), Ezra Buzzington (The Hills Have Eyes), and Ray Santiago (Ash vs Evil Dead). The genre bender begins as a quirky, black comedy, then transforms into a dark and disturbing drama with horror undertones. Both halves are uncomfortable in their own way.

7. Evolution

Evolution is definitely tailored for the foreign/arthouse crowd, as French director Lucile Hadzihalilovic explores the horrors of puberty in an esoteric manner. It's immediately striking, from the breathtaking, Planet Earth-esque underwater photography that opens the film, and remains visually interesting even when the plot goes off the deep end. The story centers on a young boy who discovers a dead body in the ocean, after which he's sent to a mysterious hospital where he and other boys are subjected to bizarre experiments. The finale is a memorable one.

8. The Similars

The Similars (known in its native Spanish as Los Parecidos) is an unabashed love letter to The Twilight Zone and similar science fiction thrillers from the 1960s, right down to the Rod Serling-style voiceovers that bookend the story. The film takes place in 1968 Mexico, adopting a period-appropriate aesthetic with desaturated color, nearly to the point of being black and white, stark film noir-esque lighting, and fake film grain. The events occur in a bus station during a heavy rainstorm, where the handful of stranded patrons face a bizarre phenomenon that I won't give away here. It goes a little off the rails toward the end, but the premise is so riveting you won't be able to take your eyes off the screen.

9. Tales of Halloween

Tales of Halloween is a horror anthology made up of 10 segments from directors such as Neil Marshall (The Descent), Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw II-IV), Lucky McKee (May), Paul Solet (Grace), and Mike Mendez (Big Ass Spider), among others. The cast is equally impressive; you'll recognize nearly every face as a genre veteran, indie favorite, or master of horror filmmaker, including Barry Bostwick (The Rocky Horror Picture Show), Lin Shaye (Insidious), Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator), and Adrienne Barbeau (The Fog), to name a few. There's really only so much you can do with a Halloween-night setting in 10 minutes, so the film becomes monotonous at times, but there's still a lot of fun to be had. It won't replace Trick 'r Treat as the go-to Halloween anthology, but Tales of Halloween makes for a great addition to your seasonal viewing.

10. Antibirth

Antibirth is further proof (as if we needed it) that Canadians love David Cronenberg's body horror fare. The first half of the film is, frankly, a chore to slog through, but once the prolonged set-up is out of the way, we're rewarded with nightmarish visions of blood, pus, and hideous deformities. It's worth the time commitment for the insane final 10 minutes, which make this movie a fun one to watch with a group of friends. Natasha Lyonne (Orange Is the New Black) stars as an unfortunate girl who shows signs of being pregnant - including a bulbous belly - without having had sex. Whatever is inside her infects both her body and mind. It's a wholly unglamorous role, but Lyonne owns it. Chloë Sevigny (American Horror Story), Meg Tilly (Body Snatchers), and Mark Webber (Green Room) make up the supporting cast.

11. Death Race 2050

It's hard to warrant a purchase for Death Race 2050, when the original Death Race 2000 does the same thing far more successfully, but a Netflix viewing is the perfect way to spend a mindless weekend afternoon. Roger Corman returns to produce a new reboot of the 1975 cult classic. Like many of his productions, it's not a particularly good movie, but it’s an amusing one. It serves as a timely satire under our current administration, with Malcolm McDowell (Halloween) as the Chairman of the United Corporations of America. He hosts a three-day, cross-country race that plays out like NASCAR meets The Hunger Games with a hint of Looney Tunes. Manu Bennett (The Hobbit) assumes the role of half-man/half-machine reigning champion Frankenstein. Read my full review of the film here.

BONUS: American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson

I think Ryan Murphy is brilliant with casting and marketing, but I've always found his storytelling on American Horror Story to be heavily flawed. By basing his latest anthology effort, American Crime Story, on true events, he's able to focus on his strengths without as much concern for sticking the landing. The People v. O.J. Simpson is well worth the 8+ hour commitment; it's engaging even if you lived through the infamous case, doubly so if you don't know all the details. The cast is populated by notable names like John Travolta, Cuba Gooding Jr., David Schwimmer, and Nathan Lane, but it's Sarah Paulson and Sterling K. Brown who steal the show as the defense attorneys.

[frazzledsoul]

Once Upon  A Time, Gilmore Girls, TV show longevity, and Season 6 being the point where it goes horribly, horribly wrong

(Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls content is at the very end, in case you don’t want to hear me go on and on about almost every TV show I’ve ever watched).

Apparently there are some shenanigans afoot in that fairy tale show that somehow has survived long enough on ABC to get to the point where it’s going to need a reset and a massive cast pruning to make it another year.

I won’t comment on the show specifically because I haven’t watched it since the first season. It’s always a little weird to me to see people get so wrapped up in fairy tale characters, but I know it pales in comparison to the ships and fandoms I’ve gotten overinvested in, so I’ll shut up about that now. Apparently the first season villain is now a bona fide protagonist, the initial core couple is getting more or less written off the show, and it appears that a lot of deck chairs are being rearranged to squeeze out one more year of ad revenue.

Whenever a show gets to this point, it’s past time to let go. When a show finds itself in the position of having to toss out its core premise and main character, you guys just need to shut it down before you squeeze out that final season with the inferior replacement character. Everyone always regards that last season as the one that doesn’t count, and yet they always go through with it in the end, no matter what happens. Even if that doesn’t happen, it’s probably wisest to close shop by season five. Because season six is where it all goes horribly wrong, and while the show may remain somewhat watchable after that point if the audience is lucky, it never, ever recovers.

Once Upon A Time is currently in season six. They should be preparing the best way to end the show, not to continue it.

With that in mind, some evidence for and against my theory.

ER

Ah, ER. I’m going to show my age on this one. My first TV fandom, the first angst-filled ship that broke my heart. Yet I feel maybe I shouldn’t include this one, because the cast turned over turned over so many times and people continued to watch the show. Long-running medical shows maybe shouldn’t be included for this reason (I wouldn’t be surprised if Meredith Grey is still soldiering on in Year 20) but for me the year took a sharp turn into melodrama during the fifth season and never recovered. Also, if you are a shipper, you don’t want to see half of the couple you love give birth to their kids alone while the show tries to sell you on who they hope will replace their leading man who became very, very famous and left for notoriety elsewhere. I know the ship got righted at the last minute, but every single second of that season was torture for me and I have no desire to ever relive it. 

Law and Order: Original Recipe

Okay, this is totally cheating, but I don’t care. For the most part, you can pick up a Law and Order episode at any point in its 20 year history, watch for 40 minutes, and you don’t have to know anything about the main characters. It doesn’t matter. However, there were some years the cases and the lineup were better than others, The show’s best season was season five, because you had the dream line-up then. Briscoe. Logan. Mccoy. Kincaid. Nothing better. It stays pretty good in quality until you lose Kincaid after season six, so it’s definitely an exception to the rule. Still, I don’t think it really begins to dip in quality until Elisabeth Rohm shows up in season 12, and it actually gets as good as seasons 7-12 in the last 2 years.

It’s utterly insane to talk about any other show retaining quality with those numbers. Man, I love the Mothership.

And you can’t go really wrong with any episode that has Lenny Briscoe in it.

Castle/Bones

Two lighthearted procedurals/romantic comedies that went on way too long. Brilliant no-nonsense female meets snarky, outmatched man who falls fast and hard. Their fandoms hated each other because the shows were so similar. Which one will be remembered fondly, and which one will be drowned in an avalanche of needless angst?

I’ve only seen the first three seasons of Castle. That said, I always found Castle’s relationship with his daughter and mother to be more interesting than whatever was going on with Beckett. I mean, I enjoy the lead-up to this romance, but I still would have watched a Beckett-less Castle (as bad of an idea as that was) if we had to get to this point. From what I’ve heard, it seems that season six is where things start to get a little complicated, and from then on it gets worse: the missing time, the wedding, the separation, the last-minute reconciliation, the tacked-on happy ending that was still better than the insane plan to kill off Beckett for the last year in order to save money.

Castle may go down as the first show to have its fans beg for its cancellation.

Bones did a lot better, I think. First of all, there were multiple ships and more fleshed-out supporting characters (I actually think I ended up shipping Angela/Hodgins more) and Booth and Brennan were always on a more equal footing, affection-wise. Still, it’s dragged out for way too long, and season six is the point where it begins to get ridiculous. Luckily, Emily Deschanel gets knocked up and we go to instant family the next season and oddly this keeps the ship running smoothly for the rest of the show. Sure, they occasionally have to run away from snipers and maybe-psychotic ex-coworkers, but they don’t need to run into self-made obstacles on the way to domesticity because they’re already there. It’s refreshing.

So, thank you, Emily’s husband, because one can only fathom how much longer it would have taken if the show hadn’t been forced into it. Of course, the show did run too long anyway, but overall I feel content with how things ended. The sixth season wasn’t a curse in this case.

How I Met Your Mother/Friends

I am one of the few people who is actually okay with the HIMYM finale (though they could have pulled it off a million times better) but let’s hold off on that one. The show gets seriously awful in season 5. The writers can’t make Barney and Robin work as a couple for plot reasons, but the the way they choose to have it deteriorate is just terrible. A fat suit and Robin in a hag wardrobe? Um, no. It doesn’t get better when Robin hooks up with the most boring man alive and is willing to cut the rest of the group out for his sake.

The sixth season gets bogged down in that stupid plot about Ted dating the woman who wants to preserve the building he wants to tear down, but we have Barney and his dad and overall it’s not a disastrous season. So it’s an exception to the rule, and I love the seventh season with all of its love polygon shenanigans. I think most of the last two seasons of the show tend to drag because Ted is being very, very selfish with his pining over Robin (especially when Barney had told him earlier that he would give up on Robin if she didn’t want him because he wanted her to be happy most of all and if you’re losing the maturity battle to Barney Stinson, we-el . . .) Given how it all turns out, I think they needed to work those plot twists in earlier on instead of having us mostly listen to Ted whine for a year and a half. So another exception to the rule.

With Friends, the fifth season was the absolute best because it takes the show in a whole new direction and we don’t have to care about Ross and Rachel anymore. The show kind of loses its mojo in the sixth season and never really gets it back. It’s ephemeral and it’s not really something I can put my finger on. But the show was simply never as fun after that. I will say that the Modler proposal really gets to me in a way the show was never able to repeat. So the rule fits, but not in a terribly upsetting fashion.

Dexter

Dexter is a classic case of proving that a shortened season is no guarantee a show won’t still dissolve into chaos because the network refuses to cancel it. I don’t think the show really ever recovered from losing Rita after the fourth season. She grounded Dexter, kept him in the real world, gave him a reason to live up to the code. After she was killed, he got a lot sloppier and it was a lot harder to keep in mind that we’re still supposed to root for him.

Still, the fifth season wasn’t completely terrible, and the sixth season doesn’t begin to go into batshit insane territory until the very end. The show began digging its grave the minute that Debra’s therapist somehow convinces her she is in love with her adoptive brother and it’s a good idea to go chase him down and tell him about it. (Um, seriously? Seriously?) This came way out of left field and made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Knowing how everything ended makes it clear that this was not necessary in any way, shape or form. Debra’s death would have still broken him and sent him off to Lumberjack Purgatory even if they kept the quasi-incest part out of it.

You know you’ve gone too far when a subplot in a show about a serial killer becomes too much to accept. This is definitely one case where the sixth season starts a downward trajectory into something it will never recover from.

Game Of Thrones/The Walking Dead

Both shows are still ongoing, so it’s an open debate as to whether the sixth season will be seen as the season that sinks both shows. However, in this case I think it’s an exception to the rule. 

The fifth season of Game Of Thrones definitely had its worst moments (Sansa’s “marriage”, Shireen’s undeserved burning at the stake, and what they did to my bae Jon Snow) but they all get redeemed in the sixth season, and the show has reached the point where it actually lets our characters um, triumph at certain points? Going beyond the source material actually helped, and I think the sixth season was one of its better seasons.

With The Walking Dead, I don’t think anything in the sixth season was remarkably bad or remarkably good, but the first half of the seventh season was somber and depressing and the show became a chore very, very fast. However, the second half improved things by a lot and the show’s actually become fun again. So again, another exception to the rule.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Buffy took a serious turn for the maudlin in season six and it never recovered. You really can’t sink any lower than killing off sweet, generous Tara just so Willow can have an excuse to hit rock bottom and have to go to Magick Crack Rehab. Willow becomes likable in the seventh season but Buffy never really does: she’s bitter and angry to the end and never really comes to grips with the this thing we call adulthood. The show itself recovers a little in terms of watchability, but its central character remains someone we can’t root for anymore, and it’s kind of sad.

(My favorite characters were always Tara and Anya anyway, so I wasn’t that pissed off about it. But Buffy becomes very hard to sympathize with by the end).

Gilmore Girls

(above is a fairly accurate description of what it was like to watch that season)

Man, season six. Where does one begin? Let’s start off easy. How about the part where humble, ambitious Rory becomes a spoiled, entitled brat who seems content to let her grandmother mold her into a society wife? How about the part where the relationship that forms the backbone of the show becomes a stilted estrangement on account of of Rory’s stubbornness and abject brattiness? If that wasn’t fun enough, what about the part midway through the season where we get caught up in the Lane/Zach soap opera? Barrel full of monkeys! How about the absolute best part? The one where the grumpy-but-loveable male lead of the show, the redneck with the heart of gold, who is his typical sweet, supportive self during the first half of the season, discovers he has a secret tween daughter (holy WTF plot twist), hems and haws about whether he is going to live up his responsibilities (you’re killing me here, guys), keeps it a secret from his fiance so long she finds out accidentally (seriously?) agrees to put off the wedding she has been feverishly planning for (more on that in a minute), refuses to let her meet his kid for incredibly stupid reasons (and I cut Rosenthal a lot of slack for what happened the next season, but guys, come on) mostly fails at the parenting thing despite having half-raised two other kids during the course of the show, and essentially becomes an evasive jerk. If that wasn’t bad enough, the show’s spunky, independent, outspoken heroine actually stays silent about all of this bad behavior (since when has Lorelai been quiet about anything?) before she lets it blow up in a massive public confrontation in the middle of the street because she’s become one of those women who has decided that marriage and kids is more important than anything else (WTF? Are you kidding me? Lorelai Gilmore?) and when she doesn’t get exactly the answer she wants (because she has become whipped into a marriage-centered frenzy and refuses to sit down and sensibly discuss her issues like the commitment-focused GROWN UP she claims to be. Yes, things needed to change but she basically handles the situation in the most immature way possible) runs off and sleeps with her ex-boyfriend to destroy her relationship for good.

What a disaster. There is nothing in that season that can sensibly be salvaged.

I’m on record as forgiving the season 7 writers for the stuff they did that was painful. They let Rory be a responsible and rational human being who can fathom reason and accountability. They let Luke redeem himself and show him to be a sweet, loyal, dependable guy again. They let him be a good dad. They also show him in swim trunks and cuddling a baby on several occasions (I am not opposed to blatant fan service in this regard). I hated all the Lorelai/Christopher stuff but I’m sympathetic with the desire to see this plot through and have Lorelai realize that she doesn’t prize being married above everything else. I hated that she was so many girls I know in real life, the girls who will literally take anyone because they just want to be married so bad, but season 6 made her that girl, and season 7 made her not be that girl anymore. Both she and Luke can get to a place where they can realize what went wrong and apologize to each other and finally reconcile at the end. Much of it wasn’t ideal, but they did fix what had been broken before. 

This show definitely is the core example of how badly a sixth season can screw everything up. 

I don’t know what all of this means for Once Upon A Time, but if they do go ahead with the reboot I suspect it will leave a lot of fans unhappy. Sometimes it’s just better to escape with as much dignity as you can manage. I’m not sure if my theory bears any weight here, but I think it’s generally wise to wrap things up as quickly as you can. Sometimes you get a second wind, but it won’t last.

[aruneshgoyal]

I. HUMAN VALUES AND ETHICS, ANY TAKERS!!!

About human values and ethics, the less said the better. But, what can I do? I am supposed to write a complete book on the subject. So, write I must. But, what can I write? The picture is far from rosy and bright. Wherever I look around, there are no human values or ethics adhered to at all. For the sake of selfishness, human values and ethics have been totally put on the back burner. Is this the scenario our forefathers envisioned?

To answer this little query, I shall now take you through three simple case studies. Case studies are quite popular and are the current norm. I have to go with the tide and the popular opinion. So, here we go!

(A) This one is about a girl who does love a boy in her heart of hearts but publicly accuses him of insincerity towards her when he accosts her with his love. In fact, both of them are students in the final year and due to the constraints, pulls, and pressures of student life, the boy is pushed to situations where he can’t come close to the girl and express his love for her openly. This is the prime reason for the girl’s mistaken notion that the boy is insincere towards her. 

The only show of love the boy had made was a piece of paper on which he had written – “I LOVE YOU!”, and, had passed it on to the girl via one of her student notebooks. To this, the girl had made no reply. Indeed, at first, she had got frightened about the boy’s intentions but, as time went by, she gradually learnt that the boy was totally harmless and meant no harm to her at all. 

This silence of the girl coupled with her sense of humor and a pleasing personality had endeared her to the boy although she was not very attractive physically to look at. The boy was indeed charmed by her beautiful mind (she was the semester topper) and an even more beautiful heart (she was simple, honest, and always willing to help those in genuine need).

Only towards the end of their student life, the boy could muster enough strength and courage to openly accost the girl with his love to which she promptly and angrily said – “No! What’s your problem?”

“The problem is what you did to the piece of paper I had passed on to you!” –the boy replied.  “Oh! That! I had torn it to pieces!”; “You had torn it to pieces! Then, why did you not return the torn pieces to me? I would have burnt them into ashes!”, so, went the conversation between them, suddenly taking an ugly turn.

But, some of the boy’s later on actions were enough to convince the girl that he was indeed sincere towards her. So, she now started making advances towards him, even deliberately going to the extent of provoking the feelings of jealousy in him by showing her interest in another male student. 

But, this was too much for the boy who had all along been nursing the feelings of love towards her and now, his pent up emotions literally gave way to sobbing, weeping, and crying like a child. With great difficulty, he somehow managed to control himself and with a choked heart and in a choked voice, he told her to leave him at that. “Human Values & Ethics”, any Takers!

(B) A man and a woman are happily married for two years now. The woman is older to the man by three to four years and is the senior earning member of the family with the man being a freelance writer. They have no children, just as yet. 

The woman is happy to spend from her pocket as long as the man satisfies her sexually and fulfills her sexual needs, but, as soon as the man says – “No” to her sexual demands, she gets very much upset and steams out of the house like a wounded tigress.

Gradually, it became an everyday affair and finally, the man could take it no longer. On one hand, his income was low and on the other hand, his better-half was constantly nagging and rebuking him. His health was also not getting any better as he began to avoid lunch for lack of peace at home. One day, he told the woman – “Look! It’s okay that you are earning more than me. But, it is I who is taking care of all the household chores as well as bringing daily bread etc. from the market. You are simply enjoying life having no regard for me and my feelings. So, it would be better that we separate.”

The woman said – “Okay! If you want it this way, let it be so.” Thereupon, she forcibly proceeded to put a lock on the premises and went to her parents’ house. The man pleaded with the woman – “Where shall I live? Please let me stay on and in case you want a divorce, I shall even somehow try to pay you the alimony even though you are not entitled to it as there is no issue out of our wedlock and secondly, you are a past divorcee as well, and finally, you are earning enough as a government employee while I am out of regular work.”

The woman refused to listen to her husband’s repeated pleas and even threatened to call in the police in case he tried to open the lock. Gradually, the news of the rift and the split spread far and wide in the neighbor-hood but none of them came to the rescue of the beleaguered man. Either they were afraid of the police or took sides with the woman due to her sensuality and riches. “Human Values & Ethics”, any Takers!

(C) A boy and a girl are madly in love with each other. The girl says – “Dear, I have seen you in my wonderful dreams so many times as my husband in the last six births; so, I have no doubt that you are my husband-to-be in this present birth too!” The boy slowly digests this information without replying. The girl then asks – “Dear, how do I look like? You see, I am already nearing forty and a mother of one girl child at that!”  “It doesn’t matter! You are nice, sweet, and smart just like the Moon, you see!” – replies the boy, albeit a bit demurely and shyly. 

Thereupon, the girl makes it a point to call upon the boy every evening without missing a single day to inquire about his achievements for the day. Now, what can anybody achieve in this short span of life, especially, a single day. Even ‘Rome was not built in a day’! But, for girls, at least most of them, it’s the other way round. They want too much, too fast. The nagging inquiries, finally, told upon the boy’s health since at times, he just didn’t know what to say; he was just flabbergasted and dumb-founded. 

The girl’s parents, in the meanwhile got a hint and an inkling of their girl’s affairs. Personally, they had nothing against the boy, but, in their eyes, the ultimate cruel question mattered most. Is the boy earning something or will he be dependent upon their beloved girl’s salary? They even invited the boy along with his parents to showcase their interest as also to get rid of their constant worries. They appreciated the boy’s sincerity and love, but, at the same time, voiced their concern about his income. The girl, on her part, tried her best, through all her means and sources, to secure a job for the boy. But, it all proved futile and in vain.

One fine morning, the girl told the boy that her colleagues at work often tampered with her and she could bear it no longer. She had made up her mind to marry him, she firmly told the boy. Thereupon, she even went to a nearby priest, along with her elder sister, to ask him about an auspicious date for the much wonted occasion. She returned happily and told the boy of her visit and that the priest had told them to marry within the next five months. 

The boy found the things a bit like a make-believe movie, but, gave his, by now taken for granted, consent nevertheless. The girl then told the boy about her dreams of how they would live happily after the marriage, how she would not carry out any household chores (of course, there would be a maid to take care of all that rotten stuff!), and above all, how her daughter would continue to study at the same school as they would be living in a rented apartment just nearby her current residence. The boy’s parents would, of course, have to live on their own and would be called in only later on, at some suitable later date. 

The boy just couldn’t believe his luck only to be told a week later that the girl’s mother did not approve of the relationship they had developed and had told her to back out of it. The girl, thereupon, told the boy to “cut it out!” and piss off. The boy was aghast and taken aback at the sudden turn of events. When he sounded his protest, the girl coolly told him that they could only share a (professional) relationship now and nothing more! “Human Values & Ethics”, any Takers!

All the aforesaid three episodes (case studies) showcase and depict a lack of basic human values and ethics. It is not that they are completely absent. You can yourself try to figure out which of the aforementioned characters are based on the right human values and ethical principles and which are based on the wrong human values and ethical principles. Even, in case of negative characters and personalities, there are traces of positive values. But, before you proceed to do so, I must introduce, at this very juncture, the concept of rightful human values and ethics.

There are five basic or fundamental rightful human values. Of them, truth is the foremost human value. Right conduct, right action, and righteousness form the second human value. Peace is the third human value. Love is the quintessential fourth human value. Last, but not the least, non-violence is the final fifth human value. Ethics is nothing but a code of morals to be followed in personal and professional life or real practical life based on these five fundamental human values, namely, Truth, Right Conduct / Right Action / Righteousness, Peace, Love, and Non-violence.

Although I have introduced the concept of human values, you would be wondering about the real definition of a ‘value’ as such. Indeed, by definition, a ‘value’ can be defined as anything which makes life really worthwhile. You can now yourself weigh the aforementioned five values on the touchstone of this definition. In fact, these five values are the mainstay of the entire philosophy of life and give us in a nutshell, the core of basic value-based education. 

Truth is related to the intellectual aspect of life. The intellect decides what is right, what is wrong, what is good, what is evil, and so on. One must discard the evil and keep the good. The choice will have to be made by filtering each and everything with our conscience or the heart that is the seat of our conscience. Thus, heart enables us to arrive at the truth. We have said that truth is a human value? Why? Because animals do not pose questions like – “Who am I?”; “Where I have come from?”, “Where shall I go?” etc. In other words, they do not search for the truth as we must all do. And, we all have the intelligence and the intuitive faculty to search for the ultimate truth of life.

Similarly, animals perform actions mainly guided by their basic instincts without judging between good and evil. But, an upright man will make his life useful and purposeful by performing the rightful action only. He will discriminate between good and evil, between right and wrong, and then only perform the action accordingly by the use of his discriminating power. A person who doesn’t behave in the rightful manner is at the mercy of his senses and his behavior is more akin to that of an animal rather than a human being.

Again, we have the mental/emotional aspect and the human value of peace. Our mind is the seat of all thoughts and all desires. If our desires are not fulfilled, we lose our equanimity and sense of peace. We often regret the past and fear or worry about the future. This, once again, upsets the tranquil waves of our mind and we lose our mental state of equilibrium. Herein, there is a distinction between needs and desires. Animals have needs but no desires. And, they fulfill their needs automatically guided by their instinct of self preservation. Man not only has desires but improper desires. 

How can he be happy? He not only wants all the riches for himself but harbors wicked thoughts for others. These include thoughts of jealousy, envy, avarice, covetousness, and other passionate thoughts. Man must behave like a man from the emotional point of view as well and not like a wild animal. In fact, even a wild animal such as a ferocious tiger kills but only to satisfy his pangs of hunger. On the other hand, man is never satisfied and content with what he has but pines for more and more. Where is the end? What will all this lead him to? Only self-destruction and nothing else!

Love, as we have said, is the quintessential fourth human value. It corresponds to the psychic energy or the little spark present in his heart. Animals too have this spark. So, what is so great about it? Well, animals, at best, can love their young and preserve their species. Man alone has the faculty to expand his love to wide horizons. If he were to stop at just loving his own family, he would be behaving just like an animal. And, if he were to descend even lower than this and not even have love for his own direct relations or offspring, he would be worse than an animal and unworthy to be called a human being. 

Finally, we are at the end of our journey with the final human value, which is non-violence. Herein, there is a complete and total expansion of love and man experiences universal love. Non-violence implies not only to not hurt physically but also not to inflict wounds by means of words or thoughts as well. Animals can at best love their own offspring or as in the case of pets such as a dog who can wag his tail in approval when his master feeds or loves him, but they can never reach universal love, which is the sole destiny of man. But, to reach this state of universal love or complete non-violence, man has to make sincere efforts in this direction, and weed out the cobwebs of lust, anger, greed, attachment/delusion, and egoism. 

Then, and only then, his final redemption or emancipation is possible!