#halailah

[beardedmrbean]

For his years of dedicated service to the realm, a Jewish man is to be knighted by the queen. And he is very excited; there's never been a knight in his family before!

He decides to do some reading up on the subject, and learns that there's a lot more to the knighting ceremony than simply showing up and having the queen tap a sword on your shoulders. There are specific things that you're supposed to say and do the whole time, and most of the things you're supposed to say are in Latin, a language which he absolutely does not speak. But, like all nice Jewish boys, he puts his nose in his books and studies like crazy for weeks.

And finally, the big day arrives. He's waiting with all the other soon-to-be knights, and one by one, they all go before the queen, kneel, say their part in Latin, and off they go. And finally, it's his turn. He makes his way forward, he kneels before the queen, and-

*whoosh*, the Latin that he worked so hard to memorize just goes flying straight out of his brain. He knows he's supposed to say something; he doesn't remember what it is, though, and now everybody's looking at him. And in a panic, he simply blurts out the first non-English phrase he can think of:

Mah nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot?

And the queen looks at him for a moment, then turns to her chancellor next to her, and asks, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

This feels wrong,

Maybe I did mean that

closer, let's click that did you mean one more time

To be fair I already knew what it said from the first one and had a laugh, but it's fun to let other people see how awful google translate can be, especially since it started out with Arabic.

[fdelopera]

Two Moon Knight Headcanons for Pesach…

As we prepare to sit down for the second night Seder, as we prepare to dip our karpas in salt water and eat charoset and maror, here are two Moon Knight headcanons, one sweet and one bitter. These are in remembrance of tears and sweat and blood, but also in celebration of the freedom from the “Pharaohs” that hold us captive…

1st Pesach headcanon:

This Seder takes place a few years after the events in 2025 (Jewish year 5785). The MK System have had more time for system communication, and Jake starts reaching out to them. They're celebrating Pesach, all crowding near the front. And this night (unfortunately the same as most other nights), Khonshu shows up unannounced and uninvited. So predictable. After all, he's a "I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me" kind of birb.

Pesach celebrates the Jewish people's escape from slavery in Egypt. And Khonshu is, of course, an Egyptian deity, still holding a Jewish system captive.

The irony is not lost on Steven.

So the MK System are reclining at the Pesach table. Layla's there too. Steven is reading from the Haggadah, and they get to the recitation of the 10 Plagues.

Steven starts listing off the Plagues, placing a drop of wine on the plate for each to remember the suffering of the Egyptian people, and as he does, he makes full eye contact with Khonshu.

“Water turning to blood ... frogs ... lice ... wild beasts ... pestilence of the livestock…”

And Khonshu starts feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

Finally, Steven gets to the plague of "boils" and Khonshu has had enough. He gets up from the table and makes some moon-related excuse (since of course Pesach starts on a full moon). Then he gets really tiny, and woosh! He just nopes right out of there. Layla and Steven breathe a sigh of relief, while Marc and Jake can relax a little. There will be more than enough time for Khonshu’s shenanigans after Pesach is over.

2nd Pesach headcanon:

This headcanon is from their childhood. It seems likely that Steven was around for a lot of their Hebrew studies. The extreme cognitive and emotional dissonance of having to pretend to be a "good Jewish boy" from a good family in Hebrew school was not safe for Marc or Jake. Plus, Steven was always interested in historical languages, and so whenever they're in a Jewish context like at Shabbat service or Hebrew school, or celebrating some semblance of a Jewish holiday at home, Steven is often triggered front.

But one Pesach, Steven isn't out. It isn't safe. Wendy has been trying to keep up appearances, making some attempt at kashering the kitchen. But this year, it's just led to more screaming. It's the last year that she even attempts to prepare for Pesach.

Then in a last ditch effort to salvage the holiday, Elias reaches out to a cousin, and they get invited over for the Seder.

This tía and tío don’t know the extent of what goes on in the Spector house. But the tía welcomes them in, and she is kind to Jake. He doesn’t even mind that she calls him Marc. It’s enough to have a place that is safe from the yelling.

The MK System are maybe thirteen or fourteen at this point. And since the tía's children are all older, in their late teens, she asks "Marc" as the youngest child to ask the Four Questions.

But Jake is fronting today. And Jake doesn't know Hebrew. (That's Steven's thing.)

The Haggadah has a Hebrew transliteration, but even with that, Jake stumbles through. He tries his best to wrap his tongue around the unfamiliar words.

Jake begins by asking the question:

Mah nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot?

(How is this night different from all other nights?)

Then he asks the Four Questions:

1. Sheb'chol haleilot anu ochlin chametz umatzah, halailah hazeh, kuloh matzah.

(On all other nights, we eat leavened foods and matzah. Why on this night, only matzah?)

2. Sheb'chol haleilot anu ochlin sh'ar y'rakot, halailah hazeh, maror.

(On all other nights, we eat all vegetables. Why, on this night, bitter herbs?)

3. Sheb'chol haleilot ein anu matbilin afilu pa'am echat; halailah hazeh, sh'tei f'amim.

(On all other nights, we don't dip our food even once. Why on this night do we dip twice?)

4. Sheb'chol haleilot anu ochlin bein yoshvin uvein m'subin; halailah hazeh, kulanu m'subin.

(On all other nights, we eat either sitting upright or reclining. Why on this night do we all recline?)

Jake stammers, and repeats words, and tries his best to dig into the memories that he knows are there somewhere. The memories of ... someone learning this at shul. Even though his memory of their Hebrew school is so hazy. It’s just disjointed images, and the remembrance of muffled voices as if he’s underwater, as someone else goes through the motions of studying. But he’s always watchful, in case one of the bullies in class starts making fun of their rumpled clothes and mess of unkempt curls, and the way that they quietly rock in their chair and fiddle with the cuffs of their shirtsleeves. Jake is great at making escapes from bullies and finding places to hide ... and when push comes to shove, his arms and legs are proficient at punching, kicking, thrashing...

Right now, Jake wants to run and hide. He is terrified that he's messed up. He’s terrified that the tía is going to yell at him. Or worse, that Wendy is going to start in on him. The expectation is clearly that he should be able to pronounce the Hebrew words fluently.

But to his surprise, the tía tells him, "Thank you, Marc. Good job." And she smiles at him.

That little gesture of kindness makes him want to cling to her. To beg her to stay at her home, at least for that night. He dreads going back. Wendy looks displeased with his performance, and Elias looks worried, and Jake is sure he's going to hear about it when they get back to the house.

But for those few hours celebrating the Jewish people's escape from slavery, Jake feels relatively safe. His tía and tío will protect him while he's a guest in their home.

That night, Jake realizes something profound. He realizes that Wendy is his Pharaoh.

At Pesach, we Jews are often asked to think about who is the "Pharaoh" in our life. Who or what is it that is keeping us trapped? And what are some ways to break those chains that bind?

Jake understands that Wendy is the one keeping him in chains. And in that moment, like Moses, he starts looking for ways to escape captivity. There's got to be a way out, a Red Sea that will part for him. On that night, Jake starts making plans for extraction.

Throughout their life, I imagine that Pesach would resonate with Jake. And it is not a decision he takes lightly to stay bound to Khonshu after Marc and Steven are freed. It's for their protection, but at what cost? The bonds of servitude are never worth it. And Jake knows that at some point, he's going to have to start making extraction plans again.

[pargolettasworld]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFGvgFywrEc

Now here is a grand old Song That Goes Like This!  Many of us may have grown up singing the Four Questions to That Tune.  Ma nishtana halailah hazeh mi-kol haleilot?  I’ve been teaching this text to my Hebrew students for weeks now . . . but I’ve only just learned its origin.

Like any good Song That Goes Like This, it’s much newer than you’d expect, it has a known composer, it originally sounded rather different, and there is an Origin Story.*

It was composed in 1936 by Ephraim Abileah, who was born in Russia in 1881, the son of a hazzan, and one of the founders of the Society for Jewish Folk Music in St. Petersburg.  Get this . . . he composed this tune for an oratorio, of all things, called “Chag Hacherut,” the Holiday of Freedom.  The oratorio only seems to have been performed once, but this song achieved immortality.  Albeit in a much simplified form.  But this is the original arrangement.  Prior to this, the Four Questions were just plain chanted.  And then along came Ephraim Abileah, who gave us this great tune.  Thank you to Ephraim Abileah!

*The story of how it became a Song That Goes Like This is pretty standard.  People heard it, they liked it, they sang it, it got reprinted in children’s songsters with Abileah’s name mysteriously absent . . . within a generation, the Folklore Process has consumed it.

[jumblr-described]

[image id: screenshot of a Reddit post with the title: A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.

The content of the post is:

He is to kneel in front of the King and recite a sentence in Latin when His Majesty taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:

"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."

Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

The post has 1,125 likes and 49 comments.

One of those comments, made by u/Berkamin and with 656 likes, is included under the post and reads: This is fantastic.

But I'm afraid this joke will pass over most people's heads. /.End id]

FJSJFJAJFJAHFOSJHDJAJDHAHDJAJDHA

[monsooninn]

Berakhot 9b: 9. "The Wondering Jew."

The line of the Kings of Israel has never lasted more than three hours. Israel is not the powerhouse industrialized nation like those whose nipple tits it is suckling from because its past kings were nefarious, notorious, lazy, corrupt, crooked, and cockeyed. But a few of them did not get power mad, pussy whipped, or pushed around by their friends and also their enemies. The nation, as a result, like its kings did not last.

So how do we last longer than a mere three hours if we try again? How do we not drown in a sea of violence? The Talmud says there are Three Shifts or changes in human composition that are needed if a Fourth is to be possible, and the Fourth cannot be a continuation. Something new must happen.

We know the appearance of a Tzaddik will be new and fantastic, he will free the world from black and white thinking, but now the Mishnah says there are additional pairs of opposites humanity must pare down to one Gemara, also called a fourth hour.

On the Fourth Day, the sun, the moon, and the stars come out. The Gemara on these say "the mean, in the circle, round them off." It also says a Reporter will draw the circle. We have the Reporter but not the circle: we have entered the new Aeon because a Third World War replete with a holocaust of the Jewish people has started again. Nothing constructive or effective is being to remove power from its heating elements, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Republican Party, Donald Trump, the Russians and the master of disaster himself, Charles Mary. All of this, all of it, is taking place on his turf, on his watch.

Most importantly, Israel has not reconstituted with the Holy Land its ancestral property, nor have the Muslims attained properly to Masjid, the Arabic complement to the Mashiach. Muslims who are a sibling of the Israelites, were nearly blamed for October 7 by the Mormons and would surely have all been annihilated for it if the ruse of their involvement in the Gazan Terror Tunnels was not exposed.

All of this now being on the dashboard, things are going too slowly to address the repurcussions of Israel's absence from the game. Our modern understanding of the Mishnah says we need a hot hawk, "fast, not slow. Fast."

Once the Report is made things must change. Failure to change means the Poles, black and white and now blue and white and others will forever remain separate, and the Masjid, the Mashiach and the Aeon connote the opposite effect.

Recall life split in two the night the Black Pillar fell: God told the Israelites, "kill one more time, then live."

"At midnight of 15 Nissan 2448 (1313 BCE), G‑d broke the last manacle of Egyptian bondage by killing all Egyptian firstborn, and the nation of Israel was born as a free people.

The time is significant: twice1 the Torah emphasizes that the event occurred exactly at midnight, and to this day, midnight is a factor in our annual re-experience of the Exodus at the Seder held each year on the eve of 15 Nissan. (Midnight is the deadline for the eating of the matzah and the bitter herbs, for the eating of the meat of the Passover offering, and for eating the afikoman which today represents the Passover offering at our Seder.)

But can an event actually take place at midnight? It would seem not. If midnight is the line that divides the night in two, then it is not a time period of any duration.

No matter how minute a time-particle we might envision as occupying the center of the night, this particle can itself be halved—its first half would belong to the first half of the night, and its second half to the post-midnight half of the night. Indeed, a more literal translation of the Hebrew words kachatzot halailah, rendered above as “at midnight,” would read “as the night divides.” How, then, can anything be said to occur at the time that the night divides?"

The Egyptians, the Mormons etc. AKA the Condederation are our paschal lambs. Their final blood will protect the door to the future for all the people who believe in Israel for all the ages to come.

For this to happen, for an end to all delusion, suspicion, superstition and mythologizing of the Jew to stop, and for Israel to be a cosmically accepted phenomenon, the mouth of the damned river needs to be shut.

9. Matni' from Imaty Corinne heard Shema in the morning? Distinguishes between light blue and white. Rabbi Eliezer says: Between Teklet and Kirti. And finished, up to the hot hawk, Rabbi Yehoshua says up to three hours, for it is the way of kings to stand for three hours.

=

The lumbar, the grain store, Korin With Me heard Shema in the morning? Distinguishes between light blue and white. The Master of the Disciplines of Eli Ezer, "bring me succor" says: Between the Record and the Critical. And finished, up to the hot hawk, He is God, says up to three hours, for it is the way of kings to stand for three hours.

The reason Israel is a figment of our imaginations is because it has not been able to bring succor to humanity in God's Name only profound, lasting, and significant amounts of anguish.

This is not our fault certainly not but "they started this fight but by God we are going to finish it."

It is unfortunately the job of the Jewish people to go on a vendetta against those that have wronged them and be rid of them for good. This will require something Israel has never had in recent times, a King and an army that is willing to remain loyal to him and a nation that can sustain itself.

God says in this Gemara to raise an army of the meanest, most powerful ilk and put it to use in exacting tribute from a world that has exceeded its limits, that has ignored God and taken Him for granted and here is how we can do it:

"The identical noun κορος (koros), also spelled κουρος (kouros), means son in the sense of boy or lad. This word stems from the Proto-Indo-European root "ker-", meaning to grow or become bigger (hence too the familiar Latin verb creo, from which English gets the verb to create). This PIE root is suspiciously similar to the Hebrew root כרר (karar), which describes circular motions with the added nuance of amassing something within the circle so formed.

Our noun κορος (koros) isn't used independently in the Bible, but it's part of the name Dioscuri, and from it derive:

Combined with the prefix επι (epi), meaning on or onto: the noun επικουρος (epikouros), which denotes auxiliary troops as opposed to the military force formed from πολιτης (polites), civilians. In other words: the elite army consisted of the "sons", and the επικουρος (epikouros) were the "for-the-sons" or "in addition to the sons". This word appears in the New Testament only as the name Epicurean, but from it in turn comes:

The noun επικουρια (epikouria), meaning help (from auxiliary, non-native troops). This noun occurs in ACTS 26:22 only, quite tellingly in Paul's declaration that God gave him epikouria, that's help from non-natives or gentiles."

As the Gemara says we must be able to appeal to others whom the Mormons and Republicans and King have harmed and rally; we must make big promises we can keep. The biggest of them all is the Mashiach, an era of lasting health and peace that touches every living thing on this planet. Our enemies are not promising this to anyone, that leaves this task to us.

That being said, it is time to set the record straight. Those fuckers have been raping and murdering and terrorizing Jews, Muslims, black people and gay people for decades with impunity and this time they blew it big time- they tunneled under israel and attacked Jewish people on sacred soil. They have to die because of it.

They aren't planning to help the poor or lost, reduce the temperature of bring love and belonging anywhere on this world. It is time to find the time, the energy and the will power, the space between the blue and white sky where the Magen David sits and execute the Torah.

The Values in Gematria are:

a. Matni' from Imaty Corinne heard Shema in the morning? Distinguishes between light blue and white. The Number is 4919, דט‎אט, "Data: If you are religious..."

b. Rabbi Eliezer says: Between Teklet and Kirti. And finished, up to the hot hawk, Rabbi Yehoshua says up to three hours, for it is the way of kings to stand for three hours. The Number is 10255, יבהה‎ ‎ ‎, "...she wondered?"

Do you know what Israel means? Why as a concept, a precept, a dictate and a nation it is the most important vitamin missing from our diet? Israel means "to surpass one's savage nature." We have not done this because man is inherently corrupt and has not chosen to be sentient instead.

Do you at last understand? Why things are going wrong all around this planet, and what will happen if we donot restore Israel to it? I have made an effective argument, it is time for all of us to die and to be reborn. Some of us will be reborn in the fires of hell but that is as it must be. The rest will be born blue and white, AKA yevzd, "footsteps, welfare, aid, charity, then feast."

Enough with the faith healing and the religion. Government is a science and a duty, we are failing at it and this world is going tilt. Perform the prescribed works and set it right.

[starfightervicki]

A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:

"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."

Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

[bitchfromtheseventhhell]

“Arya, can you help me with the beds?”

Arya scrunches up her face.  She hasn’t had her coffee yet and she’s running on less sleep than she’d like. That’s the nature of law school, especially when you’ve spent the week trying to get ahead on work so that you can come home for pesach.

“Yeah.”  She stretches and makes a noise like a cat before pulling herself out of bed.  She glances at her phone and sees the bubbles that tell her she’s got some texts waiting for her eyes.  “Just a sec.  I need to see if Gendry’s texted.”

He has, saying that he’s at the airport, and that there don’t seem to be any delays, so he should be arriving in a few hours.  Robb and Jeyne will give him a ride with Myriame and Donnel.  She hopes that Gendry survives her niece and nephew, because they have more energy in them than even she could manage sometimes, and Gendry doesn’t have a big family to prepare him.

She puts her phone in the pocket of her—well, Gendry’s—sweatpants, snaps her hair into a messy pony tail, and goes into the hallway.  Her mother is at the other end, digging through the closet by the bathroom for sheets.

“Everything smooth?” Catelyn asks, and Arya nods.

“Yep.  He should be all set.”

“I hope Robb doesn’t give him a hard time,” her mother says, and Arya’s stomach twists.  She’d texted Jeyne to make sure that Robb didn’t get too intense about everything. He’d made poor Pod almost cry when he’d first met him, but then again Pod was more nervous than Gendry ever was.  But that wasn’t what she was nervous about.  Not at all.

“Where’s dad?” she asks.  Usually her dad is the first person that mom asks for help.  Rickon’s useless—still too much of a teenager to be remotely awake at this hour, and a college kid besides.  But usually dad’s here holding the pile of linens that mom keeps adding to until they’re ready to make their way through the house.

“He’s bringing his whiskey over to the Manderlys,” Catelyn says.

“What?” Arya asks.  “That’s late.”

“They couldn’t make the timing work.  It’s been in the car for the past week,” Catelyn sighs.  “Dad says hashem won’t mind so long as it’s not in the house.” She rolls her eyes.  Arya snorts.  It’s a very dad thing to say—at least about the whiskey.  God forbid that there be any chametz left in the house, or a loaf of bread in the garage, but his whiskey collection can be in the trunk of the car, so long as he sells it to Wyman Manderly for a dollar like he does every year.  

“What was wrong with the timing?” Arya asks.  The whole point was that Wyman and dad worked in the same office. Easy enough to do a swap after work one day.

“Wylis has been in the hospital.  Something about his heart.  So Wyman’s mostly been working from home, and you know your father—didn’t want to intrude. But when he suggested he store his whiskey elsewhere, Wyman blustered about breaking traditions.”  Catelyn began loading Arya’s arms with sheets.  

“I have Sansa and Podrick in the guest room and Robb’s kids in Sansa’s room,” Catelyn told her as she moved on to pillowcases.

“And Jon and Ygritte?” Arya asks calmly.  Her mother’s face keeps its expression.  “They’ll be down in the basement.  Your father and I had it redone.  Have you seen it?  It’s quite nice.  Gives them some privacy.”

Arya bites back a snort.  Last year, they’d all been able to hear Jon and Ygritte a little too clearly for them to end up on the second floor this year—especially now that Donnel was old enough to ask his parents why Uncle Jon was making those sounds.  It was almost too smooth a solution—keeping Jon out of her mother’s way.  

Jon said things were better now than they had been when they’d been kids. Something about therapy and changing his role in the dynamic, but he hadn’t elaborated much on that.  Arya knows from Bran that mom had been seeing a therapist too, but that would be more of a brick wall than Jon.  At least when it came to Jon.  She’d never known how to talk to her mother about Jon, or to Jon about her mother.  None of them really do.

Arya follows her mother into the guest room.  The bed had been stripped after whoever had last stayed there, and Catelyn hasn’t remade it yet.  Arya notices there is an egg-crate pad on there now.

“That’s new,” she points out.

“Yes.”  Catelyn sounds pleased with herself.  “Petyr suggested it when I last saw him.  Said it’s the perfect solution for someone who likes a firm mattress but doesn’t want to feel like they’re sleeping on a board.  I thought it would be good for Sansa, especially,” her smile widens, “given the news.”

“Right,” Arya says quickly.

Sansa is pregnant with her first child, and she and Pod are over the moon about it.  Doubly so for her mom, who wants nothing less than about eighty grandchildren, and Arya does her best to ignore the pointed look her mother is giving her as she placed the sheets on top of the dresser to find the queen-sized bottom sheets.  

She should have known better to expect that the question would go unasked, though.

“So, things are serious with Gendry?”

“I guess,” Arya says, and she hands two corners of the bottom sheet to her mother, who pulls them to the far side of the mattress.  

“You’ve never brought a boyfriend home for pesach,” Catelyn observed.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend at pesach,” Arya pointed out.  For the most part, her relationships all fell apart mid-spring.  She wasn’t sure why.  Maybe it was that relationships were for the winter—snuggling under a blanket and watching movies, but the moment the snow began to melt, Arya wanted to be outside, wanted to be moving, and the change didn’t sit well with the partner in question.  Law school changed that, she supposed.  Law school had changed everything.  

“Sure, sure,” her mother said, her voice too light, and Arya rolled her eyes.

“I mean it, mom.”

“I know, Arya,” her mother says, matching her tone.  Arya goes and grabs a top-sheet and she and she passes the corners over to her mother.  They air the sheet out, and Arya snaps some of the creases out before they put it on the bed.  Catelyn tugs at the corners, making sure that it’s smooth before she goes to the armchair in the corner and grabs the blankets that have been thrown there on top of the pillows.

“He hasn’t been to a seder before.” Catelyn doesn’t quite ask it, nor does she quite state it.  It’s that special kind of question that is more a demand for confirmation or denial than asking for an answer.  

“Not that I know of,” Arya says.  “I don’t think he had too much exposure to Jewish life growing up.”

“He’s not a child anymore, though.  You said he was an engineer?”

“Yeah,” Arya says.  “Product design for Mott’s.”

“I was reading an article about Mott’s the other day,” her mother says as they straighten the blankets.  “What was I reading?  Something about how they’re working on a rebrand of their sedan line.  Does he work on the sedans?”

“I think so,” Arya shrugs.  She doesn’t actually know what kinds of cars Gendry works on.  He calls them mostly by their work codes.  The Bull’s Head, or the Sword, and never the make of the car, and always the fucking driver’s side interface that no one can agree on, or the head of crash testing who keeps making snide comments about how nothing is ever done on time.  

“And he’s Robb’s age?” Catelyn presses.  Arya steels herself.  She supposes better to get it over with now before Gendry’s here.

“He’s a few months younger.  We met through Uncle Benjen’s friend Yoren after the election.  He’s an only child, and his mom died a few years ago, so he’s basically alone in the world.  He’s not Jewish.”

“I knew he wasn’t Jewish,” Catelyn says quickly, “I know—”

“I need you to not make a single comment about that at any point.” Arya says firmly.  If she can convince her mom, it’ll be easier with everyone else.  Her mom had loved that line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding about how the father’s the head of the family, but the mother’s the neck and the neck turns the head wherever she wants it to go.  And while Arya couldn’t quite say that was true of her parents’ marriage, Catelyn Stark is certainly capable of steering a conversation, or steering people clear of it, which is what Arya needs right now.  “I need no one to make a comment about it at any point.”

Catelyn’s eyebrows had flown up at the steel in Arya’s voice.

“There’s nothing wrong with his not being Jewish,” her mother responds, sniffing slightly as if the conversation were undignified in some way. Arya grabs a pillow and stuffs it into a pillowcase.

“I know that,” Arya says.  “But if Robb brings it up, you know he’ll do it in a way that turns it into a thing, and I’ll know that it’s about Gendry’s not being Jewish, but I promise that Gendry will think it’s about Gendry’s being black, and no one wants that to happen, so please.”

Catelyn sighs and sits down on the newly made bed.  She pats the spot next to her and Arya sits down at her side, and Cat wraps her arm around Arya’s shoulder.

“I know you’re nervous,” she says.  “We love you and want you to be happy.  That’s the most important part.”

“Yeah, but if Robb pulls out the matriarchal Judaism discussion and Jeyne backs him up about how it’s proto-feminist I’m gonna flip a table,” Arya says gruffly, and Catelyn sniffs in a way that could be hiding either disapproval or laughter, depending on how fondly she is deciding to remember Arya’s and Jeyne’s Yom Kippur break-fast debate. “They’ll talk about Gendry converting the way Pod did, and I’m gonna be…”

“What’s the matter honey,” Catelyn says, and she runs her hair over Arya’s hair, smoothing it.  For the sharpest moment, Arya thinks of Jon, who always used to mess up her hair, and there’s a bittersweet connection of her mother fondly doing the opposite. Arya bites her lip and looked around the room.  It still had Sansa’s ballet paintings that she’d done in high school, framed and hung on the wall.  Arya had never really been much of a visual artist, though she had drawn stick figures in her physics notebook.  Nothing like Sansa’s paintings.  Arya gets to her feet and goes to get the sheets.  She jerks her head towards the hallway, and Catelyn gets up, following her.

“It’s that I…I don’t know how serious this is,” Arya says.  “We’re getting to start having that conversation. I really like him.  And I know he really likes me.  But I’m a 1L, and he is older than me, and I…” She begins unfolding the sheets for the bed that Robb and Jeyne will share when they arrive.  “I don’t know.  Most of my relationships have been such nonstarters, but Gendry’s good for me. And I don’t…” She looks at her mother carefully.  Now’s when her mother would historically start clucking and making noises about how she’s just being silly and that’s how all early relationships feel and start talking about when she started dating Arya’s father.  Arya wants that suddenly, something comforting from her mother.

But maybe it’s just that they’ve gotten older than when Arya was a girl, or it is the therapy that Bran had mentioned on the phone, but Catelyn says simply, “It’s scary.  To want someone and to think this might be it, but not to be sure.”

Arya blinks back…not tears.  She’s not close to crying by any means.  But there’s a sharpness in her eyes and she blinks it back.  “You’ve been dating for six months you said?”  Arya nods, and Catelyn hands her the corners of the fitted sheet to put on the bed.  “Six months can be a lot when you’re in your twenties.  It can be nothing, but it can be a lot.  And for what it’s worth, the reason we’re all so excited about him is not because he’s the first boy you’ve brought home for pesach, but because of the way you talk about him.”

“The way I talk about him?” Arya says blankly.

Catelyn nods, and there’s the comforting smile that Arya had wanted moments before.  But it’s not knowing, or motherly.  It’s something else that Arya can’t quite place.  “You have this steadiness to it.  It’s hard to describe.  I wouldn’t begin to call you steady.”  She looks at Arya hesitantly, and Arya laughs.

“Fair,” and Catelyn’s smile widens.

“But when you talk about him, or how your life is going, you seem peaceful. And it’s not that you’re not excited or stressed by school.  But you should hear yourself compared to when Robb was in law school.  He was in way over his head, and stumbled sideways into Jeyne and it worked, but it didn’t make him steadier.  You seem like you’ve got someone who can be your rock.”

Her rock.  Arya lets out a breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding, swallows and focuses on the top sheet that she and her mother are now spreading over the bed.  Her mom called dad her rock.  

“Did I scare you even more?” Cat asks as she spreads the blankets over the top sheet.

“Now you really can’t bring up that Pod converted for Sansa,” Arya says dryly and Cat chuckles and kisses her daughter’s forehead.

“You’ll get through it.  And if Robb says something, I’ll make him eat the extra matzah.”

Arya shudders.  “God, Gendrys’ going to love matzah isn’t he?”

“Pod still likes it,” Cat observes.  “Maybe they’ll eat us clear for the rest of the holiday.”

Downstairs, she hears the door slam and her father calls, “I’m without whiskey.  Here’s hoping he doesn’t stiff me this year when I go to buy it back.”

“Send Robb in to sue him?” she hears Bran say and Arya perks up.  

“Bran you’re awake?” she calls, and her mother nods at her and she scampers from the room and down the stairs.  Bran had been asleep when she’d gotten in last night and she wraps her arms around him and kisses the top of his head.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Bran grins, and he looks up at her from his chair.  He’s unshaven and his beard is redder than his hair, like Robb’s, which makes Arya grin.

“Do they even allow that on tv?” she asks him, patting his scruff.  Bran had not shocked but mildly surprised everyone by majoring in media and broadcasting, and had surprised everyone even more by landing a gig on a local news network right after college.  He’d gleefully told them it was his smile that had gotten the job, but also that he seemed somehow trustworthy in his reel submissions.  

“I’m on vacation, leave me be,” Bran says.  “I slept all the way til 6:30 this morning.  That hasn’t happened in months.”

“Is what’s-his-name Bolton going to try and steal your job while you’re away?” she asks seriously.

Bran shrugs.  “He can try but I don’t think he’ll get very far.  I’m contracted for the next six months.”

“It got renewed?” Arya asks, and Bran winks.  “Charmer,” she teases.  She looks up at dad and he gives her a smile.  She glances at her dad, who’s shrugging out of his sweater and gives him a hug too before her mother calls him upstairs to help with the rest of the beds.

Arya’s phone buzzes in her pocket, and sees a text from Gendry.  Just landed. They’re waiting in the cell lot so we should be on the road soon.  Her stomach lurches but this time, she takes a deep breath and looks down at Bran.  He’s watching her.  

“Hungry?” she asks.

“Always,” he replies, and she kisses the top of his head again and pushes his chair towards the kitchen for breakfast.

[jewishstarks]

halailah >> jewishstarks

sorry y’all, it was inevitable

[somediyprojects]

Design Works: Celestial Dragon stitched by halailah. Pattern designed by Joan Elliott.

“One year of stitching later, and a lot of firsts! This project was my first time doing backstitching, beads, French knots, and half stitches. It took me almost exactly a year!”

[furiousblanketfort]

So my family is interfaith. I'm Jewish and Justin is culturally xtian. (He believes nothing, like we have a tree but not a manger). I'm pumped to celebrate Hanukkah with the kids, and I've started by buying books about Hanukkah so as to plant the seed (even though their mother's best friend is Jewish allegedly)

One book I got is "Daddy Christmas and Hanukkah Mama" and it's based on a real interfaith family that is seemingly a Jew and a serious catholic. Like, catholic daddy acknowledges strictly religious days so he must go to church. It broke my brain. Although it a bit seems like Jewish mama is culturally Jewish and not religious but it got my wheels turning. I struggle with the concept that anyone can stay catholic once they know what Judaism means.

I was raised catholic so I still have culturally xtian influence. And I like the aesthetic of Christmas; the lights, everything so cozy, family being together. But the family togetherness aspect of Judaism is something I really really like too.

ANYWAY

We celebrate Jewish things religiously, and xtian things strictly culturally. Xmas I'm fine with because I see a distinction between Santa and jesus. I see Santa as xtian cultural but not actually associated with religion. I really struggle with Easter because I celebrated it religiously when I was catholic. Religiously Easter is the most xtian event possible. I can barely even get behind the Easter bunny, and he's strictly cultural like Santa. But Judaism and xtianity are fundamentally opposed and "Easter" is where it comes out most. I refuse to believe Jesus was real. He existed, sure, but was not the son of Gd. And Jesus ruined Passover! That's when Easter is and I'm so mad. Easter and Passover line up because Jesus hijacked a seder and made it his last supper!

Like, this is what the "last supper" would have actually looked like. Notice they're all laying on their left side? Ma Nishtana instructs us about this! "halailah hazeh, kulanu m’subin" on this night we only recline. To the left. That's what they're doing!

And if I recall correctly Oily Josh washed the feet of all in attendance. Urchatz? Rachtzah? Maybe back then they did things a little differently, or it's been the entire common era since then and we've all played broken telephone.

Plus doesn't it just seem like something the "son of Gd" would do? The person who 100% legitimately believes he is the conceived child of the ethereal without physical form omnipresent being who created the entire universe. Are you getting how irredeemably unhinged nonsense of a concept that is? That guy, the guy who believes his natural biological father is G-D felt that two days out of a 365 day year, two days of explicitly remembering when Gd saved their people from 200 years of slavery in Egypt was too many. In fact xtians don't acknowledge Passover as anything more than an old testament story... so Oily Josh destroyed Pesach.

I am furious about this. I don't know if I will ever get over it. How can xtains NOT see this once they know about Judaism? I'm not trying to proselytize here, I'm legitimately confused. Has nobody ever wondered why Passover and Easter are always the same weekend? Has nobody wondered why the birth of Jesus has a solid date but the death is varriable?

[areyougonnabe]

well here is a pre-canon jcr/francis/sophia threesome, because i have Thoughts And Feelings. is this basically just historical RPF at this point? yes, and i’m having SO much fun!!!!

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Terror (TV 2018) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Captain Francis Crozier/Sir James Clark Ross, Sophia Cracroft/Captain Francis Crozier, Sophia Cracroft/Captain Francis Crozier/Sir James Clark Ross, Sophia Cracroft/Sir James Clark Ross Characters: Captain Francis Crozier, Sir James Clark Ross, Sophia Cracroft Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Threesome - F/M/M, What Happens At The Erebus & Terror Ball Stays At The Erebus & Terror Ball, Hand Jobs, Cunnilingus, Blow Jobs, ma nishtanah halailah hazeh, Fluff and Smut, Oh Fronk! Summary:

If this was what Sophia wanted as well, how could he deny either of them? And, feeling unmoored, Francis had not the strength to deny to himself that, having had a taste of the inside of James’s mouth, hot and welcoming, he wished for more, would take it if it was offered, might even— on this strange night— find it in himself to ask for it.

[short--insomniacs]

me: ok so i need to focus so i can do this thing

my brain: MAH NISHTANAH HALAILAH HAZEH MIKOL HALEILOT

me: it’s not even passover pls calm down

[fannylempangg]

R u m a h

Sebagian dari kalian pasti akan selalu merindukan rumah teruntuk bagi perantau. Aku yang baru menjadi anak rantau kurang lebih 1,2 tahun juga selalu rindu dengan rumah. Merindukan suasananya, udaranya, isi rumahnya, dan juga penghuninya hehe. Tak ada tempat yang membuat nyaman selain rumah. Se-nyaman2nya kamu berada di tempat yang menurutmu asik dan buat kamu nyaman, tapi menurutku lebih nyaman berada di rumah yang merupakan zona nyaman untuk menenangkan hati dan pikiran. Rasanya teduh dan ingin selalu di rumah.

Dulu, semasa menjadi anak sekolah aku sempat berpikir "pokoknya nanti kalo kuliah, pengen kuliah jauh dari rumah, ga mau di sulawesi harus di jawa". Mengingat perkataan itu, sedikit membuatku elus dada "apaan sih, tuh kan dulu itu kamu belum tau gimana rasanya jauh dari rumah apalagi orang tua".

Sekarang udah tau jauh dari rumah itu rasanya kayak gimana. Tiap hari kerjaannya [tepatnya tengah malam] liatin kalender cuma untuk ngitung h-berapa pulang ke rumah. Apalagi kalo playlist lagunya "indie folk" haduh ini hati rasanya udah jenuh di kos pengen cepat pulang.

Parahnya, aku juga pernah ngomong ke ibu "mak, itu anaknya tante sebelah nda pernah pulang biar natalan nda pulang juga atau mungkin irit biaya ii le? mau ka' juga begitu deh irit biaya, kalo kuliah nanti setahun sekali pulang dan pulangnya kalo natalan saja *btw ini logat dan dialek Toraja hehe* [mak, anaknya tante yang di sebelah itu ga pernah pulang ya meskipun natal dia tetap ga pulang atau mungkin dia irit biaya? nanti kalo kuliah aku juga pengen kayak dia, biar irit biaya sekali setahun pulang ke rumah untuk rayain natal]".

Hehe boro-boro pulang sekali dalam setahun, habis liburan aja balik untuk kuliah udah malas, dalam hati rasanya udah kayak gini "aduh bisa gak sih di sini aja, gak usah balik kesana, coba kuliahnya udah kelar, masih ada waktu 4 bulan lagi baru balik kesini halah masih lama halailah". Udah, pokoknya ada aja yang buat hati "g e l i s a h" kalo jauh dari rumah.

Yaudah gitu aja terus kalo waktu liburannya udah hampir selesai. Gimana bisa coba dalam setahun pulangnya cuma sekali. Jujur, aku pribadi gak bisa tepatin kalimat yang aku pernah bilang ke ibu dulu "cukup sekali dalam setahun pulang untuk natalan". Berat cuk, berat.

Karena rumah mengumpulkan banyak cerita dan kenangan. Yang dari masih kecil diajarin jalan, naik sepeda, terus menginjak masa remaja pernah dimarahin sama bapak ibu, galau gara-gara pacaran dan nangis waktu tau ternyata [aku] udah gede yaa bentar lagi kuliah, artinya memantapkan hati untuk jauh dari bapak, ibu, dan tessa [adikku]. Di sanalah cerita perjalanan hidup dimulai dan berakhir. Menurutku ketika kamu benar-benar menganggap rumah sebagai tempat tumbuh dan menerima kasih serta cinta dari keluarga, kamu pun pasti tidak akan melihatnya dari bentuk bangunannya, besar kecilnya, dan mewah ataupun sederhananya. Kamu akan selalu menerima apa adanya. Karena kata orang sepetak bangunan yang sederhana membuat kenanganmu semakin manis.

Sebagai anak rantau untuk bisa pulang ke rumah, harus menanggung lamanya menunggu libur semester dan tak kalah pentingnya melihat saldo atm hehe. Tapi Puji Tuhan, orang tua selalu mengerti dan mengirimkan sedikit berkat kepadaku sebagai ongkos pulang ke rumah sederhana yang ada di kampung wkwk. Berbicara mengenai rindu, ada baiknya ditampung sembari mengingat momen yang paling menyenangkan yang terjadi di rumah. Katanya, jika rindunya dituntaskan, rasanya lega poll. Iya, emang benar wkwk. Sudah pernah merindu-kan? hehe

Aku selalu bersyukur kepada Tuhan untuk penyertaannya kepada bapak, ibu dan kedua sodaraku yang mampu untuk menjaga rumah kecil yang sederhana ini. Keutuhan yang sudah terjalin selama kurang lebih 25 tahun dalam keluarga ini, yang mengajarkan banyak arti kehidupan dan semuanya terekam baik di setiap sisi dan sudut rumah. Aku sadar bahwa ada momen dimana kebersamaan dengan keluarga tak melulu mengenai kebahagiaan. Tangis dan tawa pernah terjadi di tempat ini.

Teruntuk rumah [bersama keluarga kecilku] yang selalu membuatku untuk merindukannya. Terima kasih telah mempertemukan dan menyatukanku dengan orang yang hebat dan cerita sederhana yang mendidik. Tak lupa juga untuk bapak dan ibu yang nyatanya menjadi subjek yang paling dirindukan di rumah. Raut wajah keduanya yang selalu ada dalam pikiranku. Mengingatkan ku, dulunya pernah disuruh bapak dan ibu beli ini itu di warung sebelah. Di antar ke sekolah, dijemput saat pulang kursus. Selanjutnya, kedua sodara perempuanku yang sekarang sibuk dengan kehidupan masing-masing untuk masa depan. Padahal sekitar 10 tahun yang lalu masih sering nonton drakor yang tayang di indosiar wkwk terus jahilin si bungsu hehe.

Di mana pun kamu berpijak saat ini, nantinya kamu akan tahu jalan untuk kembali pulang. Disambut hangatnya kasih putih keluarga dan sejuknya udara sekeliling rumah. Mencium aroma masakan ibu dan ajakan ayah untuk meneguk segelas teh sariwangi di teras rumah. Kemudian bercanda bersama sodara sembari mengingat kembali masa sekolah atau mungkin membahas jodoh satu sama lain hehe.

Mungkin saat ini aku dan kamu yang sedang menjadi anak rantau ikhlas jauh dari rumah untuk pendidikan. Berjuang untuk masa depan dan mengaminkan serta berusaha mewujudkan doa orang tua. Akan ada waktunya kamu menunggu waktu yang tepat untuk kembali pulang dan menikmati kebersamaan dengan bapak, ibu dan sodaramu di rumah. Waktu akan menjelaskan semuanya.

Aku dan kamu akan kembali pada pangkuan masa lalu yang terekam di setiap sisi dan sudut rumah.

[goinggoats]

‘Evening primrose’ was translated as ‘ner halailah’ (‘lamp/kindled light of the night’) which I love.

[suneaterkids]

Rumah

Sebagian dari kalian pasti akan selalu merindukan rumah teruntuk bagi perantau. Aku yang baru menjadi anak rantau kurang lebih 1,2 tahun juga selalu rindu dengan rumah. Merindukan suasananya, udaranya, isi rumahnya, dan juga penghuninya hehe. Tak ada tempat yang membuat nyaman selain rumah. Se-nyaman2nya kamu berada di tempat yang menurutmu asik dan buat kamu nyaman, tapi menurutku lebih nyaman berada di rumah yang merupakan zona nyaman untuk menenangkan hati dan pikiran. Rasanya teduh dan ingin selalu di rumah.

Dulu, semasa menjadi anak sekolah aku sempat berpikir "pokoknya nanti kalo kuliah, pengen kuliah jauh dari rumah, ga mau di sulawesi harus di jawa". Mengingat perkataan itu, sedikit membuatku elus dada "apaan sih, tuh kan dulu itu kamu belum tau gimana rasanya jauh dari rumah apalagi orang tua".

Sekarang udah tau jauh dari rumah itu rasanya kayak gimana. Tiap hari kerjaannya [tepatnya tengah malam] liatin kalender cuma untuk ngitung h-berapa pulang ke rumah. Apalagi kalo playlist lagunya "indie folk" haduh ini hati rasanya udah jenuh di kos pengen cepat pulang.

Parahnya, aku juga pernah ngomong ke ibu "mak, itu anaknya tante sebelah nda pernah pulang biar natalan nda pulang juga atau mungkin irit biaya ii le? mau ka' juga begitu deh irit biaya, kalo kuliah nanti setahun sekali pulang dan pulangnya kalo natalan saja *btw ini logat dan dialek Toraja hehe* [mak, anaknya tante yang di sebelah itu ga pernah pulang ya meskipun natal dia tetap ga pulang atau mungkin dia irit biaya? nanti kalo kuliah aku juga pengen kayak dia, biar irit biaya sekali setahun pulang ke rumah untuk rayain natal]".

Hehe boro-boro pulang sekali dalam setahun, habis liburan aja balik untuk kuliah udah malas, dalam hati rasanya udah kayak gini "aduh bisa gak sih di sini aja, gak usah balik kesana, coba kuliahnya udah kelar, masih ada waktu 4 bulan lagi baru balik kesini halah masih lama halailah". Udah, pokoknya ada aja yang buat hati "g e l i s a h" kalo jauh dari rumah.

Yaudah gitu aja terus kalo waktu liburannya udah hampir selesai. Gimana bisa coba dalam setahun pulangnya cuma sekali. Jujur, aku pribadi gak bisa tepatin kalimat yang aku pernah bilang ke ibu dulu "cukup sekali dalam setahun pulang untuk natalan". Berat cuk, berat.

Karena rumah mengumpulkan banyak cerita dan kenangan. Yang dari masih kecil diajarin jalan, naik sepeda, terus menginjak masa remaja pernah dimarahin sama bapak ibu, galau gara-gara pacaran dan nangis waktu tau ternyata [aku] udah gede yaa bentar lagi kuliah, artinya memantapkan hati untuk jauh dari bapak, ibu, dan tessa [adikku]. Di sanalah cerita perjalanan hidup dimulai dan berakhir. Menurutku ketika kamu benar-benar menganggap rumah sebagai tempat tumbuh dan menerima kasih serta cinta dari keluarga, kamu pun pasti tidak akan melihatnya dari bentuk bangunannya, besar kecilnya, dan mewah ataupun sederhananya. Kamu akan selalu menerima apa adanya. Karena kata orang sepetak bangunan yang sederhana membuat kenanganmu semakin manis.

Sebagai anak rantau untuk bisa pulang ke rumah, harus menanggung lamanya menunggu libur semester dan tak kalah pentingnya melihat saldo atm hehe. Tapi Puji Tuhan, orang tua selalu mengerti dan mengirimkan sedikit berkat kepadaku sebagai ongkos pulang ke rumah sederhana yang ada di kampung wkwk. Berbicara mengenai rindu, ada baiknya ditampung sembari mengingat momen yang paling menyenangkan yang terjadi di rumah. Katanya, jika rindunya dituntaskan, rasanya lega poll. Iya, emang benar wkwk. Sudah pernah merindu-kan? hehe

Aku selalu bersyukur kepada Tuhan untuk penyertaannya kepada bapak, ibu dan kedua sodaraku yang mampu untuk menjaga rumah kecil yang sederhana ini. Keutuhan yang sudah terjalin selama kurang lebih 25 tahun dalam keluarga ini, yang mengajarkan banyak arti kehidupan dan semuanya terekam baik di setiap sisi dan sudut rumah. Aku sadar bahwa ada momen dimana kebersamaan dengan keluarga tak melulu mengenai kebahagiaan. Tangis dan tawa pernah terjadi di tempat ini.

Teruntuk rumah [bersama keluarga kecilku] yang selalu membuatku untuk merindukannya. Terima kasih telah mempertemukan dan menyatukanku dengan orang yang hebat dan cerita sederhana yang mendidik. Tak lupa juga untuk bapak dan ibu yang nyatanya menjadi subjek yang paling dirindukan di rumah. Raut wajah keduanya yang selalu ada dalam pikiranku. Mengingatkan ku, dulunya pernah disuruh bapak dan ibu beli ini itu di warung sebelah. Di antar ke sekolah, dijemput saat pulang kursus. Selanjutnya, kedua sodara perempuanku yang sekarang sibuk dengan kehidupan masing-masing untuk masa depan. Padahal sekitar 10 tahun yang lalu masih sering nonton drakor yang tayang di indosiar wkwk terus jahilin si bungsu hehe.

Di mana pun kamu berpijak saat ini, nantinya kamu akan tahu jalan untuk kembali pulang. Disambut hangatnya kasih putih keluarga dan sejuknya udara sekeliling rumah. Mencium aroma masakan ibu dan ajakan ayah untuk meneguk segelas teh sariwangi di teras rumah. Kemudian bercanda bersama sodara sembari mengingat kembali masa sekolah atau mungkin membahas jodoh satu sama lain hehe.

Mungkin saat ini aku dan kamu yang sedang menjadi anak rantau ikhlas jauh dari rumah untuk pendidikan. Berjuang untuk masa depan dan mengaminkan serta berusaha mewujudkan doa orang tua. Akan ada waktunya kamu menunggu waktu yang tepat untuk kembali pulang dan menikmati kebersamaan dengan bapak, ibu dan sodaramu di rumah. Waktu akan menjelaskan semuanya.

Aku dan kamu akan kembali pada pangkuan masa lalu yang terekam di setiap sisi dan sudut rumah.

[goldblumed]

hi guys im in the mood to share a jewish passover joke to yall so here goes

the queen of england is about to knight someone, and when he gets down on his knees his mind goes blank. he knows he should say something religious, so as she taps his head he mutters “mah nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot.” the queen, obviously confused, looks up and asks to a guard standing nearby, 

“why is this knight different from all other knights?“