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xxlady-lunaxx · 9 months

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Christmas with the Uppermoons 🌲 (Chaos with the Uppermoons)

Theme: SILLYNESS

Note: MERRY CHRISTMAS OR WHATEVER YOU CELEBRATE IN DECEMBER (or like happy random normal day of the week if nothing-)!!!

Anyways, here's the ships!: DouKaza, NakiDaki, KokuZan, KaiGyu (we'll pretend they're both alive at the same time), Gyokko x the christmas lights, Hantengu x ...air?? (idk I never write either of Gyokko or Hantengu LMAO.....)

Ages brought closer together for KaiGyu and NakiDaki for obv reasons

Alright, let's see if I can finish this before the day of christmas <33

Started: November 6th

Finished: (with a lot of procrastination) Dec. 24 (help)

Every year, on December 25th, the Uppermoons had a Christmas party. Which was ironic because, of all people, Muzan was the one that made them do it. Yes, Muzan.

For some reason that none of the Uppermoons knew, Muzan had taken a liking into this human, Christian (i'm not even christian but i do christmas bc yes..) holiday and.. made his demons celebrate it.

So now, like the past 500 years, they were readying for the holiday once again.

This was the one day that they never went out on missions to kill. And the one day the Demon Slayers had a break.

All of the Uppermoon's food would be stored up from a week before till now simply so they didn't need to go out and get their food on Christmas. This was, again, Muzan's idea.

Now this year was different, somehow. Different because, well, Muzan had a boyfriend. And he'd been rather keen on being a good one back, given that none of his relationships had been... successful. So, he had bought... a large amount of the most random gifts ever just to please Kokushibo (and if it wasn't obvious, Kokushibo is his boyfriend).

And Muzan was attempting to be the matchmaker for his Uppermoons because they were so fucking oblivious!! (Like he wasn't as well.. It took him so long to realize Kokushibo liked him back and he could literally read his mind).

Muzan was pissed, though. Because a certain Uppermoon was trying to be the one to make all of the decorations and that certain Uppermoon was excedingly annoying.

Gyokko, pleading, was showing Muzan a box full of vases which were supposedly his art and that he should be the one to make the decoration for the tree.

"No!!" Muzan had shouted, and quite literally kicked the box of vases across the Infinity Fortress, breaking them to pieces.

Gyokko cried for hours after that, and only because Kokushibo soothed him did Muzan stop himself from killing Upper 5.

Later, Muzan called an Uppermoon meeting and..

"Gyokko," he said.

The Uppermoon, still in tears, looked up. "What?"

"You must dress up as the grinch and then stay in the corner of the room all of Christmas and.. cry. Okay?" Muzan decided, crossing his arms.

"What?!" Gyokko cried, "why??"

"Because I hate you!"

"I..."

Daki covered her mouth, trying not to laugh, and said, her words muffled by her hand, "I can get him a costume."

"Perfect," Muzan said. "Alright, now I hope all of you have been buying things for each other—if you got anything for Gyokko give it to him the day after Christmas because the Grinch doesn't deserve anything. Okay? We have only a few days to decorate the Infinity Castle so I hope you all know what to do!!"

They all nodded simutaneously, Gyokko sniffing indignantly as he did.

"Right. Now hurry up. Kokushibo, meet me in my office in a minute." Muzan turned and left, leaving the Uppermoons to prepare—and Gyokko to suffer in silence.

(Ehm. You might know by now that I don't particularily favor Gyokko 😇)

×××

"Kokushibo. I need your help," Muzan said, his voice lowering on the word 'help.' He'd never asked for help before in his whole life—honestly.

Kokushibo cocked his head. "Do you, now? What for?" he asked curiously.

"The Uppermoons are so stupid!—Not you, of course," Muzan quickly corrected.

"Hm. Why so?" the six-eyed demon asked.

"Because Akaza like Douma but he pretends he hates Douma and Douma—the stupid motherfucker—likes Akaza but thinks it's just that Akaza smells nice so he likes to be with him more, Daki likes Nakime but is too afraid to say anything, Nakime likes Daki but had bad experiences with past relationships so doesn't want to say anything, Kaigaku likes Gyutaro and knows which Uppermoon likes which and is rather loud-mouthed and a gossip but he never can tell Gyutaro how he feels, Gyutaro likes Kaigaku but doesn't know how to do relationships, Gyokko is, for some weird reason, madly in love with art, and Hantengu is scared of everything including air," Muzan said in one breath, sighing at the end. "So you see, they're stupid. And I'm trying to get the Uppermoons together—in relationships, but not Gyokko and Hantengu for obvious reasons—and I've not been able to!!"

"Ehm.." Kokushibo stared at him for a minute, trying to process everything. Then he said, hesitantly, "I guess I could help? I'm no expert in this place but I can try.."

"Thank you!" Muzan said, relieved. "It was starting to get annoying trying to read their minds to see what they thought of my announcement and finding them only longing to be kissing some other Uppermoon. It's irritating."

"Right..."

The demon king put a hand on his desk and leaned on it, looking Kokushibo up and down. "So, why don't we go do something together now that we're by ourself? A little freedom before we have to put ourselves to dealing with the Uppermoons?" he suggested, grinning.

Kokushibo laughed. "Alright, then."

×××

And hence began the matchmaking service of Muzan Kibutsuji. Oh, and Kokushibo of course.

First patients, were Uppermoon's 2 and 3. Or, the lemon and the strawberry as Muzan and Kokushibo called them when there weren't alone.

Muzan proposed that they would first try to get Akaza to admit his feelings because... because Akaza was really stubborn. Well, so was Douma but they eventually agreed that Akaza would take a bit more convincing since Douma usually ended up agreeing pretty easily since he had no sort of handle on his own emotions.

Muzan told Nakime to teleport both of the Uppermoons to one room in which they couldn't escape, then he would care for the rest.

After that, Muzan watched the two through Nakime's eye, seeing them confused at first.

"Hi," he said unceremoniously, his voice echoing into the room they'd been teleported to.

Akaza and Douma looked up simultaneously.

"Master?" Akaza asked, confused.

Muzan nodded then realized they couldn't see him. "Ah, right. You two must confess until you both understand. And then I'll let you out," he explained.

"Oh," Akaza said. His mind raced. Could it be that Muzan knew who he loved..?

Douma stared down at the ground and his hands fidgeted. "I...I confess that once, when all my cult members went to a festival, I was tired and hungry. And I... didn't want to go look for humans to eat... so I ate a chicken."

Akaza raised an eyebrow. "You what?"

"Ate a chicken..."

The shorter of the two bit back laughter and Muzan's voice rang around them. "You idiot! That's not what I meant when I said 'confess.'"

"It wasn't?" the blond asked, confused.

"No, you dumbass," Muzan said, exasperated. Why'd he chosen this person to be in the Upper ranks again? "Akaza, you go first."

Akaza's laughed stopped almost immediately and he averted his eyes, turning away from Douma.

Completely clueless, the rainbow-eyed demon tilted his head in confusion. "Are you okay, Akaza-dono?"

"Shut up," Akaza snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at the floor.

"Akaza," Muzan said sternly, as if scolding a little child. "Tell him."

Akaza looked away and was silent for a moment before—"Fine." He turned back to Douma, his eyes narrowed. He looked very stern. Serious.

Douma swallowed, fearing the worst.

But then Akaza said, "I fucking like you."

And then the world melted away and Douma was blinking and staring up at Akaza with his eyes wide. "You do?"

"Bitch, didn't I just say that?"

"You aren't lying?" Douma asked hopefully.

"If I were lying Master would kill me!!!" Akaza snapped, getting irritated.

"I probably would," Muzan agreed.

Kokushibo, who was standing next to Muzan and being given the ability to see and hear everything that was happening, stifled a laugh. Muzan rolled his eyes at his boyfriend and shushed him before turning back to the two Uppermoons.

"Now, Douma, what do you want to say about what Akaza told you," he said, as if a parent trying to get his child to understand.

Douma thought for a moment—actually thought—and then said, "Thank you?"

Akaza sighed. "Why do I like you again?"

Muzan was having similar thoughts and, deciding that Douma was very much like a child, said, "Listen, if you don't figure it out I'm going to have you be punished!"

Douma pouted. "Okay..." He turned to Akaza. "So, do you know what I'm supposed to say?"

"You're supposed to say about how you feel of what I said," Akaza said, cringing at his own words. He didn't really want to know.

"Hmm..." The blond demon appeared to be deep in thought as he started pacing around the room. Then he stopped, quite suddenly, and said, "Akaza-dono!"

"What?" Akaza said, his tone bored now.

"I like you too!" he said decidedly, making Akaza's eyes widen.

Definitely unexpected.

"What?" he repeated, though more intrigued now.

"I like you too, Akaza-dono! You said you like me, and I like you too," Douma explained.

"Like... like-like, or just like?" Akaza asked slowly.

"Wut." Douma blinked. (I wrote duoma-)

"Like-like or friend-like?" Akaza tried.

"What's like-like?"

"Like... love? Sorta? Or, like, more than friendship?" he said, confusing himself.

"Uhm... Like-like!" Douma exclaimed, poising his hands on his hips triumphantly for figuring it out.

"Oh."

A silence quite deafening spread through the room, making Douma fidget uncomfortably.

"Is that bad?" Douma asked after another moment.

"No, no it's not," Muzan said, answering for Akaza. "Now you two can go off and fuck now I don't care. Nakime?"

The biwa demon complied, strumming her instrument and teleporting the two Uppermoons to Douma's cult room.

×××

"Two down, four to go!" Muzan said, apparently very proud of himself.

Kokushibo agreed, sitting down on the chair in front of Muzan's desk. "Now what?" he asked.

Muzan hesitated and his previous triumph seemed to simmer down. "I... don't really know."

His boyfriend laughed, making him snap his head up indignantly. "Hey!! It's not like you're giving me any ideas," he protested.

"Okay, okay, fine," Kokushibo said, sighing. "Do we have a sort of deadline?"

Muzan tapped his chin. "Christmas?"

"But that's in, like, 3 days..." he whined.

"Yeah and we only have two more 'couples' to go through," Muzan said. "We just need some plan. What do Daki and Nakime like?"

Kokushibo shrugged. "Shopping? At least Daki does. Oh! We could tell them to go shopping for the gifts and then we'll make sure they grow closer through that?" he suggested.

"Yes! We can set them up to go to one of the stores that I pretend to be human in as a worker," Muzan decided. "I'll ask them if they're dating or something."

Kokushibo nodded. "Alright. And Gyutaro and Kaigaku...?"

"Ughh, I don't know," Muzan whined. "We'll think of that tomorrow."

He stood and clapped his hands, projecting his voice to make sure Nakime would hear him now. "Nakime! You and Daki must go shop for presents now. Understood?"

Nakime, confused, said, "Yes, Master."

There was the sound of the biwa echoing around them then Kokushibo and Muzan found themselves on a street. Muzan grinned, "Alright, you go think of something for Kaigaku and Gyutaro or whatever, I'll go do my shift now."

"Fun," Kokushibo sighed, walking off.

×××

Nakime walked silently beside Daki, wondering why the hell she had to do this. Like, it wasn't completely out of the blue since Christmas was coming up, but it really was random. Especially since he'd said for her to go. Daki would be more reasonable but Nakime usually just put up the decorations.

Why this this year?

Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that Muzan had been trying to get Douma and Akaza together...?

She sighed, raking her hand through her hair which was pulled up in a ponytail, her eyes disguised as human ones—two human ones. Distorting but she couldn't cause confusion.

"You alright?" Daki asked, turning to her as they walked, their feet marking footprints in the snow.

"Mhm, just wondering why I have to go," Nakime grumbled.

Daki laughed. "You'll live. Or are you cold? I can hug you," she said, grinning. She was wearing clothes more appropriate for winter—Gyutaro had insisted—and she looked absolutely... adorable in them.

The biwa demon shook her head as they approached the first shop. "We can't walk like that," she remarked.

"You can carry meee!!!" Daki teased.

"How are you to help me shop then?" Nakime pointed out, stepping through the door.

"Finee..."

They looked around, finding themselves in a clothing store.

"Hmm, I should buy that grinch costume for Gyokko now," Daki said, looking around. "I'll meet you at the front, no? We can meet up when we're done so we can pay and go on, alright?"

Nakime nodded and the two split up, going each their own way.

×××

Muzan waited, drumming his fingers mindlessly on the counter. It took a while and he was starting to regret having decided to take on this job as he knew Daki took a long time to shop, but then they finally walked up to him and he stood up, making sure he kept down his aura to a less menacing one, more fragile and human-like so they wouldn't notice.

"Hello! Having a nice christmas, I suppose?" he said, his tone cheery, matching his smile.

Daki nodded and placed her things on the counter—taking up half of the space. Nakime placed her things there as well which ended up only being half of the amount Daki had gotten.

"Yep, you?" she said, fixing her ponytail.

"I'm doing alright, myself," Muzan said, picking up the first item. "Are you two dating? You seem very close," he commented, careful to not look too curious.

He looked up and gave them a tentative smile.

It took them a second to realize what he meant and they flushed simutaneously, instantly shaking their heads in denial.

"No?" Muzan asked, counting the payment. "Such a pity. Close friends, then?" he decided.

"Ehm..." Nakime mumbled, her usually pale-white palor practically glowing with pink. "I suppose."

Daki nodded her agreement quickly. "Yeah... Close friends..!" she said, pushing what she was buying closer to Muzan, urging him to continue.

"Right, right. Nice to go shopping together, hm?" he said.

"Yep!!"

"You sure you aren't dating?" Muzan pushed, laughing. "Your 'friend' here is quite pink."

"I'm just cold," Nakime said quickly—too quickly.

Daki glanced at her, almost surprised, then nodded as well. "See, I told you you should carry me!" she said.

Nakime sighed. "How would we carry this?" she asked, motioning to their things.

"Uhhhh, with you hair," Daki joked.

"Alright, here's the charge," Muzan said, jotting it down quickly. "Anything else?" he asked.

Daki shook her head. "That'll be it."

"Mhm, have a merry Christmas!!" he called out to them as they walked out the door.

Once they were out of sight, he quickly placed the money in the cash register (idk what they used if it was smth diff so we'll just do it as it's done here now<33) and called out, "Kokushibo!! Go follow them!!"

Kokushibo, at Muzan's command, followed the two girls as they walked to the next store.

They walked in silence, their hands full with their things and their thoughts elsewhere. Both appeared to be flushed and most definitely not from the cold—especially since demons aren't affected in visible ways by cold.

Kokushibo followed them until they entered the store then he paused and went back to Muzan.

"So?" the demon lord asked, his eyebrows cocked in curiousity.

"I think that you've at least sparked something other. They didn't talk or anything but they were... definitely thinking about it," Kokushibo said, smiling.

Muzan leaned over to him and gave him a quick kiss. "Good."

×××

"Okay! For Kaigaku and Gyutaro, we're going to need Daki. But since she's... developing her relationship with Nakime, we can have you talk to Kaigaku first," Muzan said, leaning back on his chair.

"Why me?" Kokushibo huffed.

"Because he sees you as a father," he said, rolling his eyes. "And you can just pretend you want to see him for training or shit, I don't care."

"...alright. What do I say? Or do?" the Uppermoon asked, confused as to where this was going.

"Just talk to him about random shit then drop big ass hints that he likes Gyutaro and that he should ask him out. Kaigaku catches on with that sort of shit really easily, don't worry." Muzan sat up. "Shouldn't be too hard."

"You say it so vaguely, though..." Kokushibo complained.

"You'll do great, Kokushibo," Muzan assured him. "Want a good luck kiss?" he teased.

"Yes."

Muzan slipped around his desk and went to kiss him but arms wrapped around his waist and lifted him onto the desk.

"Hmm, don't go too far Kokushibo," he warned, though he gave him a tender smirk.

×××

Kaigaku stood in Kokushibo's house—a small human one with a lot of curtains and boarded up windows to make it look as if an abandoned one though it was far from that inside.

"Soo, what am I doing here? Training again?" Kaigaku asked, his arms poised on his hips in a relaxed posture.

"No, just talking," Kokushibo said, sitting down on a chair he'd placed across from the one he's put down for Kaigaku—who wasn't even using it.

"Hmm, what about?" the training-to-be-an-Uppermoon-demon asked, his eyebrows perked in curiousity.

"Stuff."

"Elaborate."

"Sit down, Kaigaku," Kokushibo sighed.

He sat. (totally a sentence)

"Start the conversation, then. I've got to finish wrapping the presents," Kaigaku huffed.

"Alright. Hmm, so your place as an Uppermoon? You'll be taking as... Uppermoon six if there were to be any vacancies," Kokushibo said awkwardly, after a moment of silence. He honestly didn't know what he was supposed to say. He'd had a vague idea but then he'd gotten all caught up with Muzan and... shit, so it'd slipped his mind.

"And...?" Kaigaku prompted. "I already know that, you know-"

"Right, right. Gyutaro and Daki are Upper six at the moment," the Uppermoon said, thinking quickly. He had to bring Gyutaro into the conversation.

"Mhm?"

"Maybe you should train with them? Like, Gyutaro, say! You seem to be around him a lot recently. Have you befriended him well?" he asked, mentally approving himself.

"Oh, uh..." Kaigaku paused. "Yeah, sure. I've... befriended him, all right.

"Very well," Kokushibo said, noting the emphasis on friend.

"Why do you ask?"

"I want to make sure you have closer sight on what it's like to be an Uppermoon. You should really talk to Gyutaro more. Ask him out if you want to go and talk to him somewhere more... private?" Kokushibo suggested, a glint in his eyes proving he meant other than what he was saying.

Kaigaku, obviously realizing this, flushed. "Ask him... what?"

"Out."

"I know, I meant, uhm..." he faltered. "Nevermind. Okay."

"Great! And hopefully he can be more than just a friend, in which you two can bond together in other ways to give you more experience," the Uppermoon said. He stood, then, and said, "Have fun!" before walking off deeper into his house to wait for Muzan.

×××

And then it was Christmas.

Muzan and Kokushibo lay quietly in Muzan's room, both having wanted a bit of rest, when the door slammed open.

They jolted up. "Wha-"

"IT'S CHRISTMASSS!!!" Daki exclaimed, grinning widely. She wore a sort of onesie that was red and white with patterns of reindeers. "GET UP FUCKERS!!!"

"Daki!!" Muzan groaned. "Quiet down."

"NO CAN DO!!" she said, dashing off.

Kokushibo sighed. "We better get going then."

"Right. I'll go see if Gyokko has the costume on," Muzan said.

"Mhm." Kokushibo kissed him on the forehead and then the two demons stood and walked out of the room, noting the decorations put up all over the Infinity Fortress.

"It looks beautiful," Daki said as Muzan and Kokushibo entered the main gathering room.

Nakime smiled. "Thank you."

"I know someone else she finds beautiful," Muzan said under his breath.

"What?" the biwa demon asked, turning her gaze to him.

"Nothing. Alright, Gyokko!! Where are you?"

Daki burst into laughter then, bringing the attention of the demons to her.

"What?"

"I gave him the costume of the grinch an hour ago and he'd been complaining that it's not fit for him to wear and that it's not artistic at all so he won't come out of his pots," she explained, pointing to one of the flower-designed vases sitting in the corner of the room.

Muzan shook his head. "Gyokko, get your cowardly ass out of the stupid vase and show us the costume. If you don't, I'm going to make sure every one of your pots are destroyed and your paints and materials are thrown into an ocean."

Gyokko, obviously shocked by this threat, gasped and the sound echoed in the pot.

"Well?" the demon lord said impatiently.

"Fine..." Gyokko whined, slowly but surely going out of the pot.

There was a beat of silence as everyone stared at him, the bright green fuzzy—but somewhat soaking wet—fabric of the costume making him look worse than ever as he averted his eyes to the ground, his face flushed in a red hue contrasting against his usually pale skin.

And then—

Laughter rang out from Muzan making nearly every Uppermoon flinch in surprise.

"Nevermind, Gyokko. You already looked like shit before but that's worse. You can take it off... at midnight," Muzan decided.

Gyokko huffed. "Okay. How long till then?"

Daki grinned. "Nearly twenty four hours. It's nearing to one AM of today," she said giddly.

"...Fuck. Can I at least stay inside the pot?" he whined.

"Nope, you have to stay out in that corner of the room the whole day, remember? And cry but I suppose that's optional," Muzan said, raising an eyebrow to see if he'd contradict.

"Fine."

×××

"Nakime!" Muzan hissed.

He was right behind Nakime, watching the other Uppermoons and Kaigaku exchange presents and talk.

"Yes, Master?" she said.

"Put mistletoe over where Kaigaku and Gyutaro are in a bit, alright?" he said, his voice low in a whisper.

"Yes, Master."

"Okay, now go talk to Daki or something and stop sitting by here the whole time. You can play music later," he dismissed.

Nakime nodded. "Alright."

×××

Kaigaku was laughing as he spoke to Gyutaro when he noticed something above him. He looked up, his action being followed by a similar one by the Uppermoon he spoke to.

"Mistletoe?" he said. "Was that always there?"

"No, I don't think so," Gyutaro said.

Kaigaku paused. "Gyutaro," he said suddenly, grinning.

"Huh?"

"People put up mistletoe because you're supposed to kiss if you go under it. We're under it," he said, raising his eyebrows slowly, trying to get Gyutaro to understand.

"Wha...- OH." Gyutaro froze. "You want to..?"

"If you want to..."

"So... yes?" he said slowly.

"Do you?"

"...yes."

Kaigaku nodded and leaned forward, pushing the box he held in his lap to the side. "Yes." He closed the distance between them, their eyes fluttering shut almost instinctively.

When they pulled apart, both's cheeks were flushed and Gyutaro looked to be practically glowing, a shy smile forming on his face.

But then Daki gasped, and they turned to look at her. "What?" they asked in unison, as if the kiss had brought their words together.

"You guys... just... KISSED?!" Daki said, her voice almost in a shriek.

"Is that a bad thing..?" Gyutaro asked uncertainly.

"ARE YOU KIDDING?? IT'S THE BEST THING EVER!!" Daki squealed.

Taken aback, Gyutaro took a moment to respond as he blinked, confused, at his sister. "It is?"

"You realize the both of you have been crushing on each other for, like, months and said absolutely nothing?!" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Months..?" Kaigaku asked, his eyes widening.

"You too," she deadpanned. "You've liked him for longer, no?"

"Fuck off..." he mumbled.

Gyutaro looked torn between backing up Kaigaku or his sister and he remained silent.

Douma, noticing this, turned abruptly to Akaza—who was about to go talk to Nakime—and said, "Akaza-dono!! We both like each other too! Can we kiss??"

Akaza glared at him. "Fuck no!"

"Why??" the blond whined, pouting.

"Because you look like shit and you are shit," Akaza said, huffing and turning away.

"But... you like me!" Douma pointed out.

"My feelings have been corrupted."

"I wanna kiss you, Akaza-dono!" he said impatiently.

"Too ba-"

He was interrupted when lips pressed against his in a fleeting moment.

They stared at each other for a second, then Akaza turned red and turned away, covering his face with his hands.

Douma smiled happily. "You're pretty, Akaza-dono!"

"I hate you," Akaza mumbled, the words too weak to be true.

"I love you too!"

×××

(watch me run out of ideas so imma end it now)

"Hmm, looks like they're having fun," Kokushibo noted, smiling.

"Yeah. What about Nakime and Daki, though?" Muzan asked, sighing.

"Don't force it, they'll figure it out themselves.

"Alright."

Muzan leaned against his boyfriend's chest, their arms and legs tangled up with each others comfortably.

"Love you, Koku... Merry Christmas," he said, stealing a short kiss from the Uppermoon.

"Love you too."

{Word count: 4152}

LY ALL

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS OR HAPPY WHATEVER!! <33

ALSO IDC I'M POSTING THIS HERE PAST CHRISTMAS I WAS TOO LAZY TO YESTERDAY

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