#hahahahaha what the fuck this fine

[franeridan]

nah man I get hancock I really do if I had to pick a single man in the whole history of the world to fall for I'd pick luffy too, who are we kidding

[montanabohemian]

i just watched this video on youtube about a $12 million dollar house and while it was in fact stunning, the thing i couldn't get past was the fact that every single bedroom had their own washer and dryer. and i'm like, if i spend $12 million on an enormous house, i ain't doing laundry in my own fucking room. no way. there will be an entire room dedicated to that thank you very much. like what the fuck. you spent 11 years building this stunning chateau-like house and you give each bedroom that?! i don't know man, rich people are weird.

still want the house tho. hahahahaha. where's my rich sugar daddy when i need him.

[alexibeeart]

okay i actually now have to spend all my energy into being normal at work for the next 4 hours because i will have a full on meltdown otherwise i am literally shaking at my desk okay okay okay! god speed to us all! I've only watched the trailer once because i cannot handle any more right now x

[esoclectic]

things plato would love about US democracy:

not an actual democracy

controlled by the rich

things plato would hate about US democracy:

the rich are idiots

people are allowed to be loudly wrong all the time

it grants ppl a(n albeit ineffectual) voice and lets them (at least believe they) have the right to make decisions abt the state/their lives/etc

[seobinghard]

you're on a missionᵗᵐ to make potential financé!san hate you so bad he has no choice but to call off your engagement once and for all. blame it all on your parents who set you up with their best friend's son. you? engaged? no way. so what if he's hot, successful and educated? you're just a girl, insane and a little medicated. there's no fucking way this is gonna work. you're destined to frolic about, not be strapped to someone's son. so for the next two weeks you're forced to spend with san, you make it your life's mission to make his life a living hell. perhaps if you burp in his face at nobu, he'll be so disgusted he'll leave the hatted restaurant and never return mwahaha. but he only smiles and says "you look so cute when you eat. you wanna get froyo later?" tf. that is not the reaction you anticipated. so you proceed to 'accidentally' drop your cup of froyo on his black boots. that should do. but san only laughs and tells you "it's fine, it'll wash off." um, wtf. that's not right. okay, restrategise—the club. yes. men hate loud women who can't keep to themselves. so you start throwing moves on the dance floor, singing your lungs out to 'dirty cash' with a bottle of dom perignon in your hand. you expected san to frown and fuck off for the night only to be shocked by his dance moves—since when does he dance and how is he so good ? he pulls you into him by the waist until you're face to face and takes a good chug from the wine bottle in your hand. "baby, you left me all alone at the bar :(" he pouts, face pink from the alcohol. you are so fucking confused; flabbergasted if you will. wtf went wrong? san's supposed to hate you and all you did was make him even more ... obsessed. and when you bring up the hefty bar tab you purposefully racked up on his amex, san only laughs and kisses your forehead. "here." he hands you aNOTHER amex. FUCK. there's no way out. say good bye to frolicking about, this is your new husband now HAHAHAHAHA

m.list

[expelliarmus444]

If texting were a thing in the 1890s pt 6

Ominis: is it snowing outside? phone says yes but its not always correct Ominis: pls lmk i don't wanna bust ass walking on the grounds Sebastian: not snowing, actually kinda warm out Ominis: hm okay thanks Ominis: you bitch. Sebastian: HAHAHAHAHA Ominis: won't be laughing when i steal your girl Sebastian: nice joke not gonna happen tho Ominis: wanna pretend to be in love with me to piss Sebastian off MC: lol why Ominis: he told me it wasn't snowing. grounds were covered in a sheet of ice. i fell on the walkway. MC: why would he do that to you?? are u okay Ominis: no my head hurts pls make him pay MC: okay fine anything for u bestie Ominis: done. Sebastian: what Ominis: stole your girl Sebastian: not a funny joke MC: im leaving you MC: it's not me its you MC: actually it's Ominis MC: Im in love with him Sebastian: MC THIS IS NOT FUNNY STOP JOKING :( IK OMINIS PUT U UP TO THIS MC: it's not a joke MC: sorry you had to find out like this MC: pls delete my number *unable to send* Sebastian: MC pls not funny Sebastian: OMG DID U ACTUALLY BLOCK ME Sebastian: you're sick. Ominis: don't fuck with me again. Sebastian: this is why i suggested couples therapy Sebastian: im signing us up rn

[fairytales-and-folklore]

Error 404: Brain Cell Not Found

Teen Wolf » Sterek

Title: Error 404: Brain Cell Not Found

Author: fairytalesandfolklore

Fandom: Teen Wolf (Masterlist)

Relationship: Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski

AO3 Rating: Teen & Up (a complete collection of author's notes, inspiration credits, content warnings and tags can be found on AO3)

Summary: He means to send the photo to Scott. Really, he does. But it's barely 9AM and he hasn't had coffee yet so his brain isn't exactly firing on all cylinders, single brain cell chanting an endless chorus of Derek Derek Derek. Which is how he ends up accidentally sending the photo he'd just taken to Derek instead, along with the lovely accompanying caption: seriously scotty, just look at him, I think I'm in love.

By the time Stiles realizes his mistake, it's too late to hit cancel. He hears the telltale chime of a successfully sent text, the little grayed-out delivered notification staring back at him with a mocking checkmark. He glances up, watching in abject horror as Derek pulls out his phone. Clocks his exact time of death as the moment Derek's eyebrows arch high enough to meet his hairline.

Read On AO3 | Read On Tumblr:

Text Message From Stiles At 8:15AM: I think Derek is trying to kill me Text Message From Scott At 8:20AM: what??? Text Message From Scott At 8:20AM: why??? Text Message From Scott At 8:21AM: what did you do this time Text Message From Stiles At 8:22AM: okay, first of all, ouch Text Message From Stiles At 8:23AM: second, because he's wearing this red henley with these adorable little thumbholes and it's so hot I think I might catch fire and die Text Message From Scott At 8:24AM: oh Text Message From Scott At 8:24AM: hahahahaha Text Message From Scott At 8:24AM: damn you've really got it bad for this guy huh Text Message From Stiles At 8:25AM: understatement of the fucking century bro

Stiles leans back in his desk at the far corner of the lecture hall, front legs of his chair swaying dangerously about a foot above the ground as he taps out a slew of replies to his best friend studying to be a vet tech at the opposite end of the country, the monotonous drawl of his biochem professor little more than background noise. 

It's fine that he's not paying attention — Mondays are lecture days, and since Stiles had already read the book cover to cover before the term even started, he figures he's allowed to coast. Besides, it's Wednesdays and Fridays — lab days — that really matter. One, because he's all about practical application. Two, because it means he gets to spend time with his lab partner he's been head over heels stupid for since the first day of class. And right now, the fact that Derek is half a lecture hall away looking that fucking fine is an absolute crime.

Which is exactly what he texts Scott. Repeatedly. With enough crying face, heart eyes, and ghost pepper emojis to fill a Lucky Charms essay. (Hey, he'd had to hear Scott wax poetic about Allison all throughout high school, so it's only fair that Stiles finally gets to return the favor.) He's scrolling through Pinterest, trying to find a color palette that matches the exact hues of Derek's eyes, when his phone buzzes with another notification from Scott.

Text Message From Scott At 8:35AM: you've been sweet on this guy all semester and I still have no idea what he even looks like Text Message From Stiles At 8:37AM: you're right, how rude of me Text Message From Stiles At 8:37AM: hold that thought Text Message From Scott At 8:40AM: what do you mean Text Message From Scott At 8:40AM: what are you gonna Text Message From Scott At 8:41AM: wait Text Message From Scott At 8:41AM: Stiles, no Text Message From Scott At 8:42AM: at least remember to turn the flash off!!!

Like every other well-meaning warning and keep out sign, Stiles flicks the little notification banner out of the way and proceeds to whip out his camera app. Pretending he's checking his email for next week's homework assignment, Stiles casually tilts his phone to snap a photo of Derek while his head is turned, too busy jotting down notes from the whiteboard to notice. 

It's perfect — clear, in focus, decent lightning — he'd even managed to capture that cute little nose wrinkle Derek does whenever he's concentrating — and it only took him one try. See? He could be subtle. Scott was worried over nothing. With a self-satisfied little smile, Stiles swipes back over to the message thread and begins writing out his reply.

He means to send the photo to Scott. Really, he does. But it's barely 9AM and he hasn't had his morning coffee yet, so his brain isn't exactly firing on all cylinders, single brain cell chanting an endless chorus of Derek Derek Derek. Which is how he ends up accidentally sending the photo he'd just taken to Derek instead, along with the lovely accompanying caption: seriously scotty, just look at him, I think I'm in love.

By the time Stiles realizes his mistake, it's too late to hit cancel. He hears the telltale chime of a successfully sent text, the little grayed-out delivered notification staring back at him with a mocking checkmark. He glances up, watching in abject horror as Derek pulls out his phone. Clocks his exact time of death as the moment Derek's eyebrows arch high enough to meet his hairline. 

His heartbeat is a wild, thunderous thing, pulsing through him like a jackhammer. Every inch of his skin feels like it's simultaneously buzzing and on fire. Paralysis creeps over him like a fast-acting venom, hands shaking as he sends a flurry of rapid-fire apology texts.

Text Message From Stiles At 8:45AM: oh my god I am so sorry, that was meant for my friend Scott Text Message From Stiles At 8:46AM: not that that explains why I just creepily took a photo of you and then sent it to you Text Message From Stiles At 8:47AM: and then confessed that I've got an embarrassingly huge crush on you Text Message From Stiles At 8:48AM: Jesus fuck I'm just making this so much worse Text Message From Stiles At 8:49AM: welp, that settles it Text Message From Stiles At 8:50AM: after class I am driving to the coast and walking straight into the ocean

Post-lecture plans sorted, Stiles jams his phone back into his pocket and sits there, staring down at his desk in panic-stricken silence. He's not normally one to wish for natural disasters, but given the fact that he feels like a natural disaster at the moment, he's kind of hoping for a bigger one to come along and cancel him out — a tsunami, a sharknado, a black hole, a meteor, anything — didn't he just read an article the other day about how the sun is supposed to explode and take out the earth? Why couldn't that happen right now? Why couldn't—

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he nearly leaps out of his seat, fishing it out with the same level of trepidation as a march to the gallows.

One New Message From Derek Hale.

Fuck.

This is it, he thinks. This is the moment where everything changes. He'd spent all semester working up a steady flirt, getting the guy to laugh at his lame jokes, casually dropping random bits of trivia about their coursework well before Professor Harris covered it so Derek would think he was smart, getting to know all of his favorite bands and books and movies and tv shows. 

Hell, he even knew how the guy took his coffee — black, with a dash of hazelnut creamer — after overhearing his usual order in the school café, delighting in the way Derek's eyes lit up every time he'd show up to class with an "extra" cup he'd ordered "by mistake" and offer it to Derek with a casual, Oh cool, that's your favorite flavor too? What a crazy random happenstance!

All that time spent pretending he actually knew what the fuck he was doing when it comes to romance, and then he goes and ruins it by being…well, himself.

Stiles takes a deep, steadying breath as he slides his thumb over the notification bar and opens up their chat history, dread washing over him at all the possibilities of what he might encounter — a scathing rejection, or— oh god, maybe even a photo of Derek's super hot secret boyfriend, just to rub it in — but no, that's not the kind of person Derek is. If anything, he'll probably be really nice about it and let him down gently, which is honestly worse.

Whatever he's expecting, it definitely isn't—

…his own face?

Or, more accurately, a photo of himself — hair sticking up at gravity-defying angles from rolling straight out of bed and rushing to class earlier this morning, hooded sweatshirt a perfect match for the furious blush blossoming beneath the smattering of moles and freckles scattered across his cheekbones and the column of his throat — followed by a single line of text.

Text Message From Derek At 8:55AM: since we're sharing, here's the guy I've got a crush on

Stiles's gaze snaps up so fast he nearly kinks his neck, heart fluttering inside his chest at the sight of Derek staring back at him from across the crowded lecture hall with a big, goofy grin on his face. By the time Stiles manages to school his features into something other than open-mouthed shock, Derek has already looked away, eyes cast downward as he taps out another text. Seconds later, Stiles's phone lights up.

Text Message From Derek At 8:57AM: so you gonna ask him out, or what? 

Stiles stares down at his phone, hardly daring to believe it. He wills his one working brain cell to think of something clever, something charming, something that'll sweep Derek right off his feet — wills his hands to move so that he can write back something, anything at all, instead of just hovering uselessly over the keyboard — when the bell rings, signaling the end of class, and a third text appears in the thread.

Text Message From Derek At 9:00AM: I guess I'll just have to do it myself ;)

Stiles wonders, vaguely, if it's possible to die of heatstroke from the temperature of your own skin. At the very least, he's destined for a heart attack, with the rate his pulse is pounding. Derek — snarky, surly eyebrows, will growl at you like a feral wolf if he hasn't had his morning coffee — just texted him a winking emoji, and Stiles thinks he might genuinely die from sheer lack of oxygen.

He glances up in time to see Derek striding purposefully toward him, worn leather jacket draped over his shoulders, textbook tucked under one arm. He comes to an abrupt halt in front of Stiles's desk, and for a moment, he looks just as nervous as Stiles feels.

"Hey," he says in a would-be casual tone, but the smile that curls across his lips is nothing short of giddy, the tips of his ears a delicate shade of pink.He takes a deep breath, fiddling with a small tear in one of the thumbholes of his henley, and says, "So I'm thinking coffee at that new place that just opened up down the street. You in?"

There's the slightest tremor to his voice as he speaks, and Stiles nearly surges forward and kisses him right then and there, because it's just about the cutest goddamn thing he's ever seen.

"Yes," he answers in a breathless rush, nearly toppling over his desk and bowling over half his classmates as he slings his backpack over his shoulder. "Oh my god, yes. I am so in."

Derek merely chuckles and shakes his head, all fond exasperation as he reaches down to lace his fingers with Stiles's, giving his hand an affectionate, reassuring squeeze, before steering them in the direction of the quaint little coffee shop downtown.

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

*rubbing my hands with mischief* guess who found an incorrect quotes generator

So here is a compilation of incorrect quotes from the Astyanax lives/daddy Odysseus AU

Odysseus: Once Astyanax thanked me and I couldn’t decide between “No problem!” and “No worries!” so I yelled “No worms!” to them as they walked away.

--

Astyanax, smol, facing a threat: I am in charge of this disaster!

Odysseus: I have a name, you know.

Astyanax, smol, a little shit: Polyphemus knows

Odysseus: ...

The threat: HAHAHAHAHA

--

Astyanax: Hey Odysseus, can I get some ice-cream?

Odysseus: Only a spoonful!

Astyanax: *Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.*

Odysseus: ...

Odysseus, tearing up: that's my boy

--

Astyanax, looking at Odysseus: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

Odysseus: I hEaR tHaT

--

Astyanax when he's told about the whole horse thing, looking at Odysseus: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

--

Astyanax, at Odysseus: Of course you have blood all over you, and pronouns.

Odysseus: I use he/him pronouns...?

Astyanax: FOR THE LAST TIME, EVERYONE HAS PRONOUNS...

--

Astyanax: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Astyanax, earlier while Odysseus was messing up (again): I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

--

Astyanax "I was raised by Odysseus what did you expect" of Troy: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes. That barrel? Not clothes. That middle-aged man who invaded Troy? Not clothes.

--

Astyanax: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?

Odysseus: Fake?

Astyanax: ...

--

Odysseus: We'll talk about this later.

Astyanax: Fine, I won’t be listening.

--

Odysseus: I will beat all of you in Rock, Paper, Scissors. You go first.

Astyanax: Rock.

Odysseus: Paper.

Astyanax: ...

Odysseus: First rule, never trust anybody

--

Astyanax: I am going to need you to swear-

Odysseus: Fuck.

Astyanax:

Astyanax: ...swear as in promise.

--

Astyanax: Don't have a bookmark? Try ketchup instead!!

Odysseus: What makes you think I read?

Astyanax: ...right, my mistake, that explains a lot of things.

Odysseus: now I'm offended

Astyanax: like the time I was offended by a wooden horse?

Odysseus: ...

--

Odysseus: So, I've been thinking Astyanax-

Astyanax, young but tired of this bs: That's dangerous.

--

Odysseus: Damn, the power went out.

Astyanax: Don’t worry, I got this.

Astyanax: *stomps foot*

Odysseus: What-?

Astyanax: *Sketchers light up*

--

Odysseus: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

Astyanax, looking at the sea: I wish Poseidon would take me now

--

Odysseus: The joy of hanging out with Astyanax. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and he bites the tip of a marker off.

--

Odysseus: I should have left you on that street corner where you were standing

Astyanax: bUt YoU dIdN't

--

Astyanax: Odysseus, when’s your birthday?

Odysseus "I'm still thinking about the infant from that night" of Ithaca: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Astyanax: …So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.

Have some Odysseus and Hermes, as a treat:

Odysseus: Hi, I'm Hermes's emergency contact.

Counter Woman: You're here to pick him up?

Odysseus: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

[miyaheestar]

live reaction to the pack wedding audio

KISS SJSGJS DAVID KISS HAIII HAI DAVID 🥺🥺🥺

"i just want a little time with you today, before everything goes crazy" MSHSMHDMSHSM IM GONNA GO INSANE

IM GOING INSANE IM IM GOING IM INSANE IM ACTUALLY DGINGSJSYSISGSKGAJA

"how are you feeling?" NOT GOOD MY BODY TEMPERATURE IS HIGH IM GOING INSANE FYM YOU TOO

"WE MADE IT" WHAT IF I DONT MADE IT WHAF IF I CRY WHAT IF YOU DIE DO NAWT SAY YOU LOVE ME I WILL CRY DAVID SHAW I WILL ACTUALLY CRY SO HARD

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY"HE SOUNDS SO FUCKING HAPPY AND SOFT IM ACTUALLY CRYING IM NOT NAWT OKAY IM NOT PLS DONT DO THIS TO ME PLS

"beautiful" i haven't showered and i didn't sleep and it's 7 am in the morning are you blind

"you are. especially first thing in the morning. still all sleepy and cuddly and relaxed. im the luckiest man in the world to get to see it everyday.. for the rest of my life" do you want me to die?

MGSMSGSMSHSM I WANNA CRY SEND HELP SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOSBSOSBSOSBSOSJSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOWIS

pls i will actually cry

"you fucking menace" IM YOUR MENACE HAH

KISS

ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHER ASHWR ASHWR ASHERA AHEEDHA ASHER AHSER ASHW AAGE

oh he eepy baby 🥺

good morning asher 🥺

"oh my god it's actually today holy shit it's actually happening" HE'S LIKE ME FOR REAL FOR REAL

"when did you wake up" you think i sleep?

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH SEXY?? AYO I KNOW I AM SEXY

"IM GONNA BE YOUR HUSBAND" WHAT IF I CRY WHAT IF I CRY WHA IF I ACTUALLY LOSE IT THEN WHST IF I DIE WHAT IF YOU DIE OH GOD DON'T DIE ASHER PLEASE

IM TEARING UP DONT DO THIS TO ME

ASHER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHY YOU'RE NOT REAL

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABE" I SAID IT FIRST SO THAT MEANS I LOVE YOU MORE

DAMN RIGHT ASHER DAMN RIGHTTTTT

"about the person who matters to me more than anything else in the whole damn world" STOP STOP THIS OFFICER OFFICER A WEREWOLF TRYNNA SEDUCE ME HE TRYNNA SEDUCE ME SIR I WILL DIE SIR IM BEING SEDUCED

okay scene change

SAM AND ASHER AUGSUAGUAGUAGUAGAUFAUAGAHHUFAHHHH

"mate pairs shouldn't see each other in the morning" DAMN RIGHT SO TRUE HEWL YEAHHH

MILOOOOOO MY BIG.. um SMALL BIG BOY

"grouchy grandpa" HELPPPP "now don't you start." HELLAGSISGSKSG HAHAHAHAHA

"oh my mistake" YOU'RE SO SASSY

... ITS JUST SILENCE HELPP IM CRYING

ERIK PLEASE HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE SO 😭😭😭

ERIK BODOH LAH KAU NI 😭😭😭😭

HELP PLEASE ENOUGH SILENCE PLS THIS IS WAY TOO FUNNY I'LL THROW UP

IM CRYING

STOP THIS

IT'S TOO LONG STOP THE SILENCE ERIK I WILL EAT YOUR HAIR AND YOU'LL BE BALD

ERIK

LMAO MILO NOT THE WARNING

CHRISSY

"are you trying to look like you got married in wind tunnel" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HELPPP MILO PLEASE

"im fine.. i-im not" ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO

aww grandpa sam 🥺🥺🥺

AWWW DAVID HELPING ASHER

"david, can i ask you something?"

STOP STIP SRSOSO STIP SFOP STOP BITCH STOP I WIWLL CRY

"well i did" DO YOU WABT ME TO KILL EVERYONE THEN MYSELF

im not okag im not ojay im not okay I AM NOT OKAY

i cant do this I'll actually pass out

i cant

im hypervinelantagwtbf

"my dad-" SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP DAVID SHAW SHUT UP

"i picked you because you're the one person i trust more than anyone else. you made me feel safe." I WILL ACTUALLY LOSE IT

I WILL LOSE IT

I WILL NO

I WIGSKSGWK

I AM GONNA CRY

"i was a decent alpha but i wasn't a very good friend" so you want me to kill myself

i am genuinely gonna cry

THEY'RE HUGGING IM GONNA CRYYYYYYY IN GONANNAHSGSISFWKSFISV IM NOT OKAY

"ash euw" I LOVE THAT

MILO DO NAWT HURT MA MAN I WILL EAT YOUR REMAINING HEIGHT

MILO SPEECH

"how much does it pay" BOSGSISGSJGAHAGAGAGAGAHAHAGAHA STAPH

what if i jump

i will jump

i won't

i will

i wont

I WILL SOB I WILL WIBSUSVWKSGSJ STOPAHSGSOGSOSGS

IM GETTING MARRIED YALL

IM IM IM IM

IM GONNA GET MARRIED

it sounds like asher and david getting married LMAO

"um" classic opening

asher if you cry YOU BETTER BE CRYING okay he's gonna cry

what if asher dies after his vows

I WILL BE A WIDOW OH GOD

"i love you" IM GONNA KILL MYSELF AND EAT ERIK'S HAIR

so it's just silence and giggles for babe's speech

got it

it's okay i love asher's giggles

"angel" I WILL JUMP BRO

I WILL

I WILL

I WONT IM SCARED OF HEIGHTS

david please cry

PLEASE CRY

GO FULL ON SOBBING

why guy is not angel's brother

HE'S CRYING YALL CHEERS

CHEERS

and he's laughing too

BUT HE'S CRYING YEAYYYYY

LMAO MILO HAHAHAHAGAHA PLEASEEEE

IT SOUNDS LIKE ASHER AND DAVID KISSING WOAH

... I NEED MORE

ERIK ERIK ERIKSON

[mrs-barnes-rogers-writes]

Our Lost Girl, Our Babydoll - Part 2

Marvel AU

Pairing: Alpha Steve Rogers x Omega Reader x Alpha Bucky Barnes

Theme: A/B/O

Summary: A bookshop and a spilled coffee leads you to Clint. He leads you to Natasha, and you lead them both to your best friend Darcy. They try to introduce you to Bucky and Steve but you're full of excuses and Irish goodbyes. Until Bucky catches your scent on Natasha and he's sliding in your DM's and offering to help pack up Darcy's apartment. Steve wants to give their bookworm the world and your Irish goodbyes won't slip passed him, because his eyes never leave you. But what's giving you the lost look in your eyes?

Chapter Summary: Why is the reader late? And what is girl talk?

Bucky and Steve scrambled, knocking into each other as they tried to get to the door first. The noise alerted the others to the scuffling.

“It’s the coffees you idiots.” Natasha called from the now open door. "You would have smelt if it was her."

Clint sniggered as he went to help Nat, passing out the coffees as he returned.

“You know I thought it was just Clint that went to clown school.” Sassed Sam.

“Hahahahaha.” Bucky replied dryly.

“Oh leave them, it’s sweet how excited they are.” Came Maria’s reply.

“See.” Steve said looking at Bucky knowingly.

“She said sweet, not cute.” Bucky grumbled, as he perched on Darcy’s couch, pulling a danish from the bag that had been placed on the coffee table. Sam went to deliver another quip but Steve shook his head, noticing Bucky’s sulking.

“Don’t worry Yasha, she’ll be here soon.” Nat added, glancing at her phone. Darcy glanced over to look and then showed Nat something on her phone.

“To be fair it’s not like her to be late. Is she OK?” Maria asked.

Before there was chance to answer Steve and Bucky jumped to their feet, startling the others and started to dust themselves free of crumbs. Steve searched his pockets for a mint, wanting to avoid coffee breath and Bucky ran his fingers through his hair. Darcy decided to take the opportunity to tease them.

“You ok their fellas or did my best friend just walk up the street?”

There was laughter around the room as Nat stood, grabbing your Strawberry Frappe, a danish and a napkin.

“Wait, where are you going?” Asked Steve.

“Girl talk. Stay.” Replied Natasha, exchanging a quick glance with Maria, who nodded quickly.

“We aren’t dogs.” Grumbled Bucky.

“No, you’re over excited alphas.” She replied, pulling Darcy through the door and closing it quickly.

Bucky huffed and threw himself onto the sofa dramatically. The group tried to stifle their laughter. Clint struggled the most and let out a chuckle.

“Yeah, I know, I know, I’m over excited blah blah blah.” Complained Bucky.

“That’s not why I’m laughing actually, Nat was worse than you. She changed outfits four times, brought three different bouquets of flowers and ordered six different blankets. Y/N had to tell her to and I quote ‘calm the fuck down, you look like you’re about to hump her’. To be fair Darcy looked hot. I struggled and I just had my beta urges to contend with.”

“Yeah but at least you got a date, all we’ve got is avoidance.” Grumbled Bucky, “Steve stop staring at the door, she’s not gonna magic through it.”

Steve was now the one to huff.

“What exactly is ‘girl talk’ anyway?” He asked, as they all turned to look at Maria.

As you neared Darcy’s building you got a whiff of Steve, closely followed by what you now knew to be Bucky. You saw the main door to the apartment open and panicked for a second, worried it was them. Realising their scents were still a bit of a distance away you sniffed and got a whiff of your best friend and soon to be mate, spotting them both soon after.

You quickly brushed the tears from your face and took a deep breath. Time for the ‘I’m fine’ face.

“Heyyyyy, it’s moving day! I’m so sorry I’m late, my appointment ran over, I’m here now and I have everything” you kept your voice light, tapping your bag. Darcy barrelled into you, hugging you tightly.

“Why were you at the doctors?”

“What, errrr I wasn’t, it was an eyebrow appointment.”

Darcy pushed your hair away to look at your eyebrows and shook her head disappointingly.

“When did we start lying to each other?”

“Fuck” you muttered, “how’d you know?”

“First, we went three days ago to get them done together, remember, AND Natasha tracked your phone.”

“For fuck sake Romanoff!!!” You snapped as you shot a look at her, as she hovered a few steps behind Darcy.

“I have a danish and your awful pink drink.” Nat replied, holding them out.

You side stepped Darcy and grabbed your drink and danish from Nat’s hands, letting out a huff as you sat on the building steps.

Darcy quietly followed and sat beside you, brushing your hair away from your face again, this time spotting the tear marks on your cheeks. Nat sat a few steps back, observing you both.

“I’m worried.”

“Don’t be. It was a checkup.”

“On a Saturday?”

“Specialist clinic, runs twice a month, this was the only slot, I’ve been waiting three months. I’m sorry I was late, they were running behind and then I couldn’t get an Uber and then there’s an accident a few blocks down, I walked the rest, I’m sorry.” You went to stand but Darcy grabbed at you.

“What’s going on?”

“Darcy this is your day, you don’t need to hear my bullshit.”

“Yes, I do, you always hear my crap and I wanna hear yours. What is it? Is it your suppressants? Shit, is it suppressants sickness?”

You sighed.

“A little, my body it’s, well it’s not exactly happy about being on them so long and”

“And?”

“And…… I want a baby."

Enjoy this fic? Fancy a cuppa? My Ko-Fi.

Tag list

@shellybellysstuff

[dr-spectre]

WE DID IT!!!!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!! This is such a big milestone. Halfway until 1000 followers... that's absolutely insane!!

This will be the last follower update until we reach 1000. But, I wanna share something special with you all and get rather personal...

So, about a year ago, I wanted to learn how to draw because I was feeling depressed about "not being productive enough." Basically I got sucked into the bullshit productivity self help stuff that wants to turn your life into a cold calculated work obsessed nightmare, rather than living in the moment due to fear mongering about the future and how "if you don't grind now you WILL be a failure and die alone and get no pussy." (No wonder I picked Team Present for the Grand Fest...)

Plus I dropped out of uni at the time and welp, to put it lightly, I was feeling fucking god awful and I was scared into basically "putting in the hard work" by all these self help channels and other bullshit online. Whatever the FUCK that vague shit means, my autistic brain still doesn't get it.

It was BY FAR the worst period of my life, but, at least I tried to do SOMETHING. And I wanna show you all some of the things that I drew last year....

This was between October 2023 to February 2024. I stopped drawing due to it causing me much frustration and anger.

So yeah! Uh... enjoy?

So.... not the best work you've seen, right? HAHAHAHAHA!

Would you freak out if I told you that I got upset and damaged a book and a fan because I got so mad at myself over not being able to draw or do anything right?...

I feel like this ain't for me, and you know what? That's okay! I've learnt that it's okay to try new things, it's okay to experiment and if shit doesn't work then it doesn't work. Plain and simple. It's perfectly fine to give up and try something else.

You are not a robot, you are a human being. Don't feel like you "gotta do something everyday otherwise you'll die alone and you'll be broke and you'll never be successful and you'll be forgotten!!"

Do feel pressured to feel like you have to "find your thing" or "be productive" or whatever kind of... heh.... BRAINWASHING you hear online.

I wanted to draw because I was jealous of others, including my friends who are skilled artists... and I did it for the wrong reasons which is why I stopped in February.

I am very happy that I've decided to actually focus on what i like doing and what gives me energy. A quote that has stuck with me for years now is a quote by Jordan Peele from an interview, and it's basically this-

"Follow the fun." And you know what? He's right. Following what gives you that good good boost of dopamine while also feeling like you're accomplishing something is one of the best feelings EVER!!!! Whether it's art, writing, modelling, sculpting, architecture, making music, acting, clay sculptures, etc. FOLLOW THE FUN!! FOLLOW THE SHIT THAT EXCITES YOU!!! I literally always have multiple projects spiralling around in my head all the time and cycling between them at every given moment.

I'm not even saying do only what makes you comfortable or be lazy either, do shit that makes you go "BRING IT ON!!!! I WANNA DO THIS!!!" Get that blood pumping!!! Challenge yourself fairly!!!! There's healthy and unhealthy stress. Healthy stress should make you feel like a fucking PREDATOR!!! AN ANIMAL ON THE HUNT!!! While unhealthy stress makes you feels like you're the prey, the one who's being chased by an unknown force that's out to get you!!

I feel like I'm kinda rambling... anyways!!! ENOUGH WITH THE INSPIRATIONAL BULLSHIT!!! THANK YOU ALL!!!!!! 99% of you have been awesome and incredible!!!

It's also been an honor to get to know so many people who feel the same way as I do about a certain squid lady and her best friends.... before I went onto tumblr I genuinely felt so alone and so insane. I felt isolated, I felt like no one saw these characters the way that I do... I thought my perspective of a certain squid lady and her rebel phase was invalided and false... But now I know that I have people who have my back and understand what I'm trying to express...

One final time, thank you. I'll keep going.

STAY FRESH!!!!!!!!!!

[lunamochii]

'biceps or thighs?!' atsumu miya x f!reader

°°°°°

"Truth or dare! First one to chicken out will buy each of us a icecream!"

You cringe hearing what your friend suggested. You and your friends are currently sitting down inside the gym, with your bags toss on the side.

"Let's use Saya-chan's waterbottle to spin and see who it lands!"

"Can I back out?" You raise your hand and all of them glared at you, making you groan "Nah-uh! Or if you want, then you'll have to buy us icecream!" Haruka, the one who propose the game, grin at you and all you could do is click your tongue and settle on the side of Rita.

There are only four of you and your silently, screaming, inside your head for the waterbottle not to land on you. It landed first to Haruka and you breath out a sigh of relief

"Ha! Truth or dare!" Rita exclaim and you snickered seeing the betrayed look of Haruka

"The fuck... fine! Dare!"

Hearing this, Saya leans in towards Rita and whispered something and two girls began to laugh

"I dare you to clean the whole gym after this game!"

If there's one thing that Haruka is good at, it's skipping her turn on cleaning duty.

"You two- you gang up on me! Not fair!" Haruka cross her arms and Rita just shook her head in disapproval

"Remember Haru~ you're gonna buy us icecream if you don't do it•~"

You think that by now maybe Haruka regretted making that kind of penalty

"Ugh whatever! I'm gonna spin it!" Haruka exclaim and twist the bottle and when she let go, it's spinning very fast and you're staring at it intently.

"Please let it not be me!" You said out loud and when it halted, it stopped at Rita and you can't help but scream in joy

"Hahahahaha!!! Rita! Truth or dare!"

"Hng- truth!"

Haruka's lips curve into a smirk, she moves closer to Rita and slump her arms on her shoulders and wiggled her eyebrows

"Who do you like in our men's voleyball team?"

You and Saya couldn't help but tease Rita at the same time, it is about time she should be honest to herself. She mumbled something but all of you didn't hear it so Haruka tease her even more

"I said it's Suna Rintaro!"

The three of you were slightly taken back as she scream the man of her dreams, it took you all 10 seconds to recover before you are all lightly poking her sides and teasing her.

"Suna, huh?"

"I mean, I've seen him look at your way whenever we watch any of their matches."

"Ahh get off!! I'm spinning!!"

Rita reach for the bottle and spins it, just right after you sat back down the bottle came into halt and it's lid is facing your way. You gulp hard and your friends are hot on your trail

"Truth or dare!"

They all said or scream in unison but you can clearly hear how they emphasize the word 'truth'

"Cal- What are you guys doing here? Shouldn't you be in class?"

Since your back is facing the entrance of the gym you couldn't see who came in but you can already make up who just said that and who's with them

"Kita-senpai! We have no class and our P.E subject just ended. We figured out that to just stay here!"

Saya beam and you giggled seeing Haruka's cheeks slowly turning pink. Well, she got a huge crush on the captain of your school's voleyball team.

"I see, but why are you all huddled up on the corner?"

"Oh we're just playing truth or dare."

"Really?! We wanna join!"

You heard the squeaky sounds made by their shoes as they ran up to where you are, Saya who saw how frozen the two of her friends. She laugh to herself.

"Actually, it's her turn!" Saya pointed at you, Rita and Haruka is quick to regain their composure

"Yeah! Truth or dare!"

"Truth!"

You heard your friends scream and the three of them huddled together and kept on whispering. You can also feel the presence of the one man who can make your heart wanna break-free from your chest.

"Alright!! Answer us with nothing but the truth!"

You nod and gulp nervously, you see how they all glance at each other before nodding and snickering to themselves, you have a bad feeling.

"Atsumu-san's thighs or biceps?!"

Your jaw drop and you can feel the heat coming up to your cheeks, you quickly got up to your feet and was about to tackle them but they were faster and avoided your wrath

"I'll kill you three!!"

Despite with your threats, the three of them just laugh

"Answer us!"

Now, it's not only them but the other members of the voleyball team joins in too. Great, your afternoon is nothing but a embarassing memory.

Amidst of your distress, you felt a pair of arms snake it's way to your waist and hugging you from the back, you can hear the whistling and 'ooooh' of your friends

"Why don't you answer it, babe? I'm also curious."

Right, sometimes it slides off your mind that you are dating one of the popular members of your team.

"If you don't answer, you'll have to buy all of us a icecream!"

"Why do I have to buy for the team too?! Kita-san!"

You look at their captain but his just smiling and waiting for your answer

"I'll start tickling you if you don't answer"

Atsumu threaten and his hands are already holding your hips firmly

"Thighs!!! I like your thighs!!"

•••••••••

"My thighs are free of use to you~ so come and lay down!"

He pat it and your face got red immediately and throw the pillow you were holding at him

"It's been 6 years! I'm over of your thighs now!"

You defended yourself, ever since that embarassing confession you did during your highschool days, there was not a single day that Atsumu didn't tease you for it. He didn't let it go even after you guys decided to move in togetherafter college.

"I thought you're over it?"

"Shut up."

Atsumu laughs which you shut him up by using your right hand to cover his mouth. You can't say no if he invites you like that to lay your head on his thighs.

You felt him grab your hand so you open your eyes and saw he kiss the ring, the one he used when he propose to you.

"I love you" he said and you smile warmly at him

"I love you too.... and your thighs."

°°°°°°°

bonus part☆

You ask him once if he could wrap his thighs around your head and he looked at you with weird expression but eventually you got him to do it.

It was the best day of your life.☆

[novicedraws]

your biggest fan here

So evil Lao and Raiden didn’t know each other [closely] before becoming enemies, huh? ig it felt like they had a history because when they are not fighting Raiden seems… chill/tolerant to Lao? XD like “are you fr breaking into my room through a window? kinda rude but sure ig” lmao

How did he ended up in this situation then? 👀 did he just fell for the Bad Boy charm, or was there something more? they love to hold each other in arms while wounded, do they have a common enemy who brought them closer??

🍀

omg, its you again! hola hahahahaha Yea that's my bad lol I tend to draw "story beats" out of order so I can see why the confusion. So if you don't mind, imma kinda look like this

First Meeting - The start of it all, atp the Shaolin have been winning and gaining back territories and recourses from the Red Dragon. Kung Lao is called in to "fix" the problem. Raiden only knows by word of mouth about Kung Lao (vise versa Kung Lao with Raiden). Kung Lao is more amused about this new "champion" as he doesn't see him as a threat (until he gets his ass beat in that first encounter lol) obviously the two still don't like each other.

The Girls are Fighting - probably the least amount of drawings out of the arcs. honestly that one drawing is even leaning more towards "changing Point". essentially, This is the messy part of the story. both the champions don't like each other what so ever. its also the longest part of the "story" (months time in the story) Mavado/ rest of the Red Dragon starts picking up about this new threat. In turn they put more pressure on Kung Lao, it makes him so fucking mad. Its as if he's not a threat anymore. (he still very much so). Raiden on the other hand also gets pressure from his piers, the champion should have already fixed most of the issues already. ((side note - yea they should go after Liu Kang but *plot twist* Liu Kang is actually weakened. Its why he wont just rewrite the universe, something went terribly wrong, plus he's not a "public" figure)) both sides allies think they are getting "obsessed" with the other.

Changing Point - Raiden by default is a nice person, even in this rough situation. So seeing how this war just brings so much pain and suffering he goes for a different tactic. Diplomacy with Kung Lao- just enough to try and reason with him. It doesn't exactly work and in that moment of vulnerability Kung lao takes his chance to disarm Raiden. Raiden can keep up with Kung Lao but he panicked with his amulet stolen, so he did the most crazy thing (aka kiss him). If you asked, Raiden has no idea why he would even go for that tactic he just panicked lol. But he didn't hate it, no matter how much he tells himself otherwise.

Feelings? - Mavado gets wind of the new annoying champion, and sees how Kung Lao is annoyed with him...or is he? Mavado knows Kung Lao's mannerisms, hes 90% sure its not hatred. And knowing that, he feels...annoyed, mad, upset even? but instead of actually thinking about it, he acts petty and tries to hurt them both (alt. to fighting). He hurts Raiden at the party- Raiden doesn't know why he's upset seeing that. And Kung Lao doesn't know why he cares for Raiden's feelings. - Kung Lao knows how to sneak around (he had to for survival) so he often goes to see the enemy front (its often how he's able to defeat the enemy) but this one night is different. He see's Raiden very close to another individual (smoke). He doesn't care who or what that person is, he does not like them being that close to Raiden. (this is bit of a toxic trait- not enough to thinking of killing that individual- but immense jealousy)

Earth Realms Champion Injured - Raiden is one man, and while he's very strong and powerful, he's still a humble farm boy. He tries to please everyone and over works himself to the point of almost passing out in battle. The pressure and stress has got to him at this point. Despite telling everyone he's fine. He almost dies in battle but Kung Lao comes in just in time to save him. He sees the state Raiden in and is pissed. (just to note they are not fighting each other here, this is a separate issue trying to take over- aka Shang Tsung's army) Long story short (i wanna draw something later lol) Raiden is out of commission for a bit.

Something Changed - Raiden got better! but something strange keep happening during his recovery. Little gifts and such keep popping up in his room, he tries asking the others, but they deny leaving anything. He knows who it is, but he doesn't want to believe it really because why would he care about him? they are enemies, sure there's something, and he's scared. He shouldn't have these feelings, but he does. Is Kung Lao playing with his feelings? Is he just messing with him before killing him once and for all? He doesn't know. - Until one night, he stayed up enough to catch Kung Lao enter his room looking...normal. Soft. A little exhausted by the bags under his eyes. Its the first time in a while the two have gotten to see and talk to each other after all the shit they gone through. Just the two of them alone for once. They both know things were never going to stay the same again, and they don't hate that. That night they embraced each other as though they were meant to be together.

Omg Change Pt. 2 - Still working on it LMAOOOOOO--- the two now know what the other is feeling. orrrrr they're trying lol. Kung Lao is raised to keep emotions in otherwise its a weakness and can be used against you. Raiden learns people pleasing is how he is able to help his village. Its how he got injured in the first place. so they are both trying to work on it lol - will they have a happy ending? idk but thats for later hahaha.

Theres still gaps in the story, but honestly that comes in when I actually draw them in lol

So just some small spark notes I couldnt fit up above- - Raiden becomes more tolerate of Kung Lao around Changing Point. His feelings also start to slowly build up. Same with Kung Lao. - While he's not exactly against sex, Raiden definitely had a more tame upbringing. He's raised as a farm boy, and trained as a monk. Kung Lao existence alone is making the poor boy spiral LOL. Poor man is having a crises as to why he's feeling these things, he shouldn't! but he does! (also kind of makes him insecure but Kung Lao reassures him to never think like that) - The parts from changing point to omg change pt. 2 is actually short in terms of time compared to the girls are fighting.

OMGGGGGGG that was a lot, I hope I answered at least one question LOL

[beanghostprincess]

Usopp is soo Sanji's babygirl but he's like "What if a man was like a girl and I liked him very much and got really stressed if I did not have him close to me constantly and even kicked my captain to defend him and lost my mind if somebody ever hurt him like. Like what is THAT called hahahahaha. I am straight tho I like girls. Women. Boobs. He's like a girl but man, y'know. Because I like him but I cannot like a man but he's like a girl to me so it is fine" and Zoro is like "Just admit you wanna fuck him and stop giving us all a headache" and Luffy is like "NAHHH THAT IS SO NORMAL BEHAVIOR!!! ME TOO!!!" but turns out he's actually gay for Usopp too and they're all poly. That's One Piece to me.

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

catholic!reader making eddie go to church after losing a bet hahahahaha

LMAO CAN YOU IMAGINE (also i got off tangent a little IM SORRY)

eddie would get up to all kinds of shenanigans during mass. he would pretend to convulse every time he looks at a cross, would pretend to be burnt when he reached into the holy water, would make some kind of comment about Jesus being ripped, and would probably fall asleep at one point before waking up to eucharist and “free food and wine.” the wine would be the highlight of his whole churchgoing experience

and don’t get me started about what he would do to her dad. he would be messing with him through the entire service and would make some comment about catholic reader. probably something along the lines of, “your daughter is more eager to get on her knees for me than she is for god,” or “there’s a lot of kneeling involved here, no wonder she can stay on her knees so long,” or one of his personal favorites: “your daughter worships my cock better than she worships god, sir.”

needless to say, eddie is not asked back to church. she would be so annoyed with him and would want him to apologize, but eddie would see nothing wrong with what he did.

“am I really wrong?” he asks.

“yes!” she says. “you know how much i love god.”

“but you also love my dick,” he says, taking her by the waist and drawing her in closer. “you know what i wanna do?”

“what?” she asks, dreading his answer.

“I wanna bend you over that altar and fuck that pretty pussy until it’s dripping,” he says, snapping her underwear against her hip.

“eddie!” she says, eyes wide. “that’s really blasphemous!”

“so?” he asks. “maybe it’ll make me wanna go back to church.”

“my dad would never allow it,” she says. “he says you’re not welcome anymore.”

“your dad just hates me,” he says, wiggling his brows. “please? just this once.”

she considers it. “fine. but i’m gonna have to confess all this to my priest.”

“ill do that for you, too,” he says. “we can go in the confession booth and play that game.”

“you’re gonna get me in so much trouble,” she says with a sigh.

“it’ll be worth it, baby,” he says. “and we can make another bet.”

“oh?”

“yep. if you like it, ill come to church with you and i’ll behave myself from now on. if you don’t like it, you can confess it all to the priest and I’ll never come back to church ever again.”

“hm…okay. but if i like it, you have to come to church every sunday and you have to wear nice clothes.”

“deal. let’s go.”

[macsimagines]

sleep paralysis demon ran? halloweeny enough?

very spooky and yandere, but also hilarious because i just watched that brandon rodgers sleep demon video lmfao

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, DEMONS, NON-CON TOUCHING, SOMONOPHILIA , Weird warning but the gif i used in this is scary so pls be aware

Yandere!Sleep Demon Ran Haitani

You're just the cutest, Ran has always thought so from the moment his eyes met yours. And he was terrifying. You always thought so ever since he started haunting you as a kid.

Ran learned very quickly that he needs to feed off of fear in order to live, and he picked up on the fact that children were the easiest to scare. And you were always so scared of him darling.

It was almost like when a boy bullies another girl in his class because he had a crush, except the boy was another worldly being that decided you were going too be his personal meal for the rest of your life.

As a little girl he'd always find ways to torture your paralyzed form from everything like pinching to pulling on your hair and sometimes when he was feeling more sadistic biting.

You tried to get help, told anyone that would listen but no one wanted to listen to you cry about the monster hiding in your closet anymore and so you were left to bear Ran's sadistic bullying alone.

Over the years he got better at it too. Jump scares weren't having the same effect anymore you got too used to it over the years, but that fine because he was smart enough to evolve his tactics.

He got very good at creeping out of corners you could just barely see out of the corner of your eyes. Knowing that he was there but being unable to fully make out what he was going to do to you.

Somehow Ran trained himself to be able to whisper at you from all angles making you confused about where his voice was coming from and where he was really hiding at. Sometimes the things he would say would vary from threats, to maniacal laughs to down right unhinged.

"Keep shaking, baby girl, you look so tasty~ Can't wait to take a fuckin' bite out of you~!" "HAHAHAHAHA! Lookit how scared you are? Don't even know what I'm gonna do or where I'm comin' from!?" "You're so fuckin' beautiful. You're all mine~"

Years go by and you're an adult who will never truly have a good nights sleep. It doesn't matter whether or not he's really there and if he's really messing with you. You're too paranoid to sleep more than four hours without worrying if he's going to show up.

He's learned not to push you too far, he can't have his favorite meal going off the deep end. He needs you around. So he'll leave you alone for weeks, just sitting where he knows you can see him, watching...smiling.

Ran delights in terrifying you, the way your eyes go wide and your body shakes, unable to do anything. The way your body breaths so hard and heavy desperate to make any sound for help but choked by his force to keep your fucking mouth shut. He enjoys all of that but truthfully...

Ran loves to watch you sleep. Your delicate features when your relaxed, how soft your body is when you feel safe instead of rigid when you think you're in danger. Your lips slightly parted just enough for him to kiss...

It's unimaginable to a creature like him, but he does find himself wanting to be...affectionate to you. So he lets himself touch you gently, allows himself the privledge of being soft.

And this terrifies you even more... Your fear is so delectable when he's just looking down at you, hands rubbing your arms to soothe the aches he knows you have from working all day, brush the hair away from your face so he can take good looooong look at how cute you are...

Why are you so scared? He isn't trying to be scary right now? He wants to be nice to you. To be good to you... But you're just staring wide eyed and crying even.

"I just wanna touch, just be good and let me touch." he whispers gently, like you'd even have a choice or say in the matter. He wonders if he could have an actual conversation what you might say...

But its the curse of his people, human interaction beyond feeding is forbidden and his biology makes it so you naturally paralyze at the sight of him. Isn't that a shame...

"I just want to feel," he whispers to you crawling onto your bed to really get a good look at you, "Just want to know," he continues running his hand down your sides, you really are so warm, "How soft you really are."