#hahahaha....

[lyraeeee]

a terrible father

[ruskaroma]

IM BACK ABOUT THAT STEPDAD!JPHN WICK...

BITCH YOU NEED TO STOP OH MY GOD YOU NEED TO STOP MAKING ME HORNY EVERY NIGHT WITH YOUR ASKS THIS IS NOT OKAY.

anyways YES.

i have a veryyyy uhm, taboo yet sexy scenario.

You were fifteen when you first met John. Your mother’s boyfriend, as she had introduced. At the time, you didn’t exactly know what to feel about having another man around the house.

Your father left the two of you, you have a very bad case of daddy issues, and you didn’t quite trust John yet.

You thought he was good looking though, no wonder your mother picked him. John was also nice, helping around chores and making awesome dinners. He will buy you things, take you out on a stepdad/stepdaughter bonding time, spoils the fuck out of you that you straight up forgot about your old dad.

You were nineteen when the realization finally started to dawn into you.

You have a crush on your stepfather.

It’s shameful and so... fucking wrong. You’d just got out of puberty, you aren’t as innocent as John thinks you are.

You’d fantasize about him late at night, grinding your little pussy against your stuffed toys wishing it was his tongue, rubbing his beard against your thighs and calling you his “sweet little girl”.

It’s fucking wrong.

He basically raised you, and here you are imagining about fucking him – but it’s hard not to.

Not when John still treats you like the little girl he used to know. He still spoils you stuff, makes you sit on his lap when you’re feeling sad, rests his large hand on your thighs absentmindedly because for god’s sake, he is your father !

You shouldn’t think about him this way. You shouldn’t try to get into your stepfather’s pants when your mother is already sleeping in her room.

But when he’s looking at you like this, sitting on his lap and not so subtly grinding your ass against his cock through his pants, what the fuck are you supposed to do?

Face emotionless, but his eyes tell a thousand words.

“I know what you’re doing, sweet girl. I say you stop now before I do something I’ll surely regret later.”

[eikotheblue]

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[notherpuppet]

Alligator tears 🦌 🥲

The beauty of the pumpkin head joke is that the true joke is TELLING the joke to people.

For those who don’t know it, this is the joke:

A man with a pumpkin for a head walks into a bar. The bartender exclaims: “My god, I’m sorry, but WHAT happened to your head?”

The man sighs and says, “So I found a genie in a bottle who granted me three wishes…”

Bartender: “Ok, well what were the wishes?”

Man: “Well, my 1st wish was for 100 million dollars. AND I GOT IT!!”

Bartender: “WOW! Okay…what was the 2nd wish?”

Man: “For the 2nd wish, I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world to fall in love with me…AND I GOT THAT TOO!”

Bartender: “Incredible! So then…what was the 3rd wish?”

Man: “Now see…that’s where I really messed up…

I asked for a giant pumpkin head”

[kenchann]

dumb lil yuu doodles 🍊

[charliedzilla]

There is a huge hole in the market for sexy videos of nerds doing your taxes apparently.

[isolophilian]

something about Hephaestus saying "you're a good kid, Annabeth" really stands out to me. he didn't point out the very obvious about her, like her intellect and interest in his creations, or her hubris in thinking she could dismantle the chair. he said that she's a good kid. because Hephaestus was mistreated by the gods. because Annabeth was shunned by Athena. because he believes that gods shouldn't treat their own children like that and he wants to be better. because he knows how much it means to a little girl who's fought for approval from her own mother her whole life, whose father neglected her. because he wants to break the cycle. don't touch me

[derpderpi]

Is this kind of new trend?

Like piercing or "exploring" her guts? HAHAHA 😭😭😭😭😭

IM SO HORNY FOR HERRRR

[hotvampireadjacent]

[floweroflaurelin]

I’ve seen people drawing life series members in the Arcane art style and I wanted to give it a shot, so here’s Jizzie! It was a really fun exercise—who should I do next?

[procrastinationstationn]

midnight snack ideas

me

[xiewho]

i WILL take any excuse i have to draw the abernant sisters Btw

[plagalkey]

triple threat

[aimseytv]

[blondie-drawings]

KISS! THAT! ANDROID!