#hahahah that's a funny word

[snakegirllovehandles]

I drove for meals on wheels again today, after a long stretch when I couldn't because my car had a severe oil leak.

It's nice to be doing that again.

🙞-------------------------------------------🙜

I went to an estate sale on the way back from the meals on wheels office.

I'm feeling kind of strange, thinking about all the things I learned about the person who's estate it was just by seeing the stuff that was for sale.

She was a musician. Played jazz saxophone. She had lots of costume jewelry. She had a dog. In her last years she was bed bound or nearly so. She was born in the 30s, judging by the photograph I saw. And she had either grandchildren or nieces & nephews.

And, I think, she lived alone.

There's a strange feeling that I have, thinking about these things. The passage of time. Death, the end of connection between people. It's like sadness, but it's also like, reflection. Wistfulness, the barest hint of what it's like to watch a tragic play.

Finality, nostalgia, and a smidge of melancholy.

The old world blues.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

Today I learned about the english word "flibbertigibbet".

Today has been a good day.

[th3e-m4ng0]

the story isn't that impressive, just that today we had a group activity where we could get extra points for the Class if we answered questions ranging from common knowledge, to riddles and questions from the Actual subjects we saw in class

now, for context, only me and a friend are Really into transformers (with me being the most insane one about it) and the rest don't really care about tf. so i hope u can understand my surprise when the teacher started asking things —in the Common Knowledge section of the activity lol— such as "what was the object the autobots were looking for in the transformers 2007 movie", "what does the character 'brains' from the transformers movies change into", "what is the rest of starscream's dialogue when he said 'sometimes cowards....' ", "can transformers change into humans"— which aren't very hard questions and i'm Assuming he just googled random transformers quizzes but, yknow. not every day do i get extra points for Answering tf trivia

if i had a nickel for every time transformers Knowledge got me Points at school, I'd have two. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

[ellecdc]

May I please request poly!marauders x blunt/sarcastic reader when Sirius picks out readers outfit for a party.

Like he comes in with a shopping bag and throws her a skirt and “this black skirt will look lovely on you ☺️.”

“Sirius, you bought me a bloody headband.”

“It’s labeled a skirt, check the tag. ☺️”

“Rem is going to kill you”

“He’ll be too busy staring at you.”

James walking in and getting all blushy and remus trying not to stare like 👀

hahahah this was so funny - here's a little baby blurb for ya, pretend they're getting ready for an end of term party after their final exams in their final year <3

poly!marauders x fem!reader who tries on Sirius' newest purchase for her [485 words]

CW: immodesty, revealing clothing, suggestive language and ending

For quite some time, there had been nothing but the sound of your shuffling and the occasional curse under your breath before your voice permeated the dorm room. 

“I cannot wear this, Sirius.” You stated simply, and Sirius could almost see your hands resting on your hips as you shot him an unimpressed glare from behind the bathroom door. 

“Sure you can, doll.” Sirius responded just as simply. “I bought it for you.”

“I am one wrong move away from an indecency charge.” You continued. “Where’d you even buy this?” 

“A muggle store in London.”

“What section?”

Sirius let his magazine drop into his lap as he tilted his head at the bathroom door. “The women's section?”

“Sirius, this looks like a bloody head band.” You insisted as you flung the door open to expose yourself.

Sirius was immediately rewarded with the stunning vision of the majority of your body and a great expanse of skin, considering you’d tried on your new skirt he bought for you with the cropped shirt you’d already been wearing. 

“Fuck you look brilliant.” He breathed out as he took in the sight of you.

“I look half naked.” You volleyed. “What do you think Remus is going to say about this?”

“Thank you?” Sirius offered, eyes still glued to your abdomen. 

“He’ll have you bollocks.” You corrected, moving to look at yourself in the mirror as you tried to preserve your modesty by lifting the skirt up higher which only resulted in more of your arse showing, and pulling it down which only served to expose more of your midriff. 

Sirius was in heaven. 

“Are you two almost ready to go? I showered down at the pitch so only need to change bef-” James had been saying before stopping abruptly in the middle of the room - so abruptly, in fact, that Remus walked straight into him - to stare at your figure. 

“What is…what is that?” Remus started awkwardly, seemingly trying to avoid staring at the lower half of you and failing miserably at it. 

“It’s the new skirt I bought for her over the hols; isn’t she stunning?” Sirius responded salaciously, never removing his hungry gaze from you. 

“It’s downright indecent.” You muttered, but Sirius could see the signs of bashfulness flitting across your features at having all three men’s attention pointed directly at you. 

“It's…a lot.” Remus agreed, his gaze steady on you though he looked to be trying to make it appear it was analytical in nature vs hungry.

“It’s not enough…” James whispered; eyes glossed over and mouth slightly agape as he stared at you in reverence. 

“It’s perfect.” Sirius concurred. 

You groaned in exasperation. “I cannot go out like this.” You repeated.

“No, you’re right.” Remus agreed definitively, earning him an indignant sound from Sirius before he watched as the lycanthrope turned and locked the dorm room door before throwing up a silencing charm. “We’re not going anywhere.”

[auroreliis]

What about Reader with Deadpool powers and humor?

Oh Jason would love you.

Bruce would be stressed to the core. Despite the fact that you would probably be fine if you got injured, he is NOT taking chances. There will not be a single scrape on you. He doesn't want it to become a norm for you!!!!!!

And if there is a scrape on you? Then all hell breaks loose. Yeah, you'd better heed his words...

Dick, much like Bruce, is rather stressed, though he's a bit less obvious about it.

Huh? You wanna go run through a field of landmines for fun? Hahahahaa, sure, whatever you say. Now, come on. Let's get you to your room ^^ (You're getting locked in the basement tonight.).

Jason finds it hilarious. What a legend you are, absolutely precious. Would that he could take you out on patrols (You have powers, you'd be fine.). Even Dick is starting to get annoyed at Jay's laughter echoing through the manor whenever you say the most mundane thing ever. Be careful before they forbid you two from spending time together for good.

Tim is trying to relax around you, but he remains on edge.

Oh, hahahah. Yeah. Don't jump out that window, he really doesn't want to board it up...it's his last way to access fresh air.

Stephanie likes spending time with you most of the time, but sometimes you do things that are too reckless for her. Like, she gets it, the powers and everything, but do you really have to tumble down the staircase do get down quicker?

Cassandra is somehow always ahead of you and always behind the corner. You can never seem to get a moment away from her. She's probably worried, but you'll literally be fine, so why is she just standing there and watching you? Also, she's the one who stops you from going to the kitchen and experimenting with your powers using the knives and forks.

Duke is absolutely stressed. It doesn't help that he takes all your jokes wayyyy too seriously.

"WAIT NO- DON'T TRY TO BASH YOUR HEAD ON THE COUNTER TO SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE BRAIN SOUP- Oh...you...you weren't going to? Okay...good."

Damian thinks you're really funny, but he has to restrain himself from laughing at your jokes because he knows that they're made in bad taste.

He sees that Bruce isn't laughing and has to hold it back too, but wow, he really wanted to laugh when you said that you'd rather get crushed by a meteorite than hug Tim's sweaty form.

Also, he thinks that your power is really cool and he would give an arm and a leg for it.

[dr3amlab]

melt, jungkook x reader

SUMMARY — "I can't tell when your hair ends and mine begins"

PAIRING — jungkook x reader

GENRE — one shot, fluffffff 

WORD COUNT — idk, but not a lot hahahah.

WARNINGS — I didn’t proofread !!

The room was quiet, and not a sound could be heard from the usually buzzing streets of the city. A soft glow, coming from the bedside lamp, filled the space, casting long shadows on the wall. The entire space smelled like coconut and vanilla, and you mentally made a note to buy the same detergent.

Your heart beats a steady rhythm, a counterpoint to the quietude. You'd just slipped into bed, feeling relaxed after taking a shower. You had a long day at work and all you wanted was to be in your lover's arms.

The world outside faded as you nestled into the warmth of the sheets, and Jungkook’s arm naturally found its way around you. You lie there, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his body, but with a space between you that feels infinite in its intimacy.

You gently grabbed his right hand. Large, calloused palms, yet with soft, delicate fingers. You first traced the lines that tell stories, those lines that could tell you his entire fate and you secretly wished those same palms made you part of Jungkook's future forever. Then, you move to the tiny scars that tell stories of scraped knees and youthful adventures. His eyes are closed, a serene mask over the emotions you know churn within him. 

As your fingertips glide over his skin, you feel a tenderness you haven't felt before. This is a sacred space, a universe you're just beginning to explore. A universe you're grateful to be able to explore. 

His eyes flutter open, and you see a flash of vulnerability in their depths. It's a small scar, a delicate white line curving just beneath his eye. “Where did you get this?” you ask softly, your voice barely audible in the quiet room.

Jungkook's eyes flicker with a hint of amusement before turning serious. "Oh, this one," he traces the scar with his thumb,"it's from when I was a kid. Fell off my bike, scraped my face pretty bad." A small laugh escapes his lips. "I looked like a pirate for a while."

You chuckle softly, imagining him as a tiny pirate. "A pirate, huh? I can definitely see that." Your fingers trace the scar, feeling its smooth texture. It's a testament to his past, a part of the story that has shaped him

"I guess being a pirate toughened you up," you tease, a soft smile playing on your lips. He grins, his eyes crinkling at the corners. There's a boyish charm about him that's both endearing and captivating. 

Your fingers continue their exploration, moving from the scar to the delicate curve of his eyebrow, then to the bridge of his nose. His skin is warm beneath your touch, and you find yourself drawn deeper into this intimate moment. You can feel your heart racing. It's funny how he got your heart beating this fast even after being married for 4 years.

Jungkook's breathing deepens, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. You close your eyes, focusing on the sensation of his presence. The room is filled with a quiet intensity, a shared secret between the two of you. 

As your fingers trace the outline of his lips, you feel a surge of desire. You want to kiss him, to taste the sweetness of his mouth. But you hesitate, unsure if this is the right moment. The air between you is thick with unspoken words, and you're afraid of ruining this perfect intimacy. 

A gentle smile spreads across Jungkook's face as your fingers continue their exploration. His eyes, once filled with a playful glint, now soften, mirroring the tranquility of the room. You can feel the tension melting away from his body as your touch becomes a soothing balm. 

The silence between you is filled with a comforting warmth, a silent conversation of souls. You trace the line of his jaw, feeling the gentle stubble against your fingertips. It's a contrast to the smoothness of his skin.

Your heart skips a beat as your fingers brush against his lips. They are soft and inviting, a promise of sweetness to come. You hesitate for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. The anticipation is almost unbearable. 

Jungkook's eyes flutter open, and he looks at you with a mixture of desire and tenderness. His gaze holds you captive, and you feel a surge of courage. Slowly, you lean in, your lips brushing against his. It's a soft, gentle kiss, a whisper of affection. 

As the kiss deepens, you feel a surge of electricity coursing through your veins. Jungkook's arms tighten around you,pulling you closer. You melt into his embrace, surrendering to the moment.

The world fades away as you lose yourself in the magic of this connection. Time stands still, and all that matters is the two of you, lost in a world of pure bliss. 

Jungkook's gazes at you with a mixture of desire and tenderness. His breath is warm against your lips as he whispers, "You have the softest touch," his voice husky with sleep. 

A small smile plays on his lips as he pulls you closer, his arms tightening around you. "I could stay like this forever," he murmurs, his voice a gentle caress. You looked at him with a fluttering heart and stars in your eyes, "we have forever," you whisper back, your voice barely audible. 

Jungkook's eyes soften, and he pulls you even closer, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your cheek. "As long as it's with you," he murmurs, his voice filled with a depth of emotion that takes your breath away.

You decide to turn off the lamp, reaching for the switch with a drowsy sigh. Just as your fingers brush the cool metal, Jungkook stirs. His grip tightens around you, his voice a husky murmur against your ear.

"Don't," he pleads, a hint of playfulness in his voice. "Let's stay like this a little while longer."

A sleepy smile spreads across your face. "But it's getting late," you whisper, your voice thick with contentment.

He nuzzles closer, his warm breath tickling your neck. "Not for us," he murmurs. "you said we'll stay like this forever," he pouted

With a contented sigh, you let your hand fall back onto his chest. The soft glow of the lamp bathes the room in a warm, inviting light.

In all honestly, the light bothered you, but there isn't anything that would get you out of lover's arms. So, as an attempt to block the light, you buried your head in his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you towards sleep, a sound you'd like to hear forever.

[softspiderling]

illicit affairs - part seven | r.c

summary:

The shower was still raining down on you, and if the both of you weren’t buck ass naked, this would probably be incredibly romantic and you’d consider just spilling your guts to him. You exhaled deeply, blinking the water drops out of your lashes. What Rafe said made sense. But were you ready to give up more of him, just because you couldn’t keep your feelings in check?

“So? Are we putting a stop to this?”

OR; You deal with an intruder, lose your temper and Rafe and you take a shower.

pairing: rafe cameron x reader

warnings: SMUT! 18+ only! (oral male/female receiving)

word count: 2,6k

author's note: long awaited im guessing HAHAHAH i hope you have survived so far. finally introducing the third character of this series.... you all know him. as usual, happy reading and i look forward to hearing about your thoughts <3

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pt. seven: "tell yourself you can always stop"

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

The “intruder” was standing shock still, the two of you staring at each other. You didn’t think that was going to hurt you or anything, but the rollling pin was still raised in the air, ready to strike any second. While you didn’t necessarily share the disdain for pogues as your friends did, it didn’t mean that you trusted him. He broke into your house after all.

JJ Maybank, possibly the definition of a pogue, was standing in your hallway, hands raised in defense as he eyed the rolling pin in your hand. He looked almost bored.

“I said, what the fuck are you doing?” you repeated, your voice strained.

“Uh, standing. What are you doing, princess?”

You let the nickname slide, glaring at him.

“Defending myself against an intruder.”

“Intruder?

JJ barked out a laugh, his hands clutching his stomach like he just heard the funniest joke in his life, though he quickly raised his hands again when you pointed the rolling pin closer at his face.

“You just broke into to my house, what are you if not an intruder?” you asked, affronted.

“I didn’t break in on purpose!”

“Oh, so you just accidentally broke into my house??”

“Hey, to be fair, you left the door unlocked.”

“Are you blaming the victim right now?”

JJ bit back a grin, his hand slowly reaching out to lower the rolling pin. You let him, but remained wary, your arms dropping to your sides.

“What are you doing here JJ?”

JJ took off his cap, running his hand through his messy hair once before putting his cap back on.

You tried to ignore that you thought he was hot.

“I was coming out of Ruby’s and trying not to be seen by anyone, thought I could hide out here for a bit,” he explained and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Ruby Evans? She has a boyfriend.”

“Yeah well that would’ve been good to know before I hooked up with her and almost got caught by said boyfriend.”

You rolled your eyes at him. Figured JJ would be caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Obviously you knew JJ, but only really on the surface. You didn’t exactly run in the same circles. But you knew that Rafe didn’t really like him, neither did Topper, but mostly because JJ was John B’s best friend. Kelce didn’t really have much of an opinion except for the fact that he thought JJ was hot, so that was that. What you did know, however, was that JJ shared the same disdain for kooks that Rafe did for pogues, so to catch JJ on the other side of the island was newsworthy.

“I’m surprised you’d get caught up with Ruby,” you said. “I thought you hated kooks.”

JJ merely shrugged, grinning at you.

“Why deprave the female population of the other side of the island of an experience with me only because of something they can’t change?”

You snorted, biting back a laugh because you knew that if he thought you thought he was funny, it was over for you. JJ took the moment to let his eyes wander over you, and you stopped yourself from wrapping the linen shirt around your exposed body. This was your house and you weren’t gonna let someone else make you feel uncomfortable. Much less a guy.

“Had a pool party?”

“Something like that,” you replied, meeting JJ’s gaze straight on. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his boyish grin growing.

“Should I take it personally that I wasn’t invited?”

You gave him a look and JJ winked at you, before his face lit up, like he remembered something.

“Hey, your parents are organizing the spring fling, right?”

“Yes, why?” You asked back, suspicious.

“Well, I was wondering if you could do me a favor…” He started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I need some money to fix up my bike, and the country club always pays well. But the hostess kind of hates my guts, so she’d never hire me if I applied for the job. You think you could put in a good word for me?”

It was odd how JJ was able to switch from sarcastic to bashful the minute he needed something from you. You had heard from other girls that he was something of a womanizer, and the fact that he just came out of Ruby’s house just proved the point. So you tried not to put much worth on the grin he was giving you.

Most people would probably call it charming. You weren’t most people.

“… I’ll see what I can do.”

“Cool,” JJ said, honest to god pointing finger guns at you. This guy was unreal. He turned to leave the way he entered - through the patio door - but before he shut the door, he looked back to you, one foot already out of the house. “You’re not so bad for a kook, princess.”

JJ slipped through the small gap, closing the sliding door behind him. With a deep sigh, you locked the door, pulling down the blinds for good measure before you headed back to the kitchen. You put the rolling pin back in its place, shutting the dishwasher before switching it on, trying to act like that just didn’t happen.

Turning off all the lights downstairs, you headed towards the hallway, preparing to go to bed when two short raps came on the front door before it opened, as Rafe let himself in like he had been invited over. For some reason, it made you mad. You let out a sigh as you took him in and he raised a brow at you.

“You really need to lock the doors when you’re home alone precious,” Rafe commented and you snorted under your breath.

“Tell me about it.”

He shut the door behind him, locking it and you freed your hair from the claw clip, shaking your head out, feeling a migraine coming on.

“Did you really clean up the mess in the kitchen by yourself?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

“I would’ve helped you,” Rafe pointed out, annoyed.

“Well, you didn’t exactly tell me that you were staying over,” you retorted, just as annoyed. “Or that you were coming back.”

“Why are you being an asshole?”

Rafe’s irritation was evident in his voice and you let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry Rafe. I’m just tired, okay?” You pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling your shoulders slump a little. “If you came to fuck I don’t think I’m really in the mood today, so you can just leave. I’ll just take a shower and go to bed.”

You didn’t wait for an answer and turned to walk into your bedroom upstairs, heading straight to the bathroom. As you stripped down, throwing you bikini and the overshirt in the hamper, you thought you heard the front door shut. You tried not to let the angry tears in your eyes fall as you stepped into the shower, instead, you turned the water on, letting it drench your whole head. Fucker, you thought to yourself. You couldn’t believe that he’d just leave like that. Before all of this, he never would’ve just left.

Then again, you wouldn’t be in this situation either. Was this how it was going to be from now on?

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts, you didn’t even heat the door to the bathroom clink open. Only when the glass door of your shower squeaked, you were made aware of Rafe’s presence as he stepped inside. You really had to work on your spatial awareness. He stepped under the shower stream, the water immediately soaking him up, your eyebrows shot up in surprise and Rafe gave you a displeased look, pressing himself against your backside.

You kept quiet for a few seconds, the knot in your chest unfurling slightly, and you found yourself leaning against him.

“I thought you left.”

“You know you’re my best friend, right?”

Rafe’s voice was quiet as he murmured into your ear, his hand coming up behind you to cup around your breast. You bit back a sarcastic reply, because surely this wasn’t something a best friend would do.

“I wouldn’t just leave when I know you’re upset about something, you think you’re just a piece of ass to me?”

“I don’t know what we are these days,” you muttered, half hoping that Rafe didn’t hear you, but based on the way his hand clenched around your waist, he did hear. He turned you around in his arms, frowning down at you.

“Precious,” Rafe said, his voice tight. “You’re my best friend. Yes, the sex is fucking great, but it’s not worth losing you over. If you’re starting to question our friendship, we shouldn’t be doing this anymore.”

The shower was still raining down on you, and if the both of you weren’t buck ass naked as the day you were born, this would probably be incredibly romantic and you’d consider just spilling your guts to him. You exhaled deeply, blinking the water drops out of your lashes, trying to clear your head. What Rafe said made sense. But were you ready to give up more of him, just because you couldn’t keep your feelings in check?

“So? Are we putting a stop to this?”

Rafe took a step back. It was small, he barely moved, but to you it felt like a mile. You couldn’t go back to just being only his best friend, so before he could move away even further, you reached out to pull him back in, leaning on your tiptoes to kiss him. Rafe grunted into the kiss, seemingly hesitant for a second before he all but melted into you, his hand wrapping around your hair to tilt your head further up. You lost yourself in the kiss for a second, your hands intertwining on the nape of his neck before you pulled away when it got too heated.

“I’m too tired for sex,” you said, though you couldn’t deny the warmth unfurling between your legs.

Rafe eyed you for a second, before he nodded, turning you in his arms again, his chest against your back.

“Let me take care of you.“

With a flick of his wrist, he turned the water off, before he ran his hand down your waist, fingers slipping between your thighs. Your breath hitched, pressing further into him.

“Rafe.”

“Relax,” he murmured into the skin of your neck, tongue lapping up the water droplets that clung to your shoulder. “If you want me to stop, I will.”

His hand ventured further down, one finger dipping into the warmth of your folds and you let out a soft sigh, the stress leaving your body. You had half a mind to tell him to stop, you you found yourself saying nothing. Your hand wrapped around his bicep, searching for something to hold onto while the pad of his thumb stroked circles over your most sensitive little spot of nerves, having you moan out his name.

“That’s it,” Rafe said, leaning further down so he could slip his finger into your cunt, your gummy walls opening up to his digits, your knees growing weak. Both of you were still wet from the interrupted shower, and you should’ve been long cold by now, but all you felt was Rafe’s warm body pressed up against you and the heat coiling in your lower stomach. Rafe’s movements weren’t fast paced, but he applied pressure in just the right places, you felt your orgasm coming in no time.

“Shit,” you gasped, laying your head against his chest, catching Rafe’s eyes on you, seeing a hunger in his eyes you couldn’t quite place, but before you could question it, he kissed you, stealing your breath away. The kiss was the last thing that threw you over the edge and with a small, breathy moan you came apart on Rafe’s fingers, clinging onto him for dear life. As you caught your breath, Rafe placed his hands on your waist, steadying you.

“You good?”

You let out a grunt, squeezing his wrist. “You know the shower is one of the most dangerous places to have sex in?”

“… That doesn’t sound right.”

“Shut up,” you huffed, taking your hands off of Rafe, testing your footing, before you turned, getting on your knees.

“Hey, you don’t have to do this.”

“Didn’t I just tell you to shut up?” you asked back, wrapping your hand around his cock and Rafe let out a moan, carding his fingers through your hair. “Your dick has been pressed into my back for the past 15 minutes, let me suck you off.”

“If you insist.”

Rolling your eyes wordlessly, you pumped his cock for a but, before licking a strip along his shaft, making Rafe curse above you. You only smirked to yourself, before you wrapped your lips around his cock, knowing that was all he wanted right now.

“Fuck,” Rafe hissed, his grip on your hair tightening, thought you didn’t mind, your focus solely on sucking the life out of him. Your tongue was pressing against the small slit on his tip as you moved your mouth along the length of his cock, hand still wrapped around his lower base, where you couldn’t quite reach. You weren’t a beginner when it came to cock sucking, but you weren’t a professional either. It was safe to say that Rafe was pretty content with your skills though.

Hollowing out your cheeks, you took in as much of his cock as possible, continuing to suck on him, a mixture of saliva and Rafe’s precum smearing around the edges of your mouth, making a whole mess in your face, though you continued unperturbed.

“Shit, you really give the best head prec-”

Your nails dug into his thighs, and he cut off, replacing your nickname with your real name, and you eased off his thigh, sighing softly as the head of his cock brushed against the back of your throat, hoping it wouldn’t bruise again. It didn’t take long until Rafe slowly started thrusting into your mouth, his hips stuttering that you knew he was close.

“I’m about to come,” he warned you, his voice hoarse and the grip on your hair less hard. You only let out a hum of acknowledgement, not lessening your movement until Rafe spurted his cum down your throat, groaning out your name. You took your mouth off his cock, having swallowed his bitter cum and wiped your mouth, satiated.

Meanwhile, Rafe was leaning on the shower wall, gently extricating his hand out of your wet hair, heaving breaths.

“You’re a minx,” he told you, pulling you up for a quick kiss. You only grinned against his lips, swatting at his bare chest. Nipping on your lower lip, Rafe reached behind you to turn the shower back on, to finally finish what you had come here for in the first place. Together, you showered quickly and thoroughly and as Rafe washed the soapy suds off of you, hands all over your body, it felt intimate but not in a sexual way. You tried not to think about it too much.

When the both of you were done, hands all prune-y, you exited the shower, wrapping yourself in a robe and handing a towel to Rafe so he could dry off. You did a quick run through of your nighttime routine, while Rafe watched bemusedly as he brushed his teeth, but didn’t comment on it. When you were both done, crawling into bed, your hair still damp, you settled into your side of the bed (which was a wild statement in itself, as Rafe turned off the light in the bedroom, before getting in bed on the other side. You were content to fall asleep, safe and soundly tucked in, when Rafe reached under the blankets to pull you close against his chest, tucking his chin into the crook of your neck.

Your cheeks heated, and you side eyed Rafe as he got comfortable in bed, your shoulders tense.

“I meant what I said,” he then muttered, arms wrapped around your waist. “If you ever feel like our friendship is changing or this makes me feel like you can’t trust me, you gotta tell me precious. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

“I don’t want to lose you either,” you mumbled, laying a hand on his, trying to reassure him, even though your heart was racing a mile a minute. Rafe didn’t reply, and before long, his breath evened out, but you were still wide awake.

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author's note: okay real talk, how many of you guessed who the intruder was???

[writingoddess1125]

Funny One Shot- Buggy Edition

Your Seat Awaits

Buggy x Femreader

Support me on Ko-Fi

N$FW Themes

You stare at your husband a cross between wanting to cry at how stupid this was and maybe throwing him in the ocean as a divorce was the best course of action.

"Buggy... My love what the hell is this-"

You asked gesturing to him, he was laid on the bed his hair down and makeup off, completely shirtless and with a seated pillow ring around his blue hair like a headband.

"Welll I have the evening and you have the evening- Sooo We got the evening to-"

"Yes I'm aware but I'm more confused with the pillow ring- that's for sitti.. you want me to sit on your face don't you-" You deadpanned, the puzzle clicking in your head and see Buggy grin.

"Come on (Y/N)! It will be fun!" You rub your temples, curious to your past self why you said yes at times.

"Well I guess if I'm ge-"

"No no no! I don't want that hovering bull shit!" He shouted quickly, pointing at you with false anger.

"What if I suffocate you!?" You protest in shock, wondering why this man was so keen on a potential death sentence!

"It's a honorable death! Besides it won't be the first time I've almost drowned! This time I'm just bound to like it!" You threw a pillow at him at hearing this. Red in the face as he smiled brightly.

"This is absolutely ridiculous! I-I don't want to hurt you!"

"You won't! I won't die by puss! And if I do I will be praised as a hero among pirates!" He expressed, you this time hitting him in the face with a pillow which made him laugh loudly and hold your arm.

"Don't say that! I'd never want anyone to know you died that way" He shakes his head at this, take disappointed tsk leaving him as if you were naive.

"You better tell people cause they should know why I died with a smile on my face!" You places your free hand on your hip and raised a brow at his words, Rolling your eyes as well.

"This is so dumb- I can't actually do this seriously-"

"Hey! You agreed that if we did that floofy resort I could get a favor in return!" He brought up defensively. He was using his free pass?- a few months ago you begged to go to this romantic couples spa resort and he agreed. However you never did admit that you didn't enjoy it as much as you thought you would since it was a hot pink Valentines day themed corn fest- But Buggy did it all without complaints.

"Fine Fine! I did agree"

Buggy laid back down excitedly, Grinning from ear to ear, You blushed deeply and slid off your pants and underwear tossing them to the side. His hands detaching from him and going to your hips, carefully lifting you to be seated on his chest. You couldn't help but blush at this as you sat there.

"My face is clean of makeup, so your throne is ready my Love~"

You stared at Buggy as you sat on his chest, Sighing heavily at him as you grabbed the headboard of the bed and moved forward to his destined spot.

"I hope you suffocate-"

Buggy laughed loudly at this as he pumped his fist in joy and victory.

"As do I!! Hahahah-Mmph!~"

[sofiaruelle]

Aaa tumblr deleted my ask before I was done smh, anyway I was wondering who you think would do better at the ifuudoudou dance/shuffle, ass gang / she trio ?(stardew) i think they’d both give up in the middle from the quick-exhaustion, or how funny it’d probably be to see those sillies knocking each other over.

Aww man the ASS gang would DEMOLISH the SHE trio doing the ifuudoudou shuffle. Something something about being old and their old man knees (Abigail’s words). And in this essay I will explicate my take on the dance battle:

I can imagine the ASS gang would have to teach them how the dance moves first. The SHE trio practices for a bit. Harvey and Shane would definitely have a little with coordination (especially with the double bounce) but they get it down and are actually some what in sync as a group. Since Elliot was able to pick up on the dance moves quicker, he somewhat moves a little faster than the other two. Harvey tends to get flustered in the middle and would flail his arms trying to catch up to Elliot’s tempo thinking he messed up somewhere. Poor Shane would strugggglllleeeee with cardio. He blames the fact that he’s hungover to save face (he’s not, he’s been sober for a while, Elliot and Harvey pick up on this and just teases him)

Meanwhile the ASS gang is much more familiar with the song and dance. (my lil HC: Sebastian is a big fan of vocaloid; though he has yet to tell the rest of the gang what the song is about). For a time it had been a trend amongst them to dance the shuffle around town and filming themselves doing shennanigans. coughtiktokcough Despite being quite familiar with it, Sam struggles to move in the same direction as the others and bouncing on one place. He does quickly recover though!!!! Not his fault Abigail tends to forget to do the double bounce though hahahah. Sebastian has *perfected* the dance catch him practicing in between doing freelance programming.

I have this Idea™️ during the shuffle battle, Elliot realizes the song lyrics is quite scandalous and catches Sebastians eyes and they have a some kind of telepathic conversation which causes Sebastian to get flustered and embarassed at the implication of the lyrics. Elliot just laughs in amusement and nearly falters. Abigail in the middle of egging on the SHE trio notices this and calls out Elliot for the sabotage! Shane, tired of her teasing, tells his buddies to avenge him before collapsing on his ass, completely out of breath. Harvey to check on him but Shane waves him off. Also Sam nearly knocks everyone out trying to match up with the direction his hands should be facing, almost tripping on Shane. 😂 😂 😂

[indecenthoney]

Free-Use Agreement

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"Mmm... What time is it- Okay...That's not good... Random girl on my chest... Great... Fuck me... How much did I drink last night? Mm... Alright... Hey hun... You awake? C'mon, it's morning, we should clean you u- H-holy shit... You gotta be kidding me... Hey hey hey... Don't you go freaking out on me... What do you mean? I'm just as confused as you are... Well, excuse me... This is my bed... My room... For all we know... Youuuu could have followed me in here and had your way with me... Don't play that card... Men can get touched too... Wow... Really? Who would sleep with me? You! Apparently..."

To catch you all up on this sudden predicament, my roommate and I made plans to spend a night out in the city. A little drinking to ease the stress of the week. One thing led to another and after a couple of brain-numbing shots, everything went hazy. From the looks of it, neither of us had any memories of that night. Days would pass without a word. I mean to wake up with your roommate balls deep inside of you? I don't blame her for reacting the way she did. Surprisingly, we went about our day as usual. There really was nothing to write home about. However, the tension during dinner time was unbearable. I didn't necessarily hate her or anything. It was more of our dynamic. We'd bicker and tease each other back and forth. Then we'd have our occasional pranks. But now, I couldn't even look at her in the eye. The short moments of eye contact would bring me back to her squeezing down on me. Even the sight of her lips would send me into shock hearing her squirm as I pulled out. Fuck. What if it was me? What if I did force myself on her? The guilt was eating at me. And I couldn't even fathom a proper way of apologizing to her. The fucked up thing is the amount of times I've masturbated to that mome-

"H-hm? Sorry I was kind of blanking out... What were you saying? No no... What? I should be the one apologizing... This whole thing could have been avoided if I didn't drink so much... I mean... What if I did do something? You're right... I'm overreacting... Sorry... I just didn't wanna make it all... weird... you know... Both of our faults, huh? Alright alright, I can work with that... Bright side? And what's that? The fact we fucked each other... True... I guess it was better than that fuck boy hitting you up all night... Ain't that right, baby girl? Hahahah! Sooooo you're not mad at me? Good cause I couldn't fucking eat... Hey... I was embarrassed too... But since we're good... We can move past this... I can finally stomach this foo- Sorry what?"

There it was again. That uneasy feeling. My jaw had dropped at the presentation of her proposal. Completely caught off guard from her shy disposition. After knowing her for years, it felt like I barely knew her. I mean she was the type of girl that would blush at the mention of a crush. So to utter such words was completely out of character. I'm sure she was just pulling my leg. Trying to get a reaction out of me. She insisted that there would be days when our "lust" would get the best of us. And that this little arrangement didn't have to end. She then offered me full reign on using her as long as we were in the apartment. To further justify her proposal, she claimed that it was better than fucking some random in a bar. She said all this while never once looking at me. I was not completely opposed to the idea. Just bewildered. She was hot. Believe me. If it were any other guy they would literally jump at the opportunity. But surely, she was just pulling my leg.

"Hahaha... You're joking... This is a test, right? So you can call me a fucking perv... Hahah very funny... You almost got me... Hey... What're you-"

On her knees, she carefully navigated around my sweatpants. Pulling out my throbbing member into the scene. There soft kisses met at every inch of me. Her supple tongue rubbing along the back of my head exacerbated my already breathy moans. The warmth of her mouth enveloped the entirety of me causing my eyes to roll back. Even after steeling myself, her teasing had already stopped, waiting patiently around my cock. Literally forcing my hand, urging me to act if I wanted even a crumb of pleasure. A battle of morality that I was sure to lose. Gently my hands cupped around her face, framing her perfectly before bobbing her relentlessly downward. Spit and tears would soon follow. The gentle touch that I once had quickly crumbled and devolved into such an animalistic instinct to fuck and release. My hand now decorated around a fistful of her hair. A pattern of forcing her down even deeper into me before fucking her mouth with shallow strokes. In my euphoric haze, I had no intention of savoring her lips. And in moments, I was quickly brought to the edge. She kicked and squirmed. Painfully gripping down onto my thighs. Nails digging into me as the cum hit the back of her throat. My body jerked and convulsed; leaving me to lean back into my chair. Exhausted. Without a word, she quickly got up and made her way to her room. I was confused. Was it all just a little prank that gone wrong? A little tease that went too far. That uneasy feeling made its way back into me. Feeling that all the progress had reset once more.

"H-hey... Where are you- Fuck..."

The following day, I would hear little shuffles coming from the living room. In a rush, I got myself out of bed to catch her. But she was already halfway out the door before I could even greet her. Unable to speak of yesterday's happenings. I would then spend the rest of the day cleaning off the apartment. Anything to keep my mind off of our current situation. There was no point in dwelling on something I couldn't fix at the moment. Before I knew it, time would pass. After taking my place on the couch, it was just about time for dinner. What to eat? Dinner. Dinner. Dinner? My mind would soon flood once again with yesterday's events. The rush of blood made it difficult to focus. In the heat of the moment, I thought it'd be wise to deal with it before she arrived home. Stroking myself without regard to being caught. Reminiscing the feeling of the back of her throat. I was lost in it. So much so that I didn't quite hear the unlocking of the front door. The hue of red painted across her face due to my exhibition. The relentless rhythm of slick precum echoed throughout the room. She stood there silently watching my frustration and discomfort; before finally gathering the courage to call out to me.

"Fuck... Mmph... Huh? O-oh shit! H-Heyyy youuuu... Uhm... And how... long have you been standing there? No way... Really...? Sorry about that... I'm just a little... uhm... pent up... is all... I didn't think you'd be home so soon... I see... Sorry what? Does it hurt? Nooo, just a little uncomfortable... but never mind that... Since you're here... I really think we should talk about yesterda-"

Without warning, it was then she offered up her services once more. Her shaky fingers slowly unbuttoning her worktop. To the drop of her pencil skirt that hugged her waist so perfectly. Revealing her lacy black bra and stockings before placing herself atop the seat across me. Her eyes peering behind her disheveled hair; fixated on a corner of the room to avoid my gaze. The slow march of her fingers, tracing along the center line of her panties. Teasingly putting on a show. Only for her actions to backfire. Maybe to her realization, it was more than showing off her body. She was being watched so intensely by someone she knew. It was embarrassing. Sure. But even so, her slender fingers continued to press along her cunt with more fervor. Spreading herself ever so often as if she was showing me the spot that needed attention the most. Such a lecherous display. Without thought, I found myself standing in front of her. With how little she seemed, it was like a little animal backed against a corner. Trembling. My hand pushing her back against the couch. I leaned in close pressing my entire weight. My cock now throbbing eagerly against her cunt. And the subtle buck of her hips that answered back in response. It was then all reason would be completely thrown out the window.

"Fuck... There you go... teasing me again... What's wrong? You're shaking... Look... See? You did this... so it's only natural... that you fix it, right?"

The tear of stockings. Panties gently pushed to the side. Entering ever so slowly into her depths. Her eyes begin to flicker and roll. An insatiable throb making it all the worse. Never truly easing up despite the time that has passed. And in turn, my patience wearing thin. Slow, yet gentle movements take place causing her to pull tightly on my shirt. Pulling me closer into her embrace; digging her canines right into my shoulder. The sudden sensation causing me to jerk deeper into her. Stifled moans leaking through pierced flesh. Her bite reduced to a slobbering nibble. Despite her pleads, her reactions only brought out the worst in me. Thrusting into her as if my life depended on it. There her legs were propped onto my shoulders. Forcing myself deeper into her. Slamming down. My hands coiled around her pretty little neck. Watching her eyes shoot up as the stimulation reaches its peak. My body failing to support me leading me to slump over her with ragged breaths. A pale liquid now dripping down her holes. Both too cum-brained and tired to actually function. I laid by her side silently, stroking her hair, before inevitably falling asleep. Later, I found myself still on the couch and her nowhere to be seen.

"Mmm... Fuckkkk me... I really have to stop thinking with my dick..."

Having not eaten anything the night before, I would find myself wondering off to the kitchen. The aroma of eggs and bacon soon filled the room. A scent that would make any person's mouth water. There my roommate stood, humming quietly to herself, who was just about done cooking. She sported the same lacey-black panties; paired with an apron whilst still being topless. My caveman brain doing its best to process the sight in front of me. Only for my other head to do all the thinking. I was no better than animal. An alluring doll figure that tempted me so. Breakfast became the last thing on my mind. Eager to ease my dilemma, I positioned myself between her supple thighs. She insisted on eating first, but soon her moans would overtake her logic. Grinding away on her thighs, slightly pressed against her cunt.

"Morning... Sorry I know I know... Breakfast sounds good... and we should totally eat... But after I'm done I promise... Just keep those thighs pressed... Alright?"

And so she pressed. Her thick thighs surround my member. Her cunt slicked with juices dripping down her thigh making it all the easier to fuck her with. My mind gradually slipping from me. Her arm twisted behind her, serving as my handle to further my aggressive motion. Within a matter of minutes, my composure had crumbled. Hunched over her; moaning against the back of her neck. The climax drawing near as the tip jabbed roughly against her cunt. Causing me to release an unholy amount. Once again tainting her poor panties. After cleaning ourselves up, we went on to eat the breakfast she had prepared. Making small talk proved to be difficult as her mind was elsewhere.

"Uhm... Thanks for making breakfast today... I- uhhh really like the way you made the eggs... I can't handle overcooked eggs... Haha... Soooo... Do you have any plans today? No... O-oh okay..."

It would seem that our little situation would only get more and more awkward as time progressed. Talks would be less frequent. Yet our time together never quite dwindled. I happen to catch her at the most unfortunate of times. Sweat dripping down her breasts on a sultry day. Eating and licking a popsicle on some random afternoon. Or even bent over searching for something underneath her bed. All events leading me to fuck her senseless. It had gotten to the point where I would often just pull her to the side, if need be, to satiate my own selfish desires. Even relaxing on the couch would be a trigger to pull her up on my lap before making out with her. Our tongues welcoming one another. Breathy moans, subtle whimpers filling my mouth. Her arms wrapped around my head to position herself into a deeper kiss. My cock throbbing impatiently against the opening. Pushing her down completely to take the full length. A shrill moan escapes her mouth. Having her rock her hips despite her sensitivity. Brought to tears by the stimulation. The buck of her hips as I toy relentlessly with her clit. Her body shuddered. Yet another load fucked into her. My hips pushing back up to plug it all in. She laid against me worn out and weak. Tears running down as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"Dude? You're crying? W-what's wrong? Am I being too rough? Fuck... I'm sorry... I-It's okay... Let it out... I'm here... Just relax and breathe... I gotchu... Not going anywhere..."

Sweet nothings cooed into her ear. Finger tips moving through silky hair. Tracing along her back. Before running up once again, diving deep underneath her locks to scritch and scrotch the roots. Having her melt under my gentle hand. Effortlessly her consciousness begins to dwindle. With her eyes closed, I kissed her forehead, wishing her sweet dreams. Holding her closely throughout the night just as I promised. Not leaving her side. The feeling of dread and guilt seeping into me. Going a bit too far with my desires. Having it take a toll on her. I had to change.

"Ohh heyyy morning sleepy head! C'mon what you waiting for? I made pancakes! Get them while they're still hot... So blueberry syrup or strawberry... We also have Nutella... Did you sleep good? Yeah? Oop- Sorry just let me... Yeah, you have a little schmuck on your face... Prolly cause you were drooling in your sleep... Yeah, it's a lot... I know how much you love them... I don't know... I just wanted make you a little something to thank you... After last night it must've been a lot for you... So I promise I'll stop... I never wanted to make you cry... Ah no... Shush... No need to explain... I made my decision and I take full responsibility... You just sit there and eat your pancakes... Alright? Me? I'm gonna go for a run real quick... I'll see you later!"

As much as I enjoyed living that fantasy, it wasn't worth hurting her. We went about our days as usual any time we could. When she would start to get nervous, I would often take some time away. Her eyes would begin to drift. Or her thighs would begin to clench. Little tells. The poor thing was probably still traumatized. I could only imagine. She probably felt unsafe; thinking I would pounce at her at any moment. The lecherous eyes that once analyzed every inch of her body. Now being completely docile. It is a bit sketchy. But no more. I made a promise to myself. Above all, she was my friend. I planned to restore our friendship as much as I could. And to repent, I refrained from any of my usual pervy activities. A bit troublesome at first. But keeping myself busy usually did the trick. I mean you can't cum if your dead tired at the end of the day!

"Oh? You're home! Was just about to watch a movie... Care to join me? I have popcorn... Hahaha did the popcorn seal the deal? Yeah? Right right... You know... Been a while since we hung out... Ready?"

It went about normally as you'd expect. We made our little jokes, reminisced of old memories, and even poked fun at each other. It was like the past few weeks were a blur. I was happy.

"Probably 7/10... In all honesty I was bit focused on you yapping than the movie... So my rating can be a bit skewed... Not my fault that you're more interesting... You wanna watch another? Still a bit early for us to go to bed... Yeah? Sweet... Let me pick a random one... Hm? Yeah its a bit chilly... I have blanket on me if you wanna use it... No it's fine... Really... Cuddle? Uhm... If you want to... Yeah yeah... I'm comfortable... Hahaha... Here... Best seat in the house..."

Taking place in between my lap, the scent of shampoo filled my head. My huge frame towering over her delicate figure. There she sat awaiting a response, but communication failing me. The movie played yet my mind fixated on tearing this little lamb to shreds. I could push her into couch while I filled her ass to the brim. Have her jerk me off with her leaky cunt. Or even watch her cry and beg as she worships my cock with her throat. And how easily said tasks could be done. Her scolding bringing me back to my senses. Ass pressed against me causing me to groan in pain.

"H-hahahah I-I'm alright... I just.... I'm not... I'm not feeling too well... No no I-It's fine really... I should head on to bed... Get some sleep and I'll be good as new... Thanks for the movie..."

Rushing over to my room, I quickly occupied my desk trying to find something to do. If I could just touch myself I would actually have some solution to this unending throb. Every game was on maintenance. Each friend too busy. And the internet far too slow to stream anything decent. The littlest of things agitated me and I was at my wit's end. A knock at the door resounded into my room. I wanted to chuck my chair at the door.

"Now's not the best time! Can we talk about it tomorrow? And you're in my room... Great... What do you wan-"

There she stood in an oversized band tee; inching towards me. My nails digging into my seat inhubiting all the carnal urge to pin her against the wall. The pacing of my breath irregular and my heart pounding. To my realization, not a single word was said to me after she entered my room. Confused. I took a moment to peer at her face, but not a single thought existed behind those eyes. That overly sized shirt slowly creeping up above her waist. Revealing herself bare and needy.

"U-uhm... D-dude... I think you're forgetting to wear something... H-hey hey hey... What're you-"

This time I was the one cornered; unable to get up from my seat for it would only escalate the situation. Both of her hands planted on my thigh, thoroughly grinding her bare cunt along it. A moist trail tracked along my sweats. Never did she break her teary gaze, pleasuring herself to the rough texture. With how eager she started off, it was suprising to see her slow down. Her movements begin to jitter and shake. A slow lag became apparent. She sat there fidgeting with slow motions. Resisting her own climax.

"And who told you stop? C'mon... If you don't keep rocking those hips... I'll have to do it for you... Understood? Now move... That's a good girl.... Hey hey hey... My eyes are up here... It's rude to look at something else when I'm talking to you... Mhm mhm... You're doing such a good job... Fucking yourself for me... Oh? Is someone close? No? Then why are we slowing down? Keep... moving... Excuse me? "Please" isn't going help you here... You either cum or you don't... You have complete control over it... So tell me... If you wanted to cum so badly... Why'd you stop? C'mon spit it out... Walking in here... Grinding your filthy little cunt against me... Oh? I get it now... You want my permission... That's it, isn't it? All this mess for my approval... God you're such fucking perv... You know what? If you want it so bad... Why don't you take it..?"

It wasn't exactly an easy task to outright pull your roommate's dick out and fuck yourself on it. On the other hand, I was enjoying her reactions. A little hesitant at first, but she managed to pull my cock out. Her hand gently stroking along my member. Something she's grown familiar with these past few weeks. Her ass pressed against the tip of my cock. Guiding it along her slit to position it just right for the opening. Even with all that eager grinding, we found it difficult slide in completely. Hopping off my lap, she quickly got to her knees. Her soft tongue placed on the back of the tip. Her breath hit me causing me to twitch against her mouth. Drool slowly soaking the entire length. Her lips close giving it one final kiss before trying once more.

"Not so fast... Why don't you turn around... Welllll I wanna watch you enjoy yourself, of course... if you're going to be using me then I should at least be able to watch... I mean I'm not some toy you can just hop on for a bit... Unless that's the way you look at me... Right right... No no... I believe you..."

Timidly she crawled onto my lap, hovering over me, still completely anxious of what's to come. Deep breaths fill her chest before easing herself into my lap. Reaching into her depths, her head knocked back from the pleasure. Taking but a moment to claim herself again. Having been fucked all this time, she wasn't quite used to taking charge. She was scared. Yet never once did that stop her. Watching her sloppily shake her hips on my lap. Putting on her best performance. That insatiable throb coming back once again. Making us both moan. My hands grabbed her anxious hips giving way to a more gentle motion. Teaching her but the proper way. Not needing to rush nor having to please me but herself. Despite my provocation, this actually was for her. I found that it would be easier to use me if she saw how much I was enjoying it too. Watching her cunt continuously consume me. And even if I wanted to stay cool, I just couldn't.

"A-ahahaha... Mmm... Mmmpphh... Uhm... C-can you s-slow down a bit..? F-fuck... I r-really... Ughhh.... Mmm.... I-I really can't.... D-dude.... I m-might cum soon... S-slow down will you... Aaa..."

I was close. God, was I fucking close. A sick and twisted smile plastered over my face. Feeling fear. That once small and harmless animal now cornering me. It's ironic. So much so you can't help but just watch. This little thing was riding me like it was her job. Seeing as how I've become a complete mess under her guidance. Her movements became more erratic. Fucking herself on my cock. Getting off on more than just the pleasure, but by my reactions. Milking more and more of those tasteful sounds. Her cunt bouncing on the tip. The final straw. A violent string of orgasms causing me to moan into her mouth. Weeks of not being able to cum, now taking a toll on me. I sat back in defeat. Before I could even say another word, her lips were already locked around mine. Soft kisses meet at my lips. Not another single word was said between us that night. There was no uneasy feeling. Or guilt. I was happy. And she looked pretty damn happy too.

"Morning sleepy... Why so red? You only fucked my brains out and made out with me for half the night... Shut up? Or what? Gonna ride me again? Hahahahah... Oh nooo I'm so scared... Are you sure you don't remember who fucked who that night? I'm starting to think it was you... Ow ow ow okay okay... Hahahaha... So ready for round two? Ow ow okay... Jeez... Breakfast? Cool cool... I didn't hear no though so.... H-hey hey relax-"

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No Lube, No Protection

Honey

[queen-of-reptiles]

𝚂𝙰𝙵𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚂

description: In which Olga Carmona's girlfriend bleeds red and white for Athletico, while Olga bleeds white and blue for Real. Both Madrid based, two lovers, two positions, two talents, two teams and one game.

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olga carmona x female reader

disclaimer: I am in no way saying Olga is gay or bi with this, remember it is all just fiction!

warnings: bad google translations as usual! a few rough words, angst and fluff!

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y/n just posted on their story

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olgacarmona7 just posted on her story

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y/n just posted

liked by luciaamoraal, lola_gallardo1 and 291, 299 others

tagged olgacarmona7

y/n tryna seduce the competition early??

view 9382 comments

username1: HAHAHAH 😭

username2: They are so cute ! THE RINGS 😭💙💙

username3: I am so glad they have each other !!!!

username4: I think good for them that they are able to separate pitch rivalries from home life.

^

username5: In a recent interview Olga was asked about it, and said that y/n was for the rest of her life, football wasn't and she wasn't going to risk the best thing that has ever happened to her because of her job!

^

username4: OMG that is so cute! 🥺

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username6: relationship like this now!! 💳💳

olgacarmona7: Maybeeeee... is it working? ☺️

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y/n: yes 🫶

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lola_gallardo1: um??? 🤨🤨

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y/n got no shame she's hot as shit 👍👍

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olgacarmona7: te amo baby <3

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y/n: te amo!

see more comments...

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y/n just posted on their story

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In all honesty the game wasn't going too bad, they had defended well, y/n seemed to be having the game of her life having made four fantastic saves and the rest easy ones.

They were ten minutes from half time, and still at 0-0 if they could make it to half time with a draw, they could regroup and try again to sneak the win after half time.

Then Sonia made the tackle, Olga going down in the box and the referee's whistle echoed as she pointed at the spot. Sonia almost cried as the red card was shown at her.

y/n began talking to the ref, calmly, not denying the penalty but trying to revoke the red card, but it didn't work, she was told to set herself in goal.

y/n shut her eyes for a moment, breathing in and out as everyone got into place. Opening them, y/n was faced with her love, Olga's face was masked, cold as she prepared.

The whistle blew, one, two, three steps, shot. y/n darted to the side, her body pushing as she jumped, the powerful shot blocked by her hand which only just pushed it past the post on away for a corner.

The stadium erupted as the Real players gaped in shock, a save like that, well, a few of them even clapped in shock. y/n was piled on by her team, the group dragging her to her feet as they shouted in shock.

y/n let out a breath, a groan of relief as they prepared for the corner. The kick was cleared easily and soon enough they were walking into the tunnel, still at 0-0.

Olga's hand brushed her lover's, the pinkie's linking momentarily as they walked away from each other and back to their locker rooms.

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twitter/X

username1: HOLY SHIT 😱😱😱

username2: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SAVE? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? 😰😰😰

username3: y/n once again showing why she is Spain's no.1 goal keeper 🫠🫠

username4: I don't get that save??? How did she move so quick? How did she arch??

username5: LMAO the way some Real players clapped y/n's save was so funny, everyone was so impressed! 😂

username6: did anyone see Olga move to y/n as the halftime whistle blew?? CUTEEE 🥺

see more comments...

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The game was five minutes from time, and somehow the ten left on the pitch had been able to scrap a 1-1 draw currently, however, Olga's free kick on the edge of the box was yet to be taken.

The whistle blew and y/n watched the ball, her feet pushing as she jumped and pushed it over the goal, conceding a corner but once again making a fantastic save.

y/n was clapped on the back by her team as the corner was set and taken. y/n jumped gripping the ball as she fell to the ground, protecting it.

The crowd cheered again and y/n stood up, bouncing the ball twice before throwing it out, the whistle blowing seconds after. y/n fell to her knees in relief, the second half had been a lot of work for her.

With being a woman down, the Real team had not stopped or slowed, bringing wave after wave of attack which y/n was only just able to stop with her defenders.

"¡Bebé!" A voice called, Olga helping her girlfriend to her feet as she wrapped her arms around her.

y/n smiled into her girlfriend's hair, the smaller woman muttering praises as she pulled away and pouted her lips, wanting a kiss. y/n chuckled and ducked her her head, pecking Olga a few times.

The crowd cheered for their favourite couple who smiled as they pulled away, y/n wrapping an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and Olga around her waist as they walked back to their teams.

"Esas salvadas fueron impresionantes, mi amor, hoy fuiste imparable." Olga tells her lover.

those saves were stunning my love, you were unstoppable today.

"Y aún así pudiste anotarme, siempre mi debilidad." y/n hummed, kissing her girlfriend's head.

and yet you were still able to score against me, always my weakness.

Olga smiled and pecked her girlfriend's lips once more, sighing happily as they moved to their separate teams, y/n being clapped on the back and handed the match ball.

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olgacarmona7 just posted

liked by alexiaputellas, onabatlle and 392, 277 others

tagged y/n

olgacarmona7 Ella es una guardiana segura 🩷

She's a keeper for sure

view 11, 811 comments

username1: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😭😭

username2: They were so cute after the game! It is so clear how much they love each other!! 🥺🥺

username3: Man she was insane today, some of those saves!!!!

alexiaputellas: ¡El número uno de España! 😊😊

spain's number one

^

y/n: capi! 😚

onabatlle: ¿No entiendo cómo se movía así? 🤨🤨

I don't get how she moved like that???

^

olgacarmona7: Creo que es una bruja honestamente. 😉

i think she's a witch, honestly.

^

username4: ahahahah

username5: She was fantastic omg! 😩

^

username6: SHE was soooo gooood and I am glad she is getting the recognition she deserves!!

^

username7: SAMEEEE 🥺🥺

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y/n just posted on their close friends story

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END

still not overly happy with this one i won’t lie but i CANNOT continue re-writing this lmaoooo

-

Queenie xo

[askinkiskarma]

Will it be possible to ask the reader teaching Jake's kids all the curse word alphabet . Then them using this stuff around jake. What would his reaction be?

anonnie i don't usually take requests but i actually enjoyed this hahahah

i had no idea a curse word alphabet was a thing, had to google it :))

hope you enjoy x

wc: 400

"Very good, Tuk. Now that we're done with A, what did I say B was?"

Tuk thought about it long and hard, and her eyes lit up in excitement as the word pushed past her tongue flawlessly, as if she was born to say it.

"BITCH!"

You and Lo'ak clapped loudly, cheering for your honorary sister and laughing at how excited she was about getting it right. There was something so incredibly puerile, but so, so hilarious about a child innocently cursing like a sailor. It was your responsability as the English speaker and the human to teach Tuk some Earth customs. After all, she was half human. You really had no choice but to do this, right?

Neteyam and Kiri were sitting in the corner of the tent, speaking lowly to each other and rolling their eyes at your immaturity. You knew deep down they found it funny. How could they not? But they were the responsible ones, and while maintaining this charade must be exhausting, you couldn't blame them for not partaking. You and Lo'ak would be in so much trouble when Jake gets whiff of this, but all punishment was worth it for this moment of pure bliss.

"Ok, Tuk-tuk. Now C."

"Remember C?"

"What the hell is going on here?" Jake bursts in through the flap of the tent, holding a gun in his arms and a dour, unamused expression on his face, his lips curled in an annoyed grimace.

"Are you two soiling my baby girl's mind again, teaching her things she shouldn't know for a really long time... or ever, preferably?"

You giggled at Lo'ak's ears that were pushed so far back, you could balance a book on either of them, no issue. While Lo'ak might be scared of his father and his military ways, you found Jake's outbursts funny and endearing. The fact that he couldn't stay mad at your Avatar face longer than a couple minutes at a time probably helped.

"I already took an ass-kicking from my wife from your little stunt about where babies come from. This time, any ass kicking I receive will be returned two fold, am I clear, soldiers?"

Your gaze fell to the floor, trying your best to look dignified and apologetic, but the enthusiastic swish of your tail did little to help you in your endeavour.

"Daddy, daddy, I remember C! Daddy, you are a cun-"

"NO, TUK!"

[catcze]

HI CATTE! big fan of ur works!! glad to see another wrio filo fan !!, can I request wrio trying to learn filo for Filipino!reader !! I think it's super cute and I feel like he would probably become fluent in secret to surprise you !!!!!

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

「 FEAT : 」  Wriothesley x GN! Filipino! reader

「 ### : 」  Fluff, some swearing, but overall very good vibes ♡ Reader can speak Tagalog! I'll be real this is super cheesy esp the tagalog dialogue but SUE ME I love cheesy shit and this is self indulgent. Written pre-4.1 release.Translation for Tagalog dialogue found at the end!

AAAA HI BABY ♡ I cannot express how happy this made me ?!?!? Like, I'm bumping it up on the prio because it made me sooo kilig when i read it HAHAHAH I hope you like it lots !! (also if any filos have corrections/improvement on the tagalog dialogue pls lmk because I am notttt the best at writing in tagalog dialogue lmao) also ! I changed it and made him, like, not super \ fluent yet at Tagalog, hence why imo some of his dialogue sounds a bit;;; like, practiced? textbook? if that makes sense? HAHAH

Wriothesley doesn't have some big, grand reason for doing any of this. It's not your birthday or your anniversary or anything like that. He's not meeting your parents and he sure isn't planning on proposing just yet.

In all honesty, it all started from a quick kiss you pressed to his cheek and a string of words in a foreign language whispered into his ear.

"What did you say?" he asks when you pull away, a small smile on your face.

"I said mahal kita," you tell him, a hand resting on his arm. Your eyes soften almost imperceptibly when you say the phrase again. You sound so damn fond when you say it, it makes his heart want to skip a beat. "It's one of the most common ways to say 'I love you' in Tagalog."

"Can you say it again?" He asks, and you easily comply.

Mahal kita. Mahal kita. Mahal kita. I love you. He turns the words over and over in his head, then tries to replicate how you pronounce it with his own tongue, but the words come out a bit funny thanks to his fontainese accent. He's not used to the intonation of the language and it shows, if your amused little laugh was anything to go by.

"Like this," you tell him after watching him struggle for a bit and taking mercy on his poor tongue. "Repeat after me." Then you open your mouth wide, so he can see how you do it.

"Ma."

"Ma?"

"-hull."

"-hull."

"Kih."

"Kih?"

"Mhm. Tah."

"Tah."

"Put all that together, and you get mahal kita."

He tries it again, but it still comes out a bit funky. Not at all like how you say it, sounding buttery smooth and practically dripping with charisma. Despite this, you still smile at him like he's given you the world in your palms, or like you're about to cry from happiness. You press your lips against his, stealing the air right from his lungs and making his eyes flutter shut. He can never get tired of kissing you, he thinks, and if messing up a little bit gets him this much affection, he can only imagine what you'd be like if he improved.

"Mahal din kita," you mumble against his lips, breaking away but not straying far.

After that, unbeknownst to you, Wriothesley picked up what is essentially (but not actually the title) a Tagalog for dummies book and hunted down a guard in the fortress who can speak the language enough for him to consult whenever merely reading the words on a page was not enough.

You've also begun to speak Tagalog more and more around him since finding out his interest in the language. You've even managed to correct his pronunciation a little bit, despite how new much of it was new to him.

("You have to roll your r's a bit more, Wrio. Like... like you're purring, i guess?" That, in particular, he heard quite often. Who knew that his mother tongue said their r's differently from yours? Certainly not him.)

He eats up every bit of advice you give him in passing when he tries to replicate whatever word or phrase you just said, quietly taking note in his head and repeating the phrases back to himself even when you're not around. He goes to that one guard he had dubbed as his 'Tagalog tutor' and peppers them with questions so often that he figures it warrants him to hand over a particularly generous bonus later on for letting him as much of a bother as he is.

And finally, after a good long while of giving it his best effort, his tutor deems him able to hold a conversation in Tagalog well enough, and promptly pushes him out the door, telling him to 'go get 'em, boss.' before hastily locking the door behind him.

When Wriothesley wanders back to your living quarters, reassuring himself that he's been practicing for this, for you, and that even if he gets it a little bit wrong, you're probably going to be happy either way. Probably.

"Sweetheart?" He calls, coming inside. He follows your faint 'over here' to find you on your bed in your casuals, relaxing for the day.

When you catch sight of him, you smile, beckoning him close, just to press a kiss to his lips when he leans over. "Hey," you say, grinning up at him.

"Kumusta ka? Namiss kita, mahal. " He says, the words coming out a soft murmur against your lips. You pause for a good while, jaw dropping and brows furrowing in confusion, and Wriothesley fears that he could have messed up somehow. Then a wide smile breaks across your face as you glow with absolute delight.

"Hoy, talaga?! Nagtatagalog ka?" You sit up to be eye-to-eye with him, and you see nothing short of pride in his eyes. One of your hands flies up to cover your mouth as you gasp. "Woah, ang galing mo!"

And oh, it's one of the cutest things you've ever seen from him— Wriothesley smiles, just s little bit, and the slightest hints of a blush dust his face. It's adorable to see how he reacts to your praise.

Wriothesley's eyes dart away from yours, one of the few tells of embarrassment you've ever seen from him. "Pasensya na, di pa ako magaling magtagalog. Nag aaral pa lang ako."

"Kahit na!" You're clearly enthused, happy and grinning and buzzing with energy. "Namiss din kita! Okay naman ako. Ikaw? Kumain ka na ba?" You're wide awake and looking up at him like he hung the stars in the sky for you. Wriothesley is smiling now too. All those hours and late nights trying his best to get the words right, and this was the very reason why.

"Mhm, kanina pa, bago pumunta ko dito." One of his hands reaches up to your face. The callouses and scars of his hand drags a giggle from you as he tries to rub the sleep from your eyes. "Sana nakatulog ka ng maayos."

And compared to when you first told him you love him in your language, his Tagalog has improved by leaps and bounds. Still affected by his accent, yes, but his hard work showed through. It is that and the tenderness in his voice that makes you break this little song and dance between the two of you. Your hand reaches up to hold the one cupping your cheek, letting you lean further into his palm.

"Were you intending to surprise me? Because you certainly did. In a good way, I mean."

Wriothesley chuckles. "I'm glad. Been trying to learn it since that first time, and I think I'm making some progress. Though anything more than a simple conversation is still a bit much for me."

"Kahit na," you repeat yourself, "You're amazing! You got so good! Oh, we are going to have so much fun having secret conversations that no one else can understand."

He playfully quirks an eyebrow at that. "While that's definitely going to be some fun, I really wanted to learn how to, ah, tell you that I love you back."

"Oh." Again, you pause. "Well. Here's your chance, I guess." And you smile at him again, the one that has his heart skipping a beat. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him into your space, you press your forehead against his and close your eyes. He can feel your breath tickle against his lips, and he almost sighs in response.

"Mahal kita, Wriothesley."

"Mahal din kita, my love."

Translation:

"Kumusta ka? Namiss kita, mahal. " — "How are you? I missed you, love."

"Hoy, talaga?! Nagtatagalog ka? — "Hey, really?! You're actually speaking Tagalog?"

"Pasensya na, di pa ako magaling magtagalog. Nag aaral pa lang ako." — (spoken sorta formally) "Sorry, I'm not very good at speaking Tagalog yet. I'm still learning."

"Kahit na!" "Namiss din kita! Okay naman ako. Ikaw? Kumain ka na ba?" — "Even so!" "I missed you too! I'm fine. What about you? Have you eaten yet?"

"Mhm, kanina pa, bago pumunta ko dito." "Sana nakatulog ka ng maayos." — "Mhm, I did earlier, just before I came here." "Hopefully you had a good nap."

"Mahal kita, Wriothesley." — "I love you, Wriothesley."

"Mahal din kita, my love." — "I love you too, my love."

[inkedberries]

Hello! Just wanted to say that I’ve been following you since you Yuri on Ice days and it’s been SO cool to see what you’ve been up to the past few years!! That said you’ve made me CRAZY over Kudou/Yoichi!!!!! Fucking insane!!!! I’ve stumbled across them in your art, got curious about them, read literally every fic they have in ao3, refreshed the tumblr app and your account for new stuff, and spun in circles!!!! I literally know NOTHING about bnha, I had to read the wiki!!!! Overall the situation is funny to me because tragic ship with the chance of meeting again in the afterlife is such catnip to me but I know nothing at all…..

I really loved your comic where Kudou gets killed by the big man (AFO?) and it centers around their relationship ship regarding the word “hero”. I read your analysis too, it was really interesting! Anyways!!!! I’m super excited to see and support what you make during Kudou/Yoichi week!!!! Love your work and have for a long time! Hope you have a wonderful day :)

hello!!!! since yoi days????!?!?!? aaaaaaaaah omg!!!!! hi!!!!! thank you so much for sticking around!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤

this was such a lovely lovely message to read, thank you so much for taking the time to send this over, it really made my day :'D❤ AND I AM SO HAPPY I GOT YOU ON BOARD KUDOICHI HELLO WHAT A WONDERFUL PAIRING IT IS!!!! That comic in particular has been in the brain for a long while now bc i rlly want to encapsulate how Kudo and Yoichi's relationship cannot be talked about fully without the big man AFO, as a starting point!

the moment Kudo led Yoichi out of that vault, a timer over Yoichi's head started and it is so delectable hahahah! I also just really love all the moments we can think up that makes the two months before yoichi's death that makes it all the more tragic. I really hope they'll get more notice once season 8 hits and AFO and Yoichi's backstory is shown!!

But in the meantime, I'd be very happy to provide more kudoichi art before that happens❤

I'm very excited about kudoichi week!! I really hope people are able to participate so we can share more of the kudoichi love

[meanbossart]

Massive ask compilation time OH LORD

YES, her journals are a fun read. I somewhat wish there was more to her and The Dark Urge's interactions, too - she's wonderfully evil and clearly very attached to you if you're playing as that character, but I had hoped there was more of a reason for her obsession besides just "you were fun to cut up", haha. I remember reading her journal over a couple of times looking for something I might have missed.

His reaction was pretty in line with the Narrator's cues, just immediate rage over what she had done to him - DU Drow may be a masochist but that's reserved for people he cares about! So, her and her posse met a swift end. Also, despite the fact that the whole tadpole thing turned out being for the best, I think he's easily overtaken by resentment over his lost glory-days whenever faced with it so directly (he misses living in obliviousness) - not to mention his profound fear of vulnerability, and of feeling... Small. The way Kressa spoke to and of him would have absolutely shook him to his core, especially by doing so in front of the others.

[MORE UNDER CUT]

THANK YOU so much for your kind words first of all! As for the question, it depends a bit on the timeline; his dislike of female drow, especially at the start of his tadpole'd journey is pretty irrational and faith status wouldn't be of too much relevance, he just thinks It's in their nature to want to put him down and be conniving, and wants nothing to do with them.

Later, and especially post-game, he might at least give them a chance to prove they aren't "like other drow", though it would take him a lot to ever let his guard down entirely - UNLESS you seem like a complete fool LOL he's actually easy to trick into dismissing you as long as you don't mind playing the role of a dumb idiot.

But if not, he'd have an extremely short patience for any attempts to exert authority over him or his actions - or jokes at his expense, or any level of smugness or secrecy. Nymea would definitely feel kept at arms length because of the gender+race combo alone and have to put up with a lot of snideness. Basically, she'd have to treat this 6'4" feet tall freak with kids gloves to ever develop a rapport LOL

But also... The vampirism may "help"? He'd consider her a "lesser drow" for it. In that regard her attitudes toward Astarion would probably come to be relevant. I'm not sure about that aspect of it to be honest!

First of all, this is a hysterical scenario because he Would just fucking put the ring on without thinking about it LOL so thank you for the laugh that mental image just provided me with.

Oh he wouldn't care though. I mean, he dislikes drow in general, but he is a drow (up for debate, but you know, generally speaking) and he thinks he's pretty great. As long as he's still huge and strong he could wake up a woman tomorrow and not give a damn. And, frankly, his dick could turn into a pussy at any point in time and it wouldn't change anything about his character save for having to add a recurring UTI problem to his character sheet - he'd probably have fun with it.

TOTALLY FAIR, I'm very sorry it went past the point of enjoyment for you, but I'm glad you knew when to put it down!!! We're in our hand-holding and elf-smooching era now with the occasional visceral description of violence LOL SO YOU'RE WELCOME IN IF YOU'D LIKE. Thank you for dropping by!

Just putting this here because - I actually haven't decided yet, so that's pretty funny you asked LOL I'm leaning eyes closed though, nothing like a smooch to calm the big weirdo down.

HAHAHAH WELCOME BACK, I've been around this whole time! But I was hanging out on twitter for the most part. HOPE YOU'RE INTO THE DND STUFF LOL

DROW DURGES RISE UP I'll be honest with you friend, DU drow's lore has been as accidental as something like that can be, so much of it has felt completely organic in the way it came up - I guess that's what good RPG does to your brain. The rest of it has just been a wonderful opportunity to develop my writing that I decided to take full advantage of this year. Thank you so much for the lovely message!

---

Aaaaand I can barely muster something to say that feels like an appropriate response, but again I wanted to acknowledge all the sweet compliments people take the time to leave in my inbox. Some of you guys' comments about the things I create blow me away, I think I'm pretty confident in my art but... Damn, makes me so happy to know the stuff I create can hold a little special place to some folks. Thank you all so, so much for taking time out of your day to spread a little kindness around, and make mine a little better.

Again, thank you all for humoring me, have a lovely day folks!

[animentality]

@weavewithshadow just informed me that Enver means luminous or shining one...

and he was working with/ in love with the DARK urge?

Oh hahahah, you're SO funny, Larian, so funny, I'm laughing so hard, come over to my house tomorrow, please, I wanna have a word.