#haha wouldn’t that be a funny joke if we kissed

[kim-tey]

- Taskmaster Podcast ep 179

Oh. Ed has insights. [x] tiktok [x] youtube for the whole commentary

[leclercsixteen]

𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 ! ᶜˡ¹⁶

you're intertwining your soul with somebody else ⋆˚࿔

𝓬harles leclerc x 𝓶ale reader synopsis: it was always y/n and charles, charles and y/n. nobody ever came between them. then, charles got a girlfriend and y/n gets jealous.

genre: social media, angst kinda?? warnings: y/n used for reader. lowk mild angst. mostly told through social media posts. kms joke. reader being jealous for no reason.

author's note: not intended for female readers & not written for female readers. using joris as a fc lowkey haha. also!! no shade to alex at all just a fun piece of fiction for fun :))

masterlist. navigation. part two.

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, f1, and others tagged: charles_leclerc

youruser think it’s safe to say the break was fun 🫡

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userone now why did y/n only post him and charles yet charles did not post a single picture of him and y/n?? ⤷ usertwo don't tell me my fav platonic bfs are going through a break up ⤷ userone if they are I might kms idk tho

userthree when are they becoming canon ⤷ userfour bro ? canon ���? have you never been in a non fictional fandom before ⤷ userthree I've been stuck in the 9-1-1 fandom forever free me

charles_leclercs love ya man! ⤷ youruser much love char 🤍 ⤷ userfive "love ya man" daughter or "much love char" son

usersix just kiss already gyatt DAMN bro ⤷ userseven bro chill we don't want to assume anything ⤷ usersix they've literally kissed before wdym 💔💔 ⤷ usereight alright grandma lets get you back to bed

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, youruser, f1, and others tagged: alexandrasaintmleux

charles_leclerc mi amor ❤️

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usernine this is embarrassing ⤷ userten wdym? its just a gf and a bf ⤷ usernine no for y/n he posted pics of him and charles while charles only posted him and alex

youruser yall cute or whateva 💁💁❤️ liked by charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, and others ⤷ usereleven oh babes im sorry 😭

usertwelve where is y/n??????

userthirteen not me looking for y/n immediately .. i might have a problem I fear ⤷ userfourteen no cause I did the exact same thing...

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, willne, and others

youruser mi vida 🌊

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userfifteen oh my petty king how i love you ⤷ usersixteen how is this petty? ⤷ userfifteen for every break in the f1 season y/n and charles have a shared vacation and post each other but this year charles posted his new gf (dw I love her) and said 'mi amor' in the caption so it's just funny that y/n used 'mi vida' which means 'my life' 😭😭 ⤷ usersixteen while i think you're reaching this is funny

lewishamilton looking great y/n! ⤷ youruser that's all you man! ⤷ userseventeen "chary/n" daughter or "lewy/n" son

usereighteen oh wow

usernineteen an interesting way to propose but yes

usertwenty just realizing we haven't seen much of y/n shirtless...but im not complaining ⤷ usertwenone right?? like chary/n please fight more

HIS VACATION WAS supposed to be relaxing, yet he’s having one sided beef with his closest friend on instagram and causing a ruckus on twitter—and he just knew his pr manager wouldn’t be happy with him at all. but, he didn’t care as he laid on his back in the day bed in the airbnb charles rented out for the week. they found themselves in greece for this year’s break, but that wasn’t the only thing that was different.

charles’s girlfriend was with them.

charles of course didn’t bring her along without asking y/n if he was okay with it, to which he said that it was okay and that charles should invite her along. so, truthfully, it was his own fault. he loved alexandra, he really did. she was nice and the perfect girl for charles, yet he couldn't help the pit in his stomach that formed when charles said that he found somebody a couple weeks ago.

this trip wasn't the first time that y/n met alexandra. he actually really liked her and charles together when he first met her. but, a rock had settled in the bottom of his stomach. he wasn't sure why, but he knew it had to be there because of charles.

y/n had never questioned his sexuality, he was 26 for goodness sake. questioning your sexuality is for teens who fell in love with their best friend—at least that's what y/n thought. maybe he was being truthful or he just didn't want another thing to worry about along with his and charles's f1 careers.

he held his phone above his head in the air as he scrolled on twitter, pursing his lips at every post he saw that included either him, charles, or him and charles together. a knock on his door paused his doom scrolling momentarily.

"it's open," he called as he continued to scroll on twitter. he liked a couple of funny tweets as the door opened and charles appeared in his doorway—well, the airbnb's doorway if you want to get technical.

y/n turned his head toward the doorway and sighed once he realized it was the man he started one sided beef with just a couple of hours ago. "what do you want?" he asked, his voice venomous as he dropped his phone onto his bare chest. it was hot in greece, so he and the other guys on the trip practically lived in linen outfits, flip flops, and swim trunks.

charles scoffed a laugh as he stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind him. "what is wrong?" charles asked as he took a couple of steps closer to the day bed. he stopped just in front of the coffee table that held y/n's iced coffee that he hadn't touched since he got home a couple of hours ago—it sat in its own condensation and the ice melted, making it look like a concoction that a middle school boy would make with his school lunch.

y/n shook his head and feigned innocence, "i don't know what you mean. nothing is wrong." turns out his career choice was the right one because he was a terrible actor as charles raised a brow and looked at y/n like a parent who just caught their kid in a lie. y/n side eyed charles before rolling his eyes. "charles, i'm too tired for this," y/n groaned as he wiped his face with his hands, his knuckles rubbing at his eyes.

"do not lie to me, y/n," charles sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. y/n came to the conclusion that this was not a good look on charles; frustration. charles looked better when he was smiling and meeting fans. "you created unnecessary drama on instagram and twitter and now silvia is texting me to fix it while we're on vacation," charles rolled his eyes. he looked like he did not want to be there arguing with y/n, and neither did y/n.

y/n raised his hands in surrender, "hey, i didn't start shit. the fans pointed something out and then i played with it, nothing else! they read into our posts and i thought it was funny."

he did not, in fact, think it was funny, not one bit. he wanted his best friend back, yet his best friends attention was on his girlfriend and making sure that they stayed out of drama on the internet.

charles sighed again and he moved. he now sat on the coffee table in front of the day bed so he was closer to y/n's height and they were now face-to-face. "i get it," charles started, "alexandra is a new addition to the group, but that doesn't mean you get to be dramatic on the internet. it's frustrating for me and for our pr teams. you need to talk to me, y/n, instead of doing something stupid."

"but my reasoning is stupid," y/n said, now feeling like a child who's gotten scolded for something. "it won't make sense to you and it's petty and childish behavior. i don't want to talk about it," he was whining now, and he wasn’t sure where it came from. y/n doesn’t whine, he mocks and he yells, but he doesn’t whine.

"i bet you it's not that stupid," charles smiled comfortingly at y/n, trying to get his friend to open up to him as if they hadn't done this before. "come on, hit me," he laughs as he leans back and rests his hands behind him on the coffee table.

it was silent for a couple of beats as y/n thought about what he wanted to say and if he wanted to say it or not. his brain would sound like car crash after car crash if someone listened in. it was chaotic and he couldn't concentrate, so he just said words and hoped that they made sense and didn't make the conversation awkward.

"i think i like you."

well that definitely made the conversation awkward.

a/n: lmk if you guys want a part two cause yes im leaving it on a cliffhanger sorry ☺️☺️

[noorpersona]

Jealousy: Kageyama

The gym was buzzing with the usual chaos of Karasuno’s practice. Balls flying, sneakers squeaking, Hinata screaming.

Kageyama was not paying attention to any of it.

Instead, his eyes were locked onto the far side of the gym, where you were sitting on the bench, laughing your ass off.

At Nishinoya and Tanaka.

Which was unacceptable.

It had been happening for way too long now—every time he glanced over, you were giggling, eyes bright with amusement as those two idiots animatedly told who-knows-what story.

And Kageyama?

Kageyama was seething.

(He wouldn’t call it jealousy—because that would be stupid—but something in his chest felt annoyingly tight every time you laughed at their jokes.)

He tried to focus on practice, he really did, but then—another laugh.

A full, genuine laugh from you, and he felt something snap.

With zero hesitation, Kageyama turned on his heel and glared.

Not just a regular glare.

A death glare.

A "you’re-about-to-lose-your-starter-position" glare.

And it worked instantly.

Tanaka and Nishinoya froze mid-sentence, their bodies stiffening as if they’d just sensed a predator. Slowly—very, very slowly—they turned their heads to see Kageyama staring daggers at them from across the gym.

“What the hell—” Tanaka whispered.

Nishinoya gulped. “Why is he looking at us like that?”

“I don’t know, man.”

“What did we do?”

You, completely unaware, blinked as your two friends immediately folded.

“Uh… haha, anyway, gotta go warm up!” Tanaka said way too loudly, slapping Nishinoya on the back.

“Yeah, yeah! Super important practice stuff!” Nishinoya agreed, standing so fast he nearly tripped over the bench. “We, uh—see ya later!”

Before you could even respond, the two had already bolted back onto the court, shooting each other nervous glances like they had just escaped certain doom.

You frowned, watching them go. Weird.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, you caught a familiar tall figure standing near the net.

Oh.

You smiled. So that’s what this was about.

Hopping off the bench, you made your way over to him.

Kageyama pretended not to notice, looking very intently at nothing in particular.

When you stopped right in front of him, tilting your head with an amused grin, he finally gave you a half-second glance.

“You okay there, Tobio?”

“...I’m fine.”

You raised an eyebrow.

A beat of silence.

Then, arms still crossed, his voice grumbled out,

“…What was so funny anyway?”

Your smile grew.

Oh. That was adorable.

Without a second thought, you went up on your tippy-toes and pressed a quick, warm kiss to his cheek.

Kageyama went rigid.

His ears turned red instantly.

You pulled back, hands on your hips, grinning up at him.

“Still jealous?” you teased.

Kageyama, glowering at the floor, muttered under his breath,

“…Shut up.”

[jjsloverre]

bsf!jj asking you to be his girlfriend!

in which… jj takes sweetheart out to an arcade to ask her to be his girlfriend!

contains… cursing, ultimate fluff, and a TINY bit of smut, unprotected p in v (don’t do this), handjob & that’s it i hope! (not proofread)

__________________________________________________________

today was the day. today was the day jj would finally ask you to be his girlfriend. after waiting for years to do it, today he wouldn’t chicken out, you both would finally be happy.

“baby! hurry up we got 20 minutes!” jj yelled from downstairs. “i’m coming love!” you hurried downstairs. “holy fuck you look like a goddess.” jj murmured, kissing you while you walked out the house.

the drive to the arcade was bliss. you and jj were rambling about school, homework, work, anything that came to mind? oh yeah you talked about it. “so jayj?” you started. he looked at you for a second. “what’s up baby?” you took his free hand and fiddled with it, finally intertwining your hands together. “i’m happy to be with you, like a lot. i couldn’t ask for anything more and i already love this date bunches.”

jj looked at you with pure love and adoration. “y’know i adore you? everything about you just, makes me wanna protect you from the world. keep you in your tiny little love bubble you always got goin on, it’s just so sweet and precious.” your heart soared at his loving words. while the red light was active, you leaped into jj’s arms for a few kisses and sat back down. “i love you so much jayj.”

“i love you more sweetheart.”

jj took your hand into the arcade, buying the tokens and the gaming card for you both to play. “alright mama, what’s first?” he asked, while paying. “definitely basketball, you’re getting your ass kicked!” you say excitingly. “love your confidence baby.” he smirked, and took you to an available basketball hoop. “jayj this is gonna be so fun!!” you exclaimed, already swiping your card. “how much money did you put on here again?”

“don’t get mad but like there’s a good 500 points on there or some shit.”

“jj! that’s almost 200 dollars!” you screamed. you hated when jj blew almost a full check on you. “baby, it’s alright it’s worth it.” you sighed, he would continue to fight about it and you knew that. “okay fine, but next date is on me.”

“ok baby, whatever you’d like.” as you both played basketball and a ton of other games, you finally took a break for food. “baby!” you squeal. “can we pleaseeeee share a funnel cake?”

jj smiled and nodded. “yes ma’am we can. here, take my card and go buy it. i’ll get us a table and get whatever drinks you want ok?” you nod, and take his card. “do you want any specific drink?” jj shook his head. “get me anything you wanna get me, whatever you want sweetheart.”

“okay!” you walk to concession stand and order your food and drinks. you walk back a few minutes later and hand him his favorite drink. “there you go my baby!” jj’s heart swelled with love as you spoke and sat his drink down. “thank you beautiful.” even though pda wasn’t typically allowed, jj sat you in his lap and fed you some of your shared funnel cake. “taste good?” you nod. “wonderful.”

“how many more games do you wanna play baby?” he asked.

“ou ou! can we do one of those car games and we should do the go kart racing! and after that laser tags and then-” he cut you off immediately. “alright baby let’s just go and you can lead me to anything you want to do next.” you squealed in excitement. “let’s go!”

after another two hours, jj took you home and you both shared a shower. “finally! i’m so happy to be home i’m tired.” you yelled. “not done yet baby, i’m takin you out to dinner.”

“haha funny joke jj, you’ve spent enough money.”

“not a joke. i rented the whole restaurant just for us so we’re doing this.” you rolled your eyes. “fine jayj.” you and jj’s lips connected in the shower, sharing a passionate kiss. “mm love you.” he mumbled into the kiss. “love you more sweetie.” i reach down to stroke your hardening cock. “do y’like that baby?”

“i love it ma. cmon keep goin.” jj broke the kiss and buried his face into your neck, letting out needy whimpers. “my baby, you’re being such a good boy for me.” jj lets out another whimper, grabbing onto your plump ass. “fuck baby.. i can’t- i won’t last much longer.” you sped up your movements, cupping his heavy balls and squeezing just right. “f-fuck baby shit!” jj moaned into your neck, erratically thrusting into your fist.

with one more squeeze to his balls, jj came undone. in a swift movement, jj slipped his throbbing cock into your wet folds, his tip kissing your entrance. he pushed forward. “fuck baby i’m so sorry i need this..” you nodded happily and squeezed jj’s throbbing cock in more and more until he came, hard. he held you close while he emptied his load inside of your greedy cunt. “that’s a good boy.” cmon, we gonna get ready!”

“ma! i want you to cum though!” suddenly, jj felt your walls clamp down hard on his cock, realizing you did in fact cum. he moaned loudly and came one more time, giving you one more greedy load. “fuck baby, best sex i’ve had.”

“take it you liked it?”

“fuck yeah i did. now get ready for me, wear that red dress in your closet.”

you nod, putting the dress on after you get out of the shower. once you stepped out, jj looked at you in awe. “fuck yes baby! you look amazing! come on! i have so much shit planned for us.”

as you arrived at the restaurant, you immediately cling onto jj. “hey sweet girl, you’re alright.” he coaxed. he started to lead you to your seats and you both ordered. “pops is out of town again, so i can have you over and cuddle you.”

“exactly what i needed jayj.”

you and jj talked about random things for an hour, eating your food and happy overall, until he dropped a bombshell.

“so sweetheart.” he started. you turned your attention to him, letting him caress your thighs. “i didn’t think there was any better way to do this. i want you to be my girlfriend baby. the real deal, not this ‘friends with benefits’ shit. i need you, i need you like i need to breathe air or whatever they say. i just know… i just know that i’m in love with you and you’re where i belong, so will you make me the happiest man on this earth and allow me to be your boyfriend?” to your surprise he pulled out a small diamond ring. “now this, cost me my whole paycheck and more but it was overall worth it. and i think nobody deserves happiness more than you do.”

you cried pure happy tears. you threw yourself in his arms and cried. “i would love that! i want you to be mine!” jj captured your lips in a slow, sensual kiss. he poured his love and devotion into the kiss. “i love you so much.” jj muttered. “and i love you more maybank. always and forever.” with that, you leaned into the kiss more, celebrating your new love with the man you always dreamed of.

__________________________________________________________

taglist: @sturniologirlzz @sturns-mermaid @aaliyahsturniolo @ethanthequeefqueen @sophand4n4 @kieeslove @chalahyung01 @bee-43 @superlegend216 @masongetinmybed @eddxemxnson @always-reading @maybankslover @leaseyes @glitterybombshell @slut4rafecameronn @sttaejoon-blog @imsiriuslyreal @coalicionees

a/n: lmk if you guys want a fic of them getting married (like a time skip 3 years later & they get married & have a child) but yeah lmk if you want that in a few days!

more bsf!jj x sweetheart!reader here!

__________________________________________________________

[srslyscary]

things they’ve said

things bf!skz has said to you

Including: bang chan, changbin, hyunjin, lee know, seungmin, han, felix, jeongin

Bang Chan

; “you’re too cute for this world, Y’know?”

; “don’t doubt yourself babe. you’re amazing in my eyes.”

; “not every day do you get to wake up to a gorgeous gal.”

; “I know it’s late, but check out this track I made— yeah it’s about you, what about it babe?”

; “stain my face with your pretty lips baby, I want everyone to know I belong to you— yeah with that new lipstick you bought, it’s a cute color. perfect for complimenting my face.”

; “i have seven kids and now they’re also YOUR seven kids.. deal with it, hah.”

; “you’re shorter than me, so your love capacity isn’t as strong as mine. it’s physically impossible for you to love me more babe.”

; “I can’t take my eyes off you. you’re just too pretty— I’m not trying to be creepy!— no— Y’know what I just won’t look at you then.. hehe.”

; “you deserve the universe.”

; “it’s kind of hard to unlove you sweetheart.”

; “it’s only been 2 minutes how do you already miss me.”

; “baby all I wanna do is see you. and do you.— just kidding… or am I?”

; “my goal is to keep you happy all the time.”

; “I love you because you’re the best. intellectual wise I REALLY would hate for someone to touch you lovingly like I do.”

; “excuse the fact that we’re locked in for life and you can’t go anywhere without me- HAHA.”

; “I got addicted to you very easily.”

; “I think I’m just in love with everything you do.”

; “I love you. I don’t think I said that enough today.”

Changbin

; “y’know what we should do? go have a picnic and watch the sunset. wouldn’t that be nice?”

; “you’re always pretty jagiya. you’re especially pretty without makeup.”

; “i’m tired. let’s cuddle, kay? I wanna feel you wrapped up in my arms, I’ll know you’re safe with me then.”

; “I literally just can’t have enough of you.”

; “I’ve been looking at pictures of you for the last 30 minutes—“

; “I like you mostest— no I love you. I’m IN love with you.”

; “wanna ft and eat together?”

; “You’re perfect to me. You always will be— it’s not cheesy it’s the truth!— accept my compliments right now!”

; “stop being stingy and give me more kisses! I’ll die if you don’t smother me— it’s true my doctor says so!”

; “your presence heals me.”

; “You’re like my healing wave and my bright sun.”

; “I can’t even describe in words how sexy you are right now- you’re just- WOW.”

; “FOOD DATEEEE! YAYYYY!”

; “I want you in every way that there is to want a person.”

; “You’re sweet, and hot.. good mix in my opinion.”

; “you should stay up.. I wanna keep flirting with you.”

Hyunjin

; “I wanted to talk to you. I miss your voice and your laugh, and your pretty face.”

; “my love, you could be more discreet if you’re trying to scare me— USING MINHO AS A SCARE TACTIC ISN’T FAIR EITHER!”

; “I’ll be as sassy as I want. Now give me a kiss I’m craving them— yes I’m on my period now hand them over or else.”

; “jokes on you, you’re my number one priority right now. the boys can wait a little while longer.”

; “I wanna stay up and talk to you.— What do you mean no?— that’s too bad, you’re not my mom.”

; “you mean more than the world to me.”

; “I don’t care who he was. he was looking at you the way I look at you. and I should be the ONLY person to look at you like that— cmon love.”

; “I’m physically craving your touch right now— I just want to sock you in the face and then kiss it right where it hurts— I’m joking I love you!”

; “I always wanna be by your side angel.”

; “You’re cute when you’re sleepy.”

; “I’m painting you love, what else would I be doing?”

Lee Know

; “you literally captivate me. your eyes especially. I could spend hours looking at your pretty face and never get bored.”

; “one day I’m gonna train my cats to come beat you up.”

; “I’m gonna punch you in the mouth. With my mouth. Softly.— yea I’m going to kiss you.”

; “stop saying things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you. it’s not funny— don’t laugh!”

; “I want your lips, I want your everything. or rather- I want you here so I can hold you.”

; “when I talk to you.. it’s like talking to my best friend. except I love you and I get to kiss you all over and all that cool stuff.”

; “your stubborn ass is never gonna listen— also I love your ass. literally.”

; “I’m really just.. fucking soft when it comes to you.”

; “yeah babe. you’re really pretty. the prettiest.”

; “You’re literally dreaming i didn’t say that— how’s that gaslighting?!”

; “you make me think of a love song every time I look at you.”

; “baby, just kiss me.”

; “Sure, we can get matching outfits.”

Seungmin

; “you look so innocent but I know you’re not— that makes me weak.”

; “I can tell you so many times how pretty you are, because you’re my pretty puppy and no one else’s.”

; “kinda wanna take you out for dinner— what I’m just saying?”

; “relax pretty puppy, I’m all yours.”

; “I wanna see you drunk off my kisses.”

; “I just like whacked Han in the back of the head and he started crying- funniest thing ever.”

; “we look cute together, don’t you agree?”

; “let’s live together, I hate everyone else except you.”

; “you haven’t talked to me since 12:03pm. I’m lonely. talk to me babe.”

; “it’s not like I hate going out. I just hate everyone else gets to see how pretty you are.”

; “didn’t you say you liked these?— yeah I got ‘em for you.”

; “babe, you’re constantly reading that. what is it?”

; “wanna come watch me practice?”

; “that dress is cute babe, you should get it.”

; “You’re so stupidly cute, it’s getting annoying.”

; “babe, I love you— but stop trying to get me to buy you that dog.”

Han

; “BABE GUESS WHAT— I love you!”

; “hi beautiful, I hope you had a good day!”

; “You’re so cute babeeee, you literally make my heart melt.”

; “wake up I miss you.”

; “baby, have I ever told you how pretty you are?— mhm! the prettiest.”

; “You’re all I’ll ever need.”

; “daily reminder that I’m so in love with you-!”

; “I woke up and the first thing I wanted was you.”

; “this pretty face is all mine— mine to kiss and stare at and compliment.”

; “my favorite thing to look at is you of course!!”

; “TODAY REMINDS ME OF YOU— BECAUSE ITS HOT.”

; “I got butterflies when you called me pretty.”

; “I stay up just to talk to you babe.”

; “girl the only side chicks I got are your other personalities.”

; “You’re always on my mind, duh.”

; “honestly my mom would be so proud of me if I brought you home.”

; “you have me on some foreign level of happy.”

; “why is it that birds chirp to communicate? let’s chirp to communicate baby! — IT’S NOT WEIRD IT’S NATURE.”

; “how’s your day going my beautiful future wife?”

; “face time meeee, I’m with the boyssss, they wanna say hi to my girlll!”

; “I want you. Only you.”

; “just kiss me and don’t stop.”

Felix

; “good morning angel. sleep well?”

; “I want all of you forever. you and your perfect face, your perfect body, your perfect personality.”

; “me and chan bought ice cream! wanna share with me?”

; “BABE THERE’S A SPIDER— oh right.. yeah I’ll kill it-“

; “so you’re saying you saw a cat and your first thought was to text me about it?— god I love you.”

; “you just have me so whipped. I’d do anything for you.”

; “sunshine, can I tell the boys about you?”

; “You’re my entire universe, and whatever is beyond that.”

; “such a pretty face, can’t believe I get to kiss you and call you mine.”

; “of course I made you some brownies! why wouldn’t I?”

; “when I kiss you it’s hard for me to stop.”

; “I love you with my heart baby.”

; “don’t get jealous baby you own my heart, I’m all yours.”

; “I wanna marry you already. I want a house, a dog, a weird grocery list, everything baby.”

; “why are you staring at me, huh beautiful?”

; “You’re really cute when you’re nervous.”

; “I’ll be over in five with pizza. Sound good?”

Jeongin

; “I’m so proud of everything you do lovely!”

; “proceed with caution you might burn down the kitchen.”

; “You’re literally my dream girl.”

; “I was just thinking about you— and our future.”

; “the thought of us kissing won’t leave my head-“

; “I miss you, call me?”

; “You’re cute.. we should be cute together!”

; “stay called me a peach.. do you think I’m a peach lovely?”

; “I don’t care what you wear, you’re beautiful either way.”

; “there she is— the girl of my dreams.”

; “I wanna be your every thought, every second of the day.”

; “I text you when I miss you.. which is all the time.”

; “can I tell you something? don’t freak out.— I love you.”

; “Sorry im busy! I’m discussing future wedding plans with your mom!”

; “you hungry lovely?— scratch that I know you’re always hungry, let’s go to that cafe down the street.”

; “send me videos of you— why would I want nudes? — no send me videos of you being silly and singing!”

; “I’m glad I met you too, you’re the best thing to happen to me.”

[diddybok]

what about felix getting jealous of you spending increasingly more time with hyunjinnie and he gets all pouty and in a strop?

i’d do anything to kiss a pout off of felix’s face. oh wait, i literally can because he is right next to me!

all characters depicted in my writing are from my own imagination and do NOT in any way represent nor reflect the people in real life :)

➩pairing: felix x gn!reader

➩genre(s): angst (soz), a little bit of fluff if you had the vision of a clinically blind person, non-idol au

➩warnings: jealousy, felix grabs reader by the waist quite harshly, but it is not with malicious intent!

➩wc: 0.7k (703)

➩author’s note: whoops. *shrug emoji*

─────────────────────

“Hey Lix have you seen my sunglasses? I can’t find them anywhere.” You yell, your feet thumping softly on the ground as you search around your room frantically.

Felix walks into your bedroom, failing to hide the amusement in his face as he witnesses your panicked state.

“Nope. Haven’t seen them around. Where are you going?” He asks, folding his arms as he leans on the doorframe.

“Hyune and I are going to the beach and we’re gonna take some photos of the sunset.” You say, groaning as you close another drawer unsuccessful in your search for your sunglasses.

Felix’s face immediately falls. His heart starts to beat rapidly and his jaw clenches. Weird.

“Sunset? But it’s noon.” He says, trying to refrain the bite to his tone.

You rummage through your bag, not looking up to see the way his eyebrows furrow.

“Yeah we’re gonna hang out at the beach. We were talking about it for a while and the weather is finally nice so we want to make the most of it.” You say resting your hands on your hips as you close your eyes and take some deep breaths.

Felix didn’t like that. He knows that nothing will happen, you’re his partner, not Hyunjin’s. Though it doesn’t stop the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that burdens him with the question of ‘What if?’.

“Oh. Seems my company isn’t that great if the two of you are going off alone haha….” Felix tries to joke. Emphasis on tries.

The ‘joke’ made you finally turn your attention towards your boyfriend. You walk up to him, placing your hands on his chest reassuringly.

“I’ll collect pretty seashells and rocks and bring them back for you.” You smile up at him about to meet his lips halfway for a smooch, but you turn away at the last second.

Again, ouch. That hurt Felix a little, but he can surely survive on his kiss being swerved. Perhaps to him, he just thinks you’re really set on finding those sunglasses and not trying to rush out the door as soon as possible to get away from him.

That’s not what you think, right? You wouldn’t do that.

You run over to one of your jackets that hang on the back of your door. Trying your luck with the pockets, you damn near cheer as you pull out your sunglasses.

“Yes! Finally,” You place the glasses on the bridge of your nose before sliding them up menacingly. “bring on the beach.” You say lowering your voice.

Sometimes you’re funny, sometimes you aren’t. In this case, Felix would grace you with a small pity laugh to make you feel better about your impromptu serious demeanour you coined, but he can’t stop thinking about Hyunjin.

To be more specific, Hyunjin potentially taking you away from him. Felix just smiles as you chuckle softly to yourself at your antics before moving past him and getting your shoes on.

Hyunjin wouldn’t steal you from him. That’s one of his best friends. He also knows that he is one of your best friends.

“I’ll text you when I get there, when I’m leaving and I’ll send you photos and all the good stuff.” You say hurriedly, giving him a peck on the lips.

It was as if the muscle memory kicked in as Felix’s hand gripped your waist. It wasn’t a tight enough grip to hurt you per say, but it sure did keep you in place.

“You know I love you right? Me. I’m yours?” He whispers against your lips, planting a gentle kiss which acts much like a seal; like wax to an envelope. A promise of sorts.

“I know.” You say with a warm smile. Though your words are genuine, once again they feel as if you’ve wrapped your hand around his heart and squeezed.

Say it back…

But you don’t, you just give him one last kiss to his forehead before racing out the door and straight to the parked car.

It was then when he felt the bile come up at the thought. The thought that by the time you come back home. You will no longer be his.

ʚ hope you enjoyed ^.^ you can support me by liking, commenting and reblogging! it is heavily appreciated ᵕ̈ ɞ

i do not permit my work to be translated or reposted in any way, thank you.

© 2023 diddybok

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[heeheesang]

first monthsary & her plans. | tbnd.

“welcome to jang’s! do you have a table reserved?” the waiter asked as gyuvin nodded his head, “it should be under gyuvin.” the waiter nodded and brought us to a table with flowers on the table.

gyuvin sat on the opposite side as we settled down.“for a cafe… this place is giving rich restaurant.” i joked to which gyuvin giggled, playing with my hands before kissing my palm.

“hello..! i’m wonyoung and i’ll be serv— gyuvin..!” we both looked up and i immediately felt uneasy, do they not have any other servers here..?

“hello to you too. my girlfriend is here too,” gyuvin said as he held my hands again, smiling widely as i saw wonyoung rolling her eyes from the side of my eye.

“hello yn.” she said with a fake smile before leaning more towards gyuvin on the side of the table, “what would you like to eat? panini? waffles? or me..?” wonyoung said before i shot her a look, gyuvin immediately getting up from his chair and sitting next to me.

“just kidding. gosh, yn. don’t have to be so mean.” she cleared before we ordered our foods and drinks.

“what’s her deal.” wonyoung ‘joked’ with gyuvin before giggling away on her own and walking off. “wow, are you two close? am i missing a chapter here?” i mumbled, “i honestly don’t know, i have not opened her chat at all. too busy texting and calling my pretty girl.”

i blushed as we talked about other stuff such as when eumppappa somehow went to our school to send gyuvin his pencil because he forgot it. others like how riri wouldn’t stop humping hanbin’s arm because she was in heat.

“there’s no way riri actually did that… i’d be traumatised..!” gyuvin said with the funniest facial expression, causing me to laugh out loud, a little too loud.

“your food and drinks have arrived ~ i asked the chef to make it extra delicious for you, gyuvin! you guys don’t mind if i have my break with you guys here right..? thanks!” wonyoung basically self invited herself to our table wouldn’t stop flirting with gyuvin.

“haha! you’re so funny, gyuvin..! too bad you’re stuck with this… thing!” she eyed me before smiling widely at gyuvin.

“you know, if you’re so much better than me, why isn’t he with you huh? oh! i know! it’s because i don’t text other people’s boyfriends knowing the fuck well that he has a girlfriend!” i went off at her as she rolled her eyes, about to say something but i cut her off.

“also! if you don’t mind? we’re on a date. me and my boyfriend, gyuvin. my boyfriend, not yours.” i smiled before she let out an angry whine and left.

“oh that was so hot of you.”

next | back | mlist

tl— @kaynunu @iiamshk @evpyzx @choppedballoondetective @yourssincerely-mimi @petralovesbonedo @hahaechans

[vamp-ish]

i realise now that the rpf coke hits harder than the phc coke….

f*zziq and am*r.

i feel like they’re true blue casual sex friends w benefits (unlike a*dy…#fullshade). like the whole point of them fucking is to have fun, and it is SO MUCH FUN. knowing that the other wants to fuck from a single nod and a smirk, giggling and laughing in the middle of it for literally no reason, teasing each other when they discover a new kink the other has, they don’t say anything that they wouldn’t say to each other outside of bed, playful spanks and biting just to get a reaction out of the other. it is so aggressively platonic it’s ridiculous. and they’re not gentle w each other either ((if am*r wanted gentle, he’d go to a*dy)) they love to pull each other’s hair, push each other around, am*r is more often than not getting manhandled by f*zziq, testing each others limits like crazy. male friendship is a beautiful thing!

with skystar however… i actually don’t know…. maybe it’s cus i haven’t been consuming much skystar content or maybe it’s cus i don’t wanna cuck n*a. i feel like there’s smt there, maybe am*r offered to Help sky out but sky refused cus he’s a loyal good boy, but he also really really wanted to. yknow what fuck it maybe a handjob… and am*r wants to do the real deal w sky sooo bad cus sky is alw praising him from a handjob alone and we all know how am*r gets off on that lol

sorry. really showing off my degeneracy… at the end of the day i’m just a man ❤️

clearly you haven’t learned how crazy i am. head in hands i’m obsessed with these two they are sooooo comfortable with each other. the line ‘knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out is it casual now’ IT IS!!!! THEY CAN MAKE IT CASUAL!!!! legit it’s just another day of Boys Night Out with those two

MORE UNDER HERE

they’re the type to jokingly greet each other with ‘hi sayang’ because it’s not serious. they’re so comfortable they’re basically trying to crawl under each others’ skin everytime they’re sat next to eo and it’s all just so Casual. like fazziq could stick his tongue down amir’s throat on set and the older guys would look at them fondly like ‘aw the two same aged friends are getting along so well as usual ^^’—That is how casual they make it look

and casual fuckbuddies have the best sex fr there’s no other expectations other than to get off however they can. they can get so Playful and amir especially would be extra loud with fazziq just because he thinks its funny. y’know the exaggerated pornstar moaning—that kind. it’s done ironically but fazziq lowkey gets off to it because amir has a Good Voice and he makes it sound actually sexy even if its meant to be annoying

and like all of the cringe dialogues where amir overplays the role of a sweet little girlfriend, it’s sexy as much as it is funny. since they give pickup lines all the time during radio show, i just know that’s how they practice going all, ‘abang nak makan apa malam ni, nasi atau saya?’ then cue the cackling between them

the kind of jokes made that’s meant for haha’s but they’re also Lowkey Into It. because they even laugh in between their kisses, going ‘fuck, you’re slobbering all over my face’ or because they’re fondling each other too much that it gets ticklish at times. but it also gets cut off into moans and groans every so often because they Can’t Stop Touching, they just like to Feel Good with eo. shit’s like drug to them. the dopamine hit is just Crazy

it’s an issue because they’re getting off at places that are a little risky, being young dumb and horny all the time. they’ve spent so much time being nauseatingly close that everyone just finds it normal to find amir in fazziq’s lap, sometimes relaxed, sometimes squirming for god knows what reason, but their faces are so close they’re basically breathing the same air. when people look away sometimes the hands sneak a little too low and amir would start cursing while laughing, slapping fazziq away. and it’s all just a big joke to them as long as they’re not caught. tho even if they were—it’s seen as boys being boys. they grope eo all the time 😇

the jokes about kinks that lead to actually trying it out in bed…... things that start off as dumb pranks like fazziq spanking amir and him doing that fake-moaning shit and fazziq clearly being affected and amir’s going oh my god are you kidding me. laughs at him because it’s funny, and he lets fazziq do it again, and again, and they learn that it’s fun to be a little rough, a little reckless, and that amir can take A Lot. he likes taking it

which isn’t surprising. a lot of their impromptu make out sessions hidden on set were rough, almost animalistic. because the fight scenes get them worked up, and amir wants more than what the filming can give him. and during phc itself, fazziq’s really into seeing amir/kahar get beaten lol shit’s hot

because fazziq’s actual kink is simple: he just likes to feel strong around amir. and amir makes it so easy for him. he’ll melt the moment you touch his waist. he’ll let you manhandle him over your lap and lift him off the ground. amir just takes it all so good. sometimes he fight back a little, them having the friendly harmless tussle and fazziq loves the feeling of amir’s muscles straining against his. he can just lift amir off the ground and he just accepts his defeat

amir’s kink? hard to say. most times he just likes to be involved. he likes anything given to him, gentle or rough, he just likes it when he feels alive. anything that’s unplanned, him suddenly getting pulled into the dressing room, the stupid community store at the filming location, anywhere and he can feel fazziq’s grin pressed against his skin and amir’s also buzzing with the need to release

yeah. yea. i need more of these two……

also aedy special featuring here; i like to think aedy was surprised to learn that he wasn’t amir’s first (as a guy) lol like he fully convinced himself that he’s taking amir’s virginity and he’s going to take it slow and sweet but amir’s clearly taken dick before 😭 when aedy asks about it amir’s just sheepish like ‘oh…… haha… biasa la dengan kawan kadang-kadang….’ not namedropping fazziq because he’s less young and dumb now, so he’s starting to Think before his dick (amir tends to think clearer without fazziq around anyway. being with him makes them both lose their braincells)

still, aedy probably finds out later on because he caught them tangled together sometime during the movie set and laughs fondly because—ah, to be young and energetic (y’know, like a fucking millennial. he even calls them the gen z’s. god, he’s so sexy)

THE SKYSTAR PORTION IS SO REALLL

no one gets them the way you do because yes, sky is a loverboy first and foremost. his girlfriend is his life and no needy younger guy can take his loyalty away from him

… unless?

ok but i’ll leave this hanging for now because i need some time to cook up the skystar reply… will come back to it in the future but for Tonight! i just wanted to gush about fazziq/amir 😮‍💨 i need to let the world know how cute-sexy they are

[blossominghunnie]

𝐀𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

Pairing: Wonbin x fem!reader

Genre: Angst, suspense, little fluff?

Warning: Cursing, geting scared, mentions of blood

Notes: Anooother Wonbin imagine cause I'm obsessed jsjs.

“I can’t believe we’re here because you accepted that bet with Eunseok.” Wonbin rolled his eyes as he drove to their destination.

“You know I don’t back down from bets, babe.” Y/n responded looking at him, while playing with his fingers. His hand on her left thigh.

“What are you, a frat boy?”

“Considering I’m part of a sorority, almost.” She laughed. He pushed her playfully.

“Haha, you’re so funny.” He laughed sarcastically.

“I know, I know.” The girl smiled.

After three Txt songs they arrived at their stop.

“Aaand we’re here.” Her boyfriend spoke as he parked her blue jeep in front of an old looking mansion. It was black and had fog around it. Not creepy at all.

“Wooo, let’s enter.” Y/n took his hand and skipped towards the place.

“Slow down, baby. The house isn’t going anywhere.” He joked so it didn’t look like he was scared. Which he very much was.

“If you’re scared we can go, Binnie. I don’t care to lose to Eunseok.”

“No, no. It’s okay.” He shook his head.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, my love.” He pulled her closer by the waist and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Okay, if you don’t like something just tell me. Alright?”

He nodded and the two continued walking.

They climbed the stairs that led to the porch. And tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge.

“Oh, well. I guess we’ll have to go.”

As if it was planned, the door opened.

“Shit.” Wonbin cursed.

“Come on, pretty boy.”

She looked around, admiring the decadent wallpaper and furniture.

It looked like it had been abandoned for years. The girl wondered what had happened to the owners.

They explored for a while and didn’t find anything out of the ordinary until they walked to the attic, where they found a pentagram on the floor. It appeared to be a part of a satanic ritual, it had been drawn with blood, that looked like it was fresh.

That caused the both of them to shiver.

Then, a loud noise downstairs made her react.

“Baby, maybe we should get out of here.” Wonbin looked at her with a worrisome look on his eyes.

“Yeah, and quickly.”

They ran as fast as they could. Y/n could feel a presence behind, which made her go faster.

She could hear things breaking and at one point, there were things getting thrown at them.

“Oh my god!”

“Duck, Y/n!”

A chair broke in the wall in front.

It felt like an eternity when they reached the front door, opening it quickly and with great force.

They didn’t stop running until they reached the car.

Wonbin turned it on quickly and drove away.

“That wasn’t that bad.” He looked at his girlfriend with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me like that!” She giggled. “Have I never told you about the time I sneaked into an abandoned arcade with Sohee?”

“No and what’s up with you and abandoned places?” She shrugged.

Wonbin shook his head. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

And with that, they continued their long ride home.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Riize masterlist || Main masterlist

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

omg i loved your dark bam imagine!!! is there any way we get some more, like how he manipulates the media or her and ends up with her?? sorry i just love it so much and you’re literally so talented!! no rush in it! have a wonderful day/evening/night/morning idk just have a good ig ❤️❤️

Can’t Stand Losing You (Pt. 2)

Whatever was going on between Bam and you was impossible to make heads or tails of. He only seemed to complicate things for you further when he gives you a surprise over dinner.

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

(Dark, Angst, Fluff)

3.3k Words

Warnings: Obsessive behavior, suggestive content, paparazzi, bribery, possessiveness, lying, kissing

An: Thank you sosososoos much for this request!!! You are so sweet thank you!! I am so happy that my fic captivated you so much! All of your love for my work means so much! <3 I felt like the conclusion of the original fic was a little vague, so I was so happy to expand on it more! I am a sucker for the dark stuff so keep those requests coming! XD (links to parts 1 and 3)

“Hey, is this, like- Star Magazine?” Bam feigned high pitched valley girl upspeak as he pressed the phone against his ear with his shoulder. “Mmhm. Yeah, so I’m at Venice Beach, right? And I see this guy- total dreamboat- and he’s with some chick, and I’m all like, ‘Who’s that?’” Bam thrummed his a against the wheel of his Hummer, parked about a block away from your house.

Summer was brutal in LA, and swimming was one of the better ways you could cool off. Usually, you and Bam blended in with all of the other ridiculously hot people that hung out there, so it wasn’t an issue. You would splash around and Bam would end up chasing seagulls or face planting into the wet sand hard enough that he was sneezing out sand for weeks. Relatively quiet stuff (by your standards).

This wouldn’t be the case for long. “So I go to get a better look and you’ll never guess who it is!” He grinned, hearing the operator lean back and say something to someone just out of reach of the receiver- they were sending people. The operator returned, eagerly listening, “Who did you see, miss?”

“Bam Margera!” Feigning the voice of an excitable female fan, he could audibly hear the guy sit up in his chair as he continued, “And he’s shirtless too! What a hunk!” Taking a second to collect himself, Bam continued with his act, “Yeah! And, like- I think he’s with some model lady too? I dunno…maybe she’s his girlfriend or something?”

Click.

☆彡

“Are dudes really wearing that kinda stuff nowadays?” You joked, peering at the cleft of Bam’s ass crack that showed over his low swim trunks. Never in your life had you seen anyone wear them that low. He shrugged as you walked through the parking lot, past a couple of vans parked right where the sand met asphalt, “What?” He was several shades lighter than the sand you popped your folding chairs onto, his limbs dappled in multicolored bruises from skating and stunts. He looked like a bad peach. Scoffing, you flicked your sunglasses open, replying to Jim in a jokingly sarcastic tone, “You’re practically exposing yourself, Bam. You are such a slut!” Bam sat down in the chair next to you, “Yeah, you’re one to talk.” Well he did have a point there- you weren’t exactly dressed conservatively yourself.

But you couldn’t help it. It was a perfect day, and you needed to get a tan for your next photoshoot for some swimwear company. Reaching into your tote bag, you grabbed the bottle of sun tan oil. The sparkly hibiscus flower on the clear bottle flaked pink glitter off into your hands as you poured some out, rubbing it onto your shoulders and back. From behind you, Bam watched you with fervor as you massaged it in. He chuckled suggestively, “You need some help with that?”

“Haha. Very funny!” You rolled your eyes, “I am more than capable of applying my own lotion, thank you.” Reclining in his seat, he chuckled, “Eh, was worth a shot.” Your eyes drifted along the sands, the sounds of the waves like silk over your ears. It was quiet, as usual, while you people-watched. Mom with her kids, some bitch from the Real World getting into a fight with her boyfriend, guy with a camera- typical stuff. And it seemed that that day, for once in a very long time, that everything was normal. You and Bam made fun of the surfers when they wiped out, he got fly-by shat on by a seagull, and everybody had a really great time.

Bam would have an especially good time a few hours after you left.

☆彡

The silver magazine rack creaked as Bam flipped through it, humming to himself. By now it was night, and the dim light from the dirty little corner store that he stopped in filtered out onto the street though the glass storefront. Tapping his foot impatiently on unswept floors, he scanned through the tabloids for anything with his face on it.

Jackpot! His eyes went wide as he snatched up the thin, papery tabloid. Bam flipped through it, his eyes scanning every page. And there you two were, a picture perfect celebrity couple. A damn sexy one too, he thought, eyeing your exposed skin. The bold, bright pink text screamed at him from the front page, “Just like Paradise! Bam Margera spotted with girlfriend Y/N at Venice Beach!”

Grabbing a candy bar, he got his purchases and had them rang up at the counter. Not even waiting to drive back to his hotel, he kicked his feet up and read by the light of the dashboard. “Hmm…” Furrowing his brow, he thought about slipping that camera guy a twenty next time to make sure he got more flattering photos of him.

★彡

With all the flashing lights and media people, you really felt like a big shot as you walked down the red carpet. All the guests at the premiere were all dressed up so nicely, in their dazzling dresses and fancy suits- and then there was Bam, who was always too good to dress up for anything, especially these kinds of things. It meant nothing, you reminded yourself, as he snaked his arm around you. You two were going together to mess with the media, that’s it. Sure, Bam bought your dress and shoes and made sure you looked like total eye candy when you were with him, but it would be just the same as when Steve and Chris make out on the red carpet- it’s just for fun.

“Hey Bam! Over here!” Some reporter lady with the most egregious hair to body ratio you had ever seen beckoned him over, sticking a microphone in his face. “Who are you with tonight?” His arm around your waist pulled you a little closer, feeling the purple velvet of your dress, “Well, this sweetheart right here is my girl, Y/N. Ain’t that right?” You giggled and smiled, playing the role of a smitten girlfriend well.

What did trip you up, however, was when Bam brought his face close to yours for what you thought was going to be a kiss. Instead, he planted two little pecks on your cheekbone, before licking a hot stripe up from your jaw to your temple. “Ah!” You couldn’t help from exclaiming in surprise as he snickered, the spit rapidly cooling on your face. The lady seemed shocked, but not as shocked as you were. And just as soon as that happened, you were whisked away to the next flock of people asking for photos of you two. You whispered to him, “I swear to god, Bam- if that makes me break out after this…”

☆彡

The premier was fun and all, but Bam decided that the movie sucked and you dipped halfway though. After sneaking pas the other guests, you silently ducked out a side door in the theater, walking down an alley that was illuminated only by floodlights. He looked you up and down, the look behind his eyes unclear due to the cool sunglasses-at-night look he was sporting, “You wanna get ‘somethin to eat?” You thought of what was nearby, not wanting to chance it with the paparazzi that seemed to follow you everywhere recently, “Yeah, maybe…do you have something in mind?” The grin he gave you after your question made you a little uneasy.

Your jaw dropped when you saw where he was taking you. It was one of those romantic, fancy restaurants with lighting so low you could barely see your plate while you were eating. “Bam! This is…you- you can’t get in here without a reservation six months in advance!” He just smirked in response, not hesitating as he squeezed past the crowd of expensively dressed people, leaving you to follow him like a lost puppy. Leaning against the lectern, he smirked expectantly at the Maitre D, “Reservation for Margera?”

“I’m sorry, sir. We don’t-“ Just out of your sight, Bam palmed a couple hundreds to the tuxedo clad man. He paused, thinking for a second before nodding. “Ah, yes! Come right with me, sir.” You gawked at the lavishly decorated restaurant as you walked, Bam’s hand around yours like he thought you couldn’t keep up with him on your own.

It was beautiful- really the kind of place he would pick. You could’ve sworn you were in the castle of some medieval vampire prince as you were seated on the second floor balcony, overlooking the large dining room. Gold candle light danced off of the crystal chandelier in the center of the room, complimenting the purple velvet that was everywhere, from the upholstery on the seats to the large, draping curtains over giant windows. Everything matched, from the dark stained wood of the tables to the black jackets of the servers and the cold, metal railings you were seated near.

☆彡

You listened to Bam as he animatedly told you about his trip to Vegas he just got back in from, “Yeah, it was crazy! I mean-“ He rolled up his sleeve, showing off his most recent tattoo in the low light, “I got this done by Kat Von D.” You leaned forward to get a batter look, squinting at the design. He smirked a little, your forehead almost touching his. His voice got a little softer as he continued, “After that, me and Dunn visited the AVN Expo- had a blast.”

“What’s that?” You sat back, picking idly at your food. He seemed a little surprised at the fact that you didn’t know, his voice returning to its normal register, “You know, the porno convention.” You raised your eyebrows, your eyes widening. He chuckled at your surprise, a glint in his eye, “Yeah! There's pretty much naked chicks everywhere there! If I’m being honest, I think that’d be a great j-“ His attention was turned to the waiter who was with glasses and a bottle of wine for who knows how long, “Oh, thanks.” As he bent down to pour them, Bam paid him no mind, his smirk audible in his voice. “Anyways, as I was saying, it is a hell of a good time. Maybe next year I could get you Ron Jeremy’s autograph.” You giggled a little as the waiter fled, “That would be great! I wish I could come with you!”

“What do you mean?” Bam asked, his tone shifting as he raised an eyebrow at you. You pressed your lips together, “I mean- I'm just usually pretty busy with work. It’s not like I could just take time off.” Chuckling, he leaned back in his seat, glass of wine in hand, “Oh, sure you can’t.You have the money to go wherever you want. I go to Finland, like- three times a year!” He took a sip of his Pinot Noir, “Why don’t you go to…the Caribbean or something?” Idly picking at your food, you replied matter of factly, “Well you know people in Finland. It’s not like I have buddies in the Caribbean. I can’t even get a day off until November!”

Reaching into his pocket, he wordlessly passed you a white envelope over the purple silk tablecloth. Your head tilted to the side as you took it, opening it with your well manicured nails. Bam had an air of coolness, watching you with steepled hands as your eyes went wide. To your shock, inside the envelope were two light blue plane tickets to Westchester, Pennsylvania. The flight was tomorrow. He smiled.

★彡

It seemed that no matter what time of year it was, Westchester was cold. Your LA blood wasn’t used to the chill, forcing you to shiver against Bam, the cab’s heat blasting on you two. “I can’t believe this…” You grumbled, pulling his coat that he gave you around you. The fur on the hood felt nice against the cold back of your neck as you seethed, “My boss is gonna kill me, Bam!” He tsked, affectionately pulling an arm around you. “Oh, shut up. You know you love this.” His voice had an endearing tone as he held you close enough that you could smell him- beer and cigarettes masked under the cologne he wore to impress you. You were too cold and tired to fight, instead opting to try and sap any warmth from him and the car's air vents until you got to your destination.

The windows were steamy by the time you arrived at what he dubbed Castle Bam. You were half awake, exhausted from the long flight while he grabbed not only his but your luggage, quickly scooping you up in his arms and shutting the car door with his foot. There was no doubt you were awake now. “Ah! Bam!” He cackled as he sprinted up the driveway and into the house carrying you.

Someone sitting on the black leather couch in the living room sat up when Bam called out to him, “Hey, Dunn!” You were unceremoniously dropped into the couch, with Bam still wearing his shit-eating grin, “Meet the princess of Castle Bam!” You rubbed your eyes looking up at the stranger across from you, “Mmhm. Hi.” Nodding, he put a hand out to you, “I’m Ryan, nice to see you. God- Bam’s been talking about you nonstop.” You shook his hand and smiled back. He seemed friendly and comparatively normal next to Bam who stared holed into the back of your head with a weird look in his eye. Tossing a handful of clothes at you, he swiftly left and went upstairs, presumably to his room.

“Put these on. I have somewhere to be tonight.”

☆彡

Bam smirked, leading you through a side entrance in the venue through a packed hallway. It felt like one of those things you shouldn’t be doing, but you did it anyway. “Y/N, this guy’s probably the coolest person you’ll ever meet.“ Giving a nod to one of the security guys, Bam led you up a set of stairs, squeezing past people, giving you the rundown.“His name’s Ville Valo, and his band’s called H.I.M. Got that all?” You nodded, trying to show that you were listening. He smiled, reaching a door at the top of the stairs, “Good. Now, don’t make an idiot’a yourself.”

From how much you heard Bam fangirling about these guys, they were kinda…underwhelming looking- you expected something a little bit more Sisters of Mercy. You walked into a room of maybe five guys, just sitting around, drinking beers and waiting to get called onstage. “Hey, Ville! What’s up, man?” He plopped down onto the little floral upholstered couch someone must’ve fished out of a dumpster next to maybe the most beautiful man you had seen in your life as he shot a nod to Bam. You were beaconed over, and you squeezed in between him and the arm of the couch, practically sitting on his lap.

From the far end of the couch, Ville leaned across to you, giving you a once over with half lidded eyes. “Pleasure to meet you” His voice was gentle, with an accent that was remarkably European (though you couldn’t place exactly where- you’re a model, not an encyclopedia). He gave you a lipsticked smile as Bam turned to you while you were distracted, taking your face in his tattooed hand and gripping it hard as he suddenly pressed his face against yours. Your eyes went wide as you felt his tongue against yours, freezing like a deer in headlights. This isn't something friends do. You couldn’t figure out where your mouth ended and his began until he pulled away from the mess of flesh with a cocky grin, “LA’s finest.”

He gave Ville one of those looks that say more than words ever could. Seemingly unphased with Bam devouring you like a lion eating a gazelle on the Savannah, he laughed a little and got up, pleasantly gesturing for you to follow him, “Here. I’ll show you backstage.” And he led you down the stairs and through all these corridors, Bam still holding you close the whole time like he was afraid you were going to float away. “And this,” Ville gestured to a door that was labeled as his dressing room, “is where it all happens.” He glanced back at you, making the kind of eye contact that insinuated things. This clearly displeased Bam, him shooting a look back at him. Ville just chuckled, but before anything rash happened, someone came and got the band to bring them out onstage.

☆彡

The dark, desolate car ride home after the show was underscored by the music playing from the stereo of Bam’s orange Hummer. He had 24 CDs and about 22 of them were H.I.M. The green numbers on the stereo blurred in your vision as you squinted, trying to tell the time. You could see that it ended with ‘Am’. Sighing, you closed your eyes and let your head hit the window as the music washed over your brain like river rocks, the singer going on about his “poison girl”, whatever that means. Behind the wheel, Bam smiled, glimpsing over at you from the dashboard light. So much had been going on, and you just needed to not think too hard for a little. And you got back to the castle and headed upstairs and before you could realize it you were in his bedroom. It wasn’t too bad- his black sheets felt so nice and the room was comfortably dim, exhaustion claiming you. Friends share beds all the time anyways.

But out of the corner of your eye, you spotted something hanging out from under his mattress. You thought to yourself- he was in the bathroom, so it wasn’t like he’d notice if you snooped a little. Quietly rolling off the bed, you bent down and wiggled out the pink, papery object. Your eyes went wide as you stared at it. It was one of those celebrity tabloids- with you on it. Perplexed, you lifted the mattress up more, wondering why in the hell he’d collect this kind of thing.

Oh god. Your heart dropped. There had to be at least twenty under there. Some were from before he even met you, and others were as recent as the previous week- just tucked away down there like prison contraband. Your mind was racing so fast that you didn’t even notice the sound of the bathroom door opening as Bam walked in- not until he leaned over you and put a hand on your shoulder, making you jump. Whipping your head around, you were face to face with the fabric of his gray pajama pants and the bare skin of his stomach, close enough that you could feel his soft skin on your eyelashes as you stared at his heartagram tattoo. You still clutched one of the tabloids in your hand as you panickedly looked up at him, gesturing to your findings. “What- what’s all this…?” He sighed, kneeling down to get eye level with you.

“Y/N- Y/N. Listen.” He took one of the magazines scattered on the floor into his hands, seeming earnest as he spoke, oddly calm, “I only buy this shit cause it’s funny. I mean- they say all this ridiculous shit about us!” Flipping through one of them, your eyes scanned the pages. Everything that was written about you was…oddly sweet, endearing even. Something seemed to click in your head. He liked you- he liked you. He was trying to impress you this whole time. Silently engrossed in what you were reading, you mused “Is it really that bad…?” Bam’s eyes flitted up to yours and you almost seemed to smile as you turned it over to read the cover, “Just like Paradise…Bam Margera spotted with girlfriend, Y/N, at Venice Beach.”

You were just barely- no, less than an inch away from each other as your eyes met his. And you kissed him and it felt good- so much better than that kiss before. It was soft and sweet, in a way neither of you were really expecting it to be.

[starstruck-flames]

Please can we go see the Barbie movie?? - Villains headcanons (+ Hawks)

Dabi:

“What the fuck- why?!” “Because I want to.”

He thinks on it for a few days, he probably doesn’t want to go but… you want to, and it’s not a luxury you often have.

“I’m not wearing fucking pink.” “Okay but I am.” “Whatever. …Make sure it at least looks hot.”

You’ve got on the 90s flames somewhere on that outfit of yours. Probably showing off a bit of skin too, a nice piece of eyecandy for him while you enjoy your snacks and movie.

…Okay this is very bright.

“Do you guys ever think about death” 100% catches him off guard but he secretly loved that line.

He’s a little invested in the plot.

Mostly in your outfit tho-

He has fun! Even if it’s mostly bugging you while you’re enthralled in the movie.

Favourite character? Sasha.

Shigaraki:

He’s a liiiittle more immediately willing to see the movie. It looks funny and he’s more than willing to use “awe man my PARTNER really wanted to go” as an excuse.

You’re not getting him to match you though.

Okay fine he’ll wear ONE (1) pink accessory. Probably a pin but it’s for you, and he’s a fan of you and making you happy.

You on the other hand went FULL out, full pink, holding the gloved hand of your emo ass partner. “✨ Two tickets to the Barbie movie please! 🥰” while the poor cashier is getting death stares from your man.

It’s very bright and happy huh. Some of the jokes are lost on this man, he’s just enjoying the calmness of being at a cinema with you!

Haha Ken’s pretty funny, what a loser-

Wait.

He glances between Ken and you. Oh god.

Is he Ken?!

Though, that’s more of a paranoid thought. While you’re simply perfect and part of his life, it’s obvious he has much more of a life than just pleasing you.

He can’t help but kiss your hand during the movie, smiling towards you fondly. It’s a rare soft moment, one you don’t understand but this stupid movie and this sticky floored cinema means everything to him right now because it’s a calm with you.

(He loves Allen.)

Twice:

“BARBIE?! FUCK YEAH” “FUCK NO!”

He would be… so into this idea. He’s 100% wearing something pink. Earlier seasons? He can’t wear much due to needing to keep his head covered but he’ll work with the accessories. Later seasons? FULL PINK. Man found the cowboy hat he refuses to not wear the cowboy hat.

Unironically he loves Barbie land. Why can’t he be a sentient doll that never needs to eat or sleep and can have girls night every night?

“Wouldn’t you be a Ken?” “Nah, definitely a Barbie.” He’s your Barbie ❤️

Actively boos at the real world in the movie. Barbie is the only redeeming quality of the real world.

At first the themes of the movie go over his head completely, he’s just here for the shenanigans/snacks.

Halfway through the movie he seems to get a bit more invested. Wait- the Barbie movie has a message?!

Oh it has a message.

He’s 100% bawling at the Barbie movie.

He’s changed his mind, he loves being human and holding your hand and feeling these intense emotions towards the stupid doll movie. He loves this stupid doll movie, he won’t stop crying.

Favourite character? The Mattel board members, especially Will Ferrel’s character.

Toga:

“REALLY?? REALLY WE CAN GO? YEAAHHH BARBIE MOVIE IM STEALING THE CUTEST CLOTHES!!”

You’re perfectly matched. It’s the most coordinated set of outfits of all time.

She’s 100% snuggled into your arm regardless of relationship. She’s always wanted to go to the movies with the people she loves!

Barbie is so pretty…

Though, Toga is particularly interested in Ken and Barbie having this odd dynamic of Ken being interested and Barbie being… not so interested.

She worries that maybe her love for others is eclipsing her personality but…

Toga had learned a lot from the LOV, she’s her own person. Always growing. Being with everyone is just a bonus, a huge one.

She LIVES for all the music. I personally believe she’s a CharlieXCX fan-

Favourite character? Gloria. She’s a good, tired mom. Toga would have loved to have a mom like her!

Hawks:

He’s surprisingly agreeable to the idea of seeing it “once it comes out.”

What the dick doesn’t tell you is that he was invited to the premier, and so are you now.

He’s such a show off. He’d paid for you both to have accurate Barbie and Ken fits. It’s a complete surprise to you as you whisper into his ear that if he ever does this again? You’re stealing his credit card and fleeing the country.

Though, for now? The very fancy popcorn (in its biggest serving size) will be enough for your forgiveness.

Past the awkward encounter of dealing with the *pink* carpet, it’s a pretty regular movie date. You get a good spot, in a mostly empty cinema with plenty of snacks.

He’s not the most into this movie, but he mostly enjoys glancing over to you to see how you’re reacting to it.

That and he bought a big hot dog. Normally he’s not supposed to indulge in lower quality foods but lord, it hits a spot.

Ken’s plight is very funny to him.

He also highly appreciates the props, they just look neat.

Admittedly he’s looking at the Mattel higher ups in the movie, he knows it’s meant to be exaggerated but they remind him of the commission.

After the movie? He’s taking you home to really… really appreciate that barbie outfit he got you.

Favourite character? Weird Barbie. I won’t elaborate.

[quietwingsinthesky]

will. i saw a poll asking whether sam winchester was a rapist in french mistake. and i was like no. of course not. sam would never. but then i read the script and rewatched the scene and like. after gen kissed sam, sam took her offered hand and follower her upstairs. and im like. did they do it? did they fuck??? and then i was like (was it hot?). and just like that whole messed-up-ness of that situation. s

anyways. i request a sam winchester/french mistake genievie fic

lol yeah i dont really do rpf, even supernatural’s canon fake rpf, because i have Zero interest in any of those people. BUT. i do have thoughts on this situation. they’re very simple: No. We’re not supposed to look at the comedic scene of Jared-playing-Sam-playing-Jared going off to have sex with his real world wife as Sam being a rapist. It’s a bit ridiculous to think that, you know? Supernatural loves its sexual violence; if it wanted this to be a scene we take seriously, it would be. but this is. the silly second-hand embarrassment rpf episode.

like, on a meta level we can argue how this scene reflects negatively on the writers’ views of consent and how this sort of joke comes up pretty commonly on spn. first other instance i can think of like this is in Andy’s first episode where we see him walk away from a sexy lady’s apartment immediately after we learn how his powers work, implying he used said powers to have sex with her. In the same way that the point of that scene is not to tell you Andy is an evil predator—because again, when the show wants to tell you that, it isn’t subtle. when his brother uses his powers to hurt a woman later, it isn’t framed in a comedic way like the earlier scene is—neither is this scene with sam and french mistake!gen meant to be anything other than a ‘haha wouldn’t it be funny if sam had sex with fake ruby? who is jared’s irl wife?’

there’s just a point at which we have to accept that supernatural was a show with a heavily male-dominated staff with a history of poor writing around consent and jokes about people using deception to get sex. and this wasn’t like. a 5D play by the writers to tell us which characters were secretly evil rapists. this is them being sexist. what’s happening here is misogyny on the writer level, and choosing to instead interpret it only through the lens of fandom-esque character cancelling is a useless endeavor.

tldr; we aren’t meant to be picking up on bad vibes in this scene because the writers literally did not realize there were unintentional bad vibes. because of the sexism.

or: its a joke, and anyone butthurt about it should probably not be watching supernatural. it might be a bit advanced for their level of media analysis lmao.

sorry aksjkfjgks you wanted fic you got slightly bitchy meta instead. not bitchy at you, to be clear, but this idea lol.

[girlymatsu]

20? (First kiss)

WAAHH OK I had this partly written out a while ago and just decided to finish it for this prompt.. it’s a little bit of a downer in the beginning, hope it’s good!

“I mean… firsts aren’t too big of a deal! My first kiss wasn’t anything special at all!”

Erina waves her hand around, trying to casually comfort Osomatsu as he’s going through a childish drunken rant. They sit at a ramen bar and Erina is smiling at Osomatsu’s grumpy face leaning on his arms on the counter.

Silly Osomatsu waves his can of beer around lazily and in a bitter fashion, “Feh! Only popular socialites actually say that kinda stuff as a way to humble brag about all their experience— Have more pity on us little folk please!” Dramatically putting a hand on his chest as he laments.

“But it’s not like I’m popular or have that much experience really!” She really doesn’t, it’s really sad!

Osomatsu pouts. “You can’t say that when you’ve k-k-kissed before! Agh! Saying it is like damage inducing for virgins!” He leans so far back like he’s gonna fall over.

She playfully shoves him again for being so silly and dramatic.

“Noo really— It’s actually been so long, I don’t think it counts anymore!”

“Then who was your first kiss then huh Erina-Chan? An old boyfriend?” He squints at her with his brows furrowed leaning in close it makes her blush.

Erina gives a bit of an awkward smile as she’s fidgeting with her earring. Normally she wouldn’t talk about this to remain a little mysterious, but she wants to be honest with Osomatsu a little more. Let him in a little bit because she secretly does want him to be closer. “No! Nono haha— not at all, I’ve only ever had one boyfriend, and we weren’t together for very long, and we never kissed on the lips either..”

“Haah? who could you have kissed other than your boyfriend huh? Your friends? Randos?! Guys for money?!”

Erina widens her eyes and gives him an exasperated look, “Nonono!! Do you think I’m such a wild bad girl Osomatsu?” She tries to smile like she can take a joke, playfully shoving him like it didn’t hurt her at all that he would think that.

She might’ve been lucky or unlucky that Osomatsu couldn’t see her true emotions, he laughs off her reaction but she feels her fragile heart rattle a little. Does Osomatsu think she gets around often? Would it matter if she did? Does he think she’s so wild and alien like his brothers do and feel uncomfortable around her?

Erina sips at her drink even though she dislikes the taste of this beer, but it’s the one Ochomachu likes. They go their seperate ways amicably afterwards. Once becoming alone the noise in her head starts to come back.

When she had her first kiss, she was too little and naive to know better. Then when she grew up, she became an attention starved little monster. Maybe people would like her more if she was truly more pure-hearted. She walks along the road not realizing where she was going until she suddenly ended up home, just repeating “I’m not a bad girl… I’m not a bad girl…”

—

“Teach me how to kiss.”

“H-huh?”

The next day Osomatsu dropped in at her apartment without a prior notice. Erina sheepishly let him in, but she was just in her pajamas and didn’t have any makeup on. He takes up a lot of space on her small loveseat couch, their knees touch.

Osomatsu clears his throat, and he puts on a comically serious face. Erina doesn’t feel like he’s actually trying to make the mood less tense with his funny intense eyes.

“I need to kiss. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it the last time we talked about it— I’m kind of embarrassed to not have that experience at my age— As the eldest I have to be the first to kiss and hold hands with a girl!“ Osomatsu’s straight face breaks into a whine and shakes her shoulders. “You’re the only one I can count on Erina-chan!”

Erina can feel her whole face get warm and she feels so small when he towers over her like this. Small in a way she can’t help but like as a small animal.

“Ah… okay..! I’ll help you Osomatsu-kun..!”

-

It feels so warm…

Erina doesn’t remember her lips be this sensitive and tingly before. It’s so awkward, puckering and smacking her lips against his for longer than intended. She was so lost in the sensation that she forgot it was probably her job as the teacher to pull away. She can feel Osomatsu’s face all tense, and nervously she slowly backs up from him, guilty for losing herself in it.

Osomatsu’s eyes were still open, staring hard back at her when she opened her own eyes. Her face flushed even harder, “Was that okay..?”

Osomatsu opened his mouth to take a breath, it seems he wasn’t breathing that whole time. His gaze was unnerving and his lips quivering. Erina almost asks if something was wrong before he blurts out, “Again.”

“Again?”

She could barely reply more before his lips chase after hers again. Then it turned again, and again. Osomatsu was going to make sure Erina teaches him everything.

[vintage-bentley]

so, if it is a homophobic joke, how does that even happen? it was a weird ass situation and they Had To Kiss? we get one more longing look via michael sheen and some attempted humor and that's it for the rest of the season? with crowley's leaning in and holding aziraphale's collar like that it can't possibly be passed off as completely meaningless, at the *very* least, right? hopefully?

That’s what I’m trying to figure out. All I know is that there were a couple instances in season 1 where the joke was “haha it’s funny to think of men being in love or having sex” (a great example is the nuclear plant manager guy being in bed with another man, and it being presented as a “haha boss man is gay” joke) so I wouldn’t put it past Neil to do it again.

How that would involve A/C kissing, I don’t know. My going theory is that it’s to distract human onlookers from something…but I’m not sure that holds up.

To be honest I’m starting to sway more optimistic the more I mull over theories. Because logically, what makes the most sense, all Neilisms aside, is that it’s an actual romantic kiss.

But I’m staying cautiously optimistic, because I know Neil’s previously said he doesn’t like the idea of A/C being a thing.

[vlovers19]

“I like him as a person”… I wonder if “as a person” was put here by the editor just like RM is always adding something about “what a good friend” lmao

Idk it seems to me at least Jimin was in love or something. The dumpling incident and the way he was with Tae at that time and later… All shy, then tender, then strained a bit… ya can’t imitate that. The only alternative in my mind is that they were told to “play soulmates” narrative by company, which is honestly… a bullshit? They said no to some songs, so they would say so to something like that.

The question is was the feeling reciprocated? Because I don’t get their dynamics now at all: at times I think they look like soft type of brothers with all these stories about fights and jokes (and scenes like when they imitated a kiss while rehearsal of simple and then grimaced and smiled — that’s smth like “haha sooo funny we’d never really kiss hahaha” to me) and rumors about Tae (hard to not fall for that shit), and at times when something extremely soft happens I feel…gaslighted lmao because jeez I wouldn’t do many of the things they’ve done in 2016-2022 to my siblings, because it feels a bit cringe. There are times of this weird tension idk.

What a weirdly beautiful duo. Sry, just a pure reflection here, because I miss vmin blogs soooo much. Borahae!

Let's be honest. Some of the things in the book are changed to suit the readers. There are various people who will read the book so they would do what they can to satisfy every audiences curiosity but at the same time try to tone things down but just enough to keep you wanting more. It's what they have been doing for so long.

But I want to ask? Why do you feel like this? People have what they call a sixth sense but many choose to ignore it. A lot of people feel something's off with Jimin and Taehyung out of everyone else in the group. This weird dynamics you all are just noticing now because they are in their solo era is something I had noticed a long time ago even while they were in the group but unlike a lot of people, I don't ignore my sixth sense.

Now, we haven't seen the members gathered in one place for a long time but no one questions Jimin and Taehyung's bond with other members. Yet, question their bond with each other even when they see them being close. Even when they call each other soulmates? Even when they try to disprove the rumors around them in their own way. It's not like a full on hate against them. It's more like this boundary most of the fandom has created for them. Almost like a silent warning; we know you are soulmates and all but don't go past that. We don't want to know.

So the sixth sense about whatever might be going on about them is shut off. Most people will rather believe that they are enemies than to reason with that thought nagging at the back of their minds that something is off or weird about them.

Jimin and Taehyung both value friendships. Taehyung is known for even keeping contact with his high school friends. Jimin is more private with his friends but we all know the kind of soul he is. How selfless he is for the people he cares about. Unless a deep betrayal occurred between the two of them. Something neither can forgive each other for then such a thing can happen. Even drifting apart shouldn't be considered because Taehyung wouldn't let that happen. Looking at how close he is with Jungkook who people thought he had drifted apart from should be proof to you. Taehyung loves to mantain relationships and trust me the last person he would want to loose connection with is his fellow 95 liner from Bts who he debuted with, lived with, grew up with, had lots of memories with both the good and bad ones. He hasn't drifted apart from others. Out of everyone in his life, it's Jimin he would rather cut off ties with. Jimin!

Jimin likewise who mantains long term friendships with those close to him like Soonyoung, Taemin amongst others. Out of everyone would choose to be distant from Taehyung while still mantaining friendships with others in the group.

Why are things so different with them? What is up with the two of them? Did they date and break up? Did one of them steal the others beloved? What's with all the secrecy?

But it's none of those things because we can still see even though many choose to ignore it that they have a good rapport with each other but they won't behave like the usual friendships or the usual ship just to satisfy our cravings. They won't do vlives or post their personal pictures for our enjoyment even though they know we desperately want that. They won't let us into that world. They will keep that to themselves no matter what people say about them. Especially now when they will be entering the military, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want the attention on them.

People shouldn't bother about what they will be doing now. They should rather be interested in what happens after their military service because that to me is when the real fun begins. We will really know what's going on. For now, believe in them. Even though people don't want to see them as anything other than the friends they are but at least we should acknowledge the bond they subtly try to show and stop belittling every thing they do because they aren't showing off like typical friends do. I have said enough. Have a great day everyone and let's try to focus on our own lives as well.

[milkstoner]

Thoughts of DILF, middle aged Sebek? Since you did Silver the duo has to be complete, haha. I personally feel like he would be more of a refined, fancy old guy, maybe even embracing his human and academic side more with age? I like to think he laughs more since toboso described him as being similar to a puppy in the art book🥰 but I’d like to get your thoughts if you have the time, thank you :D

okay there’s mallesebemalle in this im sorry

Without even thinking hard about it… WOULD.

Now that this is out of the way, I need a DILF Sebe. I think he inherits half of a fey’s lifespan, so by the time Silver is 45-50 Sebek still looks quite young. Silver won’t be there to see how gracefully Sebek ages.

It’s around like, halfway through his life (i won’t give a year bc I have no idea how long the Zigvolts live lol) that he’ll need reading glasses… hot. Also, he smells so good oh my goodness. An old DILF that wears an exquisite expensive cologne yes please. Even after all those years, he takes great care of himself. Grooms himself regularly… shaves his facial hair… he’s so sexy. Still slicks back his hair, all that stuff… except he’s old now… yum

He has a loud booming laugh!!! It makes you all warm inside. His crows feet creasing when he laugh oh my … and he routinely slaps his men on the back as a friendly gesture but omg it actually hurts a lot. He’s friendly and such a sweet mentor and father figure, but when things get serious my god he gets intimidating. Strict with his men. Punishes the troublemakers with Lilia-style training. Basically, PE teacher energy. Provides surface-level emotional support, but you can tell he cares and he can tell when you don’t feel so well, so it warms you up still. Dad jokes. DAD JOKES. Not funny, super embarrassing , actually very charming. Hi gay, I’m Sebek Zigvolt LIKE SHUT UPPPPP.

Patriotic, takes pride in his fey and human sides!!! Proud of himself for going up the ranks as a half fey. His humanity is actually very attractive to the gay boys under him zhfhdgfj. Anyway, he learned to find strength in his humanity—I mean that he can somewhat predict/understand the motivations etc of a human enemy, moreso than a full fey. but! His race makes him unique and valuable to have within the ranks.

He’s all grown and he’s actually as tall as Malleus. He drinks scotch, certified dilf drink, and malleus drinks straight absinthe. (Shakily holds my mic) do we want to see dilf Sebe fuck Malleus? I’m. Oh. I’m a top Malleus girlie. Oh my. Okay, they switch. I’m sorry Malleus… oh my god Malleus I’m sorry. It’s just something irresistible about a dilf fucking a younger looking man. Malleus seeing just how much Sebek has grown, how strong he is, how casual, how sweet he is… hey Sebek is supposed to protect Malleus, and there is something submissive in being protected, right? I think I do like sebemallesebe better if Sebe is middle aged because the potential for char dev and Sebek finally loosening up and having a somewhat healthy but scandalous sexual relationship with his king is so enticing. I cannot picture our current Sebek even daring to kiss Malleus, but give him some experience and just a bit of flirting from Malleus and he’ll have no qualms about climbing into the king’s bed. Can’t deny the king!! He wouldn’t dare! He’ll be really caring with Malleus you know, until he realizes he’s inside of him and his heart starts palpitating. The passionate kisses, oh my… he’ll give his all to make Malleus feel good… like to the point of overstimulation, and that’s a lot. Malleus has to grip Sebek’s head when he comes for the umpteenth time because my, general (!!!) Zigvolt, you’re enjoying this a bit much… before savagely kissing him hmhm

The opposite dynamic is so sexy too. I want Malleus to fuck that old man into the mattress. I want them both covered in the other’s seed. I want them to fuck each other for hours. Sebek’s deep hoarse groans into the sheets please…….. I’m sorry. Both of them are such refined, sophisticated old men… I want to see them lost in desire to the point they get so dirty… OLD MAN YAOI😭😭😭😭💜💜💜💜💜💜 passionately making out in candlelight, between the shelves in the library… somebody will smell a different cologne on Malleus…