#haha not shitposting for the sake of it

[stvrxstruck]

[skill7spark04]

Belobog in a nutshell: HSR

[Stelle] "you know, March and Den Heng. I was once so bitchless that I almost considered dating a trashcan." (this is canonically something she said Im not lying) [March] "why is everyone constantly lying and backstabbing us? are we untrustworthy?!" [Literally anyone] "you were found with Sampo immediately on arrival, and nobody here can vouch for you." [March] "but still!" [Dan Heng] "... pretty flowers. a lot of books. a city that doesn't feel crowded... and I don't have to talk to anyone?" (Introvert paradise) [Bronya] "I would literally do anything for you." [Seele] "hey! that's my line!" [Everyone] "... they definately fuck." [Shampoo] "I am the best! I do only the best things, and never ever, EVER do anything wrong!" [March and Stelle] "I'd trust this man with my life." [Dan Heng] "this MF shady." [Serval] "we made a guitar together." [Stelle] "... and they were roommates." [Bronya] "my Mom can't be that evil!" [Seele and the Trailblazers] "yeah no she's a vindictive psychopath with several mental issues." [Bronya] "nuh-UH!" (several minutes later) [Bronya] "oh my god she's a vindictive psychopath with mental issues..." [Cocolia] "pathetic trailblazer. you can't defeat me." [Stelle] "I know. but that thing can." [Engine of Creation] "RULES OF NATURE!" (slam) "AND THEY RUN WHEN THE SUN COMES UP!" [everyone] "did you die" [Stelle] "sadly yes..." (draws Sword of Preservation) [Stelle] "BUT I LIVED." [Gepard] "you fuckers are breaking the law, so I am legally bound to jump your ass." [Serval] "you're stupid dumb ugly buttface and I wish I had a more reasonable brother!" (Gepard dies of emotional damage) [Clara] "I like robots. they are my family." (Dan Heng and March having flashbacks to all the machines they've destroyed) [Stelle] "cool, but I wanna go to the surface, so I need to beat up your dad."

[moe-broey]

Back to what I do best (bare minimum Putting My Guys In Situations shitposts) 😌

Inspo under cut!!!

[buubonita]

You probably already talked about him like, A LOT, but i like to hear anything about epic sans, the sad guy has a lot of potencial

Qin! Haiii!! Dw I never get tired of talking about Epic, and tumblr is the only place that seems to listen to me.

I'm not going to get tired of saying this but I'm a little fed up with how the fandom literally decided to take Epic as a meme character and not give credit to the little but at least consistent work behind the character.

Can I say that Yugo also didn't help the character by using him for constant shitposts?? I can say it, they are partly to blame too, sorry not sorry.

I'm fine if people do stupid things with the character but it gets to a point where it's irritating to see for me personally. Sometimes I feel like he's a grumpy old woman for having these ideas. When I met him and said that I liked him I remember well that an online user called me stupid for liking such a dumb character and I felt really bad for a while and I didn't want to know about Epic until I found out that Epic is another character misunderstood on a large scale by the fandom and has the bad fortune of being hated by his creator.

Anyway, to the point. I love Epic, he makes up the trinity of my favorite UTMV characters, I love his design and the tragedy of his situation. I like villains more than heroes in general, but Epic has a particular charm, I wouldn't call him a hero because the poor guy wasn't meant to save anyone, he was conceived as a tool and died as such without too many contemplations, but he tried, he died trying and that is absolutely admirable considering ALL the shit he's been through for 20 years! I don't know, he inspires me to keep going, even if his canon isn't that deep and the au he comes from is a very basic story that takes elements from anime and manga.

It's funny how different Epic is from other favorite characters I have, but that makes him even more special to me.

And I love the idea that the fandom adopts him and gives him details that enrich his character because as I said, I love him so much! <3 and he deserves better.

To wrap things up because I don't want to overwhelm you, some headcanons of my boy to share.

* Epic has taken care of Chara and Asriel, they are his nephews and he keeps a picture of them in his trench coat (often showing it to others like the proud uncle he is).

* I don't want to think of him as a creep, he's a 45 year old man for fucks sake. But eh, he definitely watches that kind of shitty H content sometimes.

* The people closest to Epic I would say are Mettaton, Papyrus and Asgore (who is supposed to be his best friend but the fandom prefers Cross haha)

* I see him as the guy who would make a cookie review blog. I also like that he does reviews of any media and a lot of ironic consumption ("Getting Drunk on Undernovela Part 157"")

* Epic's eye has lost strength over the years (particularly after Gester's death) so his regeneration process is much slower than before. His body can be completely destroyed but the eye will remain intact.

Maybe one day, the eye will stop working and give Epic his mortality back.

* Epic keeps Cross' bandana from their first meeting together (in my one shot We Must Die In Spring something like this was supposed to happen.

Cross: I like your bandana.

Epic: Thanks. I used to be a royal guard.

But it didn't quite fit ahsuahs

Also Perfect Encounter, the epictale and xtale animated crossover, is supposed to be canon for this One Shot but Perfect Encounter hasn't come out yet so I had to fill in the gap with my imagination.

God i love Cross and Epic friendship so much)

And that's all for now... thanks for asking Qin 🩷🌸

[alpacahat67]

A Very Detailed Analysis Explaining Why Asrian is Mid

Yes, I've made a shitpost summing up my thoughts on the topic before. However, I regularly get into bi-weekly complaint sessions about this terrible, horrible ship.

I am willing to be burnt at the stake if it means I will be a martyr against Dorian... (I'm joking. This is Tumblr. It's not that serious.)

Under the cut is a lot of words! Be prepared

By the way all of this is Dorian's fault GIVE ME MODERN ARCANA I WILL REWRITE IT

I want to preface this by saying my opinions on the ship come off as very mixed? At least in my head. My problem is obviously more with the fandom than how it's portrayed in the actual game, as you will see. Unfortunately, it's just what happens in fandom. Asra x Julian fits the perfect mold for a potentially popular ship. Two masc-presenting people with a tragic story, yeah cool.

I don't care about people making art or writing about them. I actually think Asra and Julian have an interesting dynamic and I enjoy a lot of their in-game interactions. Here's the thing, and my thesis statement for this post, most of the fanworks surrounding these two that I see in the wild are using the dynamic for the wrong reasons! Furthermore, for Asrian to work out and genuinely last a while, you have to mischaracterize one or both of the characters.

I think that this stems from a misunderstanding of the characters and the circumstances under which their situationship (they didn't have a relationship, I'll get into that soon) sparked. Dorian's pushing of content including the two in a romantic or suggestive context does not help matters.

I think a good example of this was under the original shitpost I made about the topic. I won't put this user on blast because I don't recall their URL, and if you find it do not be mean to them. I had called Asrian one-sided. I do sort of agree now, Asra x Julian is not one-sided. However, one party sure as hell does not reciprocate the feelings as much as the other party does! Here's the thing, Asra and Julian's relationship was born from grief for the death of the apprentice on both sides. However you want to interpret Julian's relationship with the apprentice, it's clear that he had some interest in Asra following their death. But we can see very, very clearly in literally every scene involving Asra speaking to or about Julian, Asra didn't feel the same. Asra loved the apprentice through and through. Asra gave the apprentice half his heart for fuck's sake!

I don't want to say Asra was using Julian, or vice versa. But the other was a distraction from everything going on in their lives, from the apprentice's death to the plague. Hence, situationship. Although I do think there was romantic intention on Julian's end, chances are it fizzled out during the three-year interlude.

It's a very tragic dynamic and I do enjoy it! They drive me INSANE! It's just... a lot of people willfully ignore that. A lot of people ignore that they both have problems they haven't addressed that more than just some kisses will solve, both internally and with one another. And when you ignore that...

...You mischaracterize them. Haha, like my segue? Unfortunately, the best ending for those two is in Muriel's route. Which, as far as we know, the two didn't... ever seriously sit down and have a talk. Which is what they need to do. In order for those two to work out, they need to have a serious, long talk about where they went wrong in the past and what they can do to do better.

Do you wanna know something about those two characters? NEITHER OF THEM WOULD BE WILLING TO HAVE THAT DISCUSSION! Furthermore, their personalities in a lot of media I see (cough cough mostly from Dorian) are completely wrong! I love a morally gray character very much, people tend to erase that from Asra and only make him mischievous if not straight-up an asshole, or very cute and loving, as if the point of morally grey isn't a very confusing middle. I mostly see Julian being characterized as pathetic. Yes, he is my pathetic little wet cat sometimes, but he is smart. He's a doctor. Not only that, he was a battlefield medic at what we can only assume is a pretty young age. Julian has issues but he can handle himself.

I have a lot more I can say on the topic. In short, a doomed relationship where they just have to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't the right time or the right person is much more interesting to read than a perfect one where you get your happy ending. I understand the appeal, but if you want to write them being cute and happy together, I implore you to just... make an au. That is not fixing itself. They both need to be medicated.

[barbatusart]

hello new folks coming in from the music posts (which is baffling to me haha) welcome aboard! PLEASE before you remain following a couple of things you should know:

- right now im like balls deep in baldur’s gate 3 so anticipate a fair amount of shitposting & prelim pages of a fancomic called De Rerum Natura (linked in full for your browsing enjoyment if you’re interested, 75ish pages so far with heavy act3 spoilers)

- my main bread & butter is pretty intense body horror & gore. the more extreme things i do tag with gore w, but typically they’re only tagged for & not under a cut. (unless the post in question is related to an existing intellectual property, then itll be placed under a cut for the sake of tag browsers) please have your tag mute function ready if you want to remain following but don’t want to be smacked in the face with that kind of material!

- i am an adult man in my mid 30s. while tumblr has banned pornography i still consider what im able to post on here to be adult material; that & from time to time i link to pornography ive drawn whenever the mood strikes me. as such, i am not comfortable with anyone under the age of 18 following this blog, and i would deeply appreciate it if you would please unfollow asap if you are a minor. thank you for respecting my wishes on this matter.

please feel free to unfollow for any reason if any of the above is not something you want to come across! i take no offense lol; im of the opinion that everybody should curate their online experience for the most enjoyable browsing possible. if you would prefer to stick around, i thank you for your time & hope the things i do can entertain you!

[hazmatmaid]

OC RAMBLE INCOMING:

I’m going to be completely honest here: the whole happy ending I’ve written up for Spamton? The one with the wife and Shirley and “redemption” of some sort? It all started as a joke. A shitpost. A funni haha.

But somehow—rather early on, in fact—it willed itself to be genuine. And for the past three years, it’s given me life. I love the little slice-of-life plots that I’ll place them in. The life of hardship Spamton had endured is now just a bad memory he can tell his daughter he overcame. His wife is there for him after a bad day (and vice versa). And despite this “happy ending,” they still struggle a bit because of their past damage.

Really, it kills me to be vague about it for the sake of spoilers, since there is a story that’s supposed to earn and build up to it all.

[kalimonsterrr]

✧˚₊‧Introduction Post ‧₊˚✧

Welcome to my Blog 🐝₊˚⊹｡.

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ₊˚⊹♡

My name is Kali! But yall can call me Kaye. If you're seeing this blog, you've probably gotten lost in the middle of nowhere, Tumblr, USA. Have no fear, I'm happy to have guests and keep you company.

I'm 30 years old, with she/her pronouns. I am an incurably straight demisexual I'm from Southern West Virginia, though I lived in central PA for 10 years but I'm happy to be back home. I am happily engaged to someone who was my friend since back in my teenage days, where we met on a deviantart rp chatroom of all places! (Ugh, God) And together we have the strangest, funniest, cutest pup on this side of the east coast. ♡

I'm an avid fan of anime, books, and videogames, very particularly cozy games but I just enjoy playing games with my friends in general. From time to time you can also catch me posting my art (usually self-insert OC trash, or just regular OC art or anything I can think of really), or posting snippets from bits of books I'm very, very slowly working my way through.

I made this blog mostly for shitposting, memes, seeing art and in general just enjoying myself. I hope to make friends and maybe end up becoming part of a community! My DMs are open to anyone who wants to be pals, or even just wants anyone to talk to. I make a point to encourage and push my friends to the best versions of themselves they can possibly be and I hope to get to know you. (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Have the day you deserve. ⁺₊⋆ ☀︎

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚♡

୨୧┇ Fandoms┇ Hunger Games, Anything by Holly Black and Leigh Bardugo, Sailor Moon, Fruits Basket, Demon Slayer, JJK, Hell's Paradise, Soul Eater, Arcane, ACOTAR, Harry Potter (eff Rowling tho), Junji Ito, Spy Family, Ranma 1/2, Madoka Magicka -- Many Many More I'm sure haha

୨୧ ┇Games┇League of Legends (unfortunately), Legend of Zelda, Stardew Valley, Graveyard Keeper, Reka, Travellers Rest, Lethal Company, Potion Permit, Undertale, Coffee Talk, Slay the Princess, Infinity Nikki, Dragon Age, most Nintendo Mario based games, and again, many more.

୨୧┇Likes┇Food, hiking, cosplaying, writing, roleplaying, dungeons and dragons, taking photos, casting spells, reading tarot

୨୧┇Dislikes┇ Unnecessary meanness, coconut, anything slimy (I will puke), laziness, hateful behavior, arguing for arguing's sake.

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧

Do not interact if you are: a pornbot, pedophile, pro shipper, racist, transphobe, homophobe, or just an asshole in general. Thanks .°˖✧

[sosoribro]

okay fiiine have shitty will wood smirk shitpost doodle fiiiiiiiiiine i literally only made this for the sake of drawing the haha funny meme i really just wanted it to remotely resemble said funny meme

you know im really not sure how well will wood translates into my art style its very gooby and it looks like it would make a squeaky noise if you squeezed its head

[spidermailed]

So, like, gender, right?

Yeah so sorry gonna infodump/rant again. Haha. Buckle in for this one folks, it's a doozy!

So lately in my therapy I've been talking about my experiences being a transmale. You know, the usual - Getting screamed at in the boxers isle, the joy of being called my preferred pronouns, the fact that the only two holidays about trans people are remembering our dead and asking society to acknowledge us? Yeah, stuff like that.

And It's uncovered something that I feel kinda like talking about, so, to the blog I go.

I'm a pre-T trans guy. I'm in highschool, though I kinda look like I'm younger. And I dress to pass, usually. Even though my voice is pretty high, sometimes I'll actually be, like, seen as male by strangers. And it's pretty cool.

Until you start to notice the fact that the only reason you can *tell* they see you as male, is because their treating you differently.

Women move out of my way when I'm walking in the hallways (which has caused me to accidently bump into them when I move out of the way myself), sometimes a random guy will give me that... Stupid goddamned bro-nod, or, probably most blaringly, I don't get catcalled. I live in damn New York, and in a .. Rustier area, for hell's sake. Usually I can't take a step out my door before some drunk guy starts begging me for some 15-year-old ass.

And it gets uncomfortable, really really fast. Sometimes It's made me question if I even identify as male at a core, because I'm so uncomfortable with it. I don't *like* being seen this way.

And when I started to talk about this experience is when I realized that no one has a goddamned clue about what I'm on about.

And that shocked me at first, but upon further thinking, it makes sense.

Most of the people in my life are cisgender. They've never had the experience of changing their presentation entirely, of being able to see what life is like in our culture for The Other Gender. If your born with genitals shaped one way, you wear a dress. If not, you wear one of those baby shirts that has the monster trucks and fire and ... stuff. And people treat you accordingly.

So of course they wouldn't understand.

And that discovery was so damning.

I don't think I have ever been so outraged at the world as the moment I understood what was happening. And I'm going to be honest, I have never met a cisgender man who *didnt* behave in this way. (Yes, that includes cisgender gay men.) And they don't even realize usually that their doing it. Because of course they don't.

Their not trans. This is purely just a trans experience.

Anyway. Let me know your thoughts on this one. This is kind of more personal then the usual shitpost-esk stuff I write, but I felt it might comfort some or open interesting conversation.

[dcviated]

bear chats about stuff :: open

@babelmedicus sent: 1. long threads

You've got two kinds of long threads. On the one hand they can be long in post length, or long in duration length. And though I still could never see myself writing one-liners beyond a few shitposts I do find myself less inclined to write novella nowadays unless it's warranted. One of the best things I've done is to stop using word count tools all the time to see if I'm "making the cut" compared to my partner.

I write what I need to to move things along and get proper emotions across. And that's what I do!

Can novella still happen? Sure. But it'll be something organic instead of writing length for the sake of writing length. Especially in threads that are basically conversation or banter. Too much length can lead to confusion and weird looping or time paradoxes of conversation topic. It gets to be a mess and I lose track haha.

It'll be what it'll be. And as it stands I think my partners are content with how much I'm putting out? Nobody's been complaining as far as I'm aware...

On the duration front. I love long plots! I love things coming together and piecing together a long narrative that goes through bits and arcs. Doesn't have to be one continuous thread but nobody says it can't be, right? I doubt I'll ever get to the 200+ note stuff I did back a decade ago almost, but I've hit 30+ now and then.

Long lengths, long duration, long time... I invest for years. B) Literally!

[creepywolfgirl666]

Blackjack when the when you the when-

Original (a friend on discord @sowndragon ((this them)) sent a pic saying that this is blackjack and they thought it was funny, so I took advantage):

[starscreamingg]

I have a partner but in less of a romantic sense. More of a yee haw sense if you get what I mean.

[beware-of-you-98]

I LITERALLT FUCKING QUIT OH MY GOD

[dodgefred]

what personality? I can't remember anything else from canon

being a slut is only one of his personality traits. he has five

slutty

lazy but still smart

wears glasses

likes true crime

otto

[depressed-shinnie]

Joe and Ryoko go on a date to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria

Shitpost Fic Requested by @kidfoundonstreets 

Joe stood outside of the Pizzeria, nervously fidgeting with his jacket. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous, this wasn’t nearly their first date, but his heart was racing all the same. He tried to rationalize it in his head, thinking things like, “Ryoko would never be disappointed in what I did for her, she’s cool like that!”, or, “Oh no… what if I’m underdressed?”, and even, “Oh god… what if I’m overdressed?!” Joe sighed, looking at the building behind him to try and keep his mind off of everything. It seemed like an old-fashioned pizzeria, in some sense. Ranmaru had recommended it to him, saying that it had a “pretty sweet theme”, whatever that was supposed to mean. 

“What if Ryoko doesn’t like it? No, that’s crazy, Ryoko loves food!! So she will have to love this place… right…?” Joe started muttering to himself, pacing lightly. She wasn’t supposed to be here for another five minutes, but he couldn’t stop watching the cars pass in hopes that she would be in one. He stopped pacing and sat down on the curb, trying to stop his racing thoughts. All in all, he was still in shock that Ryoko agreed to their first date, awhile ago. He could have sworn that she was so far out of his league!! Yet, she still agreed, and has been everything he could have ever hoped for. He smiled to himself, thinking about how much fun they had together. He tried to ignore a smaller voice in his head, shouting at him that she didn’t even like him.

“Jeez, is the sidewalk really that interesting, Joe?”

Joe shot up, getting startled out of his thoughts.

“Ha!! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you…” Ryoko smiled down at him, suppressing laughter from his shocked expression.  

“Gah… it’s fine!! You look… really nice…” Joe stood up, brushing off his clothes from sitting on the ground.

“Aww, thank you!! You don’t look so bad yourself, Tazuna.” 

“Heehee…”

Ryoko looked around, setting eyes on the large building in front of her. 

“Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, huh? Hmm… good choice!! I haven’t had pizza in awhile, anyways.”

Joe let out a sigh of relief. He knew she would like it!! 

“Well… shall we?” Ryoko offered out her hand to Joe, which he (albeit while being rather flustered) took.

“W-We shall!!”

The couple walked into the restaurant together, hands in twined. Joe couldn’t stop looking over at Ryoko while they walked, so much so that he almost tripped on a rock in his way. Ryoko found herself stealing glimpses of Joe also, smiling to herself about how even in more formal attire he still kept the dog that Sara gave him in his jacket pocket. She was still surprised that he asked her on a date, she’d been pining over him for quite some time before it seems that he caught on, but it still took her by surprise. 

“Table for two?” A tired waiter asked, barely even glancing up at the two.

“Oh- yes, thank you.” Ryoko smiled over at Joe while speaking. 

The waiter nodded and lead the two to a table closer to the back. Ryoko was glad for that, there was a lot of children up front, next to the stage. She looked up, closer to the stage, and saw four animal-robots singing songs.

“Guh… what’re those things…?” Joe looked lightly horrified by the animatronics, mainly looking at the large anthropomorphic bear in the front.

“I think they’re cool. I mean, how often have you gotten to eat a butt load of pizza and listen to some freaky robots sing, huh?” Ryoko said, sitting down across from Joe.

“Do you really think they’re cool? D-Don’t get me wrong!! If you think they’re cool, they are, but-!”

“Haha, it’s fine if you don’t like the robots, Joe. You don’t have to pretend to like them for my sake.”

“Oh, thank god… They’re horrifying!! That bear is staring at me, Ryoko… staring at me!!”

Ryoko laughed, narrowing her eyes at Joe.

“Wha- Ryoko!! I’m being serious!!”

“I-I know, I’m sorry, but… he’s just a robot bear, Joe! Ooh, you think that that’s Freddy Fazbear?”

“This is his restaurant?! Oh no…”

“Here, pick out what you want, when the waiter comes over I’ll ask them about the bear.”

Joe shook his head, looking away from Freddy to start flipping through his menu. Ryoko suppressed a chuckle, she wasn’t sure why her boyfriend was so worried about the stupid animatronic bear. The waiter walked over to the pair, holding a notepad. 

“Hello, welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, home of Freddy Fazbear and his band mates. How are you folks today.”

“Oh, we-” Ryoko started.

“Fantastic, what can I get you two.”

“Can I get the Supreme Ultra-does that say Faz-tastic? Uh- Pizza Deluxe with extra toppings, please?”

“Alright, anything for you, sir?”

“U-Uh, a water?”

“Okay. That’ll be out in 20 minutes. Please enjoy the show until then, and have…” The waiter sighed defeatedly. “Have a faz-tastic day.”

“The water will take 20 minutes too…? H-Hold on just a second! I have a question!” Ryoko called out after the waiter.

“Ryoko, maybe we should just let them be-” Joe reached a hand out to try and stop her from harassing this poor underpaid worker for information on robot animals, but she continued forward. 

 “What’s with the weird bear thing? Is he like… a puppet kinda thing? Remote control? Is he evil? Does he attack people?!” She got more excited with each thing she said, whereas Joe’s horror grew with each sentence.

The waiter sighed, looking at her with dead, empty eyes. When they spoke, it sounded like they were reading directly off of a script.

“Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria’s main attraction, Freddy Fazbear, is an animatronic bear who’s goal is to entertain children of all ages. His band mates, Chica the Chicken and Bonnie the Bunny, can be seen performing next to him. One more member is Foxy the Fox in Pirate’s Cove, but he is currently out of order, so please do not attempt to engage with him. Anything else, miss?” “…Hmm… you sure they aren’t possessed or something?”

“No, the animatronics here at Freddy Fazbear’s are not haunted.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Ryoko- uh, thank you waiter! You’re good!!”

The waiter nodded blankly to Joe and walked off. 

“What? We got some good information out of them!! I wanna go on stage with ‘em.” Ryoko turned back over to Joe, looking confused.

“Well, yeah, but- oh, whatever. …Hey, you think we’re allowed to go on stage with those… things?” 

“I mean… I don’t see anything telling us not to… but do you really want to go up there with them? I think I’d be cool as hell, but if you don’t wanna-”

“No!! I’m… totally down for this! It’ll be… awesome…” Joe gulped, trying to muster up the confidence to go up there and show his girlfriend that he can be cool. Ryoko raised an eyebrow at him.

“…You clearly don’t want to go up there, Joe. You really don’t have to, you know. Look- if you’re that dead set on it, I’ll come with you! It’s not like the staff here will try and stop us…”

Joe took a deep breath in, and stood up. 

“A…Alright, let’s do this!!”

“Hahaha, hell yeah!! …Just remember, you can back down at any point and it’ll all be okay, alright?” Ryoko stood up, pushing her chair out and leaving it there. 

“…Yeah…” Joe’s still horrified, but he was determined to do something for Ryoko. He wanted to prove to her that he really cares about her and her interests, even if it means stand on a stage in front of a sea of yelling children next to a horrific robo bear. 

“Could we…uh… y-you know!! Um…” Joe looked over at Ryoko, extending his hand slightly. Ryoko laughed, taking his hand and smiling. With this new surge of confidence filling his head, Joe walked forward towards the stage with Ryoko right behind him. They walked around all of the children, most of which have started watching the two with odd curiosity, wondering if he would go up to Freddy and sing with him. At the edge of the stage, Joe stopped, looking up at the bear. 

“U-Ugh… he’s… a lot bigger than I thought…” Joe looked up at Freddy warily, scooting closer to Ryoko. 

“Huh, you’re right! Oh- sorry, that’s not a good thing, uh… You don’t have to go up with me, you know. I can do it by myself if you’ll watch!!”

“No!! It… it won’t be right then!”

“…What do you mean?”

“I just… I don’t know, I just wanted you to be happy during this…I…”

“Joe, I-”

“What if I can’t do it, Ryoko?!”

“I already said, you don’t have to come up with me on stage!”

“No, no… I… what if I’m not cut out to be in a relationship with you? What if I’m not good enough, Ryoko…”

“Of course you’re good enough!! Look at all this, Joe! You took me here because you thought I’d like it, hell, you even walked over here to an animatronic you hate because I like it, Joe… I could never ask for a boyfriend that’s better than you, because that’s not even possible! You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, okay…? Now, if I make you cry, I might have to extend our deal to Sara, then she’d have to punch me!! Do you know how hard she punches?!”

“H..hahahaha… you’re right… Sara hits really hard… Thanks, Ryoko…”

“Don’t worry about it, okay? Do you want to go back to the table now and wait for our pizza? It’ll be faz-tastic!”

“N-No… I want to go on the stage. With you.”

“…W-What? Are you sure?!”

“Yeah… for some reason, when I’m standing with you… he doesn’t look so scary.” Joe squeezed Ryoko’s hand, and they both stepped onto the stage. Together.

Then Joe got offended at Freddy because Freddy called him short and ended up pushing him over off the stage, effectively breaking the animatronic. Maybe freeing the spirit but Joe and Ryoko aren’t the brightest, they wouldn’t know that. Then they get chased out of the restaurant by the very tired waiter and are now banned for life. It’s the best date they’ve ever had and they often retell the tail to Sara and Ranmaru.