#haha I have something called word association jukebox

[nezu-spiketown]

He laughed genuinely as she sounded so like him that he couldn’t help finding it brilliant.

“That’s about right. Why not? I sing m’trainer commands too, why not as reactions too? Hah! Brilliant!”

“You’re right, we do all end up in a position t’ benefit from a good friend lettin’ ya vent. Still, it’s appreciated, Mia, an’ I wanted ya t’know it.”

He put a hand on her shoulder, giving a subtle smile to her.

“You’re a good friend.”

“People like t’say “Oh Nezu ya need t’ make friends”, or “I’m your friend”, or kitsch shite like “friends are found family”, but don’t understand that some ‘a’ us got real issues.

We aren’t perfect over here, mate.

Not by a long shot.

Imma collection of problems an’ trauma, so either you’re cool with it or you’re not. I can’t be anythin’ but me. Take it or leave it. It’s why imma loner, ya feel?

Pffft.

I do m’best but what can ya expect? Imma dark type. We get quiet an’ isolatory from time t’time.

Learn t’trust th’ “relationship” an’ enjoy th’ silence. Trust I’m not as bad as I can be or wanna be sometimes. I just need m’space an’ m’solitude ya feel? It’s part a’ m’creatve process. It isn’t personal. I got no hate in me, an’ I always come back around after a few days or so. I’m loyal to th’ bone, just not extroverted. Be chill.”

[meditatemoremedicateless]

Dear Kate, (There are Pieces of you everywhere there used to be Me)

Fandom: Life is Strange

Pairings: Chasemarsh, Ambermarsh

Major Tags: Angst, possession

Words: ~ 3,200

Summary: Kate Marsh wins the Everyday Heroes Contest. She never entered.

Kate hadn't realized Mr. Jefferson was at the party until she heard the wave of sharp feedback cut through the Blackwell pool, followed by everyone suddenly cheering. But there he was, recoiling from the microphone he had just turned on until it settled down, at which point his laugh could be heard over it.

Max nudged Kate's side as if she wasn't already looking, while Luke just sat forward in his seat to get a better look.

"Okay, everybody calm down."

Of course, they did the opposite as everyone started yelling and whistling, making it almost impossible to hear him, nevermind command their attention.

"Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. I don't want to get in the way of the party," he made a quick, pointed glance backstage - Kate could only imagine what he might be looking at -, "but it's time to announce the winner of the 'Everyday Heroes' contest."

Everyone started to quiet down a little, and Max started to twitch excitedly. Kate knew entering a photograph had been a big deal for her - she'd ripped up her original entry and only gotten a new one in recently, and she'd loved it.

"Before I do, I want to thank everybody who entered their photograph this year."

As if on cue, girls from around the pool started to whoop and cat call Mr. Jefferson, but he just laughed it off and continued. "Now this is the most important step in being an artist - sharing your work with the world." Max nodded along - she reminded Kate of someone hearing a sermon that went straight to the heart. It was just normal teacher stuff, but, well, Max was cute in that way.

Meanwhile, Luke just rolled his eyes.

"All of you represent Blackwell Academy and everything our school stands for. As far as I'm concerned, you're all Everyday Heroes."

"More like Everyday Monsters," Luke joked quietly.

Max snickered. Kate silently agreed.

Jefferson pivoted, looking back at the DJ. "The envelope - please."

He's so dramatic all the time. Doesn't he get tired of-

"And the winner is . . ." he peeked down at the envelope. Max snorted, but also scooched to the edge of the bench. She was on edge, literally.

"Oh my, what a shocker." He looked up over the crowd and announced, "Kate Marsh!"

"OH MY GOD!!" Max yelled the loudest she'd ever yelled in front of Kate. There was a slight delay, but some cheering and clapping followed suit.

Meanwhile, Kate just sat there with her mouth open. "Wait . . . what . . .?"

Luke shot her a look to let her know he wasn't impressed with her humble performance. "You won, you goon."

That doesn't make any sense.

"But I didn't even enter a ph- fuck."

It's true, she hadn't. But she had gotten a message that read, 'Dear Kate,' that said otherwise.

Now that the cheering was dying down a little, Jefferson spoke again: "Congratulations, Kate! Want to get up here and say something about your photo?"

The noise died down almost immediately to let her speak, and she desperately wished it hadn't. Max was looking at her. Luke was looking at her. Warren and Brooke and Courtney over next to the drinks were all looking at her. She got the sinking suspicion she might pass out - which, given how her life was going, might be the best solution for what was happening.

Kate stood up, and, as loud as she could, replied, "Uh, no thanks!"

Jefferson laughed, but Kate's peers were less amused - with the exception of Luke, who had to cover his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing, too.

"Typical Kate humility, everybody. But don't worry, I'm sure she'll have something more to say tomorrow. We'll be showing Kate's photo before she heads off tomorrow at 9:00am in my class, so if you want to stop by and give Kate congratulations - and you should - or look at the prints gallery we'll have set up tomorrow, you'll have to wake up a little early. Now, you kids have fun."

He tapped the button on the mic, handed it off, and left.

I'm going to kill her.

Dear Katie,

Congratulations! You won the Everyday Heroes contest. I looked through your photography folder to try and figure out which one you entered, but I couldn't really tell which one - they're all so good! You're a really talented photographer, I wish you'd told me sooner.

I hope you'll be the one to wake up tomorrow morning so you can accept the award and fly down to SF with Mr. Jefferson. If you are, I think he wants you to say something at the awarding - which is at 9:00am tomorrow in the Photography room.

I don't know if it's you or Max who is friends with Luke, but we hung out a little today at the party. He seems nice but also kind of mean. I think he means well.

In regards to your offer to set up a Her profile for me, please don't. I'm not sure how I feel about dating in high school to be honest, and doing that I think suggests I have clearer ideas about myself than I really do. Plus, what if someone from school is on there and tells someone? I don't think apps like that have chastity vows in mind. I don't need more people thinking I'm weird, so just, please don't. If you make an account for yourself, please try not associate it with me.

I think Stella has been avoiding me. Do you know what's going on? I've barely seen her this year. Alyssa hasn't seen much of her either.

Also, I know you think Max and I should get closer, but I don't think that's a good idea. Max likes to be close to me and I think it's too much for me. Please don't lead her on about me, I don't want to stop being friends with her.

Please be advised: I'm lactose intolerant. I found your bags of Hot Cheetos in my drawer, but being vegan -> lactose intolerance -> please don't eat dairy products. I'm glad you haven't been eating meat, but I think that is probably what's been making us sick.

I've started a period calendar on my phone. My cycle's pretty inconsistent but JUST IN CASE it starts this weekend I'm packing you pads for the trip.

I found that you texted Mom about my doctor - what's wrong? My doctor's Dr. Zimmerman in Tillamook, you can look him up online and set up an appointment if you need to.

If you get to go to SF, tell me everything.

I hope you are well,

Kate

Unfortunately, Katie was not the one who woke up Friday morning at 6:25, she was not the one who had to give a stumbling acceptance speech when her photograph was unwrapped and shown to her, she was not the one who was told that she'd be leaving with Mr. Jefferson for the airport at 10:30. The picture was beautiful, of course - it was the interior of the Two Whales diner, at just an angle so that the entire bar was visible. Most of the people there were truckers and other regulars, but there was also a police officer clearly present, Preston, the former dockworker-turned environmental advocate, and, behind all of them, standing next to the jukebox, there was a tall, lanky girl with blue hair hugging a waitress who still had a tray in her hand. Her mother, Kate guessed. Of course, while that was all pretty clear, the shot was taken to include an out-of-focus poster that took up the middle-right. Kate hadn't noticed it when she'd just been looking at the jpeg, but once she had a chance to look at the print, she realized it was a poster about the use of prison labor to fight forest fires in California. She thought it might have been unintentional, until she realized that the fire referenced in the poster ended in 2011 - she managed to find a copy of the poster online later with minimal effort.

Katie, as it turned out, was a lover of irony.

It wasn't until they were after security at the airport that Kate got a text she hadn't been expecting.

Unknown: Congrats on the win

Before she could ask 'who is this?,' she got a second message.

Unknown: You're a better photographer than I realized. Don't get cocky though, I'll get you next time.

Kate did her best to text while walking, but she was terrible at it, and Jefferson just slowed down with a bemused smile and a glance at his watch.

Kate: Who is this? Sorry, I don't have your number.

Unknown: It's Victoria. We all switched numbers the first day of Photography, remember?

Kate: Oh right. My bad, I hadn't created a contact for you. Kate: But yeah, I was surprised! I'm sure you'll beat me next time too, haha :)

She added the contact info and put her phone away so she could speed up again. She felt her phone buzz again immediately, but ignored it until they were at the terminal.

Victoria: real cute Victoria: Learn to banter, Katie, it'll make this more fun in the future

Kate smiled. Teasing and outright bullying from Victoria had the same tone, the teasing just didn't sting on the level of personal shame and insecurity.

Kate: Oh are we bantering? Here I was thinking I was having a run-in with my first fan.

This time, the '...' stayed around a bit longer, but the wait was nevertheless rewarding.

Victoria: Touché Victoria: Have fun in SF. I hear it's pretty gay there this time of year.

That actually made Kate feel less comfortable, but at least she knew Victoria was, for once, trying to be nice. Maybe one-upping her really was the way to get her to stop being mean. She'd have to start writing witty comebacks with Max sometime soon.

Kate kept her laptop on her lap during the flight so she could check out Katie's photographs some more, studying them in detail. After looking over the big print, she had the feeling that if she could just figure out what gave her pictures their wit, their two-steps-ahead quality, then maybe Kate could approach her own work like that. After all, Katie was using her eyes, her hands, her brain, her camera to make these images, wasn't she? So Kate must be capable of the same.

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I remember you saying your passion is painting, isn't that right?"

Kate's ears felt warm as she realized what this must look like. She slowly turned towards Mr. Jefferson with a warm, albeit fake smile. "Oh, yeah, of course! I just . . . uh . . . I can't help but second-guess myself. Bad habit."

She closed the laptop as Mr. Jefferson laughed quietly.

"Now, there's no need to be embarrassed," he said, scooting back to sit more upright in his seat. "I just didn't realize what a dedicated photographer you were when you first joined my class. You play an instrument too, don't you?"

Kate nodded. This was getting uncomfortable - not that her skills outside of photographer were less legitimate, really, as not liking the attention.

"Violin and piano," she replied.

"And what do you want to do after this, Blackwell Academy? Going to study art?"

Kate shook her head. "No, actually, I'm applying to be an English major. I'm also interested in journalism but I feel like switching from journalism to English will be harder than English to journalism, so . . ."

He looked amused, but quite pleased. "My, my, you're quite the all-star."

Kate hadn't realized she had shared so little about her academic interests during her time as Mr. Jefferson's assistant. Admittedly, sometimes it wasn't even her working with him, but most of their conversations started with some polite conversation and questions about her friends and life around school, followed by an hour of him prattling on about his work abroad. Not that she minded, really, but her keen interest in the life of a celebrity photographer had waned after about a week of it. There was nothing that made something quite so mundane as constant exposure to it.

"Thanks," she replied, and turned her attention out the window to California.

"You know," he started, shuffling around in his seat again, "You remind me of a former student."

Kate looked back at him now, curious. It's not like he'd been teaching very long - who could he possibly remind her of?

"Rachel was very multifaceted in her talents and interests as well. She was a gifted photographer, of course, but oh, she wouldn't have any of my suggestions to pursue it. She wanted to be a legal scholar, and started modeling in our very own little Arcadia Bay."

Kate nodded, looking back towards the window. "She was probably going to be valedictorian, too. I guess . . . that'll probably be Warren now."

There was a short pause while Kate let herself wonder where Rachel was and what could have happened to her. Then, Mr. Jefferson said, "I take it you knew her?"

"Yeah," she replied. "Up until the end of last year, it was the three of us still in the running - me and her and Warren. But . . . she hasn't come back, and I'm getting a C in physics, so."

No one had ever compared her to Rachel before, and she'd never had a reason to, either. They had been from different worlds that the other could not understand, and Kate, for all of Rachel's charisma, could not hold a conversation with her. Warren was easy to get along with, so long as you could take not understanding the pop culture references shooting out of his mouth every five seconds. Rachel was . . . well, whatever she was, Kate hadn't figured it out, and with her gone, it didn't look like she was about to.

All of a sudden, as Kate caught her reflection in the window, she felt a wave of sadness. Where are you, Rachel? I know someone here misses you.

"I wish . . . Rachel were back," Kate mumbled.

Mr. Jefferson seemed to hear, though. He let out a sigh and reclined his seat as well as he could. "As do we all," he said.

But, for some reason, Kate didn't believe him.

Dear Katie,

I'm sorry you missed the Everyday Heroes awards. This was your big day and I feel like I stole it from you. But, don't worry - I'm recording the information of everyone I met who was interested in your photography so you can give them a call if you want. I really liked your photograph - Evan had a lot of critique of it I didn't really understand but I'm pretty sure he liked it. I missed doing homework Friday, though, so if you wake up this weekend please take a look at the planner so we don't fall any more behind.

Also, I'm sure you've seen the posters, but there's a girl who used to go here named Rachel Amber. It's so weird to try and describe what the school was like with her here because I transferred here, but, to me, Blackwell feels like Blackwell minus Rachel. Back when Rachel was here, Victoria wasn't half so bad to anyone because she was so busy trying to get at Rachel. I didn't even share with any classes with Victoria then and I'd still hear about the stuff she'd pull. But let's just suffice it to say that Rachel was a golden child. You can tell how perfect she was by the number of people who try and talk mean about her with graffiti and stuff - even people who didn't like her seemed obsessed with her.

Anyway, Rachel disappeared at the end of last year. She still had another year to go, (another month, too), but one day she was just gone. Some people told me she used to deal drugs and she might have gotten hurt because of that. She's probably fine - basically everyone thinks she just packed up and left one day - but, I don't know, I just wish I knew what happened to her. I really have missed her the past couple of days, even though we were never friends. If you ever find something out, tell me about it, would you? I wish I knew she was OK.

I saw on Amazon that you were looking at clothes. Do you want to buy some new clothes? I hadn't even thought about the fact that you might not like what I wear. I know it's really hard for us to schedule things but maybe we can work out a way for you to go shopping? I know it's impossible, but I sort of wish we could go together. I think it would be fun to be friends. At least, I like to think that.

Oh, also on Amazon - I know you really want a vibrator but I don't think I can afford it. And if I could, I'm still not sure how comfortable I'd be shipping it here to school. I'm sorry.

I hope you have a good day today;

Kate

P.S. Alice says hello

That night, as many other nights, Kate cried in bed without really knowing why. In her dreams, she saw a lanky girl with blue hair playing around with the jukebox inside the Two Whales diner. When she finally saw Kate, she smiled.

Then, there was nothing, and Kate Marsh was gone.