#haha I am having a field day rn

[onlysanepeoplesleep]

possible tw: brief mention of an eating disorder and body dysmorphia (implied but it’s barely there??).

There was no doubt when someone said Kevin was beautiful or pretty. Everyone complemented his looks, even Tetsuji had said that his looks could be used and he should use them. He hadn’t understood when he was younger what that meant exactly, but he understood now.

You could get anything just by having a pretty face and an eye-catching body. Maybe that’s why he was put on strict diets in the Nest. So the photoshoots they took months later would show his slim waist and lean figure. Riko always said his eyes were the prettiest part about him, and thus were meant to be kept unharmed.

His face never showed any sign of the abuse he had received in the Nest, even years after people still believed he had had it easy. Maybe that’s why he hated his self-image so much, why he stared at the mirror for seconds longer than he should. Why he hated eating anything above the calorie intake he was meant to. Because he had had it easy. Life had been easy for him, he shouldn’t worry others with his problems because he didn’t have any.

He was fine because he wasn’t traumatised. He wasn’t hurt the way Neil or Jean were. He didn’t have lasting scars except for the one on his left hand — and even that wasn’t as bad as the ones Jean or Neil carried.

Everything was fine. He was fine. Nothing was wrong.

And yet… if something wasn’t wrong, if he was truly okay — then why did he still have nightmares? Why did he awake abruptly at night drenched in sweat and riddled with fear? Maybe he was a coward, why else would he have nightmares when his experiences in the Nest had been nothing compared to what Jean suffered. What Neil suffered. Why should he have nightmares when Neil woke from them more frequently? When Kevin didn’t deserve to be traumatised because he wasn’t.

Everybody believed that was true so why shouldn’t he?

Betsy would probably say it wasn’t good to think like that. It wasn’t healthy to undermine his own trauma (which he didn’t have) just because someone else experienced the same things — just differently. She’d tell him to focus on his own nightmares and focus on trying to heal, but what was there to heal from if he was fine? Because he was. He was fine, as fine as one could be.

So he didn’t deserve the small reassurances his friends gave him. Didn’t deserve any kind of affection from them especially because it should be the other way round, but Kevin’s not sure how to comfort people and he knows he should know because if he’s fine and everything in his life has been fine up until this point — then how come he can’t give solace to those whose lives aren’t?

Why must he be so selfish and rude and stupid and a coward? Riko hardly did anything to him. He wasn’t beaten as much as Jean, he wasn’t tortured as much as Neil, he wasn’t broken. He survived the Nest and was fine, so that meant he had no room to argue with those who didn’t. Those who were braver then him. Who endured the pain because they didn’t know much else.

Kevin had the key to his cage whereas Neil and Jean didn’t. That was the difference. That was why he was fine and they weren’t. That’s why they needed to be loved and cared for and he didn’t.

He was not fine. He hadn’t been fine in years, but he’d never voice that aloud. He’d never disagree when someone said he had it lucky; when they said he was spoiled for thinking he didn’t. Whatever horrors he had been through in the Nest didn’t matter because in the end, the only way for people to realise just how broken you truly were was if they had visible evidence. And in that, Kevin was lacking.

[transmutationisms]

just saw that you brought up the age of napoleon having good coverage of historiographical debates and disagreements. do you have any suggestions of other books/podcasts that talk about historiography? i'm rly interested in it as a concept rn and am trying to find an accessible way in. thanks!

there are some books and papers that focus more on historiography than others—eg, this paper on historiography and historical methods relating to east asian medicine (DOI 10.13081/kjmh.2020.29.569), this book covering historical narratives of darwinian evolutionary theory (ISBN 9780822947080) and this paper on the historiography of science generally (DOI 10.1484/J.ALMA.5.136773). you can definitely read these as case studies and pull out methodological insights that are applicable elsewhere.

however, i think most people find it more engaging to learn historiography and historical method in general by reading on topics that they're interested in, rather than trying to find a text that functions as a methodological handbook. it's standard for any historical literature, esp books aimed at a specialist audience, to include historiographies in their main introductions and conclusions, and often also in the intro sections that open each chapter. when you hit those sections, it helps if you have some kind of discussion / study group to talk through them with, but even if not, you'll start to pick up on trends in the field, major names and concepts, disagreements and sea-changes, and so forth the more of them you read. it's also very helpful to look at a book's front matter: what are the author's institutional affiliations, if any; what press published it; what names do they drop in their acknowledgments (esp if it's a first book and they name an academic advisor)...?

it definitely feels overwhelming at first but as far as i can tell nobody ever really walks into this knowing what they're talking about at first. you kind of muck about and pick things up slowly, and then eventually much faster, and then one day you look back at some notes you took a year ago and realise how much you've actually developed since then haha

[studentbyday]

Hey guys 👋🏻 Lately even if I sleep well, I've been finding it harder and harder to get out of bed and do my work, even if I still can feel excited about certain topics in my field (if they're presented in a different enough, positive context like new research that's happening in my area). @zzzzzestforlife told me that means I'm burnt out and that if I feel like I'm so busy I can't take 5 minutes to do anything extra, I should take a hour to just rest and rejuvenate because you won't actually fall that far behind in just an hour. Proverbially speaking. She actually prescribed that I take the weekend off 😅 And I trust her judgment because she knows the pace I work at (read: slower than her) and she's burnt out enough times to recognize the symptoms quickly and take action against it before it gets really out of hand.

So this weekend, I'm just going to rest (with the exception of the little bit of pathology assignment I still have to finish before Monday and reviewing a bit more for the immunology midterm on Wednesday...and a few very light admin tasks...God, as I type this, it's really tempting to just not take a break and keep working this weekend out of fear but I really don't think I should. I should preserve the bit of passion and enthusiasm I still have for my studies and return to them on Monday feeling refreshed enough to keep going, resting each weekend, until the end of the semester because I need to build sustainable habits if I want to take 5 courses / semester next year and come out of it still whole).

And I've kind of forgotten what rest mode is like?? So I need to do a little brainstorm...again. because this list will be a bit smaller and thus less overwhelming (to me in this burnt out state) than the one I shared before and I'll only be picking the activities that will actually be helpful for my current state (e.g. i am not aiming to wake up really early at all this weekend. that just puts unnecessary pressure because i just find that really really hard to do these days as the days get shorter and recently meditating just makes all my anxious thoughts re-surface so I think I need to try more active forms of mindfulness so the full strength of the emotions don't have to hit me and drain me so much). (And I am under no pressure whatsoever to do all of these. Just whatever I feel my body and soul are most called to do in the moment. I've forgotten how to rest in the busy-ness it's so weird...like i actually had to be reminded that real rest is not something you have to try really hard to do and if you do that then it ceases to be real rest, even if you're engaging in a supposedly restful activity. Why did I have to be reminded of something so common sense. I mean, I do know, but still. It's strange, the effect that extended periods of work mode has on the brain...)

Physical movement (pilates/yoga and walking in nature are still my current faves but I only walked in nature and did yoga once this week and my body is starting to complain about it...)

Practice piano (even if I think I suck...the only reason for that would be because I'm out of practice, so the more I practice and the sooner I start practicing, the better I'll sound. I haven't played since summer ended...)

Reading fiction (Maisie Dobbs is reliably calm yet uplifting and it's what I've been reading most of this week so I might continue that, but this weekend I'm going to slow down and get cozy, i.e. away from my desk, while I read)

Yapping with those who are dearest to me

Listening to music that is stimulating in a calming way (rn I'm thinking like slow classical choir stuff haha because you've got the harmony together with occasional notes that sing out above the rest and it's just really satisfying in a calming way...there are also a couple of piano pieces that have that kind of calming vibe like träumerei... There's also slow jazz.)

Do mundane things like the laundry (I need to change my bedding anyway), sorting and folding said laundry (i don't usually like folding haha so Zesty usually does that [thankfully], but i think there will be something extra comforting about the folding patterns this time and there's just a lot still to fold...), washing my water bottle, and basically just cleaning house because the act of moving and seeing all the dirt get gone because of it is therapeutic and a surprisingly good de-stressor

I was also supposed to do my weekly hair mask this weekend which I almost completely forgot about

[jeanie-g]

Oh yes, teacher AU please 😏

I mean how can I not 🤷🏼‍♀️

HAHA we were just talking about this so ofc! i started writing it months ago, but lately i've revisited it to flesh out the story a lil bit.

let me set the scene: jack is a 7th grade english teacher working on his first Big Project (either a novel or a play - i'm between the two rn, but i'm leaning towards play) that he's....kinda stuck on. he doesn't love being a teacher either, just sees it as a temporary job til he gets published (can u see the incoming character arc? lol)

so, he's a bit lost. he's got his best friend trevor (who teaches 8th grade science), and he's got his brother/roommate luke (who pays the majority of the rent w his swanky ahl contract), but that's it.

until he meets nico at the bar one night, who's new in town (and also hot and mysterious). and wow! jack finally has a life outside of school....a way to separate his work/home life and a chance at love!

until he shows up on monday and sees that nico is the newest gym teacher lol. cue hilarity and nico trying to seduce jack in the broom closet. jack has to reassess the way he separates his personal and work life and how they intersect - and fall in love in the process ofc.

it's very much a rom-com but i wanna explore jack's identity as a writer and teacher, and give him some room to figure himself out :) i just finished Writers & Lovers by Lily King (highly recommend!!!), which is major inspo for this new direction.

here's a (slightly ~spicy~) snippet:

***

Jack clicks his tongue. “I don’t wanna talk about work. It’s…exhausting sometimes.”

“Hence the bar?”

“Pretty much.” He regards Nico, just sitting there—the hottest man in this whole place—and plays with the straw in his glass. “But I’m feeling better now.” It’s cheesy, he knows, but Nico flushes anyway. Jack is really liking how easy this man is to read.

“And why is that?”

And Jack can’t help himself. He lowers his voice. “Well, I’m hoping the handsome European in front of me is going to ask me to go home with him.”

Jack expects Nico to be surprised at his forwardness, but he just grins like the cat who got the cream. “A little presumptuous, hm?” he asks, goading—devilish.

Jack smiles, darting his tongue out to lick the lime juice off his lips. “Am I out of line? I’d hate to assume…”

Nico takes a calculated sip. He leans in close. “Jack, I’ve wanted to ask you that as soon as I laid eyes on you.”

Jack shivers just the tiniest bit. It's the air conditioning, surely. “Yeah?”

Nico eyes him. His lips shine. “Yeah.”

They finish their drinks quickly after that.

“I should probably warn you,” Nico says in their Uber to his apartment just a few blocks up. They would’ve walked if they had any kind of patience. “My place isn’t very furnished.”

Jack’s hand is tracing patterns on Nico’s quad—this man has to work out. He wonders what he does for work. Construction, maybe? He never did mention, but then again, neither did Jack.

“Do you have a bed?” he asks. His hand crawls towards Nico’s inner thigh and he hears a sharp intake of breath.

“Yes.”

“Sounds suitably furnished to me.”

They’re on each other as soon as Nico’s front door closes, greedy hands finding purchase on any pull of fabric or strip of skin they can find. Nico’s mouth finds Jack’s in the dark, meeting him in a blazing kiss that makes Jack’s hairs stand on end and fireworks light behind his eyelids. Nico’s like a magnet—or a planet, pulling Jack in to orbit around him. Jack surrenders to it easily, and he doesn’t give himself time to even worry he’s being too needy about it.

It takes them a while to get through the small apartment, pushing each other up against walls or furniture to make out some more, Nico getting distracted by Jack’s wandering hands and Jack getting distracted by Nico mouthing marks that will definitely bruise along his jaw. Thank God it isn’t a school night; his students would have a field day with that one.

Blissful, adrenaline-fueled minutes elapse over Jack, and he doesn’t even register they’ve gotten to Nico’s bedroom until the backs of his knees bump against his bed and he goes tumbling backwards with a surprised yelp. Nico tumbles with him, shifting his weight so he doesn't crush him. He’s chuckling into Jack’s neck, and the sound vibrates through his head, swimming alongside the subtle buzz from the gimlets and Jack’s own desire, burning like an uncovered flame with an endless supply of oxygen.

Nico leans back, his hair thoroughly mussed from Jack’s fingers raking through it. A sliver of moonlight from the window illuminates his beautiful face.

“What do you want, Jack?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper. He sounds like he’d do absolutely anything Jack would ask him to.

The moment feels tight with anticipation, a Schrödinger’s cat of possibility. Jack leans up and kisses Nico sweetly, and drops his head back on the pillow.

***

and that's where i have to stop before it gets actually nsfw lmaooo

i'm so pumped to keep writing this. thanks for the ask <3333

[spacetravels]

i am so unwell about dragon age and knowing u from the choices fandom i got so excited ur playing soooo what did u think of dao? da2? who did you romance and what was ur character like? how are u liking dai? got pics of ur inky? 🥺 (only if u want!! no pressure to share ofc 💖) i myself am an alistair anders solas girlie 😔

WEHHH thank you… veilguard looks so good i have to speedrun dai but man all of you who’ve been waiting since like 2014 are my heroes cuz i’m just gonna trot in like lalala… (has been here like three months)

dao is my favorite by far i think… i’m easy to please LOL it has my favorite story and i love the cast so much ;_;/ i played warrior lady cousland so i did marry alistair HUHU he’s my favorite romance across all the games but i wanna replay so bad to romance morrigan and have a diff silly little world state (trying not to think about doing this until after dav LOL) but god . HoF is just so so funny and i had so much fun…

da2!! i played blue warrior hawke <3 i liked running around kirkwall LMAO i think it was really fun to just contain the story around this one city and just hang out with my best friends 🥹 but goddamn. no one warned me about everything hawke goes thru LIKE 😭 HAVE A VACATION!!! i didn’t romance anyone though in my first playthru HAHA i kind of regret it though cuz by the end i wanted to romance isabela but i also think for my hawke i was happy to not have had a romance cuz it makes sense for my thoughts about her … like she’s just happy to still be alive and wants to do right by everyone who’s ever believed in her so she never thought about it but maybe after all gets said and done she’d seek out izzy… one of those real Slow burns in my brain heehee.. (pro mage .. btw)

AS FOR DAI !!! i’m terrible with open world games. NFKSJFKSKFKL but i sincerely am enjoying it cuz i’m following a quest guide so i don’t lose my marbles… it’s funny cuz i like. technically knew the most abt dai before playing through the games cuz [gestures at solas] but that’s alright cuz most of it has actually been a treat and a surprise :-) just not. the ending

my inky’s name is deirdre & she’s a human rogue 🙂‍↕️ i don’t have pics rn i’m at work JFKSLDK but ! kind of a little shit. it’s nice that everyone humors her stupid ass. as for romance…. blackwall…. he compels me… something is wrong with him and i like it <3

i’m close to starting wicked eyes & wicked hearts but i’ve been taking the time to explore places and do side quests stuff cuz i wanna be overleveled LOL and i need to switch up my groups more. except for varric. that’s my emotional support companion

BUT WWWWW i wanna draw my inky more & more da fanart when i’m not swamped with other projects and/or playing dragon age & fields of mistria bahahah.. i’ll remember to share more thoughts as i play 🥹🫰

[eresia-catara]

girlartemisia can I be completely honest with you for a second there. I am BAFFLED at how much you, among others like girlcavalcanti know about guido. where do you get all this info? what are the sources? you have the knowledge of 30 scholars in a trenchcoat. also the "guido has red hair" thing is so elaborate, and yet you say it's NOT YOUR FIELD? miss girl. you. you know more than my father who is an art history teacher. they should give you a degree "ad honorem" for how much you know. they should make you guido scholar. official historian!! I can't hide how envious i am of your knowledge! when I grow up i want to be as smart and cultured as you girlartemisia

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I am not deeply moved and have become a puddle of happy feelings rn haha what are you talking about ahsjdhskf

I do not deserve this T^T I genuinely don't know what to say to these kind words,,, thank you a lot??? I mean, I post stuff on tumblr simply because I like sharing these thoughts, the fact that they actually have a positive impact on an actual person is like- I am not good with expressing feelings but it's truly one of the most touching things anyone could've told me!! 💞💕💓💕

And I know it sounds like a cheap sentence everyone uses but. really, rest assured that if you are passionate and mostly curious about things, about anything, there is nothing your mind cannot achieve. It's not about the smarts mostly (that can only eventually be a predisposition to complex thinking, however Elon Musk does exist so) but about how much you are willing to wander with the mind and simply fuck around with things. Be creative. One thing society makes you believe is that being cultured = being "smart" and that it is thus only for the privileged few, but it's not true, culture is curiosity that is indulged. The only privilege involved here is not reaching the age of 15 being braindead because of this society (but even in that case, one can always change). My posts about guido? Yes they come from different books and papers that I read, but on top of that? unorthodox hypotheses and Thots that instead of discarding I like to explore (reason why I cannot claim attendability on my takes because a specialist would probably correct so many things and I do NOT have a degree, but they are interesting nonetheless! And have at times come in handy to me in unrelated topics lol)! What I mean is: these literary analyses are a fusion of academic papers AND personal thoughts that try to be compatible with them but also depend on the creativity of the mind.

That being said, I would LOVE to be a guido scholar!!! one day 👁️ And since you're not the first who's curious about sources on guido I will, eventually, make a post with all my books and papers :p

[vulpinesaint]

2 24 38 !!

wow so many questions forever from my dear good friends what a wonderful world to live in :D hi jacks!!!!!

2. show us a picture of your handwriting?

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

i feel like i am talking about my own poetry all the time (lie. i am very aware of how often i talk about my own poetry and try and keep it to a minimum to compensate for how much i Want to talk about it) but i really am sincerely proud of myself in that field. i know i have improved immensely since i started writing poems and i really love my own work and i think i’m doing a really good fucking job actually. this month has been rough so i will almost definitely not finish escapril but i have done a fair amount of poems for it!!! goal was to try and submit somewhere by end of month but if that doesn’t happen that’s okay. i’m very proud of myself forever regardless and i love my work.

38. fave song at the moment?

if you ask spotify it is i like the way you kiss me which i put on repeat for days on end but i am also a big fan of curiosity killed the moth by mothica rn. neither of those are fulfilling my ‘i have to like cool interesting music’ quota really but they Are what i honestly have on repeat haha :D

questions I think would be fun to be asked

[khalixvitae]

vil is so "no talking stage. mutual obsession and you see god in my eyes or die a painful death." and rook is "all day talking stage about how obsessed i am with my most specialest girlfriend now cheer for her or ill blow this whole building up" and it's like yea man. shit. i see god in vil's eyes too. he haunts me. hate it when gnc men make me homosexual.

This is so accurate actually??? I’m working on smth for Vil rn and I’m trying to find a balance so I can convey that kind of 0 to 100 commitment. I keep going back to that line of his in book 5 about how he has no interest in strong arming people into bowing to him and how he prefers it when people do so on their own accord. Vil wants unwavering loyalty, but he also wants to be treated like a person rather than a two dimensional character. He just wants you to see him as the most perfect person to ever walk the earth- and that’s where seeing god in his eyes comes in. He needs to know he can trust you, not just because you’ve got some flighty crush on him- so does everyone else, get in line- but because you’re enamored with his whole being. This means being honest and upfront with him when he does something you disagree with, as well as refusing to shy away from hard truths he has to hear. He doesn’t want you to kiss his ass- honesty like that is a good measure of loyalty, and a foundation for any sort of relationship when he has millions of people obsessing over him. He needs to know you really mean it. It’s complicated, I guess. To me it seems like Vil would want you to level the playing field and treat him like any other person, but then choose him over everyone else in the world because you find him to be so perfect (all his baggage included). But I feel like the mutual connection and respect would be a start for the inevitable mutual pining. Vil is observant by nature and brutally honest to a point- if you reciprocate that without any sort of prompting, he’s going to take to you once he’s sure you’re not trying to get something out of him (just as he took to Rook). You’ll have to know him well to see that he’s in love with you. His affection comes in ways like hard truths big and small, inviting you to do extraordinarily mundane things with him (working out, a quick brunch, etc.), and cosmetics he’s formulated just for you. It’s exceedingly normal for the longest time- he has to know you won’t get bored of him, that you aren’t just interested in his public persona. If you know him that well and still fall head over heels, if you still find god in his eyes? Then he floors it. Or rather it‘s difficult to floor it when the two of you have already so deeply entangled your day to day lives. When did you two get this close? When did you learn so much about him without him telling you outright and Vice versa? Nonetheless it just escalates from there, because then Vil really wants to pick your brain- that mutual understanding gets far deeper far faster once the safety brake is disengaged.

ANYWAYSSSS LMAO I DIDNT. MEAN TO SAY ALL THQT ???? I JUST WOKE UP HAHA ??? THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS ANON HEHE HOO !!! YOURE INSIPIRING ME!!!

I am also so very homosexual for gnc men!!!!

[yakultii]

Your uni work sounds really interesting, would love to hear more about it if you feel comfy sharing!

omg yessssss I fr can only study things I am passionate about !! I’d tell you everything but idk where to begin!! I did a lot of philosophy over the past few years but I got tired of it so I’ve gone full circle and I’m back doing sociology which comes a lot more naturally to me (while I looooved writing philosophical essays/curating my own ideas based off previous ones/filling the gaps, I got hella sick of reading stupjd ideas from middle aged white men from way back oop(I have a lot of opinions on that but I’d go on forever) and sociology I enjoy both the reading and the writing and the researching component(I think), though I’m quite new to conducting my research from scratch rn) - I mean sociology is genuinely just about how everything is socially constructed , peeling back the layers, even on the things you wouldn’t think are/sociology is just the study of how social influences play a role in shaping us/how private problems can be shaped by public issues sometimes (not to take away autonomy completely but just to acknowledge there are structural and historical elements at play.. to then find more effective solutions to social problems including things like health, economy and so on) .. so while I’m technically wasting my life away these last few yrs feeling non-human I’m always lowkey learning about life on the side .. so when/if I finally get it together and go live half a life I’m gonna have more knowledge on my side (which can’t be a bad thing surely - though sometimes I wish I knew less about life haha) I also did closer studies in gender studies a few yrs back but I found that general sociology incorporates gender in just about every topic and felt more useful for every day life, though I’d recommend that everyone takes an intro to gender studies class if you can! I’ve done a tonne of units over the yrs.. in philosophy my fav/most memorable was on love, sex and death which was super fun and was actually what made me think I wanted to go down philos pathway ahh I got super passionate and also world religions I loved too! but some memorable sociology units I enjoyed covered public health, youth, performance of identities etc (it’s all stuff I already knew but I love putting it into formal practice) and this sem my focus is on 1. sports and bodies in society 2. contemporary research (which is a diff class entirely but I also happen to be conducting research on transphobia in sport utilising social media) 3. love, sex and relationships (which is mostly on family dynamics so far but I think it’ll get more interesting soon) and4. culture, control and boundaries which is a lot on deviance and how society kinda constructs what is deviant, who is the “other” how we “other” people etc. and then next sem I think I’m gonna go back to focusing on religion again but from a sociological perspective rather than philosophical and some others… I mean obviously within each unit there’s a lot more to it and there is method to sociological approach but that was just a brief overview of what I’m doing rn haha but let me know if there’s anything in particular you wanna know about !!! regarding sociology in general or any of these topics ig :))) p.s if u feel like ur stuck/can’t escape society’s constructions and want to live freely in denial (what I should do) I highly recommend u don’t study soc bc it will only reaffirm how fucked up capitalism and patriarchy got us, no matter what field within soc u look into like this study only enables my depression for sure which is probably why it comes naturally to me lmao but also I feel like everyone should study soc bc I feel like it’s knowledge everyone should have Argh. I need everyone to know and understand everything I know and understand !!!! (I’m learning that’s just never gonna happen ugh)

also side note - I still personally think philosophy is beneficial to study as it teaches you how to think more critically, though I felt I already did that but it allowed me to put it into practice formally I suppose, so I still think it’s worth it! but I feel as though once you are confident thinking extremely critically/not just consuming but critically responding/putting forward your own ideas/knowing how to contribute something new to academic discourse , philosophy starts to feel pointless for me because the content itself is not so applicable to real life as something like sociology but that’s just my opinion haha

also fun fact that I didn’t really know before I studied sociology is that soc is actually a science like it has its own set of research methods and procedures to follow (if you go beyond writing random essays ofc) which I think is kinda cool considering I never took much interest in typical science (I think science is cool and great but my adhd brain just don’t give a fk)

[petzel]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

tagged by: @yellowjckets THANK U I LOVE UUUU!!!!

1. are you named after anyone?

nope! well, actually one of my middle names is my grandpa's name, so i'm named for my grandpa!

2. when was the last time you cried?

last night, because cam bought me a necklace at target that hit me in a very emotionally vulnerable spot. i cry just about every single day though (i am a weeper from a long line of weepers and all that)

3. do you have kids?

i do not, but cam and i desperately want them. we are currently planning for one about 5 yrs 🫣 which is frightening but also very exciting. we're crazy too, like we already have a lot of baby clothes and cam's mom is handing down her cloth diapers and stuff. all very exciting!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

i don't, but i am someone who struggles to understand sarcasm haha so i also struggle to use it properly.

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

i have never played sports lol. i wanted to play hockey very badly as a child (and still now), but it's expensive so i couldn't. i was told i should do track & field (specifically shotput) but i didn't want to. now i have a mild interest in dogsports, haha. i like LGRA, dock diving, rally o, and treibball.

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

i agree with emmy about vibes, i feel like the first thing i notice is whether someone like. SEEMS nice or not.

7. what is your eye color?

like a t15/t17 on that 1998 eye color chart thing

8. scary movies or happy endings?

oh i loveee scary movies. i actually love both but horror is forever my angel

9. any special talents?

ehhh i have near limitless patience and have a decent beginner's mind? don't really think those are special talents, but hey. i can also touch my nose to my tongue i guess haha

10. where were you born?

my hometown is ann arbor, michigan. love that place forever and ever.

11. what are your hobbies?

drawing, cooking, (doing hw is not a hobby but i was in college for 4 semesters in a row and had no time for anything), dog training, photography (analog & digital), reading poetry, listening to the radio, spending time with my husband.

12. do you have pets?

yes! i have a 15 year old orange cat named buggy, and a 1 year old black and white spaniel mix named winston!

13. how tall are you?

5'4 🤫

14. favorite subject?

in grade school it was english and history, but in college, i loveee any of my classes that are actually about my major, fish & wildlife. i loved my lab last fall semester, and i'm really excited for horticulture lab this fall.

15. dream job?

mannnn who knows. i currently work at a botanical garden, which is good enough for me in the meantime! i'd like maybe some sort of labwork about birds, bc i liked working in the fish lab so much, but i also really enjoy my current staff team and i like more public facing work, so it's very up in the air rn.

TAGGING: @pepprs @centralpark1981 @romansmartini @dubwoofer @starw1sh @spelldealer @riskrov @snartled @evilsufjanstevens - all with absolutely zero pressure, i just see you all in my notifs and love you dearly be well dear mutuals

[definitelynotshouting]

MINECRAFT SHINGLES, OMG HEGSJAGAGAKA

This is an amazing way to word it, and I'm stealing that, bcuz this is also exactly what happened to me lol. I'm 21, I've watched MC vids for 6 months now, I've played for 2 xdd

No immunity, only blocks lol

Also, let's unite in being anti-chest-monster, I very quickly realised how overwhelming digging through chests of junk can be for me, it just sucks the enjoyment right out of the game. I've been looking into building some sort of a redstone sorting system, cuz I discovered I really like redstone, but I don't think I'm on that level yet haha

But I love exploring, flying around, collecting pretty blocks, and orgainising everything into neat stacks (that last one scratches my autism brain pfftttt), so it's only a matter of time before I attempt a storage system like that

And I must unfortunately dissappoint you, for I have no real rhyme or reason when it comes to planning my builds 😅

Ideas and block combos just usually pop into my head, and then I try them out straight in the survival world. I sometimes mess up, change blocks, remove things, so it's not an efficient way to do things, but it does work for me. Plus I've noticed I'm kinda like Etho, my houses are mostly just interior lmaoooo. It's usually a hot mess of things I thought are cool at a time, and a consistent building style is something I lack xd. For example, my island is decorated with moss, spruce leaves, ferns, a fire pit, etc. (cabin in the woods vibes), my fields and animal pen are on interconnected artificial islands on my lake, my potion lab is in a basement I dug under said island and I made it with blackstone and a lot of the nether warped stems (evil scientist style), and the house I made is on top of a... futuristic tree I made from glass and leaves, and said house in itself looks like a Rich Person Seaside Mansion, and it's in white and blue

I supppose this is a real representation of my brain xdd

Also, I'm the person who makes farms for communal use, I was sleeping under the sky for SO LONG, cuz I made a gunpowder farm for my friends, an xp enderman one, now I wanna build a gold one in the nether, and I'm wrangling villagers into a trading hall rn (they are a nightmareeeee xddd)

~🌠

Oh gods redstone scares the crap out of me, i feel like i definitely fall on the builder side of things rather than being a more technical player-- but then i also havent messed with it much yet, so maybe i will surprise myself!!! Still, building a redstone sorting system seems real fun!!! Me when i can just sort things automatically.... the autism is Winning™ truly.

Tbh out of all my friends i am the person with the most Planning Brain. Cannot do a single thing on the fly it Must be scheduled, hopefully about three business days in advance at least /hj 😂😂😂😂 this apparently applies to minecraft in that i will open CSP and meticulously edit a screenshot to reflect what i want the area to look like, then meticulously plan a build outline, then carefully mull over multiple ideas for the block palette, then go BACK into the creative world to double check ive got the right measurements from the outline before ever setting foot back in my survival world 💀💀💀

Your builds sound so cool and unique though, thats amazing!!! Glass tree..... looking so intently at that tbh. Also gods i am dreading the part where i need to wrangle villagers for farms 😭😭😭😭😭 especially bc im entertaining the idea of putting all my farms underground so they're beneath/within the ruins i plan to make under the lake near my base. Luckily there is a village literally on the edge of the lake so at least theyre close by 💀

[sol-draws-sometimes]

20-24 inclusive and 44

Oooo hello Anon, you're a nosy-nelly, but that's fine cause I love to talk! Tho strap in cause this is gonna be a long one! Questions can be found here!

20: What I hate most about myself

Oof starting off on a downer. I'd say it's my passiveness. Which some may say is weird cause a lot of people would describe me as passionate and on the outside I do appear very organized. But I just have so many things I want to do, that I just don't. Like, I want to learn to sew, compose music, archery, read books, play video games, watch certain shows or movies, etc, but I just... don't. Yah part of it is that there's so much I want to do it's hard to pick one. And yeah I have ADHD, aka the "I can't do shit disorder," where executive dysfunction is my worse symptom. But even if I didn't have ADHD, I still feel like I'd be like this. Also, it's not just hobbies. I had flying ants in my room, and I told my parents about it, but then I stopped pushing them about it and I just sucked it up for serval months. Or I end up going to Community College because I put off applications until the last second, and I am currently really behind on transferring applications for my BA. Or I'm not as informed politically as I'd like to be because it's stressful to me, but then I'm not acting according to my beliefs which is also stressful. That's not to say I have no initiative. I taught myself cursive and how to touch type in middle school. I started posting my art on the internet, all of my art has been self-taught. I took my mental health into my own hands and hyper-fixated on mental health for years so that I could be in a better place. It's not good to be dwelling on the parts you hate about yourself, but I do genuinely believe it's trait about myself that I want to work on.

21: What I love most about myself

Okay, something more positive! Uh, people tend to say I'm a very bright person, or that I make their day and I'm glad I make people feel comfortable around me!

22: What I want to be when I get older

Okay here's the problem, I want to do everything yet I don't know exactly what I want to be(I'm literally only 19), but I do know the average person has multiple jobs/careers in their lifetime(rn google is saying 12), so here are a couple I know I want to do!

Teacher: I've always wanted to be a teacher since I was a kid, and while many people assume I want to be a music teacher, I'd honestly love to do any subject. Preferably STEM or History, tho being a music teacher would genuinely be fun I'd love to conduct a choir. I think rn I'm more interested in learning about the world than learning about pedagogy, but definitely a job I plan to have at some point in the future

Museum worker: My twin asked me if I'd ever considered working at a museum last year, and I'd never had but honestly it sounds like a perfect job for me! I love history and science, I could still teach people, and I love going to museums. Also, the behind-the-scenes research or archiving sounds very up my alley!

Archivist: Kinda related to the previous one since you can be an archivist at a museum, but idk it sounds like the type of work that my brain would vibe with. Organizing and researching stuff. Also, it's pretty cool to be able to work with primary sources of stuff, like that's so cool! And I get to preserve information so that down the line people aren't crying about how little information there is about [insert topic]. (also haha yah, yah I like tma, hardy har, shhhh, that isn't even one of the reasons, just a coincidence)

Scientist: Pretty vague term cause idk in what field but I know I've always liked science! For a frame of reference, I would probably doing some stem major if I wasn't a musician. I had finished my science course my second year of high school, I didn't have any science classes for two years. Then at the end of senior year, I listened to Stella Firma and there in b/w sections where they had a scientist fact check the show was so interesting and made me remember I liked science and it's actually super cool! I'm hoping that next year once I transfer, I'll be able to take steps to at the very least minor in Physics and start doing some STEM stuff. Tho tbh I'm just choosing physics cause I'm good at math and astrophysics/cosmology sounds very cool to me. But finding @a-dinosaur-a-day on Tumblr made me remember my dino phase in middle school! I'm less interested in learning about individual dinosaurs and more on the big-picture evolutionary side of things, but the schools I want to transfer to don't have geology majors and I prefer physics over bio. Also, paleontology is a neat combination of history and science! Tbh, I'm still figuring out what I want to do science-wise, but I know it's something that I'd find interesting as a job!

Choir/Band/Singer/Theater: I'm a singer but I don't want it to be my main job, job, since I'm never wanted to be a super famous, but I do like singing and I'm good at it, so I could always make money on the side. Also I've also preferred singing in choir than solo rep, so if I joined a travling choir or band with an emphasis on harmony(like abba for ex), I think that would be really fun as a job for a while. As far as solo singing, I prefer musical theater so I can see myself doing that for a bit(even if it is ensemble since I like that kind of thing), and who knows, I am intrested in writing some solo music, but I haven't really done that

Composer: I want to learn how to compose music but I haven't. Oddly enough, I am more interested in composing instrumental stuff than songwriter music, tho I do want to do that. Or compose musicals, especially one in Spanish, that would be so cool. Tho I'd probably have to work with a lyricist. Even if it's not my main job, I'd love to do it on the side

Sound Design: Now this one you can blame on tma. I listened to the Q&As where they talk about Sound Design, it's absolutely fascinating to me, plus, if I learn how to compose, both could work pretty good together!

Art: Idk if I want to be an artist for a job, but once I'm good enough at drawing, I'd love to do commissions, or if I learn how to animate, working on an indie animation project would be such a cool thing! Or do a comic! I'd love to do a comic, doesn't even have to be my story! Years down the line, after graduating, I want to go back to school and get some degree in art! Doesn't need to be from an expensive school, probably will be from some local college near me at the time. Not that you need one to be a professional, but I find I learn best in a school setting and it's something I'd love to do to improve my art!

Can't believe Rusty Quill has inspired two possible job careers I-

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Oldest to youngest! My older brother didn't grow up with me but we visted his house alot! Tbh, I'm closer to my niece than I am him. He's got some beliefs/politics I don't agree with and he can be intense sometimes, but generally I have a good relationship with him. I don't talk to him much tho. And he's homophobic, so yah, don't plan to be too close to him anyway. Next should be my other brother but he died when I was 4, and he was in Cuba so I have no memories of him, so neutral I guess. Things were pretty rocky with my older sister growing up but we're pretty good now! She's like the one "adult figure"(I'm an adult but you know what I mean) in my life that I feel the most comfortable around. Then my twin is the person I'm the closest to. Yah we bicker and stuff, and we do things that the other doesn't like, but overall I'm the most comfortable around her. I also feel like she's the person who understands me the most, I genuinely don't know how I would've been in middle school if my twin didn't exist. Idk if anyone remembers the scene in the season 3 final of Bright Sessions, but you know when Mark goes to Adam's room and they sit and silence and Mark is like"I know we both know what we're feeling but we should still talk about what happened" I feel like that's kinda my twin and I. Anyways, I love my sisters very much!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

Kinda rocky and I don't want to get into it too much but they're immigrant parents™. However, for literal boomers, they're actually pretty good. I'd say they're good parents but there's alot about them that frustrates me. Also living with them makes problems exacerbated. They're trying their best to understand me, but they don't and I don't feel comfortable talking to them about my problems with them. I'm also not out to them, so there's always a part of me they're not really seeing. But when it matters they're there. And they've been pretty supportive of me being in the arts. My dad was also pretty present in my life, which sucks that I have to specify, but I do.

44: A random fact about anything

There are two versions of the Latino dub of Sleeping Beauty and people fight about I think. I grew up with the 2001 ver but people prefer the original 1959 dubbing. My preliminary stance on this without having seen the full 1959 dub and only some clips is that the Queen's acting is better in 1959, but the songs are bettered dubbed in the 2001 version(suck it up nostalgia is winning)

Okay, that was a lot! BUT, there are more questions so ask away!

[kithtaehyung]

hiii love :) i saw this tiktok and thought of you so here you go hehe: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR7baDGj/

i read the teaser for “and f*ck you, too” and my jaw is unhinged?? IT’S ALREADY SO GOOD OMFG😭 AND THE WORD COUNT???😮‍💨 I’M SO HYPED AND EXCITED!!!

i’m also not sure if you got my previous ask, but in case you didn’t, i hope you know i absolutely loved the first part of mami and am screaming and jumping in joy for 3tan:fugue!! RAHHHH I LOVE ME A GOOD OLE YOONGI’S INTERLUDE, YES I DO!! I’LL EAT IT UP ANYTIME, REAL QUICK😤

i hope you’re doing well and i hope your vacation was/is fantastic! remember to take care of yourself, stay warm, stay hydrated, well-rested, and well-nourished :) remember to take things at your pace and not think too much about things. we all have life going on and we understand that your plate is full. i’m always willing to wait and will always eat up anything you release/tease! your well-being (both mentally and physically) always comes first!! i hope you don’t feel too pressured to release/do anything, and just remember to go at your pace🫶🏼 take things one at a time and do what feels right to you!

i also hope you’re enjoying autumn so far hehe :) the leaves are changing where i am rn and it’s so pretty! i also have some interviews coming up soon and i’m nervous but excited bc one of them is in the field that i want to go in :) i hope life is treating you well and i hope there’s exciting things coming your way too, love🫶🏼

-🥮

LMAO MOONCAKE NOT THE VIDEO💀💀💀 now that songs gonna be stuck in my head all day lmfao

ANYWAYS.. yeahhhh afyt is gonna be a lot because surprise surprise!!! I cant keep anything small and precise!!!🤣 I’m glad you’re looking forward to it and fugue and the mami collection🥳 there’s so much on the docket and it’s been hectic trying to get everything done. hopefully once my schedule is in place, i’ll be more diligent👍

and thank you for the kind words.. I will still feel at least some sort of pressure, but I’m gonna try focusing on the people that are understanding about the big gap in posting<3 it’s hard bc I wish I could do this all the time, you know? I would love to be able to write full time and make a living off of it. but until I get to that point, my time is gonna be pulled in a thousand directions haha

GOOD LUCK ON THE INTERVIEWSSSS the autumn vibes are just immaculate. October weather is top tier and will never ever be defeated im sorryyyy🍊🍂🍁 exciting things are heading for all of us 3tannies so I’m pumped🫣

[grap3fru1t-b3ach]

i am now compelled to make my account useful again. So have some apocalypse bitches that I love so goddamn much.

*SHARP INHALE*

Starting with:

VANQUISH they/them

° the most responsible of the crew, but also the snobbiest.

° arrogant af! Talk shit, get hit. (With an execution axe)

° judgmental (fitting for a corrupt judge)

° they run a little kangaroo court, where they see the jury and the prosecutors as little marionettes they can play with for their little sick, twisted, and unfair puppet show.

ILLNESS he/him

°feeshy 💚💜💚

°likes to sing, uses it to lure ppl in.

°plays the role of an "angel of mercy" (for those who don't know, that's a type of serial killer who kills people under their care who are very ill and are suffering from their illness, even if they can still be healed) except here, he's not actually sympathetic for you at all :)

° the tallest of the harebringers, and the most plump.

°makes his own special plagues himself. The one he's carrying rn doesn't have a name just yet, but it's his favorite by far.

°DON'T let those droopy eyes and soft voice fool you, he can lose his temper at the drop of a hat.

°Can and will cry. Like, a lot.

°has his own diseases himself,but he's pretty immune.

°has pollen allergies.

HATRED she/it

°ANT LADY

°likes spreading rumors about ppl she finds "problamatic"

°will fight you with her bare hands if she finds you a nuisance

°her braid makes her explode like a bomb, but it doesn't hurt or kill her. (Not like any of them CAN die anyhow)

°axe crazy arsonist

°don't say shit bout her shit plzdontyouwilldiehorriblypleasedon-

WILT he/him

°can sap any energy from plants and crops for himself, yet he is unable to gain weight... Especially with how much he takes. (Daym)

°his ragdoll look is supposed to be some sort of irony, he's a toy himself, yet he sees the people around him as toys for himself.

°speaking of, he uses his ragdoll appearance to manipulate children into thinking he's a doll their parents secretly threw away years ago. (He usually does this to 4-9 year olds)

°he also manipulates authority figures and law makers into raising the prices of food and bevrages.

°like the others, his short tempered side comes to light when things don't go his way, but out of all of them, his tantrums are the most destructive.

°he's a bit insecure about his lazy right eye. (His right)

DECAY she/her

°gives souls who died in the hands of the others a little comfort before spiriting them away.

°LOVES animals! Especially cats and crows.

°Despite her being all sweet n cute n stuff, she also has a reputation of goading people into suicide at times.

°illness and hatred are VERY protective over her (they aren't her parents, they all treat each other like siblings) make her cry, see what happens. :)

°she complains about headaches alot. But she refuses to remove the knife from her head, she calls it her "good luck charm"

° can turn into a crow herself.

WORMWOOD he/them

°leader of the harbringers

° technically the harebringer of havoc?

° HAHAHA HOW ARW YOU THAT SHORT-

° he's kinda scary despite his tiny stature...

°heard some of yall like those stained glass angel wings, SAY NO MORE!

°one of the "cavern angels" which are basically evil angels that are like that naturally and haven't been cast aside like fallen angels.

° birch tree, worm, get it??? Ha! Haha, ha... I'm not funny :(

°BE AFRAID!

Height comparison!

congratulations on getting thus far! Have some lore as a reward!

So basically, wormwood was always very lonely, so he made these guys out of calamity energy, he also bosses them around quite a bit, so sometimes, they sneak off and do their own thing. (Usually ends in them getting in trouble) wormwood was feeling generous one day, and decides to conquer an island for his harebringers to rule over their own piece of land and make it to their liking! The harebringers had a fuckin field day with this, and used this as an advantage to leech off the residents' sufferings. So now, it's up to Elpis to save the residents and end wormwood's schemes once again. (I'll give y'all Elpis later tho, I'm still working on her)

That's everything, thanks for listening to me ramble about my children.🩷

TL;DR art of the 5 harebringers in my version along side wormwood! Including vanquish, illness, hatred, wilt and decay.

[obscureoperations]

im on a jojo binge rn and can't stop thinking of "what if martin was in jjba part 5?" he'd probably have a field day with all the stands, he might befriend narancia and giorno, too. maybe add mista to the mix. how would he react to the torture dance?

Ngl…I have no idea what any of this means..perhaps I’m a bit outta touch. I know I am haha. But from googling it…his and my reaction are pretty much the same 👀😕😂👌

Like, what is any of this?!? Lmao I’m here for the sheer and utter chaos of the video. Thanks for the distraction fam!

[always-me-meha]

*update* She said okay as long as he rips out carpet lol I don't think he happy xD she wants him to rip out a couple chunks for last nights stay and some more if he stays tonight 🫣 kind or figured there'd be a catch, they got annoyed we'd do nothing but hide in my room all summer instead of at least helping cut the grass or something, which he did actually offer on his own to do it before lol I'm sure if they asked he would've more often. I think this is her way of just being a dink tbh lol but hey if it gets him on her good books again 😬

Aghhhh I don't see why she'd say no.....

it's not like we go anywhere or do anything, at least she knows (that inner protective momma bear)

I'm safe getting stoned here at home, playing videos games/watching movies, in my room, we don't even leave it to bother her vs her being worried if I'm gambling or driving stupid or getting into some sort of trouble.

Ended up being a long long one as I had a wicked word vomit. If ya wanna keep reading lol.

Which we all know there is certainly trouble boiling in town. SO YES. I'd like one more night with my guy, safe at my house, no jib temptations, he can go home tomorrow, then I stay home till Tuesday.

Wahhh that's so long without my love 🥺💔

Ps. Fucking crazy I'm saying my love now..... like wow never ever did I think that.

Getting back on track....

Us trying to communicate through messenger is still a struggle agh. We were arguing yesterday, over my gambling boo boo, that I was seriously surprised he still came over anyway. Like aweeeeeee ♡ I'm sooo happy he did.

I don't care, even when we fight I still like to see him! Even if im grouchy and say I don't wanna haha I still always run to him when I CAN, anyway. Point being, it's nice he's here with me rn, and I'd love one more night 🥺

He knows it to, things get shitty the moment I go home, or I guess when we're apart, why when I was at his place he asked me to get my dog and stay with him lolol didn't want me going home and then another argument starts 🙄

I'm guilty to being one that probably starts it most of the time hehehehe I don't mean to. I just get depressy and shit..... I start over thinking, and then I over react to the way he responds to me, when i dont hear the responses i want. Then he gets upset and boom aghhhh fuck we'll work through it, we have to being we live in two separate towns. Not that far away but ain't no walk unless you like walking the distance....

Lmfao, I will walk 500 miles!

I just, like I said I'm constantly watched by my mother smh, I feel like I always need permission.... it fucking sucks. But that's what mental illness, suicidal attempts and fucking stupidity does to you I guess. I make poor choices obviously, I am grateful she toughs it out and supports me tho. I'm not easy to manage 😬. Her and my step pop are protective over me cause they careeee.

Like hell, they had to pick me up from the hospital like an hr away cause I was driving on the rim of my tire on the highway having a mental break down and I was highly intoxicated to. Luckily the blower couldn't get an accurate reading annnnd they fucked up the weed ticket so it got thrown out.

Hmmm oh yes I was involved in a police chase, not my fault I was basically knocked out drunk in the passenger. My step pop had to pick me up the morning after when i woke up on my friends couch, luckily not in the drunk tank lol

Lastly, my fucking psychotic break where I ended up hiding in a field on the Trans highway a province from home that the popo searched 2 hrs for me before I hopped up cause the green flashing light meant go... anywho 7 days later I think ya, the folks had to do a road trip to the city (in that province) to pick my ass up from the mental ward. Funny I was suppost to stay for 3 weeks but guess they couldn't handle me BAHAHA

Not to mention my OD, from when I was living alone..... ya almost lost me there. Thankyou for caring bosses that came to look for me when I didn't show up for work 💖

So you can see why they're protective eh? Oh and they know how I start getting alil more crazy when I'm involved with a guy, that's another thing they hate 👀 idk why it happens it just does, all my emotions go up 5-10 notches. Then they're the ones at home stuck dealing with the ups and downs from me. So I see why they hate it but it sounds selfish to me LMAO JKJK

Then of course the first man I date in years is like the most..... perfect guy 😉 that makes them so 'happy' for me..... anyway to me he is, yeah there's alot of shit that could possibly out weigh the good between us..... but let's just see where the ride takes us? (Mmmm , i think i said this before with him and that ended in a loud bang....then again we are dating now so it could be different, but yes many unnecessary emotional breakdowns for sure are about to happen, fuck. Stoopid bipolar making me sensitive as fuck when I know there's a bad ass bitch in there lol)

Like damn, I wish I was still like idk.... positive about things and giddy like 2020, when I thought i was head over heals for this guy, I never got triggered or anything, I knew how to calm myself down for him and stop overthinking and trust him. Hell he was in my bed sleeping that day I walked to the post office and caige seen and messaged me for the first time. I was so dedicated to this other guy I asked him if it was okay if I could chill with caige. Which he said yes. Just silly cause we were still just getting to know eachother (obv it was a spark that died quick due to my mental health, i had that psychotic break that i guess spooked him off lol), anyway thats how i started hanging with caige who somehow became my now love ❤️ who accepted me before n after my mental snap 🥰

And he's sleeping like a baby as I type this, that's when men are the cutest lol

Sorry yall I'm just over thinking and chatty rn.