#hadn't even realized that one

[mobius-m-mobius]

Benoit Blanc you will always be famous

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 11 thoughts

dare i say it… new favorite episode?

whatever expectations i had, they were blown away. usually the episode after a two episode arc feels weird and stiff, but this? this hit every box on a checklist i didn’t even know i had.

i’m bouncing off the walls right now. i'm pacing my room and mumbling to myself while gesticulating wildly. i am filled with an energy that caffeine has not ONCE given me. and it's called "your character, that is so near and dear to you, got an episode dedicated just to exploring their inner life and workings and belief system and faith in God and the world". try it if you get a chance.

so let us begin. let me give you my verbatim notes, so you can watch the excitement grow.

oh boy! oh boy oh boy! i am excited! and i know by now to not expect any real continuation from the last episode, but i’m still excited because the last two were so good! and this one is like… good omens? with a kid that can start the end of the world?

wow. never have i thought to myself, how would mulder and scully handle biblical revelations? but here i am. wondering it.

hope the kid is chill. hope he has good vibes. mulder will like him anyway because he’s actually a huge softie but still better if he’s got good vibes.

we open on a sermon. the priest or pastor- depending on the denomination- whatever his title is, he is talking about faith. saying that miracles are real. and now he’s shaking and moaning. is this one of those churches?

OH HE’S BLEEDING from between his knuckles like some sort of blood wolverine. people are looking at him, thinking, what is going on? and this is something i am also wondering. maybe it was fake though…. little capsules in his hands, maybe???

he’s dabbing off his makeup now. as a man enters his dressing room. saying that some people really do believe. but he’s being weird.

and then this guy escalates to murder. and when he touches this pastor he’s burning up??? huh??? a firebender?? in pennsylvania??

THE INTRO WAS DIFFERENT AGAIN THIS TIME. WHY DOES IT CHANGE. i have come to know these beats VERY well!! they are like a heartbeat to me. you cannot simply alter them as you see fit!

scully looking at the body of the dead pastor/priest, talking about how it looks like rope burns around his neck. mulder crouching VERY close by.

HEHEHEHEHE mulder is like “he was bleeding from his hands like the crucifixion” and scully goes “stigmata?” heheheheheeeee i’m blushing

(talking about belief systems is apparently a way to my heart? like c'mon, tell me how you understand the universe and which elements you surrender to knowing that you will never comprehend. you look cute while doing it)

no wounds on the hands, though… so mulder licks the blood. and i froze JUST as scully makes this horrified face... i’m CRYING. yes, it is fake blood, and yes, he has some on his lips and teeth, and yes, its adorable. but what a risky move!

ohhh he was wearing a sugar pump sort of thing! yum yum. couldn't be me, i'd be slurping that.

so mulder has been tracking religious murders related to stigmatics (excellent word!)

scully’s talking about how certain people believe at any given time there are 12 stigmatics in the world. and they represent the 12 apostles. and i’m blushing terribly.

nods solemnly. i am learning a lot about myself through this show.

scully you are so preeeeetty. 

okay, cut to elementary school in ohio. kevin is blowing spitballs. his teacher is bullying him into doing math on the board. when all of a sudden, his hands start bleeding!! and we see that he has the holes!!!

he’s in the nurse’s office still when mulder and scully show up. damn how did they get to ohio that fast… OHHH they had put out an FBI alert and maybe this happened more than once.  yes, this is exactly what is explained mere moments after i made the initial comment.

so it happened BEFORE, and they assumed it was an incident of abuse, but it wasn’t proven. still, his dad was institutionalized after saying Kevin was chosen by God. okay! things escalated. 

scully is talking to the boy. she feels his forehead and says he feels feverish. okay doctor!! and she says he is very brave. queen. smart and kind.

mulder is meeting kevin’s mom. explaining that he might be in danger from a religious fanatic.

oh! the thermometer in his mouth broke. straight up exploded. hope that was fake mercury in there.

they’re going to put kevin back “into the shelter” which i feel like would make him an easier target for a serial killer?? but on the off chance it WAS his mom, it would make him safer. so mixed feelings here.

mom yells at the teacher, teacher says she loves her job, and mulder has this excellent smile. then waves scully out to leave. it was kinda funny to me for some reason, the waving her out. quite domestic. 

mulder thinks the kid did the cuts to himself to get his father back. hmm. not buying it. so they go to talk to kevin's dad. 

dad claims the forces of darkness have been watching kevin. in the great war between good and evil. he’s really talking to scully and he says they just “come full circle to find the truth��. she says dude idk what that means?? and he says “you will” okay... i’m creeped out a bit!!!

kevin is back at the children’s home. telling a bunch of other kids scary stories. and he seems to be explaining a scary guy who is walking into the building as the storytelling goes on. just as the scary guy enters, all the kids leave. scary guy is looking at the wounds on kevin’s hands!

soon after, mulder is with the group of children who saw the guy. we learn here that mulder is 6 foot 1. which is very funny. 

kevin was abducted by the fellow it seems he was describing before his arrival!!! and his mom seems to blame scully. she looks really upset.

they see the drawing that they think does not look like a real person, and kevin’s mom is like it’s owen, who did the yard work. 

so it’s owen time. he’s carved noah’s ark and he has kevin. but he says he can’t let him go home. because it isn’t safe. he refers to himself as kevin’s guardian angel. hmm. that makes me suspicious.

owen grabs a shotgun when a car pulls up. but the agents get him to put it down and scully is on a quest to find the little dude. and he was there… but now he isn’t?

so owen says God asked him to protect kevin. 

OH ANGRY MULDER IS GONNA QUOTE SCRIPTURE AT YOU!!!!! now give him some DAMN ANSWERS!

owen is like, well YOU believe, don’t you scully, because you have that necklace on. he’s calling her a BAD CHRISTIAN??? the audacity….

then owen gets up and JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW??? and runs away??? somehow??

(mulder jumped down from the porch to chase owen, and his big coat floated around him like a cape... i giggled)

now where did this dude go...?

kevin made it home!!! he’s yelling for his mom. she doesn’t seem to be there, but someone rang the doorbell. and we only see a quick glance but it LOOKS like the killer!!! 

who burns off the doorknob with his firebending!!! so yes, it is the og killer from the start of the episode! he comes in and asks for kevin. saying he knows he’s here.

mom, now would be a good time to roll up with a gun. 

he picks up a family photo and sees kevin in a picture then checks the closet to see if he’s in there but kevin is in the hamper. and the hamper is bleeding!!! dead giveaway. 

but owen rolls up just as the firebender guy opens the hamper, and starts fighting for him!! so kevin is making a break for it!!!

he runs and runs and RUNS INTO MULDER!!!! scully is telling him that he will be okay.

they only find dead owen. no firebender.

and kevin asks scully if she was sent to protect him… she does not seem to know what to say because. do you mean like by the government... or jesus?

autopsy time!!!! she’s talking into the voice recorder like always. it always gives vlog energy. anyway, his body looks very much alive. despite the very much dead thing. 

mulder interrupts this. and scully asks him to SMELL the dude. he obliges. with only a smirk!

scully says he smells a bit… floral.

OMG!! OMG I RECOGNIZE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. they talk about it in the brothers karamazov, how a holy body is said to stay intact and even smell good when it ought to be decomposing. so the real question is: is she imagining it?

i mean, she is the body expert. so i’d want to say no. but also, this dude was playing with her head. so it’s hard to say. i'd think she would identify the body correctly no matter what, but a little smell hallucination thanks to the power of suggestion cannot be ruled out in any situation.

AND SHE TALKS ABOUT IT!! apparently it is something you learn in catechism. okay, well i just picked it up from that summer i got through that book, but we all learn somewhere. mulder is like “you’re serious?” and i feel he should be encouraging this open discussion rather than ridiculing it. AND SHE STARTS NAMING SAINTS IT HAPPENED TO!

mulder is saying that those things didn’t really happen, and i’m not taking this from alien man.

mulder has transitioned into listening mode now. OH! SCULLY! she says:

“isn’t a saint or a holy person just another term for someone who’s abnormal?”

“do you really believe that?”

“i… believe in the idea that God’s hand can be witnessed. i believe he can create miracles, yes”

“even if science can’t explain them?”

“maybe that’s just what faith is”

YES! YES I AM CHEERING AND JUMPING UP AND DOWN. we were owed a scully-centric episode, and never did i even THINK we would get something so aligned with my interests that we’d start exploring her religious beliefs and how that intertwines with her faith in science and her work. that sounds like something i’d write a fic for because it’s hyper specific to my interests. but no. this is CANON!

mulder is saying that she shouldn’t get swept up in these things (and how ironic that the roles are reversed! it’s exquisite. we’ve found his weak point, he’ll believe in anything but a Christian God)

scully is lost in thought. taking a deep breath. steeling herself.

pause. it’s a scene change. but mulder has a pencil in his teeth. it’s adorable, really. he takes it out to write something.

they pulled prints from owen’s neck!! burned right onto the skin. and they found who did it!! the man i was previously calling the firebender, his real name is simon gates, one of the south’s wealthiest men, arrested 3 years ago on a DUI. 

so then he went to israel, and this is how i learned of something called “jerusalem syndrome”, where people come back from the holy land with religious delusions. i have not heard of this before. but it could be a motive. except for the whole burning fingerprints into necks thing. i'm unfamiliar with any sort of place turning you into prince zuko.

okay, so someone saw kevin with his mom the same time he was seen with a social worker??? doubles?? twins??? ghosts??

kevin and his mom are on the side of the road with a broken down car, when who pulls up but SIMON!!

she asks what he wants and he says “i think you know”, then kevin makes a break for it.

now. can an old man outrun a child? children have small legs, but boundless energy.

BUT HE’S RUNNING?? AND ANOTHER KEVIN GETS OUT OF THE CAR??? to talk to his injured mom. then running kevin DISAPPEARED!!! AND MOM HITS THE DUDE WITH A CAR!!!

sadly, it wasn’t out of excellent aim that she hit him, but rather because she had her face smacked into the ground by simon and was concussed or something similar. she drove into a ditch. 

NO!!! KEVIN IS SAYING SHE DIED BECAUSE OF HIM. DEATH??? I JUST THOUGHT WE WERE DEALING WITH CONCUSSION HERE?

i guess it can be a quick trip from one to the next. but i'm sad for poor kevin.

scully is near him, telling him she promises she won’t let simon hurt kevin. OH LORD, YOU GOT HER PROMISING THINGS, SMALL CHILD.

he doesn’t want to go back to the shelter. and she says he doesn’t have to. are they going to take this small child for a bit….?

she avoids mulder’s gaze when telling him she wants kevin to come with them, saying she is not getting personally involved, but like mulder is gonna complain having a kid around. 

(he actually didn't seem to have his typical instincts kick in today. how curious...)

and turns out simon rented the car under the name of one of the devil’s disciples. yikes!

so creepy simon is watching this go down despite being hit by a car. 

back to the motel. scully is running kevin a bath and sees he has a big scratch on his side. from the crash… or?

mulder is fake pouting. “you never draw my bath” JCHDJSBJSND

she’s freaked out because she knows that cut was NOT there before. OH? is it the jesus spear thing??

she is busting out her theological training- he could be in two places at once, like st. ignatius! and mulder is talking about how it was all a metaphor, that bible. mulder, if you are dismissive ONE more time...

OH, I GASPED AT THIS NEXT PART. HOLD ON I NEED TO WRITE THIS DOWN:

“how is it that you’re able to go out on a limb whenever you see a light in the sky, but you’re unwilling to accept the possibility of a miracle, even when it’s right in front of you?”

“i wait for a miracle every day, but what i’ve seen here has only tested my patience, not my faith”

“well, what about what i’ve seen?” 

UGH. how PERFECT is that dialogue!!! how brilliant is that exchange!!! why is what she has seen less believable than his x files and aliens and beasts? he spends so long looking to his own stars that he’s forgotten others can form constellations as well. and how often does the narrative favor him, his thoughts running like a prey animal, chasing and chasing any sort of lead. why can’t she have something that cuts her to the quick just as deeply?

sure, science is great, science is the building block of her reality. but you can’t change the way you grew up, either, the pattern recognition, the fear of the divine. and she’s never had trouble balancing the two, we just haven’t had a reason to see them interact before, because she generally compartmentalizes the day to day world and the spiritual- and how many of us can say we do the same? probably most, if we believe in anything at all. but then it comes straight to a head- and after she has been through so much as well, losing her dad, her kidnapping, her coma, losing mulder and her job (which luckily came back), losing her sister forever- is it selfish to want there to be a caring force out in the universe?

but on the flip side, that means that there is real and genuine evil, forces of the devil and hell- unless you think it’s poetry, like mulder does. but wouldn’t that explain all the suffering she’s been through? the horrific things this job has showed her? and wouldn’t it be worth it in the end to go through that all if you know it was to be defeated?

okay i just spend so long typing that up the screen went dark. SORRY SORRY I’M COMING BACK I PROMISE!!! I JUST GET EMOTIONAL.

NOOO! a weird noise was heard, so mulder kicks down the now locked door where kevin was supposed to be taking a bath. AND THE WINDOW WAS MELTED OPEN!! so scully basically comes face to face with the evil that must be real if miracles are as well. oh! i’m eating this up.

but she promised him he would be safe! so this is not looking good!

she wants to go talk to his father again. and mulder doesn’t want to, but she is NOT taking no for an answer. 

kevin’s father is not coming up with an answer. the doctors have increased his meds and he’s very foggy. 

she asks again about the full circle to find the truth thing. and she runs out, in a daze.

mulder gets a call that there has been a simon spotting, but she doesn’t hear; she’s pointing at a recycling bin, saying that it’s arrows that form a circle. she thinks he’s at a recycling plant; he thinks he’s at the airport.

mulder asks if she thinks she’s the one that was chosen to protect him. and she says she doesn’t know; her voice cracks as she says that if she’s wrong, she’ll meet him at the airport. OH! religious burdens, the divine pressure of fate. he watches her leave, looking troubled.

at the recycling plant- and simon IS there, saying kevin has to die, for everyone, so the new age will come. and his hands are bleeding again. all the others were false.

SCULLY AMBUSH!!! but simon is taking him into a recycling chopper. AND HE DROPS HIM IN!!! we see chopping occur!!! but it was SIMON AND NOT KEVIN THAT WAS CHOPPED!!! kevin caught himself on the ledge!!!! she pulls him up.

he says he knew she’d come, and they hug so so so tight, and she places a kiss on his head when she’s holding him, and i’m gonna cry like a baby

when they’re getting him around to leave, she says that maybe she’ll see him again sometime, and he says that she will.

and scully looks like she’s crying- i don’t think she is, but she puts her head in her hand- mulder comes in and asks if she’s okay. she says she thinks so, and he holds out her jacket to put on. it might have been the most tender thing i have ever seen. he says they need to go make a statement; she asks him to do it alone, she has to go run an errand.

again, she mostly avoids his eyes. but he agrees, and goes to make the statement alone. he doesn't press.

AND SHE GOES TO CONFESSION???? FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 6 YEARS??? she starts talking about not being able to discuss something with mulder. she asks about miracles; if she was seeing things when it comes to saving kevin, or if she was imagining them. 

she doubts herself because mulder didn’t believe them!!!!!!!!!!! and usually he believes without question!!!

maybe they weren’t meant for him, maybe they were meant for YOU, he says. and she asks if this was to bring her back; he says “sometimes we must come full circle to find the truth”

and it makes her afraid!!!! that god is speaking but no one is listening!!!!

WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS EPISODE. NO. NO, HOLD ON I’M GONNA LOOK THIS UP. 

KIM NEWTON. KIM. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS ME ON THIS PLANET. NO ONE ELSE DOES.

wow okay. i’m going to be pacing my room about this for 100 years. there are going to be think pieces about this, from me, for the foreseeable future. i’m losing my MIND.

i don’t think i could have cooked up a more perfect episode if i had tried. something centered on scully entirely (mulder has had his fair share of attention), something about faith, something where she questions what she holds close and why she holds it close and what it means that she does so at all. what it means for there to be human good and human evil and divine good and divine evil. how god speaks to people and how we listen. or hear things that he didn’t say, like simon did. 

holy FUCK i literally could not think of anything better. and i have SO much to say. i already SAID SO MUCH, too. like i’m seriously bouncing off the walls right now. whatever love i had for scully before just quadrupled- and who knew this was even possible??

for things to be reversed, for mulder to try and talk her out of a belief, how bizarre that must have felt to him, and how cold it felt. how he just couldn’t see it, how his not being able to see it drove her to doubt herself, how she must doubt herself already, but that sprung everything to the surface. how she doubts that god would use her. and use her for good. 

but still, despite his lack of understanding, despite his trying to get her to think rationally- he is there for her, even if he doesn't get it, even if he could have done better. the way he held her jacket while she processed everything, the way he didn't question her needing time for herself. somethings are best left unspoken.

lord, i’m gonna have to stop there because if i don’t. i just might never shut up ever ever ever. and i still need to proofread all my raw notes, and i’m sure i’ll think of something else to say.

i started this episode AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO LMAOOOO i just had SO much to pause and observe and say which is NOT a complaint in the slightest. 

wow. new fave episode i think. i’ll have to add it to the list. 

please let me know what you thought- are there any other scully truthers out there who lost their minds over this? did you like the episode? is it disliked and i'm strange for going on such a ramble? did you have trouble reconciling faith scully and science scully? personally i don't, but i could see how some people might. did you find mulder too dismissive? or did you think he was trying his best? some combination of both? did scully protecting that kid make you emotional? please, spill EVERYTHING. i always want you to spill everything, but now so even more than usual.

[fictionadventurer]

Because @maltheniel has enabled me, I'm going to tell you about William Henry Seward.

If you had the American history education that I had, you might have heard of a thing called Seward's Folly--also known as Alaska. Seward was the Secretary of State who was mocked for buying America territory in what appeared to be a barren wasteland, until he was vindicated by the discovery of oil and gold and a jillion other useful natural resources. If you had the education that I had, this is the only thing you heard about him, but the more I look into the Civil War, the more baffling this is, because this guy is everywhere in the political scene of the time.

Seward was an extremely vocal anti-slavery Whig from New York. He started as a US Senator in 1849, and he became part of President Zachary Taylor's inner circle, influencing him to support measures to keep slavery out of the new territories. After Taylor died, the question of slavery in the territories dominated politics for the next decade, with the conflict getting more heated and the positions getting more polarized. The Whig Party fell apart because of disagreements over the issue; Seward held on for as long as he could, but eventually joined the newly-forming Republican Party, and became well-known for his eloquent speeches against slavery.

When it came time to choose the Republican nominee for the 1860 presidential election, Seward was by far the top candidate. All but a shoe-in. Unfortunately, some of his anti-slavery speeches were a bit too eloquent, and gave him a reputation for being much more radically anti-slavery than he was. A significant portion of the party doubted he could win a nationwide election when slavery was such a divisive issue. This gave Lincoln's team a chance to pitch him as a less-radical option, which allowed him to come from behind and win the nomination.

Seward was extremely gracious about the loss, immediately publishing letters announcing his full support of Lincoln as candidate, and putting his own campaign manager to work getting Lincoln elected. Privately, though, he was seething. He had been in politics for decades, helped to build the party, and then lost his chance at the presidency to a guy who'd been working as a backwoods lawyer for the last twelve years.

But he knew his politics, and knew it was better to support the party's candidate than to oppose him. Lincoln offered Seward the prime Cabinet position of Secretary of State--he was qualified for it and deserved it--and Seward accepted. Seward hoped that he'd be able to help select the other Cabinet members, so he could pick people from his own faction who he'd work well with. Then he, with his extensive connections and political experience, could be the real head of the administration, with Lincoln as a compliant figurehead.

Lincoln was having none of it. He listened to Seward's suggestions, but he'd basically already chosen the people he wanted for his Cabinet, across all factions of the party. While he made use of Seward's expertise and trusted him as Secretary of State, he was going to be head of his own administration and be the one making all the final decisions. After a rocky start, Seward came to recognize that Lincoln had a shrewd mind and good judgement, and he became Lincoln's loyal supporter and a good friend.

But there was a persistent idea that Seward was the real power behind the throne, sparked partly by the prominent role he took in Washington between the election and the inauguration. States started seceding almost as soon aa Lincoln was elected, and Seward was the one who had to hold things together in Washington while Lincoln was tying things up in Illinois. He was getting reports from informants, watching out for Southern spies, and keeping Lincoln abreast of what was going on. He gave a stirring speech to Congress urging the Southern states to keep the Union together, offering all sorts of concessions to mollify them, such as amendments preventing the federal government from interfering with slavery. It was a highly controversial speech, and his wife, Frances, raked him over the coals for it. She understood, earlier than almost anybody, that this crisis would turn into a long war about slavery, and that they couldn't afford to bend on that issue, even to keep the Union together. (Lincoln privately approved of several measures Seward talked about, but publicly said little, preferring to see the public's response to Seward before taking official positions.)

Seward was a little bit like a Civil War version of Evil Chancellor Traytor. Under both Lincoln and Johnson, rumors persisted that Seward was the shadowy figure who was really in charge, secretly manipulating the president into making unpopular decisions, even though most of the time, Seward had nothing to do those decisions, and often disagreed at least partially with what the president chose to do.

Best example of the effects of this misconception is the time Seward came under attack during the middle of the war. The war was going badly, and since people couldn't directly attack the president, they started going after Seward. Chase, the Treasury Secretary, told some members of Congress that Seward was the reason the Cabinet couldn't get along, and that he was always trying to take control. These senators wanted to meet with the president and force him to get rid of Seward. When Seward heard about this, he gave Lincoln his letter of resignation, not wanting to cause problems for the administration. Lincoln responded by allowing the senators to join in a Sewardless Cabinet meeting. When confronted with both the senators and the Cabinet, Chase was forced to admit that his stories had been exaggerated, and the other Cabinet members rallied to Seward's defense, resenting Congress' meddling. Lincoln refused to accept Seward's resignation, and Seward returned to the Cabinet, having been saved by Lincoln's political acumen.

I'm going to skip ahead so I can tell you the craziest part of the story. Four days before the Civil War officially ended, Seward got into a carriage accident that left him bedridden with a broken jaw and a bunch of other injuries. When told of Lee's surrender on April 9th, Seward said (through a broken jaw, after barely surviving a painful accident), "For the first time in my life, you've made me cry." (Which is both touching and an incredibly badass claim, given what he's just suffered.)

Five days later, John Wilkes Booth shot the president at Ford's Theater. Everyone knows (or should know) that part of the story. What I didn't know was that his conspiracy also called for Seward's assassination. Booth knew his Shakespeare and didn't want to leave Seward alive as a Marc Antony to eulogize the dead tyrant. (He also wanted to kill Andrew Johnson, but that assassin chickened out, and it's not really important to this story).

While Booth was at the theater, his co-conspirator went to Seward's house under the pretense of delivering medication. When Seward's son wouldn't let him go upstairs, the assassin tried to shoot him and broke his skull with the gun. The assassin then made his way to Seward's bedroom--where, I need you to remember, Seward was still bed-ridden--and stabbed him five times in the face and neck. Like, sliced away flaps of flesh. The only reason Seward didn't die was because the splint for his broken jaw deflected the blade away from his jugular vein. And because his other son and bodyguard made it into the room and forced the assassin to flee.

Chalk this one up in the "Parts of American History I'm Furious No One Told Me About" column.

While Seward was recovering, they hid the president's death from him, thinking he wouldn't survive the shock. But he figured it out three days later when he saw the flags at half-staff through his bedroom window, and realized that if Lincoln were alive, he'd have been the first to come see Seward after the attack.

Of course, Seward survived (badly scarred) and went on to buy Alaska. Which is an interesting story. But not half so interesting as all the stuff that came before it.

[sallieraptor]

oh fuck... so he really threw himself into the fire for his mother... the first thing he thought of was going to her tent to try to save her ...

(this is a ghostfuckers storyboard animated by Raphielle, they posted it a few days ago on their youtube channel)

[jamesunderwater]

Jily Microfic: Befriend

@jilymicro-oops - feb 24th, prompt: befriend - words: 1,376 Summary: I got bit by the Academic Rivals to Lovers bug. Lily got bit my a Venomous Tentacula.

Lily shrieked, jumping just out of reach of the Venomous Tentacula’s thorny vine. “Damn thing!” She spat, pulling off her gloves and throwing them to the ground. Wrenching the hair tie from her wrist, Lily pulled her frizzing hair into a secure knot on the top of her head, glaring at the plant as she did so. It seemed to be dancing gleefully in response to her frustration, its vines swaying in circles around its trunk. 

Though Lily was far from the only student yelling swear words at their Tentacula, her shrill tone cut through the rest, drawing James’s attention. He’d been watching as her face collected increasingly more dirt, his eyes unintentionally falling to the rapid rising and falling of her chest as her frustration grew. 

She seemed in particular need of help, though. It was one thing to watch her struggle with twisted enjoyment, but another thing altogether to let her be maimed. 

Lily didn’t notice his saunter – if she’d seen it, she’d likely have given him a few choice words not dissimilar to those she’d given her plant. James arrived at her side with ungloved hands in his pockets, tutting.

“Well, your first mistake was not having your hair up. Really, Evans, I know you’re at least smarter than that.”

Over the years, James had developed a scale for measuring Lily Evans’s rage. It ranged from Level 1 - hardly simmering at all, really more amused than anything; entirely too adorable; dangerous to be around for extended periods of time, to Level 8 - teetering on the very edge of casting a violent spell; a roaring fire should beware her presence; back away as slowly as possible. (It had started with only five levels, but as they got older, the range of her anger increased. James would have liked to make it a rounded ten, of course, but didn’t want to force the issue, and figured they still had a year of school left – there was time yet to discover new levels.)

The glare she gave him now said she was nearing Level 7 – outbursts almost 100% certain; taunting, at this time, would be similar to goading a mother bear with her cubs; warning, warning: will likely ignore you for a week if you decide to taunt anyway. In any other instance, James would have done everything he could to avoid losing Lily’s attention for an entire week. But…Merlin, Level 7 was entertaining.

Read the rest on AO3!

[sadrockandwaltzes]

AVPD in A Separate Peace

I was just reading about Avoidant Personality disorder and it was making me think of Gene

Minor spoilers for the book, also don't take anything I say that seriously because I only read maybe a paragraph on the subject before thinking about how it could fit into him😅 It's just another lens to view him under, not a headcanon.

"Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by the avoidance of social situations or interactions that involve risk of rejection, criticism, or humiliation"- MSD Manual

Gene's constantly worried about what people think and will think so he avoids doing anything that would put himself out there if not for Finny. Without him, he keeps to himself. Anything goofy or against the rules, that draws attention in any way is out. He's pissed about getting a bad grade for a myriad of reasons, but I'd say part of it is how humiliating and shameful it feels to fail (or what'd he get, a C?) Obviously the other huge issue is he's on a scholarship and needs to keep his grades up to maintain it, but he's also the kind of person who always needs to know the exact details of everything to feel in control, because he's scared of the unknown and of not being prepared. He admires and resents that Finny's not like that at all.

He tries to shut up Leper and Brinker's criticisms or alternate ideas about what happened in the tree by laughing them off and trying to avoid the conversations. When Leper states that "you always were a savage underneath" he completely blows up, taking the criticism much worse than he needs to, simply because it agrees with his dismal view of himself that he's trying to outrun by projecting his negative feelings onto others

Gene's friendship with Finny was fine. They were close, it was great, but then his feelings of low self worth and doubt kicked in, and he started wondering why Finny was friends with him, and when he would drop him. It was because of this that he started looking for flaws or negative traits and Finny, and came up with his paranoid idea that the guy was trying to foil him, and that the friendship wasn’t genuine. Because he was scared of being too close to him; of someone knowing him. So he had to sabotage their friendship.

That moment on the beach was meaningful for Finny, but terrifying for Gene. That sort of genuine spoken emotion and sentiment was too much for Gene, who wasn't used to being close to people in the first place, and it spooked him. He felt like he'd gotten too close, that he was out of his depth, that he wasn't the person Finny should be saying this too. For someone who'd always been an outsider, that sort of unconditional acceptance was unfamiliar/couldn't fit into his understanding of the world, and thus he no longer felt comfortable in their relationship. He was back in foreign territory.

I wouldn't say that this reading necessarily changes any of our thoughts about the text, it sort of presents the main conflicts as Gene's self loathing, and his inability to accept love which I think most of us already talk about all the time. I just thought it was interesting thinking about. Finny didn't have the sort of experience he had growing up, so these feelings are difficult for him to comprehend.

(Also I know I was saying the same thing a million times with slightly different phrasings😅 just wanted to get my thoughts out. It also kind of explains the way he holds everyone else at a distance and doesn't have real friends outside of Finny.)

[unopenablebox]

there are all sort of self-deprecating people with high standards for their niche activities i encounter on tumblr but the ones who really warn me off learning about their hobby the most are serious Dog People involved in the Dog World (constantly in some kind of hideous agony about their dog's tail being slightly too high in a way no casual observer would find possible to perceive). this is surmounted only by Dog People who also have a hobby of Semi-Serious Photography that they seem to have started while trying to get good at photographing the dog. those people can be miserable about the quality of the photograph and the quality of the dog simultaneously while still never making a single complaint over years that im even remotely capable of comprehending

areas where it seems actively self-defeating for your ability to enjoy the activity if you learn too much information about it

[bisexualamy]

my sister got married yesterday in the chabad shul we grew up in and it was a lovely wedding and i'm excited to have a brother (never had one before) but ALSO i need everyone to know that, after attending this shul for over a decade regularly and another decade intermittently (when i'm back to see my parents) i thought i'd found every picture of the Rebbe they'd hung up but i discovered, at 9pm after a long day full of wedding, while putting the chuppah away, that he does in fact also watch over us from the supply closet

[stardestroyer81]

Surprise!

Just in time for the holidays, I bring you something special today— the long-awaited ninth installment of my Lovers of Aether incorrect quote series! Seeing as I've started to dip my paws back into the Aether franchise, I thought that it would be a well enough time to concoct another set of ten incorrect quotes starring all your favorites.

And it doesn't stop there; this is the first installment to be fully equipped with image IDs! I'm hoping to go back and write IDs for the previous eight parts sometime soon, but for now, consider this a treat for anyone that uses a screen reader! 💙✨

As always, for the best experience, click on each quote to get a better look at each one; it will also help separate one quote from the next!

Previous Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

While I'm not entirely sure when the ceremonious tenth installment will arrive, I can say with full certainty that I'm going to go all out with that one, in that I'll more than likely include more than the usual ten quotes alongside brand new text boxes! For now, I hope that these were worth the near-two year wait! 💖✨

[juliareed]

Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Irina + Nadia/Elena, Nadia/Roberto, Nadia/Sloane Song: Would've, Could've, Should've by Taylor Swift Summary: Exploring some of the parallels between Sark and Nadia, by comparing Sark’s relationship with Irina to Nadia’s relationships with Sloane, Elena and Roberto. Content warnings: Character death, child abuse, needles, torture, violence, flashing lights

[shadystranger]

You're a good man, dean. everything you've ever done you've done for the right reasons. You're a good man, dean. everything you've ever done you've done for the right reasons. You're a good man, dean. You'll never hear me say the real you is anything but good. The mark is evil not you. You summoned me because you knew I would do anything to protect you. You're not an evil man, dean. You're a good man crying to be heard. You had a good reason, dean. You let Michael in because you were protecting me, dean. You're a good man, dean. everything you've ever done you've done for the right reasons

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

chris ryan casually dropping a joking use of "the great work continues"... continuing to prove himself the ringer person i would most enjoy hanging out with in real life despite on paper the two of us having nothing in common except a deep love for the david fincher movie zodiac

[joycrispy]

Very quietly, the one year anniversary of the end of The Horrors passed sometime in the last two weeks.

It was a fantastic year. I am so fucking grateful to be free.

[delkios]

Still can't get over the fact that after a year (two?) with the Empire, Scorch makes commander while Boss led one of the top commando squads for three years with the Republic and never got promoted passed sergeant.

[xiyao-feels]

This is extremely indirect but honestly that last post also makes me think of Jin Zixuan.

The thing is I think he does, actually, have some culpability in his own death. Not because he provoked!!! WWX!!!! (facepalm), but because—

In inviting WWX to JL's one month party, he was implicitly offering WWX safe passage from the Jin. And as it turns out that's not actually something he has the power to offer WWX—not because of JGY, remember, this is literally JGS' suggestion:

Jin Ling’s full-month celebration just so happened to be near, to which Jin ZiXuan actually invited Wei WuXian. Jin GuangShan wasn’t too fond of this idea to begin with, and so he suggested that Jin ZiXun use this as an opportunity, killing Wei WuXian on his way to the banquet. This way, he wouldn’t have to come to Koi Tower either.

(ER translation, ch 76; emphasis mine)

Jin Zixuan just does not have the power to offer WWX safety from the Jin. And he should have known that. But he doesn't, because from what we can tell he's absented himself from Jin politics all his life. And like, don't get me wrong, that's an extremely understandable urge—but it's one he can only get away with because his parents are indulging him. And then because he does this he does not even realize that he doesn't have the power to safely invite WWX to JL's one month party, and with all good intent and with all total ignorance he invites his wife's shidi straight into what ends up being an ambush.

His power and privilege protect him from the consequences of his ignorance: and then they don't, and it ends up killing him.

[they-didnt-last]

update: i started reading 'the empty grave' last night, but i was too tired to read more than a couple of chapters. anyway, i've been reading it since i woke up and i just realized it is 3:30pm and i haven't had lunch yet