#had to wait a bit to post this because it wasn’t officially Valentine’s Day yet where I live lol

[tearosesarts]

Hope you have a great day @tearosesarts! 💘💝

Thank you!💖

[dukeofonions]

So I thought I’d try something a little different (and slightly more fun than my usual saltiness) and do my own little personal ranking of Sanders Sides episodes! 

Now I actually haven’t watched anything from the series for awhile so these rankings are going to be based purely on my own memories of each episode and how much I remember enjoying them. I’ll also be splitting the rankings up so I’ll do season one today and season two later on.

Eventually I want to go back and actually rewatch everything but I’ll probably wait until the season two finale comes out (whenever the heck that will be) but until then I think this will cover it.

Also important to note is that I will not be counting Asides in this since 

1. I’m salty

 2. It’s not supposed to be Sanders Sides anyway so why include it?

and 3. I’m very salty.

Alright, let the ranking begin!

Dang, can you believe season one has seventeen episodes? Starting with My True Identity on October 19th, 2016 and ending with Accepting Anxiety on July 15th, 2017. 

These episodes were a lot shorter too. The longest one, Growing Up, is only about 15 minutes long (14:39 to be exact because I already have the playlist pulled up to get all these references so I might as well use the info I have) and the shortest episode was Way Too Adult that barely makes it to the four minute mark. (Okay it’s 4:18 but that’s still closer to four) 

It’s really interesting to see how much the series changed just throughout season one alone, especially once it shifts from just being a silly series of one shots to a series with more fleshed out characters and beginning to scratch the surface of dealing with heavier topics. 

How did it do for me personally? Well if you made it this far I assume you actually want to know my opinion so I’ll go ahead and tell you...

For real now, let the ranking begin!

*cue drum roll*

#17 I'm in a Disney Show

Yeah this one is pretty forgettable, and it really sticks out like a sore thumb among the other episodes in this series since it’s based on something that happened in real Thomas’s life and later on they try to establish that Sanders Sides isn’t about real Thomas. Not only that there wasn’t much in this episode that stuck out as funny to me. The only bit I actually remember laughing at was when the Sides were throwing around click bait titles. 

So yeah, boring episode, feels out of place, moving on.

#16 Becoming a Cartoon

Like with the last one this one is just very forgettable to me. It also features someone who turned out to be a pretty shitty person so I can’t even watch it without feeling uncomfortable.

The only thing I remember laughing at was Patton holding a potato. 

#15 My True Identity

Okay I know it’s harsh putting the first episode so low on the list, especially when most of my problems with it stem from it being made before there were any intentions to make it a series, but like the first two it’s also kinda boring. I mean on it’s own it does a good job of introducing people to the basic idea of the series and gives an idea of what the characters are like, but they all basically act like the same person (yes I’m aware of the irony) with just one or two minor things to set them apart. 

Can’t really hate this one like the other two since, again, this was made with no intention of plot or character development, so it’s only this low because it doesn’t really stick out to me. But hey, it did its job at getting people interested in the characters so in that aspect it did its job perfectly.

#14 Taking On Anxiety

Oh the second hand embarrassment in this episode is too much to bear. Honestly any episode that has Thomas interacting with someone from real life just feels so weird to me and takes me out of the episode. However, I do actually have a bit more positive things to say about this one. The advice they give is actually helpful, and my gosh I love pre-AA Virgil. 

The snark, the sass, it’s easy to see why he became a fan favorite so fast. And fortunately for me, there’s plenty of episodes for me to love him in before I start to hate him. 

#13 Way Too Adult

This is gonna sound repetitive but again, forgettable. Doesn’t give me second hand embarrassment or make me feel negative in any way so that’s why it’s higher than the others. And hey, 13 is one of my favorite numbers so that’s gotta count for something right?

The best part of this episode is Patton, I really miss the earlier version of him where he actually took on more of a fatherly figure and had more of a serious side. Not that I don’t like him now and I still think he’s one of the better written in the series (more on that in another post) but it’s kinda nice to see him being portrayed in a way that doesn’t feel like he’s being dumbed down for laughs or is just sad and confused.

#12 The Mind vs The Heart

Or as I like to call it “Selfishness vs Selflessness in Five Minutes.” This episode is way too relatable which is both fun but also I don’t need the reminder that I can’t say “no” to people, but that’s a me problem not the episode’s. I like the format of using cutaways to show examples of how Logan and Patton clash in Thomas’s day to day life and honestly I wish they’d use it more since I think they only do it in this episode and in Growing Up but I could be wrong and I’m too lazy to check.

All in all this a cute little episode (and not cute for the reason you might think) and I enjoy it. 

#11 Accepting Anxiety Part One

Honestly not much to say about this one? It’s funny watching Thomas’s antics while the Sides have to try and figure out what’s going on. Which is a nice change of pace from the usual “The Sides are being goofy and zany and Thomas has to try and get them on track” that I kinda notice throughout season one and that starts to change to become the norm in season two, but I’ll get to that later. 

Reason this one isn’t as high as others is just because besides that one gimmick of Thomas saying and doing silly stuff is that there isn’t much beyond that, and of course that’s just because this is the first part of a two part episode so I’ll give it grace for that. Still a great set up though and is funny on its own. 

#10 The Dark Side of Disney

Alright, we’ve made it to the top 10! Here’s where things start to get interesting.

Personally, I find this episode hilarious because I do this kind of stuff to “kid’s films” all the time. Never to actual kids but to adults, it’s fun to see just how dark I’ll go. 

Of course this isn’t really what the episode does, it talks more about the messages in these movies as opposed to talking about how “dark” they are. Which, now that I look back I clicked on this episode thinking that it was going to be a part of the latter and had no idea it was a Sanders Sides episode. Maybe that’s how I found the series? I always forget which episode was my first...

Back to the episode, it also establishes Virgil and Roman’s little dynamic of being rivals and I love it. They have some of the best exchanges in the series and it’s fun watching them go head to head here, and even bonding a little as well. All in all, fun episode that provides some good character moments and some laughs. 

#9 A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!

Just the song, man. It slaps. 

But am I the only one miffed that Virgil technically got a villain song (about lying no less) and Janus didn’t? Not even an evil reprise? Yeah that’s some bull spit right there.

#8 Growing Up

Aw, the first name reveal episode on this list! This episode is a lot of fun, mostly because of the scenarios they come up with and the little cutaways they add in. Seriously. Just use these more instead of going to these great lengths to show us something that can be accomplished in six seconds of footage. 

It also has one of my favorite moments with Logan quietly asking Patton what they’re doing wrong after Thomas tries to force himself into the “serious adult role.” I really got a soft spot for this episode and honestly talking about it makes me wanna watch it again, but I’ll hold off for now. 

And I think Patton has one of the best name reveals. Like Thomas really thought his name was Pattoncake, and Patton’s reaction is priceless. I still want to know what “Pattoncake” actually is and how it’s played, but part of me also accepts that it’s probably better if we never know. 

#7 Making Some Changes

Why are Thomas’s friends so good at acting as Thomas acting as his characters? Seriously half the time when I watch this episode my brain doesn’t acknowledge that the Sides are now being played by different people until halfway through. 

This episode is one of the funniest in my opinion, and one I remember coming back to a lot. Do I still want an episode where the Sides pretend to be each other? Yes. Do I know it’ll probably never happen and if it did they’d find some way to just make it full of angst? Yes, yes I do.

#6 Alone on Valentine's Day

The first episode to be officially cowritten by Joan, and it’s great. It’s hilarious, and just seeing all the varying ways each Side tries to portray their idea of romance is the cherry on top. What more can I say about this episode other than I’m curious as to what Janus and Remus would have contributed to a conversation like this, maybe they’ll do another episode like this in the future with their inclusion, but who knows what the heck they’re doing at this point.

#5 Sanders Sides Q&A

Top 5 here we go!!! This is when ranking started to get difficult because I love all of these episodes so much. Especially this one. I think I’ve watched this one more than any of them and why not? It’s just pure goofball shenanigans and seriously, Thomas, why haven’t you done another one yet? Especially with Janus and Remus?! I mean I get if you’re waiting for “all the characters” but come on man! I need more of the energy this episode gives off.

#4 My Negative Thinking

This episode made me realize just how underrated Logan and Virgil’s relationship is. It’s also the second entry in the “Logan Fights Everyone” saga. I do love how this episode has actually helped me with my own negative thinking and I just freaking love Virgil’s sass in this. 

Did I mention I also love Logan and Virgil’s friendship? Ah, good times when they all more or less liked each other. 

#3 Losing My Motivation

The set up of this episode is just brilliant. Having it be a “mystery” for Logan to solve with Patton as his sidekick provided a lot of laughs and one of my favorite Logan moments with his little bit he does after realizing he was the “culprit” in all of this. Ugh, I really wanna watch some of these episodes now but I’m gonna hold out. 

One thing is that I feel like Logan got the short end of the stick with his name reveal. Like Patton just casually calls him by his name like it’s no big deal, yet pretty much all of the other names are revealed after some kind of emotional moment and are treated as a big deal. If Patton was comfortable enough to just call Logan by his actual name and Logan himself was fine with it then why didn’t any of them introduce themselves before? There’s not really an explanation within the series itself as to why this is or why the Sides even have names in the first place, like it makes sense why Virgil or Janus would hide their names but Logan, Roman, and Patton have been there since day one so what gives?

My personal headcanon is that the three of them had a bet going on to see how long they could go without calling each other by their names in front of Thomas and Patton lost because he forgot. 

#2 Am I Original?

Look, Roman is my favorite so of course he’s up here! Not only that but this episode resonates with me a lot as a creative person, and I just love watching the Sides trying all the ideas Roman comes up with.

And his name reveal is also great, probably my favorite one, and of course it’s followed by the now infamous, “You’re my hero” line. But I’m just gonna ignore what became of that and focus on the fact that Roman was actually happy at the end of this episode.

#1 Accepting Anxiety Part Two

What can I say other than this was the perfect way to end this season? Virgil has been the outsider of the group since day one, and seeing him go from this snarky antagonist to gradually being tired with the role until he decides that it would be better if he just wasn’t around at all. This episode has some funny moments too, but what sticks out to me are the more emotional ones. 

Roman’s entire speech to Virgil is just *cheff’s kiss* perfection. Their relationship has finally come full circle and when Virgil smiles at him? Ah it’s so good!!! Like the music, the acting, all of it comes together so perfectly and it makes my heart happy. 

Virgil’s name reveal is also great, after being teased about it over and over again we finally get the real thing and it’s executed perfectly. Although my favorite thing about this episode is probably the end card, it’s so sweet and makes me all sentimental. Why? I dunno, I’m supposed to be heartless but I somehow find my heart melting when Patton gives Virgil the card anyway. Ah, I love Virgil’s relationships with the others by the end of this season, and honestly I would have been satisfied if this had been the end of it.

Just a neat little way to wrap up this neat little series. 

Of course we all know that wasn’t the case and oh boy things certainly took a turn, but that is for another post! 

And that was the first part of my ranking! Like I said this list might change once I go back and watch the series again, but I’m pretty sure things won’t change much then. 

I’m actually surprised at how many happy memories I have with the season, like I seriously want to just go back and watch my favorite episodes again because I’m all up in the nostalgia but again, I’ll hold off for now. 

I hope y’all enjoyed this and I’d be curious to see other people’s rankings of season one. I’m glad I was able to have fun with this and just gush about the series for awhile because oh boy I know things are gonna be very different once I get to season two...

[kanawuts]

The Girl Who Loved Fairy Tales

Inspired by this post by @panncakes

I haven’t written anything in years, so apologies if this is terrible. This is set in alternate universe where Jane doesn’t die and none of the characters are involved in sex trafficking. 

Part 1

“Wait, you know him?”

Tan’s voice cut through Jane’s thoughts and she glanced up from her phone. “Hm?”

“Did you just say that you know the doctor?” He leaned closer to her, eyes wide and eager.

“Oh, yeah,” she said, tucking her phone back into her purse. Pued was calling her. Again. And she was ignoring him. Again. “He used to live here when we were kids. We were best friends.”

She and Tan had been holed up in the back corner of the only coffee shop in Viangpha Mork for the last twenty minutes, under the guise of “grading papers,” but so far neither of them had gotten much work done. Tan had seemed distracted since the arrived, fiddling with his pen and shuffling papers around and not saying much at all, until suddenly he’d looked up and said, “Did you hear that the hospital hired a new doctor? I saw him at The Mist last night.”

“Of course,” she said, wondering why he was bringing this up. “Bunn and I go way back. He—”

She was cut off by her phone screen lighting up, alerting her to yet another phone call from Pued. What was it? The fifth one today? Why hadn’t she blocked his number yet? She really needed to block his number.

Pushing her ex to the back of her mind and refocusing on the conversation at hand, she watched as Tan’s eyes seemed to grow brighter with excitement as she explained the childhood connection she and Bunn shared.

“No shit? You guys are friends? That’s great!”

She squinted at him suspiciously. “And why is that?”

Tan paused, considering his words. “He…kissed me. Last night at The Mist. He was absolutely wasted and he stumbled into me and…he kissed me.”

“Oh?” said Jane, raising an eyebrow. She’d always had her suspicions about Bunn’s sexuality. He’d never seemed interested in girls back in their middle and high school days, but she’d never asked him about it and then he’d moved away and they’d lost contact. “And how did you feel about that?”

“Um, have you seen him?” Tan asked. “How do you think I felt about it?”

She tilted her head, considering this. “I didn’t know you liked boys.”

Now it was his turn to raise an eyebrow. “You got a problem with that?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “No, of course not.”

Tan was a bit of an enigma. Despite the fact that they had been friends for several years now, sometimes she felt like she knew close to nothing about him. He never talked about his personal life. And then there was way he could shift from an earnest, almost innocent sweetness into someone downright intimidating and dangerous – she didn’t fully know what to make of him most of the time.

“Okay, great,” Tan said, leaning back in his seat. “So it’s settled then.”

“Huh? What’s settled?”

“You’ll introduce me to him! Officially.”

“I don’t remember saying I would do that.”

If it was possible for a person to actually make the pleading face emoji expression in real life, Tan was currently doing so.

“Jaaaaaane,” he whined. “Please. I really think he might be my soulmate.”

She looked at him in disbelief. “Your what?”

“I know that sounds crazy but hear me out. I’ve met him before. Well, not really ‘met,’ per se, but…had a run-in with. It was like eight years ago, back in college. He dropped some papers and I helped him pick them up and then he hurried off before I could introduce myself or get his name or anything and I’ve always been pissed at myself for not chasing him down. We had this connection, Jane, I swear we did. I can’t explain it, but I saw him and something…clicked. That sounds stupid, I know. But I’ve never been able to get him out of my mind. I’ll be having sex with someone and I’ll close my eyes and I’ll see his face. That has to mean something, right? A guy I said three words to years ago having that much of an impact on me? It has to mean something.”

Jane stared at him, completely caught off guard. He’d never opened up to her about something so personal before.

He buried his face in his hands and groaned. “God, why am I even telling you all this? You probably think I’m crazy.”

She reached out, taking one of his hands in her own and pulling it away from his face. “I don’t think you’re crazy,” she said, though that wasn’t exactly true. She quickly racked her brain for something positive to say about the situation. “I think…I think you have good taste. Bunn is the best person I know. I’m not surprised someone would spend eight years pining for him.”

Tan smiled slightly at that. “He’s really handsome,” he murmured.

Jane shook her head in disbelief. She had never seen him like this. “Well, I assume he’ll be at the party tomorrow night. I can introduce you there.”

“The party?”

“The hospital director’s birthday party! Tan, don’t tell me you forgot. You promised you’d be my date.

“Oh…right…”

He had definitely forgotten.

“Don’t even try to back out. You brother is going to be there. And my sister. I cannot face them alone, Tan. I really can’t.”

If there was one memory Jane wished she could erase from her mind forever, it was the sight of Pued and Rungtiva, together in bed. Even now, thinking about it, she felt sick to her stomach. But she couldn’t stop replaying the events in her head. Finishing up work early and deciding to go to Pued’s place to surprise him. Walking in on them. Letting out a shocked scream. Watching them spring apart. The look on Rung’s face, slightly smug, as she dressed and slipped out the door without a word to Jane. Pued’s tears and frantic apologies. “Jane, I’m sorry. I can explain. Please. Just listen to me. I’m so sorry. I love you. Please don’t leave.”

But she had left.

She sent him a text later. “We’re done,” was all it said. He hadn’t stopped calling her and texting her since. She really needed to block his number. Why couldn’t she bring herself to block his number?

Deep down, she knew why. Because he was the boy she’d loved for nearly her entire life. Her childhood friend who had finally turned into something more a year ago. She had truly believed she would spend the rest of her life with him, had truly believed he loved her and only her. But he had betrayed her. Tan thought that Bunn was his soulmate? What the hell did that mean anyway? Soulmate? Pued was her soulmate and he’d fucked her sister. It seemed to her that the whole concept was overrated and meaningless.

Wow. So there it was. She, Janejira Sookyod, the girl who loved fairy tales, the girl who cried watching cheesy rom-coms, the girl whose favorite holiday was Valentine’s Day, had become cynical and jaded.

“I’ll be there,” Tan said, pulling her from her thoughts.  He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “And I’ll kick Pued’s ass if he comes anywhere near you.”

**

Tan had stayed true to his word on that one. And unfortunately, he had to walk away from a conversation with Bunn to do so.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Tan,” she said quietly, as he drove her home. “You should have kept talking to Bunn. I can handle Pued on my own.”

Tan stared straight ahead, jaw clenched, hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly. “He hit you, Jane. You think I was just going to stand by and let him treat you like that?”

“I said some hurtful things to him,” she muttered.

Tan turned his head, the disbelief evident in his eyes. “He slept with your sister. Of course you said some hurtful things to him. Anyone would. That doesn’t excuse him putting his hands on you like that. Are you seriously defending him?”

“No, no, I just…” She trailed off, her head spinning. All she wanted was to change out of this dress into her comfiest pajamas, burrow under the covers of her bed, and stay there the rest of the weekend. “I just never thought he’d do something like that.”

“I’m really sorry this happened to you, Jane,” Tan said softly, seeming to recognize that she wasn’t in the mood to say anything else on the matter.

They drove the rest of the way home in silence.

**

Over the next week, Jane did her best to avoid thinking about Pued at all costs. Luckily, his attempts to contact her had stopped, besides one text he’d sent her the morning after the party that simply said “sorry.”

Sorry.

One word.

As if one word could possibly be enough to make up for what he had done.

She shook her head, as if she could shake the thought of him right out of her mind. This wasn’t what she needed to be focusing on right now. She was heading to the hospital to have lunch with Bunn and she was taking Tan with her. Mostly because he’d begged her to when she’d mentioned her lunch plans. But maybe this could prove to be a good distraction for her. Her own love life was in complete shambles, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t help out her friends with theirs.

She watched as Tan’s eyes lit up as soon as Bunn rounded the corner, and she smiled, really smiled, for the first time since the incident at the party.

Perhaps she hadn’t become completely jaded and cynical.

“I thought you were coming alone,” Bunn said, as he reached out to hug her.

“I was going to, but Tan was desperate to see you,” she murmured in his ear as he pulled her close, hopefully quietly enough that Tan couldn’t hear her.

Bunn pulled away, and she a saw a small, pleased smile dance at the corner of his lips before he cleared his throat and rearranged his features into an expression of disinterest, as if anyone was going to buy that. He was the one who’d kissed Tan, after all.

She grinned. The two of them were going to make the cutest couple.

**

An hour later, she and Tan were heading back to her car when she heard someone shout her name.

They both turned, and Jane was surprised to see a doctor running towards them. She recognized her, but she didn’t know her name. How did the doctor know hers?

“Sorry,” the doctor said, coming to a stop in front of them. “I hope I didn’t startle you. Your Ariel keychain fell off your bag.”

Jane let out a little gasp. “Oh my god, thank you so much!” she exclaimed, as the doctor handed the keychain over. “I would have been devastated to lose her.”

“It’s really cute. I love the Little Mermaid,” the doctor said with a smile. “I’m Fai, by the way.”

To be continued...

Part 2

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns  are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

[godofplumsandthunder]

Our First I Do

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Warning: None, if you feel something needs a tag please DM me

A/N: EEEP! It’s done! The final chapter and post 1 of 2 for today’s Week of love! I’ve loved our two idiots journey and Peter learning all about his guncles. I hope you love this chapter as much as I did while writing it! Hope y’all had a fun and safe Valentine’s day!

For the first time, Peter is absolutely silent. No quick comments or funny quips. He’s dead silent as he just stares at his hands. He wanted angst, and he got it. The constant and persistent fear that Bucky and Steve experienced in the ‘30s is as big a part of their love story, as the dates and romantic moments. And sometimes, even Steve and Bucky forget those parts too. It’s easy living in a time where they can be together to forget how bad things really were back then. That the past tends to be romanticized. Still, they didn’t expect Peter to just… turn off.

Letting go of Bucky, Steve scooches over closer to Peter.

“Hey, Petey, you doing okay?”

Peter nods, still looking down, “yeah, I just… Like I’m with MJ right now, but I do have feelings and crushes about some of the guys in my grade. And well, if I was born at the wrong time, I’d have to hide that part of me! I- how did you do it? I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Hide myself and always have to be acting… I…”

Steve pulls Peter into a hug, “Oh Peter. First, I didn’t know that about you. That you’re bisexual, right?” Peter nods, as Steve smiles, “well, thank you for telling us that Pete. And we’re here for you if you need anything. I don’t have that much experience with gals, but Bucky here is bisexual too. We’re here for you Peter. And while we still have lots to do, you can be out and proud Peter. If you want to marry a man you can.”

Pulling Bucky closer to Steve, he smiles at Peter, “in fact, I think that’s what we’re going to end on, Peter. Bucky and mine first Valentine’s day together, which just so happens to be our anniversary.”

Peter looks up, “You got married on Valentine’s Day?!”

“Yeah, and it’s quite the tale too.”

----- For the first time in over 70 years, Steve was finally back home, with the love of his life. Thankfully, after the initial shock of finding out the truth behind the deaths of Howard and Maria Stark, Tony calmed down a bit. He was angry, rightfully so, but Steve was able to talk some sense into him. That Bucky wasn’t at fault. That Tony should be mad at Hydra. They were the real ones behind his parents' death. Tony left them, wanting to go after the remnants of Hydra, though he promised he’d try to sort out the Accords and let Bucky and Steve come back to the States, for the meantime they decided to take T’Challa on his offer to stay in Wakanda.

Steve didn’t think that he’d enjoy living in Wakanda. Mainly due to the fact that for him, home was Bucky and Brooklyn. They only left for the war. Their loved ones were buried there and that’s where he wants to spend the rest of his life with Bucky, in peace. But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, he realized it didn’t matter where they lived. Bucky was thriving here in Wakanda. Shuri was able to deprogram the triggers and even made him a new arm. For the first in 70 years, he was free from Hydra. And not only was he free, but he was also thriving. Bucky took up farming, he had a successful and thriving trip of goats. Steve made the mistake of calling Bucky’s precious trip, a herd of goats, and well… Steve never wants to get lectured about goat etymology ever again. But most importantly, they were happy and together. Something that they didn’t have for such a long time. And this domesticity got Steve’s brain going. Valentine’s day was coming up, and well, he wanted to make it special. After everything they’ve been through, Steve wants to make Bucky an honest man, and make him his husband.

That morning of Valentine’s day, Steve had everything set up. A simple altar where T’Challa would officiate the ceremony. It’d be just the four of them, Steve, Bucky, Winnie, and Sarah. Even though it’d been a while since he stepped foot into a chapel, Steve knew that their mothers wouldn’t miss this day. The day where they finally saw their boys get their happy ever after. On Bucky’s end, today was just like any other day. His goats needed to be fed and moved, and then he’d relax with Steve, watching another Disney film. Because apparently, that was the first thing Steve wanted Bucky to catch up on.

Steve takes a big breath as he sits down next to Bucky for breakfast.

“Hey, Buck?”

“Yeah Stevie? What’s up?”

“Well, you know how we talked about how we’d eventually get married. Well, I thought, and we don’t have to, but today’s Valentine’s day and well I have it all set up. Would you marry me tonight?”

Bucky takes a bite of his eggs as he shrugs, “sounds good to me. I just have to feed the goats first.”

“Okay then. I’ll… uh see you around 7 then?”

Bucky nods as he goes back to reading the “Wakandan Times”. Which, okay, this wasn’t how Steve was picturing any of this. Just so nonchalant with getting married. But, it didn’t matter, right,  he tried to tell himself. What mattered most was that they were together. A piece of paper didn’t change anything.

Steve went about his day and finally came back to their hut, a quarter to seven to find that Bucky was nowhere to be found. In his place was a note.

“T’Challa told me where the altar’s at. Meet you there, punk.”  Well, that’s surprising, Steve thought as he changed into his suit. They both had a suit, but Steve didn’t know if Bucky was going to wear his. He was risking being overdressed, but Steve wanted this day to be special, even if it was only special to him.

Getting out of the car T’Challa and his family lent him, Steve was overwhelmed when he saw Bucky standing at the altar, talking with T’Challa. His hair was up in a high bun, and he was wearing the gray suit that brought out the stormy blue in his eyes. It looked damn good on him. Walking up the altar, Steve tried to hold back his tears. This was everything he ever wanted.

“Finally, punk. I thought you did a runner on me,” Bucky chuckles as Steve stands next to him, holding onto his vibranium arm.

“I know you wanted to say a few words Captain Rogers, but Sergeant Barnes asked me to let him go first,” T’Challa smiles as he nods to Bucky.

“The first time I saw you, Stevie, in the churchyard of Father O’Malley’s chapel, I knew I loved you. That small, spitfire, mouthy punk. As we got older that love got stronger. You know the one thing that I thought, felt, as I fell from that train? Was that we’d never get to grow old together. Yet, here we are. Well, ¾ of me is here. And, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to relive anything I’ve been through, but it was worth it. Cause now I’m yours, punk. Forever.” Bucky tears up as he holds Steve’s hand.

“Buck,” Steve chokes, “the only thought I had when the Valkyrie was sinking was how we’d finally be back together. But you’re right. We’re here now, and that's what matters. You’re the only one I’ve loved, Buck. We’re together, till the end of the line.” T’Challa smiles as Steve wipes the tears out of his eyes.

“Not to keep either of you waiting, do you, Steven Grant Rogers take James Buchanan Barnes as your lawful husband?”

“I do.”

“And do you James Buchan Barnes, take Steven Grant Rogers as your lawful husband?”

“I do.”

“With the powers vested in me, by, well me, I pronounce you husband and husband. You can now kiss your husband,”

----- “Uncle Steve!” Peter blows his nose on a tissue he found somewhere. “That’s so beautiful!” Peter sniffles.

“Great, punk, I think you broke Spidey,” Bucky deadpans as Peter shakes his head.

“It’s just so beautiful. Knowing that you two got your happy ending. After everything, you went through. And thanks for telling me. I know I’m going to get an A on this.”

Steve chuckles as he cuddles next to Bucky. “You’re welcome, Petey. Glad we could be of help.” Running off, Peter leaves Steve and Bucky alone.

“God, that kid has so much energy,” Steve chuckles as Bucky nudges him.

“Yeah, reminds me of some little punk from Brooklyn. But you know what? I’m glad he was nosey. It was nice going down memory lane with you, punk.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” Steve leans in to Bucky, content with the peace they both have. No more fighting or running, only love.

[anotherbeingsworld]

Paris in the rain.

Pairing: Bryce x F!MC (Casey Valentine)

Book: Open Heart

Word Count: 2362 

Warnings: FLUFF. 💕😉

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry. I do not own anything, except for the storyline. 

A/N: Hi! This is officially my third fic that I will be posting, AHH! I feel giddy right now typing this, and its a compilations of more than a dozen of emotions in my head!! This story was inspired by Lauv’s song called ‘Paris in the rain’ and boom, this story happen! Its mostly fluff, and sometimes our life needs a lil fluff right? 🙈 I apologize in advance if there is any mistakes since English is not my first language 😅  Alsoo, I want to give a huge thanks to @maria-soederberg for checking all my mistakes and helping me with the story! GO CHECK OUT HER STORIES, SHE WROTE A LOT OF AMAZING STORIES ! <3 To end this, I hope you all enjoy this story! READ AWAYYY. 😊 

Tags: @maria-soederberg @choicessa @bitchloveskcbaseball @annekebbphotography ❤   (comment down if you want to be tagged!)

PS: CHECK OUT ALL THEIR AMAZING STORIES AS WELL! 

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Paris in the rain. 

The voices around Casey are fading away into the background as her thoughts start to wander towards a certain surgeon who is 3346 miles away.Casey is currently at a prestigious medical conference in the city of lights, also known as the city of love. She was invited to share her latest insights regarding the medical world.

But Casey feels her concentration leaving and her mind continuing going back to their last moment back in Boston. They had a heated argument about something useless, such as ‘Bryce leaving his dirty socks on the floor, or walking with his shoes through the apartment, not cleaning the dishes just as Casey asked him to.’ Those arguments were useless, yet one argument led to another one. And Bryce snapped at her which shocked Casey. He never had snapped before. Then he even started to point out Casey’s biggest insecurities. He knows it was wrong but he said it, and couldn’t undo it. It was all so pointless at the end that she wishes she could undo all these small arguments that led to this one big one.

It is her second and her final day in the city of love; France. Yet, Casey wasn’t able to enjoy it. Paris has always been on top of her bucket list, therefore shouldn’t she be here and enjoy it? But she can’t, because it is not how she imagined the trip to Paris.

“Dr. Valentine, do you have anything to add before we end the conference?” Dr Lanchester’s voice rings from the microphone.  His voice brings Casey back to reality. She puts up a smile that does not reach her eyes as she shakes her head. Dr Lanchester nods before giving a farewell speech to all the doctors that joined the medical conference.

Suddenly Casey feels someone placing their hands on her shoulder, she glances at her colleague, Dr Lindsay Russell who is a doctor invited from the UK to give an insight regarding the medical world in her country.

“Are you okay, C? You seem a bit zoned out in the end there.” She asks as the other doctors starts to exit the room.

“I know, I just have problems at home y’know.” She states as they both start to make their way to the exits as well.

“Let me guess, boy problems?” Lindsay smiles gently.

“Ding, ding, ding . Give the girl a prize.” Casey lets out a small laugh as they walk side by side enjoying every second of the foreign air that shows them that they are far from home especially in Casey’s case.

“I know this won’t solve the problem, but I think we should enjoy our final night here. It’s a rare occasion where the hospital sent us miles away from home.” Lindsay states with an enthusiastic smile plastered on her face.

“Alright, but under one condition.” Casey lets out a mischievous laugh making Lindsay feeling terrified. Lindsay wonders what the condition could be.

“Don’t leave me in suspense, C!” Lindsay shouts, laughing.

“You need to buy me the biggest croissant one can ever find!” Casey beams at Lindsay who lets out a laugh.

Lindsay nods and responds, “You have my word, now c’mon! Let’s explore the medical convention for now, before we continue with our adventure tonight.” She states. Not long after Lindsay suggesting this, Casey is pulled on her arm towards the various parts of the annual medicine convention.

After three hours of exploring, Casey and Lindsay says their goodbyes to get themselves cleaned up for the evening. Despite the excitement of discovering the City of lights, Casey feels a pang of sadness as the thought of Bryce starts to fill her mind again. Before their fight, they talked about how amazing their trip to Paris would be. They would hold hands while walking alongside the Seine, they would share kisses in front of the Eiffel Tower or even at the top of it. As criminal as that might be, they would even sneak out some of the little soaps from the hotel room because they smell so good and also look great. And of course, they cannot forget to eat all the chocolate they would find in Paris. It all seemed so perfect, but at the end it was too good to be true.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost missed the notification on her phone. It was a text from her roommates, she smiles thinking about her friends who had been nice enough to take her back in after the fight with Bryce. Casey looks at their group chat and the different messages of her friends.

Sienna: Casey, have fun! We can’t wait for you to be back, Edenbrook is so quiet without you. :(

Elijah: Hit me up with all the goodies from the conventions Cas! You’re the bomb!

Jackie: Don’t forget to enjoy all the expensive booze as you spend your time around snotty doctors Cas! ;)

Aurora: She ain’t wrong, see ya soon!

She smiles at  the texts, but looking at those messages make her eyes wander to a particular name in her messages. They hadn’t been texting since the ‘fight’. She wants to tell him how much she wants to be in his arms, how she wants to make all those fantasies come true. But she can’t do it. She lets out a sigh, as she continues to get ready for the night out with Lindsay.

Meanwhile, at a motel not so far away. Bryce Lahela is adjusting his tie.Bryce struggles as he  tries to look his best, he is aware that people think he looks good in everything. But today, he wanted to look even better. It is for a special occasion after all.

In the meantime, he facetimes Elijah as he guides him through a tie tutorial. “Almost there, and… done!” Bryce lets out a scream as he successfully managed to tie a tie. Although, he is from a wealthy family which required him to dress up like some stuck up corporate workers, he never made an effort to dress up. It made his parents mad all the time, yet he never really cared what they think. He had lived all his life with casual attire and it’s pretty comfortable.

His phone lets out a ping as a message pop up over their video call.

Linsday: I already told her about tonight, you better not screw up, Lahela!

Bryce: Thank you, I owe you one. And, don’t worry I won’t.

Linsday: I will believe it when I see it, let me know when it’s time.

Bryce: Gotcha.

Bryce takes a deep breath, Elijah looks at him through the phone, noticing how nervous he gets. Soon, Elijah is joined by Sienna and Jackie who instantly whistles at him.

“You clean up good, meathead.” Jackie shouts from the other side of the phone while Sienna gives an approving nod.

“Thanks, Jackie, I am doing everything I can to fix this.” Bryce lets out a sigh. “I can’t lose her, she  means a lot to me. And, I don’t want to be away from her anymore. I-“

Before Bryce can continue, Elijah’s voice fades into the background. He looks at his phone and sees their call got disconnected as his phone lets out a ping once more.

Elijah: Sorry about that buddy, Jackie immediately hung up before you start one of those sappy  monologues. All of us are rooting for you, get em tiger!

Bryce lets out a small laugh before heading out the door, with a high amount of determination to fix it. Both of them were at fault for their fight, Bryce feels himself getting anxious and the fear of losing her resurfaces even though deep down he knows that she loves him.

 Casey always felt like she is not good enough for him. No matter how many times he had tried to assured her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Bryce made this one mistake and pointed that out in their fight leads to Casey walking away from him, and a quiet night for Bryce. The next day, he wanted to clear the air between them but Casey unfortunately had left for Paris, without a goodbye.

 Casey feels herself enjoying the perks of being a foreigner, living her best life in Paris despite the small pain in her chest. The night went on and she even got the chance to enjoy her croissant which was promised by Lindsay. They managed to go café hopping, and doing everything she desired.

 As the night continues, Lindsay lets out a small yawn. Casey’s head perks up at the sudden reaction. “Tired already?”

 Lindsay nods, as she stretches her arms making Casey laugh with her antics. “I think I am going to hit the hay, you ready to go?”

 Casey shakes her head, as she gestures to the Eiffel Tower which is a short walk away from her. “I think I’m going to stick around a little longer, I will see you tomorrow?”

Lindsay pulls her into a hug and waves her goodbye. “See you tomorrow, C!”

 After Casey continued her commute, Lindsay takes her phone out and sends a text to Bryce, to proceed his plan. After getting a thumbs up reply, she whispers ‘I hope he doesn’t screw up this time.’ to herself as she makes her way back to her hotel.

 Casey takes her time enjoying the view around her. The night is getting darker but the people around her are still smiling, enjoying the atmosphere around them. Some of them are sightseeing, and some are enjoying each other’s company at one of the most romantic places on earth.

 After a few minutes of walking, the Eiffel Tower comes into her view. The sight makes Casey smile uncontrollably. She stops to look at it properly. It looks spectacular, better than what she had been seeing on her desktop when she was 6.At first she was so focused on the sight in front of her that she had barely noticed the presence next to her. As she takes a glance at the person beside her, her eyes widen. It was him. He is standing there beside her, with his signature smile that is one of Casey’s favourites. Both of them were silent for what felt like an eternity until Bryce clears his throat to capture her attention.

 “What are you doing here?” Casey asks maintaining her distance because she still can’t believe Bryce is standing next to her.

 “I came here to make your dreams come true; one of them involves this building.” Bryce states as his gaze stays on her whilst gesturing the Eiffel Tower, his eyes displaying every emotion someone can have.

 Before Casey can reply, he continues, “I want to fix this, and I won’t leave your side until I achieve my goals. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I am not ready to let you go, or to let us go. This thing that we had, is much more than any fight, any quarrel or any insult. What we have is something special, and I wouldn’t have it any other way…” The sound of thunder causes him to stop as they both glance up towards the sky, where lightening covers the sky from time to time.

 “Bryce...” Casey looks back down to him, ignoring the weather above her.

 “I love you Casey Valentine and I don’t want to lose you ever again.” He stops when suddenly the rain starts to fall. His eyes went down towards his clothes and notices that it’s soaked. But he doesn’t mind, he is not finished yet. He looks over to her and his breath stops for a short moment. Of course, Casey always looks beautiful in his eyes, but the light of the Eiffel tower reflecting in her eyes, followed by the rain that covers her face in small pearls makes her more beautiful than she has ever been.

 Bryce takes a deep breath as he continues, “I’m sorry that I said all those things back in Boston. I never meant to hurt you, Casey. I love you with all I have. My life is evolving around you. Waking up every morning? I can’t imagine it without you by my side. Walking through the hospital halls? I cannot imagine it without our ‘stealing kisses’ moments or jokes we share while bumping into one another. And I can’t bear the thought of living without you. I love you and I cannot live without you.” Bryce admits. “Please come back.”

 Casey felt her eyes gaze into his. The rain caused his hair got stuck on his forehead, and followed the little drops on his nose; somehow he still looks amazing in her eyes. Their eyes connect to one another and in that moment they know that whatever happened in Boston, its one of the bumps of being in relationship. Casey feels glad that Bryce had came this whole way to Paris, finally being able to make both of their dreams come true. After a few moments, Casey closes the distance between them as she puts her arms around his neck. She nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck and whispers, “I love you too, so much.” Bryce smiles as he hold her close.

 As they are in each other embraces, Bryce is glad that she forgave him and they can start a new page together leaving the fight behind. He promises to himself for their next trip to Paris, he will do all the little things with her. Bryce wants her to be happy and he never wants to leave her side again. He loves her too much, to imagine the world without her in it.

 Despite the weather, they got a chance to find each other once more in one of the most beautiful city in the world. After a while, Casey felt a notification from her phone. She smiled after reading the message, and give him a light kiss.

From: Bryce

'Cause anywhere with you feels right

Anywhere with you feels like

Paris in the rain

Walking down an empty street

Puddles underneath our feet’ – Lauv.  

THE END.

A/N #2: Hii! So, I hope all of you enjoy it! Its one of those stories that brings a smile on my face and its fill with fluff! The best in both worlds; happiness and fluff, hehe. 🙈 I still felt anxious about posting this, but I am growing everyday! Don’t forget to like, reblog and leave a comment!  It would really means a lot for all writers! 😊 Once again, THANK YOU FOR READING! <3 

Check out my other fics here ! ❤❤

[duckiefishpond]

Lover’s Day

(IT’s V-day, so can post this now.)

“And one, two, three!”

“And one, two, three!”

“Ack! Sorry!”

“No, no, my friend. Quite alright!”

Lover’s Day was around the corner for Valentin. It was the monster’s holiday for couples that happened on the 3rd of June. Over time though, it was adopted as an official holiday of Valentin by all residence; much to monsters’ resistant of commercial use. Still, the day was approaching fast as Collin was thrown in a stupor.

Collin was never good at planning things but this being his and Tessara’s 26th wedding year, he wanted to make this holiday special; seeing as their wedding anniversary was still a bit down the road. Believe him, Collin never expected for Tessara to have stayed this long as she has. Collin wanted to do something out of the ordinary. 26 years wasn’t a mile stone, but it was something special to Collin. 26 years that Tessara had been by his side, given him two wonderful children, and been there for him at his worst. No, Collin wanted to show his wife how special she was to him. How much he appreciated her and how much he loved her.

So here he was, day of the holiday, while Tessara was at the palace fully today, taking dance lessons from China. Bless the poor cat man for how many times Collin has stepped on his feet for the last few days of practice as Tessara was out for work.

“And dip and done! Well done my friend! You have improved immensely!” China chuckled as Collin brought China back up.

Blushing slightly, Collin rubbed the back of his head as Serenity and Seth clapped.

“Mama’s going to love it when you show her you can dance better now,” Serenity chuckled.

“Mommy happy,” Seth stated while smiling.

“Yeah, yeah,” Collin remarked, rolling his eyes.

“No, my friend, they’re right. Duckie loves dancing and music. You know this. So you know she will be over the moon when she sees how much you have improved,” China commented, patting Collin on the back, “Just breathe through things and you will be fine.”

“I hope so,” Collin replied, giving a half confident look.

Still unsure how things will go, Collin gave a slight pout as China continued to pat his back.

“Collin, what bothers you? Are those man’s comments from yesterday still buzzing around your head like a pesky mosquito?” China asked.

Collin sighed.

“Sadly yes,” Collin replied, “I can’t stand it. Everybody thinks she deserves better. Whether they state it or not, people give us looks. It seems only her close friends, other than Marissa, seem to support us. Even now. And that guy yesterday, gods, he lusted at her. Telling her how beautiful she was and how if she was with him, he would give her the world. I could tell she was grossed out so of course I stepped in. But I’m not stupid. I’m not fighting some muscle head. But to be called weak and some stick that clings onto her when she could be with a real man, it-”

Trailing off, Collin went quiet as China gave a sad look but perked back up.

“My friend. You are not weak. You love Duckie dearly and would do anything to make sure she’s safe and happy. Granted, she can protect herself, but you give her protection that not others can. You give her the love she’s wanted for so long. People like that, they don’t understand. So do not let words like that bother you,” China reassured.

Sighing again, Collin perked back up before giving his children a reassuring smile that he was alright.

“I know. I know. I just hate it. I wish they would leave her alone. She’s mine. She’s my wife and I’m her husband,” Collin spoke.

“And so you are. And you will take her out to the willow tree and give her a wonderful Lover’s Day picnic dinner and sweep her off her feet tonight,” China chuckled, “As for Marissa. She’s a fiddly one. I think more is going on under the seams of her demeanor towards you but she is a private person and I am not one to pry. Give it time though. I think she’s slowly warming up to you.”

Collin just chuckled. “That or she’s waiting to throw another knife at me,” Collin remarked.

To that, everybody was laughing now.

4 o clock rolled around and Tessara was walking through the door; seemingly very tired. One of her pigtails was slightly undone, sleeves were slipping down, and giving off a very tired sigh, walked over to the stairs and sat down.

Giving her no time, Seth was already in his mother’s lap looking worried at her. Nuzzling his nose with hers, Tessara gave her son a kiss on the forehead with a tired smile.

“Hi sweetheart,” Tessara commented.

Walking out of the living room, Serenity behind him, Collin was surprised to see the state his wife was in.

“Duckie-dearest, what happened to you?” Collin questioned as he took a seat next to her on the stairs.

“Chasing intruders. Surprisingly not my fans, but Umi’s,” Tessara replied.

Giving a confused and annoyed look, Collin replied, “Don’t those damn girls know he’s gay and with someone?”

“As if they care about that? No, somehow these three sneaked their way into the meetings today and just had to get close to him. Then we had to chase one down which one threw a fit and started to fight us. Granted, oni are no match for me, it was still a hell of a day,” Tessara sighed.

Rubbing her back, Collin kissed his wife’s forehead.

“Well, it’s over and now you can enjoy the rest of the day. And I have a small surprise for you. Yet, you got to wash up and get nice and dressed for it,”  Collin replied.

Raising an eyebrow, seems that caught Tessara’s attention.

“Oh?” she questioned, “And what do tell, do you have planned?”

Tessara knew what today was. Was probably the reason the girls broke into the palace. Still, Collin having something planned? That was new to her.

“Just have to wait and see,” Collin replied with a cheeky smile.

Chuckling, Tessara kissed her husband as she got up.

“Fine,” she playfully replied before heading upstairs; carrying Seth with her.

Looking at each other, Collin and Serenity chuckled and smiled.

With 6 o clock striking on the clock, Collin had washed up and freshened up at the downstairs bathroom as he was sitting on the stairs with Serenity brushing his hair.

“Starbeam says by the time you guys get there, the food will be ready and things will be set up,” Serenity remarked as she finished brushing her father’s hair and started to braid it.

“Good. Now all we have to do now is wai-” Collin began to speak.

“Hi handsome,” a voice spoke.

Looking up, Tessara had finished in the bedroom and was dressed in a nice blue dress with fashionable flats. Light pink lipstick and having dropped her godly appearance, her medium length blond hair was tied into a bun with a fancy hair piece.

Grinning from ear to ear, Collin replied, “Well hello to you too gorgeous. My, are you lost, because I would LOVE to be your guide tonight.”

This got Tessara to laugh as Serenity playfully smacked Collin on the back of his head; causing him to laugh.

“Daddy, that was terrible!” Serenity stated although chuckling herself.

“Silly Daddy,” Seth commented; having come down the stairs behind his mother and clinging to her leg at the moment.

“Hehe, so, we ready to go here?” Tessara questioned; still chuckling.

Finishing up braiding his hair and tying it up with his usual purple hair ribbon, Serenity replied, “Yep!”

Although not as clean as Tessara, Collin was well dressed with a nice white dress shirt and purple dress slacks. Nice shoes and with his hair braided, Tessara did have to admire how nice her husband looked.

Getting up, Collin held his hand out to his wife as Tessara happily took it. Walking down the stairs, the pair walked towards the door as Collin opened it up for Tessara. “My lady first of course,” Collin stated.

Tessara just chuckled as she walked out the front door.

Waiting for them was Collin’s dirt bike; freshly washed and new tires.

“Now where are we going?” Tessara questioned.

“Again my darling, it’s a surprise,” Collin replied as he started up the bike before handing Tessara a helmet.

Looking back, the pair noticed Sonji had come down the stairs and was with the kids on the front porch.

“In bed by 9. No later than 10,” Tessara spoke.

“As if I haven’t watched them before,” Sonji replied.

“Bye Mama. Bye Daddy! Have fun!” Serenity spoke with a wave.

“Buh Bye,” Seth chuckled and waved.

Waving at their children, Tessara wrapped her arms around Collin once she had her helmet on. Placing his on, Collin kicked the bike stand up and off they went down the dirt road from the house.

Riding down the dirt road to the main paved road, the pair hit the four way before taking a left and riding on for quite a while to Limestone Peak. The trail here was a common walking path for the couple as Collin parked the bike at the beginning of the trail.

“Okay. Now here, I need you blindfolded,” Collin remarked as he took off his helmet; pulling a black cloth out of his dress shirt pocket.

Puzzled as she set her helmet on the bike, Tessara asked, “Why?”

“For the surprise of course. I know where I’m going so I’ll lead,” Collin chuckled.

Trusting her husband, Tessara replied, “Okay.”

Coming behind her, Collin placed the black cloth around her eyes and tied it under Tessara’s hair before taking hold of her hand and leading the way. A good long walk, Tessara kept asking questions.

“Am I going to like what you have planned?” Tessara asked.

“Hopefully,” Collin replied.

“I’m surprised we are all the way out here,” Tessara commented.

“Well, the town was probably packed and restaurants full. Rather do something special in places we like to go to together,” Collin stated.

Chuckling, Tessara replied, “Yes and if I’m thinking correctly, we are headed to the willow tree, aren’t we?”

“Maybe,” Collin chuckled before finally stopping.

Stopping, Tessara waited for a moment before what seemed to be light started to shine through the cloth.

Walking behind her, Collin began to undo the cloth before waiting to take it off.

“Ready?” Collin spoke.

“Yeah,” Tessara chuckled.

Pulling the cloth up, Tessara’s eyes went wide in excitement.

The willow tree, a usual spot the pair liked to hang out and talk at, was covered in star lights that made the tree glow in golden light. Sitting at its base was a picnic set up with fine dishware and a dinner waiting for them. Next to that was a freshly made pitcher of tea.

Placing her hands over her nose and mouth, it was obvious Tessara was grinning from ear to ear before turning and hugging her husband.

“You planned this?” Tessara questioned; the happiness and giddiness in her voice when she asked.

“All for you,” Collin replied as he took one of his wife’s hands and led her to the blanket to sit.

The cooking was obviously Starbeam’s; grill cooked steaks with freshly tossed salad, hand made potatoes and steam cooked greens. The only thing that stuck out to be anything that wasn’t cooked by her was the macaroni and cheese; obviously done by Collin while Tessara was cleaning up.

Tessara was still grinning as she looked over everything; the food, the willow tree, and then at her husband. That smile never leaving her face, Collin could tell she loved it.

Grabbing cups, Collin made drinks for the two of them as Tessara started to make plates. Everything made, the two took their usual spot between the roots; pillows having been placed there for them.

“You didn’t have to do all this,” Tessara commented before taking another bite of her steak.

“Yeah well. Once in a while I should show you I can be romantic,” Collin chuckled.

“As if you haven’t been for the last 26 years,” Tessara chuckled.

“26 years is a long time. And at some points, I don’t think I expressed enough how much you mean to me,” Collin replied.

Leaning closer, Tessara snuggled up to her husband with a big grin on her face.

“As if I didn’t know. You love me. You want me,” Tessara playfully teased.

“Everyday. Every night. Every minute. Every hour. Every second,” Collin replied.

To this the two busted out laughing.

With night finally setting in as the day cycle finished and the sky turned to the starry view of space outside the shields, the pair finished up dinner as Collin wrapped an arm around Tessara and held her close; both holding their cups of tea.

“Surprised you didn’t grab the wine from the basement,” Tessara commented.

“I don’t think you would want me drunk tonight,” Collin teased.

Chuckling, Tessara replied, “Probably not. Though you usually are just more sappy and like to throw pick up lines.”

“You like my pick up lines,” Collin remarked, “I mean look at this sky. So gorgeous. Yet nothing compares to the star that is here next to me. The brightest in all the universe and she’s all mine!”

Blushing, Tessara started to push Collin away playfully as she laughed.

“Oh my gods! Stop! You’re just as bad when sober!” Tessara laughed.

“It’s true though! Diamonds may be my favorite gem, but there is no gem more dazzling and beautiful as you!” Collin continued.

“STTTTOOOPPP! ACK, YOU CHEESE BALL!!!” Tessara laughed.

Both laughing, Collin took the cups and set them aside before passionately kissing his wife. Wrapping her arms around him, Tessara happily returned the kisses as Collin leaned her into the pillows.

Kissing for a few minutes, it took Tessara a moment to realize music had started to play. Breaking the kiss, Tessara looked confused but pleased. Realizing she caught on to the music, Collin smiled.

“Got something else for yah,” Collin stated.

“Oh?” Tessara questioned.

Setting up, Collin held a hand out as Tessara grabbed it. Helping her up on her feet, Collin walked her over and off the blanket before letting her hand go and bowing.

“My lady. May I have this dance?” Collin asked.

Chuckling, Tessara held her hand out again as she replied, “Oh, but of course!”

Taking hold of it, Collin lead as the pair danced around to the music. Showing her what he had learned, Collin was happy to see how smiley and happy his wife was in his arms. Dipping her as the music came to the end, Tessara hadn’t noticed in one of their circles around the tree, Collin had grabbed something with one his tails until it came into view.

“And I didn’t forget the roses,” Collin stated as he brought his wife back up and handed her the bouquet of red roses with his tail.

Taking the bouquet, Tessara was blushing as she stated, “You are such a sap!”

“You married me,” Collin chuckled.

“And never regretted one day of it,” Tessara replied before kissing her husband again.

With midnight drawing close, the pair decided to finish things up with a walk on the trail. Chatting away about things, the pair arrived at the peak where the rock side dropped off to a beautiful view of the mountain range during the day. Though at night, the starry sky above made things just as breathtaking.

“Oh, this view is just as lovely at night as it is during the day. I’m surprised more people don’t come out here,” Tessara commented.

“Yeah really. Look at star cluster there,” Collin replied.

Pointing out stars and planets, the pair hadn’t paid attention to the commotion behind them till something squawked. Puzzled by the sound, the two turned around when a large crow flew out towards them. Surprised and startled, Tessara jumped back as the crow flew between them; a mocking bird following behind it. It seemed the crow must have messed with its nest and was being attacked by the mocking bird.

Though too far back, Tessara hadn’t realized how close to the edge she had gotten till slight rumbling could be heard. Seems from the rain storm a few days ago, the limestone edges were still soft with water and started to crumble.

The next few seconds flashed before her. Grabbing out for Collin as he rushed towards her, feeling nothing under her feet, to being held by something. Not realizing she had shut her eyes in all this, Tessara opened them to see wide open space.

“DUCKIE! DUCKIE, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!?” Collin spoke in a panic.

It took Tessara a moment to register things. She was in Collin’s arms. Deciding to look down, she saw trees below her and Collin’s feet. Now realizing what was going on, Tessara’s eyes went wide.

She fell off the edge, Collin jumped for her and grabbed her and-

“YOU CAN FLY?!?” Tessara shouted in stunned confusion.

“Um….yeah,” Collin replied.

They were indeed in the air as Collin held onto Tessara. Having jumped for his wife, he grabbed onto her before using his powers to fly and catch their bearings.

Flying back up to the top, Collin landed away from the edge before setting Tessara down. Still holding onto her husband, Tessara was still stunned.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Tessara questioned.

Brushing the back of his head, Collin looked a bit flustered.

“It’s one of those things with my powers I had to keep hidden. You knew my father had forbidden me to use my powers. So much I had to learn things on my own behind his back. Flying was one of them. But being so forced to keep it hidden, it was just one of those things that fell to the wayside. Just rather walk and bike than fly around. You know,” Collin explained before looking at his wife, “Does...that bother you?”

“Wha-no! I’m just surprised….Thank you! For saving me,” Tessara replied before planting a kiss on her husband’s cheek.

“Well...I mean. You probably would have been alright. But you did really scare me and I jus-” Collin tried to speak.

“COLLIN!” Tessara huffed.

“Ah-oh. Okay...You’re welcome,” Collin replied sheepishly before kissing his wife.

Returning the kiss, Tessara was the one to break it as she remarked, “Come on. It’s getting late. Let’s get home.”

“Maybe I’m not tired though,” Collin remarked, smirk on his face.

“There are things we can do at the house that I rather do at the house than outside silly,” Tessara replied  with a “come get me” look.

“And my Duckie-dearest, what would those things be?” Collin questioned; playing innocent and curious.

“You’ll just have to see when we get there,” Tessara replied with a smirk.

“Such a tease,” Collin replied.

Tessara just chuckled.

Taking her hand as Collin lead, the pair finally made their way back to the bike as Collin got it started.

Seeing Tessara put her helmet on, Collin remarked, “Hold on my darling.”

“Always,” Tessara replied.

Leaning and holding onto Collin, Tessara was smiling as Collin drove the way back home; happy with the Lover’s Day surprise she got, happy with her husband, and happy with the life she had.

[holisticpassport]

My Covid Story

Apologies for any spelling errors, I’m on a time crunch. I’m a few hours out from leaving for my first flight since July 2019 (and before that, March 2018). Heading out to Sydney, I’m a mix of anxiety and absolute excitement. In January of this year, our sublet was almost up in Eltham and Cam and I had plans to pack up the car and begin doing workaways around Australia to help rebuild communities devastated by the historic wild fires (doesn’t that feel FOREVER ago?). When our sublet became available for a full lease transfer, we changed our minds to stay in our space, so that was the first instance of travel being knocked out of the picture. Then we had Valentine’s weekend open to go visit some friends in Tasmania, so we booked tickets and upon waiting in the airport, our flights were cancelled due to inclement weather. DAMN.  Mid-march came around and it was Cam’s birthday, so we wanted to get out for a weekend of camping in our big bell tent, find a gorgeous spot in the woods out east near Warburton. When we arrived, every camping spot for an hour’s dive any direction was either full or completely not open at all. We picked a spot off a random road and spent one night there, but some rangers came by and said we couldn’t stay there due to the possible danger of logging trucks not seeing us. So that was a bust.

Then as you’re aware, this time frame leads up to the very tumultuous third week of March when Melbourne officially went into its first lockdown due to COVID. I documented this time in journal entries which I will add at the end, but ultimately the lockdown went until June, and the state reopened too quickly/had a fiasco with quarantined cases getting out of a hotel, thus sparking the second wave. We had flights booked to California for June to see my family and then planned to travel around Mexico for a few months, but that dream was quickly squashed when flights out of Melbourne ceased to exist at all. Months later, I had a flight booked in July to go to Sydney where I was to have my eggs extracted for donation. The day before I was to fly out, second lockdown went into effect and the flight was cancelled (thus forcing me to have the procedure done in Melbourne and cause a huge, historic controversy between Melbourne IVF’s CEO and the medical director of IVF Australia about how to transfer frozen eggs over a closed border!).

I’m struggling to comprehend just how important and meaningful my ability to travel today is. To think back to the first time in history, watching borders around the world close, flights become grounded, and witnessing a global pandemic unfold whilst in a foreign country—I remember thinking at the beginning how unfathomable the scale of it was. When people talk about things not seeming real or like it’s a dream you can’t wake up from, that’s exactly how it felt. I questioned whether I needed to go back to the U.S. in fear I might not see my family for years or be with them if they got fatally ill. Would I be able to even go back if that happened let alone would I be able to re-enter AU (the answer was no). And thank god I didn’t go back considering the absolute cluster fuck of a mess Trump made of the pandemic. But also, thank god my family has been healthy and safe. The level of fear for their safety was at an all-time high as civil tensions grew when the riots around the country kicked off in conjunction with the pandemic. I wrote to all of them to have a plan to escape to Mexico and get their passports if Trump won the re-election. This was a genuine fear I’ve never experienced before.

The level of frustration, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, self-hatred for lack of productivity during lockdown, and uncertainty about so many facets of life weighed down on me during this time. But I know how much worse our time could have been. I was immensely grateful for the fact that we had a home and incredibly gracious landlords who were human and understood the financial difficulties of this unprecedented time when so many became homeless as job loss skyrocketed. We were so fortunate that I was able to continue working even 2 days a week through the lockdown as a barista and Cam was able to get government support for six months as a NZ citizen who lived in AU over 10 years when so many other New Zealanders were forced to return to their country because of the time limit stipulation for support. We only had two family members contract Covid and were young and healthy enough to survive when so many families will be without a member at the holidays this year.

And I acknowledge my privilege in that my identity is so closely entwined with the ability to travel, that while it felt suffocating to not even have the choice to travel anywhere outside of a 5km (3mile) zone, I fully empathize with those in parts of the world where they could not walk more than 50 meters from their front door or people who didn’t have windows/balconies in apartment buildings who were going out of their mind. All of that does not diminish the struggles I faced with not being able to travel, but it does always keep my perspective in check. My trip today signifies how a city and a country came together during the most difficult period of our lifetime, followed strict government guidelines, and came out after 120+ days in full lockdown on the other side of a pandemic, now able to cross state borders without isolation or quarantine. To go to a live music show,  have drinks on rooftop bars, walk around outside without a mask on, and see people going about their daily lives again on public transport and see a city bustling with energy—the months of mental hardship and growth was all to get back to a post-Covid world. Even though a vaccine is not out yet and we need to be cautious, the level of hopelessness has diminished significantly, and I’m not terrified my trip might be cancelled in two hours. I’m actually going this time!

There is also a whole other facet to my time in lockdown and that of course is the personal development and mutual growth in my marriage! That’s a whole separate post though which I hope to get out soonish. But here’s a bit of something I started a few months ago. Enjoy.

 ********

I remember when it first started in the news; like a minor blip of a story flashing at the bottom of the screen: some mutant virus had infected a couple dozen people in some random city in China. I was working solo in a café serving the employees of a major shoe distribution company in the warehouse district of Collingwood, Melbourne. The TV was on in the cafe but muted the first few weeks of January as the main stories were about the most devastating wildfires in the history of the world, and we all just felt a communal helplessness. As the numbers grew in China and the story became a daily headline, the first case was announced in Queensland on January 25th. Everyone stuck around a few minutes longer each day after they were handed their coffee. I think back to the moment when Wuhan, the epicenter at the time, reported 1,500 cases and I thought surely there can’t be much more than that. This is just media sensationalizing something small. This whole story will blow over in another week or two.

If only.

It was summer in Australia, and my husband and I were planning what to do after our sublease was up in mid-March. I commuted daily from a suburb 50 minutes north called Eltham, a creative and eco-friendly heritage town. We lived in a triplex made of adobe mudbrick, surrounded by native forest, a communal garden, and enjoyed huge artisan windows that brought in natural filtered light through the towering trees. Our little studio was a quiet haven away from the chaos and constant flurry of people in Melbourne, especially during summer as it brought travelers from every corner of the globe. There was no way we could have possibly known that this little paradise would feel like a prison after six months in the world’s longest lockdown due to a global pandemic caused by that little virus in some random city in China now known worldwide as COVID-19.

As the weeks passed by in February, more and more countries began reporting cases. I did not understand how pandemics worked as the last one I was alive for and could remember was H1N1 in California, and I was about 17—far too consumed with college applications and boys to think about world affairs. The Spanish Flu was never something that was particularly emphasized in our history classes, so it didn’t even occur to me to compare what was happening now to that point in time. Then again, this was incomparable because in 1912, the world was a less globalized economy and there were no commercial flights transporting thousands of passengers across the globe daily. By the first week of March, my daily rush-hour commutes became the first real difference I noticed. The number of morning passengers on the train platforms dwindled from 50 to 25 to 5, and eventually, to just me. As the train stopped at over 30 stops from where I lived to the city, my carriage wasn’t even remotely full at 7 a.m.

There was less foot traffic in the city. Flinders Street Station, one of the two largest hubs that saw thousands of people daily, was eerily quiet and empty. We were two weeks out from leaving Melbourne to go travel, planning to go to New South Wales, AU to help rebuild communities that were ravaged by the bushfires. I was desperate to travel this year, and we were so close to leaving. I had picked up some other barista work in an advertising agency closer to the city. But day by day, office workers were being told to work from home if they were able to. Hand sanitizer became readily available in the café, bathrooms, and around the office. I remember staring out the window of this high rise building that overlooked the lush green stretch of Albert Park and thinking it looks so normal outside. Every day, I looked at the news in Australia, which I had never really done before. Industries were shutting down, and the panic was setting in for thousands of casual workers in the hospitality industry as it was only a matter of time before we would be shut down too.

Melbourne is a cultural hub filled with travelers who typically come here on a Work and Holiday Visa which gives them 1-2 years to work and live in AU. Most find work in hospitality as there are over 40,000 restaurants and cafes in this region. You couldn’t go a single day without meeting someone from another country which is why I fell in love with this city. I worked as a freelance barista through agencies that called for workers to be able to step in if someone called out sick or quit unexpectedly and they found themselves short. But my agencies had gone completely silent in the week leading up to the industry shutting down. There was no more work and travelers were finding themselves stranded. I journaled daily in the lead up to my final day of work in the city as I knew something big was happening, and I wanted to be able to recall when it all began. I also knew we would not be travelling anytime soon, around Australia or otherwise, when national and international borders began closing around the world.

 March 17th, 2020

All that’s being talked about is COVID-19. Entire countries are closing borders and going into complete lockdown. Italy has been inundated with patients in hospitals and now have to choose who lives and who dies. AU isn’t taking nearly as intense of measures, but the general atmosphere is not normal. All events with over 500 people have been cancelled. Those who have traveled anywhere must self-quarantine for 14 days or face a huge fine. Some people still don’t take it seriously, thinking/acting like it’s just a normal flu when in reality its ability to be passed on and even re-infect someone a second time is much higher than the rate of a simple flu. In the states, my family says all the restaurants and schools have closed, even the Hollywood entertainment industry has closed down. So many independent contractors, myself included, are without means to live because there’s no emergency government funding in place. It shows what’s truly flawed with the system. Luckily Cam has full time work still, but for those people who have kids and no daycare options? No partner or family? Those who are traveling and can’t get back home? This is devastating for all of us, but them in particular. Supposedly, there are rumors that the virus dies with the warm weather, but AU is headed into winter. It could be why the virus isn’t as big in places like South America and Africa (*note* countries from these two continents are now in the top 10 most infected places as of September 2020) Europe is completely shut down as is New Zealand. I have flights to California in June, so I’m hoping I can still go. For how weak my immune system is, I’m surprised I’m not more concerned because I’ve been continuously reassured the virus only attacks those with underlying conditions, mainly in the elderly population. Even in calm, tight-knitted communities like ours in Eltham, we’re seeing the best and worst of humanity come out with people hoarding resources, but also there are those offering rides for people to stores or grocery drop offs to their homes. I’m very interested to see how the next three months progress all around the world. Right about now, it’d be nice to hide away in a beachside house in Mexico. (*Mexico is also among the top 10 most infected countries now*)

March18th, 2020

The government should announce today whether hospitality industry will close, potentially putting Cam and I both out of jobs. Luckily our landlord is being highly accommodating. Trump is giving Americans $1,200 and has postponed tax season by 3 months. Only seems he does something decent when it’s to keep the economy from tanking and his money is protected.

Cam and I both have throat annoyances and headaches. We should try to stay home, but can’t afford it. Today, they’ve dropped gatherings of 500 down to only 100 people, yet shopping centers and public transport remain open, which I would think are the riskiest places for transferring infections. It’s been stated this is a once in a decade event that will change the course of history.

 March 19th, 2020

Amidst all the chaos from morning to night, people are finally taking time to nurture their interests and creativity. I’m taking two courses on sustainable fashion and fashion in design. I’ve also applied to be a mentor for women trying to gain work and leadership experience at an NGO called Fitted for Work. They have stylists that help women to prepare business outfits and tailor their resumes/do mock interviews. I’ve looked into an MA program I’m interested in at Warren Wilson College back in North Carolina. I think looking forward is the only way to keep the fear down about how long these shut downs may last possibly through June. The world economy is going to see some extremely confronting realities it hasn’t seen since the Great Depression. For the moment I’m looking into teaching English online which I’m already certified to do, just to try and earn some money. I’ll be interested to see all the art that comes out of this period and the photojournalism that captures this historic time.

 March 21st, 2020

We went over to Williamstown (Cam’s parent’s house) as Cam had two shifts out that way. Restrictions in cafes are now 1 person per 4 square meters, so in the 100 person limit already imposed, it’s now down to 25. I’m nervous for Cam to keep working and going on public transport. It’s high risk and unethical in terms of coming in contact with people we could transmit it to without knowing (asymptomatic) because it takes 14 days to even show symptoms. We made the choice to start self-isolation come Monday as we can see in the next week or two the same spike will be here in Melbourne as we’ve seen in Italy and most likely soon to see in the U.S. Reading other peoples’ accounts about how they continued life as normal as though nothing had changed in Italy is exactly where AU is projected to head towards.

 March 25, 2020

As of Monday, AU took drastic measures to ensure safety and closed many non-essential businesses with a series of daily updates for more and more businesses to shut or only stay open for takeaway. Overnight, nearly 80,000 people in hospitality work were laid off or lost work, Cam and I included. A stimulus package of 66 billion dollars was announced and Cam qualified for government payments through Centrelink because he’s a kiwi who’s been here over 10 years. Other kiwis who haven’t been here that long are completely without any kind of support from the AU government, even though in NZ, Aussies are supported. A very backward, selfish system who told them to go home.

We went to Centrelink on Monday at 7:45am in Greensborough (suburb over from Eltham). By 8:30 am when the doors opened there were over 200 people in line. The government has been terribly confusing with their messages out to the public, highly unprepared. People are confused about what they can and can’t do, what businesses are remaining open, who is eligible… it’s a mess. Why are liquor stores and hair salons considered essential?? There have been spikes in young people getting this virus as young as 18, and they are dying. The virus coats your lungs like a jelly ultimately blocking oxygen. We did what is hopefully our last grocery shop because being in the store is just as contagious as a café. There’s no safety or hygiene measures in place. We had gloves on and people were dancing around each other in the aisles to maintain 1.5m social distance.

The U.S. is becoming the new epicenter with horrific rapid spreading, particularly in New York. Flight around the world, including as of today AU, are being stopped and we can no longer leave the country at all.

  To Be Continued…..

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Hitoshi & Amy: Adventures in Stay-cationing (This is a very relevant title since this is what we’ve been doing for at least a quarter of the whole fucking year)

Okay hear me out lol so since Amy is my OC and I like to put her in the BNHA canon since well I’m sure that’s what you’re supposed to do with OC’s, this takes place after the Culture Festival Arc, where she officially quits and leaves UA and goes to her mansion to stay there in isolation, just as witches had been doing.

After her little “plus ultra tantrum”, Amy quit UA, because she saw no other option for herself and wanted to get away from her trauma and the people who reminded her of it. A sadly realistic thing that some traumatized people do, she needed to get away, no matter how irrational it may have seemed to others, and her teachers DID try to talk her out of it but she just stormed off. 

So as she retreated to the comfort of her mansion. But also suffered the realistic loneliness when it came to trying to get away from her trauma because she started missing her friends. Still, Amy couldn’t bring herself to really communicate with them, both because she desperately didn’t want to feel reminded of anything that reminded her of her trauma, and out of guilt that she put them in the line of fire during her meltdown. And also because she knew that they started to fear her so it just gave her more of a reason to stay away. 

Which is partially why Shinsou and his parents offered to let her live at their house, saying there was a room waiting for her, but Amy politely declined because she didn’t want to be a burden on them.The parents were reluctant, but decided to let her have her freedom, as Amy had her own adventures when she wasn’t in school! She wasn’t present during the Joint Training Arc however, but she did cheer Shinsou on from her mansion using her scrying spell.

Oh yeah, and Amy spied on all of her friends using her bathtub to scry and see what they were doing, is that moral? Not really but she ain’t really moral to begin with. 

And during the free days, Shinsou would gladly be by Amy’s side and go to her mansion to check up on her as she recovered. She spent most of the days eating junk food, watching Netflix, writing very sad lyrics to songs she was trying to make, building her home theater, spending time on social media and making political posts about her intersectional feminism, making art and writing chapters to her memoir, recreating some of her favorite music videos, singing covers to her favorite songs, hanging out with Kaminari, playing games, and also occasionally fighting supernatural threats that showed up at Amy’s place every now and then. Shinsou was happy to be her partner-in-crime, looking out for her and being very much like a brother by spending time with her as he had been wanting to, and also drowned in some of his own sadness though, especially after losing to Izuku during the Joint Training Arc, again... while he was glad to find a new rival... didn’t mean he didn’t realize how far behind he was compared to everyone else...

So he was glad to just wallow with Amy since at least he had a friend to wallow and be sad with...

Most of the time Amy was just trying to have a good time with her bro Shinsou and her sisters Madison, Mallory and Coco. Watching all of her favorite things and they also helped her make a home theater! Although she did kinda start living like Thor did during Endgame, which Amy had yet to see at the time... but that’s how she lived... drowning herself in Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Dr. Pepper, Cookies, Oreos, Chocolate, Spaghetti and all of her other favorite foods and drinks... because she was... well depressed, and she eats when she’s depressed, a lot... then there’s the sad but realistic thing in that there were days where she didn’t even want to get out of bed.

Amy DID get visited though by her other friends however, particularly Kaminari, Todoroki, Iida and Yaoyorozu, and also Bakugo, Kirishima, Ashido and Sero, the ones she grew particularly close to and so she allowed them to come in and see her. They were also... pretty concerned, didn’t say anything since Shinsou outright warned them to watch their words around her, so they did... Bakugo didn’t really get the hint, but Amy was nice enough to not curse him. The same goes for Iida and Yaoyorozu, who were much more sensitive and merely wanted to see how she was recovering, and Amy appreciated the hell out of them which is why she let them in.

Anyone else she didn’t really want around though, got jinxed if they came too close to her gates or touched them, or got an apparition of her screaming for them to “GO AWAY!!”

Amy also spent the holidays mostly alone with Shinsou because while her former class did send her an invitation to the Class 1-A Christmas party, Amy turned it down and refused to go. Instead, she and Shinsou had their own party with Madison, Mallory and Coco where they just watched Christmas movies, played games and had a nice dinner provided by Mallory and even drank a little bit of rose provided by Madison. And then also, Shinsou’s parents invited Amy for a little vacation together to celebrate Christmas together after so long which really did make the witch feel wanted.

AND... Amy did some of her own things during the holidays by going out and doing some actual charity work by donating some of the money Fiona had left behind for certain organizations such as battered women’s shelters, the Trevor Project and Planned Parenthood. So she didn’t do JUST nothing, she was trying to do things for causes she believed in, and took breaks doing what she loved to do whenever she had free time. And she... had a lot of free time XD But one of her favorite things quickly became spending some time with her new online friend Ashlen, and sending her funny messages, making inside jokes and sharing her favorite movies, music and shows with her.

For a time she did leave her mansion though, particularly during the Winter Internship Arc so she could join Todoroki, Bakugo and Izuku in an internship with Endeavor. Because she didn’t want to turn down something from Todoroki, she actually went out. However, during this time she gained some weight since she did a lot of binge-eating, but she didn’t lose any power and still showed that she was just as strong as the guys, even if she was going through depression and that she was still capable of fighting. 

And then there’s Valentine’s Day... uh... Amy and Shinsou had an Anti-Valentine’s Day more than anything... XD Celebrated each other’s company and pretended to be happy with the fact that they were both single and mocked and made fun of every romantic movie just to cope... which was... kinda sad... but they WERE genuinely happy to have each other as company... 

Don’t worry though... she DOES eventually come out of her mansion and then returns to UA though~! To reunite with her classmates and return as a Hero Course student, but during her absence... this is... mostly what she did...

And frankly mostly of what I’M doing right now XD 

[verfound]

WIP Wednesday: 1/29/20 (MLB)

This is gonna be the last SSS/WIPW for a bit.  I’m not going to do them in February since I’ll be doing daily posts for @lukanette-month.  C:  Speaking of...here’s a bit I’m kind of fond of from ch3.  C:

“…conversation hearts…” Marinette whispered, her wide eyes staring ahead of her.  She had heard this conversation before.  She’d heard Luka…Luka was chuckling, looking at the couple with a sympathetic grin.

“Man, brutal,” he said quietly.  He looked back at her, and that feeling hit her again. Like a lead weight dropping into the pit of her stomach, even though he was smiling warmly at her.  “I can’t –”

“No, wait!” she cried, lurching forward with her hands out to stop him – but she had forgotten she’d been holding her tea. Her eyes widened in horror as she flung her scalding hot tea at him, the lid flying off as it bounced on the table and poured into his lap.  He cursed as he leapt back a second too late, his chair skidding into the wall as he gripped the molding around the doorway that led to the restrooms.  She gawked at his lap in horror – and then a different kind of mortification as she realized she was staring at his crotch and jerked her eyes up to his face.  He was gritting his teeth, a pained smile on his lips as he took a few steadying breaths.  She slapped her hands over her mouth, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes.  “Oh my God.  Luka, I am so –”

“It’s…it’s fine,” he said through a wince.  He stood a little straighter and jabbed a thumb towards the bathroom.  “I’ll be right back.  Honestly, Mari.  It was an accident.  It’s fine.”

Except it wasn’t, she couldn’t help but think, because she’d just dumped hot tea on his…she groaned and buried her face in her hands when he smiled at her again before heading towards the back.  She slumped forward onto the table once he was gone, hiding her head in her arms and banging her forehead against the table. Her self-deprecating mental tirade was cut off by the girl behind her shoving her against the table in her rush to flee her own failing date.  Marinette looked up to say something when she noticed that the last bump had also made Luka’s coffee spill, and not only was the drink dripping onto the floor but it was also soaking into the card he hadn’t even opened yet.

It was the final straw.

This was officially the worst Valentine’s Day ever.

With a frustrated whine, and completely ignore Tikki’s concerned questioning of if she was ok, she shoved away from the table and fled the café.  Once she was outside, she stopped by the streetlamp and pressed her forehead against the cold metal, raising her arms to cover her head.  She felt a tugging on her scarf and ignored it.  She couldn’t go back inside.  She couldn’t face him.  What the hell had she been thinking, trying to confess on Valentine’s Day?  What did she…

“Marinette!” Tikki’s shrill voice cut in.  “Stop it – you’re over-reacting!”

“No, I’m not,” she grumbled.  Tikki tugged on her scarf again.

“What’s Luka going to think when he comes back and you’re gone?  Don’t do that to him, Marinette!” Tikki begged.

“He deserves better,” she whined.  Tikki zipped out of her purse and ducked beneath her arms, hovering a few inches from her face.  Her kwami’s expression softened when she saw the tears on Marinette’s cheeks.

“He doesn’t think so,” Tikki reminded her softly. “You can still salvage this, Marinette, but you have to go back in there.  It will hurt him more if you don’t.”

Marinette bit her lip as Tikki placed a paw on her cheek. She nodded slightly, and Tikki smiled as she stood straighter.  She cupped her hands around her kwami, hiding her from sight, and Tikki nuzzled against her.

“You’re right,” she sighed.  “What would I do without you, Tikki?  You’re…”

But when she looked up, a painfully familiar purple butterfly was flapping its way across the sky.

“Akuma!” she hissed, and Tikki looked up just as the akuma flew overhead, continuing on across the street.  Marinette groaned and looked down at her.  “Luka’s going to have to wait.  We have to…”

But the akuma was gone.  With terrified eyes, she anxiously searched the sky for any trace of the little butterfly, but she had lost it.  She whirled around, her stomach sinking as she scanned the café behind her.  Luka had returned from the bathroom, and he was standing over their empty table with…oh, God.  The look on his face was killing her.  He was reading something, and she realized too late that it was the ruined card. Her stomach twisted painfully as he looked up, desperately searching the crowded café, until his gaze found hers through the window . His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pursing with a question, but then someone was screaming behind her, and he was looking at her with horror instead of heartbreak.

She turned just in time to be hit by a wall of light.

[solecize]

.  .  .  𝑩𝑨𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑼𝑺  (EPILOGUE) |

— — sometimes it’s the right person and the wrong time and place. you always thought that fate had more in store for you and jung jaehyun, but the college basketball player who once broke your heart and pieced it back together went missing for years on end after the crash of your relationship. now, you’ve put everything in the hands of fate.

note: not proofread of course this is probably shit bc its 4am also literally who the fuck asked for this to be so long lmao well, here it is. i originally wasn’t going to post this because i was satisfied with part twenty but clearly i wasn’t bc i added all of this lol and also everyone keeps asking for it 

MAY 27TH, 2022. 7:07 PM KST.

there was nothing you hated more than love songs.

they were lame, cheesy, and reminded you of your failed love life. however, since sooyoung never came to visit seoul, she insisted that she had full control of your apartment’s speakers for her short stay here. in fact, sooyoung made herself quite at home. johnny insisted that he would sleep on the couch and that she should take his bedroom, while she proceeded to redecorate yours. that included your closet.

“good lord, is this from high school? why don’t you own anything other than a variant of the same three colours? is this MINE?” sooyoung flung clothes left and right as she rummaged through your wardrobe. in the background, old ed sheeran slow dance-type songs was on full blast, leaving you in a puddle of irritation on your bed.

you snapped your head up to see sooyoung holding a red mini skirt that you vaguely remembered shoving beneath your workout clothes because you weren’t sure where to put it. “i dunno, probably.” you gave a half shrug.

she rolled her eyes and flung it into the pile that she’d been working on. “you have absolutely no formal clothing here. are you just going to show up to doyoung’s wedding in this stripper dress?” your friend of many, many years grumbled. “listen, i know it’s been a while since you’ve gotten laid, but. . .”

“ew, stop it.”

“am i wrong?” sooyoung cocked an eyebrow. “ever since you broke up with jaehyun, as far as i know and as far as lucas and i have gossiped, you have barely kept a relationship since.” 

the mention of your ex boyfriend left you having no choice but to hurl one of your throw pillows at sooyoung, aiming for her head, but she effectively ducked down in time. although it’d been quite some time since the split, you still weren’t comfortable talking about jaehyun. you’d casually dated here and there, but nothing really lasted longer than a month. you blamed it on school and dance and work, which were all genuinely busy for you, but it didn’t seem right.

you said, “god. don’t say it like that, it’s pathetic!” plain embarrassing, really. “it’s been, like, three years.”

that didn’t mean that the thoughts of jaehyun didn’t plague your mind from time to time. he’d sometimes creep up with your thoughts at night, keeping you tossing and turning for hours. you always figured that it was what life intended to happen, despite the fact that you were the one who voluntarily ended it.

after becoming an official couple during your freshman year, the two of you had a wonderful time together. however, it didn’t take long for reality to sink in when jaehyun’s graduation date was fast approaching. generally, it wasn’t supposed to be a problem, but then he revealed something to you that he himself admitted that he should’ve told you about far sooner. law school. you always figured that jaehyun would want to continue studying in seoul, where his family was and where his feet seemed to be permanently set. that was the beginning of the end and down came crashing the supposed plans that the two of you were supposed to have.

before meeting you, jaehyun planned to move back to america and attend law school there. he revealed that he never told you about it because he decided that he would stay in korea for you. obviously, you weren’t going to have any of that. it was his dream—and a hell of a hard dream to get into, you did your research—and there was no way in hell that you were going to let him give it up for you. 

“i’ll always need you” was what he told you before he left. it was never supposed to be the end and you thought that three years was nothing. looking back, it was definitely naive to assume that the sudden change of jaehyun’s position from across the city district to across the world wasn’t going to affect you.

you remembered the first signs of the relationship’s downfall. they were subtle and you couldn’t have possibly noticed them back them, however in retrospect, you truly should have. postponed upon postponed skype sessions, forgetting important dates, and of course, the arguments.  immaturity made the fights worse, a trait evident in him considering the nature of the bet, but you decided that he was bettering himself. you and jaehyun were fairly young and possessed equally destructive tempers. 

at the end of everything, after the summer of your life and the pitfalls that came with the autumn semester, you and jaehyun called it quits on valentine’s day. it was his birthday and a holiday of love, but the feeling was mutual. there was still love between the two of you, but it was decided that life had a different plan. sometimes, it was the right person, but the wrong time and place. from that point on, you lived life the way it was meant to be. 

the sound of the front door opening brought you back to reality. you hadn’t noticed, too busy reminiscing about your past, but sooyoung was delivering a tirade about your love life. there were bits and pieces that you caught onto, including how you “never put yourself first anymore” and how “ballet wasn’t going to put a ring on your finger,” but you chose to mute her out. thankfully, she stopped when she, too, heard the front door open. 

“johnny?” she called out, as she turned her music down from her phone.

a muffle acknowledgement could be heard and not even seconds later, johnny appeared at your bedroom doorway. he wore a sleek maroon suit and a matching tie, an outfit that was probably worth more than quadruple your rent. these days, johnny looked exhausted at home, yet still managed to find ways to mask his humanity while he was at work.

despite the fact that you lived with him in an average two bedroom apartment, he was still john seo, heir to some big shot insurance company and son to one of korea’s most renowned chefs. it was easy to forget, as you always saw him as just another brainless jock in college. things changed after johnny was left high and dry when sicheng left to further his modelling career, doyoung went to teachers’ college, and jaehyun disappeared to the other side of the world. the latter was what truly brought the two of you together.

for quite some time, you continued to hold a grudge against johnny for the idiotic bet that he commenced. it took some effort, but after deciding to get to know jaehyun all over again, you realized that you might as well show johnny the same kindness. you did so, and discovered that johnny was still the same goofy person that you thought you knew. he’d definitely grown a greater appreciation for you after you helped him with his injury that fateful night. sure, he was a little bit immature at times, but you saw that the end of his college career was what forced him to grow up. it was like reality had finally sunk in when all of his friends left and he had no choice but to uphold the promise he made to his father as a teenager and work for the family company. usually, he would have turned to jaehyun for comfort and hurt from the absence of his best friend. at the same time, you also felt the same way after he left and inevitably, the two of you turned to each other and thus, blossomed a deeper friendship with the man, more than you’d ever expected.

“i still can’t believe you willingly choose to live in this apartment with y/n instead of a big house like you can probably afford,” sooyoung said out of nowhere, eyeing his appearance.

you retorted, “there’s no fun in that.” it was true, johnny could probably move out at any second he wanted to. since sooyoung moved to france, the arrangement came naturally. he moved into the apartment that once belonged to lucas and sooyoung, then you and sooyoung, after lucas moved closer to campus. eventually it was just you, who could not pay the rent as one person, alone. two years later, the system was still in tact and johnny told you that he was never in a rush to move out, as he always thought it would feel lonely to live alone. 

you’d effectively had enough of sooyoung’s attempt at being a personal stylist and got up yourself, making your way to scour your closet for an outfit.

“don’t tell me you’re looking for something to wear to the wedding. there’s literally two days left.” johnny grimaced, looking around the room, where the floor could barely be seen due to scattered articles of clothing. “dude, you’ve had so many months to find a dress.”

sooyoung poked his chest. “not everybody owns two hundred different suits, jonathan.”

it wasn’t as much of a travesty as sooyoung made it out to be, but your closet did look pretty bad. there wasn’t exactly a myriad of options that screamed wedding, except for one or two dresses that you pictured better in your mind when you thought of options that you already owned. this was going to be a pain in the ass.

“can this wait, though?” johnny glanced past your head, at the clock on the wall above your dresser. “i’m going to go pick up sicheng at the airport. i’m assuming you want to come?”

you gasped dramatically. “my wedding date is here, of course i’m coming!” a grin stretched across your face.”

all of your friends were tragically single, even the rich and famous ones like sicheng and johnny. doyoung made a remark about how none of you were probably going to find a date to the wedding. with everyone digging deep into their inner smartass, you all paired up as dates for the elementary school teacher’s wedding. it was you and sicheng and johnny and sooyoung, while lucas insisted that he was going to be objecting to the marriage during the ceremony so that he could have doyoung to himself. 

at the end of the day, you were just happy to have all of your friends in one place at once.

DECEMBER 24TH, 2019. 10:49 PM KST.

distracted by the glimmering lights of christmas, you failed to do anything about jaehyun’s standoffish behaviour. since the holiday season kicked into full swing weeks ago, you were preoccupied with juggling the christmas ballet show, buying presents for your friends, and of course, school. now, you found yourself in the middle of johnny’s family’s penthouse in gangnam, sipping on a candy cane cocktail.

“what do you mean, you’re thinking about dropping out?” your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, as sooyoung announced the news to your group of friends. your reaction wasn’t the worse one, however, as lucas literally choked on the gingerbread man he was eating.

beside you, doyoung patted lucas’ back, trying to get him to recover. “for good?” he eyed the female.

she shrugged carelessly. “yeah. i don’t think this is for me.”

“but, you only have a year left,” said sicheng, who seemed to appear out of nowhere. you even jumped at his voice, as you thought you last saw him across the living room talking to some fancy businessmen with johnny and jaehyun.

you surveyed that side of the room, where you saw johnny still in place. ever since graduation, he was thrown right into the world of his father’s insurance company. it surprised you just how robotic he could become in front of important people, as impressive as it was, yet was able to continue be as goofy as ever with you and your friends. it was a little disappointing to see that his own christmas party was full of business, even though sicheng and jaehyun flew out back for this short amount of time. jaehyun. swiftly, you noticed that he was also missing.

tapping sicheng’s arm, you inquired, “do you know where jaehyun went?” 

it wasn’t hard to recognize his change in attitude since landing in korea. you figured it might have had something to do with the fight that the two of you had right before he left, one not about anything particularly specific, but a build up of several issues arising over the months. nonetheless, after a while, the two of you seemed to settle the conflict mutually without actually  saying anything out loud.

the two of you fought so often because of your circumstances, but forgave just as easily because you loved each other too much to let things affect you. in the long run, it wasn’t going to be healthy. the two opposing ends were simply not meant to be cancelled out.

“hm? oh, i think he went out on the balcony, the one in johnny’s room.”

sooyoung was still busy explaining her sudden desire to travel the world and while you were very concerned with your friend’s spontaneity (and also the fact that if she dropped out, you would be roommate-less, as lucas moved out), you got up from your position on the couch. weaving through the crowd was easy enough and you strolled down the narrow hallway that johnny showed you earlier, where the bedrooms were located. you picked his out easily and knocked first, to no answer. as a result, you decided to just open it up.

the entire room was dim and you could barely see anything at all, despite the little light streaming in through the blinds. beyond was johnny’s balcony, illuminated by the sights of seoul and the luminosity of the skyscrapers along the city’s skyline. you could barely make out a figure leaning against the railing. 

it was jaehyun’s red jordans that gave him away. he flew in from pennsylvania without bringing any dress shoes and it was either these basketball shoes that he gave you before leaving—of course he gave you those—or the ugly vans that he’d been wearing during the whole trip back. you knew his broad shoulders and the way he always balanced his weight on his right leg and bent his left.

you approached slowly, but he somehow managed to hear you and took a glimpse over his shoulder. he smiled softly when he saw you and slid the balcony door open.

“hey,” he said, voice quieter than usual. “i thought you’d be enjoying the party.” jaehyun wrapped one arm around your shoulders.

“you’ve barely been around, jae.” you frowned. although the two of you arrived together, he always seemed to be off to the side alone, even with the few times johnny roped him into conversation with other people. “are you tired or something? we can go home if you want.”

at that, he only shrugged. “it’s whatever.”

you studied his expression intently, possibly for answers as to why he was acting so off. it was all the jaehyun had been doing lately, shrugging everything off and acting sluggishly. it was like someone who didn’t want to be here. this was the first time you’d finally taken notice of it.

he saw the way you were looking at him and leaned in to press a kiss against your forehead, as if to reassure you, but it felt empty. there was something floating in the air that didn’t want to be said, something that didn’t want to be touched. however, the two of you continued on with smiles and left for the party once again.

MAY 28TH, 2022. 2:11 PM KST.

jaehyun hated thinking about you and the way things ended with your relationship. you’d always told him that everything happened for a reason and the end of the two of you had one as well. he just always thought that there could’ve and should’ve been something done to prevent it. of course, jaehyun placed a lot of the guilt on himself and it took a while for him to realize that some things just aren’t meant to be. 

the male rarely came home anymore. in the past three years, other than the first christmas, he only flew over for his mother’s birthday, as well as his sister’s, both of which were conveniently during the same week. he spent the holidays alone, albeit with some of his newfound friends in america. meanwhile, his old ones rarely heard from him. jaehyun chatted scarcely with his former teammates here and there, mostly talking to johnny the most because of the latter’s persistence. hell, it took doyoung weeks to get ahold of jaehyun so that he could extend the invitation to his wedding. it was a big deal when jaehyun hopped on a plane back to seoul and that was precisely why he did not tell anybody other than doyoung and johnny.

home reminded him of you. his family moved away from seoul to a quieter town years ago and while seoul was his home territory, it was always going to be a city that belonged to the two of you. even just getting off the plane and taking a look around the airport, jaehyun remembered the exact spot that he said goodbye to you. it had been three years, but after supressing the emotions and memories for years, it all came flooding back to him. he tried to shove those feeling away yet again when he caught sight of a familiar friend at the arrivals gate.

“JAEHYUN!” doyoung had never hugged jaehyun so hard in his entire life before, the newly arrived male could literally feel the breath getting squeezed out of him.

seeing doyoung again was like reuniting with a brother. “holy fuck, it’s been way too long.” he gasped for air when he was finally released.

“did you get buffer, what the hell?”

“uh, are you about to get hitched, what the hell?” 

the only other thing that jaehyun could’ve asked for was the presence of their other friends. from what doyoung told him, johnny picked sicheng up from the airport the day prior, sooyoung flew in at the beginning of the week, and y/n wrestled lucas out of his apartment to go last minute shopping today. doyoung probably noticed the way jaehyun shifted uncomfortably at the mention of his ex girlfriend’s name, but didn’t say anything.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t have come earlier,” jaehyun said, i really wanted to come to the bachelor’s party, but i had my graduation ceremony earlier this week.” both men grinned, hearing about the bachelor’s party. of course, all the crazy shit that went down was relayed to jaehyun, including how lucas gave doyoung a lap dance, jungwoo broke an entire television, how johnny and taeil pushed doyoung into a pool full of hired dancers—everything. 

doyoung shrugged it off. “don’t worry about it, but hey! congrats! you did it, you’re basically a real lawyer now.” he nudged his friend playfully. “you’re going to be living comfortably there in america with that law degree under your belt.”

a lack of response came from jaehyun’s end, as the two men made their way to the pick up section, where doyoung’s fiancee was waiting for them in the car. jaehyun figured that his late arrival would just add to the element of surprise. they talked about wedding preparations, work, and more. 

they stepped outside, through the automatic sliding doors and the seoul sun hit jaehyun’s face without hesitation. he took a deep breath—this was home and he was finally here. for the most part, at least, this was home. now, he needed to find the missing part of it.

MAY 29TH, 2022. 9:20 PM KST.

the universe felt like everything in balance for the first time in forever. the spring of your first year of college was one that was for the history books and relieving that with all of your old friends around you made you feel nothing less than content. the ending notes of an usher song faded into another one, as you and your friends took your second round of shots at the bar.

“i’m so ready to get fucked up tonight!” lucas whooped and it made you happy; you had not seen him, for a lack of better words, so wild and free in a long time.

the volume of his yell and the proximity to taeyong’s ear caused your brother to wince harshly at the assault. you giggled at that, patting his arm with sympathy. similar to lucas, taeyong rarely found time to myself and to have fun. you thought it was nice of doyoung to also invite him, considering they spent four years of their lives swearing on each others’ names, even though they never actually knew each other. he also seemed to serve as lucas’ last minute date when he realized that it was probably best that he shouldn’t object to the marriage during the ceremony. (he still muttered it under his breath, though)

there were no other words to describe the reception other than ravishing, breathtaking, or simply just beautiful. the surrounding area was full of lush gardens and trees that had absolutely no business being in the middle of bustling seoul. twinkly lights hung from pole to pole, as the sounds of laughter and music filled your ears.

with that, lucas was dragged away by sooyoung to the middle of the dancefloor and doyoung left to attend to his new wife. this left you with taeyong and sicheng. it was an hour or so into the reception and you were not nearly as drunk as you wanted to be after an exhausting day, so you ordered a cocktail for yourself. 

looking briefly back at the pair after ordering, you noticed them having an oddly intense conversation. taeyong was making some peculiar hand gestures and it seemed like sicheng was agreeing profusely. you couldn’t be too sure over the blaring music.

“what’s going on?”

for whatever reason, it was as if they forgot that you were present and jumped. you caught taeyong eyeing something behind you, but before you could look, sicheng cut in.

“listen, y/n. i think you need to take a deep breath,” he suggested and that only made your suspicion grow even more.

abruptly, taeyong swore. you furrowed your eyebrows at that and turned your head. even lucas and sooyoung stopped dancing. you couldn’t make it out at first, but when you did, it was as if you saw a ghost.

clad in an all black suit without a tie and unsurprisingly, red jordans, was jung jaehyun. his hair was a natural black for the first time in the amount of time that you knew him. he had one hand shoved into his pocket. he made your stomach do backflips and tumbles and light your chest on fire. oxygen left your throat and you blinked the dizziness away. 

“that isn’t. .  .”

you always wondered what it would be like if you ever encountered jaehyun again, whether it would be in five years down the line, maybe ten, maybe even more. would it be in korea? an accident? an event like this? you didn’t expect jaehyun to show up in all honesty, as doyoung remarked dismissively that he hadn’t heard from jaehyun since you had. you wanted to say that you forgot he existed, which you admittedly did at times. however, since the arrival of all of your old friends, the memories began coming back to you. 

now, it was jaehyun who came back to you.

you were too focused on him to notice the female linking arms with him. you noticed her before, she was one of doyoung’s wife’s bridesmaids. she was pretty, probably around your age, but you weren’t sure exactly who she was. 

before you could jump to conclusions, she broke free of jaehyun’s arm and started making a beeline in your direction. your heart nearly stopped at this point, what the hell was happening? meanwhile, jaehyun was too busy being tackled with hugs by lucas and doyoung, with sicheng following suit. the woman stopped in front of you and taeyong, though her entire focus was set on him.

“hi, jinah.” taeyong said simply at the woman and you attempted to search every nook and cranny of your memory for that name.

she smiled warmly and the two of them sparked a conversation amongst themselves.

confused, you decided to slowly back out, grab your drink, and maybe take a breather elsewhere. there were paths that you took notice of earlier, ones that led deeper into the gorgeous gardens, and you figured that now was a better time than any to tour the area, even if you were alone. there was just no way you could face jung jaehyun now.

then, the starting piano notes to a hauntingly familiar song began to play. your lips parted in shock and you wondered if you were hearing correctly, this song that you left in your past. closing your eyes, you took in the first few lyrics of the song and realized that this was reality.

the dancefloor around jaehyun began to part for couples to take the spotlight, as everyone began to pair up.  he nearly tripped over his own two feet, having not heard the song in years. 

“by the way, she’s by the bar. i know you’re looking for her,” johnny said casually, taking a sip of his beer. 

jaehyun didn’t want to admit out loud that he was ‘looking for you,’ but you were definitely something that had been on his mind. he sat in the back during the ceremony, laying low with johnny, but he remembered what had happened to him when he saw you for the first time in three years. it was like everything fell apart and he forgot how to function. despite being apart for so long, you still managed to have that effect on him.

however, he didn’t go to you. he let the song that played during all of your late night roadtrips play without asking you for a dance. it wasn’t right and it was no longer his place.

MAY 29TH, 2022. 10:42 PM KST.

everyone had been pushing you all night to go and just fucking talk to jaehyun. you felt like a high school student who didn’t have the guts to confess to their crush, it was idiotic. thankfully, you’d yet to physically run into each other, mostly due to the fact that you were rotating between hiding behind sicheng and taeyong. mostly sicheng, due to the fact that taeyong was busy catching up with his own ex lover. how could he have the guts, but you didn’t?

you escaped for the nth time that night, trailing into the parking lot. after hours on heels, you eventually gave up on them and removed the shoes, opting to walk around barefoot. to the outsider, you probably looked crazy, walking back and forth without shoes on and muttering things to yourself.

“hi, jaehyun. how are you—how have you been? been?”

the clock was ticking fast. you needed to find a way to build up the courage and stop hiding from him and at least attempt to have a civil conversation. you weren’t even sure what you were afraid of in the first place (yes, you did.) were you scared that he wouldn’t want to talk to you? forget who you were? 

no, you were afraid that you would get sucked into those big, brown eyes and those dimples again. you afraid that you were going to lose yourself in his velvety smooth voice and his wits. you were afraid that you would fall for him again.

“i’ve been fine, thank you.”

this time, you legitimately fell, not for jaehyun, but because of him. he was standing right behind you and not for a second did you suspect any footsteps coming your way. for that, you toppled over and your body folded into one in pure shock. luckily, he was there to catch you before you fully fell down and steadied your body.

jaehyun widened his eyes. “shit, are you okay?”

“mmph. just tipsy.” you couldn’t even feel embarrassed, too engrossed in the feeling of pain from scraping your knee. 

his arms still remained around you even after you were back on two feet. jaehyun’s eyes trailed over your body, noticing that there was a slight dirt stain on your dress after tripping. he realized what he was doing and that it probably looked like he was checking you out, so he let go immediately.

you raised an eyebrow. “why are you here?”

“this is my sister’s car that you’re pacing in front of—i was just going to grab my phone charger.” 

“i think i need a break from here.” despite the fact that you’d been practicing for an hour to talk to jaehyun, words fell out of your mouth without any second thought. it was all natural and you spoke to him like no time had passed since the last time you saw him all those years ago.

jaehyun paused, seemingly lost in his thoughts for a few moments. he looked back at the party, then back to you. you noted that he was debating about something in his head, without a doubt.

he suggested, “so, let’s go for a drive, then?” the statement caught you off guard, as you watched jaehyun unlocked the car doors. “like old times. it always made you feel better.”

there was no denying that. you weren’t sure what you expected for this reencounter with jaehyun. despite constantly imagining it, this wasn’t exactly the way you thought it was going to go. 

“have you been drinking?” you asked, not wanting to risk anything.

jaehyun smiled. “no. i drove jinah here and i’ll be taking her back.” 

you looked back the party yourself, wondering if it would cause any trouble if you left for an hour or so. probably not. you took a deep breath and decided to throw caution to the wind. there couldn’t have been anything wrong with going for a drive with jaehyun, you’d done so a million times during your whirlwind relationship. 

getting into the passenger seat, you glanced over and saw that jaehyun was beginning to charge his phone. he turned on the screen and appearing as if he was about to open up his spotify, you immediately snatched his phone away. for a second, you thought he might have been angered from the gesture, as it was one you did automatically like you used to, but he simply chuckled and failed to even protest. you turned on one of your own playlists.

“why didn’t you say that you were coming?”

“we haven’t spoken in a while, y/n,” responded jaehyun, as he looked down at his two feet. “and that’s mostly because of me. i wasn’t sure if you even wanted to hear anything from me.”

he began to reverse out of the parking spot, as meticulous as ever. the windows rolled down halfway on either sides and the street lamp light shone against his skin. it was a sight that you thought you’d never see again.

“i thought i never would,” you admitted, wondering why you were never the one to reach out first. “it’s stupid.”

“things get stupid,” jaehyun shrugged.

the two of you took your old route around the city. for an hour, the two of you caught up on what exactly had been going on in your lives for the past three years. you discovered that jaehyun lived alone, but had a cat named pepper. he has two good friends in america, both fellow law school students, but they’re going to be practicing in new york. he showed up to his graduation late, just like he did three years ago. he wasn’t the top of his class, but he was a decent suck up to his professors. he got a part time job at the local zoo. jaehyun hadn’t gotten into a serious relationship, only dated casually like you had. he started playing a bit of american football, but his true love was always going to be basketball. his dad was proud of who his son was, even after throwing away national victory.

the old ice cream spot that you used to go to late at night closed down sometime in the past three years. it was disappointing, but the two of you got greasy street food instead and it was just as good. you didn’t want to insult doyoung on his wedding day, but the food was pretty shitty and this was just what you needed.

“i just find it so weird that this is how everyone turned out after all this time,” jaehyun remarked, as the two of you returned to the venue. it had been quite some time since leaving, but the party was still in full swing.

you nodded. “you think everyone’s happy?”

“johnny? no, but he will be someday. lucas is definitely stressed as hell,” he chuckled a bit. “sicheng is. sooyoung is still finding herself. i think we’re all a little bit here, there, and in between and that’s okay. we have time.”

“are you happy in america?” you asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“i am, but i’ll be even happier in korea.”

“what?”

before he could answer, a swarm of individuals collided with the two of you. it was everyone, some greeting you, others questioning where the two of you have been, while others, namely lucas, nagged for you to join them at the bar or on the dancefloor. you’d just sobered up, so you opted to join johnny and sicheng on the dancefloor to the voices of old school girls generation and jaehyun was unwillingly whisked away to the bar by lucas.

MAY 30TH, 2022. 12:56 AM KST.

there were just a few more minutes until the music was to stop playing for the reception and all of the guests were to be sent home. you spent the last while mostly with sicheng and sooyoung, as you knew they were the first ones you’d have to say goodbye to when everything was over. however, there was one more person that you needed to see and that was jaehyun. thankfully, he made a magical reappearance just in time for the last dance.

the sappy love song was a special request made by a very single johnny, who drunk slow danced with lucas in the middle of the floor. you were sitting at your table, taking a break from your devil shoes and talking with sooyoung when jaehyun strode over. you bit your lip, having noticed him started to make his way from your peripheral vision and mentally tried to prepare yourself.

“sorry to interrupt,” jaehyun said, “but i’d really like a dance, y/n.”

“she’s all yours,” sooyoung answered before you could, a smirk pressed on her lips. 

you stifled a laugh a her and got onto your feet, slipping the heels on and grimacing at the feeling. jaehyun helped steady you for the second time that night and you thanked him quietly, as he led you onto the dance floor.

something in you wished that he asked you to dance with him earlier, but this song was just as warm and fuzzy. they were about, simply put, love and the purity of it. jaehyun slid his arms around your waist and you placed your hands on his shoulders like it was an instinct.

all of a sudden, he said, “i wish things ended up differently.”

“jaehyun. .  .”

“doesn’t it feel like nothing’s changed?” jaehyun asked, taking his finger and pulling your chin up, so that he could meet your eyes. “it’s been, what, three years? you can’t tell me that it doesn’t feel like it.”

you cocked an eyebrow at him. “what are you trying to say?”

the feeling of stares burning into the back of your head was overwhelming. you were certain that all of your friends were watching the two of you, but you didn’t even care.

“i know we said that it was life that made things go wrong with us, but we can’t just blame that. it was us, too, you know.”

jaehyun nodded, eyes closed. “things started to feel empty when we stopped putting in the effort. that didn’t mean that i didn’t love you.”

“did you, though? shouldn’t you have put in the effort to show it?” you countered. it wasn’t like you wanted to argue with him, but the emotions were starting to spill out when you hadn’t been able to talk about this with him or anyone for years. “and don’t get me wrong, i can say the same for myself.”

“we were immature and we were taking everything so fast. we told each other that we’d get married after four months of dating,” he pointed out and you couldn’t help but reminisce about it, the feeling of young and stupid love that you felt for each other.

you let out a long sigh, placing your head on his chest to hide your frustrated expression. it was happening, the one thing that you were afraid of. you couldn’t afford to get lost in jung jaehyun and his pretty dimples and smooth talk again. 

you said, “can we please not do this? it’s not going to end well.”

“why? because that’s the way life dealt our cards?” jaehyun retorted. “it’s not that deep, we were separated by distance, so what? that wasn’t the problem.”

“then, what was it?” you asked.

jaehyun ran a hand through his messy, dark hair. “alright. you know what my dad told me during nationals in my last year?”

“oh, the nationals that you willingly lost? yeah, i remember it vaguely, nothing too special.”

he playfully poked your side, causing you to squeal and also turn some heads around the two of you. “shut up. yes, that one. he told me that there are two ways to play the game of basketball. you could either play it as it is, as the game flows and how it’s expected to be played by logic and precedent. then, there’s the way where you take control and ignore all other circumstances in order to focus on your goal.”

“god, nobody other than you would compare our relationship to basketball,” you laughed and so did he.

“fine, i guess i should just skip to the part where i tell you i’m staying in korea to shut your sarcastic ass up.”

“wait, what?” you stopped in your swaying movements, completely frozen at the news. “you’re. . .what?”

jaehyun grinned and pushed some of your hair out of your eyes. “i'm going to be working here. i have an articling job lined up already and from there, i’m going to build my career here in seoul.”

“b-but, i thought you were going to stay in—”

“i thought a little bit of risk taking was needed in my life. it was nice and it would probably be easier to start off there, but i think it’s time i take control. i took too much time blaming our circumstances and not doing anything about it. if i stayed in america where i knew that i wouldn’t be as happy as i would be here, but stayed because it was easier, it would be just like the unhappiness i felt after we ended things,” jaehyun said.

you nodded. “i’m sorry. i was like that, too.”

jaehyun shook his head, a small smile still playing on his lips. “it’s all in the past.” he said, “and since i’m back here permanently, i figured a good way to start my new life here was to steal my ex girlfriend’s heart again.”

it turned out that you didn’t need to fall back in love with jaehyun because like the two of you said before, the love was always going to be there. love is sweeter the second time around, even when the fates don’t exactly line up perfectly for you. that’s when you capture your own destiny. jaehyun was with you and he was finally home.

jaehyun & y/n’s song: my thoughts on you by the band camino the last dance song: all my life by wild

tag list: @i-hate-these-people​ @glitterystanz​ @jkuwus​ @jenojae  @csillagosegnelkul​ @imtaehyungry​ @theloouiisee​ @ikonictaelien​ @knisterlicht​ @seungkwanismyaesthetic​ @jaemingold​ @xysabella​ @sua246​ @ireallyjustneedcoffee​ @p-platonica​ @just-a-dream-40​ @fuckthatfeeling​   @sehunights​ @xjinyoungiee

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 9: “Yuki Was My First Love”

In this episode of Fruits Basket, we ask ourselves a simple question: fellas, is it bisexual to have your first love be a guy while you’re also currently dating a girl?

And the answer is yes it is.

Anyway, this was a fun breather episode to introduce The Goodest Boi Haru [tm].

Thoughts under the cut.

Considering that most of these posts of mine end up being about pointing out the differences between the different versions of the story, the fact that this episode is basically 1:1 with the manga, and is also exactly the same as how the 2001 anime handled it, there’s probably not gonna be a lot for me to say, lol.

I’m actually a bit surprised they didn’t add ANYTHING from later in the manga. I thought they’d at least take the chance to tease at Haru’s relationship with Rin, but I guess not. It’s not a huge deal, but I at least hope that when they finally do bring up her and her relationship with Haru in the anime, it doesn’t feel too sudden.

I’ve been wanting to mention this for a while, but I’ve been waiting until we got to this part to see how they handled it. Are we meant to think that Haru’s officially dating Rin by this point in the story? I think their break-up happens shortly before chapter 43, but I don’t think it’s ever spelled out when exactly they first started dating, so I’ve never been able to tell if we’re meant to think they were already dating by this point, or if that started happening after this point.

Mostly I’m just curious about it because Haru definitely came across like he was still interested in dating Yuki in this episode, with his whole line about ‘making Yuki mine’. Which would be a bit odd if he’s already dating someone by this point.

Anyway, I like how they’re handling Haru in the reboot thus far. We already saw a bit of him in the last episode, but this one gave us a much better image of him. I really like how soft and calm his voice is, at least in Japanese. I haven’t watched the dub version of this episode or the last one so I dunno how his English VA sounds exactly. But either way, this sorta voice really fits him. I thought his Dark Haru voice would be a fair bit louder and harsher than it actually ended up being, but it also works pretty well.

And on the whole note of Dark Haru, let me just say that, in terms of how it works as a localization, ‘Dark Haru’ is SO much better than ‘Black Haru’. I actually wish the manga could have gone for that translation as well, instead of being literal and 1:1 with it. This is one of those cases where it’s really best to take some creative liberties to account for cultural differences. In Japanese they literally use the English words ‘white’ and ‘black’ to describe his personalities, but as loanwords in Japanese they have much different connotations than they do in English, which you have to account for when translating. I don’t think it’s a bad thing for them to use those words this way in Japanese, but it’s jut an entirely different situation in English. I’m probably gonna stick to using that translation when talking about him from now on. I haven’t seen the dub version of this episode yet, but I hope the dub script also uses this same translation.

Though on the note of the sub translation in general, I dunno if I’ve mentioned it, but the overall translation is really kinda . . . stiff and unnatural at times. The dub script, from what I’ve heard of it, flows a lot better. Pretty much everywhere other than this episode’s Light/Dark Haru thing, it feels like they’re being too literal and robotic in how they translate a lot of lines. It’s not a huge deal, but I can’t help but notice it sometimes.

I don’t think there was anything in this episode that wasn’t already in the manga, but I like how they made the flashback Yuki had right before his bronchial attack a bit more forceful and unsettling than it was in the manga. I had to check back to remind myself that there was actually a panel showing Akito with her hands over Yuki’s face, but it’s very off to the side and easy to gloss over, whereas it was really creepy and unnerving in this episode, which I really liked. There’s a lot of little things like that the reboot’s been doing which I think help get across Yuki’s feelings and past traumas more clearly.

One thing I really didn’t see coming was that they showed Ritsu’s monkey form in the ED along with Haru’s ox form, which was . . . unexpected. Considering that Ritsu isn’t going to show up for like ten more episodes, and he never even interacts with Haru, lol. I’m not entirely sure what they were going for there. I almost thought it was Kisa’s tiger form for a split second, which would have at least made a bit more sense.

That’s basically all I have to say about this episode itself, but it’s worth noting that we’ve recently found out that the reboot is apparently going to be 63 episodes total, which is gonna help me get a feel for what sorta pacing they’re going for. I made a whole post about that yesterday though.

Anyway, next week’s episode is going to be the Valentine’s Day one. I’m actually pretty excited for it, since if it’s accurate to the manga, it’s going to feel VERY different to the 2001 episode’s take on it. It’s one of the parts where they removed a whole lot of material that was there to set up for later character development, so there’s gonna be some stuff in the next episode that wasn’t in the 2001 anime, unlike this episode which is basically the same across all three takes on this part of the story.

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

CNY 15th 🐷

After days weeks of procrastination, I’m finally writing again! Wanted to write last month but got a little too overwhelmed with everything, and then wanted to do it for the start of Chinese New Year, and now it's already the last day of CNY 😅  

So much happened over the past few weeks, considering it's almost 2 months now since my last post.

From a temporary position, now I'm officially a full timer. Last time I wrote about this, I was nervous as heck about it. Honestly I've only finally started easing into the fact that now I'm a full time staff there. And technically back then, I wasn't really sure if I was converted to full time or just that my probation was over (all thanks to my mom adding to the confusion).

But, the road leading up to me easing into this wasn't so simple. Since I was first offered the new job scope, it took about a couple weeks before my colleague actually gave me anything, and during that entire period, I had so much contemplation of leaving, but I felt like that would make me seem impatient.

Anyhoo. I held on. I waited. Finally came the day where my colleague started showing me the ropes, well the 2nd part of it at least, which was to supervise and tally our orders (we're also supposed to do the ordering based on sales and all). I definitely wasn't into it, and I openly admitted it to her, that I doubt I would be staying long there as this isn't really a job I'd like to do.

And then it got a little more dramatic cos she told the boss, thinking that I WAS going to resign. This also made me doubt my other colleague who I had also confided into, and I'm just glad I found out the truth. (Man you can't trust people sometimes) Well basically I found out through my colleague in charge of Human Resources, cos the boss got her to talk to me, wondering if the reason I'm planning to leave is due to the relationships there. I assured her that it was just the job scope. 

The more I thought about it, the more nervous I was that after I left the company without doing anything related to what I wanted to do, I would become more out of touch and then no one was going to hire me. I know people always talk about going for your dreams and all that, and that’s something I truly believe in, but I also didn’t want to have to make my parents worry about me. But despite everything, I still wanted a job that I loved and won’t make me dread waking up every morning. 

Fast forward a week later, she came to talk to me again. Funny thing too, it was right after I took a day off for CNY spring cleaning, which I took the chance to call my counsellor since she checked in with me the day before. Perfect timing too, one of those overwhelming days, and it really helped to talk to her. Definitely missed our sessions. Spoke for almost 30 mins while I was home and my dad was outside my room, so he might have heard some stuff (definitely sounded different speaking to her vs at home) and he did mouth "who is it" but I definitely still didn't feel very comfortable telling them about this side of me. Not yet. 

Back to my convo with my colleague, she explained that apparently there was some sort of miscommunication during our previous meeting with the bosses. Apparently my new job scope wasn't just gonna be logistics and paperwork, they wanted to give me some offline marketing stuff to do too, especially since they know that's what I've studied and that's where my passion lies. We talked for a bit, this time a little more in depth so there won't be any more misunderstanding. She clarified that I won't just be doing ads and I'd still have to do the logistics part, since that's the part they'd mostly need, and those ads definitely won't be done all year round either. She/they also want to let me try out designing, but the thing was there's no one else there that can do designing, so I gotta figure it out myself.

And, so, they gave me the weekend to consider if I was okay with this plan. It was hard, especially when she mentioned that she wishes I would promise to stay for a year or two, as I learn and gain experience doing this. It definitely freaked me out. 6 months already sounds pretty long, let alone a year or two.

I discussed it with so many people - my parents, my trusted inner circle, and again, my counsellor. I finally made my decision and agreed, but on my terms, which of course, I wouldn’t promise to stay a year. I told her I’d do this as long as I felt I was still doing something fulfilling, something that I love, or well, like. She said that was alright and she wouldn’t mention that to the bosses, since what they mainly wanted to know was if I was staying or leaving. 

Well, so I guess that’s that for the work part of my life. It’s the last day of Chinese New Year already, which I already said at the start. Dang, this post is long. But man, time flies. 

CNY had been pretty great. Got to drive both mornings to my uncle’s and aunt’s, and it wasn’t too bad. Of course, I still can’t park hah. Still a lil awks with my cousins, but we did take quite a bit of pics this year too. Speaking of, I finally made my first insta post. It’s been.. maybe a year or two since I created Insta, but I’d been waiting for a perfect moment for my first post. Was meant to be like with my future boyfriend relationship, but God knows how long that’s gonna take. 

BUT, for the first time this Valentine’s, I’VE GOT A DATE. Withhhh... THE CAST AND DIRECTORS OF CAPTAIN MARVEL! Brie Larson, Samuel L Jackson, Gemma Chan, and directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck came to Singapore for V day! 

Honestly when they announced the event, I was super excited, but then after hearing that you had to register for the tickets, I thought it’s likely I wouldn’t get them since Marvel fans can be so hardcore. But turns out, on the afternoon of registration day, there were still tickets, and I decided to go for it. Is this considered a spontaneous decision? It kinda sucked that I went alone, but at the same time, it felt good to go out alone for once. Didn’t get to get pics or autographs on the red carpet, but UFFF, breathing the same air as them and getting a great spot to see the event. Gotta say, I really love (AND MISSED) fangirling. And hey, I guess all that standing at work helped built my stamina to stand for hours. Definitely couldn’t feel my legs (or arms) after the event, but surprisingly, it was much better the next day. 

Really hope I’ll get to attend the one for Endgame and Far From Home, at least I’m expecting we’ll get to have similar events for these 2. It’s definitely gonna be wild for Endgame. UFFFFF, I AM SO EXCITED FOR IT. Pretty sure I text my friend about it at least once a week 😅

And speaking of friends, though some people or one can still be an asshat, I’m really glad with how things are working with the rest of them. The few I speak to daily without fail, and others, weekly. Uffff, I really appreciate each and every one of them SO. DAMN. MUCH. 

And surprisingly, I am, well, was, keeping up with my goals and working on my languages. Much inspired by those friends. Managed to keep up a one-month streak there, but then failed eventually because of being busy for CNY. Still very proud of myself though. Hopefully i’ll get back the momentum to it and then be able to attend one of those Duolingo meetup seshs! 

I guess that’s the update for now. Oof, this was real long. So much for procrastinating. Looks like I might still be able to keep up my monthly post goal. FINGERS CROSSED. Anyway, much love to everyone, especially anyone who actually bothered to read through the entire post. 

Xx 

[bandsanitizer]

Youngblood: Every Track

Except for the Target Exclusive tracks because I haven’t heard them yet.

I personally found this album great because instead of connecting through the music with personal experience, it feels more like diving into and empathizing with the emotions 5sos are giving in the songs. Also, please note the following “analysis/review/babble” is purely from my own inference and opinion. It’s not fact, and I don’t claim it to be, so be kind please. I’m not asking to fight or meaning to hate, I’d love to discuss the album, though.

————————————————————

1. Youngblood

Prior to the album, I didn’t care for the song. I mean, it’s good, but I preferred the live version and just wasn’t the biggest fan. After listening to it with the whole album, though, I now see why it’s the title track and better understand Michael saying it really sets up the whole album.

Sonically, the song offers the mix of pop and rock, old and new, that the entire album has. Of course, it’s more pop, just like the album.

Lyrically, it captures a back-and-forth feeling of a relationship and summarizes the feeling of the album. The whole album feels like a relationship, mostly a break-up. What we’re experiencing emotionally and hear in the lyrics, all ties into a relationship and most obviously, can connect to some of the band’s struggles over the past three years.

Specifically, the falling out of relationships, which I presume, is part of why Luke and Ashton have more writing credits than Calum and Michael. Again, that’s speculative. Still, nothing wrong with being influenced by their love life.

Youngblood, is a song that captures all of the good and bad of a relationship, but through the view of post-break-up. It’s about coming back for something that isn’t good for you and hanging onto a love that isn’t all that loving. It truly makes the album whole, and it’s a jam.

The chorus (THE DRUMS) are so amazing.

2. Want You Back

I’m not going to lie, the first two songs released weren’t my favorites at first. They just didn’t feel the best. Still, I’ve come to like Want You Back the more I listened to it.

I think this song really marked a changed in 5sos’ sound and while it didn’t do well on the charts, I think it was a nice way of introducing fans to a new era of 5sos. Both sonically and lyrically, it’s quite modern pop and captures that “stuck” feeling. It’s like being unable to move forward, but incapable of going back.

It’s a great second track to follow Youngblood, because it really expands upon the relationship described in the title track. It takes you to that place inbetween the leaving and coming back, the push and pull, that’s present in the first song. I’m growing to love it more and more.

Also, Luke saying “fucking” is amazing. And the falsettos kill.

3. Lie To Me

Why is it so short? I need more than 2.5 minutes of this song.

Their HARMONIES. Like, we all know that when 5sos sing together the world is a brighter place, but this song is the ultimate. Their vocals are perfection in this and I’m living for the contrast in the beat/bass with the melodic lyrics and guitar. Fucking love this song.

Confirmation Luke has a lying kink? Yeah.

It’s a softer song and kind of just feels like wishing you didn’t have to move on? It’s like watching someone move past something that still hurts you and you can’t quite grasp why. One of my favorite from the live shows and I’m still waiting for the video.

4. Valentine

The opening is just so beautiful. I like the vocals that accompany the bass at the start. It’s has the vibe of like an chill, kind of lowkey club. It’s not big or bold, very intimate.

THE SINGING OVERALL JUST KILLS ME. Michael’s solo? Calum’s solo? It’s like my soul leaves my body every time I hear the song. Ashton’s backing vocals? KILLER.

The message is really sweet. It’s this idea of Valentine’s Day being special, but also the importance of this love extending past the commercialized February 14th. It’s soft and tender. Truly loving. I didn’t know I needed a Valentine’s Day song until now. It’s also got the feel and sound of a song to have sex to. It’s just some lyrics are quite sexual and it has the same feel of a candle-lit bedroom and yknow all that stuff.

It’s a bop.

5. Talk Fast

I have little to no clue what Luke sings in the beginning. Outside of that, this song makes me want to dance. It’s really weird cos it’s not a super dance-y song, but it’s just a song that makes me feel hyped-up.

I don’t really know what it is, but the “woah oh oh” in the chorus is just perfect to me. The whole rhythm that plays through the verses is catchy. This song is really weird to me as it’s the least like my tastes and it just... I really like it but I don’t know why. It’s like I want to drown in the vibe and rhythm of the song.

This is a song about a love set to fail, but still diving head-first into the relationship anyways. It’s not about serious feelings or commitment, it’s more about the current moment and the mood of just living on the fast and hyped feelings.

6. Moving Along

Okay, so like I have an ENTIRE idea for a music video for a song. It’s sort of like how Big Time Rush would have episodes that just lead into the performance of one of their song. This has such a beach-y vibe and I want to see 5sos do a music video for this song in Aloha shirts and shades at a beach or resort. I have SO MANY IDEAS.

I just love how this song feels. It’s like lyrically, the song is sad, but the musical aspect is so so upbeat. It’s something very All Time Low-ish, but not as pop-punk/rock. ONE OF THE BEST ON THE ALBUM. Also, the drum fills are amazing. I love them.

It’s a song that kind of explains those days when you’re bitter? It’s not being full-on angry, but it’s not sad and it’s not happy. It capture the idea of how people deal with loss in different ways and at different rates. Not everyone will move on at the same time, and if you’re someone moving on later, it can suck sometimes.

After a break-up, it’s hard to think how someone could move on from love so fast, so sometimes we hold onto the idea that it could be just as hard for them to move forward. This song feels like that. It’s watching someone wonder about someone’s who’s gone and not really be sure how they feel about this whole “moving forward” thing.

Again, absolutely love this track.

7. If Walls Could Talk

All songs prior to this, we had already heard, so this was like the “NEW MUSIC!!!!” point. I started tearing up solely because it meant officially going into the new era. I love this song so much. It’s another song that I have a music video concept for.

I really like the contrast between the verses and the chorus, with the addition of the acoustic guitar. It’s a real mix of a singer-songwriter pop and the typical feel of something more Halsey? If that makes any sense.

HOLY SHIT. ASHTON’S VOCALS. He sings the falsetto part of the chorus and it’s fucking beautiful. I want to drown in the sound. This song complements his voice so well.

I swear to god 5sos better perform this song live. The lighting concept could be so so cool with this track. If they let this song die, I will personally fight them. I’ve never met them, but this is a track that isn’t the perfect live song, but it would also be soooooo fucking cool to just see them play this song live.

I love the idea of a secret love that kind of love that’s going on. It’s this idea of all these secrets and definitely something sexual. It’s basically about getting naughty, but also could be deeper and about a relationship that isn’t good to begin. It’s kind of like we shouldn’t but do.

It’s such a good song. AND THE BRIDGE and following chorus... HOLY FUCK.

8. Better Man

This song was the complete opposite of what I expected. I was thinking of something more like “You found someone better” not “You make me better”.

It’s clear this is about finding someone who seems to change you for the better. It’s about being at a low but then someone just comes into your life and spins it around. It’s a love song, really. I love the sound, but I would love for an acoustic version, too.

Luke’s vocals. I don’t know what it is but I want to have the chorus played 24/7. His voice just sounds soooooo amazing in the song. He sings “Better” and I just cannot. I WANT TO BOTH CRY AND DANCE WITH AN S.O. WHEN I HEAR THIS SONG.

By far, it’s gotta be one of my favorite Luke songs out there.

9. More

The opening of this song feels like it came from a car commercial. Lol

But wow. I love the sound to this song. THE DRUMS MAKE ME WANT TO DIE. WOW.

And what the fuck is that prechorus? I LOVE when 5sos slows down in the middle of an upbeat song and idk... This song does it so well. MOSTLY I JUST LOVE THE DRUMS AND FALSETTOS.

Calum’s solo is quite nice and tHE GUITAR? FUCK ME UP.

I want to light myself on fire when I hear this song. It’s not really a song I need them to do live, but I can definitely see it making the set.

It emotionally is confusing and a bit disconnected, but it’s kind of what the song is about? It’s that search of what used to be as a relationship seems to fizzle out. It’s like it’s so close but unreachable.

Lyrically, I’m in love with this song. All the lyrics in this song just... I strive for the way it makes you picture something, but it’s not a specific something. It’s like an image of a feeling.

10. Why Won’t You Love Me

This is the first song I actually started crying for. It makes me so fucking sad. It’s like, of all the songs, it’s the one that truly makes you feel what 5sos is feeling, as opposed to necessarily connecting to it in a personal experience?

The opening verse breaks my heart. It captures the idea of touring and flying and just being so far away and how distance prevents a relationship from working out. The second verse is a bit less specific, but captures this idea of being in a love that is reciprocated, but at not really? It’s there but not. It’s about a difficult situation of distance and time and circumstances that don’t feel right and prevent the love from being as good as it could be.

Really, the whole song makes me so emotional. It’s such a sad and painful song of wanting something that you’re so close to having but just can’t? It’s not even an unrequited love as much as it’s getting tired of the feeling of lonely that comes with the distance. It’s not really about not loving, but more about loving so much that every second waiting feels like centuries and its so constant that you just can’t really hold on. It’s from one person who’s constantly traveling and physically distant and it’s kind of hard for them to let go and accept that the person they love can’t keep doing the long-distance thing.

I just feel so emotional with this song.

11. Woke Up In Japan

This song is so swanky. I don’t know that just the word I think of. It’s a sweet kind of song and I like the tone that plays leading into the chorus that’s like that opening sound to SLSP. This song is really lovely and a morning-after kind of story. It’s having had so much before and then finding the bed empty and just being like, “Oh” and you can’t complain because the night was great but it’s still lonely and disorienting when you wake up.

I’m in love with the sound of the song. It’s a head-phones on slow head-bob type of track.

I like the way their voices are, it’s cool how it sounds like morning voices cos it matches the concept of the song.

12. Empty Wallets

The opening is so misleading and it makes me angry because the song gives me Bridgit Mendler vibes? Y’know her older music like “Hurricane” and such? The verses have that kind of vibes and I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. And then the chorus, musically, gives me more of Twenty-One Pilots type of feel. Could just be me... I’m not the best at this association thing.

I just love how there’s three different feels through the whole song.

It’s about a love that doesn’t ask for the material things. It’s more about the feelings and riding the roller coaster of life together. It feels like having happy dates without leaving the house and just finding a relationship that can be a free (in both senses of the word).

I’m not sure what to make of the bridge, but it kind of makes me think of a love that comes and goes but always kind of feels the same.

I’m really into their vocals, specifically the falsettos (the chorus) and Michael’s solo in the bridge. And the music is just really good. A nice vibe to it and I REALLY WANT THEM TO DO THIS SONG LIVE.

13. Ghost of You

There’s only a few songs that are guaranteed to make me cry every time I listen to it. Those songs include Lea Michele singing, “Make You Feel My Love” on Glee, Taylor Swift’s “Ronan”, and Simple Plan’s “Welcome To My Life”. Yeah... They’re all different and mean different things, but they’re so important to me and I hold them very dearly to my heart and they make me so emotional.

Ghost of You is now a song to add to that list.

It’s a mix of the guitar from “For the First Time” by The Script, the general vocal feel of Coldplay music, and a little bit of the melody from like “Firelies” by Owl City.

It’s a lyrical masterpiece. Michael and Ashton said it’s be a fan favorite and it sure as hell feels like it. There’s something so sad and raw and lonely about the lyrics. While it’s a post break-up song, it just generally has that feeling of losing someone but not knowing how to let go.

My favorite part of the song is at the end when Luke sings “That my feet don’t dance like they did with you”. It’s a heartbreaking lyric of realizing that you aren’t the same person you were before they left. It’s searching for happiness alone, when you thought you’d always have someone there.

But what hurts most is that I knew that this song was going to be sad. First off, the title. You can’t have a song named “Ghost of You” and it be anything but sad. Secondly, they wrote it with Mitchy Collins. I have only heard “Broken” from his band, but just that song secures the idea that he can write a sad song. Third, 5sos hyping the song meant it was going to be pretty sad because the songs that do best overall with the fans are the sad songs.

Thus, I expected a sad song, but FUCKING HELL 5SOS. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS.

Everything about the music and the lyrics and they way they sing the song is just so heart-wrenching. It makes me want to curl up and sob because I can feel their pain in their singing and I can relate my own feelings and experience to it.

I swear, 5sos better not let this song die. I dont care if we never hear any other dead song ever, I just so badly want this song to make the set list for the tour. I want this to be a song that 5sos holds onto because it’s so heart-breaking and beautiful.

They know how to write sad song and this is like Amensia-level sad. It’s like we were all talking about Lie To Me but HELL THEY DROP THIS? The song shows how much they’ve matured and grown and just how much they’ve experienced. In the same way Jet Black Heart solidifies the lyrical genius of Michael and Calum, Ghost of You really showcases the skills Luke and Ashton have as songwriters.

This is definitely one of my favorite songs off of the album, if not my favorite.

14. Monster Among Men

Personally, I consider this song to be a sequel to Jet Black Heart. Conceptually, it carries the same idea of being poisoned or broken and afraid of how that hurts the person you love. It’s a sequel, though, because it talks about not calling it off again and just captures the idea of working past those issues to truly be able to say that you’re not going to leave, you’re not going to be the demons that haunt you or the darkness you can feel consumed by. It’s an empowering song

Plus, MICHAEL GORDON CLIFFORD. FUCKING SHIT HE KILLED THIS SONG. His vocals are just so good. He’s grown so much as a singer and the amount of control and emotion he has with his voice always blows my mind. Then the chorus is so cute? I love the keys and the music being upbeat and Calum’s lower vocals in the background. The chorus vocals in general are just top notch. And THE GUITAR SOLO??? MICHAEL G. CLIFFORD IS KILLING THE GAME. (Also loving Luke singing “Asshole” and both of them counting)

I love this song so much, it’s currently tied with Ghost of You.

15. Meet You There

I’m head-over-heels in love with the bass in this song. It’s so beautiful and catchy and I want to dance. This song also feels a lot like fire? Like it’s a perfect song for them to do on tour so it bETTER MAKE THE SETLIST.

I love the music and lyrics. It’s quite summer-y and, as I said, it’s a song I just really want to dance to for some reason. I don’t know who’s vocals I love the most, but the bridge where Michael sings is fucking perfect.

The concept of the song is like the idea of “If you love something let it go, and if it’s meant to be it’ll be.” It’s this idea of being able to spilt and grow as individuals and then possibly come back together. Honestly? It’s basically what the four of them experienced with the hiatus, in growing on their own and coming back together and meeting on common ground with the album.

I very much like this song.

16. Babylon

This is the new Calum song. Don’t get me wrong, I love “Invisible” and will always die when his solo in IYDK plays. But holy shit, this takes the cake. It basically fulfills the need for Calum to do Bad Dreams.

Calum Thomas Hood is so talented, and this song perfectly shows that. His voice and the bass in this song is killer. The lyrics are phenomenal and the concept is so beautiful. It’s a very very smart song, as Babylon was a city that was HUGE. It grew and expanded, until after wars and conquests, eventually was taken under different control and collapsed. Additionally, one of the possible reasons for the absence of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon include war and erosion. Easily, the idea of Babylon is something growing big and eventually falling apart. This is carried with the concept of the song. It’s about a love that grows and builds and goes so hard but then burns itself out. I love the whole idea. I just love this song so much with all that it means, how it sounds and the feel it gives.

I think it was a great choice of song to close the album with because unlike the rest of the album, it’s very final. There’s no sense of longing or wanting the past back. It’s not about second chances or going back-and-forth. It’s just a tragedy. There’s a beginning middle and end, and the end isn’t happy, but it’s a clear and set closure. It completes the album very well and is one of my favorite 5sos songs. It’s reminiscent of the band’s older sound, but also capture their ventures and changes well.

————————————————————

Overall, this album is relationship-centric. I know it doesn’t tackle huge issues like SGFG did, but this album is clearly for 5sos more than it’s for the fans. It’s not as much about songs with messages for the fans to find safety in, but rather songs that allow 5sos to express everything they’ve been dealing with for a while. And I truly find it to be beautiful.

The album is a great step forward and truly gives them a lot of room for whatever sound they want. Additionally, it captures how talented they are as artists, in singing, writing, and playing. It’s a masterpiece and I am so proud of them. While do have favorites, it’s the only album I can 100% say I love every song on. It’s an album I want to play and listen to 24/7. The whole thing is just so cohesive and I love with all my heart. I am just so so so so proud of 5 Seconds of Summer.

No matter where this new chapter takes the band, I hope it does them well and gets them the respect they deserve. I truly see this as their best album yet and I can’t wait for what’s to come. I’m so proud and it makes me happy that they are, too. It’s an album worth listening to and deserves so much recognition because it’s truly inventive in it’s mix of genres and sounds, creating something that feels so familiar, but also unique, fresh, and new. 5sos created something beautiful and I’m just so happy that they shared it with us.

[vintagemichelle91]

Be The One- Rafael Barba x Miss Fashionista

Author’s note: Happy Valentines Day (or rather early since I decided to post this the night before)!! Trying my best to show Rafael Barba all the love in the world, especially after last week. Anyway, moving on to much happier things! Let us check back in with Barba and Miss Fashionista on their amazing trip to Switzerland! Thank you all for the support! I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoy this!!! @rauliskafan thank you so much for helping shape this up into something wonderful! 

Song Inspiration: Be the One -Dua Lipa

I see in blue

I see in blue

I see in blue

Oh, and you see everything in red

And there’s nothing that I wanna do for you

Do for you

Do for you

Oh, ‘cause you got inside my head

 “Can we stay longer, please?” You batted your long fluttery lashes at Rafael, and he could not help but smirk at just how you easily won him over.

Nevertheless, he took advantage of the opportunity to tease you. “What about work?”

If it weren’t for the slight amusement in his tone you would have thought that your dashing man was serious. “Oh, I am sure both of our jobs can survive without us another week or so.”

You winked at him through the mirror, and his smile grew. The way your eyes lit up when you were trying to sway him into your ways was irresistible. Persuasion was something that you mastered thanks to him. From time to time, you pulled it out of your designer sleeve and enchanted him even more.

“Then I guess I’m glad I booked this suite for just a few more nights,” he replied nonchalantly as he came up to stand behind you. His arms enveloped your waist as he held you close to him.

“Mr. Barba, you sure know how to win a girl’s heart.”

His emerald eyes sparkled as he whispered, “Only the best one. And she is standing right before me.”

A pink flush tinted across your cheeks, and Rafael kissed your exposed nape. Your crimson off the shoulder Saint Laurent dress felt soft to the touch as his massive hands roamed around, exploring every inch of your curves. Your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned into him and lost yourself in his scent.

“Mmm… keep this up and you’re going to make us late, Mr. Barba.”

“Fashionably late can be a valid excuse.” His lips gently nipped away at your soft skin, and your hands fell on top of his as you guided them across your body. “Or…”

You sighed at the prospect of spending the rest of the evening in bed. “Not going at all, and we just order room service and stay here all night.” Your voice was breathy and hopeful as his hands pushed the fabric of your dress up your creamy thighs.

“As tempting as that sounds, I don’t want to miss these reservations and the chance to show you off in this dress.” Rafael gave you one tantalizing kiss before he pulled your dress down and left you to finish getting ready.

“You’re such a tease, Rafael!”

He chuckled and paused by the door for a minute, taking in the sight of you once more. “And you, Miss Fashionista, are my dream come true.”

Oh, baby come on, let me get to know you

 Just another chance so that I can show

 That I won’t let you down,

  Oh no

  No, I won’t let you down, oh no

 ‘cause I could be the one

I could be the one

 Switzerland had been an absolute dream. Frankly, the entire two weeks off had been a dream from which you did not want to wake up. Everything from the skiing adventures to the quiet relaxing moments at the spa was exactly what you had envisioned for the perfect vacation. You had, for the most part ceased doing anything work-related save for a few emails and phone calls. It was as if the stress just evaporated into thin air, and you hoped to not let it back in for a while. All your attention had remained on Rafael and vice versa. What you enjoyed most about this trip was just how at ease the man looked. He smiled more, seemed to be up to trying new things without any reluctance and was finally getting the rest he so desperately needed. It was the change of snowy scenery and the fact that the two of you were devoting time to each other. The thought of leaving this whimsical and romantic place made you want to cry.

           Gently, you dabbed the corner of your eyes as Rafael told the waiter to bring a bottle of Veuve-Clicqout champagne. The last thing you wanted was to ruin your make-up or for Rafael to see you cry.

           “You alright?” Damn, he probably spotted you out of the corner of his eye. Despite his absorption in his career, he always noticed everything about you.

           A small smile managed to form across your red lips, and you slowly nodded your head, “Yeah. Something must have gotten into my eye.” Brushing off your emotions just made the corner of your eyes prick again, and you had to suck in a short for fear you would let another tear fall.

The atmosphere of the restaurant was a quiet buzz with the sounds of smooth jazz music floating through the room. Rafael reached for your hand across the table, “Are you sure? If something isn’t to your liking, you know you can tell me.”

“It’s not that, Rafael. Everything is…” You took the moment to look around the classy, sleek restaurant, and your sparkling eyes darted toward the massive windows that overlooked the shores of Lake Geneva. “It is all so beautiful. And I’m dreading going back.”

Rafael’s green eyes softened, and he gripped your hand tighter. “I know. Believe me, I even started looking into the laws to see if I could transfer…”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Wouldn’t that be something? And I can certainly see about a transfer here from the magazine.” You dipped your spoon into your dessert of white mille fueille, which was Tahitian vanilla cream with jasmine jelly, and offered some to Rafael.

“I am really starting to consider this,” Rafael replied as he gladly tried your treat.

“Me too. But for now, let’s just enjoy the last bit of our trip.” Your reply was a bit more serious because it wasn’t so much the place but the man sitting right in front of you. Rafael made everything magical, and as long as you had him by your side, that was all you really needed.

“Agreed and that deserves a toast.” Right on cue, the waiter showed up with the bottle of champagne and two crystal glasses. Rafael seemed slightly nervous. You hadn’t noticed until now. His expressive hands seemed to fiddle slightly and he ran a hand through his dark hair.

“We deserve the toast and most definitely you,” you gently corrected as you held the glass and waited as Rafael dug into his breast pocket. “Rafael…”

Before you could say anything else, Rafael pulled out a small black velvet box and set it before you. Your dessert and the drink were now long forgotten as your eyes glanced down at the little box. Suddenly, the butterflies in your lower tummy fluttered wildly.

“I think you deserve the toast because you have brought so much color into my black and white life,” he started. “I’ve never felt more alive and being with you… I feel like I’m soaring. Like I’m free…most of all free. And I would very much like it if you would share all of that and more with me… forever.” Rafael opened the box revealing a pink and white diamond ring that left you breathless.

The tears spilled down your cheeks, and at this point, you could care less about your make-up.

You glanced up at him, seeing truth and love in his gorgeous green orbs. Oh, how those eyes made your heart melt instantly. Memories flashed before your eyes… when you first met him in that line at the coffee shop and you had no idea that was the man you had been talking to for several weeks. The first official meeting at that swanky Manhattan bar. The next day’s coffee date, and everything ever since suddenly spiraled into a beautiful melody that you would cherish.

Forever.

 I could be the one

Be the one, be the one

Be the one, be the one

Will you be mine?

 “Will… will you do me the honor of giving me your hand in marriage?”

Reality returned to full force and pulled you back to this precise moment where the world stopped spinning. The words struggled to form on your lips, but you furiously nodded as the tears continued to spill down your cheeks. The small crowd in the restaurant erupted into an applause as Rafael slipped the sparkling ring onto your finger.

“Yes, yes! A million times yes!” you finally said as he stood up and embraced you tightly. His kiss upon your lips was perfect, and he was also crying a bit along with you. Happy tears for you both as you simply held each other and kissed once more, never wanting the moment to end…

…but also delighting in the idea of all the moments yet to come.

Tagging: @yourtropegirl @dreila03 @rauliskafan @dreila03 @skittle479 @delia26 @minidodds @fortheloveofallthingsraul  

A/N: To anyone else that wishes to be tagged for future stories please let me know!

[furinjuru]

Going Home

A Valentine’s Day fic in March? It’s more likely than you think.

I almost forgot to post this, but it’s here. Sequel to my Secret Admirer fic, but you definitely don’t have to read that one before. Shoutout to @animeender and @polarishyn for helping me proofread this.

Pairings: Mainly YouHane, minor RubyMaru, mentioned ChikaRiko

Yoshiko watches as her two best friends, Hanamaru and Ruby, return to class with their arms linked. They separate only for Ruby to take a box of chocolates from her bag and give it to Hanamaru, who accepts the gift gratefully. Looks like it’s official now; those two are finally dating. It’s a bit surprising, to be honest. Not the fact that they’re with each other, because anyone can see that those two are a perfect match. It’s just that Yoshiko didn’t expect them to be able to confess to each other. She’s happy for them, though.

“I see my two faithful little demons have returned.” She says, smirking at them. “Your darkened hearts have begun to resonate with each other. With the blessings of the Fallen Angel Yohane, you have chosen to further train your bond. I congratulate you for such a feat.”

Ruby tilts her head, confused, but Hanamaru instead smiles. “Thanks, zura. Good luck for you, too.” She pauses, then continues in a teasing tone. “Would Yohane like a divine blessing for good luck?”

Yoshiko scoffs loudly. “Yohane has no need for such things. She can give herself a blessing, but I will require no such things to pursue my goal.”

“Oh, that’s too bad, zura.” Hanamaru shrugs, pretending to look a little disappointed. “Even though I brought a few love charms with me today. Looks like you won’t need any....”

“Wait, are you serious?” Yoshiko asks. “I-I changed my mind! I want them, give it to me.”

“Nope, sorry. I don’t actually have them.” Hanamaru giggles as Yoshiko frowns. “You’ll be fine!”

“Hmph, whatever. Yohane has no need for such blessings.”

“But you just-”

“Silence!” Yoshiko exclaims, much Hanamaru’s amusement. “I have no need for that. No mortal, not even the great Watanabe You is immune to Yohane’s charms. And lastly, I have this!” She pulls out the box of chocolate from her bag, holding it in the air like some kind of prize. “This item, filled with Yohane’s blood, sweat, and tears-”

“That’s really gross, zura.” Yoshiko glares at her, finally getting her to quiet down.

“...filled with Yohane’s dark magic, even more powerful than a concentrated potion of love, will be all I need to recruit her as Yohane’s Number One Little Demon!”

“That’s all well and good, zura, but you should clean it up before you give it to her. It’s kinda dirty.”

“Huh?” Yoshiko blinks at the shorter girl. “Dirty? What do you mean dirty?” She had immediately put the box into her bag last morning and never took it out, so there’s no way there’s any dirt on it.

Hanamaru points at something brown leaking out of the box, dripping onto the floor. Yoshiko tentatively gathers some on her finger before putting it in her mouth, her eyes going wide when she realizes what it is. “Oh shit.”

“Huh? What is it?” Ruby asks, panicking; if Yoshiko cursed, that must mean it’s something really, really bad, right? Yoshiko ignores her, frantically undoing the ribbon she had tied around the box while praying to Satan as well as every god she knows of (just to be safe). As she opens the lid, her worst fears come to life.

“They melted.” She mumbles out.

“....”

The chocolates she made for You melted.

Somehow, despite it being Winter right now, they melted.

“Oh.” Hanamaru says as she looks into the box. “That’s a whole new level of bad luck, zura.”

“....”

“See? The gods got angry at you for rejecting their blessing, and this is your punishment.” She glances at Yoshiko, who has tears running down her eyes. “H-hold on, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry Yoshiko-chan! It’s just a joke, zura!”

“W-what I do?” She asks, her voice cracking as she stares at her ruined gift. “I can’t give this to her now!”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” Ruby says, although even she’s starting to sound frantic. “It’ll be okay. Just think of something to say and she’ll definitely forgive you. Just remember that we’re supporting you.”

Yoshiko sighs. “Thanks....” As she puts the box back in her bag, she’s able to see that the melted chocolate had gotten everywhere. Some are starting to soak into the pages of her textbooks.

Fuck. Her. Life. 

The final bell rings and Yoshiko only gives her friends a brief wave before running out of class. She keeps running, eventually arriving at the designated meeting spot. She had asked You earlier to meet up with her here after school is over, before she knew everything would become a mess. But things would only get worse if she suddenly canceled, so she decides to get it over with quickly.

“Yoshiko-chan!” There she is. Yoshiko takes a deep breath before turning around as You runs towards her. She seems cheerful, but stops when she sees Yoshiko, her mood dropping as fast as it has risen. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am,” She says, then adds. “It’s Yohane!” There. That’s much better. You smiles again, moving until she’s standing beside her, only a few centimeters apart.

“So, how was your mission?” She asks curiously.

“It was a success, of course. Although I didn’t really do much. We were having a conversation and Hanamaru started thanking me, then she went off and when she came back with Ruby, they were already dating.” She shrugs. “What about you?”

“Well...both of them were super scared of confessing, but I think everything’s going to work out.” She laughs. “They’re both kinda dense in their own ways, but they really love each other a lot.”

“I see....” Yoshiko hums. “Must be nice.”

“Yeah.” The two stand in awkward silence until the bus comes and they sit down. Then, You continues. “So how are you?”

“Okay, I guess,” Yoshiko mutters, opening her bag to make sure all of her stuff is in there. “You?”

“Same as you.” Away from Yoshiko’s line of sight, You opens her own bag, rummaging around for something. “Doesn’t it bother you? You’re trying to get Hanamaru and Ruby together, even giving them advice, but you’re not dating yourself?”

“Nope. It’s the same as you with Chika and Riko.”

“Not really,” You says, causing Yoshiko to direct her attention towards her. “It bothers me. Not a lot, but enough. I thought about what it’d be like to have a girlfriend, and I thought it’d be nice.”

“I see,” Yoshiko says, trying desperately to ignore the painful lump in her throat. “I never thought about it,” she lies. “But I guess it would be nice.”

“Yeah, I agree. Which is why...” She pulls out her gift from her bag, causing Yoshiko’s heart to beat loudly. “Yoshiko-chan, this honmei chocolate is for you.”

Yoshiko opens her mouth, but no sound comes out. Her throat feels dry, and it’s almost like a dream. She checks You’s expression to see if she’s joking, but nothing that would indicate such is visible. Her eyes are closed, her head lowered, and her cheeks tinged red. If Yoshiko was to be optimistic, she would describe her as looking like a maiden in love.

Slowly, she takes the chocolates from You, but doesn’t open it yet. This is honmei chocolate, something she thought she’d never receive in her life. But here she is, receiving a genuine confession from You, one of the most popular girls in school.

“T-thank you.” She says, taking out her own chocolates. More of it has spilled out onto her bag, and as she takes it some drip onto her clothes, but she offers it to You nonetheless. “I made this for you, but it kinda....” You slowly takes the box, being careful not to touch any of the melted chocolate.

“What happened?”

“Well...it’s truly unfortunate,” Yoshiko says, reverting to Yohane. “The gods have realized that I’m too powerful. They realized that the only way they can defeat me is by defying the laws of logic they themselves had created long ago. As such, my offering to you has reverted to their original state, as if they had been placed in the fiery pits of Hell.”

“They melted,” You says, a nod from Yoshiko confirming her suspicion. “...that sucks. You put a lot of effort into it.” She then smiles. “Can I ask you a question?”

“O-of course. What would you like to inquire?”

“These chocolates. What kind are they?”

“Black chocolate. Yohane does not like chocolate mixed wi-”

“That’s not what I meant, silly.” You chuckles. “I meant are they honmei?”

Oh. Yoshiko’s cheeks begin to burn, but she pushes through the embarrassment, and stares directly into the other girl’s eyes. “Yes.” You’s eyes light up with joy.

“So that means we gave each other honmei, right? So I was wondering.” She leans closer, whispering into Yoshiko’s ear. “Do you...want to go out with me?”

“Yes!” Yoshiko exclaims, her voice attracting the gaze of other passengers. You laughs at her misfortune, only talking again once no one is staring at them.

“I’m glad. I was honestly worried, but now I’m happy that you feel the same way.”

“You were nervous? Pretty much everyone in class was talking about the chocolates they’re going to give you. I think I got a few heart attacks throughout the day.” You laughs again at the joke.

“So, are we dating now?” You asks.

“In case my earlier answer wasn’t loud enough, then yes. If you’re willing to.”

“Don’t get cheeky with me.” You grins, poking at Yoshiko’s cheeks. “I know that you’re happy. Trust me, I am too. There’s no way today can get any better.”

“I mean, I am happy, but....” She regretfully stares at her gift. You follows her gaze, realizing what seems to be bothering her.

“Why don’t you come over to my house?” Yoshiko blinks; did she hear that right? “You got time, right?”

“I do, but why?”

“We can make chocolates together!” You says cheerfully. “I got all the stuff we need back home. Let’s make some together, just the two of us.” Yoshiko blushes at the thought.

“J-just us? Your parents aren’t home?” Yoshiko’s embarrassment rises when You’s smile turns even wider.

“Now why would you ask that? Get your mind out of the gutter, Yoshiko-chan. Don’t tell me you’re thinking abou-”

“Stop, stop!” She doesn’t want to think about that. “But...I won’t be a bother.”

“We’re dating now.” You tries to make it sound casual, but it still embarrasses her to think of Yoshiko as her girlfriend, rather than just a friend. “Of course not.”

“Really?” You nods. “I have really bad luck.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“What if bad luck keeps affecting me and we keep ruining our chocolates?”

“That’s fine. That means we get to hang out for longer. You can even stay over tonight.” Yoshiko nods, trying to keep her emotions under control as excitement and anticipation starts to bubble inside her. You opens the box and dips her finger in some of the chocolate, then puts it in her mouth. “This is really good. I think you have a talent for making chocolate.”

“Really?” Yoshiko asks. “Can I have some? I haven’t tried it.” 

You’s eyes glint with mischief, as if she had been waiting for Yoshiko to ask that. Without warning, she tugs on Yoshiko’s ribbon, pulling her into a kiss. She briefly tastes the chocolate from You’s lips before the other girl pulls away, grinning.

“That’s enough for now. Don’t wanna ruin the main course, after all.” You winks, and if Yoshiko’s face could get any redder, it would. As it stands, all she can do is stutter out incomprehensible words.

She leans back against the comfortable cushioning of the seat, thinking to herself. I don’t know if You is an angel or a devil. She looks at the girl, who catches Yoshiko staring at her and smiles back. She does know one thing.

For the first time in her life, Yoshiko is a lucky girl.