#had this half written all year
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how do lighting and shading work
#ok so remember that tag on my last post where i said i didnt feel like drawing drones#i lied the motivation to do it manifested out of literally nowhere#i saw the quote written down and knew i had to do something with j and tessa#just colored and whatchamacallit'd the first panel cause i felt like it#ive been trying to figure out how lighting and all that works#cause ive been focusing on like. exclusively lineart for the past 2 years#my skills at the other parts of art are kinda lagging behind#second panel was drawn in like 5 minutes cause i wanted to use the second half of the quote#dont think too hard about the implications of the scenario just roll with it#im slightly improving at drawing j#stupid haircut is so difficult to stylize for No Reason but i think i got a handle on it#for now#the first panel is looking off the more i look at it so im going to stop doing that and wrap this up#art#murder drones#murder drones j#serial designation j#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#crowzi#im including that one#flesha technically#cynessa#whatever you wanna call her#tesscyn#shes got too many names
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GIW made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was going against Young Justice part 2
part one is here
@whimsicalchaosgarden you asked to be tagged, sorry it took so long
Trigger warnings: mentions of experimentation and dehumanization (tell me if there is more appropriate way of phrasing it)
“So,” Robin started, taking the voice recorder out of his utility belt. “It'll probably be best if we get an explanation while making an accident report. This way we get it all over sooner”
Everyone agreed with this idea, standing in the loose circle in the debriefing area to make it all feel more serious. They had limited time before the next batch of cookies needed to be taken out of the oven and there was no way they all wouldn't devolve into chaos when it happened. M’gann knew from experience.
To make sure they wouldn't take too long and cookies wouldn't turn on the fire alarm (again) both she and Danny set a timer.
In the meantime they had to learn who actually attacked them earlier.
“Phantom do the honors”
Danny froze for a moment, looking like deer caught in the headlight before he asked in a bit squeaky voice:
“How do I make an accident report?”
“Just say what happened but make it sound fancy,” Artemis explained.
“Make a mission report and we'll fix it along the way,” Kaldur proposed.
“Answer ‘When? Where? Who was involved? What happened? What have you done about it?’ without excessive use of puns to avoid Bat-lecture” Robin helped, already in handstand.
“Bat-lecture? Really Rob?”
“So it's like lab report lite” Danny said before Robin did anything more than squawk indignantly “Alright, I can do it. Do you have any set phrase to start? And which accident report is it, in the database?"
“44th… How about ‘[Hero name], report’? Sounds serious enough.”
Everyone agreed, so after a moment of silence Kaldur did the honors.
“Phantom, report”
Danny straightened, rolling his shoulders back and locked his eyes in the middle distance. It was a bit eerie how fast he went from relaxed and goofy to almost emotionless statue. M’gann wished to never encounter it again, thank you very much.
“Incident report no. 45 made by Young Justice member Phantom, regarding an attack from earlier today, 26th April 20XX. The Young Justice Team, later referred to as the Team, went on a trip to an amusement park staying currently in the city of Happy Harbour. It was an activity meant to strengthen interpersonal relationships within the Team, previously green-lit by Red Tornado. Every member was in civilian attire as per protocol. Around 3:15 PM, after two and a half hours, the Team were disturbed by a group of ten armed people, recognized by member Phantom as belonging to Ghost Investigation Ward, colloquially known as GIW or Guys In White because of their uniforms. Later in the report the organization will be referred to as the GIW. Two shots were fired by the assailants, targeting but not reaching member Phantom. Members of the GIW were hostile but with use of humor and threat of legal actions, the Team managed to diffuse the situation before it endangered passerbys. Despite direct attack, none of the Team members’ identities were compromised. Assailants left the confrontation with belief that Phantom left his ectoplasmic signature on an unrelated civilian. Agents refused to admit they were working for the GIW since its operations break a couple of laws of the state Rhode Island. Because of that, their appearance was reported to local law enforcement and taken care of. No injuries or damage to the city infrastructure were sustained other than two burns in the asphalt in the place of confrontation. Required follow-up with local law enforcement in civilian attire as victims of assault. End of report” Danny sighed, easing back into a more natural position. “This good?” he asked, with a sheepish smile.
“Perfect”
“How are you so good at reporting? You didn’t even know what to do a second ago? That’s just unfair”
“I used to write my parent’s lab reports. It’s pretty similar in form”
“Lab-”
“Follow-up to the report only, Kid-Flash,” Robin interrupted “Phantom. elaborate on who were the assailants”
Danny stepped back from himself again.
“GIW is a ghost hunting organization supported and accredited by the state government in Illinois, legally operating also in states Wisconsin and Ohio. Their goal is to catch and examine ecto-entities to learn more about their biology and ways to obliterate them. Obviously their plans for experimentation don’t include consideration of ghosts’ well-being”
“Damn, that’s messed up”
“They wouldn't catch a blob ghost if they tried,” Danny shrugged, though something was wrong with the gesture. She wasn't sure though, so she moved on.
“Then why were you scared?” M’gann pressed on instead.
“My parents… are, you know, prominent ghost hunters so when GIW opened we all got a tour around the whole building. The lab was… it made me imagine things I wished I had never thought about”
“They have labs? Like evil labs?” Robin perked up like a kid who just heard that Christmas came early. “How could you hide it from us?!” he added, falling to hang on Danny's shoulder. He twirled a bit to catch the left one even though before he stood on halfa’s right side. Dramatic as always “Conner, we have a birthday gift for you!”
“What does GIW’s lab have to do with my birthday?”
“The potential!” Robin yelled, straightening for a better effect.
Everyone started laughing. Well, everyone other than Conner who just looked at them confused.
“He probably wants to storm another lab, bring up nostalgia of our first meeting,” Kaldur calmed down just enough to explain.
“Tell me you wouldn't like to punch an evil scientist,” Wally added, almost dropping to the floor.
“This does sound nice”
“And THIS is exactly the reason why I haven't told you all. Thanks for spoiling my surprise Rob,” Danny lied, though he did his best to sound truthful. He even projected some false mirth.
It would take much more to trick M’gann though. She abruptly stopped laughing.
“You're lying. Why actually haven't you told us?” she demanded maybe a little too harshly, but she was worried. Everyone froze for a moment, before turning to look at Danny.
“They're all bark no bite, and aim worse than Stormtroopers’, so I haven't considered them important enough to report”
Other's didn’t know, of course, but M’gann knew just how terrified Danny was during the confrontation and how echoes of that fear soured air around him even hours later.
Everyone did realize this explanation was a tone of bullshit though.
Apparently incredulous stares were enough of the response.
“You and the Justice League have more important things to deal with than some shitty local laws”
“Bullshit again,” Artemis burst her lips “This is exactly what Justice League is for”
“I already found people to help me lobby against them”
“And why aren't we on the list?”
Danny fell silent, not looking anyone in the eyes, which was quite a feat considering they had him in a half circle. M’gann considered moving to his side to show her support. Stare down like that had to be quite stressful.
Why not actually. She stepped closer, and drew him in the loose side hug. Danny tensed, which wasn't abnormal for him. He usually relaxed in about thirty seconds, if he didn't, she'd let go.
“I didn't expect them to breach the containment…”
“Each of these lies is worse, you know? Like, insulting our intelligence level of worse,” Artemis interrupted once more, pinning him with her eyes alone “Give us truth or stop talking”
Danny raised his head to look back at Artemis and mimed zipping his mouth shut and throwing the key away.
“Really?”
Boy just shrugged, not breaking eye contact.
“Alright, let's move on to the next question, how did it get approved in the first place?” Wally interrupted, waving his hand between them. They both shook off like dogs fresh out of water.
“Couldn't you wait five more seconds until I won?”
“Ha! You wish Artemis. Though you could give us a moment”
“I gave you literal ages”
Danny snorted “Sorry, I keep forgetting how impatient you are”
“Oh shut up, my brain is just faster than yours, you slowpokes”
“Sure, sure”
“He made a good point,” Kaldur said “This shouldn’t even pass. And even if, you’re legally a Meta”
“Normal ghosts aren’t and halfas being a thing is not exactly common knowledge among the living”
“I’ll never get used to this distinction”
“I believe in you, Rob”
“What about ‘Extraterrestrial, extradimensional and otherwise previously unincluded’ Optional Protocol to the ‘International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights’?”
“Oh my god Conner, you’re the only person to say the whole name ever”
“Hey!”
“It all comes down to the definition of the ghost and the fact that Alien addition uses sentience and sapience as a ground to give anyone said rights. And also, US signed it but didn’t ratify it so…”
“Isn’t it same thing?”
“Nope. I thought so too, but apparently signing anything means nothing unless it’s also ratified, so I’m kinda fucked. Can’t even get the UN to frown at them disapprovingly, because officially, nothing was agreed to. And you know, even if they ratified it, ecto-scientists conducted enough research to prove we aren’t sapient enough to have these rights anyway. Just most of the states didn’t need to make a law out of it”
“That’s rough buddy”
“Are you really quoting Avatar at me right now? Really Artemis?”
“Yes”
“Wasn’t Avatar this movie with blue people? I don’t think they said that there”
M’gann wasn’t quite sure why human members seemed to be appalled by the question.
“We’re going to fix that later-”
“What exactly is there to be fixed, because I feel like we’re talking about to different things”
“- but for now can we go back to the whole ‘ghosts have no rights in Illinois’ thing” Robin continued, completely ignoring Conner’s questions.
“Illinois, Wisconsin and Ohio. There are portals to the Zone in two of these states. GIW already tried to send nuke through one of them”
“How Americana of them,” Kaldur muttered.
“If you have another insane tidbit about them, please share it all now. My mind can’t utilize any more revelations like that”
“I handled it, don’t worry”
“Someone tried to nuke literal Afterlife…”
“Yup, get on the schedule Kid Flash. You’re supposed to be fast”
M’gann knocked her arm into his, kinda as a ‘don’t be mean’ message. Danny kinda tensed, but soon relaxed back and moved his head as if he wanted to lay it on her shoulder. Excitement of the day was clearly catching up to him.
M’gann wouldn’t be mad if he did laid his head there.
“Why do we learn about it just now?”
“I wrote the report, not my fault you haven’t read it”
“Can’t fault us for assuming we’d know every important thing from your endless bitching!”
Danny straightened and laughed, in this horrible humorless way that made M’gann want to claw at her brain until she couldn’t hear or sense any of it.
Instead, she brought her other hand up and just held him tighter.
Thankfully the whole spectacle didn’t last long.
“It’s cute that you think I bitch about anything important”
“Phantom…”
“Don’t Phantom me right now. Even if by some miracle they managed to send the missile to the Zone, it most likely wouldn’t have worked. They’re mostly just a joke.”
“They managed to shot you. Right upper arm or shoulder”
“Don’t deny it, we’ve seen you wince when I leaned on you and when M’gann hugged you”
Martian tried to let go hearing that, but Danny held her in place. She stayed where she was but carefully moved her hand away from the slightly damp area on his shirt. She suddenly caught on everything that was wrong with him, now that she knew to look for it.
“I got worse from the hand of my house’s security system”
“You… understand that it’s… like… way worse, right?”
“You don’t know life until you hear threats of dissection against your alter ego after stopping death ray with bowl of cereal,” he said, relaxing more into her side again. He sounded absolutely exhausted.
“Do you want to move in here? Until we deal with this whole GIW and assorted mess?” she said instead. Conner nodded, surprisingly eager to share the space that he considered somewhat sacred.
“Nope, I’m good, I’m needed there”
“You could Zeta- yeah, no, nevermind, it wasn’t good idea. But we could make it work”
“You still should-”
“It’s fine. I mean, I have it handled and it doesn’t affect that many people. And we’re working on it. It’s fine”
“It really is not,” Conner growled.
“You need your arm patched up” M’gann demanded, ignoring previous conversation, with eyes still fixed on the blood that stained her forearm. She should’ve destroyed at least Operative K.
“I bandaged it up”
“It soaked through then. Let’s go to med–”
Loud shrill interrupted her, because of course it did.
“Oh, look, convenient distraction! Let’s take the cookies out before they get burned!”
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” M’gann stated in a way that allowed no argument “You’re getting away for now only because I’m holding most of your weight right now”
“Sure we will. And I can stand on my own, thank you very much”
“I’ve heard many lies today and this might be the worst of them. We’re going to Medbay as soon as the cookies are out”
“You’ve got it boss”
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#it's been a while huh?#ALMOST HALF A YEAR?!#the funniest thing is I had this part written when I posted the first one I just wante one more as a back up#and then I rewrote this like three times insteas because I felt like it was getting too serious too fast#i wanted to keep the 'crack treated almost seriously' vibes for a little longer but they just didn't want to be kept#part after that is in theory written but now too has to be heavily rewritten#anyway on more plot related topics#as you can see#I made up an international document#during my studies I brushed against an international law mostly focused on human rights so while I wouldn't call it an expretise I know smt#I believe UN in DC universe would make a document that includes all non-human people runing around and the easiest way I found was#to make an Optional Protocol to the “International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights” that Conner mentioned#this is first of two convenants and it's basicly “people deserve to not be killed or tortured and believe what they want” document#the second one is “International Convenant on Economic Social and Cultural right”; basically “people deserve fair pay healthcare and school#I think the optional protocol would be#non-human being who [insert criteria that would be wide enough but also exculde Krypto for example]#also have these rights#I can try explaining it more in depth if someone asks#i know there is a difference between ratifying and signing an international treaty#but i barely understand how it works in Polish law so im not trying to figure out US one#its whole other law system (Poland uses continental law while US uses common law I can explain the difference if someone asks)#anyway#(almost) New Years fic special#part two of five#wandixx writes#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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Reunion
"Rook, is that really you?" "It's me."
This render has been sitting basically finished, just un-rendered and un-edited in my folders for WEEKS now, which is a crime, because it's fucking adorable.
Rook finally got to see his former captain and mentor, Zara, again for the first time in 3 years, and it was a very bittersweet reunion. She ended up revealing that she was aware of every single things that Wolf was doing to him during his time on the Sea Snake, but was unable to do anything about it because if she or anyone under her employ were to attempt to rescue him, Wolf would have killed him. As it turns out, she gave up sailing in order to protect him, lest Wolf take any movement of hers as a threat.
Here's my write-up of the first part of the scene:
And of course the reunion was then interrupted by the arrival of a giant snake which proceeded to eat Jay, the former surgeon's apprentice on Zara's ship and Rook's only friend prior to meeting the party. When he showed up Zara had been about to explain something very important to Rook (why Wolf hates her so much, and why she went after Rook), and after weeks of delays and fighting the giant snake, Rook (and I) finally get to find out the truth on Saturday.
Zara's been hinting that it's something Not Good and that she's worried about his reaction, but luckily for her, Rook would forgive her literally anything. And I do mean anything. She was the first person in his life who was ever truly kind to him, and she means more to him than any other person in his life. And this is the same man who tried to tell the BBEG of the entire campaign that he "wasn't that person anymore", after only knowing him for a matter of months. (In his defense he didn't know he was the BBEG.) In comparison, he'd been sailing with Zara for 6 years before he was captured.
Oh, and she's also going to give him her old ship, the Tide Breaker, and name him captain, which is going to be a bit of a mindfuck for him, given his intense guilt over Jay and like 18 other bad things that have happened to the party recently. Augh, I can't wait.
#ts4#ts4 edit#the sims 4#sims 4 edit#my edits#ts4 render#sims 4 render#my renders#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#dnd renders#ts4 fantasy#sims 4 fantasy#fun fact: Rook completely froze up when she hugged him because he's barely had any positive physical contact in the past 3 years.#Not so fun fact: He was also focusing all of his energy into now showing her that her hug was hurting hm because the keelhauling wounds on#his back are still healing and he has a horrible habit of hiding his injuries from her. In this case he doesn't want to make her feel even#worse with her guilt about him getting captured. She knows he was captured a second time and tortured but she doesn't know about the#keelhauling or the fact that he arrived in Xen half-dead. (Jay probably would have told her but Jay was dead and is now a bird so...)#But I'm pretty sure she's going to find out this session and it's going to break my heart.#Goddddd these two make me sick. /pos I love them so fucking much. I could talk about them for HOURS.#I've written some little tidbits from when Rook was sailing with Zara and the way she treated him... Augh.#No wonder he would do anything for her. She was the first person to ever show him genuine kindness.#Sailing with her was the first time he was ever truly happy and he could never ever repay her enough for that.
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snippets! more snippets! snippets for days!
“So, first major event was Halloween. Somehow, a troll got loose in the school, intent on causing mischief and mayhem.
“A troll?” Sirius paled. “Please tell me that’s a—a euphemism for something.”
“Siri, ew, oh my god,” Harry gagged, turning his face away from his unrepentant godfather and his ‘it’s still better than an honest-to-Merlin troll, Harry James’
“Suddenly, I’m very glad that there troll was not a—was just a troll. It was during the Halloween feast—“
“I do wonder about that day, you know. It feels so cursed.”
“You have no idea,” Harry muttered bitterly before continuing. “Anyway, so, it was the middle of the feast, Quirrell comes to warn us about the mountain troll in the dungeons before doing a dramatic faint right there, in front of everyone, and Dumbledore sends us all off to our dormitories.”
There’s a beat of silence before—
“The dormitories?”
Harry looked up to see Sirius staring at him, aghast. A small smile tilted his lips on one end. “Mhm.”
His godfather takes a deep breath. “Let me get this straight. You have a mountain troll in your school, which is supposed to be warded to high heaven and back, and your Headmaster tells you to wander through the hallways, where said troll could be lurking, to get to your dormitories??”
Harry nodded. “Yes.”
“What about the damn Slytherins? Their dorms are literally in the dungeons. They might be annoying but they don’t deserve to be killed by a thirty feet tall idiot with bad breath.”
“You know,” Harry mused, head tilting in thought, “you might just be the first, and only, adult to consider that. I’m not sure it ever even hit me until now.”
“What.”
“No one cares about the Slytherins, Sirius.”
“What—“
“I mean, I’m not saying they shouldn’t, just that they don’t. Don’t look at me like that, c’mon.”
“Harry, I have no idea what’s going on right now. It feels like I went on a weekend bender and never woke up, you’re literally two minutes in and there’s a mountain troll, a weird professor, a latently homicidal Headmaster, and still no Voldemort. How do I even react to this?” Sirius’ hands moved around frantically as he spoke, getting daste and more erratic with each word.
#sirius black#harry potter#good godfather sirius black#this is written from like. a year and a half ago.#i love it so much#a general love of people finding out about harry’s life#and a more specific love of sirius doing so#what fun#truly. an underexplored arena in hp fanficcery#why am i posting snippets u ask#bc i’m writing FoD again which means i’m rereading all the published chapters and the stuff i’ve got in the doc#which means i’m falling in love all over again#and ofc i have no self control#so i must share it with the world as well#this is making it hard bc i had a specific scene for the basilisk discovery and i forgot that i had this reveal#so now i’m trying to figure out how to make it work#u know realistically. harry can’t tell sirius about ALL the fuckery across years right?#so maybe i’ll cut it off after first#and then tie in that scene for second#which would push it up to way later as opposed to the summer timeline i was assuming#but it’ll work regardless#esp since i have the brand new scene of harry & sirius talking about remus (mwuahahaha)#ok ignore all this rambling lol sorry#enjoy the snippet!#fic: foundations of decay#pen’s writing
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Something I’ve noticed for awhile is that I often get comments from people about how they are surprised how I always come up with theories and try to guess what might happen and they “could never do that” themselves. I want to say: yes you can! There’s honestly a shortage of Nevermoor theories and ideas and speculation and etc and I want to see MORE!!!
Want to talk about how Morrigan’s mom is actually secretly alive? How the Scholar Mistresses are a Wundrous Act? Do you think the Tempus Divinity looks like an owl, or do you think Weaving and Ruination would be met together? Or have you ever thought about how this one line, from Chapter 19 of Nevermoor, about Betram Crow actually means he was a Cursed Child? Whatever it is you want to talk about: GO FOR IT!!!
I personally find it very fun to go sort of “English class mode” and look at the text in front of me and think about what different things might mean and analyze it and even overthink it to an unnecessary (but fun!) amount. But that’s just me and how I like to approach things! You don’t need to make long posts and quote specific lines if that isn’t your style. The big thing to remember is that so much can happen in the next six books, so throw any idea out there! You never know what twists and turns will be thrown at us. I think it’s fun to share these ideas and discuss with other people— sure, maybe there’s just something you missed when reading, but perhaps some new ideas spawn might from it. Some speculation could even serve as inspiration for fics!
There are some theories and thoughts that I’ve posted that have been “debunked” when I reread a book, or when someone pointed out something, or even just when something had a real-world basis that I as an American didn’t catch. But it was still fun to think about it all, and there’s some bits and pieces that I see as notable and worth considering. I think most of the Silverborn Masterpost is going to be “wrong”, but if just 1% of it is “correct”, even indirectly, I will take that as a win. I know it feels like during the hiatus everyone’s talked about everything, but I hope that the incoming communal reread (fingers crossed) and obviously Silverborn brings some speculation back to the fandom because I want to discusssssss!
#nevermoor#pleaseeeeeee I like discussions and bouncing off of other people and other ideas#I just wrote some of the top theories I could think of that I've seen around#I have a post in my drafts about the Bertram one lol#I have many half written theories in reblogs added onto other people’s posts that I decided to save ‘until Silverborn or beyond’#and then it got delayed….. and delayed……….#writing this post is also reminding me how I was going to look at chapter 9 in each of the books and then possibly multiples (18 27 etc)#also asks. either I answer asks right away or it will take months or years (like a time-specific art request that I promise I’ll get to lol)#and maybe even chapters that just end in 9 but idk that’s something to tackle in the future lol#there’s also that idea I had ages ago about a ‘9 masterpost’ which was every single instance of 9 and whether it ranged from#‘this is just Jess’s favorite number’ to ‘wait actually this connects to that and that connects to this and maybe it means—‘#anyways tl;dr: please share more theories and ideas and stuff I want to discuss I love discussions I love thinking about things in new ways#also don’t even worry about being coherent!! all my posts are rambles lmao <3 just throwing my thoughts out into the world#I love rambling it’s only fit that a post about my rambling theories is also a big ramble#I am guilty of usually throwing stuff around on discord and only posting on here when I can organize it into a coherent post or list so.#must get better at that.#again: see the fact that I have many a theory that I just never end up writing bc I feel like I need more info or smthn 😭#it doesn’t help that I still haven’t gotten to my eternal hollowpox reread (RIP my old notes) and at this point I’m saving it for the reread#I am unfortunately in love with canon so if I can’t tie something back to text at allllll it’s like. this theory is getting postponed!#but it’s also fun to think about ‘crack theories’ in relation to the text (see: bertram crow as a cursed child)#anyways. ramble 2.0 over. I ❤️ talking in tumblr tags. I’m always on my phone. sorry for saying ‘text’ about a middle grade book so much. 🙆
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Okay so this quote from Black Doves is so good I wish I’d written it:
“You have a warm heart and blood on your hands, and that’s not a good combination.”
But the brainrot is so real. A second after I heard it I went: “Fuck, that’s Q.”
Thinking about that time Ben Whishaw said Q was warmer than anyone would expect him to be. Thinking about him saying care and concern is at the core of Q and Bond’s relationship, despite all the aggravation. Thinking about him saying Q was just trying to find some sort of balance between home and work life.
This man has a real knack for playing morally grey characters who have a strong, beating heart.
#sorry i'm shutting off reblogs for this because i don't want it doing the rounds#but feel free to drop your opinions in the replies or in my inbox#I have Thoughts on Black Doves#it’s a very beautiful show and oh my god that scene with sam and michael in the latter half of episode three !!!!!!!!!#some of the best tv i've seen all year i shit you not#my heart was in my throat#but I do think the show draws on tropes and characters that already feel familiar in its genre#and i think whoever's written this has had a good look at ben's previous role as q and dc's bond#and wondered how to make characters like that exist in a morally grey world#idk maybe i've just watched too much espionage-related media#the dialogue and the writing don't always seem realistic to me (i'm saying this as if 100% of the writing in bond ever did lmao)#still BD has some incredible moments of brilliance and i'm glad i'm watching it#anyway jesus that one fucking line AHH#so so good
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someday i will finish my dsmp royal au and share it with the 3 people still involved in the dsmp fandom (/j). someday...
#it's been sitting in my drive for like a year and a half atp#4.5/10 chapters complete#i was gonna wait to release them when i had them all written but the temptation grows ever stronger to just share them now#1wn8ure.talks#dsmp
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*crawls onto dash like an axolotl*
i- i am alone. back home. writing time.
#I got halfway through Authority and it's honestly pretty baller. I think the protagonist will connect less with most people but#It still has that juicy juicy deranged Annihilation flavor. Oh your family was fucked up and that's why you can understand The Horrors#I want to carry the author over the threshold bridal style or something.#Also I got halfway through 'Foundations' which was written by a physicist noble prize winner with grossly inflated sense of ego who#was trying to make a religion out of Abductive Reasoning while barely knowing how Abductive Reasoning works. All his social takes#were fascinatingly bad (not wrong to be clear; just bad examples no solid logic) and he also clearly gave the halflife of C14#and proceeded to say that we used it for figuring out Neanderthals were in Europe a few hundred thousand years ago.#I swear to god physicists should have emotional support geologists they can consult on the phone whenever they're feeling#a bit spicy about psychology and philosophy and it would save the world half a dozen bad takes.#His physics and 'layman' outline of how the physical world works though was really good. I quite liked that though. I would've#finished the book except it's my brother's and it's not good enough I would steal it. Except that fucker bought#THE ALTERATION OF ECONOMIC GEOLOGY and for HIMSELF not ME and that I might yoink lol.#Anyway COOL I AM BACK IN MY OWN BED I CAN RESPOND TO SOME EMAILS AND TRY TO AIM FOR CHAPT 34#I hope everyone had a really good Christmas! <3#ptxt
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#i come at this with no agenda no not at all i definitely haven't written countless letters to MPs trying to save a similar museum no....#there's no reason i am tagging this#powerhouse museum#i could be thinking about any#museum#like#questacon#or the#Museum of Science and Industry#or maybe im thinking of#London Science Museum#it could be any#technology museum#or#science museum#It's going to be the Tumblr#Museum of Applied Arts and Sciences#and we will never let a CEO earn half a million a year while she denies funds for essential maintenance and strips out educational content#if i had more spots i would have added in one for the history of communications exhibit and#the Emergence of AI exhibit the old founding director proposed but as you can tell#i am very much grinding an axe right now
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[ suddenly getting emotional over the fact that i used to be so anxious and insecure about writing eden ( or calling the trailblazer eden instead of the default name stelle ) or how ppl might view her given how i had a certain personality developed for her even before the game was released. and looking at her now, having forged such wonderful dynamics and bonds with so many ppl and growing into her own self beyond what i, as a mun, could ever envisioned. i'm just so so grateful to those who had stuck by me since i debut this menacing raccoon and help forge her core and identity to become who she is today. ]
#.ooc#[ i'm probably not making much sense but i'm just#suddenly hit by this realization that without all the muses that had been in eden's life she wouldn't be ' eden '#all the interactions / dynamics / relations / bonds she had forged on here#are what defined eden as eden and set her apart from stelle#and i owe it to every single one of you welcoming her & loving her as much as you guys do#the same goes for yinyue who i had written even before w.uwa was released#dON'T MIND ME I'M JUST GETTING EMOTIONAL RANDOMLY BUT#LOOKING BACK & LOOKING AT HOW FAR THEY'VE COME MADE ME SO !!#SOBS THANK YOU FOR LOVING THEM & MAKING THEM UNIQUE WITH YOUR MUSES' INFLUENCES !!#I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN A YEAR AND A HALF SINCE I HAD THIS RACCOON LOOKIT HER STILL HOGGING THE BRAINCELL ]
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thinking of rereading the entirety of HoME again. for my health
#‘for my health’ says the woman who has been struggling so much she’s barely read a book in the last half year lmao#silmarillion#(eh close enough)#tolkien#personal#also because I got so viscerally appalled when someone the other day tried to claim that ‘the second age has a lot less written about it tha#n the first age’ like I beG YOUR PARDON LMAO WHOMST#clearly someone hasn’t read unfinished tales 🙂↔️ clearly someone hasn’t read the entirety of HoME 🙂↔️#and like obviously idc idc I’m not a completionist truther read as much or as little of a fandom as you want enjoy what you want etc.#but when I went ‘oh there’s actually a lot in unfinished tales and in the home! it’s rly fascinating and fun and some of my favorites have y#ou had a chance to check it out ever?’ this person rly had the audacity to say they’ve ’read some of the unfinished tales’ like hm. somethin#tells me I don’t believe you lmao#I have never once in my life heard someone call. unfinished tales. the book. titled unfinished tales. ‘the unfinished tales’ like lmao what#anyways. it’s okay to admit you haven’t read something babe I was actually gonna recommend a few parts of that book and HoME you might enjoy#but 💋 okay then 💋#also normally I’d give ppl the benefit of the doubt but this person is Like This TM a lot and always has to outdo others & im over it lmao#but also also anyways. I am not immune to the HoME rereleased editions with that gorgeous artwork they are calling me and I am weak to#resist their siren song 😭😂 they’re so beautiful but each set of like 3-4 books (some have 3 some have 4 and the last one also has an index)#are like. over $100 each lmao ripppp.#I do own a few of the HoME but I don’t own all of them and. aaaaaa I need a complete reread#13 yo me 🤝🏻 late 20s yo me : going ‘hmm life is crazy maybe I need to immerse myself in the obscurent most dense Tolkien lore I possibly can#and yknow what. we’re so right. we’re so right#the history of middle earth#unfinished tales#and that conversation. as weird and posturing as that person was being. did get me reminiscing about my HoME obsessed days and I was like aw#I should revisit that :)#sometime self care is rereading 12 volumes of obscure lore about a fictional world with no one to talk with it about#anyways home my beloved. unfinished tales my beloved. love those books#obviously OBVIOUSLY I love the silmarillion and LOTR and the hobbit and beren and luthien etc etc ad infinitum as well! ofc! I just. I love#all of them ♡ hehe ♡
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realising you're trans is like realising you've been driving in a clown car all your life and infinite clowns of misery and uncomfortableness and dysphoria have been squished into what looks like a completely normal car and once they start coming out they don't stop
#me rereading a vent fic about chest dysphoria i started in 2021#the same me who didin't accept i had chest dysphoria til this year 💀#'oh yeah that was just a phase' no bestie you repressed it to hell#and once again i WAS trans in 2021 i was nonbinary i was just also blocking EVERYTHING out#mine#gender adventures with neednoggle#i need to be nicer to myself ive only properly known for coming up to 4 months#vs 21 years of not knowing#im doing ok#i think im still enby now as well#jus in different way#some of it is hilarious anyway#i mean how much transmasc fic can i both read and write over several years#feeling incredibly comforted by and connected to#in a way nonbinary fic did not make me feel#and not have something click?#just feeling like a bad enby™#yeah all my transmasc fic? none of it was written with a jot of self awareness except half my bill and frank one#honeslty i think they were what tipped the scale 🤣#ok enough outing myself for today lmao
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maybe I should get back into writing, I used to write so much more in college--mostly poetry as a way to vent (which I occasionally still do, but I never go back and workshop to what feels like a passable endpoint to that process), but a few drabbles here and there. never went for anything longer bc it felt like something out of reach for myself to realistically want to complete. but idk. maybe it's today's adderall kicking in and the fact that I've gotten relatively good sleep for the first time in a bit but what if I just tried and it was kind of awesome
#been going back through college coursework and recently went through some files i had on an old google drive#where i found a bunch of old writing. and some of it was half-decent and/or did some cool things! which is funny bc#i once went back and read through one poem that i thought was like my best work at the time and it. well i physically cringed at it#mostly bc i submitted it for an anthology thing that the club i'd been part of was pushing everyone to submit to and like.#i remember thinking that there was no theme so i could submit whatever. but the anthology DEFINITELY had a theme and my poem was not it#regardless the poem was pretty mid#but yea i'd written a lot more than i'd remembered. i'd kinda gotten to a point in my head where i'd convinced myself that when i used to#call myself a writer that i'd kinda appropriated the term. but no i was writing!!#anyway. massive theme in my life rn of trying to figure out what actually went on in college vs the story i tell/told myself of everything#EDEN fans when the memories bend and the past changes: 😫😫😫#actually yea this entire personal ramble post is actually a plug. go listen to the ICYMI album. the first song is one of my fave poems#i think i want to wormshop. woah meant to type workshop there but like. wormshop. sorry where was i.#i think i want to workshop all my older stuff and maybe then see if i can make a coherent collection out of it. i feel like i have a much#better understanding of things that were sorely lacked in many of those. like a sense of cadence in a lot of the free-verse stuff id written#of course i'll probably unearth anything i work on now in five years and cringe but thats how creating things and growing goes!
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heol
#⠀ᶻᶻ⠀turn it up!⠀#unrelated its ltr not even what i linked but chasing time - azealia.. Dontttt omg ts is so facking good who made that beat!!!!!!!!!!#ANW. if breakaway is minhui then this is yijun. mayb the single ver more than true romance ver actually.. it js sounds more raw#i rly wanna talk abt why he hates jaehee#bc i’ve yapped abt minhui and talked abt DY/JY sort-of parallels in replies somewhere i found it the other day#and ik the ‘he doesn’t fit’ is what's been written (in pieces + that yt rundown i think) but likee it goes deeper than that#im gnna struggle to put it into words properly but im talking to myself so i can not make sense as much as i want thanks#ok. so he goes on and on abt how jaehee ruined BS bec he ‘didn’t fit’ into the four that they were without him but. he’s lowk projecting#he joined JG in 2016 - jiyeol mai hyeonmin and KOHEN were all there before him. jy’s in ‘08 mi + kh in 2010 + hm 2011#they chucked their whole childhoods away for jg - and in reward they were meant to be jg’s first boygroup#they ltr would’ve debuted in 2013 if it wasn’t for hyojoo being like hey! this is kinda weird lol! a 17 yo two 15 yos + a 13 yo is weird!#yj was late as HELLLL 2the party. he wouldve been left as a trainee while JY MI KH HM debuted as 9ANTHER if it wasnt 4 The Kohen Mai Thing#aka they started messing around in like 2014 while jy pretended he wasnt abt to crash out and hm had to listen to jy trying not2 crash out#then it got real bad like august 2016 and all of a sudden they HATEDD eo they couldnt even b in the same room#(aka. kh wanted him mi wanted jy and said Lollll i hate u die)#all in all: kh kicked off debut team. spot opens up for yijun right as he enters the company. he’s not cut out for ts at all#he was lonely back home and now he’s lonely here and now apparently he’s in a debut team with 3 guys who know eo and he wants to die#hyeonmin like smiles at him like ONCE during practice and he latches on fastttt this leech 😭😭😭 tries to worm his way in via hm#spoiler! it only half works theres sand under his skin he hates it all he’s not meant for them he needs a gun#it gets better over the years and jy + mi sorting their shit out & cutting off kh completely makes yj feel wayy more secure#and then they debut even if it is after yoonhae’s literal death. and then jaehee comes in like Hiii i like to act and colour ^_^#HE WNATS TO DIEE ITS HIM ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! cant even bear to look at him#like the walls are UP he’s not letting himself become kohen. and when jh tries to get close to min - ltr exactly like he did.......#ITS NEVER BEEN MORE BONSOVERRRR#so there. he’s mean and hates him and wants him dead for that. Yayyyy#kh has def said some nasttyyyyy shit to yj too ijbol like mind you he didnt leave jg until jy did! THIS YEAR!#the song. is abt himself. him to him in the mirror. to kohen. to jaehee. he’s mad at shit that’s never happened and he’s never gonna stop#the ‘why did you fall for me’ though.. that’s him to min like#he feels like he’s conned him into it - bec the first couple months he only rly was around him to try and get into the inner circle#and then he fell in Lol. Gay
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That cw class was so interesting, it was the advanced class which I thought would mean better writing than the intro one I’d taken a year or so ago, which was overall true, but also. It was like nearly every single person in that class had decided that they were serious writers who didn’t write about juvenile topics, they only wrote about big complicated things and emotions, which meant that probably seventy-five percent of the stories I read that semester were about a character dealing with either the death, near-death experience, or approaching death of someone they cared for.
#like they were all pretty well-written! but by the midway point i was like ohhhh my god can we all agree to do something else please.#and then compared to the intro class i took… the skill range in that class was BIG. there were a couple people who clearly had never written#fiction in their lives before mixed with a few people whose writing knocked me on my ass with how good it was#but even the less experienced writers… every single person’s story in that class was SO unique. i would have never read anything like it#if i hadn’t taken the class and i Can still remember all of them now two years later#vs this one which i only took a few months ago and still half the story’s have already blended into an indeterminable soup bc they all felt#so similar
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i dont think im capable of being as enthralled with anything else in the world as i am with idkhow. i think this is just who i am now. forever
#im serious#yeah ive had side interests. but every single time its a b-plot to idkhow or i lose interest and return all my energy back to idkhow again#i genuinely dont think im like. capable of caring about anything half as much.#they have had me in the most ridiculous chokehold for the last 2 years and without idkhow i feel half of me is gone#NOT A SINGLE interest of mine has been like THIS. i was hyperfixated on markiplier for like 4 years but it wasnt like THIS#fun fact actually i listened to his song ‘i dont wanna be free’ 400 times. it came out in 2018 and i stopped listening in 2021😭#BUT GUESS WHAT. IVE HEARD DO IT ALL THE TIME ALMOST 500 TIMES JUST THIS YEAR ALONE#😭😭😭😭#chase said something alright#idkhow#i struggle with having more than 1 interest at a time and this one will NOT go away so i think. its just written itself into my soul.
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