#had no idea what kalia looked like so i made something up

[cosmic-horror-clown]

Happy Holidays!

Take some time to sit by the fire to enjoy a cup of baccoffee and some Christmas baccookies while your friends are decorating the tree with baccornaments...

[hawaiian-hunter]

That’s not a headcanon...it’s a BODY canon...

OMG this thing turned into a damned book because I just... can’t seem to shut up today, apparently.

~~~

prompt from rpcdev’s micro challenge library. (link if you are curious!)

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

Kalia lives in her family home in Honolulu, Hawaii.  After her parents were killed when she was a teenager, she lived with a family friend that she calls “Uncle” for a number of years but recently moved back home. Being a hunter and knowing what is out there, she did not feel she could abandon the people of Oahu to monsters and such, even if most people these days don’t believe in the supernatural.

Her home is two stories, her parents having bought a home large enough for multiple children, although it was not to be. There is also a basement. She studied dance and music in her youth, and once upon a time, the basement was her sanctuary. She practiced her guitar and danced her way across the smooth floor and back. The piano she played in the living room, of course, being highly impractical to have a piano in the basement as well, not to mention it would take up too much of her dancing space.

There are four bedrooms, once upon a time, the master was her parents’ room. When she moved back home from the mainland, she didn’t have the heart to sleep there herself. So she transformed her beloved parents’ room into an office for herself, liberally placing family photographs along the walls. Her parents’ furniture is in storage as she can’t bear to part with their things entirely.

One, of course, is hers. She sleeps in a queen-sized bed, and the walls are painted a shade of purple, her favorite color. Small potted plants are scattered throughout the room, one on her nightstand, one on her dresser, one in the corner of the room.

The other two bedrooms are for guests, not that she has them often anymore. But she keeps the beds made nicely and the rooms dusted…just in case. Family from the mainland might pop in for a visit. You never know.

The living room is a very homey and cozy space, with the aforementioned piano near the floor to ceiling windows and French doors leading to the backyard and the beach beyond. The living room also, in addition to the requisite couch, loveseat, chairs and coffee table, holds a fireplace along one wall, its mantel holding more photographs and knickknacks.

The kitchen is one of Kalia’s favorite places in her home. She loves to cook and it shows, in that she had the entire thing remodeled when she came home. She always has a pot of coffee going, no matter what she is doing, whether it’s cooking, researching for a case or just relaxing with the stereo on.

The backyard also got an upgrade of its own when she returned, as the wooden furniture her father had built needed a complete overhaul, having sat out in the elements far too long. So she’d had everything sent off to be refinished and restored. And she’d had to buy a new barbecue as well. Now she was all set to entertain again, inside the house or out of it, should anyone ever visit…or decide to stay.

( ** The following is verse dependent – just in my stuff with @jackal-mcgarrett  but I like to think of this as Kalia’s main verse so… but anyway… ** )

Jack. Jackal McGarrett, son of Commander Steve McGarrett, head of the Five-0 task force. Of all the people that have come into her life, he is the one she is the most surprised over, and the happiest, if she is honest with herself.

She’d had the impression that she would be alone, and she’d been fine with it, come to terms with it, as she wasn’t the sort to pick up people in bars and have one-night stands. She understood the reasoning behind such behavior in other hunters… but she was a very emotional being and some hunts can be very draining, not just physically but emotionally as well. She just never felt she could handle not being able to share the reasons behind her post-job emotional fallout.

But Jack? He is a hunter himself, and more often than not, the two of them work together, so he not only understands, he has them himself on occasion, and she is more than happy to support him as he does her in these moments.

Somewhere along the way however, their relationship grew from hunting buddies, to drinking buddies, to friends, to best friends, and now… something more. She had feelings for him. Strong ones. And she knew he had them for her as well. I mean, a guy didn’t kiss a girl like he kissed her unless…  But they hadn’t had any discussions about anything or tried to put a name to what they were.

Jack had a key to her home, which she had given him some time ago, reasoning at the time that given the materials she had access to, it made sense for him to come over if he needed to research something. But then, as with everything else about their relationship, that grew as well, and he started coming around for reasons other than work.

Despite what Jack thinks of himself, and don’t get her started on that…please don’t. Kalia doesn’t like to think too long and too hard just yet about why Jack thinks of himself as less than human, because if she does, then she’d end up doing something…that while satisfying in the short term, might not be such a great idea in the long term. Not to mention, Kalia has a dark side. Everyone does. She doesn’t want to imagine what Jack might think of her if she gave in to that dark side, that sinister voice that beckons every so often, when she hears Jack malign himself.

But despite what Jack thinks of himself, and she disagrees with him vehemently, she has grown ridiculously attached to him. Attached? Who the hell is she kidding? She’s in love with him. Head over heels, ass over teakettle. The whole shebang, and then some. At first she was scared as hell of those feelings. Well not the feelings themselves, because she’d had them before, even though it’s been quite a while. But what people would think of her, of him, of them.

Jack had had to convince her otherwise one day while they had been out and about together. She’d been in a bit of an anxiety-ridden panic over their age difference but Jack had been quite adamant, jerking her to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk. His entire demeanor had changed and he’d taken an unusually serious tone with her, one that was usually only reserved for when they were on a job. He’d looked her in the eyes and point blank told her that he “didn’t give a fuck” and she shouldn’t either. When she’d protested about his reputation, his father, and his work with his father’s team, he’d rolled his eyes and did the one thing he knew would shut her up…at least for the moment. He’d kissed the living daylights out of her. It was cliché as hell, but it worked. It shut her up all right. It also dawned on her that no one, aside from a passing few teenage boys with more hormones than manners, seemed to care. From that point on, whenever the demons of her mind bothered her on this particular topic, all she has to do to banish them is recall that kiss. And the look in his eyes after.

[finderskeepersff]

76. Part 4

Chewing on my bottom lip, I assumed we would have gone inside by now but no, we had to take pictures. I mean it’s annoying but Sofia is happy and so am I, Cartier is asleep so we can’t take pictures with him. Watching Sofia in awe as the photographer took pictures of her, she don’t even need to do much but just stand there. I am amazed to be honest that she is mine, I mean look at me compared to Sofia. Getting my phone out, if this nigga can take pictures of her then so can I. Switching to my camera, pointing my phone to Sofia. This sun is glaring, shuffling to the side a little, that is better. Tapping the button, the red button came on, oh it’s recording. Sofia looked at me “am I doing two photoshoots?” she asked as I zoomed into her “I am more important now so you look here” Sofia grinned “got it?” she is glowing, she looks so perfect “what is your last name now?” I questioned “Warren, officially” she put her hand up showing off her wedding rings, tapping the button to stop the recording “you got that right, sorry. My bad” the photographer is not impressed, walking back a little. Tapping on my Instagram, I am proud of Sofia I ain’t hiding shit that is my wife and I am proud of her. Tapping on the video, and then writing out a comment ‘My wife’ I don’t need to write anything else, this is it. That is my wife, and I am so proud of her “Cassius, if you can join Sofia, and do not step on her train like you did before” putting my phone in my pocket “yeah, I will that was by mistake, I didn’t see it” walking over to Sofia “you’re clumsy, how can you not see something white on the floor” walking closer to Sofia “every time I get close to you, I start sweating” no lie, I actually do “just stop there Cassius, don’t look at me” looking back at Sofia and we both laughed “this is different” I said putting my head down “put your head up, you have done something I didn’t think you would have. Cassius I am so proud of you, two damage people can love and get married” she is right “you right” looking up at Sofia squinting my eyes “we can” she is not wrong “can you come closer to Sofia now” he is bossy, stepping closer to Sofia “I am taller than you now” placing my hand on Sofia’ stomach “how is she?” it’s been so long since I seen Sofia “hold your hand there” I think he needs to leave me alone.

I didn’t know Sofia had a second dress but Sofia ran off with Mia and Olivia, they have taken half hour now. I have no idea why she needed a second dress, I loved her wedding dress on her. Blowing out air, looking down at my watch “she is here” looking behind me, Olivia stepped out and then Mia “finally, did I need a second thing to wear?” Olivia laughed “you’re cute, no. It’s just it’s heavy for her and she wanted to be comfortable. I personally love the second dress” Mia said as she held the door open “come on out then, done had to dress your ass” Sofia walked out of the room, again she got me shook “wow” I said placing my hand over my mouth “what you think?” Sofia twirled around the sleeved dress with a high neck and beautiful heart-shaped cut-out detailing to the back. A white flowing dress with another train but it was more short than the wedding dress “it’s beautiful, I like the back” I said, Sofia held her hand up “and I am married” she keeps saying that, holding Sofia’ hand as she twirled around, the design at the back is beautiful “I really love this dress, I can’t wait to devour you” I am sure that was meant for my mind “negro, you need to wait” Olivia said, I chuckled as I hugged Sofia.

“Why can’t we just walk in? I mean it’s out party?” I don’t understand why we need to wait outside the damn door “because they will announce us and the doors will open, do you like everything?” nodding my head “I do, everything is so beautiful but I can’t help but feel I let you down because I wasn’t around for you, I didn’t support you and you just wanted me out of the way, I don’t blame you” I feel so bad that I wasn’t around for her like that, I was being dumb as fuck “don’t think of it that way, it’s fine. I don’t blame you for feeling that way towards it, I see it from your point of view too but you did it and you look so handsome in your suit Cassius, I love it. I didn’t get to see Cartier, I am upset. Is he ok?” I haven’t seen him since either “uhm, I hope so” I answered honestly, getting my phone out “let’s take a picture while we waiting” Sofia cooed out “you want a picture? Cassius Warren wants to take picture? Are you sure?” she is teasing me now “yeah, I do like them” I laughed “you do? Cassius, you was awful at it. I guess I finally broke you down and you want to take them” holding my phone up “I am not good at this” I turned to Sofia “here” Sofia smiled at me “I mean it makes a change from when we had our first date, I still love that picture of us” Sofia is so much better at this, bringing my face closer to Sofia’ “I love you so much” Sofia said before taking the picture “I love you too, I would kiss you but your make up” taking my phone from Sofia, I will post that later “let me hold your dress” she been holding that “no it’s ok, just lay it out for me. I think we are going to go in now” laying out the dress on the floor “come here” Sofia held hand out “let’s all cheer for Mr and Mrs Warren” the doors opened and much to my surprise the hall looks so lit.

I feel like I am Sofia’ dress holder, that is what I have been doing since we got inside because every person here wants to speak to her and we haven’t even sat down yet “Cassius, this is my auntie” I am sure that is not an auntie “she known me since I was a child” letting out an oh, it is out of respect “hi” I said “you done good for yourself, he is handsome and rich” she and Sofia both laughed “that ring says it all, you done well. You got a brother?” she is funny “auntie, you got kids!” Sofia spat “for my daughter, you sort her out. You need a man, look at Sofia. She got him holding her dress, congratulations” feeling a hand on my shoulder, looking behind me “can we steal you for a while?” Kyle said, shaking my head “no, why? I just need to hold Sofia’ dress, she might fall” Kyle snorted laughing “well hurry up and sit her ass down then!” Kyle spat, I swear I can hear Cartier crying “awww my baby!” Sofia shouted over the music, I really ditched Cartier on Ethan. He looks scared of him “he just woke up” Ethan said, turning around seeing Cartier, he is so upset and I feel bad. Cartier latched onto Sofia and held her “let’s sit down” Sofia finally said, I poked my bottle lip out at Cartier holding onto Sofia like Ethan kidnapped him.

Opening Cartier’ shirt buttons “just like me dada, we jacket free now” I gasped, Cartier is smiling now as he clapped his hands “I am so glad to have you both back, I have missed you both so much and I don’t like my son being so upset” Sofia reached over and started wiping his face, I would have left his face as it was but women, they never like the mess “I don’t think he will go to anyone now, we stuck with him” picking Cartier up and placing him further back on the table facing us “but we need to get rid of him, I want to make sweet love to you. You know how long I have been waiting for!? Years!” Sofia laughed out “you’re so damn dramatic, bye. But, I got my pussy waxed ready for you” licking my lips biting my bottom lip “proud of you Cassius” I snapped out of it and shot up “Marcel, thank you” I want to have sex, like forget this whole party thing let’s go to the sex part. Shaking his hand “to see her so happy, to see every trouble my daughter caused her gone. I can die a happy man, but if you upset her. I will come for you” I laughed “I won’t hurt her, I promise that. And I thank you for being there for Sofia and accepting me into your home” Marcel hugged me “any time, I will miss you” patting his back.

I can tell this is all Sofia’ favourite food because the amount of times she makes me curried goat “can we borrow Cassius, for a moment. Please” furrowing my eyebrows at Ethan asking Sofia permission, I am sat here “erm, if you bring him back but he is eating?” Kyle did want to speak to me earlier “I won’t be long, Cassius” getting up from the seat with Cartier “I will take him with me, he will play up” I can imagine he will get Sofia’ dress all messy and he will end up crawling off, Jasper rushed over to me as I walked off behind Ethan “Cass” Kyle ran over to me, something has happened, I just feel it that something has gone wrong “dragging me away from Sofia is not a good look you know” she is sat on her own, walking out of the building “they raided the warehouse in New York, Kalia is nowhere to be found either. We can’t get the next shipment and we lost the drugs” I sighed out “the bitch will be at her home or the hospital, you get Omar to find her. So how bad is the damage?” New York will always get hit, every time “they arrested the warehouse workers, so we down. The shipment is supposed to come tonight” nodding my head “see what happens with it, you tell Omar, you find Kalia. She is supposed to be doing her job. To be honest, I am not bothered right now. I want to enjoy my wedding. The shipment will happen, tell Omar gather more people ok? You made that shipment happen, I want my money. We have two warehouses, use it” I really just want to be carefree.

They think I am not going to want my money, they got another thing coming. That shipment will come and I will get my money from them, dragging me out for that bullshit. I swear walking back into the building, we look guilty but we have done nothing wrong, everyone is staring but these are all unknown to me, they are mostly Sofia’ family. Looking down at Cartier, he looks so cool my son, like he is cooler than me. He is a very lucky kid because he will have the world, he will have no worries. He will get everything and more, it makes me happy to see him getting the luxury and the love from Sofia and I and everyone around us. Wiping the drool from his lower lip, he looking all cool with his chain “Cassius, hello. Hi” looking up from Cartier and at this lady “uhm hi” who is this “oh this is my mother, mother. Please sit down” Mia said “I know you, I know your mother” my face softened “your dad works at Walmart, I was telling Mia I knew you. She didn’t believe me” Mia dragged her mom away with such force “ignore her, she is drunk” she knows my mom “Mia, I know him!” her mother said, staring at them as both mother and daughter argue “come on, let’s go” Kyle patted my shoulder, I would like to know how. Walking over to Robyn “I am going to get a drink, you good?” leaning down to pass Cartier to her “I am baby, are you?” I grinned at her “I am happy” I am very happy.

Downing the whiskey from the glass “another one” I announced “you downing those, what is up?” Kyle asked “I got to do my speech next, nervous. You know. I would like to know how Mia’ mom knows my family, Mia seemed to push her mother away, she didn’t want me to know anything so I do think that is weird” the bartender passed me another drink “thank you” let me take my time with this “forget it, forget all of that. Just think about that little speech, Sofia will appreciate it so much, she knows how shy you get and how you shy away from speaking publicly, you move in silence so I think you need to not get yourself all caught up in anything. Would you like me to start it? I will start it, wait here” I chuckled, Kyle is always helping me out because I have no idea on what to do. A nigga be confused as shit on what to do, downing the whiskey again “that’s it” placing the glass down, Kyle is not shy at all he don’t care “does this shit work” I laughed at Kyle tapping the mic, because it clearly does work “oh my bad, can everyone please sit down, come on people” Kyle waved me over, I guess this is is now. I am on my own with this.

I chuckled as I took Cartier from Sofia “let me have him” Sofia shook her head “no it’s ok, he is at peace. I am fine. What is Kyle up too?” sitting next to Sofia “you will hear him” I laughed, he is so dumb. He about to cuss these people out because they have yet to sit down “black people never listen” he said in the mic “you know what? I will just start, take ya damn time so if you haven't guessed I'm Kyle, and for those at the back if you can't hear me, don't worry. You won't be missing much. As the best man I had one main job, that was to get the groom here, and I must admit, it was a breeze. Cassius my brother, my best friend he was the one being active in all those things. So yes Cassius and I met in school, he was a nigga. I mean like a nigga with no manners but he is my friend which turned into me being one of his brother’s. When Cassius got engaged, I knew I was going to be his best man, I mean who the fuck else going to do it for that fool. I know with best men speeches I got to tell stories, I mean the stories I have are not for the ears of the guests. Also, Cassius would beat my ass” Kyle looked at me “so I was like what the hell I speak about” he sighed out “man, Cassius Warren. The boy that would do my homework, I was stupid compared to him. Even though we the same age, I watched him grow. I watched him grow because I was always so concerned on if he was ok. I ain’t about to be this downer vibe because it’s not that event but the things we been through, nobody will understand. To hell and back I went with Cassius but we made it, we can say we did it” nodding my head at Kyle, he can’t say much on it butI understand and I love him “the day has gone so well, what a beautiful wedding and Sofia. You are my sister, you have saved my brother, I can’t thank you enough. Now Cassius, he is shy, you need to be kind to him. He sucks at these things” I guess this is me “I have had the honour to start this off so let’s raise a glass for the couple” smiling as I lifted my glass.

I hate doing these kind of things, Sofia touched my hand. Looking down at her with the mic in hand “hello ladies and gents, thank you Kyle. You mean a lot to me bro” I chuckled “it makes me the happiest man alive to be able to stand here and say, ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, on behalf of my wife and I, welcome to our wedding and thank you for sharing this special day with us, it's great to see you all. Taking days off work and travelling from all sorts of distances is truly appreciated and genuinely blows my mind what you guys do for us. I did have this all planned, the thing about me is that I was in rehab. I didn’t bring the paper with me so I will try my best with this. Now I would just like say how beautiful my wife Sofia looks today” looking down at Sofia “it’s weird saying that, even she didn’t think it would happen but it did and from when we first met I kind of knew I wanted to marry you. I am so in awe of your happiness, energy, positivity and love for life and cannot thank you enough for how amazing you have been to me over the past years. I am incredibly lucky to have met my soul mate, my best friend and love of my life and cannot wait to grow old with you. I needed you as much as you needed me, and I wasn’t really put on this earth for just nothing, I was put here to make you happy. I hate the fact I was locked up for 3 years of my life, worst part of my life but if I wasn’t locked up and if I didn’t come out on thanksgiving then I wouldn’t have met Sofia, I would probably be dead and that is the truth. I don’t want to make things so upsetting but she is an angel, she has given me my son, and a daughter soon to come. She has the sweetest soul, to stay by me even when she gave up on me and I knew she did at times, the disappointing look in her eyes but still, she held on because she believed in me. I am the luckiest man alive, and I am sure you all saw me crying. It’s a new life for me, for us. There was a lot of hurt in those tears because I don’t deserve Sofia. I just want you to stand and raise a toast to Sofia Warren” I smiled licking my lips, Sofia hit my leg “you’re messing up my make up” I didn’t mean to make her cry.

Holding Sofia’ hand “I just want to say a big thank you to Sofia’ friends, you have been so good to us, Mia, Olivia, Mitch, Kenton and Lee. You all have become my best friends too, took me in. Treated me like your own, Amira and Kyle. I love you all so much thank you and Barbados” I laughed “there is too many of y’all but you all made me feel so welcome here. There was some disagreements but that was nothing, thank you for allowing me to marry Sofia and give her a good time, I know this has been the happiest day for her” Kyle ran over to me and placed the green box on the table and then ran off “Sofia, to my last breath I will do my all to make sure you are always treated like a queen” moving the mic away from my mouth to open the Rolex box “I got you this Rolex, it’s yours” moving the box over to her “she ain’t ask me for anything, she mentions things and never expects it. She is so humble and I want you to have this” Sofia is in shock, she better get that before Cartier does “seriously?” Sofia spat saying, nodding my head “for you baby” Sofia is an emotional mess “no way, Cassius what the fuck!?” she is so loud, looking down at her “it’s eighteen carat gold, you better not lose that” I said to her, she is really crying “anyways, thank you and that is it from me. I appreciate the love and I appreciate that you all have came, I want to raise a glass to my wife Sofia again, the lady in the emerald dress” Sofia put her head down, she won’t stop crying. Holding my glass up before downing the contents, I am holding off on the drinking now because I want to be aware of where my dick is going tonight.

Sitting down shuffling my chair in “don’t cry, I didn’t you want to cry. I mean that was me just reading out what I remember, there could have been more” I don’t like her to cry, Sofia moved her hand away from her face “your make up is a mess” I said, Sofia laughed “shut up, it just means a lot Cassius. I say so much shit to you and at times I am like is he even listening to me, is he paying attention and you do. Why would I ever think I would own a home, own a fancy ass car and now a Rolex? I am a mother and a wife, this is so wild to me and you made that happen, it’s just too much. I love you” Sofia draped her arm around my neck, pressing a kiss to her lips “that is me Sofia, I do listen but you know. I just be thinking everything else but it is noted” I am always listening “you two are so beautiful but we need to fix your make up, come on girl” moving back from Sofia looking up at Olivia “she needs it, let me take Cartier” he is so confused “that is so beautiful Cassius, looks so expensive too. Sis has a Rolex, like that prestigious status” Olivia stared down in awe “Kyle, put this away. I don’t want it to get lost” imagine that, I don’t want it to be missing they could get a lot of money for it.

Stood with Jasmine with Cartier in my arms “you know you have to do a first dance with Sofia?” Jasmine laughed “why?” I questioned, Jasmine snorted laughing “because nigga you have too, she is actually doing it too, with your two left feet having ass, you are so useless” Jasmine said still laughing at me “I don’t dance, niggas don’t dance. I will talk her out of it” Jasmine is dumb “I will love to see you do that but anyways go and cut the cake” looking over at Sofia, Mia is waving me over. My heart just melts seeing Sofia, I will do anything for her. She is so happy and pregnant “have fun bro” walking towards Mia and Sofia “this looks nice, so now what?” I mean I am just doing anything Sofia tells me to do “we are cutting the cake, come here” Sofia got her hand out to me “Jasmine says we dancing? That is bullshit right?” Sofia just smiled at me “give Mia Cartier” I am hiding behind my son “sure, go on dada, you go to auntie” Cartier is all calm because of his pacifier “come here baby” everyone is gathering around us “so what we doing?” I asked “look here” looking over at that stupid camera “put your arm here” he grabbed my arm and placed it around Sofia’ waist “now smile!” He is rough, I smiled and then mean mugged him “you smile!” He shouted “Cassius, stop it” Sofia said, taking in a deep breath and smiled.

“Hold the knife, we going to cut the cake and listen to when he says smile” grabbing the knife laughing “I do listen, he be mean to me” licking my lips laughing “sure, you are being grumpy” placing my hand around Sofia’ shoulder as she placed her hand over mine “hold the knife just on the cake” this is annoying “just cut it then, yeah?” I said “stop it, I swear. She said don’t!” I am tempted to just do it “look up” looking up at the camera “you a pain in my ass” I had to say it “and you ruining pictures, we equal” everyone laughed and so did I because it was funny, cutting the cake finally “can I eat this off you?” I said to Sofia “how about no” cutting the piece of cake as everyone cheered “don’t ruin my make up please” placing the knife down “I won’t, trust me” breaking the piece off “seriously Cassius” she gripped my wrist “I swear, just give me a bit!” I chuckled and Sofia moved her head back “no!” she said, licking my lips “let me!” I spat “awww come on!!” someone shouted, Sofia let my wrist go and placed the cake in front of her laughing, I really want to push it in her face, she bought her head forward taking a bite but I couldn’t help myself, I pushed the piece in her face as everyone gasped, Sofia moved away as I busted out laughing. Sofia hit my arm “she wanted cake” I pointed laughing “nah, come here. Come” moving Sofia’ hand away from her face “let me clean that” grabbing her chin and leaning down to her, licking the side of her face before kissing her lips “all gone” I laughed shaking my head “it was crumbs!” I spat “yeah, yeah, whatever! She got to feed you now cousin!” hope spat “no she ain’t” I shook my head “she can’t reach me the midget” feeling a slap to my face, I gasped with my mouth open “enjoy your cake” Sofia said, my mouth still open as I turned to her. Cake all on the side of my face “I told you!” Sofia said while wiping her hands, leaning down “all is forgiven if you lick my face clean” I really want sex, I am finding this a turn on “no more licking!” Jackie spat “you wipe your face” Jackie held out napkins “you got told, don’t get a whooping” Sofia said, she is so smug.

Throwing the paper towel in the trash, I had to clean off my face “bro” Kyle said as he came into the bathroom “yeah” looking at my face in the mirror “end the night good” turning to Kyle “yes, what do you mean?” I don’t get him “like, I am proud of you but Sofia is waiting for you outside. I think you should take her hand and start the dance. I know you done a lot but she deserves it. It’s her night, just walk over to her and take Sofia’ hand and start the dance” is Kyle being real right now “come on nigga, I can’t dance for shit. I am hoping she forget” I chuckled “Cass, seriously” I sighed out heavily “but I don’t know what I am doing?” Kyle stepped to me “you go to her, you will know what to do. You playing dumb” clenching my jaw as I put my head down “right” he ain’t wrong at all but I hate doing that kind of thing, it’s public to me “anyways, Amira told me to find you because you was taking your time, your wife awaits you” I sighed out, I guess I better go and start this thing, I honestly didn’t think we would need to do such things, I mean it’s just stupid to me anyways. Fixing my pants as I made my way out of the bathroom and onto the floor, I feel like everyone was waiting on me because the stares I am getting right now I feel uncomfortable. Kyle is not wrong, I should start the dance off but I don’t know what I be doing with myself, it’s me, I am dumb as fuck.

I am laughing and I don’t know why I am laughing, but it is because I am laughing at myself but it doesn’t help that Sofia is also laughing but I think she is laughing at me mostly, I am dumb so I don’t blame her at all “you took your time” she said as I got closer to her “I was about to run away that is why” Sofia squinted her eyes at me, Kyle is not wrong. As soon as I see Sofia I get so weak, like I can’t even say no to her. She is my bub forever “so, shall we?” I held my hand out to her “shall we what?” she laughed, she is playing “right, forget it” Sofia laughed “no, baby, stop it. I am joking” she placed her hand in mine “you really want to dance with me? I was about to cancel it, I knew you didn’t want to do it” walking backwards as I shook my head, that is why Kyle told me to do this, now I do get why he told me to do this “you don’t need to cancel, I got you” I stopped walking, looking around “we are in the middle right?” looking around me “it don’t matter about them” Sofia said in a whisper, hearing the piano play “I know this song, my mom played this” Sofia pressed her lips into a hard thin line and looked down “you’re gonna get me shy, but I will kill you if you step on my toes” I snorted laughing, placing my hands on Sofia’ waist “thank you” Sofia said “don’t be, you deserve it” we swayed slowly to the music “And I, I want to share all my love with you. No one else will do” I sang, Sofia poked her lips out to me “you do know it?” nodding my head “you always be, my endless love” Sofia giggled “I love you” I said before pressing a kiss to her lips.

[storytell]

@florabled​ asked

📂 for each of your Baccano! muses!

nice: she likes to dance, and is prone to dragging jacuzzi into dancing with her as some kind of stress relief. not ballroom dancing, though, mostly swing dancing.

claire: as a kid, claire’s solipism hadn’t fully developed, and was actually more similar to my twain’s view of “anything is possible if i work towards it”. he didn’t adopt the idea that the world is his until after he joined and started performing in the circus.

maria: she likes cooking and will cook for herself pretty often, but she always cuts her ingredients with a sword. also, her favorite foods to cook are all meat, because she says, and i quote, that it feels the most like she’s cutting right through another person when she’s cutting something like chicken.

isaac: growing up, isaac wanted to be a detective! it wasn’t until running away/being kicked out that he set his sights on thievery, and after that it wasn’t until he met miria that he ever thought about becoming renowned for it. also, one of the main things that discouraged him from pursuing being a detective was people calling him stupid.

berga: he’s probably the easiest of the gandors to catch crying, believe it or not, but he’ll never own up to having been crying when asked.

donatello: in his youth, donatello was a choirboy, and he can still sing relatively well. he’s a very musically inclined person when he’s not, like, killing sinners.

lua: lua doesn’t care about how she looks when she’s alive, only how she’ll look when she’s dead. because she’s never sure when ladd is going to kill her, she dresses more nicely on days she’s with him, and while he was in prison she put less effort into makeup and dresses.

dallas: dallas has probably the biggest fucking appetite of anyone ever. he’s constantly hungry, and thus spends a big portion of his money on food. he’s not picky about what the food is, but he is picky about how it’s made. he doesn’t like it if it isn’t high quality.

rachel: rachel used to want to be a train conductor, before the incident with her father. 

christopher: christopher’s love language is gift giving, with acts of service at a close second. he enjoys to bake things for people he cares about, given he has both the time and a place to do so. this becomes most apparent the farther we get from the 1930′s, as his bloodlust gradually fades altogether.

gabriel: they don’t just view juliano as their other half; they literally view themselves and juliano as the same person.

chaini: she likes knives, and if she has to fight will probably use them as her weapon of choice.

ladd: his favorite scent is the smell of blood, and his second favorite scent is “whatever perfume lua’s wearing”.

huey: they have a strong aversion to seafood of any kind, but will eat it if necessary, since starvation is far more uncomfortable than eating something they don’t like. 

victor: prior to his job with the bureau, he was a police officer. since he was offered a job there while still working the police force, the way he quit his job was by yelling “GET BETTER AT YOUR DAMN JOBS, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!” and walking out.

luck: having nothing to do makes him antsy, as he believes that something bad’s gonna happen after every time things seem like they’re calming down. as such, he’ll keep himself busy when he can because he doesn’t want to get that feeling of dread.

graham: he can name every part that goes into making a car, and every part of the human body. the issue with getting him to list them isn’t that he’ll forget, it’s that he’ll get sidetracked and start to ramble unless he’s set back on track. but then he’ll just ramble dejectedly about how he’s being contained. it’s a cycle.

sonja: despite how everyone treats her, sonja has actually killed someone before with her guns. the problem is that she was taught killing is alright as long as she uses a gun to do it.

melvi: he’s VERY petty in the sense that if someone he hates likes something, he will refuse to enjoy that thing in any capacity as he wants absolutely nothing in common with the people he hates.

esperanza: although he’s aromantic, he would enter a romantic relationship with a woman if that was what she wanted him to do. 

sham: he experiences romantic attraction in the same way an ordinary human being would, but he’s very cautious about it because the very idea of romance is a difficult subject. also, he gets very embarrassed when he pays too much attention to the vessels of his that have relationships he needs to keep up.

The Gang: some of the kids in the gang are actually runaways from rich families, but most of them were really poor. the poorer kids used to make fun of the richer kids until it was settled that they all ended up here anyway so it really doesn’t matter.

charon: they still believe in santa claus. no matter what anyone tells them, they stick firmly to the belief that he’s real.

maiza: he doesn’t like to text people in the modern day, and would prefer to talk over the phone where possible. as a whole, his feelings about technological development are a little divided, surprisingly. on one hand, everything that’s suddenly being created is very revolutionary and he appreciates how convenient it makes things, but he also can’t help thinking about the potential dangers.

czes: despite that czes learned to be pretty sneaky and underhanded, he finds pickpocketing either useless or downright rude, depending on the person and the item stolen. 

ronny: if he seems like he’s staring off into the distance, it’s because he’s more focused on something interesting or entertaining somewhere else in the world. he’s absolutely capable of dividing his attention, but he tends not to because he doesn’t see a reason to.

jacuzzi: the thing that makes jacuzzi the angriest to be made fun of for is his tattoo, believe it or not. sure, he doesn’t like it when people call him cowardly, but he’s a lot more defensive of the tattoo because of who he got it for and why he got it at all.

roy: he’s ambidextrous, and can carry out most tasks just as easily with either hand. that said, his right hand tends to waver and shake more, and his left hand was the hand he used to use for drug injections.

kalia: despite having a dog with berga, she’s actually more of a cat person. that said, she’d pick pesto (the dog) over any cat by this point.

rail: rail’s birthday that’s listed on my bio (november 3) was actually given to them by christopher. this being said, they were really upset when they had to celebrate a birthday without christopher, and downright didn’t respond to everyone else being sympathetic enough to tell them happy birthday.

[evstenroos]

The Valentine's Day Edit❤️

From the archive: February 3rd, 2021

GIFTS FOR YOUR VALENTINE: READY-MADE AND CUSTOMIZABLE OPTIONS THEY’LL LOVE

Diamond Heart Necklace, starting at $1,045

Nothing shows your love quite like a literal heart for her to wear around her neck. Made from your choice of 14K rose gold, yellow gold or white gold.

Diamond Initial Necklace, starting at $650

A truly classic piece that every woman has to own at some point in her life. Choose her own initial, or perhaps, the initial of someone important in her life.

Nameplate Necklace, starting at $250

Another timeless piece that anyone's sure to love, with up to 8 letters for a name or word of choice. Available in various fonts, different colours of gold, gold-plated or sterling silver.

Cursive Diamond Initial Necklace, starting at $460

If she prefers something a bit more feminine than the previous initial necklace shown, this might be the one for her. Available in 14K white gold, rose gold, yellow gold and sterling silver.

Family Birthstone Pendant, starting from $300

What could be more personal than a customized pendant with birthstones that she can hold close forever? Whether you wish to include her and your birthstones, or the entire family's, this is ultimate thoughtful gift.

Roman Numeral Date Collar Stay, starting at $285

This one is perfect for the man in your life! Available in sterling silver, gold and gold-plated to find one that best suits him and his style.

Please be advised that customizable jewellery, even though from our 'ready-made' collection, can take up to 2 weeks to complete in the specific metal/price-point, and/or with gems and diamonds, you desire.

Shop the full EVStenroos Jewellers Showcase HERE

OTHER THINGS WE LOVE: ELLINOR’S TOP PICKS FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

For our sweet-tooth KAKES & KANVAS is the perfect to-go-to! 

Kalia is a delightful fellow local female entrepreneur that continues to spread delicious sweetness in form of cakes, cupcakes, chocolate bites, around Calgary. We've crossed paths at networking events, weddings and birthday celebrations and fallen in love with her baked goods and treats. Kalia's chocolate bombs were part of the recent 'bling'-care package giveaway we held on Instagram, and we're hooked! Because who can say no to a marshmallow chocolate bomb painted in gold, for their coffee!?

Looking for a meaningful gift for someone you love? Why not hire a professional lifestyle (and wedding) photographer to capture you and your person, your loved ones, your family, pets, on photo? Photographs are a beautiful gift that captures your love and energy, and something you can enjoy looking at forever, not just a moment, day or week. Book a photography session with the talented photographer and wonderful human being that is Christy D Swanberg as a unique gift alternative to jewellery, chocolates and flowers - although, we say: why not go for them all?! The photography sessions with Christy can be safely executed outdoors, on a distance.

Whether you celebrate Valentine's Day -or 'Friendship Day' as it is called in Finland and Scandinavia, where Ellinor is from- flowers are always a good idea, no matter the day, or the occasion. Through our involvement in the wedding industry community in Calgary we've had the great fortune to work alongside Creative Edge flowers on several occasions. We're always impressed with their quality, creativity and service. If you sneak in your flower order now you can secure some gorgeous blooms to brighten your own, or someone else's day and week, ahead of Valentine's Day. Nothing adds warmth and some sunshine to a room like a beautiful bouquet of flowers, especially in the midst of this wintery cold-spell we're currently in!

And when you've had all your chocolates and special occasion meals that you desire, but wanting to feel better, stronger and healthier in your body, check out Tia of LiveFreeFitness for personal strength and fitness training and nutrition plans. We've been loving the online morning workouts from home, in place of in-person training, since June, and continuing to show up to them on Google Meet, until it's safe to return to the private fitness studio at the gym Tia trains her clients out of: Kings Fitness. (Ellinor's notes: I work out to help offset my immense love for good food and wine, but also to have something of a routine in the fluid work-schedule that is entrepreneurship, and blur of a timeline that is 2020/2021).

STAY TUNED...

Keep your eyes peeled in the coming weeks for some exciting announcements in regards to the launch of our brand new website! We can't wait to share what we've been working on - so much so, that to celebrate the official launch we will be giving away something extra special to one lucky winner. But you'll have to wait just a bit longer (such a tease)! Be sure to follow EVStenroos on our social channels so you don't miss out on this exciting opportunity coming soon.

[iestynnicely]

How Were You Told the Facts of Life?

Listening at the window during my Metrodeco Brighton show was a superfluity of nuns.  

  One glided up at curtain down and asked if I would sing at a convent charity evening. 

  I said, of course, sister.  

  The nun nodded.  "Bless you.  But just to correct you: not sister - but Mother Superior."

  She wondered about the spoken material in my show, in case we might include some of it on the night?  

  I said I had been asking people how they had been told the facts of life...

Bernard, 72

  My sister read about Dutch caps.  We looked at Old Masters paintings and wondered how having those funny big white hats on their heads would stop women getting pregnant.

Susan, 46 

  At school we were told, "Your body is a temple of the Holy Ghost" before being shown a public information film which made us all scream "Yuk".  Our biology teacher threatened to put on again Root Canal: The Musical. 

Raymond, 51 

  With the individual sperms themselves being so microscopic, I thought you wouldn't feel then being ejaculated and wouldn't know when to break off with the intercourse.  My physics teacher explained the emission process was pump-action and virtually impossible to ignore. 

  Which has very much proved to be the case, I've found. 

Cassie, 19

  My eleven-year-old twin sisters' head of year asked if they could be told at home about periods - definitely - and the facts of life, if possible.  Mum talked to them separately.  Milly had hysterics at the whole idea of periods and when mum tried to tell her the facts of life, stuck her fingers in her ears and sang One Direction.  Carolina said periods sounded a bit drastic.  She listened in silence to the facts of life, then said that she hadn't quite got it, so maybe when mummy and daddy next had a go at that she could watch?

Marion, 62

  My mother said the sexual act was something I should use.  I should flaunt the potential of a man getting it from me.  I should manipulate.  I should cajole.  I should go so far and no further.  I could be voluptuous.  Flagrant; bestial.  

  I said, "Yes, thank you, but what about the act itself?" 

  She said, "What do I think I am, a bloody biology teacher?"

Mikey, 29

  At fourteen, my dad warned me off booze and drugs and told me where the condoms were.  He later asked me to stop traumatising my autistic younger brother by inflating the condoms into limbless Godzillas. 

Trudy, 71

  I was told not to worry when I started periods because even the Queen and Princess Margaret had the same.  When we had whooping cough, we were taken down the livestock market for the benefit of the cows' sweat.  If ever a bull mounted a cow, we were told to look away and remember that we had to keep ourselves pure.  

  When local girls got pregnant, it was all "she doesn't know how it happened".  It made me terrified that even if I stood next to my boyfriend to kiss him goodnight by some mysterious happening I could have a baby.  I never sat next to my male cousins at tea, either - always at least place one away or diagonally opposite.  And I moved seats when a man sat next to me on the tram.  This was when trams were just plain trams.  Not like today going from East Croydon to Elmers End by enhanced tram.

Gareth, 42

  My uncle pointed to a bull and said, "Bull has cow, cow has calf." 

Larissa, 82 

  Oh, you've been talking to me lovely friend in the John Lewis Food Hall, haven't you? Has he put you onto me?  Oh.  That's...well, I did think he was my friend.  It's always been a bit up and down with him.  The other ladies in the Mansions said I was wrong to talk to him so much.  Kalia said I didn't even know his name.  I did - it was on his badge.  Eric. But I'd noticed he did seem to just be staring at me the most recent times I've been shopping.  I got so worried and asked him if the ladies - Kalia and the rest of them - were right and I shouldn't have been talking to him all those times?  About my health scares.  That particular time I was speaking to him I'd just had a particularly serious scare.  My breast implants.  My fourth husband paid for my breast implants; and he's kept the receipt.  Oh, I was anxious.  The next time I saw Eric was after I'd been for my consultation regarding my breast implants.  I decided not to bother him.  He was where he usually is, opposite the tea.  I just kept my eyes on the display. And he - oh, I was so happy - he said hello and asked how I was.  I gushed.  I couldn't help it.  Gushed about how relieved I was that he was talking to me, as I'd been so afraid that he had never wanted to, really.  He explained that at his age, nineteen, he just felt that he had so little experience in such matters as mine and could offer no advice.  I said that he should never have worried himself, the scare about my breast implants was over.  I wouldn't need to have them taken out after all - I just needed to have my nipples shifted.

  What?  So, you weren't speaking to my lovely friend Eric?  What was the question again?  Ah...well, I was a debutante and lived in the town rather than the country, so knew nothing.  If I'd known what my second husband in particular had in store for me, I'd have taken the veil.  

Thomas, 76

  We used to go to Leicestershire every summer for six weeks and there were chickens.

Sonia, 46

  My mother drew a picture of an erect penis and then of something that in no way resembled a vagina and said, "That, goes in there.  But only when the people concerned truly love each other."  I later found out that she had been asked to give me this talk by Miss Cavendish, my house mistress.  I also found out that my mother had told Miss Cavendish how when I watched cartoons I masturbated.

  "Except," Miss Cavendish said, "your mother being such the scholar didn't say that you masturbated, but talked of your fetishistic auto-erotic tendencies!"

Sian, 62

  My mother caught me masturbating when I was nine and a bit.  She dragged me in front of a mirror, made me open my mouth and pointed at my uvula.  

  "See that thing dangling there at the back of your throat?" she said. "Every time you touch yourself like you were just doing down there, it grows a bit.  And a bit more.  Until eventually it chokes you."

Sarah, 53 

  When I was about nine, I started asking mummy.  When I was fifteen, she said, "You know when we let Saltash off her lead in Stanley Park that time and that boy dog came ever so close to her and did that funny dance with her?  Well, mummies and daddies do that.  It's natural and nothing to be ashamed of and might be lovely."

Peter, 72

  My mum refused to tell me and told me to ask my nan.  I asked nan. She said, "No, sorry, Peter.  I never even told your mother or your uncles any of that.  If push came to shove we might maybe have taken them to the aquarium."

Fiona, 68

  I was told that as soon as the ring went on my finger in the church a baby would begin to grow in my belly.

Francis, 73  

  When I was fifteen my father said he had something to tell me, took me into the bathroom, went bright red and locked the door.  I thought, oh god, he's going to tell me that he's gone bankrupt or that mummy's died.  Such a relief when he started squirming his way through telling me the facts of life!  I already knew them - we had a gypsy family in the village and I was at school with one of the sons - but I wanted my father to be uncomfortable.  I only remember certain details of what he told me, such as him calling the penis your person and describing the inside of the vagina as like the nasal passages when one is suffering from a very bad cold.  Oh, and he used the full spermatozoa and said it was like live, bleached tapioca, could I imagine?  No, frankly, I couldn't. He ended his talk by saying that if I caught anything it would break my mother's heart. "And homosexuality is just silly."

  I didn't get to tell the Mother Superior any of the above.  I mentioned the subject of my spoken material, and she interrupted:  "How lovely that you will sing for us.  But about you going around and asking what you have, can I just say this:  God does not want us to overreach ourselves."

[littlewalken]

Jun 16

Okay, I think I’m officially depressed. I felt nothing when I frogged all the Mandala triangles I made, felt nothing when I got my present in the mail, only felt rage about my living arrangements which boil down to it’s easier to tell me to control myself than make the Life Ruiner act better.

The triangles were nice stimming busy work when I needed them and the idea is sound for making something with odd lengths of yarn. Little things that made up the decision but I was able to figure out a multiple of a number of stitches with the hook I was using that would give me squares and rectangles and hopefully shorter tails. Some of the triangles had super long tails that if used came like an inch short of finishing a row and I’m wanting as short of unused tails as possible.

When I get some light later today I’m going to get out one of the ball jointed dolls to pose with the little Scheepjes 10g sample skeins. I think I’ve stumbled upon a source of what come out as perfectly scaled skeins for bigger dolls. Those arrived so late in the day I haven’t even opened the box yet. But yay for yarn sales :)

If you have a Hobby Lobby coupon, or they’re having a yarn sale on their website, that’s a great way to get your hands on a Scheepjes box. I’ve already seen a couple of colors I might have to get larger amounts of. My mind is going to those crochet fashion doll patterns I have and getting some nice skin tones. 

Bryunzeel Design pencils for Dave Vanian, Prismacolor Clay Rose for gingers like Fletch, Derwent Soft Drawing for the earthen tones of Martin Gore and Alexander Siddig...

A 24 piece Derwent Soft Drawing set will give you all the colors you need for your Garak and Bashir fan art. 

It’s father’s day in the US and it’s perfectly okay if you want nothing to do with your sperm doner. 

(change of subject break)

To sum up my other thoughts for myself. Trying to work out something about the Orlando pod of SeaWorld’s killer whales keeping it Florida. In all the years of their breeding program there’s only been one mom who’s had to be separated from her sons because she’ll mate with them. Looking at you, Katina. Taku* didn’t understand ‘dude, that’s your mom’ and we have Nalani, and now Makio isn’t getting the memo that y’all aren’t Egyptian pharaohs.

Haida 2* and Kasatka* lived with their sprouter sons and didn’t have the same issue. Nakai has never tried to mate with his sister. Adan’s parents are uncle and neice (thru Kotar) and until the DNA test for Amaya came in her dad could have been her grand uncle Ikaika (thru Katina) but still.

This does bring up the thought of Katina having something with her hormones because her eldest Kalina* was a mother by 8, Kalina’s* son Keet was a father as a tween, and Keet’s daughter Kalia was a mother at 9. Other youngish parents in the matriline include Keto and Taku* who was said to engage in relations with everyone who would relations with him. 

And although Keet got busy twice without being the oldest and/or most dominant male he’s never been caught with even his adoptive mom or adoptive sister. With his brother yes but sword fighting is a natural way for bulls to play who is muy macho and be cool with each other.

So, thank you Katina and fam for keeping it Florida.

[finderskeepersff]

Epilogue. Part 1

“What about the kids, I can’t do this Sofia. I can’t, you are not thinking right” Cassius said in a panicked tone, he is scared and I understand why “the kids will thank you more, I am taking this into my hands, I am telling you now. I want you gone. Leave, go Cassius. If you don’t go now then you can kiss your life goodbye, I am telling you now Cassius, go!” my voice broke “I don’t want to leave you here, I will wait” I was breaking “no, you need to go! You go and take this opening where you can leave, Kalia has done this so you can go, please just go!” I shouted, I am angry at myself for breaking as the tears escaped, Cassius grabbed my arms and pulled me into him. “This is a nice ass house, don’t you think?” Gio said behind me, he broke my train of thoughts of that night, turning around to him “it is huge but he said freestyle, we know that doesn’t really go well and they always want something else besides what I assume” I ain’t going to do anything, my phone started ringing in my hand “ignore him, I will contact the client and ask again. But I think because he liked the bedroom you did, he said you got taste” looking down at my phone “god” I breathed out “hello” answering the call “hi, is this Mrs Warren?” the lady said down the phone “yes it is” walking away from Gio slowly “this is Mrs Greg from Brandon Hall, Cartier is not well. He wants to go home, he is in reception waiting for you. He is upset” that boy, he was so moody in the morning when I dropped him off, closing my eyes breathing out and I know he ain’t causing me shit right now “ok, I will be coming” I have no choice “bye Mrs Warren” he knew I was working far out today, I told him and I said Cartier don’t think about making me come back because you’re not well, you are well. Locking my phone “Gio, I am so sorry. I wanted to finish off with you, with being your partner in the company, I wanted to do this with you. I will work from home. Cartier is not well, I had feeling he would do this” Gio waved me off “do not say sorry, please don’t! It’s fine, kids come first. Just email me, and enjoy your time away ok” hugging Gio “thank you and take pictures for me of this room, send it me so I can runs some ideas by him, see you soon boo” grabbing my bag from the snooker table to walk out, I am so damn busy with everything, working mother life I guess.

Locking my Bentley door as I made way to the school, a whole hour it has taken me to come back here for this child of mine. All of my kids are in private school, I wanted to make sure they got the best, I didn’t want them to go to regular schools, I wanted the best for them and it does cost but it is so worth it, they get better education and I know they do enjoy it, I know Cartier does but he is playing up, he is doing it on purpose, I know him. Pressing the buzzer and stepping back, I should just teach his ass a lesson and say no and make Josiah pick him up, Josiah would really drill into his mind about being good, maybe I let him off too much “hello Brandon Hall Elementary” the lady said in the intercom “hi, I am here for Cartier Warren, I am his mother” I will judge Cartier once I see him, I need to see his persona “come on in” she unlocked the door, dragging it open and stepping into the school “hello, hi. Cartier’ mother” the receptionist said, where is she saying this from. Looking around me and she came from around the wall “follow me” I hope he hasn’t been naughty instead, following behind the lady, now I am nervous. I get scared to think I am not a good enough mother, or I am just letting them off. I don’t want that either “mommy, mommy, mommy. This is my mommy” the sound of my daughter’ voice screaming “don’t run! Sienna!” looking behind me, her arms attached to my legs “hey baby” looking down at her “mommy, you here!” she looked up at me, Cassius whole face on this girl, Cassius is just staring at me “I am here for your brother baby, what are you doing?” her teacher came rushing over “Sienna, you can’t run away like that. Hi Mrs Warren, we was just going to do story time in the story room, come let’s go to class now” her teacher held her hand out, crouching down “I will be back to pick you up baby, ok” hugging Sienna “I miss you” she gives the best hugs “I miss you too, you go now. Be good” she is so adorable in her uniform, my favourite child “bye mommy!” getting up from my position, the receptionist smiled at me “I guess when you have both kids in the same school it happens” rushing to her.

Do they have my son in a holding cell, what is this “we put him here, he said he was unwell and we thought he could lay down” she opened the door “I will get Mrs Greg for you” she opened the door, side eyeing her as she moved out of the way, walking into the room. Cartier turned in the seat and looked at me with his puppy dog eyes “I will be back” she walked off “Cartier” closing the door behind me “I want to go” he got up from the seat, he is ready to leave “no, you sit there. You’re unwell, what is wrong?” he is a liar, he ain’t ill “I feel sick” he mumbled “where is the sick? If you sick then then there would be actual sick around, I don’t see it? Cartier, look at me” he is lying to me and I don’t want that from him “what?” he dragged his eyes up to me “are you ill?” I asked him “yeah” so he is going to carry on with it “if I ask you again and you lie to me then we going to have problems, are you ill?” he sighed out, he sighed out like he got real problems in life “no” I knew that “why? Cartier you knew this, I said I am busy today, I got a big day today. And then we going away tonight, I am busy but you make it worse for me, because you can’t be bothered to be here. You’re not stupid, you know this” the door opened behind me “Mrs Warren, hello. Cartier how are you feeling?” she asked, I would like to whoop his ass “what has happened to your shoes?” I just seen the mess of them now “yes Mrs Warren, before Cartier said he was not well. We was doing some painting and a student by accident dropped paint on his shoes” I just seen the fucking mess of his shoes and pants “is that child going to buy him new ones, look at the mess of that!” let me calm my ass down “I understand Mrs Warren, can I just speak to you outside” there is more to this story “just wait there” I said to Cartier, walking behind Mrs Greg outside the room, she closed the door “Cartier when he came in, he was sombre. He has been sombre when we started, we started off fine though, I picked up on his mood. We did some arts, he wanted to sit on his own, his friends wanted to be close, Cartier refused and then that happened and Cartier to then tell the boy he would kill them you don’t know me, before it escalated I broke them up and helped Cartier clean his things, then he said he is not well, is everything ok at home?” I had a feeling there was more to this “he misses his dad” I admitted “and I will deal with him” walking around her, I just want to go.

Placing my bag on the back seat before slamming the car door shut, I am very annoyed still. The boy is not even ill and he is sat in my front seat acting butt hurt about his dad. I don’t smoke but recently I started, I am stressed out of my mind and I am trying my best to be good for these kids. I am trying to live a normal life and work, it’s hard to juggle it all. I was going to light one but I just want to go home, dragging open the door to get inside “that paint on your pants better not mark the seats” getting inside the drivers seat “I want to go home” he said, he is so grumpy and he reminds me of Cassius. Sienna got Cassius face but this child got Cassius personality “mhmmm” putting my car engine on “you want to get some frozen yoghurt?” I try and be strict with him “do you want it?” he asked me, I smiled a little “if that means you speak to me?” he nodded his head “then we will go for you” I had to laugh, that is such a Cassius thing to do “ok boss” shaking my head laughing.

Sitting down across from Cartier, a lot as happened and I wish he wasn’t so clever with shit. I married Cassius knowing the life I was getting myself into but it’s still so hard, the life he lived would catch up on him and I have always been so scared of it but it happened and I had to make that decision. Cartier has been struggling with the thought that his dad just walked out on us but I told Cassius to go, either he would have got locked up or killed and I told Cassius to go, I told him to escape so he went. I didn’t ever explain that to any of these kids because the next day the police were at the house, they wanted him and they had the proof, there was no way any of them getting away from this and I didn’t want to test that out either, it was awful. Seeing my husband a wanted man, it hurt me. They knew I was lying but Cassius and I had to split, no speaking, no connection because till this day they still monitor us and I can’t risk losing him to be locked up or even me now, I need to be here for my kids. I don’t know where Cassius is, Kyle also ran with him, and Amira because of the club she had to go. It’s a mess, I never told any of the kids why just because if they get questioned they could say anything but it’s hard on me, he did send a letter to me. Cassius didn’t want to go, it was hard to make him go but I didn’t want him locked up for life, that was it “you look upset” Cartier said while playing with his frozen yoghurt “I am just thinking Cartier, I don’t like to see you upset, you know this” he shrugged, with his stubborn self as always.

That poking the lips out sad face he is doing right now “talk to me, we have” looking down at my rolex “an hour, then we need to go and pick up your little siblings. Talk to me” Cartier slid off the seat, he dragged the chair close to me “what are you doing?” he placed the chair right next to me “before dad left us, he said to always look after you” he climbed onto the seat “you know I don’t need that, I will look after you, not the other way around” I chuckled “but mom, why did dad go? It’s his birthday today, I heard you telling Auntie Mia, that is why I am sad. Why did he leave us, did I make him sad? What is it?” shaking my head “it’s nothing to do with you Cartier, all I want for you is to be good in school, you got football to do. Coach said you are lacking, just because dad is not here that does not mean you do this. You’re nine and you acting like you’re grown, be a child and what you said in school, listen to me” I pointed at him, he was about to speak “you do not ever say that to anybody, I will not have it” Cartier is mean mugging me “I know what dad did mom, kill everybody. They call me young don!” gripping his face “you are not that! Me and Cassius did not put you into private school for you to think that! Your father did not go to your football games every morning for you to be like this, he did not want that! You know that, you listen to me Cartier, you stop it. You are hurting me, those people were stupid” he is hurting me, I don’t want that for my son. Not that life “I just want dad, why did he go mom?” Cartier sobbed, moving my hand away from his face and hugged my son “baby, it’s for the best trust me. It’s me” it breaks my heart to even hear the sound of his cries.

I don’t want to cry but his little face, for him to think it is him when it is not him “it’s his birthday and I want to see him, tell him I will be good” my lower lip quivered, wiping Cartier’ tears with my thumb “he knows” I strained out, moving my hands back from Cartier looking away from him. I did this, I made this decision for Cassius to go and at times I think I did wrong but I didn’t, I would be visiting him in jail or his grave. He had everyone after him, you get too big that is what happens “I love you mom, you’re strong” taking in a deep breath “thank you, we need to go and get your siblings now. Please trust me ok? And when we get home, get your things together, we are going on a family holiday” Cartier moved from the chair and walked to me, hugging him as he held me “it’s ok to cry Cartier, sometimes we all need to cry but I need you to trust me. And trust me when I say your dad loves you, he loves his little dada boy. And if you want to ever cry again, you cry. I am always here for you, just like you are here for me” when I told Cartier and Sienna Cassius left, they was heartbroken but Cartier was angry at first, but then it turned into hurt, now he misses him but Sienna she gets on with it.

Getting out of the car “come on you, I am not leaving you in the car alone” he wants me to go inside and leave him in the car, he is funny “fine” he sighed out, I just love that my kids are in private schooling, I just want the best for them “come on” holding my hand out to Cartier “mom, I’m big now” I laughed “so what, you are my baby. Even though I have your little brother too, but you are my first baby” Cartier held my hand “when are we going to Barbados again? It’s fun there” I chuckled “how do you know we going there?” he is cute “really!?” he spat “yes I am not joking, we going away there. Now you ruined it” walking towards Cassiel preschool class before I get Sienna, Cassius named Cassiel him damn self, I left him to it and this is the name we get but I am happy with it actually, it is different. He just turned four three weeks ago, I seem to have my kids near Cassius birthday which is funny to me but I am done with kids now. All of them under ten is a pain but I love them all so much “are we staying there for long?” Cartier asked “erm, about two weeks, we will back before you go back to school” smiling at some of the parents walking by me, I don’t ever speak to these people.

Cartier ran inside Cassiel’ preschool class “hey! Cartier leave him” these boys, Cartier grabbed Cassiel “mommy!” poking my lips out at him, he just so adorable “Cartier, leave him. Let him come to me” I can tell he is about to cry, Cartier let him go so he can run to me “awww you had a good day baby” catching him as I picked him up “mommy missed you too, big boy” he is heavy “you show mommy the picture you drew” his teacher came over to me “oh wow, Cassiel, you did this” grabbing the picture from the teacher “for me?” I asked, he nodded his head and then he kicked his foot right on my thigh “ouch” moving the paper back seeing Cartier trying to take his shoe off “leave him!” these kids are a pain, Cartier still held onto his foot “mommy! He mean” Cassiel whined out “I know, Cartier will stop it! Seriously” Cartier pouted letting his shoe go “go and get your bag baby” placing Cassiel on the floor “you stay here with me!” I pointed at Cartier, he is being a brat now Cassiel is here “here!” Cassiel ran at me with his bag.

Sienna and Cartier ran ahead but Cassiel held my hand as walked slowly towards the car “you two! Calm down, Cartier. Let Sienna sit in the front, it is her turn now” this is why they are running, for the damn front seat. Sienna and Cartier are like twins to me, they are so damn close and Cartier adores her so much but they do fight a lot “what did I say? I am not going to unlock the door until you let her sit in the front, it is her turn” my poor girl, she has no chance with Cartier “mommy, tell him!” she yelped “I am first born! I am older!” he shouted “and you don’t raise your voice!” I spat “now you listen to me, when I unlock this door, you sit in the back” Cartier didn’t move back, he is adamant in doing this. Moving my hand away from Cassiel “right move” pulling them both away from the door, unlocking the door and opening the door, pushing the seat forward “get in now” grabbing his arm and yanked him forward “don’t piss me off, get in now!” I spat, these kids are so annoying “and you too!” grabbing Sienna “why mom!” she spat “I saw you laughing so that is why, Cassiel will sit in front. None of you kids listen to me, and Cartier. You’re working my last nerve!” pushing the seat back “come here baby” Cassiel is such a good boy “kids huh” looking up at this random guy just smiling with his daughter “hi Cass!” the little girl waved at Cassiel, a small smile played on my lips, the name Cass “hi” Cassiel said to her “I know, just don’t have anymore” I said to him “you got your hands full, anyways Amerie say bye” she waved at Cassiel, look at my baby boy pulling a girl.

Helping Cassiel out of the car “ok kids, we need to get ready and we need to leave to go Barbados” Cartier ran out of the car from the drivers side “Cartier, I am serious. If I see you playing in the games room I will be very angry!” glaring at him but Cartier never listens, Cassiel also ran and then Sienna, they are all going to do the same thing. These kids never listen and then leave all of their bags in the car, reaching into the back seat and grabbing the backpacks “Sofia” moving back away from the car and seeing Omen stood outside the gate “hey” he waved at me lightly, Cassius has some real loyal people and he still remained around for me and the kids, he didn’t get caught up in it all. Closing the car door and walking towards the gate “what are you doing here?” I asked as I got closer “you know me, I am always checking on you and the kids, I sold the diamonds for you. It was hard, I rode all the way to Hollywood and got a good price, where would you like me to put the cash?” when Mitch gave me the diamonds I didn’t know what to do with them and I gave them to Omen, clearly he is better than me “I am going away, keep it with you. Take your cut” Omen but his hand up “no, I did it for you. I am not that, Cassius has helped me a lot, so yeah. I will save it. Hey” Omen waved, looking behind me “mom” Cartier slowly walking over to me “go and get the bags out of the car” Cartier is staring at Omen “have you seen my dad?” frowning at Cartier “what I say? Go and get the bags out of the car” Cartier’ eyes didn’t leave Omen “now!” I spat, Cartier looked at me before he turned away “he’s questioning still?” nodding my head “he is, I stay with my decision. He is only god knows but I stick with it, I didn’t want him dead, I didn’t want him locked up either and soon. We will meet” Omen smiled at me “there is more people in Brooklyn, shit ain’t the same anymore. He was the president of Brooklyn, shit was deep. But I live here now pretty much, last I heard was he gone and then your home got raided and they took you in for questioning” I sighed out heavily “if they find out I have anything to do with him, I will be locked up too. I lied, I don’t regret it though. I helped him, it’s hard and Cartier is taking it bad. He worries me but thanks yeah. I haven’t moved yet soon though” I can’t wait to be with Cassius one day, I hope.

I tell Cartier to bring things inside and he leaves it on the floor “kids!” closing the door behind me “who was that guy? I don’t want another dad mom, I am leaving if you do that” who is this child even mean mugging “Cartier if you are asking me to beat you then keep talking, you and I both know that has already happened. You fix your fucking face too, I am not asking him to be your dad. Go to your room, pack your shit” Cartier turned on the step and stomped back up them “Cassiel, all I need you to do is sit and be good, take your coat off too” I don’t need him under my feet “mom! Tell him, go away!” Sienna shouted, walking up the steps “get off! It’s mine!” I just want a break from these kids and I can’t wait to get this in Barbados, my grandparents take over so I can just relax.

[finderskeepersff]

70. Part 2

Looking at my Rolex, it’s four in the morning and I haven’t gone to bed yet. I dropped Mitch off at home and now it’s time to go and see my warehouse, pay them a little visit, I like to know that I am around. New York didn’t really lose much as much as I did with Atlanta and Miami, it just dried up there so I know that my workers here are the best, they did their thing. I decided I don’t want to drive anymore so I am sat in the back of my old bulletproof Range Rover, I should have this car in Atlanta but I don’t really need it, it’s not something I want to put my family in “nothing has changed has there?” Kyle said “nothing much, just that they are all of my workers. Tomorrow is a big day for us, I want me, you, Ethan to be at that moment eating together in New York, a fancy place. Somewhere where there is police around, cameras. Reason why, if this goes to shit we are there. None of our business, also if we go near there we will be watched. I don’t want that. Kalia has done her thing, and we just need to take over. I have someone working there at that moment, he is going to make sure the gates are open. In and out, that is it. Kalia has said she had deleted any traces of this being there or arriving, this is what I needed. Police kept on knowing, obviously someone knew and the alarm was raised but tomorrow we just going to eat and then back to the hotel to sleep. That is all on what we going to do, if Omar and them go down then I said I will make sure they family are good. But it should be so smooth this, but it’s the first time. Once this comes in, we going to be so rich. We going to war with every city, we going to have machine guns, niggas are going to come to us for guns. They going to need us, and that is a good thing. Raphael has done well to get the source of this shipment for us, this can work. I know Raphael is crazy but he is alive still for a reason” I chuckled “you ain’t wrong bro, he is fucking crazy. I was sat there like is he on crack but then I realise he is. He does things in such stupid ways” rolling my eyes shaking my head “he gets on my nerves every time” but he is a good guy in his own way.

Walking just behind Fabian as I made my way into the warehouse, I think my warehouses are a delight with the way they are operated. It’s like a whole ass business, distributing for New York and these high end white guys, you always need the supply. I mean it’s New York, also I am providing work for people, they can live. It’s like everyone froze to stare at me, I mean I can’t forget the shit I did when I was on my moment of killing everyone, I was betrayed so I felt it “he is the boss” looking at the side of me “he is the same age as me, he is young!” Another guy said “when you start selling drugs at the age of fifteen and you didn’t give a fuck then you climb the ladder much quicker” the guy just swallowed hard stepping back in shock, I started walking as Fabian did “this is our operation manager here” Ethan pointed out “Cassius” this is a new guy, I killed the other one “I see the good work you do around here. I know shit dried up but not anymore. I don’t approve of bullshit and you all know that now. I came out here because I don’t want niggas to forget I can easily replace you all. I have eyes and ears everywhere, you mention my name I know. I own these streets, I don’t want any of you to forget who is helping y’all neighbourhood, while we kill these rich folk with drugs, we getting paid. Remember that, all of you!” I shouted “we feeding these people, we all getting paid. Some of you live in the place I bought y’all, me! Not the law, me! But don’t get me wrong, y’all been the best. When shit dried y’all did y’all thing and I appreciate it. I have a good team now, loyal and the only way is up. Come on, let’s proceed” I walked off, the new people seem more loyal now anyways.

Sitting down in the office chair “so tell me, do you think you can deal with distributing in other areas?” I asked as I stared at the cigar “truthfully Cassius, you need to open a new warehouse. We run too many drugs through here. We can’t do anymore, I heard you want to bring the guns here” placing the cigar on the desk, I nodded my head “I do, you tell me. You run this, you are here. What do you need? Also what is your name? You’re Ethan’ friend right?” he nodded his head “my name is Andrew” I laughed “very white name, you come from a rich family?” he shook his head “I got a degree, I know my things. I don’t do drugs but I can run companies, Ethan knows that. You pay me well, I have a regular job and this” white guy does well “ok so you tell me, you demand and I will supply” Andrew took in a deep breath “you need to open another warehouse outside of New York, you need to put the shipment in a different warehouse. We can’t have other vans come here or more vans, the way I set this up, it looks like we supply American sweets to overseas, we are registered company but I can’t have more things come here, open a new warehouse outside of New York and get more workers there, soon you can be running another city” Looking at Ethan “I told you I get the best people for you Cassius, I didn’t want to stress you with the shit detailing but Andrew has done good by you, he came up with the idea of registering this fake company” I am impressed “see” I pointed “my team in New York are good, I like you. I need you in Atlanta too. I got you Andrew, once this shipment comes through, you hear this Ethan, he gets a little bonus” white guy is good.

It’s been a long fucking day, meeting new fucking people all fucking day. Throwing my tie onto the floor of the hotel, unbuttoning my top buttons but then couldn’t finish off as I jumped on my bed and laid out on it, the sun is rising and I still need to take my shirt off, least I got my pants off. I am so used to sleeping about twelve and then waking up at seven for Cartier, my body clock is around looking after my son and not this. Stretching my body out, I am so damn tired but I have to call Sofia, if I don’t she will be moody with me. I promised her as soon as I got in the room and I am, unlocking my phone with my eyes half asleep. It’s six in the morning, I can’t even deal with this. Tapping Sofia’ name, please don’t let her pick up because I just want to sleep. Pressing the speaker phone button and placing the phone on my chest to let it ring out. My god, I am going to sleep good after this “look at the time” I scoffed rolling my eyes, I really wanted to just sleep “hey baby” picking the phone from my chest, taking it off speaker phone “I can see the time but you said call you when I get in, I did. I had a long day today. Lot’s of business” rubbing my eyes “I get what you mean, but it’s late Cassius. I can’t really sleep either, I am missing you and so is the baby” she is such a brat “I know, look. I need to sleep. I am going to fall asleep. I will call you as soon as I wake up, I promise. I love you so much. Please just rest, I am good” hearing Sofia whine out “Sofia, please” I mumbled “ok, I love you too. Least I know you’re safe. Bye” disconnecting the phone, I don’t want to be snappy with her.

I groaned out seeing the time, it’s the afternoon but I knew that was going to happen. I mean I did sleep at six in the morning. I have never slept like this before, I am literally sleeping like a starfish and taking all of the double bed, I kind of miss this kind of setting. Sofia usually takes all of the space on the bed or she is always all on me, I sighed out as I turned onto my back. I feel better now that I have slept, I can now not be so snappy with Sofia and I can just speak to her. Last night I couldn’t do it, I just was annoyed she was away and also I was too tired to hear Sofia whine about shit, I have done so much in one day. Tapping Sofia’ name, I am ignoring the rest of the numbers that have called me, Sofia comes first in my list “you will remain in that high chair until I get you out, hey Cassius” Sofia is threatening my son “wow, you threatening the boy, what he do?” I am so sad for him “what doesn’t he do, he’s going to hurt himself, he is just everywhere and I can’t trust him on his own so he can sit in his high chair while I make some food for myself. I am hungry” poor Cartier “but don’t shout at him, he is innocent in this, he just trying to explore” Sofia scoffed “sure, and then he hurts himself then what? I will be the one to wipe his tears but anyways, you not angry anymore” she knew I was “I was tired, I had a lot of things happening but I miss you a lot, Brooklyn is my home but it’s not like that anymore, you know that but I should be back quick. I am trying anyways” this is why I am rushing shit.

Sofia is just ranting on, I am just listening. Best way is to just not say anything “are you listening?” she asked “huh?” I am not actually “actually while your there, Mia said she been having some issues with some people there. Your people, they been keeping her up at night and then they be disrespectful by doing dealings outside her door, can you just do your thing” rolling my eyes “I ain’t her carer, I don’t care” I need to get out of bed “but she is my friend that asked me to ask you, so please” kissing my teeth “right, anything else? Today by the way. I got a big day today, don’t call me. I will call you Sofia. Don’t call me unless it’s serious, I pick up of course but if it’s because you miss me then please don’t. I need to concentrate on this thing going on” Sofia is quiet on the phone “got it?” why can’t she just say yes “if I want to call I will” she is a brat “please be more supportive, you calling makes my mind go elsewhere and because of you I could get killed, then what?” she being spoilt for not reason “fine, I cried last night. I called because I was hurting, you was hurting” closing my eyes “Sofia please listen to me, I need to concentrate on this” I am being serious with her “I promise” that is all I wanted from her.

Pulling up my sweatpants as I made my way through the seating area in the restaurant at the hotel “we been here for an hour” Omar said, Kyle just laughed “I just arrived, Cassius is never on time” nice to know Kalia listens, she arrived like I told her too “well I was asleep” pulling the chair out across from Kalia “and then I had to make sure my son was good and my girl, but now I am all ears” the waiter came over to the table “any drinks?” he asked “water and whatever they want” digging into my pocket “put it on this card” throwing my black card on the table “anything on that that table there and there” I pointed out “put it on this card” the waiter looked in shock “of course sir, I will put this behind the bar” nodding my head as he walked off “how does it feel to hold so much power?” Kalia asked “mhmm, I thought the law had power? Who am I?” she sat forward “you have your own network of people, people you have given homes too, jobs, wages. I can’t even sleep at night because I think my neighbour is one of your people. You are powerful” raising an eyebrow and shrugged “you shouldn’t need to worry, you loyal to me I will be loyal to you. I don’t let the power get to me, I am just a guy. Let this waiter take your orders and then we can talk” he is coming back to take the order.

Kalia is very scared, I mean she shouldn’t be. Just be loyal and you will be fine “you can eat you know, I ain’t a bad guy. I just have to at times pick me over them, I will always choose me” Kalia sat back in the chair “Cassius, you got arrested in Atlanta is not good. You know how hard it is to get you out, I had to make out you was my informant. I had to put myself on the line here, all is well though. I just think you need to not cause trouble for yourself, you need to not do that. I am trying to get back onto your case, I want to know what they are doing to you. Before they took me off, you was always going to be an open case. Have you ever thought of going overseas?” frowning at Kalia “why?” I said “shut up bitch” Omar said “shut up nigga, why you say that?” Omar is dumb “you said it’s me or them, maybe you can choose yourself and your family and leave America, I know you can’t go some places because of your record but I can override that, I have access. Maybe you can have a peaceful life that way, I can see it in my office and they will never leave you alone. You are rebuilding your family home, I know. They was talking about it. When this goes down you need to be where I said, you need to be away from it. Police will be around and good, you are going to be tourists and look around, if this goes wrong we will be fine. I did my part, now you do yours” nodding my head.

Walking into the elevator with Kyle “Cass” Kyle hit my arm, looking up from my phone “what’s up bro” pressing the top floor “you ain’t really thinking about leaving right? After what she said?” locking my phone, placing my phone in my pocket “man, I don’t know. She ain’t wrong, if I am not taking something she is offering. Listen, I am just thinking. If I can stay with my kids for longer then I should, I need to see how this shit goes first but if I can see my daughter grow up, get married. I want to be the man to do that. Give her away, who going to love her if I ain’t, it’s hard. I just need to think on it, it’s a girl Kyle. That my seed and I need to do what’s good for them, I ain’t about to greedy for money. I leave this then you do too, but for now it’s the usual” Kyle looks sad “I thought you wanted me to leave this?” I laughed saying “not the country, I can’t have that” I hit his chest “stop being pussy, we good for now” he is so stupid at times “Amira and I are going to do IVF” he blurted out “what is that?” I have no idea “it’s where they get the egg and my sperm and bring them together” letting out an oh “right, how come?” that is weird “she can’t get pregnant bro, it’s been so long. It’s me” nodding my head “cool, do what you need to do. You need any money for it?” Kyle shook his head “we good, just thought I would tell you” stepping off of the elevator “so you like cum into a cup and shit? Or you have sex with her like that?” I am confused “cup, I got to go in a room and do it. It’s weird” walking down the lobby “right, why she can’t get pregnant? Ain’t it just like have sex and there you have it?” Kyle chuckled “I thought the same shit my nigga, but nah. It’s deeper than that, look I ain’t tell anyone just you. It’s me, my sperm count is low” looking behind frowning “how can it be low?” Kyle rolled his eyes “listen I don’t know, I stormed out, acting like I am some little bitch but we can do it that way. I ain’t like to hear that so we trying” a low sperm count, I am confused but I am just going to leave it at that.

I am feeling optimistic, I am excited. My shipment is coming, my plan will be going into action in like ten minutes. I have a fresh new suit to wear, I am enjoying wearing them. I know I said I wasn’t going to call Sofia but I miss her, I don’t know. When I think about her and people speak on things like that I get sad “you said don’t call and things, you busy now?” Sofia would say that “I miss you bub, I just need to hear your voice right now” pushing my tie up “awww Cassius, well you know I am here. I started packing for Barbados” rolling my eyes, she ruined the mood “cool, babe. How does someone have low sperm count?” I need to know this “what?” Sofia said “I just need to know Sofia, tell me” looking behind me, she is on speaker phone “well I think it’s when the man releases his sperm, they release loads of sperm in one go. Someone with low count doesn’t” that is crazy weird “right” grabbing my jacket “why are you asking such a thing? Tell me” putting suit jacket on “Kyle said he got it, don’t mention it to anyone. They doing something, I forgot now. To get her pregnant. I don’t know about this shit Sofia” I laughed “Oh wow, and yeah you are useless with all that. I hope they have a baby. I know your sperm works, they don’t stop” walking over to the bed, grabbing the phone “you know that baby, I have question for you” sitting on the edge of the bed “proceed handsome” I want to to be home so much “so if you had a choice and I could get out of this shit, we can start new. So that means we can grow old together but the only thing, you had to move to another country, what would you do?” I asked, I would like to know her reaction to that “I would grab it with two hands and never let go, why?” licking my lips “hold that though, I need to go now. I just needed your vibe on the phone. I will text you when I get back in the hotel, give Cartier a kiss from me. I love you to the moon and back ok?” Sofia sighed out “I love you too Cassius, I am wearing your top. I feel better now like this” smiling lightly “I am always with you, bye” I need to disconnect before I don’t “bye” disconnecting the call.

[finderskeepersff]

66. Part 2

Looking down at Cartier as he drank his milk, he been acting out earlier but now he is drinking his milk. It’s going on eleven at night, I think he knows it’s Christmas, well Christmas eve but still, it’s here and I know he is hype about. Usually his eyes be sleepy as fuck but he awake and very alert but still drinking his milk, I don’t want him to be like me. Awake at night, I want him to have a normal sleeping pattern, be the legend he already is. Be something more, so I will make sure he sleeps. Cartier really does play up with Sofia though, he wouldn’t even have his milk but with me he did, I don’t even think I am strict but he listened, maybe it’s that bond we got. Even though he can hold his own bottle, I am still holding it for him. He is my little baby still, I mean he is a baby but he is growing now. Cartier placed his hands on the bottle and moved his head away from me with the bottle in hand “you don’t want me to hold it?” that is mean, I think the best blessing I ever got is this, being a father. It’s such a good feeling to have, such pure love and no judgement at all. For Sofia and Cartier I am going to calm my ass down, I am not going to kick off at them two downstairs. I think I was going to be ok with them and yes I got them watched, found out they was not at the airport I assumed so it pissed me off. But for the sake of these two I ain’t going to say shit, people don’t understand how much these people have hurt me and used me, they expect me to be good because I got a fucking heart “ain’t he done yet?” Sofia asked “no, he is awake still” I laughed at him, he is being a real pain today.

We trying another way now, Cartier has not slept with milk so we doing the laying him in the crib with his bubzy but this little nigga is not trying to sleep “go to sleep!” I said laughing, gripping his arms and yanking his hands off of the edge and laying him back down “go to sleep boy” placing his pacifier in his mouth again “and here” placing bubzy next to him “tomorrow I will be here to wake you up, we going to have so much fun together. I promise you, we going to open some presents. Watch some movies together, we going to turn up together but you need to sleep” moving my hand away from his pacifier, he smiled at me “you think your funny, I am still here for you. Watch you while you sleep, your momma ain’t got the time. You done pissed her off” I chuckled “but you got me” turning Cartier onto his side, this may work. I mean my poor back reaching into this crib, rubbing his back “you relax boy” rubbing his back lightly, he is settling a little actually. He held his bubzy close, stroking the back his head. His hair is growing out, I may shave it or get him a shape up but he has some light skinned hair, it’s so light.

I did it, he is asleep so I won this battle, he is such a brat for that though. He just wanted to stay awake and annoy his mother which is funny to me. After that kick off I didn’t go down and remained upstairs but I am going down now, I ain’t going to shy away from them two idiots. Walking down the steps of my home, I think next year is going to be very interesting and I know for a fact Kalia don’t know what’s hitting her, we going to be importing them drugs and guns now, Raphael has a dealer and all we needed is Kalia, she will get this shit for us. Bigger and better Cassius for the win, none high Cassius is better. Hearing the talking in the living room, clearing my throat as I made my way into the room “y’all cosy here” I can’t help it at all, I need to stop “I am, nigga I ain’t scared of you” Jasmine never shuts up at all “I know that, you’re a little bitch that is why” Sofia mean mugged me “I won’t have that Cassius, you won’t swear at your sister in this home, you have some respect. I could be having a girl and I wouldn’t want any man swearing at her, neither would you so no” Sofia is just, annoying I will say that instead “I just remembered, I can’t really stand you at all. Carnell’ best kids, I don’t need to see any of you” I just remembered how much I can’t stand them and I can’t sit with them.

The J trio, I remember my auntie said that. She was like the J triplets, I was the odd one fucking out and I knew that. Downing the Henny from the glass, Sofia’ great ideas be annoying my life and now I am stuck with this on a lovely day for us “bro” I stopped midway with my glass in my hand “you don’t have any” I mumbled “but I do” slamming my glass on the counter top “don’t call me bro Josiah, you got balls coming up to me” looking over at him “I am not scared of you out of fear but because you’re my eldest brother and I respect you. And what you think of me means a lot” moving back from the kitchen counter “I am weak” he said it for me “I know I am, I know I am the weakest twin. Jordan always wanted to be with you and like you. I didn’t mean to disrespect you but I was upset. You don’t know what it’s like to lose a twin, I walk around with half a heart. He was a sick minded guy but he was my other half, I just wish he listened to me, I wish everyone listened to me but like you said, I am weak. I am sorry, you know how hard it is to keep family together at my brother’ funeral, and then I was seeing it all fall apart and the only person that kept us together was disconnecting himself” his voice broke “I know dad is no good! I know Cassius, I lived it with you! I attacked you because I was angry, not at you but the piece that was keeping us together was breaking away. It came off wrong, I get it” I would like to beat his ass to be honest, my fucking golden child brother.

Josiah slid his phone across the counter “you want me to break that?” I looked at the phone “look at it” reaching over to the phone, flipping the phone around “Power Rangers” looking down at the picture of me and my brothers, I would say I was eight here “I was always the black ranger, no matter what” placing his phone on the counter top “we had a good time as kids, three boys. Our childhood was so good and that was because of you, our older brother is so cool. Even when you came to high school and beat those kids for me, you always looked out for us. Jordan and I we twins but I wanted to learn and he didn’t, he knew them kids were being dicks to me but you, you came and nobody ever touched me again. I would never disrespect you Cassius. Dad told me to beat them guys myself, I can’t fight but you didn’t say that, you did it for me. I always respected you, you don’t get it. I never meant to do that. I keep that photo in my phone because it reminds me of the good times. You think I am having fun in Cali, Jasmine is but me, nah” he shook his head “I miss my brother, not money but my brother. And you got it all wrong, we never went to JFK openly but it was the cheapest way to get here without paying out so much. Hundred dollar cheaper, we ain’t seen them in months. Jasmine calls but I don’t because I blame them, not you. I ain’t come here for anything, I came to see you and if you want me gone still then I will go” reaching over to his phone, sliding it back over to him “don’t ever turn to drugs” I said “I tried it” he shook his head “not me, I didn’t feel any better” grabbing my lighter from the side, walking towards the double doors “come” it’s cold out here but I can’t do weed inside.

Holding the blunt out to him “you need to relax more than me” blowing the smoke out “what drugs did you try?” I still see that teenage Josiah when I look at him, it’s crazy how much he is still a young kid to me. He held his arm out “needle?” he nodded his head “you hooked?” he shook his head “it scared me, and then I told Jasmine. So she been keeping me close. I been living on the streets but I am with Jasmine now. I ain’t no model, I ain’t shit. Jasmine is crazy, she got a sugar daddy, he pays everything for her” that is a mess “why you being weak? Tell her no” Josiah shrugged “I am living in her place, I can’t. Cassius, you were more of a dad to me. You took everything for us, you took the ass whoopings for us, you took this for us and now you a big dealer because you didn’t want us to be but you taught us to do good, you told us to do good in school. That night, remember when I followed you downstairs, I couldn’t sleep. You said for me to do good, be something because you’re lost. And that time I told you I failed my exam and you said I still did good even though dad beat me for failing” wiping the tear that fell “because you did do good, dad didn’t see the beauty in failure and you tried again and you passed. I took you out” Josiah nodded his head “I miss you” Josiah cried out “don’t cry” hitting his shoulder “it’s fine” he is howling, I wish he wouldn’t “come on, hey” yanking his arm forward “come here” pulling him forward to hug him “stop being dumb” hugging him.

I ain’t seen Josiah cry like that, he ain’t cry like that at Jordan’ funeral “we only had each other, we did and we still do so when y’all picked them over me I was hurt, still am. I was there for you all, I paid out yes but I was there for you all and y’all didn’t want me, I love you all so much and that rejection really pissed me off and then you came at me. Out of everything, every little thing that happened to me I still prefer it being me then y’all. Big brother bond is different and I protect y’all” we have been outside for so long “let’s go inside, I am cold. My balls have disappeared” walking back into the home “I ain’t ever been involved with the shit you do Cassius but when I needed too I tried, Jordan was stupid and I wished he listened to me. If he did then he would be here but he ain’t. You held us together, and then once you left there was nothing for us to be together for. It was fuelled by money and greed, Cassius I ain’t ever took anything from you, you gave me. I never used you, you gave me and said do what I need to do. And I see why, you wanted me away from them” I sniggered “didn’t work though, you came back. Missed the toxic home, I think in a way we all came back. We probably thought that they may have changed, they was never meant to be parents but god gave them kids” they didn’t deserve it “I am sorry Cassius, we never saw them. We went JFK, we landed in JFK and then caught the flight here, Jasmine ain’t shy she would tell you that to your face. I ain’t ever been scared of you, the fear is respect because you are older than me” nodding my head “it’s cool” shuffling towards the living area “I am going to bed” I walked by not stopping because I am tired and I want to be awake for Cartier early, and my mind is numb.

I am in pain with the fucking gun shot wound, I mean the body amour saved me but still, the bruising is so bad. I have just had pain killers so I am going to sleep this off, I should be ok in the morning. With Josiah, I never had issues with him, he was always quiet. It’s like he held it in with things and then with Jordan he was loud as fuck for not reason, and I do believe him. I don’t want him to be depressed either, I am not my father because he would drop him in a heartbeat for money “what happened outside?” Sofia is nosey as shit “nothing, you come up here being nosey huh” looking down at my knuckles, I didn’t know I bruised my knuckles actually “well we had heard crying and that wasn’t you, I know your cries” that was funny I had to laugh “that is deep you know” looking up from my knuckles “it is deep, I know you. You ain’t going to beat his ass?” shaking my head “we all broken people, just that I got help and I got you. I judged, they went JFK because it was a cheaper flight, they wanted it to be cheap, my guy was right but there was no context and I guess I know. I ain’t a bad guy Sofia” she smiled at me “I didn’t say you was, I think you’re hard headed, that is all and so is your son. He is working my last nerve, oh my god!” Sofia gawked at my stomach and stormed over to me “what is this!?” she spat “I know your body Cassius, what!?” she going to say she knows my dick next, I sighed out “it was a fight, I am good. Just sore, I need to sleep it off. All is well yeah?” I ain’t about to tell her it was a gun shot, she will go crazy on me.

I groaned out, I feel like shit right now “Happy Christmas eve Cassius” Sofia kissed my forehead “also wake up, Cartier is awake and I will be making breakfast” I can only imagine how early it is, I feel ill and that is because I was outside in the cold. Wrapping the covers around me “I don’t feel too good” my throat is hurting “baby, Cartier will be sad. He wants you” she is a liar “I will bring him” feeling Sofia leave the bed, the heat from her body left which I needed. I shouldn’t have stood outside like an idiot because I really do feel like shit, feeling my forehead my head is warm too. Cartier don’t want me, Sofia could let me sleep in “you put your pacifier in your mouth and you lay next to your grumpy dad ok” turning onto my back to see Sofia, looking over at Cartier. He held out bubzy with his hand smiling, he brings me so much joy “go on, go to your dad” I can’t feel lazy in bed now, holding my arm out to him as he gathered himself to crawl over to me “I will be downstairs, you can stay up here. Watch TV” nodding my head “cool, hey champ!” he is such a joy.

Pulling my hood up on my hoodie “shall we go and see what momma is making” she ain’t said shit for us to go and eat yet so I just thought I would come down and see what is up, Cartier grabbed the strings from my hoodie “you about to put that in your mouth” I always know when my sister is here, she is in the kitchen. The music blaring and she only cooks if she can listen to music while she does “what is she like” reaching the bottom of the steps, I still ain’t forget that Josiah told me she is fucking with some sugar daddies, who the fuck does that. Sofia is sat on the bar stool, my sister is cooking then. Walking into the kitchen, my sister would be shaking ass and cooking “it’s early” I said but I don’t think she heard me, Sofia took Cartier from me “put in work, put em in the dirt” Jasmine sang along and turned around “you done?” Jasmine laughed “I just started, your plate is with the extra pancake. I remember” she does remember.

Nodding my head at Josiah, he’s just woke up. Josiah held his fist out to me, touching his fist with mine “morning” I am feeling like shit, I am trying to not feel this bad but I can’t help it “morning family!” Amira spat, I need to change my password of my home “fuck me” I know Kyle ain’t here “oh my god, Amira. Girl!” Sofia shot up from her seat, getting up from the table. He got a nerve to be here, picking my plate up “aww shit, Kyle!” Jasmine said, I rather take myself out of the room. Placing my plate in the sink “good seeing you, and you Josiah” watching Kyle, resting against the counter top. Side eyeing Sofia as she walked over to me with plates in hand “you set this up?” lifting myself up a top of the counter top, I winced a little, I be forgetting about that wound “I didn’t actually, why you think I did that. They came to see us” kissing my teeth “he pisses me off, his face does” Sofia looked up at me “y’all chill and I will go upstairs” jumping off the counter “Cassius” Sofia said, taking an orange with me because I need some vitamin in me.

Even though I am feeling ill, I still have it in me to smoke outside. I can’t help myself, I need it sometimes “Cassius, are you in here?” furrowing my eyebrows, that is a voice I didn’t expect. Flicking my cigarette over the balcony “here” walking back into the bedroom “hey, can I come in?” Amira asked “sure, what’s up?” if she’s not dumb she will not speak on that dickhead “I just wanted to ask, I hear you have drugs running through Atlanta now? Supplier?” nodding my head “I have some, I should have said but yeah, that will be going through the club” I didn’t even warn her “ok” she said, things became awkward instantly “look Cassius, Kyle is sorry” rolling my eyes “I heard he was, cool. Look, friends be there for you even when your down. He allowed me to do something I have to live with every day, I can put it on my son that if this was him he wouldn’t even be near at all, no matter how much he fought me” Amira looked at me in sadness “and that night he came home empty handed I said the same thing, I can’t tell you why either. I understand, something you will do in your own time” nodding my head “yep, but you can come here when you like. See my son, I know how much you adore him” she good people.

I decided to sit downstairs with them but obviously because my son is opening his gifts “come here” Sofia waved me over, she got down on the floor slowly with Cartier “let’s open some gifts” she sat him on the floor “aww, he is so confused right now” sitting on the floor next to Sofia “make sure he doesn’t crawl off” Sofia pointed, Cartier is ready to attack all of the things under the tree. Dragging him back “shall we open Auntie Amira and Uncle Kyle gift first, honestly. You both didn’t need too” taking in a deep breath, he really shouldn’t “aye” grabbing Cartier back and decided to keep him with me now, holding him up on his legs “look at mommy, oh wow. You see that baby” his attention is elsewhere now, this is good “oh baby, you got more toys. What am I going to do with this” it’s a toy truck, he going to love that “you going to love that” kissing his cheek, placing Cartier next to the box. He can play with that “what did I say Amira, don’t spoil him. He don’t need it, not with him around” Sofia pointed at me before she ripped open another box from them “awww basketball toy for you. Cassius you going to love this” I actually do “my little basketball player, we going to teach you young” Cartier crawled over to Sofia, god I love this boy so much “you need to say thank you to uncle and auntie son, actually his diaper needs changing. I get why you came to mommy, you ain’t smell that?” shaking my head “men” Sofia rolled her eyes at me, I really didn’t smell anything.

“Cassius! Come upstairs!” Sofia shouted, she is loud as fuck “am I in trouble” getting up from the floor “she seemed very angry” Jasmine said “I know I ain’t done anything” making my way over to the stairs, I know I did nothing wrong so I don’t understand the anger. Jogging up the steps “your son!” Sofia spat, seeing Sofia’ top “you’re wet?” I pointed out “yes, your fucking son peed on me, I mean maybe it’s my fault for the slow reaction but he peed on me” I snorted laughing “oh no, oh my. Did he get your face too?” Sofia side eyed me “yes, just get him out of my face. Take him, that boy hates me” I feel sorry for her “my bad, sorry that my son has great aim” Sofia hit my arm “I hate you, I need a shower. Just deal with him” I chuckled “oh god” I breathed out laughing “Cartier, Cartier, Cartier. What the hell you do!? Momma angry” she has placed him in the crib, she is not happy. Cartier babbled on, seeing Cartier in just his diaper “you done fucked up” shaking my head laughing.

Cartier is hilarious, I can’t stop laughing at him “you done got momma mad son, why you have to pee on her” Cartier knows he’s done bad, he rested his head on my shoulder “well you need to go sleep soon, least you ready for bed now” rubbing his back as I made my way to my bedroom, I know Sofia is so angry because she now needs to have a shower because of it “knock, knock. Momma!” I said aloud, Cartier lifted his head up smiling. I knocked on the door again “momma, Cartier is sorry” opening the door, walking into the room “are you still in the shower!?” I spat, clearly she is I can hear the water running. How long is she about to be, walking over to the bathroom “I am coming out!” she shouted hearing the water turn off “Cartier is sorry” walking into the bathroom “Cassius!” Sofia spat, I mean she is acting like I ain’t seen her naked before “close your eyes son, she mine” placing my hands over his eyes “I cleaned him up, he’s clean and pee free” a slight smiled played on my lips “whatever” looking down at her bump “you know, you look beautiful pregnant” Sofia grinned placing the towel around her body “go away, you’re going to make me shy. Just let me get dressed, put him to sleep. I am angry at him” poor Cartier, he really done did it now.

Shaking Cartier’ bottle “they gone?” I asked Josiah “yeah, they went. You and Kyle not fucking with each other?” shaking my head “he did some shit but anyways, say night to them” walking over to Jasmine first “awww come to auntie” Cartier clung to me “stop being a brat, be nice” he ain’t playing with that “fine! I will kiss you!” Jasmine spat, she kissed his cheek roughly “he is so moody, he will get used to us boy!” smiling at Cartier “he is dada boy, he is like me. My mini me, say night to Josiah” walking over to Josiah “I am happy you both are speaking, we only got each other, you know that Cassius” Cartier let Josiah take him “fuck off!! No way, fuck you! How” Jasmine pointed, Cartier really went to Josiah “I guess he don’t like you Jasmine, you stank” Jasmine looks so offended.