#had no idea until my sibling got it for me for christmas that you use the stylus and the touch screen to use your sword
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
started phantom hourglass and yeah i really don't see how they could put this on nintendo switch online lmao
#had no idea until my sibling got it for me for christmas that you use the stylus and the touch screen to use your sword#did not know until i just started it that you also use it to move#nintendo said we are going all out using this new (at the time) shit#also thought it was hilarious that i had to blow out candles using the mic#lmao#courtney plays zelda#this game is gonna be so quick omg#now i'm super regretting not getting the zelda 3ds case that came with the hylian shield and master sword stylus when i saw it 💔#and now it's out of stock on amazon#it's not even my 3ds tho lmao i'm borrowing it long term from my sibling <3 they are the nicest#but still it would've been so nice to store it in
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Rise of the Fallen Part 1
The thrilling sequel to Icarus and Around the World is finally here!
This universe has decided though, completely without prompting to do a little Christmas story set in this verse. So.... yeah!
Enjoy!
Summary: On the ten anniversary of The Fallen's eponymous debut album, the band decides to do an unmasking. This is the interview with Variety journalist Karla Lopez. SEQUEL TO ICARUS AND AROUND THE WORLD READ THEM FIRST!!!
~
Exclusive Interview with The Fallen Behind the Veil by Variety reporter Karla Lopez.
Karla Lopez: I am deeply honored to be chosen to do this, you have no idea.
Astraeus chuckles: Oh I think we have an idea, yeah.
KL: Why did you decide to do a reveal now? You have all been pretty vocal about not wanting to break persona.
They all look around at each other like they trying to decide who’s going to answer that. Finally Abbadon speaks.
Abbadon: Back when we were first asked about it, Asmodeus said that maybe if we were still here ten years on. This marks the 10th anniversary of our first album, so I guess it just felt right.
KL: Fair enough. There were talks about this being live so you could answer questions from a chat on air. But all of you nixed that. Can you tell me why?
Asmodeus laughs: We all wanted to see the reaction on our friends and family’s faces when they find out who we are.
KL: You have fans among your friends and family?
Abbadon: Oh yeah. It’s funny having to pretend to hate metal so much I won’t go to our concerts.
Astraeus: You have to film yours, man. I have to see his reaction.
Abbadon laughs: Don’t worry, my partner has it on lock.
KL: Someone we’ve been told we can’t talk about until after the reveal.
They all snicker
Azrael: That’s because he’s here and them being a couple is also being revealed today, too.
KL: Awww, that’s so sweet. So this is how the reveal is going to work: each of you will take turns in the hot seat I point to a large red leather armchair off to the side a little and you will take off your mask, tell us your real name and a bit about yourself.
They all nod
KL: So you guys picked the order. Youngest to oldest, right? Again they nod So who’s up first?
Azrael stands up and moves over to the hot seat and sits down. He takes a deep breath and removes his mask. He pushes back his hood. Behind the mask is an unassuming man with blue eyes and wavy blond hair that goes to his shoulders. He’s conventionally handsome but he’s got a bump on the side of his nose where it’s likely been broken.
Azrael: Hi, I’m Spencer Peters, I’m 32 years old with a wife and twin little girls aged four. No she didn’t know I was a drummer for a metal band only that I travel a lot for business. He waves Hi, honey! Shout out to Sweet Pea and Pumpkin. I was an EMT before I met the rest of the band. I had been playing drums since I was ten, but I never thought it would become my job.
KL: Why did you chose the name Azrael?
Azrael: Because I wanted to pick something I wasn’t. As an EMT my job was to save lives. I figured that if I chose the angel of death no one would guess it was me. He huffs a bitter laugh And it fucking worked.
KL: No one in your life even wondered?
He shrugs: If they did, they didn’t tell me. As far as I know, no one in my life put together that my business trips line up with our touring dates.
KL: Do you feel angry about that?
He looks over the other guys and then back at the camera: Sometimes.
Abbadon ducks his head as Azrael (Spencer) stands up and walks back over to the group.
KL: Do you want to talk about that anger?
Abbadon lifts his head: My partner figured it out. Before we got together. It’s partly why we got together. But as far as any of us are aware no one else in our lives have figured it. Not spouses, parents, siblings, close friends. So yeah sometimes it hurts that they don’t know us well enough to guess.
KL: That’s got be hard. How does no one else know? Aren’t there dozens of people milling about after shows?
Asmodeus: Certain people have to know, our agent and our manager. Our chief security; they all sign NDAs but we’re also very quiet about it. We don’t get ready in their dressing rooms unless we have to. And if we do, we have armed guards in front of the door.
Abbadon waves: Shout out to Murray Bauman, though. He guessed I was the frontman for one of the masked bands. Just didn’t care which one. So he’s not on the list of people who knew I was Abbadon, because he didn’t. Until now. He wags his eyebrows.
Azrael: Plus once we’re ourselves again, everyone thinks we’re roadies or PAs or whatever role we can slip into that won’t draw suspicion.
I laugh: I guess I can see how they might make that mistake. Who’s next?
Asmodeus stands up and walks over to the hot seat and sits down. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
Abbadon walks over and puts his arm around his shoulder and they whisper for a couple of moments. Abbadon stands up and moves just enough out of view of the camera but close enough that Asmodeus can still see him.
Abbadon nods and Asmodeus takes off his mask and pushes back his hood. The man’s coal dark eyes are apparently natural as he doesn’t remove any contacts. His hair is as dark as his eyes. He has a square jaw and a sweet smile. Abbadon smiles back encouragingly.
Asmodeus: he waves awkwardly at the camera My name is Simon Olsen. I’m also 32, but older then Spence by two months. I’m the biggest nerd of the group. I play D&D, I’m big sci-fi nerd, huge Trekkie. I was trying to write a sci-fi novel when I met the other guys. It’s not very good. I’m a better guitar player than I am a writer. I started playing when I was sixteen to get girls.
KL: Has it worked?
He laughs: As Simon? No. As Asmodeus, girls are always throwing themselves at me. But I never felt that was genuine so I’ve never indulged. I guess I’m a 32 year old virgin.
He winces and looks up at Abbadon. Whatever he sees there soothes him and he clears his throat.
Asmodeus: Like Spence, I picked Asmodeus because he was the antithesis of me. Someone to drive the girls wild. Cool, confident. I like being him more than me sometimes.
Abbadon holds out his hand just out of frame but Asmodeus stands up and takes it and they both walk back to the group.
KL: Is that something you all feel? That you like being your alter egos over yourselves?
They all glance around at each other.
Azrael (SP): Sometimes. We’re all what people in the 80s called preps. I’m not sure what they would call us now, probably nerds. Polos, chinos, Henleys. Suburban dads, I guess. So our alter egos, our personas if you will aren’t like that. They are so much cooler than us so it’s easier to be them.
KL: Has it been hard keeping the two lives separate?
Astraeus: More than you’ll ever guess. It’s why after a tour we don’t immediately go home we learn how to be regular guys again.
KL: I laugh How does that work?
Abbadon: Military grade specialists.
I laugh again but they don’t laugh with me: Wait, you’re serious?
They nod
Asmodeus (SO): They have these people that teach incoming soldiers how to turn off being soldiers and be people again. They’re kinda like that. Not exactly but close enough. Our head of security heads this up. He’s really fucking good.
Abbadon: I was the reason for this, by the way. My persona is so unlike my real life that there was actual talk about me being cursed. Our manager helped me that one time, because she knew me before I went on tour, but it was clear it wasn’t perfect. So she found a couple of people that would be willing to help us get in and out of character before and after our tours. It’s been a real life saver for sure.
Astraeus: And believe me, I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous. But it’s really helped us out.
KL: Who’s next?
Astraeus stands up and makes his way over to the hot seat and curls up on it like a large house cat. It’s a jarring affect to see the large bassist tuck his legs under him like a teenage girl about share secrets with her bestie.
He takes of the mask and drops the hood. He runs his fingers through a riot of tight red curls. His face is freckled and his has a gap-toothed, goofy smile.
Astraeus: Hey guys! My name is Shane Kendrick, I’m 33 and me and Abbadon have the same birthday, year and everything. I’d call us twinsies, but he already had a soul twin in the form of our manager, and you so don’t want to get into the middle of that!
Abbadon, their manager, and Abbadon’s partner all burst out laughing. Astraeus winks at Abbadon.
I am starting to see a pattern and it’s making me a little upset if I’m honest.
Astraeus: I tease, I tease. They’re super cute. I chose the name Astraeus because there aren’t that many night gods, lots of goddesses, but not whole of gods. But I am a huge mythology nerd. In fact I helped everyone come up with their names. I chose Astraeus because he’s not a god of night, he’s the titan of night and that sounded way more metal than just a god.
I was actually studying to become a history teacher for the middle school grade when I met the rest of the band.
KL: Where did you guys meet?
Astraeus (SK): Abbadon was working at a little cafe where the three of us would come in for coffee. Me and Simon would spend hours there. Him doing his writing and me doing my homework. Spence would come in after his shift and just sit in a corner to decompress.
KL: How did you guys become friends?
They all laugh
Astraeus (SK): Abbadon was playing Corroded Coffin on their speakers. First cafe I’d ever been to where they didn’t play some new age shit.
There is a choked off laugh from Abbadon’s partner and Abbadon ducks his head. I’m sure if the mask was off, we’d see him blush.
KL: You bonded over Corroded Coffin?
Astraeus (SK): Yeah, I told him I had a crush on the drummer and he told me that he had gone to high school with them.
My jaw drops: Wait? Really?
Abbadon nods: All Hawkins High alums. Almost all different years though, too. Eddie was ahead of me, Jeff and Brian were below me one year and Gareth was two years below me.
KL: Wow!
Astraeus gets up and swaps with Abbadon. They give each other five as they pass as if they they are tagging the one out and the other in.
~
Part 2
Tag list: CLOSED
1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @chameleonhair
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence
3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006
4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten
5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt
6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay
7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars
8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec
9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology
10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @clockworkballerina @eyehartart
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#rockstar steve harrington#rockstar eddie munson#rockstar au
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
alone on christmas ~ billy butcher;the boys
word count: 2253
request?: no
description: in which the two members of the team who are alone on christmas eve decide to spend the night together
pairing: billy butcher x female!reader
warnings: swearing
masterlist (one, two, three)
The elevator dinged, signaling that you had arrived on the floor of your office. Well, "office" was a generous word. It was a small, open space in a super old building (MM claimed it was "historic") with a couple of desks that were rarely used. The room was dimly lit by the multi-colored Christmas lights strung around the room, as well as from the small tree in the corner of the room. Kimiko had gotten the idea to decorate the office and everyone else was on board, even grumpy Billy Butcher.
It was Christmas Eve and everyone else was home with their families. Your families lived a state over, and normally you would've gone home for the holidays, but your parents had gone on a Christmas cruise and agreed to do your celebrations when they got home. Since you had no one else to celebrate Christmas with, you decided to pick up some paperwork you had at the office and work on it at home while some Christmas movie played in the background.
You approached your desk, unaware of anyone else in the room until a voice said, "Evening, love."
"Jesus!" you hissed as you jumped.
Butcher chuckled. "Nope, just me."
He was sat at his desk, mostly covered in darkness. You could only make out the outline of him through the Christmas lights.
"What the hell are you doing sitting here in the dark like a fucking creep?" you asked as you turned back to flick on the lights. The two of you winced as the dark room suddenly became very bright.
"I was just finishing up some work and liked the mood lighting better," he explained. "What are you doin' here on Christmas Eve?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I don't celebrate Christmas anymore. Not since..." He trailed off, his eyes dropping back to whatever he had been working on. "Just not in a long time."
He didn't have to specify. You knew exactlu what made him give up on Christmas.
"You didn't answer my question," he pointed out.
"My parents are gone on a cruise for Christmas, so I won't be going home till sometime around New Years. I came to get something I was working on to finish it at home."
"You're not celebrating with anyone else?"
"Who else would I celebrate with? My siblings have their own families, and the only friends I have are you cunts."
This earned a low chuckle from Butcher. You couldn't help but smile. You returned to your desk to collect the papers when a thought crossed your mind.
"Hey Butcher?" he looked up at you. "Do you want to come over? Maybe we could have our own Christmas Eve celebration."
He raised an eyebrow at you. "What did you have in mind?"
You shrugged. "I don't know. I could make us something to eat. Pour up a few drinks. Watch a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie."
You weren't sure if he'd agree. It didn't seem like his scene. Butcher was probably the exact opposite of holiday cheer. Sitting in a dark office doing paperwork about taking down Supes was probably a much more appealing offer to him than Hallmark Christmas movies. But you wouldn't feel right if you didn't at least offer. Billy Butcher may have been a cynical prick that got on everyone's nerves, but no one deserved to spend Christmas alone.
To your surprise, he closed up the file he had been working on and stood. "Text me the address, I'll meet you there."
About ten minutes later, you were pulling into your driveway while Butcher was parking on the side of the road. He followed you up to your door and stepped inside as you opened it for him. He looked around, taking in your space as you kicked off your boots and hung up your coat.
"What are you feeling for drinks?" you asked.
"Do you have any bourbon?" he asked.
You opened your fridge and pulled out a full bottle of bourbon. "Want it straight or mixed with some eggnog?"
He made a face of disgust that made you laugh. You grabbed a glass and poured him a glass of straight bourbon, adding a few ice cubes before passing him the glass. You opted for the spiked eggnog approach for something a little more festive. You pulled a frozen pizza from the freezer and pre-heated the oven.
"Not exactly a Christmas feast," Butcher commented.
"If you're going to be ungrateful, you can go back to the office by yourself," you retorted. "Oh, since you're here, I do have a gift for you."
He watched as you walked to your living room where your tree was shining with yellow lights. The presents underneath were mainly for your family, but you had gotten a gift for each member of The Boys too, since they were like your second family.
"You didn't have to get me anything," he said.
"Shut the fuck up and take the gift," you teased, thrusting the gift bag into his hands.
He shook his head, playfully smiling. He sat down on the ouch and you sat next to him. He pulled the tissue paper from the bag and discarded it onto the floor. You would've been a little annoyed if you weren't waiting to see his reaction to the gift.
The first thing he pulled out was a Spice Girls CD. You couldn't hold back your giggles as he gave you a dirty look. "Your favorite band."
"This is the worst insult you could've ever given me," he said.
"There's something else in there that might make it up to you."
Butcher pulled out a bundle of white tissue paper. Wrapped in it was an ornament you had gotten custom made. It was a gingerbread wearing a black trench coat and black boots, and had a black beard on its face. He held it in his hand for a while. You studied his face, trying to gauge some reaction to the gift.
"You're kind of an enigma," you explained. "And I guess I understand why, but it makes it incredibly impossible to buy you a Christmas gift. So I went with the Spice Girls CD as a gag gift, and then I found this lady who makes custom made Christmas ornaments that are gingerbread men made to look like certain people. I thought it was better than nothing."
"You had this made for me?" he asked. "That must've cost ya a fortune."
"It doesn't matter what it cost."
He was still holding it, looking at it. When he looked up at you, you were captured by his eyes. There was something warm bubbling inside of you. You figured it was the eggnog, but a little voice in the back of your head whispered that it wasn't.
"It's very thoughtful," Butcher said. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Merry Christmas, Butcher."
You were so close to him. You hadn't noticed just how close you were sitting. Your noses were inches away from touching.
And then the pre-heat on the oven went off.
You quickly got up to go put the pizza in the oven. You stood in the kitchen afterwards, trying to talk yourself down from whatever just happened. You were sure it was just the alcohol mixed with the holiday feelings. There was no way you were getting all fuzzy and lightheaded for Billy Butcher of all people. Not that you had any ill feelings towards Butcher. He could be an annoying asshole that pushed your patience levels, but you didn't hate him by any means. On the other hand, you didn't think you could've had those kind of feelings for him. He was your team leader and that was it.
But he was also very handsome. In a rugged type of way anyways. You couldn't deny that.
You shook your head, trying to get rid of all those thoughts. You went to the fridge to pour up another drink.
Once the pizza was ready, you brought the pan to your living room and placed it on the coffee table with a dish towel under it, and two plates along the side for both of you. You topped up Butcher's drink before sitting next to him.
"Let me guess, your favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard?" you asked.
He chuckled. "And you said I'm an enigma."
"Not so much so that I'd think you would want to watch cheesy Christmas movies."
"Eh, don't write me off from all Christmas movies. I would love watching National Lampoons Christmas Vacation every year."
"Okay, we're starting with that one then. That is a classic."
You turned on the movie and settled into the couch. You pulled a fuzzy blanket over your lap and started eating away at the pizza. You initially started on separate ends of the couch, but you found yourself inching closer to Butcher. First it was offering him some of the blanket. He agreed and you shuffled close enough that he could throw a corner of it over his lap. Then it was him reaching for a slice of pizza, scooting a little closer because he "couldn't reach the food" (his words). At one point, you both just shifted closer for no reason at all. When Butcher put his arm along the back of the couch, you leaned into him.
It almost felt normal; cuddled up on the couch, laughing at the hijinks of the Griswold family during Christmas, the only thing lighting the room being the Christmas tree. This is what you imagined Christmas would be like if you were actually in a relationship, not just tipsy and getting a little too close to your team leader.
"See, this movie just cements why I am okay with not celebrating Christmas," Butcher commented. "All the bullshit with family stressing you out and annoying the living shit out of ya. I don't know why anyone ever puts up with it."
"Because despite the chaos, it's time together with family," you said. "Most people love time together with family, even if sometimes family members know how to get on your last nerve."
Butcher shook his head. "Not me. Even when Becca was around, her family..."
He trailed off. You lifted your head to look at him. You couldn't read the expression on his face, so you couldn't tell if mentioning Becca had hit a nerve for him, or if he regretted bringing her up given your current...closeness.
"You can talk about her you know," you told him. "If you feel up to it, I mean. I know it's hard."
"It's easier now that I finally have a definitive answer," he said. "I went years not knowing if I should believe that she was alive or dead. It's fucked up to say, but knowing now that she's gone is a bit of closure for me at least."
"And you still have Ryan," you added. "Even if he's the spawn of Supe Satan himself, that kid is still a part of Becca."
"Thank God he's more like his mother than his father."
"You have us too," you said, playfully nudging his shoulder to try and lighten the mood. "The Boys, I mean. We're like a family now."
He chuckled. "That doesn't exactly help with your point. You lot annoy the fuck out of me too."
"And you annoy the fuck out of us, so we're all even then."
He turned to look at you, finally smiling again. You smiled back at him. There was a brief pause before suddenly he was leaning forward to press his lips against yours. It took you by surprise, but it didn't take long for your muddled brain to have you moving in response, kissing him back.
He pulled away just as quickly as he had moved in. "Sorry. That was, uh...I shouldn't have done that."
Instead of saying anything, you leaned in to kiss him again. He was receptive, which told you he didn't actually regret kissing you first. He gently cupped your face while you wrapped your arms around his neck. The blanket fell to the floor as you sat up on your knees to try and deepen the kiss.
"Whoa, slow down," Butcher said, pulling away slightly but still resting his head against yours. "You've had a few drinks."
"I'm fine," you responded, although you were now more aware of the fact that the lightheadedness you were feeling was from more than just the kiss.
"Either way, I'm not pushing things further when you're not sober," he said.
"Will you stay the night?" you asked him. "I have a guest bedroom...or you can stay in my bed."
He chuckled and kissed your forehead, pulling you in so you were cuddled up against his side again. "I have a feeling if I sleep in your bed I will have a harder time restraining myself."
"Maybe that's my plan."
He shook his head, a smile on his face. "I'll stay the night. If this is how you're feeling in the morning, we can try again then."
Your whole body felt like it was on fire just from his words. You weren't sure how you were going to be able to wait another 12 hours for him to make good on his promise. You appreciated him respecting you enough to wait till you were sober, but also you wished he wouldn't be so respectful.
"Merry Christmas, Billy," you said.
He kissed you on top of your head and said, "Merry Christmas, love."
#billy butcher#billy butcher imagine#billy butcher x reader#karl urban#karl urban x reader#karl urban imagine#the boys#the boys imagine#imagine#one shot#fanfiction#fanfic#fandom#christmas#christmas imagine
389 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello i have a request for an idea i literally cannot get out of my head: jamie and a partner who is really into knitting/crocheting and they knit him something as a gift and the fluffiness that ensues xxx
this was a v cute ask!! Here you go!
glitter on the floor
Knitting is a luxury, something you only do when you have a good chunk of time set aside. You’ll pull out a project while watching a movie and each time without fail, Jamie Tartt will give you puppy dog eyes and ask, “Is that for me?”
It never is.
That’s because you’ve been working on something for him for Christmas, and you’re pretty sure it’s your best work yet.
You and Jamie are planning on having a tiny Christmas celebration, just the two of you, before he’s off to Manchester and you’re on a plane to your parents. You’re going to put on matching pajamas and sit by the Christmas tree and eat a shit-ton of snacks, because you’re both adults who can do what you want, and what you want to do is gorge yourselves on everything you definitely shouldn’t have.
So here you are, a week before Christmas, all cozy at home exchanging gifts and giggling about what comes after presents, which may may not be a variation of sexy Christmas that you stole from Keeley.
“Open this one next,” you say, handing Jamie a particularly interesting package.
You’re grinning, but there’s something sinister in your eyes. Jamie’s not sure what to make of it because it’s Christmas, or at least it almost is, so why are you looking at him like a cat that just ate the family goldfish?
He hesitantly takes the proffered package, perfectly wrapped in forest green with a bright white bow. He unwraps it carefully, sets the ribbon aside, and opens a box to reveal-
A sweater.
He exhales a little. Oh good, it’s just a sweater. But your eyes are still gleaming so he’s sure there’s more to it, especially because you’re practically vibrating from the effort of keeping yourself from laughing.
Jamie pulls the sweater from the box and it unfolds, revealing the fact that it is a couple sizes too large for him. But you’ve obviously made it so he’s going to like it anyway.
“Turn it around,” you say before he can give you his appreciation. Jamie complies, to reveal words stitched to the front in flowing script.
this is our Get Along sweater
“Ask me what it’s for,” you command gleefully and Jamie’s pretty sure he’s never seen you this silly, so he bites.
“Alright, what the fuck is this for?” he asks, matching your grin.
You have to bite back a laugh. “Ok so remember how we talked about you being an only child? But I had siblings and our parents had to figure out creative ways to discipline us? One of the ways was a ‘get-along’ shirt. The two of us who were fighting had to wear the same shirt until we got over it. Sometimes it took like three or four hours. And one time, my mom managed to get three of us in one. It was hilarious.”
“Sounds like,” says Jamie. “Doubt you were in it very often. So is this for you and me, then?”
You sniff. “As if. Putting on clothes never solves our arguments. It’s for you and Roy.”
The words are barely out of your mouth before Jamie’s saying, “Fucking hell,” and you’re in stitches.
“I already told Ted about it,” you manage to gasp out. “I’m really only showing it to you right now, because I’m dropping it off at Nelson Road as soon as the holiday is over.”
“Christ,” is all Jamie can come up with. His only consolation is that he can’t imagine how Ted could force him and Roy into this sweater. He might be more susceptible to caving, but Roy? No way.
(In this moment, Jamie overlooks Roy’s fondness for you, as well as Ted’s extreme stubbornness when it comes to enforcing new policies he just made up.)
Ted sends you a photo of the sweater in action a week after they return.
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt#ted lasso
348 notes
·
View notes
Text
no matter what i do ↠ txt
now playing: 0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You) • TXT
Two years after an end-all argument with Taehyun, you’re forced to spend Christmas weekend together at your mother’s, and his father’s. Once upon a time he meant the world to you. Now that you’re both married with kids, things are getting messy, and a little blurry. The longer you stick around in the home you both grew up in, the more secrets come out… It’s always been messy, it was always blurry. All you want, all you truly yearn for, is to get back on good terms with Taehyun.
word count↠ 33,944
warnings↠ MDNI. 18+. no graphic depictions of sex but it is heavily implied, drug use, teenage drug use, alcohol abuse, angst amongst taehyun and reader, insinuation that someone will s/a reader (briefly, not described), teenage pregnancy (age nineteen), step-cest before they are officially step siblings (growing up together in same house, not step-sibs until they are full adults), infidelity, not so fabulous parents, neglectful mother, biting at some point if you squint, crying, lots of crying, many many sex insinuations (not graphic)… if i missed anything PLEASE tell me.
a/n↠ i put my BACK into this one, i feel pretty proud of this. this may be extremely taboo to some people. this topic is frowned upon by most. if you don’t like it, simply scroll by, thank you. the idea sparked in my head, and i couldn’t let it go. to those of you intrigued, to those of you who end up reading- thank you. 🫶
posted↠ 12/20/23 ~ 12 a.m. est
White crystal snowflakes whirled through the brisk air, the wind nipping at your cheeks as you struggled with the car seat buckle for the third time this week. The toddler you were strapping in had her hand stretched out of the van door, trying to catch a snowflake filled with wonder as to why she couldn’t hold one in her warm mittens.
“No-flake, Mama,” she mumbled to you. “No-flake!”
“The snowflakes are so pretty, just like you, Mina,” you smiled at her, adjusting the straps over her shoulders, hoping to ease your struggle.
Behind you, the front door to your two story home flung open and slammed shut, the scuffle of snow boots plowing down the porch stairs followed. Equally shrill, loud mouthed shouts filled the quiet winter air.
“Boys, don’t jump in the-“
Glancing over your shoulder, it was too late. Your twin boys, Chan and Sunoo, were knee deep in the snowdrifts on top of the gardens that lined along the porch. Dark hair and matching brown eyes grinned maniacally at you.
“You both need to get in the car, we’re gonna be late!”
Mina shoved a mitten in her mouth, biting down on the fabric with her tiny teeth ripping it off of her hand. While you watched Sunoo and Chan trudge through the snow, each one trying to shove the other to the ground as they raced to the van, your two year old threw her mitten to the ground. And then the other one, with a shriek.
“I’m right here,” you soothed, turning back to your daughter with a sigh. “Meens, it’s cold baby,” you crouched to pick the little pink mittens up off the ground, “you have to wear these.”
“No wear,” she frowned, her eyebrows sinking over the eyes she shared with her father. She puffed out her pouty cheeks, becoming the carbon copy of him. Out of all of your kids, Mina looked the most like him.
“Yes, wear,” you said, reaching for one of her hands that both shot up into the air in an instant. Her bottom lip crinkled, and you withheld the groan you ever so wished to release from the depths of your being.
Christmas was supposed to get easier as the kids got older, not harder. All morning you had been arguing over clothes and trying to contain your chaotic twin five year olds to their bedroom just so you could brush their hair. Mina kicked you in the chin on accident while you were putting on her boots amidst an hour-long meltdown because she had barely slept the night before, which usually meant she was getting sick- another glorious thing to deal with while you traveled for the weekend.
Sunoo wanted to put on his pants himself, getting the fabric stuck in the zipper, and Chan insisted on helping him fix it. By the time you were back in their bedroom after Mina nearly knocked you out, the pants were ripped and Sunoo had to change his entire outfit, which meant the boys weren’t matching anymore. Meltdown number two. From the brother of a boy with ripped pants who’s favorite thing was getting to match with his twin.
Mina was set free to roam around the house, clunking around in her boots looking for her father, and you squeezed Sunoo into his outfit from last Christmas Eve, mentally preparing yourself to hear sly comments from your mother all weekend wondering why he wasn’t in the new clothes she bought him, and ‘those pants are way too short, dear, do you need me to go shopping with you?’.
The one thing, the one amazing, thoughtful thing that took some of the weight off of your shoulders was your husband taking care of the youngest of your crew, Wonwoo. A tiny, calm, beautiful six month old surprise you all only found out about ten months ago.
Mina had just turned two, the boys were about to graduate Pre-K, and you had run out of bedrooms. With four months to prepare for a new baby, your husband stepped up, with the help of his friend Kai, and converted half of the basement playroom into a bedroom for the twins, one they could grow into throughout the years. Mina moved into the boy's old room, painted purple by her father, and Wonwoo got his own room right next door to his sister.
You would put up with the boys, “Just because we’re twins means we don’t get our own rooms?!”, argument later. That was a problem for future you. Not the current you fighting with your two year old over mittens, dodging snowballs your five year olds were throwing at one another.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my fucking god,” you muttered under your breath, knowing your curses couldn’t be heard over the boys shouts or Mina’s wailing. “Boys, in the car now!” One mitten wrestled onto Mina’s right hand. The twins didn’t hear you, or they ignored you. “Boys!” A snowball hit the ground by your feet. Two mittens on, and one seatbelt successfully buckled.
Ready to hoof it through the snow to put a twin on each hip, they were still small enough to do so, the front door shut followed by the jingling of keys as it was locked making both boys freeze in their boots.
Shooting you a look of reassurance before eyeing the boys, your husband, with a baby carrier in one hand and keys in the other, carefully started down the stairs. His smooth black hair that usually hung over his eyes was parted to the side, resting on top of his thin rimmed glasses that he pushed up his nose with his knuckle. A jean jacket not nearly warm enough for this weather hugged his stretch of a frame, hiding a white button up beneath it, the top two buttons undone with nothing under it.
It was a wonder why Wonwoo was such a surprise, your husband’s been a babe since the day you met. Fatherhood didn’t change him the slightest, if anything it made you want him more.
“Soobin,” you said through your teeth, placing your hands on top of your head. “I’m gonna lose my mind.”
Speaking quietly as he came closer, you didn’t need your children hearing your moment of despair. They were all being a nuisance, but it was reasonable. The twins were excited, it was Christmas and they were about to spend the weekend with their family they rarely got to see, and Mina was getting sick. Not only that, Mina was two years old and still learning how to properly express the way she was feeling, still learning what emotions even were. Those words were bound to come out of Soobin at some point.
“You’re doing great,” Soobin said, handing you the carrier with your youngest snoozing away inside, bundled up in a bear onesie with ears on the hood, covered up with a fuzzy blanket to keep him warm and to make sure the seat buckles were on him securely. “Put him in his seat, I got tweedledee and tweedledum.” He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek as you giggled.
Since their father had stepped out of the house both Chan and Sunoo were attentive, one eye on Soobin and one eye on each other. They still made snowballs, but were hesitant to throw them.
Circling around the trunk of the van, taking a peek inside to make sure everyone's bags were there, you watched as Soobin put his hands on his hips, and asked the boys nicely why they weren’t listening to you. The snowballs fell from their gloved fingers and they both shrugged.
“Your mother has been taking care of your sister all morning,” he began, the boys looking up to him with wide eyes. “You know Mina can’t do the things that you can do yet, she still needs a lot of help. I’m so proud of you both for getting dressed on your own and helping each other, but now it’s time to help Mom, okay?”
Setting Wonwoo in his place, making sure everything was properly locked, twice, you tried to not let the twins' attentiveness to their father get you down. It seemed no matter what you did, no matter how you spoke to them, they chose to always, always, listen to Soobin.
Two tiny heads nodded, and two tiny voices spoke at once. “Okay, dad.”
“You’re excited it’s Christmas?” Soobin asked the boys, and they nodded again, faster this time. “Me too! You’re excited to see your cousins?” The boys smiled and nodded, starting to walk toward the car. “Me too, you know we haven’t seen your Uncle Taehyun in forever.”
Your step brother's name made you fumble, bumping the handle of Wonwoo’s carrier, making him stir. “No, no, no.” You whispered, freezing, saying a silent prayer that he wouldn’t wake.
Chan and Sunoo reached Soobin, both boys reaching up for him, tugging on his clothes in some way. “I can't pick you up right now, you decided to play in the snow and now you’re all wet.” Two pouty five year olds gazed up at him, big, round, sappy eyes. Mina may be his twin, but they all shared the same pouty face. You weren’t sure when the twins mastered it. “You made your decision. Now you have to climb over Mina to get in your seats because your brother is asleep.”
“She will kick us!” Chan nearly shouted, looking up to his father in shock. Sunoo’s glance exchanged between Soobin and his brother, anxious to see what he would say, because you all knew for a fact, that Mina wouldn’t hesitate to kick them.
The toddler had calmed her crying to watch her brothers, gnawing on one of the mittens you stuck back on her hands. Her tear stained cheeks perked up when she heard Soobin say her name. Either that, or she was proud that she already had a reputation at the ripe age of two.
“Mina won’t kick you,” you said, sliding the van door shut on Wonwoo’s side, walking around it to stand beside your husband. Gripping the handle of the passenger door, you raise a brow to Soobin and smirk. “We’re gonna be late, Soob. I’m already dreading seeing my family, I’d like to not pile on to the shit my mother has to say about me.”
“You said a bad word!” Sunoo gasped, pointing at you. Chan started to laugh. Soobin sighed.
“You said a bad word,” he said, completely serious.
Your husband was a lot of things. For starters he was stunning, he knew how to dress, he was an incredible caring man, an amazing father, and a beast in the sheets. Underneath all the dreamy qualities you were still in shock you secured nine years ago, he was an insufferably proper prude. Not that you’d ever tell him that to his face, though you’ve hinted at it just to tease him. He was a gentleman, and he was raising the boys to be the same. He’d be damned if his boys ended up like half of the jerks he grew up with or encountered in his lifetime. Your husband didn’t curse, he spoke with intention, and always thought through everything carefully, sometimes too much.
Nine years together, five and a half years married, he hasn’t seemed to completely rub off on you yet. The two of you were utter opposites, anyone with eyes could see that. Anyone who knew you nine years ago could tell you that.
You and Soobin? You… With Soobin.
You, the loud mouthed, hot headed, class skipper who had detention every other week, with straight edged, outstanding GPA, respectable Soobin. Opposites attract, you assumed. Though you’d be lying if you said the beginning of your relationship wasn’t an excuse to escape the life you used to live. You were in love, you created a beautiful family, and you lived a happy life… An hour and a half away from the family you used to know.
Turning your attention down to the twins, you smiled. “I’m sorry I said a bad word. I’m a little frustrated.”
“But, that’s not an excuse,” Soobin raised his brows, looking from you to the boys. Taking a deep breath, choking back a sigh, you nodded.
“No. It’s not,” you grit your teeth. “I shouldn’t have said that word. I’m sorry.”
Soobin smiled at you. “Into the car boys, if Mina kicks you I don’t think I blame her.” He flashed you a wink as you got into your seat. Now that was more your parenting style, though you understood and appreciated Soobins. You were raised differently, you were still unlearning a lot of things, and it got a little easier with each child that came out of you.
Once the boys were in their seats and buckled after Mina did try to kick them as they climbed over her, your family was on the road, forty five minutes later than you originally planned. Between Sunoo’s outfit mishap, and now being late, you mentally prepared yourself to be berated by your mother. With Soobin by your side it’d be a little bit easier to take. Your stepfather always had your back too, telling your mother to back off if she ever started to lay it on too thick. The one who always took the brunt of it though, the one who seemed to make it disappear, was Taehyun.
Since the start, since your two families blended together, he’d stick up for you no matter the consequence. When it came to school, the two of you in the same grade, inseparable since middle school, if the two of you were caught in trouble he’d take full blame. Of course that only worked until high school when you started to get into trouble on your own, but even then Taehyun would step in front of you at home, getting the worst of the punishment.
It’d been two years since you’d last seen Taehyun. Two summers ago at his eldest daughter's tenth birthday party in his backyard, an hour and a half away in the opposite direction of you. You were the halfway point between him and your parents.
You were both thirty, you were both married, you had three year old twins and a newborn Mina, and he had his freshly ten year old daughter and seven year old son.
His wife, Sana, waltzed around the backyard dressed to the nines with a glass of wine in one hand and her cell phone in the other, showing off her assets to anyone who cared to listen. The woman was a year younger than you both. Her hair, black as night, was pin straight down her slender back exposed by the deep purple low cut dress she had chosen to wear. Around her neck was a diamond necklace she would brag about, how grateful she was that her husband worked so hard to buy it for her, along with the gaudy wedding ring sitting on her left finger.
Their daughter, Rosie, a mini Sana, had clearly been dressed by her mother that morning. You can remember how many times Soobin mumbled, “If Mina ever…” angrily to you, offended that his sister-in-law would allow her daughter to dress that way at ten years of age. The second he brought your step brother into the mix, you shut your husband right down.
Taehyun wasn’t seen with Sana the entire party. He was with his boy, Minho, enjoying what seemed like a very expensive day you were certain he dropped every penny for.
Taking care of Mina while Soobin watched over the twins running around the colorful water sprinklers, you were able to catch Taehyun’s ear only momentarily. A conversation that shoved a knife through your heart, even now if you thought about it for too long.
He was tired, Taehyun. Even though you were the one with a sleeping newborn slung over your shoulder in a dark, quiet hallway of his home. You could see it in his eyes that were once full of life beneath his messy dark hair. He wasn’t the man you knew anymore, and the weighted words you threw at each other when you were twenty came back to haunt you. Both of you.
Twenty was when everything changed. Taehyun got Sana pregnant. To which you begged him to not go through with, knowing what type of girl Sana was, even at nineteen years old. It was an accident, he once called it. Until the accident’s tenth birthday, where he nearly spat at your feet and admitted he did it on purpose.
He knocked Sana up on purpose to get away from you, to erase the past you shared, to which you sneered that that’s the very reason you wound up with Soobin. To get away from him, to erase the past you shared. The hurt that drowned his tired eyes was something you’d never be able to unsee.
Your sharp, hushed, venom laced voices were cut off by your husbands calling up to you from the bottom of Taehyun's carpeted stairs. With two hands on the banisters, Soobin had daggers for eyes, directing them only at Taehyun who you didn’t realize almost had you caged to the wall, the two of you entirely too close considering you had a baby across your chest. Soobin’s baby.
The end played out in your mind, regretting everything that had happened the moment you had collected your boys and gotten into the car. After Taehyun handed over two letters addressed to your twins, you hadn’t spoken since that moment.
Soobin’s hand slid over the soft, flowing fabric of your pants, bringing you back to present time. The twins were babbling away to one another in the third row, Mina was humming to herself, and Wonwoo was still sound asleep. Looking over at your husband, you find him glancing at you ever so often with a soft smile on his lips.
“You alright?” he asked. Grabbing his hand, you laced your fingers together and took a breath.
“Yeah,” you said, half convincing. “Just… tired. Between nursing Wonwoo and Mina fighting sleep last night, I just…”
“Right,” Soobin said, focused on the snowy road ahead. You’ve been on the road for about twenty minutes already. “Why don’t you rest until we get there?” Dragging a thumb over the back of his hand, you shrugged. Much like the needs of your children last night, your racing thoughts and pounding heart weren’t exactly going to soothe you to sleep.
Soobin lowered his brows, along with his voice. “What else is bothering you?” Though he could probably take a wild guess. Hesitating, you made your husband chuckle. “It’s going to be fine. When I talked to your mom she said he was excited to see everyone.”
“He was lying,” you whispered.
“You don’t know that,” Soobin said.
“Yes, I do.”
Pulling up to a red light, Soobin let go of your hand and touched the bottom of your chin, turning you so you would look at him. “It’s been two years. You’re thirty-two, and so is he. He’s your brother, surely you guys can use this weekend to make up and end this sibling tiff.”
The light turned green and he grabbed your hand again, his attention on the street and keeping his family safe on the hazardous roads.
Toying with his fingers, you mumbled, “He’s not my brother,” and ignored Soobin’s eyeroll and the way he pulled his hand away from you to grip the steering wheel.
“I’d also love to go this weekend without any of that,” he said, voice low.
With a heavy exhale, you twisted yourself nearly sideways to face him. “Don’t do that.”
He shot you a glare. “Don’t disappear on me.”
“Soobin.”
“I’m serious,” he said. “There’s four kids back there now, baby- Ugh, babe- Love, Jesus Christ.” Your bottom lip escaped between your teeth. Soobin shook his head. “Maybe since you’re fighting he won’t call you that. One less thing to worry about.”
Your relationship with Taehyun was a rocky path that Soobin somehow understood since day one. At the start of your relationship and up until Rosie’s tenth birthday, Soobin had never been too fond of him, knowing that Taehyun was ‘one of the jerk’s’ he didn’t want his sons becoming. At this point in your life, you’re saddened you’d have to agree.
The house you grew up in was nothing short of spectacular. Two stories high with staircases on each end of the house, it was a classically built home that your mother and step father took excellent care of. Half of the outside of the home was grey stone, while the other half, sunken back a bit, was a wash of sky blue. The driveway was grand and stretched up the blue side of the house to two chestnut brown garage doors, and from the paved driveway a sidewalk lined with gardens wound up the lawn to the front door that matched the garage.
Everything was covered in snow, making the house draped in twinkling white Christmas lights appear like it was on the cover of a magazine. From the bay window on the stone side of the house you could see the Christmas tree all lit up, wrapped in silver garland with an ornament on each branch. Every Christmas was the same. Dazzling lights outside, a show stopping display of a tree, and an anxiety attack that one of your kids would break a decoration around each corner of the house. It was like your mother forgot what it was like to have toddlers, they were worse than cats, they touched anything and everything.
Pulling into the shoveled driveway, the snow was still coming down and had worsened on the drive, both you and Soobin peeked behind you at the quiet car as soon as it was in park.
Mina, out. Wonwoo, out. Chan, out. Sunoo, sitting with his hands in his lap, smiling at his parents.
“Hi honey,” you cooed. “Thought you were asleep like everyone else.” Soobin laughed.
“What’s up, bud,” he said. “You’ve been pretty quiet. You didn’t want to talk to mom and dad?”
Sunoo shrugged, his smile still puffing out his cheeks. “I was just watching.” The five year old gestured out the window with one hand before slapping it on top of his other one, gazing out at the snow.
You and Soobin shared a look of adoration. “Just watching,” you both said at the same time with a soft laugh.
“Do you wanna wake up Chan, or do you want Daddy to do it?”
Sunoo glanced at his snoozing brother and his crooked neck, then shrugged again. “Will he be cranky if I wake him up?”
Soobin bit back another laugh. “He’s always cranky,” he mumbled for only you to hear, then said to his son, “Wake him up and tell him he has to help me bring in our things. So do you.”
“Okay, Daddy,” Sunoo said, reaching over as far as he could in his carseat to tap his brother's arm that dangled off the side.
Looking at Soobin, you nodded. “I got the babies. Why don’t you come say hi first, then we can all come back out here for everything else once my mom has hold of Meens?”
“She’s going to pass her off to Jin, you really think she’s going to let Wonwoo stay asleep?” Soobin smirked. He glanced past you out the window and took a breath. “Taehyun’s here, he can hold the baby. He hasn’t met him yet.”
Peeking out the window, the old, black Jeep Wrangler littered with different stickers made your stomach sink to your knees. He’s driven that thing since he got his license. When you met Soobin’s gaze you could tell he was serious.
“Yeah,” you nodded, taking note of Chan in the back of the van who was rubbing his eyes vigorously. “He can hold him.”
Soobin reached across your seat, touching beneath your chin like he once did about an hour ago. “Listen,” he said softly, dragging a thumb over your cheek. “We’re going to have a good weekend. I promise. It’s Wonwoo’s first Christmas,” he dropped his voice to a whisper for a second, “The boys are getting their first bikes,” you both smiled, “And you and Taehyun… You’re going to make things right. It’s time to make things right. To… move on.”
“Don’t make it sound weird,” you muttered. Soobin perked a brow. “No, come on,” you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut. Your husband laughed, then leaned forward to give you a kiss.
Both Sunoo and Chan shrieked, “EWE!”
“I love you, you weirdo,” Soobin smiled. Mina stirred behind you, catching his attention for a second. Grabbing onto his hand you pressed a kiss to his fingers and sighed.
“I love you too, Soob, so much.”
His smile grew. “I know.”
Within minutes your entire crew was up the winding sidewalk, taking your sweet, sweet time because the kids found the lights so interesting. Mina, curled up into your shoulder, could've stared at the twinkling snowflakes hanging from the trees for hours. The twins led you up the couple of steps to the front door, telling both you and Soobin to be careful because it was slippery. Car seat in hand, Soobin saluted them as a thank you, and then insisted that they were the ones to knock on the door. Their faces lit up, their tiny fists going to town on the chestnut wood, the wreath hanging on it shaking like crazy.
A sing-songy voice could be heard on the other side along with another. Your blood pressure was through the roof. Catching a glimpse of Soobin watching the boys with pride helped ease the nerves, at least you’d be here with him, with all of them, your mini me’s you created with his help. Soobin was right, this was going to be a great weekend, you were here together, and that was enough.
The doorknob to the door rattled, and it swung open in a flash, your heart rate skyrocketing for a millisecond until your mother cheered, throwing her arms around your boys.
“Finally!” Fabulous as always, she wore a champagne colored chiffon dress cut off at her knees with flowing sleeves and matching Loubuittons. Diamonds hung around her neck and dripped from her ears and her wrists. Her hair was curled, and her makeup was pristine. Always the picture of perfection.
“Hi Mom,” you smiled, pressing your lips together, firm. With a twin on each leg, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and shot you an award winning grin.
“Hello my dear,” she crooned. “Hi Soobin, Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Joy,” Soobin smiled.
“Come in! Come in! God, it’s freezing out here,” Joy shuffled herself inside with the boys attached to her, making them giggle like crazy. Exchanging a look with Soobin, you both rolled your eyes.
“Rosie and Minho are in here somewhere,” Joy began, detaching the twins from her. Sunoo and Chan lifted their chins and looked around the house, taking it in as if they had never seen it before. “You’ll find them eventually, they’re not good at hiding.”
Your mother laughed toward you as if you’d get her joke. You settled for a sympathy laugh regardless, one she didn’t notice. Mouth agape, she tiptoed to your side, sliding a hand over Mina’s back.
“Think we’re coming down with something,” you said, giving your girl a gentle bounce. “She’s gonna be clingy all weekend.”
Joy pouted her silicone filled lips and held open her arms. “Be clingy right here, darling. Come ‘ere, sweetie.”
Kissing the top of Mina’s head you spoke quietly to her. “Go see your grandma, Meens.” You attempted to take her off your hip, but your girl held on tight.
“Oh, Mina,” Joy sang. “Joy has cookies in the kitchen, do you want some cookies?” Mina picked her head up, her heavy eyes blinking a couple of times before she held up a hand.
“Cookie,” she babbled.
“Cookie?” Chan whined. “Cookies? Joy, you have cookies?”
“Can we have cookies too?” Sunoo asked, looking up at you and Soobin. “I want some cookies too, please.”
Joy waited for the parents to answer, giving you eyes as persuasive as your kids.
“Well,” Soobin said, looking at you. “Can’t say no, you already brought it up. You can each have one cookie.”
Joy held her hands up and Mina nearly jumped into them. Wiggling your daughter out of her winter coat and mittens, Soobin took care of the boys and helped you hang everything up in the closet by the door after Joy hurried off to the kitchen with the kids. Sliding a hand around your back, he kissed your cheek and chuckled to himself.
“What?” Smiling up at him, you wrapped your arms around his back. He nuzzled his nose against yours and took a breath.
“Mm, nothing,” he shrugged. “Just thinking about how those kids are going to be glued to your mom all weekend.” His hands slipped lower over your pants, smoothing over the flowing fabric. “They’re going to forget about us, and we can get lost in this big house, and-” A whine slipped out of the carseat a few feet away from you. Soobin waited with baited breath for the baby to make another noise. You couldn’t help but laugh, burying your face into the collar of his jacket.
“Unfortunately that one can smell if I’ve ventured too far away from him,” you said. Soobin, still smiling, shook his head and kissed you much deeper than he had all day.
“Guess she was going to let him sleep,” Soobin said, untangling himself from you. He started for the carseat, greeting his youngest son with the sweetest voice.
“Yeah, I guess,” you furrowed your brows and glanced down the hall toward the kitchen where commotion was evident. “Here.” Turning to your husband who had Wonwoo out of the seat, tucked in the air in a newborn scrunch, you held out your arms to scoop up your little one. “He’s gonna be hungry soon.”
Adjusting the hood on his head while he was cradled in your arms, Soobin cocked his head to the side. “Give him to Joy, he can have a cookie.”
“Stop,” you laughed, shaking your head. Tapping your baby’s bottom, you turn around to peek down the hall again. “Shall we? Surely someone in there with arms will take him. I’ll help you bring in our stuff.”
“The boys will help me,” Soobin said, following you as you started down the long hall lined with galleries of photos of your family, both immediate and distant. There were plenty of you and Taehyun.
“The boys are five, and we have a lot of stuff,” you said. “They’re going to carry two bags and then they’ll hear Joy say something that sparks their interest and like you said, they’ll forget we’re here.”
The hardwood floor clicked beneath your shoes, echoing up into the high ceilings lined with wooden beams. The beige walls in this place seemed to stretch for miles, and just as you expected, there was some sort of Christmas pizzazz on every square inch. Turning into the kitchen that was toasty warm, you find the entire room was brand new. The last time you were here was shortly before Wonwoo was born, so that means in the past six months this kitchen had had another facelift.
The tile was marble, the counters were marble, and the cabinets were a dark forest green. On the end of the house, the ceiling on the kitchen was slanted and adorned with a massive skylight lined with spotlights shining down into the room.
“Mom, what the hell,” you said a little too loud.
“Bad word!” Sunoo pointed at you.
Joy, at the island counter with Mina sitting on the marble with a cookie in her hand and both boys standing beside her, looked toward you curiously. “What's the matter, honey?”
“This,” you gestured around the kitchen you had to admit was gorgeous. “It’s like the fifth time you’ve redone it.”
Joy frowned. “You don’t sound happy, what is it ugly? What did I miss?” She parroted her head around like she’d find an imperfection somewhere. Mina copied her, glancing around before she spotted you and Soobin and smiled.
“Mama,” she said, waving her cookie toward you.
“Hi Mina,” you nodded, stepping closer to her. “No, Mom, it’s… stunning. Just wish you’d commit to an aesthetic. This shit’s expensive.”
“Bad wooord!” Sunoo and Chan shouted.
“Babe,” Soobin’s tone was flat.
“This shit is very expensive, darling, but my God, it’s gorgeous,” Joy waved a hand around, flicking her diamond bracelet up and down her wrist.
“Joy! Bad word!” Chan pouted, looking up at his grandmother in defeat. Soobin sighed heavily, and you wanted to apologize, but he pulled the boys out of the kitchen before you had the chance to do so.
“We’re going to bring our things inside,” your husband said to you, disappearing with the boys down the hall.
Once he was gone Joy wiggled her brows. “Daddy Soobin still strict as ever, huh?”
“He’s not strict, Mom,” you shook your head. “He’s far from it.”
“Mhm,” she hummed, taking a bite out of a cookie. Mina tried to grab it from her, but she pulled it away. “Sweetie, you’ve got your own, and your military boot camp daddy said only one.”
“One,” Mina smiled, holding up a finger. Joy’s face lit up, making your daughter laugh.
“Good job, Mina,” she cooed. “How’s that baby of yours?” She asked you while she played with Mina.
Looking down at Wonwoo who was gazing up at the skylight, you smiled at him. “He’s perfect.”
“You feeling better about adjusting to four?” Joy snuck a glimpse of you, her eyes written with something you couldn’t quite decipher.
“I am,” you nodded. “Wonwoo’s an angel, so he made it too easy. Makes me feel like we could do five.” Joy thankfully laughed along with your joke.
“Yeah, well, if my husband looked like that I don’t think we’d stop.”
“Mom!” Your eyes went wild as she laughed.
“Come on, I’ve said it since you started dating him, Soobin’s a good one.”
Looking down at your baby again, you smiled. “He is a good one.” The kitchen went quiet for a moment, the only sound coming from Mina as she tried to put a cookie into Joy's mouth, and cheering to herself as she did. Praising her, Joy took a bite of the sugary snack and put it down, meeting your unreadable gaze.
“What’s the matter? You’re pregnant again, aren’t you.”
“Mom!”
“You have that look on your face,” she circled her finger toward you. Mina grabbed onto it and tried to put it in her mouth. “No, honey, you can’t eat my jewelry… What’s going on?”
With a breath, you shrugged and forced the words out of your mouth, attempting to sound as casual as possible. “Taehyun and Sana here?”
Joy lifted a brow. “Taehyun’s here. No Sana.”
“No?” you questioned in surprise. Joy eyed you curiously.
“Sweetie, they’ve been divorced for almost a year,” she said. Placing her palms flat on the marble counter around your daughter to keep her in a safe space, Joy narrowed her eyes. “You’re telling me you didn’t know that?”
Mouth wide open, you scoffed. “Had no idea. How did this not come up this summer?”
Joy shrugged. “I dunno, I figured the two of you had talked, and it’s his business, he didn’t need me spreading it around.”
She had a point.
“When was the last time you spoke to your brother?”
The word made your skin crawl.
“He’s not…” you nearly sneered, but stopped yourself before you opened a can of worms. “We haven’t talked… in a long time.”
Joy dodged a Mina kick, but still swam in her laughter, squeezing her cheeks with glee. “Tell me when that was.”
Swallowing hard, you took a deep breath. “Rosie’s tenth birthday party.”
“What!” Joy shouted, startling Mina. “I’m sorry, honey, c’mere.” She popped your daughter on her hip and scrambled out of the kitchen. “Follow me.”
Doing what you were told, you shifted Wonwoo over your shoulder and followed your mother to the other side of her home down the stretch of another hall. On the way you passed by a full bathroom, an office space and a living room with a TV screen as large as one in a movie theater. You ended up at the bottom of a staircase with your heart at the bottom of your stomach.
“Taehyun!” Joy shouted up the wooden dual level stairs.
“Mom, stop, we’ll talk,” you whispered, but your cries for help went unnoticed.
“Kang Taehyun!”
“Tae-yun,” Mina said, observing her grandmother. “Tae-yun!”
“Great,” you mumbled. What a fantastic word for her to learn and bring home with her.
“I’m coming!” His voice sent chills down your spine. “Hang on!” Even muffled by walls it churned your stomach into knots.
“You’re gonna talk now,” Joy shot you a glare over her shoulder. “It is Christmas goddamnit, I won’t have my kids fighting on Christmas.”
All you could give her was a sigh. From the front of the house you heard the door open and close. Poor boys were only on trip number one.
“Mom, I have to help Soobin with the car-”
Her hand cut you off. “Hush, he’s coming.”
Footsteps sounded upstairs, hurried footsteps, ones you would recognize blindfolded. You spent years listening to and memorizing the footsteps of the people you shared this house with.
“Taehyun!” Joy shouted for the last time.
He appeared at the top of the stairs with a grin, and the wind was knocked out of you. Meeting your eyes first he must’ve read your energy, because he blinked a couple of times and retreated down a single step hesitantly. You wanted to greet him somehow, this was no way for you to see somebody for the first time in two years, standing at the bottom of a staircase speechless.
He looked different. His hair was a little lighter, and you wondered if it was done on purpose or if age was already getting to him. Dressed the same as he usually would be, dark ripped jeans and a band tee that finally fit him properly instead of hanging off of his skinny frame. He hated the gym, there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d been working out… But, then how would he be filling out the sleeves of the tee the way he was if he wasn’t lifting… something.
There was color in his cheeks and life in his big brown eyes. He looked happy. And it tore your heart apart.
“Hi, Baby,” he shot you a big, toothy grin. “Long time, no see.”
“Yeah,” you breathed. “Long time no see.” Taehyun's gaze dropped to the baby in your arms. You swore his smile faltered before he met your eyes once more.
“Care to explain to me why your sister told me the two of you haven’t spoken in two years?” Joy cut the ever so joyous reunion off, and for once you were grateful for her obliviousness. Taehyun tilted his head to the side to think, but you know he knew damn well why the two of you haven’t spoken. It just wasn’t something you could share in front of Joy.
“Uhm, it’s just… Life, I guess,” Taehyun shrugged twice, looking at you for help. Either that or he was mentally crucifying you for opening your mouth.
Joy popped a hip and clicked her tongue. “You’re a shit liar, just like your father,” she said. “Whatever is going on, you two work it out before dinner please.” Stepping away from the stairs, Mina in her arms, she held up a hand and shouted, “No fighting on Christmas!”
You watched her walk away, and the moment she was out of earshot you pointed your attention up to the top of the stairs. Taehyun’s eyes were wide, and his smile was gone. Both of his hands held onto the wooden railing, like he was ready to prop himself up on it and slide down like he’s done before many times. He tried to teach you how to do it a long, long time ago, but you ended up with stitches in your elbow instead.
“You really said something to her?” Taehyun broke the minute of silence that was beginning to suffocate you both. “I was fully prepared for you to walk in here and we just pretend like everything is okay for a couple days for her sake.”
“I can’t do that,” you whispered.
His jaw tightened. “I need you to do that.” He started down the stairs, his chunky sneakers clunking with every rushed step he took. Brushing past you, his scent was familiar. He still wore the same cologne.
“And what if I can’t?” Your voice made him freeze. He turned around halfway.
“Then, I’m gonna take my kids and we’re gonna leave,” he said, then continued down the hall.
“We’re really not gonna talk about this?” you asked. “We’re not even gonna try to fix it?”
He whirled around, swinging his hands at his sides before he crossed them over his chest. His biceps bulged out of his sleeves. “We’re not,” he gritted his teeth. He took two steps closer to you. “We can’t. There is nothing to fix.”
“It’s Christmas.” Your voice was barely a whisper.
Taehyun glanced down to where Wonwoo laid. “Yeah. It’s Christmas. You keep having babies, and I’m divorced. You’re happily married, playing house with your amazing husband, and keep pulling me back under whenever you come around and wanna talk.” You gulped, he watched you do so. “We’re done. We were a long time ago. Now, we act like everything is fucking perfect, or I’m gonna get called into work tonight and break Joys heart.”
Staring each other down, he didn’t walk away until you nodded. Wonwoo stirred on your shoulder, a small sound slipping out of the boy's mouth. Rubbing his back you watched Taehyun disappear around a corner wrapped in silver garland. Resting your cheek on the hood of Wonwoo’s onesie, you soothed him with a gentle hush, bouncing him ever so gently, turning away from the hall.
An empty cry came out of the infant you cradled, one that made you laugh. “I know, lovie,” you breathed. “I feel the same way.”
Your eyes landed on a set of photos on the wall in a sleek black frame. Both photos, top and bottom, were from you and Taehyun’s first day of high school. Joy took your picture before you got on the bus in the morning, and then again when you got home.
In the photo on top you were both dressed nice and your hair was done. Taehyun, as skinny as a rail, was covered in black with a red checkered flannel around his shoulders, and you were in a yellow sundress. You would’ve never worn it if Taehyun didn’t tell you it made you look pretty. Hanging around your bedroom door all morning while you tried to put on a little makeup that Joy had given you, he wouldn’t leave you alone.
At that point, freshman year of high school, your families had been living together for four years. Jin and Joy weren’t married yet, you can still hear the distant jokes they’d make about living in sin.
The bottom photo was hysterical, it honestly made you smile. Standing out front on the sidewalk both you and Taehyun struck funny poses, and on the bus ride home, you’d almost switched outfits. His flannel was tied around your waist, and the two of you tried to switch shoes even though his feet were three sizes bigger than yours. Every piece of jewelry you had put on that morning was given to him, which would mark this as the day that Jin and Joy found out he had pierced his ears himself, without your help, of course.
Neither your mother nor his father, still to this day, ever found out that sometime that July the two of you went full Parent Trap and stabbed needles through his earlobes in the bathroom you shared. Lindsay Lohan really made it seem entirely too easy, it took three tries to get the needle through his skin. Practice makes perfect though, because when you were eighteen you pierced each other's second and third holes in that bathroom at four in the morning after downing half of Joys Svedka. You made sure to fill it up with water before she and Jin came home from their second cruise of the year.
Low and behold, in true Joy fashion, she never found out.
He had three silver studs in each ear today. Two summers ago he had three silver studs in each ear. You wondered if changing the jewelry gave him the same numb feeling it gave you. He used to wear diamonds, and sometimes he’d wear hoops, or chains that hung from each piercing. Either he didn’t care to switch out the earrings now, in which case he could just take the jewelry out and let the holes close, or he cared too much, and couldn’t touch them.
Scoffing under your breath at yourself, you shake your head. Thirty-two years old and you were still wallowing in the halls of your mothers home trying to put the puzzle pieces together to figure out if Taehyun cared about you. “Grow up,” you mumbled, spinning around your heels to find your boys. They’d pull you out of this.
“Hope you aren’t talking to me,” Soobin said with a smile, turning the corner just as you were about to sprint out of the hall.
Startled, you huff a laugh and meet him at his side. “No, not you,” you said. “Myself.” Soobin poked one of Wonwoo’s hands, letting the infant latch onto it, squeezing it with might. Only your husband's eyes flickered up to question you.
“Taehyun said you needed me?”
Your face twisted in confusion. “What?”
Thinning his lips into a line, Soobin bobbed his head. “He insisted on helping bring our stuff inside, and when I refused, politely, he told me that you needed me and sent me this way.”
“He’s a jerk.”
“What?” Soobin tilted his head. “I mean- Yeah, but, what happened? Are you okay?”
The sigh you let out ended with a gravely groan. “I’m fine, Soob. I told Joy we haven’t spoken, and she went… All Joy. He’s mad I told her. Said it’s something we can’t work out, ever. Guess he sent you this way ‘cause he thinks I’ll be emotional about it.”
Soobins sparkling eyes studied your being. “Are you?”
“Do I look like I’m throwing a tantrum?”
He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t think so,” he paused, looking down at his son who was getting more vocal. “I do know you expected things to get back to normal after you saw each other, though. You wanted to talk it out.”
“I did,” you said, averting your gaze to the floor. “As normal as our normal is.”
Soobin rolled his eyes, but not to degrade you. “Yeah, babe, I wanted you guys to work this out.” Snapping your eyes to his, your lips parted in shock. It made him smirk and roll his eyes again. “As much as I… dislike…” he waved his free hand behind him, “Most of this, and what it put you through… He was your best friend. You can’t deny that.”
“You’re my best friend,” you whispered, and Soobin smized before he shook his head.
“That’s sweet,” he smiled. “But, we know that’s not true.”
Wonwoo broke out into a cry, a real one this time. Shifting him to a cradle you bounced him and hummed.
“Hungry,” you whispered to the baby. Soobin took a step closer, closing the empty space between you. “Imma go upstairs to feed him.”
Soobin smoothed a hand over yours. “Give him to me. He can have a bottle for now.” Meeting his gaze, you purse your lips. “Go make sure Taehyun didn’t let Chan and Sunoo in the snow.”
Following you out into the foyer where there were a plethora of bags and suitcases, you helped Soobin with Wonwoo’s diaper bag, a battered blue thing that had ‘C. & S.’ stitched into the material right beneath the zipper. All four of your babies have used this bag, and you intended to follow through with the tradition no matter how many times Jin and Joy tried to gift you a brand new, brand name expensive one. Neither you or your husband have gotten a glimpse of the tree yet, but you could make a huge assumption that there would be one wrapped up for you beneath those glittering branches.
Kids were messy, and baby’s were no better. Between you and Soobin, you’ve both told them that they didn’t need to give you the high end things with marked up prices that would be ruined in a few days. You were doing perfectly fine with what you had. And Wonwoo is the baby of four! Back home you had a house filled to brim with enough to have you settled for a fifth or even a sixth.
“Everything is in here, right?” Slinging the bag over Soobin’s shoulder that didn’t have an infant over it, your voice was quiet. Moving at about a mile a minute, you popped the bag open to double check your husband would have what he needed, and listened to him as he laughed.
“I packed the bag, darling, everything’s there,” he said. Looking up at him, you blinked a couple of times. “I’ll be in the kitchen feeding him, okay?” You bobbed your head, rubbing Wonwoo’s back. “I’ll also be looking for our daughter, she and Joy are very quiet.” Darting his eyes down the hall, a snicker escaped you both before he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “Come find us when you grab the boys.”
A well-oiled, beautifully communicative team. Soobin truly was the greatest. Coming with so many faults and so much baggage, just look at where you are for the weekend, your husband very rarely, and almost never at all, brings you down for it. Trips like these are always a reminder that you struck gold nine years ago when you decided to take him up on that date night.
Ice cream and a movie. The simplest night, yet one you’ll cherish and remember forever. He picked you up in his used white, two door BMW, from the front porch of this very house. Knocking on the door, Jin was the one to answer. Soobin, in blue jeans and a white t-shirt, stepped up and held out his hand to shake your step-fathers. Back then he wore thick rimmed glasses, nothing like the skinny frames he wears now. They sat on the edge of his nose, and his dark bangs that used to hang in front of his face brushed right over the top of them.
He was totally boy next door, entirely pure, and all the more sweet. A gentleman, he paid for it all, he held your hand during the movie, and when he dropped you off, he walked you to the door and kissed your cheek. It wasn’t anything like you were used to, you had never, ever in your life had a date, yet alone one like Soobin. That one Friday night turned into every Friday night, and four kids later here you were.
Tugging the front door open to fetch your boys, Taehyun seemed to be walking in at the same exact time, bumping directly into you as he fumbled with the door. Nose to nose, you didn’t have a second to even see if the twins were covered in snow as they bolted over the threshold past your legs.
“Oh, shit, sorry,” he muttered. His eyes darted away from yours, watching the boys fly down one of the halls, you weren’t sure which.
Still gripping the door handle, digging your fingertips into the gold, you were certain your knuckles were white. Jaw as tight as can be, you sucked in a breath, his cologne surrounding you both comforting and all the more repulsive. Centimeters between you, you wanted nothing more than to release the door and lay your palm out on the side of his face, preferably at a speed that would knock some sense into him. Though you aren’t sure for what.
Taehyun looked down at you, his round lips pursing slightly as he read your expression. A snarky breath of air came out of him as he rolled his eyes. “Give it up,” he said. There was an insatiable itch lying just beneath your skin.
“Yanno, I would, actually,” you began, your eyebrows plummeting. “But, you listened to me.”
A real smirk graced his lips, flashing you his perfectly straight, pearly white teeth. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Sana,” you said. Your entire being filled with glee when his cocky smile fell off his face. “What was it, two years ago? Something like that right?” He rolled his eyes again, his staple. “Someone told me that they were… happy? Was that it? That they were happy, and not exhausting themselves for love? Overworking themselves to get out of their house, to get away from their wife? To get-” “Oh my god, shut up!” Taehyun groaned, dipping his head forward.
The newfound life in his eyes you caught a glimpse of was very much real. The big, round, chocolatey brown, galaxy filled eyes were back. You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed them. They were set perfectly on his face, the buttery olive color of his skin making them pop right above his sculpted nose and cheekbones. His face was slender, and a little small, but his eyes were oceans, filled with wonder. They always have been.
Boys always got the things girls didn’t, like the eyelashes, and Taehyun had plenty to spare. With each blink they fluttered, the chocolate brown turning into a daydream the longer you gazed up at him. His hardened, annoyed expression softened, and you felt yours do the same. His pink lips parted as if to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, his eyes flickered between yours, slowly, like they were trying to drink up this moment, as if it would never happen again.
Thirty-two looked good, the years were clearly kind to him, and you only hoped he was thinking the same. After four kids and five years of sleepless nights, you weren’t feeling your best. Not only that, you were also six months postpartum, wearing clothes that barely hugged your figure so you’d be comfortable. After those four kids, comfort had become a priority.
Taehyun was single now, he had bulked up, and you figured out in these two minutes that he colored his hair lighter on purpose. He looked good. He looked nice. He looked like himself. His entire fit tumbled you back almost twelve years, before Sana, before kids, before everything went to shit. It left you unsettled, but it also wrapped around you with warmth, and safety. Normal, and happy, and comforting, like home should be.
A pout snuck onto your lips, one that Taehyun shifted his gaze toward. “Tae,” you whispered, feeling a lump form in your throat.
“No, no, no, you’re gonna cry,” he shook his head the slightest. “Don’t cry.”
“But I will,” you pressed your lips together tight after the words left you. “Talk to me. Please. Especially now, please.”
A sharp breath shot through him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from yours. “I don’t know if I can handle going there again.” His voice was a whisper.
“We don’t have to,” your eyebrows flipped over, pleading with him. Now he looked away, toward the floor between you. “We can start from two years ago, or we can start over, we can be brand new, we can be…” you gulped, “Brother and sister.”
His shoulders shot back as he stood up straight and plastered the cocky smirk back on his lips. “You really think we can do that?”
Nodding, you tried to smile, but it wouldn’t work. “I do,” you lied to keep him talking. Taehyun shrugged and dropped his smug act that never stood a chance around you, you weren’t even sure why he still tried. “For the sake of our families and our futures, I do.” His eyes melted into yours. The lump lodged in your throat forced a tiny tear out of the corner of your eye. “You were my best friend, Tae.”
“We were codependent and stupid,” he sighed. The words shoved a knife into your gut.
“I don’t disagree,” you said to his surprise. “Codependent and stupid. But, you were my best friend. I miss you.”
Hesitating, Taehyun danced his eyes all around your face, studying you, taking you in. With a breath and a heavy exhale, he nodded, swallowing hard. “I miss you, too.”
“Not lying?”
He shook his head. “Not lying.”
A smile lit up your face. “Joy still has those pictures of us on the wall, the ones from freshman year?”
“The clothes switch?” You both said at the same time and laughed.
“Oh god, they couldn’t take us anywhere,” Taehyun said.
“Menaces, both of us,” you giggled.
Taehyun quirked a brow. “I think I still have those earrings, the ones you had on that day.”
“Now you’re lying, there’s no way you have the-”
“Dangly silver diamonds Joy gave me for our middle school graduation.”
“Dangly silver diamonds Joy gave you for our middle school graduation.”
The both of you screwed your mouths shut and held in a laugh. Taehyun's cheeks turned an endearing shade of pink, and it wasn’t from the open door you were both still standing in. Peeking at the floor like a flustered teenager, he licked his lips and huffed a laugh.
“See,” you said, getting his attention. “We keep talking at the same time, that’s something siblings do, right?”
Taehyun cringed, the physical reaction he had to the words was the same as you.
“That’s…” he began, curling his lip.
“Weird?” you added quietly, and he nodded. “Agreed. I hate it.”
“Friends?” he offered, his voice jumping up at the end, preparing himself for you to hate it. “Is that… less weird?”
“Friends,” you smiled, bouncing your knees once to signify your delight. It was going to have to be something you both worked for, but it was better than nothing. “Thank you.” Reaching between you, you rested your hand on his arm and tried to not express your shock over the muscles that rippled beneath your touch.
Taehyun glanced at your fingers for a moment, then he smiled and gave his full attention back to you. Lifting a hand, he brushed it over your cheek and tucked some of your hair behind your ear, letting his fingers dance over the earrings you chose to wear. Breath hitching in your throat, your grip tensed on his arm, squeezing accidentally. Time slowed, and for a moment you forgot where you were. A screech from the kitchen from one of your kids brought you back, and both of your hands dropped in an instant. Neither of you had anything to say.
“No wonder it’s freezing!” Joy’s voice carried from around the corner where she appeared from. Whipping yourself around, jumping away from Taehyun, you smiled and took a deep breath. “Shut the damn door!” She was kidless with one arm tucked under the other.
“Sorry,” you said in a hurry, bringing yourself closer to her so that Taehyun could follow orders and push the door shut, clicking the lock into place. Joy took her hands to your shoulders and rubbed your arms, flashing you a curious brow. “We brought the house with us, clearly.” Peeking over your shoulder, you meet Taehyun’s eyes, watching you.
Joy looked from Taehyun, to you, then back to Taehyun. “Did we make up?” She forced her serious tone out of the depths of where she locked away all her parenting skills. Both you and Taehyun gave her a nod.
“All good, Mom,” you said. “Can I help you with dinner? Are we getting anything started yet?”
Joy pressed a hand to your cheek, right where Taehyun’s had been. “Jin’s at the store picking up a couple of last minute things, when he gets back we’ll really get started.”
“Oh, yeah, he’s got my kids,” Taehyun snickered, waltzing past the two of you toward the kitchen.
“Does he?!” Joy shouted. “This whole time I thought they were getting into trouble somewhere up there!” She gestured to the floor above her.
Taehyun paused beside her and grabbed her shoulder. “Joy, be honest, you never knew what happened up there.”
“I knew enough, okay?” Defending herself, she held up a hand. “You were two teenagers going through everything at the same exact time, I was not going to get in your way! I was a teenager before, okay? I hated when my mother was in my space. When we moved into this house you both got the second floor for a reason!”
“A+ parenting, Joy,” Taehyun nodded, and you did your best to swallow a giggle.
Joy groaned. “Come on you two, I’ve been up there. I wasn’t a neglectful mother! Taehyun, we helped you move out, I saw the walls and the carpets in both your rooms, and the tile in the bathroom. You were kids, you were stupid, but you had your own space and it made you two closer than ever, and as a mother, I couldn’t ask for more.”
Tiny feet running down the hall stole everyone's attention. Chan and Sunoo, at the speed of light, wearing wicked smiles, were flying toward the other end of the hall. As they passed by the three of you, Sunoo latched onto Taehyun's legs, his short arms just making it around them.
“Whoa!” Taehyun shouted, gripping the little one by the back to make sure he wouldn’t fall, his voice signaling to Chan that his brother had stopped shorthand.
“What the heck are you two doing?” You watched Chan turn around and wrap himself around Taehyun's other leg, his arms just barely reaching his brother's shoulders. The twins laughed maniacally, then gazed up at Taehyun.
“We was racing, Mom!” Chan said, sucking down deep breaths.
“We were racing,” Taehyun corrected.
Sunoo’s smile was so wide it almost hid the tired in his eyes. The only one out of four to not have a car nap. “We raced to Uncle Taehyun! I won!”
Joy planted a hand over heart. “How sweet,” she said, giving you a look.
Chan leapt away from his uncle and crossed his arms over his tucked in button down. Dark brows lowered furiously, your five year old scolded his copy. “We was not, Sunoo!” A little performer, Chan stomped a foot. “You said the hallway!”
“We were not, Chan,” Taehyun corrected him again. He crouched down and wrapped an arm around Sunoo, then motioned for Chan to join him in his other one. “Besides, it doesn't matter who won, right?” Sunoo opened his mouth to object, but Taehyun moved right along. “It’s Christmas, and Santa comes tonight.” The boy's eyes shot open wide, and you and Joy laughed quietly.
“He’s so good with them,” Joy said to you under her breath.
“We can’t be mad at each other when Santa’s coming, can we?!” Taehyun asked, and both boys shook their heads. “Right,” he grinned, the sight making your stomach flip. “Now, I say we go upstairs and look for something to do while we wait for Rosie and Minho to come back and play. Sounds good?”
“Good!” Sunoo and Chan shouted.
“Yanno, it’s uncanny,” Joy said as she took a step backward toward the kitchen. You both watched Taehyun take a twin with each hand and start for the stairs on the opposite end of the house. “They share no relation, but those boys have his damn eyes.” Shooting you a smile like she didn’t just send your stomach plummeting for the floor, she turned around for the kitchen and shouted, “Soobin, I want my grandson! Give him up!”
Arms slung around Soobin’s shoulders where he sat at the kitchen table, you rested your chin on the top of his head, watching Joy rock Wonwoo in her arms. The chiffon fabric that hung from her arms brushed over his face occasionally, making him giggle, and in return, making everyone else giggle. Still swaddled in his teddy bear onesie, Wonwoo stared at his grandmother in awe, his stubby fingers trying to reach for her shiny jewelry.
“I love it when they can’t run away,” Joy cooed, nuzzling her nose on Wonwoo’s. “In a couple months he’ll be on the move, then you won’t be able to do this anymore.”
“Ouch, okay, don’t do that to me,” you said, and Soobin agreed.
“That’s our baby,” Soobin frowned. “Please don’t rush it.”
Joy smiled toward you two, nodding to Mina who was cuddled up on Soobins lap. Her thumb was in her mouth and her eyes were halfway shut. She was completely dead weight, Soobin already tried to move her. She wouldn’t budge.
“Least that one’s still cuddly,” she said. Blowing a raspberry, you glanced down at your daughter. “Your only girl… Consider another.” Eyes boggling out of your head, you and Soobin both, you laughed and held each other tighter. Soobin had his hand wrapped around one of your wrists.
“Four seems like quite enough, Joy,” Soobin said. Joy raised her eyebrows, shrugged, and cooed down at Wonwoo. “We didn’t even know that one was coming!”
Joy’s attention shot up. “Exactly,” she smized. “It could happen again!”
You and Soobin shared a quick look. “Mm,” you hummed. “I don’t think so.”
“Don’t be so silly,” Joy said to the baby, directed at you. “Anything can happen, anything is possible… Right, Wonwoo?” Your son cooed at his grandmother. “That’s right, sweetie pie.”
Watching your mother cradle the baby and talk about having more kids as if it were nothing but a past time nauseated you. Here, in a kitchen that’s been redone oodles of times, in a house that was oodles of dollars you cannot even begin to comprehend, with a woman who had one daughter with a man she was married to for not even a year.
Dating men on and off throughout your childhood before she met Jin, you encountered a lot of strange and unusual people who somehow, conveniently, always had money. They would spoil your mother and buy her things she didn’t need that she’d give to you. Plenty of them offered her marriage, but she refused for whatever good reason she had in her materialistic mind.
It wasn’t that she was a bad mother, she didn’t neglect you, or brush you off, or set you aside… It was more of the fact that she was rarely present, and if she was present, she wasn’t paying attention.
Most of the men she dealt with were way older than her and typically kidless. If they did have kids, they were old enough to be out of the picture without having to be around to see their father mess around with a gold digger single mother. You really don’t know how she did it, maintaining multiple relationships at once without them figuring each other out. But, everything changed when she met Jin. Taehyun’s father.
Neither of you liked to say it was your fault they ended up together, but ultimately it was your fault that they ended up together. An elementary school incident that had both of your parents meeting in front of the teachers desk at the end of a long winter's day.
Taehyun had been pulling on your pigtails, and you didn’t like it very much, so you took it upon yourself to push him to the floor. When he fell he knocked over one of the toy bins, and stuffed animals poured out on the floor everywhere, and Taehyun saw an opportunity. He picked one up and threw it at you. Thus beginning a stuffy fight with every first grader in the class.
It took two years for them to start dating, it wasn’t official until you were in third grade and you hadn’t spoken to Taehyun in a while because you had girl friends at that point, and boys had cooties, and besides, Taehyun would always be the boy who used to pull your hair.
Joy and Jin kept a lot of things separate for a while, they didn’t let you or Taehyun see them together, interact, or just simply know if they were going out together. It was some well kept secret, one that was hidden out of sight for about a year and half, until the summer of sixth grade when they decided to buy a house and move everybody in together. Taehyun wasn’t happy. At first, neither of you were. You adjusted a lot faster, loving the big, brand new room where you’d have complete interior design control, and long halls, stretchy walls, and echoey ceilings. A touch of Joy's materialism may have rubbed off on you at some point.
The boy who now lived across the hall from you struggled for almost a year. Joy had found her perfect match, because Jin had no idea. Taehyun would spend too much time in his room blasting loud music, and shortly after living together you found out that he knew how to sneak in and out of his bedroom window, shimmying down a tree that hugged the back edge of the house. Eventually you would learn how to do that, too. And it was painful. But, it was entirely too much fun. You figured out quickly how to get friends into your rooms from that tree.
Joy was half right when she told you she didn’t neglect you, but that didn’t mean she was winning Mother Of The Year. When she held your kids and cuddled them, and kissed their noses, and gave them treats, her intentions were genuine. It healed some part of you deep down inside, while it simultaneously crushed your heart into a trillion pieces. They were getting a side of her you didn’t get.
The moment you found out you were pregnant in the upstairs bathroom of this house, not even knowing it was twins, you vowed to be the mother to them you never had. You would give your kids a beautiful life, one where they’d never have to question whether or not their parents loved them.
That’s also part of the reason why you married Soobin. He was a good man, he always has been, and he’s proven that he’s an even better father. Soobin became your peace amongst the chaos, your rock. At home, when it’s just the six of you, you’re calm, level headed, and able to think clearly thanks to your husband's guidance that took years for you to adapt to. When you’re here, at home, back in a life you were hardwired to always live, things got a little blurry.
“Do I hear Jin?” Joy glanced to the arched doorway of the kitchen, narrowing her eyes like it would help her hear better. On the opposite side of the house, away from the garage, one would think it’d be impossible to hear the doors open, but like the footsteps around the house, you were conditioned and your ears were trained to hear that sound from a mile away.
“Yeah, he’s back,” you said. Soobin laced his brows together, looking up at you. He didn’t have ears in this house like you. “I’ll go help him.”
Your husband started to stand up, gracefully sliding your daughter into your arms. “She’s about to knock out, I’ll go help him.” Wrapping your arms around Mina, the two year old buried herself in your chest, her arms clinging to the fabric of your sweater. “Baby girl needs her mom,” Soobin whispered, his lips perking up into a small smile. “I’ll have the boys come down too.”
“He’s so good with them, isn’t he, Soobin?” Joy spoke up. Your husband turned to flash your mother a grin. “Taehyun? So good with kids.” “Somebody’s got to be the fun guy, right?” Soobin half laughed, then looked at you with his lips completely flat.
“I talked to him,” you said under your breath, and Soobins eyes narrowed. “Before he took the boys upstairs, we spoke.” Peeking behind him finding Joy invested in Wonwoo, Soobin faced you completely and kissed your cheek.
“It’s going to be okay,” he mumbled, though it sounded more like a question.
Nodding fast, you smiled. “It’s gonna be okay.”
With a gentle squeeze to your shoulder, Soobin left the kitchen, leaving you with your mother and your babies. Taking the seat your husband was just in, you adjusted Mina so she was comfy, and kissed the top of her head. Her forehead was warm and her cheeks were rosy.
“Mom, you have any Tylenol…” Your voice faded as you looked up, finding her staring at you with a studious look. She was focused, eyes pointed at you with an intent you couldn’t seem to read. “What now?”
Joy shook her head, dangly earrings bouncing below her ears. “Just thinking.”
“Uh oh,” you said, and she scoffed. “I’m kidding,” you dipped your chin to apologize, “What’re you thinking about?”
Joy teetered her head side to side, glancing about her thirty thousand dollar kitchen. “I dunno, I’m just so happy to have you and Taehyun here, and your families.”
“Doesn’t seem like it,” you started to frown, and a nervousness settled into your chest, much like how it would when you were a kid and your mother put on her serious face. It was just you and her in the kitchen, there wasn’t a stray Taehyun around to save you.
“No, I am, truly,” she said. “When you both said you’d be here I couldn’t wait to have you both under one roof again, for an entire weekend. You’re both adults, you both are so busy, we haven’t gotten to be a family in a long, long time.” Joy copied your frown, averting her gaze to the table in front of her, then to your baby in her arms. “If I think about it for too long… I wonder if we’ve ever… been a family.”
“Mom,” you sang. She looked up to you and shrugged. “We’ve been a family for such a long time, you know that right? Taehyun and I were twelve when we moved here, that’s… that’s like, holy shit, that’s like twenty years.”
“Twenty years of what?” Joy asked, purely genuine. Her eyes begged yours for help. The nervousness in your chest spread to your stomach, filling your entire being with unease.
“What are you getting at, Joy?” you almost snapped.
Your mother’s bottom lip crinkled. “You didn’t know he was divorced, you haven’t spoken in two years, what kind of mother have I been? A mother should know this about her kids.”
“Technically he’s not yours,” you joked, hoping she would laugh. She did not.
“He has been for ten years through the law.”
“Yeah, but even then, we were, what? Twenty-two when you and Jin officially got married?”
Joy pressed her lips together, firm. “What do you have against us being a family?” Her voice was quiet, incredibly hushed that not even the baby’s stirred, but her tone was packed full of venom. Eyes going wide, you sat back in the chair and took a shallow breath. For a minute she stared at you. Then, she shook her head and looked down at Wonwoo who dozed off. “Why didn’t you two speak for so long?”
Rolling your eyes you held Mina closer and sighed. You’ve relived the fight you and Taehyun had at his daughter's tenth birthday party so many times, most times with Soobin when it became unbearable to stay in your head. Neither one of your parents cared, until now it seemed, but that’s how it went. Selective parenting, like she was playing make believe.
“I told him…” You weren’t sure how to begin. It might be a whole lot better if you just ripped off the bandaid. “I told him to divorce her.”
Joy's expression went unchanged. “Why would you… How could you even say those words?”
“Mom, do you remember how he used to be? Sure, he looks fantastic now, but two, three years ago? He was miserable!” Your volume had raised, Mina shifted on your lap.
“They were a family.” “She was using him for his money, Mom, come on,” you spat back, feeling your veins fill with fire. “You and this preconceived idea of family. We could all see what she was doing to him, I’m shocked she didn’t force five more fuckin’ kids out of him.”
“He loves those kids.”
Your eyes were ready to roll out of your head, the amount of times they’ve spun already. “Of course he does, he’s a great father. He could have a billion of them and he’d love them all the same. That doesn’t mean he was happy with Sana, though.” Joy’s glare had softened at some point. “I was the only one who cared enough to speak up, to help him realize, wake him up! And it made him hate me.”
Joy nodded, pursing her lips. “Is that the only reason?”
“Yes, Joy, it is,” you said, keeping your eyes locked on hers. Not letting her see through the half lie you forced past your lips.
“Okay,” she said. “But, you guys talked it out.”
“Somewhat.”
A small nod was all she could give you before two bodies strolled into the kitchen, all carrying shopping bags.
“We’re back!” An enthusiastic, young, happy voice filled the air. Turning to the commotion, you gave the young boy who looked back at you a huge smile. Dark hair and round brown eyes, Minho was the spitting image of his father. His smile was a bit like his mothers, smaller and poutier, but the rest of him was straight Taehyun.
Dressing like him too, the eight year old wore black ripped jeans and an oversized grey hoodie with a band you used to know on the front. Converse high tops were laced on his feet and a black beanie covered his head. He looked at you from beneath his bangs that almost covered his eyes. He and Taehyun both needed haircuts.
“Hi, Minho,” you said softly.
The boy gave you a small wave. “Hi. Is that Mina?” He pointed to the baby on your lap, and you frowned.
“It is,” you said. “She’s not feeling good.”
“Don’t let her near me,” a shrill, higher pitched voice said from behind the kitchen island. Shifting your eyes over to the twelve year old in wedged chelsea boots, you flashed her your best smile.
“Don’t worry, Rosie,” you breathed. “It’s just a little cold.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she sneered, walking over to Joy, letting you get a glimpse of what she was wearing for the day. You wanted to gasp in disbelief. “Mom’s taking me to New York City when we leave here, I cannot get sick.”
The twelve year old wore an emerald green silk dress that wrapped around her neck and covered her left arm, leaving the right one exposed to the winter air. The dress stopped above her knees. On her legs she wore shimmering black stockings that went into her, you guessed it right, three inch high black boots that lived at her ankle. Silver bracelets jingled on her right wrist, and diamonds were in her ears. She flashed them to you whenever she swung her shoulder length black hair back and forth.
Rosie leaned against Joy, who wrapped her arm around her back, and looked down at Wonwoo. “Who’s baby?”
Joy laughed, but you wanted to scream.
“Your aunt’s, silly,” Joy said to her. “They had another baby, her and Soobin.”
Rosie was unimpressed. “Do you guys ever stop doing it?” She looked at you with her nose turned up. You could’ve choked on air at her words. If Soobin were in the room he’d be throwing a fit. Joy, no surprise, laughed at her granddaughter.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” Minho asked, stepping closer to you curiously. He went from watching Mina, to watching you, to looking for Wonwoo. Giving him your full attention, turning away from the Sana clone at the other end of the table, you smiled.
“A boy, his name is Wonwoo,” you said. Minho shared your smile and nodded, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie.
“Weird name,” Rosie muttered. “Where’s my dad?”
“Upstairs with Chan and Sunoo, your Uncle Soobin just went looking for them,” Joy said. “Why don’t you go find them and tell them we’re starting dinner.” Rosie groaned, tipping her head backward, and strutted off, boots clacking on the floor with every step.
“I don’t wanna cook. Mom doesn’t make me cook,” her voice faded away as she entered the hall.
Shooting your mother a look she didn’t share with you, you said, “She’s… something.”
“She’s adjusting.” Joy’s whisper was a tad harsh, nicking your skin with a bite.
“Did Mina have to take medicine?” Minho asked, the sweet boy thankfully taking your attention. “My dad makes me drink this gross stuff when I have a cold.” The boy climbed into the chair next to you and watched his sleeping cousin.
“She didn’t yet, I wasn’t sure she’d need any, but now I’m thinking that she does. What gross stuff does he make you drink?” Crinkling your nose, you made him giggle.
“It’s orange, and it says it tastes like honey, but I don’t think it does,” Minho made a face and shook his head. “He calls it-”
“Bee Juice,” you said.
“Yeah!” Minho’s face lit up. “How did you know that?”
“We used to drink that when we were sick,” you said, your smile growing as you watched him settle in to listen to your story. “This one time, we were around Rosies’ age, I was really sick, and I refused to take any kind of medicine to help me feel better. Your dad tried to help me, and he was making all these funny jokes about it. There’s bees on the bottle right?” Minho nodded. “He called it Bee Juice, and for some reason that made me take it, and it made it taste good.”
“That’s funny,” Minho said. “Mina needs Bee Juice. I know my dad has some, he brought it with him.”
Your smile faltered. “He did?”
“Yeah, he says he keeps it just in case. Do you want me to tell him Mina needs it?”
“No, Minho, that’s okay,” you said. “I can ask him later.”
“Ask him now,” Joy said, gesturing to the doorway.
The kitchen filled with shouts, laughter and life. Taehyun barreled through the doorway with Sunoo on his back and three shopping bags in his hands. Chan hurried beside him, holding a quarter gallon of milk in his hands.
“We’ve got it,” Sunoo announced to the room, acquiring a round of laughter. “No one worry.”
Soobin trailed behind him, chatting with Jin who had Rosie attached to his side. Both adults had bags in their hands as well, lifting them onto the island Taehyun sat Sunoo on. Deep in conversation, probably something about work, Jin still made a move to hug you tight as best as he could without disturbing Mina, then went back to Soobin, helping him unload some of the plastic bags.
Rosie wandered to the table with her nose now in a cell phone that had a clear hot pink case with a polaroid photo shoved in the back of some celebrity she probably loved. Her glossed lips were pulled into a frown as she tapped away at the screen furiously.
After sliding the milk onto the counter carefully, Chan came to your side and peeked over your arm to check on his sister. “She is asleep?”
“She is,” you said softly. “Were you worried about her?”
Chan nodded. “She will be okay for Santa, right?”
“Santa!?” Rosie roared from her seat.
You shut her down quickly with a glare, not caring if Sana heard about it, then turned to your son. “She’ll be okay, love, I promise.”
“Okay, mom,” Chan said.
“Did you see Minho? Did you say hi?”
Chan looked to his right and smiled something small, feeling shy beside an unfamiliar face. The last time they saw each other Minho was six, and the twins were three. Minho probably remembered them, but your boys were just becoming aware of their own arms at the time, you weren’t sure they’d remember.
“Are you Chan or Sunoo?” Minho asked, looking between the twin in front of him and the twin crawling on top of the counter in front of his own father.
Chan almost gasped and put his hands on his hips. A smirk found your lips. Drama queen incoming. “I am Chan,” the five year old said loud and clear. “That is Sunoo,” he pointed to his brother. “You can tell us a part, my favorite color is blue, and Sunoo’s favorite color is red.”
Minho laughed, looking to you for a second. “You guys look exactly alike.”
“We are twins!” Chan exclaimed, tossing his arms out to the side. “This is my sister Mina, and that is my brother Wonwoo, he is new.”
“That’s my sister, Rose,” Minho nodded to his sister who didn’t bother to look up. “We call her Rosie.”
“Rosie,” Chan whispered as if he was mentally logging her name.
“She’s mean,” Minho admitted, and Chan gasped. You held yours back, waiting for him to say more.
“Why is she mean?” Chan’s eyebrows dropped low.
Minho shrugged. “She just is. Don’t talk to her.”
Leaning toward the two boys, you whispered, “I second that. Don’t talk to her.” Chan smiled, and Minho laughed, seeming surprised. Winking at him, he tried to give one back, the two of you solidifying some sort of alliance in this moment, though your aversion stemmed from your resentment for Sana.
“Minnie!” Taehyun shouted, rounding the kitchen counters to hurry over to his son. Throwing his arms around the boy's shoulders, he squeezed him tight and shook his side to side, pressing kisses to his cheek. His boy laughed, trying to shy away from him, but it was clear that he loved it. “Were you good for your grandpa?”
“Yeah,” Minho said, looking up at Taehyun.
“‘Course you were,” he grinned, then glanced to his daughter. “Rosie?”
“Hm?” She didn’t take her eyes off her phone screen. Taehyun didn’t lose his smile. He didn’t have to for you to see the disappointment within him.
“Were you good for Grandpa Jin?” he asked her.
Rosie glared at her father, holding eye contact for a few seconds. She didn’t say a word, and she didn’t need to. When she focused back down on her phone, Minho, still in Taehyun’s arms, looked at you.
“See? Mean,” he said.
Taehyun clicked his tongue. “Don’t talk about your sister like that. One day she could be all you have.” Your cheeks flushed as he glanced to you. Pressing a kiss to his son's head, he stood up and attended to your son calling his name from the kitchen counter.
“I’m coming! I’m coming!” His silvery hair bounced as he rushed. Gathering Sunoo in his arms he twirled once and set him on the ground. Your five year olds giggle sounded through the kitchen, standing out amongst the other chatter.
Joy had left her seat, and Wonwoo was in Soobin’s arms now, still snoozing. This ambiance was the same as the one from home, that little boy could sleep through it all. Your husband rocked the baby while he bounced his knees, still deep in conversation with Jin. Those two have gotten along since the very first day Soobin showed up at the front door.
Putting away groceries, Joy had acquired Taehyun’s help, who had recruited Sunoo. The little one puttered around and did his absolute best to follow directions. Chan was asking Minho questions, ones you couldn’t make out over the noise, and Rosie was unbothered, tapping away at her phone.
On your lap Mina moved, her rosy cheeks looking up to find you. A soft, “Mama,” escaped her, and you both pouted.
“I’m so sorry, honey,” you whispered, kissing her head gently. “We brought you here when you don’t feel well, that’s so unfair.” Across the kitchen you caught Soobin’s eye, your husband leaning against the counter. When you met his gaze he gave you a sympathetic smile. Pushing your chair back, you let Chan know where you were going as he turned to look at you, and laughed as he climbed into the vacant chair at lightning speed. Minho grabbed the bottom of it and pulled it closer to him, the two chatting away.
“Those two were fast friends,” Soobin said when you reached his side, nodding at your son and his cousin. Jin joined Joy, Taehyun and Sunoo in the unloading of the groceries and the prep for dinner. Looking back at the kids, Minho had his phone out now and was showing Chan something that had him giggling. “Should I go see what they’re looking at?”
“No,” you said a little too fast for Soobin’s liking. Flashing him a soft gaze, you smiled. “They both tell us everything, you know that. Besides, Chan’s a rule follower. I guarantee you he’ll have parental locks on both those kids’ phones by the end of this weekend.”
Soobin chuckled, shaking his head. “Our kids aren’t getting phones till they're thirty.”
“Agreed,” you said. “I find it a little crazy Minho has one at eight.”
Soobin hummed, then said, “I mean it makes sense.”
“How?” you scoffed.
“Their parents are divorced,” he nearly mumbled, shooting you a look.
You squeezed your eyes shut for a second. “Right. Joy was just blaming me for ruining their lives, how could I forget.”
Though your sarcasm was evident, Soobin’s eyes went wild. “What are you talking about?”
“Rosie’s attitude, toward everyone apparently,” you began, scanning the kitchen. “I’m sure somethings going on with Minho, Taehyun may not be as well as I thought he was, and it’s all my fault, all of it. I told her what I said to him.”
Something of a groan came from Soobins chest. “None of it is your fault, don’t let her do that to you.” His hardened, protective glare was coming out. It made you smile. “He made his choice, he did that to his family. And as for Rosie?” He widened his eyes. “Full blame is on Sana. I feel like she’s here.”
“Hang on! I left it upstairs, gimme a minute, I’ll be right back,” Taehyuns voice echoed to his family as he rushed by you and Soobin into the hall.
Watching him fly by, you turned to Soobin and said, “Minho told me Taehyun’s got cough medicine.”
“Oh?” Soobin raised a brow.
“Mhm,” you gritted your teeth and widened your eyes. “I’m gonna go see if Mina can take it, and try to find out why he has it.”
Soobin took a breath, appearing like he wanted to tell you not to do it. “For Mina.”
“Yes, for Mina,” you repeated. Your husband tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded slowly. “Soobin,” your tone was flat.
“I’ll have a drink ready for you when you come back, what do you want?” he asked, expertly switching the subject.
A small smile popped onto your lips, one Soobin returned. “Just a glass of water, please.”
“Of course,” he nodded.
Down the hall and up the stairs you used to run up and down as a teenager, you stared at the stretch of a corridor that had two doors on either side, two bedrooms, and a pushed back bathroom to your right on the other side of the railing. Many, many, many feet across from you was the other staircase that wound down to the first floor near the kitchen. They opened up to the living room where a fireplace and the giant TV lived, right by a little hallway that took you to a sliding glass door and spacious backyard.
The floor was wooden, like the stairs. A deep, chestnut color that matched every door in this place. There wasn’t a single window in the hall, but there was a long one in the bathroom next to the shower, and both bedrooms had three. Your bedroom was to the left. Taehyuns was to the right. Outside of your door sat most of your bags from downstairs, all of them brought up for you. Taking your time toward them in the quiet air, you let your gaze fawn over every mark on the wall, every scuff, every memory that was crammed into every inch of this second floor. It was a lot cleaner now that no one occupied this space.
Jin and Joy’s bedroom was on the first floor, they rarely had a reason to come up here.
The door to the bathroom was cracked open, the tile on the floor lit up by the sun peeking through the window curtain, illuminating the shadows of a past you seemed to be longing for.
Adjusting Mina on your front, you cradled her head and sighed. This little one was a reminder that your life had turned for the better, that the past was in the past, and that it was something you needed to leave behind, though here in this quiet hall it seemed impossible. You used to laugh until your stomach hurt, the sleepless nights up here were endless. Sneaking your friends in through Taehyun’s window, hiding bottles of drinks you shouldn’t have underneath your bed so your parents wouldn’t find them, getting so stupidly under the influence that led to hookups, and more hookups.
You were young, you were stupid, you were having fun. You weren’t knee deep in diapers, playing peek-a-boo, or worried about bills. Life was exciting, and you were as light as a feather, letting life take you where it wanted to, which most times was through the door Taehyun stepped out of now. Startling each other, you gasped, then let out a soft laugh. He had a phone in his hand and a small smile on his face.
“I didn’t even hear you come up here,” he said, taking a step toward you.
“Guess I still know how to be sneaky,” you smirked. He was enamored by it for all of two seconds, then his smile dropped as he cleared his throat. “Wait, no, I didn’t mean-“
“I know,” he nodded, then attempted another smile. It was quiet for a moment before he said, “Strange up here now.”
“Definitely,” you sighed. Taehyun peeked at his phone that vibrated twice, then looked back up at you.
“I, uh, brought up your stuff,” he gestured to your bags, “You have a lot of shit.” You both laughed.
“I have four kids,” you raised your eyebrows. “My shit has a lot of shit.”
Taehyun flashed his grin. You ignored the cartwheel in your stomach. “Congratulations, by the way,” he said. “He’s beautiful. Wonwoo.”
“Thank you,” you smiled, proud. “He was a perfect little surprise.”
“Joy told me,” he said, nodding his head.
Your eyes narrowed. “When?”
“This past summer,” his volume dropped. “We celebrated Rosie’s birthday here.”
Your heart sunk to your knees. Shaking your head, you held back a sigh. “We were here this summer, right before Wonwoo was born, I knew nothing about it.”
Taehyun shrugged. “Yeah, well…”
“You have to go past me to come here,” you said, adjusting Mina on your front once more. “Jin or Joy didn’t even tell us?!”
“I told them not to,” he admitted.
Sucking in a sharp breath, you straighten out your back and tighten your jaw.
“Are you really surprised?” Taehyun asked. “We hadn’t seen each other in forever.” He took two more steps toward you, shoving his phone in his back pocket. “The last time we spoke, you were yelling in my face.”
“I distinctly remember you yelling in my face,” you said just above a whisper, taking a step toward him. The anger you used to feel when this topic came up bubbled to the surface, simmering beneath your skin. “I just wanted to talk to you.”
“You always want to talk to me,” he said. The two of you had a foot of space between you now, and you could tell you shared the rage you were feeling inside. “It took me a while to realize that you don’t know this, but when people break up they don’t do this.”
Jaw clenched, eyes as wide as the moon, you shook your head. “Do what.”
Taehyun tipped his head back and huffed a laugh, looking elsewhere for a second. “This. Talk to each other, stay involved, unless…”
“Unless what?” your voice trembled, a mere whisper.
Darting his tongue out between his lips, he swallowed hard, and muttered, “Unless they still love each other.”
“That bullshit doesn’t apply here,” you said quickly, and quietly. “This is different, we are different.”
Taehyun lowered his chin. “We are fucked up.”
Taking a long, deep breath, you took a step away from him and spun in a slow circle, collecting your thoughts and your composure. “Friends, we said we can be friends.” Facing him, his eyes were solemn.
“Yeah, and be honest with me now that shock of seeing each other is gone,” he said. “You really think we can do that?”
A piece of you needed to make it work. Standing up here in this hallway now with him, coming to the full realization that he used to be the only stable thing in your life, you needed to make it work. He was your best friend, your other half, your partner in crime. Home, he was home.
“I said it downstairs, we can work for it,” you said. “I want you in my life, Taehyun. I need you in my life. We’re… family. I want my kids to know you, I want our kids to grow up together. Life feels right when we’re in a good place, when there isn’t so much space between us.”
“And what happens when that space gets too small?” Taehyun was a rock, eyes locked on yours as you spoke.
“It won’t,” you exhaled heavily, letting your knees give a bit. “We can-”
“It will,” Taehyun cut you off, closing the space between you completely. “It always does. It happened six years ago, it will happen again.” His tone was rough, but it didn’t correlate with the way he was gazing down at you. “Maybe you can pretend that we can try to be friends. But… I got a divorce ‘cause a girl I love helped me realize I was killing myself. And she was the only one who cared. For twenty years… you’re the only one who cared. You still are, and it hurts like hell.”
“Taehyun…”
“I told you I didn’t wanna go here,” he snickered, shaking his head. “Stupid of me to think that we could avoid it.” He stepped away from you, heading towards the staircase behind you. The loss of his warmth in front of you was disappointing. Turning around, cradling your daughter, you stopped him dead in his tracks.
“Bee Juice,” you said. He peered over his shoulder with one hand on the railing.
“What?”
“Bee Juice,” you nodded. “Mina’s sick, I didn’t bring anything with me. Do you think Joy has something?” Taehyuns eyes drew up and down your body, ending on the little one latched to your front.
“Um, I dunno,” he said. “I might? Minho was sick a little while ago when he was with Sana, lemme see if I brought anything with me.” When he walked by you he didn’t bother to look at you. Walking straight into his old bedroom, he left the door ajar. Unsure whether or not it was an invitation to follow him, you took a few timid steps into the doorway and felt every joint in your body tighten at the sight of his walls.
Posters, polaroid pictures and flags covered the dark grey paint, the artwork spilling onto the ceiling as well. His king sized bed was shoved into the far left corner, with what looked like a hundred pillows tossed onto the top. The comforter was still black, and fluffy. Your fingers can feel the softness without having to touch it.
A nightstand that once was messy and littered with life, was clean and housed a stack of three books he’d read religiously throughout the year, every year, and a lamp without a shade. There was a drawer on it that was all banged up, and you wondered if it was still full of things it shouldn’t be full of. Plenty of late nights were spent rummaging through the drawer in the dark, the light of the moon guiding you both through your bad decisions.
The dressers on the opposite wall were the same, and the walk in closet still had mirrors for doors. It was as if the years had been preserved, and this was a time capsule of beautiful mistakes you were sentenced for life to remember.
Taehyun rummaged through a suitcase at the end of his bed. He side eyed you as you walked in the door. You didn’t dare take a step closer to him or offer him help, because low and behold, he found what he was looking for, and more. As he pulled the orange bottle of Dayquil out of his bag, a small, round black bottle, one that photographers used for film, rolled out onto the floor and rattled loud. You both looked at it, then you looked at him before he grew the balls to look up too.
“Taehyun.”
“I don’t take them,” he muttered, looking up with only his eyes. “It’s been years, I swear. Even this,” he held up the bottle of cough medicine, “Nothing.”
Bee Juice was two words you weren’t expecting to hear this weekend. They were two words you hadn’t heard in a long, long time. In fact, the last time you even said them was probably in here in his room, with two other friends who’d join in on figuring out how much of the shit you can drink before you make yourselves sick. It was the type of high you’d never want to experience ever again. Just the thought of it turned your stomach. Taehyun was the only one to stick with it out of the four of you, the rest of you turned to other things, other drugs, or simply drinking, but he’d put that garbage in anything and everything.
Knowing he had the bottle on him made you nervous. Throughout his marriage you knew he wasn’t completely sober, he’d never grown out of that part of his life, he’d use it to cope. With how his marriage began, he was a child having a child, he became incredibly dependent on both bottles that came out of his bag.
“Why do you have it all with you?” you asked softly, hoping he’d talk it out.
Picking the bottle of pills off the floor he tossed them back into his suitcase and rubbed his forehead, his nervous eyes glancing to you a couple of times. “I don’t… I can’t explain it.”
“Try,” you said, taking a step toward him.
“I guess I just… I feel better, knowing it’s here, yanno?” Raking a hand through his hair exposing his forehead, he shrugged. “I don’t take any of it, but it’s here.” He faced you. “I’ve been sober for over a year, since I decided to leave her. I haven’t taken anything, I haven’t had a drink, I haven’t smoked anything.”
“I’m sober too,” you nodded, and watched as relief flooded his being. “It would be… six years.” Taehyun furrowed his brow. “But, it’s two, almost three.”
After a gulp Taehyun asked, “Don’t tell me… After we…”
“Yup,” you popped the ‘p’ and shot him a sarcastic smile. “It was just a… bottle, maybe.” Taehyun shook his head. “And, yanno, the more I think about it, it should really be nine years, but…”
“Six years ago we were getting fucked up at Beomgyu’s,” he said. One of the old friends you shared. He was at Rosie’s tenth birthday two years ago, but you hadn’t seen him since. The other friend was Yeonjun. He’s been off the grid since you were twenty-one. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
He shrugged again. “All of that was my fault.”
Scoffing, you walked further into his bedroom. “Taehyun, it was my choice to do it. You didn’t put the drugs in me.”
“Sometimes I did.”
“Yeah,” you sighed. “‘Cause I told you to.” Approaching his side slowly, you took the bottle from him and retreated a couple steps. “I’m gonna believe you, but only because you look good, Tae.”
“Thanks, Baby,” he whispered with a smirk.
“If Soobin hears you say that he’ll lose his mind,” you warned.
Throwing his hands out to the side, Taehyun audibly expressed his frustration. “That’s been your name since we were fifteen!”
“Yeah, when we started sleeping in the same bed,” you widened your eyes. Holding up the bottle, you thanked him and sulked into the hall, pausing to process… all of that.
You could hear him zipping up the suitcase, putting it back where he’d found it. Walking across the hall, wanting to avoid him when he left his bedroom, you open your door and quickly shut it behind you, propping yourself up against the wood with a breath. Bare, sage green walls glared at you from all angles. In the center of the room underneath one of the three windows was your bed, also king sized, with four different knitted blankets thrown on top joined by matching pillows. The mattress wasn’t nearly as crowded as Taehyun’s.
Two redwood nightstands were on either side of the bed, both empty. The two dressers on the opposite wall were empty as well, except for the picture frames sitting on top. Three photos. One of you, Taehyun, Yeonjun and Beomgyu at a park across town at some ungodly hour of the morning. The second was you and Taehyun, seventeen years old, with your cheeks squeezed together and your eyes crossed with your lips squished all silly. The third was you and your mother when you were just five years old, the same age as your boys. They may have learned to copy Soobins pout, but those boys were all you, and this photo was proof.
Your room was eerie compared to Taehyun’s, his for some reason had life, while yours was completely still and quiet. Laying Mina down on your bed where you used to sleep, you kiss her cheek and kneel down on the floor beside her, putting the Dayquil on the nightstand. Your two year old lifted her head and whined, holding out her arms for you.
“I’m gonna help you, Meens,” you whispered, unscrewing the top of the bottle. The smell smacked you in the face, almost making you gag. Gripping the bottle with one hand, you went to pour a little bit into the lid, but froze as the alarms went off in your brain. “What the hell,” you sighed, turning the bottle around to read it. “I can’t give you this. What am I doing?”
Mina found her thumb, shoving it in her mouth, her eyes fluttering shut.
Bringing the bottle to your nose, your eyes watered, and a chill ran down your spine. For a brief second you’re reminded of what it was like… How it used to be. How you’d walk by your parents totally fried, and they’d have no idea. The euphoria was so intense some nights all you could do was lay on Taehyun’s floor with your head in his lap while he and your friends listened to music you could barely make out.
You can feel his fingers running through your hair as your eyes shut, body vibrating at a frequency unknown to most, leaving you with nothing to do then hold onto him for some sort of stability. If you started to come down, when the rest of them were ready for more, you’d let Taehyun hold beneath your chin, coercing your lips apart to give you more to drink, sometimes from between his own lips.
Enchanted by the scent, lost in the memories, you didn’t even hear the bedroom door creak open.
“Babe?” Soobins voice bounced off the judgey walls. Jumping a mile, you whipped yourself around and fell onto your bottom on the floor. With half a smile on his face, you found your husband standing in the doorway holding up a box of children's Tylenol in his hand.
Catching a glimpse of the Dayquil, he took a breath and shut the door behind him, joining you at your side on the floor, tucking his long legs under him. Capping the bottle, you immediately handed it to him.
“Did you give her any of this?” he asked, making sure you were keeping your eyes on him. His tone wasn’t derogatory, but it was strict.
“No, I was just reading the label,” you said. “She can’t have it.”
Soobins nod was slow, and careful. “You know she can’t have this,” he said. “I realized what you had said after you walked away, that’s why I searched for this.” He gave the box a shake. “Jin found it in the back of their medicine cabinet.”
“Good,” you said, taking the Tylenol from him, getting the box open, taking out the bottle and the syringe it came with. “Little Miss needs it.”
Soobin glanced from the bottle in his hand, then to you. “Did you, uh… You didn’t take any of this did you?” His voice was soft, not the slightest bit accusatory.
“No.” Taking out the appropriate amount of medicine for Mina, you avoided Soobins eyes and tended to your daughter. Maneuvering the little ones thumb out of her mouth, and the syringe into it, she screwed her face up and tried to cry. “Oh, it’s gross, I know.”
Soobin put his elbows on the bed and grabbed Mina’s feet, playing with them to distract her. “She’s going to sleep for forever,” he said, then smiled as his daughter noted his presence in the room. “Hi, sweetie, you’re doing so good.” Calm in seconds, Mina focused on her father and swallowed the medicine, throwing her thumb back in her mouth as soon as she was finished.
“See?” you sneered. “A brat for me, an angel for you.” Thrusting the bottle back in the box, you accidentally tossed it onto Soobins lap. “Our kids hate me.”
“First of all,” Soobin eyed you, laying the box on the bed after he picked it up reluctantly. “She’s sick. She’s going to be a brat, she doesn’t know how to act. Second of all, our kids don’t hate you.” Studying you, you could tell he couldn’t place whether or not your behavior was purely satirical.
“They don’t listen to me,” you whispered. “They listen to you. I’m there to give them what they need, but they look up to you. You can handle them no matter what decibel they’re at. I can’t.”
After a glance to Mina who had dozed off, Soobin reached for one of your hands. “Where is this coming from?”
A shrug of your shoulders wasn’t enough to appease him.
“Talk to me.” His voice dropped a couple octaves. Another shrug.
“I just…” Vaguely gesturing around your room, you weren’t sure how to put it into words. How were you supposed to tell your husband that the ghosts of your past plastered in these walls haunted you to your very core?
What were you supposed to tell him? That a piece of you was still yearning to live the life you thought you were supposed to live? That you loved the boy across the hall, but you were both destined to live confined to the chains your mother loved to call family. That if nine years ago, Taehyun hadn’t dropped a lit match on top of your relationship doused in kerosene, everything would be perfect.
“Listen,” Soobin started softly, as if he read your inner turmoil on your forehead. “I know this is hard. I know it’s a lot. You’re doing a great job, being here, dealing with them all. You and Taehyun, you’re speaking, that’s what we wanted.”
“Soob, we’ve said so much,” you whispered, feeling your eyes well up with tears. “And I feel like it hasn’t been enough.”
“Sweetie, I don’t know if it’ll ever be enough.” Dragging his thumb over the back of your hand, Soobin bit his lip. “You guys have years, upon years, and a history so deep I don’t think you and I will ever share.”
“Don’t say that,” you cried, sniffling, crawling into his arms. Sitting in his lap, he wrapped his arms around your middle and placed his chin on your head. “I’m sorry, Soobin.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, still somehow level headed as ever. “I knew exactly what I was getting into when I asked that sleepless, hungover girl out on a date. Walking home with Beomgyu? From…”
“Oh god,” you groaned. “His brother's house.”
“Mm,” Soobin hummed, the memory a happy one for him, clearly. “You were beautiful. I always thought you were. Smudged mascara and all.” He got you to laugh, and for him that was all he needed. “I knew who you were, I knew what you did, I knew who you did, even though everyone else thought it was just Beomgyu.”
You picked your head up, eyebrows as low as they could be. “That is not when you knew.”
Soobin wiped a finger under one of your eyes, fixing the smudged mascara he apparently loved so much. “That is when I knew,” he nodded, letting a finger drag over your lips. “You get this… look in your eye when you see him. Still do.”
“I love you.” His smile grew from your whisper.
“I know,” he crooned. “I love you, too. So much. And so do our kids.” Pausing to nibble his lip like he was, he bobbed his head and whispered, “Work through what you’ve got to work through this weekend, but don’t make me look like an idiot.”
“Again,” you added, sensing he wanted to tack the word on to the end of his lament.
Six years ago, amidst what you called your gap year with Soobin, when the two of you took a break to cool off, to see if this was what you both wanted for yourselves. Soobin wanted to get married. You didn’t feel quite ready yet. Soobin knew where your head was stuck, so he unofficially set you free to sort out your thoughts.
It wasn’t a break up, the two of you didn’t part ways completely, but part of you wishes you had so you could’ve avoided the heartbreak surrounding Soobin when you told him what you ran back to, and where you had been. That winter was fuzzy, one you couldn’t piece together if it weren’t for Soobin’s ingenious memory. A few months later you were engaged, and pregnant, and married a month or so after that. You understood Soobin’s heart and his love for you and your family, but deciding to marry you was one thing he did that you couldn’t understand why.
“I wasn’t even going that far,” Soobin smirked. “But, thanks for letting me know I don’t have to worry about that.”
“You don’t,” you said. “I just want us in a good, decent place where we won’t want to rip each other's heads off. We get under each other's skin too easily.”
Soobin took a deep breath and turned his attention to his sleeping daughter. Her hand had slipped out of her mouth and was laying on her belly, her lips parted with steady breaths.
“K-O,” he joked, kissing your forehead. “Shall we go make sure Wreck It Ralph and Fix It Felix are okay downstairs?”
A smile pricked your lips. “You talkin’ ‘bout our boys, or Joy and Jin?”
Dinner was ready by six. Taehyun’s kids set the table while your twins followed them around carrying the dishes for them, carefully. Joy had no issue handing your five year olds two stacks of her finest, pure white ceramic dishes with the silverware thrown on top.
Once you and Soobin rejoined the chaos, you found Taehyun had beaten you to the kitchen. While the family hustled around the tile, cooking, putting dishes together, pouring drinks, he didn’t spare you glance. He was attentive to his children and his nephews, getting his hands on Wonwoo once to pass him to Jin so Joy could assist Rosie with her cranberry juice in a wine glass. You and Soobin met eyes and held in a laugh. When Sunoo asked if he could have a fancy glass as well, Soobin placed the boy's metallic blue tumbler full of milk in his hands and told him to find his seat at the table.
A long stretch of pine by the windows on the back end of the kitchen, the table was decorated beautifully already, but with the added pizazz of the dishes, candles and steaming food, you had to admit that Joy outdid herself for another year in a row. The warmth from the oven radiated around the room, wrapping your family in a cozy haze, keeping you snug by the frosted glass of the wide paneled windows. The snow hadn’t let up yet, and the kids were giddy.
Jin took his place at the head of the table, Joy beside him and Rosie across from her. Minho hopped into the seat next to his sister, leaving a seat available for you where Sunoo refused to sit. Chan quickly swiped it from you, wanting to spend more time with his cousin, which meant you got to sit on the end, across from Taehyun.
Soobin found himself next to Joy, Sunoo wanting to sit between his father and his uncle. The grown men couldn’t refuse his offer. Noticing who you were across from, Soobin shot you a soft smile and a mere nod of his head. Truthfully, after four kids the two of you didn’t get to sit next to each other anymore anywhere. The highchair at the other end of the table next to you could attest to that. Mina, feeling a bit more up for food now that she’d taken the medicine, was already reaching for the steamed buttery carrots that sat in front of her.
“Good job everybody,” Joy beamed. “Eat, please, eat.”
“Don’t gotta tell me twice!” Minho was smug, diving into one of the bowls nearby. Laughter rolled through the room, and everyone followed suit, filling their plates. It didn’t take long for ample chatter to fill the air, mostly the kids asking questions about Christmas and talking about school or the snow.
“But, I asked for a Playstation,” Minho said between bites, glancing at Chan. “Do you know what that is?” Your big eyed boy watched him in awe, shaking his head. “I’ll show you. I have almost every version, at least of the new ones. Some of them are so old.”
“You don’t have every version, Minnie,” Taehyun chuckled, sitting back in his chair, folding his arms across his broad chest. At the other end of the table Rosie was chatting away with her grandparents, Soobin listening in without presenting his judgment on his face.
“Yes I do, Dad,” Minho’s eyebrows shot into the sky. “Heeseung found me a PS One on eBay! He bought it for me weeks ago, it’s so cool.” Plopping a small scoop of sweet potatoes onto Mina’s plate, you glance at Taehyun who rolled his eyes.
“Oh,” he said, forcing a smile onto his face. “Well, I had no idea.” Chan asked Minho about the Playstation, the two boys were excited and curious. Taehyun drug his glare over toward you and blew a raspberry on his lips. It made Mina giggle.
“Heeseung?” Raising your brow, you smiled when he leaned over to your girl and blew another one, making her laugh even harder.
Taehyun sat back, satisfied his audience was entertained. “Yeah, Heeseung,” he said under his breath. Arms still folded, he shrugged. “Sana’s boyfriend.”
If you had anything in your mouth you would’ve choked, and nearly did on air. “When did that happen?” Dropping your tone to a whisper, you tried your best to keep this conversation between the two of you, unsure of how aware Joy and Jin were of the situation.
“Well, let’s see,” his entire demeanor dropped, a glint of something heavy flashing in his eyes. “They worked together for a few years-” “Sana worked?”
Taehyun smirked. “Focus please.”
“Sorry,” you breathed a laugh, tending to your daughter who whined for her drink.
“They were working together, they both did that buying shit, yanno?” Taehyun started to talk with his hands, waving one around to piece the story together. You both ignored your boys as they informed him he used a bad word. “He was one of her closest work friends, he would be at our house from time to time to hang out, he came to all the kids birthday parties-”
“Oh my god, the stone faced babe with the nose,” you gasped, placing your chin in your hand.
Taehyun waited for you to finish. You felt your cheeks flush after realizing you had cut him off again.
“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear you say that,” he smiled. “Yes, him.”
“I thought he was gay.” You both spoke at once, breaking into crass laughter that triggered the table to look your way.
Joy, chewing away behind a promising grin, with bright eyes said, “See? I knew you two would be fine.”
Jin, focused on his plate, frowned. “Were we not fine?” Looking down to the other end of the table, you and Taehyun sat up straight like you’d been caught. Taehyun’s father waited for an answer, shifting his gaze between his wife and his family. “What’d I miss?”
Soobin lowered his chin and leaned into Sunoo, whispering something to him about his dinner. The five year old pouted, waving away the meat on his plate. Pressing a kiss to his son's head, Soobin took it off his plate and put it on his own.
“You didn’t miss anything,” Taehyun brushed the matter off, picking up his fork to shovel food into his mouth, hoping that’d get you two out of the hot seat. Your mother snickered, using the cloth napkin that was at every setting to wipe the corners of her mouth.
“You two are funny,” she said. Soobins eyes flickered up toward you, then quickly shot back to his son. Rosie was leaning forward, her elbows on the table, enthralled with what was about to ensue. A drama lover, just like her mother. “My love,” Joy said, turning to her husband. “They weren’t speaking for two years. I had just found out today, when the Choi’s arrived.”
“The Choi’s,” you scoffed, shaking your head. Leave it to her to address your family like you were all foreign visitors. “Mom, we can let it go. It’s not a big deal.”
“The hell it isn’t!?” Joy dropped her fork.
“Bad word!” Chan and Sunoo looked to Soobin for help, but all he could do was shake his head and quiet them down.
“Joy, really,” Taehyun added weight to his words.
“Joy this, Mom that,” she appeared ready to leap out of her chair. “Look at us! All of us here. A family.”
You snuck a glance at Taehyun who had his eyes glued to Joy. He seemed like he was sinking backward into his chair, hoping it would crumble or somehow swallow him whole, anything to get him out of this room.
“This is how it should be. Always.” Joy whipped her head toward the two of you. “You’re both so far away, I’m grateful we were able to spend this weekend together, aren’t you?” Nods of everyone's heads was enough to encourage her to go on. “I miss this, I miss you both being here, running around upstairs. Hearing you laugh, hearing you talk to each other… It feels like it was.”
Jin reached for his wife’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “We feel whole having you all here.” He made it a point to look at each of you. With another glance to Taehyun you watched him roll his eyes.
“To find out about you not talking, not seeing each other… That hurt,” Joy wore the apparent pain on her face. It made you want to laugh. “You were best friends. Every waking moment was spent together, I can’t imagine anything that would break that up.”
Swapping a glance now, Taehyun finally looking at you, you shared a deep breath.
“What would they do together?” Rosie asked, chiming in to take the attention. Joy and Jin laughed.
“Oh, they’d do everything, Rosie,” Jin smiled. “They went everywhere together, they had the same friends. You know the cabinet full of movies we keep underneath the television?” The twelve year old nodded. “It’s theirs, they collected those together and would watch them all the time.”
“We would wake up some mornings and they’d be fast asleep on the couches together,” Joy smiled at Jin, then turned to her granddaughter. “They would spend weekends in the living room with their friends if they were too bored to stay upstairs.”
Jin laughed to himself, shooting a finger in the air. “I can remember getting up for work one morning, and there were four of them knocked out at the kitchen table. Back when we had the booth seat that wrapped around the circular table?”
“Yes!” Joy clapped her hands together, like the memory was near and dear to heart, like it didn’t have you cringing and wishing they’d both shut up. “I still have that picture! They had to be around nineteen,” Joy looked at Rosie, “Our house was clearly the cool house.”
Taehyun forced air through his lips and shook his head, and you’d agree if you weren’t paralyzed in place. Thankfully your boys were occupied between Soobin and Minho, not letting any of these memories sink in.
Our house was clearly the cool house.
You wanted to scream back in her face that her house was the house with little to no supervision, and that was why you and your friends would come here to get shitfaced again and again. Her cool house taught you how to mix drinks before you were of legal age, pummeling you headfirst into blurry years you can hardly put together. Their cool house and their happy memories of you two asleep in the living room after a night of movies you’d hardly watch, the two of them completely unaware that you and Taehyun would be-
“Oh!” Joy exclaimed, knocking you from your spiraling thoughts. Her earrings swung vigorously at her ears as she bounced around, excited.
“Oh!” Mina copied her. The room was buzzing with energy, Taehyun’s kids wound up from listening to these stories, and your children messing with the food on their plates. Soobin and Taehyun were stiff, as were you, pointed gazes beckoning Joy to shut the fuck up.
“Videos!” Joy cheered, slamming her hands onto the wood edge of the table. She looked up and down the table. “We have videos,” she said, pointing to you and Taehyun, “Of you two!” Turning to Jin she gripped his wrist and shook it around. “We’ll do that thing on the TV, connect your phone to it.” Taehyun shot you a look, brows slightly concerned. Joy’s body whirled back around. “How fun to show the kids! Oh, I’ve always wanted to be this kind of family during the holidays.”
Rosie beamed with Joy, smiling wider than you’ve ever seen. She truly was a beautiful little girl underneath her wanna-be old attitude. “They did this on Fuller House at Christmas.”
Joy's hands clapped together once more, her expression falling smug. “Oh my god,” she said, looking straight at you. “We’re gonna be a Full House family.”
Stomach churning, worried about what was in those videos that probably haven’t been looked at… ever, you sat back in your chair as Joy and Rosie fell into a discussion over the difference between Full House and Fuller House. Chan asked Minho about the band on his hoodie, and Soobin listened to Sunoo talk about Fuller House too, the five year old pretending as if he knew what that was.
Watching them all move on, even Taehyun who helped Minho out with the pronunciation of the band he wore, you crossed your arms and gulped. How developed were five year old brains? Were they about to witness footage of you in your early twenties that would permanently alter how they saw their mother? Would there be something within the videos that was supposed to stay hidden, or in the past? What would it do to Soobin, to watch you at your worst, his wife, the mother of his children?
Underneath the table something tapped your ankle. Glancing to Chan, who probably kicked you, you found the boy sitting on his feet, facing his cousin. Something tapped your ankle again, then two feet encased it, pulling it away from you. Shooting a look at Taehyun, he was focused on his son. No one was paying attention, so you took a peek.
It was Taehyun, his legs quickly wrapping around your own, his smile growing as you looked back up at him. His focus was on his son thankfully, he wouldn’t get to watch your eyes bug out of your head.
“They started in the eighties technically,” Taehyun said to the boys, shamelessly rubbing his legs on yours. “Grohl didn’t join until the nineties.”
“Who is Grohl?” Chan asked, eyes narrowed and focused. Taehyun shifted his legs, crossing one over the other, his foot nudging your thigh shamelessly. “Dave Grohl,” he smiled. “He played the drums for Nirvana. He had long hair down to here,” Taehyun gestured at the length below his shoulders, “And he was so cool.” His foot traveled further up your thigh, you fought away the chill that ran down your spine.
“Wait, he was on your wall upstairs,” Chan said.
“He sure is,” Taehyun nodded. “They all are.”
Chan leaned over the table, little elbows holding him up. “Uncle Taehyun, you're so cool, too. Like Grohl.”
Taehyun flashed his grin, looking at you for a few seconds. “Yeah, I am.”
“On those videos we’ll get to see how cool he really was, right Dad?” Minho was smiling, looking from his cousin to his father, who hadn’t stopped looking at you. His gaze shifted to something of slight concern, both of you knowing what the other was thinking.
Taehyun gave his son a slight shrug. “Maybe we will.” He shot Minho a smile, and when the two cousins started to eat and talk amongst one another, the smile fell and the grip he had around your leg loosened.
“I don’t wanna watch ‘em either,” you mumbled. Taehyun shook his head, a miniscule moment only for you to see before he sighed. And it wasn’t brought up again.
“Cell phones are for big kids.”
Chan wasn’t impressed. Tiny fingers pressing into the marble of the kitchen counter, dangling backward on his heels, the five year old whined and whined. Drying the last dish that Soobin handed to you over his shoulder, he shot a look to his son, one that whipped him into shape.
“You can play with Minho’s for now, okay?” Giving him a smile, you placed the dish in a cabinet and tossed the towel onto the counter by the sink. The little one murmured his agreement, hurrying off to follow the other kids' shouts.
Soobin, after folding the towel you threw, slid his arms around your shoulders from behind, pressing a kiss to your neck, one that sent a chill down your spine. Grabbing onto his hands you peered toward him and smirked.
“Let’s skip the movies,” you whispered in the empty kitchen.
Soobin’s grin widened. “Oh, no, I think I want to see this.” With a groan you spun around in his arms, his hands falling to your waist. Cupping his cheeks, you pouted.
“Trust me, you don’t.”
“Darling, I know,” his tone was soft, gentle. “I already know what to expect. After everything, don’t you think if I had a problem I wouldn’t be standing here?”
Averting your gaze to the floor, you shrugged. “I just don’t know what’s gonna be on them, that’s all. I never really remember them having cameras around.”
Soobin took a finger to your chin, tipping it upward for him to kiss the tip of your nose. “It’s okay. Surely if it was anything too bad Jin or Joy wouldn’t show it. Or, they would’ve said something to you by now.”
“Joy’s been acting weirder than usual,” you said, dragging your thumbs along your husband's cheeks. “She’s always inappropriate, and has no filter, but… I dunno. What if watching this stuff makes her realize her daughter was fucked up almost everyday of her life since, like, high school. What if they caught us doing the dr-”
Feet scurrying in the hall stole your attention, both you and Soobin turning to the doorway in record time.
“Who was that?” You breathed. Soobins grip tightened around your waist. Shooting him a look, a wide eyed, worried look, he returned an unknowing one back. “Shit,” you sighed.
“Bad word,” Soobin whispered. For a few seconds neither of you moved, and then it was all too funny, both of you breaking out into giggles that echoed in the empty air. “Let’s go find some seats, if the little’s didn't take them all. I’ll grab the baby, I’ll meet you there.”
Wonwoo, snug in his carseat, had been snoozing on and off throughout dinner. Soobin tucked his arm beneath the handle and hoisted the carrier up, following you into the living room through an archway that was halfway down the hall toward the opposite staircase.
Inside the glorious room with the giant screen, expensive sound system and cozy grey, velvety couches, the boys had all piled up on the loveseat, the twins on either side of Minho. All three of them had kicked off their shoes, the two pairs of dress shoes flung sporadically amongst Minho’s sneakers. Rosie was in the armchair that matched the other furniture, her legs crossed delicately while she tapped away at her phone screen.
A large couch lay between the loveseat and the chair, a couch you had spent many nights on. Out of all rooms to redecorate and change again and again, you really had hopes that Joy would’ve chosen this one. The deep bluish-grey of the walls that reflected the furniture had your stomach rolling. While warm and cozy to others, this room made your blood run cold.
A square glass coffee table was in the center of the room. A vase of Christmas flowers spilled out on top of it, and books and magazines circled the sparkling vase. Crystalized, glass coasters were strategically placed over the top, with matching glasses at the bar behind the sitting area. You didn’t even need to look, you could tell exactly where each bottle of liquor lived. It never changed. For twenty years, it’s been the same. You did glance toward it as you walked in the room, and Soobin took note.
Jin and Joy stood by the television, mumbling to one another, trying to figure out how to connect their phones to the screen. The point of Joy's heels dug into the plushness of the rug beneath her feet that extended throughout the room, all the way to the bar. On her tush, staring up at her grandparents working, sat Mina. She was barefoot as well, teetering around in her socks. When she caught wind you had walked into the room she whined and started to crawl toward you.
“No walkin’, huh?” Soobin laughed from behind you as you scooped her up into your arms. “Medicine must be wearing off,” you said, kissing her cheek. Weaving around the furniture you chose to sit on the edge of the couch, letting Soobin plop down beside you, setting Wonwoo on the floor next to his feet. The infant had just opened his eyes, blinking a few times at his father.
“Hey, Soobin,” Jin began, turning around. He didn’t look up from his phone. “Think you can help me figure this out? I thought I knew how…”
“Of course,” your husband smiled, on his feet in an instant.
Wonwoo’s face scrunched up like it would before he would cry, and sure enough, he started to cry. Mina expressed her shock on her face, looking at you, then her baby brother. “Baby cry,” she said, pointing toward him. Shifting Mina to the side, you sat her down on the couch cushion she was nearly swallowed up by, then reached forward for Wonwoo.
“Get him, Mama,” Mina said quietly. The two year old was always intrigued when it came to the baby. Curious as ever, her attentive eyes studied you as you carefully placed him in your hands and lifted him out of the carseat, kissing his cheek before cradling him in your arms.
“Shut it up,” Rosie groaned from somewhere in the room you didn’t care to acknowledge, but could feel the heat in Soobin’s eyes as he shot her a glare.
Mina leaned over your arms, holding onto your bicep with all of her might, watching you bounce Wonwoo to calm him down. Her pink cheeks and glassy eyes were full of adoration. “Shhh, baby. Shhh.” Wonwoo sucked in a deep breath, quieting down at the sound of his sister's voice.
“Good job, Meens,” you gasped, smiling at her. “Say it again, tell him he’s okay.”
A wail about to escape the infant was stolen by his sister's caring words. “S’okay, baby. Shhh.” As the crying came to an end, Mina gasped and looked to you for approval. Putting one of your arms around her, you tucked her into your side and kissed her head. “Best big sister,” you said.
“Boooring,” Rosie sang. Looking over at her, she was looking back at you. Her phone was on her lap, and her chin was in her hand. For a second she appeared as her mother, sharp eyes, pursed lips and pointed cheekbones. Since she was born it was hard to believe Taehyun had a part in her procreation. For years you had a quiet, delusional, but harmless joke that Sana made Rose herself to trap Taehyun with her. Anything to ease the pain from the night you found out about her. Milliseconds away from opening your mouth, unsure of what to say to the twelve year old you used to blame for ruining your life, her father hustling into the living room took the heat off of you.
“Did I miss it?” Breathless, he glanced about the room. Finding that nothing had even happened yet, he sighed and trudged his way across the carpet.
“Daddy!” Rosie shouted, throwing her arms into the air. Taehyun beamed, a light pouring out of his heart like it was the first time the child had ever said the word. It made you wonder how often she showed him love. This was the first time today you’ve seen her give him any sort of attention.
Taehyun, holding his own arms out, rushed for his daughter and caught her in his arms as she leapt out of the chair and fell into them. She squeezed him tight, pressing her cheek into his chest with her eyes shut. The smile on his face made your heart flutter. Holding his firstborn, his little girl, the one who stole his heart the second she was born… The only one he’d love more than any other girl who walked into his life. It made you smile, truly. When Taehyun was with his kids, he was happy. And whenever you witnessed moments like this, it healed something broken within yourself.
Sure, that little girl he held and sat down on his lap in the oversized armchair wrecked everything between you two twelve years ago. No, he didn’t care that it wrecked everything you and him once shared. But, he was happy. And you’d do anything, give up anything, to see him happy. Even if it meant watching him walk away after you begged him not go through with fathering the spawn of Satan.
“Here we go!” Jin cheered as the television flashed and the scene of two kitchen remodel’s ago popped up on the screen. The boys' necks snapped to the TV, excitement buzzing off of them as they bounced around to get even more comfortable. Chan had an arm wrapped around Minho’s. “Okay everybody! Thanks to my amazing son-in-law,” Soobin smirked and shook his head as he hurried to sit down beside you, Mina getting squished between your bodies, “We get to see some home movies.” The kids erupted in cheers. Well, the boy's couch did. Rosie just nibbled one of her nails.
“Oh, I am SO ready,” Joy shook her shoulders. “I’ll get the lights, everyone has a seat?” Your mother scrambled for a remote on top of the shelf below the television, clicking it toward the ceiling to shut off the lights built into the top of the room. “If we’re lucky maybe we’ll get to see some of you guys as babies!” She gestured to all the kids as she worked her way through the room to sit on the other side of Soobin, Jin joining her soon after with his phone in hand.
The boys whispered quiet things to one another, and Rosie said something to Taehyun. Soobin gave you a sideways smile, slipping an arm around your back, over your shoulders.
And the clips, shuffled throughout the years, began.
~ august 18th, 2010 ~
Windows open in the house, a refreshing summer breeze flowing through the white curtains that hung to the floor, everything was perfect. Absolutely perfect. The sun had set about an hour ago, leaving everything washed in a deep orange haze that would linger for another twenty minutes.
Dressed in soft checkered high waisted shorts with a white cropped tee on top, one that you stole from Taehyun and cut in half, your bare feet slammed on the wood of the second floor as you darted from your bedroom toward the stairs to the kitchen. Laughter flooded the air, coming out of you, straight from your heart. Gripping the railing, you’re seconds away from leaping down to the dual level landing, but skinny arms wrap around your waist, yanking you backward, lifting you in the air. Screeching, you curl your knees into your chest and accept defeat, throwing your head backward onto his shoulder.
“Lemme go!” Your cackles were meaningless, and he wouldn’t listen anyway. Stumbling backward into one of the walls you’re certain his elbow almost went through, he laughed and put you down on your feet, making sure you didn’t fall over. “Gyu is here!”
“I don-care,” Taehyun breathed, whirling you around in his arms to press you against the wall, caging you in with his hands planted on the drywall. His smile was wide, bright, and blurry. “How dare you leave m’like this.” Glancing down between the two of you, you followed his eyes and almost snorted, throwing your head back again, this time against the wall.
Heart pounding in your chest, skin ablaze with warmth, veins pumping, extremely intoxicated (both of you), you throw your arms around his shoulders and grip his neck, clawing with your nails, gently. Taehyun sucked a harsh breath between his teeth and let his forehead fall onto yours, his smile still evident on his glistening lips as your hands traveled down his body, over his t-shirt, slipping within the waistband of his sweats where he was bare, wearing nothing beneath them.
“Slut,” you muttered within the shared air, making both of you laugh.
“Mm, mhm, hang on,” he mumbled, sliding a hand beneath your shirt, purposely dragging his fingers lightly up your side to tickle you before he grabs a handful of one of your breasts, where you were bare, wearing nothing beneath the fabric. His smile fell into a smirk when he watched you gasp. “Slut,” he whispered, tone incredulously harsh.
“Stop, Gyu’s here,” you said within a deep breath, feeling your knees buckle.
Taehyun’s brows plummeted. “You know he don’t care. Once he takes what we got he’ll be on another planet, won’t even be able to tell if you’re on top or if he’s takin’ you from the back-”
“M-my moms here.” Your hushed tone and blushed cheeks had his ego blooming with utmost power, and you knew it too.
“Um,” he chuckled. “Never stopped us before, Baby.”
“You two up there?” Joy’s voice carried up the stairs, making the two of you leap a part, taking your hands back to yourselves. “Beomgyu is here!”
Taehyun looked you up and down, licked his lips and shook his head. “We’ll be right down!”
With a deep breath you glanced down to his sweats, where he was still hard, eager for you. Shooting him a quick wink, he groaned from his chest, letting out a laugh after you whispered, “Slut,” and hurried down the stairs.
Balancing once your feet hit the floor, you reared to the side and almost knocked into a wall full of pictures, but a pair of strong hands caught your shoulders before you went down. Looking up at the boy almost a foot taller than you, his shoulder length, shaggy dark hair made you grin. Skin pale and cheeks rosy, Beomgyu was stunning, and pure boy, from his smile to his lanky, defined build.
“Start without me?” he grumbled, smoothing out your hair. “Where’s the loser?”
“I can hear you!” Taehyun shouted from upstairs, getting a giggle out of you.
Beomgyu shot you a lazy smile and shook his head. “You guys are so stupid.”
“I’m hungry, actu-lly,” you whispered, leaning into him on your tiptoes, throwing your arms around his shoulders to hug him.
Beomgyu laughed, wrapping an arm around your back, pressing his hand into your bare skin. Turning around so he could guide you into the kitchen, from over your shoulder he spots Joy, at the counter messing with a new iPhone, holding it up toward the two of you.
Standing on the top of Beomgyu’s shoes, letting him waltz you around the kitchen, you hear your mother laugh and tip your head backward, noticing she was filming you and Beomgyu.
“Mommy!” you shouted into the air, laughing like crazy.
“Oh, you guys are so cute,” Joy smiled, laughing with you, making sure the camera was catching everything. “Where’s Taehyun? He finally let you two spend some time alone?”
Scrunching your face up in disgust, you stood up straight to face Beomgyu, finding him making the same exact face. Laughter corrupted you, going completely limp in his arms.
Footsteps pounded down the stairs, and Taehyun appeared through the archway, his hair pushed back, his skin alive with what looked like a gleam of sweat. Rushing toward you and Beomgyu, Taehyun grabbed a fistful of his friend's hair and yanked his head back, clamping his teeth on the base of his neck, making the boy yelp. Watching Taehyun as he parted from him, the indentation left on his skin turned your stomach, made you want to drag your tongue over the marks.
“Gyu’s mine, Joy,” Taehyun teased, releasing him. He jabbed a finger into your side, laughing as you shrieked, then approached Joy, putting his face up in the camera. “How do I look? Good, probably.” He winked at the camera and laughed, looking up at Joy who giggled behind the phone.
Adjusting your arms around Beomgyu’s shoulders, you hike your legs up his side and wrap them around his waist, going full koala on his front. He let out a gasp and caught you, his hands gripping the underside of your thighs, fingers digging into your skin as you nuzzled your face into his neck.
“You’re gonna get in trouble,” he whispered to you, still laughing, the camera catching none of his words.
“Um!” You half shouted, taking the attention. “What if Gyu is MINE!”
Meeting Taehyun’s eyes you could see the jealousy that immediately pooled within them. You knew he had to keep his cool in front of Joy, and her camera. Normally you wouldn’t be pulling stunts like this, but you were high. You were high and needy for him, you couldn’t let this opportunity go.
“Uh oh, Taehyun, you’ve got competition,” Joy played right along, fueling the intoxicated fire.
“You have three seconds,” Taehyun said, his hardened glare hitting you right where you wanted it to. “One…” Laying your head on Beomgyu’s shoulder, you hummed and smiled, letting your eyes close.
“Two!”
Beomgyu bounced you in his arms, laughing, trying to get you to move, but you wouldn’t budge.
“What happens on three!” Joy was ecstatic, beaming behind her phone, her eyes darting between all three of you.
“Yeah, what happens on three,” you teased, shooting Taehyun the calmest smile you could possibly conjure.
“Wouldn’t you love to find out,” he gritted his teeth. “Three!”
A scream came out of you as Taehyun darted toward you and Beomgyu, his arms grabbing your waist, pulling you off of your friend. Beomgyu stumbled back, ready to catch you both if you fell over, his laughter bouncing through the air along with your own. Taehyun put you on your feet, spun you around, then crouched down and threw you over his shoulder.
“Tae!” Reaching your arms out to Beomgyu, you kicked your feet and almost kicked him in the face. “Gyu, help me,” you giggled.
Taehyun turned to him and shot him a wicked grin. “Let’s go.” Looking at Joy, and her camera, he winked again. “See ya, Joy.”
“Bye,” Joy smiled. “Good luck, Beomgyu.” The boy gave her his charming smile, and followed you and Taehyun upstairs, out of the sight of the camera, and your mother.
“What happened on three?” Minho inquired, looking out amongst the group as the video ended.
Unbelievable that was the first video to play. You can vaguely recall what had happened before you walked into the kitchen attached to Beomgyu, and you can barely put anything together as to what happened after.
You have no idea what happened on three. Taehyun had no idea what happened on three, you were sure of it. After he ran up the stairs with you hanging over his shoulder like a helpless ragdoll, you’re pretty sure the three of you drank until you passed out in your bed. Waking up, you can remember having an arm thrown over Beomgyu’s bare waist where he laid on his back with his arms over his head, upside down on the covers. Taehyun was the only one laying properly, fully clothed, his legs tangled with your own.
“How old were you guys?” Rosie asked, smiling at her father.
“Nineteen,” Taehyun said quietly, his focus on the TV.
Joy and Jin were swiping through the phone, too occupied to pay attention to anything anyone was saying.
“How did you pick up my mom like that?” Sunoo asked Taehyun, eyes wide. His uncle gave him a soft smile.
“I’m pretty strong,” he shrugged.
“Uncle Beomgyu was cute,” Rosie giggled, nibbling on one of her fingernails. Taehyun simply laughed and shook his head. The twelve year old turned to look at you, and you stiffened beneath her curious gaze. “You guys were dating?”
“No,” you answered fast. A little too fast. “He was one of my best friends, one of… our best friends.” Taehyun got the courage to look at you, both of you sharing the smallest, most innocent look just as Joy clicked play on the next video.
~ june 3rd, 2012 ~
The sun beating down on your bare back was anything but comforting. Standing in your backyard with a crystal champagne glass in your hand on the edge of the commotion, you eyed the guests waltzing about in their dress clothes with a grimace.
Atop the balcony of the porch, pink streamers and pink balloons hung down, keeping the place on theme. Pink plates, pink tablecloths, pink cutlery, pink candy, pink napkins, pink, pink, pink… You were sick of it. All the pink.
Women and men, most you didn’t even know, all paraded around with smiles and witty comments of grace for you and your family and the beautiful home that you have.
Oh, it’s just glorious isn’t it?
Yes, thank you my mother knows how to spend that man's money, that’s for certain.
He hee!
Ha ha!
It meant nothing. This whole event, it meant nothing. It felt like some sort of glorified apology.
We’re so sorry my son knocked up your daughter, here, have a disgustingly expensive baby shower, on us!
Downing the rest of your glass, you placed it on the tray of a waiter who came close to you and took two full ones off of it. Knocking back one of them real quick, you returned it to where it came from and decided to nurse the other.
Messing with one of the thin straps of your dress that dug into your shoulder, a floor length floral thing that Joy picked out for you a couple weeks ago, you groaned and cracked your neck, rubbing the muscle with a sigh. Across the party you spot your mother doting on the guest of honor, Sana, wearing a baby pink strapless gown. Her black hair was pinned up in a bun with a pink ribbon tied around it.
She was glowing, and you hated it.
Her belly was round as ever, almost one month away from popping. It was the only thing on her to change throughout this pregnancy, not that you were keeping track. She kept her slender figure, her smooth skin, her bright eyes, her luxurious hair… It was wretched. Maybe she was just nineteen, and that was it. You couldn’t believe your family, or hers, was allowing any of this to happen.
Jin hovered around her with his camera, making sure he captured every detail about this momentous day, this memorable occasion. His first grandchild, a baby girl that you knew he would love no matter where she came from. He and Joy were either in shock, or they truly were the ditzy idiots they made themselves out to be.
You didn’t think you’d be able to drink enough champagne to make it through.
Pressing your glossed lips to the rim of your glass, you let the drink spill into you, finishing it quick, actively pursuing another. Hurrying into the house, slamming the sliding door shut, the mouth watering smell of food and baked goods hit you, drawing you toward the kitchen. Heels clicking on the floor, you walked as fast as the torture devices could take you until you were kicking them off, picking them up by the strap, letting them dangle between two fingers. Stepping into the doorway of the kitchen, completely new and redone, everything a sparkling shade of blue, you find, like, eleven women standing around talking with their noses in the air. You didn’t know a soul.
Spinning around on your toes, desperate for an escape, you rushed into the living room where some of the guys were hiding out with a couple of random kids. Beelining for the bar in the back of the room, you drop your heels on top of it, push by two guys standing nearby and bring yourself behind it. Grabbing onto the neck of a tequila bottle, you acquire a shot glass from one of the shelves and fill it up to the top. It went down with ease, you were already filling it up for a second when a hand took the bottle from you, letting some of the alcohol spill onto the bartop.
“Alright,” Beomgyu said, holding the tequila hostage, watching you take the second shot. His gaze lingered on your lips, even after you ran your tongue over them. Once you slammed the glass on the counter and audibly expressed your relief with a happy sigh, he narrowed his eyes. “Do you want me to take you somewhere else? You know Jungkook said you could stay at his house while… this happened.”
Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, your lipgloss smearing across the skin, you rolled your eyes. “Your brother doesn’t care that much.”
Beomgyu nodded profusely. “Yes, he does. You know he does.”
“Stupid, it’s stupid,” you muttered, reaching for the bottle he held away from you. “Lemme have it.”
“If you’re gonna get plastered, that’s stupid,” Beomgyu said. “It won’t make him talk to you.”
A guttural laugh escaped you. “You think I want him to talk to me?!”
The boy with long, shaggy hair that framed his face spectacularly softened his eyes. “Let me take you to Jungkook’s, please.” He planted both hands on the bar, leaving the tequila unattended.
Leaning forward, placing your elbows on the counter, you pretended to debate his offer, then snagged the bottle back instead, taking a swig straight from the bottle. Beomgyu sighed, heavily, then circled the bar to stand beside you. He reached up for his own glass and stole the bottle from you, filling both the shot glasses.
“Not gonna let you do it alone,” he said, handing you your little glass. Holding his in the air, you clinked them together and took the shot, smiling with Beomgyu. “Besides… he’s high, anyway.”
Tilting your head side to side, you laughed. “He’s always high.”
Beomgyu refilled the glasses and watched you knock it back. Picking his up, he studied it, then studied you. Big, beautiful brown eyes took you in, swallowed you whole. “I’m sorry,” he said.
You brushed it off with a shrug. “Sorry for what, Gyu.”
He gulped, shaking his head slightly before he took his shot, placing it down with a knock on the bar. “All of this,” he gestured around at all of the pink. Beomgyu never discussed what went on between you and Taehyun. Ever. It was rare. “I just… I’m sorry.”
Taking a deep breath, you wallowed in his sorrow for a moment. “He’s stupid,” you muttered, looking down at the shot glasses, messing with them to keep your hands busy. Feeling a buzz already, you couldn’t stop the words from coming out, or the tears. “Gyu, why did he do this?”
A heavy breath fell from his lips as he lifted a hand to brush away a tear. “I dunno.”
“I mean, she… she came out of nowhere, and then this happens?!” you waved your arms around, Beomgyu nodding along, encouraging you to keep going. “She’s a kid, he’s a kid, we’re… We’re kids. He’s throwing the rest of his life away, doesn’t he know that?! Sana’s a total bitch, what the hell does he see in her anyway!?”
“You got me there,” he said, pouring two more shots, one he took fast.
“I mean, like, do you see it? What’s the appeal? Do you think she’s hot?” Taking your shot you missed the way he totally checked you out.
“He totally downgraded,” he mumbled, pouring two more shots.
“Please,” you snickered, following suit, drinking the alcohol. A hiccup came out of you, one that made Beomgyu laugh. “Sana’s gorgeous and you know it.”
“Yeah, but she’s not you,” he said, perking a brow. You took a step closer to him, laying an arm on his shoulder, hooking it around his neck.
Narrowing your eyes, you smirked. “You just mean he won’t share her.”
Beomgyu’s eyes flickered to your lips, his tongue darting out between his. “I’m gonna miss this.”
“Just ‘cause he and I are done doesn’t mean we have to be,” you whispered, and he shook his head.
“You’re his,” he said. “Always have been, always will be. I don’t wanna get Yeonjun’d, I’ll keep my distance.”
Digging your fingers into his shoulder, you took one last long, good look at him. And he did the same to you. The alcohol held your heart together for the moment, but you knew once it wore off you’d be falling head first into the most debilitating heartbreak you’ve ever felt. No one had a clue what was supposed to happen after this day was over.
“You’re still my friend, Gyu.”
He raised a hand and placed it on top of yours, giving it a decent squeeze. “Always have been, always will be.”
Raising yourself on your tiptoes, you pressed your lips to his cheek and gave him a swift kiss before you stumbled back out to the backyard, making sure to grab the bottle of tequila first. People were still swarming, how long were baby showers supposed to be? Doing your best to stand up straight, you wandered across the patio without being noticed by a soul, and planted yourself in a seat underneath the shade of the balcony.
Twisting the top off of the bottle you took a long swig, falling back against the cushion with a giggle as you swallowed. You watched eagerly as girls who were clearly friends of Sana, dressed in tight dresses and high strappy heels, talked with one another and sipped on their champagne delicately, showing off their accessories and touching up their makeup as they spoke. They took tiny bites of their food and judged others around them with their eyes, you could feel it.
Another drink from the bottle. You were finally at the point where it felt like nothing mattered. Jin was still parading around with his phone, catching footage of people saying kind words to the baby and the mom to be. Overhearing most of it, it made you laugh, acquiring a judgemental glare from one of Sana’s minions. Not one person had a word to say about Taehyun. It was all Sana, Sana, Sana, and baby, baby, baby.
“Stupid,” you mumbled, sinking down on the cushion.
You were so focused on the others you didn’t recognize the body that approached you, snatching the tequila from you, dropping your heels on your lap. Jumping, startled as they hit your thighs, you sprung up and nearly toppled forward.
“Hey!” you shouted, looking up at the blurry figure. His dark hair and black button down made you laugh, loud. “No fucking way.”
“Shut up,” he muttered. “Pull yourself together.”
Gasping, you pressed a hand to your chest. “Pull myself together? Last I heard you were poppin’ molly at your own baby shower.” Taehyun groaned, crouching down to level with you. “Yanno, Gyu said this wouldn’t make you talk to me, who’s gonna tell him that he was wrong?”
“Tell him yourself,” Taehyun nodded to Beomgyu walking along the edge of the patio, Sana’s group of friends shamelessly checking him out. He pretended not to see them. It was laughable.
“GYU!” you shouted, catching his attention. He already knew, he sent you the smallest smile. Sana’s friends glared at you again. “He doesn’t want any of you, don’t even try,” you waved towards them, turning back to Taehyun who had buried his head in his hand.
“Baby, please,” he whispered.
“Baby?” you scoffed. “Your girlfriend over there is the one with the baby, Tae. Did you already forget? I know it happened so fast, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“Stop,” he spoke through his teeth, looking up at you with a vengeance. “Please, stop. Don’t make this worse than it already is.”
Catching you off guard, you slid back down in the chair and furrowed your brows. “What are you talking about?”
Taehyun, tired, intoxicated, wobbly on his feet, shook his head and sighed. “I dunno what I’m doing,” he said under his breath.
Lifting a hand, you poked his nose. “Then… you shouldn’t have done it.”
He shot to his feet, glaring down at you. Your body reacted, reaching up for him.
“No,” you whispered. “Come back.”
Taehyun scanned the backyard. “No,” he said, taking one more look at you before joining Sana and her parents where they were sitting with Jin and Joy.
A tear slipped down your cheek, you think. Taehyun smiled, or pretended to smile, while he spoke to her parents. He looked like he was saying nice things to Sana, probably asking her if she was alright, showering her with attention. Attention that used to be yours. It was attention he was allowed to give her in front of these people. That attention was never allowed to be yours. It wasn’t ever meant for you. It will never belong to you. It will never, ever be yours.
You were definitely crying now, alone on the porch in the corner while your family and the guests enjoyed this beautiful day and this beautiful celebration. There was another life coming into the world, a life that was half of the boy you loved, a life he decided to have with someone else. It felt like death. It all felt like hell, a burning, god awful hell.
“Come on,” Beomgyu said to you. Turning toward him, all you could do was reach your arms up for him to take, pulling you to your feet, letting your shoes topple to the floor. “We’re going to my brothers.”
“But, they-”
He brought you into the house. “He told me to take you to my brothers.” Facing you, he wiped away your tears and frowned. “You’re too pretty to cry, stop it.” The hallway you were in was quiet, secluded. Sucking in a deep breath, you gazed at him and pouted.
“You can’t drive, you-”
“Jungkook’s outside,” he breathed.
Nodding, you slowly wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him close, giving him a real hug, heart to heart. “I love you, Gyu,” you mumbled into his neck.
The boy sighed, and held you tighter. “I love you, too.”
“No way, I was in Mom’s belly!” Rosie almost leapt off of Taehyun’s lap. The entire video came from Jin, he documented the entire day, the entire shower, every gorgeous detail that you now were able to appreciate. A hole in your heart remained, but it was so long ago now that the cut didn’t burn as deep.
Joy shared her excitement with Rosie, and Minho chimed in with some questions, asking who different people were that only his father and grandparents were able to answer.
You thanked the good lord, or whoever was up there, that you were barely in any of the shots. You remembered that day very differently than everyone else. Soobin even whispered to you how insufferable the day must’ve been, and that he was glad you weren’t together yet, or else he would’ve had to put up with that shit. And yes, he said shit.
“You were with Uncle Beomgyu again,” Rosie said to you, twisting on her fathers lap completely.
Glancing at Soobin who focused his eyes on the baby in your arms, you took a breath and looked at your niece. “Yeah, I was.”
Rosie’s face screwed up, confused. “I thought you guys didn’t date.”
“We didn’t,” you shook your head, tone going a bit stern.
The girl grilled you with her eyes. “Sure seems like you did.”
The room fell into a quiet chatter while Joy and Jin searched for another video. Your boys were talking to Minho, asking him questions about his mom that was just in the video, and Rosie whispered things to Taehyun you were dying to hear.
Soobin, as if he could feel your blood beginning to boil, leaned over and kissed your cheek. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” you whispered, avoiding his gaze. “Just wasn’t expecting to have to dodge him either.”
Soobin watched you for a few seconds more, then bobbed his head.
Beomgyu hung around Taehyun more than he hung around with you. He showed up to Taehyun’s kids birthdays, not yours. Beomgyu accepted offers to stay at Taehyun’s for long weekends, or to watch sports games, or to go to concerts, or to just simply hang out in his basement. And Beomgyu reciprocated the invites. You never got a single one.
“Think this hurts more than it should,” you whispered, looking at your husband. Soobin, energy doing a complete one eighty, turned to your parents.
“How many more you guys got?” he asked with persistence. “My baby’s need to get to bed. Wonwoo’s on a schedule.”
Joy shoved Soobin by his shoulder and clicked her tongue. “Strict Soobin, come on.” Soobin smiled. He didn’t mind being the bad guy when it came to you. “Let us just watch one more, and I swear we’ll be done. We’re all having so much fun though, aren’t we?” The boys agreed with her, as did Rosie. Taehyun was silent, and so were you.
“One more,” Soobin said.
~ april 1st, 2009 ~
“Ready!?” Taehyun shouted to the crowd around your kitchen counter, standing in the dark, the only light coming from the candles shoved into the cake in front of you. “Here we go!” Thirty people, or more, sang Happy Birthday to you in the most obnoxious way possible, led by Taehyun himself. Friends, family from both sides, neighbors… Everyone was gathered to sing to you, to celebrate you. Though the lights were shaped like stars and the song was distorted in your ears, you were having the time of your life. Taehyun to your left, Beomgyu to your right, and Yeonjun hovering behind you, you had everything you could ever need, it made you want to cry. As the singing came to an end, you squeezed your eyes shut and blew out your candles, basking in the cheers that followed.
“She’s eighteen!” Your boys shouted, holding you in some way, jumping up and down with you in their arms.
The lights flickered on and the cake was whisked away. Your vision was truly tunneling, all you could see were the boys in front of you, congratulating you. Taehyun hugged you first, holding you tight. The one day he could without it being considered weird. Yeonjun was next, slipping his arms around your waist, bending you in half as you laughed and clung to his shoulders. Turning to Beomgyu, you reached for his cheeks and gave them a squeeze, getting a laugh out of him. He grabbed your hands and yanked you toward him, hugging you tight, pressing one of his cheeks to your own.
“Happy Birthday,” he whispered to you. “Taehyun says when the party starts.” Pulling away, you stumbled backward and bit your bottom lip. Beomgyu was smug, but he was subtle. His attention immediately shifted when he watched your cheeks turn pink.
“Hey,” Yeonjun said, grabbing your wrist, pulling you out into the hallway. The pretty boy got you alone, his black hair parted in the center, hanging over his forehead almost brushed against your own. “I have something for you, but I can’t give it to you right now.”
Your eyes focused on his lips. His full, plump, beautiful lips you’d always been dying to kiss, only while under the influence. “Okay,” you whispered, blinking up at him mindlessly.
“It’ll make you feel even better than this,” he smirked, placing a hand on the wall above your shoulder. “I promise.”
“Really?” you sighed, falling under his charm. Yeonjun grinned, taking his other hand to your cheek, dragging his fingers over your warm skin.
“Really,” he said, his tone turning sultry. “Taehyun got this for you, right?”
Blinking twice, slowly, you nodded even slower. “Yeah,” you breathed. “Took it hours ago… Dunno what it is, Junie.”
Yeonjun’s expression turned serious. “Oh, no, honey, that’s not too safe is it?”
He began to shake his head, and you followed along. “No,” you whispered.
“No,” he lowered his brows. “It’s not. I can tell you exactly what I got you, it’ll-”
“C’mon, Baby,” Taehyun said, abruptly pulling you away from Yeonjun. The boy tumbled back and shot Taehyun a glare. “We’re outta here. Yeonjun you gotta go.”
Taehyun wrapped an arm around your shoulders, keeping you close under his. With Beomgyu close behind, Taehyun had you in a brisk walk, headed for the front door. “Wait, hold on, Tae,” you said, trying to turn back around.
“No, keep walking,” Taehyun muttered.
“Where the fuck are you guys going?” Yeonjun called after you, throwing his arms out to the side. Taehyun turned toward him for only a moment more.
“Somewhere without you,” he narrowed his eyes. “Till you stop being a shady piece of shit.”
Yeonjun placed his hands on his hips, his gaze shifting between Taehyun and Beomgyu. “You two are the ones being shady pieces of shit, like what even is this?” He gestured toward you. “It’s her party and you’re leaving? And I’m not going with?”
“Why’s he not coming with?” you parroted his words, but Beomgyu shut you up with a glare. “Oh, right.”
Yeonjun clapped his hands together and laughed sarcastically. “Shady shit! You guys suck.” He made it to the front door first. “Happy Birthday,” he said to you, reaching in his pocket, tossing a small bag of powder by your feet. Beomgyu was quick in picking it up and pocketing it, making sure no adult had rounded the corner. By the time the three of you looked back at the door, Yeonjun was gone.
“Did he touch you?” Taehyun asked, his eyes burning into yours. A shake of your head didn’t appease him. “Words, Baby.”
“No,” you said, trying to swallow, but your mouth was suddenly really, really dry. “I need water.” Your voice was hushed.
Taehyun cringed. “Ah, shit, right,” he mumbled, then looked up at Beomgyu. “Jungkook wanna make a pitstop on the way to your house?” Both boys started you for the door once again, your feet almost stumbling over the other.
“Am I supposed to feel more… more dizzy?” you laughed. Beomgyu and Taehyun shared a look, laughing with you.
“We gotta catch up,” Taehyun whispered. You could barely see the boys around you as they spoke, you only heard their voices that were as beautiful and as soothing as a lullaby. “I wanna feel what she’s feeling.”
Beomgyu wrapped an arm around you, helping Taehyun get you out the door. “I wanna feel what she’s feeling while feeling her.”
You managed to swat a hand at his chest. “Gyu,” you sang. The front door shut behind you, and it was just the three of you on the porch. Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, you pulled him toward you and pressed your lips to his, feeling like you had no control over anything you were doing. He kissed you back, it was a rough, wet mess. You were just slipping your tongue between his lips when a hand grabbed your hair and pulled you back.
Stumbling into Taehyun's chest, you giggled and spun around, throwing your arms around his shoulders, letting your lips meet more gentle than they did with Beomgyu’s. Taehyuns kiss was careful, and sweet, and full of feeling, and, and…
“Who was that lady with the white hair?” Minho called out as the video ended on a scene of family lounging around the living room.
“That’s your Great-Aunt Jennie,” Jin said to the boy, smiling at him. “That was my favorite one,” he glanced at his wife, “Full of people I haven’t seen in ages.” Joy placed a hand to his thigh and gave it a squeeze. Great-Aunt Jennie passed away two years ago.
Mina had climbed onto Soobins lap at some point during that last one, where your brain was trailing off elsewhere. Your family was watching scenes of your family, but you were on the front porch, getting in the car with Beomgyu’s older brother, driving to their house to spend two nights in a row there. The three of you missed two days of school that week, of your senior year.
“I think I’m all videoed out,” you said a bit too loud, standing to your feet, heading out into the hallway without a look back. With Wonwoo in your arms you took it upon yourself to head upstairs and put the baby in the bassinet you brought with you after changing and nursing him.
Keeping your mind clear, blocking out every and any thought you were having, you got changed yourself, throwing on one of Soobin’s t-shirts and a pair of flowing sweatpants. You didn’t bother to brush your teeth or take off your makeup, instead you curled up in your bed and tried to not let the thoughts consume you while you waited for Soobin to come up.
Coming here for the weekend was one thing. You were already thrown into a torturous mess of family and remembering things, you didn’t know you’d be forced to relive so many different memories you had suppressed for a multitude of reasons. Laying here in the dark, you’re beginning to think this weekend was meant to happen this way to show you exactly how far you’ve drifted from this life. That Soobin and your kids was where you were meant to be, happy and dramaless, safe and growing in positivity and a pureness your children were not going to get from this house.
It was nauseating, and would give you a migraine if you thought about it for too long. In just one day, after yearning for what used to be, you’ve realized it wasn’t what it was. It’s not the same as it was. Whatever you were longing for would not feel the same as it did when you were eighteen, nineteen, even twenty-one. You were at an entirely different aspect of life now. A healthy one.
“Darling?” Soobin whispered, the door opening slowly, light flooding in from the hallway. Sitting up, you watched him shut the bedroom door quietly so as to not wake the baby, then he walked to your side, catching you as you fell into him. “Are you alright?”
“Next Christmas we stay for a day,” you whispered. “Then, we leave and spend it with the kids. Just the kids.”
Soobin drug his hand in a circle around your back, letting it slip beneath the shirt you wore. “You know, I’m not going to say no.”
Looking up at him, you tried to give him a smile. “Thank you.”
“For?” Soobin quirked a brow.
“For being you,” you whispered. “For believing in me, and sticking by me, and supporting me, and treating me nicely, and… loving the kids.”
Soobin held back a smile, his eyes going slightly wide. “That’s a lot of thank you’s.”
“I mean every word,” you said. “I love you so much. I think I’m… content… not having heavy ties here.”
Your husband sucked in a breath, like relief had struck him suddenly. “Moving on.”
You finally smiled, nodding. “Moving on.”
“Thank god,” Soobin groaned, pushing you backward against the pillows to smother you with kisses. His lips were halfway down your neck until you pushed him off.
“Where’s the kids?” you asked.
A soft smile graced his lips. “Taehyun offered up his bedroom for all of them. He got Mina’s little crib set up in there, and the boys snuggled up in his bed with Minho.”
“Rosie?” You raised your brows.
Soobin chuckled. “She’ll be in a sleeping bag on the floor next to Mina.”
“No way.”
“Yes way,” he said. “Now, may I continue?”
Glancing at the baby’s bassinet that was set up in the corner furthest from you, you turned back to your husband with a smile and hummed. “Continue,” you giggled.
It seemed impossible to sleep, and no, it wasn’t Christmas excitement keeping you up. Soobin, sound asleep beside you, had done his best to tire you out, to relax you enough that you’d want to shut your eyes and snooze, but it wasn’t enough.
After Christmas you were heading back home to be a family of six, unsure of when you’d be coming back here to visit your family, unsure of when you’d ever see Taehyun again. Everything was still unclear between the two of you, whether or not your relationship was in good standing. Those videos gave you a decent idea of where you were headed with your decision on making up.
Slipping out of the covers carefully so you didn’t startle Soobin, you checked on Wonwoo who was also sound asleep, then tiptoed out to the hallway. It was dark, and quiet, the only light coming from the stairs, where the Christmas throw up was. Pushing your hair back out of your face, you took yourself down there, the stairs creaking beneath you as snuck down. Peeking into the front room with the tree and the lights, you find mountains of gifts waiting for your kids under the branches. Gifts upon gifts you didn’t even approve of were patiently awaiting their sticky little fingers to tear them open. Two little green bikes were standing by the windows. Your twins were going to lose their minds.
The rest of the house was silent, everyone was clearly asleep. Sneaking down the hallway into the kitchen, a gasp escapes you when you find Taehyun sitting at the kitchen table in the dark with a glass of water sitting in front of him.
“Jesus, Tae,” you whispered.
“Sorry,” he breathed a laugh. “Didn’t wanna cause any commotion.”
Taking a breath to calm your beating heart, you walk over and take a seat next to him, keeping your focus on the table in front of you. “No, you’re good, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be up.”
Taehyun bobbed his head and twisted his glass on the wood. “Sober sleep is hard.”
“Yeah,” you sighed. “You wake up feeling a lot better though.”
He laughed. “True.”
Silence fell between you, a suffocating silence, like there was so much more to say yet not enough time to say it. Either that or neither of you had the balls to do so.
“Everything that I’ve said today,” Taehyun began, gulping, “I’m sorry.” He looked to you with only his eyes. You did the same. “It wasn’t appropriate of me to let you hear any of it.”
Shifting your body, you turned to face him, pulling your legs up on the chair. “I needed it.”
He looked at you with wild eyes. “Really?” Copying your stance, he twisted to give you his full attention.
“Yeah,” you shrugged. “We can’t live with all that shit trapped inside of us. That’s what’s made these last twelve years really, really hard. We stopped talking.”
Taehyun rolled his eyes. “I stopped talking.”
“Why did you?” Your voice was a whisper, one that made him recoil with a slight shake of his head. “And don’t say it’s ‘cause of Sana, because I know for a fact that it’s not.”
He stared down at nothing for a few seconds, before a gentle groan came out of him and he gave you a half smile. “Beomgyu.” The name, after those videos, made your stomach turn. In the not fun way.
“What about him?” Your voice was small.
“I don’t even think I need to say it.”
“Taehyun, please.”
He exhaled heavily and squeezed his eyes shut. “You guys… liked each other.”
A breath corrupted your lungs, a lump lodging in your throat as you tore your eyes away from him, looking about the kitchen. Taehyun smiled something of sorrow.
“I was a toy for him to play with,” you mumbled, and he detested immediately.
“That is a lie and you know it,” he said. Meeting his eyes, you felt a tear slip out of one of yours. “You saw those videos, I couldn’t watch anything except for how he looked at you. Shit, Baby, I was there. I could see, I could feel how he felt. And I know how it feels to be loved by you. You loved him too.”
Wiping your hands over your face, letting them sit there for a moment, you sniffled. “Oh, it’s so fucked, Tae.”
“I know,” he whispered. “It’s so fucked.” He went quiet, glancing around the room, watching the snowfall outside. “I don’t blame it for our problems, though. I don’t blame him. He’s still my best friend, he’s still…” You snapped your eyes toward him, begging him to not say the words. A sigh and a head shake was answer enough that he’d keep his mouth shut.
“I had Rosie on purpose,” he decided to tread carefully. “We know this, I… yelled it at you.”
“Sorry for trying to talk you out of it.” Your hushed voice surprised him. “You love her, so much. Both of them. It hurts me that I tried to take that away from you.”
“You didn’t know,” he said, the look in his eye accepting your apology. “We didn’t know we’d be here. We didn’t know Sana would stick with me. No one knew if I’d make it this far, have them with me, have any sort of custody… It’s okay.” He nodded. “You wanted to protect me.”
“That day, at her shower,” you rested your chin on one of your knees, “You wanted to protect me. I remember you telling Gyu to take me to his brothers.”
Taehyun let the memory find him. “I did. He wanted to bring you there anyway, without me telling him to. We both knew you wouldn’t go if I didn’t say something.”
“Where were going with this before?” you asked. “Talking about Rose.”
Taehyun attempted a smile. “I… had her on purpose. Which sounds pretty shitty to say out loud.” The two of you shared a quiet laugh. “But, I got with Sana for more of a reason than to just piss you off.”
“You did piss me off pretty bad,” you giggled, and he rolled his eyes.
“I’m good at that,” he popped his brows once. “I just…” The energy shifted. “There was no life with me,” he whispered, looking at you. “There was no life… with you. You and I, we could never have this.” He gestured around the kitchen.
Raising your brows you sighed. “You and I couldn’t ever afford this.” It made him laugh, thankfully. His hands found his lap, folding together between the sweats he was wearing to bed.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do,” you said, tone as soft as his.
“I had to do something, something that would force us to stop what we were doing, ‘cause there was little to nothing that would stop us.” He huffed a laugh watching you force back a smile. “As much as it hurt… It hurt so bad. I did it for you.”
“That’s ass backwards,” you muttered.
“Totally,” he agreed. “I saw you and Gyu. Saw how you were. I thought, if I did this, you two would get together. Eventually.”
Trying to swallow the lump in your throat away, it seemed it was there to stay. Another tear fell. “And how did that plan work out?”
Your whisper just about punched him in the gut. “I didn’t think any of this would happen.”
Wiping your own tears, you took in a shaky deep breath. “You know, you could’ve just said the words, Taehyun. That’s all I ever wanted, was for you to talk to me. A majority of my life was one big secret, I didn’t need anymore from you.”
He took you in, accepting defeat. “I’m sorry. You deserved better.”
A sarcastic laugh came out amongst the tears. “And you thought that was Gyu?” you whispered, sniffling, and laughing. “He literally told me he wouldn’t do anything because I was yours. Always was, always will be.” Taehyun averted his gaze. “If you weren’t involved, I barely heard from him. To this day, I don’t hear from him.” But, you knew he knew that.
“Do you know how lucky I am to have the man that I do upstairs?” you continued on, Taehyuns eyes eventually finding yours again. “Do you know how unbelievable it is that he’s even with me? I already fucked up with him once, with undeniable, living proof that we’ll have for the rest of our lives, and he married me, Taehyun.” You took a second to wipe your tears. “Where was Beomgyu?”
Getting up out of his chair, he paused you for a moment. “Hang on,” he muttered, leaving the kitchen, then reappearing after a minute or two with envelopes in his hands. “I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to give you these.” He sat beside you and placed the long white letter envelopes on the table. “Was worried you wouldn’t come this weekend.”
Jaw tight, you reached for the envelopes and kept a strong face as you picked them up. Your tears betrayed you, as you read the names on the front of the four letters they fell steadily. Two were dated from the boy's fourth birthday, their names written neatly on the front, as well as the other two, from their fifth birthday this year.
This was how it went. An envelope for each boy with a birthday wish and a hefty amount of cash. Usually these were slipped to you at one of Taehyun’s kids parties, discreetly, like it was hush money and not birthday gifts for your children. Words were never spoken, nor exchanged. The letters were given to you, by Taehyun, and you handed them off to your husband without a second thought.
“Have you ever read them?” he asked, eyeing the envelopes you held.
“No,” you breathed, and he nodded. “Soobin has, though. I might, eventually.”
Nodding again, Taehyun sat quietly, letting you have a minute before he said, “He’s a good man.”
Flickering your eyes up to him you smiled. “He’s a damn good man, Tae.” Holding up the letters, you scoffed. “After this? Taking care of and accepting those boys like they’re his own? I swear… I don’t deserve him.”
“Yes, you do,” he said. “You deserve him and so much more.”
Six years ago, you and Soobin’s gap year, that sounded so superficial at this point, you ran back to the two boys, both Taehyun and Beomgyu. A taste of your old life, one that Soobin was detoxing you from. It scared you, to think you were losing a side of yourself, the only side of yourself you had ever known. You weren’t able to stay at Taehyun’s, and you sure as hell didn’t want to stay back at home, so you settled on living at Beomgyu’s for some time.
Having his own place by then, not too far from Taehyun’s, the three of you lived like you were twenty again, and it was exhilarating, it was freedom, it was familiar. Thinking about it now you cannot believe that you allowed half of it to happen, Taehyun was a married man with two children, but most of that year, those collective months, was a blurred mess. Neither of the boys tried to talk you out of anything with Soobin, in fact, they barely spoke his name. You led… everything.
At this point it seemed that Beomgyu had somewhat gotten over his, ‘you’re always his’, thing, because most mornings you weren’t waking up in the spare room, you were waking up beside him, with tangled limbs and hungover, naked bodies.
You didn’t know you were pregnant until you made up with Soobin. After months of living in hazy chaos, you had an epiphany, much like the one you had a few hours ago after watching the home movies. It wasn’t a life you wanted. It clearly wasn’t a life Beomgyu wanted either.
Living back here at home, days away from moving in with Soobin, into the first tiny home you shared together, you found out you were expecting. Positively gutted, knowing there was no way in hell that Soobin had fathered the child, you were at a loss. You sat on the tiled floor of the bathroom upstairs, alone, for an hour. There was no Taehyun to rush in to save you, to hold you in his arms and tell you everything was going to be okay. You were completely alone, and you had no other choice but to tell Soobin.
Sure, you could’ve taken the other route and gotten yourself out of the shitty predicament, but something in your heart was begging you to tell him. So, you did. And, you hurt him. He didn’t ignore you, he didn’t push you away, he didn’t postpone your move in, he was there for you, and cared for you.
It was one thing you still couldn’t wrap your mind around. How one day he woke up, and decided it was the day to propose, at your bedside in the early morning when you just peeked open your eyes. He spoke words that, still to this day, had the power to bring you to tears. He accepted you, he promised to love and to care for you. He accepted your boys, before either of you even knew there were two. For six years he’s kept his promise. For six years he’s been the best damn father any child could ask for.
“Taehyun, I know we both said things we still mean,” you spoke carefully, keeping his gaze on yours. “You said that you love me, and I… I love you, too.”
He cringed to himself. “I hope you know I don’t mean it in the, I want you to divorce him, way.”
You nearly leapt out of your seat, reaching forward for his hands. “God, no, Tae,” you sighed. “Listen, part of me came here wondering what was left. Of us.” He listened intently, soaking up every word. “You probably thought I was gonna try to… get you back, or something.” He nodded solemnly, a confession he didn’t want to reveal. “And, maybe part of me wanted to find out, but that stuff isn’t important anymore. We’re two entirely different people now. We’re both sober, we’re both on track to live happy, fulfilling lives… We cannot go backward.”
Watching you, wondering if you had anything else to add, he asked, “Will you ever tell them? The boys?”
Your heart sank. “Soobin and I discussed it. When they’re old enough, we’ll tell them. We’ll give them the letters.” Your eyes burned, the tears coming on fast. “Though I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for them to find out that he didn’t want them. I don’t wanna break their hearts. I don’t want them to have to go through the same pain I did, the realization that your father rejected you, acting like you don’t exist.” Taehyun squeezed your hands. You swore a tear slid down his cheek. “How do I do that to them?”
Taking a deep breath, Taehyun gestured to the letters you threw down on the table. “Read them,” he whispered, his eyes gleaming with something you couldn’t place. “Before you tell the boys… read them.”
After a sniffle you nodded, wiping your tears on your shoulder. “I said it earlier, I want my kids to know you.” He drug his fingers over your skin delicately. “Especially the boys, you’re…” a shaky breath shot through you, “You’re the closest thing they have to him.”
It fell quiet once again, the brisk wind and snow outside the only thing to be heard, calming you both. Taehyun gave your hands one last squeeze before he let them go and tucked his back into his lap. “Yanno, Joy was saying some funny stuff.”
“That the boys look like you,” you said quickly, both of you laughing together.
“Yeah,” Taehyun screwed his face up. “It made me think. It made me think some things I shouldn’t think-“
“Tae,” you said gently. “They’re his. Gyu’s their daddy. I promise you.”
He looked at his lap. “Right,” he whispered, lips firmly pressed together.
Ignoring everything that changed about him in this moment, you kept things moving, picking up the letters off the table. “Thank you for these,” you smiled. “And, thank you for being here. For talking to me.”
He flashed you that grin that made your heart skip a beat. “What are friends for, Baby?”
Glittering wrapping paper littered the floor, more being thrown by the minute. Every child was beaming, showing off each gift they unwrapped to whoever's eye they could catch. The twins, absolutely losing their minds over their bikes, Mina, asking Jin to open up her new baby doll, Minho, reading the back of a vinyl record, and Rosie, counting how many new lip glosses she’s opened. The room was happy, full of life.
Soobin sat on a couch with Wonwoo in his arms, the infant holding onto a teething ring for dear life, chewing on it while he watched his family go crazy over their gifts. He shot you a smile each time one of your kids opened something new, a screech sounding off when they recognized it was something they’d been asking for.
“You boys want Daddy and Uncle Taehyun to teach you how to ride them?” you asked, holding up your phone to take photos of the twins trying to sit on their bikes. Taehyun, on the floor next to the tree, handing out gifts whenever a child asked for another, looked up at your husband, eyes full of hope.
“Oh my god, yes!” Chan shouted, jumping up and down on his feet covered by the fuzzy footed pajamas he wore. Sunoo, matching his brother, threw his arms in the air and cheered. Eyeing Soobin carefully, you sighed as you watched him smile and nod at Taehyun.
“Can we go now?” Sunoo pouted, eyes going wide. Taehyun snickered and looked over at you.
“Sun, look outside,” you pointed to the window. All the kids followed, glancing out to the snow that was probably going to have you stuck here for another night. “Don’t think you’ll be able to ride a bike out there.” Soobin shot you a look, his smile sarcastic, already dreading staying here one more time.
The boys moved onto other gifts, taking their time, scoping the scene, helping their sister and asking Minho what he got. Taehyun moved to the couch next to Soobin, a foot of space separating them, the three men falling into conversation with one another, Jin seeming happy to have them both there with him. Observing the organized chaos, you didn’t notice your mother approaching you, sliding her arm around your back where you stood in the archway.
“Merry Christmas, my love,” she smiled, speaking quietly to you. Giving her a quick smile, you focused back on your husband, who was handing Wonwoo over to Taehyun.
“Merry Christmas, Mom,” you whispered. Taehyun gazed down at your son in awe, the first time he’s actually held him this weekend. The first time he was getting to know one of your kids before they learned how to walk. He didn’t get to do this with Mina. He barely got to do it with the twins. Wonwoo smiled up at him after he whispered something to the baby, and when he did, he looked up at you and the look on his face warmed your heart.
“He’s so…” Joy began.
“Good with the kids,” you finished, giving her a look. “I know, Mom.”
She forced a smile onto her lips, looking back at you like she was in pain. Her eyebrows were flipped and her eyes were glistening. “I’m sorry if those videos were a lot,” she said, and you scoffed, brushing it off. “No, I mean it. It’s clear you’re moved on from then, I think I was just so caught up in the past. It’s lonely here without you.”
Sighing, you turned to face her. “Mom, the videos-”
“I don’t need you to try to reassure me,” she actually smiled, rubbing your forearm. “They were a lot for me, too. Seeing that day,” her eyes widened for a second, her voice dropping back down to a whisper, one that sent a chill down your spine, “I was reminded how grateful I am that it wasn’t you.”
“Mom,” you gasped, clamping your jaw shut. Her eyes flickered toward Taehyun quickly, then back to yours without much else to say.
“I hold onto hope that one day you’ll open up to me,” she said. “I’m here for you. I always have been.” With another gentle rub of your arm she scurried off into the room to celebrate with the kids.
Your skin has flushed, you know it has. Frozen where she left you, you can’t comprehend what had just happened, what she had just told you, what she had literally admitted to you. Nausea washed over you, your throat closing, like the ability to breath was stolen from you.
She knew.
Willing yourself to turn toward the room where the commotion continued, but you heard half of it, you took one look at the men on the couch. Soobin and Taehyun, both looking back at you with concern. Soobin’s was protective, but Taehyun’s was straight worry. You didn’t know what to do, you didn’t know how to process. A secret you were planning to keep from her for the rest of your life, one that you and Taehyun were going to take to the grave, she knew about. She left you without any indication as to when she found out, who she found out from, if she figured it out herself, if Jin knew as well… She knew, and you didn’t know how.
Looking at your boys, your beautiful twin boys showing their grandmother their new books they had unwrapped, you felt your heart rate skyrocket as you realized that as she sat there talking with them, she thought they were Taehyun’s children.
You were crying, and you weren’t totally sure you were breathing either. Shaky hands pushed back your hair and wiped your tears. Shaky legs took you away from the celebration, into another room, the living room, where you fell onto a couch and buried your face in your hands, finally letting out a decent sob you’d been suppressing all weekend.
It wasn’t long until a pair of strong arms wrapped around you, cozying up next to you, pulling you into their lap. Smothering yourself in their chest, you grabbed onto them somehow, and cried. There weren’t any words to say. Looking up at your husband, teary eyed, there wasn’t a thing either of you could say, or do, to make this any better.
“I’ll find a way to get us home tonight,” he whispered. “I promise.”
Okay, maybe there was one thing he could say to make this a little bit better. And you knew damn well, better than anyone, that Soobin kept his promises.
☼ AO3 | wattpad | support | share with me ☼
thank you so much for reading. <3
#txt#tomorrow x together#txt fanfic#tubatu#choi yeonjun#choi soobin#kang taehyun#choi beomgyu#hueningkai#tomorrow x together smut#tomorrow x together angst#txt angst#txt smut#txt x reader#txt x you#txt x y/n#taehyun x reader#taehyun x you#taehyun x y/n#soobin x you#soobin x reader#soobin x y/n#beomgyu x reader#beomgyu smut#beomgyu x y/n#beomgyu x you#yeonjun x you#txt christmas#christmas fic#txt christmas fic
134 notes
·
View notes
Text
Revenant
Summary: Kol Mikaelson's soul manages to leave and travel while he still remains daggered in his coffin. While he wanders around and bitches about his life, he meets an unexpected friend. Warning(s): VERY HEAVY crack fic, technical crossover of fandoms, weird shit, Kol is a horny-ass gremlin, Druig & Kaety are obsessed with each other, Kol has a thing for witches bc he got mommy issues, Klaus is a bitch
Note: Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it! This fic came from an idea that I shared with @ethereal-athalia, and it is VERY much a crack fic. I don't have any plans in continuing this idea, but I wanted to write it out as a Christmas gift to @ethereal-athalia for how much of a good friend she's been to me. I never would have been able to do any of my fics without her in my corner. I own only my Hecate!OC. I do not own either Druig from Eternals, or Kol from TVD franchise. Also, Druig still very much exists in this fic and world bc I physically CANNOT write Kaety without Druig. Stay safe and hope that your upcoming year brings you all good health and happiness!
Kol hated being dead. Truly dead. Dead in a way that he couldn’t move or speak or live.
At least when he turned as a gift Mother Dearest he could still walk, even if he couldn’t use the arcane anymore. But of course, he would still always find his way back to witches and their magic. He couldn’t help it if he exuded that charm that made him so irresistible.
Gods, just remembering how pathetically sex-deprived his physical form was currently almost made him weep. He couldn’t wait until the moment he got that fucking silver dagger out of his chest. Nik was going to get it when he finally got out.
Sure, he may have crossed a line when he stated that Nik had a pair of buttocks flatter than a sheet of paper. But was he the one that gave his brother such lacking assets? No. That fault lied entirely with their mother and his biological father, thank you very much.
But alas, here his soul was, walking in a forest in the middle of some mosquito-flooded country.
At the very least, his gorgeous body was safe from the onslaught of bug bites and sweltering humidity. Only in the fucking Amazon did winter feel like summer.
Kol audibly groaned once more at the thought of his immaculate figure rotting away thanks to Nik. He couldn’t bear to think about how his illustrious fair skin being that dull grayish hue from being confined by death. At least when Bekah got daggered, Nik had the decency to make sure that her body remained stored in proper conditions and carefully encased in magic to prevent any harm coming to her. He had no guarantee. No, such love and devotion only went to ‘Lijah and Bekah when it came to Nik.
Story of his life: always an outsider, even with his own fucking siblings. Gods, he wanted nothing more than have his powers return to him. At least with magic by his side he’d finally be able to show Nik he wasn’t the only one with threats, he’d show him, he’d –
“Well, well, well,” came a new voice, “aren’t you a strange sight?”
Kol immediately turned his head to locate the mindless idiot that dared to interrupt his thoughts. Did humans devolve so pathetically that they no longer understood that when they see a soul wandering alone, that soul would likely be uninterested in any attempts of conversation? But looking at the individual who spoke to him, he was shocked beyond himself to witness such a devastatingly gorgeous woman before him. She had dark almond-shaped eyes and tall with legs that went on for miles. And her thick and illustrious raven waves practically flowed down the middle of her back like a black waterfall.
Dare he say it, this woman was almost as beautiful than him.
But regardless of how pleasing her outward appearance may be, she still would not be spared from his fury.
Pity, he would have loved to wrap those legs around his waist if he were actually here.
The corners of the woman’s lips went upward, and the cupid’s bow of her mouth was slightly pursed as she smirked, making her lips look plumper and more bitable than how they had right to be in the Original’s opinion. It was only a few seconds before the succubus burst out laughing. Her entire body arched with her back as she simply couldn’t contain herself.
“I’m sorry,” she said once he began to calm down, “but I’m afraid that I happen to be very happily married. In fact, I have been for the past near seven thousand years.” After making a quick glance up and down Kol’s near transparent form, she continued with a cat-like grin. “And I highly doubt someone as woefully young as you could satisfy a woman like me.”
Oh, now he was offended. Not being able to satisfy– did this woman have any idea who she was talking to? The list of names of men and women that swore they only believed in Heaven when Kol fucked them was so long that it would wrap the Earth twice. And she better believe than each time was more than consensual – they were begging him very enthusiastically to say the least. Who was this lady to assume –
Wait, did she say seven thousand years?
As if she could hear his thoughts, all the woman did was smiled before extending her hand.
“I think I’d like it very much if you and I became friends.”
Extending his own, Kol was surprised to see that his hand didn’t just pass through like it normally would for most physical objects. He could actually grasp her hand and feel the warmth passing through it. For the first time in…forever, Kol felt warmth flooding through him. He stared into her eyes, wondering how on Earth someone could live for seven thousand years. Even if she had the gift of mediumship, his presence was too well-hidden for even the most gifted and powerful medium to sense him.
Kol had to know more of her. He’d go mad if he didn’t.
“What are you exactly?” he carefully asked.
He could sense that this person was a being of extreme power. In the top of her finger, she likely contained far more power than Nik could possibly imagine, even in his wildest dreams. It seemed that being an invisible soul floating in the wind had its perks after all. If he was alive, walking and about, he’d never come across this marvel of a woman.
“I’d prefer if you began that question with ‘who’ than ‘what,’ but I suppose that matters little in this situation. My name is Kaetlyn, I prefer Kaet for my friends, but you may know me better as-”
“Hekate,” he whispered in awe, “Goddess of Magic. Titaness Mother of Witches and Monsters.”
“Surprised in a good way I hope?” Kaet asked with one brow raised.
“More or less, but I did imagine you about 30 feet taller with the night sky for skin and two more heads.”
“Well,” she softly chuckled, “I hope I didn’t disappoint you with my appearance. Now I’ll forgive you just this once for interrupting me. But only if you allow me to take you to my home.”
“Oh?” Kol asked, a salacious grin spreading across his face. Now things were getting interesting.
“Save it Kol Mikaelson-” ordered the ancient goddess as she raised her hand to her face as she pointed at him in warning- “I am taking you to the village that I run with my husband. So, I suggest that you keep your hands to yourself because he has a nasty little habit of being showing exactly how off-limits I am to youngsters such as yourself.”
“I never told you my-”
“You were once a witch, and I am the mother of magic. All witches and their magic came from me, including you.”
It really was so unfair how good she looked while talking over him. Oh well, he might as well play along. Finally, something interesting was happening in his life.
“So, who is this husband of yours, darling? And how can you be so sure that your husband could be a threat to me? You know who I am, what I became. What makes you so sure that once I enter your village, I won’t use my ghostly ways to end him.”
When Kol finished, he immediately felt a shift in the air. It was as if the sun had disappeared and the jungle went silent. It seemed that the animals that served as their audience went dead silent as if they were in anticipation for his end. The kind and amiable mirth of the chthonic witch shifted to dangerous and cold.
Kol had lived for over 700 years and after everything he done and witnessed, he had never felt such chill run down his spine.
“Listen well,” she began – her tone laced with the power and authority that came from someone of her position, “I won’t try to humor you with answering that ridiculous question, nor do I intend to let you presume that my kindness can be mistaken for naivety. My husband is one with abilities as ancient and powerful as mine. If you truly knew what he was capable of, you’d be far more terrified of him than you ever were of your father. That being said, if you ever try to threaten my husband or even think about go so far to joke about it again, I promise you that I can produce torture and incite fear that would make the devil weep in pity for you.”
Oh fuck, even as a ghost, Kol should not have been as aroused by her threats as he was in that moment.
But soon the tension dissipated and warmth from the sun returned to pass through him once more.
“Now that we have that matter cleared up, we really should get going. The sun’s about to set and you never know what or who would be lurking at night.”
With that being the final word, The Good Lady of the Night and Shadows turned around and made her way back to where he presumed to be the location of her home village. And what else could he do but follow her by how the slight sway of her hips seemed to beckon him.
Threats and chills mixed a beautiful witch with magic more ancient than time itself, Kol couldn’t remember the last time he felt so alive.
Authors' Note: And when Kol enters the village, he tries to flirt with Kaet in front of Druig like a dumbass, and his soul gets a major ass-whooping.
Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @valeskafics, @klauslove, @carolineforbae, @misssophiachase
Reblog and comment and like and share to anyone you think may like to read this fic!
#kol mikaelson#kol mikaelson x oc#unrequited love#not yet but it happens#hecate!OC x hypnos!Druig#druig fanfiction#druig x reader#druig x oc#does it count as a druig fic if he's never really mentioned?#eh#i'm counting it#crack#tvd crack fic#the originals crack fic#klaus is a flat-assed bitch#i said what i said#christmas gift fic#tvdu#tvd x reader#tvd x oc
48 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay something that’s been on my mind is bringing daniel home for the holidays 🎅
you can’t convince me this man wouldn’t be the life of the party, to your parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, grandparents, whoever. it’s impossible not to love him and he knows it.
on thanksgiving a lot of families go around the table and say what/who they’re thankful for, and i just know he would have something both charming and sweet to say when it’s his turn 💌
LIV HII! i absolutely LOVE this!!!
oh daniel absolutely WOULD be the life of the party. id like to think that only post-retirement would he be able to see your family as often as he’d like, and the holidays are a great start <3 let’s get into this!!
you were a little nervous, introducing him to new family members who hadn’t yet met him. was there a reason for that? no, not really. just.. normal nerves. but they were quickly forgotten when daniel introduced himself and pulled them all in for a hug, and asked how they were doing.
when it came to nieces and nephews/ younger siblings, oh daniel would LOVEEEE it. he’d be so taken on by them! if they tapped at his leg and asked him something, he’d crouch so he was at their level and would chat away with them.
perhaps you have a little nephew who’s pretty bold and forward, and during a conversation daniel is having with your family, he grabs daniel’s hand and says “come!!” you’re taken aback by the forwardness, about to step in when daniel grins widely at him, nodding “alrighty, show me the way mate!”
if you had a niece who had just gotten a new makeup set for christmas? oh daniel is going to look stunning when she offers to fix him up. “i thought my face was pretty enough,” he starts with a pout, before winking at her. “but alright, show me what you’ve got!” and then he’s gone!
he’s gone for a good 15/20 minutes, and when he returns— oh. well.. it’s definitely something! you aren’t quite sure what’s more striking; the dark red lipstick that’s over and around his plush lips, the prominent pink blush that had a few too many coats, or the bright purple eyeshadow, that almost hit his eyebrows.
“well, i think i may have been wrong about myself before,” daniel tells you when he returns, pulling his phone out and opening his camera app to get a look at himself. he turns his face to the side, pointing it up and down, before pouring for the camera. you laugh at him, obviously, who wouldn’t when he’s being such a dork? “hey! im appreciating my new look!!”
as for thanksgiving— that’s really interesting! we don’t do thanksgiving over here, but ohhh that’s the sweetest thing 🥹 i know daniel would absolutely have something lovely to say, and you’d feel yourself blushing as soon as he started talking.
“i’m thankful for my life, and everything i was able to do up until this point. i’m thankful for everyone who helped me get there, helped me through it, and everyone who’ll help me afterwards. id like to think it will be you all, and i’m honoured to get to spend more time with you. and especially my wonderful girlfriend, who brought us all together.”
something along those lines, would have your family beaming with glee, and would have you tearing up a little as your cheeks felt warmer. after the thank you’s and talks, daniel would move his thumb to wipe your tears away.
“sweetheart, what’s all the crying about?” he’d ask with a soft smile, and you’d shake your head. “nothing, you were just so sweet danny. i’m happy you love us so much,” you’d admit, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss onto his lips.
“of course i do! and i’m sure i’ll get to love you all even more now i’m back home.” <3
LIVVV this is the cutest little idea ever 🥹 THANK U!! 🫶🫶
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been thinking a lot about Phoenix's family, and I got carried away so I'm going to put the whole essay below the cut, I'm so normal about him
I'm sorry there's just no way that Phoenix has any sort of normal family situation, not just because they're never mentioned even in passing as he goes through extremely major life events, but also because of how he is as a person. You cannot convince me that the guy who fell head over heels for Dahlia two seconds after meeting her had any sort of reliable support system in his life. When she got arrested the only person he could think about was a guy he hadn't seen since they were both nine instead of any current person who would likely care that he almost got poisoned and arrested for murder.
While I think it would be nice if he had lesbian moms who loved him, it just doesn't quite fit in with what we know about Phoenix. I mean, even in the WAA/WTA the only photograph on display is Zak's, and if there isn't a better person to put on the wall than the biological father of his daughter who abandoned her, that's pretty sad. (though I personally like to think that his portrait was there specifically as a target for things like darts and throwing knives). Plus, we already know from the thing with Dahlia that Phoenix's primary way of dealing with trauma and abusive people is just to pretend nothing happened and force himself to forget about them.
That's not even mentioning this guy's abandonment issues and complete willingness to adopt anyone he finds into his found family with zero hesitation. He meets Ema once for a few days, someone he has no personal connection to, but because she reminded him of Maya he stays in contact with her at some capacity to the point that he keeps her investigative tools with him and can have his name be used to gain her favor. Also, there's that new years art where she gets drunk with the Wright's and Apollo. And there are several more young adults/teenagers like that, he's got that foster kid to foster dad energy.
What I think makes the most sense is either that he was given up for adoption/ was an orphan in the foster care system who was passed around a lot, never getting too attached to one family, which led to his abandonment issues, or that he had a normal family life until something happened that estranged them from him. As a staunch believer in Transmasc Phoenix my thoughts are that he had transphobic parents so when he left for university he cut them off and changed his full name which explains why he is so desperate for emotional connection at that time. He suddenly has no one but a dream to find Miles and a girlfriend whose red flags he's completely blind to.
But honestly, there are so many reasons that people could come up with that would also make sense for his character. Maybe they were emotionally abusive and since everyone around him has dead or horrifically bad parents he's just not going to ever bring it up because who is he to complain when his besties are Maya Fey and Miles Edgeworth. Maybe they were just absent a lot and he had to take care of himself (and perhaps younger siblings) until he just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe they just tried to get him a girlfriend to settle down with one too many times and he just refuses to visit them, not even on holidays like Christmas or new years. It's just fascinating to me that there's absolutely nothing about them, I think there was even one of those little (official?) comics that poked fun at the fact that he doesn't really have parents, he may not even know who they are.
I also stand behind all of the ideas from my Phoenix Family HCs Poll because all of them would be so fun to explore even if some of them are total crack HCs. Tigre is only 16 years older than Phoenix but you can't say it's not possible that he messed around in high school and his girlfriend just gave up the kid for adoption and it would be so funny if Phoenix had to put his own father into prison after he pretended to be him.
In my Fem!Phoenix AU where I'm planning on expounding upon her relationship with the Feys and her own spiritual power (Phoenix does canonically talk to ghosts sometimes), the spirit of Ryunosuke found her and kind of became her imaginary friend who appears sometimes because I love him.
Even the idea of the goddess of law making him as an indestructible little terror on the legal system would be fascinating to expand upon. I would love to read about the whole concept of law being turned into a kind of religion, is she a single omniscient god (is she single?) or is she part of a larger pantheon? What would that mean for Phoenix?
I just can't even fathom that there's something normal going on with Phoenix and his family, I think he should pull an Apollo and secretly have the most batshit family backstory. Just looking at this guy and you know he has some kinds of issues, he was an art/theater major, he's got to be a little bit of that flavor of fucked up.
#i know it's funny if he's normal and just turned out Like That but I like to have fun here so I'm gonna be weird about him#also the poll has less than a day for votes so uh#check that out i guess#phoenix wright#ace attorney#hes a demigod but his godly mother just gives him the power to not die easy and pull some real silly stuff in court#I had too many thoughts im sorry
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
as long as stars are above you - drw x sfk
Hi hi hi I’m back with another sanny fic because I can’t stop myself 🫡
Set in the same universe as ‘nice guys throw punches’ and just unmitigated, completely indulgent fluff.
Tags: proposal (!!), engagement, conspiring siblings, family fluff, softest boys in the world
READ ON AO3
- - -
“Okay, I’m just pulling up to the house to pick up Sam,” Josie whispers into the phone, not waiting for Danny to even say hello. She has one hand on the steering wheel of her car as she pulls up out front of the Kiszka family home, peering out the window to make sure Sam isn’t waiting outside.
“Why are you whispering?” Danny whispers back, sitting in his own car a block away where he won’t be spotted. “They can’t hear you.”
“Shut it, asshole,” Josie rolls her eyes, knowing Danny will be able to hear that even over the phone. “Which one of us is taking this plan seriously?”
Danny snorts. “I really doubt anyone is taking this plan more seriously than I am, considering it was my idea and I’m about to walk myself into the proverbial lion’s den.”
“A lion’s den you’ve had your own key for since you were like, 15. I’d hardly classify your second family’s home as a lion's den.”
“You know what I mean,” Danny nearly whines, sighing. “I’m nervous, Jo.”
Josie sighs fondly, sitting back against the driver’s seat as she puts the car in park.
“I know you are,” she says gently. “But Dan, they adore you. You’ve been a fixture in the Kiszka family for over a decade - well before you and Sam ever started dating. And now you’ve been together, what? Five years?”
“Six,” Danny provides, heart fluttering.
“Right,” Josie says. “So this isn’t going to be a surprise to them. They’re going to be thrilled and they’re going to be so touched that you wanted to do this.”
Danny exhales, nodding even though he knows Josie can’t see him.
“I just -,” he swallows. “Yeah. You’re right. Thanks, Jo. And thanks for helping.”
“You’re my big brother, Danny,” Josie says, her smile obvious through the phone. “And Sam is one of my favourite people - it’s not like it’s a hardship to hang out with him, even if I have to pretend it’s for a super secret early birthday present for you.”
“You better get me something good,” Danny says, smiling.
“Oh yeah, don’t worry,” she quips. “I already pre-ordered your big pile of nothing, just have to go pick it up -”
Danny hears a door close in the background of the call, and his heart kicks in his chest.
“Oh shit, he’s coming out,” Josie whispers. “You’ve got two hours - go ask for your blessing! Love you, bye!”
Danny doesn’t even get a word in before she’s hung up. He blows out a breath, starting his car and waiting until he’s sure Sam and Josie are gone before driving up to the Kiszka family home. A break from touring and Christmas coming up means everyone is home under one roof.
Danny gets out of the car, wiping his hands on his pants and taking a steadying breath. Here goes nothing.
-
Danny knocks twice on the door before opening it, just as he’s done since he first met the Kiszka family. It’s so instinctual even though Karen constantly reminds him he doesn’t need to worry, that he’s welcome any time.
“Knock knock,” he calls out, praying his voice doesn’t betray how nervous he is. He can hear sounds coming from the living room, the odd twang of a guitar amidst lively conversation.
Karen’s head pokes around the corner and she smiles widely, immediately coming forward with arms open for a hug.
“Hi honey!” she says, pulling Danny down for a hug. “I didn’t think we’d see you today - Sammy just left.”
“I know,” Danny says, hugging Karen tightly. She’s always been so kind to him, welcoming him with open arms as a gangly teenager and never letting him go. “I actually came to see you all, if that’s okay.”
She presses a firm kiss to his cheek, patting the other one with a gentle hand.
“Of course it is, Daniel, you know that,” she gently admonishes him. She brushes a few errant snowflakes from his shoulders before leading him to the living room. “Come sit, we just made coffee.”
Everyone is seated comfortably in various spots, Jake reclined on the floor with his back against the couch, guitar in hand. Josh is folded like a pretzel in the arm chair, an obscenely large mug in one hand and a book of Mad Libs in the other (concerning, Danny thinks, because the last thing Josh Kiszka needs is a structured game for fart jokes, but he’ll worry about it later). Ronnie is sitting on the other side of the coffee table on the floor, working diligently at untangling a gnarled rope of twinkling lights.
“Hey kiddo,” Kelly says, smiling from where he’s seated on the couch. “Didn’t think we’d see you today - you want a coffee? Come sit.”
“I uh,” Danny clears his throat, wiping his palms on his pants again. God, why is he so sweaty all of a sudden? It’s snowing outside, for fuck’s sake. He’s wearing one of his favourite sweaters (re: one Karen bought him a few Christmases ago that’s covered in little knitted pine trees) and a nicer pair of pants, but he suddenly feels underdressed. “I came to talk to you guys, actually. All of you, if that’s okay.”
It seems to get their collective attention, Karen sitting with a worried expression next to Kelly and Jake setting his guitar down.
“Is everything okay?” Ronnie asks, hands stilling on the tangled lights.
“Yeah, yep,” Danny says, cracking his knuckles nervously. “It’s not - it’s good, not bad. I hope.”
“Sweetheart, why don’t you sit down?” Karen says gently, gesturing to the empty loveseat across from them all.
Danny nods, sitting.
He stands back up almost immediately, too nervous to sit still. He shifts on his feet, swallowing.
“Okay,” he says, more to himself than to the family sitting in front of him. Josh is giving him a worried look, and Jake’s gaze is steady but gentle. “Okay, yeah. So. Alright. Um.”
“Danny,” Josh says, shifting a little to sit forward. “It’s just us. What’s going on?”
Danny looks at them all, taking in the kindness and concern so evident on all of their faces. Faces he’s known for most of his life now. Faces he loves. Faces that are so reflective of the one he loves most in the world.
He nods, blowing out a breath. He makes himself sit down, resting his elbows on his knees and threading his hands together just so they’re occupied.
“You’ve all known me since I was so young,” he starts, praying his voice won’t break. “And you’ve never been anything but welcoming and kind. You gave me a second home like it was no big deal, fed me, cared for me, treated me like I was one of your own.”
Karen takes Kelly’s hand, squeezing it like she’s anticipating something.
“I want to thank you for that,” Danny says, looking at them. He’s doing his best to keep it together, but it’s getting harder by the second. “All of you. It means more to me than I could ever say, and I’m so grateful for each of you and the room you made for me in your lives. It’s a privilege that I don’t take for granted, and I want you to know that.”
“Of course we know that, Danny,” Kelly says, smiling softly. “We love you, kid.”
Danny nods, swallowing. He can feel tears burning behind his eyes, but resolutely keeps them at bay.
“I love you too, so much,” he says, and his voice wobbles a little. He clears his throat. “The respect I have for each of you and for this family is - I can’t even really put it into words. Your opinions and perspectives carry so much weight for me, and I know they do for Sam as well. You’re his world, you know? This family is everything to him, and he’s everything to me.”
“Danny -” Karen says gently, like she’s worried he’s about to fall to pieces.
He gives her a reassuring smile, laughing a little. “Sorry, I know this is kind of weird,” he says. “But I’m almost there, I swear. I just have to say this. It’s important.”
Karen nods, squeezing Kelly’s hand and giving Danny an encouraging nod. Josh, Jake, and Ronnie are still watching Danny carefully.
“I got Josie to take Sam out this morning because I wanted to do this just us,” he explains. He sits up a little, heart pounding. “To have this moment, this conversation. And - well, I guess it’s not really asking for your blessing because we all know that Sam is going to do whatever he wants regardless of what anyone says, but -”
Karen gasps, pressing her hand to her mouth.
Danny smiles, letting out a shuddering breath as he nods. He digs out a little box from his pocket, holding it in his hand.
“I’m going to ask Sam to marry me,” he says, and the words feel like a song. Like the perfect progression of chords, like a rhythm that never ends. He can’t help the nervous laugh that follows, because he just dropped his heart onto the coffee table and has to hope for the best. “And I wanted you all to know first, so that we could talk if, you know, if there was anything you were worried about.”
There’s a moment of silence, certainly no more than a few seconds, that feels like an eternity. And then it’s suddenly broken by a sound, a half hiccuped laugh punctuated by a sniffle.
It’s Jake. His chin is wobbling and there are tears filling his eyes faster than they can roll down his cheeks and he’s smiling.
“Oh, Jakey,” Josh sighs fondly with his own eyes shining, immediately getting out of the armchair to join his twin on the floor. He wraps his arm around his shoulders, tugging him close.
“Jake,” Danny breathes, his own eyes burning. He sits forward, half out of his seat. “Are you - hey, it’s okay -”
Jake shakes his head, still smiling while wiping roughly at his eyes.
“No, it’s - these are happy tears, I swear,” he croaks, voice breaking and choked with tears. “Jesus, Danny. You’ve been our brother for so long, and now it’ll be official.”
“If you’ll have me,” Danny manages to say, tears finally spilling over as he looks at them all. “If Sam will have me.”
That seems to set everyone into motion, all of them getting up and tugging Danny into a massive hug. They’re all crying, happy tears and excited laughter bubbling from the tangle of limbs they’ve made.
“Oh, this is just so special,” Karen sniffs, finally letting Danny go and wiping her eyes. “My first son-in-law!”
“Wait wait,” Ronnie says, holding her hand out. “You had a ring box. Show us!”
“Jake just stopped crying,” Danny teases, earning a whack from the younger twin. He opens the little black box, revealing the gold and black band inside. Golden letters shimmer through the silken black enamel:
ALWAYS
“You’re setting the bar way too high,” Ronnie sniffles, taking the ring out and looking at it. “He’s going to love it. God, he’s going to freak.”
“When are you going to do it?” Josh asks, taking his turn with the ring.
“Well, I was thinking tonight,” Danny says, grinning. “We’ve got a few days before Christmas, so we can celebrate and still leave room for actual Christmas stuff.”
“And then it’s your birthday,” Jake points out.
“Yeah, but that’s whatever,” Danny waves it away. Jake rolls his eyes in disagreement.
“There's supposed to be really nice snowfall tonight,” Danny continues. “So I think we’ll go for a walk. I’ll bring something warm to drink and tell Sam to bring his camera and then,” he wiggles the ring box.
Karen claps her hands together, looking at Kelly. “We can have everyone over tonight,” she says excitedly. “Danny, your family knows, right?”
Danny laughs, her excitement endearing. “They know, yeah.”
“Okay, oh my god,” she says, half spinning on the spot looking for her phone. “Kelly, call Dan and Lori, tell them we’re coming over. We can get everything ready there and then bring it back here so Sam doesn’t suspect anything. We’ll get champagne and snacks and when the boys get back we can surprise Sam and celebrate!”
“Mama,” Josh laughs, reaching out and grabbing her shoulders. “Maybe check with Danny and see if that’s something he wants as part of the night.”
Karen immediately presses her hand to her mouth, turning and grabbing Danny’s hands.
“Oh, of course,” she says. “I’m so sorry, honey! I’m just excited. But whatever you want, if you want the night to yourselves -”
Danny shakes his head, pulling her in for a hug.
“That all sounds amazing,” he insists. “Having everyone together would be perfect.”
Karen claps, nearly jumping up and down on the spot. She turns, looking at her family.
“Alright, Kiszkas. We have work to do!”
-
By the time Danny manages to wrangle Sam out of the house for an evening walk, the sun is beginning to set. They’d enjoyed dinner just the two of them, the house conveniently empty.
“Alright, I’ll admit it,” Sam says, looking through the lens of his camera. “You were right. The light is really nice - god damned winter golden hour shit.”
Danny whistles. “Wow, I might have to write that down. You admitted I was right about something.”
“I’m known for my benevolence.”
“Uh huh,” Danny laughs, holding out a hand for Sam to take. It’s cold, but not so cold that it’s miserable to be outside. They’re bundled up, noses turning pink and breath visible, but the way the setting sun reflects off the snow makes it all worth it.
“Let’s go this way,” Danny says, leading Sam down the path to the nearby park. “Josie was telling me they strung up a bunch of twinkling lights over the bridge.”
“Sounds like you’re trying to put the moves on me, Wagner,” Sam wiggles his eyebrows. “Are you trying to romance me? Woo me? I’m a tough sell, you know.”
Danny snorts. “Oh believe me, I know. You make me work for it.”
“Yeah, but worth the effort,” Sam grins, swinging their hands. They talk about everything and nothing, Sam artfully dodging questions about what he did during the day, thinking he’s keeping a birthday surprise for Danny a secret.
It’s incredibly endearing, and it eases the nerves fluttering in Danny’s stomach.
“Oh wow, that’s pretty,” Sam says, taking his hand back from Danny to snap a photo of the snow dusted park bridge. It’s small, arching pleasantly over a now frozen pond, and twinkling golden lights are strung from the trees on either side and through the railings.
“Here,” Danny says, holding his hand out for the camera. “Go stand on the bridge, I want to take a picture of you.”
“You have a million pictures of me,” Sam says, but hands it over as he walks onto the bridge, standing in the middle.
“Yeah, but this one is special,” Danny murmurs, holding the camera up to his eye. Sam is smiling widely, the glowing sun behind Danny lighting him just enough to paint him gold.
Once he takes it, he moves to join Sam on the bridge, thankful they have the park to themselves in the quiet evening.
“C’mere,” he says, pulling Sam close and pressing their cheeks together. He holds the camera out, hoping it’s at least a little in focus as he takes the selfie.
“That’s what front facing phone cameras are for, grandpa,” Sam teases, still smiling.
“Yeah, yeah,” Danny says. He swallows, heart beating a million miles a minute. “Hey, do me a favour?”
“Nope,” Sam says immediately, popping the p as he starts fiddling with his lens cap.
Danny rolls his eyes, because of course.
“Just -,” he grabs Sam by the shoulders, turning him to face the opposite way, his back to Danny.
“Don’t manhandle me, Daniel -“
“I have a surprise for you, you brat,” Danny laughs. “Shut up and let me do it.”
Sam makes a delighted noise. “Well in that case, carry on.”
“Thanks,” Danny says drily.
The sun is below the horizon now, stars just starting to twinkle overhead. The lights in the trees and on the bridge are casting everything in the golden glow and - just as Danny takes a deep breath - big, fluffy snowflakes start to fall.
He takes the ring box out of his jacket pocket, and lowers himself to one knee. He doesn’t feel the cold - every bone in his body, every nerve ending, every cell, every bit of stardust he’s made of is focused solely on Sam.
“Okay,” Danny says, thankful his voice comes out steady as he opens the box. “You can turn around now.”
Sam turns around, and it takes him a split second to realize Danny isn’t standing. His hands come up to his heart so fast that it almost looks like it hurts.
“Are you fucking serious,” he blurts.
Danny laughs, head thrown back. It’s the most Sam reaction he could’ve hoped for.
“Yeah, Sammy,” Danny says softly, smiling up at him. He can feel the tears in his eyes, but he couldn’t care less. “I’m serious. You have to let me say what I want to say, alright?”
For once - ever, maybe - Sam says nothing, simply nodding, hands over his heart like he’s trying to keep it in his chest.
“Shit,” Danny laughs, wiping at his eyes. “Was really hoping I’d keep it together.”
“You’re doing great,” Sam nearly whispers, the tremble in his voice so painfully sweet that it brings fresh tears to Danny’s eyes.
Danny takes a steadying breath, looking up at Sam.
“Sam,” he starts, no longer fighting the emotion in his voice. “You’ve been my best friend for what feels like my whole life, and if I’m honest, I think I’ve loved you for just as long. You push me, you challenge me, you comfort me, and you understand me like no one else in the world. Every day that I wake up next to you feels like I’ve won the fucking lottery.”
“Even when I steal the blankets?” Sam asks, tears running unchecked down his cheeks.
“Yeah,” Danny laughs, sniffling. “Even when you steal the blankets. Sometimes I think about what life would be like if we hadn’t found each other, if fate or the universe or god or whatever hadn’t brought us together. And… I can’t see it. Not because it’s too painful to imagine, but because I know that there’s no world, no universe, no reality where there’s a me without you. There’s no existence where there’s a Daniel Wagner without a Samuel Kiszka to follow anywhere and everywhere. And -“
He has to take a second to wipe his eyes and take a breath, voice breaking.
“And that makes me feel like I could take on the world, Sam,” he whispers. “It makes me feel unstoppable. Knowing I have you next to me, in my corner and by my side, it makes me feel like there’s nothing I couldn’t do.”
He reaches out and tugs one of Sam’s hands down, pressing his lips to the cold skin of his knuckles.
“You make me so fucking happy, Sam,” he says. “And if you’ll let me, I want to spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make you feel the same way. Will you marry me?”
There's a long moment of silence, and then before Danny even registers that the other man has moved, his back is hitting the snow and he has his arms full of Sam Kiszka.
“Yes!” Sam cries, the sound muffled by Danny’s hair and jacket and probably a mouthful of snow. He’s pressing furious kisses to Danny’s neck, then his jaw, and then all over his face, each punctuated by another ‘yes!’.
Sam sits up, straddling Danny’s lap, hair flying wild and snowflakes kissing his eyelashes.
“I’m making Daniel Wagner my husband!” He whoops, so loud that Danny can’t help but laugh. He rests his hands on Sam’s thighs, content to stare up at him for as long as he can.
Sam looks like an angel, cheeks flushed with cold and lashes still damp with joyous tears. Danny takes Sam’s left hand, setting the ring box on his own chest to pull the gold band out.
“There,” he says, sliding the band onto Sam’s ring finger. “Official.”
Sam lifts his hand, looking at the band. His smile is radiant, eyes shining.
“Always,” he reads aloud. He leans down, holding Danny’s jaw with his left hand as he brushes their noses together. “Promise?”
Danny smiles. “Promise.”
-
“Shh, they’re coming!” Ronnie hisses, nearly skidding on the floor as she runs to hide behind the couch.
All the lights are out in the Kiszka home, everyone tucked behind various pieces of furniture to conceal themselves from view. Strung over the fireplace is a massive banner, lovingly but hastily painted with hearts and ‘CONGRATULATIONS DANNY AND SAM’.
“Man, this will be awkward if Sam said no,” Josie remarks, yelping when Lori pinches her side in reprimand.
The sound of a key turning in the lock makes everyone quiet down, the door opening.
Sam is tapping his boots against the hallway mat, shaking off the snow. “Daniel, if we still have the house to ourselves then I’m about to give you the ride of your life -“
Danny’s eyes go wide, cheeks flushing. He knows everyone is within earshot. “Sam -“
“SURPRISE!”
The lights turn on and everyone pops up from behind couches and bookshelves. Sam nearly jumps out of his skin, screaming and instinctively grabbing for Danny.
“Thank god we interrupted that sentence,” Josh quips, blowing into a paper party horn. Danny looks up at the ceiling, shaking his head with a grin.
“Well?!” Karen asks, bouncing on the spot.
Sam doesn’t move for a long moment, face impressively passive.
Danny pinches him and Sam breaks into a wide grin, holding up his hand. The gold band is there, a perfect fit.
“We’re engaged!” He hollers, immediately kicking off his shoes and jumping into the chaos of family, everyone shouting in excitement and piling in for hugs.
Danny grins, taking off his jacket and shoes, letting himself savour the view for just a moment before joining the fray.
“I like the banner,” he says once he’s exchanged hugs and kisses with everyone, putting his arm around Sam. Around his fiancé.
“Let’s just say there was a battle of wills to end up where we are now,” Dan says, giving his son a rueful smile.
“I maintain ‘same penis forever’ is a great engagement banner,” Josh says, somehow now in possession of a paper party hat that says ‘bridesmaid’ on it.
“It is,” Jake agrees.
“Alright,” Karen claps her hands, ignoring the twins. “Time for a toast!”
Kelly pops a bottle of champagne, filling glasses as everyone passes them around. There’s music playing in the background, the fireplace lit, the Christmas tree twinkling in the corner. Danny’s pretty sure he’s never been happier in his life.
He pulls Sam close, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“We’ve all been family for so long,” Dan says, holding up his glass. “But it feels like magic to welcome you officially into the family tonight, Sam. We couldn’t ask for anything more in a son in law, and couldn’t ask for anyone better for Danny. We love you.”
Danny presses his face into Sam’s hair, trying to keep more tears at bay, but it’s useless. He’s too happy, too fucking grateful for this moment.
“Thank you, Dan,” Sam says, eyes shining.
“And to our gentle giant,” Kelly says, raising his glass. “Danny, it’s our honour to officially welcome you to our family. You’ve been a brother to Jake and Josh since you were just a kid, but to Sam you were always more - his lighthouse, his rock. You make each other better, and we are so proud of you both.”
“To Sam and Danny,” Jake calls, lifting his glass.
“To Sam and Danny!”
The clink of glasses sounds like ringing bells as Danny leans down to kiss Sam properly, smiling against his lips.
“To us,” he whispers.
“Hell yeah,” Sam grins. “Always, baby.”
#danny gvf#jake kiszka#sanny#sanny gvf#sam kiszka/danny wagner#sam kiszka#sam gvf#josh kiszka#greta van fluff#greta van fleet#greta van fic#danny wagner
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm finally free until january fourth which means i should be around to write more and get to overdue dms ! i'm gonna get to current drafts gradually but here's a wishlist in case anyone wants to indulge me and my brain babies . . . please like this if you're interested and i'll get to you by the end of the week !
wanted concepts :
anything winter / christmas / new years eve . . . i need to get in the holiday spirit asap
maybe a mumu where there are workers and tourists at a ski resort or tourist-y town ??
strangers who share a nye midnight kiss and can't leave each other alone after
gen v inspired things / a mumu . . . i would prefer to play ocs but canons are welcome !
supernatural vibes ( as in creatures — not the show suhjskdij ) . . . can be serious or a little silly and goofy
road trip - esque plots ( i.e. our muses were road - tripping solo , met each other at a rest stop / gas station and decided to finish the trip together or two young adults / lovers / friends / siblings who don't feel like they fit in anywhere and decide to find their place in the world )
always a sl*t for fake dating or enemies to lovers
a costar for my actor muse . . . can go a million different ways
muses for any of my artsy babies ( i have a bunch of them ! )
battle of the bands . . . rival bands . . . musician things . . .
really anything from this tag .
muses i want to use asap :
apollo ortiz : small town guy who was a superstar in his prime , star baseball player , nearly drafted to the mlb but got injured and had to return home . currently teaches local high school / kiddie leagues and has a lot of anger in his heart . fc: jan luis castellanos .
adonis ' doni ' laurent : rich kid who grew up with shady parents who sheltered him from anyone and anything they didn't approve of . currently an actor ( can be aspiring or a - list depending on plot ) and has a bad habit of being dishonest . fc : harris dickinson .
victoria ' tori ' cabrera : my angel baby . . . my number one . . . i can never have too many plots with her . fashion intern , fashion student or stylist intern ( depends on plot ) with major mommy issues . a little spitfire who craves affection but has no idea what to do with it when she gets it . fc : nailea devora .
devon rhodes : an eccentric part - time art teacher and part - time art shop owner with a heart of gold . has no filter , lets whatever pops in her head fly out of her mouth or puts it into her art . still a bit new to me but i'm dying to write her . fc : taylor russell .
margot dai : very new . still fleshing her out . but a major aesthete who works in a florist shop and may even dabble in wedding planning . loves pretty things and watching them grow . would love to flesh her out with someone ! fc : havana rose liu .
malachi barone : very new x2 . i know very little about this man except that he's essentially a hermit , tends to come off as a bit pretentious and has an extensive knowledge of art as a curator . dying to write him and sort him out . fc : jeremy allen white .
#friendly reminder that i DO prefer to write on discord but tumblr is also fine . . . esp if ur giving me something from this list SIJKDD#indie rp#discord rp#rpc#1x1 rp#indie bi rp#*wishlist#pls be sure to read my rules !
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello!! What's your favorite Zelda game?
- hero-of-the-wolf
SkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardsword
Skyward sword :)
I uhh am kind of nervous to share but you asked so ima rant about my life and why I love skyward sword :))
I was the youngest child, which leads to some problems with being included- but with video games I was actually ok with that. I was always a coward- if a character so much as had red eyes I would have nightmares and not be able to sleep for uhhh a bit. So movies and video games gave me wayyyy too much anxiety. Jump scares and being surrounded were terrifying to me- I also felt I wasn't good at video games with the controls. But I did like spending time with my siblings!
Anyways my mom (love her) was one of the adults as a kid who thought video games were evil- she didn't necessarily buy the theory of it rotting our brains, but she did want us to get outside a lot. But one Christmas we did get a wii... and skyward sword :DDD
We played games together- I did the gaming sometimes, but it was mainly my siblings. I always had thoughts/suggestions on the dungeons lol. However we didn't really have enough attention spans as kids to finish it. It was funny because it became a kind of pattern- my siblings would decide to play skyward sword! :D and we would start the game and make it to like the first dungeon and stop XD. We still all remember and have the entirety of skyloft and the opening to first temple + ghirahim boss memorized, but us actually beating the game was a no. The furthest we got on a run was getting the water dragons scale, at which point we enjoyed swimming drowning link until we ran out of steam again.
But I was still so scared of playing video games myself- there was umm. A lot of screaming and panic whenever I was attacked, which was mildly annoying to my family. (Child me was chaotic but we love her <3)
Cut forward years and we ended up stuck in a house together during Covid... at which point my mom threw away all previous ideas of video games being bad and bought us a bunch XD. Then there came a point as (college) adults that we all wanted and bought Switches- my brother says he started the Nintendo "switch revolution" in our family since he was the first
My sister helped me a lot. She was the one who showed me animal crossing as a chill video game, and how I could calmly catch the scorpions and tarantulas in that game (eeeeeeeh). I watched her play botw on wii u and she helped me beat (eiffjjdfkjfkf scary) thunderblight ganon without panicking. After that I decided to have they were fun! Fights still give me anxiety sometimes, but overall I'm actually good at it- which I hadn't expected lol
And then I got skyward sword hd on switch. And this was like. The moment for me I started really loving video games. I played through like me and my siblings used to do (nostalgia man). And I fully finished a video game. And obviously sobbed over sksw Zelink. Then I helped my dad through it- we also played games with him (and he is not the best at it), so me and my dad played through sksw in a summer.
I love all Zelda games are so so good- I've played a lot like the og legend of Zelda, botw, totk, twilight princess- and I just got wind waker and am excited to play it :D
So I love skyward sword as my favourite video or Zelda game ever because of nostalgia- it was my first Zelda game and has a lot memories for me from when we were kids :)
:)
I hope I made sense idk if all of my words were understandable. And also thank you so much for asking I love you forever and might melt whenever asked about myself fifdigjdockng sorry for ranting so long
#personal#oot and minish cap I'm coming for you#not sure about having the guts to do majoras mask yet#Loz#Zelda#sksw#you're playing through wind waker now yes?#a wolf friend
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Soulmate AU in which you get born with a tattoo representing your soulmate. While they can match, that's usually a rare case. However, they do show in the same place (e.g. If your tattoo is on your right shoulder, your soulmate's tattoo is also on their right shoulder). The tattoo starts to fade when your soulmate dies until it is no longer there.
Crown with cracks - Represents Marco's loyalty. His desire to work for the king and help the citizens of the wall. The cracks make allusion to Marco's innocence and pure heart, but also the corruption behind the very thing he's admiring. They also represent his downfall, as that ignorance is what will kill him one day.
Omelet - Represents Jean's love. His desire to leave a life of loneliness behind yet still holding into the small things of his childhood. The way his exterior is harsh and hard to love yet his interior is soft and full of love, just like an omelet. It takes hard work, perseverance, patience and love to make the perfect omelet.
X
"I think my soulmate is part of the royalty" that was the first time Marco has ever heard Jean talk about his soulmate. For someone so arrogant and cocky, he has always avoided the subject when brought up.
Now there was no one around to bring the subject up. The stars were bright and heavy in number, with no cloud to cover them. It was Marco's idea to sneak out and watch them ; it reminds him a lot of home and how he used to watch the stars with his siblings. Jean wasn't looking at them, his gaze glued to the ground ; for how long he's been doing that Marco doesn't know.
"Is that why you truly want to join the Military Police?" there were many questions he had for Jean, all of them piled up in the back of his mind waiting for the right moment. Marco was a patient soul, aware that someone like Jean was best left alone. It was that patience and willingness to not push that made their friendship blossom so beautifully.
Jean half strughs, not really answering the question. Marco nods, knowing the true meaning behind the gesture. Once again he doesn't push, for now content with the small information Jean was willing to disclose.
"Mine might be a chef" at that affirmation Jean moves his attention away from the ground, his gaze landing on Marco.
"My tattoo is of an omelet. When I was younger I thought it means that my soulmate truly loves them, so I begged mom to teach me how to make the perfect one" he adds when Jean's attention is fully on him, a soft smile painted on his face. "Mom said it probably means he's a good cook, but taught me regardless. Her theory makes more sense than mine anyway"
His laugh is the only sound they hear in the darkness of the night, Jean's own chuckle joining soon enough. There was a slight blush on Marco's face of embarrassment, one hidden well by the lack of light. Jean saw it anyway.
"My mom… She, um. She makes really good omelets. I could teach you her receipt?" now it was Jean's turn to blush of embarrassment, something that didn't go unnoticed by Marco.
There was a flow of warmest going through Marco's body, filling him with happiness. He couldn't remember a time when he had smiled so bright, happy from both gaining Jean's help and getting his friend to open up to him even more. The news were like a Christmas gift to him, one that he was never going to forget.
"We can trade. I could use another option on the way I make my omelet"
The smirk he got to associate with Jean came back on his friend's face, the promise made between them without any further words. It was moments like these that made Marco glad he didn't listen to the other cadets and actually gave Jean a chance.
"Then let's do it!" Marco's smile fell instantly once Jean said the words, his friend getting up from the ground and walking towards the cafeteria. He has to rush to get up and follow his friend, his heartbeat running a marathon in his chest.
It was also moments like these, when Jean would let his impulsive thoughts guide his actions and do reckless things, that made Marco regret some of his life choices.
"Right now?! What if we get caught?" he couldn't help but worry, aware of how harsh Keith Shadis could be. No one has forgotten Sasha's punishment back on their first day as cadets, even after such a long time.
"We won't. Everyone is asleep." upon noticing the worried look on his friend's face Jean let out a dramatic sigh and put his arm around Marco's shoulders, bringing him closer "C'mon Marco, live a little! There's no better time than now"
The smile on Marco's face was shaky, but enough for Jean to know that everything was going to be alright.
X
Jean was in another world altogether. It wasn't like his mom's omelet, no one was going to make it as good as her, but it was one of the best he has ever eaten. He didn't bother to slow down, eating the food like a starved man. There was a deep warmest in his chest, one he had only felt around his mom when he was younger. Love, he vaguely throught.
"Your soulmate is going to be so lucky, you have no clue" the words were spoken through a full mouth, it was a miracle Marco has said nothing about it.
Instead he was smiling, a bright and full of life one. Marco's smiles have always been like that, filling Jean with a happiness he has never thought possible. Jean never understood it, how could someone bring so much brightness in a person's life.
"Yours is going to be just as lucky"
Jean shook his head at the compliment, used to it by now. It was easier for Marco to compliment back than accept the compliments and praises said to him.
"You dork" he said once he swallowed what was left of the omelet, a smirk on his face, "Now is your turn. Try mine before it goes cold!"
The last time Jean felt so anxious was when he was seven, on his first day of school. It was like the time wasn't moving at all while Marco was taking the first bite ; it was only then that Jean realized how much Marco's opinion on it meant to him. He wanted for Marco to love it, the same way he loves it.
Marco's eyes widened ever so slightly before he let out a laugh, one that was filling his eyes with tears. At that moment Jean felt his heart sinking in his stomach, his cheeks warming with embarrassment. His shoulders hunched in defense, harsh words already on the tip of his tongue waiting for Marco's mean words ; he didn't need them in the end, not when Marco gave him a look full of love and wonder while taking another bite of the omelet, tears falling freely over his cheeks and highlighting his freckles. He looked beautiful in that moment, in a way only in dreams made any sense.
"Jean, this is amazing! I have never tasted something so good in my life!" he confessed between bites, another laugh full of life following soon after. At the positive words Jean let himself relax, joining Marco in his laughter.
Jean has never felt so good before ; he has never had friends growing up, Marco being his first and only. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to stay by Marco's side for the rest of his life, so they could enjoy more moments like these together.
"Hey, Jean" a long time has passed since they stopped laughing when he said the words, attracting Jean's attention. Only when Jean looks directly at him does Marco continue, a content smile on his face, "We are going to join the Military Police together, right? You're going to find your soulmate and I'm going to give my heart and soul to you two. Protect the royal family with all I got!"
"Don't be ridiculous" knowing Marco, he was truthful at that moment. Jean shook his head in disapprovement, a small frown on his face. "You're going to find your soulmate too. Then we're going to live a comfortable life inside the walls, the four of us. Together"
Marco's eyes softened at the words, his smile small and soft.
"Alright. Together"
"What are you doing here, maggots?!"
The new voice startled the two boys, making them jump away from the table. Jean hit his hip while doing that and Marco nearly fell on the ground, but they both got up and saluted instructor Shadis.
By the look on his face, their punishment wasn't going to be an easy one. But Jean thought everything was worth it ; it was for Marco after all.
((He withdraw the sentiment on the third day of night training))
#I don't know man my hand slipped and this got born#anyway#aot#jean kirstein#jeanmarco#aot jean#marco bodt#marco bott#snk#aot marco#jean kirschstein#soulmate au#JeanMarco Soulmate AU#oneshot#one shot#I mean is under the cut man no one forcing ya to read the OS too you know???#just putting it out there#Anyway this is posted on AO3 too! Fic name 'Together'. My username is in the pinned post on my blog lol
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey Bea I have another idea for Steve Kemp reads could you write something based on the lines that Steve surprises the kids and reader with a trip to Cancun for a family Christmas trip.
Merry Christmas Bea Love Everly.
pairing: steve kemp x dark!reader
12 days of christmas - day 6
Growing up, Y/N loved Home Alone. She loved the full house, the family getting together for Christmas and everywhere you look, you could see kids and family excited for the season. She used to think that perhaps her life would turn out like that; however, now, as she stared at her house full of people running around like maniacs, she realised that most of those people were her kids. At least the house was full. Aaron was clinging onto his mother's leg, watching as their siblings prepared their luggage much later than she had intended. Y/N looked down, grabbing Aaron and holding him against her side. He was behaving particularly good, specifically when it was the first time he was travelling by plane. He’d even had Steve buy him a mini toy plane which he was now playing with as their siblings packed every single swimsuit they had.
- Honey. - Steve came up from behind her. - The airport is arriving from the shuttle in 10 minutes. How are the kids?
- Daddy, plane. - Aaron handed the plane over to Steve who smiled at his son.
- Daisy is packed and Billy is upstairs with her ...
- Why is Billy coming with us again? - he interrupted his wife, who rolled her eyes at him.
- Because Billy does not have as good of parents as we are. Besides, you were the one who suggested it.
- Because I thought she’d say no. - he rolled his eyes. - The triplets, Rose and William?
- Rose is packed, the triplets are fighting and William in the garage deciding which roller skates to take.
Steve groaned, turning to go and convince his eldest son to decide which roller skates to take. The girls meanwhile came downstairs each holding their suitcase, while Daisy was showing her poor boyfriend her new copy of the Bell Jar - as if she didn’t have three in her bedroom already. Steve soon returned with William, defeated and holding three pairs of roller skates and regretting not listening to his wife when she told him to get an extra hold luggage for the toddlers.
- Right, there’s two shuttle buses to the airport. Triplets, Aaron, Billy with Y/N. Daisy, William and Rose with me.
- But dad, can ...
- No. - Steve interrupted Daisy. - You will go with me and Billy will go with your mother so he can help with the bags.
- Sure, let’s say that’s the reason dad. - Ivy smirked. - Do they have hot guys in Cancun?
- You are sixteen, Ivy. - Steve turned around, still holding the roller skates.
- Daisy was ...
- Daisy got out of my sight. That’s on me. - he interrupted. - Go to the car and count heads. No thinking of men in lewd manners until you’re 45.
- MUM! DAD IS BEING UNREASONABLE. - Ivy followed after her mother who had started to put the bags in the shuttle, still holding Aaron against her side. - Mum, Dad said I can only date when I’m 45.
- He’s joking, honey. - Y/N kissed her daughter’s head.
- I am not. 45 years old and not a year sooner. Now get into the shuttle or so help me, you’re staying here with the cat.
- You wouldn’t leave me behind. You’d have no one else to bully Billy with.
- No one’s bullying Billy. - Y/N sighed. - Steve can you get into the shuttle? If we have to run to the gate again, I will divorce you.
- Alright, everyone. Into the shuttle before I have to give your mum another child.
- DAD! NO!
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Martin Evershed x reader - not all it seems to be
A/N: special thanks to @casserole-from-dads-asserole for helping me create this and listening to my outlandish ideas 😌💜
Sitting on the chair, you rested your head on your best friends shoulder and she laughed a little, patting your leg.
“What’s going on Mikealson?” She asked.
“Ouch, thought we were friends Carter.”
“We were until you stole half my lunch.”
You grinned up at her a little and sighed again, closing your eyes as you grumbled a little bit.
“I’m going to take that woman’s head off…”
“Sue?”
You hummed, and Mandy chuckled a little, setting her phone down as she turned a little and you opened your eyes, looking up at her.
“I think that’s considered murder.”
“I’d get away with it.”
“I know that’s what’s terrifying (Y/N), you could get away with it. But why? That’s the question.”
“Because she keeps making comments about my family because of the Christmas party. I think my brothers and sister were charming! She wasn’t even invited!”
“Have you met your siblings?”
You rolled your eyes and grabbed her hand, holding it lightly. 
“My siblings are wonder, thought kind of crazy.”
“More than crazy, Rebekah threw Klaus out of a windows.”
You snickered a little as you remembered that scene.
Signing, you rested your hands on your stomach and stared up at the ceiling.
“So we’re just laying on people now?”
You moved your eyes and grinned at the man who had appeared with his coffee.
“Only people I like.”
“Well move your feet some of us want to sit down.”
You lifted your feet, and when Martin sat down you placed them on his lap, and carried on staring at the ceiling.
Martin placed a hand on your legs, and looked at you.
“What’s with the sour face?” He asked.
“Mrs Carp happens to be annoying (Y/N), and (Y/N) doesn’t like her.”
Martin laughed and agreed with you, saying not many people did like that woman.
You laid there quietly for a few minutes until Mandy shoved your head a little.
“Get up I have a class to teach, not all of us have a free afternoon.”
You grinned a little and sat up, spun around and rested your head next to Martins leg as all the others went to teach their classes.
You looked up at him and reached up, poking the side of his face to get his attention.
“Don’t you have things to be doing?” You asked.
“Don’t you?” He replied.
You hummed, shrugging a little.
“Touché my dear friend, touché.”
He chuckled, and set his paperwork down and looked at you.
“So, you’re just going to hide out in here?”
“Well, not class and can’t go home yet, so yeah.”
“Great, I’ll hide with you.”
You grinned at him and he grinned a little back, going back to his paperwork and you carried on laying there.
You occasionally got up to wonder around, get something to eat or drink, but for the rest of the day you just laid there and slept.
“Seriously?” Martin asked himself.
He smiled and you and took his blazer off, covering you up with it.
He absentmindedly placed a hand on your head, smoothing it over your hair.
He had to leave before you woke up to the bell ringing.
Sitting up, you smiled as the blazer fell and you picked it up, tossing it on you wondered back to your classroom to gather your stuff.
Making your way back to the reception you saw Martin standing there waiting.
“Am I going to get that back or…?”
“Hey, leave it and loose it Evershed, your blazer is mine now.” You grinned.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head as you stood by the door with him.
“Are you still coming to the fundraiser in a few days? I know you’ve got holiday for the next two weeks but you helped put it together.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be there Martin.”
He smiled and nodded his head.
Turning his attention back to the leaving students, he noticed two men walking over and he sighed a little.
“You’ve got guests.”
You turned around and gasped, dropping your bag you rushed over, jumping into the arms of one of them as he spun you around.
“Elijah!”
“Hello (Y/N).” He smiled.
Grinning from ear to ear, you let him go and turned to Klaus who was pouting a little.
“Oh don’t pout Niklaus, we all know who she likes more.”
“I should be the favourite brother.” Klaus huffed.
“Aw klaus, you’ll always be my favourite hybrid.”
He rolled his eyes and opened his arms to hug you lightly, and you happily hugged him back.
“Why’re you here?”
You pulled away and looked at them, and both their faces went straight as they shook their heads and you knew what that meant.
You nodded and held out a hand, walking over to pick up your bag again.
“Sorry Martin, I have to go. Thanks for the blazer.”
You took his blazer off and handed it back, kissed his check then you rushed away.
Once you got home, you forced your two brothers to sit down and you stood in front of them, arms crossed over your chest.
“Talk. Now.”
“Look, we don’t know all the details, but we believe a group of hunters are in the area.” Klaus said.
“What?!” You hissed.
“Look we will explain everything (Y/N), I promise, just sit down.” Elijah sighed.
You looked at the more rational brother and nodded your head, sitting in the arm chair opposite them.
And they explained everything, the reason the hunters had come this far out, what they were looking for and why.
And you felt yourself growing more and more furious as time went on and they told you more and more.
“So let me get this straight, they’re here for me? And they’re going to use anyone to get to me?” You asked.
They nodded and your phone chimed.
Furrowing your brows you picked it up and read the text message.
Martin: if you want to keep him safe you know where to meet us Mikealson.
“Oh you bitch…” you whispered.
Standing up, you grabbed your jacket and stormed out of the house towards your car, and you two brothers followed you without thinking twice about it.
You knew where they wanted you to go, they wanted you to go to the old foreclosed house on the edge of the town.
You made one stop, then carried on until you got there, and the three of you walked up, and you pounded on the door.
It opened and you saw Martin being held by a few people and you snarled.
Your brothers stepped in front of you.
“You can’t come in. You know that.” One smirked.
“Oh really?” You mused.
He nodded his head, grinning from ear to ear.
“Elijah?” You asked.
You brother hummed, and turned to the hunters.
“Did you know when a home is foreclosed by a bank, it becomes the bank’s property? All it takes is an interested party to purchase that property and therefore it becomes theirs, correct?” He asked.
“Therefore, that means anyone can enter.” Klaus mused.
“Anyone.” You smirked.
Elijah and Klaus stepped through the door first, and you stepped behind them.
“Now, before things get rather messy, I suggest you let that man go.” You warned lowly.
“Take one step closer and I’ll paint the walls with him.” The hunter snarled.
Your brothers growled and went to step forward, but you grabbed them and pulled them back behind you.
“Don’t.” You hissed.
The vampires nodded and let you take the lead on this.
Martin stared at you ferried and you offered him a sweet smile before turning back to the hunters and you glared.
“I will wipe you off your feet by myself if you do not remove your hands from that man god help you all I will make you suffer.” You growled.
“It’s not him we want, it’s you, so hand yourself over and we’ll let him go.”
“You think I’m stupid?” You snapped.
They shrugged and held Martin in a tighter grip, and you watched as one of them walked over.
“Maybe this will convince you.”
He punched Martin in the face and you snapped, rushing over, you shoved your hand through the hunters chest.
“I warned you.”
You pulled your hand back and let him drop, Klaus dealt with the two holding the man and Elijah caught him before he could fall to the floor.
“Get him out here Elijah, take him back to mine.”
“Of course. I’ll take care of him.”
Elijah helped a stunned Martin from the room and you turned to klaus, rolling your shoulders as you grinned and nodded your head.
It was easy to deal with the hunters and you both walked back to the house, giving Elijah plenty of time to calm Martin and talk to him.
When you got home, you quickly changed, washing the blood from your skin and you went down stairs, to where Elijah was stood blocking the living room door.
“He really hasn’t calmed, I don’t think it had fully hit him yet.”
“Alright, thanks Eli.”
Slipping past your brother into the room and you found Martin sat in the corner, staring at you in fear.
“Martin…?”
You tried to step closer but he pushed himself back and you stopped, raising your hands you sat down on the floor.
“Martin you need to let me explain, okay?”
“You killed him…”
“He was going to kill you.”
“You killed him…”
You sighed, and you nodded your head.
“You’re a murderer… oh god you work at the school and you’re a murderer!” He yelled.
“Martin! Martin calm down!”
He went to rushed away and you quickly stopped him, hand on his chest as you held him against the wall.
“You’re a monster! What the hell are you?!”
“Calm down! Okay?! And I’ll tell you everything!”
“No! Let me go! I’m calling the police!”
You pushed him back a little and stepped forward so you were toe to toe with him.
Looking up, you found him refusing to meet your gaze.
“I can make you forget, okay? I can make you forget if that’s what you wanted Martin. About tonight, about my brothers, about me. I can do that for you.”
He numbly nodded his head.
He wanted to forget, he wanted all of this to be a bad dream because there’s no way it could be real.
He sank back down and you dropped to your knees in front of him, moving your hand from his chest to ghost over his cheek.
You looked at him but he wouldn’t look at you.
“Can I at least explain? Please?” You begged.
“You killed someone (Y/N)! What is there to explain!?”
“They would’ve killed you! Just to get to me they would’ve killed you Martin! I had no choice because how could I live knowing that I was my fault!?”
“Then maybe you should’ve never come here! I should have never met you and it would all be fine!” He yelled.
You stared at him in shock, tears streaming down your face.
“What…?”
“It was a mistake meeting you, if you knew you were a danger you shouldn’t have ever come here! It’s all your fault! All of it!”
He brought a hand to cover his mouth.
“Oh my god I’ve hugged you… held your hand.. I asked you to dinner the other night… were you going to kill me too?!”
“No. No. No. No. No. Martin no, no I swear. I swear I was never going to hurt you, I could never hurt you.” You rushed out.
“Well you sure as hell have no issue killing people!”
You lowered your head, tears streaming down your face as you shook your head.
“It’s why I came here… to get away… I.. I… met you.. I never wanted to go back to that life…”
You looked up, teary eyes gazing into his fearful ones.
“I need you.. I love you. And I… I would give up every single thing that makes me who I am just so I could be with you Martin, everything.”
He shook his head and you took a deep breath.
“I’ll.. I’ll make it go away… I’ll make you forget..” you sobbed.
“Why?! What do you care!? Why would you?!”
You sobbed even harder, reaching up you placed your hands on his face and put your forehead against his.
“I just… I want you to be happy…” you spoke shakily.
You pulled away and looked at him, wiping his tears away before you closed your eyes and breathed deeply before opening your eyes.
“I love you…”
With that, you compelled him to forget everything about you and your brothers, everything he saw to day.
You made him forget it all, and compelled him to sleep, and when his eyes closed you let your tears fall free again.
“I’ll take him home.” Elijah whispered.
You nodded, running your fingers down Martin’s face, kissing his forehead and stood up to let your brother take him home.
Klaus walked over and pulled you in for a hug as you sobbed into his chest.
“It hurts so much…”
“I know, I know.” He whispered.
He held you tightly, resting his chin on your head.
“We’ll go, far away from here. Wherever you want, okay? I don’t care where, it’s up to you.”
You just nodded and klaus sighed.
“He seemed nice.” Klaus whispered.
“He was…”
Elijah came back and you sat with them the whole night, crying your eyes out.
When morning came around, you handed in your resignation with the trust effective immediately, told Mandy you were leaving for personal reason and you left.
You took nothing, no clothes, no furniture, nothing. The only thing you took was a jumper that you borrowed from Martin the week before
#Ackley bridge#Ackley bridge x reader#Ackley bridge x you#Ackley bridge imagine#martin evershed x reader#martin evershed imagine#martin evershed x you#martin evershed
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
🎁 General Audiences
🎁 2.6k Words
🎁 For the @twewysecretsanta!
Neku Sakuraba never thought in a million years that he'd get another chance at celebrating Christmas.
He'd saved Shibuya again, reunited with his friends, and even made new ones along the way— It was a happy ending no matter which way you sliced it! Or at least it seemed like it. Why did it all feel too good to be true?
“Neku?” Right, Shiki was with him. He didn't want to worry his girlfriend over something so inconsequential.
But to her, it was anything but that.
Hello everyone! And a belated Merry Christmas to you! ^^;
Thanks to the world of retail sucking the life outta me in the Holiday season, plus catching NO LESS than three colds in December alone, this took longer than I expected.
This is the fic for my giftee @ghostofchaosyettocome in the TWEWY Secret Santa event, using their prompt of a Post-NEO Neshiki Christmas (along with a hint of PTSD!Neku cause we need that drama lol) I hope you like it! <3
And so there she was, sporting an adorable Mr. Mew Christmas sweater of her own making which honestly looked far too big on her, all the while staring at him with a hint of confusion.
Neku Sakuraba never thought in a million years that he'd get another chance at celebrating Christmas.
To say being trapped in the endless void of Shinjuku for two years was scarring would be an understatement— seeing what could only be described as ‘ghosts’ of souls that used to live in a thriving environment, replaying the same tormenting cycle as if they were still alive, when they clearly weren't.
It had taken Neku a long time to come to terms with this fact. That they weren't there. Weren't real.
Yet still, the souls would continue acting on autopilot, reflecting habits from their old lives. Everything from talking, to laughing, to even celebrating. It was a truly surreal experience that never had Neku feeling more alone.
Because of this, the legendary player would find himself understanding better than ever that old saying of ‘You never know what you have until you lose it.’ And the feelings were very much still present, despite having escaped both Shinjuku and the Reaper's game almost five months ago.
He'd saved Shibuya again, reunited with his friends, and even made new ones along the way—It was a happy ending no matter which way you sliced it! Or at least it seemed like it.
Why did it all feel too good to be true?
“Neku?”
A firm yet gentle voice broke the teen out of whatever trance he'd placed himself in, almost causing him to jump out of his skin if he didn't stop himself on time. With all that thinking he'd almost forgotten where he was.
Speaking of his newest friends and going back to the holiday season, the Wicked Twisters had proposed the idea of hosting a small Christmas party with the gang. Well, it was mostly brought up by Fret, who got immediate backup from Shoka and Nagi, so it wasn't like anyone else could refuse.
They'd do it relatively early though, so everyone could still have enough time to go home and spend the evening with their families as well.
The Twisters were in charge of the food, with Fret claiming he had connections with a few restaurants that might be willing to lend a generous hand. The Bito siblings would take care of entertainment, Rhyme almost signing up for the position by herself since she had a few new gadgets she'd been tinkering with that, according to her, would make their little get together much livelier.
Which left Neku and Shiki with the decorations.
The duo had made a date out of the whole thing by going to purchase everything from a tree, to snow globes, to even small things like wrapping paper. Shiki spared no expense in acquiring any of these either, since she considered herself the host due to the party being held at her apartment— It was the largest out of everyone's homes.
Once they'd reunited at the Hachiko statue and fulfilled the promise they'd made to each other all those years ago, Neku felt bold enough to declare his feelings, and he could've never expected them to be reciprocated. After everything he'd put her through, after being what could only be described as a major asshole for the majority of the time they knew each other, how could someone like Shiki Misaki have feelings for him?
Right, he hadn't answered yet.
“Sorry, what was that? I spaced out for a sec there.” Neku rubbed at the back of his neck with a sheepish grin, hoping he could get away without any inquiries.
Shiki continued to stare, most likely trying to decipher what was hiding behind his current expression, before extending her hand towards him. “I'll say! I was asking if you could pass me the ornaments from the box over there.”
Neku followed to where she was gesturing and quickly found the cardboard box behind him. It was filled with all sorts of nick knacks brought together by the gang, each with their own special meanings and ready to be placed on the tree. The teen pushed the box in her direction with a smile. “Sure thing. We won't be short on these, that's for sure.”
As she accepted the box and gave him a small smile, the brunette pushed it to the side for the time being. “Yeah, everyone really put their all into this! Still… you okay?” With a roll of her eyes, Shiki joked lightly. “I'll be needing my decorating buddy at a hundred percent if we're gonna get this done on time.”
“Damn. Guess I can't fool her…” Neku prided himself on being able to mask his true feelings in front of others without anyone realizing it. He'd definitely gotten better over the years in expressing what he felt, but there were times when he didn't deem it necessary, and even considered that they would be a burden if not handled carefully.
But if there was one person that could see right through him, it was Shiki.
Despite knowing all of this, he tried one more time, not wanting his dumb thoughts to interfere with the jolly energy of the season. He smiled once more with a hint of embarrassment in his voice. “Of course I'm okay! I've just been kinda stressed lately with all the organizing we've had to do. Not that I don't enjoy spending time with you, but who knew planning a party would be this hard, haha…”
The look on Shiki's face was more than enough for him, though; It was clear she didn't believe him. Still, her eyes didn't reflect negativity of any kind.
She stood from the ground next to the tree and boxes piled around her, making her way to Neku. After sitting next to him on the couch, she tentatively reached for his hand, but not quite touching it, allowing him to make the first move if he so desired. She then spoke with that firm yet gentle voice he'd grown to love so much. “Hey. Talk to me. Please? Remember you're not alone anymore— I'm right here if you need anything.”
The fluttering in Neku's chest was completely uncalled for and Shiki had no right in bringing him so much comfort. Making him feel taken care of. As if he was special.
And yet that was one of the many qualities that made him love his girlfriend so very much.
Shiki smiled in return with a soft pink hue adorning her cheeks. As she squeezed her boyfriend's hand once more, she rose from her seat. “Actually, wait here! I'm gonna grab something real quick!”
Still, it was true. She claimed to have fallen for the real Neku. The one she'd slowly gotten the pleasure of knowing during their time together in the Reaper's Game— a boy who'd been hurt by the world and only wanted to be left alone, but deep down had a heart of gold that wouldn't allow him to leave those in need.
And so, to literally no one's surprise in their friend group, they became a couple.
It was both awkward yet endearing, and neither could be more happy. But of course, after everything the legendary player had gone through in his two years stuck in Shinjuku, it took a while to readjust and feel comfortable around everyday mundane stuff again.
Shiki learned how to handle Neku's anxieties, his worries, and his fears— most of the time whenever he was having a crisis, their friends would call her immediately to ask what to do. And even though he hated being a burden, the seamstress merely shushed him and said that she did it gladly.
And so here she was, doing the thing she did best— bringing him back to his senses and making sure he felt safe.
He reached for her hand and interlocked their fingers, squeezing slightly while she did the same. She was warm. She was real. “I guess I'm just… still wrapping my head around being here. With you guys.”
With her eyes encouraging him to elaborate, he did. “I spent two years away from everyone. I know it's already been months since then, but there's always that voice nagging at the back of my head… whispering and making me question things.”
“Things like what?” Shiki leaned closer, not into Neku's personal bubble, but enough to show that she was paying close attention.
“Things like… is any of this for real? Or not? I… I get scared thinking I'll just wake up one day and still be stuck there. Thinking that this was all a dream,” a bitter chuckle escaped his lips. “Coco was probably the only person who kept me sane all that time, believe it or not.”
“And that is why she and Tsugumi are getting extra presents this year.” Shiki nodded towards the unwrapped gifts still laying on the coffee table. She bumped her shoulders against his with a wink. “Gotta show appreciation for taking care of my spicy tuna roll in my absence.”
The duo chuckled with the tension dissipating from Neku's shoulders bit by bit. How could she do that so effortlessly?
“In any case,” the brunette turned her gaze to their intertwined hands, gently tracing circles around Neku's knuckles. “I can't begin to imagine what that must have been like. I know you've already told us a bit about it, but if there's anything I can do to make that feeling become a little less overbearing, just let me know. I'm sure the others would do the same, if you ever feel like sharing.”
Neku gave her a soft smile, a genuine one this time. As he lifted their joined hands, he was sure to plant a soft kiss on her own backhand, scarred from all the sewing she was used to doing. In a way it was kind of ironic— she also had a wounded heart, one that Neku did his best to show love and appreciation to every day, and yet she still focused on other's well-being first and foremost. “You're already doing enough just by being here.”
A blush spread across the teen's face with a breathless chuckle leaving his lips. “Come on, Shiki. These are far from perfect. Still, I'm glad you like them.”
With that said, the seamstress practically skipped over to her bedroom in what could only be described as excitement. It took her less than a minute to return with a medium sized box, wrapped in green wrapping paper and tied in a neat purple bow. A grin spread across her face as she presented the gift with pride. “Merry Christmas!”
“Wow, hey,” Neku returned the smile, albeit seeming hesitant as he looked at the box in her hands. “We're doing this now? I mean, we agreed to open the gifts with everyone…”
“Oh don't worry, I've got another much less interesting thing wrapped for you under the tree.” Shiki nodded towards a tiny box lined next to the few wrapped presents that they'd already finished. “Besides, I get girlfriend priority— Now just open it!”
The teen chuckled in amusement, but gladly took the package off her hands and started weighing it around, curiosity clear in his gaze. It had to be something handmade. This was Shiki after all, and she always put that kind of effort into her gifts.
He could've never predicted what was inside.
The box opened to reveal a medium sized notebook, along with a kit of markers and crayons of pretty much every shade of the rainbow. After flipping through the booklet, his mouth hung open slightly.
It was a journal.
“I know your therapist recommended that you keep one, but I couldn't help but notice that the one you have is… well, kinda plain.” Shiki fidgeted with the hem of her fluffy sweater as she began her explanation. “Shoka helped me pick the design and I added the little doodles inside. You can make your own, though! And it also has a custom playlist on a few important dates…”
Tiny drawings with everything from character portraits, to animals, to musical notes were sprinkled here and there. Shiki had never been much of an artist, but Neku could tell she'd spent some time making these. The smile wouldn't leave his face as he kept flipping through it all. “This is… amazing. I love it.”
“You do? Ahh, I'm so glad! I know it's not the best, but I figured it would look better than your plain old notebooks.” Shiki giggled and started showing off some of the things she'd included personally in the journal. A page for positive talk, another for gloomy thoughts that wouldn't go away, and even one for things he might wanna talk to her about.
It was one of the cutest things he'd ever gotten, and honestly he shouldn't be surprised.
“Well, I guess since we're starting early, might as well give you yours.” Neku leaned over to reach for his backpack on the side of the couch, rummaging through it until he found a small green box with a silver bow. He turned to the brunette with a shy smile, not quite meeting her eyes. “Merry Christmas…”
Shiki's eyes instantly lit up as she quickly accepted the gift. With bated breath, he saw her open the box and delicately grab what was nestled inside.
Two small plushies were now in Shiki's hands, and not just any plushies— fluffy replicas of both herself and Neku.
The stitching was quite rough, a few strings already coming loose around the edges, but you could see the tiny details embedded into the fabric. Patterns, accessories and more were all there. The dolls smiled back at Shiki, and Neku could've sworn he heard her gasp softly. “Neku… did you… did you make these?”
Neku merely scratched at the back of his neck, looking anywhere but in her direction as he began to ramble. “I mean, Eri helped me pick out the materials and with the designs, but all the stuffing and stitching was definitely me. I know they aren't great, but you always get me handmade stuff and after thinking about Mr. Mew I thought I could do something similar? You're more than welcome to fix them though, I'm sure you'd do a much better job—”
His train of thought was promptly interrupted by a pair of arms snaking around his own, pulling him downwards with a soft pair of lips placing a kiss on his cheek. He then heard her giggle, happy and carefree. “Are you kidding me? Neku Sakuraba, I am not touching these unless they start falling apart in my hands! Because you made them, and that makes them perfect.”
And that was more than he could ever ask for.
“Like them? I love them!” Shiki reiterated the point by giving the plushies a bear hug. “Now I can have you with me no matter where you are. Doesn't mean you can go off and get yourself tangled in more world-ending adventures, though!”
Neku laughed in reply, feeling the last shred of uneasiness wash away from him. What did he do to deserve such happiness? “I'll keep that in mind. Anyways, you think we can get back to work? Don't want the others to realize we've been goofing off. Nagi won't let us live it down.”
Shiki laughed in reply, placing the dolls on top of her chimney for them to guard the stockings. “Oh man, it's Shoka I'm most worried about. I know she has something special planned for Rindo, so we need to get this tree up and running STAT!”
“Aye aye, captain!” The teen situated himself next to his girlfriend and began to help her decide which ornament would look best where.
Life wasn't always fair. But for some reason Neku couldn't possibly grasp, it was now being extremely kind to him— With a family who cared for him, friends who adored him, and the love of the girl who stole his heart.
✦ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐬! ✦
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
@technodromes sent:
[ Holiday Prompt to Morty, from Bishop ]
🎄 Bishop visited Morty at Thanksgiving to deliver a self-made cake and had been invited to the Smith household for dinner in turn. The shared meal was a pleasant experience for the most part, even though he had to politely turn down a couple of dishes because of his gluten allergy.
He now wants to return that favor as he sends out multiple gifts with an invitation stuck to the main package. The gifts hold breathers for all of them to breathe in Dimension X' toxic atmosphere and a few little individual gifts.
Morty and Summer would find a one-way portal device in their package that would open a portal to Utrominon instantly, should they ever need it. They also have a 100$ gift card sitting in there for their local mall. And Rick? He would find a VERY tiny bag of crystal dust in his package.
The invitation itself is written very formally, as usual.
[ Dear Morty.
To show my gratitude for your invitation from a few weeks ago, you and your family are cordially invited to visit me in Dimension X. I will guide you through Utrominon during your stay and shall prepare dinner afterward. Unfortunately, I cannot show you the Council, but there is a variety of other locations to visit, that I am certain you and Summer would find appealing as well.
Just send me a date and time that would be fitting for a stay in Dimension X and I will make all the necessary preparations for our meeting. The breathers that I sent to you are all equipped with translators as well and should come in use during your visit, in case Rick and his oxygen pills are not available at that time. The same goes for the portal devices to Utrominon, but note that these can be used only one time.
I sincerely hope that you and your family have a pleasant holiday time. Signed, Bishop.
PS: Rick, the crystal particles are for scientific use only. Make no attempts of consumption while you engage in portal traveling or I will arrest you! ]
Waking up to Bishop's gift basket was a very pleasant surprise for the Smith siblings. Christmas had stopped being too normal since Rick had moved in with them, but compared to the lifestyle they are used to nowadays, the day mostly manages to be boring for them.
Reason why the idea of spending it doing something else, exploring another dimension is definitely exciting for them.
"Boo-yah! This is so rad! No having to sit through Dad's mind-numbing movies this year!" Summer exclaims as soon as Morty is done reading the letter out loud. She lifts her breather, clearly enthusiastic at the prospect of a trip to Dimension X. "I'm gonna take so many pictures! Everyone at school will be, like, super jealous."
Setting the first tool aside, she picks up the portal device instead, turning it in her hand. It's nothing like Rick's portal gun, and she has to admit that she's curious to see how it works. Until now all she has seen have been the Utrom triangular portals, but not how they are made.
"It's such a bummer that your friend is such a goodie two shoes, bro," she adds then with a little huff. "A portal device that can be used only once? Seriously? That's, like, so lame."
Morty lets out a sigh at her sister's comment, but he doesn't bother talking back. Trying to defend Bishop would have been a waste of breath. Besides, he too had hoped that the device would function for multiple trips. Even if it opens portal exclusively to one location, it would have still been better than having to rely on Rick or steal his portal gun to go places.
"C-C'mon, Summer. H-He's got us that coupon too! I-I bet that it covers all the birthday presents y-you'll have to buy next year," he chooses to point out instead, pointedly looking at her. He hasn't missed how quickly she has snatched away her gift card. Probably to prevent Jerry from seeing it. "I-I'll let you use some of mine too, i-if you won't tease him too much today."
The girl only shrugs at that, but he can tell that she has been properly bribed, since she doesn't try to argue. Instead, she busy herself with making a post on her Instagram about their plans for the day.
Rick, however, is a whole other matter and Morty knows that he'll be acting all grumpy to Bishop just by the way he is glaring at the tiny bag of crystals.
"I-Is the bubblegum for real? W-What the fuck am I even supposed to do w-with so little?" He grumbles, but he still pockets the gift. "C-Can hardly make one dose with this shit."
Of course Bishop would still be hang up over their last messy adventure. And then he dares to wonder why he gets called a killjoy. Whatever. He is going to do what he wants with those crystals and he's going to exploit their little trip to the other's version of Dimension X to see if he can find more.
"An-And what the hell is that crap about scientific use only? S-Synthetising drugs is fuckin' science!"
#[ ic :: c137 Rick ]#[ ic :: Summer ]#[ ic :: Morty ]#&& Bishop#[ v. TransMortional Ricknections: Technodrome edition ; tmnt xover :: c137 Rick ]#[ v. TransMortional Ricknections: Technodrome edition ; tmnt xover :: Morty ]#[ v. TransMortional Ricknections: Technodrome edition ; tmnt xover :: Summer ]#technodromes#[ ic :: event ; christmas presents ]
2 notes
·
View notes