#gwyn and mosk are very different people in this series

[not-poignant]

Why is Augus nice to Gwyn in Green as the Ragged Grass but so mean to Mosk in Smoke in Autumn?

Does this au Mosk just simply trigger the worst in Augus?

Tbh, Augus isn't that 'nice' to Gwyn either, in As Green as the Ragged Grass! He's definitely nicer overall, but he's extremely pushy, he plays very fast and loose with both boundaries and safewords, and he doesn't pre-negotiate 95% of what he does. It just looks nicer than it is because a) Gwyn is a masochist and he finds Augus very attractive, so from Gwyn's perspective, everything that's happening is a good thing even if it's hard, painful, or difficult, and b) Gwyn doesn't understand BDSM etiquette, so he won't spot all the ways Augus flouts it knowingly.

But there's definitely a few things that have already been touched on in Smoke in Autumn so far that account for why Augus behaves the way he does with Mosk vs. the way he behaves with Gwyn:

Gwyn isn't rude. Mosk is. Augus has been like... pretty obvious that he can't really abide rudeness and anyone who disrespects him who he can dominate will earn consequences/punishments from him. Gwyn, on the other hand, is respectful, admiring, and awe-struck from the beginning, and that never changes. He's never intentionally rude to Augus, so Augus has no real reason to intentionally punish him, and doesn't really pick up that dynamic with him.

Augus doesn't know who Gwyn is, but he certainly knows who Mosk is, and they have a history together where Augus has flirted with Mosk just to see how rudely or standoffishly he'll react. He's never really considered Mosk a serious prospect in the past, and it's clear from the beginning that there's been a long history of Augus just making passes at Mosk for his own amusement, and Mosk being like 'ew gross.' Mosk's ongoing rudeness definitely keeps bringing Augus back lmao.

Augus deep down is bitter that Mosk is the only one who survived the fire that killed Mosk's family (especially given rumours that Mosk may have been responsible for the fire). Some of Augus' actions are certainly rooted in a kind of bitter, twisted revenge for losing his friends/acquaintances (Mosk's parents), as well as a twisted, misdirected guilt at never being as close as he wanted to be with Mosk's parents.

Mosk is Augus' kind of 'perfect' project. In that... Mosk has genuine resistance, genuine struggle, genuine moments of withdrawing consent, and genuine suffering, along with genuine arousal, genuine response to praise, genuine submission (occasionally), and a genuine need to have his limits pushed. Gwyn is 'fun' for Augus, Mosk is like... darkly appealing to him. Augus is a dyed-in-the-cloth sadist, which means he likes a submissive who is genuinely struggling more than he likes one who genuinely loves everything he's dishing out.

Finally, Augus likes pushing limits and boundaries, and he likes doing things he shouldn't do (he's an asshole, lol) and Mosk will let him. Like, Mosk won't safeword and doesn't want to, and refuses to even when Augus pushes him relentlessly for it. He won't talk about any limits except for like one or two. He doesn't negotiate and he doesn't want to negotiate. And he's already proven he won't retaliate against Augus with legal action (which like...he could - even Augus says so in chapter 4). So Augus kind of getting an opportunity to do things to someone that would be illegal if he did them to anyone else, is to Augus, very appealing.

For Augus, Gwyn is a passing diversion, which is why he doesn't really push for anything more with him. Gwyn is just enough aligned with what he likes that he has a good time, but not quite aligned enough that Augus wants anything long-term with him - he wants him as an arborist more than he wants him as a lover.

Mosk is...destructive, pretty, rude and desperately in need of training, discipline and structure. Not only that, but he has a lot of trauma, and it's a trauma that Augus shares to a degree with him. They are connected by their pasts, and their losses. (This is why Augus is often very frequently thinking about Mosk's burns, the pain they must have caused him, and Mosk's family).

Augus finds him fascinating and repulsive at the same time. And frankly, Mosk feels exactly the same way about him.

...Man writing this out makes me want to write more chapters with these two in this particular story, lol. Smoke in Autumn is pretty much the only story for me where the outcome is 100% Augus/Mosk OTP, and anyone else is 'passing diversion' level to this Augus.

(But both Augus and Mosk don't know this yet and they'd be horrified if they knew lmao).

[splinter-cat]

Do you ready books often? (And do you have any book reccomendation?)

Unfortunately I don’t read often, I’ve struggled with reading for like 15 years now due to my ADHD. I often miss it because I used to be one of those “reads a book in one night” kids. My "to read" list gets longer and longer each year because I add to it more than I actually read off of it, haha.

That said, I have managed to read a few things over the years that I’ve loved! Long post so it's under a cut:

Otherworld series by Kelley Armstrong

Goodreads link here!

Obviously I have to start with the series I've done the most fanfic for, haha. Bitten is about Elena Michaels, the world's only known female werewolf. It follows her as she navigates accepting having become a werewolf and her place in her pack and with her mate.

The series itself follows Elena for the first two books before switching to another narrator, the witch Paige Winterbourne. A few more narrators crop up during the series, each with different powers and romances. Occasionally the series returns to earlier characters, like how books six and ten return to Elena. There are also a ton of short stories and novellas taking place before, during, and after the series, and if you like the werewolves there are plenty of stories following them.

The series still has some of my favorite werewolves I've read about, which is why I like writing in the world so much. It's pretty much what kick started my werewolf obsession, haha. Unfortunately the series is extremely hetero- and cisnormative, so even when queer characters are (rarely) introduced, the writing isn't the best (hence so much of my fanfic being queer lol). But the main characters are still a lot of fun to read about and the plots are full of suspense, mystery, and magic.

So, if you like werewolves and witches and vampires, I recommend this series! Just go in knowing it's a strictly het romance series.

Fae Tales series by Pia Foxhall/not_poignant

Found on AO3 here.

Okay, so really I would rec anything by Pia, but I wanted to start with this one.

The first part of the series is Deeper into the Woods, which follows the Seelie King, Gwyn ap Nudd, as he seeks healing from an Unseelie waterhorse, Augus Each Uisge. It's a shorter introduction to the characters and Augus' healing-through-BDSM methods.

The next part is Game Theory, which follows Gwyn after he has defeated the former Unseelie King, Augus, and imprisoned him. It's an amazing enemies-to-lovers story with a captor/captive dynamic where it's not always clear who really holds the power.

After that the series goes for another million+ words of political intrigue, epic fantasy quests, and another amazing enemies-to-lovers dynamic with Mosk Manytrees and Eran Iliakambar. If you like long, character focused stories of trauma recovery, found family, and BDSM, it is absolutely worth checking out!

(To give you an idea of just how much I love this series, I've styled multiple ball-jointed dolls as some of the characters from it!)

Falling Falling Stars by Pia Foxhall/not_poignant

Found on AO3 here.

Technically, this is a sequel to The Spoils of the Spoiled, which I also recommend (it adds context to a lot of FFS, too). But this one in particular has one of my favorite MCs of all time, Efnisien.

Falling Falling Stars follows Efnisien ap Wledig through a long path of trauma recovery, finding himself outside of what others wanted him to be, and learning to live with the ways he badly hurt people in his past.

If there were ever a manual on how to write a good redemption arc, this would be the absolute best example to use. It is such a thoughtful, soft, and comforting story, even though it touches on some very dark themes. To me, it's hot chocolate and marshmallows in story form.

Chronicles of City M by Lissa Kasey

Goodreads link here.

Hidden Gem follows Misaki Itou, a psi who works at a brothel in a post-apocalyptic city, and his shifter love interest, Shane McNaughton, as they try to solve a series of murders in the city. The subsequent books also follow their friends with various abilities and the relationships they form while still returning to Aki and Shane.

I first read this series during quarantine in 2020, which seems like an odd time for a post-apocalyptic story to be feel-good, I know, but this series focuses on the city and the people rebuilding after everything that happened in the past. It's a story of trauma recovery (seeing a pattern in the stories I like? haha) and hope, even when it seems like humanity itself might be wiped out.

How to Raise an Honest Rabbit by Amy Lane

Goodreads link here.

Another sequel story, this time to The Winter Courtship Rituals of Fur-Bearing Critters, but this couple was one I really enjoyed.

How to Raise an Honest Rabbit is about a former con man, Jeremy, who finds a place he might be able to stay for good in the form of working for an alpaca farm and fiber mill in a small town. There, he meets Aiden, who is determined to make Jeremy stay even when every instinct tells him to pack up and run at the first sign of trouble.

Rabbit is a much angstier story than the very fluffy Winter Courtship Rituals, but the setting still makes it a very comfy story to me, and I deeply enjoyed the characters. Once I can get around to reading again, I'm looking forward to continuing the series and seeing more from them in Blackbird Knitting in a Bunny's Lair.

That's all for now!

I thought about including fanfiction in this post, too, but it's already quite long, so I might do a separate post later. I also have a very long to read list that I can post some secondhand recs off of if anyone wants it, it'll just be less detailed recs since I haven't finished the books yet haha.

And if anyone wants manga or TV show recs I can also provide those. :D

[not-poignant]

Hey there Pia! I want to say I absolutely love your work and it's very inspiring. It's helped me feel more relaxed about just writing for myself for the sheer fun of it and exploring characters, after many years trying to write or do artwork for other people. Something I think I read somewhere was that you tend to ship a lot of your OC's together and could ship anyone (or were a multi-shipper). I may have got that wrong so I apologise if that's the case! I wondered if you had any of your own OC ships that really surprised you? Do you have any OC ships you would love to write one day that keep popping up in your brain? Are there any OCs ships you think would be interesting but probably wouldn't ever write because it doesn't necessarily work? Thanks! x x P.s. I live in the south of England and have a friend in Scotland and we were chatting casually about fics we like as we tend to gravitate towards the same tags and she said "Oh have you heard of not-poignant" and I have never heard her squee so loudly when I told her yes xD You got fans all over the place. <3

Hi anon!

I'm definitely a multi-shipper! Though I don't ship all of my characters together, it's more like... I'm open to considering a lot of different permutations but I also don't enjoy all the ships!

I also support everyone else shipping whoever they want. :D I'm very 'ship and let ship' hehe.

I wondered if you had any of your own OC ships that really surprised you?

Honestly, Augus and Gwyn was probably the very first one! I didn't ship them at the time when other people started coming to me and asking about it, in fact I was like 'ehhhh actually that makes me not very comfortable to think about.' I even avoided answering anon asks about it, and felt very much like you know the nervous 'haha I'm really glad you enjoy it but I don't think that's for me.' And that was partly because I imagined it to be such a tragic pairing at the time. And while it seems wild to talk about that now, because I am so ride or die for them, that is definitely where I started!

Other OC ships that kind of surprised me with their intensity was Mosk and Augus, because Augus really didn't rate Mosk at first, and I was so in Augus' POV for that, it was like...for a long time I never saw the potential until enough changed that Augus could also see the potential. Because of that, Smoke in Autumn was born.

Temsen and Gwyn was unexpected for me, and honestly there's a side character coming in Underline the Red and I ship Faber and Kenneth so much that I suspect Underline the Red will become an OT3 because of it!

Are there any OCs ships you think would be interesting but probably wouldn't ever write because it doesn't necessarily work?

Yeah there's lots. Honestly too many to put here. But lots and lots. For example Temsen and Gwyn from the Underline series are interesting to me, but I don't think that'd ever work or be anything other than like a short tragic abusive moment in time and I've already written a version of that with Albion and Gwyn in a oneshot.

Leo and Efnisien I think could have a very sweet romance in Falling Falling Stars, but I like them more as friends in that universe. And I always kind of daydreamed of Nate somehow going to a play party re: Kadek's and seeing Efnisien and kind of...admiring another side of him and enjoying that somehow.

Gwyn and Ash in the canon when Ash was at his most mutinous and antagonistic was interesting to me in a noncon sense, and I actually have a fic I've never released which is Ash assaulting Gwyn around...mid-way through The Court of Five Thrones. I definitely think Ash has enough dark sexuality that this seemed very 'obvious' to me while also not being at all feasible in the canon.

Faber and Efnisien is really interesting to me in the Underline universe, though I don't think it would ever work/happy, the attraction is definitely there on Efnisien's side, and he feels very kind of alpha-protective towards Faber in a very strong way. And the idea of a toppy Efnisien in that universe is just fun for me, even though I don't plan on ever writing it.

I also low-key ship Temsen with everyone. Like, Temsen just has vibes with everyone. He's always the top and I'm always like 'damn son you have taken over my brain' and he has.

The fun of multi-shipping is I can kind of go anywhere depending on the mood I'm in. The good news is I love the ships I'm writing so much already that they're usually the place I go to first anyway. :D

You got fans all over the place. <3

Ahhhh <3333

I wish I hadn't been so anxious back when I visited England and Scotland last time because it'd have been great to do some kind of like... group meet-up or something. With Covid now I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to do international travel again, but I love that folks live in so many awesome places. :D

It's funny because there's almost no readers that I know of in Western Australia, so it's like being on a very weird island where all the reading happens elsehwere. And while there's like maybe one or two exceptions to this, for the most part it's like 'oh reading my stuff is a thing that does not happen here :D ' But I love all y'all. I've met the coolest people and become interested in so many different countries and languages and foods and cultures in part because of this writing and how many different folks have turned up in my comments or in my ask box just sharing different anecdotes and stories from all over the world.

The faedom's just so amazing :D It's really global, and that makes me feel so grateful and fortunate and also makes me wish teleportation was easily possible and affordable!!

[not-poignant]

I hope this question doesn't annoy you, but why is The Ice Plague so difficult to write compared to Falling Falling Stars? I Love Falling Falling Stars a TON, but I miss The Ice Plague too, do you know when you'll start writing it again?

The question doesn’t annoy me at all! And honestly, now that some time has gone by, I feel like I can answer this a bit better anyway.

I’m not gonna lie, I can kind of phone in Falling Falling Stars, I’m not saying I don’t work hard on it when I’m writing it, but at the same time, it’s a tiny cast, it’s a small number of locations, I’m not dealing with plot points I introduced eight years ago, and it’s much easier to write because the narrative tone is so much more conversational.

By comparison, The Ice Plague has a much larger ensemble cast, the core cast alone sits at six characters, with other very well-known characters like Gulvi and Fenwrel, and new characters being introduced all the time, who need to feel like characters and not just two-dimensional stick figures.

Because it’s an epic fantasy quest/road-trip story, there’s always a fuckton of worldbuilding that needs to happen. And sometimes that’s stuff I’ve done and can refer back to, and sometimes I realise I need to describe a road or a path and do a transitional scene and I want it to feel like they’re somewhere, instead of in some nothingy placeholder space. That’s either constant referencing back to documents to get it right, or changing the documents because I’ve come up with more interesting stuff (I think), etc. It’s also writing a lot of transitional scenes in a way that I need to make sure is both grounded, and not boring; or alternatively, skipping those scenes in non-linear narratives in a way that doesn’t feel too jarring.

I think ultimately in The Ice Plague 3 alone, the characters are hitting up some 15-18 different locations, that all have different cultures, different types of architecture, different botany and animals living there, different types of fae living there, present different conflicts or resolutions, and offer different things to the cast. Because Gwyn and Augus are there too, I also need to pay attention to 8 years’ worth of Fae Tales politics.

Those two paragraphs alone are exhausting to think about, and it can be exhausting to write and do it - hopefully - well. Figuring out which fae would live together best (like Gevtivar), and what they would build their homes out of, and if they would then need magic to secure their homes, and what the history of that city is (Esgrettio), and so on. It adds up.

Since this is the final book in a 1.5 million word series, it needs to wrap up around 8 years’ worth of storylines. Like not every single one, but definitely most of them, and it needs to do that in a smooth, integrated, ongoing way, so that there’s like small storyline payoffs all the time. We get them in book 1 (finding out classless fae are a construct of Mages and learning about dragons), we get them in book 2 (finding out Davix is still alive and that the Raven Prince is still around and what really happened with all of that and also giving closure to Augus), and we’re getting them in book 3 (that Gwyn is related to Olphix, which explains his huge concentration of magical power, what Ash’s heartsong is etc.)

But I always have to keep those storylines in mind, and foreshadow for The Ice Plague overall while introducing wrap ups that happen in (hopefully) a fairly smooth and seamless way that feel natural in the story. It also means doing justice to storylines of side characters like the Raven Prince, or Davix, or Julvia and her relationship with Ondine, or Ash and his broken relationship with his own heartsong.

And then finally the prose is just more typical of epic fantasy, and is just a more challenging (and rewarding) style to write. And I think also I’ve been spooked re: this emotional crash irl and how much it’s hit me, which means I’m reluctant to start posting chapters now (I have like 6 more written), until I have more of a buffer.

*

But then there’s the fact that The Ice Plague demands all of this, and is the least popular thing I’ve written in maybe 8 years. Especially the book 3. And honestly, not gonna lie, it’s really hard to kind of find the energy to put that much love and hard work into a story that demanding for something that I feel like is just ultimately not very good or interesting or engaging compared to something like Falling Falling Stars or even The Nascent Diplomat. And it’s hard honestly thinking ‘this kind of fic is a mistake for me, and I should probably never write anything like it again’ because I love epic fantasy so much, and so I suppose it’s just dealing with the embarrassment of that too, because it’s a pretty public failing, lmao. Everyone gets to watch it in real time!

I will finish The Ice Plague, because - most of all - I really need to finish telling Mosk’s and Eran’s stories and it’s unfair to leave them hanging, and I love those characters so fucking much, and I also need to close Gwyn and Augus’ storyline too. Like, I feel like I’m doing an injustice to the characters by letting it hang, and that doesn’t feel good, and I do want to actually give them what I kind of promised them. Sometimes writing my stories feels like a contract with these character constructs - I put them through hell in exchange for a hopeful ending; I haven’t completed the contract until the story is ended, and so far that’s worked well for me re: longfic completion.

So like, tl;dr - The Ice Plague is a very challenging and technical kind of writing that requires more skillsets and is therefore just harder by default, and it’s the least popular longfic I’ve ever written across two accounts in 8-9 years, and that’s very discouraging. I know some people really love it, and honestly folks like that - and like yourself anon - get me through and keep me thinking I will finish this. And I hope I can get more of The Ice Plague to you sooner rather than later <333

[not-poignant]

Maybe it’s because I got to the faedom late (in that Game Theory was fully written) but I’m surprised so many people would hate Augus. I definitely relate to him the most out of characters we’ve seen so far. I mean not the murder and wrecking a kingdom bit, but the way he processes stress and his basic values struck a chord (and as with the other anon his emphasis on self care and the way he handles it honestly improved my own approach to it). Not that I haven’t been loving the new cast as well

Yeah, definitely people who came to the fandom later (and through Deeper into the Woods or Game Theory) form a very different opinion of Augus compared to people who came through the Shadows and Light Rise of the Guardians fanfiction series (From the Darkness We Rise / Into Shadows We Fall), where I wrote him first/earliest, and where he sexually assaulted the main character.

It’s definitely not easy encouraging a bunch of people to like a rapist, so I didn’t even try initially. It’s also one of the reasons Gwyn is so brutal initially, because I knew a lot of people were - contextually at the time - dying to see Augus get some of the treatment he’d doled out onto Jack. 

At the time, it never occurred to me anyone would ever read that story who didn’t come from the fanfiction first. I didn’t expect Game Theory to turn into anything, and it wasn’t supposed to become a series, and Augus and Gwyn were supposed to just be 4-5 chapters of hatefucking and misery, the end. A few people were like ‘I’ll never read a story with Augus in it’ and some people are still like that.

But...

Then like, time passed, and by some miracle, folks like yourself came to it later with a much cleaner impression of Augus, and it’s been really awesome. Because tbh I agree, I think Augus has a lot of good things going for him. And I don’t think of that fanfiction series as ‘Fae Tales canon’ either, which is easy for me, but harder for people who do treat it as canon.

Augus’ core values when he’s healthy are very nourishing, not just to himself, but to everyone (and the land) around him. When he had those core values corrupted, he became hurtful and monstrous, but Gwyn and many other characters in the cast have done the same and in many ways, for far less.

I always find it so interesting how people have their faves though. Whether Gwyn or Augus, Ash or Gulvi, Mosk or Eran. It makes me really happy. :)

[not-poignant]

Hey man so out of curiosity, how much cash would you need to safely secure the rest of TIP2, TIP3 and heck even that possible final GwynAugus centred book you mentioned? Like how much would you need to guarantee get you through all that ?

Hi anon!

While it’s really awesome that you’re so interested in Fae Tales, I’m super uncomfortable putting a financial ballpark on the next like, 5 years of my life (and potentially longer). Especially when I’ve talked frankly and honestly about wanting to work on other new projects, because I’d like some closure on FT and the chance to work with other worlds? I don’t know that there is enough money that could force me to do something I was really burnt out on and was suffering through, and I don’t know that the readers would want me to do that if I would enjoy writing something else more. (And if they would want me to do that then like, okay, but I’m a real human being, and this isn’t just about money*)

Not only that, but right now there is no final Gwyn/Augus centred book beyond an idea. It could take me years and years to actually resolve that in a way I want to. I have no chapter plan, no clear plot, really only a few sort of moments that I think might be interesting to write, and no resolution. I have other Fae Tales stories that are far clearer to me (that feature Eran/Mosk), and even those I’m sort of not really interested in writing atm.

* Re: the issues I’ve been having lately. While I have mentioned that there is a financial element, my biggest issue has been the drop in engagement, which was a lot more around free interaction around the stories I’m writing atm. Of course there’s a financial element in the sense that, if the downturn continues, eventually the Patreon won’t be sustainable anymore. But right now it is. Which is why I’m still writing, and continuing as I’m continuing and pretty happy. Would I like to make a minimum wage and more than about idk, $2-3.00 an hour for what I do? Sure. But is that likely? Nope. Writers do it tough.

So if I also gave you a ballpark now, I don’t know that it would include like, the fact that I would like to make minimum wage, or a living wage one day. And I don’t think I’d like to do it with only one story. Or only one world.

Ironically, Fae Tales content can’t fix the drop in engagement. Fae Tales is very hard for new readers to access (back in the day, if they opened a series page, they saw like two stories, now they see a million words, that’s not not daunting), and it doesn’t really draw much new engagement anymore. I would do much better rolling the dice with new world/s and new character/s, and I’m more excited about doing that too. Like, that’s where my heart is telling me to go next. Not to forget about FT, I can’t, and I think I’ll always write bits and pieces for it. But like, to give myself a chance to try different and new things.

The trajectory I’m looking at is one that spans across 5-10 years. In that time, it’s very likely that my cancer will continue to grow and that I’ll need further cancer treatment (more radiotherapy is guaranteed, and chemo is possible). While it’s slow-growing, it’s not so slow that I’m likely to escape the next decade without it confronting me and my quality of life again. I don’t know how that’s going to hit me re: medical costs, and I’ve never been a fan of like ‘five-ten year financial plans’ when I’m so sick that sometimes it’s all I can do to get out of bed. I can’t even tell you that I’ll be able to get out of bed most days next year. This year is one of the highest pain years I’ve ever had, and I don’t say that to be like ‘poor me’ because my life is filled with positive, awesome, excellent things, and one of those is being able to write largely what I want, for people who want to read it.

That means I can’t put a price on writing what other people want me to write over the next 5+ years, if it’s not what I want to write. Because writing where my heart takes me is actually one of the few things that kind of brings me joy. And I won’t cap that, in exchange for a fantasy number that doesn’t guarantee quality of life and includes a book that isn’t actually a book and may never get written.

It’s awesome that Fae Tales has someone who loves it so much though, like, that makes me incredibly happy.

[not-poignant]

As series go on, they always tend to get a fewer amount of readers, with the rare exceptions of like,, game of thrones and stuff. Like you said, tip requires a LOT of background reading. You’re on entirely new characters than where you started and for a lot of people looking to get into the series by seeing TIP (which is what they will see, because that’s what you’re updating) the sheer amount of work they’ll have to read through to then get to TIP will be overwhelming, especially because (1/2)

they’ll see there’s an entire change in main characters and think ‘that’s too much’, and even more so because Game Theory has a very very different tone to TIP. I’m sure these are things you already know but this is just my take on it - this decreases in interaction is (heartbreakingly) natural, and if it’s not sustainable for you then it’s not sustainable, and the fans that ARE here and have read everything will be upset, but you have to do what’s best for you. Stay strong, Pia 💕      

           It’s a lot of effort and a relatively daunting task I know, but if you really want to increase the Fae Tales readers then maybe you could promo it? Make a photo advertising either Game Theory or TIP, send it to writing accounts asking them to share it, maybe even pay promo it on Instagram etc etc. People will tend to jump on an adult dark fantasy series because there just aren’t enough of them, especially one with such amazing representation. Just some ideas (:                 

Another idea (I’m so sorry if I’m overstepping my hounds here by the way, I’d just really love to help): a lot of people that read your work really, really care about it. If you ask, they will promo for you - posting on their own various accounts about Fae Tales etc Because a good portion of your users want to see this series survive because they love FT and have invested so much into it emotionally. I know a lot of people think it’s tacky to ask fans for support, but u gotta do what u gotta do            

*

I mean yes, I literally said this myself in my post about it:

(and tbh, The Ice Plague requiring so much early reading re: GT and COFT means it’s almost completely inaccessible to new readers anyway)

So I am aware. That being said, the drop in engagement is across all of my fics, including things like The Spoils of the Spoiled which requires literally zero background reading to leap straight into, and even Eversion (it may be my highest performer right now, but engagement is still dropping). It’s also been across oneshots / smaller offerings too etc.

Like, trust me, if it was only The Ice Plague, it’d be understandable. It’s been my lowest performing serial that I’ve ever written and that’s been true from the beginning. Some people have made it clear to me that they’re not really rooting for Mosk and Eran, and they miss Gwyn and Augus, and so even though Eran and Mosk have fans, it’s like...I know where I’m at. It’s also a place I’ve been before, when I left RotG to write Augus/Gwyn in the first place. A lot of those people vanished/disappeared ages ago, when I started TIP, or even before, since it took me so long to start writing it after finishing COFT.

But it’s not only The Ice Plague. I am considering this across multiple points, believe me, and when I say engagement is dropping, I don’t just mean ‘engagement is dropping on the one thing that is actually really hard for a lot of people to read.’

Unfortunately Game Theory is too dark to promo on many sites, because most of its content is against the TOS of many sites. While I’m sure lots of people ‘get away’ with doing that anyway, I’ve never been one to knowingly flaunt TOS, and Game Theory literally starts with ‘rape as titillation’ and doesn’t get much better from there.

Re: the last part, I just don’t think you can reasonably say ‘a good portion of your users want to see this series survive.’ Imho, I don’t think that’s true. I think there is a proportion of readers who enjoy the series and do want it to survive but I don’t think it’s the majority, who probably just read it and move onto the next thing, and I think the engaged people are already doing the best that they can. Those are the people who are commenting, sending asks, already engaging etc. For the people who literally can’t muster the energy to engage more, they’re not in a position to promo. (To say nothing of the fact that promotion on Tumblr right now, given Tumblr has lost at least 30% of its userbase, is kind of a wash.)

On top of that, people who do think it’s worth reading do encourage others to read it, but as I’ve heard time and time again over the years, the story goes a lot like this: ‘I would love to rec this but unfortunately it’s just too dark for a lot of the people I know / but I’ve asked several of my friends to read it!’ which is the most generous thing, but also is realistic.

It IS too dark for a lot of people to read, and one of the luxuries of the anonymity of Tumblr (and one of the reasons I’m not on Facebook or even Twitter with this stuff) is precisely because a lot of people don’t want to associate their ‘real’ work or family identities with Fae Tales and the content I write specifically. I’m really sensitive to that, I’m the first to say that FT is hard to rec. As a result of that, very few people actually post broad-scale recommendations. It’s completely understandable. It’s not like I’m marketing a regular romance here. (Which would be easy to do, but is not what I want to write, lol).

Even with all of that in mind, it still doesn’t explain the sudden 8 month downswing. Nor, even, does me writing The Ice Plague, since I’ve been writing that for a decent amount of time, enough to see an upward swing in the first year and a decent plateau of engagement during the first Ice Plague installment.

Like, a lot of your suggestions seem to imply that it should be the readers who should work harder, or that there’s this huge invisible userbase who want FT to survive and could do more, and I just...don’t think that’s true. I generally know the people invested in FT pretty well, as usernames on Tumblr, as commenters, as people who have diligently left kudos on nearly everything I’ve written over the years. I wouldn’t say that a single one of them hasn’t done their best to love the writing and show their appreciation for it.

And then outside of that, the vast bulk of the readers, objectively, will be people who aren’t that invested, and aren’t here on Tumblr, will never see this post (or any preceding it), and just leave a like (if I’m lucky) and move on. Which is normal.

It may be that things plateau. It may be that antis have really changed the way people are reading now. It may be that things continue on this downswing for years. It may be that things look up (though I expect after being honest about it, there will be a bump in activity for about a week or two before it crashes again). I’m not making any firm decisions now, but over the past 8 months I have looked at (and brainstormed) a ton of different options and even actioned some of them. I’ve also done a lot of pros/cons lists for different writing patterns (i.e. do I go book only, do I stay hybrid, do I keep going like this for another year, do I add in art, do I write less / more etc.)

It is possible that new projects may bring some new energy, but I’m in two minds about whether that’s true. And I certainly can’t privilege writing fanfiction over original fiction anyway (because...income). I’m just going to wait and see for a while. I really appreciate the thoughts/suggestions, and I wish I could say I think that’ll be the thing that makes the difference, but I see people reccing my stuff on Twitter - and they have been over the past few months. I see it happening on Tumblr sometimes. People do try their absolute hardest because they care about the writing. This isn’t on them.

There’s something else going on, something systemic that’s external, and something about my writing, regardless of the project, and that’s just...how I see it.

[not-poignant]

(this might be a bit personal, and by all means please don't feel pressured to answer) but considering how dark some of your stuff can get, have you ever been troubled by some of the characters/their actions in your stories (and semi-related) had to take some time to cope with writing a difficult scene?

This is a tough one so I’m going to put a lot of it under a read more (sorry phone browsers).

I’ve had the occasional moment of struggling with content because of being troubled by it.

But by contrast it’s funny because, I think some of the most difficult scenes for others, are actually some of the easiest for me to write. For example, the chapter where Connor is basically kidnapped by Gabriel and given the highball, was so easy to write it was like swimming (which is the only sports-like skill I’m good at). If everything could be like that, oh my goodness, I can’t even imagine. It was an intense, emotionally fraught, joyful experience of the likes I don’t know how to explain to other people who don’t experience that.

So there’s not always any rhyme or reason to it either. I struggled with significant chunks of Strange Sights. I couldn’t finish The Drawn Bead because it just felt like we were heading towards torture porn but I also knew I couldn’t do justice to the horror of Gwyn’s memory AND it has a tragic ending and I struggle to write those for longer pieces. I tend to struggle with characters being separated from each other. So the beginning of Into Shadows We Fall, when Jack and Pitch are completely separated from each other, that was so difficult for me personally, that I actually ended up massively shortening how long they were meant to be separated for. Even though Pitch and Jack have a really thorny relationship when Pitch is returned, I still preferred that to their being absent from each other.

But I didn’t have as much of a problem with it, when it was Gwyn and Augus.

It’s not predictable, sometimes I enjoy writing the troubling content on a very visceral level. Either because I feel like I’m in my element as a writer. Or I know it’s going to be so satisfying (for me) for the character to recover from it later. Or I know that it’s going to lead to something I’ve been craving writing. I mean I wouldn’t write so much of that kind of content if I didn’t get something really tangible out of it.

There are still things that surprise me, still scenes that become more difficult as I write them, not because of ‘technical writing reasons’ but because of the thematic content. Often, for me, it highlights things I probably won’t enjoy writing again. Strange Sights for me worked as a series of oneshots, but as a long-term abusive and rape-filled relationship, it didn’t actually become comfortable for me until Augus began to be allowed to have boundaries. So I probably won’t write a couple that toxic ever again outside of novellas and PWPs. With the beginning of Into Shadows We Fall, I learned I had to be really careful with character separation, and that three chapters was about my limit (from memory, I think I stuck to this - or just about - in COFT).

But...maybe it would make people feel better if I said I really struggled with writing Gavril taunting Jack. Or Jack being whipped by Bunnymund. Or Augus torturing him in chapter 4 of ISWF. Or Gwyn being tormented by his mother. Or Mosk having flashbacks of Davix and Olphix. I find them intense, sure, but I don’t dislike doing it. Even though I often really feel for the character who is experiencing the torment. Gwyn goes through a fairly graphic description an MRI the next chapter in SOTS, and though I myself actually had an MRI phobia for a few years (it was the reason I developed claustrophobia), I found the scene itself disturbing, but deeply satisfying enough that I wouldn’t call it something where I needed to take time out to cope.

As for me being troubled by how the characters are actually behaving... This is tricky. I mean of course a lot of them are doing stupid, terrible, harmful, cruel, illegal things. I don’t condone it in reality. But thinking of these things happening in fiction is different to thinking about them happening in reality. The fact is, ‘dubcon’ in reality is just rape, and if I applied real world standards to non-real scenarios filled with tropes and the Id, yeah sure, I would be troubled, but I’d also not be writing any of this content.

As an addendum to that, for me their behaviour always makes sense to me from their perspective. Whether it’s Mosk being emotionally abusive with no concept of it. Gwyn raping Augus. Augus killing Efnisien. Pitch in TGATNW being heartless and constantly pushing Jack away with very cruel behaviour. Even Davix and Olphix. Whatever their behaviour is, if I can understand their motives behind it, I tend to struggle with it a lot less.

I don’t like to squick myself with my own writing, as a general rule. So no, I’m not looking to write things where I need to take breaks from my own writing to cope. But I think to be blunt, my life is filled with things more challenging than what I put a lot of my characters through, and my emotional ability to handle disturbing behaviour is broader than I think it would be for some other people. It doesn’t mean I lack empathy or compassion, if anything I hope that through my writing, people can see that I have great compassion for the characters that often suffer the most, through my need to build up a chosen/found family around them, and pour love onto them, even if they don’t know what to do with it.

Those that are here in the pit of ‘enjoying Pia’s writing’ are probably here because the comfort when it comes is - I hope - tangible and visceral, the loneliness when it’s comforted away reaches past the screen and means something. And holding onto that thread myself is why I enjoy the hurt part of the hurt/comfort as much as the comfort part, but also why I don’t like to write one without the other.

And finally, most of my POV characters, by the time we get to them, have been through their darkest moments in their pasts. The only way we often access their worst moments is through flashbacks, memories, dialogue or their aversions. That might feel very extreme to some, but for me, it means by the time we get to them, they’re already starting to recover something for themselves. The worst has happened.

Even if they go through something during the story, say - Connor in Eversion with Gabriel - I just think ‘it’s okay, they’re already in the story, their support is there, they’re going to be okay.’ It’s...extremely rare for me to write stories where the character goes through their worst trauma within the story. Science of Fear is an exception to that, but as most people know if they’ve read it - Nathan blacks out early on, and then once more, we only find out the details of his worst trauma in the form of nightmares, flashbacks and dialogue.

That’s partly because I feel personally that I write trauma recovery stories, and not trauma stories (it doesn’t sound like a huge difference, but to me it’s a huge difference). And then secondly because there is a buffer through the trauma itself being in the form of a memory. That...makes it a lot easier for me to cope with. I’ve spent my entire life learning how to cope with flashbacks, after all. But also, even if the character is clearly destroyed by a flashback, the fact is, they survived it. The flashback is living proof they survived it.

But anyway, I’d say me taking breaks from my own writing because of disturbing content specifically doesn’t really happen anymore and I can’t remember the last time it did. I take breaks because I’m struggling with a chapter - i.e. how to write it mechanically, or because I feel like it doesn’t have the emotional strength I want it to have yet. I am actually very comfortable with many of the themes I write, I’d have a far squickier, grosser, harder time writing pregnancy, or a story filled with only fluff, which is y’know, why...I don’t really write those things, lol. I’m too much of a hedonist to want to write content that scared me away from my own content? Like, you do you, folks, but I’m going to be over here actually enjoying what I write, disturbing matter and all.

That doesn’t mean other people can’t have a hard time with it. It’s totally okay for people to take breaks from whatever they read, for whatever reason. And since a lot of the characters I write do engage in troubling behaviour, it wouldn’t be great if people said ‘that behaviour is okay to do in real life’ because it isn’t. But if someone said ‘god I love that villain because he’s awful’ then yeah, I’m right there with pom poms, because that’s my jam too. And if someone else said ‘I can’t stand that villain because he’s awful’ then yeah, that’s awesome as well.

And if people need to take breaks while reading what I’m writing because they’re engaging in self-care, then good! I’ve needed to do the same with other people’s writing. Because the journey of the reader is different to the journey of the writer (this is for me, truest when writing porn, lmao, I’m not turning myself on when I write those scenes, but I sure as hell hope I’m turning on at least some readers --> so if I’m not walking away from the disturbing content in my own writing, that doesn’t mean I’m not hoping people won’t be disturbed when reading it).