#guys. hp is so rancid

[jitteryjive]

i got reminded about how much hp sucks reblogging the last post and reading its notes. i find it weird that people are defending it like ‘ummm well i get my merch secondhand and im trans and we can’t confirm everything jkterf said is from the heart!!!’ as if the story itself isn’t flagrantly antisemitic and racist and all kinds of horseshit. dude even as an eight or nine year old i read hp and was like ‘hmm.. why is the one notable vague-asian girl named cho chang and also what the fuck is up with the bank tellers’

[polyamoryprincess]

I truly do understand the fear people have regarding people doing “fanfiction commissions” and making money off fanfics after the Anne Rice debacle, but we don’t have to act like it’s an inherent moral failing and like you’re a Fake Fan tainting fan spaces if you want to be paid for your work the same way fan artists do.

Anne Rice is a dick head for what she did and should be treated as such, treating the fear she’s wrought as some holy thing is fucking weird.

[rosesradio]

My dark secret is that sometimes I wish part of the pjo fandom had whatever the fuck is in the water of the HP fandom. The side that loves dramione and is not scared to delve into toxic, downright radioactive stuff to tell a story and how sometimes love is the farthest thing from pure. And I wish they had a marauder-esque side — people who create entire universe about a character that was mentioned once — but about the Titan Army.

I do love and am very grateful for all the lovely art and great fanfics but i wish sometimes people were more willing to create and engage with the deepeer, more obscure possibilities canon offers

i see what you’re saying—tbh i don't fw hp at all due to the jkr of it all, plus i was obsessed for like 10 years and have been Over It for like 4 at least. i can’t help but feel a little annoyed by the maurader’s fandom because it’s like…sure, rep is hard to come by, but like…you could’ve done the whole “skittles squad gay wizards 🤪” with any one of the millions of other books on wizards, why that one?? but anyways

i also think that a fandom run that way can be a bit risky because you’re subjected to a fandom hierarchy. like if you think one thing about xyz character mentioned once, that can be contradicted by some sort of regarded Holy Text Fanfiction from the Most Popular Writer that is essentially the word of law (think…is it All The Young Dudes? i think is what it was called?). tldr is the discourse could be rancid, but it could under other circumstances as well, so it’s kinda a “pick your poison” situation

i definitely think one of the pjo fandom’s main problems is something i saw in sanders sides 🤢 for years—it’s kinda like purity culture, but it’s wholesomeness culture. aka the insistence that pjo is The Most accepting fandom, The Most diverse, The Best xyz—when it’s just not true. everyone has different ideas on how to make the fandom The Best and Most Pure, which can include harassing creators and attempting to only “allow” certain creations. (And, of course the most important: the racism is rampant. it’s a minority of the fandom from what i’ve seen, though i’ve also blocked a lot of people. it’s definitely still there)

i think what happened in the hp/marauders fandom was an attempted separation from the author (dont look at me dont talk to me 🚬). an entire rework of the content and characters (aka, i see what you’re saying about a potentially sympathetic villain, but draco’s canon “redemption” was too little too late, the guy is a one-dimensional asshole, He Would Not Fucking Say That)

what was i saying

oh yeah. i don’t think that could happen with pjo because part of its wholesomeness persona is the Uncle Rick of it all, in which the outer layers of the fandom praise him for his representation and Not being jkr. i’m willing to admit the guy has flaws, though supposedly not enough for an entire uproot separation.

but yeah that aside i definitely see what you’re saying—my hope is that fandom will change and get better. the puritans will either grow out of their restricting ideas or move on to another fandom, for the most part. perhaps it’s wishful thinking, though the only thing we can do is continue to make our works and make the fandom safer one step at a time 💌

[indigo-scarf]

hp is so ethically mean-spirited frfrfrfrfrfr

that's it that's the post

no I lied

the thing is

every so often I remember how much I hate every single "good" character in these books except harry bc he had empathy for voldemort and draco sometimes and how much I'm not emotionally compelled by any of them, which is definitely not helped by the general rancid vibe of the principles that govern the story they exist in and I just feel so angry at ever being asked to accept that this is what good people in a heartwarming story are like

and I recently watched atla for the first time and the difference is ASTOUNDING. that is what endearing characters and moving friendship is supposed to look like, and the good people are actually good and kind and people I'd want to be around, and the bad people are still largely treated with respect by the narrative, and no I'm not saying that good characters can't have flaws bc e.g. sokka is a freaking misogynist until he learns his lesson but it doesn't bother me bc it's very clear that it's a flaw

and sure fic writers can take the hp characters and separate them from their original framing and put them in narratives that aren't ethically mean-spirited and either remove their flaws or treat them as such and kudos to the writers for that but I personally can't escape the waves of bitterness I feel for the characters from time to time

maybe for some people they did feel the wholesome friendship/fighting for what's right vibe when they were younger and only later took off the rose-tinted glasses, but then they're still attached to that initial feeling so they put the glasses back on and focus on the positives in their engagement with fandom (which is totally fine and valid), but the thing is I never liked the light side lmao

and that's not bc I'm morally precocious/enlightened, it's bc as a tween/teen I was a contrarian little edgelord who only liked antagonists but it is what it is. I'll empathise with literally any bad guy's origin story, but good characters gotta work harder to prove to me they're really good and I should like them and the hp people are not convincing at all whatsoever

P.S.: I just remembered harry is the focaliser for most of the story so he's the one hardcore body shaming nearly everyone he doesn't like 🫠

[grandma-kei]

Aight I only know a fraction of these dudes but I’ll add some other ones into the mix:

Drizzt Do’Urden - PASS - He is my sad sad son and can't bring myself to do it. However...

Zaknafein Do’Urden - SMASH - I'm your mom now Drizzt. There are very few men, real or fictional, who I would let top. He has earned that privilege. This man is so tortured and sad AND a father, he hits so many of my boxes. Also he’s a canon fuck machine and stronk so that helps.

Malice Do’Urden - PASS - I’m passing her straight into the abyss where she belongs.

Dinin Do’Urden - SMASH - Dear god someone help this poor soggy man. He needs some head and a hot meal after everything he’s been through.

Rizzen Do’Urden - SMASH, SOFTLY - He’s canonically mediocre in every way and basically only exists to suffer and be cucked. I’m plucking him out of Exile and placing him in a nice warm bed to fuck sensitive style. Would probably nut if you gave him a headpat and a “good boy.”

Jarlaxle Baenre - SMASH - The cuntiest character in the LoD books afaik and he knows it. Would give him my bank account info if he asked me, he makes me so unwise.

Gromph Baenre - SMASH, HARD - So I haven’t read a whole lot of the books he’s in yet but from what I have read he’s a hypocritical bastard genius wizard who also makes stupid and horrifying decisions. A strap couldn’t fix him but maybe it’ll make him mellow out a little.

Minthara Baenre - SMASH(ED) - Except it’s more likely she’ll be the one smashing me (into paste) if she can get around my whole “can’t even be mean to most NPCs” softness.

Araj Oblodra - PASS - Rancid vibes, leave the traumatized vampire alone. Also your blood elixirs give -1 to all rolls the day after.

True Soul Nere - SMASH - The one who started my current drow obsession and broke me out of writer’s block. This guy sucks I can’t NOT fuck him. Would alternate between spoiling this brat rotten and pegging his brains out. So upset that we can't save him and bring him to camp at least temporarily.

Dhourn Ba'tol - SMASH - Of all the insufferable wizard princesses in the game, I choose this one who barely exists. He also sucks, ergo I must fuck him. Babygirl what did you think you'd accomplish attacking the person who saved you in melee range with your 16 hp. Dude needs a leash and collar to keep from getting himself killed and I'm more than happy to oblige.

Bonus: Kar'niss: - SMASHING UNTIL THE END OF TIME

Allright, I'm doing DROW SMASH OR PASS, Legend of Drizzt and Waf of the Spider Queen characters. I've seen this back in the tags and I want to play.

Drizzt Do'Urden - PASS - idk, he's not really my type, and he's just a little bit boring. It would also feel wrong somehow, and I don't know how to explain it. I mean... I wouldn't say no if he asked, but Cattie-Brie would have to be dead and I'd probably ask if he's sure like 10x.

Jarlaxle Baenre - SITUATIONAL - Don't get me wrong, he's lovely, but his personality is too close to mine, and there isn't enough air in one room for the both of us. But get me drunk, and I'd do it for sure.

Gromph Baenre - SMASH - Slamming the smash button until it breaks. If you know me at all you know I'm in love with this pathetic wizard man. He is both brilliant and stupid, and just the right amount of sarcastic, arrogant, sad, and pathetic. I would marry him. He wouldn't get a moment of peace because I'd be trying to entice him into bed 24/7. It's like he was written specifically for me to fall in love with. When he went missing in WOTSQ, I would have turned the city to rubble and made the rivers run red with blood looking for him. I know Cattie-Brie was pissy about the suggestive fantasies he put in her head with psionics, but I would literally learn psionics just to play a game of horny thoughts tag all day.

Zaknafein Do'Urden - SITUATIONAL - a bit too self righteous for my taste, and I think I'd probably get on his nerves. But I'd never turn down that legendary dick if I had a few shots in me. He's got some anger issues I'd prefer to steer clear of.

Kimmuriel Oblodra - PASS - I just don't think he'd be into it. I would also be incredibly uncomfortable with him having that much access to my thoughts. Unless, of course, he's into the wild fantasies that my brain cooks up...and in that case... we might turn this into a smash.

Rai'gy Bondalek - PASS - Strong possibility that he'd just make me self conscious. He's certainly intriguing, but he'd hate me for sure.

Dinin Do'Urden - SMASH - Dinin, my love. I would scoop him up and take him to a cottage in the woods and make sure his belly is full and his balls are empty and have all of his babies. I would brutally torture and maim anyone who ever dared to hurt him. I would burn cities to ash and end bloodlines for him. Dinin deserves so much better. I'm desperate for more Dinin, especially after the events of Lolth’s Warrior.

Rizzen Do'Urden - SMASH - I'd keep him as a pet. What malice did to him is unforgivable.

Nalfein Do'Urden - SMASH - I don't even know why other than he's pathetic in thre way that I like.

Beniago Baenre - SMASH - He's adorable. I would insist on him in his natural drow form, however. I bet he's a good lover too. In One Eyed Jax, Jarlaxle teases him a bit because he's definitely into human women. He smart, personable, and he definitely knows how to please a woman.

Braelin Janquay - SMASH - He deserves everything. I find him irresistibly adorable. He's spent more of his life outside of Menzoberranzan than in and has a pretty strong disdain for Lolthian culture. He is smart and clever and Jarlaxle adores him. Braelin has also suffered a lot and remains so loyal to Jarlaxle. Everything about him is attractive to me. He has quickly rocketed to my 3rd favorite, with Gromph as my #1 and Dinin as a very close #2.

Valas Hune - SMASH - I feel like we might genuinely get along. He'd be good to go camping with somewhere far from everyone else. I really thrive with one on one interactions, especially someone who needs personal space too.

Ravel Xorlarrin - PASS - He's such a fucking little booger. I might have liked him more if not for what he did to his brother/sire (it's just so fucked up what Matron Zeerith Xorlarrin did to Brack'thal after Horroodissmoth died). I just can't get over him in Charon's Claw. I want to slap him until he cries.

Brack'thal Xorlarrin - SMASH - Ok, I know he's only in one book (Charon's Claw) but he checks all of the "he's pathetic and tragic in all the right ways" boxes. His whole story makes me want to swoop him up and carry him off. Charon's Claw starts off so strong with him being kicked around that I just immediately wanted to protect him. His whole story just has me in a grip. It's really a shame we only got one book of him.

Tiago Baenre - HARD PASS - Fuck no. No way. I mean maybe if it gave me the opportunity to cut his throat, then I would make that sacrifice. He's the only irredeemable fuck face I can't find anything to like about. I'd kick him in the nuts.

Dantrag Baenre - SMASH - He definitely knows how to fuck. He's big too, which would be extra fun. I also have a weakness for Baenre boys.

Berg'inyon Baenre - SMASH - He seems like he'd know what he's doing, and if he didn't, he'd learn real quick.

Pharaun Mizzrym - SMASH - Let me be clear... I would not trust him at all. But come on, you know that sex has to be amazing. He knows what he's doing, is so good that he's an arrogant shit about it, and you'll definitely have a lot of orgasms. You know your legs won't work for a week after. There's a reason he's such a pain in Gromp's ass and it's because he's a wildly competent shitass.

Ryld Argith - MAYBE - He's just so practical it hurts. He also just doesn't seem to care that much about anyone other than Pharaun.

Nimor Imphrazel - SMASH - Half drow half dragon rabble rouser? Absolutely sign me the fuck up.

Allright. I'm not sure if I've missed anyone.

Tagging @vspin, @grandma-kei, @drizztdohurtin, and anyone else who wants to play. Feel free just to do the ones you know or add to it. I know I just did dudes.

[maxellminidisc]

Today alone I've seen multiple people say shit like "Well, boohoo, I don't think liking Hairy Putter is worth getting called out for. There are trans friendly spaces in the Harold Puter fandom!" First of all, that's an oxymoron; as long as you're continuing to keep the legacy of that sack of shit alive in ANY capacity no matter how much write your "white liberal gay ooh diversity!" fix it fics, it does not make Hairy Putter anything safe. It doesnt change nor erase the inherit transmisogyny in the text and in the woman who wrote it, it does not erase the fact that that evil woman literally take tremendous glee in knowing you're all too spineless to let it go either. She is literally counting on it and you're just doing exactly what she wants. And this also neglects to take into account the added layer of vileness knowing the person in question not only was HP obsessive but like shipped the wizard racist with the regular victim of his wizard racism. Like it's ALL rancid and it ALL belongs in hell.

And secondly maybe aging up characters isn't BLATANTLY problematic but its still questionable as to why you, an ADULT, feel the need to age up child characters by adding a layer of romantic interest that is not at the maturity level of the source material nor is necessary. Yes, the source material hints that Damian has a crush on Anya but it's clearly for two purposes: comedic value (Anya is incredibly unaware of it despite being psychic and because again, she's a child; while Damian cant handle having a crush, cause again he's a child too and doesnt know how to balance his emotions and his ego as a rich kid, which makes it funny) and for moving the plot along in terms of getting a connection for Operation Stryx (the crush puts Damian in more regular proximity to Anya and thus increases the chances of Loid meeting with Damien's father as their friendship develops; this actually working remains to be seen). Not to mention, it is absolutely meant to be a very much immature portrayal of having a crush common with children, especially the way it's portrayed in that bad cliche of "he's pulling on her pigtails and is mean to her cause he has a crush" way. The fact that you can't just let it be as it is and let their relationship developed as peers and friends while the story progresses is just very telling to me.

Oh and not to mention that even if you want to discount all this shit, it's just incredibly telling as well that Tumblr has shown it has the power to shut down hateful ideology like straight up fascists and violently antiblack accounts, violent terfs who harass trans women, homophobes, etc with the severe and frankly unnecessary action it took to protect their own, but chooses to not take action when it comes to protecting it's most vulnerable users. That is what you should be taking into account here the most, but no you guys are so fixated on fandom shit that it's just flying over your heads.

[hopskipandarump]

ok i finished the first palace, heres all the really stupid shit that happened to me

the very first fight of the entire thing?

just threw me a superboss nbd (i died)

so i died, restarted, got a new set of enemies and- oh. oh no.

jk, he couldnt attack me for some reason so i just sat there and used rush

WHO WILL WIN: INSANELY STRONG BOSS or ONE SLICY BOY

so anyway i escaped the super totally hard and close fight with shido and proceeded to get thrown into my next fight

THE SAE AND KUNIKAZU TAGTEAM NOBODY SAW COMING HOLY FUCK

just casually did black mask's job for him and finished off okumura, and then levisae also couldnt attack so she met the same fate as shido of being slowly poked to death

running around the palace like normal la la la oh hey another forced ba

a

yeah so anyway el wiwi showed up after i ate tremendous shit

more boring stuff happened like level 30 enemies etc

and then

...i ran, and ran right into 3 of madarame's right eye painting

a refreshingly easy encounter after everything id been suffering with to this point, i cleaned them up, saved, and went right into my next battle and

FOR FUCKS SAKE NOT YOU AGAIN

I ACTUALLY GOT HER TO HALF HP AND THEN MY GAME JUST ENTIRELY CRASHED AND WASTED LIKE 10 MINUTES

whatever this is just part of the experience ill load it back up, turn on the randomiser, and just go do that fight again and get new enemies

omg hey bestie!!! just goro akechi hanging out with a literal penis. bit on the nose maybe but slay i guess

(he almost did slay it took 3 rez beads, 2 recarms, and abusing the FUCK out of my RPL Phys persona and he died a second before he would have used that oneshot joker move)

ok that nightmare is over im gonna save and move on to the ne

...a

there were no survivors

just a random nose floating around kamoshidas palace, dont think i wanna know wtf that place smells like, probably stale cum, old gym mats, and rancid body odour

one of shidos forms turned up and i know from experience (aka the testing i did with this randomiser earlier) that this fucker has a very very very high chance of softlocking my game, so i took the gamble and managed to run, only to then run into

she gave me 5k yen :)

more paintings, something kinda funny is that if you get multiple of the same one, at least one painting will be in a permanent loop of its death animation even though its completely alive? probably some kinda bug to do with the fact theres only ever meant to be one of each alive at the same time

randomly got kaneshiro's scripted 3-wave security battle that miraculously didnt break at all?

this guy turned up

i guess okumura doesnt pay well if all i get is 3.8k

got an encounter that was two sandalphons and i spent over 15 mins whittling their hp down, i had to keep ailmenting them so they didnt flee

at some point my personas got randomised too??

i fixed it afterwards but it was still wild seeing mercurius turn up randomly when i used heat riser

had to turn it off for a moment to get the eyes for the scythe bridge, it wouldnt work unless it was the correct enemies, and then i had something happen that i cannot do justice with using just words so im gonna link a vid and show you just how lucky i got when i hit the wrong item

next fight starts and yeah i didnt mention that ANY ENEMY can be a disaster shadow with this rando

kamoshida exploding and killing himself gone wrong gone sexual etc etc. he gave me a life stone :)

sent the calling card, went in to fight the boss aaaand

game crashes

reload

go again

get into the boss

three mots that fall over with one hit from my baal

treasure: stolen

kamoshitter: changed

homies: obtained

time to chill for 2 weeks ingame and then hope the second palace doesnt crash too much

im gna do a proper p5r rando run, im spamming tw*tter as i do it but ill make sure to update tumblr after each palace