#guys is the shape of water actually good you can be real with me

[livvyofthelake]

oh they should’ve given my man the oscar who the hell did he lose to and can we kill that guy jesus christ

[alchemistc]

Harry twirls a lock of dark curls between his fingers. Tips his chin against Tommy's head and stares up at the ceiling. He considers not asking, this time.

The sex is good, and Tommy's funny, and if he closes his eyes he could imagine there could be something - Tommy twitches and shifts his hand lower like he might be gearing up for another round, and it breaks the fantasy. That's new.

"Tell me about him," Harry says, and Tommy's eyes tip up to glare at Harry.

"Making an assumption, there," Tommy warns, but Harry just raises an eyebrow. Six years of this and Harry knows better than to expect Tommy would show up at his door for any reason other than to get his mind off of something - someone else.

"So we're both asses," Harry intones. He needs to call the super, see what they'll do about the water stain on his ceiling. "Tell me about him."

Tommy sighs. Twists, drifts away to the second pillow, and Harry's done this enough times not to mourn the loss, exactly. It's not like he's ever told Tommy -

"He's too young. Impulsive. New."

Harry fails to hold in his snort. "Okay."

Tommy at 34 had been a fucking hurricane. Newly out, no holds barred, he'd jumped right into the deep end and let the storm whirl him around. They'd been friends, for the first six months, Harry a watchful presence while Tommy made it his mission to be more than the guy in the dark corner getting a risky blowie fifteen minutes before last call. To be out - not loud, that wasn't Tommy's style - but to at least be himself.

He'd lasted two months in a real, actual relationship before he'd shown up at Harry's door with a six pack and a box of condoms.

"He looks at me and sees this - cool suave guy -" Harry shifts, nearly interrupts because that guy is exactly what Tommy projects, even if he doesn't mean to. Fucking Scorpios. "- and I was falling for him."

Yeah. Harry can extrapolate from that. Tommy fell ass over tea kettle and then got spooked.

"He's just so fucking open with himself. No brainworm goes untouched, and he can't hide his emotions for shit, and he's so goddamn stubborn and so goddamn ready to bulldoze through every hurdle ahead without looking back at the damage, and..." Tommy trails off. One hand shifts down to hitch the duvet up over his hips, and Harry adds the duvet cover to his list of laundry. "I gave him too many chances to slow down on his own."

"What, did the kid ask you to marry him or something?"

"He's the Himbo," Tommy retorts, and it takes Harry a moment to make the connection. He whistles through his teeth just to watch the scowl fall into place on Tommy's face. "And the connection freaked him out so much he asked me to move in. To his bachelor pad loft." Harry waits. "It has two balconies, Harry. Two."

"...he knows you have a mortgage, right?"

Tommy shoves at his shoulder. "It doesn't matter. We're just - the timing wasn't right."

"Did you want it to be?"

That's always the thing he ends up hung up on, in Harry's experience. Tommy's scared out of his mind to be the right person at the wrong time. Always has been. There's probably some mommy or daddy issues hidden in there somewhere he hasn't explored. Tommy's eyes drift up to the water stain. "Don't these apartments all have the same layout?"

This is the shove-off. This is his hint not to push. "Yes, and I really don't want to ask how the upstairs neighbor flooded their bedroom. Back to the guy." He's never been one for acknowledging unspoken cues.

"Buck," Tommy says, and the name sounds harsh in his mouth.

"Buck," Harry repeats, and pictures Tommy's usual type - tall, light-eyed, more smiles than common sense. There was always something distinctive, too - freckles, a scar, weird shaped ears.

"I miss him."

It doesn't hurt the way it had those first few years, when Harry was convinced that eventually Tommy would see him as more than a friend to blow off steam with. Still. There's a twinge there, beneath his rib cage.

"So stop missing him. That's an option, isn't it?"

And Tommy does that thing - that frustrating, enchanting thing, where his whole body seems to hold the emotion flickering across his face. "I walked out on him. I dug the damn knife in just to make sure he wouldn't try to convince me to stay."

"Would you have? Stayed?"

Tommy's quiet. The sweat has cooled on his skin, and the lights coming in through his window dance across the skin of his shoulder, his chest, that stupid thick neck of his.

The phone he left on the bedside table is dark, but that doesn't stop Tommy's gaze flicking to it.

"Cards on the table, Tommy?" Harry sucks in a breath. Blows it out through his nose. "Once upon a time, I convinced myself you were it for me. That I'd be satisfied with what you gave me, and I wouldn't ask for more. I cut you out of my life for eight months when I realized how fucking dumb that was."

Tommy frowns. Harry hadn't really ever expected him to notice.

"I've seen you through shitty relationships, and one sided ones. I've heard all the bullshit you and Greg put each other through. I've been there for every fucking heartache."

And he'd offered up his body like it was absolution for always being fucking thrilled when a relationship ended.

"You called me Evan," Harry murmurs, and Tommy's eyes go wide. That's never fucking happened before. This thing wouldn't have lasted nearly as long if he'd ever heard another man's name in his bed before. "You should shower. Go home. Take a day or two, if you need it. But I know for a fact you wait this shit out, justify coming to me with time and space from whatever guy has you strung out. I know it's been a minute already, and I know you've never sounded so unsure about cutting someone loose."

Tommy's gaze flicks to him.

"Whatever it is that's got you so scared of this guy, figure it the fuck out. Because it sounds to me like you fell fast and hard and hit a fucking wall before you ever thought to tap the brakes. That's not fair to you or him. Call him. Text him. Show up at his door with a bouquet or an industrial size bottle of lube and figure your shit out. Together."

Tommy stares at him for a long, long time in silence.

"Them's the brakes, huh?"

Harry hates that he knows exactly what Tommy means. Still, he clarifies. "This is your forever guy." Six years of watching him flail and learn and grow and hurt and love and fuck. He knows a thing or two about Tommy and his flights of romance. Knows this lonely man has never sounded quite so lonely before. "You don't need me, anymore."

He's quiet as his eyes drift back up to the stain. "I'm not his forever guy." Harry can't actually refute that, considering he's never met the guy. But he knows Tommy. Knows exactly how captivating he can be. Knows Tommy's a sucker for that starry-eyed look that so often has meant not love, as Tommy reads it, but idolization. "What if I'm not his forever guy?"

Harry digs toes into the spot in the duvet where Tommy's knees should be. He shifts Tommy about half a millimeter. "He has a nickname you don't call him except when you're punishing yourself. He dated Abby and that shared history didn't scare him off. You'd never let yourself fall for a guy that wasn't throwing clear signs that it was serious. I'd put my odds on him doing something weird and wholesome every time he thinks about you until his entire two balcony loft is filled with trinkets or treats and he still can't get you off his mind."

Harry's never seen Tommy's face do that before. Not in the throes of a honeymoon phase and not in the worst of a bad breakup. It's some awful mixture between unbridled hope and abject despair.

Harry thinks it's probably fair to hate him a little, for that face. He's earned the right.

"If he kicks you to the curb, I'll take you to one of those expensive wine tastings you pretend to hate, and I'll let you drink all my samples too." It's not an idle promise. Tommy may pretend to hate it but Harry fucking loves wine tastings. "If he doesn't..." Harry shoots him a fond look, "...knowing your type I'm not invited to the wedding anyway, so I guess then I'd been seeing you around."

Something shadows his gaze for a moment, but he's quick to hide it, to smack Harry on the chest like they've just had a good game, to shift out of bed and into his briefs before Harry can blink. He doesn't love Tommy. Not the way he'd have liked to, years and years ago. Still, when Tommy shoots him the dorkiest finger guns known to man and scoops up the rest of his clothes to take to the bathroom with him, Harry still wonders what it's like to have him enough to love him fully.

---

The name catches him off guard every time he hears it. 'Evan' isn't hard to filter - Evan had been a popular enough name to immediately write it off but Buck wasn't white noise of a name

Buck was a character in a movie, an old grizzled war vet, a dog. The name Buck wasn't popular enough not to hear it every time it was so much as whispered in his direction.

The coffee shop isn't crowded, but it's not dead either. When the girl at the counter calls out an order for Buck, sliding three cups down the counter, Harry can't help but look up.

A tall broad shouldered hulk of a man smiles a dimpled smile at the barista, and Harry watches him palm two cups and grab the third one in one practiced move. He's cute, Harry thinks. Maybe his grandpa ordered, Harry thinks, a little harder, and then caves, following his path through the three-tops littering the lobby.

Harry catches sight of him without being noticed. He's grinning, one of those rare earnest ones that make his ears rise and his face crinkle like a Shar Pei, hand spread out over something lying open on the table. The little girl on the seat to his right is a surprise, but Harry hasn't spoken to Tommy in two years. Maybe he's had enough time to get his mind around the idea that he's nothing like his father. The girl responds to something Tommy says by palming at as much of his face as she can reach and turning to the man now approaching their table.

"Uncle Buck!" he catches, another firm tug at the part of his brain that's been stuck on this for too long. The man barely gets all three drinks on the table before the girl is launching herself up into his arms, and it's too late for Harry to turn away without notice. Tommy's gaze shifts across the room and lands right on him.

He looks like he might wave Harry over, and Harry would rather die than know whether Tommy would introduce him as an old friend, or by name like Buck should know it. He tips a smile Tommy's way. Raises a brow at the man - Buck - and gets lips being sucked behind teeth in response, and then a slow, subtle head tilt.

Good. Good for him. Harry's never wanted anything for Tommy but to see him incandescently happy.

Witnessing it from a distance is better.

Buck twirls his - niece? - flops her back down on the bench seat next to Tommy and bends to say something that includes a pinky promise. He's got a wine-dark stain just above his brow, and Harry can't quite hide the tip of his smile.

Harry's name rings in his ears as he picks up his drink, and he's halfway to the door, feeling proud of himself for not turning back, when he hears the chorus of three laughs erupting from the corner where he'd taken his last good look.

He'd seen the ring on insta, a week and a half ago. Just an uncaptioned picture of two bands balanced one over the other on a rock, a killer sunset sky blurry behind them. No tags. 102 likes and counting.

Harry pushes through the doors and only glances through the window to watch Tommy tip his head back in laughter for a second, before he's cleared the coffee shop and rounded the corner back to his office.

[hemmingshouse]

truth, drink or dare / colby brock

summary: colby and sam convinced you and tara to join them in a new version of their usual truth or drink videos and it takes a turn when you confess the truth and get dared.

warnings: 18+, alcohol, getting drunk, mentions of sex, kissing, cursing, sexy thingssss (not proof read x)

(let me know if you want a part two or send in a request! x)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“what’s up guys, it’s sam and colby!” sam exclaimed loudly, clapping his hands together before rubbing them and sending the camera a small grin. “we’re doing the dreaded video once again,” he groaned, thinking of how the previous times were so bad the hangover lasted for a week.

colby hissed playfully, shaking his head in disbelief as to why they were still agreeing on doing this. he raised a finger, “i don’t know why we said yes, but!” he spoke up, “today we have two lovely ladies joining us today to make it a bit more bearable!”

“oh really! who’s that?” you asked them playfully as you sat up straight on the couch, smushed in between colby and tara. “i can’t fucking believe we’re doing this.”

tara shook her head, “i feel sick already, this is such a bad idea.”

sam reached over to gently pat both of you and tara on the head, “we took you out for lunch! it’s the least you can do for your best friends after that.”

colby laughed, leaning back onto the couch as he stretched an arm across the head rest. he gently scratched your head to get your attention, sending you a reassuring smile. you weren’t sure what it meant, but the gesture was sweet and it made you smile back at him either way.

“since we’ve done truth or drink quite a few times,” colby explained, “sam and i decided it would be fun to switch things up and add another option to it; dare. this means that you can choose between truth or dare, and if you don’t wanna do either of ‘em, you take a shot.”

“of water,” you added quickly, pointing towards the camera, “we’re not daydrinking and you shouldn’t either!”

your three friends laughed and colby leaned backwards to reach for the bottle of tequila he hid behind the couch, as well as four shot glasses. “i got you girls your own new heart shaped shot glasses to make things a bit more.. cute.”

your mouth fell agape as well as tara’s as colby handed you both a shot glass, “oh this is adorable,” you chuckled, “i hope it fits less than your normal ones.”

sam snorted as he let out a laugh, “we tried them out before, fits the same amount. sorry sweetcheeks, but you’re fucked.”

sam had pulled up their shared instagram, quickly scrolling through the multiple questions and dares before closing his eyes and letting his thumb stop on one of them. “alright so the plan is, we’re gonna roll a dice. if the dice lands on an uneven number, everyone answers the truth. if it lands on an even one we all agree on one person to do the dare - just a quick heads up!”

you let out a small sigh, brushing a lock of your bangs out of your face before tapping your nails against the empty shot glass - waiting for sam to stop giggling at the first question. you knew these type of videos were the rowdiest ones and loved to watch them be honest or get shitfaced - but that was until now, when you were actually a part of the video and had to spill your guts as well.

colby noticed how you shifted in your spot right next to him, your bare knee brushing his jeans covered one.

you had been in a few of their investigation videos and challenges so the fans were fully aware of the way the boys had you in their lives as a real good friend. since colby had always been good with girls and flirted with nearly every single of them it wasn’t new to the viewers when he sometimes placed a hand on your thigh or wrapped an arm around your shoulders - hell he even made sexual and dirty minded jokes with you involved.

that became normal for the two of you way too quickly but you weren’t sure if he was just jokingly flirting with you sometimes or if there was a hint of truth behind his words and actions.

“okay!” sam yelled loudly, shaking you out of your trance from where you were fiddling with the thin silver ring on your middle finger, “let’s just take a shot to start off the game,” he said as he poured all of your glasses, joining them together in a toast before all of you slammed the tequila backwards. “ugh,” you exclaimed with a face, “okay, t, you start since you’re the youngest.”

your best friend leaned forward slightly to roll the dice onto the table, “lord have mercy on me,” the short dark haired girl joked, letting go of the small dice. “it landed on 5! wait, that means everyone tells the truth, right?”

colby nodded as he rubbed his chin, letting his ankle rest on his knee as he crossed them. because you were so cramped up on the small couch, you took advantage of the fact that you now had a bit more space to rest your arms elsewhere instead of having them cramped in between colby and tara, and folded your hands together to rest onto colby’s knee.

“picture your crush or someone you’d like to hook up with,” sam started after he cleared his throat, “what’s your favourite body part of theirs?”

“i actually don’t have anyone i’m crushing on,” sam spoke up, “buuut, i’ve always been a sucker for when a girl has like a nice body shape and isn’t afraid to show it off.”

“shit bro,” colby nodded, “that’s a good one, i’m gonna have to agree with you on that one.”

you knitted your eyebrows together and shot a look at tara, immediately sitting up. “no fucking way!” you exclaimed whilst turning your body slightly to look at him, “you’re not getting away with agreeing with sam! choose your own answer or take a shot.”

“you wouldn’t have agreed with it if y/n or me were going for the same answer either,” tara backed you up, wrapping her arms around your shoulders to pull you in for a side hug. “shot or answer, colbs.”

colby groaned, hating how you two were far too sober because he knew that with a few shots in, neither of you would’ve been onto any rules anymore. “alright! okay,” he shot his hands up in defeat. “i’ll answer then. uhm- i think.. imma have to say neck. and collarbones.”

“really?” sam asked him, his eyes quickly darting to you without you noticing as you were looking at colby. sam noticed how you were wearing a black strapless top after you took off your hoodie before you started the game. he grinned at colby, catching onto what his best friend meant but leaving the two girls in the dark for that matter. “good choice.”

tara nodded her head, “that is a really good choice actually,” she agreed, “god, i’m gonna have to say arms. i’m a sucker for men that have nice arms.”

“every man in the us is now running towards the gym for you, t,” colby joked, flicking her cheek from where his arm was still spread across the head rest of the couch.

“what can i say,” tara shrugged her shoulders playfully, “guess i have that effect.”

all of you laughed at her joke, a sudden flash of anxiety smacking you in the face when you realised you hadn’t answered just yet. you weren’t scared to answer, but knowing that millions of people were gonna know about some of your deepest secrets made you feel a bit uneasy.

“i’m gonna have to say hands,” you spoke up before anyone was able to ask you what your answer to sam’s question was. “i just- i don’t know,” you chuckled, “it’s specifically when they know they have nice hands and wear rings-”

you mentally silenced yourself because you felt like you already overshared for the first question. thankfully tara was quick to agree with you, and you got a small laugh from sam and a huge smirk from colby. oh you definitely overshared.

“okay y/n, your turn,” colby handed you the dice, patiently waiting for you to roll it. it was a 3, which meant all of you had to speak your truths once again. “aye!”

all of your eyes went to sam, since all of you were waiting for him to pick out another question. “i have one,” he announced, “how many shots would it take for you to hook up with the person on your right?”

“sam! did you pick this one because you have a thing for me and finally feel confident enough to let me know?” tara joked, making a kissy face at him.

“absolutely,” he joked back, “in all seriousness though, i think four? you’re fucking terrifying sometimes.”

it caused you to let out a loud laugh, “sam, sweetie, she’s a leprechaun- there’s nothing to be afraid of besides her sarcastic ass remarks and her uppercuts.”

tara sent you a smile before patting sam on the back, “i love you sammy boy, but you’re like my brother anyways so let’s not even think about that,” tara chuckled, swinging her head around to meet your humoured face, “i’d do y/n in a heartbeat, no shots needed.”

the boys hollered loudly as you girls chuckled at their reactions, why was girls loving their friends such a big thing for guys? “oh i love you,” you exclaimed, quickly pecking tara’s puckered lips before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in a hug. “that is likewise! there ain’t no man that’ll ever be enough for us.”

“got humbled real quick,” colby joked as he shook his head, “so zero shots for you to hook up with tara, how many more do you have to take so i stand a chance?”

you tapped your finger against your chin as you pretended to think, “hm,” you hummed, “gosh, maybe- i don’t know? one, maybe two? just for like- liquid courage. colby’s way too experienced.”

“so you’d make out with him now if that was a dare?” sam asked you, eyebrows raised and an amused look spread across his lips. you obviously had the shot at the start of the game and completely forgot about it. looking at sam’s face said enough. he knew exactly what he was doing.

you slightly narrowed your eyes at your blond friend, “are you turning a truth into a dare now?”

“do you want me to?” he fired back, sitting up straight while he waited for you to answer.

you thought about turning it down, but that would mean you had to take a shot. and even if you did that, the answer to what you wanted was already out the roof when you said it would only take a single shot for you to hook up with colby. or well, in this case it was just a silly little kiss.

not answering sam, you turned your gaze towards colby. he had been waiting for you to answer sam with a knot in his stomach and a slight blush covering his cheeks. when you answered sam’s question he was curious to see what you had to say and he was pleasantly surprised.

“oh fuck it,” you mumbled before you grasped colby’s chin in one hand and leaned more towards him to gently place your lips on his. colby was quick to respond by placing his hand on the back of your head to get you even closer as you two deepened the kiss.

it obviously didn’t last long because you were fully aware of the camera’s rolling and two of your best friends being in the same room hollering at you, but when you pulled back colby was quick to pull you in for another peck.

“i was actually just tryna see how far i could go with teasing you,” sam told you with wide eyes, although very amused, “i did not expect that.”

colby hadn’t expected it either. he was looking at you debating it and thought you’d turn it down and take a shot instead, knowing that you didn’t want to stir any drama - but he was glad you did. at this right exactly moment he couldn’t give a shit about anyone apart from you anyways.

after a while, you figured that the viewers went mental. they had literally asked and dared you everything they wanted to, no holding back on their part. some questions weren’t even finished reading before sam grabbed the bottle of tequila and poured all four of you a shot - knowing that neither of you were going to answer.

you must’ve been five shots deep when you sat further back into the couch because tara went to sit om the floor instead, giving you more space to sit onto the couch, so you naturally leaned back and wasn’t surprised to feel the side of colby’s chest against your back.

“so that’s why the couch was so cramped,” you playfully narrowed your eyes at him, “your ego is taking up all the space.”

he let out a loud laugh as you got comfy against his chest, leaning your head against his shoulder while you closed your eyes. “how many more are we doing?” you asked sam, who was now trying to pick a few dares and questions you could at least complete or answer.

colby’s knuckles softly brushed against your shoulder as he felt you calm down, knowing that alcohol made you a bit sleepy. “hey pretty girl,” he mumbled, causing you to look up at him with a sheepish smile. “don’t fall asleep, hm?”

you shook your head slowly, “i’m trying but you’re just so comfy and soft. you smell so nice as well.”

colby found himself smiling at you oversharing your thoughts once again, “hey,” he took your chin in one hand, “thank you for that,” he chuckled softly, “but sam’s got a few more dares for us now. that okay with you, darling?”

you felt how colby’s tumb traced your bottom lip and how his stare was focused on you. this moment was much more intimate than the moment you shared before you quickly kissed him earlier that night, and you weren’t sure why.

maybe it was because the pressure of having a first kiss was off, or because you just felt extremely attracted to your best friend and wanted to kiss the shit out of him once again.

sam had an amused grin on his facs as he looked around the room, noticing you and colby all mushed up together. “okay love birds,” he announced, “and leprechaun,” he patted tara on the head with a chuckle, “i have a dare for y’all. one person has to lick whipped cream off someone elses body, body part of their choice.”

“do we have any volunteers?” tara spoke up, sending sam a glare and look to let him keep his mouth shut. “i mean, i’d do it to you y/n, but i don’t really like whipped cream.”

“neither do i!” sam chirped up, hands shooting up in defeat, nearly causing him to drop his phone. “you make your choice while i grab the goods.”

your friends were so see through when it came to trying to couple you up with colby. backing out of dares so you two had to do them, refusing to answer questions by taking a shot after you and colby did speak up about the truth. it was entertaining to say the least, and neither you or colby actually minded.

“alright pretty boy,” you patted his thigh before sitting up straight, “i kissed you, so it’s only fair you treat me back.”

a grin spread across colby’s face as he nodded his head, “alright, if that’s how you wanna play it.”

he took the can of whipped cream from sam’s grasp as he got up from the couch, motioning you to stand up with him. you weren’t sure why, but you obliged either way.

colby brushed your hair behind your shoulders with one hand as the other shook the can of sticky sweetness. you let out a chuckle as he flipped the cap off, “alright,” he mumbled, starting his line of whipped cream on your left collarbone before dragging the can towards your right one. “that’s a lot actually.”

“can’t put it back in the can anymore,” you laughed softly, noticing how colby’s eyes were trained on your neck. and collarbones.. holy shit.

your eyes widened slightly when you finally put two and two together, understanding that when you all were telling each other about favourite body parts, colby was not talking about collarbones and necks in general - he was talking about yours.

funnily enough, you had been talking about hands with him in the back of your mind.

his hands were steady on your waist, slightly pulling you forward to get easier access to your collarbones. he started off on the left, his tongue slowly dragging across your upper chest. you found it so hard to not let your head fall back and let a moan slip from your lips as you felt his tongue glide against your soft skin.

“oh this is hot,” tara exclaimed, clapping her hands together while watching colby trace down the whipped cream.

his thumbs softly pressed into your waist when he looked back up to meet your gaze. you chuckled, reaching up to get some of the stickiness off his chin. “you didn’t catch it all.”

he shrugged nonchalantly, “we have an entire can left pretty girl,” he teased, “who said i was done already?”

[kidasthings]

Noa and Mae: A Taboo Affair?

Hi, there! Kida checking in again with yet another controversy - you've been warned.

I see a lot of people on Tumblr and Reddit pointing out that a Noa/Mae (#NoMae?) pairing would be at best controversial, at worst beastiality.

I mean, he IS a CGI ape, right?

Not so fast.

I'd like to break down a few points, if I Mae (pun intended!), and address this argument. I'll be using a few of the comments I've seen on the web already to do so, on the part of the dissenters to the pairing.

1st Argument: "Planet of the Apes wouldn't show a kiss between a human and an ape. Ew."

Reply: Oh, they already have, my friend. Not in the full-blown sense, but they definitely did film Zira and Taylor kissing lips to muzzle in 1968. You can view that lovely bit here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEp7yunwVF8

I apologize in advance for impinging on your delicate simian sensibilities. #sorrynotsorry

2nd Argument: "Why would they even depict a human/ape couple? Humans and apes can't even reproduce in the franchise."

Reply: They can't? News to me. There was a Hum-Ape written into the early scripts and screen tests for Beneath the Planet of the Apes in 1970. Seems the Planet of the Apes franchise truly thought it was worth exploring back then. You can read all about that little guy right here: https://planetoftheapes.fandom.com/wiki/Hum-Ape

Aww, just look at that adorable lack of face-fur!

3rd Argument: "The audience of today isn't ready for that kind of thing."

Reply: And the audience in the 1960's/early 1970's was? I didn't know we became even more conservative 50+ years later. I'll be sure to adjust my high neckline and clutch my pearls in absolute horror at the thought of all of those deviant libertines living before me. Excuse me, I must go confront my parents about this.

BUT, before I do, I do want to point out we seemed to accept an on-screen kiss between Goliath (a gargoyle) and Elisa (a human) during a certain Disney children's cartoon show in the 1990's - anyone remember that?

Disgusting. I bet his breath smelled like rancid pigeon.

Additionally, we have more recent films such as Avatar, The Shape of Water - which won 4 Academy Awards, including best picture (not bad for a human and a fish-man pairing), and Beauty and the Beast.

And hey, if a living monster is not your thing, you could always opt for Warm Bodies. Think female human and male zombie. Necrophilia, anyone?

4th Argument: "Okay, fine, I see your point on the Taylor/Zira thing. But that only worked out because it was a human in a monkey suit, and we all sort of knew that. It didn't make it so strange. As for the other films you listed, well, those creatures don't actually exist so it's out of the realm of true possibility anyway. Noa is depicted as a real chimp, and him getting with Mae just makes it hit too close to home for comfort."

Reply: #Ishetho? Let's take a good look at what a "real chimp" looks like:

He's so damn Chimpy.

Okay, now let's look at our leading man--er, ape:

Looks like Chimpy had a love-child with Owen Teague. #shudder

As you can see, the two are pretty different. Chimpy has a true muzzle and a mouth that curves around it. Noa has a flatter, human face with an actual nose bridge and wider-spaced eyes.

And the EYES. My god. If you don't see the humanity in those baby-blues you might want to get checked for psychopathy. Besides that, Chimpy lacks eye-whites and has rounder eyes than Noa. Additionally, that pronounced brow ridge on Chimpy has thunder clouds gathering beneath it. Don't get me started on the ear comparison between the two, I'm sure it goes without saying!

Anyway, I think it can be safely stated that no chimp alive on this earth looks like Noa. He's too physically humanized to resemble an actual chimpanzee of the typical zoo variety. Thus, I would place him safely in the category of fish-man, the tall, blue cat creatures from Avatar, and those barbaric blue aliens that keep cropping up on certain ice planets in books #ifyouknowwhatImean.

---------------------

All that said, everyone can ship what they want. If you want Noa playing house with Caesar, never mind that trifling little timeline issue, you go with your fine self and write that fanfiction. Create an account on DeviantArt.com and fill it with their anthropomorphic babies who eventually grow up to be the first ape astronauts. Someone out there is going to love it and eat it up, I promise you.

For the points above, this is about Noa and Mae. They've got something, something tangible. Whether or not it becomes canon is yet to be seen.

For now, it lives on in our minds. With our inner eye, we can see it just fine.

[rememberwren]

Alright round two!! Kyle playing darts and doing absolute ass, to humor the pretty little bird. And asking if he makes the next one he would buy you a drink, next thing you know he's planted the next three darts bang on. "Guess we got some drinks to grab, ey dove?"

(Not quite what you asked for, but once the concept was in my brain, I was stuck on it. Sorry!)

-

“Can I tell you something?” Kyle says, leaning both elbows on the table. Your drinks sit between you, sweating from being ignored while the two of you were lost in conversation.

You lean in to match him. “A secret, I hope.”

“A terrible one,” he says with a sly grin, adjusting the ball cap on his head. He bites at his lip, a gesture you weren’t sure people even made in real life. It only emphasizes how soft his mouth looks, so kissable. The nearly hour-long game of darts the two of you had played before you finally won would be worth it if you managed to get that kiss before the end of the night. “I threw that game of darts. I just really wanted to buy you a drink.”

Your mouth twitches. You fiddle with the rim of your glass, fingertips drawing shapes in condensation as you carefully ask, “You want to know my secret?”

His face drops. “No. No actually, I think I can see where—“

“I was trying to throw that darts game so you wouldn’t get angry and kill me.”

“I—“ he blinks. “Are you serious right now?”

“Some guys don’t like losing to a woman,” you say defensively. You flick water at him off your fingertips. “No wonder the game took so long. I thought you were just really bad at darts.”

“I’m really good at darts,” he confides lowly. Your foreheads are a handful of inches apart. “I also don’t kill women.”

“I’m really good at darts,” you whisper slyly.

“Notice you didn’t say anything about killing men.”

“Scared, Kyle?”

His chair screeches against the hardwood as he pushes back from the table, eyes already scanning for a free dartboard. “Only one way to settle this. Loser buys the next round?”

“Can you afford it?” you ask benignly.

[smuthospital]

⭐️Degrees of lewdly: Eden⭐️

Premise: You're a spooky place youtube explorer, and you get lost in a big scary forest! Eden voorhees lol. Reader is fem. Enjoy!

Art by Minagami

Re-upload because tumblr took it down last time.

Content Warning: Non-con, kidnapping, tummy bulge, blood, Eden is Jason, Voorhees

Miners DNI

You've never really gone hiking before and it's proven itself to be a lot more difficult than you originally thought it would be. You like to explore places you've never been, spooky places. more for the thrill. you started filming it and posting your videos on youtube. You usually take some friends along, but all of your friends decided to be little babies this time since the place you're exploring is extra creepy this time. It's a large forest 20 miles away from your city. You borrowed your mom's car to get here. you always tell them you're at a friend's house because they'd kill you if they ever found out you're putting yourself in possibly harmful situations. This forest is known for creepy sightings, disappearances, ghosts, and lots of other things your viewers would love to watch. You've been to abandoned hospitals, cemeteries, tunnels, all that good stuff. You don't think you'll actually see anything, but you brought a can of pepper spray just in case.

The wind howls, making the trees dance above you. The shapes that were once branches in the day have turned into long gangly fingers that desperately reach for you and the bushes now house entities with red eyes and fangs that you imagine want to tear you to pieces! "Wow, guys. This might just be the scariest one yet, haha. There's probably some sort of scp in here with me haha!" You try to keep yourself company by talking to your soon-to-be viewers when you post this, but it's really just to keep you calm.

"I'm a bit lost. The trail kinda disappeared somewhere around here, I think. there's just so much long grass and it's more of a footpath than an actual trail." you complain as you try to spot any familiar landmarks. It's almost impossible. It might be easier in the day for sure, but the night masks everything. You step over decayed logs and large roots, feeling worry set in. What if you're really lost!? Your thoughts come to an abrupt stop when you hear a strange sound not too far from where you're standing. Your blood freezes as you feel a cold sweat coming on. Maybe...maybe it's a person? And maybe they can help you?..or..a monster!? No, (Y/n), this is no time to be silly! That could be a person willing to help you before you get yourself completely lost!

Little did you know you were already a mile deep, walking in the wrong direction.

“I heard a sound. It could be someone who could help me get back on track.” You whisper. You turn off your video camera's flash light and carefully make your way to where you heard the sound, being careful not to step on anything that could alert whatever it is of your presence. You don’t want to startle it, just in case it's an animal willing to protect its territory from invaders like yourself. The sound came from below you. There's a rocky slope leading down to a river. You get down on your knees and peer between the long grass. You can't make out much in the dim moonlight... until you spot a giant of a man dragging a sack through the shallow water. His size alone sends shivers down your spine. Even from where you're crouching, you could tell he would dwarf you the way a cat would to a mouse. You examine him a bit more.The sack is stained in a dark colour that is seeping through the fabric and into the water. You don't dare move a muscle or even breathe. You can't believe your eyes. This can't be real. Are you in a horror movie?

You make sure he disappears behind the tree line with the mysterious sack before letting out a breath. You didn't want to accidentally alert him of your presence in any shape or form. He was probably just a hunter. Yeah, he could have helped you, but he also could have added you to the wet sack and you were not risking that.

You stand up and turn around, ready to get as far away from here as possible, only to bump your nose into a tree. The collision causes you to drop your camera. That's strange. You don't remember walking around a tree to look over the cliff. You rub your nose in annoyance. Wait a minute... This tree didn't have rough bark like the rest of them...Your brain blanks out. You've been in denial this entire time, your brain working extra hard to rationalize what's happening. Before you is a large torso. You can't even see their shoulders from how close you're standing, just a wide, firm chest. You crane your neck up and it takes you a good three seconds before your brain registers that you're looking at the man from before..and he's wearing a mask!

He looks down at you with a focused gaze. You let out a short scream and try to run away, but being within arm's reach of the giant makes it too easy for him to simply reach out and grab the back of your top. He lifts you off your feet with one arm and brings you to his eye level. He cocks his head to the side, observing you slowly. He looks down at the camera you dropped and places his large boot on it, pressing down and crushing it. You start to hyperventilate. He's gonna chop you up and wear your skin, he's gonna keep you in a dark hole and shout "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!" You thrash in his iron grip, pushing at his large hand and sobbing untellable pleas for mercy, but your begging falls on deaf ears. "I-I'm sorry. I-I'll leave, I promise! Please let me go! I-I didn't mean to bother you, I'm sorry!" You cry. Your little struggle seems to have made your shirt ride up a bit, showcasing your supple flesh to his thirsty eyes. His eyes laser focus on your bare skin.

To your confusion, his hand reaches to caress your skin, feeling the smooth texture before slowly moving up. You wiggle more, scared of where this is going. His hand soon finds your breast and cups it before giving it a squeeze. He shudders. His breathing becomes heavier as he continues to mess with your body, his thumb rolling over your nipple. All you can do is whimper and wiggle in his hold. his hand begins sliding down and you scream. You suddenly remember you brought a can of pepper spray, whipping it out of your back pocket and pointing it at his face. Then as you were about to press down and unleash the fire juice, it was gone. In his hand that was previously molesting you lies the remains of your poor pepper spray, crushed and bubbling pathetically. He was so fast you hadn't even realized he snatched it. You just stare at him in horror. To your surprise, he's not even mad, too preoccupied with the need to explore your privates. You hold his wrist and look into his eyes. He looks back into yours as if telling you to stop. You hesitantly let go, and he nods as if to tell you that you've made the right decision. His hand cups your pussy through your jeans, pressing in a bit at the entrance. He seems eager.

He lifts you higher and uncomfortably sets you on his shoulder, his hand on your ass to keep you in place. You don't even bother struggling. You'll wait for an opportunity. If this man wanted you dead, you'd be dead. You don't want to provoke him. From your spot on his shoulder, You notice that he's got a hunting rifle strapped to his back along with a machete. He has an assortment of things attached to his hips among them being a hunting knife and bullet pocket. You shiver. One more off-putting thing that's just about forcing bile up your throat is that he's also covered in a dark wet liquid. You haven't noticed till now, but you haven't been breathing so his smell has now come to your attention. He smells strongly of iron. To that, you're not very surprised.

He starts marching down the hill you were previously watching him from. You have no idea how you saw him disappear through the treeline and he still managed to sneak up on you. He picks up the large stained sack where he left it in favor of locating his little spying mouse. It smells awful, the meaty smell assaulting your senses every second. It's been 15 minutes and an opportunity to escape has not shown itself. This is it. This is how you die. Your body will never be found. Maybe in a few years in a shallow grave by some hiker if you're lucky. This inhuman mass of muscle is going to cut you up and eat you. Maybe even skip cutting you up. He could probably eat you whole as pre-workout. He lifts his leg to step over a large log, his grip on your ass slightly loosening just enough for you to catch him off guard and slip off his shoulder. You grunt as you fall into the dirt and leaves behind him. You scramble up before the giant can scoop you up. You run in a random direction. You just needed to get away from him, getting out of the forest was a problem for later. You didn't even think about how fast he'd be. How could someone be so big and fast!? He took off after you and suddenly, he was on your ass. You've never felt such a primal fear as he chased you like a hungry animal.

A large hand grabs your shoulder and rips you backwards. You fall on your back and stare up at the man now on his knees in front of you, his body completely casting a shadow before yours. He gets down on his hands, caging you too the ground, his body inches above yours. You stare into the holes of his mask and into his rabid eyes. He leans in by your neck. You stop breathing once again, you think your heart stopped. You feel something large and hard pressing roughly into your crotch. You hear him take a deep breath and smell you..."Smells nice." His voice is deep and rough, but it sounds like he rarely uses it. You scream and begin to cry again, not being able to take it anymore. You fight him with all your might. He grabs your wrists with one hand. You hear him chuckle a bit before his hand comes up to cup your check. He suddenly squeezes it and twists your face around to get a better look at your features. He grinds his hips against yours, teasing you of what's to come. He roughly releases your face, before standing to his full height and dragging you up with him. He tosses you back over his shoulder, this time with an almost bone-crushing grip. “Name.” His tone is commanding. When you fail to answer right away, his fingers press into the area on your crotch. Threatening to rip right through. “(Y/n)! My name is (Y/n)!” He hums in response.

Hot tears run down your cheeks as he walks back over to where he left his murder mystery sack. He navigates through the forest as he knows it like the back of his hand until he comes upon a clearing where his home stands. A lonely wooden cabin. He drops the gooey meat bag on the ground. You cringe at the wet sound it makes on impact. You peer over at the sack to see a human hand flop out. Before you could react, he slams his hand over your mouth painfully. "Shut up." He waits for you to nod before removing his hand. He opens his front door and steps inside. It smells musty, like old wood and man smell. Not bad, but not amazing either. He walks up his stairs and sets you on a very large bed. You take a deep breath in, your stomach sore from being jabbed by his shoulder for the entirety of the long walk.

He doesn't let you get comfortable though. His hands are on you in an instant, grabbing your clothes and ripping them to shreds like tissue paper, you're naked before you could even hold any of your clothes together. Hungry eyes leer over you through his mask. You feel his hot breath fan you through the bottom of his mask. "S-stop it, please! Don't hurt me!" You beg. As if to mock your plea, his rough hand grips your plush thigh a little too close to your cunt and squeezes it tightly before shoving it against your chest, making room for himself between them.

He releases you for a moment, only to unzip his uncomfortably tight pants. You shut your eyes and look away, only to feel the soul-crushing weight of his cock slam against your lower stomach. You writhe underneath him, small sobs and hiccups coming from your mouth every few seconds. He pauses for a moment but ultimately decides to continue. You peer up between your wet palms and see him rubbing the tree trunk between his thighs while looking down at your pathetic form.

"W-wait! I-I'm not rea-" He grabs your thighs and forces you closer to him and lines his cock up with your entrance, he slides it up and down your folds, causing you to shudder. He doesn't care if you're ready or not. You shut your eyes as he presses forth. You scream in pain. It won't go in. You're too tight, he's too big and you're dry. The tip can't even get through. You whimper in pain. It burns. You need moisture. He lifts his mask a bit and you get a peek of his jaw. It's noticeably sharp and covered in stubble. You feel his saliva plap against your poor dry cunt before he puts his mask back into place. He tries to enter you again. You yelp. He gets a bit through before he can't anymore. He sighs. He was trying to be gentle. He didn't want to break you so quickly...

He grips your thighs tightly. You feel his nails dig in. You barely have time to register the pain before you feel like you're being ripped in two. He's forcing his way in. You immediately let out a scream and begin spazzing. He just continues until he reaches his base, more than snug against your insides. Drool leaks past the corner of your lip as you stare off into space. He breathes heavily and stares at the bulge he created in your lower stomach. He brushes his hand over it and watches as you whimper and twitch. He pulls his hips back and watches it disappear before ramming himself in again and seeing it jab through your insides. He chuckles.

You lay there, unable to do anything but feel what he's doing to you. You lift your arm and place it on his lower stomach, hoping to stop him that way. You feel his rock-hard abs through his shirt and push. "You're...adorable...fuck.. you're tight." He groans before he slams himself deep inside and you clench around him. He hisses and struggles to pull out halfway, your insides trying to pull him back in. He slams in again and presses himself as deeply as he can, firmly hugging your cervix with his cock. Your eyes cross as he thrusts in and out, keeping a proper pace. Moans spill from your lips along with jumbled-up words he can't make out, all of which sound like music to his ears.

He leans over you, forcing himself snugly against you again, his mask right next to your cheek. He groans as he feels you twitch around him. "Feel..so good... was worried you'd rip... you're only bleeding a little." You can hear the smug grin in his tone.

It feels so good. You're so ashamed, feeling good when you're being raped by a maniac. You clench your tear-filled eyes as he pounds into your aching cunt. The knot in your lower stomach bursts as you cum. He moans as you tighten around him. He stills for a second, just enjoying how you feel before he pounds into you like a feral beast. You're surprised your pelvis is holding up. He grips your waist tight and grunts as he empties his balls deep inside you. You can almost feel yourself getting pregnant. You feel too full. Your stomach bloats with cum. You feel hot and fuzzy. Your pussy is so very sore and your legs are numb. He pants above you. "I've been thinking of getting myself a little wife like you." He says as he slowly pulls his still throbbing cock out with a wet 'pop'. "You're a pretty little thing and you take my cock well. Be grateful I'm letting you live as my cock sleeve." He stands up, towering over your crumpled body once again. "My name is Eden. Your duties from now on are cooking, cleaning, mending my clothes and taking my seed. Do not make me repeat these orders. Object and I won't hesitate to remind you of your place. I was gentle this time." His giant cock is still dripping your juices. You can't stop looking at it. Ge takes notice and climbs over you before grabbing your head and forcing you close to his groin. "I see you love cock. Lick it clean then like a good wife. go on."

You look up at him and hesitate a bit too long. You see anger flash in his eyes and you quickly envelop his tip in your mouth. He groans as you lick your mixed juices off, going as deep as you can without choking. He moans and grabs the back of your head. He stares down at you with such intensity that you can feel him burning holes into you. You suddenly feel your throat being invaded and your nose pressing into his pubic hair, nose pressing into his crotch. He moves you back and forth, face fucking you. You struggle to breathe properly through your nose. You let out muffled whimpers and cries, sending vibrations through his cock. He grunts in pleasure before you feel a load of hot thick liquid being shot into your mouth and down your throat. You're so tired. He slowly pulls his cock back and laughs at your exhausted state. Your head flops back onto the bed, your jaw and lips so incredibly sore and raw feeling. "Good girl." He says before your sight fades to black. You explored a bit too much.

[whyse7vn]

NIGHTMARE BLUNT ROTATION-

[ot7 x reader]

JIN DAY ☠️

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: jin lit one up for you at exactly 12 am 🙏🏻

namjoon: you have a problem

hobi: ok but so did everyone???

y/n: we said we were smoking at 12 pm not am…

hobi: but that’s now??

yoongi: exactly

hobi: so i’ve been high by myself this whole time

what the hell guys ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

jimin: jungkooks so gone

tae: rip 💓

jk: i cabt feel my face

but did i even have a face to begin with

tae: bro

jk: bro

jimin: watching the weed corrupt the youth in real time

this is crazy

jin: i’m seeing shapes

jimin: and the seniors

jk: are you born with the face or is the face born with you??

yoongi: one minute in and almost half of you have lost ur minds

yikes

tae: glass half full or half empty??

jk: is there even a glass

tae: omg…

y/n: happy birthday jin 💜💯‼️

jin: what the fuck????????????????

so you used the 100 emoji for what

do you think ur funny

cuz i’m telling you ur not

you’ve never been funny

not one bit

not a big bit

not a small bit

and definitely not a huge bit

y/n: ok….

jin: shapes

jimin: namjoon did you fr smoke???

y/n: HE DID

isn’t he a good boy

just like we told him to

did i have to hold his hand? maybe but he did it and i’m so proud

tae: so did i

am i a good boy

am i?

am i?

am i?

am i?

am i?

am i?

am i?

am i?

am i?

am i?

yoongi: shut up

namjoon: yeah i did

it’s not a big deal

i’ve done this before

jimin: yeah but not with US

this is going down in history 💜💜

namjoon: ur saying that like we’re all together rn

if anything i’m getting high with y/n not all of you

jimin: we are together in spirit

jk: or are we spirit in together

hobi: tomorrow x together

y/n: soobin’s birthday tomorrow

yoongi: fuck soobin

tae: am i a good boy?

jin: hexagon

hobi: i’m not even that high rn

jimin: that’s what happens when ur an addict i think

hobi: i’m not an addict

y/n: name a day you haven’t been high go

jk: 10th november 1412

hobi: ok just cuz i can’t think rn doesn’t mean ur right

jimin: gws addict

hobi: ur mad i can smoke you all out if i wanted to

jimin: yeah yeah whatever

tae: good boy am i?

yoongi: jin 31

y/n: crazy

jk: happy 21st

jin: thank you jungkook ❤️

jk: but when we say thank you who are we really thanking is it YOU or is it the you in thank you

hobi: did you do coke again be honest

jimin: where is namjoon gone

y/n: he’s on the floor staring at the ceiling rn

yoongi: is he dying?

y/n: maybe idk

hobi: just give him like 5 minutes

he’ll be fine

tae: good boy?

jk: tears of children

do you hear the children

jin: 25th birthday bash

y/n: what happened to 21st

jin: just turned 25

jimin: 250 😭😭😭😭😭😭

jk: dont cry jimin

don’t cry

do not

tae: @y/n

@everyone @all @bts @superjunior @yeontan @minions

jimin: wow this weed crazy

starting to feel hit

yoongi: weak

tae: can somebody comfort me i’m crying

jk: children are being held

some aren’t

the bigger issue is that we have no water

tae: thanks guys

namjoon: holy shit

hobi: welcome back bro

jin: i could run 427 marathons right now

yoongi: are you all fr…

hobi: be honest yoongi did you actually smoke cuz ur killing the vibe rn

yoongi: i’m not killing the vibe

hobi: u are

yoongi: not

hobi: y/n

y/n: leave me alone

hobi: y/n tell him he’s killing the vibe

yoongi: y/n tell him i’m not

namjoon: y/n kiss me

jin: y/n run

jk: what do we mean when we say run

jimin: run bts idk

jin: run over bts

namjoon: kiss bts

yoongi: kill bts

tae: crocodile bts

y/n: what

hobi: bts

tae: bello

minion langue

bello is minion for hello

am i a good boy

yoongi: you need therapy

tae: NO

jin: the government is coming for us

tae: say sike rn

i’ll cry

please say sike

oh please

jk: meow meow meow

namjoon: its like been reborn

jk: happy birth ❤️

jin: it’s my birthday

hobi: what about soobin

y/n: that’s tomorrow

jimin: who is soobin

yoongi: ugly

tae: he’s not good boy

jk: what is space

jin: big

jimin: LOL

space is so you

jin: whale

jimin: don’t talk about urself like that

ur beautiful

sorry i’m lying

ur pretty mid

namjoon: mid??

what’s mid?

yoongi: idk

jimin: jin

jin: are you calling me middle class rn

jk: fell in the middle of class once

was so sad

people laughed

but what does it mean to laugh

to fall

to conquest

hobi: conquest????

you mean conquer

tae: conker

jimin: what

y/n: what’s wrong with being middle class?

jin: nothing

i’m just not that

tae: ok like we get it you have money shut the hell up

good boy not u i’ll tell you that

namjoon: did that sentence make sense or am i just that high rn

jk: do fish have water inside their bodies

like cuz we have air inside ours

so do they have water in theirs

cuz water is their air

hobi: wait

yoongi: one conversation at a time pls

i fr can’t even comprehend this rn

hobi: the real question is when we go in the bath does water like go inside our bodies or not

jk: omg………..

does it????????!

tae: are we fish

jin: fishing

let’s do that

super tuna all the good stuff

namjoon: i like tuna

y/n: tuna is gross

jin: did you like my song about it

y/n: super tuna over the astronaut any day of the week

the astronaut a flop lowkey

jin: ok i didn’t ask for all of that

tf is ur problem it’s my birthday

tae: ok but if she said ur song flopped it flopped

jin: ok??? but at lest i wrote my song

i didn’t see ur name in ANY of the layover credits

yoongi: woah

namjoon: that’s crazy actually

tae: look here you old FUCK

y/n: hehe

tae: ur 31 years of age

31.

you have bigger problems rn

stop arguing with young people cuz ur sad ur turning into dust with every step

maybe instead of being a jealous bitch

you can go on a self healing journey and maybe you’ll finally find happiness in ur extremely long life

that or you kill your self

pick one cuz i’m sick of you

y/n: LMAO old fuck was crazy

jk: are we fish

hobi: octopus

jimin: octopussy

namjoon: ew

jin: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

jimin: too pretty 😓

jin: you just weight

wiat

wait

y/n: wait by dino

jimin: jin friends with dinos

y/n: he is?????

wait whose dinos

i’m talking about dino

jimin: me 2

y/n: lee chan

jimin: what

y/n: ?

lee chan

jimin: bangchan?

y/n: bangchan?

LEE chan

hobi: australian

naurrrr

yoongi: isn’t that the ninjas guy?

y/n: lee chan? no??

jimin: what

y/n: pls don’t tell me wait

him

jk: pls don’t tell me wait is a long name

is he american?

namjoon: so whose austialian then?

hobi: naur it’s me mate

howdy

jin: howdy?

are you a cowboy?

hobi: turn on the bbq jin mate

oh naur where my brolly gone mate

tae: ninjas

i like ninjas

lego ninjago

kai 😍

y/n: kai?

pretty girl you like peaches kai?

tae: not a girl but thank youu 🫶🏼

jin: i don’t know dino

i don’t fuck with seventeen like that the hell

their like ew

why would i talk to a bitch called dino

that’s stupid

jimin: seventeen???

who the hell talking about seventeen rn??

y/n: us

jimin: bangchan is in seventeen???

y/n: no?

jimin: ??

y/n: i’m taking about LEE CHAN

jimin: tf is lee chan?

y/n: dino

jimin: dino?

dinosaur

what

hobi: g’day mate

jk: no i can’t feel my toes rn 😞

tae: sorry for ur loss

jk: but is it a loss or a gain

have i gained the ability not to feel my toes or have i lost it

jin: the hexagon is back and bigger

jimin: ur bigger

y/n: sighs

namjoon: she smells so good

yoongi: ?

jin: can you guys sing happy birthday to me please

tae: happy birthday to you

hobi: oy wahnna sie hahppy buhthdie t' yah

jk: birthday birthday day birthday song

y/n: birthday by ten??

or by somi !!!

or happy birthday to you by nayeon

or the one by joy

yoongi: isn’t then ten one about sex?

jin: sing that one

yoongi: ew no

jin: why the fuck would i be talking to you

yoongi: ???

tf is that supposed to mean

jin: that i wouldn’t fuck you

yoongi: ok??

jin: ok

yoongi: why would i fuck YOU

jin: i’m hot

yoongi: you’re you…

jin: exactly

yoongi: no

jin: ?

what are you trying to say rn

cuz it can’t be that you think i’m ugly

yoongi: u make me want to throw up

jk: when ten said got no self control cuz i want it all so ima make you feel like tonight’s ur birthday

what did he really mean

tae: maybe he meant that hes got no self control cuz he wants it all so he’s gonna make you feel like tonight’s ur birthday

hobi: oy croy on moy buhthdie

he wants me to croy

fucking bugger mate

well pissed

y/n: what the fuck are you saying

tae: is ten 10 cuz if he is why is he singing about sex

jimin: ben 10

jk: he’s singing about a birthday

yoongi: birthday sex

y/n: by jeremih

hobi: crikey she thinks she’s me mate

she bloody not

jin: square

namjoon: square up

y/n: come at me

namjoon: hits you

(with my lips)

(on your lips)

(gently)

y/n: wow

jimin: um

tae: i love when you rp joon

jk: what is rp

jin: real pussy

hobi: love a cheeky bit of puss mate 😝

yoongi: never say that again

ever

like i’m fr

hobi: puss

cheeky fucking puss mate

yoongi: ur so lucky i can’t drive rn

hobi: cheeky mate xxx

naur the weeds getting to ya hey?

can drive the old tin can anymore?? right shame mate rigjt shame

jin: what langue is this i’m so confused

tae: with great power comes a cold heart

y/n: that is not the quote

tae: says who

y/n: facts

tae: requesting a fact check not by nct haha !!!!!

get it lol

fact check nct

LOOOOOOOOL

heh

wait

nct.

nct….

it’s not funny anymore

i hate nct

FUCK nct

i’ll kill nct

nct count ur days

namjoon: i’m so horny rn 😭

jimin: okay!!!!!!!

jin: ??

y/n: oh

tae: good boy

yoongi: getting high with you all has actually been the worst experience ever

jk: did we get high or did the high get us

jin: the high definitely got you

tae: ok but ur the one whose seeing shapes the end of the day not jungkook

jin: i’d rather see shapes lthan lose my mind at the end of the day

y/n: you have lost ur mind tho?

jimin: so have you?

y/n: and YOU think you’re any better rn

jimin: yeah…

yoongi: you all can’t handle weed how about you shut up now

hobi: idk why ur acting like you’ve not been effected mate

i knaur for a fact mate if we were all together rn ur hands would be all over a certain someone haha lol wink mate

and mate i definitely knaur you can’t even stand up right rn daunt act like ur better i see straight through ya mate

yoongi: you know nothing

and look at you

talking in that annoying “australian” accent

ur just as high

hobi: mate i would talk like this bloody sober

and i think ya knaur that don’t ya?

it’s ourkay to admit ur a little off ur head righ nour mate its okay mate

we won’t judge

yoongi: shut up

hobi: you see

sorry forgot the mate

you see mate

i knaur you all like the back of my bloody hand ok

joon the horny high

kook the stupid bloody questions and logic high

tae the sensitive and kinda a freak high

jin is like a paranoid

yoongi touchy and all muscles seem to stop working in your body high

jimin dumb ass bitch high

y/n my sweet silly giggly high

yoongi: ur wrong

hobi: yoongi mate

it’s natural to feel exposed when you’re this type of information mate

don’t think about it too much

just breathe

yoongi: i am breathing fuck off

jimin: IM NOT DUMB HIGH WHAT THE HELL

y/n: do i giggle???

namjoon: a lot baby

been giggling this whole time

goes straight to my dick

hobi deleted a message

hobi: ok namjoon stop taking!!! go take a nap

you WILL regret this

made me stop don’t my accent and everything

sighs it’s hard being the only REAL smoker in this world

namjoon: yolo

jk: is yolo yo low

or yeow loh

tae: hugs and kisses are needed on nights like these

jimin: am i dumb high fr…

i could name all 17 us states rn

don’t play

yoongi: 17?

y/n: seventeen

jin: fbi is coming for us

hobi: how about everyone goes and takes a nap!!

that’s such a real and cool idea

wow well done hoseok

thank u hoseok ur really cool

aw thx u too!!!!!

jimin: ur the dumb one you weed addict

hobi: yess so real so true

got to sleep jimin!!!

jimin: whatever kys i’m going out

hobi: harsh

but i don’t think that’s actually a good idea you should like stay inside lol

y/n ur still and joons house right?

y/n: YEAHHH

we are laying on the floor together i do think he fell asleep tho

hobi: yeah ok i’m omw

everyone drink some water take a nap sober up

next time we will definitely be smoking together irl geez who knew you were this weak ☠️☠️☠️

will save me the stress

cant even enjoy my high anymore sighs is this what joon feels like sober

this is kinda hell idk

tae: am i a good boy?

hobi: GO TO BED

—

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies

i have things to say but i won’t say anything whyse7vn self love era im trying i really am

[localcuttlefish]

A Theoretical Lore Bible of Caesar’s Legion as a Nation

Hello good citizens of Tumblr! I’ve been on a Fallout: New Vegas kick lately, and I recently graduated college with a bachelors degree (major illustration, minor history of art and western civilization). So now that I’m certified to draw dick AND talk about Ancient Rome, I have things to yap about.

Have you ever looked at Caesar’s Legion and wondered how the more intricate aspects of their society model after the Roman Empire? Because I have! And because of those very musings, I have come up with a little dumb idiot theoretical lore Bible on how The Legion might function as a more developed nation, using my back knowledge of western civ and Roman art and culture. Nomenclature, societal structure, industries, imports and exports, the whole nine yards!

DISCLAIMERS: I have not looked through the writers’/directors’ social media accounts thoroughly enough yet to confirm if any of the information I’m bringing to the table is already solidly canonical or solidly non-canonical in the lore of Fallout: New Vegas. There is a nonzero chance I may say something that someone in charge has already said, or something that’s already been disproven or denied. If you catch something I don’t, let me know! I like worldbuilding for fun like this, and I want to keep everything as lore-cohesive as possible to challenge myself. I’ll come back to edit this every now and then if I come up with more cohesive lore pieces, or if you guys have any suggestions that would tie in the lore better. In addition, Caesar’s Legion is an inherently totalitarian nation that supports itself on some pretty sexist and bigoted social structures. There is no universe in which I support, condone, or otherwise encourage any of the ideologies of Caesar’s Legion in real life. Don’t become a tyrant dictator of a military slave nation, kids!

CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussion of slavery, sexism, physical and verbal violence, unsafe medical practices, brainwashing/psychological abuse, and death.

Without further ado, the absolute wall of text that is the theoretical lore Bible of Caesar’s Legion. Enjoyyyyy!!

CHAPTERS:

I: Citizenship

- How To Become a Citizen

- Social Castes

- Names

II: Everyday Life

- Common Social Customs

- Household Structure

- Settlement/Town Structure

- Clothing, Hair, and Accessories

- Languages

III: Industry

- Jobs

- Imports and Exports

IV: Politics, Education, and Religion

- What Senate?

- In The Unlikely Event of a Transfer of Power

- Common Political Beliefs

- Male vs Female Education Standards

Walk and talk with me about the ways The Legion mirrors, juxtaposes, and takes inspiration from Ancient Roman society in a post-apocalyptic setting.

The first time I encountered Caesar’s Legion in game, my initial thought was “What about the American West makes these people think this is the perfect spot to reinvent Italy?” it’s a barren, land-locked desert with only one or two significant water access points. Italy is a peninsula in a temperate climate with high mountain ranges and verdant forests. Most of this was a jokey thought, but then it struck me that a phalanx would actually be an insanely powerful force in a flat landscape. It all started coming together from there in a most dreadful shape

I: Citizenship

- How to Become a Citizen

Caesar’s Legion is a colonialist nation. They gain land through conquest, typically, and have a tendency to try and homogenize the culture to their liking. Generally speaking, after a town has been conquered, people who willingly surrender or submit to The Legion are given an opportunity for citizenship. Any survivors of conquest that aren’t willing to surrender are either executed or sold into slavery. Slaves are not considered citizens, because the rights and freedoms of a slave do not reflect the rights and freedoms that The Legion offers to those who can be put to better use or are complacent with the mission of The Legion.

Once one is offered a chance for citizenship, the highest ranking general in whatever battalion just took over that person’s land will evaluate if the person can be put to work, put on the battlefield, or is generally useless. Remember, an offer isn’t a guarantee. There is a chance someone who is offered citizenship may be evaluated as useless and sold into slavery regardless of their complacency. Protesting the verdict typically increases the chance of spontaneously being executed, or, if one doesn’t like their proposed role of worker or soldier, being demoted from potential citizen to slave.

If the general regards one as fit to work or fit for the battlefield, these “half-citizens” (media populi for plural, and media persona for singular) will be assigned a new legal name after a record of all new media populi is sent from the general to the regional Vilicus (overseer ;) we’ll elaborate more on this in chapter II), and given the task of minimum 400 hours of what we would understand as “community service” before the Vilicus confirms their citizenship. This “community service” is called pentimento, or repentance. It’s a form of brainwashing in which The Legion is in a position to repeatedly reaffirm that the media persona has more value here helping The Legion than they ever did as a free settler in New Vegas before, and instills dynamics that empower and encourage violence against people of “lower status” (slaves and women, usually). Kinda like a Stanford Prison Experiment that’s purposely designed to cause power dynamics instead of accidentally stumbling to the conclusion. Pentimento may include anything from helping re-pave and clear trade routes in Legion territory, to catching runaway slaves. Each media persona is given a number of tasks to complete per month, and each failed task results in more hours being added onto the total pentimento before citizenship is granted. The number of initial hours of pentimento a media persona needs to do may vary depending on the whims of the Vilicus, how much they resisted Legion control in the past, how many tasks of pentimento they leave incomplete per month, and whether they are masculine or feminine presenting, but is never less than 400 to start. Most media populi end up with starting numbers in the 600s or 700s.

Once the pentimento hours are complete and approved by the Vilicus, the media persona becomes a citizen and is expected to continue the service to the growing empire through either the trade they work in, or through service in the army. However, there is a several-month-long window of time in which spies occasionally visit the new citizens’ homes to monitor them for suspicious activity. In this window of time, spies may be looking for signs that indicate the new citizen is an agent from a rival faction sent to infiltrate The Legion. Only high-ranking officials know about this window. One can lose their citizenship and be returned back to status of media persona if they show suspicious behavior during this time, or worse, be demoted from citizen to slave. In cases where there is undeniable evidence that a new citizen is an agent for a rival faction, the citizen is immediately put to death, and their citizenship is revoked (though revoking the citizenship of someone being put to death is a little redundant).

A baby born into a family of two Legion citizens is automatically also a citizen, and must be given a name in line with Legion naming conventions (which will be discussed next segment). A baby born into a family in which the mother is not a citizen and the father is a citizen will also be considered a citizen. A baby born into a family in which the mother is a citizen and the father is not a citizen will not be considered a citizen at birth. A baby born to a family of two media populi or two slaves will not be considered a citizen at birth.

A person who willingly enters Legion territory and requests citizenship will follow the same steps as how a person from a conquered land would be evaluated for citizenship.

- Social Castes

Social Castes in Caesar’s Legion are determined by how useful one is to the empire, and whether one is male or female. The more sexist aspects of the caste system stem from the fact that women in The Legion can’t serve in the military, and the military is a notably higher status than most other castes since Caesar’s Legion is a military state.

Of course, Caesar is the highest on the social pyramid, followed by his chosen officials (take Lanius for example), then chosen guards (praetorian guard). The military comes next, with the social hierarchy of the military following that which was established in the Roman Empire in the early establishment of Caligula’s reign. After that, religious officials (which act as pseudo-indoctrinators into The Legion, and therefore are pretty essential to brainwashing the next generation of Legionnaires). Then, the Vilici, the overseers of each region/settlement. Next, the average male citizen and then, the average female citizen. Media populi come next, and following that social caste is performers (which serve very little purpose in the eyes of Caesar and the goal of conquest), with male performers having marginally more respect among the populous than female performers. Second to last is slaves, once again with males being just a little more respected than females, but what does that matter when both are going to be abused by the upper castes anyways. At the very bottom of the social ladder is outsiders and criminals, which need to be broken before earning even a sliver of humanity in the eyes of The Legion.

Caesar > Chosen Officials > Chosen Guard > Military (with sub-hierarchy of Ancient Roman military) > Religious Officials > Vilici > Average Citizen > Media Populi > Performers > Slaves > Outsiders and Criminals

- Names

The average citizen in Legion territory wouldn’t need to immediately use their new assigned name (since there’s not enough force immediately available to actually push that, the nation is still growing), but The Legion will give them a “legal” name that they’ll be addressed by formally, and in the best case scenario, the original name will be effectively waned out because it simply doesn’t matter in comparison to the new one.

A praenomen acts effectively as a first name one uses around close friends and family, while a nomen (while acting as a last name) becomes what one is more commonly known by in public. The average citizen will usually have a nomen at least, and a male citizen will have a praenomen and nomen.

- MASCULINE: A classical Latin praenomen will be assigned equivalent to the meaning or phonetics of the new citizen’s first name. The nomen will be determined based on either phonetic/meaning equivalent of the last name, or based on the new citizen’s occupation.

- FEMININE: No praenomen will be assigned. The citizen’s title will be a feminized variation of their father’s nomen, differentiated in generation by number nomenclature (Major, Minor, Tertia, etc). If they have no father, they will assume the feminized nomen of a living male partner that is already a Legion citizen. If they have no living Legion family, they will be assigned the name “Romana” and likely be either sold into slavery or auctioned to a bachelor to gain a proper nomen.

For example: Marcus Gaius has two daughters. The eldest daughter is Gaia Major. The youngest daughter is Gaia Minor. Gaia Minor meets Decimus Junius, and they get married. Now Gaia Minor is named Junia. Gaia Major remains unchanged.

Legion soldiers have more dignity in society, and therefore have all the previous conventions, plus a cognomen. Since all Legion soldiers are masculine, differentiation between masc and fem naming conventions is irrelevant from this point forward. The nomen of a soldier may be akin to the structure of how an average citizen’s would be given, or if the soldier shows exceptional prestige and has no remaining male family, a nomen referencing warfare or combat will be assigned to them (Marcus, Augustus, Drusus, etc.).

A Legion cognomen acts effectively as a Roman military callsign. Cognomens follow classical Roman conventions. The cognomen will be used most frequently in a military setting.

II: Everyday Life

- Common Social Customs

Many Roman social customs are adopted into Legion life. For example, the entertainment at the colosseum is mimicked in the tourneys in the various arenas scattered throughout Legion territory. However, because of the key difference in that The Legion isn’t even pretending not to be a totalitarian dictatorship, there are a number of drastic differences between Roman social customs and Legion social customs.

Because of how respected the military is in Legion society, it is commonplace to show soldiers with utmost reverence. It’s customary to allow soldiers to stay in a citizen’s place of residence if the soldier requests it, and it’s customary to refer to the soldier by their military rank, not their nomen or cognomen (especially if the soldier in question is on duty). It’s considered rude or inappropriate to question the motives of a soldier, or prevent a soldier from accessing areas of a citizen’s property. Such transgressions can potentially be met with violence.

One may frequently see slaves struggling to keep up with workloads. It’s taboo, but not punishable to help them, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the productivity of one’s own work. After all, The Legion gains nothing from incomplete work. If helping a slave means increasing efficiency, then it’s appropriate, but a citizen may get strange looks from others for doing so.

Utilitarianism is the ideal philosophy under which everyone should function in an ideal Legion society, but this is clearly not the case nor the environment to foster it. Social norms are based strongly on class, and in most cases, selfishness prevails because selflessness can be seen as weak (or worse, suspicious) by trigger-happy soldiers and spies.

But hey, at least sex isn’t considered a super taboo topic or activity in Legion society. Got that much going for them. Granted, it’s seen more like a conquest, but at least it’s not seen as a sin. Woohoo? Lets go? Kinda? One step forward two steps back.

- Household Structure

A household in Legion territory for a citizen of average means will likely be similar to any other household in New Vegas (with the addition of slaves in wealthier households). Where things start to get confusing is the aforementioned situation of soldiers being allowed to invade households at will. Psychologically, these soldiers are deprived of a lot of comforts the average citizen may have. There is a decidedly nonzero chance that soldiers can show up like stray cats and keep coming back in the event that a citizen is interesting enough to them. Soldiers sometimes “claim” houses or small patches of territory they frequent as a substitute for the emotional interaction they lack. Humans are social creatures. The soldiers might not know why they want to keep coming back, but they do keep coming back. Parasocial.

Generally, a woman’s domain is the household in Legion territory. While the society is by no means matriarchal, it’s customary for a woman to maintain control over most happenings within a household. This often means a woman will need to interact with stray soldiers more frequently. Among female citizens in Legion territory, these soldiers are called catuli (singular catulus) for their presence and tendencies, though this is always in secret due to the harsh punishment of misrepresenting a soldier’s status to his face. A household can sometimes have up to three catuli claim it before fights start to break out among them about perceived territory.

It is expected for a couple in a household to have children. Cultivating multiple generations of soldiers is part of how The Legion grows most efficiently, because children are impressionable enough to instill Legion values without struggle. If a household does not have a child after several years of partnership, it is considered suspicious and the male of the partnership is encouraged to be unfaithful or open the relationship. While there are no consequences for not having children, there is intense pressure to do so.

- Settlement/Town Structure

As mentioned before, the equivalent of a mayor in each region is called a Vilicus, or an overseer. The Vilicus is responsible for tallying the census, assigning names to media populi, approving the pentimento of media populi, keeping track of production rates of resources from citizens, keeping a lookout for disease outbreak so a region can be quarantined if needed, and monitoring the citizens in each region for minor suspicious activity to report to those higher in status. Each town is also occupied by a heavy military presence, to intimidate citizens into productivity and complacency.

Most of the time, Legion towns are made of the previously conquered settlements now added to Legion territories. Building more houses is an avoidable expenditure if they just repurpose the structures already there with a few modifications. Despite the multiple depictions in-game of Caesar’s Legion showing little to no care about what damage they cause, it would make sense that the depictions in the gameplay are actually the outliers in the situation, since it’s far more efficient to leave the settlements intact and just gut and reconfigure the purpose.

There are also multitudes of mobile scout settlements, mostly made of fabric, tarp, and hide tents that can be easily condensed and moved in the event that the camp is compromised. In many cases, these camps are set up as a base to return to in order to stage an invasion of new territories. If possible, The Legion sets them up close to large landmasses like plateaus or mountains for additional cover in the event of an ambush. If that’s not available, The Legion makes settlements like this close to preexisting towns in order to make the wordless threat of “push us back, and innocents die”. Generally, very few citizens are taken on these excursions, but if the plan is to stay out longer, citizens who are medics may be involuntarily drafted into going with the scout team.

- Clothing, Hair, and Accessories

The Legion isn’t a necessarily materialistic society that allows a lot of room for personal expression. Since the goal is to create a homogenous society and culture, self expression through visual cues is often muted at best and absent at normal. Makeup, perfumes, and hair styling products are prohibited if they have any synthetic qualities or materials. In many cases, beauty products are exclusively reserved for performers, and even still, only natural pigments and materials would be permitted. Think the same pigments Ancient Egyptians would make for their makeup.

Protective updo hairstyles are common for long hair, both for practical purposes and for purposes of keeping hair out of reach and harder to pull. Efficiency is key, so in the event of a raid or a threat, everyone is expected to be able to hold their own to some extent. Part of that standard is remaining on guard, so keeping hair up while out of the house is customary.

In the military, hair is expected to be cut short, again, for efficiency. Any soldiers with long hair are expected to keep it in tight braids or cornrows to maintain the same level of efficiency. As long as it stays out of the face.

Most clothing is dull, salvaged from the wastelands. The only exception is clothing reserved for high ranking officials and Caesar, which is quite literally dyed in blood of enemies. Because blood fades to a blackish-red hue over time, high ranking officials will often appear to be wearing darker colors, when in actuality they’re wearing clothes that were soaked in blood as a symbol of power and debt paid to the gods (namely Mars).

Widows are permitted to wear part of their fallen husband’s bloodsoaked clothes through the mourning process, if The Legion can recover and identity the body. With this in mind, as soon as the widow finds a new husband, the bloodsoaked garment piece is burned.

Slaves are deprived of all aspects of individuality, given rags or scraps to wear and marked with red paint. A citizen may give finer clothes to a slave voluntarily, but those clothes must also be marked with red paint.

Jewelry, while rare, is often made of scrap metal salvaged and re-forged from battlefields or old weapons without any further use. Which is why jewelry is so rare. There is seldom ever an instance in which metal can’t become a weapon, so making jewelry is a waste of time and energy.

- Languages

Basically any language can be spoken in Legion territory as it stands, because as The Legion is currently, it doesn’t have enough power or force to totally instill a whole new language system. With that in mind, the groundwork is being laid for an eventual push to make Latin the official language of Caesar’s Legion. Between the commonly used Latin terminology to address people and the Roman theming of The Legion, it’s primed to eventually enforce Latin as the primary language. Highly educated citizens may be fluent in Latin, and most soldiers know commands and codes in Latin.

III: Industry

- Jobs

There are two types of jobs in The Legion, excluding military and slavery. One can either be a worker or a performer. Medics and nurses are highly valued, both on the battlefield and off, since chemical substances are prohibited in The Legion. Carpenters, metalworkers and blacksmiths, engineers, and tanners are some of the more important standard worker jobs, since all of them play directly into expanding the empire more efficiently, making more weapons and armor, or repurposing old material to make new. Tailors, glassworkers, weavers, technicians, and chemists are less valuable to The Legion to some extent because they either involve industries less geared towards conquest, or involve industries beyond the scope of what The Legion finds socially acceptable. Despite the amount of emphasis Roman polytheism puts on naturalistic sculpture, The Legion actually doesn’t find the arts very useful in the immediate future of the empire. What’s most important is conquest, not expression.

On the topic of the arts, performers were seen in a very poor light in The Legion, often oversexualized into objectification or framed as clowns. Most performance art is often seen as a waste of time or an avoidable expense, but it does keep soldier morale up since it gives them something to target that isn’t their fellow man. Being a performer in The Legion is marginally better than slavery, because one can at least have a house as a performer, but the physical and verbal abuse is often daily and unrelenting.

- Imports and Exports

The Legion is definitely not known for being friendly to neighboring factions, so any concept of import and export is often very loosely based in barter (namely, The Legion demanding tithe to barter for leaving a region alone, similar to how some mafias demand payment in exchange for protection from themselves). The Legion has a semi-steady stream of imports from their commonwealths which they pressure into helping them in trade for leaving their towns unburned and their people free from enslavement. However, this is decidedly not a permanent arrangement. This is a way to bide time to grow the nation a bit more before making moves on settlements and regions with more useful resources.

They export nothing unless it’s a strategic play. They pressure neighboring regions into paying them, even though they honestly don’t need it as much as they want the general population of other factions to think they do. Middle school bully nation.

IV: Politics, Education, and Religion

- What Senate?

The big difference between Rome and The Legion is that The Legion doesn’t try to pretend it’s not a dictatorship. There is no senate, there is no board of people to vote, no forum. The only voice that matters is Caesar’s, and it shows in every aspect of how the society is structured, from the strict rules on self expression, to the patriarchal hierarchy of Legion society. Ultimately, this makes the nation weaker, because in the event of Caesar’s death, it creates a power vacuum. No, I don’t think there’s a secret senate. No, I don’t think there is a solid backup plan. I think the closest thing there was to a senate was the two-man power-team that was Edward Sallow and Joshua Graham. We all know how well that worked out. And I think Caesar’s been running on fumes ever since that point, taking this as a sign to expand the nation faster before anyone sees him bleed. Hubristic in nature.

The closest thing there is to a senate are higher officials (such as Lanius) that Caesar hand-picked from Legion ranks to be his personal cabinet that all agrees with him. There is a distinct instability of power when recreating Rome without a senate, and there is the distinct air of trying to hide that open wound.

- In the Unlikely Event of a Transfer of Power

Let’s say, hypothetically, Caesar, the praetorian guard, and all his higher officials suddenly died. The role of Caesar would be up for grabs. In the event that there is no clear successor to Caesar, there is no real backup plan aside from an arena battle between the generals that could potentially succeed Caesar. A simple solution that will clearly show who can spill the most blood for Mars without hesitation or question.

With this in mind, there is one thing distinctly Roman about the potential of a transfer of power. There is always a nonzero chance that Caesar’s killer, be they foreigner or Legion, could become the next emperor. All that matters is who can devote themself to Mars in a way that would honor the fallen Caesar.

- Common Political Beliefs

Politics and religion go hand in hand for Caesar’s Legion because of the cultish way Caesar built the nation. The idea of Mars being the patron deity of The Legion instills a level of gratuitous and overzealous love of warfare among the people. Military expenditures are met with great support, and very little infrastructure on public service is supported as adamantly because of the instilled value of “we are all independent cogs working in a well oiled machine, we don’t need help”. Then again, it’s not like any other voice mattered anyways, since Caesar is the be all end all of political power.

There is a generally nationwide extremism when it comes to dealing with criminals, however. Criminal activity in The Legion is more often than not punished by torture and death, and nobody seems to really protest it to the degree that other factions do. As many of the travelers and traders in Fallout: New Vegas have said, the roads in Legion territories are incredibly safe. There is a level of patriotism in The Legion specifically regarding how safe their lands are, but in exchange, those lands also have an active military presence.

Conquest is also a pretty intrinsic pillar of Legion political beliefs, since the motivation to create a homogeneous society and usher in a new era of perceived piece may make some people accept the totalitarian power for what it is and hope it pans out right.

- Male vs Female Education Standards

Due to the intrinsic divide between male and female Legion citizens, the education of male and female Legion children is vastly different with the only exception being the uniform brainwashing. Male and female children are not only educated on different topics, they are also educated in different locations.

Similar to Spartan men, most male children (even including orphans from freshly raided towns) are give combat training just about as soon as they can hold a stick and swing it. The male children that show combat proficiency continue to become soldiers, and the male children who aren’t strong, but are intelligent are instead divided into training as either spies or medics, depending on the specifics of their skill sets. Male children who aren’t good at any of that end up becoming armigeri (singular armiger), the people who sharpen weapons and tend to the needs of more proficient soldiers. It’s a social tragedy to become what is essentially a pathetic sidekick to some far better soldier. Thankfully, since most of these children are trained from an incredibly young age to be strong, cunning, fast, and durable, very few people end up becoming armigeri. Generally speaking, no boy in The Legion goes without military training. The Legion can capture their blacksmiths and carpenters, there’s no need to train them in-house.

Female Legion children are not given formal education. They are expected to grow up to be housekeepers and produce the next generation of warlords. However, a family still has the liberty to educate a daughter at home with a tutor so long as it doesn’t interfere with the family’s productivity. Usually, female children are given medical teachings more oriented towards patching the injuries of their future husbands. However, girls aren’t left entirely defenseless. Girls are taught how to use ranged weapons and how to escape grapples in the event of an emergency. In addition, girls are given more of an education on finances and practical skills that tie into long-term survival, such as how to use every part of a killed animal for resources, how to patch clothes, and how to cultivate plants.

A Thank You And Some Concluding Comments

Hello hello to anyone who’s made it this far through my ludicrous ramblings! Thank you for reading! This is really just me throwing nonsense in the air and seeing what floats, and most of what I’ve written here will probably be subject to edits every now and then to keep building up what I’ve already put down.

Feel free to use this lore for any fan fictions, fan art, original characters, or whatever else! Please keep building on it!

I hope y’all enjoyed my insane chattering!

[merakiui]

thinking about fwb fics and even though i already wrote one for floyd (omegaverse fwb) i'd like to write one that's more fleshed out (like contractual codependency and tmdg).

azul's fwb was contractual and done out of a need for something (reader needed more resources for keeping ramshackle in good shape and azul wanted a convenient cover so drugging her with love potion would be seamless).

jade's fwb is defined by "you're not him, but you look like him and so it will do." he benefits from it because he gets to spend time with you and he uses your love for floyd to his advantage to get you to do things you'd never do with him.

for floyd's fwb fic i'm thinking,,,, ex-boyfriend floyd who becomes your rebound after your most recent (now ended) relationship with [insert twst character here]. part of me wants to make it jade for sibling rivalry antics, but then i also like the idea of it being someone from the basketball club. maybe you've dated everyone in the basketball club (everyone: jamil, ace, floyd) and you're back to who you began with initially: floyd. maybe you agree casual sex is fine because neither of you have feelings for the other, right? floyd's just in it to have fun and so are you. there's some sort of yandere to be found here... ;;;;; but then i love cheesy and fluffy romances. orz it is my greatest weakness, as is an angst-tinged romance.

i need to write floyd slowly realizing it's not just the horny grip that has him acting so goofy. he's genuinely in love with you and those feelings have stayed with him even after the two of you first broke up. i need him to realize the reason he gets so angry whenever he thinks about you with anyone else is because he's jealous and wants you all to himself; because he loves you and the thought of you being apart from him makes him shrivel with discomfort. i need him to be conflicted about the fwb because by mer standards the two of you would have been a mated pair already (because recurring fwb isn't a very common relationship dynamic in the sea. at least, not in the waters he's from).

i need him to know all of your favorites without faltering because when floyd likes something he commits it to memory and he really likes you. i need jamil and ace to be rooting for him in their own ways and maybe the lot of you can still be healthy friends despite being exes. :D i need azul and jade to scheme and push you closer to floyd so you can be more than his fuck buddy. maybe a little "kiss the eel" mischief in the mostro lounge. >:)

OHHHHHHH. perhaps that's it!!!!! azul's fwb was "no saying i love you." jade's is "don't let floyd find out we're doing this." and so maybe floyd's is all about no kissing because kissing makes it too real (in reader's opinion). the idea of floyd, who is so physical with his affections, having to withhold kisses (on the lips).......... aaaaaaaa he's going to go crazy...

but most of all, i want to write floyd fucking you in mer form because he never got the chance when the two of you were first dating because maybe he was worried he'd do something silly like admit his true feelings (also another thing he never got to tell you when you were dating). :O hmmmm,,,,, floyd wrestling with being "that silly guy who you sleep with every now and then" and actually wanting to be "that silly guy who is your forever and always." yummy!!!!!! he's so in love, but he's struggling to open up with raw, real feelings because he's so used to just being a goofy guy who never shows those sides of himself and he's not used to feeling vulnerable and and and and AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

i will file these ramblings away for potential future fics hehehehe.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

THE SHOW WAS AMAZING OMGGGGGG RAAAUGHGJFHFHFH GOES FERAL AND GNAWS ON MY COMPUTER

ALSO I MADE NEW MUTIALS HI NEW MUTUALS!!!! HEWWO!!!! BAPS YOU WITH MY PAWS

Spoilers under the cut

H-o-t-t-o-g-o, you can take me HOT to goooo

TWINKS ON ICE and "camera flash can be distracting, Phil will fall of the stage and die" absolutely SLAYED me

Dan accidentally said "Dan and pheal" instead of Dan and Phil and they both stopped to pretend to hold the pheal. Dan said that would be a better show than this.

SISTER DANIEL SLAYED

I don't know if this happens at EVERY show but in ours, the audience chose to kill the original Dan and Phil every time

Dan has illegalized ted Cruz but then got arrested for being British. Dr Phil loves helping old ladies cum and his favorite word is skibidi. I don't remember the third facts for either

Even though it wasn't picked, a whole bunch of people around us (and us) started chanting "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" when they asked what Dr. Phil's favorite word would be. Later we chanted "TOUR BUS" but that one worked!!!!

One of the audience confessions was that someone likes to "mark their territory" (yes. In the gross way) to know what it's like so sister Daniel called them a bad kitty and they sprayed the audience with water. Also Phil called out that some people had their MOUTHS OPEN while they were being sprayed.

The other audience confessions were that someone wrote "Phantrash(insert some numbers I can't remember)" on a wall in invisible ink and then MOVED OUT OF THW HOUSE AND LEFT IT THERE??? And then a confession that just said "someone in the audience thinks you sound like owls" which they both were confused by at first, but then Dan's face like. LIT UP in recognition and he repeated the question to Phil and Phil said "Who?" And Dan LOST IT and made fun of him. LMAO

They explained their first experience at a bucces. And THEN later phil said that his new favorite nuts are bucces nuts (as revealed later when they were asked by the audience to discuss nuts). Also they hate peanuts and think no one likes them unless they're paid to by "big peanut". And they both like "hot nuts" and Dan likes them salted and Phil likes them sweetened/candied. And yes they made sex jokes about it and also Dan said that Phil's favorite nuts were actually HIS NUTS

Phil having the phitties to the wind was not what I expected

I. Could have SWORN that there was an ...."uninvited guest" in the 🍑 part of the wresting match but no one's posted about it even though the whole theatre was like "AUGH!!" And they cut away and I turned to everyone next to us and was like "!!!! Uh oh was that REAL?? Um-" so. Maybe we were wrong. But I was about to be like "DANIEL HOWELL I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOUR THERAPIST IS SO GOOD BECAUSE I PERSONALLY WOULD DIE"

Dan wore a cowboy hat during the musical number

I NEED THAT SONG IN MY PLAYLIST AND THAT DANCE MEMORIZED

I MISSED THE FUCKING PHOTO OPP BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME ENOUGH WARNINF TO UNLOCK MY PHONEEEE evil. Evil of them. Dan and Phil you betrayed me personally. Evil. I DID however get them walking aways

I bought the Dan and Phil made me gay shirt

Unrelated to the show itself but someone was handing out worms, and there were SO many sister Daniel cosplayers, and I happened to sit literally right in front of two other systems so it was like. Halfway through the show we realized that's what was happening and it was like HEWWO???? WOAH. Also this was my first time in Austin and guys... guys some sections of these roads are fucking perpendicular. I saw multiple people with mobility aids and like I HAVE ZERO AIDS AND IT HURT TO WALK ARE Y'ALL GOATS??? ARE YOU JUST NOT ABLE TO WALK OUTSIDE AT ALL AND HAVE TO TAKE CARS??? The whole fucking city is a series of V shapes with buildings on it. Girl why do your streets go straight up into the sky are you trying to drive up to jesus. Liked the rentable scooters tho

[lambilegs]

girlllll i've been stalking your blog all night and all i have to say is: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KEEP WRITING !!! you have some serious talent for real.

also you're the one to blame for my new obsession with lee like omg i want her so bad????? some lee x chubby reader would actually kill me 😵‍💫 i love her so much she would be absolutely obsessed with her plus-sized gf

lee harker x plus-sized!reader headcanons

(ANON ILY FOR THIS REQUEST!! 😭🙏🏽 as a certified Thick Girl™ myself, this truly made me so giddy and simpy to write. I was truly having the time of my life. guys this is your sign to please request any other plus-sized!reader scenarios/ideas you have in mind. ALSO BAEEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH omg that seriously means the world to me, thank you so so much for the compliments ahhh 🥺 please stalk away HAHA)

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡ ✩ 🎀°.❀⋆⸜ 🌷

will one hundred percent steal your clothes -- she loves looser fitting clothes in general when she wants to be comfy, and the fact that these ones smell like you? literally heaven

on days when you can't sleep over, she'll probably sleep in your shirts or hoodies (no she will never admit this to you)

SOOOO GRABBY I CANNOT EXAGGERATE

when you guys are sitting next to each other, her hand is always gripping your thigh and just smoothing over the skin or gently squeezing, especially if she's anxious and/or antsy

she also loves laying her head on your thighs or tummy. if you're sitting on the couch and she needs a break from the case she's working on, she'll just lay down and rest her head on your stomach. if she's on her back, you get shy because you keep catching her staring up at you, eyes soft and warm in the dim lighting, the wisp of a smile on her face

she'll sometimes lightly joke, quietly musing, "this is a nice view," staring RIGHT up at your tits (this earn her a flick on the forehead)

and if you're lying down, she'll sometimes get on her stomach between your thighs and rest her head on your tummy, nuzzling and giving aimless, soft kisses on the skin. when you buck up because her mouth or strands of her hair are tickling you, she'll just smile lightly and mumble, "sorry"

was probably the hugest fucking loser before y'all dated, always trying to not check you out, feeling like it'd be disrespectful or impolite to do so. but, god, would it be hard, because she'd be getting the most vivid sexual images sometimes 😭 like, you sit next to her, and since her eyes are usually pointed down, she immediately take notice of how your thighs widen. suddenly, she's imagining those thighs wrapped around her face or hips, and her eyes literally widen in response to such a thought DKSJKS poor baby once literally started coughing from shock and you had to get her water

if you bend over in front of her when you guys are just friends (whether it's an accident or to purposely tease her hehe), she would be blinking SO hard, forcing her eyes away and just finding some spot on the wall, willing her brain to just focus on it LMFAOOOO probably internally repeating the mantra of, "don't look, she's your friend, just focus on that painting. look at the colours, look at the shapes"

if you guys ever go shopping together as friends, and you put on something that hugs your curves just right, her eyes are just skittering all over, trying to force herself to not linger on any one part for too long. she eventually just gives up and stares at the ground, nodding and saying, "mm, looks good"

again, convinced she loves when she can see the outline of your tummy through a skirt or your jeans. like, it probably genuinely drives her insane, to see a hint of your shape like that, knowing that if she were to just slip one article of clothing off, it'd be exposed. the entire hinting of it would have her so wanting, just aching to kiss you through that fabric

nsfw cut:

one hundred percent pushes her faces into your tits when you ride her, just aimlessly sucking and kissing them

LOVESSSS reverse cowgirl omg those big hands of hers will be gripping and kneading at your ass, small groans leaving her lips from how it jiggles when smacking against her thighs

when you guys start dating, after she's eaten you out a few times, she one day shyly requests post-coitus, as you guys are cuddling in bed and intertwining your fingers together, "one day... could you sit on my face?" (listen she wants it too bad to not ask, but also has no idea how to subtly go about such a request)

she'd be a fucking mess when it happens. just moaning and lapping so desperately at your wet pussy as your ass and thighs completely engulf her. she'd be on cloud nine being totally surrounded by the feeling of your skin, your softness, your scent

convinced she has a thing for love handles and would be grabbing them so hard when fucking you with her strap. she's just on her knees while you're laid out and spread in front of her, and she's just drilling in there, hands tight and relentless on your hips in order to keep you anchored. she'd look so hot in that position too, just gritting her teeth and clenching her jaw as she watches you fall apart. oh yeah and she totally leaves fingerprints -- honestly, she probably also sucks marks into your hips, loving the idea of claiming you in such a private spot

[arc852]

Shattered Reflections Ch. 2

Chapter Summary: Skizz delegates himself to finding them some food and water. But as he is searching, he comes across some giants.

Warnings: amnesia, frustration, and worry

Word Count: 2559

Part 1 | AO3 Link

Sorry for the long wait! But chapter two is finally here! And hopefully this story will be updated more frequently now. I hope you guys enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 The wood had already been rotting away, so it was easy for Skizz and Joel to hack away enough of it in order to make an entrance. Inside was actually pretty roomy. The hollowness of the tree went up a good amount, making the ceiling plenty high for the two of them. That was something Skizz had been a bit nervous about. He was a pretty tall guy for a borrower after all. But thankfully, low ceilings and tight spaces didn’t seem to be a problem in this tree.

 The actual area itself was nice and big too. Enough for him and Joel to comfortably be in the same space. He looked over to Joel, noticing how the other borrower seemed to be in deep thought. “Whatcha thinkin’?” Skizz asked, watching as Joel blinked out of his thoughts and turned to look at Skizz.

 “Huh? Oh, just thinking of what we can do in here to make it more…I guess homely? Livable?” Joel waved his hand around. “Whatever you want to say.”

 That was fair. Despite the space, it was still a hollowed out tree. It was dark, dusty, musty, and dirty. Not too different from walls though, if Skizz was being honest. So it shouldn’t take them much to get it cleaned and ready to live in. 

 “We can probably use some of the fallen leaves to get this dust out of here.” Skizz suggested, kicking some of the dust around as he mentioned it. 

 Joel nodded along but was mainly focused on one of the walls. He squinted at it and then held his hands up in a sort of square shape. “That would probably work.” He said in regards to Skizz’s suggestion. “I was also thinking we could hack away here for a window, in order to get some light in here. Maybe one on the other side as well.” Oh, so that’s what Joel was doing. Picturing what a window would look like. Skizz couldn’t help but agree.

 “Yeah, can’t exactly start a fire in here for some light.” The tree would quickly burn down if they tried. Though, speaking of a fire, it might be good to get one going soon. Outside, of course, and far enough away from the tree. They also had food to worry about and one of them would have to take a trip down to the river to get some water at some point.

 As Skizz looked toward Joel, who still seemed to be in thought about this new space, Skizz decided he would take it upon himself to worry about those things as Joel dealt with their shelter. He decided to say as much. “Hey, as long as it’s okay with you, how about we split up? You can work on the shelter and I’ll worry about getting us some food and water.” Skizz suggested.

 Joel blinked and looked back over at Skizz. “Oh…yeah, that sounds good.” Joel said with a nod. “Thanks Skizz. Let me know if you need any help.”

 Skizz nodded back and grinned. “Same to you!”

 As Joel got back to his thoughts, Skizz walked back outside and grabbed some of the bark they tore away from the trunk, crafting a pick-like tool out of that and the pebbles on the ground. With a real tool now in hand Skizz looked around the area, searching for anything that might give them a steady food source.

 He wasn’t having much luck from here though, so he decided to start walking, leaving the shaded area under the tree for the first time. He decided to head toward the river. If anything he could get some water to bring back, but he was also hoping for some wild crops that had maybe decided to grow alongside the river.

 It was quite the trek away and Skizz felt a bit anxious leaving his buddy behind, even if just for a little bit. But he knew Joel was safe inside of the tree. Safer than Skizz, actually. Skizz was the one in danger, out in the open fields like this. He gripped his pick tighter, keeping an eye out not only for food but for any potential dangers.

 Thankfully, he made it to the river with no problems. Well, except for one. As Skizz walked closer to the water, he had the sudden realization that he didn’t actually have a way of getting any water back over to their base. Skizz facepalmed at his own stupidity before looking around the river bed for anything he might be able to use to make a makeshift bucket.

 There was only mud, dirt, and a few sticks around. Maybe if he compacted some mud and dirt together into a bowl shape? But no, the water would probably just seep into it. Skizz sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It looked like he would have to wait on the water for now. He turned his focus onto the area by the river, trying to see if anything crop-like was popping out of the ground. He didn’t see anything though, the bank of the river only seeming to hold mud and some weeds. It seemed he was leaving completely empty handed.

 “Great.” He muttered to himself as he turned around and started heading back toward the tree. “You had one job Skizz…” He prepared himself for Joel to make fun of him for not making or bringing anything to put the water in but as he walked, slowly, the ground below him started to shake.

 It started out as faint tremors. Barely noticeable. But it only seemed to continue and grow. Skizz stopped and looked around, knowing that the shaking meant something big was headed this way. He kept his eyes peeled for some kind of animal, maybe a cow or sheep. But his eyes widened as he noticed, in the distance, a borrower’s worst fear.

 Giants.

 Skizz didn’t even think, diving behind some foliage as soon as he noticed them heading in his direction and hoping they would move past him quickly. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as the giants came upon his hiding spot. There were four of them in total and all four of them were massive. Skizz felt dizzy trying to look up all the way at their faces. It was just his luck though, as the four stopped just short of where he was hidden, now standing only a few feet away from where he was.

 “I still can’t believe X is just starting the season as normal.” One of them said, sounding very frustrated. Skizz shivered at that. He didn’t want to get found by a giant normally but an angry or frustrated one was the lowest on the list. Skizz also couldn’t help but note that he appeared to have giant parrot-like wings folded against his back. Something in the back of his mind told him that meant this particular giant was something called an avian hybrid. The term sounded familiar but Skizz was unsure where he knew that from.

 “I know, I don’t really like it either...But you heard what he said. They’re actually on the server. The best way to find them is to have all of us split up.” The only girl of the group said, as far as Skizz could tell anyway. Again, it was hard to see any of their faces, but he could just make out the fact that she had red hair.

 “I still don’t like it. Having different search parties scouring the server is one thing but having us start as normal? I just…” The one with wings said, his wings drooping a bit behind him as he trailed off. The frustration was still there but Skizz could tell there was now some worry behind it all.

 “We just gotta trust X, right? If they’re on the server, then they’re pretty safe wherever they are.” Another one of the giants said. This one appeared to be using a cane, at least that’s what Skizz thought it was anyway. This giant also appeared to have scars across his body, which Skizz compared to his own. It was weird seeing a giant with so many scars. “Besides, X has a lot more people to think about then just them.” The scarred up giant continued.

 The avian hybrid grumbled. “Yeah, yeah…it doesn’t mean we have to be happy about it though.”

 “We can still spend most of our time looking for them.” The scarred giant said, leaning just a bit more on his cane. “But we should probably find where we want to base too.”

 “...That mountain in front of us looks pretty nice.” The avian pointed out, sounding a bit defeated. 

 “Yeah, maybe the four of us could base around it?” The girl giant said, trying to lift the mood a bit.

  Suddenly, the scarred giant stood up straight and lifted his hand to cup above his eyes. “Wait…is that Mumbo over there?” He sounded excited and that was all the warning any of them got before he took off in that direction. 

 “Wha- Scar!” The one with wings called out, said wings fluffing up as he took off after Scar. Scar, huh? Considering he was calling him the scarred giant in his head, that was quite the accurate name.

 That left the girl and the one giant that hadn’t spoken the entire time they had all been there. He couldn’t help but take in the fact that this giant appeared to be a hybrid as well, though this one was less obvious than the avian. The only thing Skizz could really make out from where he was, was the forked tail hanging limply behind him. Skizz kept watching as the girl placed a hand on the guy’s upper back. “You okay?”

 The guy sighed. “I just…don’t get it. Where are they?” He spoke quietly, his tone confused but also sad. But Skizz was more focused on just how familiar his voice was. It rattled in his ears like he had heard it a million times before. But that wasn’t possible. Why would a giant’s voice be familiar to him?

 He tuned back in just as the girl spoke again. “I don’t know. But we’ll find them, okay?” She was rubbing comforting circles across his upper back now. “We’ll find them.”

 “Yeah…” He said, though he didn’t quite sound convinced, and then both walked away, following after their friends.

 Skizz still refused to move from his hiding spot until he was sure the giants were far enough away. He could still hear them in the distance, which was not ideal, but they shouldn’t be able to see him anymore at least. So Skizz took the chance and ran back to the tree they had both deemed their shelter.

 “Joel! We’ve got a problem!” Skizz shouted as soon as he ran inside the tree, his heart beating fast in his chest. Being so close to the giants must have affected him more than he thought. Joel jumped at Skizz’s sudden entrance and turned to face Skizz with a look of surprise on his face.

 “What? Skizz, what are you on about?” Joel asked with a raised brow, setting the leaf he had been using to dust the area up against the wall.

 Along with his increased heart rate, Skizz’s breaths were heavy from how fast he had run. But he managed to catch it as he continued. “We’ve got giants.”

 Joel’s eyes widened and then narrowed. “What?” He hissed out. Skizz motioned for him to follow and both borrowers exited the tree and rounded the corner a bit. They stayed close to the trunk and Skizz pointed in the direction the giants were still talking in.

 “See? There’s five of them and I think they’re planning on basing on that mountain. Or around it.” Skizz said, recounting what he had heard. He didn’t understand a lot of what they had said, something about trying to find someone maybe? But the most important thing was the fact that they were going to be living so close to the two of them.

 “That’s not good.” Joel said before pulling back. Skizz followed Joel back to the front of the tree. “That’s really close to where we are. Too close.”

 Skizz hummed in agreement. The thought of having the giants so close was nerve-wracking to say the least. “Do we…move?” When Skizz looked back at Joel, the other borrower appeared to be in deep thought. 

 “No, no we got a good thing going for us here.” Joel said, motioning to the tree. It was true, not a lot of trees would be hollowed out already like this one was. And it was the closest tree to their only known water source right now. “But…maybe this is actually a good thing.”

 Skizz blinked. “What? How is this a good thing?” Skizz asked, not understanding. How could giants living so close to them be anywhere close to a good thing? 

 Joel sent him a look. “Skizz, we’re borrowers. What do we do?” Joel asked instead, looking to Skizz to figure out what he already had.

 Skizz frowned but answered. “We borrow.”

 Joel raised an eyebrow. “From?”

 “From gia-oh…” Skizz trailed off, realization hitting him. Joel just laughed and patted him on the back.

 “If they really are basing so close, that means we’ll have easy access to their food and supplies.” Joel continued, looking toward the mountain. The giants had moved, now in sight from their position in front of the tree but still far enough away where they didn’t have to worry. “Looks like we won’t be roughing it out here after all.”

 Skizz nodded, finally seeing the blessing for what it was. But there was still a sense of dread deep down in his gut whenever he thought about borrowing from the giants. It was a strange feeling to have, shouldn’t he be used to it? He’s been a borrower his whole life. Maybe it was the amnesia, or maybe borrowers never got rid of that feeling of fear at the sight of beings larger than them. Skizz felt the latter was more accurate.

 As Joel continued to talk and make plans, Skizz’s gaze couldn’t help but wander back over to the giants. From this angle, he could see them more clearly. And his eyes wouldn’t leave the one with a tail. Now that he could see him more clearly, he was able to see the horns that grew from his head and the claws at the end of his fingers. Even with this updated information though, Skizz still wasn’t sure what kind of hybrid he was.

 He had never seen this giant before in his life. But for some reason, something was pulling on Skizz’s chest. Pounding in his head. Skizz winced as the pounding grew into a headache and he turned away as he rubbed at his head.

 Right, he needed to focus. Food and water. Now that he was back at base, he could use the things lying around to make some sort of bucket to grab water with. As far as food went, they should be fine until they could borrow some from the giants.

 Skizz got to work, tuning back in to what Joel was saying and letting himself forget about the strangely familiar giant.

[laura1633]

HI! Thoughts are being thunk, could you do a drabble about Charles being obsessed with Max belly bulge when charles fcks him? Dying for it

Thx for writing so beautifully

Hi Anon, thank you so much ♥️ and thank you for the ask (and the rather lovely image 😄) I have had a go at writing a small little drabble below, although this was something new to me so hopefully this is kind of what you wanted, if not then sorry - my mind just went this way! 😆

“You ready?” Charles hums as he mouths lazily at Max’s neck. The Dutchman moans with each press of the lips, the sound vibrating up his throat as he spreads his legs wider and starts rocking against Charles' body. 

“Just go slowly” Max’s eyelids flutter as he looks up at Charles, “to start, go slow” 

He looks a little nervous. Charles doesn’t really blame him, in fact Max has gotten a lot further than most guys that the Monegasque has been with. Nearly every single one has taken one look at his cock and absolutely insisted on topping. Not Max though, Max looked at it and practically drooled before grabbing the lube and telling Charles to start opening him up ready. 

Charles fully intends to follow Max’s instructions and go slowly. Two guys have let him top previously and both never managed his full length. Max looks absolutely determined though. They have spent the best part of two hours prepping the Dutchman. Charles starting with his tongue before progressing to fingers and finally working up to the rather large dildo Max had tucked away in his bedside cabinet. 

There is a definite gape in the Dutchman’s hole now, in fact the more Charles stares at it the more he thinks Max might stand a chance of taking him as promised. Except it is not really just the girth that is the problem. 

“Please Charles” Max keens and pouts as Charles takes his time lining up. The soft mewling sounds turn to hisses though the second Charles’ cock pushes in past his rim. It burns despite the intensive prep and if Max thought the Monegasque looked big then its nothing compared to how big he actually feels as he is sinking in - hot and huge and filing Max up to the point that it seems like there is no room for anything else - not even breath - Max pants out heavily as he tries desperately to free space up inside himself. 

“You good?” Charles stokes his hand down Max’s jaw as he keeps inching in. Max’s eyes are watering already but he’s not asking to slow down just moaning for more and more. 

Charles’ hips stutter slightly and Max groans again, his body feels like it might be too small to accommodate all of the Monegasque and yet he is still trying and willing and eager. 

“Why do you have to be so big?” Max half laughs, half moans. He’s been with guys on the larger side before but not like this. Charles’ cock feels like it’s spearing him open and irrationally Max feels like it’s pushing all the way up into the folds of his throat. 

“Just relax” Charles coos as he feels Max tensing up around him. The Dutchman is moaning and scratching down his back and his legs are shifting against the sheets as he tries to adjust to what is happening to his body. Charles does something he hasn’t done before though - bottoms out. And its fucking glorious 

The Monegasque reaches out and strokes his palm over the curve that is now clearly visible in Max’s stomach. 

“Oh fuck” Max whines loudly as he realises what Charles is doing. The Dutchman reaches down with shaky hands and soothes over where the Monegasque’s cock is pushing up against his skin, “I can feel you” Max doesn’t just mean from the inside, he can feel the shape of Charles’ cock pushing against his taut skin and filling his inside entirely. 

Charles rocks his hips back a little, just a few inches, just enough to see Max’s stomach flatten and then re-inflate as he pushes back in. He’s seen things like this in porn before but honestly thought it was some camera trickery. It doesn’t feel real that Max is taking this, that his stomach is inflating with each movement. Charles feels like he’s - 

Impaling Max. Taking him over completely. Utterly claiming him. 

And Max is willing him on and rocking up against him and looks like he is completely coming undone. 

The Monegasque keeps one hand pressed against Max’s stomach so he can feel the bulge push against him each time he bottoms out. Max is sweating and writhing around and moaning happily. 

“You’re doing so good” Charles reassures as he leans in and peppers kisses along Max’s collarbone. The Monegasque’s vision starts to blur around the edges, Max’s body looks like it’s expanding more than humanly possibly, his belly so rounded he looks - reshaped - or even - 

“You look fucking pregnant” Charles blurts out as he sees Max’s stomach round out once more. Max moans obscenely at the thought and encourages Charles on. 

The Monegasque snaps his hips back and forth. Stares and stares and stares out how Max is taking him as he fucks into the Dutchman at an increasingly desperate pace. With each thrust they both moan and pant and Max starts fucking screaming and crying as he orgasms again and they both watch the come splatter down over the Dutchman’s swollen stomach. 

Charles buries himself as deep as possible into Max and watches as the skin pulls tight and it looks like he is about to rip out of the Dutchman’s body. He comes so hard he feels like he’s flooding Max’s insides to the point the Dutchman might drown in it. As he pulls out slowly the come seeps out and trickles down Max’s shaking thighs. 

“Shit” Charles collapses down on the bed, his whole body trembling, “You did take it all, fuck you took it all” 

Max grins proudly to himself. He had thought Charles had been joking about perpetually having to bottom because other guys were too afraid to be topped by him - Max kind of gets their point now - his body felt like it was going to be ripped open at one point and he’s not sure all his organs are still sat in the right place. It was more than worth it though. 

“You think - , you would let me again?” Charles asks before he’s even come down from his orgasm. He doesn’t mean right away of course, although as Max nods eagerly he thinks maybe another few rounds tonight is not out of the question. If he can fill Max with as much come as possible then the

[adrian-sheppy]

can you talk about aroace freemercy :D?

Freemercy being aroace is an important part of the character if you want to view him as a real guy and not an ingame avatar and want to keep his odd moral compass intact. It is intertwined with his personality and worldview. ESSAY INBOUND.

Freemercy is detached from the world. There is good or there is bad. There are people to save and there are enemies. Nuance and shades of gray are often lost on him. Can the concept of a savior love? Can a self-made lethal weapon be held without cutting the skin? Can a man so focused on saving what's good and exterminating what's not stop to smell the roses? Does he actually care about anyone, or is this simply an obligation to him? What drives him, drives his morals? He is not really a healer. His hands that have tended wounds could have also been the cause of the wounds. He will shoot someone or break a bone if it meant physically stopping them if it would keep them alive. Freemercy is a bundle of strange impulses and uncomfortable truths masquerading as an average man. After all, he laughs, jokes, can hold a conversation, has a calm, put together demeanor... but don't be fooled.

His rules and some thoughts behind them

1. Save as many of his own as possible (us versus them mentality. what qualifies as his own? Scientists? Civillians? or... non-Enemies?)

2. Remove as many Enemies as possible (Enemies, capitalized. He has enemies. People and things who are dangerous, or even have the potential to be dangerous. He goes as far as to kill leaches in the water. Where is the line? Remember: he is not merciful)

3. Remove Hazards if Possible (nothing to really overanalyze with this one, hazards was defined as things that could kill people)

So, when you take him out of his element, out of danger, his mind will concoct it. He's not exactly a man with many hobbies. He's selfless --- too selfless. Selfless to the point it wraps back around into selfharm (see: grenade jumping). He fills the Freemercy shaped hole in his life by doing good, by being kind, by being attentive. And he does it by saving lives, too. Present him with the trolly problem and if he is certain he cannot stop the trolley, he will flip the lever (even if he knew the person tied to the track), and the only thing he'd care about is he failed to save everyone, not that he knew the person on the track. (And then even then, he can't linger for too long. He has people to save)

People are goals to him. Keep them safe; and when that can't be done, keep them alive. And threats are to be sought out and eliminated. He is too busy saving and obsessing. No one person is more important to him than another. They are people, and they are either good or bad. Freemercy will hurt himself or others for the greater good, and that includes anyone "close" to him. And... he's aroace (and you could even say aplatonic if you want too aswell)! It fits him well. He reminds me of when Data fron star trek next generation tries to be in a relationship: Freemercy isn't mean and he might try, but the concept of intimacy is alien to him, and he doesn't "feel" the right things to be able to engage with it. He cannot prioritize a life, especially one that's not in danger. It's hard enough to keep friends. The only reason he has any is because the other Freemen HAVE to associate with him. He's deeply misguided and sacrificial to a fault, and that can be uncomfortable to be around.

But it's important to note he doesn't see the need to try and change how he operates. He doesn't feel it his burden to save others, it's more like his duty. It's a job he does and does well. And it works! And as long as he's saving people (his self worth is determined on how many people he saves), then he's doing well! He's in his element as the savior of humanity, and being a savior doesn't mean you need to have the ability to love. And... he doesn't.

little bonus:

I like drawing Freemercy with snakes. I've usually only done one, but he has two! A black snake and a white snake. These have multiple meanings and were given to him for symbolic reasons, and one of those reasons is aroace! The black snake is the Asexual ring and the white snake is the Aromantic ring. Just a little fun . smiles.

[becoming-happy-for-myself]

Vision Board 2023 ✨

1. Exercise: For me this means moving my body in any way, shape or form. I want to go on walks, experience nature, different places in and around my city, go on hikes. I’ve recently bought a used Crosstrainer/elliptical off of eBay - I’m going to use it 3-4 times a week to build up endurance and to simply keep my heart and therefore my entire body healthy. It has for some reason always been a little dream of mine to some day run a (half-)marathon. I am nowhere near able to do that anytime soon... But this year I'm starting to work on that!

2. Diet: I want to cook more. I want to use fresh vegetables and fruit. I want to limit fast food/sweets/processed food because I know they don’t make me feel good and they’re not contributing to my goals. I’m not saying I won’t ever eat any of those things again, but they should be an exception, not the norm. Since I also struggle with Crohn’s disease, this is a very important aspect that I have to figure out for the rest of my life. Even though the medication I'm on right now is doing a good job, I’m sure I can support my body by feeding it actual real food - and therefore also prevent future flares.

3. Self-Care: This includes skin and hair care. I have very acne-prone and oily skin, but I know that actually drinking a lot of water and religiously following a skincare routine does help a lot. Self care for me also means taking care of my mental health. I’ve always been a pretty anxious person, but this last year really hasn’t been great. I want to start journaling / writing in a diary again, as this helps me clear my head and at the same time it is a wonderful thing to look back trough my life at a later point. I also want to figure out, what it is I want to do with my life (career wise). I’m currently studying in a masters program, but as of late I'm not sure if that’s actually what I want / should be doing.

I’m going to share my journey on this blog, which will also include specific goals, daily routines, what I eat, and what I do to reach my goals. I want to lose weight (around 15 kgs / 33 lbs), feel healthier and more energized overall and become happy and content with the way I live my life. I hope you guys are along for the ride ✨

[primedere]

okay so what’s this about Asmodeus making you believe in hauntings now 👁️👁️ if you don’t mind explaining

YOU SHOULD KNOW!!! YOU AND CLINK GET THE INSIDE SCOOP ON EVERYTHING!! although it would be good to have every single point listed here, for convenience. so.

the hauntings: a masterlist

1 ) when i first looked up what obey me was, i looked at pictures. i got to him. i took note. weird looking guy, hes so beautiful it pissed me off, ha ha ha. conveniently, there was one of those pill shaped suggestions for what to add to your google search. that was just his name. i have not seen that get put there since. not even really on his 2024 birthday iirc. now it's always "mammon" or "solomon" or "levi", all the popular picks.

2 ) by pure coincidence, i got a phone with the space to download obey me in may while his birthday event was still running. clink pushed me to get in there. i had no idea.

3 ) his call was the first i caught in real time, besides mammon's at the very beginning of the tutorial section. prior to this i didn't know you could get calls while playing.

4 ) i had only one asa card that got me through levels in the original obey me. snowy bliss. once the elements of the cards started becoming more important, the other two members of my team would change frequently, with this OP wrath asa card being the only common denominator between all my teams. i never got a single other person for surprise guests. nor did i hear anyone else's "player initiates the battle" dialogues.

5 ) on that note, i never even saw anyone else on my title screen. i always thought "man, weird rng but this must be somewhat normal, to get mostly asa," and for A MONTH this just happened to me. then satan and lucifer and diavolo started to actually show up. i was weirded out. i realized i never saw these people's screens before.

6 ) i took a lot of breaks while playing initially bc it fucking sucked ass & they were all such pricks for no reason. the first time i quit, i came back to his devil's water panic event. i did not know i'd be seeing him cleavage out the second i decided to come back.

7 ) you saw me make my sona. i wanted the slightly bisexual but very potent color palette, mostly black thing going on. i come to find out however recent enough later that in the ongoing hero event, asa has a villain outfit and we were matching color palettes, with the exception of the gold trimmings on his ensemble.

8 ) generally, i have never seen a character get bear coded before in my life. i didn't think that was an animal any media would choose for their character, but fresh into my newfound being mentally ill about bears, i get introduced to someone who has literally turned into one.

9 ) for my first two ten rolls in nightbringer, both being for gacha events involving asa and one other person, i'd always get the other person in the ten roll BUT asa, alone, in another one roll i did after the fact. this memory might not be accurate. i forget about the gacha every time i'm not looking at it.

10 ) we all have the vague visions of characters we simp for sometimes, right? like when the guy in the movie looks up at the sky and pictures his mentor's face in the clouds and asks it "what would you say..?" WELL. one night i was talking to mine. i was disheveled and very depressed (putting it lightly), and for some reason my vision kept telling me to check the game. i did. this was when i discovered he had new dialogue, with a LOT of the first ones i heard being his comforting ones ("You can let your guard down but only do it around me, okay?" — which i had been at this point, as a note — "There, there. You're just a bit tired, aren't you?" etc. etc.) that he did not repeat again, instead pulling out a lot more of the lighthearted ones as i kept clicking on him. of course there's also his "we were definitely fated to be together" line, which is really funny considering Yeah Man. i guess so !

11 ) i saw some memes on pinterest of a bdsm quiz i was curious about, so i took it that night with a vpn because it was banned over here, i think. i mailed my results to my yahoo email, but one term i'd never heard of before that night was a "rigger." it got noted in my head. saw that it meant "people who liked tying up others" (and that scored much higher on my stats than its counterpart, "rope bunny.") the next morning, i go into the game to find that they have released a card where asa is tied up.

12 ) i was playing nightbringer in front of e.p. once and i was farming as per usual when he suddenly asked "why'd the guy change?" (for the post battle illustration.) i was confused cause i wasn't really paying attention. i went "what do you mean? it's rng." and he said "really? i swear it's been the same guy like five times now." he thought asa was a chef.

13 ) i passively scrolled pinterest once to find a miraculous picture of a noose, wherein i got excited as per usual, and then scrolled one centimeter down to find an asa picture looking at me.

there's also a lot of other stuff involving the aforementioned visions, what happened the first time he visited me, etc. etc. — these don't feel as insane to me because my imagination is always a little out of my control and you also know i have the sense, which is kind of linked to my imagination but works very independent of anything i am or know. there's too many variables to say what happened.

but for the rest of the things listed? un fucking believable. this doesn't happen to me, obviously, i'd be hard pressed to think of any time the circumstances have aligned so perfectly. UNTIL NOW. I GUESS.

these are all i remembered off the top of my head, too. maybe there's more! i don't know yet. funniest set of coincidences to have ever happened to me, though. thank you for asking that i expound, isaac.