#guys i was gonna go get a haircut today before show because i swear it's the reason it keeps slipping off

[yagoodoobee]

working on a show [ASM] where i am doing a lot of movement on stage while needing to keep my headset in place. thoughts and opinions on this innovation?

[armyhome]

(Un) Perfects | Beomgyu

⇢ summary: Lilo is a complicated girl, but also is Beomgyu and the journey of both are a mess.

⇢ pairing: Lilo x Beomgyu.

⇢ a/n: hi my people, it's being a long time since lost in your love story right? well i was really trapped in this thing called adulthood, it's sucks i know, but for me is always better then anything i lived while i was a tennager, i'm working on that on therapy I promise, which is why this story came to me, I think, here you will find deep things about me, so please don't judge... too much... ok?I know we live in a plastic society today, where everyone is so perfect and lives those perfect lives, but in this story everyone is (un)perfect, like me, so I'm showing the most human that my perfectionism allowed me to be, hope you all undertand.

Chapter 1: Attention.

Far from the downtown of San Seul, in the small neighborhood called Madeline, two little girls meet each other at preschool in the year 2002, one was called Ariel like Little Mermaid and because of that all the little girls decided that they would use princess names as nicknames, but the other girl didn't look like any princess at that time. 

"You look just like Lilo…" Ariel says to her "From Lilo and Stitch, they have nicknames, but you get the face" 

"But she is not a princess…" Lilo says almost crying, what else could a five-year-old girl do? "Wouldn't it be as much cool…" So something, better saying someone moves inside the sandbox. 

"What you're talking about?" The boy with a cute accent emerges from the sand "Lilo is friends with an alien.." The sandboy makes Stich's noises "So much cooler than the others... By the way, my name is Hueningkai''

And for that day for the rest of their lives, no one on this earth would be capable of separating that trio, unless until high school.

2012

"Lilo, are you saying that you are not even considering falling in love?" Hueningkai asks while she was helping Ariel with a new haircut, bangs were difficult to do alone. 

"Didn't you see how my mom was when my dad died? She almost made me an orphan! I don't wanna love if it's gonna hurt me like that…" 

"Your father didn't die Lilo, he just thinks divorce was a better way…" Ariel says "And your mother is okay now with Mister Kang right? And you get a stepbrother Taehyun is cool, Soobin oppa says he is really cool, maybe if you open yourself…"All that conversation makes Lilo's blood boil.

"Stay still Ary, I will cut your hair right now" Lilo warned before closing the scissor, Ariel hold her breath, so the three of them look at their bangs in the mirror "We look absolutely cool" 

"What on earth did you guys think?" Lilo mom's almost screamed at the bedroom door "Lilo, your hair…why? When? Did you forget that you're gonna have dinner with your dad today? What are you gonna say to him? "   Lilo rolls her eyes.

"Tomorrow is our first day in high school, we just wanna look cool" Her mom blink slowly realizing how badly they cut their bangs, Ariel's hair was curly, on the moment that hair dried oh lord, she took a deep breath "And why I should go have dinner with a dead person?"

"Lilo you need to get over this, Henry is still alive and is your father…" Lilo lay on her bed in the most dramatic way.

"I prefer Mister Kang to be my father, Taehyun can't just share him with me?" Lilo's mother's sighed "I swear I'll be a good daughter to him…"

"Kids, I love to have you both here, but you need to go, Lilo needs to prepare herself to have dinner with her father, and your moms probably will need to find a hair stylist to fix the mess you guys did…" Lilo doesn't move a muscle when her friends live her house, "And hurry up Lilo, Henry said that he will be here in half-hour…"

So she does the reasonable thing, for a teenager, of course, put her pillow over her head and screams until she loses her breath.

lilo: [ he is taking me to juice y pies, I can't believe he wants to profane even my child memories argh]

ariel: [everything is gonna be okay lilo, maybe you enjoy]

kai: [you gonna have dinner where Soobin sunbaenim work if anything happens you can ask for help] 

We don't talk the whole way until the restaurant unless I don't say a thing, I don't wanna be here, I preferer to be dead! The car stopped at the red light.

"Do you think one day you will forgive me Lilo?" Henry asks me if he deserves it after cheating on my mom and leaving.

"You're not making this easy Henry, you don't know do a simple thing like respect my space," He sighs and I roll my eyes "I'm being honest here Henry, everything you are doing is only making me hate you more and more…" 

"I only ask for this night because it is important, and my right as your father…"

"OH, NOW YOU ARE MY FATHER HENRY? NOW? AFTER ALL, YOU DID?" He parks the car in front of Juice y Pies.

"You need to understand that my relationship with your mom is different from our father and daughter bond" I roll my eyes, he is just so stupid and selfish, I hate him so much that I would explode if don't get out of this car, I get inside the restaurant and as always the owner Mr. Park was receiving the night costumers. 

"Oh Miss Fisher, long time since I see you right? Tomorrow starts your freshman year right?" I smiled at him, Mr. Park was the only stable thing in San Seoul, the only thing that was there forever, and will be there until the end of the says "Oh Mr. Fisher, how long too,  good see you both on good terms, fathers and daughters should always get along, is for the best.."

"Henry is not my father anymore Mr. Park but it is really good to see you again…"

"I made a reservation, table seven, there's someone waiting already…" Henry says ignoring my sharp words, let's see how long he can do this.

Mr. Park guided us to silence the people at the table: my dad's new wife and probably her son, which couldn't be worse. 

"Where's Yeonjunie?"Henry asks Danielle.

"He is almost arriving, he get some things to solve on the buffet at the last minute"  Danielle answered, she get up and offered her hand to compliment me, I pretended I didn't see "Hum, this is Beomgyu my son best friend…" Oh so he can bring friends, I don't… I look at Henry like I could murder him with my eyes.

"When I think you are already a terrible person, you unlocked a whole new level Henry," I say.

"Yeonjun hyung said that you were dramatic, but I don't believe it was that much…" Beomgyu mumbles.

"If you have something to say, don't act like a coward, have the nerve to say it out loud, what is the purpose of that much muscle if it doesn't give you courage enough to sustain a simple thing as your words?" I look into his eyes, he gets up to face me.

"You don't know anything about my courage, or about Danielle and Yeonjun, so don't you dare say a thing… Maybe if you have a part-time job like us you would have a more realistic vision of the world" I smile sarcastically,

"Guess what Beomgyu I give zero fucks about your opinion, about Danielle and her son's opinion! I was obligated to be here, so guess what? I will be as much dramatic, crazy and any other misogynistic thing that you can say about me, cause guess what, I don't give a shit about what you think, but if you gonna say it anyway, you should say it out loud like you owned what you just say" The look on his eyes are pure hate, nice now I'm not the only uncomfortable here.

"If you don't behave this night, I will ask for shared custody Lilo," My dad warned I laugh.

"Try your best Henry, at my age, I can decide who I stay with," I look at him "If you make my mom feel bad another time for doing a thing like this, even if she says she will never talk to me again, I swear I will ask the judge a restrictive measure and you will not be able to get near me ever again…"

"How can you be so cruel to your own dad? He just wanna spend more time with you" Beomgyu says out loud this time.

"If you're sad for him, you can keep '' I say finally sitting. "Can we just finish this fast so I can go home? Tomorrow I have class, so be fast.."

"You're not the only one that has class tomorrow…" Beomgyu says smiling like a fool, lord I wanna punch him so much, break that perfect nose on his face "Lilo honbae…"

"Just over my dead body…" I say it. High school was my dream. It would be my golden years with my friends before we go to college. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You can't do this to me…" I say to Henry.

"Lilo, let's eat first and later we talk about this with calm," Henry was such a cynical person, he wanted to destroy everything good in my life just because my mom found a way to be happy without him. 

"I'm… I need to go to the bathroom" So I live the table, he will not ruin my high school, and I wouldn't let this happen, ever. So I feel someone hold me I look up and found Soobin's eyes.

"Go to the kitchen, I will make something good for you to eat" I nodded "You gonna be okay Lilo, we won't let these guys mess with you okay?" 

"Okay," I whisper.

"I'll be there in a minute, " Binnie says, going to the saloon. I look at the kitchen door, and I just can't face Soobinie right now without collapsing, so I live using the back door. 

Outside I feel I can breathe again, I look at the sky, just a feeling starts glowing because of how much light downtown propagates.

"You are the karaoke girl right?" A guy using a black leather jacket, he was so handsome that I wasn't able to structure a reasonable sentence "At the beach this summer you were singing, where was the song?" He sings the rhythm "You got me looking… How it was?"

"You got me looking for attention…?" I kinda sing and his smile became bigger "Sorry I don't remember you at Ariel's birthday party, you're her cousin?" He waves his head negatively. 

"I was just a waiter, me and my best friend, his parents have a company that organizes parties, that day two waiters get sick and we were the only thing left…"

"Oh, that makes sense…"

"You sing really well by the way…" I feel my face burning "Everything is okay? I mean you seem very upset minutes ago…"

"My dad obligates me to come here, only to say that I will study with the son of the woman he cheats on my mom…" His expression became serious like he was really listening to me "Henry knows how much I wait for high school, I need to be perfect you know cause after that I and my best friends will follow completely opposite ways, this should be our golden years… And now is ruined…" I look at him, he seems torn somehow "Sorry I'm just oversharing my problems with you when I don't even know your name…"

"Is Y...Jun! My name is Jun" He says and the way he says remembers me of when I first met Hueningkai.

"Are you Hawaian Jun?" His eyes became wide.

"You're the first that guess right…" I smile at him.

"Well, I think I may not be everybody" Jun's smile became bigger "Are you driving? I know I just met you but I would be really grateful if you help me to escape..."

"Only if you promise that you'll sing during our runway, I really like your voice…" He offers me a helmet, I never rode on a motorcycle, and this makes my heart go even faster.

"Deal!"   Jun took out his jacket and give it to me.

"So you don't get cold," I accept, my heart was beating so fast, was complete insanity just jumping on a stranger's back, but his perfume was so good that make all my survival instincts sleep for a while. 

"Lilo where are you?" I heard Soobin's voice.

"Now Jun, we need to go!" I hug his dorso and his driveway, and we stay in silence until he parks at Sunset Square, was close enough to my house so I could walk home from there "Thank you, so much Jun…" I start to take off his jacket.

"You don't wanna talk about what happened?" He asks getting closer, a stranger was more willing than anyone in my family. 

"I already overshare too much with you, I even already lie to you…" He looks confused I look at my feets "The one singing at the party was Ariel, I was just with the mic cause she was a bit nervous being on stage because of her family" So Jun laugh "I'm good at a lot of things, but singing is not one of those things, maybe one day…Thank you so much, one more time" So I fill my heart with courage, get on my tiptoe and give him a kiss on the chick "You really have me looking for your attention…" I whisper and just run. "SEE YOU HERE NEXT SUNDAY, 4 P.M, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!" I scream running without looking back, oh lord I lose my mind. 

"I'll be here!" I answer, OH MY GOD! I turned to see him one more time, Jun was already on his motorcycle but looking at me smiling "I'll be here" He said one more time, I ran all my way home.

When I got to my front door, mom ran in my direction and hugged me, with strength, she was crying and this broke my heart. I was as selfish as Henry.

"You run all the way home my love?" She asks I nodded if I say I take a drive with a complete stranger she probably would collapse "I'm sorry that I made you go when you don't want, is just Henry will always be your father, whether you like it or not…"

"Danielle's son could bring a friend, but Hueningkai and Ariel couldn't go with me, I was completely alone with all those strangers, Henry dares to put Danielle's son in my school, he knows how much I planned this year to be perfect, but he wanted I remind of him every single day…" Mom gets speechless. 

"My girls, come inside, are already late…" Mr.Kang says inside the house "Lilo, I did that chocolate candy that you love so much!"

"Mr. Kang, you should adopt me, you know that right?" I answer by making him laugh and mom smile. 

"I consider you my kid as much as Taehyun is, I don't need a piece of paper to tell this!" We get inside, and the first thing I do is hug him "Oh my little girl, you have a busy night, Taehyun call a feel hours ago, and he says that you can call him if you need anything…"

"I will send him a message, he probably studying this time, Law School is not easy" I make a spoon fool of brigadeiro, and for some damn reason that Beomgyu's words echoed in my mind "Mr. Kang, do you think I can have a volunteer job at your law office? I could help with the organization," Mom looks surprised and Mr. Kang gives me a big smile.

"I thought the plan was to live fully in your high school," Mom commented. 

"I plan to live fully my life" I put another spoon full of brigadeiro in my mouth "And this will help on my curriculum" 

"Let's think about this next semester okay? Once you adapt to your classes we definitely can find something for you there, Taehyun started as a volunteer as well" I smile at the possibility of just rubbing it in that idiot's face.

"Now when you finish I think you should go to bed, it is really late and you have class in the morning," Mom says and kisses the top of my head.

That night I dreamed about running away with Jun we were going so fast that I opened my arms and felt like I'm flying so another motorcycle get next to ours. I look at the pilot and was that idiot Beomgyu, he offered his hand to me, and I hug Jun with more strength. 

"You'll hurt yourself that way, you idiot!" I roll my eyes. 

"Why did you care?" And before Beomgyu could answer Henry shows up in front of Jun's motorcycle, Junie tries to stop but everything happens too fast, on the other minute I'm on my room floor.

Chapter 2: Ditto

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 9) - Inner Demons

Summary: The reader meets Gen for the first time while the boys are having a day together. But when they come home early and Jensen overhears the reader, a very big discussion about what they both expect out of their relationship has to happen...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Square: Skinny Dipping

Word Count: 5,100ish

Warnings: mature (language, skinny dipping, implied future smut, angst, self-doubt)

A/N: Please enjoy! Also written for @spnkinkbingo​

________

“No,” whined Zeppelin as Jensen carried him out of the bedroom for the third time that night. “Daddy, I want to sleep with you.”

“Zeppelin. You gotta be a big boy and go to sleep. It’s midnight and way, way past bedtime,” said Jensen. He started to cry loudly and Jensen set him down. “Do you want a time out? I’ll give you one first thing in the morning if you don’t behave.”

He ran over to you and grabbed your leg, burying his face in it. Jensen sighed, tired after a long day and you knew he needed some sleep. You squatted down and Zeppelin grabbed at you, shaking a bit. You frowned, Jensen catching it as you picked up the little boy. 

“He can stay,” you said. Jensen made a face but you carried him into the room, Jensen grumbling to himself. You let Zeppelin crawl into the middle and immediately grab his father when Jensen got under the covers. He was asleep quickly, Jensen kissing the top of his head. “He’s scared.”

“He had a tantrum. He’s four,” whispered Jensen. “He needs to sleep on his own or he gets dependent.”

“You’re his father. He’s already dependent,” you whispered. “He’s a little you.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means he missed his daddy and he has been the one telling his sisters for three weeks daddy’s coming home soon. I don’t care if he sleeps in our bed, Jensen. Sometimes he has to be a big boy but not tonight.”

“He was very...he’s very much me,” he said quietly, fixing the blankets over his son. “He’s in tune with other’s emotions.”

“I know,” you said. “He’s a sweet boy.”

“When I was a kid, around seven or so, my dad went out to LA for about two months for work. We didn’t have the money for him to fly back and forth so he drove out there. He would call every night but it was long distance and it was expensive back then so all I got to do was say hi to him really. Somewhere in the middle of the two months he drove back to visit for a weekend. I was so excited. So, so excited. I was gonna tell him all about school and my baseball games and the jumping contest my brother and I had on the swings. I was so pumped. He said he was gonna be there Saturday morning for breakfast. Well, I wake up, run downstairs, he’s not there. Lunch rolls around, he’s not there. Afternoon snack time rolls around…”

“He’s not there?” you asked, Jensen nodding. “What happened?”

“Never left LA. Got in a car accident. He was fine but this was the eighties and my mom didn’t get a phone call until the afternoon saying he wouldn’t be coming home. I thought a hundred million things in my head of why he wasn’t there. That achy pit in your stomach. When he finally came home a month later, I slept in their room, in their bed. That little achy feeling went away after that night. I know how much he’s like me,” he said, lightly running his fingers over Zeppelin’s head. “But I gave him that part of me too and I wish I hadn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s too little to worry about me.”

“He’s okay and he’s not gonna worry after tonight. But Jensen, there’s nothing wrong with him having that part of you. It’s a really good part, the part that loves the people he cares about. Right now he doesn’t understand it but someday he will and that’s going to make him a person people will be fortunate to have in their lives. That’s a great part of you he got.”

“Just have to go and make me feel better, don’t you,” he said softly. He closed his eyes and smiled. “Think I’m doing an okay job at this?”

“Yup,” you said. Zeppelin turned over in his sleep, smashing his face into your arm. 

“You care for them,” said Jensen. You nodded and he burrowed down into the sheets. “Because of me or your job?”

“It always helps the job,” you said. “When you nanny, you want the kids to feel comfortable with you and caring about them always makes that easier. But I don’t...I don’t like them because I decided I liked their dad, you know?”

“Why did you then?”

“People with money sometimes let their children get raised by that money and you can tell when it happens. But it’s so obvious that doesn’t happen with them. They have nice toys and clothes and things but they’re good and funny and smart and they could very easily be brats if you went the easy route but you didn’t and it just shows. Sure they’re kids and they can drive anyone to the brink of insanity at times, but they got big hearts, especially for dad. I just like them and seeing them grow into those people more every day.”

“Me too,” he said, Zeppelin rolling back, fisting his hands into Jensen’s shirt this time. He smiled and you leaned over, kissing him goodnight, pecking one on Zeppelin’s head. “Night.”

“Night Jensen.”

The next afternoon when you arrived at Jared’s house you weren’t sure what you were expecting. Jared and Jensen were off doing who knew what and you felt like you’d been set up on a playdate yourself. You’d dropped off the kids there more than once already and knew their kids but for some reason or other you’d yet to meet Gen. You swallowed as you followed the kids around the side of the house, the three of them taking off to go play with their friends on a swing set. You looked around and bit your bottom lip, fixing your bag over your shoulder.

“Y/N?” called a voice. You turned and saw a woman behind you, a bit sweaty in some workout clothes. “Hey. I’m Gen. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Thanks. You too,” you said. 

“Come on,” she said, waving you to follow her up some steps to a patio. “Tom! JJ!”

“We know!” they shouted back from the swings. She shook her head and sighed.

“Not that any of the little ones can get over to the pool anyways but I want to remind them to keep an eye on the younger ones when I’m inside,” she said, showing you to a patio door. You followed her inside, Gen walking into a kitchen and going straight to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of cold water. 

“They have hair like their dad,” you said.

“Yes, yes they do. Getting them to get a haircut is like herding cats,” she said. She gulped down her water and let out a deep breath. “Do you mind if I shower quick? Time got away from me.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you said. 

“There’s a bathroom right around the corner there. Feel free to take whatever from the kitchen if you want. I’ll be back in ten,” she said. 

“No problem,” you said. When she was upstairs you went back outside, leaving your bag in a patio chair. You went down the steps and watched the kids running around for a moment before exploring their backyard. “Here I thought your backyard was nice Ackles.”

“Y/N, will you play tag with us?” asked Arrow from over in the grass.

“How could I say no to a face like that?”

Fifteen minutes later you were warm and taking a break under the patio again out of the sun, the kids playing on the slide and swings now.

“Remember when we had endless energy like that?” asked Gen as the back door opened. 

“Barely,” you said, a margarita glass set down in front of you. “I see we’re going to be very good friends.”

“It’s so hot out today,” she said, setting a pitcher and another glass down on the table. She poured you a glass and then herself one before taking a seat beside you. “I bet the boys are out jet skiing.”

“They really are like a pair of children when you get them together,” you said.

“Yeah but it’s cute. Most people don’t ever get to have a best friend like that,” she said. “Sometimes they need their space from each other but Jared’s literally been counting down the days until Jensen gets back.”

“I don’t think Jensen will ever stay away that long again. He missed his family and friends. Home,” you said. 

“We’re glad to have him back. He’s been gone for a while. Even before you went to Canada,” she said.

“Were you good friends with...” you asked, Gen nodding. “I’m sorry.”

“It sucked. Still does,” she said. “When the boys were off, we could hang out. We got very close. After the accident I was the one taking care of the kids, helping his parents and family with their day to day. Jared focused more on Jensen, helping him physically get back to normal and then mentally. But you know how he was when you met him.”

“I know a lot of work went into helping him get there. I’m very grateful he had you guys,” you said.

“Listen...I’m hoping we can be good friends too. It was different for me and Dee. We both were dating the boys around the same time, got married around the same time. I know we don’t have that and...I just hope we can have that relationship still.”

“Me too. I know we’re probably gonna be seeing you guys a lot now that neither of them are working,” you said.

“Probably most everyday,” she said. “They’re like twins separated at birth or something I swear.”

“Has Jensen always been a bit quiet?” you asked.

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen that boy drunk off his ass and being a troublemaker but he’s always been that way. Maybe it’s why he and Jared fit. They’re protective of each other in different ways. Jared’s the loud one out of the two of them, always has been and Jensen, even if he is your best fucking friend, sometimes he’s a little bit quiet.”

“I figured as much. He’s just…”

“Gentle,” she said, a smile coming to your face. “You two are pretty serious, huh.”

“Maybe.”

“It’s been five months. I’d say it’s serious. You move in yet?”

“Technically I’ve always been moved in,” you said. She laughed and took a sip of her drink. “Yeah. We’ve gotten to the sharing a room stage very recently.”

“You must be very special then,” she said. “He was never gonna fall in love ever again. Told Jared and me himself. Now he’s as lovestruck as the first time around.”

“I’m not expecting…” you said, sipping on your drink. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Like I said, we can be friends without the boys,” she said. “What aren’t you expecting?”

“This,” you said with a shrug. “Marriage. Kids of my own. I don’t know where it goes with Jensen.”

“You should start having those talks with him,” she said, your head shaking. “You have to, just so you’re on the same page.”

“I don’t even know if we’re reading the same book,” you said. She nodded and you slumped back into your seat. “I know I love him and that he loves me. But I don’t know if that’s enough.”

“A friend once told me that’s all you need,” said Jensen behind you. You turned around and Jensen was standing there, a sad smile on his face. “We wanted to come hang out with you guys. Y/N?”

You got a smile from Gen as you followed Jensen inside, Jared slipping past and out back. You crossed your arms and looked down, Jensen stepping close to you, large hands resting on your arms.

“Why don’t you think it’s enough?” he asked quietly.

“It is. Gen and I were just shooting the shit,” you said, forcing your gaze up. He slid his hand down and took one of yours, pulling you over to a quiet sitting room. He sat down on a day bed, you going with him. 

“Honey. Tell me the truth.” He ran his thumb over the back of your hand as you crossed your legs. “Did I do something?”

“No. You’re perfect,” you said, glancing down to your lap. “All I was saying was...I don’t know where you stand on some things.”

“Like what?” he asked, still smiling softly, hiding all of the nerves underneath it.

“Kids. Marriage. The fact your family has never once met me or knows I exist. Am I just gonna be the nanny girlfriend or is there something more? I love you. I fucking love and I don’t need or want...I just want to know if you’re open to those things.”

“I don’t know,” he said. You nodded and moved your hand back into your lap, Jensen letting go of it. “Is that a deal breaker?”

“No,” you said with a shake of your head. “Like I said, we were shooting the shit.”

You were both quiet before you stood, Jensen grabbing your hand. He pulled you back to sit, plopping you straight down in his lap before kissing you.

“Okay I do know but the answers fucking scare me,” he said. “I said I was gonna stop being scared when it came to you.”

“Jensen, you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I would have more kids if it were with the right person. Preferably sooner than later but yes. Yes, I would marry again. Yes, I would introduce her to my family and yes they do know about her. Not as much as I’d like but they do know her. And lastly yes, I am open to more than just the nanny girlfriend, so much fucking more. All of it more. But that scares me that almost a year later here I am, open to all of those things, wanting those things with you when losing Dee hurt so much. It’s not fair to you that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be, simple and normal and just the fun parts. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking you to stop loving her. God if you ever did, I don’t think you’d be the man I love. I just wanted to know if there’s room for a future in there maybe,” you said.

“You kinda got in there all on your own and I don’t want you to ever come out,” he said. 

“Ever?” you breathed out. “Cause that implies-”

“If someone’s gonna be that second person for me, I think…” he said, looking down. You rested your forehead against his, Jensen taking a deep breath. “I know you won’t wait for me forever to get my shit together.”

“Well, forever’s a long time. I can offer a few years at least?” you asked, Jensen laughing dryly. “What?”

“I don’t deserve a few years. Your emotions aren’t a toy to play with.”

“Yours aren’t something to drag along when they’re not ready.”

“See? You do that shit. You always do that fucking shit,” he said, his voice a few octaves higher. You wrapped him up in a hug, feeling a few drops of wetness hit your cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“For crying? Jesus Jens, it’s okay,” you said. “I promise it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I keep tossing you around like you don’t have feelings too, like this isn’t hard for you too. It’s always me and my fucking problems with just…”

“Just what honey,” you said, Jensen holding onto you tightly, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?” you said, carding your fingers through his hair.

“I don’t want this to go away,” he mumbled out. “This is it and I feel like I’m gonna explode and-”

“Shush,” you said, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing his whole body as much as you could. He stilled briefly and calmed down some, sniffling to himself before you released to a gentler hold on him. “Just the anxiety talking.”

“I love you,” he said, lifting his head up, looking you straight on. “I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you and do everything with you. I’ve known those things for a very long time. Longer than you have and before you even thought of them as questions. I want all that and you’re gonna get stuck with me, with this, with the never ending baggage, with the baggage you haven’t even seen yet. All your life is gonna be is taking care of my ass and you getting hurt because of it. Is that what you want? Is it? Because I want so much fucking more for you than me.”

“Was that your proposal speech?” you asked calmly. He blinked a few times and narrowed his eyes.

“What? Y/N I-”

“Well you said you want to marry me and yeah, I fucking want to do that with you too so was that your speech?”

“What?” he asked so innocently you smiled. “I don’t…”

“I happen to like taking care of your ass. So. You want me gone, I’m gone. You want me to stay, I’m staying forever. What’s it gonna be?” you asked.

“Stay,” he said quietly with a nod. “Please don’t go away from us.”

“Okay,” you said. He leaned forward and kissed you, sniffling some more when he broke off. “Are you…”

“I can’t believe I just asked that while I’m covered in tears and snot,” he said. A box of tissues suddenly flung itself through the doorway, landing near your feet. You stared down at it and started to laugh, Jensen chuckling while you picked it up. “I’m never living that down.”

“Who gives a fuck,” you said. You took out a tissue and wiped off his face and eyes, having him blow his nose a few times. “That’s really gross.”

“I know.”

“Must be how you know it’s meant to be,” you said, wiping your hand off. 

“Stay forever?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Yeah that sounds good.”

“Me too,” he said. He pulled you into a hug and you held him tight, the door sneakily shutting on the two of you when it started to pour outside and you heard the backdoor. “I bet that’s how you imagined that going.”

“I never thought it would happen,” you said. “Not when I first came here. Love’s for other people. Normal people with normal families.”

“Fuck normal,” he said and you laughed. You picked up a clean tissue and licked it, wiping off a dried tear streak on his cheek. “I feel good.”

“We’re gonna work on that bottling shit up stuff, okay?” you said.

“Maybe you’ll have more success than Dee did,” he chuckled. 

“I’ll just have to build off what she started,” you said. He nodded and cupped your cheek as you finished cleaning him off. “There, all better.”

“Guess you’re out of a nanny job,” he said.

“Oh such a shame,” you said. “I’ve been putting my paychecks for the last while to a separate account.”

“I did notice that,” he said. “Saving for something?”

“Wanted to give it back to you.”

“Honeymoon fund instead?”

“Okay, now we’re talking,” you said with a laugh.

“You never did tell me how much your book deal got you.”

“I signed a multi-year deal. They think there’s great potential for it to be one of those series every kid reads. One million for around twenty books?”

“Fuck. You should be my agent if you can negotiate like that,” he said.

“I’m still gonna take care of them like I have been,” you said. 

“I know. It’s probably going to be a million times harder now actually,” he said. You nodded and he smiled. “You love them.”

“Yes but I don’t know how to be a parent.”

“Just do what you’ve been doing and it’ll be fine,” he said. “It’ll change but it’ll be good.”

“Not really how I was expecting today to go,” you said. 

“Me either. I had hoped for that to be a tad more romantic,” he said. You gave him a kiss and hug, Jensen returning it. “You don’t care.”

“Nah,” you said. “Just care about you. Everything else, I’m good.”

“Want to go share the news with our eavesdropper?” he asked. You helped him up to his feet and took his hand, walking out of the room, Jared and Gen suspiciously wiping down their kitchen counter. “Or should I say eavesdroppers.”

“We were concerned and I swear we left after Jared tossed the tissues in,” said Gen. Jared shook his head and pointed at her. “I swear he did it.”

“Guess you guys heard then,” said Jensen, giving you a smile. “We’re gonna give it a shot.”

“You okay?” asked Jared. Jensen nodded and squeezed your hand. “You sure?”

“I know what I want,” said Jensen. “I’ve known for a long time. Finally got over being scared is all.”

“She wasn’t gonna hurt you,” said Jared with a smile.

“I know. It was a different fear,” he said. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said. “Promise.”

“You better not, sweetheart.”

It was dark by the time the storms had passed, all three kids going down easy after spending most of the day running around the Padalecki house. You sat on the balcony off of Jensen’s bedroom in the oversized lounge chair, Jensen sat on the other side of the small side table your drink rested on.

“I’ve never been on a boat before,” you said, staring up at the dark night sky, the only light coming from a few string ones Jensen had turned on.

“Never?” asked Jensen. “Better wear your life jacket tomorrow then.”

“You better wear your life jacket,” you said. “We both know I’m a better swimmer than you.”

“You’re a better swimmer than me? Me?” he chuckled. “No way.”

“Put your money where your mouth is. Five bucks says I’m a better swimmer,” you said. He waved the way towards the door and you stood up, walking downstairs and outside.

“Uh, you missing something?” he chuckled. You smirked and pulled off your shirt and undid your jeans, shimming out of them and leaving them by the patio. “You really think…” 

“I really think what?” you said, tossing your bra at him, leaving your underwear behind. You jumped in and swam out to the deep end. “You’re already losing Jensen.”

“Losing my ass,” he said, taking off his shirt and jeans, nearly tripping as he hopped out of his boxer briefs. He jumped in nearby and swam over to you, dunking his head under briefly. “I could get used to this look.”

“Nothing you’ve not seen before.”

“Never seen my fiance naked before,” he grinned. You rolled your eyes but swam over and gave him a kiss. “I knew you had a thing for dorks you know.”

“Did you now?”

“Told me yourself. Not a fan of cocky guys I recall.”

“Well...a little cock is okay. Highly recommended in fact,” you said. 

“You are such a loser,” he laughed.

“I must have learned it from you.” You giggled and swam back to the shallow end, Jensen lazily chasing after. “I’ve never skinny dipped until just now actually.”

“Got anything on your bucket list you want to try out?” he asked. You shrugged and took a seat on a step, Jensen settling in next to you. “Naked trounce on the trampoline?”

“Maybe another time,” you said. You leaned back and looked up at the dark sky once more. He reached over and held your hand in the water, playing with it quietly. “Skydiving would be cool. Space would be cool.”

“One of those is a lot more feasible than the other. I noticed up in Canada where we had more stars at night you really like looking at them.”

“Did it a lot as a kid. Kinda always have,” you said. “I like space as much as the next gal but it’s just pretty, you know? You’re one little speck out in all of those stars. It’s all so freaking complex but you can kinda look up at them and it’s just so simple too.”

“Yeah,” he said, toying with a strand of hair floating in the water. “I get that.”

You turned and found him staring at you, a smile on his lips. 

“We could go camping sometime, see all the stars there are up there if you’d like,” he said.

“We don’t have to do that,” you said. 

“Why?” he asked quietly. “I’m curious is all. It seems like something you’d really enjoy seeing.”

“What purpose does it serve though? It’s not something fun for the kids to experience,” you said. “It’s a waste of money.”

“It doesn’t have to have a purpose. It’s for you, for us. A night away where you get to see something most people don’t ever get a chance. That’s the only purpose,” he said. “Camping’s about the cheapest thing you can do. Don’t worry about the money. You don’t have to worry about that ever again.”

“I just don’t want to go camping,” you said. You looked down and swallowed. “I used to go camping with my dad a lot.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do that to me,” you said. “I just...I don’t think I ever want to go again.”

“Okay. Would you go camping with me sometime?” he asked. 

“Jensen-”

“Just me. No body else. I won’t even touch you except to cuddle,” he said. You nodded and he smiled. “Thank you. It won’t be scary this time. I promise.”

“Is your dad nice?” you asked. He leaned back against his elbows and nodded. “Does he know about me?”

“My parents know I have a girlfriend. My mom knows I was getting pretty serious about you,” he said. 

“Do they know I was the nanny? Or how old I am?”

“No. My siblings do but not my parents,” he said. You sat up and wrapped your arms around yourself in the warm night air. “I’m not embarrassed of you Y/N. I think that’s a conversation better had in person is all.”

“You haven’t told them because you think they’ll have a problem with it,” you said. 

“Not as much problem as when I say I’m not having a prenup,” he said. You turned your head and saw him smiling back. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t trust you completely.”

“Jensen I don’t want to cause a problem,” you said. He shook his head and you sighed. “I know how close you are with them and you haven’t gotten to see them since Christmas. I know exactly what they’re gonna think of me when they hear about the former nanny.”

“You don’t seem to understand yet that you? Nobody is more important than you and those three in there. If they can’t accept you then screw ‘em.”

“Jensen.”

“I’m not worried and you know why? I love you and you love me. I know they love me a whole lot too so you’re on the same side.”

“You’re a bad liar,” you said. He sat up and sighed. “Jens-”

“I don’t know how they’ll act. But you deserve a chance and that’s what I expect out of them. I want them to love you too but at a minimum you’ll have their respect.”

You nodded and sunk down in the warm water, Jensen sliding over and taking a seat on your lap, tossing his arms around your shoulders. 

“You still talk to Dee’s parents right?” you asked. He nodded and wrapped his legs loosely around your waist. “Do they…”

“No,” he said quietly. “They deserve for that to be an in person conversation too. They’re coming up soon for JJ’s birthday soon. I figured I’d tell them then.”

“I’m glad you still talk to them,” you said. “They still see you guys.”

“Christmas was hard last year. I’m not sure which one of us got it worse,” he said. 

“I’d like to meet them if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I’m not sure how they’ll react honestly.”

“I’d still like to,” you said, stepping out into the water with him, Jensen hanging off of you. “If only you were this light normally I’d carry you around all day.”

“Didn’t we agree a long time ago you were the badass princess after all,” he said, bumping his nose against yours. 

“Here I thought you’d be taller,” you teased, quickly kissing him.

“Little shit,” he grinned. He nuzzled your cheek and you let out a deep breath. “Don’t worry about them.”

“At least we don’t have to go through this on my side,” you said.

“Can I ask one thing of you?”

“What?”

“Ray, your mom’s boyfriend, did things end badly between the two of you or you just drift apart? You said you left when you finished high school.”

“I stopped talking to him awhile ago. I moved out at 18 when I got my first nanny job. He was dating his wife Sarah by then. I’d come over for dinner every few months for a few years. By the time I was twenty one they were married with two kids. I didn’t go one time and kept putting it off and Ray told me it was okay if I didn’t want to see him anymore. I could call him if I ever needed him, that sort of thing. I haven’t spoken to him in nine years. But that’s not asking something of me, is it.”

“Can we consider inviting him to the wedding?”

“Been engaged eight hours and already planning?” you asked. 

“I don’t know him but he had a part in raising you. Just consider it is all I ask. And wedding? Those things take fucking forever to plan, trust me.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said, spinning him around in the water. “Are they really that complicated to put together?”

“Nah. Don’t go bridezilla on me is all,” he said. 

“Total diva over here,” you said, feeling the edge of the shallow end start to drop off with your foot. You spun around one more time before you had to set him down, Jensen taking the chance to pick you up and toss you out of of the water. “Jensen! I’m naked!”

“I know. It’s awesome,” he said, swimming out and kissing your cheek. “Wanna race?”

“Winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser when we head upstairs?” you grinned.

“Oh, you’re so on.”

______

A/N: Read Part 10 here!

[sweetaesuga]

in your eyes | m

pairing: jungkook x female reader!

genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, fratboy jk! ex-fuckboy jk! bookworm reader! friends to lovers!

warnings: language, insecurity, drinking, dom jungkook! fingering in public, exhibitionism, female masturbation, grinding, oral (m), dirty talk, light choking, degrading (slut/whore), squirting, creampie, unprotected sex (both are clean but stay safe), bathroom sex, riding, pinning.

word count: 10.6k+

synopsis: jungkook always sees you like the only girl in the world, and you just see him as a fuckboy. OR jungkook just wants a chance🥺

↳ a/n: first time i ever write a fic or smut please enjoy🤧 

You were only sixteen when you met him. He stepped into the classroom in all dark baggy clothes in an uneasy walk. At first glance you would of thought he was a timid person. Wrong, under all of that bullshit you see an egoistic and self-assured asshole that you're somehow happy to call your friend. You even learned that it was facade. Jungkook was a boy with a good heart who always remained loyal to all of his friends.

Jungkook just turned seventeen when he met you, noticing you straight away when you had a nice sense of fashion. You always had on an accessory that matched with the color of your shirt or jeans. You also always wore a bit of bright colors in your outfits. The bright unique makeup is what caught his attention too. He was proud to call you his friend.

When you both happily entered the same college along with your best friend Hayoon, everything changed. He began hanging out with a new group of friends, they were all older than them and deeply influenced him. He joined a fraternity then and began spending less time with you. He only came over to study or celebrate your birthday. His busyness merely reminded you how he preferred to spend his time hooking up with random girls every week rather than play board games with you or rant to him about your new book you were reading.

You don't exactly remember when he started but you do remember all the girls that talked about how amazing he was in bed which solely added more uncertainty on you. You even walked in on him and a freshman girl going at it in one of the sorority’s room at a party you were both attending.

The memory of when he started crushing on you was foggy to you but he always remembered it in a flash. It was when he had a taekwondo match, where circumstantially Jungkook's girlfriend, who wasn't really his girlfriend, at the time couldn't make it. His hopes were put down by the thought of someone not supporting him, since he always tried his best with his own cheerleader being there.

In the middle of the match, his eyes scanned the bleachers, wishing for someone to be there. His wishes were granted as he saw you there. Standing awkwardly, you gave him a little wave with a smile. His chest heaved in glee, sending you a quick smile before he returned to his match.

The sound of you screaming his name when he won, put a enormous smile on his face. Jungkook watched you run down the bleachers, apologizing to all the people you were bumping through. You leaped into his arms easily.

Your next words to him were a blur since Jungkook was too focused on just having you in his arms. He was grinning happily at you, hair sticking to his forehead. His heart heaved with warmth as you hugged him tightly.

He was twenty-one and you were twenty when he realized he had a crush on you.

You were seventeen when you realized you liked him.

But you were nineteen when you realized you would never be good enough for him.

"He then had the audacity to ask me if I slept with anyone else! The nerve of that guy," you felt like your ear was going to bleed out just by listening to your best friend blabber about her ex-boyfriend.

"Why don't you just stop talking to him? I don't know...block his number or something?" you suggested, very uninterested in this conversation about her ex-boyfriend contacting her. She could simply just block him out her life and be done with him. 

You stared at the worn out rubber of the tip of your black converse. She popped the gum in her mouth, the sound became annoying to you. Hayoon squinted her eyes at you, trying to find something to say to argue back to you. She instead changed the subject. "Where were you on Saturday?"

"Studying like the rest of the students here," you moved to rest your weight onto your right leg. "I just can't seem to understand how finals are coming up and some people are out here partying? The library was packed when I got there."

"Yeah well I wouldn't know because I didn't go," she grinned at you. "Instead I went to a party because I'm not a loser like you!" Hayoon giggled to herself and you rolled your eyes. "Also," she popped the gum loudly. "Jungkook was asking for you. Calling for his dream girl. . .or something like that—I don't know can't remember—too drunk you know?"

Your ears perked up to that. "Really?" you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear that got in the way and leaned forward. "Did you remember why he was looking for me?"

Hayoon grinned again. "Even if I do know why would you care? Don't you hate him or something?" she smiled evilly and threw her head back.

You froze and leaned back to your seat. You know what she was trying to do and it was never going to happen.

You were never going to give Jeon Jungkook a chance.

Jungkook stumbled into the library, eyes searching for you immediately. There was nearly a crowd of students that were preparing for finals. "Hey have you guys seen Y/N?" he asked a study group. A girl in your class answered him, telling him that you were somewhere by the windows.

Of course you were, he thought to himself. You would be seated at your usual spot. He walked over to the windows and spotted you straight away. Watching your figure become closer as he walked further, he took the sandwich out of his bag. "Hey Y/N!" you already knew that voice. You looked up at Jungkook. As usual he looked drop-dead gorgeous. He wore his usual dark baggy outfit, a black cargo jogger and a much darker hoodie with some black combat boots. He was showing off his helix piercing and his fresh new haircut.

"Nice haircut," you referred to his undercut and the fact that he was showing forehead. "Seems like you spent a lot of time on it."

"Yeah! Just for you," he smiled, his cheeks being pushed up. You let out a heavy sigh, clearly not in the mood for his flirtatiousness. "Got you a sandwich, by the way," he laid it in front of you.

You let out a small smile and took it from him, trying not to show how your mouth got watery so quickly. "Thanks, you didn't have to though," he shook his head.

"I don't want you starving to death," he sat down next to you, shoulder pressing against yours. "What are you studying for?" his nose nuzzled your ear. You rolled your eyes and shoved him away, ignoring the goosebumps his warm breath caused.

"Just getting my notes ready. Wanna highlight or color code it but feel like it's going to fuck up everything. Also don't wanna be those fucking girls that always have to make their fucking notes pretty. Also, do I look tired?" he studied your face for any features that made you seem exhausted. "I was up till two in morning watching these two Indian guys build a pool."

His eyes lit up. "Oh my god, I come across from those too."

"I know they came up all over my fucking Youtube recommendations. I got sucked into binge watching them. It makes me feel fucking lazy to be honest, the amount of fucking water they carry back and forth. I wouldn’t be able to do that.”

Jungkook snickered and made a note of how much you swore. "I need to make a swear jar for you. You swear too much."

"Not even," you laughed back at him and nudged his shoulder. "I'm just a little frustrated and stressed right now," his gaze dropped on the purple pins in your hair, holding each side of your hair. "I called my mom and she said to not stress over this, but you know how I get," you frowned and turned to him. He finally took in your appearance. Your bright purple eyeshadow with purple gems adorning the top of it. You wore a purple flare pants and a white long sleeved, deep v-line crop top. His eyes dropped down to your cleavage, trying to see if you had a bra on.

"Holy shit Y/N!" the students around him shushed him. He burned up and muttered a sorry to them, you giggled at how embarrassed he looked. "You look amazing. What's the special occasion?"

"Nothing," you shook your head, a smile still on your face. "Can't I dress up once in awhile?" Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, knowing that you normally only wear outfits like this when they’re new or it’s the first week of school. "Okay," you dragged your word out. "I got this outfit last week and really wanted to use it today. It's cute right?"

"Yeah, really cute," he toyed with your hair pins, messing up your hair.

Neglecting his comment, you carried on. "I even got up in early in the morning to do my makeup. If I'm gonna show up wearing a new outfit, I might as well have a cute ass face to go with it," you frowned when you remembered something. "And I realized I don't have different color hair pins, they're all purple so thank fuck the fucking pants are purple."

"Well I think you look very cute, Y/N. Boop!" he poked your nose gently. You swatted his hand away, warning him to stop but all you're given is a large bunny smile. "Come on, eat your sandwich. I didn't just come all the way over here searching for you just to talk to you."

"Actually you did bitch."

"Oof, swear jar," he rested his palm out in front you. You took a bite out of the sandwich, placing a quarter on his palm. "No a dollar, Y/N."

"No! What the fuck—wait!" he held out his palm again. "That's not fucki—hold up, you can't just say a dollar," you whined and grabbed your bag. "I don't have money growing out of my ass."

"I don't know that yet. I'm gonna have to check to make sure," you threw a dollar at him. He laughed and picked it up.

"I know your kind," you spatted at him and tossed the other two dollars at him which he easily caught. "Wanna drain my f-freaking bank account."

"Oh come on, I want you to be my sugar mama," he jested, leaning forward to give you a huge smug.

"Sucks to be you actually. I'm looking to be a sugar baby, not a sugar mama," you glanced over your shoulder towards him. His laugh echoed and you watched as students gave him a dirty look from how loud it was.

"Of course. You're the brokest bitch in the city no one actually wants you to be their sugar mama," you gasped at his words.

"Am not!"

"Are so!" you both laughed at each other. His hand searched for yours underneath the table. He must've noticed how tensed up you had gotten when he found it, managing to wrap your smaller fingers into his. "I've been meaning to talk to you by the way."

You groaned, knowing where this will be going. "Jungkook, stop I'm not in the mood," you caught a quick glimpse of the time. "Look, I have to go, my bus will be coming soon." You don't let him mention anything else. Bolting out of the library, you leave a crestfallen Jungkook behind.

He shook his head and took the half eaten sandwich you also left behind. He trailed behind you, backpack threatening to fall down his arm. You proceeded to walk to the bus stop, Jungkook just close behind. "Didn't see you at the party on Saturday?" the voice came from behind you. You opt to ignore it but by the sound of his voice it was easy to tell that he has been dying to ask this question. When you didn't answer him, he tried again. "Seriously where were you on Saturday?"

You sunk down on the bench. "None of your business."

"Well, I was kind of worried about you. I thought you were going to be there so that's why I came," he took a seat right besides you. "Once I saw you weren't there, I left."

"I was at the library studying for finals," you weren't sure why you were telling him this.  After his little confession your heart felt weird. If you hadn't told him though, he probably would've guessed it. Still, he needed confirmation.

"What? Why didn't you tell me? We could’ve studied together!" he complained, nudging his shoulder with yours.

"Jungkook stop, I know what you're doing," you glared at him, wanting to get away. He frowned and reached over to hold you. "I already told you no," you hissed, disregarding the way his eyes appeared sunken at your response.

"Why not? I already told you, I'm not messing around anymore. I genuinely want to settle down with someone," he stared into your eyes with such intensity you felt like your brain was going to explode. Your ears took in his words slowly. "I want to be with you."

"Jungkook, please—"

"Come on, one date. I swear to god I've changed," he ranted. He's always been very keen on having a chance with you, but with all those girls that he used to take home you felt otherwise. You would listen to the girls on how good Jungkook was. How good he looked at night in the dark moonlight. How he would manhandle them in random places. How his muscles would appear every time he flexed them. How those hips of his were a miracle. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't ever want to see him that way too.

"I'm flattered, I really am—I just really don't want to be with someone like you. I'm sorry," you apologized, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

He blinked then squinted his eyes at you. "What do you mean someone like me?" He sounded somewhat offended at your words.

"You used to fuck around!" you fumed and threw your hands up. The bus was coming down the road towards the two of you. "I don't like that."

"Why not?" He's way too stubborn to let you go, you forgot.

"Because...I just don't okay? Lets leave it there," you stood up and walked over to the bus once it opened its doors. He followed close behind. Before you can enter your dollar into the machine, he does it for you.

The bus driver smiled at him while you glared at him. You walked to the back of the bus, smiling to all the other passengers but secretly upset. Jungkook still followed you like a lost puppy. You slid down in the seat. Your left arm feeling the side of the bus once you properly sat down. "Here, I'll pay you back," you hold out the dollar bill but he sat still in his seat.

"Well shit, sugar mama not right now," You sighed and put it back in your bag. You heard him snort.

"Come on, tell me why you won't give me a chance and I'll leave you alone," he offered. He held your eyes for a moment before you let out a breath of air and looked away.

If he’ll leave you alone, then you must have to say why you won’t grant him a chance with you, a chance for him to become your boyfriend.

"I'm too insecure for you," he opened his mouth but you shushed him. "I'm not...how do I put this? I'm not like them?" you questioned and glanced over at him. He had a look of worry washed all over his face. "The girls that you were with are those who are all popular, party all day, and are very attractive. They all do casual sex, and I don't want be that type of person, I want something serious. Like you have dated Soojin! She's really pretty, makes me gay even," you chuckled at yourself. "That's not the point though. If I'm with you, all I could ever think about is the girls you were with and how different I am from them. I just can't be with someone when all I'll ever think about are my insecurities with them. So how could I possibly ever be good enough for you?" you don't look at him after that.

He sighed and gripped your small hand into his. You almost cringed when you remembered how sweaty your hands were. "That's why I'm after you though. You're not like them. I wanted a change. You are good enough, you'll always be good enough for me. Hell, I feel like I’m not good enough for you. And I really don't care if you're any of that other stuff. I still want to have a shot with you." you don't realize how long you both were holding eye contact. The two of you don't look away from each other however. You don’t even comprehend how close you two have gotten. He reached over to push back a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your breath hitched.

"I don't know Jungkook, I'm just really unsure," you admitted and leaned back in your seat to create some distance between you two. "My mind isn't clear right now but I highly doubt I would want to give you a chance."

"Really? You don't want me?" he bit his lip and glanced over at you. "How can I change your mind?" you stopped functioning when he reached over to press up against your thigh. His fingers travelled over to your inner thigh. He kept rubbing circles around there for a few minutes, hand drawing closer each time. Your cheeks grew crimson once you wrapped your mind around on how wet you become so quickly, and he barely even touched you what an embarrassment.

You were only getting aroused quickly because of how long your dry spell was. You haven’t being touched in so long that you craved it so much, no matter who it was with.

"What are you doing?" you hated how you felt so hot under his eyes at the moment. He brushed you aside until you repeated your question again.

"Nothing," his lips curved upwards. He faced forward, ignoring the fact that his hand was practically between your legs.

"Jungkook, stop that!" you hissed and whacked his hand away. He withdrew his hand from your inner thigh but still kept it at the top of your thigh. His thumb gently tracing circles into your skin.

"Bet you're fucking wet under that," he commented. You caught his stare, watching his eyes fixed on your cleavage. A smile forms across his face when he takes notice of how you're rubbing your thighs together. "Don't be scared, I'll go easy on you. You wearing those pink panties that I love on you?"

You knew what he was referring to. Leaving your laundry on your bed wasn't a good idea especially when an excited Jungkook was coming over to watch a new episode of You, but he didn't give you time to pick it up so your baby pink lace underwear was out on the sheets. "Shut up. I'm not going to let you do shit," you furiously crossed your arms over your chest. His eyes flickered back down to your breasts that were shoved up into a tighter position.

"Really? You say that but you're on the verge of asking me to touch you. I know it, Y/N," you bit your lip hard to avoid saying something. You heard him laugh. "It's okay, no one will notice, if you're a good slut and keep your mouth shut." Your eyes widened at his words.

You’ve never been called a degrading name in bed. With the two boyfriends you’ve been with, they always called you loving names that had gotten boring quick as well as their vanilla sex. Yet somehow it stirred you up at the thought of being called a slut, especially Jungkook calling you that.

But it was almost like a completely different Jungkook had surfaced. You knew he was some sort of sex god but didn't expect him to have such a dirty mouth. You decided to test the waters. A little fun wouldn’t hurt.

You spread your legs a little wider, inviting him to get closer. He stared into your eyes as you stared down at his hand. "Unbutton your pants," he demanded. Your eyes expanded even more at his words. You were just thinking of getting him eager not to do something here.

You looked around to see if anyone could see or hear you two but they were all facing forward and minding their own business. Your hands went to unbutton your pants, pushing your zipper down. "Open your legs," you did as you were told. "Wider, wider," your right leg rested on top of his muscular thigh. "You wet enough?" he asked, reaching down to your core. You shivered when his hand entered your underwear. He sinks his two fingers in and you whined. He took his fingers out, gazing on the glistening wetness on it.

"Dirty fucking slut," he murmured and dig his fingers back into you. You gripped his wrist harshly but encouraged him to add more fingers. He complied and proceeded to finger you in the back of the bus. "Never thought I would finger the girl of my dreams in the back of the bus," he chuckled as he heard you calling out his name. "You gotta be quiet if you don't wanna get caught." he teased softly. He pounded his fingers into you faster. His eyes laying upon your furrowed eyebrows and bitten lip. You began to nudge into his fingers, meeting him halfway with the movement of your hips. Your grip on his wrist tightened as he touched your clit with the tip of his finger. He snorted and proceeded to move against you, ignoring his hardness that was forming in his pants. You threw your head back and stared up at the ceiling. You bit your lip hard, almost drawing blood.

Jungkook clutched your knee, forcing you to open wider. You raked over the passengers in the seat, who are still unaware of you getting fingered at the back of the bus. You moaned into his hoodie. You let go of his wrist to hold his bicep. He looked down at you. He reached over to cup your face, bringing your lips to meet his. You’re taken back a little but nonetheless you open your mouth to tempt him to slid his mouth in. He fulfilled your craving. The two of you looked like random teenagers making out in the back but what they couldn't see was his fingers stuck up your wet core.

"Jesus fucking Christ," you said under your breath, pulling away from his redden lips. His fingers pounded brutally into you. He showed no sign of slowing down.

"You make a fucking noise and I swear to god I will take you on this bus full of people. I don't give a fuck, Y/N," your pussy quenched around him at that. Your wetness glimmered on his fingers.

"Oh my god, Jungkook, oh my god," you moaned against his neck. Hiding your face from him, you picked up the pace of your hips. "Uh—fuck, holy shit do that again," you referred to him touching your clit. He does that again. "Oh fuck," you whimpered when you felt an uneasy feeling building up within you. "I'm gonna fucking cum."

"Yeah? That fucking early? I knew your little pussy wouldn't be able to take it," Jungkook's lips formed a smirk. "And this is just with my fingers babe. Bet you can't handle my dick," you ignored him. You sobbed into his neck and leaned up to kiss him in efforts to silence your moans, cumming hard all over his fingers. It takes two minutes before you released Jungkook from the kiss. He drew his hand away from your skirt and made sure you were holding eye contact with him when he cleaned his fingers with his tongue.

You gulped. Reality finally hit you. You had let Jungkook finger you in the back of the bus. 

You pushed back against your seat and looked around to see if anyone was looking. Everyone on the bus was still unaware and you felt like you can breathe again. "Holy shit I can not believe we just did that," you brushed your hair back, somewhat disappointed at yourself for not stopping him.

Jungkook's smile surfaced. "I can't believe you just let me do that. Wanna return the favor?" he asks jokingly but watched your face to see if you were willing to suck him off. His hopes are put down when a frown appeared on your face and he could tell you wouldn't feel comfortable with that. "Joking babe."

"Don't call me that, please," you stressed. "This was a mistake, seriously don't ever speak of this with any of your friends. We're not going to speak of it either."

"I wasn't even going to," he muttered and looked away. "Funny how it's a mistake, Y/N, when you were over here telling me to keep going."

You fanned yourself, flapping your hand back and forth in front of your face. Jungkook looked at the layer of sweat near your hairline that glistened under the sunlight. "Stop, it was in the heat of the moment. It seriously was a mistake," he opened his mouth but you carried on. "Especially in the back of the bus, oh god, I'm really disappointed in myself," you zipped up your flare pants, not minding that your underwear is sticking to you.

"And I'm really disappointed in you too, for not giving me a chance," Jungkook said with knitted eyebrows. You sit away from him, making sure there was a good amount of space between the two of you. "Oh are you just going to ignore me now?" he isn't given a response, your tongue knotted together in your mouth. "So that's how it's gonna be now?"

You gathered your bag. The bus curving towards the upcoming bus stop. "This is my stop," you disclosed. He captured your forearm which quickly caught your attention.

"Don't be like this, Y/N." You shrug him off and walked out of the bus, leaving Jungkook and his gloomy thoughts behind.

"Shut up, stop playing with me!" Hayoon exclaimed, her eyes glimmered with interest as you filled her in on the day before. "You did not let Jungkook finger you on the back of the bus," she laughed out loud at her sentence, still not believing the words coming out of your mouth. You groaned and sunk your head back down on the table. "I mean gross, but hey, you're catching dick."

"I'm not catching dick, and stop saying it's gross it makes me even more disappointed in myself."

"I just don't understand how you can tell him you don't want him and tell him the reasons why and then let him finger you at the back of the bus?!" your face scrunched up at her words. "I seriously don't get it Y/N. It's like you're provoking the guy that's going after you and that's pretty fucked up. Play with his dick, not his emotions, oh wait—”

"I told him no multiple times."

"Then why the fuck would you let him finger you in the back of a bus?" Hayoon rubbed her temple before munching on a fry. "I think you do have a crush on him, you just don't want to date him because of all the girls he’s been with.”

You let her words settle in your mind for a moment, not even realizing that she held your hand in hers. "But baby, that's called the past. It's the least thing you got to worry about since you already know it. Take a risk, go out with him. He's ready to be in a serious relationship with you, he's been telling me this since Friday."

You sighed, lips forming a pout. "I don't know."

"Well make up your mind quick cause' he's coming this way," her words are rushed as she glanced over at Jungkook, who's heading over your way.

"What?!" you're just about to turn your head his direction when Hayoon grabbed your jaw.

"What are you doing you stupid bitch?! Don't look—okay, pretend like I'm not here, pretend like I'm not here!" she turned away from you and placed her earbuds in her ears.

"Wait does my hair look good?!" you caught her by the arm before she can leave.

"For who?"

You snapped her head towards Jungkook, who's already smiling at you. His black cap floated over his eyes as he dug his fingers into the pockets of his jogger pants. You coughed when you perceived that you were checking him out. "Um, no one. Just wanted to see if it's messy," you don't know why but your cheeks burned so hard, maybe at the fact that you know it is messy.

His hand came in contact with your head before he moved a strand of your hair that looked out of place before pushing your baby hairs down. You swatted his hands away, ignoring how your warm ears were tingling. "There, it's not that messy anymore. I brought something."

He sat down besides you. You eyes fluttered over to Hayoon. She spread a smirk out on her lips. While Jungkook continued finding the item he wanted to show you, something along the words that it was a jar. Her fist comes up besides her mouth, opening it slightly. Your cheeks become crimson when she began to push her left fist towards her mouth while her tongue kept knocking into her right cheek.

"Here," Jungkook placed a jar in front of you, the bright glittery letters mocking you. Swear Jar, it read at the front. "Every time you cuss, it's more money to my bank account."

Your lips loop downwards into a frown. Your eyebrows furrowed together in the progress. "Not fair, I told you I didn't want to be a sugar mama."

"Fine, this is both of our swear jar."

"Deal."

"Okay, now that that's out of the way, we can talk about yesterday," he put the glittery jar, he decorated last night for you, back in his backpack. A sudden weight pressed down on your shoulders at the thought of him bringing up what happened yesterday.

"Jesus Christ, what do you carry in there?" Hayoon added unintentionally and you're thankful for that. As much as she wanted to know about the encounter between the two of you, she also wanted to know what Jungkook carried in that big bag of his.

"Dildos."

"Wait, deadass?" she jumped up in her seat. I snorted at her, earning a glare. Jungkook's lips formed a line, specifying that he was joking. "Well fuck, it just looks like it's gonna break your back. Dude you know what that reminds me of?" she asked you. Your mind doesn't come across anything so you shook your head. "The Rosie girl? She was giving dildos out at this campus cause' she wanted to, quote, fight absurdity with absurdity. All over Twitter. Wish I could be there to get one."

Jungkook's eyes crinkled up as he laughed at her. The sound ringing through your ears, only to devaste you even more. "Can we talk about yesterday?" he leaned over and whispered to you.

You swore you felt his lips brushing against your ear. It stirred up your brain. "What about yesterday?" your hands started shaking and you hoped he didn't see how anxious you have become.

Luck wasn't on your side today however, his upcoming question boosting your anxiety even more. "Why are your hands shaking so much?" he grasped his bigger hand in yours.

You are quick to take it out of his. "We agreed that we wouldn't talk about what happened yesterday. It was a mistake I didn't—"

"No, you agreed that we wouldn't talk about it," his voice raised slightly to get your attention. Your mouth snapped shut. "We need to talk about it. How the fuck can you be playing with my feelings like this?" Hayoon whistled, mentally seeing eye to eye with Jungkook. "I want to have a chance with you, a shot at us. You give me all these mixed signals and then when I try to make a move on you, all of the sudden you act like a bitch Y/N."

"Well what do you want me to say? That I fucking like you back too?" you challenged and stood up from your chair. The students around you turned their heads over to you, watching the scene in front of them unfold. "How the fuck am I even playing with your feelings? I said I wanted to just be friends! I'm sorry that you're misinterpreted our friendship but that's not my problem!" you wished you could've shut your mouth but all you could see was red. Perhaps you were letting go of all the rage you’ve ever resented over him for the past months.

For ditching you to attend parties or being with other girls. For not always being there for you.

"What the fuck do you mean that's not my problem?!" he mimicked you, staring up at you. "You let me finger you and you expect me to believe that you just wanna be friends? Are you even listening to yourself?! You felt something back there."

Hayoon stepped in, walking over to the two of you. "Okay, I think you guys should just shut up," your eyes wandered around the room, where everyone was watching your interaction.

"Whatever," Jungkook's chair scraped the floor harshly as he pushed it back. He dug into his backpack before placing the jar in front of you. "You can keep that and this," he put down a package full of glittery hair pins, all different colors. Your heart wrenched as you watched him walk away, sullen. His steps are quick so he can take the attention off of him.

You turned the jar and saw that the top had words on it. Splattered in messy pink glitter, Sugar Mama's Swear Jar :D.

Jungkook was avoiding you. You could tell because he stopped coming after school to study with you, which was okay at first until you found yourself yearning for him.

It was stupid, really. After all that debate on how you two should just stay friends, you can't just tell him how much you miss him. That'll make you seem like an ass.

And trust me that's the last thing you want.

Your day was going bad, your professor yelled at you for not paying attention and put you in the spot, embarrassing you in front of the class. You were okay until a girl gave you a look of pity and you had a breakdown in the bathroom right after.

When you went to go meet up with Hayoon, it'll only got worse. She cancelled on you after forcing you to wait for her for thirty minutes. Just as you're leaving a group of middle schoolers thought it would be funny to step on a ketchup packet and let splatter everywhere, resulting in the back of your white top covered in dots of ketchup.

You swore you almost hit the kid who came up with it, even thought about running him over when you saw that the stains were everywhere and even in your hair.

After showering and getting the ketchup out of your hair, you went to work that ensued in you coming home with mascara practically running down your eyes, that were ready to pour out tears if something else happened to you, due to you wrongly mixing up orders and getting yelled out by a customer.

Now here you were, sitting on the living room floor with wet hair after taking another shower which mainly just involved you sitting on the tile floor and crying. You ate the Chinese takeout you have gotten during the way, ignoring the way people were staring at you, with sympathy.

It was the last thing you needed. Maybe karma was coming to get you for saying those things to Jungkook. But at this point all you wanted was some reassurance, a shoulder to cry on, someone to be there for you.

Jungkook.

You couldn't sleep. No matter how hard you tried you just couldn't. Hell, you even closed your eyes for a solid thirty minutes yet you were not able to drift off into slumber. Maybe it had to due with the weather? It was freezing, if you stepped a foot outside you would become an ice sculpture in an instant.

Or maybe, the most logical one compared to all the others, was Jungkook fingering you on the bus. You can't seem to get that scene off your mind. Your brain kept drifting over on how stunning he appeared, his dark eyes staring straight at yours as he watched your mouth form an O shape. He only ever broke eye contact when he snuck a look of how his fingers vanished into your pants.

Then your mind would stumble onto the memory of you yelling at him, telling him how his feelings for you were not your fault. You despised yourself at that moment. You sighed and laid back into your pillow, staring up into the ceiling. "I can't believe I am even having these types of thoughts," you slowly opened your legs while shutting your eyes. As long as you don't think about him, it'll be okay.

But you do. Sliding off your underwear, the first thing you thought about was Jungkook. His bunny smile rested on his face. You opened your eyes to get him off your mind and closed them again. You let out a gentle moan when you feel how wet you are.

He came back again. This time he settled right besides you on the bed. His hand is shoved between your legs. You moaned when he buried his head in your neck and kissed your skin there. "You like that, princess?"

You frowned immediately, he didn't call you any pet names. From what you can remember, he called you a degrading name.

"You like that dirty slut?" you mewled at him. He moved his fingers ceaselessly inside of you whilst breathing down your neck.

The sound of a zipper being undone makes your eyes crack open. You took a glimpse of Jungkook, his hand disappearing inside his jeans that displayed his muscular thighs.

You whined at him and he hovered on top of you. Your breathing got heavier as his cock sprung out of his jeans. "Oh god," you moaned as he slid himself inside of you so effortlessly. Your hands moved quicker inside of you. Feeling your wetness spill out of you and onto the mattress underneath you, you imagined him pounding into you. Your hands clamped on his long hair with your legs in the air as his hips furiously snapping into you.

It doesn't take you long to cum, given the fact at Jungkook's pace it seemed like he wasn't going to stop. He disappeared, leaving you sweaty and tired on the bed with your fingers stuck inside you. "Holy shit, I can not believe I just did that.

Recalling your words that were thrown at Jungkook, a heavy weight on your shoulder returned heavier as ever, reminding you how you practically lost your shot with him.

Shame on you for not giving Jeon Jungkook a chance.

"I think I was too harsh on him."

"You think? Don't lie to me bitch, you know you were fucking harsh on him," Hayoon stood in the middle of your room, scanning your closet for a dress she can wear to a party.

It was almost three days since your argument with Jungkook in front of everyone. You expected to make up with him on Thursday but Jungkook avoided you like you were the plague. He didn't text you for any notes he needed to borrow, nor did he usually come to study with you or leave you a sandwich. You never realized how apart of your life he became, especially when he didn't sit next to you for one of your shared classes. Instead, he chose to sit next to Taehyung, his best friend. It was Friday now and to be quite honest, you missed him.

"Don't trip about it. He could be at the party tonight, getting over you and possibly getting himself a girlfriend so you don't have to worry about him pinning over you. Now what the fuck should I wear?"

You didn't like the sound of that. Jungkook possibly finding another girl. Your consciousness settled back in your mind. How can you even say shit like that? You rejected him, you have no right to tell him not to move on. You sighed to yourself and laid back into the bed. "Maybe I shouldn't go. I don't wanna see him."

"I don't wanna see him." she dragged the straps of your orange dress up her figure. "Shut up because on Wednesday you kept asking why he wouldn't talk to you, like bitch I wouldn't talk to you either with that shit you pulled back there."

"Why not?"

"You're not serious right?" she turned back to you. She raised her eyebrow, challenging you. You groaned and followed her out of the room when she didn't receive an answer. "That's what I thought," you heard her under her breath.

"Not gonna lie, I think I'm gonna break my ankle with these bitches," you pointed down at your high heels, slowing down. You stopped to fix them. Hayoon carried on walking to her car, leaving you behind.

"You wanted to wear them. Now get in," she honked her horn. You hissed at her, reminding her that the neighbors are going to complain. "Don't give a fuck, get in loser we're going to party!" she honked her horn longer.

You ran to her car when you realized she wasn't going to stop. "You need the swear jar, you stupid bitch."

"Not even," before you could say something back, her music blasts through the car. She screamed out the lyrics, encouraging you to join along. "In your eyes! You lie but I don't let it define you—oh define you!"

"You sound like a dying cat."

"I tried to find—fuck you then."

Along the way you started to wonder how she even got her driver's license. Hayoon almost went on the sidewalk when she was tried to park which forced you to get out of the car and direct her.

"Keep going, keep going."

"Fuck, bitch you sure? I don't want another ticket for being on the red line," her head stuck out to make sure she wasn't going to hit the car behind her.

"Yes I'm sure—okay stop!" Hayoon shuts off the engine, stumbling out of the car. She laughed to herself before walking up to the fraternity house with you. "Okay, I forgot what it was like coming here."

The first smell that filled your nostrils was vomit. You glanced down towards the ground and saw a distraught girl on the front lawn throwing up while her friend rubbed her back. Hayoon advised you not to look, to give the poor girl some pity. Reluctantly, you entered the house with a clumsy walk. Hayoon noticed and suggested that you go have a drink. You at first declined but once your eyes scanned the room and landed on Jungkook leaning against a wall with a redhead clinging onto him. You made your way to the open kitchen. Unknown to you, jealousy boiled in your stomach.

So that's how you end up on your first shot of a tequila with a cup of vodka already resting in your liver. You weren't drunk, still you were not far from being tipsy. Conscious enough to see that Jungkook's eyes were on you while you downed the shot. Eyes focused on your throat as you swallowed. He exhaled, watching you pull out your phone and tap away. The red head girl right besides him, tried calling his name out to hook his attention. He brushed her off, muttering something to her that he didn't sleep around anymore.

His frustration grew even more when he saw you wandering over to the middle of the room where sweaty bodies were grinding on each other. Your flimsy black silky dress was not doing him justice either, seeing how tight it was on your figure. It showed off your curves well; he hated how good you looked. There was a big opening in the back that stopped near your hips. Should be a crime to look that good, he thought to himself while trying to keep his eyes on you.

Your hips swayed to the music blasting throughout the house. You opened your eyes, landing on Jungkook immediately. His eyes devouring you as he took a sip of his beer, eyes locked on your hips. You tried not to look at him again but still wondered what was going in that mind of his. You raised your hands up in the air, dress threatening to rise up.

Your curiosity got the best of you. Squinting one eye open to take a peek of Jungkook but you failed to locate him.

A gasp left your mouth as someone pressed their front on your back, rubbing their crotch on your ass. A whiff of the sweet scented Victoria Secret perfume gave the identity away. You tilted your head so that it laid on his chest. Confirming your thought, Jungkook stared down at you with dark eyes. His arm muffled around your waist to press you further into his chest. He felt his body go ease when he saw your lips bunch up into a smile. Your hips rocked from side to side on him. Jungkook held his hand on your waist, encouraging you to continue. You willingly do so arms flinging on his neck as you dragged yourself down his chest. His growing bulge poked your ass as you grind yourself on him. Your head laid back on him. Jungkook leaned down to meet your lips. His mouth entwined with yours, lip gloss rubbing off onto his mouth. You moaned into his mouth and sensed that his hand was harshly holding one of your ass cheeks.

"You wanna go upstairs?" He was somewhat taken back at your suggestion but agreed nonetheless. With his fingers keeping a firm grip on yours, the two of you went upstairs.

He guided you towards the room, which all winded up preoccupied due to freshman trying to lose their virginities. You cringed when you come face to face with someone's bare ass pushing against the lanky girl. Jungkook pushed you into the bathroom, telling a man to fuck off when he tried getting in.

"Hey," you glanced up from the floor onto Jungkook's eyes. He offered you a small awkward smile, warming your heart as if he wasn't rubbing his dick on your ass a few minutes ago.

"Hi," your voice sounded very small and Jungkook wanted to reach out and reassure you that he only came up to you to apologize, not to have you grind on him in the middle of the room. "I'm sorry," you began, eyes fixed to the ground. "Everything I said on that day was really fucked up. I care about your feelings. I care about you and I was giving you mixed signals and it's not okay."

"I'll be fine," his hand held your arm, rubbing it slightly. "It's okay if you don't return my feelings, I'll get over it—"

"But that's the thing I don't want you to get over it."

Jungkook blinked once, twice, and then another third time. Trying to comprehend your words while also trying to figure out what he was going to say was hard.

Your glossy lips moved. "I'm really willing to give you a chance and I'm so sorry for being such a cunt about it. I just—I needed some realization to understand my feelings. Truth is I've had a crush on you, but every time I saw you with these girls I always told myself I'm not good enough for you and that I'll never be. I’m also mad at the fact that you’re barely realizing your feelings towards me just now.”

He doesn't say anything which doesn't help your anxious state at the moment. Your gut scolded you, reminding you that you probably lost your chance and now you look like an idiot to him right now, confessing your feelings.

Jungkook sighed before embracing you. You stand still in shock from his sudden movements but chose to hug him back. His chin dropped down onto your head. "You're good enough for me, Y/N. You always have been and I'm sorry that it took me all these years for me to realize that."

"I couldn't stop thinking of you and all the shit I said. I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart," you admitted.

His bulge pushed against you and your cheeks flushed warm. Jungkook didn't say anything but bent down to kiss you. His lips moved roughly against yours. Your fingers coming up towards his hair to run through them. His hands digging harshly into your ass, possibly leaving small bruises behind but you're unbothered by it.

You pulled away, enough to stare up at his eyes. "I seriously couldn't stop thinking about you. I fucking masturbated to you, just by thinking of the bus shit," you confessed, watching his face lit up in surprise.

"Yeah? What was going on in that head of yours?" he encouraged you. You giggled at him, his thigh coming between your thighs.

"Your fingers in my pussy," your cheeks burned pink as he coaxed you to go on. "Your big dick pounding in me."

The look on his face is priceless but it just stayed there for a mere second as Jungkook recollected himself. He couldn't believe what was coming out of your mouth, never in a million years would he ever imagine you of all people saying this. The warmth travelled towards his crotch as he hardened at your words. His friend of seven years, his crush for almost two years was here in front of him, revealing that she touched herself to the thought of him. A blissful comfort spread all over his body.

"Don't you want that to happen?" he didn't even realize how close you were, he was too caught up in his thoughts. "You don't want to fuck my brains out?"

Your thighs closed around his thick ones. You reached up to kiss his neck, pecking his soft skin. Jungkook grunted as you left open mouth kisses behind, gripping his hand and directing it near your hips.

"I can't do it here," Jungkook whispered to you once he grasped the circumstances. In a fraternity bathroom with people out there that can possibly hear you two? Jungkook would never allow himself to touch you here the first time you two have sex. You whined against him, rubbing your crotch on his thigh. "Shit, seriously Y/N? You're making this hard for me."

"What your dick? Why? I don't care where we do it. I just—I need it to happen—come on Jungkook fuck me," if your mind wasn't clouded by lust you would been very disappointed at yourself for what you were saying, but you could care less. He closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the ceiling. He was fighting with himself.

The only sound in the bathroom was the loud heavy bass music playing and the two of you heavily breathing. "Do you want me to go find another guy out there that can do the job for you or what?" you tried riling him up and it worked cause Jungkook was staring at you with dark hooded eyes. "Cause' I could walk out there and take any guy home with me do you want that?" you both know deep down you wouldn’t be able to do that. You’re too shy.

Jungkook came across as if something possessed him suddenly. His hair falling over his eyes slightly. His tongue came out of his mouth to moisten his lips. "Get on your fucking knees," Jungkook snapped, a hand going back to get tangled in your hair. You dropped down to the ground. "I wanna see your pretty tits," you pulled down the straps of your dress and got rid of your strapless bra, throwing it aside. "Well aren't you a desperate cock sucking whore?" you whined at him with your dress bunched up around your waist. "What don't tell me you like being called that?" he chuckled. Your cheeks flushed in humiliation.

You reached over to unzip his jeans. He merely let out a chuckle, extremely satisfied with your avidity. As you rolled down his boxers, his hand wrapped around your hair. "Look up at me, whore," your eyes jerked up to him. "Open your mouth," you gulped at the size, wondering if it was even going to fit in your poor mouth. He teased, rubbing the head of his cock on your lips when you did. Your jaw ached as you tried opening as wide as you can to please him. You looked up at him as he slid his cock in your mouth. He groaned, loving the warmth and wetness of your mouth surrounding him. He maintained the eye contact between you two whilst he carried on shoving his dick in your throat. You moaned and moved back once it hit your throat. But before you can, he gripped the back of your hair firmly and thrusted his hips forward. You gagged around him, tears brewing and ready to burst out. You extended your hands out to his thighs. He held your head in place, his cock shoving down your throat at an animalistic speed. "What a good little slut," he eventually praised you. "Letting me fuck her throat hard and shit," you shut your eyes.

You regret doing so. Feeling a tug to your hair, your eyes snap open and look up. "You get praised like a good bitch once and you think you can be a bad girl? I don't think so, whore," he stared straight into your eyes with his dark orbs devouring you. Your drool slithering down your chin. You peer up at him with desperation written all over your face. Your fingers glided down to your dress. You kept your gaze on him when your fingers entered your pussy, feeling how wet you are. "Are you seriously touching yourself?" he sounded thrilled at the idea. Jungkook stopped moving for a second, allowing you to suck on the head of his cock. He watched mascara run down your cheeks, feeling some sort of ego boost that he was making you look this way.

You nodded frantically, moving your fingers faster. You sucked him harder, your jaw throbbing as you attempted to deep throat him. He forced your head deeper so that your nose was touching his pubic hair. "I didn't give you permission, disobedient slut. You got three seconds to finish," he finished with a sullen laugh, knowing you weren't. "One, two–" Jungkook watched your eyes become watery as you hopelessly tried to get yourself to cum in just three seconds. "—three, take your fingers out whore."

You obeyed and showed him your fingers, glittering under the bathroom light, even though on the inside you were begging to be touched again. You thought of going against him. Jungkook let a cackle escape from his mouth. "Fuck, you're so fucking wet I bet you're fucking leaking out onto the floor."

You mewled, bobbing your head up and down. Releasing his cock out of your mouth with a lewd pop, you batted your eyelashes up at him. "I'm so fucking wet for you," he flashed you a quick grin, obviously content with your answer. He brought your fingers up to his mouth, sucking them off while maintaining eye contact with you. His tongue swirled around your finger as you repeat the same motion on his cock. He released your finger.

"You can use your hands," you pull away right after he said that. You pumped him rapidly, your hand moving back and forth. Your ears took in his grunts, feeling some pride for causing him to make those noises. He almost came when he felt your warm, wet mouth around one of his balls.

"I want you to cum on my tits." he agreed, staring down at you. Tension builds within his stomach as he groaned out loud. You gaped at him when his cum shoots towards your neck, aiming towards your breasts.

Jungkook's breathing became heavier as he came back down from his blissful state that he was in. He grew hard in a instant when he saw how fucked you looked. Your mascara running down your eyes, leaving a trail of black ink behind. Your hair was tangled together into a mess due to him gripping it so tightly. With saliva dripping down your red swollen smeared lips, his eyes drifted further down. The straps of the dress you were wearing were rolled out into your stomach, exhibiting your perky breasts that are smeared with his cum.

"You look like a fucked whore," he smiled at you with satisfaction resting in his mind.

You giggled at him, tucking your hair behind your ear. "Yeah, not just for you," you gazed up at him, a small smile on your lips.

He helped you get off the floor. His facial expression is now serious, indicating that he wasn't happy with your answer. Jungkook's fingers tapped the cold surface of the sink, indicating to sit down on it. You do so, opening your legs slowly.

He watched, eyes strictly locked in between your legs. "Who are you so wet for?" he asked.

You snorted and shrugged which only grew him more frustrated.

Jungkook growled and flipped you over. He bended you over the bathroom sink and bore his eyes into you by the mirror. "You wanna keep acting like a slut, you're might as well be fucked like one," you silently squealed in excitement. Jungkook lifted your dress up in one go. He pulled your underwear down, making you step out of them. "Put your leg on the counter," he commanded and you do as you're told. Lifting your right leg on the counter while the other one remained on the ground. You heard him frantically pull down his jeans. You gasped when you feel the tip on your entrance. He reached over for the condom on the counter.

"No!" you exclaimed. Jungkook stopped and looked down at your worriedly, wondering if you wanted to stop now. You gulped, feeling your cheeks burned in embarrassment. "Don't use one please." you whined. "I want to feel you raw."

You heard Jungkook chuckle from behind you. He felt like he was on cloud nine, he was fucking thriving. "Yeah? My fucking slut wants me to do her raw?" he started pushing himself. You held your breath as your walls allowed him to enter, tightening around his big shaft. His cock rimmed inside of you

"Y-yeah," you manage to choke out, staring at him through the mirror. He maintained eye contact to where your bodies connected, watching his cock sink into you as he held your hips in place. 

"Has any other guy fucked you raw, slut?" Jungkook brought his hand around your throat. You sensed that you could orgasm right there. You shook your head as he finally is inside of you fully. "What was that? Use your words, come on you're a big girl," he gripped your inner right thigh with so much strength, he could break it off if he tried. I mean those biceps.

"N-no only you. Just for you," he grinned at that.

"Good," you let out a loud moan when he started finally moving. His hips rutted into yours at an animalistic speed. He stared at you through the mirror, watching how your mouth opens and your breasts jiggle. He pressed your throat a little harder. "Bet no guy ever made you feel this way."

"Only you, Jungkook! Only you!" you manage to breath out. Your knuckles are almost white by how hard you're holding onto the counter. He lowers himself so his face is near your ear.

"Yeah? Look at you, telling me how I'll never have you yet you're over here drooling over my dick. Fucking whore." you whined harder as he breathed down your neck. You feel yourself began getting more wetter at his words. "Imagine what your family and friends will say when they find out you're letting me fuck you in the ass in a dirty bathroom at a frat party."

You shut your eyes, your pussy swallowing him back in. His hand squeezed your throat a little tighter. "Fucking slut," he snapped his hips at you. You moaned out loud, shamelessly. "On the dance floor dancing like one."

"Because I am one," he chuckled at that, fingers coming up to pinch your nipple.

"Yeah? Who do you belong to? Whose slut are you?" the grip on your throat tightened, not enough to block your airway however. Jungkook kept his eye on you through the mirror, your lips molding into an oval shape. His palm came down to meet one of your asscheeks. You jumped forward, Jungkook pulling you back onto his cock. He stopped moving to lock eyes with you through the mirror, his lips hovering over your ear. "When I ask you a question, I expect a fucking answer," you tried to move your hips a bit but he caught you before you can. "Now," his voice deepened. "Whose slut are you?"

"Your slut! I'm your slut! Jungkook, please—"

"Yeah? Scream when I fuck you so that everyone knows who your pussy belongs to," his hips rammed into you again. You swore you can feel him fucking into your cervix. You let a loud moan break free from your mouth, his hot breath fanned your ear.

A roaring pounding on the door snapped his head away. You whimpered and become aware that his pace was reducing as his attention was now on the other man trying to get in. Jungkook yelled out words that sounded fuzzy to your ears considering all you could hear is your heartbeat.

"No, no, Jungkook don't stop," you pleaded with him, twisting yourself to look at his lust filled eyes. "I'm almost there please!"

You almost screamed at him when he pulled out. He sat on the toilet lid, tapping his thighs that were spread out in front of him. "Ride me," he demanded. You're somehow quick on your wobbly legs, getting on top of him. You grasped his swollen red cock, lining it up with your entrance before sinking down.

Jungkook's hand went towards your hip to support you while the other one went further down to touch your swollen clit. His mouth came near your ear as you cried out his name. "If you don't come in the next minute, you're not cumming tonight, got it slut?" you panted but nonetheless nodded frantically.

And with that Jungkook sat back, watching you fuck yourself on his cock, you were basically using him as a toy and Jungkook loved that. The desperation look on your face was amusing and Jungkook stored in in his memories.

"Oh shit! Fuck I'm almost there," his palm travelled further down to rub your ass.

"Time's almost up," he wasn't actually keeping track but your determination to cum on such a short amount of time was adorable to him. Your thighs smacked his, bouncing on his cock faster. Jungkook's finger carried on rubbing against your clit, his eyes trailing down from your face to your bouncing breasts.

Your eyes rolled back as you heaved up. Your mouth opened wide, feeling your orgasm wash over you. Jungkook heard his name leave your mouth, panting. He almost came when he felt something warm soak into his jeans. Looking down, he became aware of what just happened.

"Fucking dirty slut," he hissed and allowed you to relax your head on his shoulder as your whole weight sunk down on him. His ears took in your sniffles. "Look what you did, squirted all over me slut."

Your cheeks burned in humiliation, nuzzling your nose into his shoulder.

You gasped when he lifted his hips up to meet yours. You cried out to him to stop but Jungkook's quick to silence you with his fingers stuffed in your mouth. Your tears threatened to spill. "You're so tight, fuck! Need to fuck you more, whore,"

It doesn't take long for him to sprout into you, judging the way you tightened around him and how fucked your face look when he looked down to meet your eyes. With his cum coating your walls, he slid out of you. A bit of cum came out and dropped down to his black pants leaving a white stain behind.

You attempted to stand out on your own but failed due to you not being able to feel your legs for a second. Luckily, Jungkook is there to help you. He bent down to help you put on your underwear.

"Are you on birth control?" he asked while zipping up his pants. You checked your face in the mirror, noticing the hickeys all over your neck and the mascara smothered down your cheeks.

You turned to look at him, pulling your dress down."Are you really asking me after we just had sex? Where's my bra by the way?" your face is met with your bra when he flung it at you.

He laughed, watching you put it on. "Yeah, seriously though are you?"

"Why? If I'm going to be your sugar mama I might as well be your baby mama." Jungkook looked stricken and you snickered, bringing your hand up to hide your mouth. "I'm joking," you wiped your face with some wet wipes you found in the drawers.

"Not funny, was ready to fucking make a run for it."

It was your turn to look stricken as Jungkook laughed. You frowned and slapped his chest.

It goes quiet, the loud bass music now coming back to fill your ears instead of Jungkook's moans. He stood awkwardly near the corner while you threw away the wipes you used to remove your makeup. Running your fingers through your hair, you turned towards him.

"So, does this mean that you're going to give me a chance?" the man in front of you standing like an anime character asked, as if he wasn't calling you degrading names a few minutes ago.

You smiled at him and lunged forward to kiss him. "Yes, I'll give you a chance Jungkook."

↳ in your heart; drabble collection

[reidgraygubler]

short skirt, high heels (spencer reid/reader)

Title: short skirt, high heels, 

Anon requested: Hi! May i please have a Spencer one shot? y/n has been part of the team for a while, she’s confident, fun and always wearing professional but slightly sexy workwear. Spencer is caught staring at y/n legs while she’s wearing a skirt. Her and Spence have a flirty friendship that leads to more?

Couple: spencer reid/fem reader

Category: spicy fluff

Content Warning: comments about sex, sex jokes, swearing, low-key sub!spencer, low-key dom!reader, mentions of drinking (but no actual drinking) 

Word Count: 2,371

Summary: Spencer has had a crush on reader since she basically started working for the BAU. It doesn’t help that reader dresses to leave a little to the imagination and is constantly flirting with him.

A/N: this is my first time writing dom(-ish)!reader… let alone sub(-ish)!spencer… so pretty please bare with me with this one… i mean, i think i did a dom(-ish)!reader... but yeah! thank you everyone for the love and support! check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

I don’t know why I wear such revealing clothing to work. It’s modest and professional, I just have to put that out there. But, it is on the sexier side of clothing. I suppose I do it because I like it, it makes me feel more confident. And you need a certain level of confidence to have a job at the FBI’s prestigious Behavioural Analysis Unit. 

The way people's eyes followed me felt great. I loved it. But it was always one person who caught my attention, or I caught their attention I should say. It was always the same person, and will forever be the same person. Spencer Reid’s eyes have been on me since day one, not that I’m complaining. 

I could picture it clearly how his eyes followed me from the elevator all the way to Hotchner’s office. And how red his face was when Derek called him out about. It was honestly my favorite thing in the world. I kinda felt bad about the teasing he got. But, he shouldn’t have been staring in the first place. It was my first day! I didn’t know him… Let alone did he know me.

A pile of files was sitting in one arm, while my free hand held a small briefcase. The elevator was a scratchy silvery color, and the lights from above reflected off every surface. 

My hair was pulled back in a high and curly ponytail. A tight, navy blue, pencil skirt clung to my legs, and a modest, yet very low, red blouse hung from my shoulders. I typically try to do subtle makeup for professional days, but I always look like some sort of supermodel at the end of the day. 

The doors to the elevator doors dinged open, showing me, behind a floor to ceiling window, the open offices of the BAU. Aaron Hotchner would be the man I was looking for, but their offices were so open, people were walking around, bustling because of their copious amounts of work. Can’t wait for that to be my life.

I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear as I entered the main office area. A few people were sitting and standing around one person’s desk. They were all laughing and talking to each other as the people around them worked their asses off. Their boss just lets them do this?

I furrowed my eyebrows as I walked into the office area some more. People were still rushing past me, not talking to me. I know for a fact I don’t look familiar to anyone here, and I look lost to everyone. A little help would be nice.

“Could you tell me…” I started to talk but didn’t get to finish my thought when the person just continued walking. I let out an annoyed sigh and went to stop someone else, but fail when they glared at me and kept walking. 

“Uh, Aaron Hotchner’s office?” I failed again. I threw my head back and let out a deep sigh. I didn’t realize just how busy it was today. If I had known it was so busy, I wouldn’t have come in today.

“Excuse me,” I stepped right in front of someone else and they stopped to look at me. 

“I’m sorry, I gotta go. Time-sensitive thing,” they pointed at their watch before pushing past me. I bit my lower lip and shook my head again.

“Can anyone please tell me where Aaron Hotchner’s office is?!” I only half-shouted. I still gotta maintain some level of professionalism. I was just getting fed up with everyone ignoring me. Everyone around me stopped their movement and looked at me. 

The group of people at the desk all stared at me with wide eyes before pointing towards the other side of the room. I looked at everyone before looking at where they were pointing. A man wearing a black suit and a businessman haircut was standing on a small catwalk, looking at everyone in the office area. Although, he was mostly looking at me. I widened my eyes and looked down at the ground with wide eyes before walking over to him.

“Hi, you must be Aaron Hotchner,” I looked up at him before introducing myself. “I didn’t mean to cause a scene,” I looked back out in front of us. Everyone was back at their work, even the people at the desk. All except for one person.

A man, who was with the group around the desk, was staring at me. Not near me or at Aaron, but right at me. It was just obvious that he was staring at me. His eyes carefully lingering on my legs, or arms, or my chest for the briefest second. But never long enough on my face. Although when he did look at my face, I smiled and winked. His face grew three shades red. 

“No, no, don’t worry. I understand the hustle and bustle of this place,” Aaron laughed before turning to look at me, “Let’s step inside my office.”

So, that’s where I was work-wise. Working on the team with the BAU, with the man who stared at me and became a tomato the second I winked at him. Ah, good ole’ Spencer Reid. That boy doesn’t even know he’s infatuated with me… But I do.

I’ve had my fair share of flirts with him, and scandalous comments made about the two of us. Or, the jokes and teasing made by others. Although, our friendship always had some sort of flirtiness to it, even if he didn’t notice he was flirting with me. There was still something there. I smiled at the thought of him being so oblivious and clueless. 

Derek giving him pointers or tips was my favorite. The help was nice, honestly. But, it was the execution. It was a little sad when Derek left to be with Hank and Savannah, leaving poor Spencer to fend for himself. Of course, Rossi tried but no really let Spencer listen. 

I could hear his voice now when he told Derek and David that he didn’t need tips or pointers, because ‘He doesn’t have a crush on her.’ They never really gave up on that though.

“Seems like you’ve caught someone’s attention,” Emily muttered as she looked down at the desk. I glanced over my shoulder and noted that the eyes one Spencer Reid were wandering up and down my lower half and backside. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dressing for a guy. I mean, I dress mostly for myself. But the unwanted, yet wanted, attention from one guy was excellent.

“And he says he doesn’t have a crush on me,” I looked back at Emily with a smile. She laughed as she looked at the paperwork I was signing. “Do you think he even knows he’s staring?” I spoke as I placed the pen down on the desktop.

“I don’t think he knows he likes you,” she replied, finally shuffling the papers together in a neat pile. I scoffed and shook my head. “C’mon, you know Reid. He’s got the innocence of a 1st grader when it comes to relationships and romance,” she laughed as she stood up straight.

“True, this is true,” I returned the laughter as I stood up so I was no longer leaning over my desk. “All done with paperwork?” I asked, smiling at Emily.

“For now, I hope,” she laughed as she picked up the papers. “Good luck with you know who,” she spoke in a sing-y song tone before slipping away to her office. I looked back over my shoulder and smiled when I saw that Spencer was still staring at me.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” I winked once he looked up at my face. And I swear, his face changed several different shades of red as he looked at me. He went from looking normal to looking like Roma Tomato. I didn’t feel bad about my joke either. It wasn’t the first time I’d caught him staring at me. “Or just close your eyes and use your robot brain to take a picture,” I smirked at him.  

“I… I wasn’t staring,” Spencer muttered as he pulled his eyes from my body to look at his own paperwork. I slowly walked away from my desk and over towards him. I leaned over so I was the same height as him. But, that also gave him a great look at my cleavage. I smirked when he struggled to not stare at my chest.

“Sure you weren’t,” I placed my hand to his cheek and smiled. For a moment he leaned more into my touch, but instantly jerked away from my hand, “It’s okay, you weren’t staring at me. I get it.” I smiled and cocked my head, “I know how I look. I’d stare too if I was you,” I pulled my hand away from his face before sitting down in his lap. Spencer held his hands up so he wasn’t touching me at all. I had to force myself not to pout. I’d be okay if he touched me in any way, innocent, not innocent… Doesn’t matter. 

“What are you doing!? There are people here! Watching!” He exclaimed once I was settled on his legs. I smiled and nodded.

“I know, I know,” I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck, “But, the next time I catch you staring at my ass, I’m gonna do a lot worse than sitting on your lap, Reid,” I smiled and blinked at him. He stared at me and nodded slowly, like even though he understood the words I was saying, he knew he wasn’t going to follow through with them.

It was impressive how his face got even redder. But it was crazy. I kinda liked it too. 

“Do you understand?” I whispered as I looked at him. He nodded. I smiled again before I stood up. “I’d understand if you look again, I won’t be upset. In fact, I’ll encourage it, Spence,” ” I kept smiling at him as I walked away from him. 

I returned to my desk and gathered my things before I left the office for the day. As I looked over my shoulder, Spencer was definitely staring at me, and he knew I definitely caught him. So, I smiled before winking and waving as the elevator doors shut.

{***}{***}{***}

“O’Keefes anyone?” Luke asked as we stepped off the elevator. I rolled my shoulders and looked at him with a somewhat flirtatious smile. He returned the smile and winked.

“I’m always down to go to O’Keefes with you, Lukey Poo,” I cooed as I pinched his cheek. A groan came from the back of the group, causing me to turn and look. A smile grew on my lips when my eyes landed on Spencer, who had rolled his eyes and looked away from Luke and I. “You comin’ with us, Pretty Boy? First-round on me?” I smiled at him.

“I’m definitely in if you’re buying drinks,” Jennifer looked at me before stepping ahead of Luke and I. I smiled at her before looking back at Spencer.

“Pretty please,” I half begged as I pouted my lower lip and gave my best puppy dog eyes. Spencer looked back at me, a pointed stare in his eye. I gave him my best puppy dog eyes and playful pout as I looked at him. “You don’t even have to drink. You can just sit there and be quiet,” I spoke before abruptly stopping in my tracks. And just as I turned around, Spencer walked right into me. In order to keep me from toppling over, he grabbed both my arms to keep me upright. His hands were touching the exposed skin on my arms, causing me to smile. This would be the first time he was touching me, off of a case. Working on a case is a whole different story. Pulling me out of the way of an unsub is different than firmly placing his hands on my arms to steady me from falling.

“You need to be more careful… I won’t always be there to catch you when you fall,” he spoke low just so I could hear him. I smiled as I looked up at him.

“But, I’d love it if you were there,” I lifted a hand to place on his chest. Just as he opened his mouth, someone appeared beside us. I smiled as I looked over at the person.

“Will you two just get a room already?” Emily looked between Spencer and I before leaving us alone. I looked back up at Spencer with a new, confident, and flirtatious smile. He looked clueless as always. Of course, he didn’t know what Emily meant by that.

“Whaddya say we go find a broom closet and show up to O’Keefes a little later than the others,” I carefully wrapped my arms around his neck. Even in my highest heels, Spencer was still a good few inches taller than me. So, I stood on my toes to try to get closer to his personal space and lean closer to his face. “I know where some great broom closets are to get… funky in,” I whispered as I leaned closer to him. We were a good few inches away from each other, and it was taking everything in me to not press my lips to his.  

“I… I, uh... Uh,” Spencer started, but clearly couldn’t find the words to say anything. I smiled before lifting a finger to his lips.

“Just a nod or a shake of your head will be okay…  And, if you say no, I won’t be upset. I’ll stop and I won’t bring it up again… Now, Doctor Reid,” I whispered as I pulled my finger away from his lips. “Do you want to go find a broom closet and have some fun in there?” I asked again. Spencer stared at me with wide eyes before rapidly nodding. I put my arms back around his neck before pressing my lips to his. Spencer placed his hands firmly on my waist.

And after 8 years of working here, I’m finally getting what I want. 

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto

[jelly-belly-fish]

I wrote another story. My friends really wanted me to post this one, so here it is. Be warned, it has my own headcanons in it too.

TW: Cursing, Bullying

The First Meeting, Pt. 1

“C’mon, ‘Dreadgory’! Hurry up!” Xavier yelled at the boy.

“I-I’m coming,” Gregory sweetly stammered in response to his fellow classmate.

Giving the Glamrock Freddy plush he was holding a final squeeze, Gregory placed the bear plush back down on the gift shop shelf. He wanted to buy it so bad, but guess it’ll have to wait until later.

“I’ll come back for you,” he cooed softly, giving the plush a soft pat on the head, “I promise.”

The plush only gave silence as a response. Just the happy little expression sewn on its face. Gregory smiled softly back at the empty response.

“C’mon, sissy!” Gregory heard Jaxon call out to him next, “The meet and greets are starting soon! We don’t want to be late because of your slow ass!”

“Language...” Gregory whispered as he ran over to his group of friends. They all slouched and sat around the giant fountain near the grand entrance of the PizzaPlex. There were four of them: Xavier, Jaxon, Zachary, and Ian.

Xavier was a ginger with an undershave haircut. It was both smooth and spiky at the same time. Gregory always thought that the fashion trend of the boy was too mature for his age, but he didn’t question the leather-jacket-wearing 4th grader, less he wanted a bruised jaw again like last time.

Jaxon was the oldest fourth grader in Gregory’s class. With his almost-white-blonde hair and being the fastest one in gym class, he was a crush for every girl in their grade. Gregory couldn’t think of one girl who didn’t want to spend reading time with him or trade food with him at lunch. Anything to get his attention.

Zachary was probably the nicest to Gregory. Then again, that’s not saying much given how many times he dunk Gregory into sinks and dumped food all over the boy. The African American boy wore a white, zip up hoodie and blue shorts. Zachary stuck his tongue out at Gregory as he approached.

Last there was Ian. He always wore black and blue and had green eyes that always seemed like they were emotionally dead. He laughed at the most random things and told terrible jokes. And if Gregory didn’t laugh, he always got what was coming to him...

“Took you long enough, egghead!” Xavier hissed as the boys started to get up from their resting positions, “I swear if we miss these events, I’ll—“

“Xavier, shut your face!” Zachary sneered, “The more you complain to Gregory, the higher chance we’ll miss the shows! C’mon!”

As the boys started making their way to the escalators, Gregory felt a tight grip on his arm. He nervously turned to see Xavier squeezing his arm. Gregory gave Xavier a fearful look.

“This isn’t over, Evans...” Xavier hissed, thrashing Gregory’s arm down before going to join the others.

Gregory shook his head quietly, kneading his arm.

“They’re my friends...” Gregory reassured himself. Then he started to follow the group of boys up to the other parts of the PizzaPlex.

XXX

“Does everyone have their tickets?” Jaxon inquired the group as they approached the Green Rooms.

Ian giggled slightly.

“I don’t have any tickets! I’m gonna see Moondrop!”

“Seems like you guys would get along...all creepy and tell weird jokes...” mumbled Gregory under his breath, looking at the glossy, tiled floor.

“You got something to say, Dreadgory?!” Ian snapped as he grabbed the boy’s shirt collar, pulling him in close.

“You need to be nice to us, Evans,” Jaxon snarled, “you don’t want to be a crybaby who plays by himself at recess again, do ya!?”

Gregory’s heart pounded fast. He could feel the tension in the air as Ian tightened his grip on his shirt, still glaring at him with those dull green eyes.

“I-I’m sorry...” Gregory’s eyes started to sting. His brown eyes were now squeezed tight as he prepared for their punches.

Gregory didn’t get any punches, but the floor greeted him with a harsh slap as he fell onto it. His breathing hitched as Gregory shakily got onto his hands and knees. Head still low, Gregory looked back up at his group of friends. They all towered over him now.

“We’ll let you off this time, shorty...” Jaxon sneered, “It is your birthday after all.”

Ian broke out in hysterical laughter.

“Awww look at da little baby! Is he going to cry?!”

The rest of the boys started to snicker along. It was true, Gregory was going to cry.

Gregory could feel tears start to drip from his eyes. He tried to stay strong, but he could feel himself cracking.

“C’mon guys, let’s leave the birthday boy to his birthday tears!” Xavier cackled.

They all started to leave, talking amongst themselves about what animatronic they were going to see. Jaxon to Roxanne Wolf, Xavier to Montgomery Gator, Zachary to Glamrock Chica, and Ian to Moondrop.

The only one left was the main star himself: Glamrock Freddy.

He was for the birthday boy.

He was the only thing Gregory was looking forward to seeing on his birthday. The only thing to make his day better. Gregory looked down at the blue and white Fazbear Entertainment ticket in his tiny hands. Gregory then held a small smile on his face. Wiping away his tears, Gregory stood up and made his way to the Green Room of the one and only Freddy Fazbear.

His heart started jogging in his chest again. He was both excited and scared at the same time. He wasn’t the biggest fan of animatronics, but there was something about Glamrock Freddy that he loved so much. His kind demeanor, the way he cared about every child he met, his powerful vocal chords when he spoke and sung, he was like everyone’s dad. Everyone’s weird, robotic, bear dad.

As Gregory approached the green room for Freddy, he saw a red curtain draped in front of it. His pulse quickened. Why were the curtains closed? Picking up his pace, Gregory ran to the front of the curtain. There was a white sign in front of the sparkly, red curtain. Gregory’s heart dropped to his stomach.

“OUT OF ORDER.”

No.

No!

NO!

NO! NO! NO!

Gregory’s teeth gritted together. He sucked air through his teeth as tears poured from his eyes.

This had to be fake. It couldn’t be real.

Gregory could sense the teasing and humiliation coming already if the other boys founded him like this. Founded the only dream he had for today to be crushed.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream.

He just wanted to hide away forever.

Without even thinking, Gregory dashed into the curtains and into the room behind.

It was a dark room. The only light was the little sliver coming from the cut between the two curtains. Not seeing anything around him, Gregory fell onto his face. A pained grunt slipped past his lips as his face squished into the firm, velvety carpet.

That was the final straw for him.

Curling up on the floor, Gregory hiccuped the smallest of sobs. He laid there for awhile, silently crying over his birthday being ruined.

“It’s not fair...” Gregory pulled himself into a tighter ball, “It’s not fair, it’s not fair!”

“What’s not fair?” A mocking tone asked behind the boy.

Gregory snapped up and scuttled backwards.

In the darkness, the only light being their phone flashlights, were Xavier, Jaxon, and Zachary.

They were all different however, and certainly not for the better. They were all wearing masks of the characters they all went to see. There were not visible eyes in the masks, making them look like empty voids in the darkness. They stared at him eerily, sending chills down Gregory’s spine.

“Did the baby boy not get what he wanted this year for his birthday?” Xavier questioned further. “Did he want to be forgotten?”

Gregory shook his head quickly. No...

“You know, Xavier,” Jaxon said, in a overly exaggerated thinking pose, “I heard there’s something special about these animatronics...especially Freddy...”

Gregory didn’t like where this was going. He slowly started to scoot back.

“Freddy has a special way to treat sad birthday kids!” Jaxon laughed. “He EATS them!”

“Wh-Wha...” Was all a shaken Gregory was able to say before getting snatched up by the bullies.

“And we gotta keep the bear happy and STUFFED, now don’t we Gregory?”

They flashed their lights onto the animatronic who was hiding, decommissioned in the shadows of the room.

Gregory kicked and screamed for them to let him go.

“You did this to yourself, runt,” Jaxon warned, speaking through his Roxanne mask’s wolffish grin, “You just HAD to be upset on your birthday!”

As Gregory continued to cry out louder now, Jaxon clamped a hand over the boy’s mouth, muffling his screams.

Zachary jumped on top of the small stage that Glamrock Freddy stood on. He felt around the animatronic’s chest and stomach like he was searching for something.

“Hey Jax!” He called out over Gregory’s muffled cries, “How do you open this?”

“Press his bowtie, stupid! Just like how my mom showed us!” Jaxon scoffed, struggling to keep a grip on Gregory’s squirming torso. Xavier did his best to control Gregory’s legs.

With a click and a hiss, the bear’s broad chest opened. With only the phone lights as his guide, Gregory stopped struggling for a bit and stared at the now opened chest. In the harsh lighting mixed with complete darkness, the chest cavity of the animatronic looked like a dark void...ready to swallow Gregory whole.

Gregory thrashed about even more now, like a fish trapped in a net. He wanted to cry and scream for them to stop, but Jaxon’s hand only made him make suppressed yelps.

They brought him closer...and closer....

Finally, with a good and quick shove, Gregory was forced into the tight darkness. Gregory quickly turned his head around to see the opening of the chest cavity snap close behind him. Gregory was now soaked in enclosed darkness.

“NO!” He cried.

Gregory pressed himself against the sealed entrance. Sweat made his hands clammy as he pounded against the plastic wall. Tears flooded his eyes as he anxiously knocked against the fake material.

“PLEASE LET ME OUT!!” He begged, choking between sobs, “PLEE-EEASE!!”

His cries only got muffled chuckles in response. Those chuckles made Gregory grasp onto reality. A silent fearful look took over Gregory’s tear stained, sweat covered face.

“Listen to him, the fuckin’ idiot...” A softened Xavier cackled.

“Oh, if only Ian was here,” Jaxon wheezed, “He would be laughing his ass off right now...”

Gregory’s good heart wanted to remind them of their language, but he forced himself to stay silent. That didn’t stop his tears from flooding though. Hitched breaths were sucked in through his teeth.

“Guys... I think he’s been in there long enough,” Zachary whispered, “I don’t want to get in trouble with my dad about this.”

“Oh shut up, Zack..” Xavier snapped, “The little bitch just needs to learn that him crying is so annoying..”

“Yeah,” Jaxon agreed, “No wonder no one is friends with him.”

Gregory’s heart froze. The dreaded reality finally sat in. The one he fought so hard to not accept. Tears continued to flow as he leaned against the plastic wall, sobs ripping from his throat.

Gregory truly was all alone in this world.

As he sat there, bawling his eyes out in the darkness, Gregory couldn’t help but feel something, or someone, watching him. Watching him...and watching the bullies outside his tomb. He felt the omnipresent stare on him. It felt angry. It felt judgmental. It felt...protective.

Gregory looked around the tight space. There was no room for anyone else to be in here. Heck, there was barely enough room for him to be in here. His knees ached with cramps. His feet were pressed against the metal wall behind him. Gregory wanted out...and he wanted out now. And he wanted the feeling of being watched to go away too. It certainly wasn’t helping.

Despite his silent pleas, Gregory continued to stay in that chest cavity, and the feeling of being watched only got worse.

“C’mon guys,” Jaxon sarcastically laughed, “Let’s leave the little birthday boy to his little gift from us. I’m sure he’ll want to be alone to enjoy it alllll to himself.”

That one sentence brought back the fear and dread Gregory had only mere moments ago.

“WAIT!!” Gregory shrieked, “YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME IN HERE!!”

He continued to knock and slam his hands hands against the plastic wall. They seriously couldn’t be leaving him here...they couldn’t be...

“Oh, I think he’s loving it so far,” a much more distant Jaxon called out, “Have fun in there, Dreadgory!”

A burst of the boys’ laughter erupted again, suddenly being even more muffled by a curtain swooshing. Soon, the laughter faded away, only leaving Gregory in complete darkness. Complete, eerie darkness. The only sounds were Gregory’s cries and pleas, hopelessly trying to get their attention, to make them come and get him out of this stupid chest cavity. All he got in response was his cries and knocks echoing in the tight space...

After what seemed like forever of begging and tears, Gregory’s screams dialed down to soft whimpers. He hugged his knees and held them up to his chest. Gregory’s body was soaked in sweat. His forehead was beaded with the salty liquid. The dark air and his clothes were now dampen from the sweat and his tears. Still in utter darkness, Gregory continued to sob quietly, thinking of what just happened. Were his friends right? Did he really deserve this?

The little birthday boy sighed, wiping his tears from his eyes.

“Maybe they’re right...” he croaked, “M-Maybe I...I do deserve this..”

Gregory then buried his face into his knees, his eyes beginning to sting again.

“I’m all alone...” he shuttered, “Tr-Trapped in here... forever.”

“You’re not alone.”

Gregory’s head shot up. His heart began to pound quickly again. He looked around, trying to find the source of the voice.

“Who...” Gregory panicked, “Who’s there?!”

“Do not be afraid, little one,” the voice softly continued, “I’d never hurt you.”

The voice...it was rumbled like thunder and as gruff as rusty metal, but it was gentle and quiet as a butterfly. And most of all, it sounded familiar.

“Gl-Glamrock Fre—“ Gregory started, only to be interrupted again.

“Let’s make this more comfortable,” the voice proposed, “They’re gone now, so it’s safe to come out.”

There was a soft click outside. A click of a button? Gregory’s heart fluttered. Could this really be him? There was a hiss and more clicks. Gregory could feel cool and new air flush against his face. The chest cavity was now open.

Part 2 coming very soon!

[silverlightqueen]

Ozone 🦋

‘I need some reasons to live, maybe you could show me some.’

Phases - Hwang Hyunjin X Chase Atlantic

Rating: M (heavy angst, fluff, slightly suggestive)

Warnings: substance abuse, drug addiction, depression and discussion of suicidal behaviours/thoughts, toxic relationship, mention of alcohol, strong language

Word Count: 9.3k+ 

a/n: and here is the third (and my favourite) part of phases, my hhjxchaseatlantic series! please proceed with caution because this fic contains some serious and potentially triggering topics! I really hope you guys enjoy this, lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist! the biggest thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess for proofreading this, love you sis xo

taglist 🦋: @diue @shesfuckedinthehead @danyxthirstae01 @linours @titleisyettobemade @jikooksgirl19​ @straytannies​ @silverlightprincess​

‘I’m so sorry, Chaer, I gotta go, they’re blowing up my phone, I-’ ‘It’s okay, y/n, don’t worry about it. I’ll finish my story after,’ Chaeryeong says softly, patting the other girl’s shoulder comfortingly, and she mirrors Chaeryeong’s smile as she gets up from the table, trying to leave without Lia noticing her. She needs to be quick because she doesn’t wanna miss anything, so she slips around the edges of the room, hoping not to get caught in a conversation with one of Lia’s drunk uncles.

The sun is just beginning to set, the sky streaked with the most beautiful pastel colours, and a gentle breeze blows, kissing her exposed skin. The dresses Lia chose for them are so gorgeous – sea blue layers of floaty chiffon with thin straps and leg slits – and they’re perfect for this warm summer evening. The doorman offers her his arm to help her, and her heels click against the front steps of the manor house that Lia’s family have rented. She continues walking, right onto the grass, to make sure she’s stood a sufficient distance from the front door and the staff, not wanting anyone to overhear her conversation.

‘Where the fuck are you guys? The speeches are done, they’re about to serve the starters, and you idiots still aren’t here!’ she hisses angrily down the phone, Jisung silent for a moment before he says, ‘If any of you had answered your phones, then you’d know where we’ve been. And anyway, don’t blame all of us. It’s your idiot boyfriend that’s the problem.’ She takes a deep breath, already feeling her eyes fill with tears. ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’ ‘Okay, well, whatever the fuck he is to you.’ ‘It doesn’t matter what he is to me – he’s your best friend. But anyway, what’s he done?’ ‘He’s blown out his mind again. Taken so many xans that I’m surprised he hasn’t passed out.’

She takes a deep breath, trying not to scream, and closes her eyes for a moment to compose herself. ‘Where are you?’ ‘At your place. We went straight there after the ceremony, to pick up the present like you asked, but he decided to pop a few while he waited in the car. They haven’t fully kicked in yet, so we’re waiting for him to get over the peak.’ ‘No, you can’t wait. You’re gonna have to just bring him.’

‘…y/n, are you insane? He’s gonna be higher than a kite in, like, 30 minutes!’ ‘I know, but you can’t miss this! You already missed the speeches, and Lia will start asking where you guys are soon. Our table is literally right at the front of the room, and there are four empty seats. It’s very noticeable, and very embarrassing that four of her closest friends are a no-show at her wedding!’ ‘Yeah, but we can’t bring him while he’s like this!’ ‘We’ll leave him in the car and take turns to look after him until he’s come down.’ ‘Seriously?’ ‘Yes! It’s better than you guys missing her wedding! Get here now.’ ‘Okay, okay, we’re on our way. We’ll be there in 20.’ ‘Make it 15.’ ‘y/n-’ ‘I’m not kidding, Sung!’ ‘Fine, 15. You’re paying any speed tickets, though.’ ‘Fine, whatever, just get here.’

The line clicks off and she blinks a few times to clear her vision before heading back up into the big ballroom, slipping back to her seat. ‘Where are they?’ Yeji asks the second she sits down, all of them waiting for her answer. ‘Hyunjin got high, so they were waiting for him to come back down before they came,’ she says quietly, embarrassed at his behaviour, and all of her friends look furious.

‘Is he fucking kidding? On Lia’s wedding day? How fucking selfish can he be?’ Ryujin hisses angrily, and all she can do is nod in agreement. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with him. But I told them to come anyway, and he can just wait in the car. It’s not fair that the other three should miss Lia’s big day because of him,’ she says softly, none of them wanting any of the other wedding guests to hear.

‘I swear to God, y/n, you need to drop him. He’s a fucking waste of space, and I’m sick of his bullshit,’ Chaeryeong says, and the other girl doesn’t say anything, looking at the empty seat beside her with thinly veiled misery. ‘Um, he’s our friend,’ Minho says, the girls turning their irritated gazes to him. ‘He’s our friend too, but it doesn’t mean what they said isn’t true. He is a waste of space, and we are sick of his bullshit,’ Yeji says softly, the boys exchanging glances before nodding in agreement. ‘Yeah, I guess. We just… feel bad for him,’ Changbin says, and Yuna scoffs. ‘Yeah, I did too. When we were in high school. We’re adults now, and we all have our lives together. He’s the only one that doesn’t. He needs to grow up like the rest of us,’ she says drily, everyone on the table in agreement that he’s a total mess.

It’s all too much for her, hearing all of this out loud, and she gets up from the table suddenly, all of them turning their gazes to her, guilt and concern appearing on their faces. ‘y/n, are y-’ ‘I’m fine, I just… gotta… go,’ she says faintly, getting up and heading towards the exit, stumbling out into the corridor with tears filling her eyes again. She makes her way to the bathroom on shaky legs, smiling weakly at Lia’s aunties that are congregated by the mirrors, gossiping about so-and-so’s dress and so-and-so’s new haircut.

She locks herself into a cubicle and checks Jisung’s location on her phone, breathing a sigh of relief when she sees his little dot moving closer to her own. She takes a minute to calm herself down, trying not to let their words about the boy she’s in love with replay in her mind, but she can’t help it. He is selfish, and a waste of space. It may be hard to hear, but it’s all true, and he’s never done anything to prove otherwise, never even attempted to show everyone they’re wrong about him. He’s a mess, and he knows it just as well as everyone else does.

She doesn’t know how long she’s sat on the lid of the toilet, watching Jisung’s dot on her phone, but when she finally leaves the cubicle, the bathroom is completely empty and eerily quiet. She stares at herself in the mirror for a while, and a small but genuine smile appears on her face at her reflection. She woke up super early this morning to make sure she looked especially nice, and she definitely achieved it – her makeup is flawless despite the tears that have threatened to spill twice already today, and her hair is perfect, unaffected by the slight breeze that’s been blowing since this morning.

She rolls her shoulders and neck to release some of the tension in her body, the crack of her bones echoing in the empty room. She puts her phone on the side, washing her hands with the expensive jasmine hand-soap, and just as she finishes drying her hands, the door opens. ‘Ah, y/n! My darling, you look gorgeous!’ Lia’s grandmother says with a big smile, the girl letting out a little exclamation of excitement as she wraps her arms around the small woman. ‘Thank you, Mrs Choi! And you look gorgeous too!’ ‘Oh, thank you, dear! Lia chose this dress for me – it seems she has an eye for good dresses, doesn’t she? You all looked so lovely stood beside her in your beautiful dresses earlier.’ ‘Not as lovely as the bride herself, of course.’ ‘Of course, of course! She looks stunning. I feel like I’ve been on the verge of tears all day,’ Lia’s grandmother laughs, and the girl truly means it when she says, ‘me too.’

‘It is an emotional day indeed. I look forward to the day that you get married, y/n. I’ll be able to spend the day getting a little too drunk like your grandmother has today,’ Mrs Choi gossips, the two of them giggling together. ‘I look forward to that day too, Mrs Choi. Lia’s wedding has just made me so much more excited for my own. I can’t wait.’ ‘Well, I don’t think you’ll have to wait too long.’ ‘Um… I’m not so sure about that,’ the girl says, getting a suspicious look in response. ‘Don’t tell me you and Hyunjin have broken up.’ ‘We’ve never been together, which isn’t even the start of our problems. He’s… just an idiot.’ ‘All boys are idiots, y/n. The sooner you come to terms with it, the better.’ ‘He’s more of an idiot than the rest of them, Mrs Choi. He’s not even my boyfriend, and I’m just fed up of him,’ she vents, Lia’s grandmother raising an eyebrow at her.

‘Sweetheart, does somebody need to have a word with the little shit? Because if he’s going around behind your back, Mr Choi will s-’ ‘No, he’s not… going around behind my back. He just hasn’t got his life together and it’s starting to really affect our relationship, if I can even call it that.’ ‘Oh, dear. Maybe you’re better off without him.’ ‘I am better off without him.’ ‘Well, I’m glad you know it. The day you decide to actually do something about it, let me know. Lia’s got some single cousins an-’ ‘Thank you for the offer, Mrs Choi, but I don’t need you to matchmake for me.’ ‘You say that now, but just wait,’ Lia’s grandmother says with a mischievous grin, the girl rolling her eyes amusedly. ‘We’ll see.’ ‘We shall. Now you go back and join your friends, sweetheart. I’ll catch you on the dancefloor later,’ the old lady says with a little shake of her hips, the girl bursting into laughter as she heads out of the bathroom.

She checks Jisung’s location again, and he’s only a couple minutes away, so she heads back out to the front of the manor house, admiring the vast grounds with its high trees, vibrant flowers and clear lake as she waits for them to arrive. As soon as she sees the car, she heads towards the driveway, the doorman helping her down the steps again. The second the boys start getting out of the car, she begins fussing about them. They all look dishevelled, and she’d rather not know why.

‘Don’t any of you know how to answer your damn phones?’ Felix says with half-hearted annoyance, letting the girl tighten his tie around his neck. ‘Lia’s family were doing their speeches, and then everyone was coming around and greeting us, so we couldn’t exactly start talking to you idiots on the phone.’ ‘We’re not the idiots, y/n,’ Seungmin says drily, standing still to let her straighten the flower on his lapel. ‘I know,’ she says softly, not even wanting to look in the car and see him. ‘How is he anyway?’ ‘He’s at his peak, so he should be near sober in about an hour, hour and a half,’ Jisung says, rolling his eyes as the girl fixes his hair. ‘Right, fine. We’ll come get him in an hour then. Let’s go.’

‘Woah, woah, hold on. We can’t just leave him in the car by himself,’ Seungmin says, and she raises an eyebrow at him. ‘Why not? If he doesn’t wanna be left in a car by himself, he shouldn’t get high before our best friend’s wedding reception.’ ‘Yeah, I get that, but what if he does something stupid?’ Felix asks, the girl sighing. ‘What do you suggest then?’ ‘We’ll… take shifts watching him. I’ll go first,’ Jisung says, and she shakes her head with wide eyes. ‘Are you insane? You need to go in and say hi to everyone, and then send someone else out, one of the boys. I’ll keep an eye on him for now,’ she says reluctantly, the boys exchanging a glance.

‘If there’s anyone that shouldn’t do a shift, y/n, it’s you.’ ‘Yeah, I know that, Jisung, but no one else is here, so it’ll have to be me. Just go, stop wasting time. If anyone asks where he is, say he’s really ill and he’s sleeping it off in the car,’ she says quickly, taking the car keys from Seungmin and shooing them away, watching as they head up towards the house. ‘You look very hot, by the way! As always!’ Jisung shouts over his shoulder with a grin and she rolls her eyes at him, flattered but most certainly not in the mood. ‘Miss, would you like me to take the car around to the car park for you?’ the valet says, suddenly appearing by her side, and she jumps slightly in surprise. ‘Um, actually… my friend’s still in the car – he’s not very well so we’re just gonna get him to sleep it off and take turns keeping an eye on him. Is there anywhere we can park the car where it’s closer to the house?’ she asks, and the valet thinks for a moment. ‘There’s a little clearing over this side of the house, Miss. I can drive the car there if you’d like,’ he offers, the girl nodding and handing him the keys.

She follows behind the car, walking carefully along the gravel, and thanks the valet profusely as he hands the keys back to her. She wonders whether or not she should get into the car, but the decision is made for her when Hyunjin rolls down the back window, looking at her with an unreadable expression, the whites of his eyes discoloured with red and his bottom lip split. That explains why the boys were all looking dishevelled – they must have gotten into a… scuffle with him. She doesn’t say anything, looking away from him after a moment, and he chuckles. ‘Don’t I get a lecture?’ he asks amusedly, and she doesn’t even dignify his question with a response. ‘Silent treatment?’ ‘Shut the fuck up, Hyunjin.’ He just chuckles in response, and she wants nothing more than to land a heavy punch on his annoyingly perfect face. Instead, she leans against the car and looks down at her phone, scrolling unseeingly through the pictures that Jeongin took of the girls earlier.

‘Why are you always so high-strung, babe? Just relax. Take a xanny,’ he says, smile audible in his voice, and she looks at him with pure disgust. ‘It’s not funny. Not one thing about this is funny.’ ‘It’s a little bit funny.’ ‘You’re fucking sick in the head,’ she spits angrily, and he looks taken aback for a moment, quickly smoothing out his features into that arrogant expression he wears all the time. ‘Wow, that’s harsh. What have I done to you? It’s Lia’s wedding – she’s the only one that can be angry with me,’ he says amusedly, and she feels her eyes filling with tears again. ‘No, actually, I can be angry at you too. It’s fucking humiliating having everyone look at the empty seat next to mine, your empty seat, wondering where the fuck my dirtbag of a boyfriend is!’

‘I’m not your boyfriend,’ he says quickly, the girl letting out a humourless laugh, furious that that’s the thing he decides to address. ‘Yeah, you’ve made that pretty fucking obvious.’ ‘Listen, y/n, I don’t get why you’re so upset that the seat next to you is empty. Just… move seats,’ he grins, as though it’s simple, and she wants to rip his soft black hair out of his stupid head. ‘That’s not the problem, Hyunjin. It’s a lonely feeling.’ ‘You’re sat with your best friends. They’re keeping you company. How can you say you’re lonely?’ ‘They’re all sat next to their boyfriends and girlfriends. The only empty seat on the table, now that the other three are there, is the one next to mine. It’s lonely because they all have their significant others there.’ ‘Well, maybe you should get a boyfriend then. It’s not my fault that you’re single,’ he smiles serenely, and she feels her heart break.

He just called her single. They’ve been messing around since high school, and never have either of them said that they’re single. It was always ‘it’s complicated’, or ‘yeah, we’re kinda together’, or even ‘I’m seeing someone’. Never that they’re single. And he knows that. He’s saying it on purpose, to hurt her – she’s sure of it – and she’s never hated him more than in this moment. Her eyes shine with tears and he just looks back at her smugly with his slightly bloodshot eyes. His body is so accustomed to being high that it’s only ever his eyes that change. His body is never slow or sluggish, his words are never slurred, he never becomes uncoordinated or dizzy. The only sign of him being up in the clouds is his eyes being tinged with a little red.

Changbin appears, almost out of nowhere, and he looks between them with silent concern. ‘Does Lia know anything?’ Hyunjin asks, directing the question at both of them, but the girl ignores him. ‘No. She’s not stupid, though – she’ll realise soon enough,’ Changbin says with no warmth or kindness, and Hyunjin almost looks guilty when he asks, ‘Are you gonna cover for me?’ ‘We’re not gonna ruin her wedding day. So… yeah, we’ll have to cover for you,’ Changbin answers quietly, and the girl lets out a little humourless laugh. ‘You fucking owe us one, you piece of shit.’ ‘I owe you all more than just one. Especially you, y/n. I owe you hundreds. You never stop doing things for me,’ he says with a grin, as though it’s something to be proud of, and it makes her feel sick – it’s like he’s mocking her, making her seem like she’s just his little fan, who follows him around and does whatever he asks.

‘You head back inside, y/n. I’ll stay with this dickhead,’ Changbin says softly, putting a gentle hand on her arm, and she nods, not wasting another moment before heading towards the front of the manor. ‘Tell whoever’s on the next shift to bring me a bottle of vodka!’ Hyunjin calls after the girl and she bites down on her lip, to stop herself from both screaming at him and bursting into tears, feeling that Changbin’s ‘shut your fucking mouth before I shove my fist in it, you fucking moron’ is more than enough of a scolding.

When she re-enters the ballroom, the atmosphere has livened up considerably, the guests beginning to mix between tables, the music a little louder and the lights a little lower. She heads back to the table with her friends, Lia sat there, and she feels a little bit of panic when Lia spots her, the bride’s eyes narrowing. ‘What’s going on with him?’ Lia asks the second the other girl sits down, and she waits for her response with a raised eyebrow, the others on the table silent. ‘These guys already told you, right?’ ‘No, they didn’t. They’re saying that nothing’s wrong, which is bullshit. What’s going on, y/n?’ The girl decides she’s not gonna lie for him, she’s not gonna cover for him anymore, and she takes a deep sigh before saying, ‘he’s high, Lia. I’m sorry.’

Lia shakes her head disappointedly, sadness in her eyes, but there isn’t one hint of surprise in her reaction at all, which hurts. No one’s ever surprised by his behaviour. No one ever expects anything better of him. No one ever thinks he might make a change, but it’s probably because he never will.

‘I even told him he could get high after my family are all gone. They’re leaving at 9 and then we’ve got the place to ourselves all night. He just had to wait a few more hours,’ Lia says angrily, the others all shaking their heads in mutual disappointment. ‘Where is he? I wanna speak to him,’ she says abruptly, getting up from her seat without a second’s hesitation, and all her friends exchange alarmed glances. ‘Woah, Lia, hold on. Changbin’s with him, but you can’t go. It’s your wedding – you can’t just disappear,’ Yeji says, and Lia looks like she’s debating it with herself.

‘I… I wanna go and speak to him so bad. I don’t know whether I wanna knock him out or give him a hug, but I just need to see him,’ she says distractedly, as though her thoughts are too loud for her to focus on her words, and the others look at her with incredulity. ‘You wanna hug him?’ Jeongin asks disbelievingly, voicing all of their thoughts, and she lets out an exasperated sigh. ‘You guys are all so quick to get angry at him. Do you never stop to wonder why he’s always high or drunk?’ she asks, sitting back down again, and everyone rolls their eyes.

‘Lia, it’s nice of you to be concerned about him, but I really wouldn’t try and think about him in a psychological way. He’s too far gone for our help now. I mean, it’s literally your wedding day, and he couldn’t stay sober,’ Ryujin says slowly, and Lia’s eyes widen. ‘But that’s what I’m trying to say! It’s my wedding day… and he couldn’t stay sober. Why has nobody stopped to think about that? What is hurting him so much that he couldn’t stay sober for his best friend’s wedding?’ Lia says slowly, her friends silent as her words sink in, and their anger is quickly replaced by panic and guilt.

‘y/n, has he… spoken to you at all? Mentioned anything to you? I know you two aren’t exactly… well, I don’t even know what you are, but he confides in you more than anyone else,’ Minho says gently, and the girl tries to quieten her concerns, thinking back to anything she should’ve noticed. ‘I can’t think of anything. I mean… there’s the usual stuff he’s talked about since high school – how he gets high to get rid of the pain – but nothing… out of the blue. Nothing bad enough to make him get high in the middle of Lia’s wedding,’ she says quietly, desperately wracking her brains but coming up empty-handed.

‘Maybe we should try and speak to him about it? Try and get him to talk?’ ‘He doesn’t talk, Lix. He won’t talk, to any of us. Except y/n,’ Chaeryeong says gently, all of them silent as they try to think. ‘Will you speak to him, y/n? I’m just worried now that Lia’s said that.’ ‘Trust me, Yuna, I’d love to speak to him, but I don’t think I’ll be able to get anything out of him. I was just with him and… he was horrible to me. Worse than he’s ever been before. I told him it isn’t a nice feeling to be sat in here with the seat next to me empty, and he said that maybe I should get a boyfriend, and it isn’t his fault that I’m single,’ she says quietly, all of them gasping in shock.

‘That’s it. I don’t give a fuck if he’s struggling or going through something difficult – that’s no excuse to be a dick.’ ‘Jisung, please, calm do-’ ‘No, Lia! How many nights has she stayed with him? How many episodes of his has she stuck by him through? How many times has she saved his damn life? Everything she’s ever done for him, and he thinks he can speak to her like that? It doesn’t run! I’m gonna kick his ass!’ Jisung says angrily, standing up, and all the others start panicking and stand up too, trying to get him to calm down. ‘Jisung, if you don’t sit your ass down and shut up, I’ll kick your ass,’ Lia hisses, all of them suddenly conscious of the stares they’re getting from the other wedding guests, and they all quickly sit back down.

‘You don’t get to choose how we deal with him. y/n does,’ Lia says calmly, all of their gazes turning to the girl in question, and she hesitates, taking a few moments to think about it. She wants nothing more than to see him get his due, for being such a dick to her for so long, but she loves him too much to abandon him, or hurt him, at a time when he could be hurting more than he ever has before.

‘We’ll carry on doing the shifts until he’s come down... and then, I’ll speak to him. Only when he’s sobered up. The next person to go out needs to take his drugs off him, if he has any – I don’t want him to take more while he’s coming down. I’ll bring him in after speaking to him,’ she says, telling them the best plan she can think of, and they all nod. ‘Okay, y/n. That’s what we’ll do. I’ll take the next shift,’ Chan says, the others volunteering themselves to look after him, and she feels herself zoning out, worrying about him again. ‘Hey, y/n. Stop stressing. We’re gonna look after him, okay? Team effort to… save Hyunjin,’ Felix says softly with a small smile, and the girl nods, convincing herself that they’ll be able to do it. That they can save Hyunjin.

‘My eyes must have been deceiving me all night, because I haven’t seen you step foot onto that dancefloor,’ Lia’s father says from where he’s appeared behind her seat, and she smiles up at him. ‘Hey, Mr Choi.’ ‘Hi, sweetheart,’ he says, sliding into the empty seat beside her. ‘Why the sad face?’ ‘Oh, I’m not sad. I’m just… reminiscing. It feels like the end of an era,’ she says, glancing over at Lia and wondering when she grew up so much. Wondering when all of them grew up so much.

‘I’ve been thinking the same thing. I can’t help but wish the time hadn’t gone so quickly. I miss those old days. When you girls would play outside for hours each day, all summer long. It feels like just yesterday that me and the other parents waved you all goodbye on your first day of high school, and here we are. At Lia’s wedding,’ he says with a sad smile, both of them watching Lia dance with the biggest smile on her face, looking radiant in her beautiful dress. ‘It feels surreal.’ ‘I completely agree. These years have just flown by – it just feels wrong that you guys are getting married and settling down. Make sure you don’t get married for a long time, y/n. I’m not ready to see you get married yet,’ he says with a grin, the girl bursting into laughter.

‘I can’t wait too long. You’re starting to get old an-’ ‘You cheeky little-’ he exclaims, hitting the girl with a napkin. Lia’s old aunties shoot them dirty looks and they try to stifle their laughter, but it only makes everything funnier, the two of them giggling into their hands like little schoolkids. ‘You might be joking, but I’m afraid you’re right, y/n. We are getting old, so don’t wait too long. I think… in ten years should be fine,’ he says with a grin, her mouth falling open. ‘Ten years? I’ll be ancient by then!’ ‘Watch your mouth,’ he says warningly, an amused glint in his eyes.

‘If I’m being totally honest, I can see you getting married next. I think someone out there will have enough sense to put a ring on you soon,’ he says, trying to sound all mystical, but he makes it sound like a threat instead, and she can’t help but laugh. ‘No, I don’t think so. I feel like I’m destined to just be a bridesmaid for the rest of my life.’ ‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous! You’ll find the right one. Maybe it’s that boyfriend of yours,’ he says tentatively, as though testing the waters, and when she remains silent, her smile slipping a little, he backtracks.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him up.’ ‘No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. It’s… silly.’ ‘I don’t think things are ever silly with you and that boy, y/n. You two seem to have problems that are more serious than any other couple I know. And you’re not even married!’ ‘We’re not even together at all, Mr Choi. He called me single today,’ she says with a sad smile, and his mouth falls open. ‘Where is he?’ he says, clenching his hands into fists menacingly, and she laughs, shaking her head. ‘No, no, it’s okay. I’ll get over it,’ she says, but he’s distracted, looking around the room.

‘Okay, seriously… where is he? I haven’t seen him all night, and I can’t see him now. And this is supposed to be his seat, right?’ he asks, obviously picking up on how the table settings in front of the seat are untouched, how he’s the first person to have sat in that seat all night, and she nods reluctantly, the man shaking his head. ‘Where is he, y/n?’ ‘He’s been an idiot, and… we’re dealing with it,’ she says vaguely, and he raises an eyebrow.

The kids have managed to hide Hyunjin’s addiction from all of their parents for years. The parents have their suspicions, of course, but it’s never been confirmed to them, because they’ve never seen him do drugs. They’ve seen him whilst he’s high, without even realising – he’s pretty much himself when he’s high, just a little hyper or chill – so he’s managed to get away with his addiction for years.

Before Mr Choi can reply, Seungmin’s voice comes from behind them. ‘y/n. You’re up,’ he says gravely, and she takes a deep breath. ‘He’s definitely okay for me to talk to him?’ she asks, Seungmin nodding. ‘I’m sorry to leave you, Mr Choi, but I gotta…’ ‘Don’t worry about it. You have my phone number so call me if something happens. Okay?’ he says, obviously wanting to intervene but not wanting to overstep, and she nods with a small smile.

The walk to the car feels like it stretches over a lifetime, her nerves growing and her legs feeling weaker with each step. It’s past sunset now, but there’s still the warm glow of a beautiful dusk over the manor grounds, the cooling air making her shiver. When she approaches Seungmin’s car, she sees that Hyunjin is sat on the boot, looking towards the lake with a blank face. She feels relief flood through her when he turns his gaze towards her and his eyes aren’t red anymore. This is him sober, or as sober as he’s been in a long time. Lia wasn’t exaggerating when she said that he’s always high or drunk – he even showed up to the ceremony this morning with the faint scent of vodka on his lips.

Neither of them say anything as she joins him, settling beside him on the boot, making sure her dress isn’t touching the floor. ‘That dress really suits you. You look… amazing,’ he murmurs quietly, looking back at the lake. ‘Thanks. And you look handsome in your suit,’ she says softly, feeling her heart flutter a little when his lips quirk up at the corners and he turns his head away with embarrassment.

He’s dressed in a standard black tux with a white shirt underneath it, but the outfit’s simplicity doesn’t stop it from accentuating his lean and slim figure nicely, the colour setting off his honey skin. His soft black hair falls over his forehead into his eyes, and silver rings adorn his long fingers. The tie hanging from his neck is the same blue as her dress, and it reminds her of when they matched his tie and her dress at high school prom all those years ago, the memory bringing a fond smile to her face.

‘Thanks,’ he says quietly, and they fall back into silence. A sudden gust of wind blows, carrying the lilt of faint birdsong, and the trees lean from its force, their leaves brushing against each other. She shivers, bringing her arms around herself, hands clutching onto her own shoulders, and he instantly begins to shrug off his jacket, handing it to her without looking in her direction. She thanks him softly, taking the jacket and pulling it around herself, feeling the echo of his body warmth in its inner lining. He rarely wears any aftershave or cologne – his natural scent is more than enough to make him smell good – but the scent of the Dior spray she bought him for his last birthday fills her senses.

‘I’m really sorry,’ he says suddenly, eyes still on the lake, and she lets out a gentle laugh. ‘It’s not me you need to apologise to. It’s not my wedding – it’s Lia’s,’ she says gently, no anger in her voice at all. She can’t be angry at him when he’s all subdued like this. ‘I know, and I owe Lia an apology too. But… I’ve owed you an apology for a long time, y/n. For so many things.’ She doesn’t say anything, not quite sure what to say, and he takes her silence as a sign to continue, neither of them looking at each other.

‘I… I’m sorry I said to you that you should get a boyfriend. I shouldn’t have called you single – it was nasty, and it wasn’t true. I don’t really know what we are, but we are something,’ he says in a small voice, sounding earnest, and she just sighs. ‘Then… why did you say it? Why did you… want to be nasty to me?’ she asks shakily, tears welling up in her eyes again, and he’s completely silent, showing no sign of answering her question.

‘I don’t understand. Every time you do these things to me, all I can think is that I just don’t understand. I deserve better than you – that’s what you say – but no matter what you do, I still want you, and I don’t understand that either. Why do I keep coming back to you when you treat me like shit? I’m doing it right now. Look how you spoke to me earlier, and I’m sat out here with you instead of being with Lia on her wedding day. Why do I do this? And why do you do this to yourself? You run from the person you need the most. No matter how much I think about it, I just don’t know why you do it. But it has to stop, Hyunjin. It has to stop,’ she says tearily, sobs breaking up her words, and he feels his heart breaking as he listens to her.

He wordlessly moves closer to her, pulling her into his arms, and she rests her head on his chest, trying her best to calm herself down as he comforts her, running his hand over her hair soothingly. ‘I was good this morning. Yeah, I took a couple shots before I left the house, but they were just to give me energy after the pills I took last night. But I was good, I was happy,’ he begins, voice quiet, and she feels a glimmer of hope at the prospect that he’s finally gonna open up to her, tell her something of substance rather than the usually vague things he tells her (she wanted to slam her head into the wall that time he spent ages building up to a big confession for it to be ‘I stay high because I don’t like being sober’).

‘And then, after the ceremony, while you guys were taking bridesmaids pictures, I overheard your parents talking to Ryujin’s parents. They were talking about how happy they are for Lia, how beautiful she looks, and then the conversation changed to you,’ he continues, tears appearing in his eyes and the girl waits nervously for the rest of the story.

He relives the moment as he tells her about it. How he heard her name come up in the conversation, his heart skipping a beat just at the mention of her, and he started listening a little more eagerly. How he couldn’t help the smile on his face when they spoke about how beautiful she’ll look on her wedding day. How he felt like he’d had his heart ripped out when her father mentioned his worries about who his daughter will marry, and how he hopes it won’t be her ‘no-good deadbeat failure of a boyfriend’ because he feels – no, he knows – that ending up with Hyunjin will mean she’ll end up heartbroken.

She bursts into tears as soon as he finishes telling her, and he’s so endeared by her reaction that he can’t help but chuckle, holding her just a little closer as the tears spill down his face. ‘Hyunjin, why didn’t you just tell me?’ she asks quietly once the sobs have stopped forcing their way up her throat. She sits back up, their shoulders touching, and he intertwines his hand with hers, a sad smile on his face. ‘What was I supposed to say? ‘I overheard your dad talking about how much he hates me and my first good mood this entire year is ruined because of it’? That’s not exactly a great conversation to have at your best friend’s wedding.’ ‘Yeah, but it’s a better conversation to have than the one we’re having right now,’ she points out, and he chuckles, nodding in agreement.

‘I know this probably won’t change anything, but you should know that my dad’s opinion on you doesn’t matter to me-’ ‘But, y/n, it’s true. He’s right. I am a no-good deadbeat failure. My life is meaningless. I don’t bring anything to the table. I don’t contribute anything positive to your life, to anyone’s life. You probably would end up heartbroken if you married me. Which is why you can’t marry me. You can’t be with me, y/n. I know I say this all the time, but you do deserve better than someone like me. I wish I was more of a man, but I’m not. All I do is neglect you, and put myself above you,’ he says softly, and she just stares at him with such an intense mix of emotions – anger, sorrow, guilt, hurt, confusion, longing – that she doesn’t even know what to say.

‘But I love you,’ she whispers eventually, and he brushes back her hair with an affectionate smile. ‘And I love you too. More than I have ever loved anything. More than anyone has ever loved anything. You are my entire life, y/n. And that’s the problem. My life is you, drugs and alcohol. You have so much more in your life – you have such a potential for success – but being with me will only drag you down. It’s what I’m already doing to you – slowly dragging you down.’ ‘But Hyunjin, you have such a potential for success too! You could have so much fulfilment in your life. You could be so much more.’ ‘But I’m not, and I don’t think I ever will be. I don’t think I’ll ever get sober,’ he whispers hesitantly, fear in his eyes, and it’s so clear to her in that moment that he hates this. The thought of living like this for the rest of his life scares him, but he feels like there’s nothing he can do to change that.

She’s silent for a moment, debating whether or not she should say what she wants to say, but she throws caution to wind and decides to contradict everything she and their friends have been saying to him for years. ‘You don’t have to get sober,’ she says slowly, his eyes widening. ‘What?’ ‘I know I’ve been saying that you need to get sober, but I’ve been thinking about it, and… it’s like weight-loss,’ she says, the boy laughing. ‘Getting sober is like weight-loss?’ ‘Yeah! Think about it; if you go from eating junk food every day and never exercising, to never eating any junk food and working out for three hours every day, it’s just not gonna work. You have to do it slowly, you know? Make lifestyle changes instead. Slowly incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Learn healthier recipes and make better choices with food that you buy.’

He processes her words, holding back laughter at her metaphor, and asks, ‘So you’re saying… I need to just slowly start taking less drugs?’ ‘That’s exactly what I’m saying! We shouldn’t expect you to get sober overnight – it probably won’t work if we try to do it like that. But if you just start taking less and less, then it’ll be an easier process. And I don’t even expect you to get completely sober. A couple xans or a joint at a party, or even a couple lines wouldn’t kill you. That’s what the other boys do. It’s about moderation. It’s about not getting high again as soon as you feel yourself coming down,’ she says pointedly, and he lets out a sigh.

‘It sounds like a great idea, y/n, but… the drugs keep me alive. They might be slowly killing me, but they’re also keeping me alive. As soon as I feel myself coming down, it all comes back. The hurt, the trauma, the self-hatred, the loneliness and the crippling pain of my life. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but there’s something very wrong with me, because when I’m sober, I want to die. When I’m sober, I don’t have any reasons to live,’ he confides in a gentle voice, holding her hand tight, and her heart sinks at his admission. ‘Well… maybe I could give you some?’ she whispers, his lips curling up into a small smile, and he puts an arm around her, pulling her close and pressing his lips to her temple. ‘Maybe you could, angel. I should at least let you try. But I can’t promise it’ll work,’ he murmurs against her skin, and she feels her heart lift with hope. This is more than he’s ever let her try before.

‘Okay. We’ll start with trying to… fix you tomorrow,’ she says, and his eyes widen. ‘Tomorrow?’ ‘Yes, tomorrow. If we keep putting it off, we’ll never get around to it. Tonight, you can go inside, say hi to everyone and apologise for your… antics, and when all of Lia’s family have left, you can get high with the boys. Then, after we see Lia off on her honeymoon, we’re starting with… ‘Operation: Help Hyunjin’. Okay?’ she asks, and he nods with a small smile. ‘Okay.’ ‘Promise me you’ll try. If I show up to your house in the morning and you’re not there, like all those other times, I’m gonna be really upset. I love you, but I can’t put up with you running from me for much longer. So I want you to actually try this time.’

‘I promise I won’t run from you. And I promise I’ll try, for you.’ ‘No. It’s not for me – it’s for you. It’s for your happiness, your future. The motivation for this needs to be you. You owe it to yourself to live a better life. Nobody else but you.’ ‘Okay. I’ll promise I’ll try. For me,’ he smiles, tilting her head up to press a gentle kiss to her lips, making her heart flutter. He chuckles at the dazed look on her face, jumping down from the boot of the car. He puts two big hands on her waist and helps to lift her down, leading her back up to the wedding.

‘You look so cute in my jacket,’ he chuckles, and she instantly begins taking it off. ‘No, angel, it’s cold!’ ‘My dress is so pretty, though. I don’t wanna cover it up. And we’re going inside now anyway,’ she says, handing him his jacket back, and he pulls it on as his eyes trail up and down her body. ‘I guess the dress is pretty. Not as pretty as you, though,’ he murmurs, and she rolls her eyes, unable to hold back a giggle. ‘That was a terrible line.’ ‘Who says it was a line? The only lines I do are coke.’ ‘…Not funny, Jin.’ ‘Sorry.’

They walk towards the front door of the manor holding hands, their fingers interlaced, and Hyunjin spots a little flower bush a few feet away. ‘Hold on,’ he says, letting go of her hand and picking one of the flowers. They’re blush pink, the same colour as the corsage he bought her from prom, and he holds it up to her with a grin, a small smile on her face as he lifts up her hair to tuck it behind her ear. It might not match the dress, but he thinks she looks beautiful, and she’s so touched that he remembers such a small detail from so long ago. Pink peonies have been her favourite flowers since he bought her that corsage, because every time she sees one, she thinks of him.

‘You look perfect,’ he murmurs, pressing his lips to hers again, and she sighs gently into the kiss, his lips curling into a smirk as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer. ‘Wanna come back to mine tonight?’ he asks once they break apart, and she rolls her eyes. ‘Really?’ ‘Yes. Your dad doesn’t want us to get married? Cool. He never said anything about us having a kid,’ he grins, and she laughs. ‘Very funny.’ ‘I’m kinda not kidding,’ he says with bright eyes, and her mouth falls open. ‘Seriously?’ ‘Yeah. I’ve always wanted a kid with you. They’ll be the most amazing kid on earth,’ he grins, the girl still not sure whether he’s joking or not, and she’s silent for a long few moments. ‘Fine, I’ll make you a deal. You get to some form of sobriety, and then I’ll get pregnant. How does that sound?’ she asks, and he lets out a whoop of joy, sweeping her up into his arms and spinning her, their laughter carrying in the wind. ‘Sounds perfect to me, y/n.’

The bridal march begins suddenly, the guests all falling quiet, and her bridesmaids make their way in one by one. Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryeong and Yuna all have genuinely happy smiles on their faces, wearing matching dresses the same colour as the blush pink peony bouquets that they all hold, bouquets designed by the bride herself. The flowers are a main point of decoration – no matter where you look in the room, you’ll see a pink peony within your peripheral vision.

Hyunjin feels anticipation building inside him, unable to keep the smile off his face when his son enters after the bridesmaids, throwing pink flower petals with a mischievous smile on his face. You’d think he’d resemble Hyunjin, and he does in a way, with his soft fluffy hair and handsome good looks, but when Hyunjin looks at him, all he can see is her. Their son got her beautiful eyes, her beautiful smile, her beautiful heart, and he couldn’t be happier about it.

She enters after their son, the entire room gasping at how beautiful she looks. Hyunjin feels his eyes fill with tears, not at her perfect dress or perfect hair and makeup, but her perfect smile, complete and utter happiness on her face. He desperately tries to blink back the tears, eyes flitting to her father beside her, their arms linked together. He looks a lot older than Hyunjin remembers, but looking around, he realises they all look a lot older than he remembers. It’s been a long and difficult few years for all of them, her most of all.

With each step she takes, he feels himself getting more and more emotional, in disbelief at how perfect she looks, how happy she looks. She reaches the end of the aisle and joins her fiancé at the altar, handing her bouquet to her bridesmaids and taking Jisung’s hands into her own, the boy smiling unbelievably widely. He looks like the happiest man in the world.

Hyunjin watches, from right behind Jisung, as the love of his life marries his best friend, the smiles not leaving their faces for a single moment. Despite the hurt, the jealousy, the longing he feels for her, he also feels happy for her, and grateful towards Jisung. Grateful to him for being the boyfriend that Hyunjin could never be, and being the father that Hyunjin could never be. And as they kiss, sealing their promise of love, and Hyunjin’s son runs up to his mother and the man that he thinks is his father, the three of them making the happiest family on earth, Hyunjin feels paralysing regret fill him.

Regret about the drugs. Regret about the alcohol. Regret that he couldn’t prove anyone wrong. Regret about the fact that he hurt her, and ran from her, when she’s the one that he needs the most, the one he’s always needed the most. Regret that he couldn’t be more of a man. Regret that he couldn’t get sober, not for her, or their son, or even for himself.

Once the ceremony’s over, and the happy couple are taking their photos in the gardens, the guests watching on with affectionate smiles, Hyunjin’s friends gather around him, giving him brief hugs or squeezing his hand comfortingly, and he’s not sure whether it’s making him feel better or worse. The photographer calls for a picture of the happy couple with the best man, and his eyes meet with hers, a small smile on her face as he heads towards the two of them.

‘Your flower’s about to fall off,’ Jisung points out when Hyunjin joins them, and without a moment of hesitation, she lifts her hands to his lapel to fix it. ‘It’s like prom all over again – me fucking up my flower, and you spending most of the night fixing it,’ Hyunjin jokes, the girl laughing while she re-pins his pink peony boutonniere, and Jisung feels a pang of pain in his heart as he watches them. They look like they should be the bride and groom – the way she fixes his flower with the softest hands and the utmost care, the way he gazes at her with nothing but love in his eyes, the two of them laughing quietly – and even though Jisung understood his reference, he still feels left out, as though he’s the third wheel intruding on an inside joke.

They get into position for the photo, Jisung on her right and Hyunjin on her left, both of them with an arm around the bride, and she holds her bouquet, the three of them smiling in the sunlight as though they’re the happiest people in the world. Hyunjin looks like the proud best friend, successfully hiding his jealousy of Jisung and his love for her. Jisung looks like the elated groom, successfully hiding his jealousy of Hyunjin and his longing to feel her love the way his best friend always has and always will. And she looks like the picture of the bride glowing with happiness, successfully hiding her yearning for the reversal of the boys’ roles, her desire for Jisung to be the proud best friend and Hyunjin to be the elated groom. The three of them are so tragic and they don’t even know it, don’t even know the truth about each other’s desires.

Their son comes running over, wanting to get into the picture, and it’s like he knows the truth because he decides to stand between the bride and the best man rather than the bride and the groom. She feels panic fill her, not sure whether or not she should move her son, but the photographer begins taking pictures before any of them can act.

It’s almost as though the photographer’s worked them out, like he can see right through the three of them and their lies, because he suggests taking photos of the best man and the happy couple’s son, the three of them exchanging a glance before the bride and groom move away. Hyunjin lifts his son into his arms, the boy completely oblivious to Hyunjin’s inner turmoil, and he just wraps his arms around the man that he knows as his uncle, smiling widely for the camera.

The bride watches them from behind the photographer, and it’s only when Jisung walks away wordlessly that she registers the loving smile on her face which falters quickly. ‘y/n,’ the girl hears, and she tears her eyes away from Jisung’s retreating back, turning to look at Hyunjin’s mother, and the guilt fades away into excitement. ‘Mrs Hwang! Thank you so much for coming!’ the bride exclaims, throwing her arms around the woman she holds dear in her heart. ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. You look so beautiful. I’m so happy for you,’ she says, holding the girl tight, and once they break apart, their eyes both wander to Hyunjin and his son, posing for pictures.

‘I’ve just noticed, y/n, how much your son looks like my son,’ Mrs Hwang murmurs, the bride silent for a moment as she watches her boys laugh together, the photographer capturing the moment. ‘I personally think he gets his looks from me. His personality is all Hyunjin, though,’ she says mildly, Mrs Hwang giving the girl a sad smile. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really thought he’d get his act together.’ ‘So did I, Mrs Hwang. But it’s okay. Jisung makes me happy.’ ‘I’m glad. You deserve to be happy,’ she says wistfully, the two of them still watching their boys laughing together. ‘Come and visit me soon, y/n. And bring your son. I’d quite like to meet him again, knowing what I know,’ Mrs Hwang says quietly, the bride nodding with a smile, holding the tears back.

Hyunjin notices his mother walking away from the bride, and he feels hope in his heart when his eyes lock with those of the girl that he loves, and he sees love reflected back at him, a sad smile on her face. Does she still love him? Is she wishing that she’d married him instead of his best friend? Is she wondering what her life would be like if they were the newly-weds, and their son knew the truth about his father?

But the moment is fleeting, because the sadness disappears from her smile, making him question whether it was even there in the first place, and her loving eyes are on her son instead, not Hyunjin. And suddenly, the realisation hits him. The realisation that she doesn’t love him. That she loves Jisung. And he can never call her his again. And in the few moments before his world comes crashing down, he feels the familiar itch in his fingers, the desperation to reach into his pocket and pull out the little plastic packet, full of the stuff that pushes his pain away.

So he holds it together for the last few photos before heading off towards his car with the tears in his eyes blurring the path in front of him, his absence almost entirely unnoticed in all the excitement. But she watches him with their son in her arms, feeling the crack in her heart grow with each step he takes, wishing with all her might that she could go running after him, get into his car with him so he can drive the three of them away to their own little world of happiness. And Jisung watches her, the longing and love in her eyes so clear as she watches his best friend, and he knows in that moment that his hopes that she’ll one day love him as much as she loves Hyunjin are delusional, that he’s signed his life over to being second best in the eyes of the person he loves more than anyone in the world.

Maybe the three of them are truly happy in another world, but certainly not in this one.

[migilini]

Chosen Family - Sunset Curve

summary: The boys didn’t show up for school so you and Bobby meet them in the Studio and spend the afternoon with them.

a/n: The JATP Discord Server I’m in gave me this Idea :) Prob gonna wrote more little blurbs about 1995 Sunset Curve.

words: 1.8k

warnings: pure friendship fluff

Requests are open

MASTERLIST

---------------------------------------------

“Are they here?” you asked Bobby who sat next to you in biology, your pent tapping the desk impatiently. He shook his head and took out his notebook “I don't know I haven't seen most of them today.”

“Okay, if they’re not here at lunch, I'll skip for the afternoon and see if they’re still alive,” you grumbled. Bobby let out a loud laugh “You know that it isn't your responsibility?”

“I know but it's our job as friends to care. And this is just my way to do so.” you shrugged your shoulders and flipped through the book to find the right page.

"Sure this has nothing to do with the big test this afternoon?" You gave Bobby an offended look.

“Miss Y/L/N and Mister Wilson would you like to share your conversation with the class?” Miss Kluster scolded, crossing her arms over her blue blouse, a thigh frown on her red lips as she looked at the teenagers angrily.

“No Miss.,” the friends said simultaneously.

“Good. Then be quiet now. The class has started.”

You and Bobby looked at each other with a smirk, you rolled your eyes slightly while he scrunched his nose.

++

You let your tray fall on the table, making the only other person sitting and the food on it jump. “Woah! Why so aggressive? Guessing Alex wasn't in English?”

"Nope." You shook your head and popped the p with slight annoyance. “Did you have more luck?” Bobby shook his head. You sighed and packed your lunch into your bag. You looked at him expectantly "You coming with?" He shoved the rest of his sandwich into his mouth and mumbled something that you took as a yes. He clumsily tried to get up while simultaneously packing the rest of his things and nearly fell backwards off the bench.

Getting out of school wasn't hard, especially when you’ve skipped several times and knew where the teachers normally stood to watch, not that you ever skipped school to hang out with your musician friends. You and Bobby sneaked around the teachers' room and took the long way around the gymnasium, only to climb out of the boys' locker room window and then run over the football field to the parking lot where his car stood.

“Let's be honest here, you also wanted me to go because you don't have a car.” Bobby realised once the two of you sat comfortably in his car. In fake pain, you held a hand to your chest. “I would NEVER use you like a free taxi. I normally ask Reggie but he isn't here so…”

Bobby gave your shoulder a light shove before turning the music louder and driving off.

“I heard you crying loud, all the way across town. Cause you been searching for that someone. And it's me out on the prowl” you started to sing along to the Greenday song blaring from the radio station. Scrolling down the window, you held your hand out, embracing the warm summer air. Your hair flying wildly around your face.

You always did something like that, needing the feeling of being free, “I think it's the closest thing to being able to fly.” you always told the boys when they made a side comment.

Bobby drummed along to the song, his fingers tapping the steering wheel with force. When the chorus came, you smiled over at Bobby and turned the volume even higher. At a red stoplight, he lightly turned to you and you both screamed the lyrics at the top of your lungs.

A couple of minutes later, the car slowed down about a couple of houses down the street from the studio. The two of you got out and walked closer, trying hard to blend in. “I swear to god if Miss Lilith snitches on us again…”

“She’s on vacation I think.” Bobby interrupted your sentence about his nosy neighbour that always seemed to know when you should've been in school. Still, you didn't want to take any chances and ducked behind bushes before you were in the safe space in front of the studio.

“It’s quiet,” Bobby muttered to you, his ear pressed to the wood door. “What if they starved to death?” you whispered to him, now your ear pressed against the door as well.

“Or they’re still asleep?”

“It’s a bit late, even for them.”

“Maybe they went home?” you shot Bobby a troubled glance.

“Or we just went on a walk.” a voice suddenly said, behind you two, making you and Bobby clutch to each other with a scream.

“Jesus Christ! Guys do you want us to die?” you scolded the three grinning boys in front of you.

“I missed you guys too!” Reggie embraced you and Bobby in a bone-crushing hug, whilst the others walked back into the studio.

Luke plopped down on his couch, your school bag already in his hands. “What do we have in here?” he questioned out loud and rummaged through the food you brought with you. He took out a yoghurt and threw it into Alex’s direction who caught it with ease, then he threw Reggie an apple and a chocolate bar and for him, he took out half of the sandwich from your lunch. The other half he held out in your direction.

“Oh no thank you, Luke. I’m good.” you tried to wave it off “I brought it for you guys.” But his eyes only darkened slightly, his half of the sandwich poking out of his mouth and he waved the sandwich again so you took it with an eye roll.

Whenever you skipped school to hang out with them, the topic of school was forbidden. They knew that you and Bobby only wanted the best for them, a healthy home life, an education, a change other than music to move out and you knew that it was very hard to basically live on the streets and have missing signs all over the city or parents that always fight or won't accept you for who you really are. So the topic never came up and every time you told yourself that you would bring it up next time, that you had to discuss this and every time you didn't.

The group sat quietly in a circle, some on chairs and couches but most chose to sit on the ground. Your head rested on Alex’ stomach, his hands playing with your hair. Meanwhile, Bobby was half asleep on the couch, Reggie played random chords on his bass and Luke was rapidly writing down stuff in his notebook.

“Y/N?” Reggie's voice shattered the quiet and you were reminded that you were not chilling alone. Lifting your head you looked over at your friend “Yes Reg?”

“Uhm...could you maybe...uhm give me a haircut? I would need money for that and for money I would have to go home and that is something that I don't want to do especially after…” he rambled on. You quickly got up and crouched in front of him, your hands resting on his knees.

“I can try.” you chuckled “Last time I cut Lukes he didn't complain too much so let's try!” you patted his knee assuringly.

So you stood, a couple of minutes later, behind one of your best friends who was currently describing how he wanted his hair. He sat in a chair, an old plastic bag pulled over his head, his arms gesturing wildly how long what should be.

You, on the other hand, tried really hard to listen to his wishes while clutching a bottle with water and a, what you guessed was in fact not a haircut scissor, scissor in the other hand.

You shot Alex a look, silently asking him to memorize the steps as well. “Luke was definitely a simpler client,” you said under your breath but the others still heard.

“I’m sorry I care about my looks!” Reggie exclaimed and crossed his arms childishly. You leaned down to his ear and whispered “That’s why you're the cutest but don't tell the others okay?” that was all it took for him to sit up straight again, a big toothy smile plastered on his freckled face.

With a little frown on your face and the tip of your tongue slightly sticking out, you began to cut Reggie's hair. He wanted it longer on top, but the hair in the back of his head must be a bit shorter than his fringe, the sides had to be short but not so short that you could see his skull and he wanted a fade but not a big fade. The sounds of metal cutting hair filled the room.

“Guys listen to this bridge,” Luke spoke up, maybe a bit too loudly for the others' taste. Bobby grunted from his sleeping position, shot Luke the finger and went back to sleep.

“Luke! That scared me I could’ve cut Reggie's ear off!”

“But did you?” he remarked. As a joke you pulled on both of Reggie's ears lightly “Nope, they still seem pretty attached to his head.”

Luke showed you guys a song he called ‘Bright’ “It’s clearly not done and we still need the rest of the instruments but whatcha think?”

Alex patted Luke’s shoulder “I love it, man!”

“Sounds dope!”

“It’s good. I like it wery musch” you muttered with a comb in your mouth, focused on the boy with hair in front of you.

“And we’re done!” you announced and held your hands away as if you just participated in a bake-off. Reggie jumped up and ran into the small bathroom at the end of the studio. Nervously, you fiddled with the comb in your right hand.

“And? How bad did I mess up?” you asked him hopefully the moment he walked back out.

“You did such a great job!” he said, a grin taking over his face yet again. “Thank you so much.” he gave you a hug.

You both knew that it wasn't perfect, it was shaggy and crooked in some places and the fade was mostly one length instead of a gradient but it looked good, was cheap, added to his rockstar image and most importantly for Reggie, you did it.

“Y/N can you cut my hair too?”

[swanprompts]

300 DIALOGUE PROMPTS

This is a rebloggable version of my prompt list at my writing blog. This has 105 prompts from my old list and 195 new prompts.

IF YOU USE THESE PROMPTS IN YOUR OWN LISTS, CREDIT @swanimagines !!

LIST A - GENERAL/FUNNY

A1. “Can I take a picture of you?”

A2. “Where do we sleep now?”

A3. “Be quiet, they’ll hear us!”

A4. “I cooked for us! Or tried to cook…”

A5. “Can you explain why my phone is up there?”

A6. “Ugh, people are so weird.”

A7. “Wait, who?”

A8. “But I can’t draw!”

A9. “Your forehead has sauce on it.”

A10. “Stop snoring! You sound like a chain saw.”

A11. “C’mon, you need a reason to get out of here and I have one.”

A12. “No, nooope. I won’t do it. Nope.”

A13. “Do you mean I have to touch that?”

A14. “Wow, a great idea, but I’d rather die.”

A15. “Oh there you are! I thought you had melted through the floor.” “I had plans to do that but then I called them off.”

A16. “I’m trash, just not that kind of trash.”

A17. “Always nagging, aren’t you? Every time I hear your voice, it’s in a language called nag.”

A18. “It’s 6pm, the fridge is mine until 7pm, so… shoo!”

A19: “What’s this?” “I bought you binoculars because now you get to look at them better… or you could go talk to them.”

A20. “I’m gonna hit you.” “What?” “Ugh, that came out wrong.”

A21. “I’m okay. I’m perfectly fine. Yeah… okay, I’m not fine.”

A22. “If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow is coming. If you don’t wait for tomorrow, tomorrow is still coming.”

A23. “I’m not yelling, I’m discussing with you with a loud voice!”

A24. “Tell me something. Do I look like a bunny?”

A25. “Maybe that secret is that your mom is really a time traveler.”

A26. “Too bad, I wanted to see some ghosts.”

A27. “Not that song, turn it off now!”

A28. “Is this the Heaven?” “More like Hell.”

A29. “Hey keep it down there, I’m trying to sleep!”

A30. “Please don’t use my toothbrush again.”

A31. “Hey, calm down, it’s not so bad…” “Calm down? There’s a riot going on in my bathroom!”

A32. “It’s alright to be a bit crazy. At least a minute of craziness in a day keeps the doctor away.”

A33. “I thought you had left.” “I’d leave without tasting this sandwich? It would be a sign of insanity.”

A34. “The Great King/Queen/Ruler of Food is here again.”

A35. “What can I do… they just love Mr. Bunny.”

A36. “Wait, do we have a permission to do this?”

A37. “As long as that is on my wall, I swear I’m not going to sleep.”

A38. “Pillows? Pfft. Who needs pillows?”

A39. “That’s what you get for being such a dummy.”

A40. “You really need a haircut.”

A41. “You should keep that to yourself.”

A42. “Oh, how could I not say yes to that?”

A43. “Hi and bye!”

A44. “Well, what did you expect?”

A45. “Kick that door down.”

A46. “I’m not drunk!”

A47. “That’s not a stupid idea, it’s an idiotic idea.”

A48. “You’re the type of person who laughs at their own jokes.”

A49. “Oh, I didn’t know you had guests.”

A50. “Oh, are you looking for [insert name]? They’re probably setting themselves on fire right now.”

A51. “Don’t be scared.”

A52. “Did you just smile?”

A53. “Would you wanna go for a walk?”

A54. “My lights are flickering, it’s the infamous Ghost of the Living Room.”

A55. “This cookie is my spirit animal.”

A56. “Don’t be boring, dance with us!”

A57. “You should keep that candy behind locked doors. I might eat the whole bag otherwise.”

A58. “What’s your password?”

A59. “My backyard is not a waterpark.”

A60. “I think you should talk to them.”

A61. “I wish we had more time to chat.”

A62. “You’re smiling.”

A63. “Do you even know how to laugh?”

A64. “Well, it’s busted, no can do.”

A65. “I know what you think.”

A66. “At least I smell good.”

A67. “It happened a long time ago.”

A68. “What exactly should I be looking at?”

A69. “Why your shirt was in my fridge?”

A70. “Argh, don’t you guys ever use Google?”

A71. “I think you’re overreacting.”

A72. “Do you like board games?”

A73. “But it’s so cold!”

A74. “You should really learn to read some books.”

A75. “Wait, I know where your pants are.”

A76. “There’s no one there, dumbass.”

A77. “A fly has been harassing me for weeks.”

A78. “Be honest, do I have to keep this shirt?” “No?” “Dammit!”

A79. “Not my kid, not my responsibility.” “It’s a dog!” “No, it’s your kid.”

A80. “Sorry, I’ll be late.” “Why is that?” “A cat has been sleeping on me for an hour.”

A81. “I’m still bored.”

A82. “I recognize liars when I see them.”

A83. “Well, books usually have text on them.”

A84. “This is the perfect day to piss [Name] off.”

A85. “Get me their phone. Then we’ll talk.”

A86. “Because you’re so young.”

A87. “Hello, I am your servant today, what can I get you, oh Almighty?”

A88. “Why are you hiding?”

A89. “Why are we hiding?”

A90. “Why you would wanna live in a dumpster?”

A91. “It’s snowing!”

A92. “They’re late. Again.”

A93. “My bathroom smells like someone put a fish into my toilet.”

A94. “Don’t tempt me.”

A95. “You know how much I like chocolate.”

A96. “Stand back, this might get ugly.”

A97. “I can’t believe the way you got them arrested.”

A98. “Wait - did you just agree with me?”

A99. “Nah, dying would have been boring.”

A100. “Can’t you have fun for once in your life?”

LIST B - LOVE/FRIENDSHIP/COMFORT

B1. “You’re being shy with me, aren’t you…” “No I’m not!” “Yes you are!”

B2. “You make me feel free.”

B3. “You’re cute when you try not to blush.”

B4. “I might be having feelings for you, I’ve had them for a while.” “Yeah right.” “I’m serious.”

B5. “It’s true. I’ve loved you ever since I got to know you - and even if you don’t feel the same, I’m willing to accept it.”

B6. “What if I told you that there’s a surprise for you outside?”

B7. “Everything is okay now, I’m here, I’m here.”

B8. “My world was black before you came into it.”

B9. “Did you do all this… for me?”

B10. “Did you really think I’d leave without a kiss?”

B11. “I didn’t know there’s a feeling like this.”

B12. “You’re the first person who has understood me.”

B13. “I’m not the person you want in your life.” “Yes you are.”

B14. “People change. And I’m not who I was before. I’m sorry for what I did.”

B15. “Do you… maybe, want to go to grab a coffee with me sometime?”

B16. “I really like you! Uh… I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that.”

B17. “I know this isn’t very romantic, but…” “It’s romantic enough for me.”

B18. “I’m not like everyone else, you deserve someone better.” “There isn’t anyone better for me than you.”

B19. “What are you doing?” “Showing you how much I love you.”

B20. “Will you make me happy forever?”

B21. “I didn’t know you’re ticklish… this is going to be fun.”

B22. “Your bed could be more comfortable than me.” “Nah, I’m good.”

B23. “You guys are so cheesy it’s disgusting.” “Why, thank you!”

B24. “Can I sleep with you? I need someone by my side.”

B25. “You’re so warm…” “You’re so cold.” “Mmh, that’s why I like your warmth.”

B26. “You’re special to me.”

B27. “Are those my… aaargh gimme those back!”

B28. “I’ve been gathering my courage to talk to you for so long and now… I did it.”

B29. “It’s obvious you like them.”

B30. “Crushing hard, huh?”

B31. “This is the place we first met. And now here we are, years later.”

B32. “Awww, is this you?” “Gimme that!” “No! You’re so cute, look at those pants!”

B33. “You cleaned my house for me while I slept?”

B34. “Wait, did you just call me cute?”

B35. “You’re my only friend, but you’re also the best person in the world.”

B36. “I’ve been in love with you all this time.”

B37. “I care about you, maybe more than I should.”

B38. “Because I love you, you idiotic mufflehead!”

B39. “Honestly, I didn’t believe in strong friendships before I met you.”

B40. “Maybe that’s the reason why we’re friends. You’re as dumb as me.”

B41. “Is that a blush I see?”

B42. “Do you want to go out with me?”

B43. “We’re friends, you can tell me anything.”

B44. “You look like you need a friend.”

B45. “Ah, ah, no tickling! Or no kisses.”

B46. “I made you dinner.”

B47. “I lit up candles and everything, you deserve to relax.”

B48. “You want it, I’ll get it. Don’t try to stop me.”

B49. “You’re the only one that makes me go cheesy.”

B50. “Here, take my umbrella.”

B51. “I think I’m in love… with you.”

B52. “You bought roses for me?”

B53. “Dance with me.”

B54. “Marry me.”

B55. “Babe, we’ll travel the world together.”

B56. “I’ve talked to you once and I already know I’m going to fall in love with you.”

B57. “I heard [name] has a crush on you.”

B58. “You look amazing.”

B59. “Best friends will stand together, even through the harshest of waves.”

B60. “I’ll continue doing this until you smile.”

B61. “Can I hug you?”

B62. “I have always loved you.”

B63. “Don’t worry, you look beautiful.”

B64. “Your flirting is so bad it’s adorable.”

B65. “Do you have to get up? I was just getting comfy.”

B66. “Stooooop, you’re making me blush!”

B67. “Uh-uh, I won’t let you leave without a hug.”

B68. “I’ll be watching over you.”

B69. “I bought you chocolate.”

B70. “I dreamed about kissing you.”

B71. “You’re my best friend, and always will be.”

B72. “Am I dreaming or did you just say you like me?”

B73. “Your smile is beautiful.”

B74. “Have I ever told you how cute you are?”

B75. “I’m with you. I’m home.”

B76. “I would have never believed that one day we’d be so close.”

B77. “We’re friends, right? Friends stick together.”

B78. “I’ll always be here, whenever you need me.”

B79. “You smell nice.”

B80. “I’ve loved you since day one.”

B81. “You built a pillow fort for us?”

B82. “You saved me.”

B83. “You always manage to make me laugh.”

B84. “Thank you for being there for me.”

B85. “Why do you care?” “Because I love you!”

B86. “Do you think of me as a friend?”

B87. “I think I have feelings for them.”

B88. “I’ve tried to forbid myself from falling in love, but now I can’t help it.”

B89. “I can’t believe we’re still friends. I thought we’d grow past the fart joke part.” “What, fart jokes are the best!”

B90. “Good morning, want some breakfast?”

B91. “I’ve missed you so much.”

B92. “Are you cold? Here, take my jacket.”

B93. “I’m gonna dare you to kiss [Name].”

B94. “Oh my god, you like [Name]!”

B95. “They’re in love with you.” “Oh shut it.” “I wish you noticed how they look at you.”

B96. “Breakfast in bed? You’re spoiling me.”

B97. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

B98. “Nobody is perfect. That’s what makes you special.”

B99. “I want you to be happy. You’re worth it.”

B100. “I don’t know how, but you always make me feel happy.”

LIST C - ANGST/ANGRY

C1. “I don’t want to feel anything anymore.”

C2. “I was there… and I didn’t do anything. I’m never forgiving myself for that.”

C3. “It’s none of your business.” “It’s my business if you cry because of me.”

C4. “Let go.” “I can’t.”

C5. “Leave. I don’t want you here.”

C6. “I never loved you.”

C7. “You were never there for me.”

C8. “You did that choice. Not me. You’re in this alone.”

C9. “You left me!”

C10. “It’s time you got to know how it feels to be betrayed.”

C11. “You appreciate some people only after they’re gone.”

C12. “I was willing to stay here with you until the end, but it was you who told me to stay away.”

C13. “No, you don’t have the right to come back to me and pretend that everything is okay again!”

C14. “You disgust me.”

C15. “Fine. If this is how it’s gonna be, then fine. I’m leaving you.”

C16. “They’re not coming back.”

C17. “I failed you. I failed everyone.”

C18. “You’re not worth it.”

C19. “How dare you stand there and tell me you still love me?”

C20. “I was an idiot to ever trust you.”

C21. “I can’t move on, and I don’t want to.”

C22. “I’m disgusted with myself that I once thought of you as my friend.”

C23. “They were my everything, and now they’re gone.”

C24.  “It was you who broke our promise.”

C25.  “You’re my friend.” “I have better friends than you ever were.”

C26.  “I honestly want to set you on fire right now.”

C27.  “There’s no one else to blame anymore, you made sure of it. It’s all on you now.”

C28. “I feel like there’s nothing waiting for me anymore.”

C29. “Tell me I’m wrong. Just say it.”

C30. “I love you, but I wish I didn’t.”

C31. “I hope you grow up one day. But I’m not going to be there to see it.”

C32. “What if I’m in too many pieces now to fix myself again?”

C33. “And here I thought that you’d keep your promises for once.”

C34. “Goodbye. Don’t come back.”

C35. “If this is love, I don’t want it.”

C36. “No one never stays, no one ever cares about me.”

C37. “Please, make it stop...”

C38. “It just feels like I can never let go... even if I try.”

C39. “I love them too much. And that always makes me go tumbling down the hill.”

C40. “I can’t do this anymore.”

C41. “Fuck you! Get out of my house!”

C42. “You’re not welcome here.”

C43. “Don’t expect me to fix things you broke.”

C44. “You always lie to me.”

C45. “Could you try stopping thinking like a machine and listen with your heart?”

C46. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone, but with you? I hope life will be torn apart on you.”

C47. “I wish you nothing but pain.”

C48. “I can’t take this any longer.”

C49. “You were my best friend, and you let me down.”

C50. “Forgive you? How could I ever forgive you for what you did?”

C51. “Don’t you dare close your eyes!”

C52. “I can’t feel the pulse.”

C53. “I can’t believe how I ever was a friend of such a toxic person.”

C54. “Everything reminds me about them. I just want to forget them, wipe them out from my life.”

C55. “I’ll be happy once you’re gone.”

C56. “Don’t give me those crocodile tears.”

C57. “You’re wrong, I have never loved you.”

C58. “Go to hell!”

C59. “I want you gone. Now.”

C60. “Oh, now my opinion matters? I wish we had never met!”

C61. “I’ll always hate you.”

C62. “You broke the promise. Again.”

C63. “I’d punch you if you were worth it.”

C64. “Nothing has changed in you, even when I wanted to believe so.”

C65. “Let go of me!”

C66. “Don’t touch me, you filthy scum!”

C67. “You did a bad thing for a good reason.” “But is it worth it if they died because of me?”

C68. “We’d/We’ll never get our happy ending.”

C69. “You’re never changing, are you? Always a dickhead.”

C70. “You’d never understand.”

C71. “I’m dying.”

C72. “I loved you years ago. But that feeling is long gone.”

C73. “I’m happier without you.”

C74. “I don’t even know who you are anymore, how do you expect me to love you?”

C75. “You abandoned me when I needed you the most.”

C76. “Do you think you could just magically waltz back into my life after everything you did?”

C77. “I waited for you for years before I finally found someone who won’t abandon me like you did, and now you come back and think we could be together again?”

C78. “There won’t be “us” anymore.”

C79. “You’ve lied to me all this time.”

C80. “I’m a monster.”

C81. “You’re a monster.”

C82. “Don’t hurt me!”

C83. “I’m leaving you.”

C84. “Please don’t go.”

C85. “I’ll never forgive you.”

C86. “No no no no, stay awake! Please!”

C87. “I don’t want to lose you too.”

C88. “Walk away and don’t come back, or I’ll fucking kill you.”

C89. “We need to get to the hospital!”

C90. “I know you hate me.”

C91. “Oh, so that’s what you think of me?”

C92. “I’m going to sleep on couch tonight.”

C93. “It’s my fault they’re dead.”

C94. “Don’t give me that bullshit, I know what happened!”

C95. “Give me one reason why we should still be together.”

C96. “If you had ever loved me, you wouldn’t have put everything else above me.”

C97. “You said you’d support me with this, but here we are.”

C98. “Why are you even here anymore? Just leave!”

C99. “I’ll be forgotten.”

C100. “Death doesn’t let you say goodbye.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 3)

Bakugo x Reader

Words: 2896

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One night, a year or so ago Bakugo had gotten a little tipsy and decided it would be a great idea to take all of the batteries out of the smoke alarms. That way he wouldn't have to deal with them every time he thew a fit and his hands sparked up. So he was really surprised when he woke up one morning to one of them blaring. Kirishima must have replaced them.... damnit shitty hair. He groaned as he rolled out of bed, “What the fuck is going on?” 

He was absolutely exhausted. You had another nightmare last night and just like the last time you accidentally pulled him into it. He handn’t been able to sleep after that and he couldn't go to your room because then you would know he had seen it. He knew it wasn't his fault but it still felt like an invasion of your privacy. 

He strolled out of his bedroom in nothing but a pair of sweatpants and made his was to the source of his growing headache. He walked into the kitchen and there you were. You looked extremely confused and alarmed as smoke billowed from the toaster. You pulled the plug from the wall and huffed at the ruined toast. “Shit...”

He couldn’t help it. He started laughing harder than he had in years. 

You spun around, giving him a good look at the pancake mix in your hair, “OH! Bakugo I’m so sorry! I was trying to make you breakfast... but its definitely not as easy as you make it look...” You plopped down in one of the chairs and it wasnt until now that he realized you weren't wearing any pants. Just his oversized hoodie. He couldnt judge though he wasnt exactly wearing a shirt. A fact you were acutely aware of as you desperately tried to avoid staring at his perfect abs. 

You huffed again, “I ruined everything....”

He smirked, “Nah, theres nothing here that cant be fixed... well maybe not the toast. Thats a lost cause.” He held his hand out to you, “Ready for your first cooking lesson?”

He proceeded to flit around the kitchen like a true professional but he never took over. Instead he would just tell you what you needed to do. He wanted to make sure you were actually learning. He knew he couldnt take care of you forever. There were things you missed out on growing up and he was going to make sure you became a functioning adult. 

You guys sat at the table with the banquet of food around you. You beamed as you took your first bite, “This is actually good!”

He scoffed, “Excuse me? I helped you, of course it’s good...” 

You giggled, “Thanks for that by the way. I know it must be frustrating to teach a grown ass woman how to do basic things...”

“Okay first of all dont ever think that. Its not your fault you didnt get to learn this stuff. And second.... that is the second time you’ve used a curse word today. What gives? Am I rubbing off on you? You’ve only been here a week.” He wagged his eyebrows. 

You gave his shoulder a quick swat, “Maybe I swear like a sailor but I've been playing nice. You dont know me.”

He narrowed his eyes a bit, “You’re right. I dont. But I’d like to...” He bit into a piece of bacon and groaned, “I do know one thing though, you make some good ass bacon.”

He spent the rest of the day teaching you every day tasks from doing laundry to how to use the internet. You paid close attention and would periodically stop him to write something down so you wouldn’t forget.  He was currently showing you how to log in to Netflix when an idea hit him, “Oi! Do you know how to ride a bike?”  

You gave him a weird look, “I used to have one with training wheels when I was little but my mom never taught me how to ride one without them. I had wanted my dad to teach me but he died when I was little.” 

He sucked in a breath. He still hadn't told you about your mom. Did you know what she did to you? Did you know your mom sold you to the highest bidder? And your dad? He had no idea he had died.... was there anything about your childhood that was happy?  “I’m sorry to heat about your dad.” 

You just shrugged, “I was really little. My mom always said I was his little mini me. Said I looked just like him and had the heart to match. He was a really nice guy....” You expression grew sad, “Sometimes when I was younger after I had been taken by the villains... if I was having a really bad day I would pretend he was still alive. Because he never would have let them take me.” A single tear slid down your cheek but you caught it, “Look at me getting all emotional. No need to cry over something I cant change right?”

He took your hand in his and gave it the softest squeeze, “I’d say you’re entitled to a few tears. Given what you’ve been through, I don't know how you get out of bed some mornings.” Especially after the nightmares he’d witnessed first hand.

You sniffed back your tears as you returned a quick squeeze to his hand, “Easy. I have you.” 

He didnt know what to say. To the rest of the world he was Ground Zero, the temperamental, cocky hero. But you see so much more. You bring out the best in him and whether he likes it or not he's changing because of it. “Oi. Put some fucking pants on. You're going to learn how to ride a bike!” 

“....Do you even have a bike?”

No, he didnt. But Kirishima did. “You just worry about yourself, and let me figure out the bike situation. Alright?”

You scurried off to your room to change and get ready for the day. You pulled on a pair of leggings and a clean shirt. It may have been Bakugos but at this point you didnt think he’d mind. You threw your hair up in a ponytail and gave yourself a quick look in the mirror. You really needed a haircut. Even in a ponytail it was well down your back. There was a pair of scissors in the kitchen, maybe you could just cut it yourself. 

Thats how you ended up in the bathroom hair in one hand, scissors in the other. Right as you were about to make your first cut, someone cleared their throat behind you. “Oi! Crazy pants! Put the scissors down before you fuck your hair up. All I said was put on some pants not go full on Mulan...” He sighed, “There’s someone here I want you to meet. He can be pretty annoying but I promise he’s not that ba-”

“Hey who are you calling annoying you grump old man.” Kirishima looked at the scissors in you hand, “Oh cool. Giving yourself a haircut? I did that once when I was seven. Wasn't a good look. But I’m sure yours will look much better.” 

Bakugo was rubbing his temples in frustration, “Y/n this this is shitty hair, shitty hair this is y/n.” 

You gave him a soft giggle, “The fact that he calls you shitty hair makes me think I shouldn't listen to you.” You put the scissors down, “I do want to cut it though. It’s a pain in the ass.”

Bakugo scoffed, “You’re the pain in the ass, dont try and blame it on your hair. Although you do shed worse than any dog I’ve ever known. Your hair is all over the apartment.... Come here.” He turned you towards the mirror, “Alright look straight ahead and dont fucking move... how short do you want it?” 

You motioned to the tops of your shoulders, “Like around here maybe. I dont know what do you think shitty hair?” 

Kirishima chuckled, “You can call me Kirishima.” He shrugged, “I dont know anything about  hair.”

Bakugo huffed, “Yeah clearly, hence the name shitty hair.” He looked at you through the mirror, “I would go just a little longer.... like maybe here.” He motioned to a bit below you shoulder. His hand was rather close to your breasts and it made both of you blush. “I’ll see if I can get you an appointment somewhere soon. Until then what if I just braid it to get it out of the way?”

Your blush deepened, “Yeah that would be nice.” 

His fingers felt so good carding though your hair. You closed your eyes and had to fight back the urge to hum. You needed to pull it together. Bakugo was nice enough to let you into his life and has gone above and beyond to make sure you’re well taken care of and comfortable. You didn't need to fuck that up by having feelings for him. 

Your eyes jolted open when he cleared his throat behind you, “Uh...I’m done now.” Your eyed met his through the mirror and noticed his cheeks were almost as red as yours, “Ready to learn how to ride a bike?”

Kirishima caught Bakugo as you guys were leaving the apartment letting you go on ahead, “Dude? When the fuck did you learn how to braid hair? Who are you and what have you done with Bakugo?” 

Bakugo pulled his arm away from him, “Shut the fuck up and I swear if you tell anyone about it I’ll end you!” Bakugo hadn't been completely honest with his best friend about who you were or why you were living with him. He knew you were the girl from his dreams but he didnt know you had been a prisoner or that there was a small possibility you were being hunted. 

Kirishima raised his hands up in defense, “I’m just saying man you seem awfully invested in this girl. I mean she’s wearing your shirt! She’s obviously pretty and from what I can tell she seems nice and all but come on man you haven't been to work in over a week... The director says you either come in tomorrow or you’re fired....”

Bakugo growled, “As if he would actually have the balls to fire Ground Zero.” He took a few steps before stopping and running a hand through his hair, “Tell him I’ll be there tomorrow... I just need to tell y/n.”

Kirishima put his hand on his shoulder, “She’s a big girl Bakugo. I’m sure she’ll be fine without you for a few hours. Whats the worst that could happen?” 

Bakugo groaned, “I really wish you hand asked that. It’s like you’re trying to jinx us.”

When they got outside you were already sitting on the bike, rolling it back and forth looking like an excited child, “What took you guys so long?! Come on!” 

Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, “So Y/n... how in the world did you make it this far in life without knowing how to ride a bike?” 

Before Bakugo could intercept the question you were shrugging it off, “Guess you could say I grew up sheltered. Now are we doing this or not?” 

A few minutes later Bakugo was behind you holding your waist and walking slowly as you got used to peddling the bike. 

He leaned in and whispered in your ear, “Let me know when you're ready for me to let go.” The combination of his strong hands on your waist and his warm breath on your neck... it was giving you goosebumps. 

You felt a chill run down your spine, “Bakugo dont you dare fucking let go. I thought this was going to be a lot easier!” 

He chuckled, “Don’t be stupid you’re doing fine! I won't let go until you’re ready.” 

You took a deep breath, “Okay I can do this.... It’s not a big deal. Children do this.... Bakugo I think I’m ready...”

“Well good because I already let go.” 

Your head swiveled back and forth incredulous that you had not noticed that he had let go. It was a terrible idea because as soon as you weren't one hundred percent focused on peddling you started to tilt. 

“Shit! Y/n!” Bakugo threw himself between you and the pavement just in time to catch you. “Watch it will yeah?” You landed on top of him your nose dangerously close to his.You could hear your heart pounding. You were close enough to smell his signature caramel sent and it made your mouth water. He brushed a hair out of your face. “Are you okay? You’re looking at me funny....” 

You blinked rapidly trying to wake yourself up from whatever daydream you were starting to have. “Yeah I’m fine... thanks.” 

He shrugged, “It was my fault for letting go. I won't do that again.” 

Your heart picked up the pace at his words. He obviously meant he wouldn't let go while you were riding the bike, but you desperately wished he meant something else. But he was Ground Zero. He was an attractive, successful Pro hero. You were probably nothing more than a wounded animal to him. He deserved someone with less baggage. 

You pushed yourself off of him, no longer in the mood to ride a bike. “I know this is silly... but I kind of want to go get coffee.” His caramel sent was still invading your senses and it made you crave your favorite beverage. You had tried different drinks through trail and error before you found what you liked and you named it the cinnamon roll latte. It was a vanilla latte with two pumps of caramel and cinnamon instead of sugar. It smelled just like someone you knew and it was absolutely delicious. 

Kirishima walked over and helped you two get up and picked up the bike, “Coffee sounds good. I have an overnight shift coming up tonight and I’m already dreading it.”

Bakugo dusted off his pants and nodded, “Yeah coffee sounds nice. Same place as usual?” 

You smiled, “Of course!” 

You guys had been back to the same coffee house over and over again and the bitchy barista always had something to say but you kept insisting to Bakugo it wasnt worth getting her in trouble.  

You practically skipped through the door into the coffee house and right up to the empty counter. The barista gave you a bored look, “Let me guess, the usual?”

You nodded, “Yup! Him as well. He wants to try it!” You pointed at Bakugo behind you who was already taking out his wallet to pay. You needed to try and find a job soon. You couldn't mooch off of him forever. You saw a sign next to the register that said they were hiring. You knew if you brought it up Bakugo would insist it wasn't necessary, so you would just come back tomorrow when he went to work. You refused to be a burden on anyone. 

The barista who's name you had found out was Tasha rolled her eyes, “I see you finally found some clothes of your own. 

Bakugo put his arm around your shoulders, “Actually the shirts mine but it looks way better on her doesn't it?” He winked at you before retiring his attention to Tasha who’s mouth was hanging open. Bakugo narrowed his eyes at her, “I said doesn't it?” 

She handed back his credit card with a quick nod, “Yes. I’m sorry it looks great on you.” 

When you had found a booth to sit at you turned to him and slapped his shoulder, “Bakugo you have got to stop bullying the barista!” 

His eyes about popped out of their sockets, “Are you kidding me?! She's the one who always has to say some shit about you every other time we come here!” 

You sighed, “So? Let her be the source of her own misery. You dont need to stoop to her level. You’re better than that.” 

He huffed and fiddled with the napkin dispenser on the table, “Yeah whatever you say....” 

Kirishima looked back and forth between the two of you, “What..... the actual fuck? She just scolded you and you’re.... you’re okay with it?” 

Bakugo shrugged, “She’s right... there’s no point in bickering with people who aren't worth it.” 

You smiled as you leaned up and kissed his cheek. It was a bold move, but it was something you had wanted to do for a while now. 

He gave you an incredulous look and narrowed his eyes, “What the fuck was that for.” 

Tasha cleared her throat behind him, “Here’s the coffees you guys ordered. Have a great day.” 

Bakugo waited for her to be out of earshot before he belted out a laugh, “Oi! Here you are acting all high and mighty talking about being the bigger person and then you go and try to make the barista jealous? You're sneaky.” 

He took a sip of his coffee while you just giggled. He didnt need to know that you had no idea Tasha had been standing there. He didnt need to know that you had kissed his cheek because you wanted to. You looked up and mer Kirishima’s eyes. He smirked at you, “Well aren't you two just adorable?” 

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Taglist : @carolinawindsay​ @fukyouthink​ @targaryens-blog​

[neonbluewaves]

Innocent eyes

A little something I wrote while I draw and write everything about the Prieto family, just kinda teasing, u kno? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

So have a bit of Neon’s grandma, Rocio

--

Rocio is tired. Well, that’s an understatement. She’s completely exhausted, how can a little child have so much energy? Watching over her nephew was very easy. Jacob liked to read, he liked to follow his grandpa around, and Gonzalo didn’t mind because it meant the little boy wouldn’t set the kitchen on fire, or would touch all the magic artefacts they had around their house. He was easy to manage, but Neon? She was a riot, a ball of energy, running around, up and down the mansion, picking everything in her reach and asking with wonder in her eyes “What’s this? What’s it do? Can I have it?” already turning it in her hands, looking at it from every angle. That had to come from her dad, Luisa was never like this, nor Carmen or Narcisso. And she was getting old to add to it.

She hears a loud THUD from upstairs and sighs “oh no”. She walks upstairs resigned with the fact that one child will probably destroy her house when many powerful wizards couldn’t even find it.

-Yaya, yaya, what’s here? Open, open!- says the small kid on her toes grabbing the door knob. Rocio stands there, looking at the door, she hasn’t gone in it in years, since the incident happened...

She looks down to Neon, maybe to tell her she can’t go in, maybe to look for some confidence and finally face the room, she doesn’t really know, but it seems it’s the last, because she opens it and the smell of old parchment and a faint scent of her father’s cologne hits her. Hard.

Neon rushes in, of course she does, looking around. It’s quite a big studio, Rocio had almost forgotten everything in it. The big banner, the giant shelves full of books in different languages, the glass cabinets with miniature ships, maps, trinkets and other objects she never really knew what where used for. There’s a big window letting light in, the fireplace is dark, cold, unused. The desk sitting on one side with matching leather chairs has dust in it. Rocio has used a different room as her own studio, leaving this one untouched for so long. There’s still blood on the floor. Nobody bothered cleaning it. It was barely noticable on the dark carpet, but she knew exactly where it was, a darker tone than the rest of it. The whole room was made of dark browns and reds. The family color.

-Yaya look! Is this you?

Neon’s holding a framed picture. And she’s pointing at her, guess she hasn’t changed much through all these years.

-Yes, that’s me

-And who are all these people?- she turns the frame back towards her, looking at them all, again that innocent wonder in her eyes that reminds her of him.

-Those are my siblings, all younger than me- Neon looks up surprised, her mouth forming a perfect O, the child always so expressive

-You had a lot of brothers and sisters!

-I did

-Where are they? Why haven’t I met them?

.

.

40 years before

 -Ay, where is she? Leoba, come out for Morgana’s sake! It’s a family picture, just choose any mantilla, they’re all nice! And where is Santi? Geez, he needs a haircut, there’s no way he’s getting in that picture with that hair!

-Relax Isa, you’re gonna have a stroke or something

-Rocio, we won’t get another picture in years, father wants it in his studio, where he meets with other pure blood families! And they’ll see five nice looking young wizards and a... a...

-Okay, breathe, I’ll go find him and chop his hair so he looks “presentable”

And with that, Rocio takes a hat from the wall hanger and heads out, the last thing she hears is her sister yelling at her “A hat? Really? You’ll mess your hair!”

The sun is bright and the almond trees of their land look a lovely pale pink, all on full bloom. Santi couldn’t have gone too far, he wouldn’t want to upset father by being late to the picture. Such a daddy’s boy. When he was little he could do no wrong, the fault was always for any of the older siblings, no matter what. But she couldn’t blame him, she also doted on him too much, she couldn’t help it, that innocence, that thirst to know and understand everything around him, the way his grey eyes shone whenever he saw something new, she was smitten, anything he asked of her he’d get. Her new horse? All his. The sword she just purchased but he had wanted too? It was in his room, on the wall kept like a treasure. She had just picked some figs but he was hungry? He could eat them all. She loved him so much she was sure she’d find a way to bring down the moon for him if he asked.

After fifteen minutes of walking between trees she found him along with their brother Marcelo both snoring under a fig tree

-Oi! Don’t fall asleep under the fig tree, you’ll both catch a cold! Didn’t you learn that when we were little?

They both grumbled as they sat up, their clothes a mess with sand

-It’s fine, we’ll drink pepperup potion- said Marcelo, running his hands trough his hair as if to comb it

-Well, what will you drink when Isabel rips your arms off for being late for the picture? I’m pretty sure the guy must have just arrived, and she wanted Santi to get a haircut

-Why? I’m letting it grow so you can all enjoy my wonderful light brown hair!

-She’ll chop it off- said Marcelo stretching

-C’mon, before a vein in her head explodes- she takes out her wand and with a flick of it all the dirt is gone from their clothes.- we don’t want to deal with that.

 -Finally!- exclaims Isabel as she hurries to them, Leoba and Teodoro behind her.- oh, Rocio, you didn’t cut his hair! He looks like those muggle boys that work picking fruit.

-Excuse you, I look way more handsome than any of them

-You know what?- she says, voice resigned - whatever, there’s no time, this good man has to go take more pictures, so just brush it a little out of your face, yes, like this, okay, Sir! Sir, we’re ready!

- Alright, so, tall ones behind, the shorter ones in front.- instructs the camera man- in front of the family banner, correct?

-Yes, okay let’s... oh Rocio, really? The hat around the neck? Fine... And you Leoba, really? You can’t get your hair out of your face even for a picture

-Sis.- Teodoro puts a hand on her shoulder, comforting- relax, it’ll look good, this all just adds to show our personalities

-Oh please, we’re a noble and ancient pure blood house! We don’t need personality

-Said the one with the worst temperament...

-I heard you!- she turns to Leoba, eye twitching

-Please, take the picture - hurries Rocio, before another fight starts

-Okay, everyone look to the camera, alright, it’ll only take a few seconds... yes.... okay....- a bright flash blinds them all- aaaand done!

-Yeah, done with seeing, it was nice knowing what pretty girls look like before the world went white...- Says Santi, rubbing his eyes as hard as he can

-Thank you sir, we’ll await for the picture!

The man gathers everything he brought and leaves hurriedly to his next apointment, and right as the door closes Isabel turns to Leoba

-SO I HAVE A BAD TEMPERAMENT HUH?

-OH MY GOD, HOW CAN YOU ASK WHEN YOU’RE YELLING? YOU’RE PROVING A POINT

-I’LL PROVE YOU A POINT WHEN I TURN YOUR ARMS TO TREE BRANCHES

-OH YEAH, WELL I’LL LET THE DOGS IN TO PEE ON YOUR BED

And as another fight breaks Teodoro decides to apparate anywhere but near the house, Marcelo tries his best to get them to calm down and not take out their wands, and Rocio, with a weary sigh, tells Santi to leave before Isabel decides to actually chop his hair. With a smile he runs away as she goes help Marcelo deal with them. It’s her job as the oldest sister, she thinks, to take care of them all. She wonders who will take care of her once their father isn’t there.

.

.

.

.

She looks at the body in front of her. Laying on the ground face down, the bright flash of green having shocked and momentarily blinded her. She quickly falls to her knees, turning him face up.

Santi’s eyes are wide open, the innocence and wonder gone from them, now just two dull grey circles. His nose broken and bleeding from the fall he’s taken, and suddenly drops of water fall on his face, gently and slowly mixing with the blood. Rocio’s tears.

-santi, santi! SANTIAGO! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE NO, DON’T, DON’T LEAVE LIKE THIS!

Watching everything is Isabel, as stunned as Rocio, she hadn’t known she was holding her breath until Rocio’s screeches had broken the silence, and she let’s out a shaky breath. Her wand gripped tightly in her trembling hand.

Rocio looks up and Isabel swears she’s never seen such rage in anyone’s eyes, ever, let alone her sister’s, and directed towards her. The red irises shine with tears of grief and anger, her face slowly turning that same color,she expects yelling, but all she hears is a quiet raspy voice

-What. Have. You. Done?

They both know what she’s done. She’s killed their little brother. She’s killed father’s favourite child, Rocio’s favourite sibling. She’s killed her own favourite sibling. She feels a sting in her eyes, realization sinking in. She didn’t mean to kill him. She wanted to kill Rocio. But he had jumped in the middle. He took the curse for the sister, who was willing to give him everything, because every time Rocio would hand him something of hers, Santi felt such pure love, he couldn’t bear to lose that. So he jumped and took the curse. And now, unknowingly, both him and Isabel had taken away the most precious thing in Rocio’s life. The innocent grey eyes of her little brother.

-I...I didn’t mean to- Isabel starts, but Rocio’s wand is up

-you didn’t mean to.... but you did. Run. Run away so I never have to see you again. RUN OR TWO PRIETOS WILL DIE TODAY!

There’s no time for Isabel to go, because the fireplace lights up in a green light, a different one, and their father is there.

He sees the scene. His oldest daughter cradling a body. His son’s body. She’s holding him tightly against her chest, his face hidden, but he knows it’s him because he’d recognize that shade of brown anywhere. He follows the direction of Rocio’s wand, pointed at Isabel. And he knows. He clenches his jaw.

-F-father...- whimpers Isabel, and she sees something in his eyes that finally makes her move. And she runs, she runs out of the house. Their father takes out his wand from his robes and a book. He leaves it on the ground, next to Rocio.

And just like that he marches after his daughter. Rocio doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, at the moment all she can do is hold Santiago in his arms and cradle him tightly, whispering against his hair that she loves him and apologizing a thousand times, tears still falling. Left alone in their father’s studio, with the smell of parchment paper and a trace of his cologne.

.

.

.

-Yaya? Yaya why are you crying?

Rocio comes out of her trance, she’s sitting in one of the chairs in front of the big desk, tears falling. In front of her Neon, who looks like she’s about to cry too

-I’m sorry- she says, the poor kid doesn’t know why her grandma is crying, so she thinks it must be her fault.

-Oh no, Macarena, it’s nothing you did, this room is very dusty and it’s making my eyes watery.

Of course she doesn’t know what grief is, she’s a little girl walking around a world full of wonders, all she knows is innocence and curiosity, like Santi did once. And as Rocio picks her up to hold her close like she did with her little brother, she prays that she never has to know what it’s like to mourn those we love most.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 227: Basically Just Me Saying “Holy Shit” a Bunch

Previously on BnHA: We went on a semi-enlightening romp into Toga’s past. Basically she was an adorable child who just so happened to have a taste for blood. And whoever’s job is was to explain to her, “hey Toga, I know you like blood, but other people like being alive, so, you know. Let’s explore some other options for you,” they basically dropped the ball there. So after she murdered her hapless Deku-looking classmate in middle school, she went on the run, and we basically know the rest. Back in the present, Toga had just been blown up from the inside out as you may recall, so she spent most of the chapter kind of out of it. At one point Kizuki even started talking about her like she was already dead, reassuring her that she’d become a martyr for the Army’s cause (which, no thanks). But then Toga managed to stumble to her feet and transform into Ochako as she tried to flee. It was revealed that while transformed, she can use the quirk of whoever she’s turned into, and she proceeded to demonstrate this by floating Kizuki (and half her redshirt goons) a hundred feet into the air before dropping her back down to the pavement. Yeah. So I’m pretty sure she’s dead now. Ah well.

Today on BnHA: Toga passes out in a shed after a job well done. We learn that the MLA is recording all of the fighting, most likely for propaganda purposes because as we have previously established they’re a bunch of dicks. Hanabata confirms that Kizuki is dead and gets the Army all fired up. They charge at Tomura, who is really fucking sleep-deprived you guys, and as he stands there blinking at them he has another flashback. Turns out the little girl from the previous flashback was his sister, and back when they were cute lil munchkins and she was still alive (sob), she showed him a picture of Nana and told him that their grandma was a hero. Tomura doesn’t remember this clearly, but he remembers the accompanying emotions, which is enough to get me hyped out of my mind fyi. Back in the present, Tomura disintegrates I’m-gonna-go-with-about-200 Army henchpeople basically instantaneously without even touching some of them, which, oh shit. And then Dabi is all “oh cool I want to do some mass murder too” but before he can let loose, some dude with fucking ice powers shows up to challenge him. I guess this means we’re never going to get Touya VS Shouto, or if we do it’s going to be very repetitive. But it’s not like I’m complaining either way. Here’s hoping the villain flashback trend continues next week because omfg.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter like an hour ago lol. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity, but aside from that this is as close to a live liveblog as I’m going to get. It took two-thirds of a year, but these recaps are finally caught up.)

this is so exciting guys. I mean, for me the reading process is basically the same, but the posting process is going to be a new one since I’ll be trying to get this up the same day once I’ve read it! so you can expect many exciting errors and brain farts! prepare for the full brunt of my unpolished rough draft thoughts!

so anyway, here’s Toga

lol so much to analyze here. real quick:

“sleepy.” if that isn’t the most relatable chapter title in the history of time, though

loving the “my villain academia” logo in the background! as far as I’m concerned that’s the official title of this arc

“the conclusion of the battles” y’all I read this and I was like “what?! already!?!” but then I realized they’re talking about volume 23, which features the conclusion of the joint training battle arc. so who knows how many more villain battlin’ chapters we’ve still got ahead. I have a feeling we’re already winding down, though

note how all of the stuffed animals are stabbed. ah this girl

it’s 2214, who the fuck still uses polaroid cameras. that would be like someone in our time using a [googles inventions from 200 years ago] modern suspension bridge. ...wait

anyway you guys maybe I should start reading the actual chapter already if I want any hope of actually getting this posted before fucking midnight though

oh hey, so Toga is dying in a shed you guys. fun

I’m not really thrilled about this! to be honest! I mean for fuck’s sake she’s only 17. she was blown up from the inside out. and although the consequences initially seemed to have possibly been handwaved, it appears that no one can escape BnHA’s realistic injury clause for long! so. yeah

I get why she hid, because it’s not like the others are just gonna drop everything to come help her (although Twice, though...), and there are enemies everywhere so this is probably safer. but it also means that if she passes out here there’s a good chance she’s not going to wake up again! and that is bad! that is very much not good

what she really needs to do is call Ujiko! hitch a ride out of there while you still can! he is a doctor, right? even if it is the questionable mad scientist type! worst case, you end up as a Noumu. actually, wait a sec, maybe we should think this through

and yet the fact that she’s still laughing, though. just. goddammit. I love her so much. I swear to god Toga if you fucking die...!!

so now she’s curling up in the fetal position and thinking “once again I’ve gotten closer to you”

yeah, Deku really does do this every other week. or he did for a little while at least sob

and now we are cutting to ReDestro who for some reason is monologuing about Toga!

oh right, because he had the cameras and shit set up to livestream that shit

okay but is it just me or is he not looking at any cameras. he’s just enjoying the view from his little observation tower same as before. does his quirk allow him to see everywhere at once or what

is it bad that I barely even paid attention to the actual content of his ramblings lol. it’s just the same old same old. blah blah society rejects anyone who’s different, it’s so unfair, blah blah

it’s not a bad point, mind you; it’s just that RD and his army are completely full of shit and acting like they’re so much better even though they’re just a bunch of mur-diddly-urderers. it’s like how PETA acts like they’re champions of animal rights when really they mostly just kill shelter animals, insult Steve Irwin, and claim that milk causes autism. but I digress sob

oh shit I forgot about this dude

here I was thinking there was only the one other miniboss to go before the big bad. silly me. how could I have forgotten that two page spread and our friend here with the Gorillaz mouth and the Beatles haircut

wow are you serious?

Giran sitting there with one skeptical eyebrow raised thinking about how these guys threatened to kill him in order to lure his friends out so that they could, you guessed it, kill them!

and also, way to completely disregard the dozens of other minions who already bit the dust before Kizuki. like, your entire town is basically doomed, guy. but sure let’s cry for the one dead villain who actually had a name though

holy shit you guys

are you telling me that’s why you were recording the whole thing? is that why you invited the League here in the first place?? for the fucking publicity? kill the bad guys and earn the public’s good will? did I miss that part of the planning sesh, or was this objective already painfully obvious and I somehow either missed it or forgot all about it?

either way it’s amazing how these guys become bigger assholes with each progressive chapter

oh now he’s explaining it all on the next page lol. so I guess I didn’t miss the memo, good

okay but first he’s getting real physical with my boy Giran here though

okay first of all, all he did was say “footage...?” like wth was so fucking impolite about that. and second, why do I get the feeling that there’s probably a fair percentage of people who read this chapter and got to this panel and now suddenly ship it sob

I mean, he just got so up close and personal though. all up in his face. this guy has such a weird energy and it’s really creeping me out now ngl

anyway so here we go with the explanations

holy shit you guyssssssssss

when did Giran get so fucking hot?? and is he single?! asking for a friend???!

anyway so now RD is wiping away his crocodile tears and says Giran is lacking in imagination

oh hey

what an interesting segue back to Tomura!

wow, Spinner’s asking how much longer until Big G wakes up, and Compress says one hour and twenty minutes. so that means they’ve already been at it for like an hour and fifteen minutes! minus however much time it took to warp over and then follow Back-Stab n’ Go out to the center of town for the ambush. even if that took a whole half hour they’ve still been fighting for a long time! but I guess they’re more than used to that by this point, thank you so much Ujiko and your six weeks of brutal endurance training

Spinner’s all “no matter how many we defeat, they just keep on coming!” and I know, dude, it’s almost like there’s over one hundred thousand of them or something dfskdj

although to be fair, probably not every last one of them is actually there. can you imagine. it might take a whole nother hour to beat them all

now Hanabata is driving in on the back of an election van. because apparently he just fucked right off in the middle of his fight with the League, and then came back. with a van

so he’s all “EVERYONE I HAVE SOME DEEPLY SADDENING NEWS” and oh my gosh what is it

oh

yeah dude we already been knew. RIP and all that

so the crowd is all distressed and asking what the Supreme Leader said

really?? that’s what they call him?? yeah you guys aren’t evil at all

and Hana quotes, “‘do not let her sacrifice be in vain’“

sorry bruh. but. it’s gonna be in vain. hate to break it to you

right??

GASP

TWICE STOP BEING AWED AT HANABATA’S INFLUENTIAL AURA AND START PAYING ATTENTION TO THE DUDE WHO’S SNEAKING UP BEHIND YOU AND TRYING TO SNATCH YOUR MASK OFF

anyway so in the meantime this is happening

maybe there are 100k of them. seems like there’s a lot. I do like that from this angle it appears that Tomura and the others have holed up in a relatively narrow alley, thus creating a choke point and limiting the number of enemies who can attack them all at once. although this panel does make it look like there’s just a big ol’ wave of bad guys surfing their way towards them though, so it remains to be seen how effective this strategy will actually be lol

eh?

yeah no shit boy you’ve been fighting Daruk from BotW for the last month and a half

anyway so apparently he’s feeling ~weird~ though

I shit you not guys, my sister was hospitalized a couple months back (she’s fine now) because she started hallucinating after a three-day bout of insomnia. shit is no joke. don’t be like Tomura. go to bed and don’t stay up all night fighting villains

-- OH SHIT!?!

ASDFALSDFHLKSDHLFKJHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S A LITTLE GIRL!! AND SHE’ S OPENING A SECRET DRAWER!!

SHE’S ALL “IT’S OUR LITTLE SECRET!” OH MY GOD

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SWEET JESUS MARY JOSEPH!? HORIKOSHI DO YOU FUCKING READ THE THEORY POSTS ON TUMBLR JUST SO YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY SHIT ON THEM TWO DAYS AFTER?? HOW THE FUCK

AND IS NANA’S SON WEARING DEKU SHOES?? OH MY GOD PLEASE

AND THIS MEANS THE LITTLE GIRL IS ACTUALLY TENKO’S SISTER SOBBBBBBBBB NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE THIS MAKES TOMURA MUCH MORE LIKELY TO GO APESHIT ON AFO’S ASS IF HE COMES TO REALIZE THAT AFO INDIRECTLY MURDERED HIS SISTER OH SHIT

BUT SHIT YOU GUYS, SHE’S SO CUTE AND SHE’S FUCKING DEAD NOW SOB THAT’S SO FUCKING HORRIBLE I MEAN IT I’M REALLY UPSET THOUGH

BUT LET’S CONTINUE WITH THE FLASHBACK TO SEE IF HORIKOSHI WANTS TO TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS ANYMORE!!

NANA DIDN’T DO A GOOD ENOUGH JOB ERASING ALL TRACES OF HER CONNECTION TO HER CHILD AND IT EVENTUALLY RESULTED IN HIS DEATH OH SHIT. I’M SERIOUSLY SO UPSET ABOUT THIS??

NOTE HOW BABY TENKO’S FACE IS PURPOSELY BLACKED OUT EVEN THOUGH (A) HIS SISTER’S IS NOT, AND (B) WE SHOULD, IN THEORY, ALREADY KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE! IT’S BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE THE SCARS OR THE WHITE HAIR YET CUZ AFO HASN’T WIPED HIS MEMORIES. [nods sagely as though I have any sort of proof of this whatsoever and it’s not all just wild speculation and conjecture]

HANAAAAAAAA oh shit I better come up with another nickname for Hanabata then. looks like it’s Back To The Full Name for you mister

!!?!?!?

okay you guys I think this is intentional misdirection. we’re meant to believe that Tenko’s dad was perhaps abusive and that his behavior toward his son ultimately triggered the awakening of his quirk and led to all of the subsequent Horrible Things happening

but I think what it actually is is that Tenko’s dad probably resents Nana for giving him up. and maybe Tenko wanted to know more about her and maybe he got in trouble for it? because now Hana is showing him the picture, and then talking about this mysterious conversation with their dad and saying she’s on Tenko’s side. so that’s my bet

anyway! but this means Tomura might not need as much convincing as I previously speculated! I figured he probably wouldn’t know much, if anything, about his grandma even if he did somehow get his memories back, because he was only four when all that shit went down, and Nana had parted ways with Tomura’s dad years ago. but if he actually did know a bit about her and even possibly felt a connection with her, as this flashback suggests, that could go a long way towards fueling his eventual breakaway from AFO’s side once All Might is able to explain the truth

ahhhhh you guys this is exciting I’m excited. though also still very sad though because wtf seriously

so Tomura’s tiredly thinking that the least his stupid memories could do is show him the whole picture instead of these fragments. “it’s like a broken tape recording or something”

HOLY SHIT

...I have no words. holy shit

anyone else getting flashbacks to the Highway to Hell though? what is it with Tomura and periodically pulling off the most badass stunts in the whole fucking manga. all because he didn’t get his nap dsflkjlk

ReDestro look at this loss of life. are you crying again. no, I can’t imagine that you are. you ass

you guys are probably getting tired of me just going “holy shit” over and over, but

hooooooooooooly shit

guys, if Tomura can dust people without even touching them he might as well just change his name to fucking Thanos and we’d better start praying this kid gets redeemed and soon

so now there’s a panel of Tomura being all drooly, and honestly he looks like he’s about to pass out. not sure if this is intended to be a glam shot or what lol

ohhhhSHIT

YESSSSSSSSSSS DABI. DRACARYS

!LKJDSLFKJLSDKJF!!

OH SHIT YOU GUYS, IT LOOKS LIKE WE’RE ABOUT TO GET ALL A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE UP IN THIS BITCH

who is this weird little black mage. I’ll tell you one thing, he’s the only guy I’ve seen so far who’s actually dressed appropriately for fucking December weather, though, so good on him

will he defeat our boy Touya (spoilers, he won’t)? will Touya have some flashbacks of his own (TOUYA PLEASE), since that seems to be what all the cool kids are doing these days? will I lose my fucking shit all over again next week? stay tuned! but yes I absolutely will, oh jesus this is awesome

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching JIBcon videos (part 1 of ?)

Cockles panel

in which Misha still has an unapologetic pee kink and Jensen is way more submissive than I remember him being

03:44pm (may 24th nz)

i legit don’t know if i have the energy to watch and type about this but i’ll try. might pause and come back a different day if i need to

watching this first

“JIB10 - Jensen Jared and Misha panel part1″

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRPKIAeNoFA&ab_channel=thiniassk

-

03:54pm

needed a break already but hi i’m back feeling less sick

LET’S BEGIN

-

03:55

misha: “he was like “let’s do this”... and i went on stage and... jensen went to the bathroom”

pfft

-

FINAL JIBCON??? OH NO??????????? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

;n;

i’m sad now

aw

-

danella: “some issue backstage, we don’t talk about what happens backstage”

misha: “did he not MAKE it to the bathroom?”

misha !!....

mishaaaaaaaaaa

i wanna squish his face between my hands and just sigh lovingly

kinky little asshole, i love him

-

seriously he’s been on stage less than three minutes, jensen’s not there, and he’s already pulling stories out of nowhere implying that jensen pissed himself 

i can’t even

-

04:02pm

https://youtu.be/fRPKIAeNoFA?t=2m54s

jensen: “do you need help?”

his voice is so gorgeously deep and warm

-

misha: “do you need a pair of dry pants?”

i can’t think of words but

//clutches my head and whines

does jensen have context? does he just get on stage and the first thing he’s asked is whether he needs fresh pants??? whY DOES HE THINK MISHA IS ASKING

-

jensen: “i’m not wearing any pants”

T

THEY

ALL THEY DO IS FLIRT

-

04:08

this was such a soft and submissive hug??????????/ jensen just??? slid up and???? aWWWH

-

AND THEN HE JUST

“I LOVE YOU”

RIGHT OFF THE BAT

OKAY

OKAY I’M ON BOARD

GIVE ME MORE OF THIS X10000

-

jensen: "and there’s a reason i haven’t told you that today”

misha & jensen: “”’cause you/I don’t”

STOP THIS

jensen: “I’M KIDDING”

CEASE AND DESIST

misha: “about what”

EXACTLY

misha looks at jensen like., oh man. :c he laughs after but he’s a tiny bit jilted there. love is always a joke ;<

but also misha gets it, jensen’s a wee bit awkward in front of an audience but he’s MAKIN’ AN EFFORT DAMMIT

-

04:14

they’re sitting so close

-

jensen: “alright, driver, what are we listening to?”

DID HE JUST

(i mean, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole, obviously)

jensen just gave misha the driver’s seat

he’s so goddamn submissive????? i just

i haven’t watched or seen anything with fresh jensen in like. months. MONTHS. maybe a full year since the last jibcon. and i completely forgot he was like this

especially with misha

i know i often interpret dean as submissive but actually?? in comparison to jensen those lil occasional traits are nothing. jensen’s just openly and unapologetically putting misha in charge with words and with the way his body moves

he’s so soft.

SO soft.

-

and when misha doesn’t answer for a few seconds, jensen looks over, first into his eyes, then down to his lips, checking his expression

misha was kinda stiff before but he got stiffer, ponderous

i honestly, HONESTLY didn’t think i’d be analysing body language this time round but i can’t help it, its so obvious to me, more obvious than it ever is with ANYONE else

these two just give off MASSIVE signals, all the time. maybe because they’re actors and they’re not currently acting, but are performing their own selves, so they perform a heightened version of their personality. but there’s so much to see

plus like. you can see in the background how jensen holds the mic. both protective and phallic at the same time. flirty and nervous and relaxed

-

and THEN MISHA SAYS “we’re listening to the song “why are there so many songs about rainbows”

everything is not-so-secretly gay

this is a rainbow bullet train heading for rainbow city and there’s no stopping it

-

04:26

https://youtu.be/fRPKIAeNoFA?t=5m5s

misha pushed the mic down to whisper to jensen, then jensen’s like “no~. no~!!” and then flirty and winky and “teeease”

WHAT DID THEY TALK ABOUT

maybe about how far they wanna go on stage idk. THIRD BASE MAYBE

or how much of season 15 they can talk about

either way misha was tryna keep it private and jensen was literally broadcasting his answers into the mic. jensen is 100% an exhibitionist.

you know what, i love that look he gets in his eyes when he’s flirting with misha in front of people. you know the look. dark eyed, uncontrollable smile, head set a little down. really open shoulders, probably swaying hips, if he’s standing. ugh i love that

but like. i’m pretty sure he flirts different if nobody’s watching. i think if nobody’s watching (or if he doesn’t realise people are watching) he’s just a regular guy talking to his best friend/wife. except his wife is sometimes misha. some of that big smile, definitely some unnecessary touching and preening and back-of-neck-holding

the crazy thing is i’m essentially making that up, but we all know his movements and behaviour with misha so well i don’t think any of us would struggle to imagine it was true

idk

-

04:37

i will never get tired of seeing them lay their heads on each other’s shoulders

also sidenote: in my opinion this is the best beard + haircut combo jensen has ever had

-

04:39

jensen: “misha......... what’s your latest dad joke?”

-

jensen: “we’re telling stories about CARPOOL now”

i love that they already know each others’ stories and jensen’s like OOH THIS STORY and comes back to sit down to listen

-

04:41

crowd: “we love you misha”

jensen: “thanks, misha’s mom!!!”

and then he looks at misha so softly and so lovingly, he’s not joking any more, he just loves misha as much as the rest of us, maybe more

someone called “we love you jensen” but he didn’t react at all because he was appreciating misha, didn’t even blink

(also as i re-read this post i realise he said “misha’s mom” in a way that’s like “hey stop flirting with him, he’s mine” not in a “dear misha’s mother, thank you for giving us misha”)

-

jensen: “you speak in more puns as a dad. yeah~”

the way he says that with a smile and a nod. like he observed that in misha and also in himself maybe

but he just finished misha’s sentence

they are MARRIED

but i for one ADORE puns and even if i was the only one in my year 10 economics class who laughed at my teacher’s puns i STAND BY THAT LAUGH

-

“when salmon spawn in a stream, and then they die, and an otter eats the carcass”

HE’S TALKING ABOUT HOW HE MAKES MORE PUNS NOW

AND HE’S RELATING IT TO THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

MY LOVE FOR HIM GROWS BY THE HEARTBEAT

-

04:48

there we go, hand on the back of the neck/shoulder

-

THE FIRST QUESTION WAS “can you maybe take a sip of the apple juice”

GET DRUNK !!!

AND THEN MAKE OUT !!!!

yes please

jensen looks at misha checks with him, and then says “no!!!!!”

because he knows flirting will happen

BUT THEn MISHA

GETS UP

GET THIS BOY DRUNK

HELL YEAH

nesnej is much flirtier and we all enjoy it

but like. jensen said no but then he shuts his eyes and shakes his head when misha gets up, knowing what’s gonna happen. ‘cause like. he could say no again. but he already consented to misha leading this thing, right? and if misha hands him a drink he’s gonna drink it. that’s just what’s gonna happen.

and he knows misha’s not getting up just to get himself a drink. there’s something very specific about getting jensen drunk. he knows what he’s like drunk. and so does misha.

i just need to enjoy for a moment how jensen’s vehement resistance to getting himself a drink is immediately completely overridden by misha’s choice to get a drink for him, and jensen gives zero argument. the moment misha moves jensen’s gives over to knowing he’s gonna get tipsy

i have literally never in all my life seen anyone as easily and happily submissive as jensen is with misha

-

05:00

HE COULD SAY NO. HE COULD SAY NO

BUT MISHA DOESN’T EVEN FORCE HIM HE JUST OFFERS IT AND SAYS NOTHING

AND JENSEN GOES “awww mannnn” buT THEN TAKES IT with an “alright~” before he’s even done complaining. as though the complaints were all a farce to begin with and he was eager to say yes?? maybe he likes being drunk and flirting with misha, no surprises there. maybe the look he gave misha before saying “no!” was a permission look saying “yes but only if you make me”? they clearly communicate a lot unsaid, i wouldn’t be surprised by that either

i swear to god this is a sex scene. i’ve written this but with water instead of booze. nobody can convince me they don’t do this in private, drink a lot so they need to pee and get drunk and flirty. *o*

and i am kind of reeling right now. i should sound like i’m making this up but OH BOY THE WAY THEY TALK. THE WAY MISHA OBSESSES WITH PEEING (and has done so consistently for years, especially with jensen). THE WAY HE JUST HANDS JENSEN AND DRINK AND JENSEN TAKES IT. misha wants jensen flirty and REMEMBER THAT TIME HE WAS DIRECTING AND HE MADE JENSEN DRINK THE SAME DRINK ON CAMERA 20 TIMES OVER

-

jensen watches misha drink first

and then he drinks

-

i’m so wrecked by all of this right now

legitimately

their energy is so sexually charged??? and so comfortable and so loving

this is not at all the same aggressive sexual energy jensen brings to the stuff we see in the gag reel, i.e. “pranks” i.e. flirting. but it has equal magnitude imo, it’s just quieter because he’s being himself, not dean (and jared’s not there)

misha knows jensen so damn well and even that bullshit about whether or not jensen loves him was understood to mean “i do but i’m self-concious about being firm about it in front of an audience” and then jensen shows his love instead of saying it (but even then he made a point of saying it straight away)

but oh LORD the biggest thing i’m getting from this so far is that jensen is indeed misha’s princess-slash-cabin boy. and we should never ever doubt that misha used those terms in an affectionate, dominant sort of way. (on the one hand i’m wary about the use of a ~feminine~ term as a means of domination, in general, but on the other hand, I AM SOOO INTO IT for them specifically. maaaay have written "princess” into a destiel fic that one time)

-

anyway where was i

oh yeah jensen just agreed to get drunk because misha wants him to

-

05:25pm

you know what, i’m gonna stop here and come back maybe tomorrow. i didn’t finish this video yet but there’s still a part 2 of this panel, and then other panels and i’m definitely not getting through them all today, these last 11 minutes of footage have taken me almost 2 hours to watch

i’ll post more of my reactions under #Elmie watches things so ... stay tuned!!

[youmeansammy]

Dallas Winston Fanfic: You bring trouble.

Authors note: This fanfic series will have moments from the movie and books, but will not follow the same storyline. The first chapter is more of an information fill-in but Dally shows up at the end. That being said, enjoy lovelies!

When you stepped out into the sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, you had two things on your mind: Ponyboy Curtis and a ride home.

“Thanks for coming with me, (Y/N). It sure beats going alone,” Ponyboy said with the two of his hands stuffed in his hoodie. You’ve known Ponyboy and the Curtis family for years, at this point you considered them like family. You would be lying if you had said that you hadn’t slept on their couch plenty of times when things got rough at home. Although, things always felt kind of rough at home for you. You moved to Tulsa four years ago, and you’ve known the Curtis family for those years. You were sent down to Tulsa to live with your uncle Jerry since your old man was sent off to prison for life, but it wasn’t something you spoke about with anybody. It was a hard thing to accept and maybe that’s why you’ve found yourself ignoring it happened in the first place. Nonetheless, you enjoyed it here in Tulsa, it felt like home in this small town.

"You wanna get some burgers? I swear, I'm craving it."

"I can't. Darry will skin me alive if I don't come home, I have schoolwork."

"Dang," You let out a sigh and looked around at the houses, sometimes you'd think about what it would be like to live on the rich side of town. Did it make a difference in how life was lived? You didn't think about it much, that was until Pony brought it up to you one time, but you two never spoke of it again after that. That didn't stop the thoughts popping back up when you looked at the houses falling apart around you.

"I don't mind walking home with you though." You finished your sentence after gaining back your train of thought.

You happened to be older than Ponyboy by a few years, but it never changed how you treated Pony. He was a good kid to hang out with, even if you fit the age with the older guys in the gang. That was, except for Darry Curtis. He felt like an older brother in some sense, he was an older male that you could rely on, and that felt rare now and days.

"Is Sodapop workin' Tomorrow? My uncle's car has been acting funny."

"I think so," He tossed a rock across the road as you both watch it skid.

"Hey, grease!" The two of you both heard a voice call out and the sound of an engine hum close behind. You and Pony looked at each other and both of your eyes read trouble. Reaching into your pocket, you realized that you didn't carry a knife today. And by the way Pony was looking at you, he made the same mistake. Two-Bit was gonna give it to you on that one, seeing how he stole a knife for you to avoid this type of trouble.

"Just walk faster Pony," You spoke as your gut told you something awful was about to happen. The engine got louder along with the yelling of nonsense spewing from those idiots mouths. Ponyboy looked back before calling out in a panicked yell.

"Watch out!"

He grabbed your arm and tugged you both hard out of the way of the speeding vehicle.

The two of you took off, both running like your life depends on it because right now it did. They were trying to kill you both; the socs were playing the cruelest form of tag. The car pulled up beside the two of you and slammed on the brakes, opening the passenger door to block you two from running.

"Hey, grease,"

The soc called out with a sickening smile as he held out a knife.

"Need a haircut, greaser?"

Everything happened in a blur. You blinked and the scene in front of you was now chaotic. Ponyboy was on the ground held by four socs with a knife to his neck, and another one held you against the car as you struggled against him.

"How'd you like that haircut to begin just below the chin?"

"Pony!" You screamed as the sight of blood locked in your view; you started hitting the socs face even harder than before as he cursed back at you.

They tried to shut the two of you up, but you both were hollering like dogs with their tails stuck in a closed door.

"Move!" "Run!" "Get outta here!"

The soc boys scatter around, pushing and shoving over each other like roaches. The blonde soc that was holding you against the car grabbed you by the coat and threw you to the ground.

You heard Two-Bit scream as he grabbed the blonde soc before being shoved to the dirt and taking you with him. Steve ran and tried grabbing the guy from the car window as Sodapop slid over the hood to attempt the same. Everybody was running in mad as hell with the anger of a wild boar, the scene in front of you becoming wild. The car pulled in reverse flying and almost hitting you in the process.You looked over at Ponyboy who was sitting on the ground exactly like you, confused and startled; Darry was trying to get answers out of him as Soda ran up behind them. You were broken out of your daze when a hand swept under your arm and pulled you up like it was nothing, looking up you felt more disoriented by the view in front of you.

"Dally?"

You blinked and scrunched your eyebrows. He shouldn't have been out of the slammer for another two months. You knew you weren't wrong about that considering you meant to meet him outside when he was released, although he didn't know that bit.

"You good? Looks like he got you pretty good on the face," He talked while grabbing your chin, moving your face around to look at the bruise forming.  You dodged eye contact, you felt your stomach flip.

“I’m fine. I didn’t even feel it happen.” He let go of your chin without another word and started towards the gang. You followed behind and watched as everyone pull out a smoke.

You looked at Ponyboys cut from afar, it looked pretty bad, but it'd heal up eventually. Though you couldn't help but think, maybe this wouldn't have happened if we just went to get burgers.

The opening chapter is dedicated to @smilexcaptainx

Part two available here

[imagineredwood]

Request: Opie thinks you’ve been cheating and instead confronting you he becomes really distant so you two aren’t talking. Jax sees you both upset and lock you two in a room until you talk it out

**Yall didn’t think you’d be getting 2 today did ya?**

“You heading out babe?”

You looked expectantly at Opie as he slipped his kutte on, running his hand over his beard before looking over at you.

“Yeah.”

You nodded and smiled softly, grabbing the towel to dry your hands as you walked up to him to give him a kiss goodbye. He reached down to the counter and grabbed his keys roughly, leaning down towards you. He pecked his lips against yours quickly, barely enough time or contact to constitute a kiss and pulled away before you knew it.

“I’ll be back late tonight. Don’t wait up. I’ll eat something quick on the way home and come get you when it’s time.”

You nodded in agreement, but he didn’t even see it, already turned away from you and heading out of the door. You followed him, grabbing the edge of the door before he was able to close it.

“Do you want me to make you lunch and drop it off there at the clubhouse?’

Opie didn’t bother to turn around and simply shook his head as he walked up to his bike.

“No.”

You voice was little and tired as you reluctantly nodded.

“Ok.”

There was no further conversation as Opie slung his leg over the bike and started it up, pulling out of the driveway quickly, leaving you to finish washing the dishes alone with just your thoughts.

It had been like this going on 3 weeks now. Opie had become increasingly more distant and short with you, and you had no idea why. At this point, the only time the two of you spoke or had any contact was if you initiated it first. Even then, you couldn’t help but notice his irritation, almost as if those small seconds throughout the day of interacting with you were just too much for him to bare. As far as you knew you, hadn’t done anything to anger him and shrugged it off as him just being caught up with club business. Something was clearly weighing on him though and the lack of communication was starting to take its toll on you as well.

For instance, tonight the club was having a party and Opie had yet to even mention it to you.  Everyone knew and yet he hadn’t even said anything about it. You couldn’t help but feel like he had done it on purpose because he didn’t want you to go. You were tired though. Tired of the long hours at work, tired being stuck with coworkers instead of your friends, tired of being ignored by your Old Man. Tonight you were going to go out and have fun, whether Opie wanted you to or not.

Opie didn’t even acknowledge you as you stood next to him at the bar. You sat there drinking alongside him and it was as if you were completely invisible. You’d tried to make small talk but to no avail. He’d ignored you entirely and the longer you sat there, the more it angered you until you snatched your beer off the bar top and stormed away from him, going off outside as Opie stayed and scowled.

Unknown to you though, Jax had been watching. He had actually been watching the two of you all night. Opie had been in a bad mood for a while now and Jax had a feeling that it had been because the two of you were going through something at home. He’d tried talking to Opie about it, but he’d shut him down repeatedly lately. Now he had proof though. Opie’s head had been somewhere else and now he saw where. Clay had even noticed it and told Jax to handle it, not liking that Opie hadn’t been on his game as usual lately. Jax had seen how distant he’d been with you all night and how with you storming off, he knew there wasn’t going to be any interacting between the two of you tonight, so he was going to have to improvise.

“In here Jax?”

“Yep. Last door to the left. I know how observant you can be, maybe you’ll have better luck finding it.”

You nodded and walked down the hall ready to find this photo album of Jax’s that he was having so much trouble locating in the back room. Turning the knob and stepping into the room, you looked up to see Opie searching through the same shelf Jax had said the photo album would be. As he heard you enter, Opie turned and looked towards you and Jax, arching his eyebrow as you turned to Jax as well.

“Jax, what the hell, he’s already- “

You couldn’t finish your thought as Jax apologized and closed the door quickly.

“Sorry guys, but you gotta work this shit out. I ain’t letting you leave until you talk to each other. “

“Jax, c’mon.”

Opie came up from behind you and put his hand on the door, jiggling the locked doorknob. He was met with silence though from the other side and you sighed as you sat down on top of a tool box.

“Well you might as well sit and talk to me Ope.”

The scoff that he made had your blood boiling again and you stood up abruptly.

“Why do you have to be such an asshole? Why do I even bother with you!”

Your hands were shaking with anger as you stood there and stared at him, unable to believe that the man that claimed to love you could ignore you and treat you so poorly for no reason.

“Yeah I could ask you the same thing.”

Your eyes narrowed as you looked at him.

“You could ask me the same? You’re the one ignoring me and treating me like shit. You don’t even pay attention to me anymore.”

Opie scoffed again and glared at you.  

“Why would you need attention from me, you get all the attention you could want from that dickhead Jake.”

Your furrowed brows and frown slowly slid their way off from your face as you stared at him in confusion.

“Jake...work Jake?”

“Yeah, that fuckin’ Jake. Mr. Brings you donuts and coffee every morning Jake. Mr. ‘oh he has the funniest jokes in the office’ Jake. That one.”

The two of you stared at each other, Opie’s shoulders squared and his nostrils flaring as he looked at you while everything slowly started making sense to you.

“That’s what this is about? You’re jealous of Jake?”

“Yeah I’m fucking jealous of him, he’s the one that gets to spend time with you. He’s the one that sees you early in the morning and late at night for ‘work’, like I’m dumb enough to believe that what you two are actually doing.”

That last sentence made you flinch. It hurt to think that he believed you would cheat on him. You loved Opie with all your heart. You would never be able to do something like that to him.

“There’s nothing going on between Jake and I, Opie. I’ll even show you the pages upon pages that we’ve been typing out for this new project.  This promotion is really big, we don’t want anyone else to catch onto our ideas and steal them. That’s why we’re staying so late. I’m not cheating on you Opie. I swear to you. I’ll even let you call Jake.”

Opie stared at you, his eyes looking at you sideways as he stared into yours, looking for any sign or deceit or lies, but he founds none.

“So you’re not cheating on me with that fuckface?”

“No Opie. I swear.”

He stayed looking at you for a couple seconds more before he relaxed, is shoulders coming down from their defensive position and his hands unclenching from their fist.

You gave a breathless laugh and reached out for his hand.

“So that’s seriously why you’ve been so mean to me lately? Because you thought I was getting in in with Jake the Donut guy? He’s brings everyone donuts by the way. Not just me.”

Opie chuckled softly and allowed you to take his hand, clenching yours in his before bringing it up to his mouth and pressing an apologetic kiss to the back of it.

“Sorry. I just…I was worried you were gonna leave me for him. With his baby smooth face and tapered haircut.”

You both shared a laugh and turned your heads as you heard a knock on the door before it opened and Jax stuck his head in, a smile on his face.

“I heard a laugh.”