#guys i miss vander i miss him real bad :(

[noxcorvorum]

It is the nature of things to be changed, it is the nature of time to twist and ruin, but not that things cannot be rebuilt.

There comes a point where the fragments are so shattered and lost that they will no longer fit in their original form, but that they may be shaped and guided into a new one.

Blue-haired daughter cursed and grieving, pink-haired daughter desperate and angry, dark-haired father mangled and twisted, dye-haired child hopeful and following her hero.

They were a family, and then they were shattered in so many directions, in so many ways, at so many times that to put the pieces together again seemed like the hardest thing in the world, like sticking your fingers on shards of glass in an attempt to piece them back together, bleeding on the corpse of the glass-blown bird fallen from flight, knocked carelessly from the workshop table.

And they tried to put themselves back together, holding on hand in bloody hand, fingers intertwined until the hammer of fate dropped, coming down again and again and again and crushing their smiles their tears their marrow into dust.

But dust is something, isn't it?

Dust can be used, shoring up cracks and scattered inside resin, swirling design resembling nothing of what it used to be, but clinging to form, to being, to life. Chemtech beast, enforcer, hero, hero's shadow. All of them changed, none of them different.

But dust is ephemeral, isn't it.

A shadow, gone in a burst of light. A chemtech-addled father, wiped away by poison fire. A hero of the people, resigned and ready and falling. A reluctant enforcer, left safe behind.

There is something to be said, though, for their choices. Sprinting ahead with a stolen gun. Protecting and defending children. Undoing the clasp on a hextech glove, and gently holding the face of the monster in a father's altered body before pulling the pin as a sister screams, far above them both.

Even dust may choose its end, scattered on the breath of time.

[purpleshimmer]

ACT II THOUGHTS - MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Episode 4

JINX AND ISHA ARE SOOO CUTEEEEE

Girl go to your rally…..

Singed what are you doing here

I love all the Jinx outfits + hair everyone is doing

ISHA AND SINGED AWW

The Warwick sequence is so so cool wow

YOU CAN SEE HER BLUE HAIR THAT HELMET IS HARDLY DOING ANYTHING THIS IS STRESSING ME OUT

Star Wars ass prison break in

Oooo the Jinx and Warwick fight scene is dope

“POWDER” I’M GOING TO CRY

Episode 5

Jinx and Vi teamup YAYYYY

Caitlyn looks so fine in that cape 

I’m crying this Caitlyn and Singed interrogation is literally the soyjack vs chad meme

MEL NOOOOO

KINO?????????

Aww :(

Vi looks so good hello

Noooo Singed don’t do it

He’s planning something; there's no way he’s actually teaming up with her. Right.

SINGED’S DAUGHTER? YOUNG SILCO? THERE’S SO MUCH HAPPENING 

What.What are they implying here. Guys if they’re actually going to prove the “Mel is pregnant” theory right I’m going to sell all my Arcane merch and rate the season 0 stars

Where was Singed getting the funding to do all this 

Caitlyn is actually making me mad this season man

You’re telling me Kino was in this prison with literally nothing to do for like 20-30 years and never realized there was a puzzle on the wall, but Mel went in there and found out in like 5 minutes😭

Of course it wasn’t her brother I’m stupid actually.

“Sister??” What is going on I do not like this Black Rose plotline I’m sorry there’s too much going on

VANDER AND SILCO FLASHBACK YAY

HELP SILCO’S REACTION

Old Silco was fine as hell but so is younger Silco like woah

And now I’m crying again!

JAYCE WITH BEARD JAYCE WITH BEARD JAYCE

Huh. How is Viktor speaking through Salo what

Once again….this is too muchhhh I need to make a separate post about this bc it’s really bothering me 

JAYCE WHAT THE HELL😭

Episode 6

Dude what is thisss stop

I don’t like this.

He never gave a fuck about Sky before why is she suddenly such a big part of his motivations and talking to him now. I know he feels bad about accidentally killing her but why are they besties now what

I don’t like this space thing at all it’s too weird I’m sorry

Mfw the show called “Arcane” has magic in it I guess: 😠

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Isha please don’t take the gemstone lol. Isha. I’m begging you please put that down.

Guys I’m worried!

Am I just a hater or is anyone else getting pissed off at the wacky hextech speaking-to-people-in-their-minds thing

AND I'M SORRY I DON’T HATE SKY BUT WHY IS SHE HERE. AM I MISSING SOMETHING

JINX AND VIKTOR TEAMUP REAL???? RARE CORRECT FAN PREDICTION HOORAY!

Actually stop with the space hextech thing it’s making me MAD 

I’m sorry I don’t mean to complain so much I love this show but I actually cannot stand this please forgive me

IT JUST FEELS SO CORNY

Ooo I like this watercolor animation

Singed whyyyy 

OKAYYYY CAITLYN 

Jayce are you good buddy….?

JAYCE NO!

Am I stupid why did he kill him….is it just because he thought he went to far with Hextech and the crazy hallucinations he was having? That can’t be it? Did he not mean to kill him? I am so lost rn 

VANDER :(

The music that played in s1e3 when he fought Silco in the cannery :(

I KNEW ISHA WAS GOING TO DIE BUT THAT WAS SO SAD 

[jayktoralldaylong]

Arcane: Nightmares (cause you know every character definitely has them and they've got a truckload of fuel for them).

Let's start with the guys left behind in Season 2

Vi - So let's start with Vi, and honestly, what doesn't she have nightmares about? She's got a truckload of material to work with, starting from her parents and ending with her sister. It's just back to back night horrors that fuel her abandonment issues and feelings of worthlessness if she's not of service. Likely a restless sleeper. Cannot bear to sleep alone. Probably claustrophobic from prison. The Jinx nightmares probably happen on repeat. When Caitlyn notices her having a hard time, sometimes she lets Vi curl in her arms and they just sit together, sometimes staying silent, something talking till she falls asleep again. Anything to chase the demons away.

Caitlyn - Speaking of demons, no one ever gets over the loss of a parent. She might have let go of her hate of Jinx, but she's been kidnapped, nearly blew up twice, and lost her mother to an explosion. Caitlyn probably hates fireworks. She goes missing during Progress Day. Vi can always find her in whatever corner is furthest away from the sound. Vi presses close and talks, her voice helps ground Caitlyn, cupcake probably has words of affirmation as a love language. Caitlin's nightmares aren't too bad, but when they are, she immediately reaches for Vi, and Vi is there always, taking her hand immediately to remind her that everything will be alright.

Ekko - You ever lose your entire family to a big bang, lose contact with all except one who now works for the guy that killed them (probably fearing she'll kill you too one day?), and somehow you have to cope with all of that as a child. Ekko has nightmares in the form of good dreams. Memories of perfect times. The nightmare is that Ekko wakes alone, from the beginning till the end, always alone. Painting helps sometimes, until the pain is more than a brush can hold. Hanging out with the other Firelights grounds him, he knows he's done it all for a reason. They say nothing when they see him dozing beside the campfire group, they know he just needs to be around people.

Mel - Her entire childhood was nightmare fuel. She only got out of that when she came to Piltover and she's right back in it. Probably haunted by her mother's ghost (she will never be rid of that woman). Her nightmares probably consist of losing everyone who's ever openly loved her (Her mother, Elora, Jayce, her brother). I do hope it does not make her harden her heart, she's been through so much already. Mel takes a walk and goes back to painting. One time she caught herself painting an exact replica of Viktor and Jayce. She could not bring herself to destroy it so she hides it in her room and dreams of better times.

Sevika - Definitely nightmares of Silco and Vander. Then Jinx. I don't think she'd have nightmares of Isha, but she would remember the girl. Sevika probably wakes in a cold sweat. She's back to unhealthy habits to chase the nightmares away, but she'll do her council job right because she fought so damn hard for that dream. There are still people she can share it with, and they need her now, like she needed Vander, Silco and Jinx. If anything, the pressure to not let them down keeps her going.

Ximena Talis - Cause so many people forget about this woman and just thinking about her makes me want to cry. (⁠T⁠T⁠) She probably dreams of her baby boy and just like Ekko the real trauma is that she wakes alone. Lost both her husband and her son, but I don't think Ximena truly regrets Jayce's success. She knows it made him happy. Sometimes the hardest thing about being a parent is letting your child forge their own path and accepting the consequences as part of them. Magic was Jayce's whole life. Still, a small part of her might wish they never ended up in that storm in the first place, so she could still have her little boy.

Steb - Also under discussed, probably dreams of Maddie. Maddie apologising, Maddie saying she was blackmailed, Maddie crying and saying that she was wrong. She was his friend. Then Maddie turning around and killing him in the same breath. Definitely going to birth a whole new realm of trust issues. There's no way he saw that coming. I wonder if Maddie would have really killed him. He was to be executed along with Caitlyn, I wonder if Maddie would have made a case for the other enforcers to be spared. She was his friend and he probably never found out why (people say she was Noxian but wouldn't they know that? In her file?). He probably thinks of Loris, and how lucky Loris is that he did not live to know their friend was a traitor.

Scar - I don't know enough about him but I'll give it a go anyway. He seems old enough to have seen the first war involving Vander and Silco. So many guns going off in his memory. Probably friends lost, so many nameless faces and too many with names. Fortunately for Scar, he can wake in the world he fought for, for the sake of his child. A world that chases the nightmares away.

Singed - If that bitch even has nightmares, he can choke on them. 💀 Bro sacrificed everyone else's child and parent to bring back his own. The nightmares are scared of him. I'm pretty sure just looking at his baby clears his conscience. Bro might have some regrets but he'd definitely do it all again. 💀

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (Leonetti, 1997)

I watched the first movie yesterday, and saw this was about to leave Tubi as well, and figured that if I was ever gonna watch this, it might as well be now. Listen, I’m not a brave man. Even if the threat to leave is totally empty, as is often the case with things on Tubi, where nothing really leaves it just takes a few days off, I will cave. Literally any pressure, I will cave. You do not want me to have your back in a crisis situation.

Anyway, I’ve mentioned that I’ve been under the weather recently and was zoned out in front of the TV for a good chunk of this past weekend (which was a long weekend here, so a little more zoning out than usual). But I watched this more or less at full attention, and it’s been a while since I was this lost watching a movie. Just on a basic scene by scene level, I could not make sense of what was happening. I knew who the good guys were, I knew who the bad guys were, but why or even where they were fighting escaped me. Characters are doing whipping about, flailing their limbs, doing back flips, front flips, flips in all directions, totally unmotivated as far as I could tell, often in proximity to some less than state of the art CGI. You look at movies like Jurassic Park and see the work that goes into the actual filmmaking to sell the special effects. Such lessons were not learned by this movie.

And it goes without saying that the fights are far from good, although the ones where the actors are doing their own stunts are better than the ones where clear stunt doubles are used. Which is to say that as far as the cast goes, Sandra Hess as Sonya Blade is a sorry replacement for Bridgette Wilson, whose physical commitment to the role greatly helped sell her scenes. And it goes without saying that the warmth and humour of Linden Ashby is missed, but given that Johnny Cage gets killed off like five minutes into the movie, it’s understandable he didn’t come back. The only actors who return are Robin Shou and Talisa Soto. The actors in the movie are split into two categories. One, actors who know what kind of movie they’re in and play it right, either earnestly as with Shou, or sinking their teeth into it, like Musetta Vander, who plays Soto’s foxy evil mother, or the always dependable but now bald Brian Thompson. Two, actors who look totally lost, like the aforementioned Hess and, shockingly, James Remar, who replaces Christopher Lambert as Raiden. Lambert is not the most expressive actor, but you can see him lean into the exoticism of the character. Remar looks like he’s been pushed in front of a camera without a script and forced to perform at gunpoint. He looks as lost as the viewer. He is unintentionally an audience surrogate.

You take all that, and add cinematography that even more than the original, lights the screen in strong colours at their harshest, ugliest shades, and you get the kind of movie critics used to describe as dreary, dismal and confusing. But quite frankly, you could say the same thing about any number of blockbusters from the past decade or so, and unlike many of those, this is only an hour and a half, and here, dog doo CGI aside, you’re at least looking at real people and things captured on film. So it could be much worse. Listen, there are fights and things happening and they play the theme enough. What more do you want? At a certain level, this movie feels like an experiment. What is the absolute minimum amount of narrative tissue you need to connect onscreen motion and still get a response from the audience’s nervous system? My synapses were firing. I had a good enough time.

[visibleclosedeyes]

Angle 1

(accidentally deleted it prematurely...)

type: Multi chapters

pairing: sevika x OC

The lodgings

It was going to happen. Sevika was certain of it. She could understand Vander and what he was trying to achieve but also–being sane enough–Sevika realized this will never work with the enforcers. The woman has known defeats, pain, and loss, just like everyone else in the lanes. On that day that the news of the enforcers' threats spread all over Zaun, she gathered just like many others at The Last Drop. They wanted those fucking brats of his, Vander needs to do something about that and the only two options were surrender or conflict. Oh, Sevika was fucking ready on that day to fight for Zaun, to fight off those who ripped everything from her not even a decade ago.

But then Vander talked to all of them, and the air quickly was poisoned by the bitterness that also plagued a lot of people in that bar. Some guy said the truth straight to his face, something along the line of ‘you can’t protect them forever,’.  He covered their asses too much and now it came right back to bite everybody's asses off, but respect was given; Sevika could get the idea of protecting your family. If he was gonna fight, then Sevika was in. But that wasn’t what happened. He ordered them to stand still and do nothing while the enforcers were gonna roll them all over. Fucking what now? Oh, she remembered how it went down. ‘Do I look scared? ‘No, you look weak,’ Even with her left arm gone, she was still gonna choose this part all over again. Because she was right, Vander was weak. Sooner or later, he would get them all killed.

“ Fuck !” Sevika screams into the dark void of her own room. Silco doesn’t ask for her yet; looks at how incapable she is now. She took the blow for him, obviously, it was a stupid decision but not without a reason. Silco, unlike Vander, has what it takes to actually do something for Zaun. Her room is dimly lit—makes the arsenic deep green, and the wallpaper looks even more depressing than it already is. The couch she’s laying on is barely acting as a comfort, its cushion was non-existing while the nails below it threaten to come out and sink into her flesh anytime.

This place isn’t near The Last Drop. It is a cheap, run-down lodging almost near the edge of Zaun—the opposite of this building is the dock overlooking the darkness of the undercity's lowest street. The street outside of her window, at night,  was often cloaked with dust clouds (or mist, but this is Zaun so it’s probably dust cloud) away from the main part of the city. It’s just your typical small district that has a sizable group of people sometimes but mostly left quite deserted. In the dead of the night, however, there might be a shady man or woman waiting for someone to hand over their shady packages. Sometimes she would hear laughter, sometimes cries, and many times beatings. Well, not that she knows when exactly it is day or night anyway.

That window is placed at the opposite of where she’s at. The only way to let Sevika connect with the outside world. This square room of depression isn’t so unbearable as the warmth of sunshine and the soft ray of moonlight always peer through the shoddy window. Not everything is bad, huh?

“ Ugh,” but the consistent massive pain from having her arm literally burnt to bits. Sevika isn’t dying anytime soon but the overwhelming agony makes her wish she did. At least Silco doesn’t toss her away after all she did for him, while she is stuck here in recovery; he sends her money and on rare occasions comes to visit. Well, that’s fucking good and all that but missing arm won’t be solved by just money. She’s desperate for something tangible. And maybe the angel is real and her wish has been granted because suddenly the door next to her crack open. A woman, not older than the mid or early 20s, with a tight tee and jeans just like anybody else in Zaun walks right into the room. She looks completely average but Sevika spots a heavy bag she has in her hand.

“You are Miss Sevika?”

“Yeah? Who the fuck are you?”

“Your boss hired me to take care of you,”

“What? You’re some kind of nurse? That’s new, a nurse in Zaun?” it came out of Sevika’s mouth more sarcastic than she actually meant it. Sevika has genuinely never seen any real doctors let alone nurses in this place.

Sevika must have looked miserable that instead of answering her question she went straight to sitting down beside her and took a look at the fresh wound that was wrapped by a soaked bright red bandage.

“This… is far worse than what he told me,”

“Are you telling me you just noticed I have no left arm when you came in?” Sevika retorts back, her brows tie into a knot and her voice is harsh with an edge of bitterness. The woman looks at her in the eyes, she bites her lower lips as if she wants to say something. Sevika is unsure if that’s a pity or annoyance in her eyes but it’s the first time she has gazed into her eyes. She seems to have decided against it and resumed her examination.

“How long has this been on?” the new nurse asks Sevika. The taller woman leans her head back against the green wall, she snorts and tries to light a fire to the cigarette she holds in her mouth

“2 to 3 days?”

“You smoke? I would advise against it for the time being,”

“Huh? Why? Everybody smokes? Also, I lost a fucking arm? There’s a bigger problem to worry about, no?” Sevika challenges her nurse who is cracking her bag of medical tools open, there are so many things that Sevika cannot recognize right away. Out of almost 30 years of her life, she never received any medical care as close as this. And suddenly worries how much this would cost her, how much did Silco pay this girl? She hisses sharply as the old bandage is being peeled off from the wound.

“So, did you and your boss come up with the solution?” the small woman asks Sevika without tearing her sight from the work in front of her. Sevika doesn’t look either, the thought of seeing her own severed shoulder made her wanna gag.

“Prosthetics,” the older woman assumed it was still about her injury.

“Decorative one or mechanical?”

“Don’t be fucking stupid, princess. Why would I need a useless one?” Sevika grins at herself for finding a slip-up to bite back at the nurse. The cold gazes rest upon her now as the nurse next to her stops what she is doing for a moment. Sevika expects some reactions but she gives her none.

“The mechanical one will be expensive…”

“And? Stays on your lane, don’t say anything that you know nothing of,”

“Just curious. No offense, but your boss is the one paying me. You can’t even pay for a nurse, I doubt you will make enough for a prosthetics” that simply sends Sevika off, she could feel sharp frustrating, and humiliating feelings. Oh, she wouldn’t know, that statement the woman just utters cut deep in Sevika’s psyche. Her blood runs cold in anger, she gets her situation very well. Poverty, who wouldn’t know that they themselves are poor? It’s a fact and Sevika isn’t delusional but having a fucking stranger pointing that output a sour and bitter taste in her mouth. Sevika waits until the bandage changing is complete then stands abruptly turning to face the shorter woman beside her who is also rising up. And she’s fucking hates that expression. It’s the doubt, washing all over the nurse’s face. Sevika hates doubt, especially when it’s against her. Reminds her of her old man. Brown hair woman pushes away the thoughts of her father to the corner of her mind as fast as possible before the guilt, regret, and resentment could manifest.

“What’s wrong?” the woman inquires quietly now, unsure if she did anything wrong.

“You’re finished. The door’s right there, where you came from. Go collect payment or whatever from him,”

“About that…” she says rather sheepishly. Her voice squeezes through the narrow gap between her teeth. Another new kind of expression. Sevika says nothing back and so the woman continues. “He already paid in advance for the rest of the year,” Sevika blinks at that statement trying to understand why the fuck is that her problem and why should she care.

“Good? Then get the fuck out then,”

“Oh, he didn’t tell you before?”

“What?” alarm is sounding in Sevika’s head

“He hired me to take care of you until you are at your normal capability which means I’m going to be living with you until then,”

“What the fuck?”

[szallejhscorner]

Sorting the Mess

I am sure that Silco had a hard time learning how to braid Jinx’ hair that good and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Tag list: @enzydamz​

Powder learned a lot these next days. She learned that the makeshift barracks they were residing in wouldn’t be their long-term home, since Silco had taken measurements to take over the Last Drop as soon as Vander had died. His former hideout, the old cannery, had been destroyed by Powder’s bomb.

Just like Sevika’s left arm – which probably was the reason the grim-looking woman didn’t seem to be too fond of Powder.

Silco, however, did not openly blame her for destroying most of the place. Powder wasn’t aware of how many probes of Shimmer, other resources and research results had been annihilated with the explosion, and she did not ask. On one side, she was looking forward returning to the Last Drop – back to her real home, a place with people she knew. But it would be different now that so many were dead. She wouldn’t share a bunk bed with Vi anymore, would probably not even be allowed to sleep in her old room. At least the music and laughter would return to be her lullaby, and she wouldn’t get lost wandering through the halls at night any longer.

It would take a long time though to get used to Silco’s people. Like Sevika, the others weren’t exactly nice to her, and there were rarely any other children. Just a couple of older boys acting as some kind of messengers who sometimes entered Silco’s makeshift base, but the last time she had tried to talk to one of them, he had pushed her to the ground. It was then that Powder recognized him as one of the guys who had tried to take their loot from the last break-in, and she didn’t even want to befriend him any longer.

Living here didn’t feel better or worse than it had been with Vander – there had been mean people and bad-tasting food as well. The truth was… Powder missed her family. She still had the voices, sometimes even manifesting as images somewhere above or next to her head, but it was not the same. After Silco told her to shout back, which she did now every time the voices said something mean or tried to scare her, they had become much quieter. And they were not entirely evil anymore. At least Claggor agreed with her that Sevika was a terrible person, and this Finn-guy looked frightening.

“He really is…” Powder muttered as she strolled along the floor again, this time heading towards a certain direction. Silco’s place didn’t hold much for a child to play with, and yesterday he had promised to make one of his henchmen buy some crayons for her so she could draw. It would probably be the cheapest and most useless all over Zhaun, but still better than nothing.

Silco’s door came in sight, closed like most of the time. Not that it’d be an obstacle to Powder.

Much more confident than the first time, she pushed the door open and readied herself for the smoke cloud that would greet her like a thick wall. Seeing Silco in his chair, she couldn’t help but wonder if he slept in it as well, or if he spent his whole life seated in it.

What made her swallow though was the fact that Silco was carrying some kind of golden device in his hand, holding it close to his damaged eye, although the other one was fixated on her in clear surprise. “You really need to learn how to knock, child.”

He lowered the shiny thingy and rubbed his eye with a sigh while Powder headed to the desk and jumped on to it smoothly, shoving away papers and other stuff while doing so. Strands of hair flew into her face, and she tried her best to blow them out of it. It was annoying since the braid had gone lose, and she couldn’t redo it herself. “What were you doing?”

“Nothing that should matter to you”, Silco muttered as he readjusted the thing back over his eye, “and now be a good child and stay silent for a minute.”

With huge eyes, Powder watched how a sharp-looking needle burrowed itself into Silco’s eye, injecting some kind of liquid to it. While Silco groaned in pain and covered the left side of his face with his hand after he was done, Powder let out a squeal. Looking at it alone hurt! She didn’t even want to imagine how it must feel for him.

“It looks bad”, she whispered after a second of recovery. Silco leaned back in his chair, his functioning eye closed now, letting out another sigh. He did that quite often, and it always sounded so tired. Powder wondered if it was because of her.

“I got used to it. Like one gets used to everything.”

Powder shoved herself a bit closer to Silco until she could place her feet on the armrest of his chair. The needle thing was still resting in his hand, but his fingers closed around it only loosely, allowing Powder to reach for it. “Isn’t there any other way?”

The shiny looked delicate, and its golden shimmer made it look much more valuable than it probably was. A glowing purple drop still clung to the tip of the needle, carrying a sickly sweet smell. It was a familiar scent, one that had infected the whole cannery that used to be Silco’s former base.

He slowly opened his eye and turned it towards her. “Not if I want to keep the other eye.” Then, shaking his head oh so slightly, he grabbed the shiny back, carefully placed it in his drawer and took out something else: the promised crayons. They were beautiful neon colors, a total of six, and Powder ripped open the stained brown paper the very moment Silco handed it to her. Not as bad as she expected them to be, after all. She had been lucky that Sevika didn’t take care of the shopping currently while she was recovering from her injury.

“I just don’t like pain”, Powder said while rolling the pink crayon in her hand. It left wonderful marks on her skin, and its color was vibrant. Not even asking for permission, she snatched the piece of paper closest to her and scribbled a monkey face onto it to test the new toy. “Wonderful!”

“You better get used to it if you want to survive.”

Silco ripped the paper out of her hands, and for a moment, Powder felt bad that she did something to make him angry. He didn’t begin to shout, though, and simply shrugged his shoulders and gave it back to her, as if to tell her that this was nothing too important. Barely paying attention to his last statement, Powder immediately begun to test out the other crayons as well. They all looked wonderful.

“Almost as good as the ones I used to have…” she grinned, but it quickly turned into a curse when another strand of hair made its way to the sheet and was quickly covered in orange crayon. Powder hissed and tried to free the blue strands from the crayon, which turned out to be harder than expected. “Dammit”, she muttered, almost ripping entire strands out in her desperate attempt.

Next to her, Silco simply watched with an unreadable expression as he lit a new cigar. “You should either cut it or tie it up.”

“No!!”

Her hair finally unknotted from the crayon and Powder held on to the long blue mess as if to protect it. The truth was that she had never braided it herself – at first it had been her mom, and later Vi doing it whenever it was about time. They were in her way like this, and still… the least thing Powder wanted was to cut them off!

“No”, she repeated more composed this time, “I… I don’t want to cut it! I…” Clinging to the hair that was now dyed a bright orange, Powder glimpsed up to Silco. The older man didn’t seem to pay attention to her any longer and had instead shifted his focus to some papers and a viscous drink he poured himself into a fancy looking glass. Judging from the smell, it was the same stuff that Vander had used to sell most of the people coming to the Last Drop, although Powder didn’t recall its name. All she knew was that it tasted terrible, because she had mistaken it for lemonade once. Mylo had made fun of her the whole rest of the day.

Mylo… she could hear his snickering laughter right behind her, teasing her to take a sip again and see if it was still as bad. “Shut up”, Powder muttered, which caused Silco to glimpse at her for a second. He already knew about the voices though and didn’t ask further. Instead he reached for a pen and signed one of the papers, and Powder noticed that he used his left hand for that. Most people she knew were right-handed, but it somehow suited him to be different. His handwriting, despite the fact that Powder couldn’t decipher most of it, was nice to look at. It was messy since he wrote quickly and still had enough flourishes to be artistic. If he could write like that, certainly he…

“Can’t… can’t you braid it for me?”

The hand holding the pen stopped for a moment before it continued, and a fresh cloud of smoke was blown towards her direction, making her cough. “You don’t want that.”

“Why not?” Powder shifted closer until she almost sat on the armrest. Silco’s mouth turned into a smirk, but he did not look up.

“I don’t have too much experience with long hair.” As if to underline his words, he lifted his hand and moved it through the short dark hair that was beginning to turn grey at some points.

Powder couldn’t stop imagining how Silco would have looked like with long braids, and the image in her head made her giggle. “You could try!”

“Hmm.”

Now Silco’s eyes met hers, and it was fascinating to watch the one blue eye and the other deep black with a creepy reddish iris. Powder realized that when he blinked, only the right eye would close. Did that mean he slept with one eye open as well?

He didn’t say more, and he did not decline her request, so Powder grinned and tucked a scrunchy in his hands before she jumped onto his lap, waiting expectantly for him to start. Silco sucked a breath in to complain, but he didn’t speak it out loud. There was just another sigh and he put the pen down, took a last pull on his cigar and then Powder felt his fingers in her hair, trying to unknot the mess.

“Oww!” She exclaimed when he pulled particularly hard, but Silco didn’t apologize. “You wanted it, so get used to it”, he simply said with a shrug. “Three strands, right?”

Powder nodded, hoping that he wouldn’t ask for more details about how to braid. That three strands were used was all she knew as well, and it took the old man a minute to part her hair into three mostly equal parts before he begun to weave them together. His hands were much clumsier than the ones of her mom or Vi, and it didn’t feel like the braids she usually wore. “Are you doing this right?” she asked while painting her fingernails with the crayons, which caused Silco to snort.

“I’m doing it. That should be enough.”

The color looked wonderful, although Powder knew that it wouldn’t last long. She’d have to paint it again in a couple of hours, but this way she could always swap colors the way she wanted. And she could paint everything, not only her nails! A soft melody found its way across her lips, a song more familiar to her than anything else. And just when she was finished, Silco took the scrunchy and wrapped it around the braid, shoving her off his lap as a sign that he was done.

Curious as she was, Powder felt for the result to check it. The braid was clumsy and uneven, at least that was what her hands could make out without her eyes, but it wouldn’t be in her way anymore, no matter how much she moved her head. “It feels funny”, she grinned while collecting the crayons off Silco’s desk.

Said man rearranged his chair and turned his attention back to the papers. “Told you.”

“It’s okay”, giggled Powder with a last turn to check that everything would hold tight as she headed to the door, “you’ll do better next time!”

[thugnan]

Secret of the Scarlet Hand (PC 2002)

Story: 4/10

Characters: 3/10

Puzzles: 3/10

Chores: 4/10

Final Rating: 5/10

I’ve only played this one once and I honestly can’t remember parts of it or the plot. I love that this was the first appearance of Soony Joon, but other than that all the characters fell flat for me. This one took the educational aspects of Treasure in a Royal Tower and multiplied them by 100, in a bad way. This game played more like a Broderbund game, the puzzles were obnoxious and the play through was erratic (not as linear as its predecessors). Some of the chores involved bouncing back and forth a bunch (like the quizzes). I don’t remember there being any glitches though.  

Plot (spoilers obviously)

Thug Nan gets an internship at Beech Hill, a museum hosting a super big exhibit on the Maya. From the get go you get the impression that maybe this museum can’t afford to do this? Thug Nan is like “wait a minute this internship is paid right?” 

They hand you a list of chores and tell you to get on it. They’re preparing for the exhibition of a giant rock monolith. While doing these chores you meet:

Joanna: Your boss as the museum’s curator. She appears a little young to be running the place and slightly desperate to get income into the museum. Low key she cute tho.

Henrik Vander Hoop: He’s fancy and has an accent. He’s a researcher and knows things about glyphs. Not v social for the most part. 

Ale-ale-jandro: I don’t think I was supposed to like this guy tbh, judging from the responses Nancy had for some of his SJW rants, but yo he’s not wrong. I might be biased as we are basically the same person tho. He works with the consulate and appears to have a close relationship with the museum. He hates Johana and Taylor because they’re pirates. 

Taylor Sinclair: I thought he was a lawyer for some reason? He’s an art dealer, and tbh I’m suspicious of him immediately. I think it’s the mustache. Idk what it is about it but I don’t like it. He calls you into his office because he’s concerned that someone is gonna steal from Beech Hill, which heightens my suspicion of him but whatever. 

As we continue to do errands, we get more of a feel for the museum’s financial situation. When you try to order supplies, the distributor tells you that he sent you to collections and to gtfo.

The next morning, you’re in your office when the alarm goes off, someone has stolen a jade relic of King Pacal’s. The cops come and go, you ask Joanna about it and she gives you the a-ok to snoop up in there. She appears to care more about collecting that insurance monies. Suspicious but ok. 

Henrik is apparently also nowhere to be seen? Suspicious but ok. 

Alejandro and Taylor subtly mention that they were both in the building at the time of the robbery. Idk why either of them would incriminate themselves like that? Suspicious but ok. 

You get a call from Franklin Rose, your dad’s friend that hooked you up with the internship. He’s like legally speaking I need u to investigate this. So Thug Nan is like “aw yee, I’ma do it because you told me to, and not because suspicious Taylor told me to.” 

The robbers left a calling card, because you know, all the smart robbers do that right? Also idk how the cops dropped the ball on this one because the culprit’s calling card is A HAND PRINT. I’da been running the show I would just hand printed everyone in the building, and called it a day. 

So you gotta do some more tedious chores, which you only are able to pull of because the wack who had your internship before you left a bunch of drawings as hints. Soony Joon, I’ma tell u now that I think you’re a mad lad, but also thank you for ur service. 

You get in contact with some other folks that were also struck by the thieves who hit Beech Hill. They send you some more clues. 

THEN HENRIK IS YEETED DOWN THE STAIRS (seriously, what is the deal with this series and stair yeeting?) I’m going to say now that the stairs that Henrik fell down were a lot taller than those of El Paso High School, I’m just saying, idk how Henrik didn’t die but ok. 

Homeboy has amnesia. Johana was booted out of the building for mismanaging the museum and being overall suspicious. You and I know what this means right? Time to trespass go thru everyone’s shit. 

Johana was not happy about being booted out, and begs you to prove that she didn’t steal the pacal relic so the cops will let her go and the board will let her back into the building. I don’t really want to do that but I guess.

I made zero effort to talk Franklin into letting her back in whoops 8D. But she can’t say I didn’t call him. 

Meanwhile Henrik’s nurse/therapist hits you up like “yo he kept saying ur name in his sleep so we think it’s a good idea for you to visit. You can help him get his memory back” Yeah? Well remember that I said that he wasn’t v social? I legit know NOTHING about him, especially since his desk is all locked up. Idk why he was saying my name in his delirium but I hope that he knows that I am completely loyal to Frank Hardy  Ned, and if I were to cheat on him it woulda been with my sweet Maddie in Stay Tuned for Danger. I guess I don’t blame Henrik tho, erryone wants a piece of this Thug Nan. What can I say? I live dangerously. (Altho for once I haven’t been attempted murdered) 

While trying to jog Henrik’s memory you find out:

Henrik probably maybe stole the Pacal, but it sounds like he had Taylor logic. He stole it so the real thieves wouldn’t steal it?

He’s in cahoots with smugglers

Alejandro called the cops on Johana, and needs Thug Nan to “borrow” some papers from her. I don’t like the way he went about it but I respect the balls on this man. 

You gotta find like 5 other relics to open the dumb monolith… great. I still don't know why would want to?

Pacal (the real dood not the relic) built the monolith to suffocate a scribe/reporter that was too nosy for her own good. My dood was harsh.

Thug Nan finds the Pacal because well… she had to. And slowly but surely it begins to come together. Tbh the plot to this game was so convoluted, that I wouldn’t have figured out what I had to do without calling Frank and Joe every other second. 

Somehow I gather all the relics I needed to open the damn box, and you know I’m starting to think. If this Pacal guy didn’t want this scribe lady to ever be found why the eff would he make a key to the tomb in the first place? Whatever. I open the box and T A Y L O R  S I N C L A I R LOCKS ME IN THERE WITH A THOUSAND YEAR OLD ROTTING CORPSE.  THIS MAN IS ABOUT TO FEEL THE WRATH OF THUG NAN. 

Anyway, getting out of there was not that hard, my girl the scribe shoulda made more of an effort, but hey she didn’t have a handy dandy glowstick like moi. When I got out Johana, Alejandro, and a recovered Henry were on the other side waiting? Instead of helping me? They were v creepily like “YOU DID IT NANCY WE KNEW YOU WOULD.” Except they used Dr. Seuss rhymes to tell me this which only made it creepier. Also they knew it was Sinclair without me telling them? Which is like cool but WhY DiDnT U StOp hIm. They play it off as “well he stole the fake stuff” THEY LITERALLY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT.  

Um, the end?

They left a couple of plot holes unresolved I think? Like Henrik having connections with smugglers. Why did he steal the pacal in the first place? What did he know about Taylor? Who pushed him off the pyramid? Or did he really fall? Alejandro seemed to be peachy with Beech Hill after he found out that the Pacal’s papers were legit? And Johana never asked me about the missing papers, she was also let off with a warning? Okie dokes. 

[neverwatchedonepiece]

531-533: "The Ryugu Palace! Taken by the Shark that they Saved!", "A Coward and a Crybaby! The Princess in the Hard Shell Tower!" and "It's an Emergency! The Ryugu Palace is Occupied!"

Pappagu’s gonna stroke out with stress. Yup. Any minute now.

Loved these episodes! The humour that took an exit stage left during Marineford (for obvious reasons) is back. Most of the humor was comedy of errors type stuff. We had Luffy accidentally bouncing on some giant mermaid tiddies. Luffy being unwittingly rude and poor Pappagu nearly having a stress embolism (look at those veins!) There was Zoro getting drunk and waking up in a jail cell. Brook, Usopp, Nami and Zoro accidentally occupying the entire palace and taking a bunch of important hostages... xD

There were some short updates on other characters too. Some have already had an impact on the plot. Caribou has kidnapped some Mermaids with intent to sell them at the Sabaody slave market. Without knowing it, he has exacted perfect revenge on the Strawhats! But how will you leave Fishman Island, Caribou. You don’t have a ship, you absolute roaster. 

Others I’m guessing Oda is keeping up his sleeve for later. Robin, Franky, Sanji and Chopper are still at large. Robin is wandering the island in search of important evidence of missing history. Franky, bless his mechanical heart, is off looking for Tom-san’s family. Chopper is done treating Sanji. He has a new point: Kung Fu Point. Nice to see that Chopper has some more offensive abilities that don’t completely strip him of his intelligence. :)

That’s Some Nice Real Estate, Neptune. Would Be A Shame If Someone Occupied It.

You know what? I like Neptune. His advisors might browbeat him, but at least he’s the type of ruler who will listen to advice, even if he doesn’t take it. He has his own mind and will follow his inner sense of justice, though it might conflict with what his advisors tell him.

Luffy on the Fish Boat back to Ryugu Palace was hilarious, though. Neptune kept doing a Jason Derulo: saying his own damned name all the time in the little songs he sang to himself and Luffy was like, “Mate, your chant is dumb.”  (I mean, Luffy, you’re not wrong but maybe not to the king’s face next time?) Either Neptune is chilled enough to ignore it, or he didn’t hear, Pappagu did, though, and was on hand to give Luffy a five-armed starfish spanking.

Neptune cares about his family too. The princess’ happiness is important and as she can’t get out the house much (more on that later) rescuing Megalo was a Big Deal. “Didn’t mean to save you, but I’m glad you’re okay!”

Too honest, Luffy! xD

Then Neptune told the Strawhats that one of their crewmates was already there. I knew instantly it was Zoro. Only Zoro could be that hopelessly lost that he’d accidentally infiltrate a palace with only one heavily guarded entrance and a buzzer system.

There was also a handy bit of world-building. Neptune handed Luffy a device that looked suspiciously like a pink dildo with multipurpose attachments. It was called Bubbly Coral and enables the user to form their own oxygen bubbles whenever, wherever. Useful.

They zoomed through the entrance flume and emerged into a beautiful place full of light, grand buildings, colour and dragon statues. Dat real estate.

As soon as Neptune stepped through the door, his Minister of the Right advisor (seahorse guy) got laid into him. “WTF, my lord?? You went out again on your own? You know the situation in this country??” Neptune is like Princess Jasmine All he needs is a cute Sea Tiger pet and he’s sorted. Either that, or Neptune is confident enough in his strength to face whatever’s out there. 

The Minister of the Left (catfish guy) took one look at the company Neptune had brought back and was like, “Um.... my lord, there’s something you should know about those Strawhat Pirates.” They spilled the current intel: Memaids had been kidnapped, which is something human pirates are known to do, and Madame Sharley had predicted Luffy would destroy Fishman Island. Unconscious Zoro had already been taken into custody. The rest of the Strawhats were under arrest!

(I’m having doubts about this Madame Sharley, by the way. I wonder if she’s working with Hordy Jones, or is being forced to work with him? Zero basis for this prediction. Only that the timing of the prediction is pretty damned convenient...)

Then Everyone Fell Out

Suddenly, the Strawhats were surrounded by guards. I say the Strawhats. I mean Usopp, Nami and Brook because Luffy had gone AWOL (more on that later). The Mermen made a sensible, tactical decision to burst the Strawhats’ bubbles and force them to fight in the water. But they made the mistake of showing Nami how to operate the Bubbly Coral. She used a giant one to drain the room of water. (Good job, Nami. Quick thinking as usual!) Brook had a badass moment. That’s why I like him. He can go from his goofy, kind, fun-loving self to scary swordsman with a snap of his bony fingers.

Usopp was ready to throw down, which was a nice surprise. I was so hyped to see what his new weapon can do, but was blue-balled. Ah, well. Next time! :D

Oh, and Zoro let himself out of jail. xD

Or Zori, as Neptune kept calling him. Another trait to add to Neptune being a stand up guy was that he volunteered to fight Zori because he didn’t want anyone else getting hurt. A good king!

The next thing, Zoro had plowed through everyone and Usopp was freaking out about overkill! “FFS, Zoro! We were just going to intimidate them and run!”

Zoro thought, “Yes. Run. Let’s bail.”

Usopp said, “A great plan, but we don’t know where Sunny is. Plus, the coating came off when we crashed through the bubble.”

Nami also added that the Log Pose had been unstable ever since they arrived (what does that mean?)

Then a nearby DDM rang.

Accidental Criminals

This whole scene was hilarious. Honestly, I came into this arc expecting lots of heavy stuff about Fishman vs humans racism and I’m getting accidental criminal activity and comedy hostage-takings. It’s awesome.

Zoro picked up the DDM and Usopp freaked out. “Don’t pick it you, you dumbass!” It was Fukaboshi, the eldest Merprince. He asked Zoro to open the gate.

“Yeah, no can do. But I’ll tell you what you can do...”

For Zoro had spied an Opportunity. (For all everyone calls Zoro a dumbass, he can be really clever sometimes).

“We have your father and the palace hostage. We need a new coating for the Sunny. And we need the rest of our crew: a gloomy woman, a robot, a raccoon, and a dirty water imp.”

“HAHAHAH, a dirty water imp. Classic!” Brook chortled.

“Oh, and a million Berry in cash, please, Zoro,” Nami added.

The Strawhats really have taken a level in grey morality, it’s hilarious. Their reactions to Zoro’s Big Idea were even more than I’d have expected from them two years ago (except Nami. She’s always had half an eye on treasure).  And they are clearly confident they can escape from Fishman Island in one piece.

Fukaboshi agreed because he had no choice. It seems he’s a stand up kinda guy too, because he delivered a message from Jimbei to Luffy (this caused a stir in the palace. Jimbei is even more godly down there than on the surface).

The message was: “Do not fight against Hordy. I will meet you at the Sea Forest.”

Do not fight against Hordy? Really? There’s history between them, right? Jimbei and Hordy, I mean. They were both Sun Pirates. Or is that Arlong and Jimbei? Yeah, I think it’s Arlong and Jimbei. But maybe Hordy was also on that crew? 

Something is up here...

But I never found out what because some Big Booms happened off-panel in the direction of the Princess’ room.

Which happened to be where Luffy was, of course.

Princess Peach

So Luffy, who only came to the palace for food, got fed up within 0.5 seconds of arriving and wandered off. He came across a pair of massive, solid-looking doors. A pair of axes were embedded in them. Must admit my first thought was, “Oh cool, the princess is an angry, fighting type!”

Nope. Completely wrong.

Luffy sneaked inside because he could smell food. One thing led to another and he ended up bouncing on the giant Mermaid Princess’ giant tiddies. (If Sanji ever finds out, he will never speak to Luffy again.) 

Of course, she woke up and was like, “Why is there a tiny human bouncing on my tiddies? I did not consent to this.” And she shrieked and cried, as you would if some hungry, little random was bouncing on you. I love how Luffy could not deal with her giant tears. It’s one of his rare weaknesses. Like, what, why are you crying, stop, plz, I did nothing to you.

Turns out the Princess is not a fighting type. She is actually a terrified, sweet girl who has been locked in a Hard Shell Tower for ten years because Captain Bloody Vander Decken is an annoying fucking sex-pest who will not take no for an answer!

The action briefly cut to him ranting away about how he was convinced Neptune wanted to force her into a political marriage because she was really in love with Decken. That he could not allow her to be with anyone else and he would rather see her dead than with anyone else. “Your life is either death or marriage. I will present her this lovely boomerang axe with a rose on it.” You know, because if you’re going to be decapitated, I guess it’s nice to know it’s done with love and good intentions, right? Absolutely insane. This guy is Major Incel Material.

Of course, Decken’s latest “gift” whirled into the room and Luffy stopped it. He was like, “WTF, where did this come from?”

The Guards burst in and the Princess saved Luffy’s ass by hiding him. Of course, Luffy overheard what had happened to the others. He wasn’t bothered. “Meh, that’s fine. Your lot won’t be able to control them, anyway.” Just goes to show how much faith Luffy has in his crew’s strength after those two years. 

To repay Luffy, the Princess said he could eat her giant food. While he ate, she asked him questions. The most interesting was this one:

“You’re a pirate,” she said. “Does that mean you’re a bad person?”

Luffy thought about this, then answered, “Hmm... I dunno. You decide.”

(Just another incident to add to my growing: Luffy’s Grey Morality Evidence Pile.)

The Princess told Luffy Decken has a DF power called Mark Mark. It sounds pretty useful, actually, (which is bad for her). If he designates someone as his mark, he can throw a weapon and hit them every time, unless an obstacle is in the way. That’s why she’d been locked in the Tower for ten years.

Luffy was confused, as you would be if someone told you that. “He wants to marry you but wants to kill you? WTF?” and said, “Ten years? You must be bored. I’d get sick if someone locked me up for ten years.”

Then he yelled at her because she poked his cheeks while he was eating (tbh, that would make me mad too. Just because he’s little does not mean Luffy is a pet!) But she’s just a lonely girl with minimal social skills because she’s been locked up for so long and she could not handle Luffy yelling at her.

Luffy being Luffy, was honest to the point of being Super Harsh. “You might be big, but you’re a coward and a crybaby. I don’t like you! You’ve stayed hear for ten years, eh? That could make you sick. Isn’t there anywhere you wanna go? Come on, let’s go for a walk!”

Luffy gave her the Unblinking Luffy Stare.

There is no returning from that.

Once he puts an idea in someone’s head and gives them That Look, they are done for.

The whole meeting the Princess scenes reminded me of the Big Baby from Spirited Away. The one who wouldn’t go outside because Yubaba had told him all about germs and he was afraid but was still fascinated by Chihiro because he was lonely and wanted her to play. Except this situation is more complicated because Neptune is a Good Dad and only wants to protect his daughter from a pest who he is trying to arrest but cannot find. It’s for her safety. Just as well Luffy is there with a cunning plan to get her out for a walk, eh?

Nah, Luffy. Absolutely no one will realise there’s something up here... xD

Sex-Pest Shakes Hands With Roid Peddler

Meanwhile, the shady villains have teamed up! I don’t think that’s happened in One Piece yet. It’s an alliance of convenience based on a common enemy. They both hate Neptune for different reasons. Hordy’s is political. Decken’s? Because he’s a sex-pest.

Prediction? I bet Hordy will betray Decken. Evidence? None. Just wishful thinking. I want to see Decken get his pathetic ass kicked. 

“And I would like to add a side order of salt and chili fries to our ransom demands.”

[junker-town]

The 5 most fireable NFL coaches this week

Giants head coach Pat Shurmur is on the hot seat after a loss to the Jets.

Jason Garrett joins the crowd — and we’ve got a new No. 1.

Week 10 of the 2019 season was a great one for underdogs — and a big lift for the hot seat coaches in dire need of wins.

The Jets dispatched the Giants to throw some ice on Adam Gase’s hot seat. The Browns messed around for three quarters but still found a way to beat the Bills. Mike Vrabel kept his team alive in the AFC playoff race with a comeback win over reigning MVP Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs.

That led to some changes in the fireable coach rankings. While victory was enough to keep Gase, Kitchens, and Falcons coach Dan Quinn from the top spot, it couldn’t spare them from the top five this week. And while other sideline generals like Anthony Lynn (Chargers), Doug Marrone (Jaguars), and Matt Patricia (Lions) merited debate about their futures, they’re all still relatively safe compared to their foundering peers.

Who made the list as the NFL barrels into the tail end of its season? Here are the league’s most fireable coaches after Week 10. Let’s start with a guy who probably won’t get the ax this winter (but, if we’re going by results, probably should).

5. Adam Gase, Jets

The good news: Gase’s Jets got a win. The better news: Gase appears to be getting a second year in New York no matter how badly he blows it in 2019.

At #NYJets: Owner Christopher Johnson told reporters today that Adam Gase will not be fired now or after season. Called Gase "good man, good coach." Likes dynamic w/Joe Douglas. Told team Wednesday that Gase is safe. Johnson said reaction from players was positive.

— Kimberly Jones (@KimJonesSports) November 13, 2019

The bad news: Gase’s second win in green and white came against the 2-8 Giants, and his team blew a 14-0 lead before making a comeback to claim superiority in the Battle of Who Couldn’t Care Less. His progress in New York all hinges on his ability to improve an offense that’s only ranked higher than 23rd in the NFL in points scored once since 2012. He got a season-high 34 points in Week 10, which is good! Only three of his touchdowns came from the offensive side of the ball, however, pushing that unit’s output to 11 in nine games this fall. That’s bad!

New York actually gained fewer yards in Sunday’s win (294) than it had in the previous week’s loss to the Dolphins. Six different quarterbacks (out of a possible 22) out-gained the Jets in Week 10, including Daniel Jones. There were positives from the game — New York failed to turn the ball over for the first time all year and an often toothless pass rush notched a season-high six sacks. Still, this team is far from fixed.

Gase has a little extra leeway since this is his first season with the Jets, and beating the Giants kept him from the top spot on this list. He’ll face Washington and Cincinnati in two of the next three weeks, however. A loss against either could make owner Christopher Johnson rethink his edict that his rookie head coach will see a year two.

4. Jason Garrett, Cowboys

Garrett makes his debut on this list as the only man currently leading a team with a winning record. While his Cowboys are 5-4 and would have a reserved spot in the playoffs if the season ended today, he’s failed to generate any significant progress over the last four years. His 2019 team looks every bit a paper tiger; only one of its five wins has come against a team with more than two victories.

Dallas’ flaws were on full display in a Sunday night clash against the Vikings — a team that’s been this season’s dividing line between contenders and pretenders. The defense allowed Kirk Cousins and Dalvin Cook to do just enough to keep Minnesota in front. Dak Prescott threw for 397 yards and three touchdowns, but was often overruled by coaching decisions that opted to establish a ground game that never found its rhythm:

On 1st down the #Cowboys: Passed 14 times for 108 yards (8.3 YPA). Ran 16 times for 39 yards (2.44 YPC).

— John Owning (@JohnOwning) November 11, 2019

Dallas continues to be haunted by the lingering feeling the team could have done more. Some bad playcalling and worse execution in the red zone meant two fourth-quarter drives stalled inside the Vikings’ 15-yard line, leading to three total points. Garrett refused to go for it on fourth-and-reasonable from both the Minnesota 40- and 39-yard lines. He gave up a massive chunk of yardage before a last-ditch drive in order to save a few seconds of game clock by telling Tavon Austin to fair catch an extremely returnable punt:

Jason Garrett explained what happened on the Tavon Austin fair catch against Minnesota. It's... hard to believe. (via @dallascowboys) https://t.co/1qos0U7Lad pic.twitter.com/dPKNA79zgp

— Blogging The Boys (@BloggingTheBoys) November 12, 2019

That continuing theme is what threatens to oust Garrett despite another year at the top of his division. The 10th-year head coach has one of the league’s most talented — and top-heavy — rosters. He’s got a blossoming young quarterback, an All-Pro tailback who remains one of the league’s most dangerous runners, and a defense led by players that range from high-priced veterans (DeMarcus Lawrence, Robert Quinn) to emerging young stars (Byron Jones, Leighton Vander Esch).

Despite all that, he’s one game over .500 and in danger of falling from the playoff race entirely if he can’t win the NFC East.

3. Freddie Kitchens, Browns

Kitchens threw a wrench into the gears of the Bills’ postseason machine with a potent defensive effort that kept Buffalo from completing a single pass in the red zone. Granted, Josh Allen’s budding crapulence played as much of a role in that as Cleveland did, but it was still an encouraging step forward for a team in desperate need of some momentum.

That said, this was still a rough performance for the Browns’ hamstrung offense. They ran 12 plays from within the Buffalo 5-yard line Sunday. Including penalties, those dozen snaps gained a net -7 yards and scored three points. Even if Kitchens wasn’t happy with the result, he’s going to stick to the line of thought that got him there.

“I thought those guys did a good job of overcoming that,” Kitchens told the press when asked about how frustrating the Bills’ litany of goal-line stops had been. “If we get down there again, I’m running it again ... I need to call better plays when we get down [to the goal line], but I’m telling you now we’re running the ball when we get down there.”

Kitchens’ problem isn’t just unimaginative playcalling. He’s also oscillated between wasting timeouts and burning yardage to save them. His freewheeling style has led to plot holes in his playbook. He shifts philosophies mid-game with no real rhyme or reason behind his choices. This is all a very Browns way to do things, and his 3-6 record bears that out.

Still, he got a win that could knock a potential playoff team out of the postseason. That buys him some time.

2. Dan Quinn, Falcons

The Falcons, at 2-7, are still screwed. BUT! They found a way to drag an arch-rival into the muck with them while potentially derailing the Saints’ bid for a postseason bye.

Atlanta was a two-touchdown underdog when it traveled to New Orleans, then strode out of Louisiana with a dominant 26-9 win. The Falcons held the NFC South leaders to just three conversions on 15 third- or fourth-down attempts, effectively stymying the Saints and giving fans back in Georgia a small taste of what could have been in a lost season.

Quinn still has time to rally the troops and give owner Arthur Blank a reason to keep him employed. Toppling New Orleans was a good start, but it’s likely he’s dug himself too deep a hole to climb out of after winning just one of his first eight games.

1. Pat Shurmur, Giants

Shurmur not only lost Sunday — he lost to another member of this list. New York couldn’t find the extra gear to put away Gase and a struggling Jets team. That may be the final ignominy in a Giants career filled with them. Shurmur’s team has now lost six straight games. Half of those defeats came against teams with losing records.

Team owner John Mara has remained tight-lipped on any upcoming organizational changes, but he may not have to say much to make his displeasure clear.

saw john mara very briefly after the game. mad doesn't even begin to describe the look on his face https://t.co/Y3yVGezh5o

— charles (ronald) mcdonald (@FourVerts) November 11, 2019

The Giants’ history suggests it will retain protocol and wait until the end of the season to install a new coach — the only midseason coach firing the franchise has done in the past three decades came in the middle of Ben McAdoo’s 2017 hatchet job. That means Shurmur’s got six games left to prove he can provide a tangible reason for optimism in New York.

His best bet is to continue to develop Daniel Jones. Jones was potent through the air in Week 10, becoming just the third player since 2000 to throw four touchdown passes in multiple games as a rookie. He was also a big negative in the pocket, as his three fumbles pushed his total to 10 in the last four games. I ranked them — they’re all bad!

That task is going to be even more difficult considering how banged up the Giants’ playmaking corps are. Evan Engram and Sterling Shepard are both working through maladies that have cost them multiple games this fall. Saquon Barkley’s nagging injuries limited him to the least efficient game of his career last week (13 carries, 1 rushing yard, and a handful of missed assignments on blitz pickups). It’s possible Shurmur’s future hangs on the efficacy of Golden Tate (good!), Darius Slayton (manageable?), and Wayne Gallman (oh boy) through the final two months of the season.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

529-530: "The Fish-Man Island Will Be Annihilated?! Sharley's Prophecy!" and "The King of the Fish-Man Island! Neptune, the God of the Sea!"

A rare image of Hordy Jones stepping on a lego.

Only had time for two episodes tonight. Luckily, there was enough in them to write about: including the reveal of a villain (always exciting!)

His name is Hordy Jones. He is angry, he is a Fishman, he looks oddly like the guy from ACDC and he has... a dog slung round his neck?

Not to mention the prophecies, designer boutiques, royal invitations and awkward questions.

Dreams Do Come True in Fishman Island

The episode opened with Luffy, Usopp and Chopper rushing around the harbour town, looking for a human - any human - who could donate Sanji’s blood type.

Luckily, a pair of nice okama stepped up and saved Sanji’s life. Of course, when Sanji regained consciousness, he freaked out. Usopp and Chopper both had to remind him to thank the okama. Come on, Sanji. Not cool. They saved your life in a place where donating blood is an act of great political significance. Show a little gratitude, eh?

While taking a break from Sanji’s fool antics, Chopper examined a strange mark on Luffy’s arm. Turns out it was poison! Luffy took a hit from Hyouzou (how did I miss that?) Chopper declared it very potent and wondered how the hell Luffy survived it. He asked if Luffy had ever been poisoned before.

Oh boy, Chopper. Does Luffy have a story for you. It can be told in one word: Magellan.

(Seriously, though, did Luffy not tell the Strawhats what happened to him while they were sailing, or was it all so next level that being poisoned to near death was not one of the major highlights?)

Camie, who had come to see how Sanji was doing, took Luffy and Usopp back to the Mermaid Cafe dorms. On the way, they called in to see Madame Sharly: a beautiful shark mermaid with premises at the back of Mermaid Cafe. (I think she might own the cafe because she gave Camie the day off to show the Strawhats round Fishman Island?)

Not Unless You Play the Lottery

Oh, and she is also a dab hand at crystal ball fortune-telling and has been since she was little. She has correctly predicted a few cataclysmic events, including the war in Marineford and Whitebeard’s death. Recently, she’s stopped using the crystal ball because she can’t stand knowing bad things will happen. I suppose Whitebeard is the kind of guy that would go to war no matter what. I can’t see anyone convincing him otherwise, even if it was someone like Sharly, who knew he’d be killed in battle.

I wonder if she’s been burned before by using the crystal ball? She was all dramatic and stared off into the middle distance when she said, “It’s better not to know the future.” Something has clearly gone wrong in her life that she has that attitude to such a strong power.

Luffy, who seems to be living on another planet at the moment, said, “All very well and good but do you know how mermaids poop?”

That’s right, Luffy. Always asking those important questions!

It was round about then that Camie realised she’d forgot to deliver the clams to Pappagu! So they hurried off to find him at another, fancier cafe up in Fishverly Hills (lol), where they found Brook, aka Soul King, living it up with Pappagu and a couple of mermaid fans. (I love how famous Brook is in his own right and not just as a member of the Strawhats.)

There was a lot of good world-building here. Courtesy of Pappagu, who tried so hard to be a Good Exposition Starfish (why won’t anyone listen to him?), I now know that Merpeople don’t eat meat and fish (but Fishmen do). That King Neptune runs the Island. That, if a Merperson and Fishman marry and have kids, any children they have will either be a Merperson or a Fishman, not a harmonious amalgamation of both. 

And the good news is that the Flying Dutchman/Captain Vander Decken stuff was not a random encounter character to be used once and disposed of! Not sure what his role will be yet, but Oda seems to have something planned, as he has been given backstory. Turns out Brook was right about the original Flying Dutchman crew being several hundred years old, but the original Captain Vander Decken reached Fishman Island and died there. The one manning the Flying Dutchman now is Vander Decken IX, his descendant. Apparently, the guy has a bounty and the whole island’s been looking for him for ages because he started sending unwanted love letters, packages and threatening marriage proposals that scared the princess to the point a warrant was issued for his arrest.

Looks like someone can’t take no for an answer, eh?

But the most interesting thing was this.

Big Momma’s House

Luffy noticed the sign on a candy factory. Pappagu explained that when Whitebeard had shuffled off his mortal coil, the role of Fishman Island Protector became vacant.

The position was filled by Charlotte Linlin (or Big Mom, to the rest of us): one of the four (now three) Yonkou. She hasn’t been mentioned since Thriller Bark, so I was excited for that miniscule teaser Oda gave. 

Big Mom demands loads of candies as a fee for her protection. This confused Luffy. “But she’s protecting this land after old man Whitebeard died? Isn’t she a good person?”

Pappagu shrugged, as only starfish can. “Whitebeard didn’t demand anything, but maybe Big Mom sees protection more as a business.”

Interesting... she’s definitely a different kind of Yonkou.

But I didn’t have time to think about it for long because the action switched to Sharley, who had burst out onto the street, freaking out about Luffy, begging everyone she could  grab hold of to “find Strawhat Luffy and throw him out of this country!”

Wait, what...? Wasn’t she happy to see them ten minutes ago? Why? What had caused the change of heart?

Apparently, she saw a vision of Luffy in her crystal ball: an image of him surrounded by fire. “At Strawhat’s hands, Fishman Island will be destroyed!”

Eh? Surely not. There has got to be some mistake here. There is no way Luffy would sink Fishman Island. Or at least not on purpose. That is the only way I could believe Sharley’s vision would ever come true.

Hmm....

This Guy Is So Hard, He Puts Sharks in Sweaters

Cliffhanger over, I steamed straight onto episode 530. After a dark and mysterious opening (more on that later), the action cut back to the Strawhats. Pappagu was explaining his job. Turns out he’s not just an adorable starfish on land: in Fishman Island, he is a Super Influencer: a rich designer and president of the Criminal Brand clothing company - a famous fashion line.

As they approached one of his shops, the Strawhats heard some serious, weapons-grade haggling within. 

Of course it was Nami! 

The harassed shopkeeper was pleased to see Pappagu. This lasted until his boss told the Strawhats they could have as much free clothing as they liked in return for saving his ass at Sabaody.

Pappag, that was a rookie mistake. Never tell pirates they can take as much free stuff as they want. THEY ARE PIRATES! xD

But that was not the only drama going down in Fishverly Hills. Outside, there was a commotion. The Strawhats, Camie and Pappagu went to check why everyone was shrieking.

King Neptune had arrived. The big, bearded, booming-voiced ruler of Ryugu Kingdom and Fishman Island. Golden rays of light bathed the spectators. I wondered why he kept mispronouncing the word “ham” in Spanish.

It was the first time Camie had ever seen him. The King only descended from the Upper World if there was trouble. He hadn’t brought guards. Very strange! Ryugu Palace is a sacred place for Fishmen. A celestial place where ordinary people aren’t allowed to go. Where the princes and princess live.

The King turned and said, “Oi, Megalo. Are you sure these are the guys?” When the cute, sweater-wearing shark popped out of nowhere and confirmed (I love that it has a name), King Neptune invited the Strawhats to Ryugu Palace.

“Is there good food there?” Luffy asked. Priorities, amirite?

“Of course. We’re planning a banquet,” Neptune answered.

Luffy couldn’t have accepted any quicker. He piled onto Neptune’s fishboat with Usopp, Nami and Brook, then looked back. “Aren’t you coming?” Camie and Pappagu were frozen in awe.

“We don’t deserve to go to Ryugu...”

That was the Wrong Answer. Rank and status does not impress or intimidate Luffy (and that’s one of the reasons I like him so much). He told them to stop being dumb and get on. 

It’s funny how the rest of the Fishmen and Merpeople are so awed of Neptune, yet he was completely unbothered when Luffy invited some commoners to his house. Neptune is either more chilled than he seems, or he is up to something.

But not everyone is as enamored with King Neptune...

This Guy Is Not A Fan

This is the Fishman behind the New Fishman Pirates: Hordy Jones. 

Now, I can’t help but compare this guy to Arlong. He’s a shark fishman and he has similar views to Arlong.  

Hell, Arlong was the first real villain I took to in One Piece. The first real threat. He did horrific things. I’ll never forget that black and white scene when he shot Bellemere in the head. When Nami broke down and Luffy laid his straw hat on her head. Then there was the walk to Arlong Park. All those iconic moments.

Hordy Jones has big shoes to fill. It’s early yet, so I’ll wait until I’m further in to make any judgments. When I first watched Thriller Bark, I was kinda bemused by Moria, then he ended up one of my favourites. 

This guy has got a hold of some Fishman Roids and likes necking a ton to gain super strength. Apparently, the Roids shorten lifespan but Hordy does not care. When a bunch of escapee human pirates were reported for desertion (they must have met Hammond and enlisted. Now I think I know why there haven’t been many visitors to Fishman Island lately!) Hordy ate a meaty fistful of those Fish Roids like they were candies someone had packaged up for Big Mom.

Then he swam off and deliberately crushed the deserters while handcuffed to show how strong he was. It was cool the way he punched through the ship like a cannonball. He also let the hapeless crew live because: “Humans killed Fisher Tiger and shattered Arlong’s dreams. The dark and tragic history of Fishmen Island will end with us, the New Fishmen Pirates. You humans, survive with cuts and bruises to show the people on earth what happened to you in the sea, and who you met. Tell them how horrendous it was. We’ll capture the centre of the world, Fishman Island, from the gutless god of the sea, Neptune, and drag you humans down to the dark sea bed. You’ll all learn that the Fishmen are the superior race.”

I can tell he’s ambitious, is this Hordy Jones.

Unfortunately, the very same humans who crushed Arlong’s dreams have just landed on Fishman island. And he knows it. I wonder what he’ll say to Luffy when he meets him. That should be an interesting conversation.

Oh yeah, and Caribou has escaped the barrel because some mermaids opened it. No idea what he’s up to now, but it won’t be anything good.

Say yes to drugs on Fishman Island!