#gusto kita with all my hypothalamus

[object-at-noon]

Two by Dwein Baltazar down

[pasagip]

Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus

Who watched this movie na? I've watched it many times na and palagi parin akong nakukuha ng movie na to.

My thoughts about this movie is stuck talaga sa utak ko all the time, even the theme song of that movie. Para kasing sa movie, yung apat na boys is like representation of how boys can treat you or the different boys that you will met ba ga, gets nyo? basta yun na yun huhuhu I don't know who or what Aileen is, but one thing is for sure that she is your dream girl that will stay in your dreams only.

[filmkatt]

Hi, i hope you are doing wel. Please please please, could you watch the film gusto kita with all my hypothalamus. I couldn't help but think of you after finishing this film, I feel you would like it so much, and I felt so grateful to have you in my lifetime.

Hi! I will watch it this weekend, ty! Do I know you? Please pm me.

[benefits1986]

Living Legends are Made of Shattered Bones & Finely Crushed Ego

South to Katips Station na ba talaga tayo? Thank you, Vito Cruz Station and Ikot-Toki. HUY. LUH.

As a side note agad: Ang first ever subok ko sa screenwriting as a non-technical writer ng scripts for movie and film with dyslexia na may gingko biloba and fucking grammar problems ay tinawag ng prof ko sa grad school for my elective? Akala ko, babaralin ako e. Ready naman ako... always. Sabi niya, for pitching na raw ito sa mainstream media na hindi malapit sa puso ko. Go figure. Hahahaha. I was dumbfounded and hindi ko tinapos kasi nga gusto ko sa Netflix or other online streaming platforms tulad ng IWantTV (hahaha) siya i-pitch. Arte ko talaga. Hahahaha. Got it from mom, I guess. Super nagulat ako e. Not bad for a first timer, right? Hihi. Huhu. Haha. Hehe. Hoho. Probably my most "lakas maka-ego and hypothalamus" boost in my existence levels 'tong bit na 'to. :p KILIG LEVELS: 1000000000000 Also me rn: Magkano ba isang full-length and short film script ngayon? DM slide please. CHOZ. Wala talaga akong idea pa kasi ayokong ma-corrupt ang WIP files ko. Charaught.

________

It's so excruciating to go from the South all the way to Diliman and beyond. While driving is an option, the truth is that I can leave the house at 5:30 AM, ride the train going to Q Ave. then ride an Ikot. Minimum travel time is around 1 hour, 45 minutes when I don't brisk walk. If I'm going to Katips, that would take me around the same time. This is how I hustled back in 2015. This is not the case anymore these days, though. Apart from being frailer than usual, Manila's public transport is too painful to watch and conquer. Another option would be driving to Boni or Shaw and parking there to somehow avoid the hassle of commuting from my tiny home. Guada and Kapitolyo are the main bitch roads. These are the type of roads that will make you pray and surrender, traffic-wise.

However, it's funny how my time and motion version of my dream (turned harsh reality) school, Diliman brings me to Katips area. Alam ko lang talaga kasi Philcoa, Maginhawa at Krus na Ligas e.

LOL. As a Southie for life, the roads here are too busy, too wide and too densely populated. I can not unsee. I'm always bothered and curious because I keep stumbling upon stuff that has derivatives from the sedated South. I abhor all kinds of foot bridges because it means I have to walk a lot while overthinking about the thought of me tripping or falling down the merciless road on my way to carnage. Ang lala 'di ba?

The first time I told mother dragon that I got accepted in Diliman, she was RBF but I can sense that she is crying so badly deep inside. HAHAHAHAHA. Later, she told me during our three-hour morning routine that she was so sorry that she didn't allow me to go after my dreams. And that she wasted my time even more. Of course, I retorted with a huge lump in my throat. I told her flatly that it's okay because I'm trained to wait even when I'm totally impatient. What's more important is that while I wasted time in Vito Cruz, she got her dream; hence, win-win... at my expense.

I think her next lines were probably my salvation after a long damnation, an Exodus: Anak, sorry talaga. Akala ko mapipigilan kita sa pangarap mo. Hindi pala. Sorry. Siguro kung sinuportahan kita noon, wala ka dito ngayon. Proud ako sa'yo, anak, mula noon hanggang ngayon. Me: Ma, eto lang kasi 'yan. Kung nakuha ko na pangarap ko noon, e 'di sana wala akong time at pake na alagaan ka ngayon 'di ba? Syempre, dream ko 'yun e. Ibang usapan na 'yun. LUH. Mom teared up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That feeling of seeing her actually being apologetic is what made me euphoric; however, I knew that my other dream was to let her live vicariously through my Vito Cruz days. What I realized during countless days, hours and minutes of choosing to be at home with mom was that, time is but a bloody social construct. Syempre, hindi pa at its peak itong realization na 'to because I'm a newbie adult then. I held on to one of my favorite Psalms: God is faithful to the brokenhearted with so much fervor meets delulu levels. I was an agnostic, then. But, I think cool off phase ko lang talaga 'to with the church life. Hindi naman ako officially nakipag-break sa Katolisismo, because I knew that apart from breaking mom's bones and heart again, my faith is my refuge.

And so, I finished off some important work stuff and while I'm yet to finish the mega working file that would spell 2024, especially Q1, I braved my way to my first ever face to face meet up with the living legend (aka National Artist, baby) Ricky Lee and friends. HUHUHUHUHUHU. What took me this long? Here we go!

27 MARCH 2020. Syempre, sagad deadline tayo sa pag-submit ng "what if + this would matter 1 year from now" letter of intent + author's bio to Ricky Lee and his team. This involved his first ever online writing workshop. I was in legit spiral mode and still thankful that I have steady work, at home pa. Might be because I tried to recover from the high turned crash of my Japan dream. Might be because I was shackled and I'd like to dress in laces. Arte. Might be because I was bored to death and ready to not give a fuck anymore. I revisited my letter of intent. Intense. Two pages. LOL. It read "Digital Story Binder" pala. Ang angas. Ang feeling. :D CHOZ. Kahihiyan. Hahahaha.

Dinaan natin sa listicle ang mga reasons why I need and want a spot because mas madali siyang basahin and digest ng kung sino mang babasa. And syempre, may kalakip na author's bio. Shemay. May linyahan pang: I am not a storyteller. I'm but a story binder. Rationale: Andami ng kwento sa mundo. OPAK. Reading this ka-shemayan is very curious lalo 2023 is ending soon.

Anyway, I'd most likely do a more focused dive on this bit since may tatapusin pa ako today. :)

To cut the story short, I purposefully flaked and skipped all meet ups IRL with Ricky Lee and friends because I was not ready to face this dream then. I felt like I was never enough and that my drama, my dirty linen, my frailty is not worth their time and mine, too. OPAK. Diesel girl kasi talaga ako e. I want it to brew the right way even when it had to take years pero bawi na tayo bilang road to 14 going 40 na ang peg natin sa life.

Last night, I met the living legend with akbay pa from him in his humble home. HUHUHU. Sobrang grounded. Sobrang wapakels. Sobrang organic niya. I don't like mainstream movies that much, honestly. But mom likes Anak a lot. I didn't know nga that Ricky Lee wrote it e. Hahahaha. But, when I did my research, all the mainstream films I like are penned by him. Muro Ami, Himala, Moral, and syempre, Anak. Hahahaha. Hindi naman ako super pasaway pero feel na feel ng nanay kong pakitong-kitong na suwail ako and kahit hindi naman siya OFW, feel na feel niya ang lahat ng dayukdok as a stay at home mother na selfless to the highest level.

I'd most likely squeeze in more time for finishing my scripts, finally. Why now lang? 'Di ako handa noon e. 'Di ako in to terms sa what I have and what I don't have pa. Sa pagsusulat kasi, sabi nga ni Bob Ong, 'yung rejection dito, malala. 'Di tulad nung pagbabalik ng Size 8 na sapatos sa SM via sales lady. Pero, sanay naman akong pagalitan, makarne, malambast. So eto na tayo. Eto na tayo sa exciting part as a saling kitkit kahit bano akong mag-ten-twenty since birth.

Baka sumubok muna tayo sa Vivamax kasi 'di umano, doon maraming budget. Pero syempre, ang subtext ay tungkol sa gender equality and mala-social commentary in the light of L meaning landi to the max. LUH. Confirmed nung isang writer kagabi. LUH. Shemay. Choz. Tawang-tawa ako sa mga usapan as in. Para akong isang Avatar na getting to know Pandora: Third World x Highway to Hell Edition. Abangan!

Kidding aside kahit jokes are half meant... these days, ang pinaka optimal route ng writers is script for... digital content aka content creators' hell and heaven. Ola. Ola. Ola. Olalalalala. Stumbled upon this the past months pero obvious naman kasi noh. Duh.

PS: Gusto kong i-optimize ang website ni Ricky Lee. UGH. How po ba i-pitch ito? Leads gen po bitbit ko, Sir. Baka naman. In black and white lang kasi dapat 'tong palette to begin with plus... okay, back to reality muna. Laters!

[zzarizzaristore]

Last night was another session of our #relationshipgrowthdiaries charaught. Muntik pang hindi namin masolve kagabi agad agad kase heto nanaman ako sa "out na rin me good nightt" lines ko. Mayghad self kelan ka mag-go-grow??? HAHAHAHAA

Lagi kong sinasabi sa kanya na magsabi sakin kung ano yung nararamdaman niya. Kung nahehurt ba siya, kung sumusobra na ba ako, kase baka isip nang isip kung san nagkamali pero ako naman pala talaga yung mali. Na nasa akin ang mali.

Nasabi na niya finally. Well sinasabi naman niya lagi HAHAHAHAA I mean those exact words.

"Hindi ako open kase close ka."

And yes, aware ako run. And na yun nga, lagi naman niya yun sinasabi sakin XD Na hindi niya masabi sakin side niya, thoughts niya, kase alam niyang hindi naman ako maniniwala. Kase alam niyang kung ano ang isang tama para sa akin, yun na yun. Wala nang makakapagbago nun. Na kahit paulit ulit niyang sabihin, kung ano na yung para sakin, yun na talaga.

Bakit hindi ako mag grow? Hindi ko rin alam HAHAHAHAHA Bakit siya lang ang laging nag-a-adjust? Eh dalawa naman kayo sa relationship diba? Yes. Alam ko. Hindi ko na e-explain side ko kase bakit pa ko mag-e-explain mali naman ako HAHAHAHA And hindi na yun explanation. Excuse na yun.

Last night nag-request siya kung pwede bang hindi na muna kami mag-usap. And made decisions na alam niyang magulo pa ang utak. So we cleared things up. And talked about things na we think lacking to the both of us. After the talk, okay na. Na we just need to clear our minds. Na we can do this both at the same time. Na hindi naman laging "out na rin me good nightt" ang sagot then next morning okay na.

Hindi ko talaga alam anong magandang ginawa ko sa past life ko, or sa present life ko, to deserve a partner like her. Sobrang important to have someone who always understands your storms. Sobrang important na laging may magsasabi sayo na "Alam ko na yan. Naiintindihan naman kita." Sobrang important na you know that that someone you are in a relationship with ay tanggap ka wholeheartedly. Na all your flaws and imperfections ay wala lang. All your insecurities are kissed out kase hindi naman mahalaga yung mga yun. Most importantly, sobrang halaga na you are loved. Dearly.

Babe, thank you for alwaysssss understanding me. Ikaw na lang laging nag-a-adjust noh? Hahaha. Sorry if I am in the middle (i think HAHAHA) ng mature and immature sa relationship. Hehe. Thank you for always saying those tons of I love yous, and I miss yous and see you soon messages. And those maraming maraming mahal na mahal (binibilang ko kung ilang mahal yun actually HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH) at even random times. Kase gusto mo lang magsabi hahaha. Then magtatanong ako why HAHAHAHAA CRAZY I KNOWWWWW HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thank you babe!!! Again, from the buttom of my hypothalamus, I wav yuuu!!! 🤟🏻

[sowhatisthisfor]

Cinemalaya 2018

The complete list of full-length movies (I’ve seen) at this year’s Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival (updated daily until the end of the festival):

Opening film:

1. BuyBust [Erik Matti, 2018, Philippines] a spectacular display of astounding filmmaking where every element is designed and choreographed fittingly well. Entertaining yet harrowing from start to finish, it's the kind of film that stays. 10/10 

Full-length in competition:

2. Kung Paano Hinihintay Ang Dapithapon [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] a small film that tackles layers after layers of things too close to heart. Sincere and profound, definitely my favourite. 10/10 

3. ML [Benedict Mique, 2018, Philippines] teeming with ingenuity and mastreful filmmaking, it's suspense too relevant for anyone to miss. 10/10

4. Liway [Kip Oebanda, 2018, Philippines] Is at most powerful when it exposes the correlation of facts and fiction. Doesn’t hit you right away but when it does, it hits hard. It hits still. 9.5/10

5. Pan de Salawal [Che Espiritu, 2018, Philippines] a hard-hitting reminder that the most painful challenges people overcome are also the most rewarding. Don’t be afraid to feel them all. 8/10

6. Distance [Perci Intalan, 2018, Philippines] a tender family drama with powerful performances of characters who choose to love no matter how wrong or right. 7.5/10 

7. Mamang [Denise O'hara, 2018 Philippines] I like its concept overall, but its treatment is somehow apathetic. 7/10

8. Musmos Na Sumibol sa Gubat ng Digma [Iar Arondaing, 2018, Philippines] At times, it feels like it's trying too hard both to make a point and to sound subtle to a point that it feels a bit disconnected. 7/10

9. Kuya Wes [James Mayo, 2018, Philippines] explores the fundamental need of being appreciated in a light yet stinging narrative. I don't like a number of things, but the soundtrack works well, it's satiating. 6.5/10

10. School Service [Louie Ignacio, 2018, Phiippines] the intention is there but the concept isn't concrete enough to be decently executed. 2/10

11. The Lookout [Afi Africa, 2018, Philippines] is a joke after joke after joke, so unfunny, it deserves a laugh. 1/10

Best of the Festivals/Indie Nation:

12. Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] a genius anti-romance that plays along the lines of loving the thought of being in love and making yourself believe in your own ethereality. I love it. 9/10

13. Si Chedeng at Si Apple [Rae Red, Fatrick Tabada, 2017, Philippines] Hilarious with punchlines, intelligent with comebacks. This is comedy with brain, soul, and heart. 9/10

14. Smaller and Smaller Circles [Raya Martin, 2017, Philippines] Suspense done right but there's something about its exchanges that seems unnatural. 7.5/10

15. Eternity Between Seconds [Jan Alec Figuracion, 2018, Philippines] There’s comfort somewhere between the discomforts of bad acting here. 7/10

16. Mga Mister Ni Rosario [Alpha Habon, 2018, Philippines] Entertaining but also miserably problematic. 5/10 

17. Bomba [Ralston Jover, 2017, Philippines] is brave in its defiance, bold in its commentary but it somehow failed to deliver. 5/10

Documentaries:

18.  Of Love & Law [Hikaru Toda, 2017, Japan] Questions the intricacies of Japanese culture through a collection of simple yet meaningful moments. 8/10 

19. Beastmode [Manuel Mesina III, 2018, Philippines] ingenious and inventive but it’s not the kind I enjoy. 6/10

20. Call Her Ganda [PJ Raval, 2018, Canada, Philippines] I'm not convinced of its storytelling, still an important one to watch though. 6/10

21. A Piece of Paradise [Patrick Alcedo, 2017, Canada, Philippines] It’s okay but there’s nothing much in there. 5/10

22. Life is What You Make It [Jhett Tolentino, 2018, United States, Philippines] For some reasons, I’m not sold on how it tries to inspire. 4/10

Visions of Asia:

23. Bad Genius [Nattawut Poonpiriya, 2017, Thailand] Brimming with excellent editing and direction, it is a thriller and an ingenius commentary on how social class inequalities lead to inevitable corruption. Brilliant. 9.5/10

24. Beti [P. Sheshadri, 2017] manages to oppose patriarchy in Indian culture in such an innocent yet  intelligable perspective. 9/10

25. Goodbye, Grandpa [Yukihiro Morigaki, 2017, Japan] depicts the kind of mourning we tend to overlook and is only intensified by the bonding of family. 6/10

26. Nearest and Dearest [Kseniya Zueva, 2017, Russia] displays the weakening social and moral values in contemporary Russian society. 6.5/10

Other special screenings:

27. Ang Panahon ng Halimaw [Lav Diaz, 2018, Philippines] Sarcasm at its best. Quite fun. 9/10

28. Batch 81 [Mike de Leon, 1982, Philippines] In its subversiveness and its sardonic undertone is a remarkable spectacle of expertise, bravery, esoterica, and dynamism. 9/10 

29. Manila by Night [Ishmael Bernal, 1980, Philippines] a classic representation of the realities of how Manila is a witness to the city's moral lethargy. 8/10

Related links:

Cinemalaya 2017: My picks

Cinemalaya Must Haves: Your movie marathon survival kit

[pinoyartist]

Dwein Baltazar is known for the films that she directed and wrote, which are "Oda sa Wala" (2018), "Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus" (2018), and "Mamay Umeng" (2012) "Oda Sa Wala," which is co-produced by Black Sheep, has won top prizes at the QCinema International Film Festival, including Best Director, Best Actress for Marietta Sumbong and Best Screenplay in 2018. Dwein Baltazar is also known for writing the box office hit "Exes Baggage" and co-writing "Open," which is an entry to the 3rd Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino. She has also written and directed the iWant series "Past, Perfect Future." PinoyArtist.com aims to help the Filipino culture and arts community by highlighting your struggles to turn isolation to inspiration. How do you keep yourself inspired during pandemic? Feel free to email us at admin@pinoyartist.com to get a chance to be featured! #DweinBaltazar #OdaSaWala #Blacksheep #QCinemaInternationalFilmFestival #BestDirector #BestActress #BestScreenplay #PistangPelikulangPilipino #Exesbaggage #Pinoyartist

[keepmnemosyne]

PPP 2020

SHORT FILMS:

1. She’s Perfect, 2020

2. Night Shift, 2020

FEATURE/FULL-LENGTH FILMS:

1. Star Na Si Van Damme Stallone 

2. He Who Is Without Sin 

3. Ang Huling Chacha ni Anita

4. Edward

5. Sakaling Hindi Makarating 

6. Billie & Emma

7. Mga Mister ni Rosario 

8. Sila-Sila

9. Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus 

10. Ulan 

11. Never Not Love You 

12. Rainbow’s Sunset 

13. Transit

14. Paglipay

15. Cleaners

16. Insiang

[jplorapa]

QCINEMA 2019 FILMS IN REVIEW PART 1

BY THE GRACE OF GOD

 Napakaganda ng pelikulang ‘By the Grace of God” na dinirek ni Francois Ozon.

Ang pelikulang “By the Grace of God” ay tungkol sa tatlong lalaking inabuso ng pari na pinagbuklod ng isang adhikain na mabigyang hustisya ang pang-aabusong ginawa sa kanila ng pinagkatiwalaan nilang pari noong bata pa sila. Mabibigyan pa ba sila ng hustisya makalipas ang ilang dekada? Mapapaalis ba nila ang pari sa kanyang ministeryo para hindi na ito gawin sa ibang bata?

Maaari siyang maikumpara sa Academy Award-winning film na "Spotlight" (2015).

Matapang na tinalakay sa pelikula ang epekto ng pang-aabuso ng pari sa mga kabataan at kung paano naapektuhan ang mga buhay nila na dala-dala nila hanggang sa kanilang pagtanda. Mahusay ang ensemble of actors.

 Gustong gusto ko ang eksena na inamin ng isang biktima sa harap ng pamilya niya na minolestiya siya ng pari. Kahit ang eksenang nagalit ang kapatid ng isang biktima dahil parang nakatutok lang sa kanya ang lahat dahil sa nangyari sa kanyang pang-aabuso.

Maski ang closing scene na tinanong ng anak sa tatay niya kung naniniwala pa siya sa Diyos. Nakakagalit ang eksena na nagharap ang isang biktima ng pangmomolestiya at ang pari mismo na gumawa ng pang-aabuso. Nakakalungkot ang sinabi ng isang biktima na sinira ng pari ang imahe ng pagiging ama sa kanya.

 Nakakagalit din ang eksena na mismong ang cardinal ay gusto pang palitan ang term na "pedophile" na "pedosexual".

 Habang pinapanood ko ang pelikula, napapaisip ako na hindi natin masisisi kung bakit ang mga naging biktima ng pang-aabuso ay nawawala ng pananampalataya sa Diyos. 

 Ang simbahan ang naging sandigan ng pananampalataya na inaasahan nating magbibigay gabay sa atin. Kung ang mga pinuno ng simbahan tulad ng mga pari ang siya pang magiging dahilan para mapalayo tayo sa Diyos dahil sa kanilang pang-aabuso, paano pa tayo o maski ang iba ay maniniwala sa kredibilidad at integridad ng tagapalaganap ng salita ng Diyos?

 Ngayon ulit ako nakaramdam ng galit sa panonood ng pelikula dahil sa mga dinanas na pang-momolestiya sa mga biktima at aksyon ng simbahan. 

 Bilang manonood, engaged ako sa mga tauhan. Hanga din ako sa pagdirek ni Francois Ozon.

BABAE AT BARIL

 Isang gabi, isang mahiyaing saleslady (Janine Gutierrez) ang nakakita ng baril na babago sa kanyang buhay.

 Opening scene at opening credit pa lang plus napakagandang soundtrack ay nakuha na ang interes ko. Tarantino-esque ang style at fast-paced ito. Idagdag pa ang mahusay na cinematography ni Tey Clamor.

 Magaling si Janine Gutierrez sa pelikulang ito. Hanga ako na dalawang magandang pelikula ang nagawa niya ngayong taon. Nauna muna ang Elise (2019). Maaaring maihalintulad sa character ni Michael Douglas sa pelikulang Falling Down (1993) ang character na ginampanan ni Janine Gutierrez dito sa pelikula. Kumbaga, siya ang female version. 

 Mahalaga ang paggamit ng plant and pay-off device sa pelikula. Dito natin natuklasan kung paano napasakamay kay Janine ang baril.

 Isa na naman itong pelikula na may #MeToo Movement na tema. Ang baril ang nagsilbing kapangyarihan ng bida laban sa mga nang-aapi sa kanya.

 Sana tumutok na lang talaga ang kwento sa karakter ni Janine kasi hindi ako interested sa ibang kwento na connected kahit sa ibang character kung bakit at paano nakuha ang baril.

 Kung ang “Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus” ay ipinakita ang Quiapo at Recto, sa “Babae at Baril” naman ay pinakita ang Cubao.

 KABUL, CITY IN THE WIND

 "Kabul, City in the Wind" somewhat reminds me of "The Kite Runner". Mabuti na rin na nabasa at napanood ko ang "The Kite Runner" kasi nabigyan ako ng idea regarding Afghanistan.

 Ito ang docu na sinundan ang buhay ng isang amang bus driver at mga batang lumaki at naninirahan sa mapanganib na sitwasyon sa Afghanistan.

 Ito ang maganda sa mga docu dahil kahit hindi tayo nakakapunta sa mga lugar tulad ng Afghanistan ay nabibigyan tayo ng realidad sa mga pinagdadaanan ng mamamayan ng kanilang bansa.

 Sa bawat tunog ng putok ng baril o pagsabog ng bomba, nandoon ang takot kung makakaligtas ba ang mga case studies sa docu.

 Nakakatuwa ang 2 old couple na nasa likuran ko kasi apektado sila sa mga bata sa docu. Mga walang takot ang mga bata na naglalaro sa ruins. 

 Tulad ng kasabay ko manood, nakuha ng docu ang aking simpatiya sa mga case study ng docu na ito sa Afghanistan.

[katgonzales]

Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus x Taumbayan

[filmpolicereviews]

Episode 33 - Podcast Kita With All My Hypothalamus

Episode 33 – Podcast Kita With All My Hypothalamus

3WCC with the cast and director: Dwein Baltazar, Iana Bernardez, Nicco Manalo and Dylan Ray Talon. Not in picture: Anthony Falcon

Dwein Baltazar’s Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus recently won FAMAS Best Picture, and it’s not hard to see why. Her love letter to Manila is haunting and beautiful in more ways than one. In celebration of the film’s first anniversary since hitting Cinefilipino…

[kaelco]

Hi there! I just watched Mahal Kita with All My Hypothalamus. In the scene with Pam reciting your poem, I was wondering- did you write it for the movie itself? (also where can I read more of your works lmao)

Oy.

Wrote the poem several years back. Dwein is an old friend; she got in touch while making Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus. She had a certain tone/texture in mind and asked if I had a poem lying around that might work. Sent her a couple, she thought Panawagan was a good fit. I think it was, yeah.

Ateneo Press should still have copies of What Passes for Answers, my first book of poetry in English. Vagabond Press in Australia I think also ships a chapbook of mine, Canopy. As for a book of poetry in Filipino– some day, some day.

[benefits1986]

Still, Your Heartaches Bend

Research shows that the Christmas season is the same season where hearts break and relationships come to an end. For some weird reasons, I have been in contact with 7 people who have ended their relationships which are considered to be long-term. Of course, I exert much effort to hear out their heartbreak stories that usually end up in monologues wherein they are often too caught up with the pain --whether it be real or the phantom kind of pain. 

Ang daming reasons why. Both walang kwenta at magagandang kwentong ang sarap gawing katha. But, the thing is, there are more heartbreaking stories that make my resting bitch face move. The past months, I made a pact to go beyond the screens I have been trying to marry into my routine thinking I’m all green and go on this battlefield. Mali pala all the while. I ache for real things that allow me to see beyond what is always quantified. That said, here are the things that to me, put any “oh-gosh-my-relationship-with-so-and-so-came-to-an-end” stories to shame, shame, shame:  ARAY NA ‘KO STORY 01 At the ever-kainis Multi stoplight at the area of C-5 extension, I handed over a carrot muffin to a random beggar. I was extremely hungry but decided to give it away because I found it too sweet plus the fact that sabi nga, when it hurts (as in ang sakit ng tiyan ko because I had to rush to QC before rush hour that time), that’s the time when giving is real kahit ang babaw lang. The beggar got it and she took out a bottle of water and immediately ate the muffin. Medyo nagalangan pa ako that time kasi I had two bites na sa muffin. Inisip ko pa sana hindi siya laway-conscious kasi nakakahiya. Though I can barely see her facial expression because she shielded her face with a shirt due to the bipolar weather, I froze on the spot. ‘Yung simpleng dahilan na super sweet lang ng carrot muffin na halagang Php 13.00 sa hypermarket, ang layo ng tinawid. Random things can lead you to see things that you often overlook or choose not to look at. 

ARAY NA ‘KO STORY 02 In a world where using a landline causes neck strain and that “ang-init-na-ng-pakiramdam-ng-ears-ko” feeling, had to talk to an elderly lady to update her regarding something involving an emergency. After giving her a rundown of the things she wants to know and the things she needs to know, she shared how sad it is to be regarded as a pabigat and a villain in a complicated story. She kept on saying that she feels like contrary to people who’d want to live and see their old age, here she is, being attacked because she’s not as strong, not as lucrative and not as sharp as before. Beshiekeyk, napatigil ako pero hindi ako sumuko, so I joked her, “’Nay, akin na lang lupa mo para tapos ang usapan. Walang gulo. Everybody happy?” She laughed out loud and told me na loko raw talaga ako. And I replied naman that at least I made her laugh the laugh that made me swallow a little harder than usual. She told me she missed having me around. 

ARAY NA ‘KO STORY 03 It was 9:30 AM in an island in Siargao and while my tummy grumbled while waiting for brunch that took forever to arrive, Red Horse Litro muna and rum Coke on the side. I was talking to a local there and he shared that Manila made him leave the best place on earth thinking that there’s something better than this paradise. He talked about his expectation and how those expectations burn to ground as soon as his plane landed in Manila. To many, this may seem so petty, but when you look at him really well, beshiekeyk, seryoso talaga siya. He thought he’d finally have the big leap in the city, instead, he found himself questioning how city dwellers are able to live in such kind of situations and conditions. Nausog naman ‘yung ego at puso ko sa remark niya na ‘yun. I asked him what his goal is now that he’s back and he smiled, stretched out his arms and legs, chugged another glass of Red Horse and said that he wants to see the best reviews of his work in TripAdvisor. I told him that he won’t be able to get decent sleep if that’s his goal. He laughed and said, oo nga raw. He checks it every single day before he sleeps kaya ‘dina siya makatulog. 

ARAY NA ‘KO STORY 04 “I want to go home because I can’t afford to see my kids living this kind of life,” he said. I asked, “Are you sure you won’t walk out again?”. He replied,”Kung pride, marami ako niyan, pero sasairin ko na. Hindi ko kaya pala talaga.” And they lived happily ever after...not. He had to start from nothing because he basically had nothing. I reminded him that while family stories can go really dark, crazy and hazy, it will come through. The dad gave him a really, really tough time. Daig pa HIIT bootcamp in all levels, literally and figuratively. At first, he almost walked out again, but he’s no longer the kid. He realized that there’s something way bigger than his ego pala much to his surprise and the rest of the world.  It was and still is a struggle, but I guess, the best ever part is that just a few months ago, his dad commended him. Proud father daw siya sa anak niya. Nadapa. Natuto. At bumabangon. Lumalaban. For a dad who is too stern to the point that his definition of “gabi na” is the moment the sun is literally out, this is a legit achievement unlocked. 

ARAY NA ‘KO STORY 05 “'Nak, masama ba ako?”, the dad asked out of the blue. “Dad, Netflix and chill day tayo. Ano ‘yan?”, the daughter replied. She can clearly see that his father misses his wife who passed away six years ago. The daughter who loves sarcasm to bits tried to save the ball as she teased him, “Pakasal ka lang ulit. Wala na e. Finish na.” The dad said,”Hindi naman kasi ganun ‘yun.” The kid who is to grow up replied,”Touch move na kasi, dad. We have to move forward otherwise, ano na lang tayo?” The daughter made a beeline to the restroom and breathed heavily. The dad stared into the TV. The end of antoher Big Bang rerun came. 

ARAY NA ‘KO STORY 06 “Wala naman kasi akong pupuntahan after nito. Ang tagal ko na ring nag-invest dito hindi lang ng oras pati ‘yung pagkatao ko,” sabi niya. Hearing this from someone who has made an obvious stride career-wise, beshiekeyks, parang napapatid ‘yung hearstrings ko. I cannot imagine how one job title can actually strip someone off their confidence and worse, their self-concept. Naging alipin na lang sila hindi ng pangarap nila, pero ng kung ano mang na-absorb nilang toxicity sa workspace nila. Having the wrong career choice is much like having a toxic romantic relationship. You can always choose to stay in it, but you find yourself drowning and feeling so dead inside it. You can always say that you have someone, that you belong to something you’ve worked so hard for, but you also know that you’ve been punishing yourself too much. You’re often caught in between thinling if you’re too entitled or that you’re simply being human. 

These kinds of heartaches are the most toxic, I think because truth be told, you waste your time most in going after whatever that you define as a success in your career. Kakaloka these kinds of stories and sharings talaga. Everytime I go to Makati van terminal or BGC bus stop area, I can’t help but see a sea of walking dead people instead of the lifeblood of the economy. Chararat lang talaga e. 

ARAY NA ‘KO STORY 07 “Bakit single ka pa rin?” I asked over a dinner featuring Vietnamese food in Maginhawa. My friend replied, “Magulang ko nga ‘di ako tanggap e, aasa pa ba ako sa iba?”. I was taken aback so I followed up with, “Ha? Alam na nila? Paano? Kelan? Saan?”. Naloka ako, beshiekeyks because the parents are super legit devout of a church-I-would-not-choose-to-name. “Ang hirap-hirap. Hindi ko naman kasi ito ginusto tapos sabi sa akin, bakit hindi ko raw kasi pinigalan. Bakit daw ‘yung iba, kaya namang itama ‘yung pagkatao nila,” he shared as fat tears fell down his puffy cheeks. I joked, “Nakakaiyak ba ‘yung pagka-miss natin sa Hanoi pati sa food trip doon? ‘Di ba legit ‘yung resto na ito, kaya ka ganyan?”. He smiled and said, “Kaya ikaw gusto ko sinasabihan ng ganito, gago ka lang lagi.” I told him that naiiyak kasi ako so I had to skidaddle my way out. He retorted na obvious naman and that he can see my tears which are welling up na in my eye. 

I was fighting back the tears because I felt so bad for him PLUS it also hit me that I am extremely lucky to have friends and family who don’t force me to be straight as hell. While I get the ocassional lines saying that I should be this and not that, they’re pretty much very accepting of who I am which is way, way more than my gender preference. Grabe lang talaga makakita ng mga tao na rejected mismo ng pamilya nila lalo na ‘pag kitang-kita mong mahal na mahal nila ‘yung pamilya nila. 

After a long pause, he told me, “Kaya ako single ng ganito katagal, dahil sa kanila. Ayoko silang ma-disappoint na naman sa akin. I tried naman talgang pigilan. Desenteng tao ako, alam mo ‘yan. I don’t fuck around. Pero ‘yung mga ganitong bagay, ‘di talaga napipigilan e.” 

Shucks. My hypothalamus is off to the heartbreak ER. I need Greys Anatomy level of care because I died inside at that very moment.  

To be continued...

[sowhatisthisfor]

Movies 2018

 List of films I watched in 2018 from best to worst.

Updated soon after I’ve seen them.

A Ghost Story [David Lowery, 2017, United States] No film has made me feel this melancholic ever. This is a film so profound, it examines existence in the simplest yet most esoteric way possible. It surely goes straight to the top of my all-time favourite list. 10/10

Burning (Boening) [Chang-dong Lee, 2018, South Korea] Shows the interrelation of hunger and class, the truths and the unknowns. Of how desires could either free you or cage you in unhappiness and despair. A mystery of misery that parallels its political viewpoint. 10/10

Roma [Alfonso Cuaron, 2018, Mexico] Its technical expertise in every element of every frame and composition is overwhelming. It's a movie about contrasts and how each opposite gives life balance, told with such authenticity, it's luxurious cinematic experience. 10/10

Women of the Weeping River [Dayoc, 2016, Philippines] A film about a generational blood feud, and also a metaphoric portrayal of the unending armed conflicts in Mindanao where the vulnerable is the most at risk, and the strong isn’t really unbreakable. 10/10

Kung Paano Hinihintay Ang Dapithapon [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] a small film that tackles layers after layers of things too close to heart. Sincere and profound, definitely my favourite. 10/10  

Loveless (Nelyubov) [Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2018, Russia] cold and chilling in all aspect from start to end. It has such great observation of the recognizable societal apathy. 10/10

Beats Per Minute (BPM) [Robin Campillo, 2017, France] Goosebumps. This is a film clear of its objective, it is exhilarating and exhausting in the good kind of way. 10/10

Cold War (Zimna Wojna) [Pawel Pawlikowski, 2018, Poland] Makes something despairing so beautiful with its artful composition, rightly-paced narrative transition, and cold but affecting character treatment. 10/10

Faces Places [JR, Agnès Varda, 2018, France] Wow. This is the film to watch when your soul is dying for art. Tears, I can't help them from falling. 10/10

Sid & Aya [Irene Villamor, 2018, Philippines] It’s too beautiful, I’m crying halfway through the film for how beautiful it is. You can watch this film without audio and understand it by its lighting, it’s that amazing. 10/10

Arrhythmia (Aritmiya) [Boris Khlebnikov, 2017, Russia] For a movie with characters of increasingly tenuous emotional bond, this is teeming with sensitivity and sensibility. It has so much love, neutrality, and longing, yet so cold and fleeting. Definitely, an emotional rollercoaster of my liking. 10/10

Shoplifters [Hirokazu Kore-eda, 2018, Japan] a film that questions if blood is thicker than the ties that bind us. Here’s Kore-eda capturing our hearts again with his gently-observed humanism. 10/10

Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] a genius anti-romance that plays along the lines of loving the thought of being in love and making yourself believe in your own ethereality. I love it. 10/10

Balangiga: Howling Wilderness [Khavn, 2017, Philippines] Disheartening and provocative in all its hypnagogia. 10/10

A Star is Born [Bardley Cooper, 2018, United States] If only for its music and its astounding performances, I'm already sold. 10/10

Oda sa Wala [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] Is an ode to nothing, to the unseen, to the nobody, to the dead that's more alive than the living and to the living that's more dead than those who died. Baltazar has this gilt-edged technique that leaves its audience wretched yet buoyant. 10/10

The Shape of Water [Guillermo del Toro, 2017, United States] Elegant in its visuals, storytelling, and performances. It is del Toro’s best yet. 10/10

The Guilty (Den Skyldige) [Gustav Möller, 2018, Denmark] Is clever in its minimalism. A fast-paced action thriller and a psychological suspense, all shot entirely between four walls. 9.5/10

Hereditary [Ari Aster, 2018, United States] Unsettling down to the core with a convincing cast and a powerful storytelling. 9.5/10 

Batch 81 [Mike de Leon, 1982, Philippines] In its subversiveness and its sardonic undertone is a remarkable spectacle of expertise, bravery, esoterica, and dynamism. 9.5/10 

Dogman [Matteo Garrone, 2018, Italy] Examines a man's need to be recognized as a chihuahua in a shepherd's world. 9.5/10

BuyBust [Erik Matti, 2018, Philippines] a spectacular display of astounding filmmaking where every element is designed and choreographed fittingly well. Entertaining yet harrowing from start to finish, it's the kind of film that stays. 9.5/10 

God’s Own Country [Francis Lee, 2017, United Kingdom] Features a kind of romance with such carefully-observed realism. It was very well portrayed. Very well. 9/10

Sunday's Illness (La Enfermedad del Doming) [Ramon Salazar, 2018, Spain] Scene after scene of mesmerizing mystery and such powerful attention to detail. 9/10 

Annihilation [Alex Garland, 2018, United States] Though at times flawed, it ended with such thought-provoking, ambitious, and lasting impact. 9/10 

Captain America: Civil War [Joe Russo, Anthony Russo, 2016, United States] it’s hard to point out which part of the film I didn’t like, that’s if I hated anything. 9/10 

The Florida Project [Sean Baker, 2017, United States] Kids, no matter the social class, are still just kids in search for adventure, friendship, and love. This movie doesn't feel like a movie at all, it's brilliant. 9/10

Signal Rock [Chito Rono, 2018, Philippines] Very raw and phenomenal. Each character formidably plays an important role in characterizing a small town of heartwarming spirit. If not for its distracting bad CGI which I think is unnecessary, I’d give it a perfect 10. 9/10

Beti [P. Sheshadri, 2017, India] manages to oppose patriarchy in Indian culture in such an innocent yet intelligible perspective. 9/10 

Train to Busan [Yeon Sang-ho, 2016, South Korea] When everyone's becoming a monster, humanity is the way to survive. Fast-paced. Thrilling. Heartfelt. I honestly feel like Train to Busan lacks a stronger female character, but it's interestingly very human that I'm completely captured by it. 9/10

ML [Benedict Mique, 2018, Philippines] teeming with ingenuity and masteful filmmaking, it’s a suspense too relevant for anyone to miss. 9/10

Liway [Kip Oebanda, 2018, Philippines] Is at most powerful when it exposes the correlation of facts and fiction. Doesn’t hit you right away but when it does, it hits hard. It hits still. 9/10

Sicilian Ghost Story [Fabio Grassadonia, Antonio Piazza, 2017, Italy, France, Switzerland] Cinematic and poetic. Beautiful in all its mythological symbolism. 9/10

Get Out [Jordan Peele, 2017, United States] a satire of utmost significance, it lives. 9/10

Si Chedeng at Si Apple [Rae Red, Fatrick Tabada, 2017, Philippines] Hilarious with punchlines, intelligent with comebacks. This is comedy with brain, soul, and heart. 9/10 

Happy as Lazzaro (Lazzaro Felice) [Alice Rohrwacher, 2018, Italy] a charming small film with a subtext of such vivid social allegory. 9/10

I am Not a Witch [Rungano Nyoni, 2018, United Kingdom] For a debut film, this is quite a remarkable take on exploitation, abuse, and misogyny. 9/10

A Quiet Place [John Krasinski, 2018, United States] For a film that’s supposed to be silent, I find it quite overscored. Still a good watch though. 9/10

Ang Panahon ng Halimaw [Lav Diaz, 2018, Philippines] Sarcasm at its best. Quite fun. 9/10

L'amant Double [Francois Ozon, 2018, France] Wild and mindblowing, a film of endless curiosity. 9/10

Seklusyon [Erik Matti, 2016, Philippines] a thought-provoking jewel on the corruption of divinity and an examination of people’s inner evils. 9/10

BlackKKansman [Spike Lee, 2018, United States] Although satirically exaggerated, this film is teeming with entertainment and importance. 8.5/10 

In This Corner of the World [Sunao Katabuchi, 2017, Japan] It stays. Films like this, they always do. 8.5/10

Euthanizer (Armomurhaaja} [Teemu Nikki, 2018, Finland] An examination of how suffering is commensurate with cruelty. For something so bleak, it is surprisingly a good exemplification of moral values. 8/10

Padman [R. Balki, 2018, India] Speaks volumes in a humorous way. Something enlightening and empowering, I love it. 8/10

Gutland [Govinda Van Maele, 2017, Luxembourg] For a debut feature, Van Maele is a master of slow-burn tension. 8/10

The Square [Ruben Ostland, 2017, Sweden, Denmark] An ironic and satiric take on elitism, privilege, and humanity. 8/10

A Prayer Before Dawn [Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire, 2018, France, Thailand] For something that feels hesitant in showing violence, this is already quite a tough watch. 8/10

We Need to Talk About Kevin [Lynn Ramsey, 2012, United States]

A Taxi Driver [Hun Jang, 2017, South Korea] an entertaining yet affecting tribute to nameless heroes. 8/10

Memoir of War (La Douleur) [Emmanuel Finkiel, 2017, France] Sadly, its visual choices, experimental scoring, and drawn out structure don't match Marguerite Duras's poetic writing. 8/10

The Wound (Inxeba) [John Trengove, 2017, South Africa] More than the physical wound from a boy's transition to manhood, this movie tackles a deeper kind of pain, the kind that scars forever. 8/10

Pan de Salawal [Che Espiritu, 2018, Philippines] a hard-hitting reminder that the most painful challenges people overcome are also the most rewarding. Don’t be afraid to feel them all. 8/10

The Great Buddha+ [Hsin-yao Huang, 2018, Taiwan] Not sure if saying "this is my kind of humour" is something I should be proud of but damn this film is hilarious! Oh and really clever too. 8/10 

Leave No Trace [Debra Ganik, 2018, United States] a small film of massive authenticity and warm touch. It will leave a trace. 8/10

Manila by Night [Ishmael Bernal, 1980, Philippines] a classic representation of the realities of how Manila is a witness to the city's moral lethargy. 8/10 

Coco [Lee Unkrich, 2017, United States] Understands what La La Land doesn’t – relationships shouldn’t suffer when achieving our dreams. 8/10

Don’t Breathe [Fede Alvarez, 2016, United States] Alvarez has some serious skills to make this suspenseful with only a blind villain inside a small house. 8/10  

The Other Side of the Wind [Orson Welles, 2018, United States] Not for a Welles beginner but is surely a completist's delight. 7.5/10

Felicite [Alain Gomis, 2017, Senegal, Congo, France] With such lyrical tone, its narrative was thinly sketched that some of its elements don't match. 7.5/10

Malila: The Farewell Flower [Anucha Boonyawatana, 2018, Thailand] A beguiling narration of existentialism, redemption, and the philosophy of Buddhism. All told in such calming gaze, it's actually hypnotic. 7.5/10 

Revenge [Coralie Fargeat, 2018, France] Caution: explicit cursing while watching and cheering to this. 7.5/10 

Aria [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] Could have gone deeper and darker to make a more harrowing but lasting impact. It borders on the safe side, but still able to tell something important. 7.5/10

Billie & Emma [Samantha Lee, 2018, Philippines] There's magic in its production design and an amusing chemistry that would remind you of what it's like to fall in love the first time. It is everyone's teenage romance, the kind that buries heteronormativity. 7.5/10

Of Love & Law [Hikaru Toda, 2017, Japan] Questions the intricacies of Japanese culture through a collection of simple yet meaningful moments. 7.5/10 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom [JA Bayona, 2018, United States]

Saving Sally [Avid Liongoren, 2016, Philippines] Is the freshest and has the most creative visual style I’ve seen in a long long time. I want more of it. 7,5/10 

One Week Friends [Masanori Murakami, 2017, Japan]  There’s a good reason for my sunken eyes right now, right? 7.5/10 

Room 8 [James Griffiths, 2013, United States] Unique and smart. Too amazed, I had to share it with everyone. 7.5/10

Isle of Dogs [Wes Anderson, 2018, United States] A quirky imagination of a simple narrative, told in a hyper-stylized artistry. 7.5/10

Black Panther [Ryan Coogler, 2018, United States]

Hintayan ng Langit [Villegas, 2018] I'm not completely sold on a couple of its elements but boy, Gina Pareño is a gem. A sparkling one.  7.5/10  

Avengers: Infinity War [Anthony and Joe Russo, 2018, United States]

The Invitation [Karyn Kusama, 2016, United States] I know a psychological thriller like this is effective when I find myself so uncomfortable, wanting to leave, cautious of being brainwashed. 7.5/10

Ready Player One [Steven Spielberg, 2018, United States] Too amusing to the point of apathy. Still entertaining though. 7.5/10

Disobedience [Sebastian Lelio, 2018, Ireland] Depicts the beauty of internal turmoils and hidden desires, it’s gripping. 7.5/10

Apostasy [Daniel Kokotajlo, 2017, United Kingdom] the more it rolls, the more I loathe religion. 7.5/10 

Wonder Woman [Patty Jenkins, 2017, United States] More than it being a feminist is it being human and that I think is more important. 7.5/10 

Meet Me in St Gallen [Irene Villamor, 2018, Philippines]

Never Not Love You [Antoinette Jadaone, 2018, Philippines] Beautifully and realistically written. It’s just really hard for me to like Reid’s character. 7/10 

Eight Grade [Bo Burnham, 2018, United States] One of the most important and most natural teen movies of the year. 7/10

Cam [Daniel Goldhaber, 2018, United States] Pushing its flaws aside, this is actually quite an accomplished thriller of a possible near future. It didn't end with an impactful resolution though. 7/10

The Miseducation of Cameron Post [Desiree Akhavan, 2018, United States] Provocatively presents how emotionally abusing conversion therapy could be. 7/10

Crazy Rich Asians [Jon Chu, 2018, United States] Important and feel-good, but that's just it for me. 7/10

Distance [Perci Intalan, 2018, Philippines] a tender family drama with powerful performances of characters who choose to love no matter how wrong or right. 7/10 

Showroom [Fernando Molnar, 2014, Argentina] is a showroom of how beautiful and luxurious an artificial world could be. 7/10 

Contagion [Steven Soderbergh, 2011, United States] Believable but somehow lacking in its scare tactic. 7/10 

Zodiac [David Fincher, 2007, United States] Intelligent drama, boring thriller. Not a fan. 7/10

The Greatest Showman [Michael Gracey, 2018, United States]

Smaller and Smaller Circles [Raya Martin, 2017, Philippines] Suspense done right but there's something about its exchanges that seems unnatural. 7/10 

Pop Aye [Kirsten Tan, 2018, Thailand, Singapore] Is as slow but as heavy as its lead. 7/10

The Day After Valentine’s [Jason Paul Laxamana, 2018, Philippines] Brilliant in its canny use of language to illustrate people's tendency to miscommunicate emotions. 7/10 

Thoroughbreds [Cory Finley, 2018, United States] The kind of film that doesn't lead to what you think. It's black comedy of my liking. 7/10

Nearest and Dearest [Kseniya Zueva, 2017, Russia] displays the weakening social and moral values in contemporary Russian society. 6.5/10 

Hearts Beat Loud [Brett Haley, 2018, United States] Magical in its little ways. 6.5/10

Me Casé Con Un Boludo [Juan Taratuto, 2016, Argentina] Nothing much in here but laughter after laughter. 6.5/10

Delinquent [Kieran Valla, 2016, United States] a small-town thriller with a set location that breathes on its own. 6.5/10

Ang Babaeng Allergic sa Wifi [Jun Lana, 2018, Philippines] I thought it was just a cutesy take on appreciating moments and living life in the present, but heck no, prepare to find your tears falling. 6.5/10

Bakwit Boys [Jason Paul Laxamana, 2018, Philippines] a warm and light-hearted family drama with beautiful original songs to brag about. 6.5/10

Musmos Na Sumibol sa Gubat ng Digma [Iar Arondaing, 2018, Philippines] At times, it feels like it's trying too hard both to make a point and to sound subtle to a point that it feels a bit disconnected. 6.5 /10 

What If It Works [Romi Trower, 2018, Australia] Delightfully charming amidst the chaos of mental disorders. Works quite well. 6.5 /10

Eternity Between Seconds [Jan Alec Figuracion, 2018, Philippines] There’s comfort somewhere between the discomforts of bad acting here. 6.5 /10

Love, Simon [Greg Berlanti. 2018, United States] It’s a very familiar coming-of-age romance, but that familiarity is what made it stand out. 6.5 /10

Blockers [Kay Cannon, 2018, United States] Definitely my kind of humour. The sarcastic wit is overflowing. 6.5 /10

Alex Strangelove [CraigJohnson, 2018, United States] Nothing too new but isn't short of likeable. 6.5/10

Lobster Cop [Li Xinyun, 2018, China] Hilarious. I’d like it to be more brutal with its action scenes but it’s already otherwise quite entertaining. 6.5/10

Ant-man and the Wasp [Peyton Reed, 2018, United States] Funny as always, but I'm in love with Paul Rudd so I must be biased. 6.5/10

Kuya Wes [James Mayo, 2018, Philippines] explores the fundamental need of being appreciated in a light yet stinging narrative. I don't like a number of things, but the soundtrack works well, it's satiating. 6.5/10 

To All the Boys I've Loved Before [Susan Johnson, 2018, United States] There's substance in its shallowness, it's charming. 6.5/10

The Snow White Murder Case [Yoshihiro Nakamura, 2014, Japan] It’s a little too long to keep it entirely interesting. 6.5/10

Cardinals [Grayson Moore, Aidan Shipley, 2018, Canada] It was burning slowly until it was shot to the head. Could have been more painful if not for its loose ending. 6.5/10

Unli Life [Miko Livelo, 2018, Philippines] Not a fan of its comedic banters but I find its rare seriousness quite a gem. 6.5/10

The Cured [David Freyne, 2018, United Kingdom]

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance [Park Chan-wook, 2002, South Korea]

Berlin Syndrome [Cate Shortland, 2017, Australia, Germany] Cold and riveting with a third act that would push you to the edge. 6.5/10 

Wonder [Stephen Chbosky, 2018, United States]

12 Strong [Nicolai Fuglsig, 2018, United States] All that technical expertise and still end up saying nothing. 6/10

Goodbye, Grandpa [Yukihiro Morigaki, 2017, Japan] depicts the kind of mourning we tend to overlook and is only intensified by the bonding of family. 6/10 

Deadpool 2 [David Leitch, 2018, United States] Started off fun, ended up exhausting. 6/10

Bird Box [Susanne Bier, 2018, United States] a film with no emotional connection, no proper climax, and therefore no sensical resolution. 6/10

Madilim Ang Gabi [Adolf Alix, 2018, Philippines] seems like a show-off of stars after stars after stars playing bit roles to the point that it already feels unauthentic. 6/10 

Call Her Ganda [PJ Raval, 2018, Canada, Philippines] I'm not convinced of its storytelling, still an important one to watch though. 6/10 

A Million Happy Nows [Albert Alarr, 2017, United States] Despite the smallness of this film, it actually hits big. 6/10 

Bomba [Ralston Jover, 2017, Philippines] is brave in its defiance, bold in its commentary but it somehow failed to deliver. 6/10

Oceans 8 [Gary Ross, 2018, United States] Slow and mediocre, quite a waste of powerhouse cast. 6/10

Koxa [Ekrem Engizek, 2018, Turkey, Germany] Uninteresting for the kind of fact it exposes. 6/10

2 Cool 2 be Forgotten [Petersen Vargas, 2017, Philippines]

Beastmode [Manuel Mesina III, 2018, Philippines] ingenious and inventive but it’s not the kind I enjoy. 6/10 

Dedma Walking [Julius Alfonso, 2017, Philippines]

Can We Still Be Friends [Prime Cruz, 2017, Philippines]

The Belko Experiment [Greg McLean, 2017, United States] The experiment and the film are both pointless, but pointless sometimes is entertaining. 6/10

Hooked [Max Emerson, 2018, United States]

Sierra Burgess is a Loser [Ian Samuels, 2018, United States] I was enjoying it until its last act which felt rushed and unnatural. 5/10

Skyscraper [Rawson Marshall Thurber, 2018, United States] Plot after plot of action-packed impossibilities. 5/10

Glorious [Connie Macatuno, 2018, Philippines] Watching it is like riding a taxi cab with a clutch driver, it’s making me dizzy. 5/10

Rampage [Brad Peyton, 2018, United States] Feels like a bargain with nothing much to offer but cool CGI. 5/10

Je Ne Suis Pas Un Homme Facile [Eleonore Pourriat, 2018, France]  

Mga Mister Ni Rosario [Alpha Habon, 2018, Philippines] Entertaining but also miserably problematic. 5/10

Carrie [Kimberly Peirce, 2014, United States] Is quite an urban myth version of a school shooting. 5/10

Rough Night [Lucia Aniello, 2017, United States] Watched it on a plane, not sure if it's as fun if landed. 5/10

Bomba [Rolston Jover, 2017, Philippines] is brave in its defiance, bold in its commentary but it somehow failed to deliver. 5/10 

Avengers: Age of Ultron [Joss Whedon, 2015, United States] Boring with a capital B. 5/10

The Meg [Jon Turteltaub, 2018, United States] Mediocre. Very mediocre. 5/10

Final Score [Scott Mann, 2018, United States] It has potential but didn't quite scored a goal. 5/10

Uncle Drew [Charles Stone III, 2018, United States] I can't force myself to get comfortable watching this. 5/10

A Piece of Paradise [Patrick Alcedo, 2017, Canada, Philippines] It’s okay but there’s nothing much in there. 5/10

Happy Death Day [Christopher Landon, 2018, United States]

The Flu [Kim Sung-soo, 2013, South Korea] Stupid but fun. It's the kind of silly you enjoy. 5/10

Ali and Nino [Asif Kapadia, 2017, Azerbaijan, Georgia] Badly-acted, badly-designed production. Offers nothing much of excitement. 4/10 

Unexpectedly Yours [Cathy Garcia-Molina, Philippines, 2017] Fun at times. Corny at most. 4/10 

Forget About Nick [Margarethe von Trotta, 2017, Germany] is as if made as an example of movies that failed the Bechdel test from supposed to be feminist directors. 4/10 

I Love You, Hater [Giselle Andres, 2018, Philippines] I find its main plot gender insensitive so it’s a nope nope for me. 4/10

The Mumbai Siege: 4 Days of Terror (One Less God) [Lliam Worthington, 2018, Australia, India] That’s an annoying take on a siege that marked world history. 4/10

Life is What You Make It [Jhett Tolentino, 2018, United States, Philippines] For some reasons, I’m not sold on how it tries to inspire. 4/10 

We Will Not Die Tonight [Richard Somes, 2018, Philippines] If you're looking for brutal action and relentless stabbing where blood and sweat are like fireworks, go see it. If you're looking for sense or better fight choreographies, go somewhere else. 3/10 

Bleeding Steel [Leo Zhang, 2018, Hong Kong] Feels like switching between channels. 3/10

Citizen Jake [Mike de Leon, 2018, Philippines] Is like a collection of everything de Leon wants to try. Not effective at that. 3/10

On Again Off Again [Arsalan Shirazi, 2017, Canada, India] Undesirable characters in undesirable performances. 3/10

Jigsaw [Spirieg brothers, 2017, United States]

Tomb Raider [Roar Uthaug, 2018, United States] Impossible but fun. 3/10

Insidious (The Last Key) [Adam Robitel, 2018, United States] 

Pitch Perfect 3: Last Call Pitches [Trish Sie, 2018, United States] The worst of them all pitches. 3/10

When We First Met [Ari Sandel, 2018, United States]

Attack on Titan: Part 1 [Shinji Higuchi, 2015, Japan] Lacks character development, lacks plot continuity, it’s the movie adaptation disappointment of the decade. 3/10

Alright Now [Jamie Adams, 2018, United States] is said to be a feel-good movie but more like a feel-regretful for the time wasted watching this. 3/10

Hostel [Eli Roth, 2006, United States] Nothing here is pleasing. Not its concept, not its execution, and not even its gore. Down to the trash bin. 3/10

One More Chance [Cathy Garcia-Molina, 2007, Philippines] I’m sorry, I really can’t stand this movie. 3/10

Slumber [Jonathan Hopkins, 2018, United States] Is a snoozefest as simple as that. 3/10

In Un Giorno La Fine (The End?) [Daniele Misischia, 2018, Italy] Is funny in a bad way. 3/10

Peter Rabbit [Will Gluck, 2018, United States] RBF the entire freaking time. 3/10

You, Me and Him [ Daisy Aitkens, 2018, United Kingdom] Just one of those films that pass you by. 3/10

The Dawnseeker [Justin Price, 2018, United States] With that kind of premise, I honestly wanted it to be at least a decent watch. It isn’t. 2/10

Mara [Clive Tonge, 2018, United States] Generic. Mediocre. Forgettable. 2/10

Office Uprising [Lin Oeding, 2018, United States] Dumb. 2/10

School Service [Louie Ignacio, 2018, Phiippines] the intention is there but the concept isn’t concrete enough to be decently executed. 2/10 

The Strangers: Prey at Night [Johannes Roberts, 2018, United States] What a freaking stupid family that was. I could go on and on and on with my disgust towards this movie, but the bacon is cooked and bacon is more important. 1/10

The Matchmaker's Playbook [Tosca Musk, 2018, United States] a misogynist piece of bullcrap. 1/10

The Do-Over [Steven Brill, 2016, United States] Wow. That was boring. 1/10

Aswang [Michael Laurin, 2018, United States] a film perfect for when you can’t sleep. 1/10

The Lookout [Afi Africa, 2018, Philippines] is a joke after joke after joke, so unfunny, it deserves a laugh. 1/10 

[gheethatyoulove]

Gusto Kita with All My Hypothalamus, Dwein Baltazar's Sophomore Film

Of course, Nicco Manalo did not fail his fan in me again - along with his co-stars in Gusto Kita with All My Hypothalamus. No wonder it won the Best Ensemble Award. I like the acting of Anthony Falcon who played the role of a mute snatcher. He was so convincing, my sister even asked if he was still like that behind cameras - haha. But no kidding, he seemed natural, it was not like acting at all, he was that good in this film. But of course, biased as I am, my favorite would still be my dear Nicco. His effort to play his role was so tangible, always tangible like how he was in his any other films. However, when I am watching him as a hopeless romantic lover, he always gets me. It’s a special role I’d like to keep as my personal favorite. My heart moves when he delivers such dialogues of someone so in love as if nothing else matters. The first time I have watched its trailer, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to sleep playing in my mind on repeat his line, “Parang di ko kayang di ka makita, Aileen.” Yes, you see honesty, you hear honesty. An exaggerated burst of feeling with just one line and very minimal gesture. That’s what I feel about his roles like this. As if I wanted to brave diving into deep waters of love too, like he did on his character.

Personal comment on the choice of soundtrack: Sobrang OK! I voluntarily let myself get stuck on an LSS by listening to it repeatedly. Nais ko'y makapiling kang muli, nais ko'y mayakap kahit sa sandali. Kung pangarap ma'y tatanggapin ko, ikaw pa rin ang iniibig ko. You’ll get the idea from there, and you’d agree that the song suits the movie best, no other song may fit better.

By the rolling of credits at the end of the movie, I actually laughed because few seconds before it, my sister warned, “Wag talaga nila tatapusin jan yung movie, wag muna.” and true enough, it ended there. But yea, we were blankly staring at the screen for about a minute, asking no one in particular: Ano nangyari? Ano yun? The last scenes seemed the hype of the whole film. Although, I’m not saying bitin yung movie. Bitin is like leaving you hanging without any idea at all what could be the meaning of each sequence that you’ve watched, as if you found no conclusion at all. This one is not like that. You would ask yourself, anong nangyari? But only because you are concerned with the what could be’s. The film is intended to end there, still lingering, still fantasized long after.

Love that introduced itself in different names, different faces, different dwellings. It’s a wonder depicted on the whole movie how different people can have different intentions towards one same person, but all of it were labeled as love.

I’m proud of this film, being applauded after the very last scene. I’m proud that we didn’t even had much options on the seats because when we bought the tickets, only the front seats were available. It was even a good thing, we still had available seats. The cinema was full, and I bet it was worth it.

[sowhatisthisfor]

All-time favourite films

Favourite movies (rated 7-10 with 10 as the highest) watched from 2016 to present.

Updated soon after watching.

A Ghost Story [David Lowery, 2017, United States] No film has made me feel this melancholic ever. This is a film so profound, it examines existence in the simplest yet most esoteric way possible. It surely goes straight to the top of my all-time favourite list. 10/10

A Separation [Asghar Farhadi, Iran, 2011] No other film has played w/ my emotions better than this one."Emotional rollercoaster" has never been truer. 10/10

Portrait of a Lady on Fire [Celine Sciamma, 2019, France] a film of magnificent visuals, intoxicating sound design, and a screenplay of jawdropping surprises – definitely on top of my 2019 movie list. 10/10

The Lobster [Lanthimos, 2015] a peculiar take on the world’s social construction of reality. Far-out yet accurate, it’s captivating. 10/10

The Handmaiden [Park, 2016] Lavish, sensual, beyond clever. Having watched and read Fingersmith won’t make this gem a tad predictable. 10/10

The Heiresses [Marcelo Martinessi, 2019, Paraguay] compellingly melancholic in its silence and uncertainty. It’s a blossoming, a self-discovery, a thorny journey towards maturity. 10/10

Parasite [Bong Joon-ho, 2019, South Korea] You can watch it in many different ways, perspective, and angle, and everything is just as clever. 10/10

Thy Womb [Brillante Mendoza, 2013, Philippines] is so painful, it doesn't shoot you straight in the head, it tortures you.. that even after watching it, your heart's still crying.

The Duke of Burgundy [Strickland, 2015, United Kingdom]  Remarkable. A film so beautiful, it’s so hard to forget. I love this too much, it’s almost haunting. 10/10 

Burning (Boening) [Chang-dong Lee, 2018, South Korea] Shows the interrelation of hunger and class, the truths and the unknowns. Of how desires could either free you or cage you in unhappiness and despair. A mystery of misery that parallels its political viewpoint. 10/10

Carol [Haynes, 2015, United States]  a tough film w/ first-rate performances by both Blanchett & Mara that utterly make up for its minor dull moments. 10/10

Roma [Alfonso Cuaron, 2018, Mexico] Its technical expertise in every element of every frame and composition is overwhelming. It's a movie about contrasts and how each opposite gives life balance, told with such authenticity, it's luxurious cinematic experience. 10/10

Sana Dati [Jerrold Tarog, 2013, Philippines] a lost girl, a prince charming, an imperfect wedding, and an open-ended love story. I need a sequel. 8/10

Women of the Weeping River [Dayoc, 2016] This film literally left me speechless. Another Sheron Dayoc masterpiece. 10/10

Kanarie [Christiaan Olwagen, 2018, South Africa] Has one of the most poignant and critically-observed approach to self-awareness and acceptance. 10/10

The Salesman [Farhadi, 2016] Farhadi always has his way of shaking your soul, giving his audience a silent yet thrilling ride. 10/10

Shéhérazade [Jean-Bernard Marlin, 2018, France] a gritty narrative of an unusual young love with such depressing yet charming emotional pull. 10/10

Capernaum [Nadine Labaki, 2018, Lebanon] it’s not just about a boy in an unjust world, it is more about an implausibly unjust world where everyone is a victim and no one is an actual villain. 10/10

John Denver Trending [Arden Rod Condez, 2019, Philippines] Aside from its central theme of mental health awareness, it also has an excellent juxtaposition of the culture of bullying and cyberbullying and its correlation with how the nature of superstitions and religions shapes a country’s humanity. 10/10

Lady Bird [Greta Gerwig, 2017, United States] Small scale with great impact. It’s the type that doesn’t want to make you cry but makes you cry anyway. I love it with all my heart. 10/10

Call Me By Your Name [Luca Guadagnino, 2017, Italy, Brazil, France, United States] Its authenticity is incredibly palpable, I can taste it in my mouth. Something made with much love, my heart aches. Timothée Chalamet is remarkable. That last frame is unforgettable. 10/10 

Bliss [Jerrold Tarog, 2017, Philippines] Touches the fine line between dreamland and reality, and examines dreams or aspirations as mere illusions. It is wicked. It’s well-crafted. It’s a mindfuck. It’s deeply, as in deeply affecting 10/10

Kung Paano Hinihintay Ang Dapithapon [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] a small film that tackles layers after layers of things too close to heart. Sincere and profound, definitely my favourite. 10/10  

Loveless (Nelyubov) [Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2018, Russia] cold and chilling in all aspect from start to end. It has such great observation of the recognizable societal apathy. 10/10

Your Name [Makoto Shinkai, 2016, Japan] Star-crossed love at its smartest, warmest, and vividly-made anime. Something highly satisfying, I have no words. 10/10

The Third Wife [Ash Mayfair, 2019, Vietnam] possibly has one of the best visual stories this year with a contrast of hauntingly sensual tension and dreamlike composition, it’s strangely beautiful. 10/10

Magkakabaung [Laxamana, 2014, Philippines] A highly-compelling depiction of reality, misfortune, defiance and justice. A film I need to see over & over. 10/10 

Atlantique [Mati Diop, 2019, Senegal] Such a bewitching tale of love, lost, and longing. A film told with such raw elegance, it’s enchanting. 10/10

Beats Per Minute (BPM) [Robin Campillo, 2017, France] Goosebumps. This is a film clear of its objective, it is exhilarating and exhausting in the good kind of way. 10/10

Cold War (Zimna Wojna) [Pawel Pawlikowski, 2018, Poland] Makes something despairing so beautiful with its artful composition, rightly-paced narrative transition, and cold but affecting character treatment. 10/10

Metamorphosis [JE Tiglao, 2019, Philippines] Not your ordinary coming-of-age movie. This one comes with such importance and inclusivity, everyone needs to see. 10/10

Faces Places [JR, Agnès Varda, 2018, France] Wow. This is the film to watch when your soul is dying for art. Tears, I can’t help them from falling. 10/10

Sid & Aya [Irene Villamor, 2018, Philippines] It’s too beautiful, I’m crying halfway through the film for how beautiful it is. You can watch this film without audio and understand it by its lighting, it’s that amazing. 10/10

Violator [Dayao, 2014, Philippines]  The horror film that brought me to tears. I found myself shaking, fighting my own demons, and it’s damn scary. 10/10

The Favourite [Yorgos Lanthimos, 2019, Greece, Ireland, United Kingdom, United States] a dark period comedy oddly fused with sophisticated costume and production design for a strange yet striking visual treat. 10/10

Edward [Thop Nazareno, 2019, Philippines] I am so amazed at how this film shows struggles after struggles after struggles without spoonfeeding emotions. It’s a movie so simple yet so despairing. Everything of it is in the right place, it’s sublime. 10/10

Arrival [Denis Villanueve, 2016, United States] An admirable sci-fi thriller where aliens teach humans about humanity. 10/10 

Salvage [Sherad Sanchez, 2017, Philippines] A film that’s meant to look like a found footage, with one single camera perspective. It used unconventional, long continuous odd angles and silence that made it feel so raw and real, it’s haunting. 10/10

I Lost My Body [Jeremy Clapin, 2019, France] gives an absolute strange reason to cry, it’s extraordinarily cathartic. 10/10

Imbisibol [Fajardo, 2015, Philippines]  I don’t care how beautiful this film already is, I still need to see its greatness in black and white. 10/10

Night of Silence [Celik, 2012, Turkey]  Amazing how something so distasteful was told in such charming and spectacular execution. 10/10

Marriage Story [Noah Baumbach, 2019, United States] My favourite performance of the year belong to these two leads whose portrayal of lovers going through divorce is rock solid heartbreaking. 10/10

Moonlight [Barry Jenkins, 2017, United States] A rare impressionistic film on a man’s struggle to finding himself, something so rich in poetry and visual excellence, it’s spell-binding. 10/10

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri [Martin McDonagh, 2017, United States] Too much hate and too much heart both at the same time. It is as shocking as it is enchanting. 10/10

About Elly [Asghar Farhadi, 2009, Iran] Its narration of a mystery is already engaging but its inner observation of truth and convictions is even more captivating. 10/10

Respeto [Treb Montreras II, 2017, Philippines] Uses the power of words to compare past and present. Shows the cycle of oppression in a well-crafted film of bewitching artistry. 10/10

Ulan [Irene Villamor, 2019, Philippines] Is a fuck you to societal norms, so profound, it is a love story that involves only one. 10/10

Ang Babaeng Humayo [Diaz, 2016] vividly questions justice, higher power, morality, and existence. It’s beyond brilliant, it aches. 10/10

Swiss Army Man {Scheinert, Kwan, 2016] Clever in all its weirdness. What an unforgettable experience. 10/10

Toni Erdmann [Ade, 2016] I don’t know if I should laugh or cry or both at the same time. No doubt a knockout. 10/10

Ang Manananggal sa Unit 23B [Cruz, 2016] If I can only use “beautiful” once a year to describe a film, I’ll use it on this one. 10/10

Arrhythmia (Aritmiya) [Boris Khlebnikov, 2017, Russia] For a movie with characters of increasingly tenuous emotional bond, this is teeming with sensitivity and sensibility. It has so much love, neutrality, and longing, yet so cold and fleeting. Definitely, an emotional rollercoaster of my liking. 10/10

Shoplifters [Hirokazu Kore-eda, 2018, Japan] a film that questions if blood is thicker than the ties that bind us. Here’s Kore-eda capturing our hearts again with his gently-observed humanism. 10/10

Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] a genius anti-romance that plays along the lines of loving the thought of being in love and making yourself believe in your own ethereality. I love it. 10/10

Embers [Carré, 2015] A stylistic post-apocalyptic narrative of survival of people who have lost their meanings. 10/10 

Respire [Laurent, 2015] With its overall well-observed direction, it’s compelling both visually and story-wise. 10/10

Avengers: Endgame [Russo brothers, 2019, United States] Raises the bar so high, is probably the most entertaining superhero movie to date. 10/10

Ari: My Life With a King [Catu, 2015, Philippines] So strong, it sinks too deep into my soul. 10/10

Honor Thy Father [Matti, 2015, Philippines]  Erik Matti made a competently crafted character in Edgar to complete a competently crafted masterpiece. 10/10

The Wife [Bjorn Runge, 2018, Belgium] Glenn Close is mesmerizing. There is no need to say more. 10/10

Anino sa Likod ng Buwan [Lana, 2015] Gripping, tender, sensual. Majestic in one long take. Saying I’m blown away is an understatement. 10/10

Balangiga: Howling Wilderness [Khavn, 2017, Philippines] Disheartening and provocative in all its hypnagogia. 10/10 

A Star is Born [Bardley Cooper, 2018, United States] If only for its music and its astounding performances, I’m already sold. 10/10

Oda sa Wala [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] Is an ode to nothing, to the unseen, to the nobody, to the dead that’s more alive than the living and to the living that’s more dead than those who died. Baltazar has this gilt-edged technique that leaves its audience wretched yet buoyant. 10/10

Sunday Beauty Queen [Villarama, 2016] Highly compelling, charming, and important. Sweetest of the festival. 10/10

The Shape of Water [Guillermo del Toro, 2017, United States] Elegant in its visuals, storytelling, and performances. It is del Toro’s best yet. 10/10

BuyBust [Erik Matti, 2018, Philippines] a spectacular display of astounding filmmaking where every element is designed and choreographed fittingly well. Entertaining yet harrowing from start to finish, it’s the kind of film that stays. 10/10  

Frantz [Ozon, 2016] a melancholic take on people’s journeys to finding a reason to live. Beautiful use of color and B&W. 10/10

Captain America: Civil War [Russo, 2016] it’s hard to point out which part of the film I didn’t like, that’s if I hated anything. 10/10

Sing Street [Carney, 2016] No. There’s not a word in the world that could describe how much I love this film. Everything about it. 10/10

Pamilya Ordinaryo [Roy, 2016] Very raw, real and persuasive. Powerful in its entirety. 10/10

Hele sa Hiwagang Hapis [Diaz, 2016] Reality told through a mix of history & fantasy. A delicate & engaging quest for Filipino freedom. 10/10

Mustang [Ergüven, 2015] Brutal in its authenticity. Something I want to hate but can’t. I’m happy to have seen this film. I really am. 10/10

Still Alice [Westmoreland, 2015, United States]  It’s a highly moving film that doesn’t just make you cry, it makes you understand and feel, and it’s insanely good at it. 10/10  

Room [Abrahamson, 2015, United States] Astounding direction and performances make this film alive. And it should be for a hundred years or more. 10/10 

EDSA [Yapan, 2016] Is a number of things. It’s socially relevant, a moral challenge, a visual feast. Most simply one of the bests. 10/10

Son of Saul [Nemes, 2015] This film has a breathtaking power no one can doubt. 10/10

Embrace of the Serpent [Guerra, 2015] I got lost somewhere its visual hypnotism, but it’s great overall. 10/10

Winter Sleep [Ceyland, 2014, Turkey] Written too intellectually, I want to quote the entire film. And that’s just about 15% of its greatness. 10/10

Apprentice [Junfeng, 16] Draws the line between showing compassion & battling own conscience. Gripping, I feel hands around my throat. 10/10 Kubo and the Two Strings [Knight, 2016] has a heartfelt storytelling of the melancholic nature of humanity. 10/10 

Go Ji Jeon [Hun, 2011] Where wars for personal survivals, moralities, past horrors, and false hopes are far worse than combat battles. 10/10

Guernica [Serra, 2016] a little too overscored, but really great overall. 10/10

Crescent Rising [Dayoc 2015, Philippines] Captured clearly the struggles of people in search of justice, peace, hope & happiness in the midst of war. A film that is so hard to watch, there are times when I need to breathe through my mouth. 10/10

The Kids [Yu, 2015] an engaging portrait of a struggling young couple’s journey to parenthood told convincingly well. 10/10

El Misterio de la Felicidad [Burman, 2014] An easy and charming watch with an ending that could be one of my favourites. 10/10

The Survivalist [Fingleton, 2015] A long-lived representation of how people choose to risk their survival for fidelity and solicitude. 10/10

Ang Araw Bago ang Wakas [Diaz, 2016] Genius. An apocalyptic tale told through poetry against the backdrop of a growing disaster. 10/10

Grandma [Weitz, 2015] I love the story, I love how it unfolds, and I love how it will live in me for sure. 10/10

The Wailing [Na, 2016] An exhausting watch with an even more incredibly vexing inner context. 10/10

Oro [Yapan, 2016] Shows oppression and lopsidedness in equally lopsided frames. Amazing set of cast. 10/10

The Little Prince [Osborne, 2015, France]  Nothing like how I imagined it to be but I love it for everything it is. 10/10

Mad Max: Fury Road [Miller, 2015, United States]  That’s two hours of absolute vicious entertainment and visual marvel. 10/10

An Kubo sa Kawayanan [Yapan, 2015, Philippines] Stunning cinema. The film has its soothing silence that makes you appreciate the littlest things. 10/10 

The Martian [Scott, 2015, United States] Oddly funny in a satisfying form in the midst of struggle and desolation. 10/10

Thelma [Joaquim Trier, 2017, Norway]Meticulously-crafted film that questions fundamentalism as a basis for joy and purity. I yearn for films as poetic as this. 9.5/10

On Body and Soul [Ildikó Enyedi, 2017, Hungary] Too cold yet too heartfelt in all its complexity. 9.5/10

Hereditary [Ari Aster, 2018, United States] Unsettling down to the core with a convincing cast and a powerful storytelling. 9.5/10 

Incendies [Dennis Villanueve, 2011, Canada] With such expert direction, it’s elementally strong in more aspect than one. 9.5/10

Us [Jordan Peele, 2019, United States] It is as if every element in this film is smartly placed there to serve a deeper purpose, it’s a movie in search of greater meaning. 9.5/10

Manchester by the Sea [Kenneth Lonergan, 2016, United States] a quiet yet profound drama narrated too effectively resulting to a mournful yet beautiful symphony. A film that brings the kind of sadness that is both painful and alluring. 9.5/10

La La Land [Damien Chazelle, 2016, United States] Is really technically excellent, but is also really disconnected. Kind of something you adore rather than love. 9.5/10

Bad Genius [Nattawut Poonpiriya, 2017, Thailand] Brimming with excellent editing and direction, it is a thriller and an ingenius commentary on how social class inequalities lead to inevitable corruption. Brilliant. 9.5/10

Les Innocentes [Anne Fontaine, 2016, France] a battle between religious order and moral conscience, one whose importance cannot be omitted. 9.5/10

L’enfant [Luc Dardenne, Pierre Dardenne, 2005, France] It offers the kind of suspense that attacks your soul rather than just your senses. 9.5/10

First Girl I Loved [Kerem Sanga, 2016, United States] a tender coming-of-age drama that tackles discovering self-identity and the fear that comes with that realization. So raw, it’s thrilling. 9.5/10

Birdshot [Mikhail Red, 2017, Philippines] Beautifully shot, it swims along two storylines at par – both in search for impunity in a corrupted society. Too relevant. 9.5/10

Heneral Luna [Tarrog, 2015, Philippines]  Jerrold Tarog is as brave as General Luna. He clearly is the Luna of film making. 9.5/10

The Guilty (Den Skyldige) [Gustav Möller, 2018, Denmark] Is clever in its minimalism. A fast-paced action thriller and a psychological suspense, all shot entirely between four walls. 9.5/10

Batch 81 [Mike de Leon, 1982, Philippines] In its subversiveness and its sardonic undertone is a remarkable spectacle of expertise, bravery, esoterica, and dynamism. 9.5/10 

Dogman [Matteo Garrone, 2018, Italy] Examines a man’s need to be recognized as a chihuahua in a shepherd’s world. 9.5/10

Grave of the Fireflies [Isao Takahata, 1988, Japan] Save your fragile heart, this isn’t for the emotionally weak. 9.5/10

Timbuktu [Sissako, 2014, French, Mauritius] It haunts me more how this film can tell such horror beautifully, I am both mad and pitiful at once. 9.5/10

Copenhagen [Rasso, 2014, Denmark]  A very unusual romantic drama made guilelessly, the characters will live for years. I’m so in love with it. 9/10

God’s Own Country [Francis Lee, 2017, United Kingdom] Features a kind of romance with such carefully-observed realism. It was very well portrayed. Very well. 9/10

Apocalypse Child [Cornejo, 2015, Philippines]  I don’t know where it’s going & that’s what makes it great. Has the best cast ensemble I’ve seen this year. 9/10

Sleepless [Cruz, 2015, Philippines]  In which love is sincerely felt in the absence of romance. 9/10

Sunday’s Illness (La Enfermedad del Doming) [Ramon Salazar, 2018, Spain] Scene after scene of mesmerizing mystery and such powerful attention to detail. 9/10

Annihilation [Alex Garland, 2018, United States] Though at times flawed, it ended with such thought-provoking, ambitious, and lasting impact. 9/10 

Miss Bulalacao [Chawdhury, 2015, Philippines] A small-town film with a big message the whole world needs to know. 9/10

The Tale of Princess Kaguya [Takahata, 2014, Japan] Wow. How can something so cute and sweet break my heart into tiny little pieces? 9/10

The Ferry [Wei, 2013, China] Apart from its masterful visual beauty, the real treasure of this film is the beauty of its heart. 9/10

Saving Sally [Liongoren, 2016] Is the freshest and has the most creative style I’ve seen this year. 9/10

Sakaling Hindi Makarating [Idanan, 2016] In w/c you try to find yourself in far-flung places, & in doing so found someone equally lost. 9/10

Amelie [Jeunet, 2001] Uniquely crafted tour de force. So distinct, it won’t be forgotten. 9/10

One Week Friends [Masanori Murakami, 2017, Japan] There’s a good reason for my sunken eyes right now, right? 9/10

Vertigo [Alfred Hitchcock, 1958, 2012 restoration, United States] Where obsession leads to objectification of love and desire. 9/10

Captain America: Civil War [Joe Russo, Anthony Russo, 2016, United States] it’s hard to point out which part of the film I didn’t like, that’s if I hated anything. 9/10 

The Florida Project [Sean Baker, 2017, United States] Kids, no matter the social class, are still just kids in search for adventure, friendship, and love. This movie doesn’t feel like a movie at all, it’s brilliant. 9/10

Goodnight Mommy [Franz, Fiala, 2015] As cold and effective as it wants to be. 9/10  

 The White Helmets [Orlando Von Eisiedel, 2016, United Kingdom, Syria] A heartrending glimpse at the life of true heroes in violence-stricken Syria. 9/10

Inside Out [Docter, 2015, United States] One of the bravest films to ever illustrate the dysfunctions (and functions) of people’s emotions. 9/10

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens [Abrams, 2015, United States] Works best without the tweetums. Mostly worked therefore. It is the most complicated, action-packed, gender sensitive, and racially-diverse of the franchise. It also is my favourite. 9/10

PK [Rajkumar Hirani, 2014, India] a courageous film that wittingly pokes fun of religious beliefs. 9/10

Mamu and a Mother Too [Rod Singh, 2018, Philippines] Why it scared me, I don’t know. It could be because it’s unpredictable, it’s non-cliche, and it’s gentle in ways you don’t expect. I love it. 9/10

The Good Dinosaur [Sohn, 2015, United States] Not much story to offer, but heartfelt in its nothingness. Stunning visuals. Really stunning visuals. 9/10

Signal Rock [Chito Rono, 2018, Philippines] Very raw and phenomenal. Each character formidably plays an important role in characterizing a small town of heartwarming spirit. If not for its distracting bad CGI which I think is unnecessary, I’d give it a perfect 10. 9/10

Manang Biring [Papa, 2015, Philippines] One of those films that perfectly hit home. 9/10

Mercury is Mine [Laxamana, 2016] Quite a reflection of colonial mentality and the acute patronage of the superficial. 9/10

Beti [P. Sheshadri, 2017, India] manages to oppose patriarchy in Indian culture in such an innocent yet intelligible perspective. 9/10

Train to Busan [Yeon Sang-ho, 2016, South Korea] When everyone’s becoming a monster, humanity is the way to survive. Fast-paced. Thrilling. Heartfelt. I honestly feel like Train to Busan lacks a stronger female character, but it’s interestingly very human that I’m completely captured by it. 9/10 

Paris is Burning [Jennie Livingston, 1991, United States] is a little documentary that stays. 9/10

Paglisan [Carl Papa, 2018, Philippines] Heartbreaking. It is a test of sympathy. 9/10

ML [Benedict Mique, 2018, Philippines]teeming with ingenuity and masteful filmmaking, it’s a suspense too relevant for anyone to miss. 9/10

Liway [Kip Oebanda, 2018, Philippines] Is at most powerful when it exposes the correlation of facts and fiction. Doesn’t hit you right away but when it does, it hits hard. It hits still. 9/10

Sicilian Ghost Story [Fabio Grassadonia, Antonio Piazza, 2017, Italy, France, Switzerland] Cinematic and poetic. Beautiful in all its mythological symbolism. 9/10

Get Out [Jordan Peele, 2017, United States] a satire of utmost significance, it lives. 9/10

Si Chedeng at Si Apple [Rae Red, Fatrick Tabada, 2017, Philippines] Hilarious with punchlines, intelligent with comebacks. This is comedy with brain, soul, and heart. 9/10 Happy as Lazzaro (Lazzaro Felice) [Alice Rohrwacher, 2018, Italy] a charming small film with a subtext of such vivid social allegory. 9/10

I am Not a Witch [Rungano Nyoni, 2018, United Kingdom] For a debut film, this is quite a remarkable take on exploitation, abuse, and misogyny. 9/10

A Quiet Place [John Krasinski, 2018, United States] For a film that’s supposed to be silent, I find it quite overscored. Still a good watch though. 9/10

Ang Panahon ng Halimaw [Lav Diaz, 2018, Philippines] Sarcasm at its best. Quite fun. 9/10

L'amant Double [Francois Ozon, 2018, France] Wild and mindblowing, a film of endless curiosity. 9/10

Widows [Steve McQueen, 2018, United States] How can something so traditionally formal feel so modern at the same time? Steve McQueen knows. 9/10

Eerie [Mikhail Red, 2018, Philippines] More than its excellent scare tactics, what I love about it most is its clever storytelling and use of metaphors. 9/10

Veloce Come Il Vento [Rovere, 2016] Funny, gripping, touching. I enjoyed every single moment of it. 9/10

Sarong Banggi [Dela Cruz, 2005] i’m not too keen on the plot twist but the emotional connection’s too strong, I’m easily in love w/ it. 9/10

I Love You, Thank You [Gohetia, 2015, Philippines] That was quite a torture, I left the theater too broken. 9/10

La Luciernaga (The Firefly) [Ana Maria Hermida, 2015, Colombia] is about finding love in grief, beauty in ugly. And though there are some directorial decisions I don’t necessarily agree with, the chemistry its leads bring onscreen is too tangible for me to care about its flaws. 9/10

Green Room [Saulnier, 2016] a lot of fun, tension, blood, and cinematic excellence. My type of film, really. 9/10

I’ll See You In My Dreams [Haley, 2015] So true about the death I know and the death I don’t know. So true about everything actually. 9/10

Tuos [Cabrido, 2016] Visually alluring with winning performances, it’s almost hypnotic. 9/10Cain at Abel [Brocka, 1982] Sleekly written, directed, and acted. Considerably flawless. 9/10

Seklusyon [Erik Matti, 2016, Philippines] a thought-provoking jewel on the corruption of divinity and an examination of people’s inner evils. 9/10  

First Reformed [Paul Schrader, 2019, United States] an astounding character study that questions the politics of religion. 9/10

The Conjuring 2 [Wan, 2016] I guess I just can’t really be scared of something this good. No dull moment. So human. Much love for this. 9/10

Fuccbois [Eduardo Roy Jr, 2019, Philippines] Amazing storytelling and editing of a narrative so strange yet so eclectic. 8.5/10

BlackKKansman [Spike Lee, 2018, United States] Although satirically exaggerated, this film is teeming with entertainment and importance. 8.5/10 

In This Corner of the World [Sunao Katabuchi, 2017, Japan] It stays. Films like this, they always do. 8.5/10

The End of the Tour [Ponsoldt, 2015, United States] Give me a minute, I need to rethink my life. 8.5/10

Margarita with a Straw [Nilesh Maniyar, Shonali Bose, India, 2016] An unusual take on sexual exploration and self discovery. It somehow lost its focus towards the end but still a delightful watch overall. 8.5/10

Berlin Calling [Hannes Stohr, 2008, Germany] a movie that lives in the present paced in such rhythmic beat, it is dazzling from start to end. 8.5/10

Kuwaresma [Erik Matti, 2019, Philippines] Is a multilayer of social commentaries which were good before they too contradict themselves. 8.5/10

Two Days, One Night [Dardenne, 2014, Belgium, France, Italy] I’m crying half of the time because its emotional dilemma has to be seen in the eyes of depression. 8/10

Battle of the Sexes [Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris, 2017, United States] Makes me feel bad for not being alive yet when it happened. Ace. 8/10

Euthanizer (Armomurhaaja} [Teemu Nikki, 2018, Finland] An examination of how suffering is commensurate with cruelty. For something so bleak, it is surprisingly a good exemplification of moral values. 8/10

Sicario [Villanueve, 2015, United States] One of the best and intensely-directed crime films I’ve seen that doesn’t need much action to thrill. 8/10

Don’t Breathe [Alvarez, 2016] Alvarez has some serious skills to make this suspenseful with only a blind villain inside a small house. 8/10  

Elle [Verhoeven, 2016] has one of the most intriguing antihero characters played perfectly well by Huppert. 8/10

Water Lemon [Lorca, 2015, Philippines] In w/c the struggle of finding strange connection (w/ people, emotions, wavelength, nature) is incredibly real. 8/10

Theeb [Nowar, 2015] For a newcomer, Nowar is a delightful surprise and so is Eid who did perfect in this film. 8/10

Brother of the Year [Witthaya Thongyooyong, 2018, Thailand] For all its simplicity and bleak storyline, it still offers an abundance of emotion and a sense of realism. 8/10

Padman [R. Balki, 2018, India] Speaks volumes in a humorous way. Something enlightening and empowering, I love it. 8/10

Gutland [Govinda Van Maele, 2017, Luxembourg] For a debut feature, Van Maele is a master of slow-burn tension. 8/10

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga [Shelly Dhar, 2019, India] Not a first in world cinema, but is still a groundbreaking moviemaking in the context of India. 8/10

Lorna [Bernardo, 2015, Philippines] Feels so legitimate, it’s entertaining from start to end. 8/10

The Killing of a Sacred Deer [Yorgos Lanthimos, 2017 Greece, UK , US] Yet another solid psychological thriller by the master of contemporary enigma. 8/10

If Cats Disappeared From the World [Akira Nagai, 2016, Japan] a tearjerker drama that examines the essence of living as opposed to just merely existing. 8/10

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga [Shelly Dhar, 2019, India] Not a first in world cinema, but is still a groundbreaking moviemaking in the context of India. 8/10

Coco [Lee Unkrich, 2017, United States]Understands what La La Land doesn’t – relationships shouldn’t suffer when achieving our dreams. 8/10

Medianeras [Taretto, 2011] a lot wordy. But it’s the kind of wordy I’d love to listen to over and over again. 8/10

Paterson [Jim Jarmusch, 2016, United States] Poetic is an understatement. 8/10

Changing Partners [Dan Villegas, 2017, Philippines] uses strong dialogues and character play that makes it rare and magical. 8/10

A Prayer Before Dawn [Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire, 2018, France, Thailand] For something that feels hesitant in showing violence, this is already quite a tough watch. 8/10

We Need to Talk About Kevin [Lynn Ramsey, 2012, United States]

Purgatoryo [Cabrido, 2016] Reminds me a lot of ‘Oros’ only with some serious technique and distinct visual style. 8/10

A Taxi Driver [Hun Jang, 2017, South Korea] an entertaining yet affecting tribute to nameless heroes. 8/10

Ex Machina [Garland, 2015, United Kingdom, United States] A gripping labyrinth shown with such sleek visuals. 8/10

Krigen [Tobias Lindholm, 2016, Denmark] Feels a little rushed in the end, but affecting overall. 8/10

Chemi Bednieri Ojakhi (My Happy Family) [Nana Ekvtimishvili, Georgia, 2017] Paints quite vividly a life of a woman in a patriarchal society. Remarkable. 8/10

Little White Lies [Guillaume Canet, 2010, France] I love these characters too much to the point of wanting them to be real. 8/10

Beach Rats [Eliza Hittman, 2017, United States] Overall, a substantial commentary on the stigma of homosexuality and its effect on why people choose to hide. 8/10 

The Artist [Hazanavicius, 2011] Very artistically and playfully crafted. 8/10 

Bridge of Spies [Spielberg, 2015, United States] A blend of intimate and gripping accounts of a political thriller with excellent performances and direction. 8/10

Paki [Giancarlo Abrahan, 2017, Philippines] an illustration of how even the most prosaic narrative could be weighty through the power of storytelling and good direction. 8/10

Memoir of War (La Douleur) [Emmanuel Finkiel, 2017, France] Sadly, its visual choices, experimental scoring, and drawn out structure don’t match Marguerite Duras’s poetic writing. 8/10

The Wound (Inxeba) [John Trengove, 2017, South Africa] More than the physical wound from a boy's transition to manhood, this movie tackles a deeper kind of pain, the kind that scars forever. 8/10

A Gift [Jira Maligool, 2017, Thailand] One of those films that could effortlessly make you laugh and cry. Charming. Very very charming – definitely a favourite. 8/10

Pan de Salawal [Che Espiritu, 2018, Philippines] a hard-hitting reminder that the most painful challenges people overcome are also the most rewarding. Don’t be afraid to feel them all. 8/10

The Girl in the Book [Cohn, 2015, Untied States] It’s uncomfortable to watch two people w/o resemblance play the same character. Otherwise it’s great. 8/10

Heaven Knows What [Safdie, 2015, Germany] Raw and natural. This film is so truthful and alive, it breathes on its own. 8/10

Ang Kwento Nating Dalawa [Abrogena, 2015, Philippines] Silence, long takes, parallelism. This film knows how to show separation in its most artistic form. 8/10

Brooklyn [Crowley, 2015, United Kingdom, Canada, Ireland] Honestly told, naturally acted, distinctly beautiful. 8/10

Personal Shopper [Olivier Assayas, 2017, France] A subtle but dreary take on grief. Slow but rewarding in the end. 8/10

Moglie e Morito [Simone Godano, 2017, Italy]Could be the funniest film I have watched this year. 8/10

Love You to the Stars and Back [Antoinette Jadaone, 2017, Philippines] Kind of wants to make you believe in destiny, kind of succeeds in that sense. A tender take on teenage love and loss, so pure, it’s precious. 8/10

Above the Clouds [Diokno, 2014, Philippines] Feels a bit preachy to me but at the same time subtle in advocating against environmental destruction. 8/10

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation [McQuarrie, 2015, United States] I love the action, yes. But I love Rebecca Ferguson a million times more. 8/10

The Great Buddha+ [Hsin-yao Huang, 2018, Taiwan] Not sure if saying “this is my kind of humour” is something I should be proud of but damn this film is hilarious! Oh and really clever too. 8/10

Hacksaw Ridge [Mel Gibson, 2016, United States] Is one of those war films that stand out. 8/10

Hidden Figures [Ted Melfi, 2017, United States] For those questioning the existence of women figures in history, here’s a good start for you. 8/10

D'Ardennen [Robin Pront, 2016, Belgium] Just about the right amount of violence and grim unpredictability paced quite effectively. 8/10

Mother! [Darren Aronofsky, 2017, United States] It wore me thin down to the core then ended quite brilliantly. My social anxiety is triggered, I am petrified and annoyed both at the same time. 8/10

Blade Runner 2049 [Dennis Villanueve, 2017, United States] Despite its cringe-worthy attack on my feminist self, it actually has a rich cinematic vision of a bewildered 2049. 8/10

Ang Larawan [Loy Arcenas, 2017, Philippines]Has such polished musicality that it overwhelms you to the point of it defying the flaws. 8/10

Lipstick Under my Burkha [Alankrita Shrivastava, 2016, India] Comes with great intentions but lacks the powerful female characters the film supposed to have. 8/10

L’Avenir [Mia Hansen-Love, 2016, France] At this point, everyone should know that there is nothing Isabelle Huppert cannot do. 8/10

Nocturnal Animals [Tom Ford, 2016, United States] This is how a writer dies, and this is how a writer comes back with a kill. 8/10

La Tortue Rogue [Michael Dudok De Wit, 2017, France, Japan] A dialogue-less animation that proves that silence speaks a thousand words and could even provoke deep thinking. 8/10 

Everybody Loves Somebody [Catalina Aguilar Mastretta, 2017, Mexico] Nothing much is special and new about it which is why I don’t understand why I love it to a great extent. 8/10 

The Revenant [Iñárritu, 2015] Although it speaks, it doesn’t speak loud enough to be heard. 8/10

10 Cloverfield Lane [Trachtenberg, 2016] It’s wicked in a way that it is good. 8/10

Mon Roi [Maïwenn, 2016] With a narrative so hard to withstand, the riveting performances of Bercot and Cassel made this a must watch. 8/10 

Neruda [Larrain, 2016] Virtually poetic, contextually lyrical. 8/10

Leave No Trace [Debra Ganik, 2018, United States] a small film of massive authenticity and warm touch. It will leave a trace. 8/10

Manila by Night [Ishmael Bernal, 1980, Philippines] a classic representation of the realities of how Manila is a witness to the city’s moral lethargy. 8/10 

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story [Edwards, 2016] If only for its third act, this is already worth every penny. 8/10

Un Homme Ideal [Gozlan, 2016] a film structured so well, it’s both suspenseful and unpredictable. 8/10

Rosita [Aspock, 2015] a momentous character-driven drama on relationships & sacrifices shown through natural & credible performances. 8/10

I Smile Back [Salky, 2015] Nothing I haven’t seen before which is why I don’t know why I liked it. 8/10 

Ned’s Project [Lorca, 2016] Has a profound sense of lesbian issues w/ a well-thought-of character superbly portrayed by Angeli Bayani. 8/10 

The Third Party [Laxamana, 2016] Examines the struggles of sexual confusion, and existential crisis. Something that hits home. 8/10 

Ignacio de Loyola [Dy, 2016] Sincerely really well-made, I’m surprisingly impressed. 8/10 

Curiosity, Adventure, Love [De Leon, Richiardone, 2016] it’s the kind of film full of wisdom, it’s like I left the theater smarter. 8/10

I am Not a Serial Killer [O'Brien, 2016] The thing I like about this is I’m still not sure whether he is or is not a serial killer. 8/10 

Macbeth [Kurzel, 2015] Poetically forceful, it leaves you vividly stunned. 8/10

The Jungle Book [Favreau, 2016] It is so good, I almost stood up from my seat to join them in the jungle. 8/10

Deadpool [Miller, 2016] Still a better love story than Twilight. 8/10

Sovdargari (The Trader) [Tamta Gabrichidze, 2018, Georgia] Emotionally intense depiction of rural poverty. 7.5/10

The Two Popes [Fernando Mereilles, 2019, UK, US, Italy, Argentina] Features two outstanding performances that redeemed it from all its dragging moments. 7.5/10

Baby Driver [Edgar Wright, 2017, United States] The ending blew it, but I had so much fun anyhow. 7.5/10

It Follows [Mitchell, 2015, United States] It isn’t particularly terrifying to me, but this is definitely an anti-cliche horror film worth watching. 7.5/10

Loving Vincent [Dorota Kobiela, Hugh Welchman, 2017, Poland-UK] Focused too much on visual mastery, wasn’t impactful, narrative-wise. 7.5/10 

Black Panther [Ryan Coogler, 2018, United States] Oozing with unusual but likable characters. 7.5/10

A Land Imagined [Chris Yeo, 2018, Singapore, France, Netherlands] An unsettling noir mystery that questions people’s notion of truth. 

My Days of Mercy [Tali Shalom Ezer, 2019, United States] There is a bewitching chemistry between the two leads despite the coldness of it all. 7.5/10

The Other Side of the Wind [Orson Welles, 2018, United States] Not for a Welles beginner but is surely a completist’s delight. 7.5/10

Felicite [Alain Gomis, 2017, Senegal, Congo, France] With such lyrical tone, its narrative was thinly sketched that some of its elements don’t match. 7.5/10

I, Tonya [Craig Gillespie, 2017, United States]Despite Robbie’s knockout portrayal, I still need to connect more with Tonya Harding. 7.5/10

Dunkirk [Christopher Nolan, 2017, United States] Boasts Nolan’s technical superiority. 7.5/10   

Contratiempo (The Invisible Guest) [Oriol Paulo, 2017, Spain] offers an outstanding and enjoyable thrilling ride. 7.5/10

Giant Little Ones [Keith Berhman, 2019, United States] An honest road to knowing your own self in the eyes of a boy transitioning to adolescence. 7.5/10

Revenge [Coralie Fargeat, 2018, France]Caution: explicit cursing while watching and cheering to this. 7.5/10

Tu Pug Imatuy [Arbi Barbarona, 2017, Philippines] Great. Everything here feels authentic, it’s powerful. 7.5/10

Never Not Love You [Antoinette Jadaone, 2018, Philippines] Beautifully and realistically written. It’s just really hard for me to like Reid’s character. 7.5/10 

Kaptn Oskar [Tom Lass, 2013, Germany] Only basic virtue - it is a beautiful film. Not only for its comfort. But for the old poetry of dust emotions. 7.5/10

Walang Forever [Villegas, 2015, Philippines] A delightful romcom that shifts to heavy drama. Has a confusing tone, but ok with the follow through. 7.5/10

Tangerine [Baker, 2015, United States] Funny and adorable in an odd way. My favourite comedy of 2015 (so far). 7.5/10

Wonder Woman [Patty Jenkins, 2017, United States] More than it being a feminist is it being human and that I think is more important. 7.5/10 

That’s Not Us [William Sullivan, 2015, United States] Very real and natural, I’m nostalgic for reasons I cannot explain. 7.5/10

Other People [Chris Kelly, 2016, United States] So subtly-made, yet is filled with so much emotions. I have much respect for this. 7.5/10

Aria [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] Could have gone deeper and darker to make a more harrowing but lasting impact. It borders on the safe side, but still able to tell something important. 7.5/10

Creed [Coogler, 2015, United States] One of the most passionate films of the year. Surprisingly, it’s still very Rocky. 7.5/10

Furie [Le Van Kiet, 2019, Vietnam] With great performance and thrilling choreography, Furie is one of the best action films of 2019. 7.5/10

Logan [James Mangold, 2017, United States] Could be the marvel movie that made me feel the saddest. 7.5/10

The Awakening of Motti Wolkenbrunch [Michael Steiner, 2019, Switzerland, Germany] A funny glimpse at a life of an Orthodox Jewish man with a chemistry that gives you a hopeful ending. 7.5/10

Gerald’s Game [Mike Flanagan, 2017, United States] Meticulously-directed, it is an outstanding adaptation of Stephen King’s novel. 7.5/10

Kita Kita [Sigrid Andrea Bernardo, 2017, Philippines] I have a problem with what it’s trying to romanticize, but I still find it romantic, I’m conflicted. I don’t know but i tend to like films/books that border on finding comfort in loneliness. Kita Kita understands that concept pretty well.  7.5/10

You’re Ugly Too [Mark Noonan, 2015, Ireland] An engaging journey of two unusual characters thrown together infused with a great sense of authenticity. 7.5/10 

Billie & Emma [Samantha Lee, 2018, Philippines] There’s magic in its production design and an amusing chemistry that would remind you of what it’s like to fall in love the first time. It is everyone’s teenage romance, the kind that buries heteronormativity. 7.5/10

The Beguiled [Sofia Coppola, 2017, United States] Powerhouse cast in one of their most memorable performances. 7.5/10

Star Wars: The Last Jedi [Rian Johnson, 2017, United States] I like how it understands the inevitability of war, and how good and evil coexists. 7.5/10

Of Love & Law [Hikaru Toda, 2017, Japan] Questions the intricacies of Japanese culture through a collection of simple yet meaningful moments. 7.5/10

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom [JA Bayona, 2018, United States]

Bambanti [Dulay 2015, Philippines] Has an honest storytelling of a small town tale that examines the correlation between social status and justice. 7.5/10

Singing in Graveyards [Bradley Liew, 2017 Philippines, Malaysia] It’s the things that it did not say that made this movie stirring. 7.5/10

Dukot [Soriano, 2016] has a kind of storytelling and powerhouse cast so good, you hate that it isn’t great. 7.5/10 

Kiko Boksingero [Thop Nazareno, 2017, Philippines] A small movie with lots of charm. A film about longing and finding satisfaction from things that are there all along. 7.5/10

A War [Lindholm, 2015] A war film In which the only villain is the circumstance itself. 7.5/10

Haunted: A Last Visit to the Red House [Phyllis Grande, 2017, Philippines] a quiet little gem. I would have want to cut it shorter though. 7.5/10

El Hombre de al Lado [Duprat, Cohn, 2009] Artistically minimalist, and yet very profound. 7.5/10

I Saw the Devil [Kim Jee-Woon, 2011, South Korea] A traumatic examination of how a monster is made. Creepy yet insightful. 7.5/10

Bagahe [Zig Dulay, 2017, Philippines] Proves that mental disturbance hits my emotions more than seeing physical violence. Affecting once digested. 7.5/10

Moana [Clements, Musker, 2016] Has a great sense of identity and sensibility, with really beautiful visuals and scoring. 7.5/10 

Baconaua [Joseph Israel Laban, 2017, Philippines] Hypnotizing. A small-town tale with profound ideologies buried under its simplicity. 7.5/10

Alipato: The Very Brief Life of an Ember [Khavn, 2016, Philippines] An enjoyable mix of weird artistry, whimsical storytelling, significant animation. Ridiculous but ridiculously exceptional. 7.5/10 

Kon-Tiki [Robbing, Sandberg, 2012] such a wonderful adventure in such a beautiful part of the world. 7.5/10

Jackie [Pablo Larrain, United States, 2016] Portman delivered a warm performance in what could be a cold memoir. 7.5/10

Italian for Beginners [Lone Scherfig, 2001, Denmark] an enjoyable character-driven story of adults finding love in the most unexpected moments. 7.5/10

Room 8 [James Griffiths, 2013, United States] Unique and smart. Too amazed, I had to share it with everyone. 7.5/10

Black Panther [Ryan Coogler, 2018, United States] 

Avengers: Infinity War [Anthony and Joe Russo, 2018, United States]

The Invitation [Karyn Kusama, 2016, United States] I know a psychological thriller like this is effective when I find myself so uncomfortable, wanting to leave, cautious of being brainwashed. 7.5/10 

Ready Player One [Steven Spielberg, 2018, United States] Too amusing to the point of apathy. Still entertaining though. 7.5/10

Disobedience [Sebastian Lelio, 2018, Ireland] Depicts the beauty of internal turmoils and hidden desires, it’s gripping. 7.5/10

Isle of Dogs [Wes Anderson, 2018, United States] A quirky imagination of a simple narrative, told in a hyper-stylized artistry. 7.5/10

Apostasy [Daniel Kokotajlo, 2017, United Kingdom] the more it rolls, the more I loathe religion. 7.5/10 

Wonder Woman [Patty Jenkins, 2017, United States] More than it being a feminist is it being human and that I think is more important. 7.5/10 

Trumbo [Roach, 2015] For a film about an exemplary screenwriter, it was only averagely written. 7.5/10

Miss You Already [Hardwicke, 2015] The kind that will make you laugh, or weep, or both at the same time. 7.5/10

Hintayan ng Langit [Villegas, 2018] I’m not completely sold on a couple of its elements but boy, Gina Pareño is a gem. A sparkling one.  7.5/10  

Always Be My Maybe [Villegas, 2016] Let’s do away with the immature cheesy scenes. The chemistry is already cute without it. 7.5/10

Malila: The Farewell Flower [Anucha Boonyawatana, 2018, Thailand] A beguiling narration of existentialism, redemption, and the philosophy of Buddhism. All told in such calming gaze, it’s actually hypnotic. 7.5/10

Heartland [Maura Anderson, 2017, United States] A lot of technical expertise is lacking but it’s heartbreaking just the same. 7/10

Under Heaven [Tilepbergen, 2015] A series of unfortunate events told through a collection of expressive shots and believable lead. 7/10

Meet Me in St Gallen [Irene Villamor, 2018, Philippines]

Meadowland [Morano, 2015, United States] I’ve always loved Olivia Wilde, and this is her most accomplished performance yet. 7/10

Never Not Love You [Antoinette Jadaone, 2018, Philippines] Beautifully and realistically written. It’s just really hard for me to like Reid’s character. 7/10

Eight Grade [Bo Burnham, 2018, United States] One of the most important and most natural teen movies of the year. 7/10

UnTrue [Sigrid Andrea Bernardo, 2019, Philippines] to put it simply, UnTrue is a thrilling rollercoaster ride. 7/10

En Chance Til [Bier, 2014] has an underdeveloped style and presentation to convince its audience of its supposed resonant narrative. 7/10

The Hitman’s Bodyguard [Patrick Hughes, 2017, United States] To hell with that, I enjoyed it. A lot. 7/10

Ma’ Rosa [Mendoza, 2016] a glimpse of the reality of poverty & how Filipinos negotiate for their lives. Important film but not my fave. 7/10

Dear Ex [Chih-Yen Hsu, 2018, Taiwan] Features odd but genuine kind of love. It is funny, heartfelt, and charming all at the same time. 7/10

The Miseducation of Cameron Post [Desiree Akhavan, 2018, United States] Provocatively presents how emotionally abusing conversion therapy could be. 7/10

First They Killed my Father [Angelina Jolie, 2017, United States, Cambodia] sincerely and sensitively paints a portrait of a country’s tragic history. 7/10

The Journey [Chiu Keng Guan, 2014, Malaysia] Gives you a glimpse of Chinese culture against the backdrop of the beautiful Malaysian landscapes. I really had fun. 7/10

Baboy Halas [Fiola, 2016] a film that will truly immerse you to a life completely unknown. Tranquil yet turbulent. A new experience. 7/10

Tale of Tales [Garrone, 2015, Italy] Boasts lavish productions with a series of macabre fairytales for adults. 7/10

I’m Drunk, I Love You [JP Habac, 2017, Philippines] Makes you feel so much. Something too relatable, it’s terrific. If only for its music scoring, it’s already worth the watch. 7/10 

La Tête Haute [Bercot, 2016] Paradot’s portrayal of a violent juvenile is one of the best I’ve seen this year. 7/10

Crazy Rich Asians [Jon Chu, 2018, United States] Important and feel-good, but that’s just it for me. 7/10

Vince & Kath & James [Theodore Boborol, 2016, Philippines] wait taym pers, bakit ampogi nung bagets? 7/10

Truth [Vanderbilt, 2015] It’s bothersome that it will make you thirst for truth, but the facts wont prove you that. 7/10

Mrs [Alix, 2016] Doesn’t go too big on drama but delivers first-rate portrayals of women wrestling with their own inner demons. 7/10

The Girl King [Mika Kaurismaki, 2015, Sweden, Finland] has a strong female character who does not dare conform to society’s truths. 7/10

Buhay Habambuhay [Herras, 2016] Technically, it was just okay. But it’s the kind of okay that lives. 7/10

Distance [Perci Intalan, 2018, Philippines] a tender family drama with powerful performances of characters who choose to love no matter how wrong or right. 7/10

Showroom [Fernando Molnar, 2014, Argentina] is a showroom of how beautiful and luxurious an artificial world could be. 7/10

Captain Fantastic [Matt Ross, 2016, United States] a thoroughly-observed film that asks too many radical questions that can only be answered by contradicting its own philosophy. Quite a realization that balance is the key to life. 7/10 

The Intervention [DuVall, 2016] Seems like a real bond, I don’t mind hanging out with them again. 7/10

Contagion [Steven Soderbergh, 2011, United States] Believable but somehow lacking in its scare tactic. 7/10

La Pazza Gioia [Paolo Virzi, 2016, Italy] The chemistry and the friendship formed between Beatrice and Donatella is a delightful box full of surprises. 7/10

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time [Mamoru Hosoda, 2006, Japan] an entertaining anime on time travel done with slick sensitivity. 7/10

Jorgen + Anne = Sant [Sewitsky, 2011] When it comes to love, who are we to judge? 7/10

Zodiac [David Fincher, 2007, United States] Intelligent drama, boring thriller. Not a fan. 7/10

The Greatest Showman [Michael Gracey, 2018, United States]

The Write Moment [Dominic Lim, 2017, Philippines] Incredibly funny. Unfamiliar yet relatable. 7/10

Baka Bukas [Samantha Lee, 2017] A realistic take on coming out and drifting apart. 7/10

Mistress America [Baumbach, 2015] In which anxiety, loneliness and one’s own crises are hidden behind the wit. 7/10

The Battleship Island [Seung-wan Ryoo, 2017, South Korea] Kind of an upset for a big-budget film. It was entertaining anyhow. 7/10

One Day [Banjong Pisanthanakun, 2016, Thailand] I could buy the romance here but I wouldn’t. Still quite good though. 7/10

Hunt for the Wilderpeople [Taika Waititi, 2016, New Zealand] Boasts really funny puns, and spectacular landscapes. All fun. 7/10

Nabubulok [Sonny Calvento, 2017, Philippines] With how much I read and watch crime and legal thrillers, I find this film very problematic in more ways than one. Still worth a watch though. 7/10

The Diary of a Teenage Girl [Heller, 2015] Well, that was quite an extraordinary diary. 7/10

Cafe. Waiting. Love [Jiang Jin Lin, 2014, Taiwan] Better if cut into two different films. Says something important somewhere. 7/10

Ken and Kazu [Shoji, 2015] Hard to watch. Pays off in the end. 7/10

Dagen Zonder Lief [Groeningen, 2007] a subtle observation of how youth disappears from sight. 7/10

Hush [Flanagan, 2016] Interesting use of silence both as a scare tactic and as a lifesaver in this nail-biting thriller. 7/10

Bridgend [Ronde, 2016] When there’s a teen suicide outbreak, how are you not going to like it? 7/10

Smaller and Smaller Circles [Raya Martin, 2017, Philippines] Suspense done right but there’s something about its exchanges that seems unnatural. 7/10

Lily [Deligero, 2016] Impressive style and use of myth to reject misogyny. 7/10

Pop Aye [Kirsten Tan, 2018, Thailand, Singapore] Is as slow but as heavy as its lead. 7/10

The Lady in the Van [Hytner, 2015] Nothing much in here stands out except for Maggie Smith’s glorious performance. 7/10

Instalado [Jason Paul Laxamana, 2017, Philippines] Has a creative approach in showing education as a privilege in a world of Insta-everything. Clever, it resembles the paranoia Margaret Atwood gives, and the subtle societal dysfunctions Yorgos Lanthimos offers. 7/10

High Tide [Tara Illenberger, Philippines, 2017] There’s something beautiful behind this film’s innocence. Too slow for my taste though. 7/10

Sa Gabing Nananahimik ang mga Kuliglig [Iar Lionel Arondaing, 2017, Philippines] Experimental with its cinematography and is probably its greatest strength. It’s 4:3 frame explains the film pretty well. 7/10

The Edge of Seventeen [Kelly Fremon Craig, 2016, United States] Full of hypothetical teenage angst, and coming of age romance. Was okay. 7/10

TPO [Altarejos, 2016] Melancholy & vexation told through intrinsic acting & a mix of essential & nonessential collection of long takes. 7/10

The Day After Valentine’s [Jason Paul Laxamana, 2018, Philippines] Brilliant in its canny use of language to illustrate people’s tendency to miscommunicate emotions. 7/10

Rhymes for Young Ghouls [Barnaby, 2014] For a period film, this is kinda lost in the modern world. Other than that, it’s good. 7/10

Child of Debt [Swamy, 2015] a tale of forlorn hope in which life is on loan & the only way to pay is through death. Honestly beautiful. 7/10

Certain Women [Kelly Reichardt, 2016, United States] It takes patience to watch this, but in the end, the winning silences and subtleties are worth it. 7/10

Affinity [Fywell, 2008] I’m very angry, disappointed, and affected. If that’s the goal, then it did I great job. 7/10

Tanna [Butler, Dean, 2016] a tribal Romeo and Juliet. The kind of “you and me against the world” that changed a way of living. 7/10

Thoroughbreds [Cory Finley, 2018, United States] The kind of film that doesn’t lead to what you think. It’s black comedy of my liking. 7/10

4 Latas [Gerardo Olivares, 2019, Spain] For all its nonsense, I enjoyed it. 7/10