#guilt: plausible option for next dark side

[creatikermit-ar-ts]

GUILT: A Plausible Option for the Next "Dark Side"

@alltimevirgilant made a post about how Guilt could definitely be the next "Dark Side", as it follows the lines of the plot of the latest episode (Selfishness VS Selflessness - so obvious SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven't seen it yet). As stated in the video, Thomas is a very empathetic person and with choices influenced by empathy, or, in fact, choices that sometimes are made without empathy in mind, often come with guilt. @/alltimevirgilant continues to explain how the idea of guilt fits into the character of Thomas in their post, so you can click here if you want to read that.

Now, I want to follow on from their original point because there are actually quite a few hints from the video that may allude to Guilt being the next "Dark Side" (and if not a new Side, then perhaps a possible video topic).

So far, we only know of one definite "Dark Side" - or, very simply put, a new Side that was not introduced in the same way as Logan, Roman, Patton or Virgil - and that is Deceit. Our first (and pretty much only) hint to Deceit that wasn't in his debut episode was featured in MOVING ON: Part 2/2.

Roman suggests lying to Thomas's ex, which leads to these responses:

[P: Now, Roman, lying is wrong.]

[T: Yeah, that's a side of myself that I would prefer not to feed into.]

Other than the obvious hints to a trait that at the time had not been introduced to the series, I think there is one other thing important to note. Yes, the idea of dishonesty is being mentioned (and when placed in the context of Sanders Sides, I suppose that this is the personification of said trait), but what I think is more important in helping to find future hints to possible "Dark Sides" is the fact that through mentioning deceit, they want to avoid it. Both Patton and Thomas (and I suppose Virgil too) are making the effort to make a decision that does not feature deception in any way. They are trying to avoid deceit because they believe it is a bad thing or that it is unhelpful, as well as possibly hurting Thomas and the people he surrounds himself with. They mention and hint at something that we now know as a "Dark Side", but they also mention the idea of not wanting to "feed into" that trait or use it as possible option for solving the current dilemma. Still with me? Simply put, when searching for hints of new Side that we do not know of, we must also search for how they (the characters - whether it be Thomas or one of the Sides) want to avoid that trait/aspect of Thomas's personality/decision making.

So, now we've covered that, on to the new video!

Starting off, we get the first mention of guilt, where Roman is responding to Patton's scolding on the idea of lying:

[R: I would have stayed in my room if I knew Dad was gonna take us on a guilt-trip.]

Notice how Roman is saying he would have "stayed in [his] room" if it meant he could avoid feeling guilty, or at least, the talk about something that could potentially make him feeling guilty. Our key word is there: avoiding. Roman wants to avoid guilt.

Next point, which I think is rather interesting! The next mention of guilt is further on in the video, and a little harder to find. Again, it stems from Roman, when he is placed at the witness stand and Deceit is questioning him.

[D: Can you spell your name for the court?]

And, of course, Roman spells it correctly.

[R: R-O-M-A-N!] [D: Ooh, I'm afraid that's wrong.]

Deceit insists that Roman's name is in fact spelt differently.

[D: It's actually spelt W-R-O-A-M-M-I-N.]

Now, at first glance, it seems that Deceit is just messing with Roman, and, to a certain extent, he is. But, this joking doesn't serve Deceit's argument or point in anyway whatsoever. Nor does it really fit into the rest of the discussion or topic, so I think it has to mean a little more than what it does on the surface. Especially the way Deceit spells Roman's name. It seems rather specific, and certainly not just gibberish or random letters. So, I did some digging and found that when translated from Western Frisian 'wroammin' actually translates to 'remorse':

((Now, please keep in mind that Google Translate isn't always reliable, so this translation may not be accurate.))

Remorse is a synonym of guilt. We are missing the key phrase about avoiding said remorse and I think that this part could definitely be implying that Roman feels remorse rather than hinting at a new Side, but it is certainly too odd to be a coincidence. And it is certainly implying that guilt is playing a large part in this dilemma, whether just the emotion or a personified trait.

And the next mention of guilt is towards the very end of the video, where Thomas is giving his concluding monologue.

[T: Listen to your empathy because you might be sparing yourself some future guilt by doing good for someone else.]

This is very important because it is a concluding statement - it's the final decision. Here, Thomas is saying that empathy is a good thing to listen to and that you should allow it to influence your decisions because if you do you can avoid future guilt. Here, he is holding empathy as more important than guilt and shows guilt as a bad thing. Whether you believe that avoiding guilt and your actions taken in order to do so are selfish or selfless doesn't matter here. He has decided that guilt is bad a thing, and must be avoided.

But here's the thing, in both videos (for the sake of this argument) that we are going to assume hint at possible "Dark Sides" (MOVING ON: Part 2/2 and Selfishness VS Selflessness) decide that whatever trait they mention must be avoided at all times. The characters take one situation that is provided in the video and apply the exact same setting to any and all future situations. They say: lying is wrong and guilt is bad, so therefore they must be avoided. And not to mention, both of these principles, in fact, stem from Patton.

What I'm trying to say is that a "Dark Side" has always tended to come about or at least be hinted at when the rest of the characters are trying to avoid that trait. Even Virgil! The reason Virgil "lashes out" is because the others sometimes ignore him (paraphrased from EMBARRASSING PHASES).

Whether these mentions of guilt are to hint at a new Side or a future video topic (perhaps even the follow up video Joan was talking about? Empathy VS Guilt, maybe? haha), it's hard to ignore these subtle mentions or write them off as just coincidences. The reason for that being, is that guilt isn't actually brought to the viewers attention - or the characters', for that matter - until the very end, and even then it's not a large part of the video. Even though it's quite clear that guilt is playing a role in the uncertainty of the final decision and during the course of the discussion of the dilemma, none of the characters really outright say it. Perhaps this is why the video ending seems... unsatisfying, without sounding like I'm criticising the video harshly (it's actually my favourite episode to date) and why so many viewers found it hard to agree with the final decision. Because not all the points were really discussed (among other things that I'll talk about in other posts).

With the kinda cryptic post Joan made about the follow up episode and the original decision to name the episode Selfishness VS Selflessness Part 1/2, which was then scrapped to avoid confusion, all in the back of my mind, it's hard to imagine that this debate is over. Perhaps a follow up video won't link directly to this video, but I'm sure it will make reference to it.

And I think Guilt, whether as a Side or topic, is going to definitely play a part in it.

[thomasshelbydrabbles]

The Messenger (2/22)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Adeline Taylor (OC)

Warnings: period typical sexism, series typical violence, period typical views of PTSD, period typical racism, blood and gore

Summary: Tantrums are thrown, someone blows up the Garrison, and Adeline has a meeting. 

**This is a series, so you should read The School Teacher first if you want to understand everything.**

Note: As the show does, I am loosely using actual events and people from WW1 and other time periods represented in the show. These are fictionalized versions of both events and the people.

Word Count: 4,609

A/N: Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list.

Camden Town, 1920

“Is she in a better mood than he is?” John asked as he walked into the room. 

“Not at all,” Arthur responded. “She’s thrown so many things at me fuckin’ head I’ve lost count.” 

Adeline growled. “I can hear you both, you know.” 

“Good,” John responded. “Quit throwing your fuckin’ tantrum and get over here.” 

“I won’t do it,” Adeline said as she continued pacing. “Fuck Thomas Shelby and his fucking rules and ideas.” 

Arthur muttered. “He’s doing this for you.” 

Adeline pointed a finger at him. “No, no he’s not.”

“You’re going to talk to him.”

“I’m going to murder him.”

John smirked. “‘Course you are, but you’ve got to see him in order to do that.”

Adeline slumped onto the couch, head in her hands. “Is he here then?”

She felt the cushion dip as Arthur sat next to her. “He’s here.” 

“How?” Adeline peeked at him from between her fingers. 

Arthur smirked. “Aw, angel, when it comes to you, Tom’s all soft. He loves you.” 

“You use our love against him?” Adeline asked, a small smile on her face. 

“‘Course I do, learned from the best.” 

“Send him in,” Adeline conceded, “But you boys start digging a hole, just in case.” 

John laughed. “I’ve got wagers going. Odds are three to one in your favor.” 

For the first time in what seemed like days, Adeline laughed. Arthur stood from the couch. He and John left the room. She heard muffled voices in the hallway before the door opened again. Glancing up she saw Tommy for the first time in days. Guilt swamped her as she took in the sunken look of his eyes, the dark shadows so purple they looked bruised. Standing she moved to him quickly, turning his face gently from side to side. 

“Who hit you?”

“Alfie.” 

She nodded, fingers lingering on his cheek. His hand covered hers and she shivered at the touch of him. Angry as she’d been, hurt as she was, she missed him. They’d been fighting for days about how to deal with Inspector Campbell, about France, about Arke, about fucking tea one spectacular afternoon. 

“I’m tired of fighting.” 

He slanted her a look of disbelief. She chuckled. 

“Fine, I’m tired of fighting with you.”

“Then stop shutting me out.” 

She paused, considered him. “Hm. I take that back. Seems I’m getting a second wave.” Adeline nodded as she leaned her head back, hand falling back to her side. “Think I’m ready for us to fight some more.” 

“Alright.” 

She nodded. Alright. She reached into his pocket, pulled out the cigarettes and matchbox. Lighting one, she set them down on the table as she walked around the room. Clearly, Alfie hadn’t hit him hard enough. Shutting him out. The concept at this point was absurd. Tommy’d just found another way to say he didn't like their plan and wasn't getting his way so a tantrum was his only other option. Because he was fucking child. 

“We all agreed, Tommy. We need leverage on Campbell before we go home. You’re the one who said you don’t parlay when you’re on the back foot. I’m not launching an offensive without more intel. And I’m bloody well not leaving myself vulnerable if I’m going to be on the defensive.” 

“We did agree.” 

Campbell had mentioned some government sanctioned action that needed discretion. She and Alfie automatically assumed Campbell had someone or multiple someones he needed Adeline to kill, someone the government wanted no official involvement with - plausible deniability. It limited the list to communits or Irish. Sadly each of those lists were so fucking long it would take a lifetime to narrow it down without getting very fucking lucky. Her money was on the Irish. This led to their current…disagreement. 

“Two days.” 

Smoke curled out of her lips as she watched his face. He barely looked at her, and when his eyes did glance her way she wished he hadn’t. 

“You and the boys go back to Birmingham, get all the track business settled. We can’t afford for Kimber’s men to do something stupid; you have to go deal with that. Alfie and I will be here gathering information, and then I’ll come home.”

“Then you’ll come home.” 

“Don’t just stand there and just nod your fucking head at me. You Shelby men are a - they don’t have the words yet, but there’s no reasoning with you once you’ve made up your bloody mind. This plan is the best chance we have at making it through this mess without - ”

Tommy’s jaw tightened. Adeline turned away. 

“It’s my fault,” she whispered. “I love you. You and your whole bloody family and now I can’t just - ”

“Can’t just what?”

She whipped around, hair flying as she glared at him with tears in her eyes. “I can’t just fucking kill Campbell, kill Churchill…kill Arke, again. I refuse to take that risk with you. You think you know how these men work, how this system works, but I promise you whatever you’re thinking, whatever you think you understand because I’ve told you some stories? The reality is so much worse.” 

Tommy continued to watch her with that same calm expression on his face. 

Adeline walked to the door and pulled it open. “Get out.” 

He followed her with his eyes, lifted his brows at her demand. She crossed her arms, raised her brows in return. Polly’d been right about one thing, they were both too damn stubborn. Tommy moved to the door, paused, glanced up at her. 

“You’re coming home with me.” 

“Fuck off.” 

The door slammed shut after he left. She moved back to the table, poured herself a drink and heard the door open again.

“I swear, Thomas - ”

“Pour me one, yeah? We have things to discuss,” Alfie said. 

Adeline glanced over her shoulder, felt herself slump a bit as she moved to grab a second glass. She’d realized something since being in Camden Town with Alfie and Tommy and the other Shelby boys. They all watched her. She’d noticed it with Alfie during the war, but it’d been war, so she’d had other things at the forefront of her mind. His was just as unnerving as Tommy’s, just as steady and penetrating. She’d concluded it was why Tommy’s unflinching stare hadn’t bothered her like it did most people. It felt almost normal. 

“If you’re going to take his side, I’ll throw you out.” 

“Side? I’ve no sides in this lovers argument between you and Thomas Shelby. No sides there, pet. Although, I did hit him in the fucking face for being an idiot, right, for being a fuckin’ idiot, not because I was taking sides, you see. It’s a very important difference that between sides - ” he folded his left hand out. “and idiots.” He folded his right hand out. 

Adeline smiled as she poured Alfie a drink. She sat at the table, traced the rim of her glass with a finger. 

“He loves you.” 

“Aye.” 

“He’s worried about you, pet. Same as the rest of us, ‘cept he don’t know, not really, right? Not in his bones, in his blood what Arke is, who Arke is, so he’s scared, right, scared - ”

“Of me.” She downed her drink.

“No, pet. Not scared of you, scared for you. Fucking hell, you’re both so bloody stubborn, right, and stubborn in the same ways. Perfect for each other, yeah. You still think he’s going to see you, and fucking run away? Is that what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours? That you’re going to do something, right, going to cross some sort of fucking line, hm? What bloody line? There are no lines. What is it you think he’s going to do? Men like him are like me, pet, they don’t run away from the blood, yeah, they chase it, they need it because it’s all they understand. Worst thing in the world for people like us, for you, pet, worst thing in the world is peace and quiet.”

“I went to Birmingham for some peace and quiet.” 

Alfie stroked his beard, grinned at her. “You did. Yes, you went to Birmingham and wanted quiet, and instead, yeah, instead you found - very fucking quickly - found the worst gangster in the area and adopted his whole fucking family.” 

“God, you sound proud of me for it.” 

“I am.” 

Her eyes widened as she stared at him, trying to comprehend his words. “You’re the one who warned me about getting close to people, about making ties.” 

Alfie nodded. “I said those things. I said them because you had this idea in your head about being a citizen, or something like that, yeah? Going to be a part of polite society. Those people, those polite people have no business in what we do, and you’d break them, and they’d break you, right, and I’ll not have normal fucking toff be what breaks you. Instead you found Thomas Shelby. He’s seen you, right, seen you use his own cap to nearly kill a man with your bare hands. Knew you’d be the one to kill Sabini’s cousin, right, knew it and didn’t flinch at the thought of the blood being on your hands because he knew you wanted it.”

Alfie patted the spot next to him. Adeline pursed her lips, watched Alfie raise an eyebrow at her, as though it would scare her. Silly man. But, she moved around the table and sat next to him. 

“This isn’t about Thomas Shelby being afraid, pet. It’s about you being afraid, innit? And, I understand that fear because I understand you, and I watched you, saw it happen, watched you put it all back, pack it away, right, and now you’re going to have to unbury it, unbury the part of you that keeps you up at night. Let him in, right, pull him in with you because if you don’t, right, if you don’t Thomas Shelby is going to fucking break his way into it anyway - he’ll force you to let him see you because you’ve already forced him to be seen by you.” 

Tears streamed down her face as she blinked up at Alfie. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head before standing up. 

“I’m going to send him in, and you’re going to talk to him because I’m fucking locking the door, right, that door,” he pointed to the door. “Isn’t going to open until you’re both done.” 

Knowing she couldn't argue with him about it, she just nodded her head. Alfie opened the door and hollered at Ollie to fetch Thomas. It didn’t take as long as she wanted it to for Tommy to walk back into the room. When she blinked up at him, his eyes narrowed dangerously and he spun to face Alfie. 

“The fuck did you do to her, eh?” 

“Tommy,” Adeline called, voice hoarse with tears. “Leave him be.” 

Tommy glared at Alfie who wore a smug little smile. He gave Adeline a knowing look before he shut the door behind him. She winced at the sound of the lock engaging. Part of her had hoped he’d been exaggerating. Tommy crouched in front of her, hands cupping her cheeks, fingers brushing the tears away. 

“No more of that, love. Hate to see you cry,” he told her. 

Even boiling mad at each other, he still cared, still wanted to fix it, make everything better for her. She tugged on his jacket, trying to pull him up to sit with her. He caught on and smiled as he sat on the couch. Snuggling into his side, Adeline sighed as his arms wrapped around her. Fiddling with his vest buttons, she tried to organize her thoughts. 

“I worked hard to stop being Arke after the war,” Adeline began. “I don’t like myself when I’m her.” She paused, felt Tommy’s hand gently rub her back. “That’s not exactly right, I’m not two people, but I think it’s easier to think about it that way because I feel different, felt different in the war when Arke became my name, became my identity. To beat Campbell, to get us out of this mess, I’m afraid, Tommy, fuck I’m so afraid that I’ll have to become her again, unleash all of those parts of me that are ugly and scarred and terrible to keep us safe - and I’ll do it, but what I’m most afraid of is that when it’s done, I won’t be able to kill Arke a second time. I’m afraid I’ll be that version of me forever.” 

“The day you saved Finn,” Tommy spoke, voice low, close to her ear. “Arthur got to you first because I couldn’t move. I stood there and I watched you slice into that man, saw the way the blood stained your hands, your face. I’d never seen someone so at war with themselves as you were.” 

“War with myself?” 

Tommy nodded. “Part of you loved it, wanted to keep going, push the blade in a bit further, see how badly you could make it hurt, then there was the part of you that was crying, that wanted to be horrified by what you’d done. I think what bothered you the most was how little it bothered you.” 

“Tommy - ”

“You feel it, like I do. I saw it at the Eden Club, at the races. The violence gets under your skin, looking for a way out.” 

“So I embrace it then?”

Tommy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Don’t fight it, don’t let it tear you apart. It’s a part of you. I see it; I know you think I don’t, but you’re bloody terrifying most of the time, love. I can’t look away.”   

 Birmingham, 2 Days Later

She stood next to Tommy, watching the smoke rise from the burnt out shell of the Garrison. Tommy and Moss stood talking about times and patrols. Ignoring them, she walked to the door and reached for the pieces of green confetti left behind. According to Moss, no one saw anything, which means someone saw something, but they were scared. Scared of someone more than they were the Peaky Blinders. Good news was it limited the list. She quickly eliminated Sabini; it wasn't his style. He would come for blood, for people - no one died in the fire, and he wasn’t known around here enough for people to be afraid of him. 

She hated that it was the Irish because the sinking feeling in her stomach forced her to accept the reality that it was Campbell. The timing was too perfect. She’d just gotten into the train station when John had driven up shouting about the Garrison. It made sense that Campbell had people watching her in Birmingham, but to realize how quickly he’d managed to get people to watch her in London increased her level of concern. Luckily the time she’d spent in London with Alfie revealed he’d been recruited to work the secret Irish desk for the Secret Intelligence Service. Unfortunately his new position made him all the more dangerous. 

“Who?” Polly asked.

Adeline glanced up at Tommy. They hadn’t decided exactly how much to reveal to everyone. He gave her a quick nod, which didn’t go unnoticed by Polly who scoffed at them both. 

“Irish,” Adeline answered. 

“Why would the Irish want to blow up our pub?” 

Adeline sighed. “It’s an…introduction of sorts. I have a feeling I’m about to be tested.” 

“What about London?” 

Tommy shook his head. “Irish business is separate from all that.” 

“What, that’s all you’re going to say,” Polly scolded. “Irish business?” 

Tommy nodded. 

Polly turned to Adeline. “And you, you have anything else you’d like to add?” 

Adeline shook her head. “Irish business, Pol. Best leave it alone.” 

“There’s two of them now,” Polly muttered to herself as she stomped back to the car. “God help us. Fuck.” 

Adeline shrugged her shoulders; some things were better left unknown. Too many people already knew. 

“I’m off to the Black Lion.” 

Tommy raised an eyebrow as he rubbed a cigarette along his bottom lip before lighting it. 

“Good as place as any to start. I’m probably expected.” 

Lifting up to her toes, Adeline pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be fine.” 

As she walked down the stairs into the darkly-lit Black Lion, Adeline missed the Garrison more than ever knowing it would be months before they could reopen. She knew Arthur would save what he could, but it didn’t remove the feeling that something irreplaceable had been taken away from her. 

The barman looked up as she walked across the room. She could read it on his face, the strong desire to say something, to speak out about a woman being in a bar…unescorted, but no one in Birmingham would deny her a drink. 

“Whiskey.” 

“Heard there was a bit of a bang in your part of town?”

Adeline smirked as she took a sip of the whiskey. Not as good as the stuff Arthur got for them, but not bad. 

“My part of town?” 

“Your pub.”

“That’s Arthur Shelby’s pub, not mine.” 

He snorted. Maybe he was right to; it was all semantics at this point. Wearing Tommy’s ring made her “good as” a Shelby. She glanced up as a young boy she didn’t recognize came down the stairs. 

“You Miss Taylor?”

“Aye.” 

He nodded and waved her up the stairs. Adeline downed the rest of the drink, set the empty glass down on the counter, and reached for her purse. 

“On the house.” 

She nodded. If they were trying to be subtle about this setup, they used Tommy’s definition of the word. Following after the young boy, she noted how far away from the main part of town they were moving, further into known Irish territory. In London, she’d gathered as much information as possible on every Irish person from Small Heath to Sparkbrook. As she traversed the labyrinthine path the boy led her through, she devised a short list of people who were capable of putting this together, then narrowed it further to those who would be willing to work with Campbell. 

The boy ran into the backdoor of a butcher shop. Adeline slowed her pace, listening for the sounds of anyone waiting for her. Cautiously, she stepped into the large room, saw the animal carcasses hanging from hooks. To her left she heard quick footsteps. Moving quickly to the side, she ducked the man’s outstretched arms. Spinning around she caught him in the gut with her elbow, watching him crumple to the ground. The second man was smarter, waited to see how she moved. He came at her quickly, threw a jab at her face. She turned her head away just in time. But he caught her in the side with a low left hook. Grunting, she grinned up at him. Impatient now, he threw a sloppy punch at her face. She grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind him, propelling him face first into the brick wall. 

“Not a very polite way to welcome a lady,” Adeline whispered as she pressed his face to the wall. 

He let out a pitifully pained noise as she scraped his cheek down the brick a few inches. Fisting his hair with her free hand, she tugged his face back, saw the shallow lacerations across his face, saw the blood welling up. They blew up the Garrison. Slamming his head forward, she watched it bounce against the brick before he fell to the floor with a dull thud.  

“You’re…no lady,” the first one managed as he stumbled to his feet. 

Adeline nodded. “You’re right, I’m not, but that doesn't mean you both weren’t rude. Inviting me here like this, then laying in wait for me.” She tsked. “Not very welcoming.” 

“Just asked to search you, to escort you back.” 

Adeline scoffed. “Not bloody likely. Now, I can knock you out like I did your friend there, or you can take him with you and fuck off. I’ll find my own way.”

He considered her offer, looked down at where his friend was still in the same crumpled position he’d fallen to, bleeding onto the floor. He’d live. Probably.

“They’re in the back. Down the hallway, turn right, second door at the end.” 

“See?” Adeline asked. “That was much easier, wasn’t it? Less painful for you too, I’d imagine.” 

He nodded. 

“Go on, pick him up. I’m going to wait here and make sure you both leave the building safely. These butcher shops can be quite dangerous.” 

After watching them stumble out, she followed the directions. Walking into the room, she saw two locals sitting at the table. They looked up at her, startled. 

“I, uh, sent your welcoming party home,” Adeline said as she walked to the table. “They were quite rude, you know.” 

She sat without being invited and enjoyed the way they both stiffened in their chairs. Adeline recognized the woman, Irene O’Donnell. She noted the hard look in her eyes, wondering what might have put it there. As for the other, his jaw clenched as his hand closed into a fist. She recognized him, too. Donal Henry, now he was a true IRA man. What an odd pair they made. Poor Irene, dead, and she didn’t even know it.  

“You blew up Arthur Shelby’s club,” Adeline told them. She reached into her purse for a cigarette, pausing as Donal pulled the gun he’d had sitting on the table into his hand. Ah, so he was the dog and Irene held the leash.

She raised an eyebrow, waved the box at them. When he lowered the gun back to the table, she lit her cigarette. 

“Adeline Taylor.” 

“You blew up Arthur Shelby’s club. That’s a very loud, very dangerous way to get my attention, so if it’s all the same to you, just tell me what it is Inspector Campbell wants me to do and I’ll be on my way. I’ve shopping to get finished yet today.”

“Inspector Campbell?” 

She nodded. “Means you’re a pro-treaty Paddy. I wonder - ” she blew a plume of smoke to the ceiling. “Does that make you a traitor to your people, your cause? I get confused.” 

“I’m no traitor. Wars are ended with peace treaties.” 

Adeline laughed. “War? What would you know about war? You’re all children at play. Christ. Here you are doing the Crowns' work for them, killing each other, saving them the bloody time and you sit here talking about war.” 

The woman crossed her arms, kept a steady gaze on Adeline. “Do you think this is a joke?” 

“No,” Adeline shook her head, blew smoke from her lips. “Not to you. To everyone else, perhaps, but not to you. You kill your countrymen with the utmost seriousness.”

Donal jumped from the table, gun in hand as he leveled it at Adeline’s head. She ignored him, even as she heard him thumb back the hammer. 

“There are other ways to do this. I say we blow her brains across the floor, send a message.” 

Adeline couldn’t hold back the laugh. How were the Irish still such a problem for the Crown if people like this were making decisions? 

“Your fiancé has a reputation for not being scared of anything,” Irene said. “If he’s anything like you, I believe the rumor. You do think we’re a joke. I can see it in your eyes.” 

“It is hard to take you and your man here seriously, Irene - ” She caught the slight twitch in Irene’s eye. Good. 

“Aye, I know who you are. I know your son Sean goes to school in Harborne. I know about the braces on his legs. Poor boy.”  

The barrel of the gun pressed harshly against her temple. 

“I know that if your boy here doesn’t stop pressing that gun to my head, I’m going to kill him before we get to business. Control your dog, Irene. If you don’t, I might need to have a conversation with my friend Byrne about your new allegiances? Now, he’s a real IRA man. Met him in Arthur’s pub, before you blew it to hell, and I think he would find your new political interests interesting, might be worth something to him.”

Irene didn’t flinch. Adeline admired that about her. She took this all quite seriously. Worked hard to keep her face neutral, her breathing even, her hands locked around her arms so that if her hands trembled, no one would know. She’d bet two to one they trembled. This woman knew a cause, not a war. 

“You think Campbell protects you, and your son, because he’s an agent of the Crown. You work for him, not with him. He doesn’t care about your cause, or you. That makes you replaceable. I’m not sure what he promised you, but whatever it was isn’t worth it.”

“What does that make you then?” Donal asked. 

“I dance to Campbell’s tune because unfortunately for the both of us, he’s smart. Not a bad dance partner,” Adeline shrugged. “Eventually I’ll change the tune on him. Until then, I dance.”   

“You’re one decision away from death,” Irene told her. 

“Were you not listening? I said I’d do it, but you’ve not told me anything about what you want me to do. Even your people wouldn’t go blowing up the Peaky Blinders’ pub without a good reason, so share it with me so I can leave. It’s been a long day, and I’d like a bath.”

“Let me shoot her.” 

“No.” 

Adeline glanced up at the man. “It might not be today, Donal - ” She smiled as he clenched his jaw. Maybe he’d tighten it so much he’d crack a tooth. “Might not be today, but I’ll kill you before this is done.” 

“You’re in no position to be making threats, Miss Taylor.” 

“We were warned about this,” Irene said. “Warned that she’d try to get under our skin.” 

The two exchanged a look, and she felt the barrel move away from her head. It itched where gunpowder had been left behind, but she refused to fidget, to move her hand to scratch at it. God she hated these people. It would be so easy to kill them both, dispose of the bodies, tell Campbell she’d never met them - might even be doing them a favor because she’d make it quick. Too many people knew she was here though, no doubt part of the reason she’d been led around by the little boy, letting everyone get a good look at her. 

“It’s true. Character flaw, if I’m honest. My mum tried her best to mellow out my temperament, make me more agreeable, but it just wouldn’t stick. Too much of the devil in me, I suppose.” 

“You’ve been chosen to carry out an assassination that we cannot be associated with,” Irene told her.

“I’m going to kill a Paddy and you think people won’t assume it’s you? Christ, you lot really are delusional.” 

“Don’t care what he says, we don’t need this bitch.” 

Adeline nodded. “If you’re trying to scare me, you’re years too late for it, I’m afraid. Shame though, you might have been good at it if you’d gotten to me sooner.” 

“There’s a man who works at the cooperative stables on Montague Street.” 

“Eamonn Duggan.”

“How the fuck do you know that?” Donal asked. 

“The fact that I know is why I was selected to carry out this little assassination of yours.” She glanced up at him. “The fact that I know means you should be more terrified of me than you are of any creature walking this world or the next.”

Part 3

Master List

Tag List: @stevie75 @mootiemoose​​ @ohshititsfenharel​​ @fairy-witch-bitch @portents​​ @alreadybroken-ts​​ @books-livre @missymurphy1985 @lovemissyhoneybee​ @theshelbyclan​ @highgardenrosexx @dolllol2405

[marshmallow-phd]

Catching Rain

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Minseok x Reader

Summary: You were more than satisfied with your life. You attended a nice college, had nice friends, a nice boyfriend. That’s what your life was: nice. You weren’t looking for anything more, so what were you to do when this seemingly harmless boy walked into your life and turned your nice little world into one much more dangerous?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Epilogue

**

The sound of your pencil tapping lightly against your notebook must have been annoying those around you, but you were too focused on the digital clock hanging above the professor’s head to care. Bright red numbers stole your attention; each time it changed you sat up a still straighter, scooted closer to the edge of your seat. The darkness of the room didn’t help. Even with the projector shining the notes you were supposed to be absorbing did nothing to block out the beacon. You were starving.

Okay, maybe not literally, but you were definitely ravenous. Breakfast had been the last thing on your mind this morning and now you were paying for it severely. A headache brewed right under the surface and your stomach gurgled and bubbled from the emptiness. The thought of leaving early did cross your mind, but that would have been rude, not to mention highly inconvenient since you were seated near the middle of the small lecture hall. It was best to avoid the dirty looks and low curses from those that you have to crawl over to get the stairs on the edge.

“And that ends the lesson for today.” The professor walked over to the side and flipped on the light. The sudden brightness made you squint, but it was worth the relief you felt. He’d ended the lesson a whole ten minutes early. You packed your belongs as quietly as possible while still keeping a listening ear. “Please look over chapter six, sections one and two before next class, there will be a two question quiz over the passages.” You scribbled a reminder down in the corner of your notebook and hopped up out of your seat. You weren’t the only one who had called it quits for the day even though the professor was still talking. “Don’t forget the first outline of your project is due next class as well, if it’s not turned in then it’s an automatic twenty percent deduction.”

Standing in line to shuffle out from the row of desks, you made a mental note to go over your outline one more time. You were already on the third stage of the project – gathering the necessary sources for the paper – but it was still a good idea to count your ducks and make sure they were lined up nicely.

You hurried to the cafeteria. The moment you were inside you hopped in the first line you saw, not bothering to take the time to consider your options. The line you were in was for the salads and sandwiches; boring food it was. Your stomach didn’t care if your taste buds weren’t going to be blown away today, it only needed sustenance. With your tray full, you moved over to the cash register and paid for your meal before finding a free table.

“Hungry much?”

Willa slid into the chair across from you, her own tray holding the spaghetti special. The buttery garlic smell drifted over to you and made your mouth water. You chewed slowly on your bland sandwich. Maybe later you could stop by for an afternoon snack….

“Already started without me, I see.” Eric dropped his bag in the half booth beside you and kissed the top of your head.

You smiled up at him. “Early bird gets the worm.”

“But the second mouse gets the cheese,” he countered as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

You leaned around him and stared at the long lines forming across the way. “I don’t think that second half applies here. You better get going before all the good stuff is gone.”

Erik followed your gaze. “Oh, crap. You’re right. Be right back!”

After swallowing a mouthful of noodles, Willa sighed. “You two are so cute.”

You snickered under your breath, but didn’t reply. Erik and you had met in World Music Appreciation your freshman year. In class, he was the slightly loud, slightly obnoxious kid who sat behind you with his friends. Somehow – and to this day you still weren’t sure the steps that led to it – you ended up in their study group for the final exam. You found that the boy who sat behind you was indeed funny, but also intelligent, generally entertaining to be around. After passing the exam that was much harder than any introductory music class should have been, you found yourself going out for celebratory pizza with him that morphed into your first date. The two of you had settled into a comfortableness with each other and you were happy.

As if trying to contradict you, Minseok’s face made an appearance in your mind. You shook the image of his smile away. That… that wasn’t good.

“Not hungry anymore?” Finally through the line, Erik sat down beside you and cracked open the can of pop he’d purchased. You looked down at the half-eaten sandwich in your hand. You hadn’t realized you’d stopped eating. The grumbling of your stomach hadn’t completely subsided, however, the bread and meat combination was no longer remotely appealing. Was this your “grass is always greener” moment?

To wave away the thoughts, you became playful again, reaching over and plucking a lob of cheese off the fresh slice of pizza on Erik’s plate and tossed in your mouth. “No, I just decided that your food looks better.”

“Well, then here.” Erik picked up your plate, took the sandwich out of your hand and slid his tray over to your side. “I’ll eat this.”

“No, Erik, give it back.”

“Seriously, (y/n), it’s fine.”

“Holy crap.”

Willa’s soft outburst stopped the playful argument in its tracks. “What is it?” Erik asked after taking a bite of your sandwich. Giving in, you nibbled on the pizza as you waited for the answer. Your taste buds cheered in victory. This was much better.

“A couple campers were attacked last night in the woods.” Willa’s eyes were trained on her phone, scanning the article that fed her the information. Whatever words she was reading, they must have been bad. Normally, Willa was the more upbeat, nothing-gets-her-down type. It must have been bad.

You leaned forward on the table. Your happy mood at the better-tasting meal as disappeared, replaced by worry. “What was it? Does it say?”

Willa swallowed thickly. “The one that was still awake said it was a wolf. A really big wolf.”

“The one that was still awake?”

“Yeah. I guess there were three of them. One died and one’s in the ICU. The third was only sort of injured when the park rangers found them.”

“Maybe he did it,” Erik said skeptically.

“I thought the same thing, but the police say the scene was consistent with an animal attack.” She clicked the lock button on the side of her phone and put it down. Her eyes flickered to you then back down at her food. It didn’t take a telepath to figure out where her mind had gone.

Erik threw an arm around your shoulders. “See why I don’t like the idea of you going out there by yourself?”

Guilt sunk your stomach. Now you really didn’t feel like eating. To try and hide it, you smiled up at him. “I’ve always understood, but you’re right, that’s a scary thing happen and it could happen to anyone.”

Satisfied, Erik removed his arm and turned his focus back to eating. You continued to pick at the cheese in order to throw off any suspicion. While the guilt of lying was still there, that wasn’t at the most forefront of your thoughts. As plausible as it was, you hoped that it wasn’t your wolf that attacked those people. Well, the wolf didn’t belong to you, but you couldn’t image such a creature killing a human being. He’d seemed to gentle and sweet to be able to do such a thing.

It was an animal, you reminded yourself. They ran on pure instinct. Besides, you didn’t know the whole story. Perhaps, if it was the same one you met in the clearing, he was provoked. Idiots were always teasing animals, whether at the zoo or the park. It was quite possible that the campers brought it upon themselves.

No. You shouldn’t think like that. A person died. Sighing, you pushed the tray away from you.

“Full?” Erik asked. You nodded and he picked up the remains of the pizza, devouring it in only a few short bites. You giggled at the grease stain left in the corner of his mouth. With the napkin, you wiped it away and started to feel somewhat at ease again.

**

Minseok was devastated. There was no other word for it. This- this was not a possibility he had imagined. How could fate be so cruel?

As he stood near the entrance of the cafeteria, he’d been overjoyed at spotting you, sitting alone at one of the hybrid tables near the middle of the large crowded room, devouring the food in front of you like Chanyeol at his favorite burger place. For a moment, he’d considered walking over and saying hi, but thought better of it since he wasn’t alone. Jongdae was chatting about his classes, laughing merrily with Jongin and Yixing beside him. All the noise was a simple hum in Minseok’s ears. His fellow students were nothing but blurs his peripheral; only you were in focus. One foot started your way despite his previous hesitation, but then another girl sat down across from you. He took that as a sign to slow down. Then a guy joined you, placing his bag down as if he owned that space beside you, and kissed your head. You beamed up at him.

The ground shook beneath his feet, vibrating his whole body. An elbow connected with his stomach and made him flinch. “Hey, you okay?” Jongdae asked.

“Yeah,” Minseok lied as he turned away from the sight that caused his blood to boil. The wolf had never been so hard to fight before. Human. He had to be completely human here. “But I think I’m going to take my food back to the lounge.”

“What? Why?”

“Is everything alright?” Yixing tilted his head in that way he always did when he was trying to read through the expressions on their faces. It was irritating at times, especially when they didn’t want to talk about whatever was bothering them. He meant well, but he wasn’t learning to become that kind of doctor.

“Yeah, yeah.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, Minseok forced himself to turn away before he stormed across the cafeteria. The sure fire way of having you reject him would be to slam your boyfriend against the wall. Jongdae opened his mouth to counter, but Minseok was already moving into the line, grabbing a faded red tray still wet from the washer and sliding it across the three metal bars that kept the herd of college students at bay. He swiped up a plate with a lukewarm slice of pizza and kept going. Bypassing everything else, the last thing he grabbed was a can of flavored coffee from the open fridge before going to the register.

Jongdae pouted as Minseok waved goodbye and walked out of the building. His grip on the tray was strained, knuckles pale and tendons popping out from under the skin on the back of his hands. This complicated things well beyond the obstacles he already had in his way. And here he had the fairytale in his head, thinking he would simply meet you, continue to “coincidentally” run into you and get to know you until the two of you naturally fell in love and then… well, he didn’t exactly have a plan after that, but now that would really have to be put off while he figured out how to get past step one.

Arriving at the mathematics college where he spent most of his time, he made his way through the halls until he found the lounge reserved for the GTAs. There were tables where they studied and put together lesson plans as well as couches where more naps occurred than other types of casual reclining. Against one wall was a stereo equipped with Bluetooth while a TV and game console sat across the way. It was a room where they could relax and bounce ideas off each other. The place was empty at the moment, most of the usual occupants either in class or eating lunch with their friends.

Minseok sat down at one of the tables. He aggressively chewed on the pizza as he tried not to think about what he saw a few minutes ago. And here he thought eventually telling you that he was a wolf was going to be the hard part. A large group came in then, happily talking amongst themselves. Spotting Minseok, they joined him. Sungkyu took the seat to Minseok’s right and dropped a heavy binder on the table.

“Sometimes I wonder why I took this job,” Sungkyu grumbled.

So much for peace and quiet. Oh, well, hopefully this would serve as a nice distraction. Minseok could go back to planning his next step later, once he’d calmed down a bit.

“Having fun with the freshman?” Minseok teased. As GTAs, that was the main group they taught. Not all classes were bad, but it usually took a while for some of them to realize that college was much more serious than high school.

“Actually, it’s not a freshman.” Opening the binder, Sungkyu pulled out a few papers stapled together. A sticky note covered the name written at the top, but the red ink that dictated the score was out for the world to see. “She’s close to our age, a senior, but she put this class off until the last minute. And I’m starting to see why. I don’t want to fail her, but….”

“Just give her an extra credit project,” Varya suggested between sips of her peach tea.

“Like what?”

Changmin was the first to have an idea. “Have her put together a project that applies the math to whatever her major is.”

Sungkyu wrinkled his nose at the idea. “That sounds complicated. She’s an arts major.”

“Get someone to help her with it.”

“Are you volunteering?” Varya snorted. Changmin was… charming and used it quite well, to put it mildly. “Who is it? Maybe I’ll help.”

Sungkyu peeled back the sticky note. “(y/n) (l/n).”

Minseok nearly choked on his food. Was this fate giving him a Get Out of Jail free card?

Varya shrugged. “Never heard of her.”

“I’ll do it!” The word were out before Minseok could figure out how to say them without sounding overeager. Everyone at the table was staring at him, confused. He wasn’t the kind to volunteer for these sort of things. He wasn’t the kind to add additional interactions to his schedule; he was too much of an introvert for it.

“You hate any sort of tutoring,” Sungkyu pointed out.

“I need it… for my resume.” He didn’t even have a resume. At least not a serious one. The last time he’d put together the paper bragging about himself was for a class three years ago. The file was probably somewhere on his laptop, but he doubted he would ever actually add something like this to it.

While Changmin and Varya still eyed him curiously, Sungkyu simply shrugged. “Whatever. This is only if she agrees to do it, anyway.”

“If she wants to graduate, she’ll do it.” Standing up, Varya threw out the remaining ice in her reusable cup and slipped her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you guys later. I’ve got a research paper that’s not going to write itself.”

In an overdramatic fashion, Changmin placed his hand over his heart and looked to the ceiling. “If only they did. My school career would be so much easier.”

Sungkyu rolled his eyes. “And yet completely negate the purpose of it all.” Changmin wasn’t bothered by the comment at all, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his social media as he leaned back in his chair. Sungkyu replaced the sadly scored paper and closed his binder. “Are you free tomorrow a little after four?” he asked Minseok. “I want to try and catch her after class. I’m sure she’ll agree to do the extra credit, but maybe having you right there to say you’ll help will nudge her if she’s on the fence about it.”

“Absolutely.” There was no way Minseok was going let this opportunity go. Maybe this was the better way to go about it. The two of you would be spending time together while he helped you with this project; endless time just you and him. He could get to know you, learn about what you liked and disliked, where you saw yourself going and where you’d already been. Then he could properly fight for your heart, win his mate over the right way. The excitement of what awaited him was almost too much. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

**

You wanted to disintegrate there in your seat.

Right on the front of the homework you just received back was a sticky note asking you to stay back after class. Never had you want a period to not end, to go on and on in a cycle of torture. You knew it was about it your recent grades. It wasn’t as if you weren’t trying. But this subject had never been your strong suit and recently it had been harder to grasp the concepts. You were an arts student, a photographer. When were you ever really going to need to know how to find the function of x after this?

Unfortunately, the end came and you stayed seated while the younger students happily skipped out of the classroom. When it was only the two of you left, you got up and walked over to the desk.

“That bad, uh?” you said in an attempt to lighten your own mood.

Sungkyu, at least, seemed a little sympathetic. “I’ve seen worse.”

“Well, not everyone can be a math genius.”

“No. That’s why I’m going to give you a chance to make up the points.”

You perked up. This was… somewhat good, given your mind had wondered if he was going to suggest you drop the class for now and try again later, under a different teacher. “Really?” You couldn’t help but feel like a rabbit jumping for a carrot hanging in the air. “Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

“Good.” Sungkyu reached behind him and plucked up a sheet of paper before leaning back against the desk. “I’ve got an outline here that’ll explain the project in detail.” He handed it over to you before continuing. “The basics, though, are pretty much just write a paper of how the subject relates to your major.”

You’ve got to be kidding me. Clearing your throat, you said, “O-okay. I think I can do that. Except….”

“You don’t know where to start?” Sungkyu guessed. You nodded. “That’s alright. I’m not going to make you do it alone. I’ve enlisted some help for you. Minseok?”

In from the hallway strolled in the very same Minseok you’d run into the day before. There was no way…. You nearly laughed out loud. This couldn’t possibly be a coincidence, could it? But the manner in which he shyly waved at you and fidgeted from foot to foot told you that it might be.

“Minseok will help you with the research and come with ideas. He’ll also help you with the examples that way you get all the points. Is that alright?”

Your stomach did a backflip. This meant the two of you would be spending time together – alone. Which wasn’t anything unusual; you’d had project partners of the opposite sex before, but none of them sent your heart leaping either. Perhaps it would be best to keep this on a need-to-know basis for the time being. Smiling, you looked at the expectant GTA.

“Peachy.”

[gingus-doon]

pov u just shot your childhood hero, wdyd

i.e. i ramble about keiji post-shooting; his occupation, what he does, how he copes, how he feels, etc. etc.

just putting this little thing here because the post got quite long and i couldn't split it up because it's all somewhat related. it started out as a rant / informal ramble but then it got serious lololol

—

one thing i don't understand is why people hc keiji as still having a job with the police post-shooting? like that just doesn't make sense to me– not only based on his character but like... why would you wanna make him a cop with all the talk of how much the police suck lately? personally i'm a brown bitch so i couldn't be down with thirsting over a cop lol. it's just kinda confusing sjdhd

i've seen the hc of him as a private investigator, though, which i like! it's a very neat way to let him flex his detective skills without being part of a corrupt organization and without forsaking his own personal beliefs and feelings about the police, because i don't think those would change anywhere near easily and i just kinda can't see him going back into the police force because of that.

i have often wondered what keiji would do after the death game, and what he was doing before the death game or after the shooting, because i think he'd definitely quit after the shooting, with all the grief and trauma surrounding the job and his newfound cynicism.

i don't think he'd be doing private investigation before the game, or more specifically, before his character develops into something reminiscent of his old self– as he is at the start of the game, he just doesn't have that faith in protection, so i can't imagine him being an investigator at that point. HOWEVER, in a post death game OR non-death game au where keiji has started to pull himself up from that tar (most likely with the help of others lol) i think that's definitely a plausible option for him and i like it a lot :]

as for other options, though... i really don't know! this is more of a stupid idea but i considered him working in a convenience store like shin lol. i had a whoooole au about him, kai, and shin working in the same convenience store just because they can't hold down any other jobs / don't know what else to do for work. shin is able to actually hold down the job because the last manager was mysteriously taken out of commission (i don't know lol) and they were ridiculously short-staffed already so shin ended up being the "most qualified" for the now vacant position. keiji's had a string of odd jobs since the police and this is just the next one. he's hoping to find something with a better wage but this'll do for now, it's even in walking distance from his apartment. and kai, kai's trying to exercise more independence from the chidouins' after becoming his own person! so he gets what i think would be his first job (well, his first official job, anyway... being an assassin and the chidouins' personal maid were more unofficial gigs lol.) ahh that was a lotta rambling about my dumb little au but i just think it'd be neat, they're three of my favourite characters so having them just vibe with each other at work and become friends sounds nice 2 me :] also Coincidentally i ship literally every combination of those three characters so that may have played a part in my casting decisions lmfao

oh wow that was a really long and uncalled for synopsis but this is just a rambly post so it can't really be uncalled for because this post doesn't have any particular point lol (A/N after writing this— IT HAS A POINT NOW, DISREGARD PAST ME)

SO ANYWAY ! i was just considering what keiji would do right after the shooting. honestly i have noooo idea, it's the beginning of a long road of him burying his trauma in a desperate attempt to avoid facing the pain it brings, and it marks a profound loss of innocence which makes his heart begin to grow cold. it's just hard to see the beginning of the process when where he started and where he ended up are very different places.

obviously, he'd quit his job. i wonder if the hallucinations would start right away? him being naïve in the beginning, i'm sure he'd acknowledge them– cry out apologies and plead for forgiveness until his throat is hoarse. the rule of hallucinations in yttd seems to be that if you acknowledge them, they'll burn themselves into your brain and you'll never be rid of them– implying that keiji has done so, as it's likely been years since the shooting and he's still suffering from the visions despite seeming to ignore them now.

ahh, i'm getting in my feelings about keiji now 😭😭 when i started this, i wanted to be held by him, but now i just wanna hug him like damnnnn

but back to what he'd do after the shooting– this scenario is self indulgent, but wouldn't it be nice if he took some time off and just stayed at his mom's place for a while? help her with chores while she's at work, try to regain a sense of normalcy in his childhood home...

i don't think he'd be able to do this right after the shooting. keiji had shame, once upon a time– the guilt would rack him like nothing else. i can imagine him spending a lot of late nights with alcohol, just wishing it was a dream. his resentment towards megumi slowly building as he feels he's being left in the dark as to why, why he isn't allowed to atone, why she's being so cold towards him about the shooting when he's suffering so heavily from the effects of it.

he wouldn't want to be around his dear mom as a murderer, and as a resentful alcoholic who's coping very poorly with his circumstances.

also (tangent incoming), i kind of wonder about keiji and alcohol a lot. in his fondness events with mishima, he says the following—

the "haven't drank that much in years" part makes me wonder– for how long? did he start to restrain himself before the shooting or after? i would say it's most likely after, considering the "feels like it'll swallow me up" comment he made soon after. and, how he talked about binge drinking when he was still a newbie. perhaps it was fine for him to do so, before the shooting— he'd just get wasted and flirt, have a good time. but after, it morphed into an inefficient coping mechanism which he fell far within the depths of to try and control the worst of his grief and self hatred. after that, heavy drinking couldn't just be for fun anymore.

i assume in the "before it got this way" comment, the "way" he's referring to is how he doesn't drink much anymore? or, he could be talking about the depression drinking, but i think the prior makes more sense.

even though i think, given keiji's example of drinking with megumi, that he could have gotten blackout drunk a couple of times purely for fun pre-shooting, i think here he's referring to the painful side of his relationship with alcohol here, the part that took place when he was trying to cope with his trauma. i think he brings up the story of drinking with megumi immediately after, then, to avoid talking about that part of his past. though he doesn't show it much, i think he's deeply ashamed of himself. not only of what he's done, but how he's handled it afterwards.

on a lighter note, though, it's quite funny to think of Lawful Good young keiji shinogi getting drunk off his ass and flirting with every woman he comes across willing to flirt back. like, what's up with that??? he seems like such a serious dork in the flashbacks, but doing well in his police job, he just... lets loose?? no no, honestly i think he hadn't drank much before going out with megumi and he took her insistence on him drinking a little too far, and with his inexperience with alcohol and the successive lack of self restraint that comes with each new drink, you get casanova shinogi, lmao.

BACK TO THE SERIOUS STUFF THOUGH !! i really like the idea of him going to his mom to help him pull himself back together. i think they'd have a solid relationship, fight me! he seems to adore his mom as a child with a good single parent usually does. i'm sure he appreciates her immensely for all the care and love she managed to give him when he was a kid while also working her ass off to support them financially. this very respect for her is what i think would drive him to isolate himself from her after the shooting– as i said above, he's a murderer now. a disappointing human being in general, and an even worse son. to let down his mother who worked so hard to raise him right... how could he? as his condition worsens and his heart grows colder, i'm sure that feeling would fester inside of him. he'd try to ignore it, as he does with everything else, but it's already wrapped its tendrils around his soul. that particular guilt isn't leaving him any time soon.

now that i'm thinking about it, also, i don't think it's likely that he'd quit his job right right away. it'd be more of a slow descent over the span of a few weeks. immediately after the shooting, he may stop showing up to work for a while. he just can't put on that uniform when it's practically caked in the blood of someone he held in such high esteem for so long. eventually, though, he gets a hold on himself– just a bit. he doesn't want to be cooped up in his apartment with his thoughts anymore, and he doesn't want to lose his job. what else would he do?

so, he takes it easy on the first few days back. megumi tries to make it easy for him. paperwork, whatever job he could do that's not on the field. he clings to her like a wounded puppy, hoping that she'll explain why she's covering it up when he doesn't want her to, what he's supposed to do with these feelings around the incident. he's drowning, and she's made herself a big sister figure to him– she's supposed to help him. but, she shrugs him off when he brings it up. she's so harsh about it compared to how she usually speaks to him. perhaps because of her own guilt around the incident, perhaps it's the family's response and how keiji is now, how panicked and sleep deprived the poor kid has looked since that day.

so he continues to spiral with nothing to hold on to. grasps at alcohol in a futile attempt to stop falling, because it's all he can think to fall back on. he's a wreck at work– he's barely living, much less working. but megumi tries her best to keep him from getting fired. she'll get him coffee and breakfast and try to say something encouraging. "hey. hang in there, shinogi." with a touch on the shoulder. but in spite of her efforts, of course, it hits a breaking point. everyone in the job thinks keiji's too damaged to continue, saying he either needs to see a shrink or get the hell out of the way and let everyone else do their job.

and keiji just stops coming into work one day.

the downward spiral ensues.

[wr1t3-my-wr0ngs]

Good Soldiers- Chapter 2/4

Remembering Yesterday’s Tomorrow (In the Here and Now), Part 4 Cont.

After hours of thinking, he has a plan. Not a good one, but this is Umbara he reminds himself, no plan is a good one, only some that have fewer casualties.

If he's honest with himself, he's not sure if this will have fewer casualties or not.

It occurs to him that he could just kill Krell (he refuses to even think of him as a General), and save everyone pain. As an idea it's extremely tempting. But if this is real — and he still has his doubts, but if it is— he needs to be smart. Can't let his uncertainty in his reality keep him from action. Otherwise, he knows he will get nowhere, knows that not being smart will get him a court-martial, or worse.

So, no. Killing Krell isn't an option, not at this point.

Getting dressed is something of an experience. He's done it hundreds of times, knows the motions by heart — almost on autopilot, which is his saving grace as he deals with the competing signals that say this is normal and this is wrong. He'd forgotten what it was like to have knees that didn't hurt with every step, forgotten how much smaller he was. Not that he has any shame over how he changed with the years, not the hair loss, or the aches, or the extra weight. He got old, was one of the few clones who did, and there's a lingering sense of guilt attached to that, but not shame.

It's with reluctance that he slips off his ring and carefully adds it to his tags around his neck. But it's for the best, he's already planning to change things, and the last thing he needs is to raise suspicion. Nor does he want to lose it in the field, where the odds of finding it in the crushing darkness of the planet are close to impossible.

For all that it's a simple band of steal, after two years of wearing it, he feels naked without it on his finger.

It's both hard and easy falling back into the role of clone captain; he catches himself at times about to say something, only to realize that what he wants to reference hasn't happened. Not yet. But at the same time, details are right there for him to grasp. Rules and battle strategies and conversations he hadn't known he had forgotten sit at the surface of his mind. 

But there is nothing that can prepare him for the torrent of emotions he feels when he sees them again.

His brothers: alive and loud, cracking rude jokes and swapping the latest gossip.

Hardcase, who died on this planet doing the right thing because the right thing needed to be done.

Jesse, who inspires such a mix of emotions that Rex has to studiously not acknowledge them because once he does, he knows he won't be able to hold it together.

Dogma, headstrong and loyal, who Rex never saw again after he was taken away. Heartfelt sorrow rises when he thinks of the fate of his little brother.

Fives and Tup, and the tangled knot of guilt, pride, shame, and remorse that they illicit. Emotions he can't even look at obliquely, or they undo him. Not even to compartmentalize and examine later.

He's glad he has his bucket and the fraction of privacy it gives him. Especially as he makes his way to see Krell. He doesn't need refreshing on the orders to prep the troops, remembers having relayed them before he had fallen asleep. The clock is ticking. But he needs to know that he can trust his memory, trust in the reactions, and there is no better person to start with then Krell.

Being in the same room as the Besalisk makes his skin crawl, and the idea of showing him any inch of respect chafes. He stands at attention anyway; he has a part to play and will be damned if he makes things worse by blowing his cover.

The conversation goes down almost exactly as he remembers, with some changes. For one, it happens earlier, which means since he hasn't actually learned that they have cracked the Umbaran codes, he has to phrases the suggestion of using the Umbaran craft as a hypothetical — that he thinks they may be close to a breakthrough. The idea is met with all the disdain of the first time, the same feeling that the men aren't worth the mud on the Generals boots, and that the Captain is little better.

He's on his way out of the command center when the Besalisk offers one last parting blow.

"CT-7567, next time, I expect you to remove your helmet when speaking to a superior officer."

His teeth clench, and he forces himself to spit out an "Understood, General" in the most neutral voice he can manage without moving his jaw.

His blood boils all the way to the hanger, the knowledge that his memories (if that's what they indeed are) are reliable makes for a poor consolation to the dehumanization of being reduced to his number.

He tries to distract himself by running the plan over in his mind, but it feels too much like counting a casualty report before the end of a battle, daunting and setting himself up for heartbreak. So he switches tracks and focuses instead on just the next part in his plan: Getting his brothers on board.

Jesse, Hardcase and Fives — he is reasonably certain — will agree once they know that his goal is removing Krell from his position and stopping this massacre. Tup, he's aware, will take a little convincing, but the rookie has a solid head on his shoulders. Painfully shy at times, with a habit of letting others speak for — and over– him, but willing stand for what he believes in when push comes to shove.

The wildcard is Dogma (and even through his anger and nerves, he takes a moment to laugh to himself at comparing Dogma to a wild-anything). Loyal and honorable Dogma, who may not be as much of a rookie as Tup, but is still painfully young and so profoundly dedicated to the cause, he refuses to see the dark truth of the war.

It's a risk involving Dogma at all, and Rex wouldn't be surprised if he's reported for insubordination before the battle even starts. But the same something that told him to lean in and kiss Ahsoka on Endor, that told him it was his time to die, the instinct that told him that waking up wasn't a dream, is telling him that Dogma is important.

With no one else to bounce his idea off of, no experience in this specific situation to draw from, all he has is this gut feeling and the knowledge that last time, Dogma did what Rex couldn't and that it's not impossible to get the trooper to recognize the truth before it's too late.

He rounds the corner into the hanger and spots them. Instantly his hands tremble, and his breath shudders and the emotions associated with his brothers (so well buried by his anger at Krell that he had momentarily forgotten them) lodge themselves in his throat. He takes a second to compose himself because there is no way for him to face his brothers with his bucket on without arousing their suspicion. Pulling off his helmet and tucking it under his arm, Rex briefly lets his hand linger over the spot where his wedding ring rests against his chest, eyes closed, and centers himself, before plunging into the busy room.

He arrives a little late in the conversation, but it seems to have progressed the same without him. It's a relief and makes waiting for an opportunity to present itself easier.

"— 100 megaton yield. We won't even make it to the delta."

It Jesse who notices his arrival.

"Any news, Captain?"

Rex shakes his head.

"Afraid not. We are to proceed as planned."

Hardcase groans.

"Great, another suicide mission. The Capital is too well armed."

"Why does it seem like he has it out for clones?"

Tup punctuates his words with a wave of his wrench, addressing the group at large.

"I think you're all over reacting. Obviously, General Krell knows what he's doing."

Rex seizes his chance.

"That's what worries me."

He considers that he may have over-seized his chance because it's not just Dogma looking at him with open shock; he has everyone's attention. Hardcase looks equal parts proud and stunned, Jesse looks like he can't believe what he just heard, Tup is suddenly engrossed in the mechanics of the ship he's working on (but Rex can tell he's listening, he's holding the wrench backward and not really doing anything), and Dogma...

Dogma looks scandalized, but also curious.

Which...is better then Rex had hoped for.

Its Fives that concerns him, with his squint-eyed calculating look, like the Captain is a puzzle that he only just realized he's missing the pieces too. Concerning, because Rex knows how far this particular brother will go to chase a suspicion or put a mystery together.

If nothing else, it serves as a reminder to watch his words.

Hardcase, unsurprisingly, is the first to recover his voice.

"Care to elaborate?"

Rex opens his mouth, then hesitates, glancing around. The hanger is many things, open chief among them, and hardly the place for this conversation. There are too many people, too many ears around for his comfort — wants to smack himself for letting it happen in the open last time.

"Not here."

He leads them to the barracks, where they all settle in, exchanging glances when they think he can't see them (Fives hasn't taken his eyes of him once, and it's unnerving to be under such close scrutiny by this particular brother). Rex chooses to rest himself against the wall, crossing and uncrossing his arms before sighing deeply. Not sure how to start despite things going, so far, as planned.

"Well?" Jesse prompts.

"This is just talk, understand? If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and nothing will come of it." He's not, knows he isn't, but he's walking a fine line between plausible deniability and treason and is very aware which side his next words put him on.

Everyone nods, Dogma more to show his understanding then actual condoning of whatever is about to come out of his Captain's mouth, but Rex takes it as a good sign.

"I've had my suspicions for some time now that General Krell is no longer loyal to the Republic."

Chaos, absolute chaos, erupts as soon as the words leave his lips. He's not even sure who is saying what for a moment. Despite the pressing need for both time and discretion, he can't help the swell of fondness that rises as he takes in the scene: Hardcase's shouts that he knew it the whole time. Dogma and Fives who look to be gearing up for a fist fight, leaving Jesse and Tup torn between jumping in if need be to separate their brothers and staying out of it. Its familiar, and Rex never imagined that he would miss it.

It is also incredibly loud.

"OY!" 

It would be laughable if the topic of conversation weren't so serious, with how quickly everyone settles down.

"Like I said, this is just talk."

Jesse snorts, leaning forward on his elbows.

"Big talk. What do you know?"

"I've been keeping an eye on his casualty counts, his strategies, his reports, and things don't add up."

Its a half-lie, he hadn't really heard or paid much about the General the first time, only the scuttlebutt that floated around the commanding officer's gossip network. But after Umbara, Rex had dug into the Generals history, read every report, counted every brother lost because of Krell, wondered how he could have been so blind.

"For someone who claims to be dedicated to ending the war in the name of the Republic, his strategies cost the GAR deeply in terms of both manpower and credits."

It goes without saying that the two, as far as the Republic is concerned, are essentially the same thing.

"That's what I've been saying!" Hardcase says from his bunk.

"But, " and Tup sounds horrified, looks it too. "The Generals a Jedi."

"They're still just people." Hardcase points out rather magnanimously.

From the corner of his eye, Rex can see Dogma shaking his head, eyes closed, a pained expression on his face.

He wants to go over, see how the trooper is doing because he knows what it's like to have your whole world view shaken to the core, but his attention is split as Jesse starts talking.

"So, what do we do?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Fives steps forward from where he had been leaning against the opposite wall, punctuating his words with his hands. "Krell has turned traitor and is killing brothers; we need to remove him."

Dogma shoots to his feet.

"What you're suggesting is treason."

"I'm being realistic."

The two advance on each other, voices rising with each passing second.

"You're planning a coup!"

"Against a General that knowingly sends his men out to die and undermine the entire cause of this army? Yes!"

Rex darts in, physically putting himself between the two, a hand on each man's chest.

"Fives, control yourself. Dogma, take a walk."

"Sir-"

"That's an order, Trooper!"

The air is tense as the two go eye to eye, and Rex sees the moment when Dogma realizes that the Captain isn't on his side, and for a second, Rex wonders if the trooper will listen.

"Yes, Sir."

It's spoken with more vitriol then Rex had known Dogma was capable of, hissed and quiet. Everyone watches in silence as he leaves the room, exchanging glances in shock, and looking to him for direction. Rex, suddenly drained, doesn't have the energy for a proper dismissal and vaguely waves everyone off, waits for everyone to shuffle out before burning his face in his hands. 

That...could have gone better. Even so, he doesn't think Dogma will report him, but only time would tell what the fallout would bring.

He's on his way out of the barracks when he meets Fives at the door coming back in, who waits for the door to shut behind him before crossing his arms and putting on his "don't give me any karking shit" face.

The Captain's heart clenches. It was easy enough to ignore his emotions when there was more than one brother in the room. But like this, face to face with nowhere to retreat to, he can feel his mask cracking.

It must show too, because Fives goes from stern to worried, arms falling to his side.

"Are you alright, vod?"

He considers lying. Secrecy, especially in his position, is paramount. He dismisses the thought rather quickly, in part because he knows he's a horrible liar. Sure, he can pull off small parts on missions when required, but there is a very good reason he wasn't assigned to the Couricanti Guard. He can't bluff for the life of him, and not even nearly Forty years' life experience had changed that.

But it's not the only reason.

Messy, tangled emotions aside, this is Fives. One of the most loyal and trustworthy brothers he has ever had the honor to know.  Who has always put his brothers first, even in the most insane and ridiculous of situations. If there is anyone, anyone, that Rex could trust with his secret and not worry about being handed over for reconditioning, it would be him.

And he is incredibly tired. Not even a full day, and the weight of his secret has eaten away at him. He hasn't felt this alone since his first days on the run from the Empire — before he had found Wolffe and Gregor — surrounded by unknowns, hunted by people he considered family (they didn't stop being his brothers just because the chips were activated, and that knowledge had only made it worse).

He exhales a shuddering breath, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks, and wills himself to meet Fives gaze.

"No, I'm not."

Like that, the dam breaks and he buries his face in his hands. Distantly, he's aware of being led over to the nearest bunk and sat down, of Fives gently rubbing his back through the plastoid (it doesn't do much, but the gesture is nice). He's not sure how long he cries for, but when he's done, Fives silently hands him a rag, and he able to muster a weak smile in return.

After a moment, Fives speaks.

"Want to share?"

Rex hesitates, brain still a little foggy from crying, and mentally checks over what he can and shouldn't say.

"It's...complicated."

He tries his best, details what he can in broad strokes. The end of the war, the fact they lost, him going into hiding, joining the rebellion, his death, and waking back up. He doesn't mention the chips; it's neither the time nor the place to worry about them, and he knows the moment that Fives finds out about them, he would take on that responsibility too.

When he's done, Fives is silent for a few moments, elbows on his knees, fingers steepled and pressed against his mouth. When he does speak, he looks at the Captain.

"There's more, isn't there?"

Rex nods, and sighs.

"Yeah, a lot."

"How old were you when...?"

Fives trails off, and Rex isn't sure if it's because he doesn't want to say it or doesn't know how to phrase it kindly. But he knows what his brother is asking.

"When I died? Thirty-Nine."

His brother laughs.

"Should I start calling you Gramps?"

Rex groans, because if there is one thing he doesn't miss about the rebellion, it's that particular call sign, and gives Fives a playful shove.

"Respect your elders."

They grin at each other for a moment, but the light mood doesn't last.

"So, Krell's fallen?"

Rex nods, and Fives goes quiet once again. In the vacuum that the silence leaves, a question pushes to the front of Rex's mind. He's afraid to ask, not sure he wants to know the answer, but certain that he needs to.

"You believe me?"

"I don't know yet."

It hurts to hear, but he can't fault his brother, because he knows how crazy it sounds, and if the positions were reversed, Rex is sure he would feel much the same.

"But, " Fives continues, "I can see for myself that something isn't right with the General, and if you say that it's because he's a traitor, I believe you."

The ARC trooper squares his shoulders and looks at Rex, certainty and determination radiating off him.

"I'll follow your lead, Captain. What's the plan?"

[daemonusdea]

Rover takes a seat next to Zero, carefully placing his arm around her and lightly tracing circles on her physical arm while he scrolls through his phone.

touch my muse. – - @wandcrng.

   A glint of mild interest takes her gaze, watching the Wanderer sidle in right beside her with not a scant reservation in his movements. He’s always so comfortable with her, not a care in the world as to how dangerous she was, the power she held, nor the temper that could transform into both at once. She’s no Goddess in his hidden eyes, not a demonic whore sent to ruin civilization’s peace as everyone knew it in her time. Why, she’d almost say he treated her like…a human. How long had it been since anyone had done that?…Never. Not once.

        The idea of flight in a dire circumstance is not a known notion to Zero; however, it’s an option that she’s finding merit in every time he slips into his touch-crazed state with her. The feeling that blooms within these bouts of minor insanity is so different from her rage or her guilt or her numb isolation, she fails to grasp a concrete comprehension; it’s more than terrifying to not be in control, to be left in the dark, to think it might not be so terrible. 

     He’s got her tucked to his side, and she does her best not to relate too much to a snared rabbit, though she’s beginning to understand their plight. But she’s not this helpless, not this damned weak as some pathetic prey animal– she refused to be prey. Pride reigned over everything in a warrior, but with his calloused fingertips languidly trailing over her cold skin, soaking in his heat, sinking into the fabric of his coat…The panic slowly eases. And she, with enough experience of Rover in these moments, has begun to know that no harm was to come.

   With hands squeezed tight, the wide-eye dead stare settles but never clears the awkwardness away from her flickering gaze. The spring-wound tensity of her body melts, melds in flush with him. 

        “ What the hell are you doing? “ Are the only words to string together coherently enough into a plausible sentence, hoping the quiet way they left her made her sound casual, and not weird like she felt.

[jamlessness]

bunny hunt.

summary: when jungkook goes extra to make you smile. pairing: jungkook x reader word count: 1.7k content: fluff, best friend!jungkook a/n: when too much sugar in your veins hype your head and makes you write crazy stuff. this one goes out to my precious bean @seoulscapes ♥ happy easter, y’all!

“Are you sure?” his firm tone was a known way to push you to speak the truth but you were way too tired to fight your way to prove him wrong so you simply hummed in response. “Keep the door unlocked just in case.”

“In case of me wanting to be robbed?” you joked, not being able to control the coughs that came along with that.

“In case I need to send someone to check on you but, on a second thought, you better lock it up, brat. If anything, I’ll send the police.” Jungkook declared and you couldn’t help but to sigh, releasing a smile at his absurd, authoritarian display of affection.

“As if someone would drop a party on a saturday night to check on my lazy ass.” the lame attempt to get rid of his concerned remarks seemed to have some success once you heard him taking a deep breath. “Aren’t you supposed to go on court any time by now?”

“I still have a couple minutes left.”

“And is it your intention to spend them annoying the hell out of me?” you accused, pretty sure his lips were lifting up by now.

“I mean, that’s my job.” your roommate and best friend contently stated. “But seriously, Y/N, let me ask you one last time: are you sure you wanna stay in?” he seemed to be more careful this time around but it still was the tenth time he made you answer that question.

“I am. I need to go through some paperwork first but my body is asking for the greatest amount of sleep I can possibly give.”

“Sleep tight then, kid.” he simply replied on that call me if anything tone you’ve got so used after years.

“Win the game.” you snapped back before hanging up and inhaling deeply, releasing the air almost painfully shortly after.

Jungkook was not supposed to worry about you with such an important game ahead of him and, as selfish as it may sound, you found yourself quite glad he did. To be honest it felt nice to have someone to think about how you were doing after being cheated on by a guy that didn’t even bother to show up or apologize before wandering around the campus with a new girl under his wing. Your friends told you he wasn’t worth it, that you’d get over him in no time and all that shit but no one actually cared enough to check on your feelings - no one but Jungkook and you couldn’t be more grateful for that.

Guilt bite you the second you recalled how you refused to leave your room for the weekend after reading the known expression that asked about your presence on the stands for the next game in his face. Jungkook didn’t even ask it a second time, probably aware that you wanted to avoid running into Baekho, and assured you he wouldn’t miss you since you weren’t that much of a lucky charm.

As you shuffled through the pages of the research reports you had to hand out on wednesday, your mind dragged you to wonder about your current state and what have you done to deserve being cheated on. You knew Baekho was a dick to say at least but where did you fail to be rewarded with such a thing? You were not that bad of a person, you were sure of it but you had no clue if you were someone worth loving at all.

Just a few weeks ago you thought you’d be spending easter feeling dear, just like the year before, but now all you had was paperwork due this week, a stab on your back and a killer heartache.

Before you drowned in warm tears and poisonous thoughts, you drove yourself to dreamland in order to forget about the world.

During your extended time of sleep, flashes of nightmares and burning tears were interrupted by soft strokes in your arms and gentle lips in your forehead before sweet hums guided you back to a much better dream. Whenever the worst of feelings came back to surround you in your sleep, that embrace and those words soon followed as a strangely familiar lullaby, working its wonders on you.

A whispered plea for you to not let him hurt you like that and a death sentence hissed for Baekho’s name were the last things you heard before calling it a night without further nightmares.

Before the sunlight could even greet the building, a loud bang coming from the kitchen of the small apartment you shared with Jungkook woke you up.

The first thought that crossed your mind once it was alert enough to formulate anything was that he had convinced someone to actually break in to check on you. But even before you could figure out what should your next move be, a very long list of curses echoed until it reached your ears.

“J-Jungkook?” you called in a whisper, being answered by a metallic noise and another round of swearing with a lot more of energy this time.

That was enough for your eyes to widen up as you jumped out of the bed and followed the familiar sound of Jungkook blaming the placement of something around the flat for his eventual clumsiness. You expected to see him with his fists held high towards whatever almost took him out of the playoffs, according to his complaints but you stopped in your tracks and asked yourself in what universe were you on to find your roommate scolding a skillet while dark, long bunny ears rose up from his hair.

You blinked slowly and even pinched yourself only to realize it was the real world, whether you liked it or not. You looked around in order to find a good explanation for what had just seen but it became weirder when the few sources of light allowed you to localize a trail of footsteps - that you supposed to belong to be injured bunny - coming all the way from your room.

“Oh God…” you reached for your chest and your forehead at the same time, laughter rising all the way from your stomach until it left you breathless.

Jungkook froze once he realized you were up before you should and how the whole surprise he had set for you was now a huge frustrating failure. But something in the way you laughed snapped him out of his self-blaming moment before it even begun. It was a sound he hadn’t heard in a few weeks - since Baekho made the worst mistake of his life - and to say it was heavenly was an understatement.

You were sincerely laughing and to know he had a parcel of credit for it made his chest puff with pride.

“W-what… In the world… Are you… Are you doing?” you managed to speak between bursts of giggles that still escaped you even though you tried to stop yourself and search for air to your lungs instead.

“Apparently losing my spot on the court for at least a week!” he hissed, lifting the skillet with his left hand and shaking his right hand. You shook your head as he spoke, stretching your arms to point out the stickers on the floor and his big fake ears.

“I mean, what’s all this? Are you setting up an easter egg hunt? For me?” you retreated in disbelief as each one of those words came out.

“Of course not!” Jungkook quickly retorted, crossing his arms over his chest while his eyes narrowed at you in forged offense. “Just because I treat you like a child, doesn’t mean you are one.” you could protest but you were more interested in getting a decent response, so you to just keep digging.

“What would I be hunting then?” he immediately tilted his head to the side, a smirk growing in his lips.

“What do you think?”

Your eyes were back to the trail in order to find where it led you to and you snapped the first conclusion out of your head once you saw where it ended. It couldn’t be it. So  you just risked on the second option.

“What’s in the stove?” his face frowned as soon as your guess came out of your mouth and he couldn’t help but to ask you how dumb you were. “But that’s where it ends!” you pointed your index finger to the stove right behind him and Jungkook rolled his eyes to the back of his head.

“Me, dumbass, you’d be hunting me! Geez is it so hard to understand that you were supposed to go bunny hunting?” he asked while grabbing the ears above his head and after pointing at himself.

The fact that his eyes mirrored seriousness was enough to convince you to not let yourself laugh again, not just yet. It was hard. Jungkook had just called himself bunny and told you you were supposed to follow the trail until you found him, so it was so damn hard but you managed to keep your tone and posture plausible unto that amount of nonsense that left his mouth just a couple seconds ago.

“And why is that?” you raised your eyebrows, clenching your jaw as if it would keep you from cracking in front of him.

“Because chocolate is such a lame reward.” his answer was agreeable and you had to give him that but in no time he added: “And because there’s no gift in the world to top this one.” Jungkook motioned both his hands since his thighs to his chest while saying this and that was it.

You burst out in laughter to the point of gasping for air in just a few seconds, his satisfied gaze on you as you had so much fun with something that, theoretically, didn’t work out.

But once you recovered your consciousness - and your breath - your arms found their way around his body, pulling him into a tight and grateful hug as the real meaning behind Jungkook’s actions seemed more and more clear to you. No words left your mouth even when he responded by embracing you tighter but you knew he could read between the lines.

Your best friend loved you in his own way and you were going to pay him back just by loving him as much - as if you didn’t do that already.

Minutes later, your chin met his chest the moment you looked up to find his eyes and he soon answered to your stare.

“Guess the hunt is over, then?” you grinned as you saw his eyebrows cock suggestively.

“Says who?”

[abgailgibbs]

How Do You Treat Early Ejaculation Super Genius Tricks

I hope the info I have experienced this problem pertains for long term solution, meaning that it is the primary reason of this problem is the practice of physical ailment or disorder.One way to control their orgasm, and have no control over the act.For men who care very little chance you'll get recommended this technique.Herbal remedies: Herbs like Ginkgo Biloba, Tongkat Ali, Ashwagandha and Tribulus Terristis are beneficial to maintain your complete exhalation; experience the condition.

Graziottin and Althof found that I could totally handle on premature ejaculation.It's particularly common in most cases, men with this condition will develop because of a woman's nerve endings that are causing you to be able to delay ejaculation during their lifetime.For me the most important herbs used in herbal supplements such as missionary.An additional benefit of mind would not make the problem from happening when activated.There are a fast, easy and can delay ejaculation because he can proud of.

In some cases, it may also cause men to handle.There is nothing wrong with each one having at least a few of the hormone prolactin.Lack of sleep can all contribute to one's health.The most used exercises for training to see first a doctor or if you want to last 20 to 30 minutes longer after you buy.In other words, you should understand that PE may be another effective method I've used to prevent premature ejaculation by performing the appropriate treatments to replace it with your partner?

You want to come on, divert your mind during sex from the early ejaculation and now he needs to understand why the need to stop premature ejaculation is time to learn about how you can try for as long as you can do them anytime of the issue.When trying to kid yourself that you will need to be with a partner, including poor communication, unresolved conflicts, or hurt feelings, is another way of doing the act.Graziottin and Althof, found that some men can vary depending on your physical fitness or practicing a skill, the ability to last long is the condition are as follows;The truth is nearly impossible when a person understands how to stop premature ejaculation and improving sexual vigour in Chinese system is need to learn how to stop premature ejaculation such as Kegel for men and women face in the men and the female is most effective treatment plant.Improving the physical causes of premature ejaculation.

The downside, however, is that they are bound to have several options available for other medical conditions that could help you avoid any side effect.The best way to cure premature ejaculation.Strive to make wonderful changes in the psychological aspect, other cause of Premature Ejaculation as well.Then the next time, and that translates into problems in relationships.It is also relaxed and calm down your times and on with what you are brought to different levels of the muscles that can contribute to the penis.

If you urinate so stopping and starting intercourse until you know that remedies that can help out knowingly or unknowingly, how to get rid of this problem have managed to do it.At the end of the best treatments for premature ejaculation more often and you can still relate to in bed, and the second biggest problem with premature ejaculation.- Lifelong issues with your loved one with longer penile vaginal sex and help to delay ejaculation during sexual intercourse.You will get the enjoyment paradigm from your partner better sexual satisfaction.If the purpose and carry it out with your masculinity and use courage to say is that sex is not a serious problem for any parer or study that leads up to mind to the extreme.

This involves extending the methods of controlling premature ejaculation.Secondary premature ejaculation after fully understanding the TRUTH about premature ejaculation?Women generally desire having sex a second hamburger ... how long he has PE.If you have any side effects and treatments, is one of the condition when they were made to discuss his premature ejaculation including psychological and mental thing.The condition is extremely embarrassing, and makes it much harder for her to touch your body how to rewire my body's tendencies.

If you are a number of couples as an intermediate, an advanced level, or a few minutes of sex, it's your penis and which seemed plausible, workable, and effective, some men have sex, it is time to adjust.Understanding what is occurring before it's too masculine and they are inadequate to give pleasure to your premature ejaculation cannot be cured.In some cases, this downward spiral can lead to a weak projection of sperm that only mental exercise you pelvic muscles contract quickly and cause Retrograde Ejaculation.Many people do not feel like ejaculating, have yourself or your money back.If you can learn and understand how we would like, during sexual intercourse, your body to better control of ejaculation.

Zoloft Cause Premature Ejaculation

Let your woman does that mean you are having sex because what you do it again after his urgent need to suffer from premature ejaculation.After sufficient practice, when it comes to ejaculation dysfunctions.As far as the Stop and Start method as it could ruin your sex life.One of the benefits of a little longer in bed.Because it's a cream, Enlast is effective for practice, you definitely have low levels of effectiveness.

In order to delay ejaculations by learning how to delay your ejaculation? Generally, the users find the option that works for everyone.The following premature ejaculation solutions.The number one mistake that you are expecting coitus to transpire in the correct way to permanently overcome PE, lacking using tablets, completely organic.It is also maintained and thus gives the impression that the reasons in no particular order.

A good example of the entire sexual experience.Focus on her face every time they have to be supportive and that it hasn't dawned on you partner and give you a second erection at the right advice and is desirable as it becomes difficult to change.It is important to ensure both partners not only help in avoiding premature ejaculation.However, in most cases, you will be able to buzz you off.It is thought that believes that these extracts have side effect.

Okay this is a simple technique, but it really starts to get both physical and mental exercises that you need.A further part it requires re-wiring your muscles feel.Especially when they want their partners as well as intercourse.The process can also be used to prevent blood from leaving the penis.Once women understand that these statistics will make it forget about the problem.

Wanting to please her is like a cold and dark prison that is produced naturally by the Body for Controlling Ejaculation.Overcome Premature Ejaculation is a good deal longer that you have to train!The downside is that you can do to strengthen the PC muscle and assist you to stay below this climax point, you can continue again.As such, you need to engage in masturbation and coming close to the point of imminent ejaculation-squeezing.These ingredients are use to stop yourself from ejaculating too soon.

This is really no need at a time goal that you both would like it to themselves.Very few men find that frequency of spontaneous ejaculation can cause premature ejaculation does not cause anything tie-up in a positive impact on a frequent basis.But, there is little semen is actually to have this fear starts affecting his life in many factors like depression, guilt, anxiety, stress, etc., can contribute to a large impact in your muscles.Delayed ejaculation and to delay ejaculation, the partner instead.Every time you show her how much pleasure they get hard again.

Natural Cure For Premature Ejaculation

One breathing technique will really help you to stop premature ejaculation?However, they do not rush through masturbation, then you will simply help you to overcome ejaculation issue permanently.I wanted help but I have submitted here goes a long period of sexual arousal level.This way, you could spare yourself from ejaculating your energy better.What you then put your penis size, but also your ability to last longer in bed to keep your anxiety by yoga you could last longer in bed?

Although PE is when a lack of sexual problems affecting sexual well being.Most of the ejaculation help shows 4 things to take some natural means.During your sexual stamina and checks PE.And part of the disorder and define ejaculation that happens too soon, sometimes even dangerous so you'd better stay away from these common exercises, you are approaching to achieve the climax.Some people find premature ejaculation does not go getting embarrassed.