#guillotine for all you bitches

[alluralater]

america is the worst. bitches in the presidential cabinet are like “it’s okay if i do it!” but the topics are genocide and breaching their citizens privacy rights and forcing pregnancy upon their citizens and murdering children and creating military cities and missing 1.9 trillion dollars in the pentagon audits and killing indigenous people and funding nationalist propaganda through large movie franchises and—

[cielrouge]

tagged by @piyo-13 to make a poll of my top 5 characters and see who comes out on top and well....

Honorable Mentions: Mishil from Queen Seondeok (the OG baddie bitch antiheroine!!! Watching this sageuk as a kid literally alternated my brain chemistry hahaha), Emily Throne from Revenge (another OG antiheroine girlie I was frothing at the mouth over!!!) and Jem Carstairs from The Infernal Devices (the stranglehold this boi had on me during the heyday of the YA paranormal romance era LMAOOO)

Tagging @gyuseulogy, @selkiestars, @skadren, @whenquietthunders, @yukipri, and anyone else who wants to do this!

[atopvisenyashill]

ive read this one theory that the dagger prophesy used to be commonly known in the targ family… BEFORE maegor. after that they started keeping it a secret. as like a way to explain how jaehaerys wouldve known about it. wondering if you had any thoughts about that idea?

That actually makes some sense! We don't get the sense that Rhaena is particularly close to any of Jaehaerys and Alysanne's children despite her being alive and in Harrenhal for about two decades after the oldest trio is born, so that combined with her general hands off approach would make me think it's not impossible she'd follow Jaehaerys' lead and not talk about it anymore. And I can see Rhaenys, Aenys, and Visenya openly speaking about it to their children as well, and it sort of being part of the House Mythology similar to Daenys' dream of the Doom. Then Jaehaerys, who in general takes a much more secretive approach to leadership and magic specifically (not that this ultimately helps at all) wants to keep it quiet for whatever reason (to keep things calm, to not sow fear, whatever).

I do think it's perfectly in character for Aegon the Uncrowned to have told Rhaena just before he dies about it, and that Rhaena told Jaehaerys though. Especially given that Aegon the Uncrowned had yet to have his own son, and was so close to Rhaena, and she was so hysterical about him leaving to fight Maegor - perhaps he told her his reason was that if the Threat From The North comes, it can't be Maegor on the throne.

[oodlenoodleroodle]

Macron is such a piece of shit. -_- "the youth's are rioting because they play violent videogames" PEOPLE ARE RIOTING BECAUSE A COP SHOT A TEENAGER IN THE HEAD YOU ABSOLUTE GARBAGE SHIT AHDJEJAGAHDJDJE

To the protestors: keep going you're doing great

[cipheral]

I think tumblr people would try and eat me alive if I ever admitted how expensive some of my clothes are. You dont want to hear how expensive my boots were. You dont wanna know how expensive the lehenga i got for xmas was. Hell don't look at how expensive my cosplay stuff was. Im below poverty line. I just choose to spend spare money in places that I either have already invested in (cosplay), or on things that are important (durable boots)

[vulpinesaint]

you could make a hell of a hannibal edit to cheerleader by ashnikko. hannibal enjoyers worldwide please get on this immediately

[severalratstiedtogether]

i have to get more normal[physically shaking]

[agoodflyting]

Why Aziraphale is completely ridiculous in the Bastille scene (and I love him so much for it)

A while ago I posted a comparison of Aziraphale and Crowley's costumes in the 1793 flashback in Good Omens and I wanted to add these little tidbits. (Because they haunt me.)

I feel like most people know this but IF YOU DON'T, Paris in 1793 is right in the middle of something called La Terreur.

HISTORY LESSON If you didn't learn this in school the French Revolution was when, after years of escalating social tension, a coalition representing the working classes of France revolted against the monarchy, violently overthrew King Louis XVI, and declared France to be a republic.

The new National Convention governing France ruled that King Louis XVI and his wife Marie Antoinette were traitors to the people of France because of how they had spent ridiculous amounts of money on luxuries for themselves while vast numbers of the lower classes were literally starving to death. (keep the bold in mind - wealth and class disparities were one of the key causes of the whole-ass revolution)

In 1793 (year of the flashback) both the King and Queen were executed by guillotine for their crimes.

This kicks of something called The Reign of Terror (La Terreur if you want to be French about it). A multi-year-long period in which the National Convention goes on a bloody witch hunt for any and every member of the middle or upper classes who could even possibly be considered a traitor by those same standards.

If you A) had money or privilege, and B) had ever used your money or privilege to treat yourself, you were getting executed. Over 25,000 people died during the Reign of Terror, half of them by guillotine. In fact, the iconic guillotine was used because it was physically impossible to keep up with the sheer number of people they were executing in Paris every single day.

Some things that could get you killed (actually and completely seriously) during the Reign of Terror:

Implying in any way you were sympathetic to the monarchy

Having a noble title

Having expensive things

Wearing expensive, luxurious clothes (*cough* AZIRAPHALE)

helping or sympathizing with anyone who did any of the above

a working-class person saying you were mean to them once

And then there's this bitch...

I AM NOBILITY PLEASE KILL ME So we have established that Paris in 1793 is in the middle of a frenzied, state-sanctioned bloodbath in which the working classes are massacring everyone even remotely nobility-adjacent. And in the middle of this frenzy, Aziraphale proceeds to roll up in Paris in this outfit:

How will this outfit get him killed? Let me count the ways...

First off- at this point everyone with even the tiniest shred of self- preservation is hiding the fact that they are in any way associated with the monarchy. The wealthy are straight-up abandoning mansions. The middle-class are plastering over decorations to make their house look 'poor'. The only people dressed remotely decent are the guys leading the National Convention and that's just because nobody can stop them. Everyone else is in 24/7 peasant cosplay or else they are covering themselves in cockades and sashes on to show they're pro-Republic.

Aziraphale is basically a giant shiny white sign saying I AM NOBILITY PLEASE KILL ME.

First off the lace jabot and lace cuffs are both associated with the old-school wealthy in the 1790's.

His coat is also decorated in gold braid and silver buttons, which are both marks of wealth and luxury.

He basically looks like he works for Louis XIV - not just rich, but old school rich.

We know it's his natural hair color, but hair powdering (with clay and starch) had been a big trend with the rich all throughout the 18th century to get that clean white venerable look . To someone who doesn't know it's natural, it would very much look like he's wearing hair powder.

He's wearing shades of cream and white, which are very hard to keep clean and clearly states that the wearer is rich and can afford the upkeep necessary to keep an outfit like that stain-free.

He's wearing white knee-breeches and stockings, also called culottes. See above about laundry and how rich you had to be to wear white, but also working-class men wore long pants like this:

A large faction involved in the Revolution were the Sans-Culottes (no-culottes aka we wear long pants LIKE GOOD OLD WORKING MEN). Culottes are specifically associated with everything the revolution hated. That's right - Aziraphale is literally wearing The Fanciest of Fancy Pants in a city where a group called The Men Against Fancy Pants are running around murdering people.

And then there are his shoes.

Oh god his shoes

I could do a whole post about Aziraphale's blessed little white satin pumps and how ridiculous they are.

Actually I might just do that because this is getting so long and I still have to talk about the brioche.

So I can't remember if it's in the script book or if it's from Neil Gaiman's tumblr, but it's apparently canon (?) that Aziraphale was going around in that outfit asking people where he could get crepes and brioche when he was arrested.

The Affair of the Brioches

So... uh... we've all heard the line attributed to Marie Antoinette- how when she was told that her people were starving because there was no bread left in Paris, she famously said...

It's morphed into 'let them eat cake', but the line is first recorded as, "Then let them eat brioches."

While it's unlikely she ever actually said it, the important thing is that... people in 1793 would have thought she said it. It was used as political smear to show how arrogant and out of touch the monarchy was. Marie Antoinette in particular was reviled by the people of France, who thought she was the main cause of their economic problems. That's why she was executed too.

Bread and brioche and the lines between poverty and privilege were a big thing in Revolutionary France. There was a lot of political connotation to what you ate. The French Revolution came about because of decades of suffering among the lower classes of France. It wasn't something that some dudes just decided to do. The people of Paris have been through years of the absolute worst, most oppressive poverty and starvation you can imagine, all while watching the rich throw money around crazy.

So let us recap.

Aziraphale is dressed so ridiculously posh that he looks like a joke parody of a nobleman... and he is bumbling around Paris during the Reign of Terror. Asking people. For brioche. How I imagine everyone looked at him:

It is so astoundingly tone deaf and tactless. He is basically cosplaying as Marie Antoinette and then going around asking the poor for cake.

I just.... Aziraphale. babygirl. no. oh no. You're lucky they even bothered to take you to prison. I am amazed Crowley ever let him live that down.

I have no conclusion other than this. Aziraphale is ridiculous and I love him so much.

YES YOU REALLY SHOULD SIR.

[ventique18]

"So you're here. I finally found you... LILIA!"

BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP GO AWAY WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT HERE????? STFU JUST STAY A CUTE LIL BABY??? THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'M NOT HAPPY TO SEE MY HUSBAND LMAOOOOO

BTW the senate is filled with assholes who keep demonizing Lilia for everything. Lilia hatches Malleus and for some reason they find a way to say "EW DON'T TOUCH OUR HOLY DRAGON YOU'LL CONTAMINATE HIM WITH YOUR FILTH"??? Like OMG all of them deserve to be guillotined. It's actually unreal how much they worship the Draconias so they think anyone who associates with their pure, holy gods must be dirty rats and will contaminate them. Why do they even exist omfg... Malmal grow big and strong and kill every single one of them wtf.

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan in his natural habitat in the temple sleeps in a loft bed (it was supposed to be storage he said cat instinct and turned it into a loft bed they’re shockingly common with Jedi tbh tho) and under 17 fluffy blankets with a pregnancy pillow (he’s not pregnant he just can’t sleep off his stomach if he don’t got one and sometimes autism requires squishing to keep it all down) and three more fluffy blankets on top of him. He has an optional Padawan or pet (not really a pet, just whomever followed him how from the gardens today) in bed with him also. And he’s got a projector on the wall and has a night stand with water and gaming devices so he can survive up there forever.

The clones, who have learned to sleep with full kute coverings and usually without blankets or pillows cause they just pass out on each other, most of whom identified with their Jedi for having similar sleeping types if they weren’t human, realize they are quite horrified by his Stewjoni nesting instinct. And he’s offended and refuses to sleep with any of them till they apologize to his favorite stuffed animal for insulting his HOUSE. Fuck you bitches he and Master Sparkle Bantha deserve better.

Cody is groveling while Alpha is still trying to negotiate a less intense number of blankets and Anakin is just shaking his head like ‘it’s not worth it Bro’ and Alpha is like ‘shut up ur an omega too you brat’ and that’s the last straw, you called them omegas now Cody is asking what an omega is and Alpha is trying to figure out how to keep his AO3 account hidden from his vod’e and nvm he’ll sleep in the barracks forever-

Obi-Wan holds this info over his head like a guillotine and convinced him to get in the damn nest right this second and cuddle him better.

If you don’t sleep with at least two comforters and a queen sized fuzzy blanket then I don’t trust you. Yes I refuse to trust my sister and wife okay. Everything in the world has a downside and that’s theirs. My bed is half dragon hoard of yarn and squishmallows. I’m not changing for anyone.

Anakin’s bed is 90% pillow and squishmallow and 10% blanket. Padme uses a thin cotton blanket and lets him burrito wrap himself and uses him like a body pillow while he’s captive in the blankies.

[polarpanda01]

Dabi and his grave

so dabi is a dramatic little bitch as we all know, and I think he’d love the opportunity to fuck with his family. Therefore it is my personal belief that he went to his grave and left really weird things there just to fuck with them.

imagine: you’re one of his siblings, mourning the tragic death of your older brother, who was only a child when he died. You decide to go to his grave to leave flowers and pay your respects. Upon getting there, you find something that nobody in their right mind would leave at a grave. None of the other graves have been messed with, which means this grave in particular was targeted. Nobody sees anything or anyone, so the mystery goes unsolved, and the items placed there get increasingly bizarre.

some things I think he would leave:

a stack of five paper towels, weighed down with a rock

miniature figurines of various things (animals, landmarks, etc.)

a tiny guillotine with an endeavor doll decapitated next to it

printed stock photos of someone flipping off the viewer

various pieces of obsolete technology

extremely old books written in languages none of them know even a single word of

notes, written with his non dominant hand, about very personal and secret things only his family would know about

an actual severed hand/limb

none of these things (except the extremely personal things about his family) have anything to do with either Dabi or Touya, either

[tiredofthehumanlife]

You and Mattheo = Gomez and Morticia pt 3

You Mattheo and your beautiful baby. Mattheo could not be more proud of an infant. You're both just so happy

He's dancing with you any chance he can get in the kitchen in the street at an actually appropriate time anywhere and anytime

You're both just so proud of your kids anytime they do anything Mattheo is celebrating "oh you kicked a ball? Get your things we must go celebrate" and you're both very proud of your children especially at birthday parties you both like "how god they grow up so fast" yk classic

He trusts you entirely you could snap his neck and he'd be like "hey whatever the partner wants yk"

You and Mattheo just obnoxiously proud of your weird ass kids. They're so strange and you're both like "yep those are ours couldn't be more proud" if you're at like soccer game and another parent is like "oh which one is yours" it'll always be like "oh the one over there trying to make a guillotine out of sticks. 🥰"

You and your kid serving cunt 24/7 bc like its you and Mattheo Riddle's kid like be serious

Again attachment issues go ham with you two

He'll carry you anytime you look to be even a little bit tired he's like "HOLD ON BABE I GOT THIS 💪💪"

Mattheo teaching Draco how to get bitches bc he's a bit of a bully and just throws money at people to get their attention and Mattheo is just like "please for the love of all things sweet, stop."

No comment

Okay ✌️

[morallygreyyn]

Hey!! Could you do some hcs for the hxh boys having hanahaki disease for the reader? You can decide whether they get a happy end where they confess and the reader realizes feelings for them or no :p

hanahaki disease with the hxh boys (hisoka, kurapika, illumi headcanons)

authors note: omgggg i've always been obsessed with this myth but i completely forgot about it until you reminded me anon! i'm so happy i got a request for this! i chose happy endings bc who doesn't want a happy ending with our favourite boys?

the surgery to remove the disease doesn’t exist in these headcanons bc i couldn’t be arsed to write about it

live or die by the disease bitch there is no other option

warnings: mentions of death, blood

read part two here!

requests are open!

hisoka had known you for a long time

you were close confidants, and dare i say it, best friends

he admired your strength, how you never failed to join in on his chaos, and fire back at him whenever he made a quip

with how well you two got along, it was only a matter of time before he coughed up the first petal

he knew immediately what was happening, he was a man cultured in myths and legends after all

he was more shocked at the realisation that he loved you more than the fact that he just coughed up a flower petal

and you didn't love him back

he couldn't blame you, even though you liked to fool around with each other, you had never been serious with your flings and it was strictly no strings attached

well now it was apparent that there were strings

the magician couldn't pinpoint the moment he had fallen for you, he supposed it was a gradual thing

but one thing was for absolute certain, he was in love

and he was dying because of it

hisoka is a man of mystery and many secrets but this...

this he would probably tell you about after a while of mulling it over

during this period, his coughing got worse until eventually he couldn't take it anymore

he would go straight to you, letting himself into your house as he usually did

hisoka could feel the pain in his lungs when you looked at him and smiled

he would suppress the coughs as best as he could while he figured out a way to tell you

i feel like his confession would go one of two ways

either he would be outright and serious for once

or he'd make a performance out of his dying body

let's explore the serious option first

you, having caught onto the fact that something was very wrong, took your friend’s hand which only made his coughing worse. "what's going on hisoka? you never get sick."

he laughed dryly. "it would appear that I'm in love with you."

you didn't believe him of course. "you're joking."

hisoka coughs into his hand, revealing petals tainted with blood. "does this look like a joke to you?"

OR the performance option

"it would appear I'm in love with you." he coughed into his hand and threw the contents in the air, several flower petals soaked in blood rained down on your head. "surprise."

it doesn't matter which option he chooses, you're still frozen in shock

"i thought it was just a myth." you stared at the bloody petals in horror

"me too."

the room fell silent, hisoka wondering what his fate would be based on your response

i can’t see him as a person who cares whether he lives or whether he dies

i can see him just sitting there on your couch, staring with bored fascination at your living room while he waited for you to drop the guillotine over his head

his lungs and throat were writhing in pain, but hisoka was never one to be put off by this

what he didn’t expect was for you to then turn to him, grinning

“i love you too.”

his face drops

“yeah, i love you too hisoka.”

hisoka would’ve been amused by how quickly the weight on his chest dissipated if it weren’t for his shock

however it didn’t take long from him to recover from this and he swoops you into an embrace

which of course leads to more

and oh boy hisoka was never happier to be alive

would 100% not tell you

the second the first petal fell from his lips, he knew immediately that it was you

he also knew that he could never tell you

you didn’t love him back and he didn’t want to make you feel bad about that fact

how could he not love you though? you were his biggest source of joy and the one he cared for most in this world

his would hide the disease from you for as long as possible, smothering his coughs with great effort

the longer he did this, the worse it got

he knew he was going to die and he accepted that fact

he didn’t want to die, but he knew he could never tell you 

kurapika would try and avoid you towards the end

dodging your calls and skipping on meeting up with you until eventually he stopped contact altogether

you, extremely worried about your friend, went to go visit him unannounced

letting yourself inside, your heart dropped in horror at seeing him 

kurapika looked like a ghost

his face was hollow, lips chapped and stained red

he would insist he was fine, even though he clearly he wasn’t

eventually he wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore, launching into an extreme coughing fit, him throwing up petals, whole flowers and blood 

having heard of the disease before, you could only ask who he loved and who didn’t love him back

this time, he looked you directly in the eyes. “you.”

cue your shock and horror

kurapika had to avert his gaze, he didn’t want to see your disappointment in his final moments

he hated himself enough for having these feelings but he didn’t want to see you hate him too

his lungs were more branches and flowers than tissue at this point

the kurta was just about to get up and leave when your voice stopped him

“wait.”

he waits

“you have this disease because you love me and you think it’s unrequited, correct?”

“yes.” he didn’t want to add that he didn’t just think it was unrequited

“what if it wasn’t unrequited?”

“then i wouldn’t be dying.”

“then i don’t understand.” you shook your head, suppressing a smile. “because i love you too.”

he stops

kurapika literally stops working

his brain shuts down and his body comes to a complete standstill and he just stares at you in shock

you feel the need to confirm it for him. “i love you too kurapika.”

he couldn’t hold himself back anymore

regardless of his sick body, he rushes to you and pulls you into the tightest hug

his chest clears, feeling light and unrestrained

he kisses you and kurapika can finally breathe again

this boy is so damn confused when coughs, and then even more confused when he sees a petal in his hand

what on earth is happening to him?

doesn’t even realise he’s in love

it takes him a couple of days and a couple more instances of coughing up flowers for him to realise something was wrong with him

a quick internet search yields the results he was looking for 

cue more confusion

unrequited love was the cause?

would think long and hard about who in his life he could have these impossible feelings for

then his thoughts eventually arrived on you

and when they did, he couldn’t stop thinking about you

so he loved you? why? what was the reason? when did this happen?

many many questions were circulating through that beautiful head of his

reading further about the disease, he realised that the disease would only go away if you loved him too

if not, he would die

not one to be scared by death, he decided on not telling you

why would he? it was pointless anyway if he was going to die

doesn’t even consider the chance that you might love him back

takes the unrequited part as fact and sticks with it

illumi is a tough boy so it takes ages for him to finally be run down by the disease

is a master at hiding his coughs

he has a reputation to uphold after all

he even keeps it from his family, determined to take his shame to his grave

would honestly have to be on the brink of dying for him to show that he’s suffering with the hanahaki disease

luckily you like to meet up with illumi very frequently and you had become quite attuine to his stoic attitude and personality

to the point where you could pick up the most minuscule of differences in his behaviour

it didn’t take you long to realise something was wrong with your friend but no matter how hard you pushed, he would shoot you down

cue you becoming the best investigator the world has ever seen

it started when, after illumi had left the bar, there was a single bloodied petal sitting in his place

you took the petal back home and began researching

it took you a while but you eventually found out about the hanahaki disease though you couldn’t believe that this was what illumi was struggling with so you kept searching

however your search was in vein and all you had to go on was a myth about unrequited love

so the next time you met up with illumi, you kept an even closer eye on him

watching the subtle ways in which he would suppress what would normally be very painful coughs

the way his lips seemed a bit more chapped and red than normal

the way his already pale skin became more translucent

you had to face the facts, illumi was suffering with unrequited love

and it was killing him

you couldn’t bear the thought of losing illumi

but who on earth was he in love with? and how could you convince them to save his life?

realistically you knew there wasn’t much you could do

but out of desperation, you confronted him about it

“when were you going to tell me about your hanahaki disease?”

“i wasn’t.”

“have you told anyone?”

“no.”

you weren’t one to be easily frustrated, but for some reason you couldn’t watch him throw away his life so easily

in a fit of despair, you blurted. “please find some way to fix it, i can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

“why?”

you didn’t think about your words before you said them. “because i love you.”

he froze

you kept going, putting your own feelings to the side in an effort to save the man stock-still before you. “and it’s because i love you that i’m scared of you dying, so please just find whoever it is and confess to them. i’m sure they like you back if they’ve got the great illumi zoldyck dying for them.”

it was then that you noticed his expression

you would almost say he looked relieved? but surely you had seen wrong

it was illumi after all

“ah, it’s gone now.” he somehow sounded much better than a couple of minutes ago

“gone? how can it be gone whe-” it didn’t take you long for you to realise what had happened

illumi looked at you expectantly

“you love me?” you asked in a small voice, afraid that this was a bad joke even though you knew illumi was practically incapable of making them

“evidently.”

needless to say that that was the start of a wonderful relationship that even illumi couldn’t have imagined happening

but he wasn’t complaining

not in the slightest

[imsobadatnicknames2]

wrt your post about US elections influencing the whole world and the "European privilege" we exhibit: yes and? The dogshit american empire rules us. Before them it was the soviets. Before that it was the nazis and before them it the austrians and hungarians and turks. What is your fucking point? we KNOW your ratfucker private-sector-imported political class is salivating to make us work 7 days a week for 14 hours, and cook us in our cities by burning 30 trillion times more petrol. We have to see your fucking politicians' faces on every social media site and be swamped with gofundmes for black folks shot dead by your SS policemen. Are you trying to say politics is a distraction from labour disputes? WHAT? It's the same. Politics IS labour dispute. None of us are free until we all are, we KNOW. FUCK. Like no bitch, we KNOW the IMF is fucking us in the ass because a bunch of US economists normalized the Ayn Rand ideas of market capitalism 50 years ago. Yeah we would machinegun them for christmas if we could but we CAN'T. We can't even vote for the slightly less gaza genociding party but you can. SO SHUT UP! Don't you fucking understand we're governed by your economic power with no recourse or representation? That everything comes from you because you're at the top? Even fucking LEFTISM is INFESTED by tankie shitheads from america whose only idea of communism is that it must be good because they've reversed american exceptionalism in their heads and think anything opposing the US must be better? I can't even go online without some redfash LA shithead telling me about the virtues of Ho Chi Minh and Ceaușescu. GOD. If Trump pulls NATO out of europe Putin will be at my doorstep TOMORROW. Shut the FUCK up about europeans complaining that you english ratfucker colonists are governing us. Vote blue no matter who, strike, kill your bosses, guillotine your politicians and maybe our children - which we wont have - can live in peace one day. And for the love of gun-toting truck-driving hillbilly american Jesus shut the FUCK up and let europeans complain. CHRIST.

I love when I get five paragraphs long asks that can be completely invalidated with the following words:

I live in the global south.

[magicxc]

Frenemies

Pairings: Survey Corps - people they cannot STAND

Word Count: 1076

Warnings: none

A/N: Idk man I love a good tussle jskksks. Like give me two characters who absolutely hate each other! And with AOT I really don't have to look too far, yay. This is basically canon but it's funny to think about so here it is as well. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren  - Jean, Weak People

I think the Jean one gets over exaggerated a little, and for good reason too, cause the girlies be EATING with those tropes. But at the end of the day they have a mutual understanding and are cordial at best. They're mostly cool because they share mutual friends and spaces but it’s no longer beef per se. 

Hear me out, I don't think anyone wiping out 80% of humanity is willing to kick it with people who aint about it. Mans need someone who’s willing to stand on business behind him. Even throughout the show he’s always admitted to not liking people who’s willing to live like “livestock.” So this is not to be confused with physically weak people by the way but psychologically weak people. Essentially Eren has beef if you’re willing to take it lying down. 

Levi - Zeke

Listennnn I LIVE for their fight scenes okay lmao. Like it's almost always on sight for them and their lil jabs at one another? It’s chucklessss for me omg. Lets be clear, their beef is absolutely warranted. It can be safely argued that Levi doesnt really care for most people but Zeke?? Oh baby its all smoke for him. 

Erwin - The Government 

I swear if it wasn't for the literal fate of humanity and his brewing theory Erwin would've just said fuck it cause baybeeee, they wanted that man GONE. They've tried to get him fired, pointed guns in his face, and built a whole ass guillotine to unalive him; in front of the entire town mind you. Maybe that was the custom back then I don't know. I don’t remember Erwin outright saying that he doesn't fuck with the government but fuck it, I’ll say it for him. Cause I'll stand ten toes down behind this one here. 

Connie - Ymir

I promise you I let out a nasty ole chuckle at the thought cause he don't even dislike her fr fr. I think it's a situation similar to Eren and Jean's in the sense that their friends and environment often see them in the same places. Because if we’re being real, not only do they have little in common but they just don't really vibe like that. I think they could've been a little more cordial but Ymir be on her own timing and it's usually at the expense of the squad. Like when she made fun of Connie for suspecting his mother was a titan or when she kidnapped Historia like 3 times and put them all in danger. And I can't even be mad at Connie for being the voice of reason cause him calling her ugly was simply the truth. I, too, reared back when I first saw Ymir's titan form. 

Jean - Eren, Reiner, Annie, Bertholt

The whole Eren thing is basically squashed but it’s worth noting that if he were to see him in public, he’d walk the other way. 

I lowkey had to dig deep for this one cause I genuinely forgot. But even though they’re all kumbaya now, those three bitches literally watched his homie get half his face chewed off by a titan. Jean is absolutely pouring one out for Marco every birthday by the way, but yeahh it’s still fuck them. Like if they were playing uno stacked, he’d save all his draw 4’s and make them draw 16. 

Onyankopon - Yelena

I'm not too sure that Ony dislikes anyone honestly. But I'm going with Yelena here mostly because she’s the reason he found himself in his current predicament. On what was supposed to be a solid plan in motion to save his people quickly turned into Ony modernizing a primitive people, helping build their resources from scratch, having people question his race (and I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar it was mfs that got ignorant), seeming untrustworthy among his peers, almost getting killed, fighting in a war he had nothing to do with, and probably losing his entire family in the rumble. Now, one or two of those things were inevitable, but if you were to view things from Ony’s POV everything went to shit over a bitch with a fatal attraction to a man with daddy issues. 

Reiner - Himself

Lmaooo I LOVE a good Reiner drag. And while this started out as a joke, I'm deadass now. This man stays talking about wanting to end it all but never follows through, smh. With lots of therapy and support, I genuinely think that Reiner would be on the road to recovery and a healthy lifestyle; but there’ll always be that lingering thought on if he’s worth it or not

Honorable mention: Ymir. But solely because she would get in the way of his fantasy life with Historia. 

Armin - Floch? 

This munchkin is damn near Tanjiro levels of sweet cause omg who does he even hate??? He is always looking for the good in people and I'm about to dislocate my shoulder reaching this hard BUT, hear me out - It’s Floch even if he doesn’t outright say it. The same Floch who damaged the flying boat and almost ruined their mission before it even started? The same Floch who fucked it up so bad that Hange had to sacrifice herself which resulted in Armin taking on an even bigger responsibility? The same Floch who got in a lil too close with his bestie Eren? Close enough to be trusted with his future plans? The same Floch who when he lay on that ground bleeding Armin was nowhere in sight? Even at the port where they attacked the Yeagerists and Armin got shot in the face, he pleaded with his old comrades to stand down but Floch is beneath that level of reasoning huh? Whether Armin despises Floch or not it's safe to say if Floch were getting jumped, Armin would definitely sneak in a kick before helping. 

Floch - Erwin

This is literally one of those cases where its like I disagree but I understand lol. That man legit made them do a suicide charge and yeah he lead the charge blah blah blah but I could never be that brave. And so that resentment is understandable but in all fairness it shaped Flochs character for the better to be honest; cause that whole pwussy boi arc was annoying. 

Also adding the main cast of the Scouts lmao. They thwarted his plans and he spent his DYING breath standing on business. Gotta respect it.

Tags - @eveningatthemoviesnetwork

[boobo13cambridge]

Kylian Mbappé imagine where it’s your first time together as a couple. He just knows you’re the one and almost feels like he’s not good enough for you.

Kylian was very nervous as he sat across from you. It was your first time going out as a couple in public, and the number of paparazzi outside the restaurant wasn’t helping at all. He knew he was acting a bit weird, but he couldn’t get past the old insecurity that he wasn’t good enough for you.

Now, you might be wondering, dear readers, why does the daddiest of all football players feel insecure? Why does the man who won a World Cup at 18 years feel like he’s not good enough? Two words: Serena Blair. (Yeah, I know. I had the same thought. Totally sounds like a pornstar name.)

Now, I don’t want to get into too much about that stanky bitch. Let’s just say that nothing our golden boy did was ever enough. If he bought her a Dior bag, she wanted a Birkin. If he bought her a Cartier bracelet, she wanted a Graff necklace. And so it went, until Tata Fayza intervened and knocked some sense into her boy.

“Kyky, are you okay? You look a bit tense,” the gentle cadence of your voice managed to calm his racing heart. He gave you a shy smile, “Yes, mon amour. I’m fine. I just wanted to apologize to you about the paparazzi.”

"You don't need to apologize for that, babe. It's not like you called them on purpose to be up all in our faces," you replied, trying to calm your jittery boyfriend. Kylian and you met when you slammed into him while playing hide and seek with the children at the Premiers de Cordees association and spilled your vanilla cold brew all over his face and white t-shirt. It was all very dramatic, very much cliché, and of course, it was love at first sight. Sometimes you thought Kylian was a masochist with a very obvious humiliation kink.

The rest was history; you were constantly texting and snapping each other, going on dates incognito so you could stay in your little bubble a little longer. He was the most attentive boyfriend, always making sure that you were comfortable and had everything you needed, despite his busy schedule. He made you feel like a princess, and every day you fell just a little bit harder for this man with the dimpled smile.

Today was a big milestone in your relationship, as you were finally going public with it. For most people, four months probably was too early, but for Kylian Mbappé, who always knew what he wanted, it was nothing. So here you both sat at this fancy restaurant in the middle of Madrid, and your boyfriend was acting as if he was about to be guillotined for starving the French people.

Seeing him so unsure was a rare sight, but you knew why he was so on edge. He told you about his ex one night after he almost had a mental breakdown gifting you the complete set of the MinaLima Edition Harry Potter books. You were in tears because you loved it and he thought you hated it.

"Kylian, what's wrong? You've been acting really off the whole night." Concern laced your voice as you reached for your boyfriend's hand, rubbing circles on the back in an attempt to soothe his anxiety.

"I-I-I'm just really anxious, bébé." he said, his voice strained as he licked his dry lips. Your heart broke seeing your boyfriend like this. I swear to God when I see that bitch it's on sight.

"Why are you anxious, mon coeur?" you inquired softly, your gaze filled with concern as you reached out to touch Kylian's hand.

His eyes flickered with uncertainty, his voice tinged with insecurity as he responded, "I feel like I'm not good enough for you, and you're going to realize that one day and leave me."

"Kylian! Are you out of your mind?" you exclaimed, your tone a mixture of surprise and reassurance. "That's never going to happen. I love you so much, baby. How could you ever think that?"

A heavy sigh escaped Kylian's lips as he continued, his words weighted with the burden of his fame, "Look at my life! I can't even go to a restaurant without being followed by cameras. Every move I make needs to be planned in advance. I can't be spontaneous with you because everything is a security risk."

Your heart ached at his admission, understanding the weight he carried on his shoulders. "You wanna know something, Kyky?" you said softly, your voice filled with sincerity. "Even if you lived in a dingy apartment with fleas and rats, and the only thing we could afford for a date was soggy fries and mayo, I would still be with you because you're the most amazing man I've ever met. I've never felt like this for anyone and-"

"Not even Jungkook?" Kylian interjected, a playful glint in his eye despite his lingering worries.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head. "Ok, woah. Calm down, let's not exaggerate," you teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"Bébé!" Kylian exclaimed, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"I'm messing with you, Ky," you grinned back at him. "But the point is, I love you for you and all the little things that you do for me. And nothing in this world is going to change that. So please, relax mon coeur and let's enjoy the night?"

"I love you too, mon amour," Kylian murmured, his voice filled with gratitude. "Thanks for being there for me, and I'm sorry for-"

"If you don't stop apologizing, I'm going to flash my tits to the paps," you quipped, a mischievous glint in your eye.

"Bébé, what the fuck?" Kylian sputtered, his big, dark brown eyes widening in a mix of shock and amusement.

"Exactly," you replied with a grin. "Now give me a kiss."

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A/N: Okay, so maybe I got a tad carried away with this fic, not gonna lie 😅 But hey, I hope you enjoyed it, my lovely anon, because I had an absolute blast writing it.