#guido mista (whipped out a gun)

[jjkamochoso]

The Gift of Guido

Fluff

Guido Mista x f!reader

Mista can’t help but spoil you any chance he gets!

Warnings: translated Italian lol, slight cussing

Guido Mista was many things: laid back, fun loving, a bit too superstitious for his own good—he was also irrevocably, unconditionally, in love with you, and he made sure to prove his devotion to you any chance he got.

Ever since your first date, Guido would greet you with the most breathtaking florals anytime he was lucky enough to be graced with your presence.

“Un bel fiore per il mio bel fiore, (a beautiful flower for my beautiful flower)” he would say every time without fail, causing you to blush as brightly as the petals being presented to you.

“Guido, you’re too much,” you always replied, holding the stem gently between your fingertips, guiding the flower to your nose as you inhaled the fragrant scent. He would just gaze upon you, hand in chin with a dreamy look in his eyes, as if you were an angel sent down from heaven; for all he knew, you really were.

He would always take you on dates to the nicest restaurants in town, often asking Bruno or Leone for recommendations. While the men were partial to Libeccio, Guido was constantly on the hunt for newer, more exciting places to treat you to. He also hated that dining at a restaurant frequented by members of his team, especially the younger ones, meant being teased relentlessly throughout what was supposed to be a romantic outing for the two of you.

“Oooh I’m Mista and I’m in loooove with y/n!” Narancia teased from the table next to yours, shoving spaghetti in his mouth.

“You better shut it before I knock some sense into you,” Guido seethed, gripping the cutlery in his hand with white knuckles. Normally he would’ve immediately pounced on the boy but he tried his best to show self restraint in front of you. Narancia stuck his tongue out at Guido before diving back into conversation with Fugo, shoveling food into his mouth without a care.

“Please ignore him, Amore mio (my love),” Guido told you, “he’s being an idiot as always.”

“Huh?! You callin’ me names?” Narancia asked, standing abruptly from his chair. Guido’s eyebrows furrowed as he whipped out his gun from his waistband, waving it around in anger.

“I’m on a date, asshole! Leave us alone!”

“Knock it off, you two. Narancia, you need to study. You’re only getting stupider by the second,” Fugo interjected. Narancia huffed and sat in his seat once more as Guido tucked his weapon back into his pants and took your hand in his own, shooting you his suavest smile.

“Forgive the intrusion. Now, where were we?”

You just shook your head and laughed, finding the whole situation quite adorable. It was endearing how his team treated each other like family. In all honesty, you weren’t bothered the slightest by the interruptions, knowing you and Guido would be able to have plenty of alone time later.

Another thing Guido loved to do for you was treat you to expensive jewelry. Not having a steady income made it difficult at times to buy you the exact watch, ring, or whatever struck his fancy, but somehow, he always made it work.

You were sitting with Guido in your apartment, enjoying a rare quiet evening, when all of a sudden, Guido was wearing a grin that he didn’t bother trying to conceal.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” you asked, wiping at your skin.

“No way! The only thing on your face is beauty.”

“You’re such a womanizer, Mista,” you chastised, rolling your eyes playfully.

He brought his hand to his chest in mock hurt. “Womanizer? Il mio tesoro (my treasure), you’re the only woman that’s ever on my mind.” He reached into his pocket and procured a velvet drawstring pouch. “And that’s why I got this for you.”

“Oh, Guido, whatever it is, I couldn’t accept it-”

“I insist,” he said, his irises sparkling from the leftover sun filtering into your living room. You opened the pouch and gasped when you saw what was being held inside. Not believing your eyes, you pulled out a chain connected to a weighty, and quite large, diamond pendant.

“So? Do you like it?” he asked, his boyish charm on full display as he eagerly awaited your response.

“It’s breathtaking,” you managed to say in your utter disbelief. While you were grateful for his other pieces he had given you, this certainly took the cake. He must’ve saved up for a very long time to be able to afford the necklace.

“As are you.” He gestured to the chain. “Can I put it on for you?”

“Of course. Thank you,” you said, turning around. You shivered when you felt his fingers ever so slightly grace the skin of your neck as he began to clasp the necklace.

Tried to clasp it, that is.

“I’m trying to- it won’t- my fingers are too big-fuck!” He groveled, frustrated. Before you could even get a word in, he called out the Sex Pistols.

“You guys need to clasp this before I take the necklace back to the store and choke the salesman with it.”

A chorus of “sure Mista!”s and “anything for y/n!”s rang out as the bullets nimbly finished the job he started. Calling them back in, he wrapped his arms around you from behind and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

“You look amazing. Absolutely perfetta (perfect).”

“Thank you very much for the gift, Guido. I love it and I love you.”

“Anything for you, vita mia (my life),” he said sweetly, lazily slinging an arm over your shoulders with a lopsided grin. “Now, how about we go out and make some people jealous as you show off what it’s like to be dating mafioso such as myself?”

[ddarker-dreams]

That Sr lunch discussion except the conversation was actually interrupted SRs ex bc I live for drama

honestly that'd go beyond drama... it'd be escalating into a full force conflict.

as always, link to scarlet ribbons for anyone who comes across this and is ???

you'd think giorno would be the voice of reason here. the one to hold down the fort while all hell breaks loose. well, you'd be thinking wrong; the dio genes really start popping up. he becomes a smug little instigator. stirs the pot at every opportunity. that ex is going to know they are most definitely not welcome around these parts, especially if they strolled into libeccio and sought you out. may or may not turn a button of theirs into a mosquito. or a tick. whatever it is that’d make their day worse. you’ll be absolutely none the wiser, however, giorno covers his hidden motives with his charismatic smile. 

bucciarati is going to assume the burden of being mature. it’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. he’s honestly more concerned over your feelings on the ordeal than establishing his machismo. he’ll quietly ask if you want him to intervene or allow matters to play out on their own, honoring whatever it is you decide. bruno is curious to know just what kind of person it is you’re romantically interested in... it’s useful information for his future endeavors. he can’t say he’s impressed with your taste thus far. but that’s okay, once he sweeps you off your feet, your taste will have improved tenfold. notices giorno turning one of their buttons into a mosquito and says absolutely nothing. 

fugo is more confused over what you saw in this random shmuck?? he's been trying to get in your good graces for years and this person somehow managed to do it? he bets they're not even half as smart as he is. smh. do they know how to do calculus in record time? probably not. you know who does? hint, the answer is him. he does. he’ll even show you and beam once you compliment his math prowess. he’s got a hair-trigger temper though. the second they enter a close enough radius to your person, he’ll be seeing red. he’s got enough competition with the others on the team (who he has dubbed the peanut gallery), he doesn’t need some shmuck strolling in and adding to his numbers. purple haze is more than content to turn them into a boiling pile of goop should it be necessary.

narancia is whipping out his switchblade in record time. gets the tough guy persona going, asking if they wanna “take a walk”, then glancing over to you to see if you thought his delivery was cool (you give a tentative thumbs up). it doesn’t matter if you were together for one month or one year, narancia gets freaked out by the thought of some stranger touching you. gross. no one other than him can do that. to say he’s envious is an understatement. he automatically assumes that the person is up to no good, even if you ended the relationship on decent terms and they’re just stopping by to say hi. postulates that they could be a stand user. you say they’re dressed too normal to be one. honestly, the entire experience ruins his day. he’ll probably be muttering under his breath and kicking rocks the entire walk home. 

cue the music. mista does this semi creepy song and dance where he slings an arm around them, acts real chummy, all so they can get a good view of the pistol hidden in his boot. he’s ready to duel for your honor. give him a time, a place, and he’ll be there. you need to gently explain to mista that they don’t need a bullet in their head, he can put the gun away. anytime now. preferably sooner than later because he’s making a bit of a scene. after the poor soul is sufficiently scared off, they can expect to be greeted by none other than guido mista, obscured by an alleyway’s shadow. their life flashes in front of their eyes, probably thinking this is the end for them. mista just quietly asks them what kind of pickup lines work best on you. 

abbacchio honestly has no interest in interacting with them. he thinks the fact they have to be in giorno’s presence for any length of time is punishment enough. if the poor soul tries to interact with abbacchio, to better understand the people you’re hanging around these days, all bets are off. abbacchio has a menacing death stare that radiates pure hatred. looks at him with the same disgust one would a spider in their shower, yet maintains his indifference. it’s a double-pronged attack. he’ll start belittling them to their face in ways that aren’t that apparent at first. the kind of talk that you wouldn’t realize until a few hours later. he gets his kicks in then goes back to shutting them out. 

[daisys-gard3n]

I have been instructed by the powers that be that the Team Bucci Adult trifecta must be completed with domming everyone’s favorite gun dad, Mista.

I have been contacted by the elder gods to complete this ask

Mista is usually a very well-behaved sub. He won't disobey your orders, but he has a bratty side to hi. That comes out with small comments.

"Y'gonna play with me, Mama/Papa? What made you change your mind from last night?"

"If you keep up with those comments, I'll have to punish you, Angelo."

"I'd like to see you try."

And try you did. You whipped out the strap and made Guido get on his knees, stuffing his mouth with the dildo attachment and making him suck on it until you feel like stopping. If he likes opening his mouth so much, you might as well give him something to put inside. This isn't a harsh punishment because you know he likes it, he's giving the strap an eager blowjob and holding onto your legs for dear life while he drools around it. If you're up to it, you can press your foot against his crotch and feel him up while he's kneeling on the ground. He'll moan around your strap and take you down his throat deeper. When you're done, take him by his head and start throat-fucking him. Maybe you can have one of those cum tube attachments to simulate cumming inside his mouth. He'll groan at the feeling with happy tears in his eyes, letting out a pant of relief as you pull him off your strap on now covered in his saliva and maybe the faux cum. Guido will rise his head up towards you happily, his mouth messy and sweetly call out to you:

"I love you, Mama/Papa."

"I love you too, Angelo. Now, get on the bed. All fours."

Guido likes getting the strap in a lazy spooning position, facing you so he can kiss you while you lazily pump into him. He's more of a groaner, his head planted in the crook of your neck and mumbling in your ear: "I love it when Mama/Papa fills me up good." "You fill me up so good." "I wanna cum, Mama/Papa. Please?"

Afterwards, you can take the strap off and hop on that dick while he's all riled up and sensitive after cumming once. He'll be louder then, grabbing onto your waist and calling out your name as you bounce on his cock. Not like he's begging you to stop, he wants more. He likes it a bit rough and you're perfectly okay with it.

"M-Mama/P-Papa! P-Please give me more! Hnng, fuck! Y-Yeah, I'm your good boy! Fuck! I'm Mama/Papa's sweet Angelo! Hng-Please fuck me!"

[oddlovergirl]

Team Fortress 2 but with VA/GW Characters (REVISED)

Since my friend Mel-Mel @melones-my-bottom-bitch is introduced to Team Fortress 2 by Miss Mingot @mingot-studios, I decided to do a rework of my mid-2020 post about the VA/GW characters as TF2 characters.

On the anti-heroic BLU Team, we have:·

Scout – Narancia Ghirga; Narancia is rather cocky and arrogant (as well as VERY short-tempered to the point of whipping out his switchblade knife if angered, which is often), and he is pretty tiny, so he fits the role perfectly.

Soldier – Bruno Bucciarati; Well, he is strong in both offense and defense (._.).

Pyro – Sheila E.; I only have one reason for giving her the role of Pyro, and it’ll all be explained below.

Demoman – Leone Abbacchio; what? The guy has a drinking problem that he mostly keeps under control.

Heavy – Guido Mista; Mista is the most comical of the team and will likely use Sex Pistols to direct the bullets, since he usually serves as the team’s enforcer.

Engineer – Pannacotta Fugo; Fugo has an IQ of 152 and when not upset (which is WHEN he gets hotheaded and violent) he’s usually polite, mature, friendly, and caring.

Medic – Coniglio; I know this seems controversial, but I decided on giving this character the role of medic instead of Giorno (don’t get me wrong; I did consider on giving the Medic role to Giorno at first). For those of you who don’t know Coniglio is, she is from Golden Heart, Golden Ring, a (dubiously canon) light novel taking place after the gang betrayed the Boss, written by Miya Shotaro and Gichi Otsuka, and illustrated by the Hirohiko Araki himself, released in Japan on May 2001 and three years later in Italy. Her Stand is The Cure (named after the English rock band), an adorable gem-encrusted rabbit capable of healing any injury or disease almost instantly. However, should it absorb too much pain, it’ll grow into a gigantic subhuman rabbit and go berserk, with it growing stronger the more it gets hit until Coniglio calls out to it to calm it down. To me its berserker state sounds like the OP version of the Ubercharge.

Sniper – Giorno Giovanna; Giorno likes to observe and analyze his enemies from his rifle scope, prefers subtle tactics to take down enemies that don’t draw too much attention, and he can turn his bullets into plant matter to trap his enemies for him to annihilate.

Spy – Cannolo Murolo; with his Stand All Along Watchtower, Cannolo makes the perfect spy for the team.

On the anti-villainous RED Team, we have:

Scout – Formaggio; that guy’s quick on his feet and able to improvise. With Little Feet, he’ll sizeshift to dodge enemy attacks. Then there’s the fact that Formaggio is a cocky son of a bitch.

Soldier – Ghiaccio; What? They're both violently crazy (even if Ghiaccio can be levelheaded at times) and seem patriotic (definitely the case with Soldier and his love for America, while foregin languages in Italian culture sets Ghiaccio off on a tirade as shown with his "Venezia" rant)

Pyro – Gelato; combine childlike with Ax-Crazy and here ya go :)

Demoman – Sorbet; I imagine Sorby spamming grenades to create a rain of blood and dismembered body parts. I'm just stumped with ideas.

Heavy – Risotto Nero; seriously, this guy might be officially tall at a whopping SIX FEET AND EIGHT FREAKING INCHES, so he’s very much a muscular giant. If you somehow manage to survive this guy’s hail of machine gun fire, depending whether you have the guy’s bullets imbedded in you or not, Risotto will use Metallica to turn you into a bullseye target at best or a human pincushion at worst.

Engineer – Pesci; generally speaking, Pesci could potentially be Only Sane by Comparison, as despite his cowardice, he's more intelligent and cautious. Not to mention it'll be a REALLY bad idea if you mess with him.

Medic – Melone; that guy might have a degree in human genetics. After all, he has a mad scientist shtick going on.

Sniper – Prosciutto; Prosciutto is all about professionalism. Both he and the Sniper are Affably Evil, as Prosciutto genuinely cares for Pesci and recognized Bruno’s worth as Capo, and the Sniper’s credo about his work as an assassin (“Be polite, be efficient; have a plan to kill everyone you meet.”) Also fitting that Prosciutto is part of the "Support Class" since Grateful Dead couldn't kill by itself and has a major weakness to the cold.

Spy – Illuso; that mofo would be the type of person to spam Electro Sappers onto the enemy machines, driving Fugo nuts and usually earning the ire of Shelia E.

Meanwhile, Diavolo is the administrator for both teams, with Doppio working for him.

[aerancia]

character and relation tags

guido mista (whipped out a gun)

pannacotta fugo (never judge a book by its cover)

bruno buccellati (work your fingers to the bone)

leone abbacchio (got to lose to know how to win)

giorno giovanna (learned from fools and from sages)

trish una (whole world's come undone)

naramis (tried to blow me away!)

[ddarker-dreams]

helping with bugs / scarlet ribbons.

Inspired by the recent discussions of SR Reader and her mortal nemesis, bugs. 

[Scarlet Ribbons description]

Bruno Bucciarati; 

Bruno never fails to be anything less than the most reliable boyfriend. If you ever have the option to pick who to ask for help from, you go with Bruno. He’s not going to judge you. He’s here to take care of the problem, and to do so in the most efficient way. 

Has the straightest face as he squashes whatever bug has been tormenting you. Bruno will inform you that you don’t have to worry about it anymore, giving the clear to come back into the room. He tries so hard not to point out how cute you look when you came to him all panicked and flushed.

In the case no one else is around, he’s gonna point it out, he can’t hold himself back. You’ll see him fighting back a smile and know you’re in for it. 

“[First]... I must say, I like this side of you. It’s very endearing.”  

In the case he finds the bug to be nonthreatening (like a moth), he’ll use a zipper to let it outside. 

He’ll check up on you afterwards, making sure you’re feeling alright. Bruno is such a good boyfriend :’)))

Giorno Giovanna;

He picked up on your fear before you even thought to mention it to him. Giorno is nothing if not observant. 

In the moment, he’s not going to fans the flames further by teasing you. Unless it’s an invasive species that does harm to the ecosystem, he won’t kill the bug. He’ll find a way to transport it outside and far away from you so it’s no longer a problem. 

Should you be amiable, will offer to help you overcome your fear by creating “cute” bugs. It’s a good time to bond and he gets to subtly show off Gold Experience! Giorno is a partner that wants you to strive to overcome things. He’ll transform some nearby objects into a ladybug or butterfly for you to interact with. 

“See, it’s alright. You’re doing a good job. This creature doesn’t want to hurt you.” 

God Giorno’s presence is so soothing that you can’t help but feel a bit better. He’s so composed, still as an anchor. He doesn’t fully understand why it bothers you... but that doesn’t matter, he won’t mention it. Might make a Single sly comment that’s so subtle you don’t even fully pick up on it until later. 

“Wait, Giorno, were you teasing me?” 

“Hm? Whatever do you mean?” 

He has the tiniest of smiles, and you can’t get upset with him. 

Guido Mista;

For such a doting boyfriend, Mista is the least ideal person to seek help from. Mista is going to be too preoccupied laughing at your misfortune to offer any assistance. When you hit him with a low “Mista...” and frowny face he gets his act together. 

Imagine his surprise when you’re asking him to get his gun out. Is that... really necessary? It’s just a bug. Why do you want him to shoot the bug. Wait, why are Pistols getting into position to shoot the bug, hold on this is devolving fast-- 

“Leave it to us [First]!” 

“Yeah, we’ll take care of it!” 

Mista disappoints his Stand (and you) by refusing to shoot the bug. He uses the famed “stomp it with your shoe” method instead. Pistols are calling him a coward. It doesn’t matter though, because at least it’s gone, and you can live in peace again. 

He’s not going to stop bringing it up. Teasing you, pinching your cheeks and cooing over “how cute” this quirk of yours is. 

Pannacotta Fugo;

A chaotic experience.

Fugo is trying to explain to you why this fear is irrational. Especially if he’s familiar with the bug, and its potential to do harm. He isn’t doing it to flex his intelligence. Instead, he really thinks he’s going to be helping you out in the long run by getting you over this. 

“See, by this coloration we can tell whether or not it’s venomous-”

“Fugo, please for the love of god just kill it!” 

Purple Haze is more than willing to slay the bug for your honor. Unfortunately, Fugo is not a fan of this idea, and has to keep his Stand from inviting itself out and activating its virus. Purple Haze just wants to impress you and earn your praise, and so does Fugo by extent, he’s just better at hiding it. 

He’s just sighing at this point. Whatever, he’ll do it himself, god he has to do everything in this house. Gets rid of the bug with a scowl. Then proceeds to look at you and ask was that really such a big deal? When he sees the grateful smile on your face though he shuts up. 

Will say it’s the last time he’s doing this. It’s not the last time he’s doing that.

Narancia Ghirga; 

Narancia knows a prime opportunity when he sees one. This man is not letting it go to waste. He’s whipping out Aerosmith, putting an arm in front of you, telling you not to worry. That he’s going to take care of it for you. Narancia wants to be your knight in shining armor... 

Which is all well and good, until Aerosmith starts firing away. Does it take care of the bug? Well, yes, but there are more pressing issues afterwards. Namely the path of destruction left in Aerosmith’s wake. Narancia will look back at you, sporting an ear to ear grin, internally celebrating over how cool that must’ve looked to you. 

Now you realize that there’s a new problem at hand. The fact that Narancia, in his eagerness, obliterated the wall. There’s smoke rising and everything. He doesn’t consider his response to be an overreaction, and is going to vehemently stick by that. It was bothering you!!! Of course what he did was necessary. Smh.

He’ll tell you to come to him if you ever need someone to get rid of bugs again. Has a little bounce in his step afterwards if you thank him... :’)

Leone Abbacchio;

Abbacchio does not get what the big deal is.

It’s a bug. You’re more the capable of dealing with a bug. Why are you being so dramatic? He’s going to be giving you a long look, before sighing. The frantic expression thaws his heart. Honestly, he’s grateful that you’re relying on him. Won’t admit that though.

“... Alright, stop staring at me like that. Where is it?” 

He can’t maintain his composure when you hide yourself behind him, hugging his arm. Okay who gave you the right to be so cute. Aaaand now he’s trying not to blush, great, this isn’t going well. Abbacchio has to tell himself to focus to get through it. 

Later on when you’re asleep he’s going to replay the entire scene. Seeing how adorable you looked when you came to him for help, replaying you thanking him, all of that. He can’t get enough of it. 

Trish Una;

Listen... Trish loves you. She really does. You’ve been by her side at the lowest points in her life, and the highest. The two of you are inseparable once you get together. Practically glued at the hip. Trish would do almost anything for your sake, as you would for her. But if you asked for help killing a bug, well...

Nah she’s not gonna do it. Trish isn’t a fan of anything icky, and bugs are at the top of that list. She’ll keep telling you to use your Stand to take care of it. When your rebuttal is that you don’t want to, and she should just use her stand, she’ll point out that yours has better range lmao. Trish came prepared to win this argument. 

It ends one of two ways.

One: you power through the anxiety and slay the bug, further earning Trish’s approval. She’ll be impressed by the display of strength. So it’s worth it in a way? You’ll get a kiss on the cheek, and semi sarcastic comment about being her savior. 

Two: bolting out of the room and hoping it’ll just die somehow. That room will be sealed off until further notice. 

[oddlovergirl]

Team Fortress 2 but with Golden Wind/Vento Aureo characters

I’ve been watching some Team Fortress 2 gmod vids and since I have a slight JJBA GW/VA obsession, I thought I would make a list.

On the anti-heroic BLU Team, we have:

 ·          Scout – Narancia Ghirga; Narancia is rather cocky and arrogant (as well as VERY short-tempered to the point of whipping out his switchblade knife if angered, which is often), and he is pretty tiny, so he fits the role perfectly.

·          Soldier – Bruno Bucciarati; Well, he is strong in both offense and defense (._.)

·          Pyro – Sheila E.; I only have one reason for giving her the role of Pyro, and it’ll all be explained below.

·          Demoman – Leone Abbacchio; what? The guy has a drinking problem that he mostly keeps under control.

·          Heavy – Guido Mista; Mista is the most comical of the team and will likely use Sex Pistols to direct the bullets, since he usually serves as the team’s enforcer.

·          Engineer – Pannacotta Fugo; Fugo has an IQ of 152 and when not upset (which is WHEN he gets hotheaded and violent) he’s usually polite, mature, friendly, and caring.

·          Medic – Coniglio; I know this seems controversial, but I decided on giving this character the role of medic instead of Giorno (don’t get me wrong; I did consider on giving the Medic role to Giorno at first). For those of you who don’t know Coniglio is, she is from Golden Heart, Golden Ring, a (dubiously canon) light novel taking place after the gang betrayed the Boss, written by Miya Shotaro and Gichi Otsuka, and illustrated by the Hirohiko Araki himself, released in Japan on May 2001 and three years later in Italy. Her Stand is The Cure (named after the English rock band), an adorable gem-encrusted rabbit capable of healing any injury or disease almost instantly. However, should it absorb too much pain, it’ll grow into a gigantic subhuman rabbit and go berserk, with it growing stronger the more it gets hit until Coniglio calls out to it to calm it down. To me its berserker state sounds like the OP version of the Ubercharge.

·          Sniper – Giorno Giovanna; Giorno likes to observe and analyze his enemies from his rifle scope, prefers subtle tactics to take down enemies that don’t draw too much attention, and he can turn his bullets into plant matter to trap his enemies for him to annihilate.

·          Spy – Cannolo Murolo; with his Stand All Along Watchtower, Cannolo makes the perfect spy for the team.

On the anti-villain RED Team, we have:

 ·          Scout – Formaggio; that guy’s quick on his feet and able to improvise. With Little Feet, he’ll sizeshift to dodge enemy attacks. Then there’s the fact that Formaggio is a cocky son of a bitch.

·          Soldier – Gelato; it could just be me, but his uniform looks pretty military to me. Then there’s the fact that Gelato is a deranged lunatic alongside Sorbet according to Illuso.

·          Pyro – Pesci; He’s the most soft-hearted member of La Squadra (unless you gravely injured Prosciutto, then you’re fucked), and Pyro seems to the nicest member of the Team Fortress 2 Classes aside from their insanity.

·          Demoman – Ghiaccio; well, his temper is indeed explosive (*ugly wheeze*). Aside from the pun, there exists a dry ice bomb that Ghiaccio can use.

·          Heavy – Risotto Nero; seriously, this guy might be officially tall at a whopping SIX FEET AND EIGHT FREAKING INCHES, so he’s very much a muscular giant. If you somehow manage to survive this guy’s hail of machine gun fire, depending whether you have the guy’s bullets imbedded in you or not, Risotto will use Metallica to turn you into a bullseye target at best or a human pincushion at worst.

·          Engineer – Sorbet; this may seem weird to have Sorbet be the Engineer, but TF Industries sells all manners of deadly, cutting-edge devices to prospective buyers, and Sorbet is definitely motivated by money, not to mention being a lunatic like Gelato. IDK I’m just running low on ideas.

·          Medic – Melone; that guy might have a degree in human genetics. After all, he has a mad scientist shtick going on.

·          Sniper – Prosciutto; Prosciutto is all about professionalism. Both he and the Sniper are affably evil, as Prosciutto genuinely cares for Pesci and recognized Bruno’s worth as Capo, and the Sniper’s credo about his work as an assassin ("Be polite, be efficient; have a plan to kill everyone you meet.")

·          Spy – Illuso; that mofo would be the type of person to spam Electro Sappers onto the enemy Sentries, driving Fugo nuts and usually earning the ire of Shelia E., who usually uses her flamethrower to light him on fire like a roast pig.

 Meanwhile, Diavolo is the commander of both teams, with Trish Una (as Ms. Pauling) and Doppio assisting him.