#guess who finished their 2-month-long WIP!!

[meg-does-art]

Halsin & my tav, Inara, a moon elf ranger, sharing a moment together

[No reposts or use with AI]

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

ok, you know what, fuck it, fic recs post. historically i try not to rec works in progress or things i haven't commented on and i'm throwing that fully out the window for this because honestly, fucking whatever.

if you're on this list and i haven't been fully unhinged at you in the comments, please know that it's because (1) i'm the worst and (2) i'm trying desperately to calibrate so i hit 'enthusiastic' and not 'kind of frightening, actually'. i swear that i have written at least several sentences of a comment for every fic on this list, it's just that i'm genuinely impossibly slow, sometimes. it's me, not you.

my previous rec post is here, in case you missed that. as a bonus, special for this rec list and as a concession to the horrors, i am attempting to guess how much any given fic will fuck up the average person. obviously this is a ymmv kind of situation, but i'm trying, at least?

everything else under a cut because i am longwinded.

and found by @dangerouscommiesubversive, explicit, every possible combination of di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua | li xiangyi; bless, but i am not typing all that out. starting off with a wip where i haven't left a comment in like four fuckin' chapters, breaking those rules real good. this fic is a fucking ride. i will admit that i wasn't entirely convinced by the premise when i saw the blurb, but i am nothing if not willing to admit when i was wrong, and i was—once again—totally wrong. this is the fic where i was like 'ok but…is anyone really, like, desperate for gen z li xiangyi?' and then i read it and i was like 'ohhhhhh fuck yeah, ok, i get it, i was actually fully desperate for gen z li xiangyi.' he is. such a little prick. i love him. there has been something unexpected and delightful in every single chapter of this so far, plus a number of impressively memorable one-liners. this fic is fun and distracting and at least as of chapter seven, i'm gonna say it's not even gonna fuck you up. (please note that this is only through chapter seven!)

and the days are bright red by @junemermaid, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. rip to my beloved tumblr mutual @junemermaid, because they're getting called out twice in this list, but: tough. this fic is so delightful. featuring: memories of slut era li lianhua, the mortifying ordeal of being known, an entire box of historically accurate sex toys, fang duobing and di feisheng communicating (sometimes silently) in a way that unsettles li lianhua (back from his months-long sojourn), some very hot sex that is both very much about sex and also about trust and being perceived, casual intimacy, and fledgling tenderness. there are Emotions in this, and they get moderately intense, but it's a very kind and surprisingly gentle feel-good fic.

a drink under a clear window by @momosandlemonsoda, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing and fang duobing/qiao wanmian. a fic that tackles the dreaded v-shaped polycule and makes it work. it seems like perhaps it shouldn't: fang duobing as the hinge, with di feisheng and qiao wanmian on either side, but actually it works perfectly, and is a lovely little glimpse at who they could become and the relationships they could have. i love the thought of qiao wanmian having come into her own as a leader in her own right, as more than just the representative of the ghost of li xiangyi, and this does a wonderful job of letting her be her own person. also, yes, ok, passing fang duobing back and forth like a party favour. this is a post-canon fic in which li lianhua is dead, but the fic itself a straightforward delight that is not at all fucky uppy.

the floating clouds, no resting place, again by @junemermaid (not sorry), technically gen and no ship, but functionally pre-di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. the hair-washing fic. ohhhhhh. i started jotting notes for this post the day that i finished this fic, and i really thought that they were in any way comprehensive, but instead, what i typed and left as a note to myself was this:

and honestly. you're right, hypothetical reader, that doesn't totally make sense, but i stand by it regardless, because i apparently had that thought in [checks date i last saved the file] fucking august, and i'm still nodding along with myself. that is that this is like. this fic is very beautiful and will make you ache and will leave you slightly better at the end of it than you were at the beginning. it may also make you cry; this seems to me a fair enough trade.

the floating lotus by @anndramarama, not rated, di feisheng/li xiangyi. pre-canon stuff doesn't always work super well for me, but i really enjoyed this one, featuring di feisheng and li xiangyi when they're both so young and arrogant and full of themselves—and stupid and naïve and young and almost hopeful in a way that they're often not, in fic, for all that they were barely but children at the point of the donghai fight. they just seem…vulnerable, i guess, in this, in a way that i find touching. seasonal bonus: a ghost story, of a sort. given that this is set pre-canon, i think it's hard to come in any softer than bittersweet, which this very much is.

from here one's hand could pluck the stars by @howlingmoonrise, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing. sex pollen fic! also featuring, a little surprisingly, given the premise, incredibly explicit and enthusiastic consent. look, this does what it says on the tin. di feisheng gets sex pollened. fang duobing is left to stay with him. the obvious ensues. unfortunately, it is also devastatingly charming? fang duobing is earnest and sweet; di feisheng is suffering beautifully terribly and trying so hard not to impose on fang duobing. they're both trying so hard to be respectful of what the other person needs, but they're also still bratty and argumentative and exasperated/exasperating, and it's very entertaining. this will fuck you up none percent, and may even make you laugh.

my war is done by @orchisailsa, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. another wip, with the first of three chapters posted, but please understand that this chapter is nearly 15k and so fucking good and compelling. li lianhua lives! and returns to find that things have changed in his absence, and perhaps that he has also changed in his absence, and now wants things that he had told himself he didn't mind not even having to lose. bonus: road trip and—delight!—only one room at the inn. also some other stuff that i'm not spoiling, but that made me absolutely gleeful. this is definitely a work in progress, and while i don't think there's anything particularly upsetting in the chapter, it does end on something of a cliffhanger. i personally do not feel that this is an upsetting cliffhanger, given the information about the fic that's presented in the tags, but it is technically a cliffhanger.

awkward paragraph break, but it's also important, i think, to mention the absolutely stunning (and not at all safe for work) companion piece to my war is done, you'd be there calling my name, by saki the cup bearer, who i don't think is on tumblr. it's fucking incredible; i am very decidedly not an artist but i cannot begin to imagine how much effort went into this. just. holy shit.

not unlike him in shape and form by @philologicalbat, explicit, fang duobing/li lianhua. ok look. i fucking love when things are deeply emotionally messy, and this is so emotionally messy. li lianhua who's been attracted to fang duobing and not doing anything about it, then discovering that fang duobing is shan gudao's son and is very much going to do something about it. he wants in this, and he's cunty and manipulative and mean about it, and sometimes also almost sweet, almost tender, and i love that, because i feel like li lianhua is very often an object of desire and very rarely gets to desire. i love how human he gets to be in this fic. this is not a sweet or gentle fic, but it does end in a moderately tender place that is tentatively hopeful, i think.

unbecoming heir by @bettercostume, explicit, di feisheng/princess zhaoling. i am taking your hand in mine and begging you to trust me. i know what this fic looks like. it's noncon and a weird pairing and you might look at it and expect it to go in the obvious direction and: it does not. this fic is so good that it makes me angry. it makes me miserable and everyone in this fic is trying so miserably, miserably hard, and it's fucking devastating. i spent literally thirty minutes earlier today yelling at my wife about it. i cannot rec this fic strongly enough. this is not a happy fic, but it is a good fic. it will absolutely fuck you up. this is very complimentary but also you will be fucked up.

until you are its primary evidence by @ilgaksu, mature, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. the single most effective use of what is effectively a prologue that i've ever seen in fic, are you kidding me. this fic is nothing at all like what i expected it to be, and is something far better than what i could have imagined. it's fang duobing's point of view, which is a rarity already, and it's so well done, and it allows him so much humanity and so much anger and grace alike. there are so many tricky things about this fic—the prologue, the fact that it's set in the amnesia arc, fang duobing's pov, the fact that it actually addresses canonical disabilities and illnesses without being fucking weird about it, the tension between the three of them—and it's all balanced so well. this has some emotionally heavier moments but ends tentatively happily; tentative only because it's set during the amnesia arc, and, well. we know what comes next.

as a final note: if you wrote one of these fics and feel that i've wildly misinterpreted the emotional tenor of the ending, please message me in whatever way you prefer and i will correct it. i would not normally presume to guess how things are likely hit people, as i am in many ways not anyone's ideal reader, but today it seemed like it was kinder to at least try.

[tiffanyvampiremama]

Who I am and what I write.

I've had a lot of new followers lately, and I haven't really introduced myself yet. I'm Tiffany and I write fanfiction under the username Vampiremama (Or Readingmama on FF.net but I'm moving away from posting there) I have several GO fics of varying length right now. I have included some info below if you are interested in checking any of them out. I am working on a new very angsty AU that will post after my current one, so if you like dark and gritty with a HEA, stay tuned for that one as well. My Current WIP (Is finished being written and posts every Monday) Hidden Canvases : Rated E AU, Human. Enemies to lovers. Excerpt: (Aziraphale POV) Of course, a man like that would also be gifted with talent. Just another example of the world giving all the best things to the wrong people. Aziraphale tried to be a good person; he wanted to be kind and gracious. And he was. But it didn’t come naturally. It was a learned skill, and people like Crowley reminded him just how much of an effort it really was sometimes. But being kind didn’t mean being a doormat or to watch his friends be abused by callous, big-city men. Sometimes, the kindest thing he could do was to just avoid a situation. Besides, he would only have to see Crowley on Saturday mornings at his class. And even that was limited. He was only there for the summer. And maybe he wouldn’t come back.  Cake by the Ocean. A Guess the Author Prompt from the Soft Omens Discord group. 500 word limit, the prompt: Cake. Rated General Audience. Aziraphale Crowley has been hiding something from him. A Dirty Dive Bar. A very naughty one shot. A tryst in a dirty dive bar leaves our ineffables very satisfied. Rated E Excerpt:

As soon as Crowley was through the door, Aziraphale pushed him back against it. He reached and clicked the lock in place even as his lips made their way to Crowley’s. Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale, his surprise at the sudden change of events only throwing him off guard for a moment, and he plunged his tongue into Aziraphale’s mouth. And, oh, was his tongue a revelation. Such wicked things he could do, Aziraphale thought.

Aziraphale felt his heart hammering in his chest as he broke the kiss, his hands going to Crowley’s belt.

“I thought I was the one seducing you,” Crowley said, panting, as he watched his trousers be pulled open.

“Consider me seduced, “ Aziraphale retorted with a wave of his hand as he slid down to his knees. “Although, I’m a little embarrassed at myself, those pick up lines were horrendous.” The Lies I Would Tell for You: My second Season 2 fix it. This one is longer and more angst filled compared to Mistakes Were Made. Different plot ideas, and HEA outcome. Rated E Excerpt:

Crowley sat staring at the wine glass on the table. It seemed like a right shame to water down the wine, but he needed the look of the wine to calm his nerves, trick his brain. Steady his nerves. Had it really only been a month since he and Aziraphale had started the bottle. It felt like ages ago, but every minute since Aziraphale left with The Metatron had felt like an eternity. He thought maybe after a day, Aziraphale would come to his senses. Deep down, Crowley knew that the angel would put his duty above all else. Together, they had found ways to cut the corners, but now that he was alone, Aziraphale would be by the book. It wouldn't take him long to forget. Six thousand years wasn't all that much time in the scheme of forever. 

He picked up the thermos. It hadn't been hard to get Muriel to fetch him more. They were a much easier mark than Aziraphale had been. But also less fun. He was so clever but also so curious. He was perfect. 

Crowley thought about what his existence would look like now. No Hell; he was free of that. He had Earth, and he did truly love Earth, but it was tainted now. His love of Earth was wrapped up with his love of his angel. It weaved through his life in what once felt like a beautiful vine and was now a type of cancer, eating away at everything inside of him. 

He unscrewed the lid off the thermos and topped his glass off. Steeling his nerves, he lifted his glass, his eyes swung heavenward, and he cheered.

"To the world." The Cuddle Cafe: A warm hug in fic form.(One Shot) Set during the years where they took care of Warlock. Crowley is so touch starved he stumbles into a professional cuddle cafe. Rated T Excerpt:

Like a beacon, a neon light caught his eye from a building across the street. The sign read Cuddle Cafe. Crowley stopped and stared, and then looked around him to see if anyone was staring at him staring.

It wasn’t like he could go to Aziraphale and ask for a hug. Angels didn’t hug. Hell, demons didn’t either, but here he was, feeling the need for a kind touch. He could just walk across the street and go in, get what he needed, and get out. He could even smile at the human just so they wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable.

No, it was ridiculous, Crowley thought as he found himself walking through the door.

Mistakes were Made: Rate T. A quick Season 2 fix it fic. Excerpt:

“You don’t understand. I need to speak with God,” Aziraphale demanded, but his voice went too high and it sounded more like begging. Which was probably closer to the truth.

“Do you have an appointment?” the angel asked, looking up at him from behind her desk.

“An appointment? With God? Is that a thing I can do? In that case I would like to make an appointment as soon as possible.”

“You can’t make an appointment with God,” she looked at him like he was daft. “God makes an appointment with you. Of course She hasn’t made any appointments with anyone yet, but I’ll let you know if that changes.”

[love-kurdt]

wip (what is poppin') wednesday

from chapter 2 of ntwdt >:) this fucking document is 37 pages long rn. to put that into perspective, the entirety of TIMT adds up to 37 pages. and i'm only on part 2 of 4. i think i've gone mad

“We’ve been here for, what,” I checked my watch, just to verify how long we’d been seated in the diner booth, “four and a half hours? And I still barely know anything about you!”

Matt chuckled. “Well, we’ve gotta finish the ten things about you, first!”

“Not my fault you keep distracting me.”

I could hear the grin spreading across his face as he teased, “I’m distracting, now, am I?”

“You are,” I admitted.

Matt narrowed his eyes and stroked his chin in feigned suspicion. “Interesting.”

“Okay,” I took a deep breath, pushing the conversation forward before I got too flustered and lost my train of thought once again. “So… Hawkins, Jonathan, D&D, books, my major, singing, alcohol, my father, Dustin–”

“Dustin doesn’t count,” Matt said.

“He does, too!” I insisted, letting a little bit of my inner child seep through the cracks.

“Fine,” Matt relented with a slight eye roll, “But only because I like you.”

Well, that was very forward of him. It wasn’t too out of pocket, given the fact that I’d literally made out with him not even ten minutes into knowing his name, but listening to a guy openly admitting his romantic feelings for me without any form of hesitation was something I had yet to get used to. I spent years hiding my own feelings, and Mike… fuck Mike. “I like you, too,” I heard myself say.

“… And that’s ten.”

“Wait really?” I shook my head in confusion. “What was ten?”

“That you’re into me.”

“Oh,” I said with a slight eye roll at my own stupidity, “Yeah. I guess that was ten things.”

“And that’s my number one. I like you,” he nudged my foot with his under the table with a smirk, “I have severe ADHD, I have a dog back home named Swayze— he’s a pomeranian. I’m a sophomore material studies major because I can’t make decisions to save my life. I have a passion for writing and have this dream of writing and illustrating my own stories someday–”

“Woah, wait, me too!” I interrupted, and Matt’s eyes lit up in surprise.

“Wait, you write as well?”

How to Explain The Status of Your Co-Writing Relationship with Your Ex-Best Friend Who You Were in Unrequited but Not Actually Unrequited Love With Without Mentioning His Name for Dummies would’ve been pretty useful right about now. “Well… no. I used to work on silly comic books with some of my old friends, but I only illustrated. Someone else did the writing.”

“Cool,” Matt nodded in approval.

“I have no idea what's gonna happen next. But, whatever it is, I... I think we should work together. I think it'll be easier if we're... we're a team. Friends. Best friends.”

“Cool.” 

“Cool.”

“So, uh—” Fuck, I hadn’t even realized I’d spaced out. “That was five, right?” Matt asked me, and I nodded, taking a sip of my Diet Coke. How long did I dissociate for? This hadn’t happened to me in months.

[wesslan]

20 questions for writers

thank you @adelfie for the tag<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18! (and one hidden). i did not think it was that many??? thought it was 10 tops, lol

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

272,860

3. What fandoms do you write for?

batman, used to write some dsmp, but now im kinda eeh about it. i also (for some godforsaken reason) have a harry potter WIP thats been sitting in my docs for like two years that i kinda wanna finish, kinda not (jk r*wling suck my dick challenge)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

cards on the table

when in gotham: don’t drink the water

robin radio

o bury me not on the lone prairie

and their dreams they dreamed awake

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try!!!! the number overwhelms me sometimes, but i try to answer when i have the energy! :,)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh god, i mean… i pretty much only write happy/hopeful endings🤠 mayyyybe ‘you have (1) new message’? its not all the way angsty but it’s kind of?? angsty??

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

gee whizz buddy see above and take your pick, really

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have gotten one (1) hate comment and i treasured it dearly until the person that posted it deleted it😭 other than that, nawt really. some people give unsolicited advice/critique, but thats about it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope. not really my thing

10. Do you write crossovers?

again, not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of! sure hope it stays that way

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yesss!!! so cool! they asked permission, and now my fic exists in a whole other language!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, and i think i’d be really awful at it. i cant say no to stuff, i cant keep deadlines, and i dont enjoy people being in the kitchen when i cook, so to speak

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

BAYBEY!! you KNOW i was a klance shipper first and a human second when i was like? 14? now tho? i’m shipping myself with sixteen hours of sleep and financial freedom. but also, deep in my heart,,,, charlie and carlisle from twilight. you could have been so beautiful.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

man at this point, who knows what i’ll finish. maybe instant repeater ‘99. i LOVE the concept and the world building. but also i kinda left the fandom,,,

16. What are your writing strengths?

people (including my interactive storytelling teacher) have told me im good at writing distinct characters/realistic dialogue! so i guess that! :,D

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

CONSISTENCY. finishing things. ending up hating what i’ve written like 3 months after it’s done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

well,,, that’s what i always do. english is another language to me! cop out answer, lmao. but other than that, i guess i could be persuaded to write a few lines in spanish here and there. did study it for 7 years, after all.

overall, i thinks it pretty cool! as long as there is an ez translation somewhere, easy to understand without a translation, or if it’s not done in a way that bi/multilinguals absolutely would not speak B)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh god. percy jackson. it’s still out there somewhere. i forgot my username and password so i’ll prolly never find it (thank god) but yeah. it was solangelo bc i was closeted and emo.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

probably ‘mothman is real and he wants to kill me’. i had a lot of fun with it! i also really like ‘*cocks gun* manor’s haunted’ just because i based it off of the haunting of hill house which is like, one of the best books ever.

that was fun!!! thanks again for the tag! <3 i’m tagging whoever wants to do this, and also (no pressure) @quotidian-oblivion

puss å kram, skumbanan!!❤️

[into-september]

WIP reblog game

tagged by @chaos-has-theories and @ladyofthenoodle, thanks~

If you're like me and you have a million WIPs and are anxious about updating them, play this game!

List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

Then tag 10 writer friends!

After the War (the most long-winded Love Square get together post Hawkmoth defeat ever and not in the fun misunderstandings-and-pining way)

Bread and Roses (no powers LS never met soulmate AU)

If You Read This Line, Remember Not The Hand That Wrote It (I think the human sentimonster storyline was a choice and made it everyone's problem. fic predates S5 though and isn't at all about where canon ended up going)

Five Things Apollo Justice Let Go When Staying In Khura'in (self-explanatory, with complimentary klapollo)

The one about the Reveal that happened before Radio Silence and/or That Conversation between Adrien and Marinette at the end of chapter 2 (alyanette friendship with background LS)

WHAT I'M EXCITED ABOUT:

...so. There were parts of this story that caused me trouble like you wouldn't believe, but the final chapter is essentially just smut and I spent enough of my twenties hanging around kink memes to know that PWP comes easy to me. So this was not the part I was stressing about while trying to keep the deadline for finishing the fic. And the irony is that life literally happened and I have not had the energy to write, far less get into the headspace for this one, for the last few months. There's no one part of it I'm more excited to write than the rest; it's two virgins trying to figure out sex together while carrying the story's theme of having to hide except from the one person who shares the same secret. I mostly just want to get it off my to do list.

There are only two future parts of it I have a clear vision of, so I'll guess my answer will be Adrien modelling the winner of Gabriel's bowler hat competition!

FELIX. You better believe he's here to make life difficult for Alya, have carefully concealed Feelings about both the Adriens, and do something undignified on Gabriel Agreste's grave

The reason it took me ten years to post this was that I really wanted Apollo's first Christmas in Khura'in and Klavier just happens to have a layover there.

It was very important for me that Adrien is enough of a weabo to have the OP of a certain 2002 anime about quirky schoolgirls as his ringtone ("HELLO EVERYNYAN", that's all I'm saying)

POLL TIME!

No pressure tags: @trainsinanime, @generalluxun and @galahadwilder who I think are the only fic-writing mutuals who haven't been tagged

[lowkeyed1]

Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions

Tagged by @storyspinner91 AND @ankahikoibaat so you know i gotta do it - thanks guys!

Tagging @bisexualshakespeare @blackdalek @rotaryshakes @aurorawest @bizzybee429 @mareebird @woobifiedvillain @cenobitic-anchorite @maeve-curry-writes @morriganwarrior @celamity @peterbenjaminparkour 1. How many works do you have on Ao3?  29. not bad for thirteen months!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?  226,628

3. What fandoms do you write for?

willow 2022, my obsession

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Velvet Fist, Iron Glove - so what if kit and graydon had to get married after all? and graydon was a trans man and kit discovered a predilection for domming? and then they started sleeping with jade? and graydon started sleeping with boorman? and graydon and airk got kidnapped together and... and then i need to get back to writing this one i guess. the greater tir asleen polycule is thriving! Thrown Like a Star - a kissing lesson on the shattered sea gets out of hand, and graydon and boorman start fooling around. when the immemorial city happens, they realize they're down bad for each other, and it changes everything. graydon finds out about the lie he's been living, boorman finds out what his life is about now that he knows he's not the hero of the story, and they find peace in each other. i gotta get back to writing this one too actually, there's a sequel a-comin Shattered Sea Crack: It Came From Beneath the Mud - a halloween fic about the questie gang telling scary stories on the shattered sea, and jade smokes 'em all Zombie Crack: Night of the Living Dental Dam - kit and jade try some role-playing to spice up their sex lives. i wrote this ficlet to get my ao3 word count to an even 100K! Funhouse Crack: Mirror Maze - kit and jade go on a date to a carnival, but the mirror maze proves tricky... 5. Do you respond to comments?

pretty much every one, yeah. i'm dying to talk about my writing XD

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

i don't really do that, lol. some of the halloween crack fics end with everyone dying.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

a lot of them have happy endings, if you know what i mean ;) but no they pretty much all do. except the ones where they all die!

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

no? not sure i'm popular enough for that lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

mostly yes! mostly m/m, mostly fairly vanilla. some light bdsm flavors here and there. the graydon/airk/elora silly kink funtimes series features a lot of goofy roleplay.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

not yet but i keep pondering them

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

ooh way back in the day yeah. would love to again (i see you @littleblackraincloudofcourse)

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

graydon hastur and thraxus boorman, or as i insist on tagging my constant posts about them, #graythrax

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

anything i've posted is gonna get finished. i don't know when because i keep getting distracted by new shiny ideas but i plan to finish them all :D

16. What are your writing strengths? 

i've gotten really good at ignoring that little voice that goes 'that isn't good enough. that's dumb. no one will like this. give up'. i'm a really good speller too! committing to the bit is a big one. aaaand going from 'people will figure out things about me from what i write oh no :0' to 'frankly i would enjoy the attention so go ahead'

17. What are your writing weaknesses? getting butthurt about not getting enough attention, lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

i would have to ask someone who's fluent to help me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

xena!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

Thrown Like a Star - it's what got me writing again after a very long hiatus, and it's the story i most wanted to see that no one else was writing. how i write has changed a bit since i started but it's still so powerful to me, to have realized my vision for it to such a degree. i only wish more people were as interested in my favorite ship so i could share that joy with them <3

[shitouttabuck]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 thank u bud i’m procrastinating packing and this was fun

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

seven!

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

129,484 which is a fake number to me

3. what fandoms do you write for?

nothing has made me as insane in my life as network television procedural drama 911 on abc, so

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you can start a family who will always show you love

let the world have its way with you

my hearts over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance

like a dog with a bird at your door

i like the summer rain (i like the sounds you make)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try very hard to because they make me so happy and it’s unbelievably kind of people to take the time to leave them!!! However i sometimes leave it too long and then worry it’s weird to reply after like. a month. which as a fic reader i wouldn’t give a shit about so idk what my problem is!!!! i will reply i will just maybe take a hot sec to do it

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t have any i’m a happily ever after or bust kinda guy in my own head if nowhere else…… angstiest is probably the sound of love astounds me if only because it ends post-feelings realisation but still pre-relationship

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they’re all so happy omg. i will say with great personal bias it’s my heart’s over-pumping but also i have. a sequel in the works….

8. do you get hate on fics?

no people have been very very very lovely but also sjjsjsjs i’ve not been here super long. the funniest comment i’ve gotten was on my first fic where someone was like i liked this but it is jarringly inaccurate as mcdonald’s in california doesn’t have a veggie burger option 😭 i cried laughing im so sorry to u americans. pls petition your local mcdonald’s to stock the mcplant it slaps

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

have written two e-rated fics….. it’s very fun but i don’t think i’m very good so i’d like to practice actually (maybe some sexy prompts after i finish the bed-sharing ones?) just the regular kind for now like i love buck and eddie desperately and am myself into a million things but i don’t know how kinky they would actually get in my own head. so just a little gross with it for now i guess

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be SICK. @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove is podficcing bucket list fic which is so very cool of her!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no omg i don’t know how y’all do it i’m bad at group projects but also this sounds soooooo fun. if also deeply stressful

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

if that’s synonymous with most likely to get you institutionalised, uh. gestures around us. otherwise mulder/scully and i am just now right as i’m typing this realising i’ve never ever in my life actually read x files fic what the fuck. also steve/bucky but i haven’t read fic since 2017 probably

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

listen i have not written a word for x files au past that one snip i shared forever ago. i want to soooo bad i’ve talked about it to some of you very rabidly but. it does not want to be written and if it did it would have to be so fucking long which is very daunting to me. not saying i’ve put her in the ground yet but. we might need some necromancing

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at writing in character? mostly? sometimes i struggle with buck just because i think we’re very similar and i project a little and then have to go back and fix it lmao but for the most part i think i’m good at that! and i have a lot of fun writing dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!!!!! and pacing!!!!!!!!!!! also my inability to write non-linearly omg if i get stuck i just get Stuck i can’t jump ahead

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oooh i love it and would love to include more than the teeniest bits i have but i’m so conscious about it sounding natural and not stiff to people whose language it actually is (shout out and a million kisses to @eddiebabygirldiaz for fixing the spanish in i love you like a dog!!!!!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

911 babey!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance !!! not just because it was the first fic i posted after joining tumblr fandom but. idk it is so so so special to me like it makes me so happy and when i think about it i’m like. hey u wrote that. good for u my dude. and also maybe i just associate it with meeting a bunch of you whjsjssjsj

tagging @callaplums @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @rewritetheending @try-set-me-on-fire @onward--upward @anxieteandbiscuits @devirnis @athenagranted if anyone wants to do this i’m nosy soz if you already have !!!!

[bluespring864]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @yoellglia, @kingfisherprince and @shambolicchaos for tagging me even though I haven't done one of these in months, I appreciate it <3 And look at this, I am actually doing a tag game.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 57. How did that happen.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

418,066. Some of those 57 are pretty long ;-)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well I won't list them all, we'll be here tomorrow. The published ones are mainly: Tatort, Good Omens, Potter, Tennis RPF, Skating RPF and a few Music RPFs. There's an awful lot of WiPs from Sherlock Holmes to Poirot to Star Trek to Oasis to Austen to various Panel Shows to Les Miz to The Hobbit and back again though. Plus WiPs for all the published fandoms. Sigh.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Alright this is going to be a trip down memory lane, seeing as I'm mostly active in very niche fandoms these days. Also, this statistic is perhaps skewed by the fact that lots of my fics are in German (a few nearly made it onto the list though!) and my RPF is locked (for registered users only).

Days in the Sun: Tops the list by a very long way. Harry Potter. A Snape/Hermione post war fic published in 2018. I'm a different writer these days but I still like lots of things about it.

To Trust in One Another: Good Omens. Aziraphale/Crowley post Season 1. I remember the response to this overwhelming me at the time, I had never gotten so many comments so quickly after posting and haven't since. This fandom is so lovely (and filled with writers!).

To those who wait, eventually: Harry Potter. Snape/McGonagall. I love this pairing and this story. And while I am very surprised that both the Potter Fics I actually published are het, I am not surprised they both feature Severus Snape.

Almost Too Kind, or: Prometo: Figure Skating RPF. Yuzu/Javi. I still like the Yuzu POV, although I think I've perhaps written more interesting skating stories, but this was obviously the most popular parinig at the time. Hence the amount of kudos I guess.

Language Barrier Sidestepped: Figure Skating RPF. Yuzu/Javi. This one surprised me because it's just a silly fluffy oneshot. But with some language nerdship in the title and the story (that part is less surprising, if you know me)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, and sometimes too verbosely :D I like a good comment discussion and I have made friends that way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angsty endings? Me? I would if I could. Maybe some day. I guess the angstiest one is this unrequited love drabble in the Tatort Münster Fandom.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, most of them have pretty happy endings, I think.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far. Most of the comments I get are really nice. I can remember only a handful slightly weird ones over the years.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No one is more surprised than me, but yes. In my case, it's usually part of a story and has a function in the story. But it can be pretty graphic because it's weird to me to treat sex as something to gloss over. That being said, sometimes a story decides on a fade to black. On the other end of the spectrum, I've also come pretty close to writing PwP, depending on your definition of it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Never written one, very rarely read them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

People have asked for permission several times and I always grant it (of course I do) but I don't think I've ever gotten a link to a finished translation (which I always ask for). I get it though, some of my stories are pretty long and I know all about the difficulties of translation :-)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

It's not finished but I hope we can get back to it @kingfisherprince! I might not always be the easiest person to work with, but I thoroughly enjoyed it so far.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I don't have one, I write whatever pairing is interesting to me. And would love to write more gen fic if inspiration strikes. The concept of an OTP used to make no senses to me either, though I guess I've come close with Novandy in the Tennis fandom. I still write lots of other stuff in that fandom though.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have trouble going back to the Potter stuff for various reasons. Would love to finish a Snarry which is already at almost 30k but doubt I will. I also have a Poirot/Hastings case fic I really want to finish but (see writing weaknesses)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not sure. I hope Í write realistic relationships that make sense in the story. I try to write clear prose that's not too cluttered (I don't always succeed). Sometimes with my longer fics I've managed to slightly miraculously tie things together, which is amazing to me when it happens but I can't control that at all.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I sometimes overexplain. I tend to forget about 'setting the scene' descriptions now and then. And the big one: I can't plot for the life of me, I write as I go along, which isn't always a problem but definitely is when you try to write a murder mystery (I've got an unfinished Poirot one and an unfinished Tatort Münster one which I would love to continue).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like it, though I tend to use it relatively sparingly and either add translations or try to make it clear in other ways in the text what was being said (a translation degree comes in handy for this).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well the first time I tried writing fic it was Kirk/Spock but the first thing I finished and published was Tatort Münster.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Don't do this to me. The answer will be different every day, I think, and for lots of reasons. This is not me being pretentious (I hope), because I would have just as much trouble choosing my favourite song or book etc. Let's pick Two and Two Together for today because I never would have thought I'd write a 42k poly fic, but here we are. I think we've established I sometimes surprise myself.

Tagging: I think most of the writers on my dash have been tagged... but maybe @bonos-grindcore-sideproject and @advantage-sinner and @savageandwise and @all-my-worlds-a-stage if you want to do it?

[silenthillmutual]

my buddy @doomednarrative tagged me in a fic writer's ask game so ^_^ let's do this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

on my current account i have 154. being unemployed and hypomanic during lockdown will do that to you.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

895,907. i can't tell if that's a normal distribution for my fic count or not.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

at the moment: silent hill, bloodborne, and pathologic. most of what i have up there is for pathologic. i've got other fandoms up there though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

eight, thirty-one - 1899 kudos (danganronpa)

to quote mika, age 35, of beirut, lebanon: "where have all the good (gay) guys gone?" - 1066 kudos (danganronpa)

(they long to be) close to you - 1021 kudos (mob psycho 100)

all jotaro wants for christmas is kakyoin (and he screws that up) - 810 kudos (jojo's bizarre adventure)

anticlimax - 796 kudos (danganronpa)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i've responded to most comments i've gotten, though it's always months late because i tend to read the e-mail first thing in the morning, head to work, and completely forget to respond. responding feels more personal. i know i'd be more likely to comment on someone's fics if i knew they appreciated it, so i try to make the effort, even if i struggle to know what to say.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

god this is old as hell but probably life in technicolor/the end of all things. they're life is strange style aus for one punch man and genos dies at the end of one of them, and at the end of the other the city is destroyed. the fics are connected, but i won't say how.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

so tired, so tired, my heart and i (pathologic) is probably the sappiest i've ever written a fic so i'm guessing that one!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

occasionally. i got transmisogynist hate for when you finally get inovlved, face to face for writing chihiro as a trans girl, and it made me stop writing for danganronpa altogether. i got a guest user on some burakhovsky nsfw i posted (idr which one) who said "jesus christ, tag your trans shit". and someone who went off on me years ago called vita in motu (pathologic) "borderline mpreg" and they very much meant it derogatorily. so if i seem a lil paranoid about interacting w people there's a reason why lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

i do! i actually write more smut than i post because i am not showing everyone my oc/canon smut. like some friends will be able to see it but i'm not brave enough to show the whole world that. also a lot of au smut recently that has no context and i'm not posting it to ao3 without context.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

i did moreso in the past than currently. we're not gonna talk about the craziest one though<3 love and light

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nah. i've had people write fic very inspired by stuff i've written but not copy-and-paste stolen, to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

people have asked but as far as i know it never happened. always thought it would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes!! w my buddy dj :) also published rps in the past that i shaped up into fics.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

mulder/scully is The Ship Of All Time to me. the blueprint.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh there's a few!!

a rebel without a case rewrite that i started because i wanted to fix what i saw as timing issues in the film.

an akira/mob psycho 100... crossover? au? both? i had some real ideas for that one but it's not going anywhere

a silent hill au for mob psycho 100 that apprently someone was interested in enough to try and make their own while referencing mine. it was an audience participation fic and i'm honestly upset that i lost steam on this one because it was a lot of fun!

a magnus archives statement from artemy burakh. the idea behind that one was that he saw daniil die, and then be replaced by another actor... but artemy's the only one who noticed the different actor.

literally dozens of pathologic fics that i have started like you have no idea just how much i have started for that stupid game.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm not sure! my partner says i do vagueness well, and the unease that comes with that. i think i do decent at introspection in general

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action for sure. i tend to do better with thought than with action, so i can write really long scenes where absolutely nothing hapens. kind of an issue!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don't really do it because i only know like...extremely basic german and i feel it'd be a disservice to other languages to just google translate. i will occasionally describe characters using sign, but again... not knowing it, i don't feel comfortable just saying shit, you know?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i wrote something like fanfic as a like, eight year old? for a book series i can no longer remember. but for first published fanfic it was either bones or soul eater. those fics might still be out there, who knows!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i don't really have one! i'm still really proud of o tempora, o mores (pathologic), vita in motu (pathologic), and my mind has changed my body's frame (bloodborne) <- less sure of that one bc not much feedback but y'know!

who shall i tag.... @stvlti, @brodyliciousbooty, @loudmound, @go-go-devil, @shogoakuji and anyone else who writes, consider yourself tagged :P !

[scienceoftheidiot]

For the WIP game....You can probably guess which one I'm going to ask about... Can we see "03 smut" 👉👈

WELL LUCKY YOU do you know what happened ?

When I opened the file titled "03 smut" to refresh my memory of it I actually found ANOTHER file than the one I was expecting. Which I have now found again, and was titled "Swap bonus chapter" (I'll explain in a minute).

Which means I actually have TWO (2) 03 smut things. Which are in fact related to each other, and linked to the fic I wrote with @qs63 "My own worst friend and my own closest enemy", where we swapped BH!Roy and 03!Roy places. In this fic I took care of writing my boy 03!Roy which has made me 1) very protective of him and 2) want to write about him outside (which I have done and published once already).

Anyway. This "03 smut" one, is supposedly what happened right before Roy ran away to Briggs for PTSD reasons. It's an angsty and sweet one, that has not been finished yet. But I swear it's sweet... and explicit lol. Riza has her own ideas XD

Here's a SFW excerpt, and I trust that you will know to ask if you want to know more about the other surprise 03 smut WIP haha XD

“You’re not burdening me, sir.”  She was closer than he thought she was, and he turned around to look at her.  Over the last months, he’d grown accustomed to seeing her with her hair down and more feminine clothes than her uniform, but he was always stricken by it. Even if, right now, she was still wearing pajamas — an old army set of sweats, that he’d judged dated from her time in the academy. Her frame had obviously changed since then, and the white shirt was a little tight on the shoulders and chest, and occasionally flashed the bare skin of her hips when she raised her arms. When she wore this, these last months, Roy had always made a point to look away, but often not fast enough not to see.  And then it would come back to haunt him at night.  Roy had a mock frown, but his words were genuine.  “Not burdening? Coming home after a long day at work, just to take care of your ex-boss?”  The lieutenant smiled, an almost cheeky smile, and walked closer again. She was at arm’s length, now, and the sudden desire to extend his arm and touch her that took Roy surprised him. He kept his hands in his trouser pockets.  The lazy, late morning sun was enough to bring gold reflections in the lieutenant’s hair, but not enough to light her eyes. They were sad, lately.  “Who said you were my ex-boss? If I take care of you, it’s so you can come back faster.”    Roy cleared his throat. He wasn’t sure about coming back just yet. But if he showed it to her, she wouldn’t let go of him.  “Well, maybe it’s time, then.” Roy blinked, and turned his head, to look at the landscape again, offering her his right, unmarred profile.  He stood still, holding his breath, when he felt the lieutenant get closer yet. Something light went to rest against his chest, and he looked down on her hand there sheepishly, keeping his face turned, still avoiding her face.

“What if I don’t want to let you go?”    

Hope you like it and thank you so much for the ask ! (and for the 03 love :D)

[bettsfic]

an update!

i'm back from my travels visiting @lunarriviera and @volturialice! and in a couple weeks i'll be leaving for my residency, which i'm a little nervous about because usually i'm neck deep in a project before a residency and so i get a lot of work done, but right now i'm just playing around with a few story ideas and making minor progress on fic wips. i'm going to put my faith in the universe and tell myself i'll have my agent's feedback by then and i can get started with revisions on Skinless. i guess a month-long residency is the best possible place to work on the unfun kind of revisions, so maybe that's not a bad thing.

since i'm not really writing, i've gotten into some new things:

i started playing honkai: star rail which is super fun and i highly recommend it for people interested in genshin impact who are hesitant to play because it's become so enormous, or who aren't interested in real time combat. honkai: star rail is turn-based combat and still in version 1.3. i started playing genshin in 1.3 also, and i've managed to keep up with it for 2.5 years but i can't fathom trying to get into it now, which is why i never recommend it to people. 1.3 is a great time to get into a hoyoverse game.

speaking of "so enormous it's impossible to get into," i finished one piece (live action) and loved it, so i started one piece (anime) and ngl, i'm a little daunted. a watch guide i read said i had to get to episode 44 to really decide if i would want to invest in watching the rest, but 44 episodes is itself a commitment. i've never really been able to get into a shonen anime, so i'm not sure if it's worth it. any insight here is appreciated.

aaand i started watching the F1 series drive to survive which is 8000% my shit. very excited to get caught up.

many, many people have asked if i've watched the bear. i watched season 1, loved it but not as much as people seemed to think i would, and i plan to watch season 2 soon.

i have a lot of unanswered asks which i'm trying to get through so i'm sorry if i haven't made it to yours yet. i can't guarantee i'll answer all of them before my residency but i'll definitely make an effort. and i'll probably have my ask closed through october so i can focus on whatever i end up working on.

[dropthedemiurge]

2023 Year Results

I have lost my ranking of favorite Thai BL/QLs that I made during half of the year, so I'm just going to write it anew^^

My Top BLs by the end of 2023:

1. Be My Favorite

2. Moonlight Chicken

3. Not Me

4. The Eclipse

5. Semantic Error (or if we talk only Thai series, then Bad Buddy!)

Honorable mentions: Only Friends, SOTUS, Laws of Attraction, Kieta Hatsukoi, My Ride...

I keep changing the places and Moonlight Chicken held such a strong place in my heart but now I'm also taking into account whether I liked all pairings and characters, so BMF finally took over. But I still can't decide whether The Eclipse is higher than Not Me, I might rewatch it endlessly but Not Me was a cultural reset :D As well as Semantic Error who's done so good and finally broke through the typical Korean BL setting and public's favor.

Bad Buddy has done amazingly as well but there are only 5 places in Top 5 ranking 🥲 I guess, the Our Skyy just dimmed my good memories about it a little bit x)

I love how this year we got shows that have expanded beyond the borders of usual BLs, they added mystery and mystic, action, time travelling, sitcom etc, mixed gentes, kept speaking out about many important things - from marriage legalisation to equal rights - that definitely had its own impact on real life, actors went on many fanmeetings overseas, from West to East, and overall... This was a good year, story and fandom wise.

My Fanfic Statistics

I stopped writing metas and somewhat distanced myself from the fandom when I felt that my views often didn't align with majority (and also got shadowbanned by tumblr?), but I wrote ~ 80k words on AO3 and drew >10-15 arts that I really enjoyed. I still have many wips so look forward to them!

I wrote way too many Only Friends fics whole I watched the show xD This was definitely a show that gave out ideas (and sometimes outrage) and lots of angst.

But Not Me fics are still my number one (though mostly because of all the crossovers with other series I keep writing about)

Also somehow Bad Buddy OT4 fic is now the longest fanfic I've ever written (both in Neglish and my native language). And it's still not finished but tbh even I don't know exactly how it will end, that's how self-indulgent this is but I'm so happy rhat many people were excited about this idea with me!

My Fandom

I also had a blast having various discussions in my own small community and people who wanted to share opinions and watch series together. You guys keep inspiring and supporting me in exploring many ideas, drawing art and writing many fics, I truly admire and adore you all, especially my fam @springkitten @xagan and also @thepancakelady @wereflamingo (I'm surprised how often we agreed with each other on somethjng but that's what makes discussions interesting xD).

Also I want to hug bad buddy server was a joyful discover this year too that inspired me to start learning Thai, our not me server that keeps being my safe comfort space and many hugs to some tumblr folks who I talk in replies and reblogs (I am truly bad at remembering usernames but if I ever chatted with you here, I am definitely thinking about you and your profile picture <3)

Here's to 2024 and more projects

I also started my FirstKhao AU visual novel, and though I thought I would be able to make it in a month or two and then got struck by Health Doing Bad for a long time, I'm definitely determined to finish it next year.

And we keep talking about making Poetry Zines with @springkitten inspired by lakorns/bls we watched and I'd like to try and make it happen 👀

I also want to return to commissions in a better way, because of political situation I haven't been able to continue drawing for my foreign friends but thanks to my other friends who are generous to help me with handling finances for me, I might be able to start drawing requests again! I also spent like 5 months fixing my health that kept me from creating I want to finish old ones and I'm really itching to return to drawings and other projects :D

And I have in my mind mastering pixel and 3d art as a part of my Changing Profession and Career Path in 2024 so let's hope I can lighten up everyone's mood with cooler art and animations 👀

Happy New Year and Happy holidays, everyone!

[violetvelourr]

How long I have been doing art

People occasionally ask me how long I’ve been drawing and that question gets me utterly confused 😅 um, probably since I remember myself?.. 😅

First of all, big reveal. I’m old. Much older than you probably ever guessed. Because I’ve been doing digital art since 2003, and I was not exactly a toddler at that point, he-he. Don’t ask me my age though – I’m still a lady and I consider it impolite 🤭 but that might actually answer the questions of many teenagers why I don’t particularly interact much 🙈

So anyways, now we have settled my “art career” span. But saying “I began doing digital art in 2003” – well… I don’t want to do that, because people will be like, “whoa, 20 years”?! And will freak out at such a prospect – 20 years to get to my level, which is, frankly speaking, far from professional. Not to mention that before digital art I also drew traditionally quite a bit.

But the main reason is because “doing digital art since 2003” does not equal “for 20 years”.

How about we revisit these years and look closer at my digital art journey? I can’t promise that I will recall everything 100% accurately, but I’ll do my best.

So around 2003-2004 I tried drawing in Photoshop for the first time. It was an image of a lion, and to be honest, to this day I’m hella proud of myself.

Yes, first attempt. Yes, I drew with a freaking mouse!

My second piece from the same year span is the “Dancer”. oh yes, the remakable hepatitis skin tone 🙈

To be honest, I don’t recall having a drawing tablet that long ago, I'm quite sure I got it only in 2008, but looking at it, despite its flaws, I can hardly believe I drew that using a mouse… I’m not sure, it’s a mystery. The Lion was definitely a mouse artwork.

From thereon I abandoned digital art for a while due to studying, then work, and finally online RPGs…

In 2008 I posted my first digital WIP after a 5 year break.

Oh my gosh... Remind me to never try realism again, clearly not my thing 🙈

I think I was trying to draw an avatar for myself, which doesn’t exactly justify drawing a woman aged probably around 40 🙈 I was not that old!! As far as I can see from my journal, that artwork crashed and only this snippet of it was what I had left. I think it’s for the good. I ended up commissioning the avatar from a proper artist, ha-ha…

Over the span of 2 months I posted 5 more digital art pieces, none of them ever completed actually 🙈 And yes, behold how ugly they are...

My ambitions were growing faster than my skills were improving. The piece with the couple with that naked girl is my special pain because I even attended a digital art course by an amazing artist I was really looking up to back then – Anry – to try and finish this piece, but I failed miserably. I was the only person in that course (5 day 12hr/day intense course) out of 15 people who came “just for fun” – the rest were pursuing a professional digital illustrator career.

This is what I left off with after that course.

In this collage you see on the left what I came with, the middle – what the teacher did after I explained my concept, and on the right – my attempt to take the piece to its final form. But I could never accept that the base was made for me and not by me...

It still grips my heart when I look at it because it was one of my greatest fails. I think that to die peacefully, I need to finish this artwork 😆 If anyone is curious about the story behind this artwork, I’ll post it separately.

Anyway, as I said, I didn’t reach my goal, was hugely disappointed in myself and dropped digital art in April 2008.

However, I came back 1.5 years later, in November 2009, when I got into anime 😂

I think that’s also when I first tried Paint Tool SAI. Up until March 2012, I uploaded roughly 20+/- digital artworks/WIPs. The quality was a bit inconsistent, but I was beginning to get the hang of it a bit, finally. Here are some of them (yeah, the span of the mood is extraordinary):

So, in 2.5 years – merely 20 artworks. Just to compare, in 2022 alone I made 75+ artworks, which doesn’t even include animations and stuff I considered to not be proper artworks.

So, my last artwork from that period was in March 2012 (the one with the winged dude blocking the way for the girl), after which I abandoned digital art again, for good this time. I actually thought - forever, to be honest.

I’m not sure what happened then. I guess I just lost my motivation, got over my fictional crushes, was depressed and not happy with myself…

Problem is that in reality, I don’t have any imagination at all. Part of the reason why I always suspected that despite being quite decent in drawing, I would never succeed as an artist, so I could only say that my dream was to draw for Disney. But I knew I never would. And I knew I can’t do original art. Fan arts – yes, subject to being highly inspired, a feeling similar to a crush. I was too dependent on the mood. But even so… my artworks never were particularly fancy or original, I admit it.

Part of the reason why I’m also so sensitive about AI now. I see people actually living my dream, and I'm so happy for them. Working as illustrators, having an income from what they create... And that is being stolen from them now. That’s why I will probably never accept AI.

Ugh, turned off the subject…

Anyway, as I said, I abandoned art in 2012 and only picked it back up in October 2021 because of Kakashi. 😆

If my math is correct, that’s a 9.5 year break. I have been going non-stop since October 2021, so I would say that my ongoing artistic journey lasts for almost 2 years now. The previous 2-year period with 20 artworks – I’m not really sure about the value of that. The previous 7 digital artworks – even more so.

If I had to sum up my entire digital art journey, – I would say it is around 5–6 years, but in reality probably won’t add up even to 3 years, because the 3 years adding up from a bit of 2003, a bit of 2008 and bits of 2009-2012 had me produce only around 30 artworks, a majority of which were never even completed.

My main progress happened between 2021 and now, so in the last 2 years. And to be honest, I understand that if I am to continue - this is only the beginning...

[nouklea]

Fic Tag Game!

I was tagged by @beri-allen, @writerrose1998, @cosmic-lullaby and @wileyonce. Thanks! <3

20 questions below the cut:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

16

2. What’s your AO3 word count?

136,228

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Wednesday for now. I used to write for StarWars (see question 12) but no traces remains from that era.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Woe of Wrath

I'm on my Way

Variations on a Main Theme - 1

A Second Chance for a First Impression

Five Minutes Earlier

5. Do you respond to comments?

As much as possible. Usually I respond to every comment, even if it's just to say a quick Thank You. The only fic on which I haven't done that is Woe of Wrath, if fell into limbo and I have a hard time focusing on it right now. And I feel kind of weird to answer comments after several months of silence, but the more I wait the weirder it gets...

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Doomed is a Dead Dove Do Not Eat fic. The entire text is dark, including the ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I will go with Double-Date With Dad. Farewell Xavier Thorpe ends on a really good note too (if you are not a fan of Xavier).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

It never happened. Fingers crossed.

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

I try. I find it difficult for two reasons. First, it's tough to avoid clichés. When you read smut, you end up noticing some general patterns, and I do my best to stay away from those. Second, I'm not a fan of some popular kinks, for instance I can't stand the expression "good girl", and therefore I'm not interested in writing it, even if I keep reading authors that use them. Some people probably think my smut fics are boring, too soft, too ordinary. But I don't care (yeah, I do, but shh).

10. Do you write cross-overs?

No. And I have a really hard time reading cross-overs too. And I hate cross-overs in tv shows. Complete respect to authors, however. It's just not my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I guess I could translate my own fics in French since it's my native language, but for now I don't see any reason to do so.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I did. It was a weird kind of toxic partnership. The other person was responsible for writing the general plot (because my ideas weren't good enough), and I had to turn every page he wrote into a three-pages long section, adding descriptions and filling the blanks. And correct the spelling and grammar, and add better vocabulary...

13. What WIP would you like to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope I will finish every WIP I currently have, even if they tend to pile up (WIP bunnies...). My biggest challenge is to go back to Woe of Wrath. It is my first fic, it is a multi-chapter one, and I started to write it just to let the steam out after a twenty-years-long writing hiatus, so the outline was not super clear, there are many plot holes I try to fix, the sentences and vocabulary are bad... I know where I want to take the story and how it ends, but it's hard not to want to start over.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

For fanfics I'll say Weyler because it's the only thing I've ever written. Now besides that... For those who read Guy Gavriel Kay, I'm forever bound to the Diarmuid/Sharra ship, followed by Paul/Jaelle. Quite fond of the Clary/Jace ship in The Mortal Instruments (The books! Don't talk to me about the movie or the tv show!)

15. What are your writing strengths?

No damn idea. I've been asking myself the same question since I was thirteen.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably not being able to answer question 15. Imposter syndrome.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

In French it's not a problem, of course. I've done it in Impulsion. I have studied Latin for two years in highschool so I felt comfortable enough to translate a few sentences in Woe of Wrath. For other languages, I would only do so if I can find a beta reader fluent in this specific language to correct the grammar. I cringe everytime I read English fics with badly written French dialogs, it makes me loose the focus on the story (Same for tv shows, by the way. Come on, you have 2 millions $ to produce an episode and you can't find someone to double-check your French sentence?). It's really hard for me not to comment with a correction (AO3 etiquette: do not provide corrections unless the author specifically asked for it). I don't want to inflict that on my readers by butchering their native language.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars. It was a long time ago (in a galaxy far far away), when there were only three movies and a few books (Timothy Zahn forever!). And for those who wonder how old I am, I used to write with WordPerfect, DOS version (it was the pre-Windows era). It had a blue background (terrible for the eyes) and some keycodes you had to use to change the font to bold or italics. Since you can't visualize anything in DOS (it's not a wysiwyg), it used colors, so you had to remember what it meant (yellow letters meant italics...). And I used to save those texts on a floppy my mom took to her office to print.

19. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It's not a popular one, but I really like Monologue for a Hyde. I like the tone. Pretty happy with Fuck Me Once Shame on You, Fuck Me Twice Shame on Me, too.

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Woe of Wrath without a doubt. With a proper plan, and a lot of plot holes avoided (that damn cellphone...)

I will tag the Death Metal and Glitter Club members whose Tumblr ids I know, aka @anotherbluesunday, @tastethesetears, @darling-gemini, @darlingfuego,

As well as @broken-everlark, @persephoneed, @bithablu, @allergictocolor and @insomniac1994.

[12romy]

What's next for We Should Go On A Hike?

So, guys, first of all, thank you so, so much for reading my fic, and thank you for all the support! Now is probably the moment I tell you…

This is kinda not the end?

Let me explain. This fic was supposed to be twice this long. Like, literally twice, I’m not kidding. My brain likes logical things, no idea why actually, just me and my weird, anxious brain I guess. So, this fic works month by month, Lewis and Seb’s story started in January and was supposed to end in December, with three chapters for one month. 36 fucking chapters of 5k or so each (like I said my brain is weird and likes to be organised with numbers).

Anyway, when I started writing this, I thought I’d get to the end, I really did. I got everything planned (apart from the very end). I just got a little tired of keeping this on my computer without showing it to anyone… So, I started to publish it even if it wasn’t finished. For a while, I thought of just making the fic shorter and stopping it there, with 18 chapters, but… I’ve got so many ideas left, so many things to tell, and I feel like this isn’t over, you know? I’m kind of obsessed with my boys and this stupid little story about their normal, happy little life x)

All this is to tell you that there will be a second part, for sure. I can’t tell you when, however, because none of it is written. I don’t like to publish something long when it’s not finished. It’s not cool for the readers who have to wait for the next chapter without knowing when it’ll get out, and it’s way too stressful for me as well. Like, I get pressured with keeping a regular pace, and my brain gives me anxiety when I’m late on something.

I really can’t tell you when part 2 will arrive, as I have other long WIPs as well… But it will. I just need time to WRITE IT DOWN.

Now, I have hundreds of anecdotes and references in my fic, I can write DVD-like commentary for some chapters if you’re interested… You just have to send me an ask, I’ll be more than happy to babble away about this fic! I could talk about it for hours, it is terribly narcissistic I know x)

Once again, a huge thank you, I was incredibly happy to read your comments every week and completely baffled by how much you guys seemed to have enjoyed this story! Love you guys, take care and I’ll see you soon, in my next fic on AO3, or before that on Tumblr.

Hopefully, it won’t be too long ;)