#guess who doesnt like admitting when he's wrong <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

It's going to get worse before it gets better. (part 2)

Content warning: mention of sexual assault

prev - next

[littlebeluu]

Hi! Hope you're day is going well :)

If it's okay I'd like to request smth for marc, if not just ignore this haha. I actually have a few ideas but just pick the one you like the most :)

1. It's kinda similar to the one you already wrote I guess but reader being insecure cos shes not as conventionally attractive as other wags, like she's not ugly but she's not a model either yk? Maybe also like people online hating on her body and/or weight and she doesn't wanna make a big deal out of it but marc notices and like reassures her and stuff (also in my head, reader is like a really private person who doesnt like a lot of attention, has her social media accounts on private and doesn't post anything except a handful of stories every now and then but that's obvi just me, doesn't have to be like that)

2. Marc reaching reader catalan (in my mind reader can already speak Spanish but that's not a must obvi)

3. Marc teaching reader football and she's just really bad at it haha idk I think it could be cute

4. Height difference (I'm 5'3 haha so this is really a self insert) like maybe reader wearing his clothes for the first time and they're so adorably oversized on her or like just anything about height difference really :)

You can obviously change stuff about the requests if there's anything you don't feel comfortable with or don't like, I don't mind. Sorry if it's too much stuff at once btw, I'm not really good at writing this kinda stuff.

Thanks so much in advance already, I hope you have an amazing day (or night, depending when you're reading this haha)

I'll do other ones too 🫶🏻

I might have some trouble to do the second one cause I also don't speak catalán but I'll try anyway.

"Insecure"

marc guiu x female reader

warnings: none

The car engine hummed softly as Marc and I settled into our seats after training. Our eyes met in the rearview mirror, and I felt a flutter in my chest. Despite the hours apart, his presence still had that effect on me.

"Hey," Marc greeted, his voice warm but tinged with concern.

"Hey," I responded, trying to muster enthusiasm.

Marc's brow furrowed as he studied my reflection. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, forcing a smile. "Yes."

His eyes narrowed, unconvinced. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper.

Marc sighed, reaching for the radio. As music filled the car, we drove in silence, the tension palpable. Every few minutes, I caught him glancing at me, worry etched on his face.

"I'm fine," I assured him, though the words felt hollow.

"You're lying," he said softly, his voice a mixture of hurt and frustration.

I hesitated, torn between protecting him from my insecurities and the need to be honest. "It's just..."

"Tell me," he encouraged, his tone gentler now.

"Why do you think I'm upset?" I deflected, buying time.

Marc's eyes softened as he looked at me. "I don't know, but I've noticed you haven't really smiled today. Not your genuine smile, anyway."

"Of course I did," I protested weakly.

"No," he shook his head. "I know you better than anyone else. I can tell when you're feeling down, even if you don't say anything."

His words hung in the air as I struggled to find my voice.

"What's wrong, babe?" Marc pressed, his concern evident. "You're going to tell me, or..." He trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

I took a deep breath, feeling tears prick at my eyes. "I'm sorry. It's nothing important."

"It must be something if your smile hasn't been genuine in the past 24 hours."

"Yeah, well..."

"Just say whatever it is," he urged, his voice a mixture of frustration and worry.

"Honestly? People have been saying horrible things about me lately," I admitted, my voice cracking.

Marc's expression darkened. "What? Who?"

"It's okay," I tried to reassure him, wiping away a stray tear. "Really. Just forget about it."

"No," Marc insisted, pulling the car over to the side of the road. He turned to face me fully. "What happened?"

I hesitated, feeling foolish. "It's stupid."

"Just tell me," he pleaded, taking my hand in his.

"Your teammates' girlfriends posted photos with me yesterday," I began, my voice barely audible.

"And?"

"Everyone's saying horrible stuff. Like... like I'm the ugliest and fattest girlfriend."

Marc's face contorted with anger and disbelief. "What? Who's saying this?"

"People online," I mumbled, ashamed of how much it affected me.

"So nobody real?" he asked, his tone softening.

"Well, they could actually exist somewhere," I argued weakly.

"Don't even joke around," Marc frowned. "They don't deserve any importance. You shouldn't read comments under their posts anyway."

I sighed, looking out the window. "I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I can't help it. It's like picking at a scab - you know it's bad for you, but you do it anyway."

Marc's expression softened with understanding. "I get it, but those comments are toxic. They're not worth your time or energy."

"You're right," I admitted, turning back to face him. "I just wish I could stop caring what others think."

Marc reached over and squeezed my hand. "It's not easy, but we'll work on it together. Your worth isn't determined by strangers on the internet."

I took a deep breath, feeling vulnerable. "I guess sometimes those words hurt more than others. Like... maybe I wish I had more confidence. Being known is so overwhelming, and I wish I knew how to get over myself. I guess... I envy the confidence of other girls I meet."

Marc's eyes filled with understanding and love. "You're not ugly nor fat, Y/n. You're beautiful, inside and out."

"I didn't say I was, people said it," I protested weakly.

"But you think it," he said softly, his thumb tracing circles on my hand.

"No," I lied, unable to meet his gaze.

Marc cupped my face gently, forcing me to look at him. "Tell me something, Y/n. When was the last time you read something nice?"

I felt a rush of guilt for worrying him. "Well today, you told me something nice this morning. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like such a baby."

"Stop apologizing," he said firmly. "You're beautiful, and I'm so lucky to be your boyfriend. But more than that, you're kind, intelligent, and strong. Those people online? They don't know you. They don't see how you light up a room, how you make everyone around you feel special."

Tears spilled down my cheeks as Marc's words washed over me. He pulled me into a tight embrace, and I buried my face in his shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered into my hair. "Every part of you. And I promise, we'll work on building your confidence together. You don't have to face this alone”

As we sat there, wrapped in each other's arms, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. The cruel words of strangers seemed to fade away, replaced by the warmth of Marc's love and support.

"Thank you," I murmured, pulling back to meet his gaze. This time, my smile was genuine.

Marc leaned in, his lips meeting mine in a soft, tender kiss. It was gentle and reassuring, conveying all the love and support he had for me. As we parted, he rested his forehead against mine, our breaths mingling.

I reached up, running my fingers through his hair before pulling him in for another kiss, this one deeper and more passionate. When we finally broke apart, we were both slightly breathless.

Marc started the car again, but before pulling back onto the road, he turned to me with a mischievous grin. "Now, how about we go get some ice cream and plot our revenge on those haters"

I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in days. "Ice cream, yes. Revenge... maybe we'll save that for another day."

As we drove off, hand in hand, I realized that while I couldn't control what others said about me, I could choose to surround myself with love and positivity. And with Marc by my side, I felt ready to face whatever challenges came our way.

Before we reached the ice cream shop, Marc pulled over once more. He cupped my face gently and gave me one last, lingering kiss. "You're beautiful," he murmured against my lips. "Inside and out. Don't ever forget that."

I smiled into the kiss, feeling truly loved and cherished. With Marc's support and these tender moments, I knew I could overcome any insecurity. We drove on, looking forward to our ice cream date, our hands intertwined and hearts full of love.

[coeluvr]

iirc u said that luceris basically sees himself in mc right?? and now he calls them bird 😭 what a mixed bag. dude kills your entire family, considers killing you, takes care of you when youre sick (at Least that one time), tries his best to inconvenience you as much as possible but makes sure no physical harm comes to you from other people, isolates you from your own culture and makes you his spouse in name only as bait for your sister who apparently killed his wife, has you live in the palace he made for said wife, is absolutely delighted when youre snarky and sassy with him.............. what is his DEAL. i say this so affectionately but there is smth wrong w him <3

anyway does the bird-name calling ever become affectionate? like for e.g. if helios and mc end up together, or just farther down the line for an mc who doesnt want revenge, etc etc? and if he likes birds.... does he call helios bird-nicknames??? or is it just smth he uses to remind mc theyre trapped? he is FASCINATING. i want to study him under a microscope. how did you do this coe.

The list is so funny because he's insane, I have a thing for characters being mixed signals from hell lmao 😭😭

But also he didn't build it for Farah! It was a thing from ages ago and he's not really a fan of it due to past dynamics with his mother and the then Royal Consort, but who cares about that am I right ✨️

I think the nickname is a bit affectionate even if he doesn't admit it lol at least during chapter 3 and later on because of reasons.

I can't see him calling Helios bird-related nicknames so I guess it is just for MC lmao it did begin because he was like "caged little bird" and then it became "little bird" then just "bird" 🐦✨️

I'm glad people find him fascinating, he's a lunatic.

[richardsphere]

Leverage Log: The Long Goodbye

So here we are, at the end of the line. Lets see how this story's original run ended. --- Oh we're stealing a cure for Sam's disease. And a picture of a Sam-aged child as well, give Nate the chance to fix his greatest failure. And just in case the audience didnt figure it out yet, Sophie spells it out to Hardison. --- Ok so the problem isnt the company, its the building they store stuff in being shared with FBI CIA and Interpol servers and everything is classified to high heaven. Also coms are being blocked.

Oh its the return of SuperAI, one of only 3 things they never defeated (alongside Sterling and the Supermarket chain as a whole). Sophie is going to book the theatre next door for her Macbeth play. Parker knows something is wrong when Nate doesnt go on a self-destructive rampage for this one.

Nate and Sophie kiss --- Back to the interrogation, we get a fake-out line (Nate is trying to convince his interrogater the con went South. or at least further South then it actually did)

Everything about this scene screams fake. And i mean both Nate and the Interrogator are lying. I've seen Nate fake enough hospitalbeds and interrogationrooms to know when one is being faked. ---

Nate reasuring Sophie that the play is part of the Con cause he knows its the secret to unlocking her powers.

They beat the steranko with the power of social engineering. --- Call back to the elevator clothing change in episode 1.

Hardison falls down the elevator. (remember, this is not what actually happened, this is the lie Nate is spinning to his interogator. Who disapointingly, isnt Sterling. Feels like he should be in the season finale) Cop carries a back-up around their knee and shoots Elliot (might have really shot him, but no way that standard cops carry shoeguns)

We're at the bridge and Parker Hardison and Elliot are dead in Flashback!Nate's memories.

Nate and sophie pull a Thelma and Louise and try the bridge-jump, car stalls on the bridge. --- Interrogation, Nate slams the table with his fists. Interrogator claims the identity of Hardison Parker and Elliot have been confirmed from the bodybags. (not like we havent faked a corpse ID before).

She leaves him, she goes to verify Elliot definitly got shot but no way a tiny shoegun is gonna beat kevlar.

She thinks they entered through the elevator shaft (my guess: they didnt, elevator is their exit. The CCTV footage of elliot getting shot is a fake) and feigned a roof access with the balloon.

Their real goal is the data on the server as well, or at least its a side-goal. (not saying nate gave up on the cure, but the cloud itself?) Interrogator admits its not a hospital room, asks what told Nate. He goes full Sherlock.

Flashback shows Parker hacking into servers (cause of course). Turns out apparently she did break in through the elevatortunnel (i still say thats a getaway, must've been a third entrance im not thinking of.) Did i just notice a shot from within a vent during Sterlings entrance? Parker is watching. --- Wait is Nate stealing the 2008 financial crisis? Thats what they're stealing. The ultimate "and the adventure continues"storyhook.

"Justice or Order, and one day you're going to have to make that choice". 9/10, guess that Interogator isnt Nate's mark Jim is, he's priming him to betray Interpol.

Turns out this is the real reason they moved to Portland. Nate had Hardison track down the weakest link in the cloud so they could steal the cloud. They're stealing THE CLOUD, and making it look credible.

The lock is biometric. But its also a STERANKO, Parker and Hardison couldnt crack it, so they're tricking Jim into opening it to get to Parker who isnt in there. The rest of the team is alive and pretending to be Interpol. Jim just opened their doors. If the file only entered the server now that means they're stealing it now otherwise they'd have mistimed the entire heist (and they're too good at that) --- Thats a convincing fake Hardison... but Jim sees through it instantly.

Sophie didnt go on stage (of course she didnt), which means she was the one performing when Investigator went to the theatre. Nate was Shooty GunGuy. Parker entered as a detective (the ballon was real) I maintain the elevator is their exit.

Anyone reached by phone was Sophie, (im stupid for not realising that sooner) I was right (they faked a failed heist to get Jim to open the servers). I was also right about the tunnels being the exit not the entry. Interrogator thinks our heroes will escape in the audience, they're actually actors.

Jim isnt stupid, "now we're even, tell Sophie to drive carefully"

"actually, Justice is always easy". Simple line, 8.75/10 --- Nate is gonna propose.

"you have always had my back... Now, be on my side" great line. 10/10.

"Did you steal it?" "No... but I'll steal the first aniversary ring" Nate knows he's fucked up, (seriously Nate, you're better then this.)

And we get an answer to the "Sophie's real name" mystery. (Laura, except it isnt) --- And we're back to the Original Leverage Speech, given by Parker (affirming my suspicion that she was Nate's successor.)

--- Good season finale. Nate is alive, Leverage International is a thing? (i dont actually know what it means, but i think i'll see when we get to the reboot series) and the adventure continues.

Gonna get myself a little break for now. But will definitely go for the sequel series at some point in the (probably very near) future.

[ragnars-tooth]

okay here are the ratings of chris dlaceys casting :D!! but only david zanna liz and tam because thats as far as i got and i dont have my book on me to check the rest of the casting 👍 

okay so first up! ben barnes as david (thankfully not young johnny depp): i see it but i just dont think he really works for david, a little too chiselled imo

i think that they should just time travel and get young chris dlacey to play david honestly 😎 like ben barnes is very davidcoded in these pictures i’ll admit but somethings kinda just off?? anyway he could play david but there could be better actors for him anyway I DIGRESS. ONTO ZANNA!

alright so for zanna he chose either gemma arterton or gemima rooper! and what can i say i disagree. but also agree. like they both have some of the general zanna feel but theyre just kinda off like

sort of like if you put zanna thru a pressure washer?? anyway they both work pretty well ig but honestly its hard to tell without zannas typical style (goth and stuff) to really hammer in the zanna feel so i remain neutral

NEXT UP- emma thompson as liz! honestly a pretty good choice overall but her features feel a little idk. sharper than i see liz with

also i think shes skinnier than liz would be, she’d be chubby at LEAST in my opinion,, i also feel like she would have a lot of freckles but i mean thats flexible

last up for now is a quick review of tams casting! my opinion has changed since when i first did this im now a colin farrell tam truther

so tam was cast as colin farrell, who im guessing his appearance was based off of a lot because,,, same last name and they look very similar. colins a bit more idk square? than i picture tam but honestly he fits quite well i mean look at this 👇 

like he doesnt necessarily look quite how i imagine tam but i think he has enough of the vibes that he could definitely play him and also there are a lot of silly pictures of him that i think its funny to imagine tam in lol

AND THATS ALL because i cant check for the other casting since im in class </3 and also should probably get back to my work fghjgfdghjgfdsfgh

hope you enjoyed my review 😎 please feel free to say your own opinions on the cast >:) (also iirc this casting was from the back of fire world or fire eternal? cant rllly remember tbh)

HELLO! I got stuck in corporate hell for a bit there soz but I made notes and realised I had more opinions about this than I thought lmao

(Disclaimer off the top: I’m quite faceblind so characters are mostly disembodied vibes to me but I Tried to find actors to fit my points)

Ok so:

David – Ben Barnes (I am so glad I was wrong about the Johnny Depp thing you have no idea)

I wrote exactly one thing about this and it is as follows: ‘he looks like he knows too many things’. I’m a Ben Barnes boy at the best of times but fr he looks too put together and like he could name more than five countries. I think I’m a bit too used to him playing badass characters too and sorry but david just isn’t </3

Zanna – Gemma Arterton/Gemima Rooper

Both of these women look like they would host bake off (this does not disqualify someone from playing zanna) It’s so hard to tell when they’re not all gothed up, zanna through a pressure washer fr 😭😭

Gemma Arterton feels closeish for me I think! She needs grunging up though. Zanna is a henry cavil kinda thing where whatever actress plays her needs to get hotter when fucked up (affectionate) yknow? The opposite of ‘she polishes up nice’

In googling her though I did realise why d’lacey thought of her for sure:

Him and his one goth girl reference fr

Liz – Emma Thompson

I think personality-wise she would be soo good as liz but fr there’s probably someone out there who would be a better visual match

Weirdly enough my first proper exposure to Emma Thompson was when she was Mrs Lovett in sweeney todd so initially I was thinking maybe she’s a good Gwillanna?? But now I just think she’d be a funny cameo as like… Agatha Bacon, or Mrs Gee or something?

Tam – Collin Farrell

This is literally hilarious to me. I am losing my mind. Tidy him up a little and whack some glasses on him and I’ll take it.

(I am now legally obligated to draw tam as obscure collin farrell images)

[wioaase]

guess who drank again?

its me. i thought altered states of consciousness were supposed to unlock more creativity but i got nothing lmao. anyways i wanted to write something? not proofread cuz i cant think rn <3

i wanna write something kinda hard but i feel like all im capable of is soft? yn tired of being mistreated and gives up on relationships all together and the boys try to make them feel better / take them out to prove that relationships (specifically with them) would be worth something?

chan

hates seeing you upset like this

completely understands

doesnt want you to give up completely

takes you out to dinner as just friends

you go back to your place for a movie afterwards

he tells you that you deserve better

that the nice dinner you had together is what you should expect from a partner

what he'd do for you

you think his confession / admittance to this is kinda silly until you see hes serious

"please yn. let me show you"

how could you say no to your best friend?

acts like a bf for the rest of the night

ends with yall either falling asleep together or "falling asleep" together

miniho

makes fun of you until he realizes youre actually upset

then feels kinda bad about it

agrees that relationships are kinda dogshit

because both of you have come to the same conclusion you spend more time together

during this time he realizes he may have been wrong

doesnt know how to bring up that hes changed his mind about relationships / is scared of ruining the bond youve made so far

stays quiet for a while until you make a comment about wishing dating could be as easy as it was hanging out with him

mindlessly states that you could just date him and itd be easier for both of you

doesnt register as a serious statement until you see him kinda flustered

you give it a rest for a day before asking him about it

doesnt want to pressure you into anything, tells you youll still be best friends regardless of his comment

shut him up by kissing him

surely you can try relationships one more time

changbin

absolute princess

would do the most after you get rejected / decide that other people arent worth your energy

easily buys you ice cream / is always able to clear his schedule whenever youre having a bad day and really need him

would never admit to crushing on you

lets you hang out at the studio when you dont want to be alone but have no where else to be

admires your company

doesnt realize his feelings until you continuously complain about none of your dates working out and all the people you see being shitty

jealous binnie

during one of your visits to the studio its just him and theres a bouquet of flowers in a vase you dont think too much of

he cant take you not saying anything / asking about it anymore

shyly begs you not to go on any more bad dates with people you meet through apps and to let him take you out just once

you take him up on his offer thinking hes just being a good friend

isnt until the end of the night you realize that he means more than friendship

butterflies butterflies butterflies for both of you

maybe ends in hand holding walking you home and maybe maybe maybe a kiss on the cheek as he drops you off

thinks about this night while laying in bed and kicking his feet / blushing

hyunjin

doesnt understand how you could give up on love?

love is everywhere

how dont you see it?

makes an effort to point out the nonromantic examples of love whenever youre together

you more or less roll your eyes because he knows what you really meant

he knows too but doesnt know how to show you without directly asking you to give him a chance

during one of your hangouts you make another joke about being alone forever

he hates seeing you hurting and cant do it anymore

cups your face in his hands

"please"

he almost looks like crying

you dont understand why but you make an effort to try and be more positive about relationships in your life

seeing you smile at an older couple as they go about their daily routine has him thinking about what life would look like if you two were together

thinks its a phase and tries to get over it but starts to paint you (oops)

eventually you find some paintings and ask him about it and he has to confess

youre scared of change but he promises you wont lose him even if things dont work out

puts a ton of effort into your first official date and is such a gentlemen it gives you butterflies

maybe you were wrong about relationships being hopeless

han

i love this man sm

would wholeheartedly agree when you rant to him about your most recent shitty date and tell you that all men are trash

your declaration that youve officially given up on relationships gives him the idea that he can freely flirt with you now

it started as a joke but the more he said it the more he genuinely believed it

didnt realize that he had caught feelings until you brought up maybe trying dating again

makes him sick to his stomach

after you go out on another date you want to meet up and talk about it but he makes up an excuse not to see you so you have to share the evening over text

hes terrified that youre going to replace him and hates himself for feeling that way but at the same time wants to be the only person that you need to depend on

you think his excuse is weird but text him regardless rather than telling him everything in person

hes secretly relieved when you say that you dont intend to see them agian

even more relieved that you told him over text cuz hes grinning like an idiot rn

decides to do something before you want to go on another date with someone thatll just leave you broken

does something omega cheesy like invite you over for your usual movie night

rose petals and candles and a card inside a bouquet

card defo has some shitty pickup line in it but it makes you laugh

baby boy is nervous but you just hug him and say sure

he thinks hes dreaming at this point and looks at you with heart eyes for the rest of the night

felix

would encourage you not to give up

offer to look through peoples dating profiles with you in an attempt to vet the shitty ones

the more he was helping you build your profile and look at potential candidates the more he wanted to say no to every potential match you had

makes a joke about dating you instead of going through the hassle of trying to find someone to date

what begins as a joke ends up weighing heavily on his mind and keeps him up at night

what if you two went out?

what would you say if he asked? would he be rejected? laughed at? ruin the friendship completely?

after this would be relatively quiet when you asked for help with dating

just tells you to trust your gut

youd have to physically go over to his place and confront him about it before hed tell you anything about it

would still be hella nervous

you find it cute though and tell him yes

he starts planning the next cafe date asap

seungmin

tells you youre unlovable

youre used to his tough love and accept it

delete any dating apps you had and officially give up on trying to meet other people

youre content for a while until it finally gets under your skin that everyone around you keeps nagging about finding you a relationship

you ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend to try and get everyone to stop asking questions about your personal life

he spends the entire night flirting with you and genuinely acting like boyfriend material

it fills the void in your heart momentarily

he considered it just helping out a friend but since that night hes seen you differently

have you always been that pretty?

eases off the harsh teasing and tries to compliment you more often

you notice eventually and make a comment

he brushes it off as nothing

youd have to instigate anything if you want things to go any further but some of that playful flirting has carried over since you asked him to pretend

jeongin

doesnt really understand why you care so much about being in a relationship in the first place?

like it genuinely doesnt make sense to him

if you have friends that treat you well why would you need anything more?

starts to worry that maybe he isnt doing enough as a friend

ups the game while unknowingly fulfilling boyfriend criteria

spends all his free time with you. texts you on breaks. finds himself thinking about you whenever hes not allowed to contact you for extended periods of time

performs better when hes able to hear your voice / see your face the day before a big event

would need someone else to point out that his feelings are growing past platonic

probably freaks out a little bit and ignores you for a day or two

plays it off as being sick even though you knew he was busy with other schedules

eventually confront him on it

isnt able to tell you exactly what hes feeling but does tell you that he doesnt like being apart from you

you think hes over exaggerating until you go out on another date with someone you dont know and one of the other boys texts you saying that jeongin is sad and youre the only one who can make him better

you try and joke with him to lift his mood but nothing helps

you fall asleep on video call with one another and when he thinks youre asleep he confesses

"sleeping angel.. i love you.."

you have to pretend to still be asleep despite hearing him or else hed never acknowledge it

when youre ready you can approach him and ask about it

until then though you can expect him to keep protecting you from a distance

[choccorin]

YAYAY IM HAPPY THAT THEY TOOK YOUR APOLOGY WELL and itsokay im also a coward in conflicts like i try to avoid drama but somehow i end up being part of smth ??? WAIT STORY TIME HELP SORRY THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY LONG 💔💔

ok for background context i used to like this guy last year (he… was not the best person but shh) and we got really close like he considered me his best friend but he knew i liked him so it was like really awkward sometimes when he would just stare into my soul and it gave off the vibes of “i know u like me and i will make u miserable!!” BUT ANYWAYS he forced me to confess (kinda) like he msged me and said smth along the lines of “i know you like me and just be honest.” why did he put me on the spot i do not know but i found no point in lying cuz apparently when he was at this competition a few ppl were talking about my crush on him?? i dont know how other ppl figured it out???

I MEAN OK TO BE FAIR I WAS REALLY OBVIOUS but also i didnt openly admit that i like him !! whenever classmates would ask id always say like “no i dont” or that its none of their business but they just love to get into anything relationship crush related like this isnt middle school anymore 💔 ang immature talaga nila pag nalaman may crush yung isa sa classmate ☹️ ANYWAYS ppl took that answer as “yes i like him!!” so they would just constantly talk about it whenever they see the guy so that explains why they were talking about me at that competition (i wasnt even there.) but he rejected me and i dont like him anymore. we are still good friends i suppose bc he still tells me everything HELP

anyways to the actual drama thats still happening rn its been like 3 months ..!

throughout that entire thing im afraid that there was a girl (shes my classmate currently) who was LITERALLY WISHING ON MY DOWNFALL BC SHE LIKED THE GUY TOO AND STILL DOES. like girl you can have him i dont like him anymore !! but shes been talking shit about me since ive been around him recently + SHE THINKS I STILL LIKE HIM. im usually a touchy person w my friends if they let me but it isnt even romantic or anything im just “abusive” (which is what they describe me as) since i sneak up behind them and slap their shoulder as hard as i can. HELP I PROMISE THEYRE FINE W ME DOING THIS IM NOT ONE OF THOSE PPL WHO JUST DO IT FOR NO REASON 💔 I DO IT BECAUSE THEY BULLY ME BUT ANYWAYS THIS GIRL REALLY DOESNT LIKE ME TOUCHING HIM (this sounds so wrong out of context..) shes really mad about me being close to him like im sorry he wants to be my friend?? im not stopping her from talking to him nor do i care if she does. im like 99% sure she was crying yesterday because i slapped his shoulder. i feel bad but i also dont bc she can go slap him too….. its not that special gang

she also calls herself an “outsider” and thinks the guy doesnt care about her since he doesnt talk to her. miss girl i think hes just creeped out by how you treat his friends LIKE IF I WAS IN HIS POSITION I DONT THINK I WANNA TALK TO SOMEONE WHO HATES ANY GIRL I INTERACT WITH

IM GETTING OFF TOPIC STOP BUT shes been spreading a whole bunch of rumours and talking about me with her friend group (who also hates me bc of this) and im pretty sure she thinks idk about what shes doing because whenever she talks to me its always strangely nice or asking me for academic help. like at this point i dont know the answer to the chem homework either stop asking me since you hate me sm!!

im praying she stops being like this bc shes genuinely a nice..??? person. shes just weirdly obsessed w the guy and will do anything to stop him from interacting w any girls other than her. LIKE IF WE IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE SHE DID shes a decent person that i could be friends with. i cant even apologize to her or anything since I DONT KNOW WHAT TO APOLOGIZE FOR?? “hi im sorry for liking and slapping the guy you have a crush on” LIKE THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE HELP but ill just let it marinate i guess and hope for the best 😓😓

IM SORRY IDIDNT THINK THSI WOULD BE SO LONG I HOPE EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE IM TOO LAZY TO READ IT OVER 💔💔 i hope u dont mind long asks pookie

- 🐙

OMG SAME !! i avoid drama but got caught it in during ninth and tenth grade :'3 so i'm trying to be cautious about the friends i make and also trying to keep my circle small </3

oouugghff knowing that someone knows you like them is sooo awkward AND HE STARES AT YOU TOO ??? i would pass out on the spot ... i hate those types of classmates na laging nasa business ng iba .. ESPECIALLY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS !!!! i think may ganyan talaga every grade. except for college, i think. since mas mature na mga tao dun but you never know. AWWHHH GOOD FOR YOU !! i personally wouldn't be close friends with him after that because people might get the wrong idea </3

SEEE, I TOLD YOU PEOPLE WOULD GET THE WRONG IDEA !! 🥹🥹🥹 why can't she just ask you if you still have a crush on him like she's making conflict for no reason at all. ( •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀ )

why do girls have to go through phases where they go insane over a SINGLE BOY !! but i guess it's a canon event and they'll just grow out of it .. but! three months is actually so long ?? how do you deal with that 🐙 anon ... i would be so fed up and just confront her about it. i hope she confesses to the boy soon and he rejects her ( i assuming he doesn't like her ) so that this situation will be over. 🥹 if you let it marinate, it'll either get worse or get better, no in between! ( trust me, i've been there. )

ANYWAYS! i don't mind long asks, i love them a lot actually :3 it feels like chatting with a friend :33

[xcyberhex]

well, guers

well, guess who decided to show up after saying ‚this is going to be smth like my diary‘

but to be fair, not a lot has happened since then, ive been going to work like a slave, like 3-4 times a week.

nothing happened with b since i found out, that he was only trying to get A in bed, yet they still hang out a lot.

i started going to the gym, ive been going for like a month now, ofc we took a lot of breaks but that doesnt change the fact that ive lost abt 10ish kg.

i started watching twitch again, since uni hasnt started yet and im bored out of my mind doing nothing all day long.

the people are nice, the streamer is someone who ive been watching on youtube and tiktok for a while.

i didnt know, that his streams were that good, and that the people in his stream are that nice,

yet i do feel kind of odd when joining the vc on discord.

i joined after being scared for like 2ish hours not knowing if i should join or not.

after i mustered the courage to actually join, they left after like 10ish minutes, maybe less since theyve gotten tired and 2 of the people, including the streamer actually being asleep in the vc.

i do like the vibes, theyve given me courage to talk to my colleague, because she yelled at me for no reason.

at least thats what i still think, even after we‘ve talked about it.

she admitted, that she was wrong to yell at me, eventhough ive done nothing so far, the only thing i did was complain about me having to go to register 1, after telling her in how much pain i get from being there and actually having painful headaches.

glad we could talk about it like adults, but i still feel very odd about this happening and her lowkey apologizing but also trying to argue, as to why she was yelling at me in the first place. whatever.

let bygones be bygones.

i have nothing else to write tbh i dont know what i should talk about,

nevertheless, im glad, that i could get it out.

tuesday, 17th september 2024

[pyladescares]

found a draft from earlier this year, when paramilitary activity was up again.

i know it sounds dumb and preachy to say all this, but i want to grow up in my country, learning gaeilge and being able to wear my school uniform without worrying about the 3 diff paramilitaries near me that are still active. my life is much better than my parents but there is always the idea and possibility that history would repeat itself. I AM CONSTANTLY SCARED. THERE IS ALWAYS THE THOUGHT IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD THAT THEY KNOW, THAT WHEN I TURN THE CORNER I WILL BE SHOT AND KILLED AND MY NAME WILL END UP ON A PLAQUE SOMEWHERE BECAUSE THATS ALL MY GOVERNMENT CAN STOMACH. I AM A TEEN AND I AM SCARED OF A CONFLICT THAT ENDED 20 YEARS AGO COMING BACK. I AM A NORTHERN IRISH PERSON WHO IS NOT DEFINED BY THEIR RELIGION BECAUSE I AM A PERSON, NOT A THING THE ENGLISH CAN USE TO TEACH IN SCHOOLS INCORRECTLY BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO ADMIT THEY STARTED IT. I AM A PERSON TORN BETWEEN TWO SIDES, BOTH OF WHICH ARE WRONG.

I AM A PERSON. I AM NOT CATHOLIC, I AM NOT PROTESTANT, PLEASE, TREAT ME LIKE AN AMERICAN.

I WANT TO BE FREE LIKE AN AMERICAN WHO DOESNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS. I KNOW OTHERS SUFFER MORE THAN ME BUT PLEASE FORGIVE ME I AM A SCARED TEENAGER WHO JUST WANTS TO GO FOR A WALK WITHOUT SEEING ANOTHER BURNT OUT CAR. IF GOD TRULY CARED ABOUT MY LITTLE COUNTRY HE WOULD MAKE EVERYONE LOVE EACHOTHER LIKE I THOUGHT THEY DID WHEN I WAS A KID. IF GOD LOVED MY LITTLE COUNTRY HE WOULD STOP THE POLICE FROM LECTURING 6 Y/Os ON WHY THEY SHOULDNT MAKE BOMBS. IF GOD LOVED MY LITTLE COUNTRY HE WOULD REMOVE ME FROM IT AND PLACE ME IN AMERICA, WHERE YOU CAN BUY THINGS EASILY AND YOU DONT FEEL OUT OF PLACE, PLEASE GOD. I WANT TO BE FREE LIKE AN AMERICAN.

(dont know why i wrote this in all caps, i guess it was appropriate???? if this seems weird to ppl from ni plz know this was bc my parents were shittin themselves and going on about how 'its happening again, lol)

[magnoliamyrrh]

just in case i don’t want to talk abt this any more tw incest u could just delete this

horrific n downright wrong. i wanna say u n everyone else includin that anon did not deserve this n the collective u deserves so much more but i am so grateful seein people talk abt this. i was raised w the extreme pressure that my gen was goin to break the cycle of that type of abuse n i have to come to terms that we didn’t n that’s ok at least to me. it’s so hard to admit to n so impactful to say out loud but it’s what has to b done. it a type of trauma that’s been in my fam for many many yrs n i gaslight myself into believin that we broke it. i stayed in denial n tbh still am in denial bcuz it’s so hard to blame a fam member. esp for me a girl n a teenage girl at that. this isn’t always the universal reaction so there is no guilt if this isn’t the case or if it is but u still luv them no matter what they did it’s so hard to blame them. but sexual abuse is sexual abuse. i hope to god every day that when i have children that will b when the cycle is broken n it all stops but i will never put the verbal pressure on them the way my parents did. one of them was a victim of smthn v extreme so i do not blame them (there it is again) but it’s torture to feel like u let them down when u did nothin wrong. admitting is always the first step to healin. i’m so proud of u for talkin abt this n that anon n everyone else.

ya! i think even though its uncomfortable as hell and disturbing its important that we talk about it. thank you <3 im proud of everyone who pitched in too, and of you, thank u for sharing; its really not easy. i dont think this is the sort of thing we can heal from individually, you know? especially when its a cultural thing. theres so much shame and fear and repression surrounding this kind of stuff, and the only way were gonna heal from it is if, like u said, well start accepting it and talking about it

and yea youre right it is really hard. like my father crossed any possible line with what he did and he abuses his wife too and. i really just want him dead like i dont give a damn, i have to try to calm myself bc i get too focused sometimes on how much i actually want him to suffer. but even with him at times im like,,,, ,, eh but i still care abt him? i went through a whole phase where i felt like it was my responsabilites to help him or like heal him from how deranged he is lmao. but it doesnt last long. but with everyone else its different. (?) like. i realized like idk a year ago that uh yea my grandma did lowkey molest me and it actually made me feel fucking insane. i had no idea what do with it and i still dont?? and its fucked and definitely not ok but like...,,, we all pretend like its fine or just didnt happen i guess bc its,, normal? acceptable??? its weird as all hell, most of the time i just kinda try to not think abt it because i have no idea how to even feel abt the woman when i do. if anything as much as it definitely kinda fucked me up, im frankly way more pissed abt the physical abuse/beatings and endless insults and yelling and shit - like that actually probably did more damage to me. but still like idk yea i .. idk if i excuse it but i definitely explain it like oh she didnt know better etc etc etc. but that doesnt.. ugh it doesnt excuse it?? but i still love her and care for her?? its a fucking nightmare to try to detangle all that. and the shit w my mom too and other family members like uh yea it grosses me out and definitely got to me, this combination of being raised as property + controlling parents + sexualized + actually being whored out by father has k.o.d whatever mental sanity i could have had and it took me many years to.... idk. even start remotely working through all that. but. i still care abt them...?? i think the fact that its no longer happening and dont rly consider it on the same level as the shit w my dad makes it kinda different in my head but its still not fucking ok

and yea. definitely one of the hardest parts of it is being blamed for being uncomfortable/grossed out or even punished for being so when rly thats such a normal reaction to have to this shit. it is psychologically torturous and it is gaslighting and it rly fucks u up in the head..... and its really hard to get to the point where u dont feel like u did anything wrong or you werent to blame. i do presume that w this particular kind of shit tho a lot of it is that they probably went through similar stuff, internalized and repressed it, never dealt w it, and then just proceed to do the same

i hope to god too ill be different. i want to believe in both of us and this new generation that we'll do a better job. i think the fact that were even talking abt it shows some progress u kno. my mother and grandmother told me for many years that i wont do a better job than them and its just normal for kids to be raised w beatings and yelling and insults and controlling behavior and all that shit,,,, but. ive always been terrified of that. since i was little i knew if i ever had a kid i wouldnt want to put them through any of this. if i cant break the cycle id rather not raise a kid at all. at least for the past like year or two my mother has actually accepted that some of the shit she did wasnt okay and that she was abused by my grandmother too and..... apologized??? which was insane. so. idk. its been a long and weird fucking process. but. i dont think its hopeless

[stonerzelda]

LONG ASS DIARY ENTRY LEVEL RANT ABT MY DAY INCOMING!!!! literally dont worry abt reading it i just NEED to get this down on paper/text cuz i am exhausted as FUCK okay. Alright. Nobody is allowed to bitch at me for it this time okay ive bitched at myself enough today!!!

Anyway so basically it started with me missing out vital information that i was working with someone i never met today, who was busy helping out other departments bc she doesnt actually do housekeeping primarily but i was so busy sobbing about my coworkers cat who i NEVER even met yesterday that i didnt. Catch this when it was mentioned to me gahdh.

So im panicking bringing all 3 carts up to the 5th floor, I start a room that was previously requested to be done early as she had a pedicure appt at 11:30, i wasnt supposed to be the one doing it but i was olone and freaking out so i was like fuck its gotta be me. I start it and maybe 20 minutes in somebody Politely comes up to me and asks if i knew where the other cleaning supplies were, and instead of putting 2 and 2 together (person in uniform ive never met on my floor + asking abt cleaning supplies = The Person That Is Fucking Helping Me Today) my big brain decides to VENT like "honestly idek whats going on, somebody was supposed tk be helping me but i guess they never even showed up 😠" and she just looks at me like "😐 thats me. I was here at 8am, I just had some kinda important things i needed to help out with." So. Cue me doing the classic 😳 face and start spewing apologies, admitting I was literally SUCH a MASSIVE fucking dick for no fucking reason + huge idiot for not figuring that out, she's immediately very forgiving and mentions that she did a 15 hour shift yesterday cuz SHES A FUCKINGE PARAMEDIC��️‼️‼️

So yEAH im never ever ever ever ever gonna live that one down. Anyways once im done annoying her with more apologies and i finish my room, i start on the rooms im assigned that are closest cuz it just makes sense right? Wrong cuz now ive pissed off a resident cuz he hasnt done his dishes yet and was expecting me later on today, so he lectures me about messing up his routine which is fair, but then he goes on abt how i need to figure my shit out meanwhile the only reason this is happening is because MY routine was messed up. But explaining that to a 90yr old is literally pointless so i take the L. Then the OG room i did's resident calls me over and complains that i didnt do anything, meanwhile i sanitized + dusted + vacuumed + mopped every square inch but i didnt see the clean linens she HID IN THE FUCKING CLOSET so i had to go back and make her bed before her appointment, then finish the second guys room, then try to start on another ladies room who politely came by to ask me to do hers next, and so on and so on and so on and so forth.

BUSY BUSY BUSY FUCKINGE DAY then the paramedic girl asks me for help on a room that smells particularly bad, but then she gets called to cover for someone else- i already feel terrible so im like no problem, ill finish your room dont worry about it (thinking she would come back- she didnt)

So all in all i did 8 rooms, re-did 2, then got abandoned and i had to stay an hour after my shift was supposed to end to throw the dirty mops and rags in the wash/take out the garbage and i STILL didnt get tk the 1st floor bathrooms. Rip but my boss never called me back when i tried to ask him abt it so ill just do it thursday lawl.

Then i come home and spend 2 hours helping sweep up turf dirt in the rain so swag. Anyways diary entry over thanxxxx bye

bruhhhhHHHHHHH ive been forcibky put on break bcos ive had sucj a clusterfuck of a morning at work today lmfao FACK!!!! Ill talk about it l8er for now im chain vaping (not a thing but who care) and listening to my emotional support alien ant farm peace and love ✌️😖

[denkisauce]

<3 todokiribakudeku headcanons <3

these 4 are my endgame and im stuck inside with covid so here are some headcanons! jfc this got so long

they all do each others hair!

kirishima has to bleach + dye his hair once a month and usually deku and bakugou do it together to get it done faster. its a pretty soothing activity for all three of them. kiri tends to cut his own hair but will ask one of his boyfriends to get the back for him. bakugou is the most trusted with a pair of scissors but kirishima's not picky!

todoroki doesnt care who cuts his hair but bakugou does 😡 says his hair is too pretty to let someone else fuck it up so he's a little possessive when it comes to shouto's hair. he obviously would never admit to that, he just,,,, loves the feel of running his fingers through those silky strands 🥺

now deku's hair? i love pro hero deku with an undercut but here's my concept -- it fucking sucks lmao. todoroki usually does it for him and it's hella uneven and despite being a super famous top ten pro hero, deku just like.... doesn’t care. isn’t even aware. neither of them are. bakugou tries to tell him and deku's just like ‘haha yeah <3’ and just continues to go about his life asfhgsdfkj once every couple months bakugou insists on cleaning it up and making him look presentable. deku honestly cannot tell the difference

kiri can also give a decent undercut! but he doesn't really notice when deku's hair looks bad. deku can simply do no wrong in kiri's book

bakugou? bakugous the only one of these idiots that actually goes to a hair salon zdjfhbldzf

cooking!

we all know bakugou is The Cook but i don’t think it makes sense that he would be the only one cooking, wouldnt be fair!! so they deff all doing the cooking and baku teaches his boyfriends enough for them to share the work

kiri in the kitchen: he’s prob the best at prep. he helps a lot in terms of prepping food for a bunch of days and then bakugou cooking them, so it’s baku cooking but kiri does all the work. when he's the one making dinner fully he tends to get a little experimental with the spices and stuff without knowing what he’s doing and his boyfriends insist that he keeps things basic lolol

deku prob takes to cooking pretty well but he’s not an improviser. bakugou taught them all a bunch of basic meals they can pull out whenever and he's great at those, and prob does the most cooking after bakugou. he can also get pretty impressive with a recipe! but ask this boy to improvise and suddenly he doesn't know how to boil water. a real recipe binch. he also likes to bake!

todoroki is the least competent. he really doesn't have the patience and he ends up burning things a LOT. Because of this he’s asked to cook the least. He makes up for it by washing dishes and setting the table and stuff. On nights when he’s asked to cook he usually just orders take out and every one is pretty thankful

Ok bakugou!! We know he can cook and his boyfriends rely on him that gooood food like the main event type shit and he loves it. sure he cooks regular food during the week and stuff but i think bakugou has an art when it comes to slow cooking and shit. like starting a ramen broth a week in advanced for a big friday night dinner?? its a practice in patience for him, he finds it meditative

my jewish ass thinks big friday night dinners are the backbone of family so fuck it I guess they’re doing shabbas now -- they make these big dinners on the weekends that they have down to a t. kirishima does most of the prep and deku makes dessert that is sweet and delicious <3 him and kiri make side dishes and todoroki is just like, in the kitchen passing his boyfriends utensils and spices. Bakugou always impresses them with their delicious main courses and todoroki some how fucked up a salad. All is good <3

i just! cooking is a ritual! making a meal together and then sharing it is a love language and these bitches are in love!!!

Sleeping!!

They have a big ass bed and weird for a couple (quadruple?) but they sleep with their bed against a wall! bc bakugou likes to sleep next to the wall 😷 he has a fairly deep windowsill where he keeps his phone and tea and stuff <3 and!! a lil cactus :3

deku sleeps on the outside! he is the most chaotic sleeper with the worst sleep habits out of the 4 so its good for everyone that he can easily slip in and out of bed like 5 times a night. with easy access to his phone so he can jolt awake and write down notes like 10 times a night too

Kirishima and todoroki sleep in the middle in no particular order. They’re both the cuddliest and usually sleep all tangled in each other.

thank god those two are heavy sleepers because bakudeku are weird in the middle of the night. bakugous a p light sleeper and deku accidentally wakes him up pretty often. this leads to whispered bickering which often leads to them smacking each other over todokiri which often leads to them making out over todokiri which often leads to them shuffling everyone so that deku can come squeeze in next to kacchan. todokiri are very used to waking up in a different order than when they fell asleep

but even besides the night bickering, probably twice a week deku takes a middle spot to sleep next to bakugou because they love each other!! diametrically opposed sleep schedules be damned <3 deku is working on mastering the art of shimmying out of bed silently, and starting to get it lmao -- still working on the not accidentally activating full cowling at 3 am bc he stubbed his toe trying to sneak off to eat graham crackers tho. he's a night klutz!!

kirishima talks in his sleep. gibberish but also that creepy kind of half-lucid seeming conversation that makes no sense and are hilarious. bakudeku love regaling kirishima with stories the next morning and these always crack him up. he loves it. bakugou and deku started a tiktok account dedicated to kirishimas night time ramblings and it got extremely popular asdgdgfcn

todoroki my sweet prince my sweet baby. heavy fucking sleeper who will wake for nothing <3 this boy is dead to the world once hes asleep <3 the kind of sleeper where deku finds himself checking shouto's pulse because he hasnt moved in so long??? doesn't snore either just. a dead fucking rock. todoroki is a regular guest on the kirishima sleep talking tiktok bc bakudeku like to fuck with him seeing what they can get away with. so far its everything sdfhgsakdfhkdhf

yeah 4am bakudeku is just such a flavor to me. especially 4 am bakudeku with chaotically passed out todokiri on their hands asdgdfdhd pure mischief.

deku kirishima and todoroki are mad cuddly sleepers, bakugous the type to cuddle before bed but once he's ready to sleep he kicks the others away from him and smashes his face into the wall <3

ok holy shit that was long but i just love them so much!!! pls feel free to add headcanons <3

[hajihiko]

Big fan of your work, and I’m sorry if this comes off as rude but I just wanna info dump or else I’ll go crazy

I still respect your interpretation of fuyupeko but I think it’s debatable those two are as dependent on each other as ppl say

There’s major themes of Fuyuhiko pushing Peko away

1. In the splash art of them growing up, Fuyuhiko is never looking at Peko)

2. In Fuyuhiko’s Island Mode ending, Fuyuhiko explicitly say he needs to stop running away from Peko

3. In Danganronpa S, Fuyuhiko’s first instinct is to brush off Peko but he corrects himself saying he still needs her. In the Peko and Sayaka convo, Sayaka expresses she needs to be independent to not bother her friend, but Peko says her friend is probably happy to be relied on

4. The fact in SDR2, Peko lies about almost everything about herself (she saids she has parents in freetime, she calls Fuyuhiko her childhood friend and negates that in the trial), and the only time she was truly truthful she states that all she wants to be is remembered by Fuyuhiko

5. In Fuyuhiko’s talk with Akane, he states he never told Peko he was grateful for her. And in Peko’s freetime, Peko states as a child, Fuyuhiko would cry and call her scary

I do think Fuyuhiko and Peko’s relationship is strained from Peko being taught she was only a tool but I think it’s also comes from the fact Fuyuhiko never communicates with Peko that he actually likes her as a person. It still hurts me that when they were on a dangerous island where anyone could murder, Fuyuhiko told Peko explicitly not to talk to him, the one person she could trust on the island. Like who can blame Peko for thinking Fuyuhiko resented her.

Anyways, sorry if none of this made sense. I hope you’re not mad.

NO AUGH WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED DONT READ YET IM NOT DONE closenur eyes

ok done now

Nah not mad! I just think maybe I have a very different way of interpreting info, which is fine (we all do tbh), but I appreciate a respectful differing view.

Anyway, disclaimer, my memory is brittle and I havent consumed all DR content so some stuff is not available to me.

I'm gonna do this in numbers too just bc its easier

I dont really put a lot of stock into the art anyway? I dont know which one this refers to

same as in 3. with trying to distance himself from being too reliant on the family, possibly also being distant by trying to adhere to their roles, more on that later

I remember some of Fuyuhiko's deal being that he doesn't want to rely on the power of his family of everything, and that extends to Peko with her being his protector. I think the fact that he thinks e needs her, but doesn't want to, actually just plays right into my view of them (this one, Fuyuhiko not wanting their relationship to e what it is but admitting that he doesnt know anything else and would be pretty adrift without it).

I didn't know that! That's interesting. My memory might be wrong, but wasn't some of that because Fuyhiko instructed her to keep their affiliation a secret? And since the clan is all she knows, she had to make stuff up?

I could believe that Fuyuhiko never actually thanked Peko for her services, their whole job status being messy as it is. I dont know about that second thing, but I remember something about Fuyuhiko crying because he could sense that Peko was worried / she was trying to reassure him but without smiling or anything, something about them being kidnapped. Still doesnt really negate my view on them, just once again that they wanna be there for each other but somehow just can't.

Ok so, re: that little comic, I guess I should say: I dont think they were that sweet with one another all the time, and in fact kind of want to imply that while they *were* friends as kids, as volatile as kid friendships can be, from that point onwards they did start to grow into their roles and their own seperate ways (for worse). Fuyuhiko being an overly aggressive and angry dickhead a lot of the time, trying to fit into what he thinks he needs to be, and Peko being the 'tool' that she tries to pass as in the trial, actually kind of thinking she knows what's best for Fuyuhiko instead of talking to him one on one as a friend. When I say they were reliant on each other, I dont mean they were emotionally close, I just mean they literally define themselves a bit by the other (the game does this also), because they're not sure what to be otherwise, the other being the only peer they know closely. Like Fuyuhiko says (cries) in the trial, he needs Peko, and Peko is so consumed by her role that she did the whole murder thing.

Fuyuhiko pushing Peko away and Peko refusing to back away makes sense to me in the lens that Fuyuhiko wants Peko to be more than his walking talking sword, and Peko takes her duty seriously/is unwilling to lose the one person she has a connection with. Fuyuhiko is taking dumb clumsy baby steps at not needing Peko there all the time, even though he kind of does, and Peko doesnt see what's wrong with their relationship as is (and therefore thinks she can base a murder unit because she doesnt see how it wouldnt make sense that she doesnt count as a person). Fuyuhiko also absolutely dogshit at communicating and could have avoided a lot of this with some anger management and more thoughtful speaking, but i think part of the tragedy is that neither of them knew any better because what they were doing was all they'd ever been expected to do.

I always understood the whole "dont interact w me" thing to be a, a) a way for both of them to be normal classmates, which would be good for them, and later b) scheme to protect the both of them and give them advantage in the game. I cant say I ever saw it as pure callousness on Fuyuhiko's part- rough and clumsy attempt at being helpful, maybe- and I definitely can't agree with that read. I think maybe Peko could have seen it that way, in being that she wants to be relied on and be useful and that being rejected means she's being rejected, but Fuyuhiko states that people tend to be wary and suspicious of him (for good reason) so however harsh, I think it was always gonna end in Peko's favour, in or outside of game. Whether that was explicitly planned, I dont know- probably not- but I dont think it was just him being a dick.

Anyway! I don't know if this reply makes sense, but I'm not like disagreeing just to disagree! I replied this in-depth bc I was interested in answering lol. This is just what I mean by fundamentally different reads. This is how *I* understood the events based on my own brain translating it, doesnt mean yours is any more right or wrong, just different people processing things differently.

[wonwoonlight]

📣: Wonwoo // enemies to lovers-ish i guess // angst?????? but not rly no // somewhat fluffy too // 6000~ words hahahahhahahahhahah this isnt a drabble

A/N: thank you for the request, anon! just to be clear, this fic doesnt give an accurate representation of memory loss bc i tried researching but it doesnt... really tell abt what i was looking for so, yeah. also, the way med school works here is like uni, which is why wonwoo's break is a bit long so if the med school in ur country doesnt work that way pls ignore lol but tbh the med school background isnt rly important here. im gonna write a long ass AN at a different post abt this fic so if you feel like seeing me rant, you're welcome to do so <3 enjoy :D

find the rest of requested drabble here

For someone who claims to hate you, Wonwoo knows quite a few things about you more than he’d like to admit.

One, he knows you live alone because the reason you’re here is to pursue your medical degree (and get a job too, obviously). Two, he knows you’re the closest to Park Chaeyoung, a Korean by blood who’s lived outside the country more than inside; Wonwoo figures the both of you find comfort in each other for being foreigners. Three, he also knows the only reason you’re hostile towards each other is because you simply started off at the wrong foot and refuses to be civil with each other quite immediately after that.

Lastly, he knows there’s just no way he’s called in the middle of the night by the hospital for you because you ask for him.

Wonwoo stares at the doctor in front of him with eyes wide open, glancing at you who’s fast asleep on the bed. You’ve fallen back asleep after asking for him, the nurse in charge quickly going through your phone to look for a ‘Jeon Wonwoo’ and has someone notify him about it.

“What do you mean she’s lost her memories?” he asks once again, not believing what he just hears even though the way your head is wrapped with bandage says enough.

The doctor explains how you hit your head to the side of the road because of some irresponsible cyclist going too fast, eventually bumping into you and then fell down on you after losing his balance. Your body doesn’t sustain any major injury, but your head has taken the fall for colliding into the stone brick firsthand.

“Is it…bad?” he asks, his mind busy recalling the few stuffs he’s read about amnesia even though he has never actually learned it himself.

“Apparently, she forgets the events of the last few months to almost a year before,” the doctor patiently answers. “It’s all a blur, she tells me. But she doesn’t completely forget everything, just that she forgets a lot of details.”

After another half an hour of telling Wonwoo stuffs that he thinks the guy should know, the doctor finally leaves, telling him to take care and ‘have strength’ because you can still have your memory back even though it might take a few months at least.

He sits down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you as he wonders why did you not ask to call for Chaeyoung. Though it wouldn’t make any difference, Wonwoo thinks. He knows the girl is back in Australia for the semester break and he could only imagine what she’d do if she finds out.

He sighs, figuring he’d have to notify her too one way or another.

[01:03 AM] Jeon Wonwoo: SOS. Text me when you’re available to talk.

[05:54 AM] Park Chaeyoung: ??? r u drunk

[05:54 AM] Park Chaeyoung: is2g if you’re making up shit

This is going to be one long semester break.

“What the fuck do you mean she lost her memories?” Chaeyoung curses from the other end.

“I mean just that,” Wonwoo sighs in annoyance, though he does feel bad for her. “Apparently, she asks for me and that’s why I’m here.”

“Why on earth would she ask for you?”

“How am I supposed to know?” he huffs, slightly lifting up the curtain to see the sun barely up. It’s somewhere around 6 in the morning, Wonwoo has just woken up from his uncomfortable sleep with his neck and waist screaming in pain from sleeping on a chair. When he comes to, he checks his phone only to see Chaeyoung replying to his text and figures he should deliver the news and be done with it. “She probably doesn’t remember she hates me.”

On the other line, Chaeyoung goes silent and Wonwoo lets her be. He knows this kind of news isn’t easy to take, even more when she’s literally in another continent and can’t just come back to help the person she considers her own sister.

Before neither of them can say anything more, you groan in your sleep, making Wonwoo turn to you. He quickly tells Chaeyoung that you’re waking up, and he can hear her sniffles a little before softly asking him to take care of you, the softest she has ever spoken to him. So Wonwoo says yes and hangs up.

Wonwoo keeps quiet for a moment, just in case you’re going to go back to sleep right after. But you sluggishly open your eyes, eventually looking up at him as you try to sit on your bed. Wonwoo comes closer to help you, avoiding your eyes because he’s never been this close to you before and it’s flustering him for no reason at all.

“How are you feeling?” he decides to say and sits down on the chair near you. “Head okay?”

You nod a little, thanking him when he hands you water to drink. “You’re… Wonwoo, right?”

There’s an unexpected sting in him at your question and your unsure gaze. It must’ve been frustrating, knowing you should know this and that but you don’t. “Yeah. They called me but you’re already sleep when I arrived.”

“I’m… I’m sorry if we’re not close or anything,” you fidget, and Wonwoo actually feels bad seeing you so… small. This isn’t you; you’re supposed to roll your eyes at him, glare at him when you can’t come up with a good come back, or give him that annoying triumphant grin when you get the last words. “But you’re the first name that rings in my head so I ask the nurse for you.”

There’s an awkward smile in his face, but Wonwoo tries his best to hold it back so you won’t be even more uncomfortable because, even though he never experiences it himself for obvious reasons, he knows it must’ve been scary to you. You don’t even know who he is, but now you’re looking at him like he’s the only one that can help.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you. “Are you really okay? Should I call for the nurse?”

“Just a little lightheaded,” you tell him honestly. So Wonwoo does exactly that, all the while listening carefully to what the nurse says when she’s examining you.

Not long after that, your doctor comes in to check up on you. He says something about not being too worried, because it might be short-term and you might get your memories back sooner rather than later. You look scared, Wonwoo notices, but he can see you visibly relax when you catch his eyes and he sends you an encouraging smile.

“I… need to go back and wash up,” he tells you after the doctor leaves. You look at him with uncertainty, as if afraid to be left alone without him by your side. It’s not a look that Wonwoo would ever imagine coming from you to him, but his heart warms a little at it. “I’ll be quick, I promise. And then I’ll come back and we can talk about stuffs that might help you jog your memory back, okay?”

You nod, because you also feel bad for keeping Wonwoo here when, by the looks of it, he’s not even your closest friend or anything. You’re sure he’d freak out more if he was your close friend or, dare you assume, boyfriend. But Wonwoo is calm and has just looked more confused and a little uncomfortable.

At least he looks like he wants to help, you think to yourself.

Wonwoo stays true to his words, already appearing back in your room not an hour later, and takes the seat near your bed.

“Okay, um…” he begins hesitantly. “What do you want to know first?”

“We aren’t close, are we?” you shoot straight to it, the most certain you’ve ever been since you come to.

“Well, no, I wouldn’t say,” he answers truthfully. “We go to the same med school, share some classes, umm… We… talk from time to time, but not to the point where we’re close.”

For now, he decides that’s the best he can tell you. You already look scared and lost as it is, there’s no use in telling you the nature of your relationship. He’s been thinking about it during the short while he’s not in the hospital; how much shittier would you feel if you find out the first person that you seek isn’t even your…friend?

“How did we meet?” you ask curiously. You wonder if you used to have a crush on Wonwoo before and are just too shy to do anything about it. Surely, if someone like him is in your class he would at least serve as your eye candy, right? Plus, he’s kind enough to accompany you like this when you’re just…acquaintance, apparently.

Wonwoo chuckles awkwardly, remembering how that’s exactly why you both went down the wrong road, still going at each other’s throat until this very moment.

“I, uhh, I wasn’t looking and you were in a hurry so we kinda bumped into each other and I might’ve spilled my coffee all over you,” he scratches his head, unsure how this version of you would take it.

Surprisingly, you let out a small laugh that sends a handful of butterflies in his stomach. “What a meeting. Your impression must’ve been strong to me.”

He shifts in his seat uncomfortably, then changes the topic just so you won’t start asking about how it goes from there. He talks about the little things he knows of Chaeyoung, someone that you also only remember by name, and then promises to video call her when you’re ready, and he talks about school stuffs, some you recall, though mostly not.

“Have you checked your phone?” he asks, only know realizing your phone is intact on the table.

“No,” you look down to your lap. “I’m… afraid.”

“Because you might not remember everything?” he asks pitifully. All this time, the only side of you that Wonwoo’s familiar with is your snarky side; one that’s skeptical and confident, not unsure and afraid like this. Seeing you like this is weird, not because he’s not used to it, but because he can feel something stirring inside him at the sight of your hunched figure.

At your nod, Wonwoo offers to accompany you look through it if you want, that he would try to help if he can even though he might not be much of help if it’s not about friends from school. So you agree, and Wonwoo is able to help more than he thinks he could; he’s able to tell you about the class you enjoy most and ones that you don’t really care for, able to tell you about your habit of drinking iced (‘it has to be iced, I’ve never seen you with anything hot,’ he says) coffee for your first class no matter what time it starts, able to tell you about some friends that you’d sometimes hang out with.

“You do know quite a lot about me, huh?” you ask jokingly, not knowing the way Wonwoo’s heart jolts at this particular tone you usually use at him everytime you beat him on Professor Jung’s exam. He can vividly picture it in his head, the way you’d walk past his table to say something along the line of ‘looks like someone’s barely passing, huh?’.

Wonwoo knows what makes his heart jumps isn’t only that, though, it’s the fact that he doesn’t even realize he knows this much about you. Has he actually been paying attention to you?

He shakes the thought away, and the nurse comes in with your lunch just in time to stop your conversation. There’s watermelon on your fruit plate, and you hand it to him because you don’t like it. Wonwoo scoots closer to your bed, eating your fruit as you talk some more over your lunch.

It is only when you’ve finished eating that Wonwoo realizes he actually likes this—talking to you over meals with no hostility in between.

He wonders if it’d be like this if he’d just said sorry that time and helped you clean up instead of fighting you back.

A week later, you’re already discharged from the hospital with Wonwoo in tow.

“You ready to go home?” he asks, and the sentence feels more intimate for no reason at all that Wonwoo averts his gaze from you to his phone almost immediately.

“Can’t stay here forever, can I?” you ask back, which makes him chuckle at the spark of familiarity. Being with you almost 24/7 for a week, Wonwoo has learned that your sarcastic way of speaking is just the way you normally speak.

When you both arrive in your apartment (Wonwoo gets the passcode from Chaeyoung who shares the apartment with you), the space suddenly feels too big for you and it’s overwhelming. It’s also sad, because this place used to be your home, it should be familiar—and even though it doesn’t feel foreign, it doesn’t feel like home right now.

You roam around to your room, and then peek through Chaeyoung’s from the door, hoping something will hit you, but nothing really stands out and it’s more than frustrating.

“Hey, don’t force it too much,” Wonwoo finally says after a while, noticing the way your fingers are digging into your palms. “How about we video call Chaeyoung now? Didn’t you say you want to go home first before finally calling her?”

You turn to Wonwoo who’s standing near the sofa, and you nod before sitting down there with him. “She… she won’t be mad that I don’t remember her, right?”

“Oh, [Y/N],” he calls your name gently. “She’s literally your closest friend here, okay? And she’s been so worried that she texts me everyday to make sure you’re okay. She’s been wanting to call you too, but she’s refrained from doing so because I told her you’re not ready yet.”

For the next two hours, Wonwoo simply watches you talk to Chaeyoung from the side. At first, the both of you are crying—Chaeyoung, because she’s too worried, and you, because Chaeyoung is crying—and Wonwoo’s pretty sure he would’ve mocked you for it if this was the old you, but right now he just feels bad and he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t like seeing you cry.

Not the tiniest bit.

He has to hold himself back from wiping your tears, settling for handing you tissues and a glass of water instead.

“I’m okay, I promise,” you tell her when the call is about to end, relieved that you don’t completely forget about some memories Chaeyoung has been sharing with you. “Just a little dizzy now, maybe because you help me recall a little. The doctor says it’s normal.”

“We’ll talk some more later or tomorrow, okay?” Wonwoo hears her say. “I have to go in a bit and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Don’t forget to take care!”

You chuckle a little, something at the back of your mind tells you Chaeyoung has always been this kind of friend and you’re relieved at the recollection. “Yes. Wonwoo’s here with me too, so I’ll be okay,” you shyly say, missing the way Wonwoo widens his eyes while Chaeyoung coughs to hide her reaction before eventually hanging up.

“Should we order pizza?” Wonwoo asks before things get awkward. “You know, to celebrate your homecoming?”

You laugh at his choice of words, but nod anyway. Pizza with Wonwoo doesn’t sound so—

“Why are you here?” you frown at Wonwoo, the guy simple shrugs as he annoyingly bites into his pizza. “You don’t even like pizzas!”

“Who says?” he rises his eyebrows. “I loooove pizza. And who am I to say no to Seungkwan’s free food?”

Beside him, someone sends you an apologetic look, mouthing an apology and a promise to make it up for you.

“You invited him, didn’t you?” you turn to someone else.

“Does it matter who invites me?” Wonwoo chirps in. “Just sit down and eat.”

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Wonwoo quickly holds your shoulders as you wince at the sudden wave of memory. “Did you remember something again?”

You weakly nod, the pounding in your head won’t stop and you can barely see Wonwoo’s worried eyes.

“Do you… do you know a Seungkwan?” you ask once the headache dies down.

“I—yeah, he’s, uh, kind of close with everyone,” he answers. “Did you… get to remember him?”

You shake your head, taking the water from his hand. “Not really, no. But, have we… eaten pizzas? With Seungkwan?”

Wonwoo hesitates for a second, but he eventually nods and tells you yes.

He still remembers that day because it’s hasn’t been that long ago; Seungkwan has called some people over for pizza night as a celebration of the semester ending. Wonwoo has told him no at first, telling him he wants to sleep for a week straight and his social battery is practically nonexistent. But when he hears from Mingyu you’re coming, he has quickly made his way over just to bother you even though he doesn’t even feel like eating pizza then.

“It hasn’t been that long ago,” he honestly tells you. “Only 2 weeks ago at most.”

He’s met with silence, there’s a frown on your face as you try to put the puzzles together in your mind. Your words and Wonwoo’s from the memory ring endlessly; are you… not in a good relationship with Wonwoo? But he’s been so kind to you the past week?

He barely even leaves your room if not because of the visiting hour and because he needs to come home and wash up.

That doesn’t make sense at all.

“Do you want to lay down and take a nap maybe?” he asks, still worried. What else could you possibly remember now?

At your nod, Wonwoo helps you to your room, asking you if you still feel like eating pizzas or if he should order something else. But you shake your head and tells him pizza should be fine, that you just need to lay down for a while because your head feels heavy.

When you wake up again, Wonwoo isn’t in your room. You walk out to find him asleep on the sofa, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his head uncomfortably leans back on the head rest. You slowly make your way to sit next to him in hope your weight wouldn’t wake him up; it doesn’t, but Wonwoo grunts before turning a little to you.

There’s a part of you that wants to ask Chaeyoung what’s the nature of your and Wonwoo’s relationship, but would it be too much? Just because of one memory?

But didn’t Wonwoo say it has just been roughly two weeks ago? Then why were you questioning his presence to the point where your friend—Seungkwan? was it? —has to apologize for Wonwoo being there? Didn’t Wonwoo say you were just…acquaintances?

You look up right when Wonwoo’s starting to wake up, he groggily opens his eyes and you don’t even realize you’ve been sitting so close to him that his face is right in front of yours. He blinks a few times, as if trying to figure out why your face is so close to his, but you quickly stand up and walk to the kitchen.

“When did you wake up?” he asks instead with a yawn. “Is your head better?”

“Not too long ago,” You nod at him as you return with the pizza box. “Definitely better. Did I sleep for long?”

Wonwoo looks at his phone before answering you. “Maybe an hour or so. You’re really feeling better?” he asks again, noticing the conflicted expression on your face.

You nod again to reassure him, and when Wonwoo softly mumbles to himself he’s glad you’re feeling better, you decide you’re not going to pry about your relationship with him. However it was between the two of you, it shouldn’t be bad enough if he’s right here with you, right?

If it’s that bad, he wouldn’t continuously try his best to take care of you since day 1, right?

Maybe it was just those friendly fights, you try to convince yourself. Maybe you just enjoyed arguing with him and he, you.

Yeah.

That must be it.

The week after that, Wonwoo says going to school might be a good idea because you spend a lot of time there, and you need to go to administration to officially take a semester break, anyway.

You take a deep breath once you get off the bus with Wonwoo, both hoping you’ll remember and afraid just in case nothing happens.

“You’ll be fine,” Wonwoo squeezes your shoulder. “Don’t force it, okay?”

It’s something that he often says to you, because he knows you often try to force the memory out by staring at something that seemingly important to you. This does nothing but frustrates you and, more often than not, you just end up with a useless headache.

“You’re already remembering a lot too, aren’t you?” he says, reminding you it’s okay to take it slow.

“Yeah, but there are still a lot of missing pieces and sometimes I’d either dream or suddenly think of people with blurry faces,” you pout. “It’s scary.”

“You still have those dreams?” he frowns, you’ve told him about it a couple times before and he remembers how disturbed you are even though it should be a good thing that your memories are coming back little by little.

You nod, absentmindedly linking your arm with his as you walk to the building. Wonwoo blinks at the touch, but doesn’t have the heart to move away nor even comment about it so he lets you be.

He likes it, anyway.

“Oh?” someone exclaims from afar, calling you both loudly as he makes his way to where you’re at. “Well, aren’t you two cozy,” Mingyu grins when he notices the way you’re holding on to Wonwoo.

The sight of Mingyu alone seems to trigger something within you, though, and you stagger back at the sudden wave of pain. Wonwoo quickly puts his arm around your waist to hold your weight, and Mingyu looks at him in panic, not having any idea about your condition.

“Well, don’t you look cozy in your hoodie,” Mingyu says from beside you.

“Don’t you shut up ever?” you glare at Mingyu.

“No. It’s a part of my charm,” he grins shamelessly. “Why? You like the quiet type more?”

You roll your eyes at his words, trying to step away from him. “I like people who’s not associated with Jeon fucking Wonwoo. So, obviously, I don’t like you. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

You walk away from Mingyu, but he quickly catches up, easily falling back into steps with you. “Do you know that you two actually match each other really well? Wouldn’t be surprised if you end up dating once you decided to end this dumb feud.”

“And I wouldn’t be surprised either if my shoe ends up in your mouth,” you glare at him once again.

Mingyu puts his hands up in surrender, though the teasing grin in his face doesn’t falter. “You owe me Chaeyoung’s number if you end up with him!”

“I’m okay,” you say once you’re able to get back to your feet. So many thoughts are swirling in your mind and you’re pretty sure your head doesn’t only hurt because of the memory rush but due to the revelation that you’re still denying.

Are you really in bad terms with Wonwoo…? Wonwoo, who has been with you for almost a month now, taking care of you days and nights? Wonwoo, who makes dumb jokes out of nowhere and never forgets to tell you to slow down and rest?

You look up at his worried face, a frown in his face with his arm protectively around your figure. There’s nothing but worry and concern in his eyes, so why…?

“Should we just go home?” he asks instead, and you can feel the arm around you tightening a little. You glance at Mingyu behind him, too speechless to say anything.

“No, we should at least take care of my break,” you tell him as you try to step away from him a little.

Wonwoo’s face subtly falls at your movement, but he quickly nods and figures you’re just disoriented. He points at where you’re supposed to go, telling you to go first because he needs to talk to Mingyu about something.

Any other day, you would’ve waited for him because he seems to be the only certainty in your blurry life and it’s a little scary to be doing things without him. But today’s not any other day and you actually do need time alone to collect your thoughts no matter how short.

All the time you’ve spent with Wonwoo seems to make you forget Wonwoo wasn’t even your friend when he first came through the hospital door. He was just a classmate, you have assumed—a colleague. He himself said you weren’t close.

You remember wondering about the nature of your relationship with Wonwoo before, and you’ve closed the possibility of him being someone you don’t like because he was, still is, taking care of you earnestly.

Some memories regarding him have been coming back too, if you’re being honest. But you didn’t tell him because you were always arguing with each other in those memories, they didn’t last long enough for you to get the context of it; but almost every fight was childish by nature which is why you have just assumed that’s how your friendship with him was.

But now that you think about it, Wonwoo wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable at first if you’re actually a close enough friends that can argue with each other without getting hurt.

Maybe you’d have to call Chaeyoung tonight.

“Hey, careful!” Wonwoo pulls you to his side, concern written all over his face and it’s only now that you realize you almost bump into the pillar in front of you if not for him. “Are you really okay?”

The worry in his voice is clear, and yet you suddenly doubt everything about him after the episode earlier. You try to rationalize with yourself; even if you were in bad terms with him before, that doesn’t erase the fact that he’s been restlessly taking care of you when no one else could, does it?

Furthermore, doesn’t it just say about how good of a person he actually is if he’s taking care of someone he doesn’t like?

You flinch at the thought. What does he think of you, really?

Should you just ask him instead of calling Chaeyoung?

You don’t realize when Wonwoo moves to face you. But when you do realize, his palms are gently cupping your cheeks to search your eyes thoroughly, and you look back at him, trying to see if there’s any deceit in his eyes. He can’t be faking it to this extend, can he?

What do you know about Wonwoo, anyway?

You frown at the sudden thought. Yes, Wonwoo has been taking care of you greatly all these times, but do you actually know him?

“I’m—I’m fine,” you answer him at last, your hand goes to hold his for a second before letting go. “Let’s just finish this and… I want to go home.”

Wonwoo lets go of you and nods, biting his lips at the way you’re suddenly avoiding his gaze.

Did you remember? But it’s been only roughly a month? Doesn’t it usually take months to recover loss memories?

Most importantly, why does it scare him?

📷

It’s two weeks after that day and you’re still too afraid to confront him. But it is a fact that sometimes you become too conscious around him, and Wonwoo probably notices this even though he doesn’t say anything about it.

Even so, his genuine concern and the way he earnestly takes care of you still brings butterflies to your stomach, often prompting your heart to run a little faster than normal when he’s too close and his fingers slightly brush yours.

It is only when Wonwoo texts you he can’t come today because he’s promised Mingyu a long time ago to go somewhere with him on semester break, that you realize you’re almost always with Wonwoo ever since you woke up from that concussion.

You try to count back to the day of the small accident; it’s been roughly a month since then and the few times you spent your day without him can be counted with your fingers. Almost everyday he’s by your side even when he doesn’t need to—like when you met up with Seungkwan in hope he’ll be able to jog something within you, or when you went to the places Chaeyoung has mentioned to be your favorites, even when it’s midnight and you couldn’t sleep because the blurry faces are haunting you.

You still remember that night vividly even when you fell asleep without you knowing. You woke up because of another blurry memories, head pounding and heart beating fast out of fear. It was hard to fall back asleep after that, so you had texted him just to see if he’s awake—and he was.

He called you almost immediately, talked to you on the phone about this game he’s been obsessing over and how you should try it, about how Soonyoung, his roommate, had been nagging him because he’s always at your place and that meant Soonyoung had no one to accompany him eat during dinner. He had just laughed it off, though, and you can still remember how your heart fluttered when Wonwoo jokingly said he’d rather eat with you than his roommate, anyway.

That went on until somewhere around 2 in the morning, with you falling asleep somewhere along the way. You wake up to Wonwoo’s text telling you to call him if the nightmare comes back.

You sigh to yourself. Why is the whole thing with Wonwoo so complicated? Why can’t you just pretend this is how it’s meant to be and accept your feeling towards him regardless of how it was before when you couldn’t even remember?

But you know it’s not that easy—know that Wonwoo knows how it was before and you’re not sure what to make of him being aware of your supposedly ‘bad’ relationship while still doing…this.

Is he just being kind? Maybe he feels bad about your situation and wants to make up for whatever he did before even when you don’t remember?

The only thing that you know is you don’t dare to assume he’s developing feelings for you like you are for him and you hate yourself for it.

You mess your head out of frustration, walking to the kitchen to see if the fridge has anything that might cheer you up a little. There are three cans of beers, you notice, you haven’t touched alcohol at all since the accident. You hesitate a little before eventually bringing them all out with you to the living room. You don’t even know how much you can drink, but surely you won’t get drunk over canned beers, right?

“What the fuck!” you gasp in shock at the cold beverage against your skin, seeping in through your shirt. “Do you not have eyes or something?”

The guy in front of you looks just as shocked, but quickly frowns when he registers your words. “Isn’t it you who was dashing through the corridor without looking?”

You scoff at his words, eyes throwing daggers at this guy who you don’t even know. “Wow, not even a sorry. What a gentleman.”

“Why should I be sorry when it’s you who bumped into me?” he scoffs back, which irritates you even more because isn’t it you who’s the victim here? Having been drenched in coffee first thing in the morning?

“Jeon Wonwoo!” someone calls from behind you, the guy glances at the name, but quickly turns to lock your gaze again just to annoy you further. Of course, guys with decent looks are always assholes.

“I will fucking remember you, Jeon Wonwoo,” you whisper under your breath before turning to leave. You will get back at him.

“[Y/N]!” Wonwoo calls to you once again, trying to shake you awake on his lap.

That’s how he found you when he comes in, passed out on the floor with empty canned bears on the table. Chaeyoung has worriedly called him earlier, telling him you’re not taking her calls nor checking her messages. It’s 8 in the morning on a Saturday, but Wonwoo quickly goes to your place when you’re not answering his calls either.

“That dumbass,” Chaeyoung has said over the phone when he calls to say you’re passed out most likely from beers. “Her body can’t take alcohol.”

After that, she has told him to prepare your usual hungover remedy and that he should try to wake you up; you’ll probably throw up and he would need to help that, too.

When you wake up, your head’s pounding and your throat is itching. You can hear someone calling you, but not conscious enough to register who. The next thing you know, you’re running to the bathroom to throw your guts up.

Wonwoo worriedly follows you, holding your hair to the side as his other hand rubs your back. His warmth comforts you, but you’re still not done throwing up to properly collect your thoughts.

Once you’re done, Wonwoo leaves to get you aspirin and water while you wash up a little. You warily make your way to the living room after that, taking a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom.

“Here, take this,” he says when you’re close enough, handing you the medicine. “I ordered the hungover stew earlier and it should arrive soon, Chaeyoung says you usually have it after drinking too much.”

You don’t say anything, simply bite the inside of your cheek as you take the aspirin from him. Wonwoo doesn’t seem to notice you silence, too worried out of his mind.

“Why did you even drink?” he frowns at you. “Do you know how worried I was seeing you passed out on the floor?”

You still don’t answer, your mind bursting with thoughts. It is then that Wonwoo realizes you’ve been keeping your words and softly calls your name in confusion.

“Why?” you say for the first time. Wonwoo simply looks at you with a silent question, not getting it. Your head still hurts and you’re probably not in a good enough condition to talk about this, but the sudden surge of bravery is something that you can’t ignore. “Why… have you been helping me?”

His breath turns heavy at your question, already able to put things together by the way you’re talking to him. “Did you… remember?” he asks instead, blunt nails digging into his palms.

You shake your head; your eyes are stinging as you suddenly feel like crying. “I—yes? No, I—I don’t know, maybe? But… but I, I remember our first meeting and a few other arguments and—”

Wonwoo quickly stands up to embrace you as you gasp for air and tears flood your eyes. He can feel the way your fingers are gripping his shirt as you cry, probably too overwhelmed with everything.

You’re not sure what comforts you the most: is it his arms around you? Or is it the way he’s whispering comfort to your ear? Or is it the way his hand is endlessly caressing your hair?

Once your tears die down, Wonwoo leans back a little to see your face. Something inside him twists at your puffed eyes and the way you’re hiccupping after crying far too long for his liking. He gently sits you down on the sofa, handing you water.

“Do you want to talk about it now?” he asks, there’s no use in hiding it anymore if you remember everything—at least the part about him—now.

You nod shakily, a little disappointed at the way Wonwoo’s sitting further than he usually does, though you get that he might be doing that for you.

He explains everything as best as he can, how he knows it must’ve been scary for you and how it would do you no good if the first person you seem to recall enough turns to be your enemy. He talks about how, at first, he takes care of you because he feels bad, but it wasn’t out of pity—he can tell you were scared and frustrated, and he doesn’t wish for you to go through this alone no matter how it was between the two of you before.

You listen to every single one of his words, heart stinging a little when he says he’s doing it because he feels bad. Who are you kidding? Of course, that’s why, the only reason there’s even an opening for you to feel something for him was because you have lost a chunk of your memories. Else, now you know it would be the same between the two of you.

The thought doesn’t comfort you, though. You think once you remember for sure what’s the nature of your relationship with him, everything would be clear to you.

And you definitely don’t think that, once you remember how bad it was between the two of you, the feeling that you’ve developed over the month would stay. You’ve never imagined you’d crave for his proximity, wish for him to continue talk to you like he usually would during the time he was taking care of you.

Would he back away from you now that you remember about him?

“Please don’t think I’m treating you like a charity case,” his words cut through your train of thoughts. “I’m—yes, at first I just felt bad, but now I’m just taking care of you because I want to, okay?”

“What—what do you mean by that?” you shakily ask, heart beating so hard that you can hear it loud and clear.

Wonwoo hesitates for a moment before eventually dives for it. “I… I don’t want to go back to how it was between us before just because you remember.”

“I… don’t want to either,” you whisper softly, making his breath caught in his throat. “I—I like being with you, Wonwoo.”

There’s a teasing smile in his face, but you can tell that his eyes are genuine without a hint of jokes. “Confessing already, are we?”

You chuckle a little at his attempt to lighten the mood, hitting his arm slightly which makes Wonwoo finally smiles at you, too.

“Just kidding. I like being with you too,” he genuinely says as he meets your eyes. “We really just started off the wrong way and refused to give each other a chance, huh?”

“How stupid, right?” you say with a laugh. “Takes me a concussion to give you a chance.”

For a moment, silence envelopes the both of you as you stare into each other’s eyes. There’s a quiet understanding between the two of you; how he’ll still be there to help you recover more of your memories, how you agree to let go of that first meeting, and how you both would slowly go through the path in front of you together after this.

It’s quiet and it’s comfortable, so you bask in his gaze and he, yours. What finally breaks the silence between the two of you is Wonwoo’s phone ringing to notify an incoming text. He looks at it, and then tells you your stew has arrived downstairs.

“I’ll just… go get it,” he says as he stands up. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

You laugh at his remarks, his mind probably stopped working after the emotional outburst earlier because he doesn’t even realize what he’s just said. You hold back the urge to be sarcastic, instead nodding at him with a smile that sends butterfly flying in his stomach.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved.

[shoujoboy-restart]

I will admit to my gaffe of trying to reinforce against a point dasha wasn't making, @dasha-aibo didn't argue the cia didn't involve themselves in the coup, I made a wrong Interpretation of what she said and I jumped the gun on that.

But however comma, Dasha is also very much wrong on the rest of her statement, which I also tried to explain and I will go even further in detail now:

> Dasha said "the example you gave is a time when the CIA carried out a coup, and it was a disastrous failure, and their guy was ousted right away."

> it was a disastrous failure. And their guy was ousted right away

Personally that word "disastrous" is...weird to me, because if we are making a PC narrative of "it's disastroue for democracy and well being of Brazilians, yeah sure, but that it was disastrous in accomplishing it's goal...thats were inhotea ask where Dasha is getting he resources from.

The coup against Goulart was successful and he was taken out of presidency, where's the failure?

The leader of the coup, Marshal Castelo Branco, who was in direct contact and managed the support the CIA was willing to give the military, successfully gained control of the country after the two week transition by substitute "president" Ranieri Mazzilli, a speaker of the house before that, after two weeks counting from beginning of April, Castelo Branco rose to power...AND STAYED THERE FROM 1964 to 1967, HE STAYED IN DIRECT POWER FOR 3 YEARSSSSS. In what world is that "immediately ousted"

Dasha must be mistaking Mazzilli for a dictator of the military instead of a stand to help for a non violent transition to a dictatorship in the parlament.

I must also add that during THE 3 YEARS IN POWER, Castelo Branco throught institutional acts mad ESO the executive(whoever was i power) could add and remove whatever and whenever of the new constitution they stipulated, so objectively speaking, there was no actual way Castelo could even had been ousted to begin with since he could make up any rule on spot.

My mistake was misinterpreting what Dasha said, she however is straight up spreading misinformation that doesnt add up at all and you are doubling down on it trying to get one over me meaning you didn't do any research to make sure what she said was right to begin with, basically it's okay in your eyes to be spreading historical misinformation if in the middle someone like made a mistake.

Again proving you aren't very good faith or want to give any investment in conversations and arguments besides what can give another bagin' reaction image for people to use I guess.

Also quickly covering another wrong thing Dasha said:

> Dude, not only did you provide an example from 1964, but one that was a resounding failure, where the CIA-backed candidate was massively unpopular and immediately ousted and the new pro-American government had nothing to do with him or the CIA?

> and the new pro-American government had nothing to do with him or the CIA?

Again, when counting for the fact Castelo made it so whoever had executive power could add and remove whatever to their new constitution...so narrative is literally a impossibility, he could be a president for as long he personally desired if he so wanted, if he did not approve of however was coming after him he could make it so they couldn't take the lead. Also the next in power was also a Marshal just like Castelo Branco, Marshal Carlos e Silva so...like is there anything else to be said? Do I need to add another paragraph?

Also once again Castelo was supported by the CIA during the planing of the coup and still was after the regime was established, Washington recognized the regime as a legitimate and the USA government made multiple plans and trades to make sure the regime could stay a afloat

Also Brazil actively participated in the CIA-backed state terror campaign against left-wing dissidents known as Operation Condor

Again very military dictator after Castelo Branco was approved by him and his peers...AGAIN THE MILITARY AS INSTITUTION COMITTED THE COUP AND ESTABLISHED THE REGIME, so it makes no sense to say

I genuinely think Dasha may be getting her info from a denialist source, one either denying the seriousness of the regime and trying to make innacurate and confusing information or one doing a lot of leg work to innocentizes the American instution for it's support for coups and dictatorships.

None of the U.S. plans were in fact necessary. A cable from the US ambassador the first day of the coup quotes Brazilian General Humberto Castelo Branco, the leader of the uprising, “He has told us that he doesn’t need our help.” The next day a U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff memo summed up the situation: “Package of arms and ammunition continue to be held at McGuire [U.S. Air Force Base] pending Ambassador Gordon’s determination of whether Brazilian military forces or state police forces will require early U.S. support . . . Carrier task force continue[s] toward South Atlantic until ambassador states that port calls or other U.S. demonstrations of naval power are definitely not needed.” Then there was the ominous comment, apparently referring to CIA attempts at covert destabilization, “Only that part of political movement which ambassador considers essential to current situation [to] be continued.”

If you want to just split the hairs that the USA had plans and wanted to participate In the coup but Castelo Branco and his affiliates were so good at destroying democracy the USA didn't need to commit to their plans ton 100% and only 99%, okay fine, you are right on that.

But no, Dasha is very much wrong which is why I asked if she wasn't mistaking this for another South American coup, the coup was effective it did not fail, the man who the USA was giving support aka Castelo Branco rose to power successfully and the only who matches the description of "a guy who ousted" is Marzilli who was not a dictator and was a transition of week from democracy to dictatorship so the parlament would be killed off, created estipulations that made sure he would approve the next dictator AND they are all form the same institution of the Brazilian military.

Again, I made a very innacurate interpretation and response to PART of Dasha's argument, I was wrong I apologize for that part of my previous response.

But Dasha has legit wrong information about the most basic aspect of the military dictatorship and it's relation to the USA and CIA.

Also @brazenautomaton is a whipped cunt that hops out of discussions and only comes back after he can smuggly attempt yo insult people using shit that isn't even accurate to truth, nor does he care if it really, because he needs a new 15 minutes of fame as a reaction pic on the internet for other smug cunts to use after also joined discussions in bad faith ❤️

I don't get how people can believe that doctors are overworked and how medical industry is hellish about worker rights, but expect medical researcher to invent a cure overnight without any pay whatsoever

but if they want to be paid, that's capitalism

people being paid for the work they do is exploitation of labor

[kissydori]

Jean Kirstein -> 7, 2

He's so sweet, and i-

i just want him to be a happy boy.

Thank you for your attention. I love your work!!❤❤❤

＼(≧▽≦)／

Lmao im sure u don't even remember making this request oops...

EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DREAMT OF

Jean Kirstein x Reader

"I love your face, your everything" + "I've always dreamt of this, but I never thought you would feel the same."

This is months late, but what can u do 😋 jeans kinda desperate and needy in this, but who doesnt love a good needy jean am i right??

"I want you to marry me."

"Huh...?"

The look on Jeans face was matter of fact. As if you should've already thought your answer through before we even had the chance to ask - but the look on your face was the opposite. Shocked, eyes wide and jaw slacked. So he repeated himself.

"I want you to marry me." His stern face went soft, cheeks painting a hue of pink - spreading through his entire face effortlessly. "... Please."

Even with the restatement of his proposal, you stood speechless. You and Jean had known eachother for years, since childhood. You knew a lot about him - about his favorite color, hobbies, foods, even his type in girls. So why was it that he - the boy that was into girls with long, straight hair, pale skin, and the personality of a seasoned soldier - asking you, quite frankly the oppsoite of that - for your hand in marriage?

"I... What? Is his some sort of sick joke?" You asked carefully, your once wide eyes narrowing in suspicion. Jean gasped lightly, as if the question truly caught him off guard. But the look on his face wasn't one someone made when they were scared of getting caught - it was one afraid of being misunderstood.

"No! I love your face! Your everything...!" He lowered his head to avoid your gaze. "I know we haven't seen each other since you went undercover 3 months ago, but there hasn't been a single day that I haven't thought of you."

"I guess being away from you made me realize how much I long for you. How much I want you." Jean took a step closer, finally raising his head to look at you. "I don't want to rush you for an answer, but I've waited long enough. Reject me so I can move on."

You've seen many sides of Jean, happy, sad, scared, confident - but you never saw him so shy - so red under your gaze. It was always toward another.

You were already having a hard time thinking straight - but him stepping closer and spewing out the amount of word vomit he did had your head swirling in confusion.

"Please..." He plead, desperate for your answer outright - so he could move past this.

"I do." Your answer came slow, cheeks growing hot under his gaze.

"Huh?" Now it was his turn to be confused.

"I want to marry you, Jean."

He fell silent, lips parting open in shock and face growing hotter than before. It almost felt like a dream - a dream he had often, where he confessed to you - but this time, it had a good ending. His next thought was that he heard you wrong - but the look on your face ruled the possibility out.

"Are you... Serious?" He asked, blinking rapidly to fully progress the situation. "I always dreamt of this moment, but I never thought you'd feel the same." He admitted sheepishly.

"Well, this isn't one of your fantasies, Jean. I want to marry you." You spoke, taking a step closer to him before placing your hands on his chesks. "That is... If you actually want to marry me?" You asked.

It was his turn to get closed, his hands reaching up to grip your forearms. "Are you kidding? Of course, I want to! You're all I've ever dreamed of and more. I want to be yours and only yours." You never took Jean to be quite the heartfelt guy - but he showed you how mistaken you were about him in the end.

There was a pregnant silence, neither of you exchanging words - instead staring at eachother - as if drinking in the others appearance. Jeans grip on your forearms grew softer, his thumb rubbing the exposed skin of your forearm before trailing up to the hands you had on his cheeks. You returned the familer, thumbs drawing circles onto his hands before squishing his cheeks - pulling his head toward yours and locking lips.

The two of you had a lot of lost time to make up for.

Jeans eyes went wide in surprise - as if your actions were unprecedented - as if he hadn't just proposed to you moments prior without any history of even dating. Though it didn't take him long to ease into it, his eyes falling shut.

Air was a second priority to the two of you, your attention instead on the feeing of eachothers lips. His lips were plump - although they lent on the drier side, the feeling on his lips on yours was pleasant. It was easy to get lost in the sound of his breathy sighs - and the way he trembled as if he'd truly waited his entire life for this. Time wasn't a concept for either - not when the two of you could get lost for hours sucking on eachother. Though, based off of Jeans whine, and he way he chased your lips with his to reconnect after you parted showed you that it wasn't close to long enough.

"... Hah..... That was more than I could ever dream of..." Jean chuckled breathlessly, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips repeatedly before he dragged you in for another kiss.