#guess who cried reading this beautiful message

[bratzkoo]

yours, always and forever | jeonghan

Author: bratzkoo | beta read by: @spnyin Pairing: perfumer! jeonghan x estrange wife! reader Genre: fluff, angst Rating: PG-15 Word count: 5.9k Warnings/note: went on a shopping trip with my mom and i cried when i smelled rose kabuki by dior. Happy National Boyfriend's Day to our boyfriend, Jeonghan.

summary: Perfumer Yoon Jeonghan took the Perfume industry by storm with his intriguing perfume names that seems to be inspired by one specific person which makes the industry question, who is he even naming his creations after? Only Y/N, Jeonghan’s estrange wife knows the answer.

taglist (hit me up if you wanna be added): @escoupseu , @yanabaaaaaaarysheva , @spnyin , @sousydive , @gyuguys , @gyubakeries

requests are open, but you can just say hi! | masterlist

The soft glow of the setting sun painted the New York skyline in hues of gold and pink, a stark contrast to the sleek, modern interior of the penthouse apartment where Yoon Jeonghan stood, gazing out at the city he'd conquered. In his hand, a delicate crystal glass held a swirl of amber liquid, its aroma mingling with the lingering scents that always clung to him—a symphony of olfactory notes that had become his signature.

Jeonghan took a sip of his drink, savoring the burn as it slid down his throat. His eyes, dark and intense, reflected the city lights beginning to twinkle in the twilight. At thirty-two, he was at the pinnacle of his career, a prodigy in the world of perfumery, and the toast of the fashion and beauty industries. For the third year in a row, the title of Perfumer of the Year sat comfortably on his shoulders, a crown he wore with a mixture of pride and nonchalance that only added to his allure.

The gentle ping of his phone drew his attention away from the view. Another congratulatory message, no doubt. They had been pouring in all day, ever since the announcement of his latest triumph. Jeonghan ignored it, choosing instead to walk over to his workspace—a sprawling, custom-designed lab that took up nearly half of his living area.

Here, amidst the orderly chaos of beakers, pipettes, and countless vials of essences and extracts, was where the magic happened. This was where he crafted the scents that had taken the world by storm, perfumes that didn't just smell divine but told stories, evoked memories, and stirred emotions in ways that left critics and consumers alike in awe.

Jeonghan's fingers trailed over the labels of his latest collection, a small smile playing on his lips as he read each name aloud:

"You, in the Garden."

"You, in Greece."

"You, in the Club Holding Your Favorite Drink."

"You, in New York."

Each name was a whisper of the past, a fragment of a story that the public could only guess at. And guess they did. Entire forums were dedicated to deciphering the meaning behind Jeonghan's enigmatic perfume names. Who was this mysterious 'you'? A lover? A muse? A figment of the perfumer's vivid imagination?

Speculation ran rampant. Some theorized it was a marketing ploy, a clever way to personalize each scent for the wearer. Others believed Jeonghan was leaving breadcrumbs, telling his own story through these olfactory chapters. The more romantic souls insisted it was an ode to a lost love, each perfume a memory crystallized in scent.

If only they knew.

Jeonghan's smile faded as he picked up the bottle of "You, in New York." The weight of it in his hand felt heavier than it should, laden with memories he both cherished and tried to forget. He uncapped it, bringing it to his nose and inhaling deeply.

Notes of crisp apple and bergamot gave way to a heart of rose and jasmine, grounded by a base of sandalwood and vanilla. But beneath these carefully orchestrated notes lay something else, something only he could detect—the ghost of her perfume, the one she wore on that last night.

Across the city, in a modest but charming brownstone in Brooklyn, Y/N sat cross-legged on her bed, surrounded by discarded wrapping paper and birthday cards. The celebration had been small but joyful, a gathering of the close friends who had become her support system over the past few years. As the night wound down and the last guest departed, she found herself alone with her thoughts and the pile of gifts yet to be properly examined.

One box in particular caught her eye. It was elegant, wrapped in matte black paper with a single silver ribbon. There was no card, no indication of who it was from. Curiosity piqued, Y/N carefully untied the ribbon and peeled back the paper.

Her breath caught in her throat as she revealed the contents. Nestled in a bed of black satin was a bottle she recognized all too well, even though she had never held it before. The clean lines of the glass, the minimalist label with its distinctive handwritten font—it was unmistakably one of Jeonghan's creations.

With trembling hands, Y/N lifted the bottle. "You, in New York," she read aloud, her voice barely above a whisper. A humorless laugh escaped her lips. How fitting, how cruelly ironic that of all his perfumes, this would be the one to find its way to her.

New York. The city where dreams came true and hearts were broken. The city where, five years ago, she had celebrated her last birthday with Jeonghan. It had been magical—a surprise weekend getaway, a whirlwind of Broadway shows, candlelit dinners, and long walks through Central Park. It was the last time she remembered feeling truly, incandescently happy.

It was also the weekend that marked the beginning of the end.

Y/N uncapped the bottle, hesitating for just a moment before bringing it to her nose. The scent hit her like a wave, transporting her instantly back to that weekend. She could almost feel the crisp autumn air on her skin, hear the bustling streets, see Jeonghan's smile as he pulled her close on top of the Empire State Building.

Unbidden, tears began to fall, leaving glistening trails down her cheeks. Five years. Five years since she had spoken to him, seen him, been in the same room as him. And yet, with one carefully crafted scent, he could still reach across that divide and touch her very soul.

They weren't divorced—the paperwork sat untouched in a drawer in her study, a task neither of them seemed able to bring themselves to complete. But they might as well have been strangers for all the communication that passed between them. Estranged was the word the media used when they bothered to mention her at all. Jeonghan's mysterious wife, who had disappeared from the public eye as swiftly and suddenly as Jeonghan had risen to fame.

Y/N set the bottle on her nightstand, unable to put it away but unwilling to hold it any longer. She reached for her phone, scrolling through the countless birthday messages until she found the one she was looking for. It was from her best friend, Mina:

"Hey birthday girl! Hope you loved all your gifts. That last one... the perfume. I hope it wasn't too much. When I saw it, I just thought... well, maybe it was time. You can't run from the past forever, Y/N. Call me if you need to talk. Love you!"

So it had been Mina. Y/N wasn't sure whether to thank her friend or curse her for this unexpected trip down memory lane. She fell back onto her pillows, staring at the ceiling as her mind raced.

Did Jeonghan know his perfume had found its way to her? Did he still think of her when he created these scents? Was she the 'you' in every bottle, or had someone else taken her place in his heart and his art?

Questions she had buried for years bubbled to the surface, demanding attention. Y/N closed her eyes, willing sleep to come and provide a temporary escape. But the scent of "You, in New York" lingered in the air, a persistent reminder of all that had been and all that was lost.

Meanwhile, in his penthouse, Jeonghan had moved from his lab to his home office. The wall opposite his desk was covered in framed magazine covers and articles, a testament to his meteoric rise in the industry. His eyes, however, were fixed on a single frame tucked away in the corner of his desk. It was turned face down, but he knew every detail of the photograph it held—him and Y/N, laughing and in love, on their wedding day.

He reached for it, hesitating for a moment before picking it up and turning it over. They looked so young, so full of hope and dreams. Jeonghan traced the outline of Y/N's face with his finger, wondering not for the first time where she was, what she was doing, if she ever thought of him.

A notification on his computer screen drew his attention. It was an email from his publicist, marked urgent:

"Jeonghan,

The press is buzzing about your win and the launch of 'You, in New York.' Vogue wants an exclusive interview, and they're particularly interested in the inspiration behind your perfume names. I've held them off so far, but we need to give them something. The mysterious artist angle only works for so long.

Also, there's been some renewed interest in your personal life. A few gossip blogs have dug up old photos of you and Y/N. Nothing scandalous, but we should be prepared for questions.

Let me know how you want to handle this.

- Somin"

Jeonghan leaned back in his chair, a frown creasing his brow. He had known this day would come eventually. The perfume industry thrived on stories, on the personalities behind the scents. He had managed to maintain an air of mystery for years, letting his creations speak for themselves. But now, with his continued success and the increasingly personal nature of his perfume names, the world wanted more.

How could he possibly explain the truth? That each perfume was a love letter, a memory, a piece of his heart poured into a bottle? That 'You, in the Garden' was born from lazy Sunday mornings spent in their tiny apartment's rooftop garden, Y/N's laughter mingling with the scent of herbs and flowers? That 'You, in Greece' captured the essence of their honeymoon, sun-kissed skin and salty air and the intoxicating feeling of being young and in love?

And 'You, in New York'... Jeonghan's gaze drifted back to the photograph. Their last happy moment, preserved in glass and scent. He had poured every ounce of his skill into that perfume, trying to capture not just the smells of the city, but the feeling of that weekend—the joy, the love, and the bittersweet edge of what was to come.

He picked up his phone, thumb hovering over Y/N's contact. He hadn't deleted it, couldn't bring himself to erase that last tangible connection. But he hadn't used it either, not in five long years. What would he even say? 

"I'm sorry"? 

"I miss you"? 

"Every scent I create is a desperate attempt to hold onto the memory of us"?

Jeonghan set the phone down, leaving the call unmade. Instead, he turned back to his computer and began to type a response to his publicist:

"Somin,

Set up the Vogue interview. I'll give them the story they want.

As for my personal life, it remains personal. No comments on old photos or relationships.

- Jeonghan"

He hit send before he could second-guess himself. It was time to give the public a peek behind the curtain, to feed the curiosity that had been building for years. He would craft a story, something romantic and mysterious enough to satisfy the masses without revealing the raw, painful truth.

After all, isn't that what he did best? Create beautiful illusions, capture feelings in a bottle, tell stories through scent? This would just be another performance, another carefully constructed facade.

But as Jeonghan stood to pour himself another drink, his eyes fell once more on the photograph of him and Y/N. For a moment, the mask slipped, and a look of profound sadness crossed his face. All the success, all the accolades, all the adoration from fans around the world—none of it filled the Y/N-shaped hole in his heart.

In the quiet of his luxurious apartment, surrounded by the fruits of his success, Yoon Jeonghan—three-time Perfumer of the Year, creator of the most sought-after fragrances in the world—had never felt more alone.

As the night deepened, two souls on opposite sides of the city lay awake, each haunted by memories and might-have-beens. The scent of "You, in New York" lingered in the air, a fragrant bridge across the chasm that separated them. Neither knew that this birthday, this perfume, this moment of remembrance, was about to set in motion a chain of events that would force them to confront their past and decide their future.

-

The sleek, modernist interior of Vogue's New York office buzzed with nervous energy as staff scurried about, making last-minute preparations. Today was no ordinary day—they were about to interview Yoon Jeonghan, the enigmatic perfumer who had captivated the fashion world with his mysterious creations.

Jeonghan sat in the makeup chair, his eyes closed as the artist applied a light touch of powder to his already flawless skin. He exuded an aura of calm, but beneath the surface, his mind raced. This interview was a calculated risk, a chance to satisfy the public's curiosity while maintaining the mystique that had become his trademark.

"Mr. Yoon, we're ready for you," a young assistant called, clipboard clutched to her chest.

Jeonghan opened his eyes, meeting his reflection in the mirror. He adjusted his tie—a deep, midnight blue that brought out the intensity of his gaze—and stood. With a deep breath, he stepped into the lion's den.

The interviewer, a sharp-eyed woman named Clara, greeted him with a professional smile. "Mr. Yoon, thank you for joining us. Shall we begin?"

As the cameras rolled, Clara launched into her questions, starting with the safe and expected before gradually probing deeper.

"Your latest fragrance, 'You, in New York,' has taken the world by storm," Clara said, leaning forward slightly. "Can you tell us about the inspiration behind it?"

Jeonghan's lips curved into a small smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes. "New York is a city of dreams and memories," he began, his voice smooth and measured. "I wanted to capture the essence of a perfect moment in time—the crisp air of a fall evening, the excitement of possibility, the bittersweet beauty of a fleeting experience."

"And the 'you' in the title?" Clara pressed. "Your fragrances all seem to be addressing someone specific. Is there a story there?"

For a fraction of a second, Jeonghan's composure slipped. A flicker of something—pain? longing?—crossed his face before the mask slid back into place. "The 'you' is everyone and no one," he said carefully. "It's the wearer of the perfume, the object of desire, the memory of a love lost or yet to be found. I believe that the most personal stories are often the most universal."

As the interview continued, Jeonghan wove a tale of inspiration drawn from travels, fleeting encounters, and imagined romances. It was a beautiful story, crafted as carefully as his perfumes. But those who knew him best might have noticed the slight tension in his shoulders, the way his fingers occasionally twitched as if reaching for something—or someone—just out of grasp.

---

The publication of the Vogue interview sent shockwaves through the fashion and beauty world. Social media exploded with theories and interpretations of Jeonghan's words. Fan forums dissected every sentence, looking for hidden meanings and clues about the mysterious muse behind his creations.

@ScentObsessed tweeted: "OMG, did you catch how his voice changed when talking about 'You, in New York'? There's definitely a real story there! #YoonJeonghan #PerfumeMystery"

A popular beauty vlogger released a 20-minute video analyzing Jeonghan's body language during the interview, claiming to have spotted at least five instances where he seemed to be holding back tears.

Even serious fashion critics couldn't resist speculating. A piece in WWD posed the question: "Is Yoon Jeonghan's entire oeuvre an olfactory autobiography? The clues hidden in his fragrances."

---

Across the city, Y/N sat at her kitchen table, a cup of coffee growing cold beside her as she stared at her laptop screen. The Vogue article was open, Jeonghan's face looking back at her from a series of artfully shot photographs.

She had promised herself she wouldn't read it. Had sworn she was past all this, that she had moved on. But curiosity—and perhaps something deeper, something she wasn't ready to name—had gotten the better of her.

Now, as she read his carefully crafted words, Y/N felt a complex mix of emotions churning inside her. Anger at the half-truths, sadness at the memories his words evoked, and a traitorous flutter of her heart at the moments where she could see through his facade to the man she once knew so well.

A knock at the door startled her out of her reverie. Y/N closed the laptop quickly, as if hiding evidence of a crime, before going to answer.

"Ms. Y/N?" A woman with a press badge stood in the hallway, notepad in hand. "I'm Mia from Style Weekly. I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about Yoon Jeonghan's latest interview."

Y/N felt the blood drain from her face. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about," she said, moving to close the door.

The reporter's foot blocked the doorway. "Please, just a moment. Your connection to Mr. Yoon is a matter of public record. Surely you must have some insight into the inspirations behind his work?"

"No comment," Y/N managed, her voice strangled. She pushed the door closed with more force, hearing the reporter's muffled protests from the other side.

Leaning against the door, Y/N slid to the floor, her heart pounding. It was happening again. The life she had carefully rebuilt, separate from Jeonghan and his world of glitz and glamour, was threatening to crumble around her.

---

In his penthouse, Jeonghan paced back and forth, phone pressed to his ear. "Somin, I thought we agreed to keep my personal life out of this," he said, frustration evident in his voice.

His publicist's calm tones came through the speaker. "Jeonghan, we did our best, but you have to understand. The public is hungry for this. Your story, the mystery—it's what sells. The interview was a huge success."

"At what cost?" Jeonghan muttered, more to himself than to Somin.

After ending the call, he walked to his workspace, surrounded by the tools of his trade. His fingers trailed over the bottles of his creations, lingering on "You, in New York."

For a moment, he allowed himself to remember—truly remember, not the sanitized version he had presented to the world. He saw Y/N's smile as they watched the sunset from the Top of the Rock, felt the warmth of her hand in his as they strolled through Central Park.

Almost without conscious thought, his hand reached for his phone. Y/N's contact information stared back at him, unchanged after all these years. His thumb hovered over the call button.

A war raged inside him. The desire to hear her voice, to explain, to apologize, warred with the fear of rejection, of reopening old wounds.

In the end, he set the phone down, the call unmade. But the desire, the need, lingered.

---

"Y/N, have you seen this?" Mina's voice came through the phone, excitement evident. "Jeonghan's Vogue interview. Girl, he's talking about you."

Y/N sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Mina, please. You know I don't want to hear about—"

"No, listen," Mina interrupted. "He talks about a moment in New York, watching the sunset from a rooftop garden. That was you two, wasn't it? On your last birthday together?"

Y/N's breath caught. She remembered that evening with painful clarity—the golden light, the gentle breeze, the feeling that everything was perfect. It was mere days before it all fell apart.

"It doesn't matter," Y/N said, but her voice lacked conviction.

"Honey," Mina said gently, "I think it does. He's been telling your story all along, in every bottle. Maybe... maybe it's time to tell yours."

After hanging up, Y/N found herself once again staring at the bottle of "You, in New York." She uncapped it, letting the scent envelop her. In that moment, she allowed herself to truly feel everything she had been suppressing for years.

The realization hit her like a wave: Jeonghan hadn't forgotten. Every perfume, every story, was a message in a bottle, cast out into the world in hopes that someday, somehow, it would reach her.

---

The charity gala was in full swing, the cream of New York society mingling amidst the glittering decor of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Jeonghan moved through the crowd, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries, the perfect image of the successful artist.

He was in the middle of a conversation with a fashion designer when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning, he found himself face to face with an old friend—one he shared with Y/N.

"Jeonghan," the friend said, a strange mix of emotions playing across their face. "It's been too long."

As they talked, catching up on the years that had passed, Jeonghan found himself hungry for any scrap of information about Y/N. He tried to be subtle, but his old friend saw right through him.

"She's doing well, Jeonghan," they said softly. "She's strong. But... I think she misses you too."

The words hit Jeonghan like a physical blow. He excused himself, making his way to a quiet corner of the museum. His carefully constructed world felt like it was shifting beneath his feet.

Across the city, Y/N was experiencing a similar upheaval. A mutual friend had let slip that Jeonghan had asked about her, that he still kept a photo of them on his desk.

As the night wore on, both Jeonghan and Y/N found themselves standing at a crossroads. The walls they had built, the distance they had maintained, suddenly seemed more like obstacles than protection.

Unbeknownst to each other, they both reached for their phones at nearly the same moment. Fingers hovering over screens, hearts pounding, they stood on the precipice of a decision that could change everything.

In the air, the faint scent of "You, in New York" lingered, a reminder of what was lost and what, perhaps, could still be found.

The stage was set. The next move was theirs.

-

The Autumn chill nipped at Y/N's skin as she stood outside the small café, her hands shoved deep into her coat pockets. Her eyes darted nervously up and down the street, searching for a familiar face she hadn't seen in years. Her heart raced, a mix of anticipation and fear coursing through her veins.

She almost jumped when her phone buzzed. A text from Jeonghan: "I'm here."

Y/N's breath caught in her throat as she spotted him rounding the corner. Jeonghan looked much the same as she remembered, yet somehow different. His hair was styled differently, and he carried himself with a weariness that hadn't been there before. But his eyes—those eyes that had once looked at her with such love—were as intense as ever.

Their gazes locked, and for a moment, the busy New York street faded away. It was just the two of them, standing on opposite sides of a chasm five years in the making.

Jeonghan reached her first, stopping a few feet away. "Y/N," he said, his voice a mix of relief and uncertainty.

"Jeonghan," she replied, surprised at how steady her own voice sounded.

An awkward silence fell between them, years of unspoken words and suppressed emotions creating an almost tangible barrier.

"Should we..." Jeonghan gestured towards the café, and Y/N nodded, grateful for the suggestion.

Inside, they found a quiet corner booth. The warm, coffee-scented air was a stark contrast to the tension between them. They ordered—an Americano for him, a latte for her, just like old times—and then faced each other across the small table.

"You look well," Jeonghan said, his fingers fidgeting with a sugar packet.

Y/N managed a small smile. "So do you. I... I've seen your interviews. Congratulations on all your success."

Jeonghan's face tightened almost imperceptibly. "Thank you. I hear you're doing well too. Teaching, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, literature at NYU. It's... it's good."

Another silence fell, heavier this time. Y/N took a sip of her latte, using the moment to gather her thoughts.

"Why did you want to meet, Jeonghan?" she finally asked, setting her cup down perhaps a bit too forcefully.

Jeonghan looked up, meeting her gaze directly for the first time since they sat down. "I... I missed you, Y/N. Every day for five years, I've missed you."

The raw honesty in his voice caught Y/N off guard. She felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes and blinked them back furiously.

"You missed me?" she repeated, a hint of bitterness creeping into her tone. "You're the one who left, Jeonghan. You chose your career over us."

Jeonghan flinched as if he'd been slapped. "I know," he said softly. "And I've regretted it every day since."

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small, familiar bottle. Y/N's breath hitched as she recognized it—"You, in New York."

"Every scent, every name," Jeonghan continued, his voice thick with emotion, "they were all for you. About you. My way of holding onto what we had, what I threw away."

Y/N stared at the bottle, memories flooding back. The laughter, the love, the pain—it all came rushing back in a dizzying whirl.

"I thought I was protecting you," Jeonghan said. "The pressure, the spotlight—it was destroying us. I thought... I thought if I let you go, you could have a normal life. Be happy."

"That wasn't your choice to make," Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper. "You should have talked to me. We could have figured it out together."

Jeonghan nodded, running a hand through his hair in a gesture so familiar it made Y/N's heart ache. "I know that now. God, Y/N, I know. I was young and stupid and scared. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was just a coward."

Y/N felt the walls she'd built around her heart begin to crumble. She reached out, almost unconsciously, and took the perfume bottle from Jeonghan's hand. As she did, their fingers brushed, sending a jolt of electricity through both of them.

"I tried to hate you," Y/N admitted, her thumb tracing the label of the bottle. "I tried so hard to forget, to move on. But then I'd catch a whiff of one of your perfumes, or see your face on a magazine cover, and it all came flooding back."

Jeonghan leaned forward, his eyes pleading. "I know I have no right to ask this, but... is there any chance? For us? I'm not the same man I was five years ago. I've learned, I've grown. And I know now that nothing—no amount of success or fame—means anything without you."

Y/N closed her eyes, feeling tears slip down her cheeks. When she opened them again, she saw that Jeonghan's eyes were also wet.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "You hurt me, Jeonghan. Deeply. That's not something that can be fixed with a conversation and some pretty words."

Jeonghan nodded, his face falling. But before he could speak, Y/N continued.

"But... I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you too. That I didn't still love you, despite everything."

Hope bloomed in Jeonghan's eyes. "So... what does that mean?"

Y/N took a deep breath. "It means... it means maybe we can try. Slowly. No grand gestures, no rushing back into things. We need to relearn each other, rebuild trust. Can you do that?"

Jeonghan reached across the table, gently taking Y/N's hand in his. The familiar warmth of his touch sent a shiver down her spine.

"Y/N, I would wait a lifetime if that's what it took. We'll go as slow as you need. I just... I just want a chance to make things right."

For the first time since they sat down, Y/N felt a genuine smile tugging at her lips. "Okay," she said softly. "Let's try."

-

The gentle spring breeze carried the scent of cherry blossoms through Central Park, where Jeonghan and Y/N walked hand in hand, their steps slow and purposeful. Two years had passed since that fateful night when they both reached for their phones, finally bridging the gap that had separated them for so long.

"I still can't believe we're here," Y/N said, squeezing Jeonghan's hand. "Sometimes I think I'll wake up and find it was all a dream."

Jeonghan brought her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. "If it's a dream, then I never want to wake up," he replied, his eyes shining with emotion.

They found a quiet bench overlooking the lake, the same spot where they had sat years ago, planning their future together. Now, older and wiser, they sat again, the weight of their shared history and renewed love settling comfortably between them.

"The launch is tomorrow," Jeonghan said, a hint of nervousness in his voice. "Are you ready?"

Y/N took a deep breath, nodding. "As ready as I'll ever be. It's still surreal, you know? Being back in this world, but on my own terms this time."

The past two years had been a whirlwind of rediscovery and healing. After their reconnection, Jeonghan and Y/N had taken things slowly, rebuilding trust and relearning each other. Y/N had been adamant about maintaining her independence, refusing to be swallowed up by Jeonghan's world as she had been before.

To everyone's surprise—including her own—Y/N had discovered a talent for perfumery. What had started as curious questions about Jeonghan's process had evolved into a genuine passion. Under his guidance, she had begun to create her own scents, her natural intuition complementing Jeonghan's technical expertise.

And now, tomorrow, they would launch their first collaborative perfume.

"I have something for you," Jeonghan said, reaching into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small, elegant bottle, its contents shimmering in the afternoon sun.

Y/N gasped, recognizing the prototype they had been working on. "Is this...?"

Jeonghan nodded, a smile playing on his lips. "The final version. I wanted you to be the first to see it—to smell it."

With trembling hands, Y/N took the bottle. The label read "Essence of Us" in Jeonghan's distinctive handwriting. Below it, in smaller letters: "By Jeonghan & Y/N."

She uncapped the bottle, bringing it to her nose. The scent enveloped her immediately—bright citrus notes of bergamot and lemon, giving way to a heart of rose and jasmine, grounded by warm sandalwood and a hint of vanilla. But there was something more, something uniquely them—a note that spoke of long nights of conversation, of laughter shared over coffee, of gentle kisses and whispered promises.

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes. "It's perfect," she whispered.

Jeonghan wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "It's us," he said simply. "All of us. The good, the bad, the journey we've taken."

As the sun began to set, painting the sky in hues of pink and gold, Jeonghan and Y/N sat in comfortable silence, the scent of their creation lingering in the air around them.

The launch event for "Essence of Us" was the talk of the fashion world. Held in the same New York hotel where Jeonghan and Y/N had celebrated her last birthday before their separation, it was a poignant reminder of how far they had come.

Cameras flashed as Jeonghan and Y/N stepped onto the red carpet, a united front. Y/N, dressed in a flowing gown that shimmered like liquid silver, looked every inch the confident co-creator, a far cry from the woman who had once hidden in Jeonghan's shadow.

Inside, the room was transformed into a sensory wonderland. Different stations represented the various notes of the perfume, allowing guests to experience each element individually before sampling the final product.

As the crowd mingled and the excitement built, Jeonghan clinked a glass, calling for attention. The room fell silent, all eyes turning to the stage where he and Y/N stood.

"Thank you all for being here tonight," Jeonghan began, his voice carrying easily through the room. "This launch is special for many reasons, but none more so than the fact that it represents not just a new scent, but a new chapter."

He turned to Y/N, love evident in his gaze. "For years, my perfumes told the story of what I had lost. They were messages in bottles, cast out into the world in the hope that someday, they might find their way back to the one who inspired them."

Y/N stepped forward, taking Jeonghan's hand. "And I heard those messages," she continued, her voice strong and clear. "Even when I tried not to listen, even when I thought that chapter of my life was closed forever. They called to me, reminding me of a love that never truly faded."

Together, they unveiled the perfume—an elegant bottle that seemed to capture the light, refracting it into a thousand tiny rainbows.

"'Essence of Us' is more than just a perfume," Jeonghan said. "It's a testament to the power of love, of forgiveness, of second chances. It's the scent of two people who lost their way, only to find that all paths led back to each other."

Y/N nodded, adding, "It's also a new beginning. A declaration that our story isn't just about the past, but about the future we choose to create together."

As the crowd applauded and the first samples of "Essence of Us" were distributed, Jeonghan and Y/N shared a private smile. They had poured their hearts into this creation, distilling years of love, loss, and rediscovery into a single, perfect scent.

Months later, as "Essence of Us" continued to top bestseller lists and garner critical acclaim, Jeonghan and Y/N found themselves back in their favorite spot in Central Park. The trees were ablaze with autumn colors, a crisp breeze carrying the promise of winter.

"I've been thinking," Jeonghan said, his tone casual but his eyes betraying a hint of nervousness. "About the future. About us."

Y/N looked at him curiously. "Oh? And what have you been thinking?"

Jeonghan took a deep breath, reaching into his pocket. "I've been thinking that maybe it's time for a new scent. Something... permanent."

He pulled out a small velvet box, opening it to reveal a stunning ring. The design was unique—a delicate gold band that twisted into the shape of an infinity symbol, set with tiny diamonds that caught the light like drops of perfume.

"Y/N," Jeonghan said, his voice thick with emotion, "will you marry me? Again? For real this time, for always?"

Tears sprang to Y/N's eyes as she nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. As Jeonghan slipped the ring onto her finger, she finally found her voice. "Yes," she whispered. "Forever and always."

They sealed the promise with a kiss, the scent of "Essence of Us" mingling with the crisp autumn air. As they broke apart, both laughing and crying, Jeonghan's eyes lit up with that familiar spark of inspiration.

"I think I know what our next perfume will be called," he said, grinning.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, a smile playing on her lips. "Oh? Do tell."

Jeonghan pulled her close, whispering in her ear: "You, Forever and Always."

And as they walked hand in hand through the park, already discussing notes and accords for their new creation, both Jeonghan and Y/N knew that this—their love, their passion, their shared creativity—was the most intoxicating scent of all.

[https-milo]

ILYILYILY YOUR MEGUMI INSTA POST WAS BEAUTIFUL I NOW NEEEEDDDDD A YUUJI ONE 🙏🙏🙏🙏

YUJI FANGIRLS RISE UP!!! indie I LUV YOU TOO!!

DATING YUJI ITADORI INSTAGRAM!

details!

instagram posts w/ comments while dating Yuji Itadori!

a/n OBVIOUSLY these are just pictures off of pinterest, reader can be however you imagine!

a/n Americanizing this one because my homecoming is next week and I think Yuji would be such a good hoco date

a/n Yuji plays football and track/cross country((idk the difference, sue me)) (GO WITH IT.)

a/n modern!no curses!AU

m. list

aoi.todo replied to your story: the friendzone is a terrible place for my brother. luvfromy/n: huh!?! No way! Yuji doesn't like me like that there's no way!! We're just super best friends! aoi.todo: oh I see. aoi.todo: Say, Y/n, whats your type? luvfromy/n: uhhh well... selfless, enthusiastic, and incredibly kind people. someone who's like the sun aoi.todo reacted "👍" to this message

yuujithetiger replied to your story: No need to thank me for hanging out with my favorite person :DD luvfromy/n: :D Being with you is my favorite part of my day yuujithetiger: same here!!

yuujithetiger · 9w

430 likes Liked by megumi.fushi, barabara, and luvfromy/n

yuujithetiger She was the first to run on the field after I got a PR!! :DD I luv my best friend!

luvfromy/n I luv you too!! I'm so proud and happy for you! yuujithetiger luvfromy/n THANK YOU!!! i think I did better because you were cheering for me... just saying! luvfromy/n yuujithetiger well I'm glad I could help then! :DD

barabara nice job loser

aoi.todo THATS MY BROTHER!! choso.kamo aoi.todo 🤨🤨🤨

luvfromy/n · 6w

1.2k likes Liked by yuujithetiger, barabara, choso.kamo, megumi.fushi, and togetalks

luvfromy/n two weeks before homecoming! Had to cheer yuji on at his practice <3

yuujithetiger i always perform better when you're in the stands luvfromy/n yuujithetiger guess I'll just have to keep coming 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ yuujithetiger luvfromy/n guess you do :/// (:DDDDDD)

barabara tell your man to put a shirt on ����🤮 luvfromy/n barabara HUH? MEAND YUJI ARENT DATING!?!?!??! barabara luvfromy/n oh! that's interesting...

okkatsuyuta its like hes a machine when you're cheering for him! please keep coming to our games and practices!! luvfromy/n okkatsuyuta wouldn't wanna be anywhere else! I'll always be cheering for Yuji!

luvfromy/n · 6w

1.4k likes Liked by yuujithetiger, megumi.fushi, aoi.todo, barabara, and choso.kamo

luvfromy/n I almost CRIED! I'VE LITERALLY WAITED FOR THIS FOR SO LONG!!!

yuujithetiger MY HEART WAS POUNDING SHOWING IT TO YOU. I'M SO GLAD YOU SAID YES luvfromy/n yuujithetiger WHY WOULDNT I???? yuujithetiger luvfromy/n I THOUGHT I WAS IN THE FRIENDZONE! luvfromy/n yuujithetiger I THOUGHT *I* WAS IN THE FRIENDZONE!!

megumi.fushi finally barabara megumi.fushi literally. choso.kamo barabara listening to him talk about her nonstop was giving me a headache 😭😭

aoi.todo THATS MY BROTHER.

yuujithetiger · 5w

510 likes Liked by megumi.fushi, barabara, choso.kamo, aoi.todo, and togetalks

yuujithetiger the most beautiful girl in the world <3

luvfromy/n the most handsome boy in the world <3 yuujithetiger luvfromy/n homecoming was so fun! It felt like a dream being with you luvfromy/n yuujithetiger NO REAL! I was so nervous the whole time!! but being with you made it better (as it always does) yuujithetiger luvfromy/n I'm glad I could make you feel not so nervous :D luvfromy/n yuujithetiger you really are the sun <3

© https-milo. please do not repost, steal, copy, or modify my works!

Thank you so much for reading <3

[young-royals-confessions]

Hello hello, it's anon from the flight! And how lovely it's this fandom that I got a moniker from an anon confession? I've read the messages and checked the reblogs and wow! I seriously didn't expect for my unhinged message to be this welcomed since I'm three years too late to this beautiful show! With this beautiful people and thank you so much to everyone who recommended me to listen to the Simon-not-actually-made-by-AI actor. AND SINGER! BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED. I'm still in disbelief he's real, like Omar Rudberg is so pretty AND has such a nice voice??? AND HE'S GORGEOUS and he's a great actor and UGH THE CHEMISTRY. With who I now know iis called Edvin and now I feel the need to see them acting next to eachother forever and ever, so much chemistry can't be wasted!! (looking at Netflix. I'm still so crossed I missed out of this beauty for three years wtf Netflix)

SO I binge watched the second season, patience isn't my name, and WHAT THE FUCK. Was not prepared for that rollercoaster. I gotta be honest, I almost stopped watching and went to sleep halfway through the season like ugh I fucking hate that Marcus dude, sure in the end I understand why he was a necessary evil for the plot but I fucking hate love triangles. I was a teenage girl during the height of love triangles in tv shows, I hate them. But I hate August the most. I think of his face and feel enraged.

BUUUUUUUUUUT UGHHHH. THE LOVE BETWEEN SIMON AND WILLE. That overpowered everything. Seriously, how am I supposed to be functional after being a witness to their valentine's ball kiss? And Simon's song? (Which I have been obbsessively listening on repeat WTF I understand nothing but I can feel FEEL the meaning on my bones. This beautiful dude's voice wtf. I can understand Wille's obsession, I'm practically obsessed too now wtf)

AND THE END OHMYGOD. A BALM FOR MY SOUL. I was kind of hoping to get heartbroken AGAin for shit and giggles but noooo, I got the best ending and I'm trying to not be too spoiler-ey since I'm sure I'm not the only human being living in this planet called Earth who's unaware the most perfect TV show exists and it's called Young Royals and beautiful people are in it to everyone taste no matter your sexual orientation (like hello Felice too!)(still shocked Omar Rudberg is a real person and not generated by artificial intelligence, maybe I'll be convinced after some proper sleep time, but for now he's too beautiful to be real. Not even exaggerating and I'm really good at that okay!)

I'm still processing the second season, I took a nap after I finished but I'm still tired since I cried and laughed and was left with the biggest smile in my face (and I also was in an 8 hour flight!) and then went to youtube and saw a clip from season 3 AND OMFG THESE TWO DUDES ARE TOO PRETTY FOR WORDS. Happiness and love look wonderful in Wille, like the literal heart eyes he's delivering there? That's how I feel when I see Simon too. Relatable character is relatable. What can I say about Simon without sounding crazy except I need to protect him at all costs??

I don't know what else to say except THANK YOU for reading me and thank you to everyone who has been nice to me in the comments even when I'm still anon, it means the world to me. I hope I'll be more coherent after eight hours of sleep and I won't be too embarrassed reading my own message tomorrow lmao and I don't know how I'm going to survive until 2024 for season 3, I'm sitting here taking notes for that too! I already know the answer it's fanfics so I'll be checking AO3 but also analysis? Meta? how are you guys for real? I was expecting a teenage fandom with just vibes but I guess I was wrong. And I love it. As much as I love the show and Simon and Wille's relationship and I gotta be honest, Omar Rudberg's face and voice. UGH.

Thank you so much for reading me again and for everyone who has left messages for me, I'll freak out more once I get some proper sleep!

Thank you and I'm sorry again XOXO

YAY thanks for coming back!! 💜💜💜

[vanemando15]

A New Life

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Actor Reader

Word Count: 6k

Rating Mature - 18+ ONLY

Genre: angst 

A/n: It’s been a minute. I took a little break from writing. Life has been busy but as soon as I saw Pedro at the Oscars I immediately got inspired to write this fic. Thank you to the amazing @musings-of-a-rose for never allowing me to quit and helping me with this.

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

If you want to be added to the taglist, join here!

The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind. The apartment was pitch black. You had cried yourself to sleep as soon as you got in. After the emotional roaster that you had been on, you finally decide to get out of bed. Walking in a daze, on autopilot you made your way to the kitchen, where you realized that this was no longer how the home that it once was before. After making some coffee, you started packing all your stuff into luggage, waiting for your agent Chloe to come to help you. This time, there was no music pumping or him grabbing you to dance while you were cleaning or cooking. It was just you, alone, in a quiet apartment that you and Pedro once shared.  

After so many years spent together, now that it's over, you were left feeling confused and, honestly, lost.

Ring… Ring… Ring… 

Your phone was blowing up with text messages from Pedro.

Text Message - 11:29 a.m. Pedro - A, please answer me

Text Message - 11:30 a.m. Pedro - A, you left last night without letting me know. 

Text Message - 11:31 a.m. Pedro - A, I know you're upset but please answer me to let me know you're ok.

Text Message - 11:32 a.m. Pedro - Please answer me! I’m worried about you.

Text Message - 11:33 a.m. Pedro - I love you.

You angrily grab your phone and throw it against the wall, letting out your emotions with a loud scream.

“Anna! Are you ok? What happened?” 

Chloe, your agent, opens the door of the apartment and runs towards you, seeing you collapsed on the floor, chest heaving, and in tears. 

“You called me last night. Said that you were heading back from Calgary. Did something happen with you and Pedro? What happened? Why is Pedro calling me to see where you are?” 

Chloe brought you up from the floor and sat you down on the sofa as she went and grabbed some water to help calm you down. 

It was real. It really happened. All the hurt, all the pain was being turned into rage, bubbling up inside of you.

How can you move on from this?

Four years ago……

You never thought you'd give up your stable job in Miami to pursue acting. Being an award winning actress was something you'd always dreamed of, but taking the leap was never in the picture. When one of your good friends told you about an opportunity for a role in a show you took the chance and went to audition for it. They offered you the role on the spot, which was the final push you needed to give your dream a chance. After a couple of roles, you were excited when you got a small part in a new show called The Mandalorian. It wasn’t a major role, but you were to interact with the Mandalorian and bounty hunter, Din Djarin, who is played by Pedro Pascal. You had no clue who Pedro is, but you do know you're more than excited to be in a Star Wars series.

Prior to filming the scene, you were to meet up with Pedro to quickly run through your lines and placement. As you were preparing hair and makeup, he popped into the trailer to introduce himself. 

“Um, hi. Are you Anna?”

“Hi! Yes I am.”

“Oh hi! I'm Pedro. It's so nice to meet you.”

He extended his hand and as you were presenting yours a shock came between the both of you at the touch of his hand sending you jumping out of your seat.

“I'm so sorry! I guess I have too much static in my clothes."

He ran his hand through his hair nervously but covered with a beautiful smile that made your cheeks warm up.

“I just wanted to wish you good luck today and hope to talk to you more."

“Thank you for that. I hope so too."

As he attempted to walk out he slipped on the stairs to the trailer and hit his back on one of the steps. 

“Oh my God! Pedro, are you ok?" You went to go help him, but he quickly got up and acted like nothing had happened.

“No no no, I’m  good, I just wasn’t paying attention! See ya!” Embarrassed, he quickly left the trailer and shut the door. 

You smiled and giggled from just what had happened but carried on finishing hair and makeup before they called you up. 

After a long day of shooting, your scenes were done and finally were heading home where a bowl of cereal and a pair of pjs were calling your name. As you were getting closer to your car, you noticed a strange person pacing themselves back and forth by it. He was wearing thick square glasses with a dark blue long sleeve crew neck sweater, khaki shorts with colored stripe socks, and sneakers. If that didn’t give out sketchy stalker vibes then what will? The nerves started kicking in as you started reaching for your pepper spray inside your purse. 

From afar you started raising your voice to give a fair warning.

“Umm hello, whoever you are! I just want to let you know that I have pepper spray in my purse and I'm not afraid to use it?” 

“Hi Anna! It's me, Pedro."

Relieved but a little confused, you looked around expecting to see someone else. But the only people in the parking lot were you and Pedro.

“Ummm, hiiiii! Were you waiting here for me or someone else? Because I saw that you were walking back and forth by my car?”

“Shit, sorry to scare you like that. I mean yeah I was actually waiting for you”.

Taken back by what he just said “You were?”

He started laughing but in a cute flirtatious way. “Actually, I asked my assistant to ask when you were done filming so that I could track you down. I wanted to see if I could take you out for dinner."

Shocked, you let out a small chuckle. "Are you serious? Why me? Wait - how long have you been waiting for me?"

“Half an hour." He replied.

“Pedro, you should have gotten my number!" You laughed.

His fingers brush his mustache nervously .

“I think we clicked this morning and we hit it off when we were shooting. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you so I had to track you down."

“I think we hit it off as well. But next time get my number. Don't be getting all stalker mode.”

He let out the biggest laugh that made you smile.

“So is that a yes?” he asks as he puts on the cutest puppy face to try and convince you.

“Oh no, how can I resist that puppy face? Of course I would love to go out to dinner with you."

He took you to a Cuban restaurant in LA because you had mentioned to him during takes that you were home sick and missed your mom’s cooking. Not wasting any time you ordered a rum and coke as soon as the waiter came in. Not sure if this was a first date you were in sure need of liquid.

“Rum and coke?” Pedro asked.

“Yes, it's my go to drink and plus I'm a little nervous,” you replied. 

He chuckled “Nervous? Would it be weird if I'm kinda nervous too?.” 

Shocked and taken off guard you quickly lift your glass and chug half of your drink. 

Well this should be fun, you thought. 

“So tell me why are you single?” he bluntly asked you as he picked up his beer. He looked so relaxed asking you such a personal question.

“Straight to the hardcore questions I see, Mr. Pascal.” You jokingly tell him. 

“Life has been complicated for me and the cards never aligned with me. It’s hard to find someone to settle down with in this city.” you explained to him.

Pedro pushes his glasses back “Well….. maybe we can change that.” 

“Maybe we will.” as you looked at him while taking your drink. 

The night went on as the both of you were telling jokes, talking about each other's lives, interests and you come to find out that the both of you have a lot in common. Flirtation was on high alert between the both of you. 

While waiting for the check he popped open his phone and scooted close to you and brought you close to him. He turned on the camera of the phone and put the selfie mode and the both of you got together cheek to cheek and took a picture. 

“What is this for? Just in case you murder me and you have an alibi? Plus do you know that you are taking video and not camera?” you joked. 

“Oh crap I always do this wrong.” He quickly changes the photo mode and takes the picture. As he took out his wallet to pay the bill he presented his other hand to you and said “To answer your question I want to take a picture of us because it would be something that we can look back on as a reminder of our first date.” The biggest smile came from you as you believed he was hinting something to you.  

The two of you made your way through the neighborhood towards your apartment complex. 

You arrive at your doorstep, turn to him with a twisted smile, not sure what to do next. 

“Well this is my place. Thank you for tonight Pedro. I really had a good time tonight.”

Pedro smiled at you “I had an amazing night too, Anna. It feels good to go out with someone new that I can get to know and maybe more.” As he inches closer to you the keys from your purse slipped out as you were searching for them. Pedro grabbed them and his wrist accidently brushed your ankle and you instantly gulped, his touch made you weak in the knees.

He presents you your keys and his hand brushes your palm as he places the keys on your hands “I believe you need this.” 

“Clumsy me,” you blush. 

Pedro slowly approaches you once more “Just a little clumsy but it's cute.”

He places a soft short kiss and slowly retreats back a few inches and the both of you are stuck looking deep into each other's eyes. Without hesitation, you grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into an intense kiss. His energy matches yours by the roughness and gentleness that the both of you were having. He gently grabbed your neck and pulled you even more to him and the kiss grew to become more passionate. The both of you fall back against your apartment door. Your hands glide through his curls. You tease him by slightly biting his lower lip and in return he wanders his hands all over your body. The intensity was getting fierce between the both of you. When all of a sudden-

“Umm excuse me Miss?” The apartment complex security interrupted the moment. 

Your lips departed from his and the both of you started giggling as Pedro placed his chin on your forehead to brush out the embarrassment as the both of you waited for the security guard to leave.

Letting go of his hand, you placed a soft kiss on his cheek “I gotta go but thank you again. I hope for more soon.” 

You open the door, walk in and slowly turn back to him “Good night Pedro.”

Your life was never the same after that date. 

While your relationship with Pedro flourished, so did both of your careers. After the first season of The Mandalorian, Pedro went on to do several movies while you got several acting jobs that gave you the status per the tabloids of “Rising Stars to Watch”. After 2 years in the business you finally scored your big break in the role of a lifetime. You were cast as a series regular in Law and Order SVU. Filming for the show was done in New York which meant that you had to move from Hollywood to New York. This was a secret that you wanted to share with Pedro but you were waiting for the right time to share it with him. 

New Year's Eve 2019…

Pedro’s best friend Oscar invited you and Pedro to spend New Years with them in his apartment in New York. This was going to be the perfect opportunity to share the good news with Pedro. On the night of the party right before the clock struck 12, you pulled Pedro to the side and finally told him about the casting news and he couldn’t control his excitement. He grabbed you and twirled you around as the clock was striking 12 and in that moment he told you the words that you were waiting for him to tell you. 

“I love you A.”

You ran your hand across his little curl that was hanging in his face and you repeated the words back to him, “I love you.” and he gave you the most passionate kiss. 

He asked you to move into his apartment because he didn’t want you living alone when he had a place that he could share with you. Moving in with your famous boyfriend was a big step in your relationship but you felt that things happened for a reason so you accepted his offer to move in with him. 

One of the things that you loved and respected about Pedro was that he didn’t share his personal life events in social media. But he was so excited that he asked Oscar to take a picture of the both of you and in that moment, he posted the picture with a cop and heart emoji next to it. 

For the next three years, New York was your home for personal and work. Life for you was going exponentially well. Hard work was finally paying off when after two seasons you received your first Emmy nomination for your role in Law and Order. As your professional life was increasing in fame you were in an amazing relationship with an amazing man. Pedro was becoming the leading man in Hollywood with roles from The Bubble to The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent and he became the top notch actor when he was cast in the leading role of a lifetime as Joel Miller in The Last of Us. 

Crazy schedules between the both of you became the new norm for the both of you. Even though you had gotten used to the hectic schedule, it was taking a toll on your relationship and the spark wasn’t there as it used to be. While he was in Calgary filming, you had decided to go visit him because you had the weekend off. You wanted to speak to Pedro about the concerns you had. 

It was a cold spring day when you arrived in Calgary. You had called his assistant to check his schedule so that you could surprise him. They led you to his apartment that he was staying at in Calgary and you just waited for him to arrive. It was going to be a while until he arrived so you took advantage and took a nap. 

The next day….

You were awoken by the sound of a key entering the door knob. You quickly react and look at your watch and it shows 6am the next day. What had turned out to be a couple of hours ended up being the next day. You were only going to be there 3 days and you just lost one whole day. 

As he walked towards the living room he saw you on the sofa and was shocked by your presence.

“Babe? What are you doing here?” 

Slowly getting up from the sofa, you gave him a kiss to greet him. “Well, I came to surprise you and I had asked your assistant what your schedule was and she had told me that it was only a couple of hours of shooting so I decided to wait here for you. I laid down and I fell asleep.” 

Pedro looked tired and just wanted to go to sleep. 

“Yeah we had a long shoot and we finished a couple of hours ago. I just came straight here.”

Bothered by his response “Did your assistant tell you that there was something for you at the apartment?”

“I mean they did but I didn't know it was you. Why didn’t you just call me?” 

“Well you barely called or text me today, Pedro, or I would have just told you.”

Pedro slumped himself into the sofa and didn’t look at you. It had been almost a month since the last time the both of you had seen each other. 

You got up and faced him: 

“Ok something is going on. Pedro, is something wrong with you? Are you ok?”

It was in that moment as tired as he was that he told you that he thinks that the both of you need space. He felt at the moment that with everything going between the both of you and careers that it was best that you take some time apart to concentrate on your careers. Asking when he came to that realization and he expressed that he had been thinking about it for a couple of months but didn’t want to break your heart and never had the moment to tell you. Unexpected by the words and really shocked that he wanted to end the relationship, you didn’t wait to react. You quickly grab your stuff and leave the apartment without saying a word to Pedro and head back to the airport to catch the first flight back to New York. 

You hadn’t shed a tear yet since the bad news and you were just building it up inside until you arrived at the apartment. 

Current day… 

“Ready to go A?”

“What? Umm yeah. I'm just grabbing my purse.”

Slowly passing your finger on the frame that held that selfie picture from your first date. The last tear you would shed comes down your cheek and was quickly wiped away as you place the frame back on the stand. 

“I’m ready. Let’s go Chloe, I need to get out of this place.”

Four years of memories all cramped into luggage. You took one last look at the apartment as you unclipped the apartment key from your keys and placed it on the table stand. Not leaving a note was the best thing you did. Before you shut the lights and closed the door, you took one last look and quietly said “Goodbye old life” and shut the door. 

3 months later ……

Award season had commenced and you were busy attending the majority of events. Solo of course. Pedro hadn’t mentioned to the media about the breakup and neither did you. Every red carpet you attended, when a question was asked about him, you would just lie and say he was busy filming in Calgary and that was the reason he couldn't attend. With every question that was asked about him, you would swallow your emotions and try your best to not let it get to you.

The Emmys finally arrived and it was the event you had been anticipating. It ended up being the best night of your life because you won the Emmy you were nominated for. While everyone was expecting Pedro to be there, you brought your assistant as your date to the awards show. Looking beautiful in a gorgeous gown, you walk up the stairs to the podium to accept your award. In your speech, you were able to thank everyone - friends, family, cast, and agent, but no mention of Pedro. You returned to your seat where you would look at your phone which had endless missed calls and text messages but the one text or call that you really wanted never came in. Disappointed as you were, it wasn't going to let you drag the night. Arriving back to your hotel at 4am from celebrating in the after parties, right before you jump into your bed, the phone dings with a new text message. When you take a look you were surprised by who it was:

New Text Message 4:30am - Pedro - “Congrats A! You deserve it. All my love. P”

The message was there staring back at you. Should you text back? Should you not? Every single question arises from this one text from him but in the end you shut the phone off and went to sleep. 

The next two months you were filming in Venice for a new movie with Bradley Cooper. Keeping busy keeps you focused and not thinking about Pedro. A month into filming you had seen Pedro’s instagram that he was also in Venice filming a new commercial for a video game. But while the temptation was there for the both of you, neither one texted or called each other to meet up. While the gossip columns were creating rumors that there was an off screen romance with Bradley Cooper, and that he was your rebound from Pedro, you were always to laugh when you would hear such ridiculous rumors. 

You were asked to be a presenter at the Oscars, which was an amazing and exciting opportunity for you. Looking your best was your number one priority. Valentino had called you up and wanted to dress you for the event which made you excited, but also more nervous about going. When they presented you a rough draft of the dress, you were amazed by the presentation of the dress and how it showed off all your curves, which was exactly what you were looking for. 

A week before you were told that the last batch of presenters were announced, lo and behold, Pedro Pascal is one of them. In the height of his fame, between all his projects, of course he would be a presenter. A knot in your stomach came about from the news.

Will he speak to me? 

Will he bring someone? 

Oscar Day…

Oscar prep day was mayhem. You spent the whole day prepping. Immense pressure was building up as this was a once in a lifetime event and you wanted to look your ultimate best. Nerves were starting to creep as you settled in behind the SUV. Your hands were slick with sweat from nerves of going to this and at the same time seeing Pedro for the first since the breakup. As the SUV arrived at the Roosevelt Hotel, you felt like throwing up. Not only were you nervous about being here, you were tormented by the fact of running into him after so much time. As the driver walks around to open the door, one word pops out as you slowly whisper to yourself.

“Showtime”

The door is open and the whole audience looks at you and starts screaming and shouting your name. As you walked to the carpet you put on the biggest smile and wave to the crowd. 

Chloe had prepped you on what to do and where to go on the carpet. It felt like a video game that you had to battle through and get to the finish line. The finish line was the champagne carpet. Making your way through the red carpet, you took pictures with your fans and made your way through the interviewing portion. Still feeling overwhelmed and starstruck, the nerves kick into high gear when you arrive at your first reporter. The typical questions were asked:

“How are you doing?”

“Who are you wearing?”

“Who are you excited to see?”

The first two sets of interviews went by like a breeze. The champagne carpet was getting closer and closer as you finished each interview. No personal questions had been asked, but you were dreading the questions that would come from Entertainment Tonight. They would typically ask gossip questions and it wasn’t so much about the fashion. The interview started smooth:

“Anna, you look stunning. One of the best dressed of the night! I’m sure everyone’s jaws dropped as soon as you walked on the red carpet.”

“Well, thank you for that. It’s all the work of my amazing team that helped me get ready.” 

“Are we riding solo tonight?” - the question she was dreaded to be asked.

“Well, by date if you mean this nice Bulgari necklace that came along with the bodyguard then no I am not riding solo.” The interviewer laughed at your response and followed up with another question.

“Speaking of solo, there has been speculation that you and Pedro were possibly back together since the both of you are here today. Is that rumor true or should we put the rumor to rest?” 

You instantly cringed.

“Well I didn't know that he was coming tonight. Whatever happened between myself and Pedro is for us to keep private. It was a mutual decision to just stay friends. I am sure we will bump into each other tonight and we will be able to catch up. I know he has been busy the past couple of months so it will be great to see him.”

The reporter turned to the camera while you stared at her in the background “Well guys, there's a shot for you now. Good luck to all.” You giggled at her comment as she turned back to you.

“Before you go, I want to congratulate you on the movie you are doing with Bradley Cooper.” 

“Oh thank you.”

“I heard there was a romance. With everything that has gone with your personal life, how did you get ready for this role?” 

“With everything that has changed in my life the past year, whether professionally or personally, I have been able to use that experience and incorporated that into this role. Filming this movie has been a learning experience and being around veteran actors like Bradley has helped me become a better actor.”

“Well, that is going to be an amazing movie and I cannot wait to see it! Thank you so much and have a great evening.”

The interview concluded and a huge relief fell off your shoulders. The champagne carpet was next and then you are home free. The Champagne Carpet was just all photographers flashing lights and screaming your name to take different angles of you. Carefully, you walked to where there was a star placed on the floor which was where you were to stand. Everyone was completely mesmerized by your appearance. The stunning silk red beaded dress hugged all your curves. The dress featured a leg slit that was bound to make people’s jaw drop. To finish your look, you wore a matching necklace along with a pair of red stunner heels. As you posed for pictures, the paparazzi started screaming for your attention.

“Lady in red! Hey Anna over here!”

“Anna! Anna! Over here please!”

Feeling in the moment, you didn’t care who was calling your name. You made sure that every angle was taken of you and your gorgeous dress. 

As you were finalizing the last couple of shots, a change of phase was done and all of sudden the name you didn’t expect to hear was starting to be shouted. 

“Pedro! Pedro! Pedro!” 

With a smile on your face as pictures were taken of you, you just felt frozen and wanted to quickly get out of there. There he was, a few feet from you. You felt your blood was rushing from your head to your heart. Seeing him for the first time since the day you ran out of the Calgary apartment reminded you that whatever life you had shared with him in the past was just the past.

Taking a quick glance you saw him looking remarkably handsome. His hair was slicked back. He was wearing a fitted black tailored tuxedo with a white stand-collar shirt. Rings? Were those rings he was wearing? He reminded you of Dieter Bravo role with the rings. He had a ring on his left hand like a wedding band. Did he get married? Your chest started to compress on thinking that thought and not knowing if that was true. Did he come with a date? His wife? 

In a split second, you swallowed a sigh of relief.

“Javiera, big smile! What is it like coming with your brother?”

“Javiera! Pedro! Over here!”

Chloe noticed that you were trying to get out of there and quickly called your name before you cracked under pressure. You noticed from the corner of your eye that Pedro was starting to head to you and Chloe grabbed you so fast to take you out that Pedro didn’t catch your attention. 

“Anna, everything ok?” Your eyes wandered again back to Pedro as you saw him still taking pictures.

“Yeah I’m fine. Let’s go inside.” You nodded your head as it made you believe your flat out lie you were telling yourself. The last thing you wanted to do was to give the press newsworthy gossip. 

Luckily, they placed the both of you in different areas in the theater so there was no interaction between you. During the ceremony, you would engage and fangirl with all the celebrities that you met. Despite trying not to cross paths with Pedro, you had an overall good time at the ceremony. 

Few hours later, after the ceremony 

If there was an after party that one had to be invited to, it was the Vanity Fair party. You made your way through the carpet and into the party. Once you were given directions and you were inside the party, you headed straight to the bar to grab a drink.

“Rum and coke please?”

As you were waiting for a drink a strong hand grasped your wrist. You instantly turned and were taken back by who was in front of you. 

“Oh shit did I scare you? I'm so sorry.” Pedro directed you. 

Completely off guard, you grinned at him. In that moment, you really wanted to fall into his arms and give him the biggest kiss, but held back. Though you were still hurting from the breakup you were still in love with him. 

You laughed “No way! You didn’t scare me.”

He started getting giddy and sounded nervous as he complimented how you looked. As the place started getting crowded, Pedro moved closer to you.

“How have you been? I know we haven’t spoken since that day. I have been wanting to reach out but I figured you didn’t want to talk to me.” 

Looking directly into his eyes and not wanting to let your emotions out, you respond to his comment to be as real as it could get.

“I've been fine. Keeping myself busy with work.” 

“I noticed. Your movie with Bradley looks amazing. I’m really proud of you. You have come so far from being an extra on Mando.”

You gave him a meaningful smile. The music started getting louder and it was getting difficult to talk or hear each other. Pedro got even closer and now he was inches from your face. He slowly moved his lips over to you and whispered “I would like to catch up with you if that’s ok with you? Save me a dance ok?” 

It was clear both of you wanted each other.  As he gradually touched your arm a shock came across the both of you. 

“Ouch! Are you ok A?”

Rubbing your arm from that tingling sensation you laugh and smile at him.

“I guess we always shock ourselves.”

The party was electric. Champagne was flowing from wall to wall. Award winners were showing off their new accessory to everyone who was in attendance, while you enjoyed partying it up on the dance floor. Pedro was sitting close by and his eyes were on you as you danced with everyone in your vicinity. You knew he was watching, so you took the chance to dance the best way that would attract his attention. His close presence wasn’t going to let you ruin your night. The DJ was on point with the music that they were playing when all of a sudden the dj drops “Let’s Go Crazy.”

Shit, Oh no! This is one of his favorite songs!

Right when the first verse commenced, you felt a strong grip grab and turn you around.

“Can I have this dance?” You nodded. He grabs your wrist and pulls you into him. The both of you sway to the rhythm of the music. You place your arms around his shoulders, bringing you closer to each other. Everyone is for sure looking at the both of you. As the music continues, both of you had your eyes locked on each other. Things were heating between the both of you. His lips looked so delicious and you want to take a bite of it. The tension between you was orgasmic, making you breathless when the song abruptly ends.   

“Can I kiss you?” He asks. You nod your head up and down. He lays his hand on your side and brings you closer and places his lips on yours. It had been seven months since you last kissed him and yet this kiss felt like the first time he kissed you on that first date. 

Backing away from him you realize this was wrong. 

“I miss you A,” he quietly told you.

Seemingly confused, you let go of hands. He was probably talking nonsense. It was clear that the both of you wanted each other and alcohol was not helping the situation. He inched closer towards you again and glided his hand down your back, his fingers warm where your skin was exposed, pulling you closer to try and kiss you again. 

“I can’t do this.” 

Picking up your dress, you headed outside to get some air. The air felt crisp as you placed your hands on the edge of the balcony rail looking out to the flashing LA lights. Your chest started compacting. Breathing was becoming shorter. The lights were starting to become extremely bright and you were losing sense of what was going on with you and started to feel like you were going to faint. 

Were you losing your mind? 

Were you having a panic attack? 

Did you drink too much? 

Don’t make a scene at the Oscars. You can’t be on the front page. 

Placing your hand on your chest, you quickly tried to calm yourself when suddenly Pedro saw and quickly ran towards you. 

“Hey, hey! Look at me. It’s me. It’s me. Breathe, baby girl! Breathe, baby girl!” He slowly placed his hands on your cheeks as you looked into his eyes to calm down. The breathing started to slow back down, the flashing lights started to dim and come back to normal. Pedro grabbed you carefully and sat you down as he went to grab you some water. After a couple of breaths, you felt reality slowly coming back to you. 

He hands you the glass and sits next to you. 

“Are you ok?’’ 

You nodded. 

“What happened? Did I do something wrong? Was it the kiss?” 

“No, no. The kiss was ….” you paused and turned to look at his gorgeous face. “It was amazing. It reminded me of when we first kissed. But it just felt wrong.”

He slowly grabs your hands and your fingers intertwine with his. 

“I miss you, A. What I did was a mistake. I shouldn’t have let you go.” His eyes are pleading and wide just like a lost dog wanting to be loved again. 

Your heart starts to race. “P, I don’t think I can do this again.” 

“Why not?” As he continued to plead to you. “You don’t love me anymore? That kiss that we had back there showed me that there is still something between us. Don’t you want that again?” 

“Pedro, you decided to end this relationship. When I came back to New York I cried for you. I didn't know what to do or how to feel about myself.” Your heart starts racing even more and the tension is rising but you didn’t want to make a scene in front of people, so you hold yourself together. 

“Look. I didn’t come to this event hoping to see you after all this time. I just can’t deal with this. You're just too late Pedro.”

As you start to walk away from him, he grabs you once again. “You don’t mean that A,” he tells you with his glossy eyes. “I wasn’t thinking right when I told you that.” He doesn’t make eye contact with you. “I was just tired and overwhelmed by everything going on with my life. This show is brutal and kicking my ass but I want it to be perfect. I just lost myself in it. Everyday I woke up and I felt out of place. I feel empty inside and it's because you aren’t with me.” 

Visually upset, you rush towards him. “P, you could have talked to me, told me how you feel. I could have taken days off from the show to be together. But you didn’t do that. You just decided not to be with me. Four years! Four years of growing and experiencing life moments together and all for what? I don’t want to be with someone that can’t be open and then leaves them high and dry when things become difficult. I just can’t do that and I'm done with this.”

Wanting to get out of there, you quickly pick up your dress and started heading back towards the party, when you feel a hand pulling your shoulder around, spinning your whole body the opposite direction. His lips pushed against yours and his hands rested on your cheeks. You pull back after what felt like an eternity and look at his face. What you saw were sad eyes that made your heart ache. “A, I need you, I love you and I’m sorry.” You just needed to say it back. 

Say it. 

Say it.

You need him, you love him and you forgive him. 

But you don’t want to get hurt again. You slowly give his hands a slight squeeze and let them go.

“I love you P but I just can’t.” Your voice cracks as a tear finally gives way and slips down the side of your face as you walked past him, leaving Pedro all alone in the balcony as you disappeared into the crowd.

----------

General Taglist

@kirsteng42 @jediknight122 @theewokingdead @musings-of-a-rose @supernaturalgirl20 @mswarriorbabe80 @amb11 @tanzthompson @pedrohoe04 @danikasthings @balekanemohafe @groguspawbeans @the-ginger-hedge-witch @movievillainess721 @littlemisspascal

@thevoiceinyourheadx @christianyelichislife @harriedandharassed @certifiedhunter @meveispunk @mypascalito975 @mrsudontknowmeispunk @pepperpottsxxxx @quica-quica-quica @icanbeyourjedi @fatimaisabelpascal @stxrrylunatic

[bun-lapin]

YuYu the Universe - Chapter 1 (part 1)

Summary: The start of Yuna and Yuuji's adventures in another world

Word Count: 1.5k Genre: Slice of life Characters: (oc) Yuna Linh, (oc) Yuuji Han (intro post here) CW: light swearing, getting run over by a carriage for isekai reasons (author's note at the end of the post so I can yap a little longer lol)

Next Part - Fic on AO3

Walking alone down the side of an empty street, the young man’s steps are slow and distracted. He wears a clean and tidy high school uniform and absentmindedly tucks a strand of dark purple hair behind his ear. The late afternoon sunlight feels warm on his back but the heat is slowly fading with the passing hour. He holds the open book in his hands closer and closer to his face, trying to make out the words on the page with the dimming light.

“You know, it’s probably not a good idea to read and walk at the same time.”

Without looking up from his book, Yuuji replies, “I’m perfectly capable of multitasking, Yuna.” He glances up and raises an eyebrow at the girl standing in front of him.

Standing with one hand on her hip, Yuna’s posture is confident and combative despite her petite stature. She wears the same uniform as him but the fabric is more wrinkled and she has her jacket tied around her waist. A light breeze brushes her shoulder-length pink hair across her cheeks and she breaks out into a wide grin. In a playful voice, she teases, “Fine! Ignore me. Just don’t come crying to me if you end up falling on your face.”

Yuuji closes his book with a snap and jokingly replies, “Well! We wouldn’t want to ruin my beautiful face now, would we?” He walks over to her and lightly taps the book on top of her head.

The two of them begin walking together and continue down the street. Swatting the book away from her head, Yuna laughs and teases, “Hey now! Who said anything about you having a beautiful face?”

A dark cloud seems to pass over Yuuji’s face and he heaves a giant sigh, “Definitely not Jeff.”

Yuna blinks in confusion. “Who’s that?”

“He’s that guy I’ve been talking to for the past month!” Yuuji yells with a reproachful glare. Grimacing with emotional pain, he quickly covers his face with his hands. In a slightly muffled and miserable voice he adds, “He hasn’t replied to any of my messages for like a week! He definitely ghosted me!”

Shaking her head with an aggravated expression on her face, Yuna mutters, “Ugh! Fuck Jeff!”

In a voice still muffled by his hands, Yuuji quietly complains, “That was the plan…”

After taking a moment to roll her eyes, Yuna reaches over and pulls his hands away from his face. “You know what I mean! That guy is the worst! He doesn’t deserve to speak with my smartest, handsomest, most charming best friend!”

Yuuji sniffs and shoots her an appreciative half-smile, “Those are all very excellent points. And I thought I was supposed to be the smart one?”

Yuna grins and points triumphantly at Yuuji, “Exactly! So quit being a dum-dum about this guy who’s not even worth your time and come back to your senses!” With a softer smile, she lightly punches him in the shoulder and adds, “Don’t forget, I’ve always got your back!”

He smiles back at her, “Thanks, Yuna.” Looking up with a wistful sigh, Yuuji shrugs and says, “I guess I can’t stay hung up on this guy forever. Honestly, my luck has been absolutely garbage these days.”

Yuna’s eyes light up with a sudden idea. Turning to him, she practically shouts, “Oh! I know just the thing to cheer you up!” She then swiftly drops down into a martial arts stance.

Holding his book up like a small shield, Yuuji cries out in panicked voice, “No!! Yuna, no!! Please! DO NOT try to wrestle me!”

Still in her fighting stance, she replies with an excited grin, “It’s not really wrestling! I learned a new judo throw today!”

“THAT’S EVEN WORSE!” Aggressively waving his book in the air between them, Yuuji yells, “Stay back, you menace! You better not try anything! This is a library book!”

In a lightning fast move, Yuna grabs the book from his hands and skips away. “Yoink! Got your weapon!” She gleefully races down to the end of the street with her friend in close pursuit. Reaching an intersection, she stops to allow Yuuji to catch up to her and casually flips through the book as she waits.

“Is this a new series? What’s this one about?” she asks him, handing back the book once he finally reaches her.

Yuuji, almost alarmingly out of breath from the short run, coughs and sputters out, “It-it’s an isekai.”

They take a moment so that he can catch his breath. Then, after turning right at the intersection, they continue their walk.

“An isekai, huh?” Yuna repeats in a thoughtful tone. She seems to turn the words around in her mind for a few minutes. Turning to him, she asks, “Hey. Serious question time. If it were possible, would you really want to be sent to another world?”

Glancing down at his book, Yuuji considers the question for a moment before nodding towards Yuna. “Yeah, I think so.” With a tired and almost cynical look on his face, he adds, “Not a lot going on for me in this one, so might as well try another world.”

His steps slow and he comes to a stop. Looking at his book with a small frown, he considers the recent string of romantic disappointments that have built up in his heart.

Yuna smiles sympathetically towards her friend. Standing on her tiptoes, she reaches up and softly pats Yuuji on the head.

He flashes her a small, appreciative grin and then playfully shoos her hand away. As they continue walking down the street, Yuuji clears his throat and says with a feigned air of bravado, “Alright! That’s enough with the pity party.” Raising an eyebrow, he directs the question back towards her, “What about you? Would you ever want to be in an isekai adventure story?”

Looking up at the sky with a contemplative expression, Yuna lets out a long, humming kind of sigh. After briefly considering the question, she shakes her head with a smile and answers, “Nah! I don’t think I’d want to!”

Yuuji tilts his head and gives her a puzzled look. “Well, that’s unexpected! Aren’t you all about having fun and fighting? Think about all the bad guys you could beat up in a fantasy world.”

Yuna laughs and replies, “Good point!” Her smile falls a little and she continues in a more serious tone, “But suddenly waking up all by yourself in a strange world? Where absolutely everything is different? That’d be so scary! It’d be like your first day at a new school, you know? Starting over somewhere new without a single familiar face in sight…” Her voice trails off and she stares up into the sky with a somewhat anxious look in her eyes.

Yuuji watches her with a thoughtful expression on his face. Breaking out into a gentle smile, he then reaches over to ruffle her hair. After making sure he has her attention, he says in a reassuring voice, “Don’t worry about that kind of stuff. That’ll never happen! Just like you always have my back, I’ll always be there for you.”

Yuna laughs, “Guess we’re stuck with each other forever!”

They make a turn down a broad alleyway. Looking down at his book, a thought suddenly occurs to Yuuji and he asks, “What if we could go on an isekai adventure together?”

“Together? You mean, being transported to another world with my best friend?” Yuna pretends to think over the question before breaking out into a bright smile, “In that case, I’d definitely wanna go!”

Yuuji laughs and replies, “An isekai story with us as the main characters would be pretty crazy! I think I’d want to read a story like that!” Shaking his head with a sigh, he continues, “But, unfortunately, that would never-”

“That’s a really confused looking horse.”

“Wha-!? Horse??” Yuuji whips his head up to look. Sure enough, at the end of the alleyway, there stands a small, black carriage attached to a very confused looking horse. Although the alleyway is technically wide enough for the horse and carriage, it’s a close fit. More pressing than that though, is how out of place it looks for this part of the city.

The pair of humans and the horse stare at each other for a few moments in perplexed silence. The horse turns its head from side to side, as if trying to see either of the two humans more clearly than the other.

As the minutes pass, the sun begins to set and dark shadows creep into the already dimly lit alley. Finally breaking the silence, Yuna clears her throat and asks, “So… should we like, call the police or something? Animal control? Who are the authorities in this situation?”

Yuuji grimaces from the headache-inducing confusion this situation has caused. Shaking his head, he answers, “Let’s just turn around and go back-”

NEIGH~!!

The sudden sound of clattering carriage wheels and galloping hooves cuts him off. The pair quickly turn to see the strange horse barreling down the alley straight for them. Instinctively grabbing each other, both Yuna and Yuuji scream as the carriage descends upon them.

~ To Be Continued ~

Series Page - Next Part

A/N: I finally did it! I finally got over my crippling fear of writing Yuu OC content and wrote something for Yuna and Yuuji! I really wanted to write a slice of life fic because it's my favorite genre <3 I'll be splitting up the chapters into 2 parts since they're a little longer. Also, since this is my first multi-chapter fic, I'm starting a tag list for this series! Please message me or leave a comment if you'd like to be added to the tag list! This series will also be added to AO3 eventually so keep an eye out for that link if you prefer to read there~! <3

Tag List: @twstfanblog

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

Today marks one year since Issay's passing. I honestly thought about so many things, how I could honor him, and I thought the perfect thing to do would be to go to the cemetery. I bought him a bouquet of roses,and I decided to place it on some of my favorite poets' gravestones. I thought it would be a great idea, since Issay was also a favourite poet of mine.

I found a quote on one of the stones that said:,, Here lies a heart underneath this stone, when it was living and beating it could only love. Now he's in peace, because he scattered himself among the ones who he loved. " And I found that perfeclty fitting for today. It's okay to cry, and feel sad, but the love he has left us is tremendous, and I think that can ease our pain a bit.

Nothing or no one will ever

Make me let you down

Kiss them for me, I may be delayed

"Kiss them for me" - A song by Siouxsie and the banshees has been playing in my head today

I hope all the poets, and all his loved ones kiss him today in heaven. We fans sadly can't, but instead what we can do, I guess, is to live a life instead that won't let him down. That means a life filled with passion, love, and being unapologetically ourselves, because that's how Issay lived.

Rest easy immortal vampire lord, I hope you have a fun time filled with love up there. I hope you heard the beautiful tribute album so many beautiful souls made for you, and I hope you received all the heatfelt messages your fans sent you. I hope you are surrounded by your loved ones, and can continue to sing with others, like Bowie and Atsushi.

Holding the night, I long to sink down

Throwing everything away, just we two, like this

If we could be forgiven...

One of my favorite songs of Der Zibet is あるロマンティスト達の死 (Aru Romanticist Tachi No Shi)

When I first heard it, Issay's vocal performace made me cry, even though I didn't understand the lyrics at that time. But after reading the lyrics, I cried even harder lol.

Still, I would like to think that today isn't a sad day. I'm glad to have met a true artist like Issay.

All I can say is, 

See you later angel 🤍

[kadextra]

orv reading again 👏 major spoilers :3

time for me to admit I read through the entirety of the demon king selection, 28 chapters, nonstop for hours <3 I was fully engrossed and could not stop until it was done

I’m speechless tbh that was absolutely amazing. so much happened. I need to process through all the information but I will ramble now in big paragraphs as usual

.

.

.

best part was the “finding the real kim dokja” scenario ajhkahfjgkhkh that was so silly 😭 then I was completely shocked when dokja read his own information in the window and became a character. the biyoo captured part had me white knuckling my phone. Screams and cries at joonghyuk spamming worried messages to dokja for a whole day when he suddenly disappeared. going off alone to search for him when no answer was received….. hurghh

ADMIT IT YOU CARE ABOUT HIM 💥💥

dokja can read the constellations’ stories now and seeing king of a kingless world in action was so awesome!!!

when the actual game of the demon king selection started I thought “huh this is cool but sorta too simple…? lets see where it goes I guess” but then I soon came to realize oh! this was all just setup for the unexpected stuff which is going to come after the game. of course it was never gonna be so easy, orv defies my expectations yet again! (I should expect that by now<3)

onto the inner soul library(?), ohhh man it was fun to visualize the bookshelves stretching as far as the eye can see. seeing past characters who were eaten by the wall just Living There was a shock, and the mystery of secretive plotter grows

now the actual full-blown war that erupted?

what ghe hell what did I just read omfg IT WAS ONE CRAZY THING AFTER THE OTHER I WAS SHAKING THE WHOLE TIME

JOONGHYUK NEAR DYING THEN REFUSING TO REGRESS AND DECIDING TO LIVE HOLGFUGNITAJSUGUGJGJDA YUVJGUGFJGHFHFBDBBSBSVSVDHCJVKFJGBG DOKJA CRYING OVER HIS BATTERED BODY??? HAD ME IN TEARS. LIFE AND DEATH COMPANIONS. ASMODEUS KILLING SPREE LETS GO. URIEL DESCENDING??!!??!!?!?!?? BREAKING TGE TREATY BETWEEN EDEN AND DEMON REALM SACRIFICING HERSELF TO SAVE DOKJA LETS GO MY GIRL??? ? ??? 🔥 ⚔️🔥 SHES SO BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYTHING AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH. GORYEO FIRST SWORDSMAN THE GOAT. THE

The journey through the falling train-subway while the giant story narrated itself and highlighted the journey of survival taken to get here with each beloved companion. the love that brought everyone together now, even some who were unexpected (the two masters showing up alive made me emotional) all climbing upwards against seemingly insurmountable odds with the determination to fight to the end. succeeding at taking another step forwards to an ending created by their own hands.

lays down

[goodlucktai]

hi! this is quite embarrassing, but it’s currently two in the morning and I figured I wasn’t going to get any meaningful sleep unless I sent you this ask, so here it is!

you have absolutely no idea who I am, but I wanted to let you know that you were probably the first author I ever admired. I read all your tmnt fics on fanfiction.net (circa 2012, if I remember correctly) and after I managed to find my old account there tonight, I realized you also read some of my works, too. you left kind comments on some rather roughly written fics of mine, lol. and I have a god awful memory, but I’m certain I was ecstatic to get your feedback (to say the least). I was so jealous of your talent, but also so inspired. you really pushed me to continue writing even though you were never aware of it! and looking back on it now, I think writing might be one of the best things I’ve ever pursued :)

to this day I still write fics, albeit no longer for tmnt. and I’ve grown so much as a person and as an author — but every few years or so I still think about you and your works and that cute Mikey icon/profile pic you had for some time. going back to my roots and all, I suppose! I’m disgustingly sentimental like that, lol, but it’s nice to remember the things I’m grateful for every once in a while. and one of those things is you!

all this to say: I hope you’re doing well. I’m so happy to see you’re still active and writing. I might spend some time going through your ao3 just for the hell of it, even though I haven’t touched tmnt in so many years. you’ve had such a lovely domino effect on my life and I’m so glad I’ve finally found the courage to let you know that. I guess this is also a reminder to you, too, that you have had a positive, decade-long impact on a stranger, so who’s to say you haven’t touched the lives of so many others as well? you are so, so appreciated! 💛

there’s absolutely no pressure for you to post this ask or respond in any way — I just needed to thank you in the only way I could, and also wish you well. have a beautiful day! and please — keep writing! :)

i don't even know what to say. first of all, thank you for taking the time to send something so kind to me (if i cried over this at 6 am that's between me and god)

your timing is so incredible actually. i was laid off at the beginning of the month and i've been struggling to find motivation and inspiration since. and sort of letting myself sink into a self-doubt spiral. so this message really truly means a lot to me. and i'm going to think about it every single time i want to close a doc without at least trying to write something down

i'm so, so happy that you pursued writing, and honored that i could be a little voice of encouragement !! i hope everything goes well for you and that you remember you've always got someone in your corner <3

and thank you again ! thank you 🩷

[illiana-mystery]

WIP Wednesday

I've recently picked up another two fics that have been in hiatus. Hopefully, they will be fully updated soon 🤞🏾 But until then, here's a sneak peek of the current chapters of Prisoner of Love and Delivery for Mr. Pembrooke.

And read all the way through for the working plots of two upcoming fics. 😉

Taglist: @ghnaim24, @emily-ella-nightshade89, @goran-dafoe, @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky, @iobsessoverfictionalmen, @goodoldcharley

---

Prisoner of Love

(Author's Note: Geiger changed his name to Sam Gilbert, which is mentioned in Chapter 1. That's why she calls him Gil, although it's also a meta joke because I can't help myself.)

You didn't see him or hear him so as soon as he grabbed you from behind, you jumped.

"Gil," you grumbled. "You scared the shit out of me."

He chuckled before moving his lips to your neck, pressing little hickeys into your tender skin.

"Well who else would be here, Shy? It's just you and me," he hummed into your ear. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept perfectly," you honestly answered. "Because I was wrapped up in the arms of my sweet lover."

He smirked.

"You know why I had to keep you here, Shy," he started while kissing your shoulder. "Because I couldn't bear the thought of us being apart or you getting hurt. But now my fears have fallen. I trust you and the world. I just hope I won't regret my decision."

"I know, honey," you moaned. "But I'm glad to have my freedom back. I promise I won't leave you. I love you, Gil. Promise."

"I love you too," he hummed, before you moved your head and kissed him. Swiftly, he deepened the kiss before you both just looked at each other again.

You could both tell that you wanted to continue with the activities of last night. And just that twinkle of lust in your eyes gave him the green light he needed.

"Seeing you so joyful and hopeful like this, Shy, is really beautiful. I would like to adore you more."

"My hopefulness is sexy to you?"

"I guess it gives you that spark, that light that I like, you know?"

"Reminds you of how bold I was when we first met?"

"Yes. You just read my mind," he flirted in your ear, before instructing you, "Stay still and press your hands to the glass."

You nodded and swiftly obeyed his command, which earned you a sensual caress around your waist. His skinny, calloused hands just felt so good on your sensitive skin, it made you want to cry.

Your fiancé's touch never made you feel like that. So it was more than strange to you. And you let him know that by your reaction to his soft strokes.

"You really were starved," he moaned into your shoulder as his fingers moved down to your waiting cunt. Your legs were closed, but soon he kicked them apart to get full access of your jewel.

"Daddy!" you cried as his digits began to move inside of you. Immediately, your body reacted by leaning closer to him although your hands remained on the glass.

Your rough breaths stained the glass like your fingerprints and you watched as it condescended near the reflection of his smirking face.

"Let go, babygirl," he instructed. "Let daddy know how good he made you feel."

---

Delivery for Mr. Pembrooke

"You're going back to Old Man Pembrooke's tonight?" Los asked, startling you. You had just come out of the employee bathroom, now dressed in another loungewear set that was yellow and decorated with chibi spaghetti and meatballs on the top.

But seeing Los again surprised you. It was your first time seeing him again since the morning. And you figured that everyone was gone since it was so quiet when you came back from your all-day shift.

"Yeah," you answered, noticeably looking around.

"Don't worry. I'm the only one still here. I had to help Renae with some minor tasks."

"Oh," you replied, opening your employee locker. That's when Los noticed the bouquet of yellow roses.

"Did he buy you those?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

"It was the mystery item," you explained. "Surprised me too. He even included a sweet message. I was wearing one of them in my hair, but I put it back in the vase. Luckily when I came back from dropping off two deliveries after visiting him, no one was around so I was able to sneak these in my locker. Only you know about them."

"And I'll keep it that way. They don't need to know," he assured. "But I do wonder..."

"What?"

"I don't mean to overstep but Tasha, do you like Mr. Pembrooke? Like actually like him? I used to think you just pitied him, but it seems like there's more to it."

"Los, if I'm being honest, I've liked him from our first encounter. It was never pity. I wanted to visit him again to check on him. I like delivering his groceries. He really is sweet if you get to know him. And I know this sounds weird, but I think he's quite handsome for his age..."

Los shrugged.

"No judgment. There's plenty of older women I deliver to that I find attractive," he admitted. "And honestly, I think it's sweet that you're so kind to him. I always thought he just needed a friend too. I got mad respect for ya, Tasha."

You giggled.

"Thanks, Los. Just promise me you won't tell anyone."

"I won't, promise," he insisted, before saying, "I did learn something interesting about him, though."

"What do you mean?"

"I found an interesting documentary on ESPN Classic while scrolling through the channels yesterday," he explained. "It was called..."

"Behind Lionel Pembrooke?"

"Yeah! That's it. Wait, did you know he was an Olympic ping-pong gold medalist?"

"My dad was a fan," you started. "Didn't realize it was him until yesterday. Then again, I haven't thought about Olympic Ping-Pong in years."

"Hmm, guess you were destined to melt his cold heart then."

You laughed.

"It's nothing like that," you insisted. "We're just friends...I mean we just met."

He nodded, but also sported a smirk on his face.

"Right. Well I'll leave you to it. Don't want to keep the old man waiting," he teased. "See you tomorrow, Tasha."

"See you," you said back, hugging him before he grabbed his bag and left.

Once he was gone, you finished packing your work clothes in your bag and grabbed your flowers. You were about to turn around and leave when you were startled by Renae.

"I'll lock up," she told you. "Go on ahead. I'm sure Lionel's waiting for you."

You smiled.

"Thanks, Renae."

"You bet, rookie. Also check your text. I thought you should see your review."

You looked puzzled, but did as she said. You toggled to her message and immediately began to read.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I don't know where Grocer found Natasha Roundtree, but I'm starting to believe they found her after she fell from heaven. I've never had such wonderful service from this company until she delivered my groceries for the first time yesterday. She was so kind and compassionate, she even helped put up everything after I threw my back out. So after she left, I immediately requested that she deliver my groceries from now on. But I don't want to be selfish. I definitely want her on Tuesdays, but any other days, you should request her. And give her a good tip too. Honestly, I couldn't recommend her more.

Your eyes started to tear up as you read every line. Renae had told you how sweet his review was, but actually reading it made you feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

"He really likes you, Tasha. I've never seen that man give any other delivery driver five stars. At the most, three and he was just being nice."

"He really is sweet once you get to know him."

"I know. He wasn't always like he is," she stated. "I met him the year after he retired when I was a kid. I used to play table tennis and he was signing autographs and meeting fans at the convention center. He was so warm and inviting to everyone. It's sad to see what he's become. I don't know what turned him into the monster of his street, but I'm glad you're starting to turn him back to who he was previously."

"Wow," you moaned. "Maybe I'll learn what happened in due time. I'm not gonna force him to tell me though."

"Yeah, don't," Renae agreed. "Now get out of here. I'll see you tomorrow."

You laughed.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

---

Okay now onto the working plots of two upcoming fics. I've been stewing and talking over these with some close mutuals, and I think I've finally come up with something concrete for both.

One of these fics was a long time coming, the other is an ambitious crossover. But I think they'll both be enjoyable.

Let's start with the one that was a long time coming...

Snow Angel (Leonhard Seppala)

Two years after the tragic death of his wife, Leonhard is shocked to find a strange Yup'ik Native Woman sleeping in his bed with her two huskies, Hedy and Laika, by her side. After waking her, he learns her name is Tatiana and she broke into his home for warmth and shelter after being lost in a snowstorm. She volunteers to leave, but he lets her stay since she kind of reminds him of his wife personality wise. In return for his kindness, she helps him around his home and bonds with his huskies. And as they spend more time together, they both fall madly in love. However, their budding romance is soon disrupted by Tatiana's uncle and baby brother who come to bring her back to her home village. Since she is the de facto leader, she does go back. But will she stay in the village or will she follow her heart and return to Leonhard?

And now the ambition crossover...

Standing Ovation (John Geiger and Mike Hubble)

In a strange game of cat and mouse, Executive Director Sinclair Banks is being pursued by not one but both of her new hires at the Vancleef Arts Center. One of them is the Director of the Music Education Department (Mike) and the other is their IT/Security Guy (Geiger), handling all the security tech and the system that all of the venue uses. The two constantly flirt with her, although she always rejects their advances. But that all changes when Geiger comes up with a plan to ambush her in the theater. The two men pick a night where she's in her office late and inact their plan. First, Geiger purposely makes the power go out, which makes her panicked. Then she tries to find a light source before Mike comes up behind her and chloroforms her. He brings her to the theater and she wakes up in one of the theater chairs. She's confused and tries to leave before both men come through the only unlocked door and ambush her. They lead her to the stage, giving her the performance she had been dying for. Will she be theirs after? Or will she resist their charms after the ambush?

---

Alright, well that's all for now. I'm currently trying to get my writing schedule for this year straightened out. So hopefully I'll put out more content frequently. Wish me luck. 🤞🏾🍀

[coeluvr]

Hello dearest!

I don't usually write messages because I have weird, shy internet anxiety, but I wanted to make an exception because compliments always motivate me to keep writing and I need u to keep writing so I can finally h*ld Vincent's h*nd!!! 😔😭🤡

This is one of the few IFs where I actually want to romance all ROs!!! Usually, I have a few I really want to romance and the rest I slog through cause completionist tendencies. But you've done a wonderful job of not only making the characters feel very alive and dynamic but also making them all appealing and attractive.

I usually always want to romance the hater because pettiness fuels me but also love angst with a kill them with kindness mc (I WILL H*LD VINCENTS H*ND OR DIE FIGHTING GOD). So, confirmed Vincent-mancer. His art? HIS EYES. HIS LIPS. PRETTY PRIVELEGE IS REAL AND ALL CRIMES ARE EXCUSED (also I really tried going into it being like he's not sad!!! But, as someone who's been in that place, while not an actual war, he definitely comes across as sad in the sense of a weariness at life and that he's struggling to fit back into his skin as pre-trauma Vincent. Artist did a 10/10 job with all the art because THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL I CREYYYY)

But the chokehold Hunter has on me? They were gonna be first because their personality is appealing to me both fictional and irl but omg everything I read I HAVE TO HAVE MORE. Like it's moved beyond I'd definitely vibe with this character and look forward to their route to i WANT TO SMOOCH THEIR PRETTY FACE OFF. So now confirmed Hunter-mancer (I actually died on the tattoo snippet on patreon is it a good or bad day to be bi?)

Helios kind of types I'm more of a 50/50 with, but obviously gotta do it for the juicy drama. But all stuff with him has just been so ??!!!???😳😳🫠 like he just leaves me more intrigued. Confirmed Helios-mancer. (The amount of times I'm gonna replay his route to try different things is actually gonna be crazy)

Soarine hot women nuff said. But also just ???!!!?!? I can't even form words. I'm so excited for more scenes with her. Confirmed Soarine-mancer. (Ma'am pls step on me respectfully and not so respectfully)

Fadiya as the official best friend (Hunter you're a bestie too but I feel bad like I'm making u choose between me and Helios :((( ) is usually one I'd keep strictly platonic. I love platonic routes as much as romance and nothing grabs me more than having a best friend character in IFs. BUT SHES SO ADORABLE. I WANNA SMOOSH HER CHEEKS. Also I feel her cause I'm that oblivious too 😭😭😭 I always appreciate ifs having the shy and bold type flirting but I need an oblivious idiot one because I'd be accidentally flirting with her like I do with all my friends without realizing I'm in love with her (and then be unable to speak to her once I realize because flirting? With people that aren't just platonic friends??? That I have feelings for????? Sounds fake). I gotta write the fanfic now (and perhaps share with u once I get over my shyness)

I really am looking forward to the next chapter! I'm so glad I subscribed on patreon too :))) keep up the good work (it also motivates me to cure my depression and post my stuff too)

💙💙💙💙💙

This is so sweet, anon 🥺 Thank you for sending me this message!!

I'm so glad all of the ROs are appealing to you! I love them all so much they're all beautiful and have so much to their stories. 🥰

Vincent's pretty privilege is insane lmao so many people folded when they saw him 😭 I guess Vincent's inner sadness seeped through because he's really okay #trust but then I probably have a wildly different definition of okay haha very low standards of living over here. He was also never trauma free lol my man just going through it. 🤭

I understand your love for Hunter!! They are just very... very. The tattoo part is one of my favs too they're so smooth with it like okay you're popular with everyone we get it 🙄 *cries to sleep*

Helios is super interesting to me because of the way he handles things and his mindset like I need to study him under a microscope. His route will definitely fulfill all your desires for drama! 🥳

Soarine hot woman. Real. She can ruin my life any day.

Fadiya is perfection and a gift from the gods because she's just so 🥹🥹 I love her to bits and she's going to be so fun to write.

Thank you for your kind words! I love these kind of messages so you're right hehe. Definitely gave me a boost! 💗

[lily-alphonse]

So This Is How It Ends by Lily Alphonse

Rating: Teen (Canon Character Death, Nonexplicit)

I wonder if the new generation of Zora are taught that I faced my death bravely. That I died an honorable death. My death did not feel honorable.

Mipha’s spirit is tainted with bitterness while she remains trapped in the possessed divine beast.

Written for #Zora May by @prisiidon, prompt: Ghost. I realized recently I've never really taken the time to sit with the utter tragedy that is the sacrifice of the BOTW Champions. So this fic does not have a happy ending, though I guess you could say it's bittersweet.

This is a short one, so I will post it below as well as the link to AO3 if you'd like to show your support there or check out my other fics.

Read on AO3

⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝

I was so blessed. 

Hylia gave me her blessing so that I may heal the wounded. 

My father, King Dorephan, gave me his blessing so that I may pilot the divine beast. 

I do not feel blessed anymore. 

I knew I was never meant to be a warrior. But I could not have guessed I was a sacrifice, destined for slaughter. 

I wonder if the new generation of Zora are taught that I faced my death bravely. That I died an honorable death. 

My death did not feel honorable. 

I sent out a distress message as soon as I felt something amiss. I was not even certain I was in danger yet, but I was alone, and afraid, and something was coming. I yearned to have Link at my side. I knew if he was there I would be alright. 

I died alone and afraid, having only barely lifted my trident. The heartbreak, the pain, it did not feel honorable. My skin parted like thin parchment, my scales a disgrace to those battle-hardened in my lineage. I did not scream only because the fatal strike came too quickly, but I would have. I would have screamed and cried and begged for my life if I could, honor be damned.

I was not facing my death, to my knowledge, until I was. I had promised my father that I would return unharmed. He had tears in his eyes. Did he know that he was sacrificing his daughter to Hylia? Perhaps he did, since he would have preferred I did not go. But if there was anything I could have done to help, I would have. 

I wonder if Hylia chose me for my naivety.

The Goddess knows, I was never built to put up a fight. Even with so much to live for. I wonder if She made me love Link so I would have more of a reason to fight. But he had always been the fighter. I was the healer.

I was the People’s Flower. Beautiful as a blossom, and just as delicate. At least I make an attractive statue.   

I used to wonder why I was always so small and fragile compared to all of the other Zora. I hated it, then managed it with a begrudging acceptance granted to me by a few more years of wisdom. I reasoned perhaps it made me a better healer, humbled me into a better understanding of the feeble.

Then Link came back to me as a man grown, and I thought I finally understood: Hylia had created me for him.

We fit together like two pieces of a broken shell, two fragments of hearts ravaged by an already tumultuous existence. The fighter and the healer, the reckless and the cautious. I rose and fell with him as my moon. He could always make me smile. But he respected my sadness and grief, too. He would join me in it, before cheering us both up. 

He took my hand once when we were alone one night, and confessed he felt safe with me. He did not need to tell me for me to know, but it made my heart soar. No one else got to see this side of him, to see the tears of Hylia’s Hero. I should have kissed him that night, but I’d never had much of a backbone.

Why did I have to have one when it came to making that final, fatal decision then? Perhaps I never had a choice, and it was a bravery Hylia planted in me in the end. Perhaps I was inspired by his bravery. He is the best of us, after all. I suppose I am glad it was me who perished, and not him.

⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝

He came back. 

Seeing his face again lit my soul on fire, my being suddenly at war with itself where the curse’s decay had changed me. 

I wanted to be happy to see him, but the longer I watched him in the beast, the more I knew he was changed. An angry voice inside me hissed that he was not the man I had fallen in love with. 

This era had scarred him. And I was a much older scar.

I have the terrible thought that I hope the Water Blight succeeds in killing him. Then he will join me in my grief once more, for all of eternity, and I will not be alone. 

⫝⫝⫝⫝⫝

He defeated the darkness. 

It lifted off of my soul when he finally released me from my entanglement with Ruta. I could almost sob with the sudden lightness, if I could cry anymore. It seemed impossible to feel anything negative now, though I could not help but feel a bit hollow for it. 

I spoke to him with a strange new calmness, the dark bitterness that haunted me for a century releasing its hold on my heart. I was happy to see him. He could always make me smile. 

I consider what I would like to pass on to the land of the living, to the three men that have shaped my heart. 

“Please tell my father that I am sorry.” The king would not have allowed me to go if I did not promise to return. He was a good father. 

“Tell Sidon to believe in himself.” The unfortunate lone heir to the throne, now. He doubted himself so often, despite having such incredible power and love within him. He would make for a great ruler one day, if he could only get out of his own way. 

“And Link?” I asked hesitantly. There was something of faint recognition in his turquoise eyes that cried out to my heart. But I was a part of his past now, and it would not help him to drag him into my grief for a final time. “Nevermind.” I smiled at him and bid him farewell. 

He left me alone to pilot the beast again, and I prepared to help him one last time before my soul faded away.

[thisdreamplace]

hi is anon who writes too much haha! Hru💗

I want to share some experiences I’ve been having and a question

just really letting go and being.

life is really Beautiful when you just be

one extreme subconscious belief i guess I had was “everytime when good things happen. Bad things always do” I used to really spiral over this. I was so afraid. But then I asked myself “ can I let go of this and know all is okay? that god is on my side, that everything will be ok”. I was crying one night fearing “what if everything is terrible and will never be ok “ I allowed it but the something just came into awareness “what if I can trust god. what if I can trust and let go” and I did, I still felt like a crying mess and so very saddened. but I had a sense of trust , my heart was filled with love.

(I’ll speak in 3rd person but ) anon also had a huge fear or want. to being mysterious like… not telling anyone how they felt lalala or even feeling embarrassed about telling how they felt about something like they where right or wrong or how they inferior if they where nice lala. When I realized that was also conditioned, not my burden to bear I cried in relief, knowing just this was never something I needed to let go off. I’m ok haha

I feel like also one thing is we conditioned our self to others behaviors and what we determine as us (the false self) like example I realized my specific negative thoughts where a pattern. I asked myself “ do I really think this way? or am I conditioned too?” “Is this really me?”, my fears and thoughts and wants and needs are all just what I’ve always thought I needed to have, haha living a life without any of those is sure scary but… not a bad! More like a new unknown understanding! Like knowing there’s no meaning behind it , like the thought itself being a conditioned thing, idk it feels just nice , I can leave it be , beacuse it doesn’t mean anything.

The key is no longer allowing it to have meaning for you. - thisdreamplace

now I live my days having fun :) or even just being or enjoying all knowing I’m not bound to anything. it’s nice even when the hard times happen , still need to work on that tho 🐭

my question is.

when circumstances or even a overwhelming situation , or even badly reacting to something and you regret it. How do you deal with it, I always surrender to god and know everything will be ok. But I’m wondering if you have advice haha, like what are some things you do to regulate and help in times like this. sometimes moving on (letting go ) of everything feels a bit terrifying , even how do you stop seeing things as a bad moment? sometimes the heart feels so full and the head feels so firey

hope to talk soon again I miss your posts dream 🌌thank you for everything once again

-anon who talks too much 🍩

hewwo <3 i hope youre doing well!! sorry its taken me some time to finally write back !!

i love all of this ! feeling everything out, while simultaneously allowing yourself to feel that possibilities can be different. i love reading messages from yall, because they always spark deeper understandings in myself as well. it's a really beautiful cycle between us

hmm i think to answer your question, i usually don't try to make something seem other than how i feel it is. instead i accept it all in that moment, or at least try to anyway. it's not always easy of course. but through acceptance you have a lot less resistance toward an issue, and like that it can easily be transformed. so its not always about making ourselves drop it, sure its nice if we can. but if not, its okay to be there in that moment too. allowing it to be what it is, and moving on when the emotions arent as heavy.

anyway <3 thanks so much for reaching out again !! :') and awwwe thank you. i havent had much inspo lately, life has been really busy but ofc, whenever inspiration strikes, you'll see another post by me !!

[biggestthighestgeminiest]

Here are my combined thoughts about Barbie (2023) as I saw it on the 18th and have had more time to think abt it.

Some good, some bad - overall I very much enjoyed it, laughed my ass off, cried quite a bit, was enthralled by the set and costume design, but left feeling like some things were off and perhaps not accomplished in the best way. This will all be delivered in bullet points in a very chaotic and random way and is NOT ordered in importance omg. Anyways i love media analysis and I will probably not explain this in the best way but HERE WE GO

the casting was fantastic, everyone read the assignment and lived their campiest life, margot robbie was phenomenal and ryan gosling absolutely killed me with laughter, glorious glorious

set design, costume, props,, perfection when it comes to bringing the mattel products to life. bangin'

i had that stupid fucking dog that eats and shits. i lost my mind when he came on hsdgkhakh

the message of barbie being representative of all little girls is still very lost on me. the idea brought up when barbie speaks to the teens, where they tell her that she gave them unrealistic body standards- well this never really gets resolved at all. Yes there was a diverse range of Barbies but they were all still beautiful in a conventional way that adheres to western beauty ideals. every barbie has perfect hair and skin and clothes even by the end of the movie. and yes i guess barbie is supposed to be this "above everything else" sort of divine feminine beauty but is still not representative of most young girls. as hilarious as the line narrator's line about margot robbie is, it sort of knows itself, that it is showing us the most perfect looking women, but doesn't address it at all beyond a simple joke. honestly what will mattel do beyond this? i imagine people will be more than happy with this movie so they won't have to make any big changes. i mean their "curvy" fashionista isn't close to being fat, and i don't believe they will ever make a barbie that isn't conventionally beautiful... so this movie just sort of gets to say it's about accepting yourself without actual real-life substance if that makes sense? it reminds me of that cartoon of all those diverse yet conventionally attractive models, with diverse people who don't fit those standards standing outside that box looking angrily. what's the point of the film at the end of the day when not addressing all those people left out of the conversation? also made me annoyed that cellulite was still the big thing that barbie was concerned about, like really?? it's a bad example as people are coming to embrace cellulite and it's also relatively easy to hide, i don't think they would have margot robbie have like, idk, dark under eye circles or a double chin,, idk someone say this better than me but the cellulite thing annoyed me (as someone who has loads of it!!)

the plot was BONKERS and i for one don't really care about plot holes or cartoon logic. there were some things that made me overthink about barbie lore and then i thought to myself that it doesn't really matter. the campiness of it is more important. im sure it will deter some people but again i dont mind it being silly in that way as long as it delivers on its messages and themes, which it does to a certain extent

absolutely lost it at the you are kenough shirt, ljadhkglkhd

as i said in a previous post i predicted that it was going to be the mom who was paired with barbie. i loved the idea sm and it was very heartwarming

i CRIED when barbie first sat down and watched the humans around her living their life, she was so overwhelmed by so many emotions and it was such a simple moment of show-dont-tell and man did i weep :))

i LOVED the ken bits and i did feel as though there was a bit too much ken. especially at the end. but at the same time i loved the dance sequence. its hard loving it so much yet wanting it not to have been to prevalent. i felt like it took away from the barbies a bit which goes against the whole point of the movie????

um the barbie's plans of distracting the kens was... i guess reminiscent of all these spy or superhero movies where women use their beguiling nature against men to get the upper hand? like i am woman so i will flirt with man to distract while my team escapes and hooho it works :)) it was slightly different and not overly sexy or about flirting but it still had the same undertone. like really? the best way to get the other barbies out was to continue to conform to patriarchal standards and pump the ken's egos? surely there's a better way? yes the kens are idiots and turning them against each other works but it still felt a bit icky. i guess i just find this trope annoying being like... ok i am being taken advantage of men so i will USE the thing they oppress me for against them,, idk surely surely there's another way.

also America's character's plan of kidnapping the barbies and ... using very true and very valuable feminist lines to snap them out of it felt... weird? like what she was saying was 100% true but taking them out of context and almost using them as one liners made them feel less serious???? like making women "wake up" by just telling them about how the patriarchy takes advantage of them is just... idk. like in real life women who are indoctrinated and truly believe misogynistic things won't just wake up by being told such a line. and i know the barbies are brainwashed to forget their powerful feminist backgrounds so it's not entirely comparable to the women i just mentioned but... idk it felt disingenuous. i did laugh my ass off at the guitar scene but it still had that ickiness attached like..

i would watch this movie again, no doubt about it and i will definitely pick up on new things and easter eggs etc

mattel's board did make me laugh, perfectly casted and performed but again- mattel has its name on this. they know what they are doing. they know we will love this movie and not demand any change. it will still be full of men controlling the output of production. it will still put out products that don't reflect all young people's desires. it will still make products that uphold current societal norms. so having these buffoons in the board meeting just gets soured a bit when knowing these people will still be in power in real life....

the ruth bit made me cry and no i do not care that her ghost is just around. i loved it

the marketing team knows exactly what they are doing. the huge push of promotion made me gobble up all their interviews and im sure people will be buying all the barbie products. i am yet another victim of capitalism and i will thank them for it when i inevitably buy their you are kenough sweater

again i loved this movie despite all the bad things abt it. i love being critical of the wider impact of this movie while still enoying it as a piece of media and entertainment. i needed this movie and fuck it i want to go to barbieland so bad. i know i shouldnt. i love ken and think about ken more than i do barbie which is fucked up but the movie also played into it in a way,, as described before. i mean even ryan gosling being so iconic in all the interviews is adding into this lol. how many people are posting videos of him vs videos of the actresses i wonder.

also cockring ken. BUT HE WASNT WEARING THE COCKRING SO WHATS THE POINT EVEN???

the narrator was an interesting choice, personally wasn't a huge fan of it but it did somewhat fit with the rest of the cinematic language of the story so i can't say much about it

mattel knows exactly what its doing with putting its name on this movie. i think greta did a great job despite the constraints that mattel probably put on her,, it's hard to tell if the flaws of the movie come from the corporation's infuence or from the writer and director's creative decisions, most likely it's a combo of both. again i believe that the actors and designers and production team did a fantastic job with what they had, they committed to the bit. i would have loved for the movie to have been better, but it is still a great film in my book. as said before i would watch it again and would still enjoy it despite the flaws. the himbo part of my brain can shake hands with the media literacy one and emerge with an overall positive experience, yet PLEASE do not think this is the ultimate feminist movie, it is a step in the right direction, it could have been better, and i understand if you don't like it at all. but also i dont think it would be right to blindingly love it and call it perfect bc it's not.

[mzannthropy]

🎄🎄🎄Merry Maudmas 🎄🎄🎄

A Christmas Inspiration

The setting is a boarding house, where five young women are gathered in Jean Lawrence's room. Jean is the popular girl, extroverted and friends with everyone, the Philippa Gordon type. She works at one of the city's biggest newspapers. It's never mentioned which city this takes place in, but I'm guessing, from what I know of LMM's life, that it's Halifax.

It's Christmas Eve and the girls are gushing over the presents they've received from their loved ones. They couldn't go home for the holidays: Jean is an orphan, though she has a brother in Montreal who sent her a box of gorgeous roses, two girls live too far away to make the journey and the other two, who are sisters, have a brother who got sick with measles.

As they happily chatter away, Beth Hamilton, who notices things others don't, remarks that Miss Allen didn't get any presents. Miss Allen is another resident of the boarding house, who seemingly has no family or friends and is poor. She's not exactly popular and has previously complained that the girls made too much noise. But the girls suddenly feel great sadness for this lonely woman and Jean has an idea--or an inspiration, as she calls it. She suggests they should prepare a surprise for Miss Allen. The shops are still open so they can go and get her presents. So they do.

When they return, they wrap the presents. Jean writes Miss Allen a nice letter. Nellie, who is an art student, makes her a drawing.

A dudish cat—Miss Allen was fond of the No. 16 cat if she could be said to be fond of anything—was portrayed seated on a rocker arrayed in smoking jacket and cap with a cigar waved airily aloft in one paw while the other held out a placard bearing the legend "Merry Christmas." A second cat in full street costume bowed politely, hat in paw, and waved a banner inscribed with "Happy New Year," while faintly suggested kittens gambolled around the border. The girls laughed until they cried over it and voted it to be the best thing Nellie had yet done in original work.

They put the presents outside Miss Allen's door. You can imagine how she feels when she finds them the next morning. She comes to hug the girls at breakfast and then they all go to church together.

The girls agree that this was the best Christmas ever bc they gave something, not just received--and resolve to bring a little sunshine to Miss Allen's life.

And over all the beautiful city was wafted the grand old message of peace on earth and good will to all the world.

A truly cute, heartwarming Christmas tale. I like reading about characters doing a random act of kindness for someone else, and LMM's stories are not short on these. I really think this would make a good Christmas film. Even though it's a very short story, there's enough to flesh out the characters and give them backstories. Who was Miss Allen--where did she come from and why did she not have anyone? Were the girls disappointed they couldn't go home for Christmas? Etc etc.

Gutenberg shows the year published as 1901. It's in the batch of stories that are LMM's oldest.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Me: Ok, I have some free time today. I need to be productive. Maybe get those notes I've been procrastinating for weeks...

My brain:

Me:

My brain: or....we could do a moodboard.

Me: no, stfu

My brain: :))))

Anyway, guess who won??🙂

I'm actually really glad I did this lmao. It had been some time since last one and I have so much fun making them🥺 hope you like it!!

💙.

Noah. I- *cries softly*

You know I was like 'oh no after lbaf v I'll probably never write about David again' and when I see reminders like this I realize how much I love writing about him.

LIKE "David is not meant for undercover. He is not a trained field agent. He's too gay for that" IT'S GOLDEN AND ONLY DAVID WOULD SAY SHIT LIKE THIS AND I WILL NEVER STOP WRITING ABOUT THIS BABY BOY AND THAT IS THAT.

This was so so so beautiful and as always - you've put so much thought into this. AND I LOVE THE BORDER. WOW. YOU ARE SO CREATIVE.

The second emoji on the left side inspired by this little scene so I hope you like it. This is for you:

----

Max grabs his badge and puts it in his pocket. 

It’s very shiny. Probably because he cleans it everyday. He’s kinda super fond on it. 

A long time ago, after the whole self-blackmail incident, dad had made a joke about how Max would make a good criminal if he had fewer morals. 

Then bapak had joked about how most criminals would make good cops. 

And then Max had an idea. 

Sure, he never wanted to join Interpol. But then again, he never wanted to move to France either.

But he did in fact do both of those things.

Because sometimes life has a way of giving you the things you didn't know you needed or wanted.

And because he is ridiculously in love. 

It’s not bad. The job. Being a field agent is the fucking best. Not to mention the fact that he gets to flirt with one of his coworkers and not get fired for it. Since said coworker happens to be his boyfriend. 

Max grabs his watch and looks around their bedroom. 

Badge. Watch.

He’s missing something important.

He hears a soft muffled ding from under the blanket and chuckles as he reaches for his phone. There we go.

It’s a text from David. 

“Babe?” Max calls over his shoulder. “Have we really reached that stage where we text each other inside the house?”

David doesn’t respond. 

Maybe he ran out to get breakfast. 

Max opens his texts and stares at the message. 

It’s a simple text. 

Max blinks at it a couple of times. Then a couple of times more. 

David: 💍❓

Max almost drops his phone as he whirls around. David is leaning against the doorframe with a stupid smile on his face. 

Max wants to marry him yesterday. 

“You did not,” Max says in disbelief. 

“I believe I did,” David nods solemnly. 

“David Beauchamp,” Max giggles. “You did not.”

“You are going to reply or just put me on read?” David asks him. 

Max does neither and decides to jump into his boyfriend’s arms. “Not gonna lie. I expected something cheesy and romantic from you.”

“So, you’ve been expecting me to propose then?” David grins. 

“A man can dream, David!” Max huffs. 

David chuckles. Max’s heart softens at the sound. 

“Marry me,” David whispers the words out loud and Max wants to perish. “Marry me and I’ll give you a lifetime of romance.”

“A lifetime?” Max manages to say because he is dizzy with happiness. “So, like this is a forever kind of deal, is it?”

“I’m afraid of so,” David nods. 

“Well,” Max sighs dramatically. “Then I guess I’ll have to say yes.”

“Yes?” David smiles. 

Max smiles with his face. Maybe his heart. “Yes.”

David’s hands find his face and David’s lips finds his own. He kisses Max as he does everything else. With love. 

“God, I want to marry you yesterday,” David groans against his lips. 

Max feels that. So, he pulls back and stares his boyfriend. His fucking fiancé. “How about you marry me today?”

David blinks. “Today?”

“You’re already off today. I bet if I can sprain my leg, I could get the day off today.”

“Max. You can’t sprain your leg every time you want to stay home whenever I’m off work. Our colleagues will start to get suspicious.”

“You’re right,” Max nods. “Let’s sprain my arm this time.”

“Mon ange,” David chuckles and kisses him again. “There is no rush.”

“But I wanna!” Max groans. 

David chuckles. “You wanna?”

Max nods. “I wanna be your husband.”

That last word seems to do the trick. David sighs softly and pulls him closer. “I suppose we could tell them you have fever.”

“I do,” Max nods. “I feel so hot right now.”

David chuckles against his skin. “Are you sure about this?”

“Hell yeah. There is nothing that can change my mind,” Max huffs and then suddenly blinks. “Shit. Wait. My parents. They’ll probably kill us.”

David considers that. He hums. “If we are getting married today, hypothetically, will you wear a suit?”

“I’ll wear whatever the fuck you want me to wear,” Max winks. 

“Then I suppose we’ll have to get married today,” David tells him. 

“What about my parents?” Max asks.

“Meh,” David shrugs. “They hate me already.”

“That is true.”

“I was joking!”

“I was not.”

“Max!”

“You know what?” Max asks. “They’ll probably hate you a little less if you’re related to us. We’re a very forgiving family.”

“Are you?”

“Hm-hm.”

“Alright then,” David reaches into his pocket and takes out a ring with a blue diamond on it. “I guess we’re doing this.”

[hippiemisfit]

Hush (J.K.) 11

Chapter Eleven- Hard Day

pairings: jungkook x oc reader

word count: 1,832

warnings: angst, depression, fear, mind tricks

---------------------------------

I wrapped a towel around myself and stepped out the shower. I wiped the fog off the mirror and looked at my reflection.

Eyes red and puffy.

Just great.

I ran some cold water and grabbed a rag, wetting it and putting it on my face so my eyes wouldn't be puffy in the morning. I went into my room and picked out a sleep shirt, throwing it on. I got under the covers and couldn't help but start crying again. I kept wiping my eyes but more tears just kept spilling out.

How did my life come to this?

Why is this happening to me?

What did I do to deserve th-this torture?

I cried until there were no tears left to cry and tried to fall asleep but couldn't. I checked the time and saw that it was almost time for me to get up and get ready for school. I groaned and looked up at the ceiling.

I closed my eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

.....................................................

I woke up to my alarm going off feeling like I only slept for five minutes instead of an hour. I groaned and shut it off, stretching before I got out the bed.

I went into my closet and picked out an outfit for the day. I decided on a black halter shirt, a acid wash jumper, and a pair of black boots.

I looked into the mirror and saw that my eyes were still puffy. So much for the cold rag. I put my hair up in a messy bun and called it a day. I ran down the stairs and grabbed myself a granola bar. I filled Poco's water and food bowls before I headed outside. I looked across the street and saw that there was still police tape up at Carter's house.

If only they knew who really did it and there was no way of catching him.

I climbed in the car and plugged in my aux cord, ready to blast Beautiful by Bazzi, when I noticed that my aux cord was missing.

Where'd it go? I know I had last night when I dropped Jungkook off.

I shrugged it off and just turned on the radio, and of course all they were doing was talking about "hot topics".

All of a sudden I heard a lot of static coming from the radio. I figured it was just because the signal was weak so I changed the station. But this had static too. I twisted the dial and it seemed every station was all static.

"What the hell?" Through the static it sounded like someone was whispering something but I couldn't quite make it out. I just decided to turn off the radio all together and drove in silence.

I was almost to the school when I heard my phone go saying I had a text. I waited until I got to a stop light to read it.

Kookie: Hey my ride bailed on me. Could u come get me? I'll pay you gas money

: Of course lol who would turn down gas money. Omw

I put in his address into the GPS just before the stop light changed. It seemed like I did a complete 360° when I started to his house.

How didn't I notice this last night?

He literally lives in the house directly behind me. I guess it was so dark last night and I was so tired that I didn't even realize he lived so close. Matter of fact I never noticed this house before and I've lived here forever. I guess that's what happens when you don't pay attention. I pulled up in his driveway and texted him to come out.

30 seconds later he came out. I took in his outfit and saw that we were kind of matching. He's wearing a white, distressed jumper, a white shirt with a black outline, and some white slides.

He got into the car and waved hi. I waved hi back and he looked me up and down, taking in my outfit.

Kookie: I see we're twins today 😁

I nodded," Yep."

I noticed that his eyes were brown today.

Must've gotten tired of having those contacts in.

I backed out of the driveway and headed towards school again. I heard Jungkook digging around in his backpack. When we got to a stop light he tapped me. He was holding my aux cord in one hand and his phone in the other with a message on it.

: Sorry I think I grabbed it last night when you dropped me off. Sorry if u were bored there's always the radio.

I took it from him," Thanks I was." I plugged it in and finally listened to my song for the day.

Hey Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angel Love your imperfections every angle Tomorrow comes and goes before you know So I just had to let you know

The way that Gucci look on you, amazing But nothing can compare to when you're naked Now a Backwood and some Henny got you faded You're saying you're the one for me, I need to face it

Started when we were younger Swear to God that I loved her Sorry that your mum found out Guess that we just really had the thunder Ain't nobody else said I'd be under Beautiful, beautiful life right now Beautiful, beautiful night right now No, no, no

We pulled up to the school before I could hear the full song unfortunately.  We got out the car and he tapped me again.

:That song is amazing. What's it called?

"Beautiful by Bazzi, I love it. It's a good pick me up song, you know."

He nodded his head in agreement.

:Why do you need a pick me up?

"I just had a rough night that's all. Nothing too serious," I said.

: want to talk about it? I can see the bags under your eyes; you can talk to me, I'm a pretty good listener

I shook my head, "No thanks but thanks. I'm fine."

The bell rang signaling we had 10 minutes till class rang  so we headed inside. I went to my locker and when I opened a piece of paper fell out. I looked down at it and saw that it was stained red.

I picked it up and slowly opened it. When I saw what it was, I screamed and dropped it on the floor. I felt everyone's eyes on me but they didn't see what was inside that paper.

It was a bloody ear inside, the owner probably being the man Hoodie killed last night Matt. Jungkook and Ally came over to me.

"Mahj are you ok?" she asked.

I shook my head and pointed down at the ground towards the bloody ear. She looked down at it and laughed. I looked at her like she was crazy.

"How could that have possibly scared you," she asked.

"What?" I asked,"So you don't see what I see?"

She bent over and picked it up. "Mahj, its just mini jelly filled donut from Long's."

"What," I looked at it again and still saw a bloody ear. I looked over at Jungkook and it seemed he had a ghost of a smirk on his face, but when he noticed I was looking at him it was gone.

"You see that too?"

He nodded and shrugged his shoulders. He pulled out his phone and asked me what I saw.

I shook my head,"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. Trust me. Its better if you don't know."

Ally popped it in her mouth and I gagged. I covered my mouth and turned away from her. She laughed," Chill, it wasn't even on the ground that long. Long's should never go to waste."

She walked away and headed back to her locker. Jungkook patted my back and walked away to his. I bent down and picked up the piece of paper it was in.

Written in black marker it said," I just wanted to hEar you scream, don't forget about what I told you. You're mine and the fun has just begun, have a nice day!"

I balled the paper up and threw it away in the trash. I grabbed what I needed and headed to class. Soon as I got in the room, I put my head down on the table and groaned. I felt Ally and Jungkook sit down beside me, but I didn't move to acknowledge them.

When the class started I finally lifted my head. I could feel them sending me concerned looks but I chose to ignore them and attempt to focus.

Today's gonna be a long day.

.....................................................

Finally school was over for the day and I was heading home to the comfort of my bed. I had been dodging questions from everyone all day asking me was I okay.

Well would you be okay if Death was torturing you, telling you that you were his and no one else's, and had took you out to watch him murder someone. I know for sure if I had said that they would be sending me off to the best therapist in the state.

It also didn't help that I was constantly see blood and guts everywhere I went. My pens were writing in blood, my math teacher's eyes looked lifeless, hell even my spaghetti looked like the small intestine. I was almost to my car when I felt a tap and jumped around ready to fight. It was Jungkook holding up his hands in peace.

I sighed,"Sorry been having a bad day. What's up?"

:I was wondering if you wanted to finish working on the book. The quicker we get it done the better right?

I nodded," Um yeah, let's go"

We got into the car and headed home. I decided to just turn on the radio this time; they had to be playing something by now.

When I switched it on, all I heard was the static from earlier. I hit the dashboard,"What is going on with the radio today? Will anything work right today?"

I could feel Jungkook judging me from the corner my eye but ignored him and kept hitting the dashboard. It seemed like the static's volume kept increasing from each hit. The whispering was more prominent this time too. I could almost make out what it was saying, it sounded like the cries of the people that I heard in hell. From what I could partially make out, they were saying he was coming and to be afraid.

I quickly shut it off and sped home not caring about the speed limit.