#guess which one of them are saying these lyrics. imma pass out.

[flovoid]

♬ You won't forget me, hopefully

[365days365movies]

March 1, 2021: The Hobbit (1977) (Part 1)

In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit.

When I was 9, my school let us read a very special book, originally meant for kids, but beloved by everyone. My folks and I went to Borders Books (FUCK ME, I miss Borders), and we got an illustrated copy of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. I can’t find that book, but if I ever find it again, Imma buy it IMMEDIATELY, I tell you what. And...oh shit, it’s on Amazon for $12? 

Well. I just made that purchase, I guess. But yeah, I loved that book when I was a kid, and this was during the same year that Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy began, with Fellowship, of course. And I wouldn’t end up watching those until a few years later, but I loved those too when I saw them. And I’ve NEVER seen the abridged version, by the way, I’ve only ever seen the extended editions.

Although, I can’t call myself a hardcore fan. I’ve never read the Silmarillion, for example. Although, weirdly, I wanted it as a kid at some point, so I was almost there. But no, I ended up getting into comic books hardcore instead, so I can’t tell you the history of Tom Bombadil, but I can tell you about at least one of the fuckin’ 87 tieles that the Legion of Super-Heroes has been involved in. I’m not gonna like it though.

...Yes, I will, who am I kidding, I love the Legion. Anyway, I’ve still always been a fan of the franchise, and I was extremely excited when Jackson announced that he’d be doing an adaptation of The Hobbit! Seriously, I WAS FUCKING PUMPED, you have no idea. I re-read the book, I was super-excited...and then Harry Potter changed EVERYTHING. Kind of.

See, Harry Potter’s development as a two films made from one book seemed to kick off a trend. Breaking Dawn and Mockingjay are the two that immediately come to mind, as does this film. However, to be fair...that’s probably a coincidence. Yeah, this film was originally developed as two parts, WAY before Deathly Hallows got that treatment. And even then, Jackson and Del Toro had difficulty breaking it up into two parts, and three ended up being easier. Still...the change from two-to-three does feel a little connected to that trend.

Anyway, in celebration of that decision, I’m gonna break this review into three parts! Yes. Really. I want to see if it works. And so, let’s talk about the other most famous adaptation of this book by talking about its creators.

Yup. Rankin-Bass did 2D-animated cartoons, too! And this was one of their most famous ones, dating back to 1977. But wait! There’s more! This was followed by Ralph Bakshi’s version of Lord of the Rings by a different studio. You know, this one?

Yeah, that one. It was only based on the first two books, Fellowship and Towers. But it was technically unconnected to the Rankin-Bass version. Which is why it was REALLY weird when Rankin-Bass came out with an adaptation of the third book, Return of the King, right afterwards!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. Because both of Rankin-Bass’ specials were animated by a Japanese studio called Topcraft, who’d actually worked with Rankin-Bass for years. But then, they went bankrupt a few years later, and was bought by Isao Takahata, Toshio Suzuki, and...Hayao Miyazaki. And it was renamed as...

So, this is a Hobbit adaptation produced by the Rudolph people and animated by the people who would eventually become Studio Ghibli. Well, uh...holy fucking shit. Let’s DO THIS BABY. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/3)

As we’re wont to do in this story, we head to Hobbiton in the Shire, where we meet Bilbo Baggins (Orson Bean). A simple Hobbit in a simple home, with a happy and simple life. But one day, he’s approached by Gandalf (John Huston), who seeks a burglar to help with the mission of a group of dwarves, led by Thorin Oakenshield (Hans Conried).

We also immediately start off with two songs from the original book, and I have to say that I like them a but better in the Jackson movies, but they’re still well performed here. Anyway, after dinner, the true goal of their quest is given. Beneath Lonely Mountain, the ancestral home of the Dwarves, there was a kingdom ruled by the King Under the Mountain, Thorin’s grandfather.

Through reading the lyrics of the song “Far over the Misty Mountains,” Thorin tells the tale of the takeover of the Dwarves’ great golden hoard by the dragon Smaug. Bilbo is tasked to help the Dwarves steal back the treasure stolen from them. And, while he’s extremely reluctant to be a part of all this, Gandalf basically forces him to, the pushy bastard. And Bilbo’s Greatest Adventure now lies ahead!

Speaking of, here’s the song “The Greatest Adventure”, sung by Glenn Yarborough, who is the living personification of vibrato. Fuckin’ seriously, this guy’s voice is ridiculous, but I love it so much. As the night passes underneath Glenn Yarborough’s hypnotically shaky voice, and uncertain, Bilbo stares out at the moon. Once it’s over, we’re on our way to the Misty Mountains.

Bilbo’s having a tough time with the long journey and rough weather, and it doesn’t get much better when they encounter a trio of trolls. They send out Bilbo to try and steal some mutton from them, but he’s IMMEDIATELY a failure, and also manages to tell the trolls that the dwarves are present. Nice one, Bilbo. The trolls catch all of the dwarves, although Bilbo manages to escape. 

The trolls argue about how to cook the dwarves, but before they get to do anything, Gandalf shows up and summons the dawn, turning the trolls into stone and saving the dwarves. While they’re initially quite frustrated by Bilbo’s failure, he makes it up by discovering a horde of goods and weapons stolen by the trolls. This is also where Bilbo gets his classic weapon, Sting.

Gandalf, cheeky bastard that he is, suddenly reveals a map that he’s kept secret from Thorin, its rightful owner. Bilbo, a classic cartomaniac, is able to interpret the map. But there are also runes that they can’t quite read. And so, Gandalf brings them to his friend, Elrond (), who’s wearing a sick-ass glittery tiara that’s hovering off his head. How come Hugo Weaving didn’t have that?

Anyway, Elrond identifies the swords that Thorin and Gandalf grabbed as Orcrist, the Goblin-Cleaver and Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer, because FUCK YEAH, BABY, those are some fuckin’ NAMES! WHOOOOOO!

Anyway, he also points them in the direction of the mountain, and shows them hidden features to the map. They head through the mountains after this, and rest in a cave. Unfortunately, this cave is on Goblin territory, and the group (sans Gandalf, who’s disappeared to make out with Cate Blanchett or whatever) is quickly ambushed by a group of now-horned Goblins, who chant their song as they go “Down, Down, to Goblin-Town”. Which is a song that I love, unironically. It compels me to sing along.

The Goblins nearly kill them when they discover Orcrist in Thorin’s possession, but they’re saved by the sudden appearance of Gandalf with the glowing sword Glamdring. He kills the Great Goblin, and the group run out with the Goblins in hot pursuit. Well, except for Bilbo.

Yeah, Bilbo falls into a cavern below the mountain, and the dwarves think him gone for good. However, he’s miraculously safe on the ground, having landed in an underground aquifer, in which lives THE GREATEST CHARACTER IN THE MIDDLE-EARTH FRANCHISE FUCKIN’ AT ME I DARE YOU

And just so we’re clear, I’m not talking about the film version only, I’m talking about Gollum/Smeagol in general. Granted, I don’t want a film starring him or anything (coughCruellacoughcoughMaleficentcoughcoughClaricecoughcough), but I love this dissociative little dude so much. He’s one of my favorite fantasy characters in general, and is also maybe the best example of a sympathetic villain, in film at least.

OK, to be fair, I love Andy Serkis’ version of the character a LOT, like a LOT a lot, and it’s a great version of the character. OK, so what do I think of this version? He’s...interesting, actually. If I’m honest, I kinda like him. This is similar to how I always pictured Gollum when I was a kid.

I mean, listen to this description from the book, yeah?

Deep down here by the dark water lived old Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don't know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Gollum - as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face...He was looking out of his pale lamp-like eyes for blind fish, which he grabbed with his long fingers as quick as thinking.

I dunno, that does sound more like this version of Gollum to me, just saying. Anyway, while Gollum is off fishing in the water, Bilbo gets up on the shore, where he finds a little golden ring Not important, just a ring, definitely means nothing at all, NOTHING AT ALL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

The hungry Gollum (Brother Theodore) happens upon Bilbo, precious, wonders if Bilbo would taste good, and is basically about to kill him for his sweet hobbit meat, before Bilbo takes out Sting. Now afraid, Gollum offers a game of riddles. The two make a deal: if Bilbo wins at a game of riddles, Gollum will show him the  way out. But if Gollum wins, precious will eat him raaaaaaaw and wrrrrrrrrrriggling!

The riddles commence, in a super-fuckin’-classic moment, and also ends with maybe the most bullshit moment in all of fantasy lore. After clever riddles with answers involving eggs, wind, and time, Bilbo’s last riddle is “What’s in my pocket?” The fuck, Bilbo, that’s absolute BULLSHIT!

Not that it matters. Bilbo wins, but Gollum goes to find his ring to show it to Bilbo before he takes him away. Thing is, though, that’s what was in Bilbo’s pocket, which Gollum quickly figures out, my precious. He’s about to kill Bilbo to get back his birthday present, precious, but Bilbo discovers the secret trick of the ring: it turns the wearer invisible, AND THAT WILL NEVER BE A BAD THING EVER.

Gollum thinks that Bilbo’s escaped and runs after him toward the exit. This, of course, leads Bilbo towards the exit inadvertently, and he follows Gollum, then jumps over him to get back. To which Gollum screams the following:

Thief! Thief! Baggins! We hates it! Hates it! Forever!

I hear you, buddy. I hear you. Well, once Bilbo escapes, he reconvenes with the rest, and shares his adventure in the cave, but leaves out the ring. And Gandalf seems to know, based on his dialogue. And I checked, and he figured it out in the book and Jackson movie, too. And I gotta say...WHAT THE FUCK GANDALF

I mean...DUDE. CHECK UP on that shit. Do you wizard job, man! If you’d been like, “Dude...you didn’t find a magic ring that turns you invisible, ight, because we’re FUCKED if you did”, NONE OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS WOULD’VE HAPPENED, AND BOROMIR WOULD STILL BE ALIVE

Everybody talks about the fuckin’ eagles, but WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYONE MENTION THIS SHIT? Gandalf the Grey: Middle-Earth’s most irresponsible asshole, I swear...

This seems like a good place to pause, actually. See you in the next part!

[soniana-draws]

bOI I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME THIS FOR MONTHS

-cracks knuckles- Aight time for a long rambling about these two(warning for long post)

It's gonna sound cliche since this one basically fits with any ship but thanks to a irl friend with whom we talk about these two a lot(I know ur reading this) the most Shaunzer song for me would be...Distance by Christina Perri(the pic goes with the acoustic part). For me the lyrics relate to their 'oh no' phase, the time when both Shaun and Bitzer started noticing something was changing between them.

I personally picture Bitzer as the one who developed feelings first but was heavily in denial about it for several reasons(him being a sheepdog, Shaun not only being a sheep but the most stress-inducing one, not wanting to mess up their friendship, etc. u know anxiety dog things). Pretending his head wasn't a mess of excuses as to why he was being softer with Shaun lately looked like a good plan at first but...surprise, it backfired horribly. After one adventure where Bitzer ended stressed af Shaun actually went to check on him and then between jokes they ended laughing to the point of their bellys hurting and at noticing Shaun's satisfied smile at seeing he got his friend to feel better Bitzer just...couldn't pretend anymore.

And that's were part of the song comes, because even if Bitzer accepted his feeling he still didn't want them there ruining everything. If something happened to the sheep because he was distracted...if Shaun catched up on why he was so nervous around him recently(which he would do bc Shaun notices things)...Bitzer feared the outcomes of all that, so he started keeping his distance.

Shaun from his part did notice that something was different between them, but wasn't that sure what and Bitzer wasn't being that colaborative with confessing why he was acting so strange with him lately so Shaun just guessed his belly was predicting another 'imma be stricter for a week and then go back to normal' phase from Bitzer. From his pov this turned out to be true, but it wasn't like other times because it was lasting longer, and it even looked like if Bitzer was...avoiding him.

He was annoyed at first of course because he didn't do anything out of the usual?? Why would Bitzer be angry now?? But as days passed by Shaun's annoyement didn't last long and he started feeling...sad, he missed spending time with Bitzer and he just didn'tt understand what was going on, why one day they culd be joking around like if everything was normal and then suddenly Bitzer was acting all distant again, why he was so affected by that when other times he shruged it off knowing it was a matter of time. It was a cicle that repeated and Shaun didn't know how to leave. It only got mre complicated when after a shenanigan that went wrong Bitzer went to hug him because 'you idiOT THAT WAS DANGEROUS oh thanks god you're okay' and right there Shaun realized how nice hugging Bitzer was(had it always been like that?) and the dog being so worried was sort of...cute? later that night he did some deep thinking about Bitzer acting weird and him missing him so much and everything connects and he justs 'oh, OH'.

Shaun wasn't really in denial about it but more like...stuck in not knowing if he should give a first step of not, as he didn't know if Bitzer feelt the same and him acting all distant didn't gave much room to try anyways. Shaun ends up distancing a bit himself because of that. Bitzer felt bad about the whole thing, even feared that Shaun had discovered his secret when this weird aura around them appeared, but he was confused of what to do as well so....returning to the song(which I rambled away from sdfeds), I relate all the lyrics to them, but if I have to choose I'll say the last three verses are the ones for them.

And I keep waiting For you to take me                                     For Shaun You keep waiting To save what we have So I'll make sure to keep my distance Say "I love you" when you're not listening                     For Bitzer How long can we keep this up, up, up? Make sure to keep my distance Say "I love you" when you're not listening                    For both How long 'til we call this love, love, love?

so yeah, at the end I guess something happened that made both understand that the thing was mutual and it slowly evolved from that, with light teasing going to straight up flirting. A 'we know we like each other but don't say it out loud and even deny it if asked of, making out friends groan out loud because it's literally SO OBVIOUS DATE ALREADY' thing.

K thanks for coming to my Shaunzer ted talk have a good day bye

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[changbin-froggy-jimin]

This is so long @frillyfairyprincess but I hope you like my ramblings

Moonlight:

Ok so moonlight opens the album and it’s got a really nice sound, the lyrics are so tough to get through though and especially this bit which hit a bit hard

I think we as listenerns, and especially as fans, especially as army, sometimes forget that there are people who are listening to what we’re saying but even more than that really have to hear it if that makes sense

If someone were to look at you and say “what you have created will last a lifetime” at first it’s nice right? Who doesn’t want to hear they’ll make it through the history books, but then the self doubt slips in ‘are you good enough for that, you can barely finish (in yoongi’s case a song) whatever your working on? Is this what you want representing you?’ I think things like that slip into being something kind of really scary and upsetting words like ‘legend’ are sweet and show our support but bts, are still human, with real feelings which I feel like a lot of people forget

there’s no one else doing it like they are, there’s no one to look up to, and especially no one even close to what they’re doing, they’re alone, they can’t really make new friends because: do they like you for you, or for your money, what human connections do they have besides each other that feel genuine? Probably not many, imagine going outside to be mobbed, I even saw this clip of some girl running up and kissing yoongi and probably scarring him like, this isn’t a cute life to live, it’s not fun, they like preforming but I think there’s obvious claims throughout the whole album of wishing with some part of him to give it all back

When people make arguments about how people who are successful ‘don’t have real problems’ and should ‘go cry in their piles of money’ I kind of lose it, I don’t know where all that empathy you claimed to have went to, but you should really shut your mouth until you have to wonder wether the person eyeing you in the store window is planning on chasing you down the street and potentially hurt you because of the things you make with your own hands, not to mention most of the kpop industry hates them, but that’s another point for another lyric

What Do You Think:

I’m kinda losing it over this because while I am 1. Not korean 2. Do not live in South Korea 3. Or obviously, do not know intricately the culture that comes with the music industry there

I have heard things, that because bts is with a smaller company, they were treated pretty bad on things like variety shows (and probably at some music shows but that I’m not sure about) because in Korea there are these three companies that were pretty unchallenged before bts came along, and the thing is some of that wariness is fair, being with a smaller label is I’ve been told, a real gamble on your chances of being mistreated, so a lot of people don’t want to support smaller companies when they know artists are safe with the bigger ones, and I’ve seen a group who was actually horribly mistreated who I actually listened to (TRCNG I think?) They were treated horribly by their label and so I don’t think people want to support that kind of thing

The issue is you’re also putting away groups like BTS, Monsta X, ATEEZ, MCND, Oneus, and more, of some of my favorite groups, and I think being not only snubbed for having a smaller label like Big Hit in Korea, but also being treated kinda badly in America by always being treated like kids or people who don’t do enough research about them and their music (which happens to every artist, but from the individual bts standpoint I still think it matters) it kinda gets under your skin in a bad way

Now, again, this is all stuff I’ve heard, it could be wrong but it is something I’ve heard from a couple of people and seems to be fairly accurate

Strange:

Now this one I’m exicited to talk about

So as a Twenty One Pilots fan first, and person second (seriously they’re my favorite band of all time) this line made me really happy

It reminded me of the song lane boy, it’s a song that deals with the expectations of the music industry for songs on the radio that play to sound a certain way

This line more or less is saying “sure we would make music the way you wanted, but if you were to die tomorrow, would we have been happy with what we created?” which I think is fairly hardcore, it’s also funnily enough the album Tyler (lead singer and writer) cursed the industry on is the one that got Him on the charts with 4 songs on the radio, one of them even had lyrics about never ending up on the radio it was great

Back to bts, obviously there’s a bit of a difference in the way things are done in America vs Korea, but think one could argue its more or less the same if you take out the training aspect, an artist comes and picks up a song, and is told how to dance, what their brand is, how to act in interviews, and bts still spits in people’s faces over stuff like that, which is why I think that they specifically have as big of a following as they do, because of the genuine way they present themselves

I think some of their music can be formulaic funnily enough, it’s honestly the reasons I sometimes have a hard time calling myself a fan, because there are those soft, what to me feel heartless in general, songs about how they’re so in love, soft flower pink kinda songs, here’s the thing though, even though I really dislike this kinda stuff, I can’t help but sit there and know they actually mean it unlike almost everybody else because they try hard, they genuinely mean it because they care for their fans, like, it’s fake in the fact that the lyrics mean nothing in their lives and I hate that kinda stuff, but they genuinely put effort into crafting lyrics that make people feel better and put at ease, and if it works for other people that’s fine I guess

But because we know their struggles, because we know how they feel, we know that when they say it’s going to be ok they mean it and all that mushy stuff bleh, I just prefer a different kind of song, but even their not super mushy stuff is super lyrically interesting and neat, I don’t really tend to strongly follow people who’s lyrics mean nothing to me, there are some artists I like because their music sounds good (EX: The Weeknd, ATEEZ...) but it’s always a passing interest because in the long run I don’t want to say it feels a bit hollow but yeah it kinda does

Bts has always felt genuine because I can look at them and tell they’ve been down a rough path, and because of that it comes out in who they are and what they sing/rap about so they’ve always seemed less formulaic than everybody else, even I still think bts feels like they have to put one of them songs on their albums, it still usually has cool sounds while still being super cool, like fake love for instance

I feel like I lost my point in there somewhere... sorry about that, anyways next song

Honsool:

Ok so, while above I said it’s stupid to dislike smaller label companies but sometimes Big Hit really concerns me DO NOT GET ME WRONG I think all label have this issues and it both really scares me and makes me angry because weight is such a problem not only in the music industry, or the actor industry, but in Korea, I know that’s rich coming from somebody who doesn’t live there, but at the same time it affects so many people who I’m scared for, not even just famous people but the kids and it makes me so sad

The issue with the bts label, is the specific fact that because bts doesn’t need to censor themselves to make Big Hit happy they talk about the issues that bother them with the company themselves and fans alike and aren’t afraid to say something, I still remember the Monsta X interview where IM said “let us go on vacation starship” with what kind of seemed like the hope that the fan base could bully the company into giving them time off (I honestly think MX is worked into the ground tbh)

The issue is we know know Jimin had/has an eating disorder and I think a lot of people think it came from fans/fan pressure but imma be honest with you I think a lot of the pressure came from the company

This is from rookie kind episode 4

It was filmed when bts were still basically babies in their first year im fairly sure, even before American hustle if I remember correctly, the thing is, before blood sweat tears era, every single one of them called each other various names and talked about weight all the time, and knowing what it did to Jimin it was always rough to watch, but to be honest I think it really affected all of them, seeing people say things to members constantly about what they’re eating (Ex: people telling JK not to eat food at night) it’s so upsetting?

The thing is, while watching summer packages/bon voyage Yoongi is almost always on some kind of diet, and it’s really kind of scary in a sense, and while I realize, that some of this could be metaphor, or even represent a different time in his life, because Yoongi does say he writes down the way he’s feeling and uses them sometimes years later, I think it’s really kind of telling that they were all kind of bullied into this ‘extremely skinny or nothing’ kind of mindset that’s so dangerous I really really am worried for all of them, I mean he did recently say that he stopped drinking and obviously this is what that song is about so there could have been any amount of time between then and now, even if I don’t think it’s a lot, sometimes I am really scared for them and what they do to their bodies

Dear My Friend:

I know I’ve been talking for far to long now, but this is just so bittersweet and sorrowful I just kinda love it a lot

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode 15: "congrats daisy for winning season 7 of celestial: behemoth!” - Jules

congrats daisy for winning season 7 of celestial: behemoth!

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JIOFEOJIFEWOJIWOJI THAT SOUNDS SO BITTER BUT DYLAN SIR U HANDED HER THE GAME! HANDED IT TO HER! GOD! and its what she deserves!

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anyways. let it be known this was NOT MY FAULT.

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let the record show, before last night's tribal, I SAID SOMETHING WAS NOT SITTING RIGHT WITH MY SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!! AND???? what happened. look what happened.

Vocaroo

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still practicing my slide puzzles WJIJIEFIJWJIFIFWJEJWIEEJWIF

OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GAME I HATE THIS GAME I HATE THIS GAME!!!

this final 4 is absolutely amazing and i literally love all of them so much, but that just makes things 10x worse. i think that playing my idol on daisy was a huge risk and the fact that it is now a final 2 makes things a bit more interesting. my ideal plan was to have daisy in the final 4 with me so that i wouldnt be the next target, but now that she won immunity it just didnt work out how i intended at all!!

voting out jules and szymon is purely going to come down to which one of them will sway my way and it's going to hurt to send one of them to jury no matter what, but i just feel like i came all this way and not making top 3 would just suck so badly. so yeah, this sucks. i hate that no matter what i do im going to be upsetting people and hurting feelings but... i guess that's just the game! at this point im not even sure if i can win against daisy but it seems like she will take me, it just depends on whether or not i stay loyal to her if i win FIC or if i take whoever is with me in final 3.

much to think about, BUT I JUST CANT BELIEVE I MADE IT THIS FAR !!!!

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Jules is voted out 3-1. She becomes the 8th member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment take place below:

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Szymon is voted out by Daisy. He becomes the final member of our jury.

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idk thought this would be cute to include my voting log and stuff hehe <3 https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RiA0RUWX4TRpqBTgRzLJJ3fHu2jBqZ-bCJozFd3HcRs/edit?usp=sharing

Jules: https://youtu.be/6zKeJuOJKeY 

https://youtu.be/5dV_-X6Rv2U

https://youtu.be/N5tnq-4QAT8

someone (zach) asked me to rank the jurors from nicest to meanest...so here we go. ily all <3 <3

1. seamus (this will def come as a surprise, but seamus was the most levelheaded and nice one on the jury. he really never made a bitter comment even though he had every right to, especially at me/daisy/dylan and really anyone who was in after him except chips. like. he was the only person to reach out in pms after and it was immediate, he really comforted me and i really admire men who can have like good relationship w/ women that are platonic??? i know he's been like terrible in the past and i did call him on some stuff in hydravivor and ill be the FIRST to admit that i called him a crackhead on a daily basis but i think he's grown a lot!!!!!! idk. i think he's also the MOST self aware!!!! im a seamus stan, what about it?)

2. brandan (while brandan was kinda irrelevant game wise this season -- but not in our hearts -- he was very objective and a peacemaker. he had good reason to be MIA too so the fact that he got as far as he did means to me that he did form some strong social connections. and he did!!! with me, i think w/ conor, so idk, he had a role like i did in the game imo. i really liked him and he really brought a fresh perspective on things!!!)

3. szymon (he's only not ranked higher bc he's pissed off rob and he stands his ground a lot more outwardly than the first two, at least in the jury chat. also he's not had as much time as a juror. but even then, i think szymon is not a bad guy like some of the ppl make him out to be. like, idk, i think he made a mistake on a game level and he even admitted it and idk he's a legend. truly. im so glad to have met him and i think he was a really nice juror to have around while he was ACTUALLY around bc he stood up for me/daisy the way seamus did)

4. lovelis (lovelis makes some pointed comments but.....he's not dumb at all and so i don't think he's been bitter. also his pointed comments have been funny and mostly radiating the energy of the other Bitter Jurors so idk. i really like him on a personal level as well and have for a while so idk. i dont KNOW KNOW him but he's never been the type to make harsh comments without them having some merit to them. so i kinda trust his judgement even though he wasnt in the game long/an early merge boot. idk i think he's open minded enough and he's also someone who admits when he's done a Lil Too Much but he's really lovely. just competitive.)

5. chips (i dont think chips is MEAN per se, in fact, i dont think he has a mean bone in his body on a personal level. like WFIJFJIFWE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT HES SO FUCKING NICE!!!!!!! but thats why it's so funny to see him in games bc he's a lil lying, a lil backstabby and sometimes he's a lil passive aggressive. but its not undeserved. its also a pisces thing WEFJIEIEJWEFJIWEF i think what i saw in the jury house was sometimes chips going along w/ things, but i dont know, i really do not know much about chips game and ill probs ask him more afterwards?? but idk he was REALLY nice to me tho so FWIJFWEWFIFW i just dont trust him in games.......i dont know whats on his mind half of the time......)

I WANNA SAY FOR THE NEXT 3 MEN THEYRE HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY THEIR FIRE SIGN PLACEMENTS SO while i know some of them do hold resentment, its a lot easier to deal with and work with and with all 3 of them we've talked it out with/are going to talk it out. only #8 has been the MOST stubborn but idk imma let him do his thing & try not to pass too much judgement u know cause i dont need to waste my braincells on that

6. conor (knowing conor's astrological placements makes this make sense to me. but i wanna say that i think he's the type of leo to like be upfront, get it out, vent, and be fine? which is why i respect him a lot and i think we do have a mutual respect for each other. some of the comments he made were kinda rude tho and him fake liking astrology for social game was SO UGLY TO ME!!!! like i'll clown him for it for as long as i know him now cause....JOKE'S ON HIM!!!!!!! WJOEFWEOWEFO but that was kinda mean but def conor's come around and seen the light / has also reached out to me to talk. he's also admitted he left a mean speech in sbbb9 and regretted it so i think he might just shoot off at the mouth a bit. but BETTER THE DEVIL U KNOW THAN THE ONE U DONT and i appreciate the transparency NOW as opposed to the fakeness of him saying he liked astrology for social game. THIS IS A HILL I WILL DIE ON!!!!! im a fan of leos tho and he's a leo moon like me. so. i think we'll be fine. )

7. rob (i actually really REALLY like rob on a personal level but i really do not know if i could play another game with him, at least survivor, id be open to playing bb. i think ill say that the best thing about rob is that he's also apologized, was one of the first to when i confronted them all, me and him have a good personal relationship tbh!! but some of the game comments he made were p harsh and he's definitely a lil bitter but again, he's admitted it, i think while he's more up front -- i dont think i ever wanna be on his bad side in a game. EVER!!! cause we didnt even have any loyalty to each other in the game but he was SO harsh on my game like it was wild bc i dont think id ever be that harsh to ANY OF THEM ABOUT THEIR GAMES LIKE THAT???? anyways. its fine bc again he's apologized and he's owned it but PHEW he got a lil bit of a sharp tongue. really eloquent tho!!!!!!!!!!! love hearing him speak)

8. gage (last but least the southern belle himself................this man an aries and i dont know his other signs but him being an aries man is enough. they POP OFF!!!!!! a lot of times there's some truth to it, sure, but sometimes they just be popping off and FOR WHAT!!!!! i do understand gage's frustrations though but even he apologized for being too mean in HIS FUTURE FUCKING CONFESSIONALSSSSSSSS TO MEEEEEE so. idk. he's got an issue with letting things go in games and miss annajane calls him on a lot of BS and it does NOT seem to really knock him down but. gage is really wht u see is what u get, doesnt really own his faults but at least u kinda know where ur at w/ him. but he's still probs the meanest one in there but i do understand from a game level why he was so fucked up about it, especially after hearing FTC. its just that. i understand his position. BUT HE NEEDS TO TAKE A XANAX SOMETIMES I S2G GAGE I WILL GIVE YOU ONE!!! girl it is NOT that serious!!!!!!)

also forgot to mention that i admitted to gage that chris from s1 was NOT actually my brother and his jaw was on the floor <3 I GOT TO DO ONE TROLL THING RIGHT!!!!!! rip me/seamus' showmance serious!!!!!!)

okay just to add onto my last confessional -- the songs i think represent me best from this playlist game wise are: - perfect for you - punchin' bag - stayin' alive - flip - femme fatale/future nostalgia (for the girls alliance that never was....rip but also me/daisy at merge vibes) - X - the shortchange - TAKE ME AS I AM!!!!! THAT SONG IS THE ONE THATS BECOME MY SONG!!!! for this game especially!!!!! - over yet (the lyrics literally speak for themselves) - tough on myself (sorry for stealing ur song vincent) - seven devils - villains pt. 1 (i dont think i was a villain but i did stuff in this game that i usually dont and would consider villainous for myself FEWIWFEJIFEW i was in my feelings!) - passion & pain taste the same when i'm weak (me coming into the jury house and realizing they'd all snatched my wig w/ the edges and the glue.....i DID cry to this song for at least 2 hours! yes i did! WIFJWJIWEIJE) - tar ('under the stars -- pull yourself from the tar'. at the end of the day, this season was fucking stacked and there wasn't one person who was a bad player at all. at all.stars, if you will. i was under a lot of stars and from all the breakdowns in my game to me actually breaking down -- i GOTTA PULL MYSELF FROM THE TAR!!!! learn!! grow!! be better!!)

TOP 5 (not 'perfect for you'): - punchin' bag - take me as i am - over yet - tough on myself - tar

good for my whole journey imo!! the last 3!!! okay this is my ACTUAL last confessional okay thank u for everything!!! bye!!!

https://youtu.be/T5wRzWwlOp8

and here's my personal playlist for the org: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2E8KGCo1SrBgoJIQ9DycfM?si=96PWq-6ERCyisacQr3zPww

it is literally an hour and a half until the winner reveal and i really just have no idea what's going to happen. like in the back of mind i just have a feeling that im losing bc, yeah you know self-deprecation woo! but yeah idk i think i really gave this game my all and while i dont think i played it flawlessly, i still think i played a strong game i can be proud of :,)

having it be a live final tribal for my first ever like, jury questioning was just--- ugh wild but i actually think it went really well. just based on what people were saying it definitely seemed as if some of the jurors didnt really want to see me and daisy at the end or like, really werent consider voting for me but i think i was definitely able to sway some people who were willing to listen and definitely gave some of the jurors something to think about. so whether or not i win i do think that i had a really great final tribal performance, maybe it was even enough to sway enough people into giving me their vote?? WHO'S TO SAY

anyways this has been such a wild experience and it's surreal to think that it's ending in like, a little over an hour but no matter what happens i can say confidently that i will be able to look back on this season fondly and will be leaving it with my head held high bc I REALLY DID THIS LIKE!!! I REALLY MADE IT TO THE END!! WOW I STILL CANT GET OVER IT HAHAHA!! but yeah bye forever <33

Rob’s Last Video:  https://youtu.be/X3krxxfJ3oo

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Daisy wins in a 7-2 vote!

[neshabeingchildish]

Poly Wanna? 09

I have been struggling super hard and super long with trying to wrap this chapter up and lo and behold, I decided to just move forward and hope that it communicates what i was trying to communicate. I know it's a long chapter, but I just couldn't mentally wrestle with it anymore. Might have wound up changing it completely and I worked too hard to do that to myself. Hopefully, we're still having a good time, here. 

 Lemme know if I need to take you off the tag. Idk who’s actually reading because I’ve only heard from a couple of people, so idk if y’all still interested.

@adorkable-blackgirl  @chenoahchantel  @riebellion  @woahjusttakeiteasy-man  @up-the-tube   @ciara-knightly  @cactus-con  @oof–musicals @lesbian-so-what  @meadowstryingtobepretty @imma-sensitive-btch @okaygal21 @midernacht @divinereign4ever @xoxoemille@itsyaapollochild

Just Trying to Figure It All Out

Music was playing through the sound system as Henry cooked, Jasper set the table and readied the room. Charlotte had went to get washed up and dressed. The guys were talking about general stuff like the menu and how the night went for Charlotte (which, technically, they had gotten back so late that it was practically the next day) and she slept well into the afternoon, almost evening. Now, Henry was making a gourmet Italian meal, Jasper was making the place extremely comfortable, and Charlotte was staring at herself in the mirror, wondering if she was doing too much.

She had an espresso colored evening gown on with spaghetti straps and had pulled her hair up and decked it with flowers. The gown hugged her body, was satin and shiny and made her look like she was dipped in chocolate syrup, meanwhile, the cocoa butter on her skin had her beaming. 

Upon further review of this bedroom, she probably should have guessed that it had been created for her. The bedding was silk sheets and pillow cases (numerous pillows), with a layer of blankets -  a super fluffy one with a weighted one on top, then a cute, thin one with a floral pattern. The room smelled of rosemary, eucalyptus, lemon, patchouli, and ylang ylang. She’d thrown some rose and chamomile into her diffuser and together with whatever he had making scents - the room smelled like perfection. Plus, she adored the number of plants in there. She wanted to be a plant mom, but never had the time. All of these were plants that she loved (at least the aesthetic and scents of). Plus… she noticed when she went to grab her luggage from the closet..  he had a jar of gummy bears on the dresser by the door and a little tent card that read “Organic and Fresh,” in his own handwriting.

She grabbed a handful of them, helped herself to more Bang Bang Bubbly, and came out of the room, nervously. She paused and heard the guys laughing together. She peeked in and saw them playfully fighting over the cheese grater. Jasper was wrapped around Henry, who held the grater just out of his reach and pushed him backwards with his hips. It was very… intimate. Charlotte stepped into the room and made a small sigh of a noise that sorta sounded like a little whimper, just for attention.

Henry and Jasper both turned to look at her and they froze, still wrapped up in the wrestle, but completely distracted, now. They whispered, “Fuuuuuuck,” when they saw her and separated to stare. She sauntered in with her hands clasped together, kinda nervously. She didn’t know where her eyes should be, so she kept them on her fingers. She still felt the two pairs that were stuck on her. Henry’s mouth was wide open and Jasper licked his lips. “You look gooooood,” Henry managed to break the silence.

She blushed and looked at the ground, “My bruises are showing. I can’t look that good.”

“You will ALWAYS look that good!” Jasper said and came to her, gathering her for a kiss.  Now, Henry looked at the ground, and set down the cheese grater. He folded his arms and leaned against the counter as Jasper led Charlotte to the table to help her settle in her seat. “Are you feeling any better?” 

“I’m full of Bubbly,” she said and shrugged her shoulders. 

Jasper squatted next to her chair and asked, “What can I get you to drink?”

“Just water, please?” 

He kissed her shoulder and said, “Coming right up. God, you’re gorgeous!” He tapped her chin with his fingertips and went to get the water. She traced circles on the table and Henry came with a bucket of ice with a bottle of wine in it and sat down. Jasper returned with water and pointed out, “I’ve put the fresh fruit platter right in front of you, so that you don’t have to reach for it.” She smiled brightly. Her man knew what to do, like all of the time. She smiled sadly. “I wanna tell Jasper that I pressured Henry into telling me about what happened between them. But, we’re all at peace and everyone’s having a good time, so I don’t wanna do it at dinner. I wanna do it when we’re alone.. Then again, what if Henry were to mention it at dinner and it looks like I was keeping it from him? At this point, I’m so stressed out, but I also don’t want to ruin the time that we’re spending together. So… I just shut up and hope that it didn’t come up.”

The song Been to the Moon that Charlotte was singing the night that Henry went to the lounge began to play and Charlotte, with a mouth full of fruit, said, “Oooh! I love this song!” 

“Yeah, I love it too, now. I wish that I had it in your voice,” Henry said, opening the wine. She waved a hand at him, feigning flattery. “It was the only song I remembered you sang that night, because the lyrics were pretty moving… and appropriate.” She blushed. That almost sounded like a declaration of love. She didn’t need that, not after that hug earlier. She wanted for Henry to pipe down. In fact, whatever she entered the room with he and Jasper doing… “Henry is confusing me. I can’t tell what he wants, and I know it shouldn’t matter, but for some reason, I’m preoccupied with it. Does he want to take Jasper away from me? Does he want to take me from Jasper? Does he just… wanna come between the two of us so that we can be alone or available to him?” *Bites her lip and looks both worried but really adorable too.*

“I was thinking that after dinner, maybe we could hang out and watch movies, unless you two just wanna be alone,” Henry suggested. He knew that he was much too eager to spend time with them, but he wanted to get as much of it as he could while nobody was mad or sad because of him. 

“Sounds good to me,” Charlotte said. “I honestly can’t feel my feet or my face, so it’s not much that I can do anyway.”

“After about 3 days of Bang Bang Bubbly, I usually have my acupuncturist come over. Then, I sleep for hours and wake up unscathed,” Henry said. “That stuff changed my life. I’ll have her come in for you,” He began to send a message from his phone. “She’ll be here Wednesday morning to see you.” He smiled and set his phone down. “So! I feel like I didn’t get around to talking about things in the steam room, talking about everything, I mean. I didn’t really feel like I got everything out in the open that you both needed and I can’t really stand for you two not to have whatever you need out of me.” 

Charlotte looked at Jasper, to see if he was going to say something. He was more interested in his plate. Charlotte placed her fork down and nodded her head, “Well… I want to say something. I wanted to tell Jasper about earlier.” Jasper paused when she said his name. “I have to tell you something. So, earlier, before you got here, I was kinda naughty…” His eyes narrowed in confusion and he tilted his head. “I used Henry’s desperation to get me to be nice to him to find out about what happened between the two of you, once and for all.” Now, as the look of realization set in, one of sadness flooded over him as well.

“And, what do you think of me now?”

“I think that you were in such a terrible place for 2 years of your life, and maybe if I hadn’t been so salty, I could’ve been the friend that you needed, to see you through that. What happened was a mess and you... had to have been sad, longer than before you broke up. You had to have noticed things. We always do, whether we want to or not. I’m sorry that you were treated that way.” She moved her chair closer to him, cupped his face and rubbed his cheeks with her thumbs. Henry watched them in what was literally the worst pain that he could recall feeling in his heart. 

Jasper placed his larger hands over Charlotte’s and asked, “That doesn’t make you wanna leave me? That I was so weak and stupid? I avoided telling you, because anybody that I’ve told, if I was interested in them, they felt like there were things unresolved between Henry and I and they didn’t want me. That’s why I’ve been afraid to tell you.”

“Don’t be afraid. I have your back, forever Jasper. If we don’t last, I’m never gonna hurt you, okay? Forever and for always, I’m gonna be your friend and want what’s best for you.” He pressed his forehead to hers and just rested there for a moment. 

Jasper eventually broke the contact and noticed Henry, watching them with his hands clasped on top of the table. He didn’t comment on Henry’s blend of emotions. Instead, focused the conversation on Charlotte, “So… Your dad stopped by last night. He was really worried and shoved right passed me to search the apartment and see if you were home. I told him that you were at Henry’s, and he thought that I was lying. He was like, “The only person that she wants to talk to less than me is him!” Like, did he stop by here? I don’t know if he knows where Henry lives, but I didn’t know that he knew where I lived, so I don’t know.”

“I’ve spoken to him, since then. I didn’t tell him where Henry lives, but I told him that I would stop by to see him after I was feeling better.” 

Bringing on the Heartbreak by Def Leppard came on the playlist and the three all went completely apesh*t. Using utensils as microphones and instruments, a lot of unnecessary headbanging and hairography, but it was SUCH a classic and they were old enough to enjoy it and understand it and admit to appreciating the genre, even though they once called it “old people music.” Well… Charlotte and Henry hadn’t been too fond of it back in their day. Jasper would tell them that they were bad at appreciating good music. He was very much into to kind of stuff that his dad liked, mainly because he wasn’t really given many options of his own. He kinda had to listen to whatever his folks played and his dad was all about the hard rock and rock ballads, while his mom listened to some Irish folk music and weird instrumentals that Charlotte was always sure were made simply for vibrations to match drug usage. They never talked about it much, but they were relatively certain that she had some history with it. 

When they sat back down, Charlotte was ready to sing more, now. She had Henry show her how his music system worked and she was getting ready to browse, but George Michaels began to play and she laughed and asked, “What IS it with you and these old songs?” 

“I spend most of my social time around old people!” He said. 

“This is actually a great song, though,” She said swaying to Careless Whisper.

“All of his songs are great,” Henry corrected her. 

“Booty Bear, come dance with me!” Charlotte said. Jasper was staring thoughtfully into his empty plate and blinked when he heard her request.

“I’m kinda stuffed. Maybe Henry can dance with you,” he said. Something was wrong with him, but she didn’t know if she should ask him now or wait until they were alone, so she and Henry started to dance to Careless Whisper, singing along and breaking contact for saxophone portions that Charlotte couldn’t contain her movements to a slow dance for. One More Try came on next and now, Jasper jumped up and she smiled, about to ask him if he was gonna dance with her now, but he took the remote and turned it off. His hands were shaking a little, but he forced a smile. “Sorry. I didn’t wanna hear that one.” Lips of an Angel by Hinder came on and Jasper set the remote down and went to clear his plate from the table, “I’ll get it, Jasp,” Henry offered and went to him. He touched the small of his back and asked quietly, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just… it’s bad memories, is all.” He smiled a little and Charlotte watched them, listening to this song and she would never admit that she felt a way. She felt like she was watching a music video. “My girlfriend’s in the next room, sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on…” Jasper and Henry hugged and then Henry cleared the table and told them they could get comfortable in his room. Charlotte met Jasper, asked, “What just happened?”

“I… That George Michael’s song One More Try… That’s the last song thing that I could remember before I passed out. It just brought some things up.”

“And Henry was able to comfort you?”

“No. I mean, he gave me a hug, but that was nothing…” *Charlotte singing* And I never want to say goodbye, but (god) you make it hard to be faithful. With the lips of an angel… Is THAT something that you wanna hear in the background of your man hugging his ex that he was in love with most of his life, and then find out that what made him sad that night was thinking about the night that they broke up? Because, I was shook.

Henry threw everything into the dishwasher and went into his bedroom. Charlotte had grabbed the fluffy blanket from her room and was snuggled in it in the bed when he came in. "Where's Jasper?"

"Washing his feet."

"Wash… what?"

"You know how smelly they can get! He's gonna wash them and put some of the oil blend I made him for foot odor. Lavender, lemon, peppermint & tea tree… in case you're about to unleash something dank from those canvas sneaks."

"Nope. My essential oils game is STRONG. You smell that blend in your room? Daddy did that on his own!"

"Did… did.. you just refer to yourself as "Daddy?"

"I did and I hate that I did."

“I hate that you had Lips of an Angel playing and hugging my boyfriend,’ she said, unable to hold that inside for much longer.

“Oh. It’s just on that particular playlist. It’s not like I planned it that way.”

“So, you had no idea that George Michael’s One More Try was playing the night that he almost died?”

“WHAT? I was just now years old when I heard this! Is… Is he okay?” Henry honestly looked upset.

“I think so. I just… Are you still in love with him?” She asked. She could tell from Henry’s facial expression and hesitation what the answer was, but he didn’t get a chance to actually answer her.

Jasper came in, slightly damp, wearing a belly shirt, shorts and socks. "Decided to just take a whole shower. Hen… you need any foot oil?"

"No! My feet smell good!" Henry cheered, grateful for that rescue. 

"This bed is extremely comfortable," Charlotte said, sliding over for Jasper. He simply smiled and got closer to her while Henry grabbed the remote for the projector. He'd turned his bedroom into somewhat of a home theater. He had a movie screen on the wall that the bed faced, instead of a TV and projected any movie that he had access to on his computer onto the screen.

"How's horror sound?" He wondered.

"I'm for it," Jasper quickly answered. 

Charlotte cringed, "Why not something sci-fi or fantasy?"

"What do you wanna watch?"Henry asked.

She took his remote and he simply laughed and laid down next to her. "I guess you're in charge."

"Nothing new," Jasper said. "I don't run anything in our home."

"That's a lie!" Charlotte said, browsing her movie options.

"Lemme guess… he's the boss in the bedroom." Jasper blushed as Charlotte's face said it all. "I knew it. Everybody thinks he's sweet and innocent when he's really a sexual force to be reckoned with."

"I can't even speak half the time when he's done with me," she admitted, finally selecting something. "Forget having me wrapped around his finger. He's got me wrapped around his third leg."

"Stahp!" Jasper insisted, smiling so hard his face hurt. 

Henry's eyes trailed the length of Jasper and for a moment, he thought about being wrapped around him. They made eye contact and Jasper's expression questioned him. He turned towards the screen and grabbed one of the pillows to hug against himself. Charlotte set down the remote and said, “Jasper, full disclosure, I told Henry what you were upset about tonight.” Jasper’s smile faded.

“I just don’t understand why Charlotte is dragging me through so many emotions on this night. Like, on the one hand, I see that she’s just trying to be open and honest and I DO value that, so much. She’s the most genuine person I’ve ever dated and everything that she does comes from a place of integrity and concern. But, right now, I just wanna, chill and not think about anymore of my pain, and she just keeps… coming back to it.”

“I don’t wanna talk about that, Char.”

“The Bang Bang Bubbly may be affecting her inhibitions.”

“No,” she said and shook her head. “I just don’t want to let anything go unchecked and I have some things that made my list at dinner. I’ve already asked Henry about that Hinder song, but I should tell you, I felt some kind of way watching the two of you interact while that song was on.”

“We were just talking,” Jasper said, with a tight smile. “No need to be jealous. You know that nothing is happening here, with the history that we have.”

“The history matters. Even I sometimes can look at Henry and forget for a moment that we had the worst breakup that I have ever had in my life, and I had an ex give me back an anniversary present on my birthday and dump me at the same time.”

“Whoa, what? To… Basically all of that?” Henry asked.

She ignored him and told Jasper, “I understand it if sometimes you feel confused.”

“I gave myself 2 years to get over him for the 2 years that I gave into him and I’m confident that I met my deadline,” Jasper said. “I’m very good at doing things that I put my mind to.”

“I know, but… You didn’t give him 2 years, though. You always loved him. What if it takes the rest of you life and that never goes away? What if you’re in a state of settling right now? You know, you can’t live your best life by limiting your intentions.”

Jasper picked up the remote and began browsing, “Guess we’re not gonna have our tears of joy wedding moment, at this rate,” he said sourly. (This had become their little inside joke), but Henry coughed on air or spit.

“You… two are getting married?”

“No. I mean, I don’t know…” Jasper said. “It’s an ongoing little joke we have, sort of.”

Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows and asked Henry, “Why, would that make you feel some kind of way?” Jasper nervously tapped his foot, wanting her to cut this out. 

Henry squeezed the pillow far tighter than necessary and shrugged his shoulders, trying to answer calmly. “Well, I am human, so sure. Of course, it would make me feel some kind of way. I have very deep histories with both of you and seeing you together already stirs a lot of things up. But, I would be happy for you, like I’m happy for you now. You both deserve each other. There’s not two people alive more deserving of love than the two that loved me more than I ever deserved.”

“Would you look at that! I found a fantasy movie,” Jasper said and flung the remote, then laid back. 

Charlotte felt like she should probably stop talking. Jasper was visibly bothered by what she was saying and clearly just wanted her to shut up and watch the movie. But, she couldn’t! “I’m glad that the three of us are here tonight and everything's out in the open. I asked you about how you would feel, because I’ve been noticing some things and I have to say something about it.”

“Okay?” Henry said, realizing that was directed at him. Jasper sighed and pursed his lips together.

“You and Jasper might not realize it, but you’ve been looking at each other. You seem to have these unspoken conversations and maybe me now knowing what happened between you will make those make more sense, but I feel like… I don’t know… Like the two of you didn’t get a chance to be what you could’ve been and that now that you’re  a better person, Jasper definitely sees it and is curious about how it would go with this version of you… I’m… intimidated by it and I don’t want to be…” She shook her head. “It was like none of the words that I imagined could come out. Because, then the possibility might become more real. I don’t wanna be like my mom. I don’t wanna be like Jasper. I don’t wanna get played for a fool. I don’t want to be in the middle of something that was bound to happen and think that I was important when I was really just a placeholder. I don’t wanna be on TV crying as somebody I trusted flips on me, because they just couldn’t stand to not have this one thing.”

“I’d never do that to you,” Jasper said, reading her mind.

“I don’t think you’d purposefully do anything. I think that you were in love with somebody since you were a kid, and…”

“And it failed, miserably!”

“Because, he hadn’t evolved enough to be ready for you.”

“It sounds like you’re shoving me onto Henry and you just told me like five minutes ago that you’re not gonna hurt me. I’m feeling dangerously close to being hurt, right now.”

“That feeling might be fear! I just want you to think about it. My parents moved really fast and moved on their feelings and wound up married and with child before they even paused to see if they LIKED each other, as people. Turned out that they did not. I want me and you, Jasper, to always like each other. We’ve done really well for the past year and I just want us to always be great together, even if it’s not together…”

Jasper gasped and covered his mouth, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I’m… extending to you some freedom to explore and figure out what you want, kinda how you did for Henry, but hopefully, with more respect between us. I just want you to be sure that you’re not missing out on anything.”

“But, we’re still together?”

“Yes.”

“You just want the door open, in case I want something with Henry?”

“I don’t necessarily want the door open, but feel like I would be more comfortable putting it out there right now that if something happens between you and Henry, I understand and I’ll let you figure out what that means for you.” 

“Okay. Thanks for that. Ummm…” Jasper now avoided even looking in Henry’s direction. He didn’t want to know what he thought about what Charlotte said. He didn’t even know what he thought about it, himself.

“I really put my foot in my mouth, and that is not something that I normally do, so I’ll just go ahead and blame it on the Bubbly, which I have 2 more days of taking to go.”

Charlotte got up out of the bed and walked out of the room. “Where are you going?” Both men asked her. She shook her head and kept going. They probably think I’m stupid or crazy right now and I don’t blame them. Jasper told Henry, “Please, stop encouraging her to ask or talk about us. If anybody should be talking to her about us, it should be me.”

“Okay, but I thought you wanted me and her to work on us.”

“Not if it means she’s thinking I need myself a side of Henry!”

“A side of Henry could do you some good!”

“Shut the fuck up, Henry,” Jasper said and went after Charlotte. Henry followed. She just needed some breathing room, but Jasper’s emotions had been all over the place and he didn’t want to let her out of his sight. “Char? Where are you going?”

“I haven’t been to the Man Cave,” she said. 

“Well, I’m sure that’s fine with Henry,” he said and looked back at him. Henry nodded and passed her to lead them to the elevator.

.

They made their way into the Man Cave. It was set up similar to the way it used to be, but Charlotte immediately noticed new tech and a different tone of the Cave. She went to explore, since they weren’t being filmed while there, and while she was, Henry tried to talk to Jasper, “Just so you know, she’s probably just medicated and loopy. I’m not gonna pay that any mind. I know that you’ve only got eyes for her.”

Jasper rolled his eyes and sighed, “And I know that you still want her.”

“If you know that, why did you let her stay here, by herself with me? I mean, even with feeling guilty about what happened, I would think that you wouldn’t trust me not to… Try…” Henry scoffed. “You thought that I was gonna try to come on to her! Did you even actually wanna see us try to mend things, or did you just set things up to see if I was gonna try to snake my way back to her?”

“Both,” Jasper said and shrugged his shoulders. In the background, Charlotte was getting excited about various additions to the place that they all used to spend most of their time. 

“Wow. So, did you even forgive me, or did you say that so that I could let my guard down and open myself up?”

“I forgave you a long time ago. Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting and I know that you want what I have.”

“I want what both of you have!” Henry hissed, then covered his face. “Yeah, yeah, I do still want her… but I want you too. I know that’s not possible and I know that’s one sides… or two sided, I guess… But, that’s my feelings. I have to live with those and I’ve resigned myself to it. I guess I just have to try harder for you to be comfortable enough to know that I’m bigger than my feelings, now. I’m bigger than my wants…” They both realized that the room was quiet and turned to see Charlotte, staring at them, holding something in her hand. Henry stepped back from Jasper and went over to her. “Hey, you’re finding all kinda stuff.”

“Yeah. What did I miss?” She asked (about he and Jasper’s little exchange). 

“Just that you don’t have to worry about Jasper and I rekindling anything,” he smiled, but it was sad. It was that old smile that he used to give her whenever he lost a battle and didn’t want to talk about it, but didn’t want her to worry, either. She always used to worry. But, this time, she just felt bad for him. 

“I could take it. I’ve actually been in mutually agreed open relationships before, and I’ve identified as poly for the past few years…”

Henry’s eyebrows shot up, “Really? You were… involved in a polyamorous relationship, or you simply realized that you lean towards such arrangements?”

“A little of both. It began with one of my open relationships’ friends. We got along a lot better than they did, but they were far more sexually compatible, so while they were seeing each other, myself and this other person began dating, of course, everyone was in communication about it. My partner felt a little weird about it at first, as he was the person who introduced us and saw him as “his,” but couldn’t deny that he saw the chemistry and didn’t want to obstruct our openness. It was the only time one of us fell for the other’s side interest, but that had never been a rule not to.”

“So, you’ve been in a relationship before… with two guys?” Henry asked, a little more encouraged than a few minutes ago.

“I have. It was difficult and didn’t last, because sometimes whenever you have more than a couple of people, especially if one or more isn’t used to the openness and honesty and sharing… Sometimes the dynamics can be confusing. Those days whenever you don’t really want to be bothered, so they go on without you, and you still feel slighted, even though if you were only with one person and you didn’t want to be bothered, you’d appreciate them respecting that. Whenever you measure up things, whether intensional or not and realize that the sex drive or sexual attraction for some of the others might be different in a way that makes you insecure… I mean… There’s a lot of reasons that relationship didn’t last.”

“Did you remove yourself from it?” He asked.

“No. I was broken up with by my original partner and when that happened, his side interest broke things off with him. He said that he came into a packaged arrangement and he didn’t want to be just with one of us. Of course, my ex said that he didn’t mind that they kept things open, but he just wasn’t interested in continuing to see me, on his end. I wasn’t interested in that. I was new to discovering myself and it seemed messy. None of the other stuff seemed messy, just like… you know, relationship work. But, when it got to where I couldn’t figure out what the purpose of the work would be, I definitely dipped. Long story short, I can handle Jasper exploring you without feeling discarded, and in the event that I’m not meant for a longer journey, I can accept that shit with grace.”

Whenever she brought the subject back to Jasper, Henry sighed, “He’s not interested.”

“That’s a lie.”

“He’s not interested in trying, and I respect that… Wait… Jasper was giving me a morality test, is that what you’re doing right now? Is this the part where I find out that contrary to my previous belief that seeing the two of you in love was my sentencing, it’s actually having both of you play multiple games to see if my heart is in the right place?”

She furrowed her eyebrows and turned up her nose, “I’d sooner not even deal with you at all. I don’t have time for games. I’m a broke ass genius. I’d use game playing energy to get a real job. What does this thing do?” she changed the subject, now, to the contraption in her hands.

“I can’t say that they are in it together, but I feel like it’s a coincidence that Jasper was testing me and she takes that time to openly announce that she’s fine with us trying a thing, and then she had that pretty convincing story of her experience with a polyamorous relationship with two men, a relationship that didn’t work out. If you’ve already failed at a similar relationship, then why would you be open to another?”

“It boggles my mind that he would wonder that, because that is precisely how relationships work. Most of us don’t have a relationship with the same person for our entire dating span. So, to think that polyamorous people would just give up when their first try doesn’t work out is… Does he ACTUALLY have those credentials? Because, I don’t know if I’d go to therapy with somebody who says the things that he says about relationships, not even for sexual advice… Though, maybe he’s only good at speaking about that aspect, and not the emotional. He could have just said that he and Jasper are too afraid to try out their emotions with me in the picture and kept it moving.”

The spa-hospital-sleeping-waking up etc schedule had thrown everyone’s body off a little bit. So that they were all still awake whenever it was time for the sun to come up. “We need to get to the roof. We won’t be able to see it anywhere else,” Jasper told Charlotte.

“You can see it from the balcony,” Henry said. Jasper remembered just as brightly as it was yesterday how Henry had snapped at him for interrupting sunrise for him before, and flinched at the thought. But, Henry took his hand and pulled him towards the balcony. He glanced at Charlotte, to see if this was okay and she followed, without much of a reaction on her face. They leaned against the bar and watched in complete silence. Jasper was in the middle, with Charlotte and Henry on either side of him. 

Charlotte and Henry usually both watched the sun come up, but Jasper was having an emotional moment - because Charlotte had never withheld this time from him, yet Henry had. Today, they were both here with him and not only was Henry no longer withholding this moment from him, but Charlotte was here, as well. It was perfect and he was overcome. They didn’t know what he was thinking, but damn if he wasn’t gorgeous in the growing light of the sun. Charlotte had never noticed before; she was usually quite engaged with the view of the earth being brought into a new day. Henry hadn’t turned from said view since Char had left. But this day, both of them were staring at Jasper and he was a vision to behold. 

They caught a glimpse of each other, staring lovingly at the man in between them and silently agreed not to bother each other about the fixation that they gladly returned to after that acknowledgement. At the same time, unplanned, they each moved a hand to the small of his back and their fingers accidentally brushed together.  Both of them moved their hands to a different spot on his back and he collected them into each of his arms. “This is the warmest that the sunrise has felt in a while,” Henry said and snuggled in closer. Charlotte slid her hand beneath the back of Jasper’s crop top to stroke his skin more intimately. 

“Yeah, it’s a perfect day,” Jasper agreed. He turned to smile at Charlotte, first and kiss her on the forehead, then leaned his head against Henry’s shoulder.

Henry had to water his plants after that, and talk to them. Charlotte offered to help, wanting to spend time with his herb garden, but he preferred to walk her through it, so they did that first and Jasper just hung around, amazed that Henry was finally so open with him and these areas of his life. Suddenly, Charlotte’s offer didn’t seem so… scary. Then again, the difference was that Charlotte was here. Yeah, he and Henry had made up and been nice to each other since their breakup and even during plant time, when Jasper interrupted, Henry was cordial about it. But, here, with Charlotte, that made a difference in how loving Henry was. Henry had admitted that he wanted both of them, to Jasper. So, of course, it made sense that he was standing way too close and unnecessarily touching her to show her how to care for the plants, but Jasper still didn’t trust this. He still felt a little bit jealous, though he was also kinda gushy about it. 

Henry and Charlotte were a beautiful couple. He’d thought about them together, years ago. He’d thought about if he had been with her instead, would they have lasted and would she have dated Henry later. He thought about the three of them together… But, that was before the issues. That could never be a thing now. Although�� She brought up the idea of he and Henry exploring. He could bring up the idea of the three of them.. And always play it off like he was trying to show her how ridiculous her idea sounded, if she didn’t seem into it. He decided that he would do that! But… this wasn’t the right time, was it? “You two are getting dirty. Might have to have a shower party soon!” He said, then immediately regretted it. 

“What’s a shower party?” Henry asked. Charlotte had just looked at him like people looked at his 11th toe.

“I think he was making a joke about us taking a shower together.”

“Dude. You’re gonna make it weird. We’re having a nice morning,” Henry said. He and Charlotte laughed and she returned to the herbs. But, Henry stared at Jasper. He looked nervous and unsure of himself. Like, he wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how. “You okay there, Buddy?” Henry wondered.

“Why not the three of us?” Jasper asked.

“Oh, boy,” Charlotte said.

“I mean… why just me and Henry? There’s definitely something there between the two of you too. I guess I don’t understand why you think he’s good enough or changed enough for me to make attempts, but not for you.”

“It’s got nothing to do with that at all.”

“She’s insecure and just wants to be sure. You know, like how you set me up to try to get her by leaving her here with me? You two are playing the same damn game, Jasper.”

“I’ve already discussed that I’m not playing any games. You’re the master game player, so I know that you would know, but I assure you, if I was playing games, you wouldn’t be smart enough to peep it,” she said. She and Henry began fussing at each other, for the first time since they began speaking again and Jasper felt like he might have a panic attack. 

Look at what he’d done! Henry tried to do something nice and take care of Char in this bright and beautiful space, and Jasper mistrusted him. Char tried to open up a chance for him to resolve any of his past, with perfect trust and no judgement and he’d shot her down. Now, he had them arguing again, and they were doing so well, since last night! He sniffled and both of them heard it, even through their loud voices. 

He couldn’t hear their words of concern and affirmation through the sound of his heartbeat in his ears, but he could tell that they were both more concerned with seeing about him than with arguing with each other, unlike his parents, which sometimes, arguments made him think of… especially if he felt like it was his fault. 

Charlotte stepped back and let Henry try to reach out to Jasper, cupping his face and trying to make eye contact with him. “Jasper, we’re sorry. We didn’t mean to start arguing, okay? It’s just banter, a little bickering, like old times. Remember when we used to do this? You’d just drown us out most of the time. It was no big deal. We’re good. We’re good. You’re okay. It wasn’t your fault, and nothing bad happened.” Jasper stared at him and it was like he’d finally realized where he was. “Heyyyy,” Henry said. Jasper fell onto him and hugged him. Charlotte rubbed his back and she and Henry exchanged guilty glances. 

She suggested, “Since our sleep schedules are messed up, we might as well try to stay awake until tonight and get back on a regular rotation. You wanna go home?” 

“You can stay!” Henry said. “I’ll make myself scarce. I mean, I’ll hang out in my room or down here or something. You two relax.”

“I’m fine,” Jasper said and shook Henry off of him. “I just had a moment.” He tried to smile. “Got a little headache.”

“I’ve got something for that,” Charlotte said and collected him. To Henry, she said, “Thanks for bringing him out.”

“I love him too,” he said casually, with a shrug of his shoulders.

[thots4daze]

My Boy - Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Hey hey heyyyyyy y’all~! guess what i started and finished tonight?! that’s right, a one shot

BOOM go me~! i did have inspiration and help from @summon-the-stars and @supern-a-vengers

aside from language - cause i use the word FUCK a lot, this is your only warning for that . . . also also i listened to billie eilish “my boy” on repeat for the ENTIRETY of writing this . . . which was like, a total of 2+ hours eeeep

soooo, enjoy y’all!

MY BOY - OIKAWA TOORU x fem!READER 

its almost gender neutral, but i think i fucked up and wrote “she/her” in some places sooooo, imma be safe and say fem! reader 

It was no secret that Oikawa Tooru, THE Oikawa Tooru, the King of the court and volleyball all-star, Oikawa Tooru, who was the bane of every guy’s existence and every girl’s wet dream; was a serial dater. If that was even a thing.

He probably went through girls faster than he does hair product. Though that didn’t seem to stop girls from throwing themselves at his feet, wishing, hoping, wanting . . . begging, to be his next victim. You were the exception. If exceptions still craved for attention from said serial dater. The only difference was, you knew better! Or at least you liked to think so.

Other members of the same sex, hell, even those of the opposite, would shoot you nasty glances anytime the king would waltz through the halls, or classes, or the court. And while everyone else around you were hurling their bodies down before him, you stood erect and just . . . watched on. With what you hoped was an indifferent stare. 

No matter what was going on, Oikawa Tooru attempted to gain your attention, if even for a short while. To have everyone else around him be so smitten and caught up in his presence definitely did a number to his ego. Iwaizumi has always made sure he was aware. And he was. He was no idiot. Not by a long shot. Though the majority of the time he couldn’t stand all the attention on him for his looks alone, he still craved to have it. And from everyone. And that meant you too. And since he wasn’t gaining it, it really burst his bubble.

So, when the Seijoh Squad was having a small gathering, there at their usual lunch table, and Makki and Mattsun brought up the ideas of completing dares for the month, Oikawa snapped his head up from his hands and looked at the meme duo with intrigue.

My boy's being sus

“Go on~” he practically purred. The others just glanced at one another before smirks of their own crawled onto their faces. And if he wasn’t so interested, he might have been a little apprehensive of the whole situation.

“We have to ask out someone, of the other’s choosing of course. And date until the end of the month. The one who can last the longest wins.”

“What do I win?”

“Who says you’re gonna win?” Makki quested pointedly at his captain.

“Psht, please. Have you seen me?” Iwaizumi just shoved his hand in his best friends face and pushed, “You can’t keep a relationship together for longer than a week, let alone a month.”

“Wahhh, Iwa-chan, so brutish. You’ll never keep a girl like that~”

“Having a relationship doesn’t sound all that difficult,” Mattsun voiced out loud, ignoring the other two completely. The others thought about it and agreed.

“Obviously, we’d have to make it public - dates, with pictures. And the occasional hand holding and kissing - that would have to be a must . . .” Makki continued to ramble on under his breath, but just loud enough for the others to hear and agree.

Oikawa was busy staring at you from across the lunch hall, chatting it up with your friends. You were quite popular among the students of Aoba Johsai. Straight marks on everything, leading position in your club. You were cute to boot. Even Oikawa could admit to that. So, when he let out a sigh, his next words trailed after without a second thought, “What about a trophy.” It was more a statement than a question.

The boys around him raised their brows in silent questioning. Snapping out of his daze, but only a fraction, Oiukawa continued, “Ya know, a trophy. Of a conquest.” When the others still didn’t speak up he rolled his eyes, “Undergarments?”

“Ohhhh.” It hit them like a truck. A deep blush crossing each of their features. And then it was settled. Of course, the “trophies” idea was thrown out immediately by Iwa, who announced that if it were to become a thing, he was going to personally kill each and every one of them. No more talk of “trophies” was ever spoken again.

The boys knew of your denial of Oikawa in the past and felt that you were the perfect target for this lil dare. One, you wouldn’t easily fall for his shit and two, that because of that he would be out first. It was a win-win in their eyes. So, at the end of the day, when Oikawa walked into your club room; sauntering the way he does, you didn’t think twice.

“Here for another victim, Oikawa?” You mused, looking up at him through long lashes. Cheeks a little flushed, hair disheveled, and your uniform top rumpled up. There was a heat wave passing through this season and it was killer - especially in the afternoons when you had club meetings in the older buildings on the outskirts of the campus where the AC was constantly on the fritz.

His tongue darted out to lick the seam of his velvet lips. The heat slowly getting to him as he took in your features. You were so much prettier in close proximity. However, your little jab at him brought him back down to earth and with a well placed smile, that everyone took for genuine, he replied, “Why, Y/N, you wound me~ I was just swinging by to see if you would like to walk home after clubs over?”

You were at a loss for words and only managed to glare at him slightly, still being wary of his intentions. But nodded anyways. You weren’t going to flat out deny a chance to spend time with the handsome captain. Are you crazy?

“Great!” He beamed, “Just swing by the gym when you’re done here and we can head out. Later, Y/N-chan~” with a blown kiss, he was out the door and around the corner outta view. The rest of the club that was there were just staring between the door way and you standing there like an idiot. Some of the members even went to work texting out to everyone the situation that just took place. Oikawa Tooru was showing interest in you. And you didn’t shoot him down. The world was coming to an end.

He walked you home, like he promised, stopping at the corner store on the way and purchasing some cold drinks for you to enjoy in the simmering heat. Granted, the sun had set by now, but the heat lingered and it was sticky. Conversations ebbed and flowed easily enough and you soon find yourself melting into his charm and charisma. He was cute and funny and smart. Who would have known? The evening ended with him walking you all the way to your door, before planting a sweet, chaste kiss to your lips and then waving goodnight with that same smile from earlier. And from that moment, you knew you were gone.

--- X ---

Over the past month, your relationship with Tooru grew. Yes, relationship. Yes, Tooru. It was strange, you couldn't get over the thought that this was happening. You were happy, he was happy and you enjoyed every minute of it.

 He was shady enough

At the beginning you were skeptical, especially when he asked you out, in front of everyone. You tentatively accepted but at the back of your mind you knew that it was only going to be for a day or two - so you didn’t do anything different than your normal routine. And so when Tooru would come around to try to be a loving boyfriend, it threw you for a loop. Once one day turned to one week and then to two - you had found yourself sliding into the relationship easier than you would have thought. 

You enjoyed it. You enjoyed him. Cute lil cafe dates - which weren’t really your scene before - somehow became something you looked forward to with him. Pictures taken together were always a must. And of course he always wanted to make sure that you both looked the most perfect you could. When you went to post the picture, he stopped you with a firm grip to your wrist, “Tooru?” You looked at him with a questioning expression.

But now he's just a shadow

“Oh, sorry, Y/N-chan~ I just don’t want my fan club to see and then flock here. Then our lovely date would have to be rushed and over waaaay too quickly.” He let go of your wrist once his plight was heard. Slowly you nodded, that made sense. So, you complied and continued on with your date. A nagging feeling presenting itself in the back of your mind.

My boy loves his friends like I love my split ends

Since the start of the relationship, you noticed that him and his friends didn’t spend too much time together - outside of practise, that is. Which struck you as odd. Thinking back on it, and looking around the lunch hall, you spotted the boys with their new relationships. It was uncanny for all of them to be in relationships at the same time. Normally it was just Oikawa, and then the occasional thought that would float around that Makki and Mattsun were a thing - but obviously not, with the way Mattsun has his tongue down some girl’s throat.

And by that I mean

But since this whole . . . thing started, he hasn’t spent any time away from you. Other than when it’s called for [i.e. home, bathroom breaks, classes etc.] and while you’re appreciative of all the attention you’re receiving from your boyfriend, something seems off.

He cuts em off

The nagging thoughts that he was just going to go through you like all the others before you flashed through your mind and didn’t seem to want to leave as you sat there on your bed. Homework was strewn across the comforter of your bed. Trying to focus on anything other than the negative thoughts of Oikawa Tooru was futile at this point. Music flowed softly from your laptop speakers on your desk to the left of you, but you were too caught up in the confusion to pay any mind to the song, let alone the lyrics. Just that it was smooth.

My boy, my boy, my boy Don't love me like he promised My boy, my boy, my boy He ain't a man and sure as hell ain't honest

Eventually, you push the thoughts to the back of your mind to deal with another time. Final exams were coming up and it wouldn’t do you any good to worry about something that’s obviously not an issue. So, after gathering up all your materials and placing them on your desk, you turn to the laptop making sure to close the music player, noticing the song as you do so. “Hmm, ‘my boy’.”

Sooner rather than later, having slipped into the sheets, sleep takes you and you dream of Tooru. The serial dater.

My boy's being sus and he don't know how to cuss

The next morning, he wasn’t there to walk you to school like he had for the past couple of weeks. You thought it was odd, but didn’t dwell too long. Spring prelims were upon you and you must have not heard him when he said extra practices. Right? Yeah, that must be it.

Making your way to school, you were early enough to stop by the corner store and grab some milk bread for Tooru. He’d be so excited that you got it for him and for breakfast no less. You couldn’t help but let the giggle that was bubbling inside out. You could just picture it now. And it was cute.

It didn’t take much longer after purchasing the food that you were on school grounds and letting your feet take you directly to the gym where you could hear the echoing of volleyballs and the screeching of sneakers on freshly polished wood planks as the team was running drills. It warmed your heart to know that your team was kicking ass and taking names - working their asses off to compete and be at the top.

“Maybe I should make some snacks next time and bring ‘em for the whole team?” Your musings were for nobody but yourself as you walked through the open gym doors. Everyone was busy and so no one took any notice of you entering. Which was fine by you. No need to interrupt their practice just to give Tooru some food.

Looking around you noticed that the other third year’s significant others were nowhere to be found and something in you vibrated. Like the kind of unsettling vibrations where when your standing on a ladder and someone comes around and shakes the base.

Scanning the gym your eyes lock onto their target of fluffy chestnut hair. Regardless of the sweat he’s probably covered in, his hair manages to stay put. For the most part at least. He’s standing off to the side with other third years, rubbing their faces with towels and taking swigs from their water bottles - just taking a small break.

The feeling in the pit of your stomach eases a tad bit as you begin making your way to him. ‘Maybe just to say hey, good morning and a kiss? Yeah, that wouldn’t be too distracting.’ With a steely resolve you continued on your way, making a beeline to get to him and the others. His back was to you and the others didn’t seem to notice your presence at first, so when you heard them talking, you decided to listen in. Curiosity and all.

He just sounds like he's tryna be his father (who are you?)

“Alright boys~” Oikawa cooed like the cat that got the cream. They all groaned in unison as if this wasn’t going to happen. “Fess up, I won.” He stood their victoriously, hands on his hips, a towel draped over his left shoulder. 

Iwa rubbed his hands over his warmed and tinted face, practice had already been brutal for the wing spiker and it was only going to get worse knowing that he, they, were going to have to admit that their captain was a winner. And he, and the others, were not thrilled with this.

So, he opted for what he normally does in these annoying Oikawa situations. He brought his fist down on the top of his head, “Shut it, Trashykawa!” Makki and Mattsun couldn’t stifle their grins, let alone their laughs.

My boy's an ugly crier 

“WAAHHHHH~! Iwa-chan! You’re so meeeeeeeean! That’s why you lost the dare! Your little cutie of an arm piece couldn’t stand your brutish ways!” Which earned him another fist to the head, and more tears to flow from his beautiful eyes. Eyes that you were now privileged to see since arriving that morning.

“Dare?”

“Uh, oh. . .” the meme duo, did everything in unison and at this moment, that didn’t change.

“Arm piece?” Every word outta your mouth just brought more and more confusion to your already fried brain. You couldn’t think properly.

But that all changed as soon as Oikawa made a move to get to you. As soon as he reached out to grab your arm, to try and touch you, to make you understand, to listen to him, it all clicked. All of it. Every little moment with you was a farce. A joke. You were a joke to him and his friends.

“Y/N, please listen.” No -chan. There wasn’t a shred of adoration nor affection in his voice like there had been just 12 hours prior to this conversation. Well, less of a conversation and more of him trying to talk to someone who has astral projected themselves outta this situation.

but he's such a pretty liar

“It’s not what you think.”

Liar.

“It wasn’t a dare, not at all . . .” he was struggling to find the right words to bring this conversation to a close as quickly and painlessly as possible. At least on his part. Liar.

“Yeah, it was more of a bet,” Makki interjected. Even though you were hurting, he was going to get his kicks in at his captain. It just happened to be at your expense.

“Makki!” Iwaizumi jumped at his friend, trying to get him to read the fucking room. 

“A bet? A fucking bet?” At the sound of your low tone rising, Oikawa had to flinch at the noise. This was not going to be pleasant.

“What? You bet that you could woo me and get in my pants? Or, or maybe that you could wrap me around your finger and then humiliate me in front of the school when you broke it off? Get me to make a scene and have me kicked from my position in club?”

“No, nothing like that. . . not exactly.”

“Then what?! What was the fucking purpose!” You were livid. Causing the very scene you accused him of making you commit and if you weren’t so pissed, you would have berated yourself for playing right into it.

At this point the other teammates had halted their practice. Coach had gone off to his office, you supposed, since he wasn’t shouting at everyone to continue and you to leave. But you honestly couldn't be bothered. There wasn't anything he could do or say - that anyone could - that would get you to calm down and leave without getting answers.

“I thought you broke it off with her yesterday?” Mattsun mused from behind them all. His towering frame above the lot of you. His eyes betraying nothing. He wasn’t asking or musing out loud to be rude, it was just who he was. But it still pissed you off.

Oikawa turned slightly away from you to be in view of everyone, “Well, I just never got around to it you know?” He finished with a small, small chuckle. Fixing you with a look that spoke to a different side of Oikawa Tooru.

“Ever the fucking showman.” With that you turned on your heel and walked out of the gym, shoulders back and squared, head high and a trembling lip.

And by that I mean he said he'd "change"

You kept going, only stopping when you got to the club room, no one there that early to bother you. Sinking to the floor, back pressed to the closed door, memories swim through your head as you thought back on the past month. All you time spent with him. How he promised, at the beginning, this was going to be different than his other relationships. You had to laugh out loud at that statement now. He wasn’t wrong.

A few stray tears left your eyes as you sniffed, rubbing them dry and pushing up off the ground. Today was going to be a shitty day.

And as if you were blessed with the clairvoyant gift of foresight, you called it. The whole rest of the day was nothing but whispers among your classmates about how Oikawa had dumped you at practice this morning. And those that didn't know about the breakup - how could you not? - put two and two together when they saw Oikawa flirting it up with the second year cheer captain.

The face you wore betrayed nothing to the masses. They speculated all they wanted, however, it was so far from the truth that you didn’t feel the need to correct them.

My boy, my boy, my boy Don't love me like he promised My boy, my boy, my boy He ain't a man and sure as hell ain't honest

So, the rest of the year came and went without a hitch. With it the changing seasons and graduation ceremonies were taking place across the Sendai region. Once that paper was placed in your well manicured hands you were elated.

--- X ---

University started and orientation came and went in the blink of an eye. You adjusted to the life easily. There were hardly any familiar faces from high school there with you. You were able to start anew - without the curse of Oikawa following you.

Well, you had hoped.

Oikawa Tooru stood there in the doorway of your first class of the day, of the year. He looked around the room, “Probably scoping out his next prey,” you muttered to the girl next to you, a friend that lived in the same dorm as you, a door down. She giggled and stared at the volleyball player. Cause that had to be how he got here. Scholarship.

You shake your head no, you knew that wasn’t true. Tooru was a smart guy. Shifty and shady as fuck, but smart. His eyes land on your friend, who blushes like mad. You don’t blame her, you were once in her position. But you had warned her before hand, regaling in tales of old. Though, those seem to have fallen on deaf ears as you look between her and your, ahem, “ex”. Could you even call him that if he didn’t consider it a real relationship?

Internally shrugging you notice that he’s standing directly to your right, you curse yourself for choosing the aisle seat. He’s ignoring you completely; either out of habit or because he truly doesn’t recognize you, you don’t know and you don’t give a flying fuck either.

“Hello, hello, megane-chan~ mind if I sit next to you lovely ladies -” his litany voice caught in his throat as his sight snapped to your bored face. He may have only been catching your side profile, damn you for looking up at the front of the room, but he was 100000% sure that it was you.

“Y/N, I didn't know you were attending studies here~” he tried to throw on that charm. It might have worked, once upon a time. Not anymore. ‘Sorry, Tooru,’ you thought making it a point to continue your watchful bored gaze to the front, waiting on the professor to begin.

“Y/N?” He whined in that oh so Tooru fashion that just rubbed you in all the ways that matter. Wrong.

You want me to be yours well then you gotta be mine

Sighing you turn your gaze to him and his breath catches. You had only grown more beautiful since that last encounter. Minimal makeup, hair thrown into a messy bun, loose shirt with workout leggings? You were just trying to do things to him. Whether you knew it or not, you were.

He had to internally bite his lip to keep from blurting out something so embarrassing and uncool.

“What is it, Shittykawa?” Like a knife through his heart. He rebounds quickly, “Iwa-chan was such a terrible influence on you,” he makes a motion for you to scoot over so he can join you in the bench like stadium seating, but you make no such move. Just continuing to stare at him, waiting for him to get to his purpose.

When he continued to just stand there, expectant, you sighed loudly again. Blowing a strand of loose hair from your face, you gathered your belongings and stood in one fluid motion. It took Oikawa by surprise with the amount of grace you held in your movements. He wondered if you were as swift in other areas.

Shaking his head, physically, he snapped himself to be present to watch your movements. You stood there before him, books in hand, back slung over your shoulder - now exposed via over-sized shirt - and he audibly gulped. And you definitely caught it.

And if you want a good girl, then goodbye

Eyes narrowing at your ex, they didn’t hold any malicious intent. Not in the way he would have thought, at least. Shifting your weight to one foot, while hoisting your materials in your single grip, you made a move to squeeze past the petrified male.

His caramel eyes watched your every move, trying to figure out your next play. Always trying to stay ahead of everyone, by at least one move. And you were no exception. And when you invaded his personal space he was attentive. Hawk like. What were you up to?

You want me to be yours well then you gotta be mine and

It was almost too easy. You could read him like a children’s book. With pictures and everything. Having grown up with him these last 4 years has made you incredibly aware of him and his ticks. His mannerisms. How he thinks. Or, so you like to think. Based off the entire incident that sent you two into this . . . turmoil, some would think otherwise.

Regardless, shaking off those negative thoughts, you go back to the original plan. Move your seat away from him, but stay in his line of sight. Make him regret treating you like a game. Like a joke. 

But when you saw his gaze on you, trying to burn holes into your skin, you felt a heat dance across your skin that you weren’t too upset over. You couldn’t break! Not now! And not to . . him.

Steeling your nerves, and slinking past your ex, you lean into him. Ghosting your lips over his own. Those velvety lips you used to bite and kiss and lick, just months ago. His breathing hitched, you heard and the smirk that threatened to spill past you was too great. So, moving your lips to the outer shell of his ear, covered slightly by his slightly longer locks, you licked your lips ever so slightly.

Warm breath hitting your neck as he released what he was holding. His hands reaching out, trembling, to get a chance to touch you. To remember what you felt like under his fingers. To feel that bare skin that was taunting him. It looked so soft, so supple.

However, before he could come in contact with you, he froze in his spot for two reasons, the voice with which you spoke was one of soft, teasing tenancies and the motion of you brushing and cupping his growing bulge - only somewhat obscured by the long hoodie he was wearing.

And then of course the words you spoke, in that breathy, soft, teasing tone of yours that was new to him, but he was damn sure he was going to get to know, 

“if you want a good girl, then goodbye . . .”

[virullcnt]

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Izuku Midoriya  PRONUNCIATION: Ee-zoo-koo Mee-dor-ee-yah NICKNAME:  Deku. (Prefers his alias over his true name, which his hidden by the general public.) GENDER: Cis Male. HEIGHT: 5′5″. AGE: 14-16 ZODIAC: Cancer  SPOKEN LANGUAGES: Japanese, okay English, learning Chinese because why not.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

HAIR COLOUR: Green with heavy black shadows. EYE COLOUR: Also green  SKIN TONE: Peach BODY TYPE:  Athletic, slightly muscular. ACCENT: None, but a slight Japanese accent when he speaks English. DOMINANT HAND: Ambidextrous, though slightly more of a right hand I guess -- POSTURE: Straight back, confident, though slumped and grumpy when laying low or disguised. TATTOOS: None. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE:  Mostly likely his freckles, and the scars on his hands.

CHILDHOOD.

PLACE OF BIRTH: His house derp HOMETOWN:  Shizouka Prefecture, Japan BIRTH WEIGHT: uhm BIRTH HEIGHT: uHM MANNER OF BIRTH: Though it was tough for his mummy, Izuku came out as a pretty healthy baby, held within the arms of his loving parents. Nothing went wrong, and everyone was happy. FIRST WORDS: Probably "mama" or something lmao SIBLINGS: N/A  PARENTS: Inko Midoriya, Hisashi Midoriya (imprisoned) PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT: Up until Hisashi was ripped away from his family when his Quirk was exposed, things were joyous and happy-go-lucky in the Midoriya household. After he left, the atmosphere changed, went darker, and Izuku was almost closing off his own mother. Despite this, they still love each other, and Inko never stops worrying herself to death when Izuku is out all by himself.

ADULT LIFE. (He's not an adult so imma say teenage life lMAO)

OCCUPATION: A valued member of the Quirk Rebellion, Almost one of the highest ranking members there. CURRENT RESIDENCE: Lives in a cheap apartment with his mother, an hour away from his original home. CLOSE FRIENDS: All Might (father figure) in this verse's canon, but for muses it's verse dependent. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single and doesn't plan on any relationships. Though verse dependent, seeing how he has a few crushes rn. FINANCIAL CLASS: Middle to lower class, most likely. DRIVER’S LICENSE: Nope. Though rarely, he drives illegally. CRIMINAL RECORD: HE'S WANTED, THAT'S FOR SURE LMAO. The usual, stealing, breaking and entering, murder (barely), etc.

SEX AND ROMANCE.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  Bisexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE: Nope. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE: Nope. TURN ON’S: Ew.  TURN OFF’S: No.  LOVE LANGUAGE: All??? lulz Mostly quality time tho.  RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES: He tends to avoid his own feelings, and tries to deny them, but knows he's in love. He also gets WAAAY too flustered when someone flirts with him though hahaha

MISCELLANEOUS.

CHARACTER THEME SONG: You're Gonna Go Far, Kid really fits!! Especially the lyrics in this verse's context. HOBBIES TO PASS THE TIME: Exercising is a good way to pass the time and help him get stronger, especially when he trains with his Quirk. Other than that, Deku likes writing and reading, doing research to get in those brain juices of his. To relax, he plays video games and watches television (probably watching the news news lmao), and yoga to lower his pissed-off levels of fury.  MENTAL ILLNESS: Slight depression, anxiety/panic disorder, and ptsd. PHYSICAL ILLNESS: N/A, but his spinal nerves are fucked. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED?: Both, but more on the left. FEARS: Being alone, tight/small spaces, losing control of his abilities, failing saving his people, All For One (which he'll have to eventually face.) SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL: Very high, but it depends on his mood. VULNERABILITIES: His Quirk breaks his own bones, lmao. But there are other things, like his aforementioned spinal nerve damage.

Tagged by: stolen by my chap @d0yenne! SOWWY

Tagging: if u read this, you're it!

[cajunroe]

Answer all the space asks!

hahahah, nonny. thank you!

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?hahaha, well my i’m having a crisis because i’m in over my head in my grad classes and it’s only the first week and now i’m completely second guessing my entire program bc i feel like i’m out of my depth entirely and if i switched my program to the english program i would at least know more and be able to actually feel comfortable in learning and not spending 6 extra hours on a 300 word assignment to make sure it’s somewhat okayBlack Hole- What are you most afraid of?failure…you can see why the above is a natural disaster waiting to hitGalaxy- Do you have any nicknames? What are they?i call myself a dumbass bitch literally every day of my life; one of my nephews calls me tati Star- What song(s) do you feel describes you?ohh, sleeping sickness by city & colour (nearly anything by city&colour really) habits by findlar, hmm….right now…somebody kill me from the wedding singerMoon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?aside from textbooks…i’m reading lost gods by bromPlanets- If you could go anywhere, where would you go?denver to see my best friend bc i need her hugs rnMercury- Describe your aesthetic.absolute disaster inside, absolute disaster outside.Venus- What’s your favorite tv show?ugh, too many. i list what i’ve rewatched the most: supernatural, the golden girls, the following, justified, band of brothers, the pacific, generation kill, longmire, psych, monk, the punisher, a lot of othersEarth- If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you want to be?joff bozos so i could literally give all his money to meMars- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?my ability to make decisions because i can’t decide one thing. i’m a mess yoJupiter- If you had to pick one color to use for an entire week, what color would you choose?blackSaturn- How far would you go for those you care about?tbh much farther than they would ever go for meUranus- What would you say is your greatest achievement?still being aliveNeptune- Describe yourself in one sentence.simultaneously the best and worst person depending on when you meet herPluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?my soulmateConstellations- If you could have one talent, what would you want it to be? (can be magical or not)teleportation…or if everyone is getting powers, then the ability to absorb powers alla sylar styleAsteroid- When you die, what do you want to be done with your body?cremation??? like idrc imma be dead and gone broAquarius- What’s a topic you enjoy learning about?history, english, digital media, film, languages, linguisticsAquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?both at the same timeAries- What is something you enjoy doing?sleeping Auriga- If you had to pick one villain from any media, who would you rather have to face and why?loki bc i’d distract and befriend he’s fancy boy ass with good wineBootes- If you could have any animal, wild or not, fake or not, which would you want?direwolf - fluffy and deadlyCancer- How do you want to be remembered?i don’tCanis Major- How many friends do you have?people that i truly call a friend: 5 or 6Capricornus- What’s a song lyric that you relate to?“and i’m afraid, to sleep because of what haunts me. such as, living with the uncertainty that’ll never find the words to say which would completely explain, just how i’m breaking down”Cassiopeia- What’s your favorite quote?every word out of my dumbass mouth is goddamn gold so jot that downCygnus- If you could go back to any time period for a couple days, when/where would you want to go?any time i was with my best friend that passedGemini- Do you have any siblings? How many?three. two sisters and one brother.Leo- If you could change the way any movie was made, which movie would you change?the l*st j*diLibra- If you could talk to your past self, what would you tell yourself?life will always be hard, more than you could ever imagine, but there are small moment where you’ll feel pure joy and happiness that will make it all bearable.Lyra- Would you rather be feared or loved?“i want people to be afraid of how much they love me” -me -michael scottOrion- What’s your favorite type of weather?fall. i want it to be cold enough for layers but not too cold that i can’t spend hours and hours outside. there’s enough sunshine to show the leaves changing color but not too much to rid of the brisk air.Pegasus- What’s your favorite music genre?indie, lo-fi/bedroom pop, alternative, etc. Perseus- What’s your favorite movie genre?drama, action, romance, comedy - in that orderPisces- Describe someone you love without saying their name.the most supportive, compatible, and understanding person i know. able to call me out when i’m being the worst version of myself and appreciate me when i’m at my best. knows my traumas and secrets and desire and still loves me. my chosen sister. my other half. my best friend. Sagittarius- What do you do when you don’t feel well? What do you eat/drink?ginger ale, saltines, apple juice, and chicken noodle soup. my go-to sick watches are the twilight zone, gentlemen prefer blondes, anything vincent price, and all-time favorite: who framed roger rabbitScorpius- If you had to pick someone to betray you, who would you pick?myself or my sister, i’m used to bothTaurus- What makes you feel comfortable?cold room, warm bed. coffee. cake and pastries. the feeling after putting on fresh clothes after swimming or playing in the snow. homecooked meals. the smell of cinnamon and pumpkin.Ursa Major- If you had to pick any job to have, what job would you want?sad it before, say it again, maxixmum pay for minimal effortVirgo- What do you value the most- artistic ability/creativity, musical ability, athletic ability, intellect, or work ethic?none. ability to be kind, humble, and compassionate.Neutron- Are you more of a leader or a follower?leader when i need be. follower when i don’t want to lead.Supernova- How do you feel about yourself?the greatest love/hate relationship in the history of the world.Supergiant- What’s something you like about yourself?my sense of humor. my ability to love beyond my means. i love my own company.Red Giant- Would you get into a debate/argument with someone if you heard them saying something you disagree with or know to be wrong, or would you stay silent?GET INTO ARGUMENT. i have no restraint and i’m not going stand by and watch someone make a fool of themselves.Red Dwarf- What’s your favorite smell? What smell makes you feel most comfortable?my candles. my skin fresh out of the shower. the smell of home cooking. cinnamon and pumpkin. ((gasoline)) juniper, jasmine, honeysuckle, white wine, spices, i could go on foreverProtostar- Give a random fact about yourself.i am more stressed about my life choices now than when i started this.

[pandatypewriter]

Day6 Reaction: When their GF kisses them alot

OMG This was owed to the precious, patient nonnie that requested this basically half a year ago? Maybe? I’m not too sure! So much time has gone by, I’m so sorry! I know I can give yall a bunch of excuses but it all boils down was that I was unfortunately busy and was also being a lazy ass. But anyways further ado here is this cute Day6 reaction for the patient precious NONNIE! (A/N: went to their EveryDay6 in December and their vocals slayed me TT0TT)

Nonnie:

day6 reaction to gf kissing them a lot

Jae:

He would playfully tell you stop and that you’re being clingy, but in actuality the boy is loving the attention and affection. He would just love feeling your lips against his skin, whether it would be a full on kiss on the lips or just the slight brush of your lips against his cheek. They all sent his heart in a flurry. When you did stop your kissy action, you can bet that this sassmeister would would drop his jaw in confusion, not knowing you were messing with him since he kept teasing you. He’d try to coax you back into being so affectionate and kissy, but not be too obvious about it cause the man’s got his pride on the line too. More than likely though he’d cave and wrap you up in his giant body and pepper you with kisses.

Aye, I thought you didn’t like being all touchy feely *chuckles*

That was before you deprived me. I think that’s spousal abuse *kisses cheek*

One, we’re not married, Jae. And two, it's your fault for calling me clingy. *pinches his nose*

Ouch! See, more abuse. Gosh, I demand compensation or else Imma call my lawyers.

*rolls eyes* And compensation would that be?

*taps lips* this kind *cheeky grin*

*scoffs and smiles* You are ridiculous.

Ridiculously amazing *kisses your lips*

Young K:

LOVING IT. He would adore you being so kissy and affectionate cause one, he loves you, and two he loved you showering him with affection. He would just be lying on the couch writing some lyrics and you’d suddenly plop beside him and give him a kiss on a cheek before going on with your own business. A small, proud grin would spread on his face as he glance back you, debating whether to kiss you back or tease you….obviously he chose the latter. He’d ruffle your hair and joke about how he didn’t know he was dating a kissing monster. You’d just look up at him and flash him a grin before making a kissy face, telling him that it was too late to back out now.

Too late to back out if your scared, Brian~ *cooing*

Who’s Brian? Whoever the poor guy is, it looks like he’s stuck with such an adorable kissing monster *chuckles*

*Rolls eyes* yeah such an unfortunate guy *sarcasm* he gets stuck with these lips all to himself *makes kissy carp face*

*leans down to kiss you, but is immediately stopped by your hand*

Ah, these lips are reserved for Brian, remember? *giggles*

Well it just so happens that my names Brian as well. *Grins at your silliness*

Oh really?

Yep, now bring your adorable kissable lips over here *pecks your lips*

Sungjin:

Would be a grinning mess. He couldn’t help but smile everytime you’d nonchalantly kiss him on the lips every time the two of you met. It seemed very domestic like you two were a married couple, not that the two of you already didn’t act like one. He would always be in such a pleasant mood after you kiss him the maknaes would start to freak out. Earning them a glare from their Bob the Builder leader. With how elated he was from your affection and kisses, you can bet the other extreme occurs if he doesn’t get this TLC. He’d be a grumpy puppy, moping away and tuning his guitar for hours even if it was already tuned. The group would be perturbed by the now scary leader, but they knew exactly what to do to make their leader all bright and smiley again.

*dials phone* Hello? Y/N?

Hmm? Wonpilie? Hi! Whats up? Everything okay?

Uh not exactly….

Sungjin?

Sungjin.

Pass the phone to him *chuckles*

*passes the phone to Sungjin*

Sungjinnie~ Are you causing trouble for the group again?

Jagi! *mood automatically +100* How is your trip!?

*chuckles* Its good, its good. I heard that you’re missing me though.

I always miss you....I feel like I lost my daily dose of vitamins.

Wow, my kisses have been reduced to vitamins. *teases*

You know what I mean *scoffs, but smiles*

Well then let me give you your daily dose of vitamins *makes a kiss noise through the phone*

I guess that will do for now, but I expect the real thing when you get back. *chuckles*

Of course. *laughs* I have to go now. Tell the boys I miss them too and I’ll talk to you soon. Muah! *hangs up*

*Grins like a fools* Okay guys, let’s get practice started!!

*Jae whispers to Young K* Our Bob the Leader is whipped af.

Wonpil:

This precious little angel would be giggling and smiling at every brush of your lips, even if was as simple as a simple peck on the forehead. He would just immediately pull you into a hug and give you a kiss back. Just as you were a kissing addict he would be the same to you either more so or equal to you. You guys would be so cutesy and kissy that Jae would make gag noises every time he walked by the two of you. You would tease the giant elder by saying that he was just jealous, which would cause the elder to scoff asking why he would be jealous of Wonpil, which you would tease back saying that he was jealous of you. The elder would be immediately flustered and be like ‘You cray girl’ before rolling his eyes and going back to tuning his guitar. You and Wonpil would just giggle at how you managed to beat the sass meme king.

Nice! That’s my Jagi! *Grins and pecks your nose*

Of course! I’ve trained long and hard to beat Jae-hyung. *Chuckles*

That must have been so draining, Jagi

It’s okay cause I got all my energy from you *pecks him on the nose*

Then let me give you more energy *peppers your face with kisses*

*Young K, Sungjin, and Jae stare at you two deadpanned* I think I got a damn cavity…

Dowoon:

Awkward pup. Awkward pup times 1000. He would be so caught off guard by the sudden kisses no matter how long you two had been dating. You would find it so cute and endearing everytime jumped slightly at your pecks or even hold the spot where you kissed him. You remember one time he even dropped his drumstick because he was clutching his cheek in awe. Of course the hyung line would tease the lost little pup, but he paid them no mind. Were they getting kisses from the most beautiful girl in the world? No. So he won in the end. Though he might be as kissy as the other boys are he would definitely return your affection with cuddles. Everytime you kissed him on the cheek or lips he would pull you into a cuddle, letting out a low chuckle every time your hair tickled his nose. He would enjoy your warmth so much that the pup would even fall asleep.

DOWOON!

SHHHH! Sungjin-ah, Dowoon is sleeping *chuckles as you put your finger against your lips*

We have practice in 10 minutes and we need our drummer *chuckles and rolls his eyes*

Okay, okay, give me a sec...*Lightly shakes Dowoon* Dowoonie *shakes* Dowoonie *Shakes again*

Zzzzzzzz

Out like a rock like always *rolls eyes and heads towards the door* I’ll leave the alarm clock job to you, Y/N *chuckles*

Dowwwoooooonnnnn! *pokes his face* Gosh, am I dating a snorlax? *giggles* Ah! *Light bulb moment* *peppers his face with kisses*

Huh!? What!? *jolts awake*

Morning sleeping beauty *giggles*

Hi prince charming *grins*

I feel like something is a bit wrong with this fairytale *chuckles as you bopped his nose*

Hmmmm? Are we missing a witch cause I can go grab Sungjin hyu-

Oh God, Dowoonie, if you finish that sentence you might just be dead *chuckles*

Thanks for reading! Comments and Critiques are supper appreciated since I haven’t done these in a while XL

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I wonder was he like that at home or if someone taught him it was ok to talk to other women like that. He even talked crap about his sister once on the bus, but I thought she wayyyy prettier than me to get picked on.

But she handled him. She punched him or threatened to punch him if he did it again.

I was shocked at how protective he was of her too but yet would talk about her being fat too.

She wasn't as big as me, just slightly chubby in my opinion. Darius made me feel like I was the biggest girl at school, when there was obviously bigger chicks than me. But I guess I stood out. He thought I was mixed too....but he was Filipino and black.

And I was just....well black....I didn't have curly hair like the actual mixed girls there. I never really knew my natural hair, never got the chance too cause mom always made me get a perm. Cause it looked presentable.

I didn't start taking charge for my own hair until I noticed my hair started to get shorter and shorter and I was actually moisturizing it and wrapping it up at night. It scared me that what no matter what I did, it kept getting trimmed short because I had dead ends and I always wanted my hair to grow down to my behind like Princess Jasmine. She was so pretty to me at the time. Her eyes, her face, and her long black hair was just swishing. Plus she could wear skinny clothes, unlike me.

This was how I used to think back as the sheltered, goody two shoes everyone thought I was, while Darius's only goal seemed to me was to make middle school miserable for me, just because a fat, lightskinned girl liked him, but she wasn't as prettier or talked like all the other black girls in school either.

Him and alot people said I just sounded white. Or "you talk white" as some people put it. I grew up in a catholic school, kindergarten to 2nd grade....of course imma sound like that in a mixed cultured school...we only had one or two girls who were actually full on black and talked hood.

I guess I grew up in the suburbs and stayed to myself alot. I didn't really get to go over to friends houses alot either. Just my cousins and that's it.

I was by myself but I had alot of cartoon characters, dolls and toys that I played with by myself. Even watched movies with my grandma and my dad sometimes if he wasn't too busy. We would play games on the playstation, he bought us a karaoke machine and we had fun.

He tried to teach me how to ride a bike, but I was just too scared of falling and worrying about cars and stuff. He told me just to pedal, and don't worry. But I fell so many times we just kept the training wheels. And I felt safe in my barbie helmet and knee pads.

I started dressing the Bratz dolls and stuff when my first friend that was girl actually stayed in the neighborhood with me and she didn't make me feel like a burden. Our moms and dads even got along with each other, and we just did whatever she wanted us to do..she had the whole Bratz collection, movies, dollhouses, toycars (which I lovedddd), the house was nice and we had sleepovers every Thursday..

.until she moved cause her dad was in the army. It was sad, because she was actually a funny, sweet, nice girl. Her mom drove a black Nissan Infiniti, I remember that distinctly because I never seen that many people with that car and she made sure we didn't touch her car while plating outside.

Jerica. J...I'll keep her last name private. I still remember. The only girl I ever knew in 4th grade (she went to a different school with uniforms) with a Verizon phone where her parents let her watch cartoons on there. She loved Blu and Cheese from House of Imaginary Friends. She seemed sad if I wasn't able to come over on such a short notice.

She did something weird to the Bratz dolls tho....

I noticed she took off their clothes and made me hold one while she popped them together, like humping it, as if she knew what sex was like or just wondered about it. She had her own bathroom too. I think she was used to being by herself, and only let me in because I was nice to her and did what she liked or wanted to. I really wasn't against us being friends, her parents got along with mine, so I was cool.

Her dad even invited them to a family barbecue for her birthday and mom helped me pick out a new Bratz doll for her to have. She liked Yasmin the most. I did too. Sasha was 2nd, cause she was black and Jade, because she had eyes like me. I didn't like how most people praised Chloe more. I didn't think that back then about why they even made Bratz 4 different demographics. It just clicked at my school, that was how it was for me....except there was no real Puerto Rican, Mexican, Filipino, Italian, or Haitian involved in doll making back then.

I just thought all of them looked cute. Mom always bought me Sasha, so I didn't complain. That sounds bad....dang ky, why you had to put Sasha 2nd or 3rd....

I just wanted to be different so I didn't feel weird about buying a doll that's not my color. My parents judged me on that type of stuff. Like especially when I got into kpop or Asian culture. I like learning about different cultures that feel new to me because I've never been there and I never lived it.

But anyway, Jerica ended up writing me a letter to see how was I....I never got the chance to write her back because I had lost the envelope she sent with her address. It's been along time and I doubt she would remember me after moving so many times.

I just remembered I also met another girl named Lyric that had to move to Cuba because of her dad in the military too. She the only other neighborhood girl I rode the 2nd bus home with. But we weren't close.

I don't think she wanted to hang out like that, so I never asked. This was around the time I noticed certain people would talk to me at school, but never did anything or ask to hang out with me outside of school. So I sorta kept us at Associate level (talk in passing, not personal or deep stuff about families)

Same with Darius. He wasn't even a friend to me. He only asked me about test grades and who could get the better score on a math test. Or just talked shit. I never opened up to people I can't trust. We used to talk about our interests or what movie, TV show,, or video game we saw or both liked. Music too. I Bluetoothed him some R&B songs to his phone since he heard me play MaryMary and Robin Thicke. He liked some gospel songs since his mom played them at the house. He just didn't like to dance, cause he would get shy and not know how to move or even basic two step. Me I loved to dance, until I noticed it wasn't ok for a big girl to move like that because she was fat. It hurt hearing that, so I stopped dancing too. Unless I was home alone with my mp3 or what felt like home alone in my room or in my head.

So yea, Darius, he never got to know me. But I think I did from overhearing him talk out loud, and sneaky shit people would say he said about me. I believed it because lets just be frank, he always had something to say about me. But I did not talk to him or confront him about because I didn't want to get in trouble at school for fighting.

So I would just sneak jabs in, kick him at the bus stop cause we weren't at school yet, and either chase him away for talking about my fat. He seemed like he liked me chasing him until he got bored and told me to stop if I went too far.

He only saved my ass once from getting in trouble about the school teacher catching us upstairs in the computer lab without permission, but he lied and told her anyway that the actual computer teacher did give him and us permission to finish the assignment she gave us upstairs. He lied a pretty darn good one off the top of his head, while I was just stressed and said "uhhhhh?" In blank stare mode. I didn't know what to say.

Whenever I get in trouble like that or just freeze, I freeze. My whole body shutdowns and depending on what is said I either cry or walk away, taking my punishment and just leave.

I think Darius probably lied to his parents before, so I thought he was just cool for that. He said I owed him one after that.

I just didn't get it when nobody else was around, he had my back, but everywhere else he was jerk, a fake.

It felt like he had cheated me, at such a young age, who rarely had crushes on boys and focused mainly on just school work, I kept my mouth shut around certain people....especially if I knew they had a big mouth...i didn't tell them anything unless I wanted it to be told to them.

And that's when somebody took the heart I drew of Darius (with muscles cause I always wanted him to look less bony) out of my hands and he showed it to him....cause he knew I didn't want him to see it.

Darius took it, looked at it for a little while as he paced back and forth, came back to where I sat criss crossed applesauced, and crumbled it up. And threw it to my face in front of the whole gym class.

It was embarrassing, but hey, he didn't like me, so he started to get upset if people assumed the reason why he made fun of me so much was because he liked me. That's when he took a break from it, once the rumors died down.

It was a big school and even said to somebody, I overheard him say "oh, she would be cuter if she just lost weight."

What a jerk. I hated him.

Then if he was nice to me, I like him.

It was too complex, my standard of emotions for another guy. Anxious attachment and fear of rejection and abandonment. My worst fear. To be laughed at by a whole group of people you didn't know, but they knew something about you, because of this little punk...I hated him for it.

He asked me what shoe size I was: 11

And everyone else laughed about him cause he was making fun of my big feet. They thought it wasn't normal for girls to have big shoes and big feet. Him and his ignorant ass friends were the type to make fun of a woman for wearing boy shoes and not girly shoes. Like girls should be girls and dress like girls. Boys should be boys who dressed like boys.

The girls there called me tomboy even if I was to wear a big shirt and shorts. Like obviously I'm hiding my boobs and "manly legs" was the most unique comment I ever heard that I hated.

Like yup, I guess I was made fun of for looking too strong and having muscular, big legs compared to the bony ass boys at school. I was never challenged to a fair fight, so I guess she must've been scared to find out.

[blueoatmeal]

Science Gone Too Far (Brainstorm playlist) Analysis

Basically I’m going to ramble on about why I chose the songs I did. You should probably listen to the mix for this to make much sense.

MTMTE spoilers! (Seriously, don’t read any of this this unless you’ve read probably most of MTMTE. Unless you don’t mind spoilers.)

10/27/17

Okay I’m going to be honest, I saw somebody mention in a post that they imagined Brainstorm dancing in the lab to I Believe In a Thing Called Love and I was like “what song is that” and I listened to it and loved it and continued to listen to it for the next few weeks. I thought, no only is this song fantastic, it fits him. He’s so darn passionate, that guy, and he yearns like nobody’s business. He’s absolutely the kind of guy who’d sing about his desires. I mean ok maybe not out loud he’s like. Super secretive and doesn’t seem to trust a lot of people… he. he doesn’t trust anyone unreservedly, come to think of it, huh. I mean he had good reason to hide what he hid but like. still. huh. anyway if the whole secret thing wasn't a problem he’d totally sing slightly suggestive songs while his spark aches with longing.

Yours Truly, 2095: GOSH one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite albums ever (Time by ELO). How many times have I listened to this in car rides, with family; this song is sososososo close to my heart. Brainstorm is the singer and the robot girl is Perceptor and the lost love BS is trying to contact is Quark and I don’t think I have to explain it beyond that IT FITS SO WELL AAAH!! Also I bet several of you got a kick out of that one word which has such an odd connotation in the tf fandom (which I simultaneously find annoying and utterly hilarious). Anyway, look up the lyrics if you aren’t getting it, it literally. is so fitting. also very scifi and YO time travel eyyy

Weird Science is such a BANGER and heyyy science yeahhh!!! “From my heart and from my hands, why don’t people understand, my intentions,,” bruh, nobody understands why BS does what he does

My Freeze Ray. OK, firstly, science. ray gun. very brainstorm. stopping time, there you go, again very BS. stopping time for love, unrequited love, even, hohhoho. Brainstorm, man.

She Blinded Me With Science. science again! and love! there’s a theme here, see? anyway I’ve loved this song for AGES and its wild and wacky and I love it wholeheartedly and I think it fits brainstorm very well. Maybe even a lovestruck BS

This Too Shall Pass. This,,, is my go-to song for “your love is gone so get over it,” apparently. So, yes. Also just. a great song, and BS would have loved OKGO’s Rube Goldberg machine, and probably their other cool stuff as well tbh. Like he was hanging upside down in chains that one time. The aesthetic is similar

It Takes Love. the song is telling him to move on. “Let the light of another love to shine on you”

Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want, firstly, JRo loves Morrison, so larger thematic fit right there, I guess. anyway like. come on just listen to the lyrics; things haven’t been going all that great tbh for BS and he’s, he just wants this one thing to go right, please, everything else can be forfeit, even his life just, please…let me get what I want. ALSO the part, “make a good man turn bad..” the whole Decepticon thing, there was that

Science Gone Too Far aka Brainstorm’s entire career. also all the rumors that may not be entirely true but like. the truth is even weirder more often than not. so yeah, wild, out-of-control science.

Start Somewhere. kind of out of left field here but this is more between Nautica and BS. this would be before they made up and he apologized. I mean, full disclosure, I haven't even read that far, but yeah. also the gun thing, ..brainstorm has never fired a gun so. significant. metaphorical shots fired only, please. also its a good song??? its a good song. BS owns up to things he’s done.

21st Century Man. OK there’s a lot, the SUITCASE FIRSTLY, and time travel, and things not turning out the way you’d hoped, and being a sad person despite all the great things happening. another song from ELO’s Time (along with Yours Truly 2095 and Hold On Tight) which I love so much.

Got a Lot On My Head. BS is thinking about somebody, could be one of two people but regardless he’s one to obsess over someone he likes. I just had this on my ipod and it fit so.

Lightning Strikes. I had never heard this song until I was on a ride home one day and it came on the radio and I was like HOOOOO WHAT it’s very reminiscent of Back to the Future, more time travel eyy. I wrote down the lyrics while it was on and looked it up later and was like!!! yeah this is great!!

Left to My Own Devices. I saw it on the caption to a of BS edit and had to look it up, and absolutely loved the song. Apparently this is one of the unofficial mtmte soundtrack songs that JRo posted? I didn't know that until like two weeks ago and this track has been in this mix for literally years. Anyway I love it and yeah BS is not gonna conform to norms, why should he? “Left to my own devices” that line is like. boi if time and physics and crap didn’t hold me back I’d totally do my own thing all the time. Actually, screw time, Imma do what I want. But like in a chill way. Like yeah its not that big a deal just. just screw time. also like BS should never be left to his own devices bc have you seen what kinda stuff he invents when he’s under strict rules and supervision I MEAN. BRUH. also got that love angle going again here

Rules Don’t Stop. eyy the artist is We Are Scientists hey! also yeah BS totally doesn’t care about rules, not even the laws of science, physics, time. “Just draw another if you think you’ve crossed a line.” guy doesn’t,, follow rules much. Also I thought I’d just found this song ages ago but turns out that same person who did the other BS edit also did another one with this song and tumblr says I liked it so?? I probably saw that post and looked it up and then forgot where I’d seen it.

Lovers in My Head. Brainstorm really wants his love reciprocated. He’s like, please love me. Please. He longs so hard.

Time Traveler. its!!! more time travel!! and love!!! weird how those two go together. I was SO sure I’d found this song on my own, but I JUST found out AGAIN that that same person who did the other two BS edits ALSO did one with this song. Darnit I thought I was so clever having found these three songs and associated them with Brainstorm but turns out they beat me to the punch. Kudos to you, @berrytron! My memory messed up and I really did think I’d come up with these myself until LITERALLY today. So sorry for using them in my mix if you’re the first person to associate Rules Don’t Stop and Time Traveler with BS. They’re fantastic songs.

Hold on Tight FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND DON’T GIVE UP EVEN WHEN YOU'RE FEELING DOWN!!! BRAINSTORM IS THE EMBODIMENT OF THIS SONG HE GOES TO SUCH LENGTHS TO FULFILL HIS DREAMS DESPITE EVERYTHING IT’S SO INSPIRING. also mention of time like. just. just keeping with the theme here

Love Is Like Oxygen HOOOOOOOOOO BOYYYY hhhoohhh I love this song it makes me FEEL things AAAAAAAAAHHHH “love is like oxygen; you get too much you get too high, not enough and you’re gonna die~” I JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH I love it and it fits and I LOVE IT. also you can feel the melancholy. This is my favorite song in the mix. It’s such a good tune, man, I love it.

[dailychino]

"They can't comprehend. Or even come close to understanding him. I guess if I was borin' they would love me more. Guess if I was simple in the mind. Everything would be fine. Maybe if I was jerk to girls. Instead of being nice and speakin' kind words. Then maybe it would be OK to say then, I wasn't a good guy to begin with."

Something I've always struggled with, this thought that I was weird or strange in other people's perception. Later down the line, I find out I'm actually literally bi polar. People would always call me extra af. Or too emotional. Or too this or too that.

They arent wrong. I am all of those things. But that's apart of who I am. People don't see me as a whole. They pick and choose what they see.

I am not that easy. I have had way too much happen in my life to be that simple.

No one really GETS me like how I get me. Only I have gone through what I have gone through. No one understands the things that I've have to struggle through and things I've had to live with.

Bi Polar kid who grew up without parents, who grew up on the streets. Had a violent, neglectful, alcohol addicted family. Lived my whole youth, being scrappy and resourceful. Finding places to sleep, how to get free food.

Next thing, an army soldier who was left behind and forgotten by in the desert all alone as a brand new private in the army for 3 WHOLE DAYS without food or water. Going through a failed engagement. Treated like scum at work. Started heavily drinking, and becoming an alcohol fiend. This set presidence for the next 3 years.

Enforced over the deployment, alcoholism became a lifestyle not a choice. Feeling any type of way? Drink! Wanna celebrate? Drink! Got nothing to do after the gym? Drink!

Fast forward a couple months after the deployment. Was in failing relationship and I just got back from my mother's funeral (same day that I pulled her from life support)

And I get a call from my friends sister.. Michael just passed away. Seeing me fall apart drove the final wedge in my relationship with my at the time bae.

After dealing and mourning the loss of my mom, my best friend, and my lover. I found myself really lost. 2 weeks later, my company commander commits suicide on the rail road tracks, and I'm the usher for his memorial service. That night, I called everyone that I thought was important to me and thanked them for everything they had ever done for me. And I tried to kill myself.

I woke up. Unfortunately. In the hospital, as a catheter was being put into me. I was in the ER. And I was having seizures and really bad convulsions. After I was stabilized, I was sent to the Psych Ward or as I like to call it, the Loony Bin.

For a while after being discharged from the Psych Ward, I felt lost. I was really really lost. I was in the Intensive Outpatient Program, I was in Grief Group, I was in the Army Substance Abuse Program, I was in Alcoholics Anonymous. I was lost. I was taking all the right steps but it felt like I was on auto pilot and I wasn't really there. I was still lost.

Still kept drinking. I was in and out. I was being self destructive. I was being toxic. I was a mess. I was at a loss. I lost my mom. My bestfriend. My girl. Oh and my 2 PAID OFF CARS were totalled because of the hail storm. I was defeated. I tried to get everything I could to get it off my mind. I would go on dates. I would drink. I would have sex just so I could for a second just not think about the tragedies that befell me.. it became a pattern. I would feel really bad or I would feel really numb, like I couldnt feel a damn thing. And I would do some really twisted things just to feel something, anything.

Started experimenting with psychedelics. Started with a shroom trip. Then started doing acid monthly.. which quickly became weekly. Did this for a couple months.. until I started feeling again.

But back to the point. I don't think people dont understand me because I'm bipolar I think they don't understand me, cause they have never been through the things I've been thru, or never learned the things I had to learn. I mean yeah I'm sure being bi polar also plays a part, but I refuse to let bi polar define me as an individual. I am who I am, because of my past, my history, and I'm slowly but surely am making progress towards the person I want to be become.

I'm Chino. And this is who I am. Love me or hate me, because "I never gave a fuck about what niggas thought about me. I mean I did but like fuck it you know'm sayin"

I be that man on the moon, and imma do what I do, so do you.

Lyrics used:

-Kid Cudi, Man on the Moon.

[thefreshfinds]

MULABOY SKEE:

Running through the city with clever motives & a bucket of cash — MULABOY SKEE puts his prominence on the map.

In a brief summary, the key to the emcee’s success is staying on his P’s & Q’s. Because he stacks up his bread, MULABOY SKEE is able to enjoy the finer things in life. Instead of boasting, MULABOY SKEE counts his blessings simply because he knows what it’s like to start from scratch (Hollow Man).

Sonically, MULABOY SKEE has an commanding rap delivery. You can really hear that he’s about his business from the way he carries his lyrics from the beginning to end. “Damn” is MULABOY SKEE’s most reflective track simply because it screams at everyone to wake up. He’s tired of everyone being artificial and just capping for distractions like the gram. In fact, he'd respect certain people more if they got it how they live. Beat wise, MULABOY SKEE lets the drums roll! Coupled up with the base, each song goes off in the best way! Still, MULABOY SKEE’s biggest strength in music is his gangsta lean towards thinking wisely & passing it along.

If anyone thinks that dreams are unattainable, look no further. MULABOY SKEE is living proof that it can happen with one rhyme at a time.

When you hear him mention "MULABOY" just know it refers to where he comes from. At most, he comes from Newark, NJ but shouts out Essex County. "If you can make it in Newark you can make it any where. Just rich in history & culture you know some of the greatest ever to do it come from here so it just inspires me to hopefully one day be mentioned in the same breathe."

In his high school years, he was apart of a rap group referred as "Money Mafia" then as time passed, the name transitioned to "MULA GANG". From there, others would call them the MULA Boys. "Skee" just so happened to fall right in line. Since MULABOY SKEE was young, he was in love with music. Aside from having a mother who was apart of a R&B group, he also had a father who loved to blast #1 hits from his car stereo. But the most important stressor of his commitment to the game stems from freestyling, " I remember I was in the 9th grade & I guess my mans told me to come to his crib.” MULABOY SKEE goes on to say "He showed me his little studio set up & I made my first track in his bedroom." Since then, he's been putting the pen to the pad 24/7.

At the crack of dawn, MULABOY SKEE keeps in mind that it’s still time on the clock to win the game. Hes got to do it for his family, most importantly his dead ones. "Every time I step out the door I’m setting myself up for an opportunity to get some money. When I get out the bed, I think of it as another day I can go to the studio & exercise my talents." MULABOY SKEE adds.

In his opinion, his biggest strength in music is constructing many flows & he rap about any kind of content. Likewise MULABOY SKEE's message is to motivate kids or others that are in a smiliar position as he long ago. "I want to speak to the kids who don’t know what they will become or where life would take them but they have that little itch in the back of their minds telling them to do this. That itch is that dream you know that one that haunts you. I make my music for them people I want them to follow their gut you know and chase that dream & not to ignore it because I know it can be torture. I also make music to try to paint the picture of what it was like for me growing up in The Bricks . If you turn my music on & you feel like you grew up with me on my block, I did my job in my eyes." To date MULABOY SKEE's illest verse comes from an unreleased song, (which has a title for keeps). The verse goes "I live my life/Up & down/This ave all alone/No place to call a home /Fuck it, imma build my own/All I had was a phone & a quarter zone/Me & my bros /Dreaming bout the days/When we get on them struggle nights was cold, heat the crib up/With the stove/No problem getting hoes/We always had the fresh clothes/You don’t grind, don’t eat that’s what the struggle taught me/And all money ain’t good money/What my mother taught me truthfully the grind/Never been no trouble for me/Kicking back enjoying, everything my hustle brought me/What we lost to get to this far that’s another story /But I can tell you in fact that my souls intact/I’m like that rose in the concrete that growed through the cracks/Get this shit off my chest /I got this shit on my back /I gotta kill you niggas they ain’t cutting no slack /Wonder when you look me in my eyes what you seeing /Can you tell it was a time when a nigga felt defeated /Victim to my own pride/Battling these demons/Militant  exterior but inside was screaming/Truthfully this shit deeper then you could ever know/A nigga dealing with real shit that could never show/If we dont break the cycle how could we ever grow?/Yea I know guess it’s whatever though." Equally important, MULABOY SKEE would change how rappers sound the same in the current rap era. Even though hes knowledgeable on how the industry works, he wishes for a breakthrough. In his words, he'd rather hear rappers actually speak about what's really on than flexing. If given the opportunity, he would collab with SZA. Still, everyone in New Jersey is extremely talented. "I do believe that Jersey  supports Jersey. But then again I also think that we need to step it up just a little you now. Sometimes we sit and watch our own go get hot in other states & places until we show that full support & that’s got to change ASAP. If everybody else do it we can too." says MULABOY SKEE. For any upcoming artist, MULABOY SKEE says to own your work, stay true to yourself & to ignore the doubters. "We are moving into a new day and time and that music & art is going to only become more & more valuable. The music industry was never built to favor the artist & people have been eating off the creatives for years." The album N.I.G (Now I Get It) is coming soon and it’s will be very personal. Although you're on the grind, take some time to listen to MULABOY SKEE. He just might take you consciouslessly overseas & make you discover something way different.

By: Natalee Gilbert

LINK(s):

1. Instagram: @mulaboyskee

2. Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/mulaboyskee

3. Spotify: Search "MulaBoy Skee"

[keybangs]

Getting to Know SHINee World

tagged by @jinkisbelly tanks my sami sami~~~

01: How did you get into SHINee? 

oh geez, ok ummmm probably like four or five years ago? I honestly dont remember. So in my city i was a totaly loner when it came to kpop, only into artists like Rain and Big Bang and 2ne1. one day (first day of college) I made friends with this girl i recognized from orientation and when she found out i liked and knew some kpop artists she was like OMFG YOU KNOW KPOP and she was all I HAVE A HARD DRIVE WITH 274069Q5824 ARTISTS LET ME EDUMACATE YOU and i was like yeah cool. so she gave me like ALL of shinee’s stuff, but i was more into all the super junior stuff she gave me. like i would listen to it when it came on shuffle, but i didnt really get into them until I saw the Everybody mv and Sherlock. then i was like the typical fool OMG THEY HAVE A GIRL IN THIER GROUP??? that quickly passed, thanks to God xD but it got me hooked and here we are LOL

 02: Your favorite member in SHINee is?

....... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA idk that one guy kimbam or whatever 

03: Bias wrecker anyone?

 Jinki ......but sometimes taemin when the moon is full........and also jjong when the tide is low ming is my baby dont look at me that way THREE OUTTA FIVE AINT BAD or would that be four outta five. nah, that would be an insult to kibum nvm MOVING ON

04: Your favorite SHINee OTP (if you have one) 

ummmmmmm wow this is awkward. i mean ok like onkey are my old men,  but i just love minkey’s dynamic? DONT QUOTE ME ON THIS 

05: Is there a SHINee ship you don’t like?

*looks into the camera like im on the Office* i mean we dont have all day ........okay, see the deal is, i dont dislike any ships. i dislike what fandom has done to many ships. 

06: The SHINee member you think is most easily shipped

idk i mean im not really a big shipper. the others just happened ok lmao 

07: Your favorite Korean song by SHINee

easily has to be Hello. it just gives me light yellow feels if that makes sense. like summer walks and ice cream carts 

08: Your favorite Japanese song by SHINee

KLJDFBGPAIUWEAHFDAZZLINGGIRLKZHLFBSJLJKSDS you can quote me on that i mean thats basically how i react to that song so

09: Favorite album

deffinitely Odd. it reminds me of summers in California 

10: Your favorite live performance

Eeek, i mean i dont really watch many live performances :3333 but shinee is bomb as hell like the live performances that stick out in my mind are Symptoms and Picasso? but i mean who are we kidding. the boys work

11: First SHINee MV you saw

I cant remember which was the first but my earliest memory was Sherlock so imma say that lol 

12: Your first impression of SHINee

Balady songs I wasnt really into. tbh a lot of shinee’s style grew on me. i wasnt really into them at first at all

13: Is there a SHINee member that recently impressed you?

ok, it’s not because im biased guys i fucking swear, but kibum in drinking solo for sure. when i heard he was in a drama i was honestly worried. theater people are often too, theatrical (sorry for the redundancy) for screen acting, but he was like a fish to water. i was blown away honestly. he’s someone that approaches every task with a fresh mind to do his best and it’s honestly inspiring to me. 

14: The SHINee member you think has changed the most over the years

hmmmm...am i allowed to have two? imma have two....first taemin because it’s the most obvious i guess. he was the awkward kid that everyone thought would be the lead dancer forever and nothing more. now the kid’s had multiple solos and exhibits a confidence that only comes from having the influence of four strong men in his life to steer him right.....and second, minho, in my opinion. for so long he was stuck in the persona that SM forced on him, but in recent years he has shown more of his authentic self. even if it’s just the face he smiles more and his laughs are boisterous and unrestrained. we see a more authentic person off AND on stage who is sweet and tender (sounds like im talking about food lol oops) and unafraid of his true self and that’s pretty fucking awesome. 

15: The SHINee member you think has changed the least

ummm, well, and this is NOT  a bad thing to me, but I think Jinki. he’s always been a stable force within the group, and maybe he has changed personally in his private life, but the same strong leader is still present for all the members whenever they need him. even if he is too modest at times and feels lacking. 

16: Your favorite SHINee MV

this question seems out of place :/ ummmmm still Hello lol xD i have the mv and when it comes on shuffle i literally have to drop what im doing to watch it lol

17: Your favorite SHINee lyric

ring ding dong ring ding dong ring dingy ding dingy ding ding ding IM NOT EVEN KIDDING it always makes me smile, and RDD was the first kpop song my mom heard and she loved it immediately and said it was so cute that I had that part as my ring tone for like a year lmao 

18: The SHINee member you think has the best face

*is once again looking into the camera like on the Office*

19: The SHINee member you think has the best body

*WAILS IN PAIN* jinki 

20: The SHINee member you think has the best personality

IM STEALING SAMIS ANSWER shinee 

21: A SHINee picture that makes you smile

IM BIASED OK but i mean they all look so chill and etherial also ok 

22: A SHINee picture that makes you nostalgic idk i couldnt think of one tbh :3 

23: Your favorite quote by someone in SHINee

“I hit things when im scared” -kim kibum im sorry im tired and thats the first that came to mind and apparently he said it so there

24: A picture of your bias with someone else you like in another group

kibum and jeonghan buT ALSO DAMN BABE DID I MISS THIS  ONE KIMBAM LOOKS FINE AS HELL i mean when does he not BUT 

25: Have you seen SHINee live?

NO DAMMIT I HAVE NOT ;-; but i was fortunate enough to see Jjong at Suwon Super Concert when i was in Korea during She Is era THE COTTON CANDY PINK YALL omggggg good times ;-;

26: Do you have a favorite variety show moment?

I dont really watch variety shows :3 um but, that one Chinese one where they had to play that game that was like red light green light but with food xD and taemin inhales that orange and jinki gives zero fucks and kibum’s precious head shake as he has mayonnaise on the corner of his mouth and i just yeah wow 

  27: How would you describe SHINee in three words?

family, talent, real 

28: Which SHINee video would you show to someone who has never heard of them before?

Sherlock, because it’s honestly one of my favorite kpop dances of all time. i love the technicality and precision.

 29. Is there a memory in connection to SHINee that you will always treasure?

wow, i think just meeting the amazing people i have thorugh them. i literally have friends all over the country, and world thanks to them. it’s not necessarily a memory, but im definitely grateful. 

30: If you could tell SHINee anything you wanted…what would that be?

first, i would have to thank them for the amazing work they do. they travel across the world at the drop of a hat with little to no rest and still perform for us like it’s the only thing in the world they could want. I would take them each aside and tell them the amazing qualities, talent and personality, about them i love and admire. i would tell them that their youth and vibrancy reminds me to be young and that it’s ok to free myself sometimes from the shit that brings me down in life. im not one to say that a band “saved” my life, but i would be sure as hell to tell them it feels like they’re the only thing keeping me sane sometimes. each one of them, bias or not, inspires me to be more than i am and that’s really fucking cool and i hope they can feel my vibes even if i never get that chance to meet them.  

well that took me nearly an hour and a half thanks sami im exhausted now omfg ㅎ_ㅎ ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ ok im ok ANYWAYS 

let’s tag EVERYONE to do this hell post and take hours out of thier life to talk about these dorks. gabby out