#guess the ships and you win a prize lmao

[hungriestheidi]

tagged by the scrumptious @speciallivery and the grand @aspenicus-is-learning

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous and tag as many people as you have WIPs. People send an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then you post a snippet or tell them something about it!

the wip folder is a nightmare but hey, it's alive!

deep water oscarmark

boys from the south

fem516!

female homoerotic friendship galore

gone gone / thank you

melk

house final dot jpeg

pull the pin

the undone and the divine

tobacco and maxcar

ask me anything, i love yapping

tagging: @piastriachios @duquesademiel @your-littlesecret @wolfiemcwolferson @partygirlvettel :D

[gnomewithalaptop]

Transcendence AU Dash Simulator GO!!!

31 notes

🌟 lesbianstellaconifer Follow

okay but actually block me if you ship mizcor -- 'hurr durr but we age stella up' -- SHUT UPPP she's literally a minor and alcor's canonically over a million years old so how about you stop being a freak

🎩 woodsmans-left-nipple Follow

Babe I hate to break this to you but Mizcor's literally one of the most famous relationships in all of post-transcendental literature

🌟 lesbianstellaconifer Follow

I could not have more obviously been talking about Mizar the Magnificent but you know what? Yeah classic Mizcor supporters can fuck off too actually.

Everybody likes to whip out Twin Souls like some kind of gotcha but have you even actually read it??? Like it's literally supporting demon worship and pedophilia -- both of which are EXTREMELY ILLEGAL btw. So yeah if I see any of my followers reblogging that shit I'm reporting you to the Occult Defense Agency idc if we're mutuals

🐟 demonologyturnedmegay Follow

*looks at my Alcorian Literature PhD* guess we better stock up on prison shivs buddy

🍃 haveyouseenmylibrary Follow

okay I'm sorry but

and Mizar the Magnificent isn't????

5k notes

📷 nature-pics-daily

Los Angeles 🏝️

#sunken city of los angeles #new california #travel #ocean #photography #lmao i almost got eaten by a kelpie trying to take this pic pls reblog it

98 notes

🧁 definitely-mizar Follow

Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that The Scepter of Vanquished Souls, the newest book in the Wanderlust Trilogy, is now available for pre order on Glamazon!

Purchasers of the hard-cover edition will also receive never-before-seen content, including a deleted scene between Princess Samia and the Shadow King!

🤷‍♂️ not-not-ian-beale Follow

Boosting because I honestly cannot recommend this book enough. Truly one of Mira's best (and I'm not just saying that because she married me!)

25k notes

⚠️ alv Follow

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You are the 6 billionth user to log into Jumblr today!! This means you are eligible to win a FREE WACBOOK PRO!!!! Click here to claim your prize and win BIG BIG REWARDS!!

#twin souls #mizar #alcor #mizcor #twin souls: reawakened #twin souls: breaking circles #twin souls: newest moon #twinner #twincon3015 #not a scam

Based on your likes!

0 notes

🌞 azarath-metrion-zinthirst Follow

So. I had a day.

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

Okay, but consider

🌞 azarath-metrion-zinthirst Follow

I don't remember my older brother's wedding

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

A small price to pay for no middle school trauma

🐧 selkiebael Follow

Okay so I just read the url and--

Asfdksfjk go off you funky lil intern

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

I'm actually the senior librarian. But thanks!

🐈 alcorphabetical Follow

Posts that have 10k notes. To me

15k notes

🔮 demonoftheday Follow

Today's demon of the day is Nxlar the Antithetical! Responsible for the Florida Springs Massacre of 3007, the body count for this purveyor of madness is estimated to be over 400 (source).

🐸 that-one-half-elf-bitch

I could fix her

41 notes

🍑 lookingformygnomequeen Follow

literally screaming crying throwing up rn I've turned off 'Based on your likes' like eight times @staff can't you just get rid of him already

2.5k notes

🎤 rosaslittleredboots Follow

#i accidentally set my alchemy textbook on fire today and i don't even care AAAAAA this is going to be amazing #northwest mansion mystery #pacifica northwest #rosa darling #im about to be so insufferable about this just you wait

616 notes

👹 sexiestdemon3015bracket Follow

🐸 that-one-half-elf-bitch

Nxlar SWEEEEEP!!!

#if you love me at all you'll vote for my lady love #LISTEN i could bring her to the light i nkow i could

37 notes

👻 sweetthingsaremadeofdeeznuts

Lmao so Nxlar the Antithetical totally turned my apartment complex into a pile of sentient sludge yesterday. I'm fine -- I was at work when it all went down, but uh... yeah, my situation obviously just became super not-great. I hate to ask, but I don't get paid til the 15th, so if some of y'all could float me some cash just so I can get a motel room for a couple nights, I'll fr owe you a life debt

Goal: 0/250

FundFriend

LenMo

#fuck demons fr #like seriously what'd i ever do to them 😭😭😭 #mutual aid #pls boost #don't tag as donation

17 notes

🏳️‍⚧️ gliesssse Follow

Important PSA

So idk if y'all have been reading the news lately, but the alcor virus has been making the rounds on the interwebs again. I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but PLEASE don't click any random links rn, ESPECIALLY if they're tagged with twin souls.

I know we twinners love to joke about it, but the alcor virus is legitimately dangerous and has been known to seriously ruin people's lives. Idk. Just like be smart and practice basic caution I guess? Jumblr's pretty much dead these days, so he might skip over us, but it's always better to be safe than sorry

⚠️ alv Follow

This is a good point! It is always better to be safe than sorry! That's why if you're smart, you'll click here for a list of ways to virus-proof your computer. Stay safe out there everybody!

Based on your likes!

4k notes

🌲 discogirl99 Follow

Anyone else just randomly crave connective tissue sometimes

🧁 sparkle-glitter-sideblog

no actually i think that might just be a you thing

#also i heard screaming on the other line when i called you earlier there better not be a mess when i get home #beloved demon brother tag

2 notes

👑 sameeya

Okay guys I might be crazy but what if the Shadow King was actually telling the truth when he said Princess Samia's brother is still alive??? Like, if you think about it, there's a tonnnn of foreshadowing in Crown of Ghosts and the author tweeted that there was gonna be a surprise twist in the new book sooo 👀👀

#i've connected the dots -- YOU DIDN'T CONNECT SHIT -- i've connected them #wanderlust trilogy #mira ramachandran #crown of ghosts #scepter of vanquished souls #princess samia #samia of cleves #shadow king #ahmed of cleves #bookblr

25 notes

🪨 professionalnatural-deactivated30141227

Reminder that you are beautiful exactly as you are and there are thousands who would sell their souls to imitate what you do naturally <3

👠 mizarsfrillypetticoat Follow

I actually really needed this today 💗

🦇 plsbytemevladdyzaddy Follow

Yo quit reblogging this op is a blatant human supremacist

🪨 professionalnatural-deactivated30141227

And? No one cares lmao

⚠️ alv Follow

Enjoy deactivation. Lmao.

🪓 wenda-was-a-lesbian-confirmed Follow

🕵🏻‍♂️ alcor-in-the-tardis Follow

#I sent screenshots of that one centaur post to her boss too #give you two guesses what species his wife is (tags by @alv)

Holy shit. Am I actually rooting for the alcor virus rn?

🍄 warioxreader Follow

maybe the real virus was the friends we made along the way <3

⚠️ alv Follow

No, the real virus is me. Don't take credit for my accomplishments.

🐲 retiredbus Follow

Heritage post

62k notes

🐔 old-friends-senior-griffin-sanctuary Follow

I just want to get dicked down again =/

[thlayli-ra]

ok this is pure self indulgence but carmelo hayes and la knight. something about melo following knight around basically going “pick me. choose me”. somewhere along the way this changes from “fight me” to just a big play for knight’s attention. idk i just have the shipping goggles on PERMANENTLY for knight so anybody he ever interacts with is fair game in my mind lmao

Any excuse to share this lovely photo, right? *happy sigh*

What I like about the Knight/Hayes mini-feud is how Knight is looking into an obnoxious little mirror. Melo is Knight two years ago, when, after his success in NXT, he was promoted to the main roster only to find himself at the bottom of the pile. He had to scratch that way back up the pecking order - more so than most, when you consider the whole *groan* Max Dupri thing!

Knight was never meant to succeed. He was on the chopping block multiple times. Every step up the mountain he's made has been a hard-fought battle, a struggle against the odds. But he's made it! With his natural charisma, solid in-ring work and infectious promos, Knight clawed his way into the spotlight and into the hearts of the fans. Even making it as far as the main event scene vying for the biggest prize in the game, the Undisputed WWE Championship.

Everybody thought he was a flash in the pan. Everybody thought he was a silly gimmick that had gone viral and would be as easily forgotten. But he's proven them all wrong. He's proven his worth and finally cemented his place on the main roster.

However... he has nothing to show for it. No gold, no major victories. A Slim-Jim battle royale, a win over AJ Styles at Wrestlemania, a close-call against Roman Reigns - that's about it! So now that's he's earned his place, Knight is ready to start building his legacy.

The last thing he wants is a mouthy up-start following him around and getting in his face. But this is the other side of the coin for Knight's success. When you're climbing to the top, there's always going to be someone younger and hungrier coming right up behind you. Some are even happy enough to put you down and use your body as a stepping stone to get to the next level.

Melo has ambition and he's set his sights on the pinnacle. Knight has a strong reputation and can help him build his own. But his chosen opponent is gunning for Logan Paul and his US Championship so Melo has to use craftier tactics; taunt his rival and get under his skin in order to goad him into a match. Knight is certainly proud enough to fall for it - and has done already - but how far will it go? Will we end up seeing these two facing each other for the US title in the future? Guess we'll have to wait and see!

[gregoftom]

me pinching my brow. i think it's funny when people say that tom isn't gonna hack being ceo when he was literally the chairman of atn for years and helped keep it alive when they considered axing it repeatedly in show. like obviously there were other factors of course but like. the fact that it was tom's baby and tom is extremely competent and a very hard worker isn't a coincidence. atn survived right until the end and like yeah idk if it'll survive post s4 considering matsson has the actual final say in everything but who knows considering tom's right there. i think people forget that tom is literally a workaholic in some regards and yeah stress is bad for you but he like. deals with it. all the time. maybe not well every time but who does. acting like he didn't win because he's going to die in the near future is just wrong lmao. plus he literally watched someone fucking die in front of him and had to deal with it the entirety of season 4 like, he wouldn't be struggling with his position etc if he didn't have to deal with that trauma alone. so.

also did yall forget he literally has greg or what. his goals and motives changed and that was very clear come season 4. like not even from a shipping perspective, even if we wanted to say platonically [lol] he wanted to keep greg close by that's still like. what happened. and in the end he got to. like greg was happily by his side and tom's expression alone like, has he ever looked that relieved, that happy in the entire show's run? [maybe like once or twice but only with greg lol] so if we look at it from that way, like, did tom reach his goal and get what he wanted? did he "win" the "prize"? yeah he did! because it was greg! and greg was with him at the end! his goals and motives changed or i guess evolved you could say. i mean greg technically is part of the roy family, no? plus there's all the connections of greg + shiv so. yeah. i just find it really Weird that ppl keep saying tom didn't really win when like. he literally actually did?

[ghstfacr]

♥ dean and jules!

ship questionnaire .

𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 ? the winchester brothers had the misfortune ( or fortune depending how you look at it ) of running into the ghostfacers while working the same case 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 ? unclear , jules has had a crush on him since she first heard of the winchesters but the genuine romantic attachment was kind of sudden for both of them 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 ? not even a little LMFAO 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 ? i mean they both initiated all over each other but i guess jules technically made the first move 😭 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 “ 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ” 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 ? jules probably 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚓𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚢 ? dean even though she thinks it should be so clear to him that HE is the prize here 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 ? both of them are pretty protective but probably dean 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 ? jules bc she takes pictures of everything lol 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 ? jules 100% 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚞𝚙 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 ? dean and she pretends to hate it but it secretly makes her day every single time 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 ? middle of the night pancakes and rough sex LMAO 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 ? literally everything next question 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚘��𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 , 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 ? dean gets angry more often but jules is generally equipped with either a reality check or a blowjob to get him out of his head 🤷‍♀️ 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝙿𝙳𝙰 ? unfortunately for everyone around them , yeah 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚗 / 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 ? jules is the little spoon always ( she loves the job and she LOVES getting to do this work with him but now that she's seeing / hunting real shit and seeing things she'd never imagined on the bullshit ghostfacer cases , she genuinely can't sleep anymore unless she's wrapped in his arms ) 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚞𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 ? jules is more needy / willing to ask for it but they both just want to be touching each other as much as possible ( poor sam lmao ) 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚜 ? DEAN she may fall asleep in his arms but she wakes up on the edge of the bed with a corner of the blanket over her waist half the time 𝚠𝚑𝚘’𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚡 ? depends on the day lmao 𝚠𝚑𝚘’𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚎𝚜𝚝 ? dean but honestly not by very much 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚖 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚡 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 ? 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 ? she hates to admit it but dean is so clearly the top at least 99.95% of the time 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 ? they both like receiving but they both LOVE giving and it shows 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗�� ? ask the several all night noise complaints they've started collecting ( half of which are just sam complaining out loud ) 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 ? they both can be up as early as they need to be but they're also both grouchy as fuck until they've had caffeine 𝚍𝚘 𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚔 ? dean does , she only does if it's with him 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 , 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 ? okay so we haven't discussed the actual wedding night drunken details yet but in my head i feel like they were at a casino or something and jules was like ❝ if you win this hand i'll marry you right now ❞ and then he did and she was like i mean i said i would , so . . . 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 ? one with an elvis impersonator , a tacky tiara veil , and an ungodly amount of whiskey 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 ? i imagine sam wasn't thrilled at the beginning to know dean was shacking up with a ghostfacer but she's leagues more tolerable than the rest of the crew , so nowadays . . . no ? 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊��𝚢 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚜 ? no but i can see it happening some day either by accident or just them wanting to get off the road before it's too late to do the whole family thing 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚝𝚜 ? yeah his name is sam :/ ( jk same answer as above )

[pizza-games-and-more]

Pizza Tower: The Series Episode Concept

Title: "You Cruise You Lose"

Season: 4

Summary: The cast go on a cruise vacation! Most of the cast have mixed feelings on this, but it was a free vacation offer so they figured why not. Enjoy the cast getting into the crazy situations only a cruise can provide, with plenty of cameo appearances from other Pizza Tower OCs and AUs!

Notes: Thanks to some encouragement I was inspired to post this! Thank you so much for not finding this Author Appeal idea too cringeworthy!

As everyone boards the ship, Vigi is notably nervous but decies to go along anyway because he wants to attempt to conquer his aquaphobia. (spoiler: he makes a comically small smidgen of progress)

After everyone heads on the ship and finds their rooms, the fun begins. The Noisecouple immediatey head to the pool and proceed to splash and bother everyone.

Peppino decides to hit up the mini-golf course, having developed a taste for the sport thanks to a certain Greaseball. Mr. Stick and Fake Peppino follow despite knowing nothing about golf, mini or otherwise.

Vigi heads to the side of the ship, trying to safely expose himself to the ocean to build up a tolerance to it. That backfires when Pepperman almost accidentally knocks him off the edge and Maria has to grab him just in time.

As Maria and Pepperman are arguing (they're basically Vitriolic Best Buds at this point lmao), Clove leads Vigi into a nice cafe and library area to calm him down as he himself took shelter in there from the more crowded areas. The two have a bit of a wholesome bonding moment as a result.

Gustavo and a comically disguised Brick (no pets allowed) hit up the arcade and end up winning so many prizes they struggle to take them back to their room.

The gang meet up for dinner at the buffet. Peppino surprisingly shugs off the low-quality buffet pizza, since it's oddly part of the charm of the vacation experience. Plus he had worst things to worry about, namely losing at mini-golf to beginners.

Maria coerces Pepperman into apologising to Vigi, who accepts his apology while discussing the books he'd just read with Clove. This piques Maria's curiosity and they tell her about the library cafe.

The next day, Clove, Maria and Vigi have ended up forming a book club at the library cafe. However, they quickly find out that Maria is... very opinionated when it comes to literary depictions of secret agent work, much to Clove and Vigi's comical horror.

Peppino and Noisette decide to try out the water slide. While Noisette ends up going down normally (albeit in a very silly fashion), Peppino... kind of overdoes it and ends up sent flying off the boat and needs to rush back to climb to the top.

The Noise and Pepperman head to a comedy show and proceed to ruin it with their heckling. Which prompts them to get kicked out of the theater.

And Gustavo and Brick head to the casino and end up winning a LOT of money at the slots. How the hell these two get so lucky is anyone's guess, but they celebrate by treating everyone to lunch on the shore trip soon after.

Too bad everyone else is too exhausted from everything that happened that day (except Noisette) and Mr. Stick has Fake Peppino stuck to him from when he tried to go swimming in the pool.

Once all that is over, they head back to the boat and things go relatively normally.

The next day as the ship heads back, it starts storming.

Everyone is cooped up inside while the storm goes on. Most are annoyed. Vigi is terrified. But then Pepperman of all people saves the day by suggesting to head to the indoor sports hall for a game of basketball.

They end up having so much chaotic fun doing so that they almost miss the fact that the storm cleared up and the ship just got back home.

A surprisingly wholesome end to a chaotic episode. Sorry if it turned out bad I just really wanted to write it.

[casketvamps]

hate trying to find ship content of characters who hate each other and it's always "enemies to lovers!" or "they secretly like each other!" or "villain redemption arc via the power of love!" WRONG i want zero romance zero tender emotions all i want is violence biting mauling fighting stabbing killing except it's horny while also being angry. i want to see them trying to drown each other not picking flowers or whatever

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

💥 I feel like this is a loaded question considering canon right now lmao

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Oh it is loaded as fuck but I already know the answer and it's the one thing that I think could've changed the entire trajectory of The Mandalorian:

Don't reunite Din and Grogu in Boba Fett's fucking show.

The decision to do so because Disney was such chickenshits and Favs didn't want to ruin the successful formula of the first two seasons did, in my not so humble opinion, so much damage to both Din and Grogu as well as the future of the show.

Boba Fett lost the spotlight to them. We spent 1.5 episodes on them and where the fuck was Boba the entire time? Standing in the background in silence for like 10 seconds in one of those episodes. Personally, if you decide your season/show has less than 12 episodes, you have to make them count. And while I appreciate all the Manda-lore in the 5th episode, it should've been slotted into Season 3 of The Mandalorian where that lore actually fucking mattered.

(don't even get me started on how they handled Cobb Vanth and Cad Bane omigod he truly was the precursor to how they wrote Gideon in Season 3 jfc)

Back when I thought The Mandalorian was Din Djarin, I wanted to see him develop as a character without Grogu. What is he like now that his quest is over and he's lost everything except for this stupid Darksaber? How does he cope without Grogu? How does he grow, or does he devolve without Grogu at his side? Episodes 5 and 6 baffled me but the decision to reunite with Grogu in episode 7 felt so fucking wrong. Can you not trust your characters and your audience, Favreau?

Hearing about Grogu's "arc" in Season 3, he really should not have come back in Boba Fett's fucking show. I think he should've spent more time off-screen or in short scenes with Luke and Artoo on Ossus. It's probably the Dinluker in me but I'd have loved to see Luke try to reach out to Din about Grogu, either about his progress or his desire to return to his father.

The decision to have them reunite in Boba Fett's fucking show so that they'd be together at the start of Season 3 just tells me that Favloni wants to play it super safe by not letting Din and Grogu grow as characters separately and then together as a family unit, and it tells me Disney/Lucasfilm is buckling down on "we want to MCU-fy the 'Mandoverse'" and "money, money, money". I get that they're trying to recoup the cost of buying the franchise and trying to make up for their losses with D+, but like, haven't you already done enough fucking damage with the Sequel Trilogy? Are we really doing this again?

Then again, I got fooled twice so I guess I'm the fool. Thank god that Dinluke remains such an insanely compelling ship. This ship is just so good for my soul, Anon.

Oh god I'm so sorry for the rant. I'm sticking a few extra tags on this post so that people can filter this post out if they want to.

Play ask games, win ask prizes!

[mamamittens]

OH SHIT 100 (101) followers, how tf did that happen???

Well, I guess this is cause to celebrate then, isn't it?

How shall I commemorate this occasion, you ask?

A raffle naturally

3 winners shall be selected! The rules may sound familiar, but bear with me.

One like is one ticket!

One reblog is one ticket!

You must be following to qualify!

So a max of 2 tickets per person!

You cannot win twice (sorry).

Now what's the prize?

A choice between artwork or an undetermined amount of writing for a prompt of your choosing (I tend to go between 1-3K, so it's not like it'll be super short lmao). If you ask for NSFW of either, you must have your age (+18) on your bio. If it is artwork well... I don't post that on here lol, so I'll send you the link to the posted work when it's finished. Or just a copy, idk yet.

Now, remember, I don't do irl people shipping content. Noncon. And a small selection of kinks. Oh! Or super sad content cause it bums me out and I don't want to be a sad bean for days on end. But we can hash that out in the DMS so don't be afraid to ask or be specific!

For artwork, I try to limit to no more than 3 people in one picture. If it's jewelry I'll gladly do a set, but don't expect a massive collection because I fit it all on one page.

How long will I run this?

Well, a week!

Good luck guys!

I'll dm the winners when I run the raffle after announcing it's close! So keep that in mind if you have your DMS closed, I can't talk to you unless we happen to know each other on another platform!

[kurokoros]

spider lily | part one

Rated: M (violence, language, etc)

Words: 7K

Pairing: kuroo x fem!reader/oc?

Summary: No one can outrun the past. Kuroo already knew that before he started bounty hunting. [cowboy bebop!au]

AN: Written for the @the-smut-pile​’s western!au collab. This is barely a western, but the word “cowboy” is used so it counts. This fic is going to be multiple parts. The romance doesn’t come in for a while, just a heads up. I’m sure there’s more I meant to say here, but my brain is mush. I wrote most of this in the last three days and need a nap lmao

The dealer is watching him.

Eyes burn into his back as the bartender sets another glass of whiskey in front of Kuroo. In the mirror above the bar, Kuroo watches as one of the players, a middle-aged man with a cigar, requests another card. The dealer flips the card, revealing a Jack, and the man curses. A bust.

The dealer ignores the seething player, a look of boredom on his face. He’s thin, his hair parted to the right. Early twenties at best, but his eyes are tired and apathetic as they start to wander around the room.

It’s subtle. The dealer’s gaze doesn’t linger on Kuroo for long—it almost doesn’t linger at all, a stutter in that smooth glance around the room. If he wasn’t waiting for it, he might have missed it. But Kuroo has been painfully obvious tonight, making a show out of staring in that mirror every time a new card is drawn before making his move. It was bound to catch someone’s attention eventually. He just thought it would be sooner.

Kuroo spins the blackjack chip in front of him. White and turquoise blur together as the piece of ceramic whirls around on its edge. Gold glints under the dim lights above him.

A waitress passes the blackjack table behind him. The dealer glances at her. His mouth moves. His chin dips towards the bar where Kuroo is sitting.

“Kuroo.” Static crackles in his ear. His fingers twitch, seizing around the still spinning poker chip. It comes to an abrupt halt. Topples onto its side. With a sigh, he rests his elbow on the counter, props his chin up on his palm, and brings his drink to his mouth. “Anything?”

The whiskey burns in the back of his throat. “Not yet,” he says under his breath, glancing at the bartender to make sure he’s distracted. His fingers brush against the studs in his ear, following the steel bar attached to one of them until he reaches the attached earbud.

A disgruntled sound buzzes through the miniature speaker in his ear. “Then what are we wasting our time here for?” Tsukishima demands. The words aren’t minced, irritation mixed with his typical haughty tone.

“Getting bored out there, Kei?” Kuroo asks the younger man, keeping his tone light and amused. He specifically uses his first name, goading him. “I told you to come inside earlier. You still can. Unless you’d prefer to sit in the ship and sulk.” He takes another drink. “Besides, haven’t I told you to be patient?”

Tsukishima is silent on the other end.

The lapse in conversation stretches out. Kuroo’s gaze trails away from the card table behind him as he seeks out the rest of his crew in the reflection of the mirror over the bar. They’re still waiting where he left them, on opposite sides of the gambling floor. Akaashi is tucked close to the back wall, nursing his own drink and casually watching a game of poker, making no move to play himself like Kuroo has in the hour they’ve been here already. On the other end of the room, Bokuto is eyeing one of the card tables, starting to wander away from the slot machines and naturally gravitate towards the center of the room where a larger game of poker is being played. The prize pool has been steadily growing, attracting more attention as the night wears on.

They just have to wait a little longer for their target to show.

Eventually, Tsukishima huffs. “How do you even know Ikeda will be here tonight? He’s running. There’s no point in going to a high-traffic casino.”

Kuroo’s eyes narrow at the snappish tone, but he decides to let it slide for now. “Source said he’s headed this way,” he reminds Tsukishima. “You don’t come this close to Titan without stopping by Blue Castle. Not with a pool like that on the line.” He glances at the table Bokuto has been eyeing. “It’s up to a couple hundred grand already. He’s desperate for cash. Places like this don’t ask questions. Don’t give a shit so long as the house keeps winning.”

“And if you’re wrong?”

He shrugs, gaze wandering away from Bokuto. “Guess we’re fucked for a while.”

Tsukishima snorts. “How reassuring.”

Movement catches Kuroo’s eye in the corner of the mirror before he can ready a retort. There’s a man with dark hair shoving his way through the crowd of people gathered on the gambling floor. No, not shoving. The crowd is parting for him, scurrying out of his way as he storms across the room. Expression set in a scowl. A scowl that’s locked on Kuroo’s back.

Right on time.

He drops his hand from his face, sitting up straighter on the stool as the man comes closer. “Seems like security is finally coming to get me,” he tells Tsukishima off-handedly, abruptly ending the conversation. “Oh, and tell Kou to stop eyeing that table. His poker face is shit.”

Tsukishima pauses, like he wants to ask Kuroo what he’s talking about, but decides it’s simply not worth the effort. A grumbled response eventually comes over the radio, but Kuroo has already stopped listening. Low static buzzes in his ear as Tsukishima switches channels on his headset.

For once, he’s glad for Tsukishima’s lack of interest, though it isn’t bound to last long.

Kuroo grins into his drink as the man drops onto the stool beside him not a moment later. “About time someone got you, Iwa.” He tilts his head to the side, lazy gaze meeting a familiar stern expression. Green eyes glare back at him, and his smile widens. “I was about to bring the house down.”

A snort. “Like hell I’d let you walk away with that much,” Iwaizumi tells him. The tension in his clenched jaw loosens, but the scowl stays, and it doesn’t make him look any less disheveled. His clothes are rumpled. Shirt buttoned haphazardly; the sleeves rolled up. Iwaizumi jerks his chin towards the chip Kuroo has gone back to idly toying with in his free hand. “What are you up to anyway? Hundred thousand?”

He leans forward to look past Kuroo and braces his elbows on the counter, gesturing to catch the bartender’s attention.

“Two,” Kuroo corrects, glancing at his acquaintance. “What can I say? I’ve always had good luck.”

That gets him a chuckle. Though, it’s more disbelieving than amused. “Bullshit.” Iwaizumi shakes his head. A faint smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Counting cards doesn’t make you lucky.”

Kuroo shrugs, a wicked glint in his gold eyes. “Not getting caught does.”

The corner of Iwaizumi’s mouth twitches. “Yeah? How’d that work out tonight?”

“I’m still winning.”

The bartender places a drink down in front of Iwaizumi without a word, though he hesitates on the other side of the bar. A curious gaze strays towards Kuroo. The young man flinches when gold eyes snap up to meet his.

“On the rocks?” Kuroo comments as the bartender is called away by another patron. He watches the man leave, aware of the gazes lingering on him now that Iwaizumi is here. Bokuto must have mentioned the other man’s presence to Tsukishima because that familiar buzzing sound vibrates in his ear. “Didn’t think you’d be one to drink on the job. What would he say about that?”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes as he downs half the drink. The single ball of ice clinks against the edge of the glass. Kuroo watches it bob in the amber liquid. “I put up with his dumb ass twelve hours a day. He owes me this much.”

“That why you look like shit?” Kuroo asks, giving him another once-over. He smirks when he sees something he hadn’t noticed before. “That shade of red looks good on you, by the way.” He gestures to the lipstick stains half-hidden behind Iwaizumi’s collar, low on the side of his throat. “Sorry to interrupt whatever you were doing.”

“Piss off.” Iwaizumi glares at him, flustered. A flush starts to creep up his neck, but it doesn’t get under his skin the way Kuroo wants it to. They’ve known each other too long for that. “What are you doing here, Kuroo?”

He takes some satisfaction in how quickly Iwaizumi changes the subject. Pleasantries gone.

Flicking the rim of his glass, Kuroo wonders how much he should say right now, mindful of the audience listening. “Passing through,” he finally settles on, watching the ice in his own drink bob. He sends Iwaizumi a pointed look. “Hopefully, we won’t be here long.”

“We?” Iwaizumi repeats, eyes narrowing as he furrows his brow. It dawns on him a second later. “You’re here on a job. Fuck.”

The glare aimed at Kuroo doesn’t soften as he waves off Iwaizumi’s concern. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Tell him that,” Iwaizumi spits back at him. He leans back on his stool, rubbing his temple. “You’re lucky Kunimi sent the waitress to me and not Kyoutani.”

Tsukishima is silent over the headset, but Kuroo knows the younger man has been listening intently since he got back, just in case Kuroo slips up and says something he shouldn’t. But Kuroo has practice. There’s always someone listening.

Kuroo taps the blackjack chip on the bar counter, tracing the Blue Castle written across the coin in an elegant scrawl. “Blond guy in the back?” With a twist of his fingers, he sends the chip spinning again. “He’s been watching me since I walked in. Looks like he wants to kick my ass.”

“You’d deserve it.” Iwaizumi looks at Kuroo. “You gonna make this easy for me?”

The chip stops spinning and falls on its side with a quiet clatter. A turquoise crown is printed in the center.

“Why not?” Glancing in the mirror one last time, Kuroo makes eye contact with Akaashi. Static buzzes in his ear, the radio crackling again. Before Tsukishima can speak, Kuroo casually flicks the switch on his headset, silencing the static. He downs the rest of his drink and slides off the stool with a lazy stretch. “It’s been a while since I saw the Great King.”

Iwaizumi leads him to the elevator.

Neither speak as they wait for it to reach the bottom floor. Kuroo takes a subtle glance around the room. The blond that Iwaizumi mentioned—Kyoutani—is still watching him. So are Akaashi and Bokuto, who have strayed from their positions closer to the door. While Bokuto seems more confused than concerned, there’s an uneasy look on Akaashi’s face. His mouth moves as he speaks to Tsukishima over his earpiece. Kuroo doesn’t bother trying to read his lips.

The ding of the elevator draws Kuroo’s attention back to Iwaizumi, who waits for him to enter the box first.

It’s been a while since Kuroo has been in Blue Castle, but as his gaze roams the panels of heavy glass surrounding the box, he figures not much has changed. The elevator juts from the main building. Three walls made of Saturn glass that reflect the neon lights from streets below. The doors slide shut as Iwaizumi follows him inside, and Kuroo leans against the wall, head tilted back. The ceiling is made of glass too.

From here, he can just barely see the stars.

Iwaizumi fishes a set of keys from his pocket. Thumbing through them, he stops when he finds the one he’s looking for: small and silver, a crown etched onto the side. The key slots into a lock at the bottom of the button panel, and the button for the fourth floor glows blue when Iwaizumi turns it.

Kuroo glances at the other man as the elevator starts to move, hands casually slipping into the pockets of his suit jacket. “Is there going to be a gun pointed at my head when I get to the top floor?”

“No promises,” Iwaizumi says, leaning back against the wall as well. The muscles in his jaw clench as he rubs the back of his neck. The lipstick stains on his neck are smeared, not nearly as noticeable as they were before. “You know how he is.”

Leaning in closer, Kuroo squints his eyes, a sly grin on his face. “You missed a spot,” he tells Iwaizumi, who glares at him.

“Fuck off.”

Kuroo’s chuckle is cut off by the doors to the fourth floor opening in front of them. There are no guns pointed at him. No guards. No dogs. Just an empty hallway leading to a set of double doors.

He hopes his shoes scuff the ridiculous marble floors as he follows Iwaizumi out of the elevator. They’re startling white, inlaid with streaks of gold.

Iwaizumi doesn’t bother knocking on the doors. He shoves them open wide, grumbling something under his breath that Kuroo doesn’t pay much attention to, immediately focused on the wall of windows across the room and the man perched behind the large, white desk centered in front of them.

He’s sprawled lazily in his chair, slumped against his desk, and unsurprised by their sudden arrival. “You truly have no tact, Hajime,” he complains, sighing as his head of security enters the room. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes as the other man runs a hand through his brunet bangs. “Though, I suppose that can’t be helped.” His lips curl into a practiced smile when his dark eyes land on Kuroo, his expression brightening as he lifts his head from where it was cradled in his hand.

“Oikawa.”

“Kuroo.” The returned greeting is clipped. Oikawa sits up straighter behind his desk. “What a surprise.” He raises an eyebrow, silently observing his old acquaintance, his stare critical as he looks over Kuroo’s rumpled suit: jacket left unbuttoned and tie loose around his neck. “You look like shit,” he says, as Iwaizumi closes the set of doors and leans against the wall beside them.

Kuroo huffs. “Good to see you too,” he responds, sarcasm thick on his tongue as he walks further into the office, eyes wandering around the space.

It’s open. Clean. Decorated in blues and whites and golds. Expensive, but not tacky. Even Oikawa is wearing a nice blue button-up, looking more presentable than either Kuroo or Iwaizumi. The man in question slides his work aside, gesturing for Kuroo to sit in one of the sleek armchairs in front of him.

“How long has it been since we saw each other?” Oikawa asks him, clasping his hands together on his desk, head tilted to one side in thought.

“Almost two years.” Kuroo eyes the chair before sitting on it and stretching out like an overgrown housecat. “Back on Ganymede. When everything was going to shit.”

Oikawa hums low under his breath. His gaze seems to darken with the memory. The room feels colder suddenly. Heavier. Oikawa watches as Kuroo absently spins one of the rings decorating his fingers. He changes the subject. “You’re working with a team now. I suppose you always were a natural leader.”

Kuroo shrugs—grits his teeth. “I keep picking up strays. Bad habit.” He nods towards the paperwork shoved to one side of the desk, piles in various states of disarray. A small crack in the façade Oikawa likes to put on. “How’s the casino these days?”

It doesn’t catch him off guard like Kuroo hoped. Oikawa’s brows furrow, his smile slipping. “You don’t care about my business ventures.”

“You don’t care who I’m working with so long as they aren’t after you,” Kuroo counters.

The stare Oikawa levels him with is matched by Kuroo’s own, gold and brown clashing. It’s Oikawa who backs down first, though Kuroo knows better than to call it a win. “Fair enough,” he concedes. “Now, are you really going to make me ask why you’re here?”

“Bounty’s for some guy named Ikeda,” Kuroo tells him. “From what I’ve heard, he was a dealer for some kingpin on Callisto who took over within the last year, after the Widow Maker Conflict.” Kuroo’s eyes narrow. “He made off with four-hundred-thousand worth of some shit called Paradise. Nasty hallucinogenic. Some places are calling it Reaper. I don’t know much about it yet.”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi exchange a look over Kuroo’s shoulder. “So, the kingpin wants this Ikeda taken out?”

“No.” Kuroo shakes his head. “ISSP put out the bounty because they think he’ll talk. They want to get rid of this shit before one of the Mars’ Syndicates gets ahold of it. Bounty is set at over half a million right now.”

Iwaizumi scoffs by the door, arms folded across his chest. “They think the Syndicates don’t already? Dumb fucks.”

The sneered comment is followed by stark silence.

Behind his desk, Oikawa sighs. “I see,” he mutters. What little of his smile was left falls away, his lips pressing into a thin line. “The bounty does make it harder for the dealers to put out a hit instead. Too many people will be looking for one man. Once this Paradise ends up with one of the Syndicates, it’ll practically be untouchable. It makes sense they’d put out such a high bounty for it. Why do you think he’s coming here?”

“That pool downstairs is at almost five hundred thousand, right?”

This time, Iwaizumi outright laughs. “Ikeda thinks they’ll let him pay it back? They’ll make him bite the curb. Poor bastard’s good as dead already. If the kingpin doesn’t take him out now, one of the Syndicates will after he’s already in custody.”

“We got here early thanks to a tip from a friend of mine,” Kuroo explains, looking out the window. “As of about five minutes ago, every bounty hunter in the area is headed this way. By the time they get here, my crew downstairs will have caught Ikeda and left for the Juno station. Titan is going to be crawling with bounty hunters before long,” he tacks on. “And you don’t come to Titan without—”

“Without stopping at Blue Castle,” Oikawa finishes for him, tone dry. He rolls his eyes. “I’m aware.”

Kuroo leans back further in his seat, a grin already tugging at the corner of his mouth. There are no ships in sight yet, but he knows better than to think they aren’t coming. “With no bounty left, they’ll have nothing better to do but drink and play blackjack.”

Oikawa doesn’t look convinced. “They’ll be broke,” he says simply. “All of you bounty hunters are. What good does that do me?”

“It’s not my problem if they don’t know when to quit.” His golden eyes cut away from the window, catlike gaze settling on Oikawa. “Besides, when has that ever stopped you from letting someone rack up a gambling debt before?” Kuroo asks.

“I paid off yours, didn’t I?” Oikawa throws out casually, gaining a scowl from Kuroo in response. He ignores it, glancing down at his paperwork instead, then at Iwaizumi, before returning his attention to the bounty hunter on the other side of his desk. “And why wouldn’t I go after the bounty myself if he’s worth that much?”

Kuroo’s response is immediate. “You don’t like to get your hands dirty unless you need to. This one isn’t worth your time.” He shifts his weight on the chair, grinning. “And you still owe me a favor from back then.”

This time, Oikawa frowns. His eyes narrow in irritation. “I thought we settled that back on Ganymede?”

“You owed me two.���

Iwaizumi snorts, grinning as Oikawa sends him a withering look.

Instead of arguing like Kuroo expects, Oikawa pauses as he considers what Kuroo has told him so far. It does make sense. The bounty isn’t worth it to him, not when he’s unprepared. Even so.

“Why didn’t you join the poker game downstairs?” he asks. “The pool right now is more than your cut of the bounty. You could have taken it and run. Left someone else to deal with the bounty. It would have been easy for you.”

Kuroo smirks. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Oikawa clasps his hands together, fingers linking together. “What exactly are you planning, Kuroo?” he asks, leaning forward and resting his chin on his hands.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Kuroo promises.

“Somehow, I don’t believe that.”

“You don’t have to.” He shrugs. “All I’m asking is for your boys to stay out of my way.”

A pause. Oikawa is still frowning at him. “And if they don’t?”

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi cuts in again. He still hasn’t moved from the spot he took up near the doors, staying out of it but remaining close. Just in case. Kuroo and Oikawa are too similar sometimes. Slick-tongued. Both of them piss Iwaizumi off like that. “It saves us a mess to clean up ourselves. Besides, business is business.”

Oikawa purses his lips, acknowledging Iwaizumi, but keeping his gaze firmly on Kuroo.

Instead of answering, Kuroo reaches under his jacket. Iwaizumi tenses where he’s leaning up against the wall, but before he can reach for his gun, Kuroo places a stack of blackjack chips on Oikawa’s desk and slides them across. Over a dozen ten-thousand-dollar chips clatter against the wood. “The house always wins, right?”

Oikawa lets him leave, dark brown eyes trailing after Kuroo as he heads for the door.

He stops beside Iwaizumi. “There is one more thing.”

“Oh?” Oikawa muses. “And what’s that?”

The ground floor is still bustling with activity when Kuroo and Iwaizumi step out of the elevator. A quick glance around the room tells Kuroo he hasn’t missed much. The all-in poker game hasn’t started yet, but there are more people milling around now, lingering closer to the middle of the room. He doesn’t see Ikeda, not yet anyway. It won’t be long until he crawls out of whatever hole he’s hidden away in.

He just hopes that’s before more bounty hunters start showing up. Despite what he told Oikawa, Kuroo isn’t so foolish as to think he’s the only bounty hunter with friends in the ISSP. If he wasn’t already headed towards Titan, they might have been too late getting here.

Catching sight of Bokuto’s hair in the crowd below, Kuroo claps Iwaizumi on the shoulder. “Until next time,” he says, offering the other man a parting grin. “Also, I should probably warn you that Bokuto tends to break things. I’m sure Oikawa won’t mind paying for the damages himself, of course. As part of that favor.”

“Fuck off.”

Iwaizumi shakes Kuroo off, much to his delight, and he chuckles as he heads back towards the bar he’s supposed to be posted at. He doesn’t make it far before he pauses, hesitating before he reaches the floor. Iwaizumi quirks a brow at Kuroo’s behavior but watches silently as the other man stands there for a moment, only a few feet away from Iwaizumi. “Hey, Hajime?” Kuroo calls over his shoulder without turning around. “Thanks.”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “Whatever, space cowboy.” Leaving Kuroo there, he turns towards the back of the room where Kyoutani is posted. “Don’t go gettin’ yourself killed now.”

An amused huff slips past Kuroo’s mouth. “No promises,” he says under his breath.

It’s not until he makes it back onto the gambling floor that Kuroo switches his earphone back on. Predictably, white noise fills his left ear. That static sound ends when a furious voice breaks through.

“What the hell was that?” Tsukishima sneers at him, louder than usual. Kuroo wasn’t gone long. Fifteen minutes at most. But it was just long enough to piss the younger man off. “Why did you cut me—”

“Tell Kou and Keiji to get back into position and wait for my signal,” he says, calmly cutting Tsukishima off. “And then connect all of the lines. If you’re going to stay outside, make sure you have eyes on the front at all times. The final pool starts in about twenty minutes. Everyone is all-in. Ikeda will be here for it.”

Tsukishima is quiet for a long time. Kuroo knows he’s pissed the younger man off, but right now, he doesn’t care.

The radio in his ear crackles one more time. “Fine.”

It’s easy to drown out the chatter in his ear as he sits at the bar. Bokuto’s voice fades into background noise, Akaashi’s occasionally filtering through as he responds to his partner. Tsukishima hasn’t spoken since he linked the coms, still pissed at Kuroo.

He’ll have to deal with that later.

Sighing, Kuroo runs his fingers through his hair and leans back.

A whiskey glass clinks against the counter in front of him. Kuroo’s gaze jumps towards the sound. Ice bobs in the glass. Slowly, his hand falls away from his head. A frown tugs at his mouth.

The same bartender from before stands across from him. Under Kuroo’s gaze, he shifts his weight back and forth on his feet. “It’s on the house,” he says as Kuroo raises an eyebrow at the drink he didn’t order. “Enjoy.”

Kuroo stares at the glass for a moment, but he doesn’t dwell on it. If Oikawa wants to waste good liquor on him, who is he to complain about it?

Raising the glass to his mouth, he takes a drink. The taste that bursts across his tongue almost makes him choke. Kuroo struggles not to laugh, biting his lip to keep from coughing.

Apple juice.

“Bastard,” he mumbles, a small smile tugging at his lips as he shakes his head.

It must be just loud enough for the microphone to catch, because Bokuto’s idle chatter cuts off abruptly. White-noise buzzes in his ear before Bokuto calls out, “Kuro?” A glance in the mirror shows that Bokuto is already looking at him from across the room, head cocked to one side curiously.

“It’s nothing,” Kuroo says, brushing him off. “Try not to break too much tonight, Kou. It’s coming out of your cut this time.”

The sudden shift in topic makes Bokuto gasp, his pride on the line. But before Bokuto can whine about being called out for occasionally being destructive, Tsukishima speaks up, his familiar bored tone smooth over the speaker in his ear.

“Kuroo,” he says nonchalantly. “Ikeda is here.”

Using the mirror, Kuroo scans the room. At the very edge of the glass, Kuroo catches a glimpse of a thin man with mousy brown hair standing near the entrance, eyes darting around the room. He’s making himself more obvious than Kuroo was. Jittery. The kind that brings problems with him where he goes. Even if he hadn’t warned Iwaizumi and Oikawa, they would have noticed him themselves immediately.

“I see him. Three o’clock.” The others call affirmatives once they have eyes on their target, and Kuroo mulls over what they should do. They need to get out of here quickly. Once more bounty hunters arrive at Blue Castle, they’ll be in trouble. “Bokuto. Akaashi.”

“Want us to cut him off?”

Kuroo shakes his head. “No. Let him get close. We don’t want him running.” He doesn’t dare face Ikeda directly; he looks jumpy enough to take off if he notices. Instead, he follows him in the mirror. Just like he told Oikawa, the bounty heads straight for the counter, exchanging what little cash he has for Blue Castle chips. He’s closest to Bokuto, still lingering near the poker tables. “Kei, is there anyone following him?”

“It looked like there might have been three men tailing him on the street. They just walked in as well.”

Akaashi speaks up from where he’s carefully hidden himself in the shadow of the back wall. “They’re looking for someone,” he says, watching the trio of men’s eyes roam around the room, gazes more shrewd than if they were simply entranced by the sights. “Bounty hunters?”

Kuroo catches sight of them a moment later and grimaces. It only takes one look for him to know they have a problem. “Hitmen,” he corrects. So much for it being harder to put out a hit. Ikeda must have information that’s too valuable for him to be left alive if they’re sending this many after him. “Shit. Cut them off. Don’t lose them in the crowd.”

“You got it!”

“And you?”

Kuroo slides off his barstool. “Just leave Ikeda to me.” He pauses before grabbing his glass from the counter, taking it with him.

Bokuto and Akaashi linger further away, keeping their eyes on the hitmen trailing Ikeda, while Kuroo heads straight for the poker table. Ikeda skirts around the edge of the same table, moving to the side furthest from the doors, expecting to be followed. It would be smart. Except Kuroo is coming from behind him.

It should be easy. They’ve dealt with more difficult targets before. Craftier. Stronger. More desperate. As soon as Kuroo gets close enough, he’ll subdue Ikeda. Bokuto and Akaashi should be able to handle the hitmen by themselves if they’re working for some low-level kingpin on Callisto.

Halfway across the room, Kuroo bumps into someone on his right.

“Fuck,” he hisses. His drink sloshes in the glass, spilling over his fingers. The man who ran into him swears as well. Amber liquid stains the side of his white shirt. As his arms jerk away from the sudden cold, the sides of his jacket shift.

There’s a gun holstered at his side.

Kuroo’s eyes snap up. The other man is already looking at him. Jaw clenched. Eyes narrowed. His fingers twitch at his side. He hadn’t been on the first floor all night. They didn’t see him come in.

“Son of a bitch,” Kuroo says.

“Kuroo?” someone asks over the radio.

He sighs. “There are four of them.”

He throws what’s left of his drink in the other man’s face and lurches to the side as the fourth hitman draws his gun and shoots. The loud bang startles everyone in the room. Kuroo doesn’t see where the bullet goes as he ducks out of the way.

The gun is still trained on him when Kuroo rolls back onto his feet. There’s more distance between them now. A long blackjack table caught between the two of them. The hitman sneers at him. The gun levels with Kuroo’s chest. His finger pulls back on the trigger.

Kuroo lashes out with his leg. His foot collides with the underside of the blackjack table. It’s thrown onto its side. Two of the four legs lurch off the ground. Balanced precariously like that, the table blocks the bullets aimed at him. Wood splinters upon impact at point blank. Blue and white poker chips fly through the air.

All hell breaks loose.

There are screams in Blue Castle as the other hitmen draw their guns as well. People stumble from their seats on the gambling floor, shoving to get out of the way of gunfire that doesn’t come. Bokuto and Akaashi are faster.

Two of the men are caught off-guard and taken down.

Kuroo doesn’t watch his partners grapple for their guns. His eyes sweep around the room in search of Ikeda. He’s already taken off, racing towards the side door leading out to the alleys surrounding Blue Castle. He spits out a curse. It’ll be hard to catch him if he gets outside.

The hitman across from Kuroo seems to realize the same thing. Still blocked by the table, he trains his gun on Ikeda instead, ready to take the shot.

As the other man fires his gun, Kuroo throws the whiskey glass still clenched in his hand. The bullet smashes into the specially made Saturn Glass which explodes with the impact, delayed by only a second. Shards of glass rain down. The bullet’s trajectory shifts off course; it ends up embedded in the wall inches from Ikeda as he throws himself out the side door.

Before he can take another shot, Kuroo throws his weight against the upright table. It topples onto the hitman, knocking him onto the ground. One of the wooden legs snaps off.

Oikawa is going to be pissed.

Kuroo doesn’t have long to dwell on that. One of the other three hitmen pushes through the crowd. Before Kuroo can grab his own gun, the other man is already halfway out the door.

He makes sure to step on the table as he races after them, knocking the wind out of the man beneath it.

Kuroo throws the door open, letting it bang against the side of the building. The alley is empty. Both men are gone.

“Shit,” he sneers. “Kei, any movement on the west side of the entrance?”

“None.”

He runs to the right.

From what he remembers, this alley leads to a dead end behind the casino. An area sectioned off by the man who owned Blue Castle before Oikawa. They should be trapped there. If not, the wall should at least slow them down long enough for him to catch up.

Kuroo rounds the corner. A bang. He throws himself against the alley wall. A bullet buries itself in the bricks behind where he was standing. Kuroo yanks out his own gun, leveling it with the hitman’s head.

Before he can take the shot, the hitman pulls Ikeda between them, turning his gun on their bounty instead.

“Drop it. Now,” he demands, shoving the pistol against Ikeda’s temple. “Or he’s dead.”

Ikeda inhales sharply, tensing. Wide, terrified eyes try to meet Kuroo’s, but he doesn’t spare the bounty a look, keeping his eyes locked with the hitman’s as his finger hovers over the trigger.

Kuroo’s grip on his own gun is loose. He raises an eyebrow at the threat. “What do I care about that?” he asks. The hitman’s eyes widen. His shoulders slacken momentarily in surprise. Ikeda tenses as Kuroo continues. “He’s dead either way, right? That pool inside is worth more than this bastard is.”

The hitman hesitates, his brow furrowing in confusion. “But you’re a cowboy, aren’t you?”

Kuroo shrugs with one shoulder, gun still pointed at the hitman. “I’m not here to save anyone,” he says truthfully. A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth as the pistol moves just an inch away from Ikeda’s head. “Besides. You really think you’re faster than me?”

He pulls the trigger.

Blood splatters across the side of Ikeda’s face. The hitman cries out as a bullet buries itself in his shoulder. He drops the gun. Kuroo shoots him again as he stumbles forward, this time in the leg. He hits the ground with a thud and doesn’t move.

Kuroo doesn’t lower his weapon until Ikeda stumbles back against the wall and slides down onto his ass, his legs giving out.

“Thank you,” Ikeda croaks after a minute of silence. His hands tremble as he curls further into the brick wall behind him, and he watches as Kuroo nudges the hitman with the tip of his shoe.

He kicks the man’s injured shoulder when he doesn’t react the first time, satisfied when the man groans, long and low under his breath. Good. He doesn’t feel like dealing with a body today. Too much of a hassle with the paperwork.

Kuroo leans back against the opposite wall of the alley and takes out a cigarette.

Ikeda sucks in a shuddering breath. “Thank you,” he says again before Kuroo can light it.

Kuroo stills. “Don’t.” His voice is calm. Firm. “I meant it. You’re probably dead either way if you’ve pissed off the syndicates.” Ikeda flinches as Kuroo’s eyes finally snap over to meet his. “There’s not much the ISSP can do to protect you from them. You should have known that when you stole almost half a million worth of product.” He laughs at the face Ikeda makes, but there’s nothing humorous about it. “Hell, it might have been kinder to let him shoot you here, compared to what they’ll do after you’re taken in.”

He turns his back on Ikeda, lighting his cigarette. “You guys done inside?” he asks over the radio.

Akaashi answers. “We’re taking these three back to the Cat. Do you need help?”

“Nah, I should be—”

He stops abruptly.

Glancing over his shoulder, Kuroo finds a gun pointed at him again. This time it’s Ikeda holding it.

“Kuroo?”

He wets his lips. “Give me a minute,” he mumbles back.

Ikeda aims the gun at Kuroo’s head, trembling finger hesitating to squeeze down on the trigger. “I don’t wanna die,” he tells Kuroo, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Slowly, Kuroo raises one of his empty hands to his ear, silencing the radio. Ikeda’s hand won’t stop shaking. “You think running away forever is any better?”

By the time Kuroo gets back with Ikeda and the hitman he took out, the others are already lounging around in the common area of the ship. The other three hitmen are tied up on the floor, their wrists cuffed behind their backs. Tsukishima is lying on one of the couches, wearing his headphones as he plays some handheld game, Akaashi leaning against the wall beside him. Bokuto is sitting cross-legged in front of the hitmen. A grin spreads across his face when Kuroo walks into the room.

“About time you got back, man! We were ready to leave without you!”

Akaashi sighs. Ignoring Bokuto, he looks at Kuroo as he shoves the last hitman with the rest. Ikeda, he lets sit on one of the chairs in the room, though his hands are bound in front of him.

“What do you want us to do with them?” he asks, nodding towards the four.

Kuroo crouches in front of them, brows furrowed in thought. “Might as well keep them,” he decides. “I might be able to swindle my guy into giving us a bonus for these bastards. Doubt they’re worth much though.” Shrugging, he stands and stretches. “Ah, well. Guess that’s not our problem.”

Akaashi nods, and Bokuto scrambles to his feet beside him. “Want us to take them downstairs?”

“Keep them separate,” Kuroo tells them. The last thing they need is for one of them to get their hands on Ikeda before they can turn him in.

Bokuto gives him a two-finger salute before he helps Akaashi pull the men to their feet. They don’t put up much of a struggle as they’re herded out of the main area. Ikeda, too, follows them without making a fuss. His face is still streaked with blood, his eyes puffy and red.

Kuroo doesn’t look at him for long.

“You seem to know a lot of people,” Tsukishima comments after Akaashi and Bokuto are gone with the others. He’s still playing his game, but his headphones are down around his neck.

“Must be my sparkling personality.” Tsukishima scoffs under his breath, and Kuroo levels him with a look, catching Tsukishima’s gaze before he can turn away. When the younger man stays quiet, Kuroo narrows his eyes. “You got something to say, say it.”

Tsukishima doesn’t hesitate this time. “Why did you turn off your headset?”

“Now, that’s a secret,” Kuroo tells him, starting to smile. When Tsukishima sends him a blank look in return, Kuroo doesn’t bother to keep it up. “I had business with an old friend. I didn’t need some kid listening in.” It’s the wrong thing to say.

“Right.”

The snappish tone has Kuroo gritting his teeth. “Is that a problem, Kei?”

The younger man rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he says, getting off the couch. “The ship is on autopilot to Juno. I’ll be in my room.”

Suddenly exhausted, Kuroo drops onto the couch opposite where Tsukishima was sitting. A soft trilling sound comes from the open hallway leading toward the bedrooms. Kuroo’s head lolls to the side. A small smile tugs at his mouth as a fluffy, black cat pads into the room. Sumi chirps as soon as he sees Kuroo. The cat trots up to him, rubbing against Kuroo’s legs and winding around his ankles. He purrs loudly.

Clicking his tongue, Kuroo pats the seat beside him.

Sumi makes a sound as he hops onto the couch, immediately crawling onto Kuroo’s lap. “What the hell are we gonna do with him, huh, Susu?” Kuroo asks, rubbing the cat’s cheek. Sumi purrs louder, leaning more of his weight into Kuroo’s palm.

Predictably, Sumi offers no answers. Kuroo sighs as he runs his fingers along the cat’s spine, fingers brushing through his long hair.

Closing his eyes again, he leans his head back, thinking about what Oikawa said before. There was a reason he couldn’t have Tsukishima listening in.

He stopped beside Iwaizumi. “There is one more thing.”

“Oh?” Oikawa mused. “And what’s that?”

Kuroo glanced over his shoulder, baring his teeth in a grin that was too wide. Too sharp. “I was never here.”

At his desk, Oikawa arched a brow, chin resting on his laced fingers. An amused smile tugged at his lips. “Of course not,” he agreed easily, brushing off the unspoken threat and pacifying Iwaizumi, whose hand had twitched towards the gun at his hip. “How could you be?” Oikawa continued. “After all, you’ve been dead for three years.”

[fluffyglass]

THE MR. GRUMPY PLEASE STOP THREATENING MR. TICKLE'S LIFE MASTERPOST

I have lost all sense of reality

Season 1

Mr. Grumpy appears in 39 episodes of Season 2.

In 7 of these episodes does he do something wrong.

Season 2

Mr. Grumpy appears in 44 episodes of Season 2.

In 8 of these episodes does he do something wrong.

Conclusions

Mr. Grumpy does something wrong in 15 out of the 83 episodes he appears in, which is 18%. Counting my 10 unsures bumps him up to 25/83, which is 30%.

Mr. Grumpy is a super weird character to rank, as he's justifiably annoyed by pretty much everyone around him; this, however, makes me feel bad to consider him an asshole in any episode because he's beaten down by the world until he snaps. So, take everything I say here with a grain of salt.

The one thing I'll always count against him though is if he ever threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm because believe me he does that A LOT

Yellow - Mr. Grumpy does nothing wrong

Red - Mr. Grumpy does something wrong

Pink - idk lol

SEASON 1

Flying - Just doing his job

Music - he's just kinda there lmao

Physical - man nobody even DOES anything in the early episodes

Farm - He gets so hilariously close to saying fuck in this episode its ridiculous. Anyways he's a dick to everyone trying to help him

Lake - barely there

Beach - BIRDS STOLE HSI FUCKING SAMWICH SMH

Mall - what the fuck even was that segment

Birthday - I actually had to watch pretty much the entire episode for this one. He just wants to chill on his own the entire time and everyone else just . does not listen. Please just let him vibe

Boats - barely in it

Superstore - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Books - just sellin his book don't mind him

Camping - he just. cannot eat outside in peace

Science - fuck you Miss Daredevil

Fish - Blames Mr. Bump for splashing when he is . fucking dying

Paint - what the fuck even just happened. I guess he ran over Mr. Bump but it was presumably unintentional and. nsbdANSDMADF WHY ARE THEY CUBED

Construction - He was barely in it and then got fucking mauled at the end

Jobs - yep he sure is there I guess

Trains - Yeah he once again sure is there

Hobbies - he's kinda mean to Mr. Scatterbrain but he's Mr. Scatterbrain so

Fair - this show is so stupid

Dance - It's justifiable that he'd complain about the noise but like. Dude. It's a dance studio. Why am I defending Mr. Noisy again

Amusement Park - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm, then tickles him after he said he was gonna be sick :(

Adventure - almost dies

Dillydale Day - he's barely in it and all he does is insult the performance

Games - y'know how I said this show was stupid? This is another example of that but in a good way

Hotel - I had to watch this one twice cause I have no fucking idea what to do with it. Like. He's kind of a dick to everyone and barely does his actual job but like. r., what the fcl./??????? also he pushes Mr. Tickle over at some point yeah I'm counting this one

Chores - he's just chillin and then dies

Snow - this segment is fucking hilarious but that's just cause Stubborn's in it lmao anyways he's fine ig

Wildlife - just kinda there

Restaurants - this show is so stupid . again

Gardens - oh how I hate this fucking episode - forced myself to rewatch it, he doesnt do SHIT WRONG AND THESE FUCKERSSADASKDKJDFJKJKADFJKSCVCDVDJKLFKLF IM SO FUCKIGN MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cars - Miss Sunshine is nothing but courteous the entire time and Mr. Grumpy does nothing but fucking complain is this the reckoning we get after the disaster that is Gardens

Ships - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Cooking - Roasts the shit out of Miss Naughty but she deserved it so it's okay

Collecting - just kinda there

Sleep - Yeahhhhh uhhh he kinda sent Mr. Strong to his "death" and didn't really. give a shit. soooooooooo oh yeah also hes kinda just mean to everyone the entire time hes just a dick

Carwash - he's trying his best also GAY ICON EPISODE

Sightseeing - yeah

The Dark - yeah again

SEASON 2

Picnics - he's just kinda there

Outer Space - again he's just kinda there

Clean Teeth - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Airports - He's kinda just trying to stop Mr. Stubborn from committing a copious amount of crimes

Shoes - quits a performance right in the middle for no fucking reason ?

Arts and Crafts - he's just trying his best

Game Shows - just kinda there

Garages - this show is so stupid

Toys - this show is still so stupid also Mr. Nervous said among us and I screamed

Reptiles - isn't this just Cars again? but this time he's slightly more of an asshole considering he tries to get Miss Sunshine to ignore Mr. Lazy. The only good part of this bit is Martin

Hats - Tried to get Mr. Happy to ignore the other hat contest contestants so he could win, but he does share his prize at the end, so idk man

Robots - I have absolutely no fucking clue

Up and Down - bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Dining Out - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Gifts - just kinda there

Sun and Moon - yep

Telephone - the whole fucking dillydale invaded his house wtf!!

Washing & Drying - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Sneezes & Hiccups - If I had a nickel for every Mr. Grumpy segment that was only funny because Mr. Stubborn was in it I'd have six nickels. I could buy a soda with that if it was 50 years ago

Fruit - Managed to be bribed with . fruit

Radio - bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Supermarket - i fucking hate this show I dont care enough to rewatch this one

Skyscrapers - HE STOLE MR SCATTERBRAIN'S SANDWICH SMH

Cinema - I'm so tired

Getting Around - I am still tired

Clocks - this episode is ass

Post Office - I am still, in fact, tired

Dance, Dance, Dance - I'm not tired anymore this episode bangs

Library - HE BARELY EVEN DOES ANYTHING

Pirates - I'm tired again

Goo - Threatens Mr. Tickle with bodily harm

Trains & Planes - I am going to fall asleep

Out to Sea - I am asleep. also he ignores Mr. Quiet the entire time and doesn't acknowledge Miss Scary pretty much saving his life but hhhhhhhhhhhhhhbnbnvnvbb i am too tired to care at this point

Next Door - still asleep

Lunch - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Machines - this isn't as painfully boring as Mr. Happy was but it's pretty close

Fairies and Gnomes - NEVERMIND I FUCKING LOVE THIS EPISODE

Home Improvement - asleep again

Bath and Bubbles - still asleep

Sand and Surf - I am up to 8 nickels at this point

Parks - Mr. Grumpy is so much more boring than I rememebred AND YEP THREATENED MR TICKLE WITH BODILY HARM

Surprises - I refuse to watch this episode again

Travel - THREATENED MR TICKLE WITH BODILY HARM AGAIN

Bad Weather - and I am now once again asleep

[musette22]

Hi Minnie! First of all, thank you for being so sweet, reasonable and respectful, I can't even describe how much joy your blog gives me! You are a true pro in emotional support for Evanstan fandom, so I guess I kinda need some reassurance. [1]

The thing is, as you probably know, some Seb stans on Twitter take the whole Chris insta situation and turn it into smth embarassing, like making fun of Seb and Mackie ignoring Chris and calling the idea of the challenge stupid (even though Chris did donate, not just "asked fans for money", as they say). It's like they feel the need to attack the first before smb calls they fav out. [2]

I know there ARE good people in Seb fandom, it's just that the aggressive ones are so loud and spread their bs so fast, I end up seeing it on my TL. No matter how stupid it sounds, it keeps making me sad to see so much hate towards Chris and his fans not from some random locals but from Seb stans. It's like two halves of my heart are torn apart. Not even ship-wise, it just seems so hard to love them both and be present on twitter these days. [3]

And, since I'm whiney af today, one more twitter thing: the CW promo era was some kind of honeymoon for us, sure, but I've recently seen some opinions on how Chris was all lovey-dovey and Seb was stiff and bored and uncomfortable, how their interviews were unnatural and boring. I mean, in my part of fandom (non-English speaking country) there has always been a popular perception of boys' dynamic as these "over-excited puppy playing around a confused cat" vids, if you know what I mean. [4]

But it kinda seemed ok for me, and the way they acted a little awkward around each other etc. Well, you can tell I'm easily affected cause now it does feel more negative to me. Stuuupid, I know. Maybe it's my "let's feel sorry for Chris and his fans" phase, idk. Sorry for bringing it here, you just seem to reassure people so well. [5 and last, it was long lol]

Hello my lovely!! This was indeed long hahaha but that’s totally fine, I myself am also someone who also has trouble keeping things short to I feel you 😘 

This is a very long reply so I’m putting it under the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!

Okay so first of all, let me say I was never a fan of Twitter, but everything I’ve heard lately has just lowered my opinion of it even further. I know there’s a lot of amazing stuff and brilliant folks on there as well, but it also seems to be where all the bitchy, hateful, entitled and inappropriate people congregate. So personally, I’m very happy with my little community on Tumblr when it comes to fandom, and for news and social media I prefer actual news outlets and instagram. The sad truth is that there are a lot of harmful and hateful opinions in the world, and as someone who struggles with anxiety, I try to find ways to avoid a lot of it. Especially the stuff I can’t do anything about (you can try to reason with most haters until you’re blue in the face, and 90% of the time it’s not going to make an ounce of difference). It’s much easier to curate your own experiences on platforms like Tumblr and even Instagram than it is on Twitter, or so I’ve gathered. So I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of helpful advice for you there apart from ‘maybe try and stay away from Twitter if you can’ which you probably don’t really want either...

As for the whole Seb vs Chris issue: it’s clearly completely ridiculous. There is no ground whatsoever to believe they’re at odds. At worst, they’re now just casual work friends, but there is no reason to believe there’s any bad blood. It’s interesting to consider that initially, the argument seemed to be they had fallen out and both disliked each other (no idea where that came from but sure), then it was that Chris didn’t like Sebastian (because he allegedly shaded him when he joked that Scarjo was the only one of his friends who came to see Lobby Hero), and then Chris got Instagram and tagged and followed Seb, but because Seb hasn’t responded to the challenge yet, he now apparently hates Chris. For what reason, god only knows, because only last year at MCM London (where I was present myself) Sebastian gushed about Chris and his experiences with him while filming the Cap movies, and lets not forget it was him who initiated the hug at the Endgame premiere. Long story short: they don’t dislike each other. They’re completely fine, people just like to make up drama for whatever reason.   

As for the Sebastian stans who hate Chris and vice vera: to be honest, I wasn’t even really aware it was an issue until recently, because I was under the naive impression that it was kind of impossible to love one but hate the other. Both of them are such amiable, sweet, thoughtful, funny, talented guys, and everyone who actually knows them adores them, so why on earth anyone could hate either of them is beyond me. But even if you do, I genuinely don’t understand this need to pit them against each other? Why? I think a lot of it is down to people just liking drama, or being actual 12 year-olds who still see the world in a kind of high school dynamic-way. I’m not saying Chris and Sebastian have never done anything wrong, but in my opinion, none of it warrants outright hate or being cancelled over. It’s such an immature and unreasonable take. I’m just sorry for the people who can’t love both of them, because man, are they missing out! I understand that it’s painful for you to see all those opinions when you love both of them so much, but that’s why I try to just avoid them. I know they exist, but not seeing them makes dealing with it a whole lot easier, I promise! ❤️

With regard to the challenge itself: if the celebrities who are taking part in it are not donating themselves, then yeah, that would be problematic. However, we know that Chris donates to a ton of different charities, so there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s donated to this cause as well. Asking people to buy tickets to try and win this “prize” is not in itself an issue, if you ask me. People can think for themselves, can’t they? If they think it’s worth it, they think it’s worth it. They’re not being forced to part with their money, and moreover said money is being used to help people in need. Of course fake and problematic charities exist, but there are still good ones out there as well, so let’s assume for the moment this one is actually doing all of this from a genuine desire to help people and it’s not some money grabbing scheme.

Furthermore, as I’ve said so many times before, I really don’t believe Sebastian and Mackie are “ignoring” Chris. If they’re choosing not to do the challenge (they still might do it at some point) then I’m sure they have a good reason for that and it isn’t that they’re holding a grudge and are thinking “screw this charity and that Chris Evans, I’m going to ghost him to get my revenge!” I mean, do these people even realize how ridiculous that sounds 🙄 I also believe they would have let Chris know about their decision privately. They do have each other’s phone numbers, you know... 

And lastly, about the CW press tour... I don’t know what footage these people have been watching to come to such conclusions, or what’s wrong with their eyes and ears, but that makes NO sense to me. I’ll tell you what; it was mostly the footage from the CW press tour that got me convinced there was something going in between the two of them! Both Chris and Sebastian acted in a way that screamed “smitten kittens” to me, and if there was ever any “stiffness” from Sebastian’s side, then that was no doubt just his slightly more reserved personality compared to Chris and Mackie’s. Chris and Sebastian’s videos together give me LIFE, so for anyone to call them boring is actually kind of insulting lol. To me, almost every interaction Chris and Seb had during that press tour showed that they were either low-key (in a friendship way) or high-key (in a romantic way) crushing on each other, and they clearly admire each other very much. Any awkwardness I’ve ever seen between them for me seemed to stem from that crush (is anyone not at least a little awkward around their crush sometimes?) and not from any dislike from either side. That’s actually such a ridiculous idea to me that it doesn’t even make me worried, it just makes me laugh. Some people really don’t have eyes, it seems. 

Anyway, that was a reeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyyy long reply lmao, I’m sorry! I hope this helps a little though, because I do know how shitty it is to feel like you do about things that are supposed to make you happy!! Tuning out the haters and focusing on people who feel the same way you do in my experience is the best way to get to feeling good again 🥰 Big hug, and hopefully you’ll feel better soon!

[tellywoodtrash]

sanjivani 14.10.19 lb

pft. false alarm.

also ishani ran up there and sid didn't? unrealistic. blocked.

ALSO, ouff ishani, you're a doctor; stop getting into a panic and yelling OMG GET UPPPPPP like the rest of us plebs.

juhiiiiiiiiiii i love you, you are bestttttt.

oh boy, what news? aaj kal "news" word se darr lagta hai, coz there's literally nothing good on the fucking news.

AWWWWWWWWWW YISSSSSSSSSSSSSS JESSI GOT INTO THE CLINICAL TRIAL IN HOUSTON!

jess ne toh 7 janmon ki bucket list bana di, and wants to fulfill it all now now now.

of course. financial issues.

sid is like “paiso ka jugaad kar lenge....”, and instantly vardhan is like biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch; coz he knows sid's about to start frauding some rich peeps around here, lol.

juhi seems to have a pretty hard to believe solution but ok. i don't wanna dwell on this reality waala problem in my fantasy feel-good show.

where dr. shashank and his tumour headache disappear off to btw? anjali, maybe you should check on him.

vardhan is such a grinch, lord. man, can you just die?

and rishabh's nice mood was too good to last as well. he's back to hatin' on sid. (for what reason????? he didn’t even do anything to you today!!!?!!?)

stop bitching about my boy like this, fuckers. keedein padein tumhare mooh mein.

NO. STOP OGLING ANJALI LIKE THIS. I HATE YOU.

ohhhhhhhhh no. ohhhhhhhh sid.

BTW WHO IS THIS GIRL WHO'S GETTING TO DANCE WITH ALL THE HOTTIES, HEIN????? FIRST RAHIL AND NOW THIS ONE ALSO???? TELL US YOUR SECRETS, SIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

fucking dumbass. wipe that grin off your face before i get into the screen and do it for ya.

lol what even is going on, literally no one else is dancing, is this whole event just an excuse for sid to get all up on all the girls around here??

rishabh is about to do mauke pe chauka, and y'know what, i'm not so mad, lol. in your face, sid.

oh ho, compliment AND apology for posters. fake as fuck, but appreciated for the moment.

lmao the fuck is this idiot even doing???? i can't watch!!!!!!

oh damn, rishabh got moves.

ghungroo nahi, tera mooh todna hai, sid. idiot fellow.

OH. DON'T LIKE A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE HUH??? FUCKING DUMBASS. PLAY STUPID GAMES, WIN STUPID PRIZES.

LMAO I LOVE HOW BOTH ISHANI AND RISHABH ARE JUST FOCUSED ON MAKING SID AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU INVOLVED IN THIS SITUATION IS SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT, I CAN’T WITH Y’ALL.

oh ho. OHHHHHHHHHHHH HO.

also aye chal na, take this neanderthal act somewhere else.

tere mooh pe na maar de yeh taali, sid?

OH HO ISHANI YOU'RE SO EASILY PLACATED. EITHER HAVE THIS AIR OF NONCHALANCE AT ALL TIMES, OR HOLD ON TO THAT ANGER.

"mera naam bade bade akshar mein likhna, sabko pata chalna chahiye ki jessi sirf jignesh ki hai!"

"tum kaho toh main tumhara naam apne maathe pe likhwaaloon?"

LOL MAN, I LOVE JESSI THE MOST.

oh boy why he sending everyone away?

ohhhhhhhhh jessi, false alarm nahi thaaaaaa. also ouff, this siddhu is worming his way back into my heart.

"jab kissi se itna pyaar ho jaaye na, toh unki koi bhi baat, chaahe woh kitni bhi badi ho, chupaani padd jaaye toh chupa lenge. unki khushi ke liye, khud taqleef seh lenge."

HEY SIDDHANT, WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK KINDA BITCHASS SACRIFICIAL BULLSHIT ARE YOU IMPLYING YOU'RE GONNA PULL?????????

fuckkkkkkkkkk, stupid boy is back in my heart even though i don't want him there, coz i know he’s about to do some real dumb shit.

"yeh kaisa function hai, itna rukha sukha, kuch karo, naach gaana vaghera..."

"vardhan sir mera mood nahi hai." lol understandable; sid ne patta jo kaat diya tera.

"tumhara mood nahi hai? tumhe anarkali banke logon ka mann behlaane ke liye nahi keh raha hoon!" ok i legit lold.

oh boy is he implying what i thought he was implying??? aur rishabh ghadde ko samajh aayi bhi ki nahi?????

SO SUBTLE. FUCKING N0OBS.

"chhe baje."

"kya?"

"jisse tu dhoond rahi hai, woh chhe baje khada hai." [ecstatic tone] "CHHE BAJE!"

lmaoooooooooooooo asha the real G. (but her accent is gone???? they should just have had chandni play a new character instead of asha. coz i like chandni, she just doesn’t fit asha’s character.)

aklsjflskjflkslkj rahil.

ohhhhhhhhhhh boy. asha wrote sid's name in her mehendi, didn't she??

mamu's here with...... mehendi for sid?

lol ofc rahil has to pour not only ghee, but also petrol, kerosene, and all other available flammable substances on this fire and uksaaofy mamu.

hein yeh kaunsa katti hai? humaare yahaan toh katti pinky finger dikha ke hota hai????

pls to leave your local katti conventions in the comments, for anthropological research purposes.

they have successfully hounded himmmmmmmm into it. sakjfkjfsljflk this ought to be goooooood.

asha toh up to bhaaaaaari kaand.

what nonsense, who gets something written on them and doesn't look???

"yeh bataa tere dil mein poori ki poori kaun hai?"

"maamu uska naam I se... I.... I... I.... I don't know maamu... kaun hai?????" pfffffffffffffft this shadyass fuck i love him more than anyone else in this showwwwwwww

lol rishabh finally figured out which salim-anarkali vardhan was talking about.

waah rishabh quite good at the emotional blackmail. yaar iss bande ko negative kyun banaya, itna masoom sa face hai iska, dil maanta nahi isko hate karne ko!

anjali rushing here and forbidding out of what looks to be genuine worry for dad's health.

MAN SHASHANK ALWAYS HAS THE CUTEST LITTLE IN-JOKES WITH ANJALI; HOW CAN SHE THINK SHE'S SECOND TO ANYONE WITH HIM??????

wow anjali is getting really hyper.

shashank, honestly, is this a good idea? you were clutching at your head/neck like..... minutes ago.

shady fucks, shady fucks, shaaaaaaaaaady fucks.

oh anjali.

"aap toh jaanti hai humein nachna nahi aata. humaari izzat aapke hawaale."

oh ho you didn't have to make it all sultry like that. Y'ALL NEED TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT BETWEEN YOURSELVES AND SOON.

does aman levy a high 5 tax as dj? har koi usko dance karne se pehle high 5 diye jaa hai.

me at all social events, wishing i was back home chilling with my cat, blissfully braless.

eventually working up to being this mad when the people i’m with just don’t take the hint that i was ready to leave 2 hours ago.

fwding the naach gaana.

but lord, juhi is so damn beautiful. if this was a different show in a different land, i'd be shipping juhi/anjali coz honestly........... fuck, the hotness.

tell me this doesn’t exactly mirror sid/ishani watching the other dance with someone else.

vardhan, burn in hell, fucker. honestly.

yup, asha wrote sid's name in ishani's mehendi.

wooooooooooooooop.

oh boy, guddu mama. THAT'S NOT THE COUPLE YOU SHOULD BE MAKING AWKWARDDDDDDDDD. FOCUS ON SIDDHU!

goood lordddddddddddd juhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. ek conversation, ek din mein kitniiiiiiiiiii baaaaaaaar dohraogi????? matbal..... upar tak lift jaa nahi raha kya????? problem kya hai? nahi batao mujhe. does he have to draw it out for you, pictionary style??? mime it charades style??? what????????

also, appropriate placement of the song's "ae le!" lmaooooooo

oh shit. grabbing.

well. guess we got a definitive answer to that one. 

welp. it's been a good 3, 4-ish weeks knowing you as a good, sorted dude with minimal mental complexes, siddhant. bade hi dukh ke saath, we'll be reverting to our regularly scheduled programming of thinking men are fucking dipshits even if (probably???) well-intentioned. 🙄🙄🙄

[thankyouforbeingsobeautiful]

spoilers for ttp season 2 ep 1 ahead!!!!!

yeah, like i said,,, here are my notes for episode 1.

sorry if they’re not coherent, i was crying most of the time lmao

hell yeah get that hillshire farm promo money  

JOAN SDLKFJSDKFJSDJLF i love her so much

why does joan saying cecily's name make me so emotional

"AGAIN"

SDKLFJSDLKFJSDFJKLF "I DONT HAVE TO TELL U ANYTHING WHEN U ALREADY KNOW ME SO WELL~~" im having a moment

the third time this month yall im-

"YOURE SO CUTE WHEN UR ANGRY"

"THAYS WHAT I LOVE MOSTSJ"

COUPLE NAME??

JJECILY JECILY JECILY JECILY

"I SHIP THEM SO HARD" IM GONNA SLDKFJSLKDJFSLKDFHAFLSDF

aw,,,,, :((

(the fact that joan still goes after her even tho she knows it's fake,,,,, secret romantic feelings hello??"

woman of the wolves is that u?? chad?? lorelei???? OH SHIT BUCKETS-

aww rupert my baby in crying

amir sounds so smitten!!!

ID MARRY U IF SDFKLSDFEHFEKLFJ POTATOES N CLOGS

oh yeah~~

im,,, that is how muCH I ADORE U

aLSKFJSLDKFJ

"true!!" aw oh my god they're so cute

"I HAVE BEEN SHIPPING THEM SO HARD" SLDJFKSDF lmao rupert and cecily are two of a kind

theyre so fucking cute

u let me win at dancingakldjflajsdkfjasdf

oh shit

dragon obedience school WHO DID HE BITE THIS TIME

disgostang homophobia fuck this

OMG rupert adopted amir's "stay calm" thing i love these fucking dorks they're so in love

pERCY

why does percy jr sound like lavinia

im gonna call him pj

he sounds like a pj

PER-CY-CUTION PER-CY-VERED im gonna die

"he's doing a whole thing isn't he"

im gonna kill him wtf fuck this bitch (he sounds kinda gay tho)

hell yeah get that sponsorship

i keep thinking pj is lavinia

MALKIA SOUNDS HOT AS HELL WTF

guess who's back back back back again gain gain

"we can deal with my thing later" aldkjaflksdjfjasdf he reminds me of draco malfoy

yeah fuck the bastard fathers

Malkia of the Magnificent Midlands we love some alliteration

goddamn the dads suck

i feel bad for her ngl she just wanted to protect her kingdom

this plot is pretty good actually

oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit

their most prized possession is each other she's gonna kidnap one of them damn

amir is my baby and i love him and oh my god i-

ISFSDFMSLDKFJSLDFEHWWJENSDGKLJSDFLKJSDGHSDKLFJSLDFIOELF NOOO FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCK

those flashbacks hit me where it HURT dude

that is painful

“who are you?” holy shit,,,, i knew that lovey-dovey attitude in the beginning was setting up for something

aosdhglasdf this credits accent is killing me

in summary,,,,,, im cryin :))

[incorrect-vrains-quotes]

all of the ignis couples (Ai/Flame, Earth/Aqua, Lightning/Windy) for the '50 otp': 1 to 50

here you go. all 50 of those questions for 3 different ships. why?

- Mod Playmaker

1. Who is the early bird/ Who is the night owl?

Darkfire: Flame is the early bird, Ai isn’t necessarily a night owl, though compared to Flame he is, but he certainly sleeps through the morning and sometimes the afternoon

Crystalheart: they’re both early birds!

Tornado: hmmm Windy is a night owl and Lightning is an early bird

2. Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?

Darkfire: Ai is the little spoon and Flame is the big spoon.

Crystalheart: Aqua is the little spoon and Earth is the big spoon

Tornado: they switch it up

3. Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?

Darkfire: Ai to both

Crystalheart: neither hogs the covers really but they do cuddle a lot

Tornado: Windy to both (and Lightning secretly enjoys it)

4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: both

Tornado: neither but probably Windy

5. Who usually has nightmares?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: Earth

Tornado: both

6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day? 

Darkfire: Flame during the day; Ai during the night

Crystalheart: hm both during the day

Tornado: both are equally likely during the day or night

7. Who sweats the small stuff?

Darkfire: Flame

Crystalheart: Earth, primarily but Aqua can be a worry wart as well

Tornado: Lightning

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pyjamas?

Darkfire: Ai sleeps naked; Flame wears underwear at the very least

Crystalheart: both wear pyjamas

Tornado: Windy sleeps naked; Lightning wears pyjamas

9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?

Darkfire: Flame makes them both coffee but Ai always has to vandalise it with cream, sugar, caramel etc

Crystalheart: they both make lovely brews of tea but Aqua more frequently

Tornado: Lightning’s too selfish to ever make enough coffee for himself and Windy lmao but fortunately Windy prefers tea anyway

10. Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?

Darkfire: Ai likes sweet; Flame likes sour

Crystalheart: Earth likes sour; Aqua likes sweet

Tornado: Windy likes both and Lightning likes neither

11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?

Darkfire: Flame likes horror whilst Ai loves romance

Crystalheart: they both like romance

Tornado: they both like horror

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

Darkfire: Flame is the tol and Ai is the smol

Crystalheart: Aqua is the smol and Earth is the tol

Tornado: Lightning is the tol and Windy is the smol

13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: Earth

Tornado: neither

14. Who kills the spiders?

Darkfire: neither as Ai is the used to them thanks to Yusaku and Flame is unbothered by them

Crystalheart: neither because Aqua nor Earth could harm another living creature

Tornado: neither on principle but Lightning might as a sadist thing

15. Who is scared of the dark?

Darkfire: neither

Crystalheart: neither

Tornado: neither

16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?

Darkfire: neither

Crystalheart: neither; in fact Aqua rather loves thunderstorms

Tornado: neither, however, the angst lord in me says purple-eyed!Windy who remembers being Lightning’s underling might be a little bit shaken by them once in a while

17. Who works/ Who stays at home?

Darkfire: n/a

Crystalheart: Aqua works since she’s sub-leader I guess??

Tornado: Lightning works since he’s leader, maybe??

18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?

Darkfire: they both prefer dogs

Crystalheart: they like all animals equally

Tornado: Lightning prefers cats but Windy has no preference

19. Who loves to call the other one cute names?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: Aqua; Earth tries but fails

Tornado: Windy

20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?

Darkfire: Flame is dominant but Ai’s a power bottom

Crystalheart: Aqua is dominant and Earth is submissive

Tornado: they’re both power bottoms however Lightning’s got the bigger, more traditionally D/s domination thing

21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?

Darkfire: Ai for soap operas

Crystalheart: neither….?

Tornado: Lightning to a larger degree than Windy

22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: they both do but Earth slightly more

Tornado: neither

23. Who asks who out on the first date?

Darkfire: Flame

Crystalheart: Aqua

Tornado: Lightning

24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener? 

Darkfire: Ai talks; Flame listens

Crystalheart: they’re very mutual but Aqua is slightly more talkative

Tornado: Lightning talks, Windy reluctantly listens

25. Who wears the other ones clothes?

gonna say not applicable for any of the ship but it might change if they all get canon gijinkas like Ai

26. Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?

Darkfire: Flame eats healthy and Ai loves junk food

Crystalheart: they both prefer healthy

Tornado: Lightning doesn’t eat and Windy has a slight preference for junk food

27. Who takes a long shower/ Who sings in the shower?

Darkfire: Ai does both; Flame does sing though

Crystalheart: Earth does neither; Aqua does both

Tornado: Windy takes a long bath but neither of them sing

28. Who is the book worm?

Darkfire: neither

Crystalheart: Aqua

Tornado: Lightning

29. Who is the better cook?

gonna say not applicable for any of these ships

30. Who likes long walks on the beach?

Darkfire: they both do

Crystalheart: they both do but Aqua more so

Tornado: neither

31. Who is more affectionate?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: Aqua in practice; Earth in theory

Tornado: Windy

32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?

Darkfire: Flame

Crystalheart: Aqua

Tornado: Lightning

33. Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ Who would wear “sin” t-shirt?

Darkfire: Flame is “not guilty” and Ai is “sin”

Crystalheart: doesn’t work because they’re both “not guilty”

Tornado: doesn’t work because they’re both “sin” but maybe Windy could have “not guilty” since he’s been brainwashed a lot

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

Darkfire: Ai is “if lost return to” and Flame is “I am”

Crystalheart: Earth is “if lost return to” (but its barely applicable) and Aqua is “I am”

Tornado: Windy is “if lost return to” and Lightning is “keep him”

35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: both to a certain extent

Tornado: neither

36. Who is the social media addict?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: neither but you could argue Earth…

Tornado: Windy but debatably Lightning

37. Height difference or age difference?

they are all height difference!

38. Who likes to star gaze?

Darkfire: both

Crystalheart: Earth more so

Tornado: Lightning more so

39. Who buys cereal for the prize inside?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: neither

Tornado: neither

40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?

gonna go not applicable because some of them should not be anywhere near children

41. Who cries during sad movies? 

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: Earth

Tornado: Neither

42. Who is the neat freak?

Darkfire: Flame

Crystalheart: Aqua is more traditionally worse for it but Earth to a certain extent too

Tornado: Lightning

43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

Darkfire: Flame

Crystalheart: Earth

Tornado: Windy has to force Lightning to

44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?

Darkfire: Flame is active, Ai is lazy

Crystalheart: both are an in-between

Tornado: Windy seems lazy but is quite active, Lightning is kinda lazy, I guess

45. Who is more likely to get drunk?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: neither

Tornado: Windy

46. Who has the longer food order?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: maybe Earth

Tornado: neither

47. Who has the more complex coffee order?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: neither

Tornado: neither

48. Who loses stuff?

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: neither but you could argue Earth

Tornado: Windy

49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?

not applicable to any of them

50. Who is the hopeless romantic? 

Darkfire: Ai

Crystalheart: Earth!

Tornado: neither but I’m sure Lightning appreciates romance in the more classical sense

[momestuck]

Let’s read Hiveswap Friendsim... volume 17!

The penultimate volume. Let’s sacrifice a few more timelines to the great tapestry of fate that we’re weaving. Or more likely, Doc Scratch is weaving.

This time, “Of Teen and Tech, Acerbic”.

One more jade, and one more indigo. I think at this point we have a pretty even spread across the non-Sea Troll blood colours.

Daraya

I thought there was a TV show of this name, but apparently it’s ‘Daria’. This troll and that Daria seem to have a similar attitude, judging by the image. As for ‘Daraya’, it refers to a handful of places, notably Darayya in Syria, which was apparently the site of a massacre seven years ago during the civil war. Oof.

Daraya is the final troll written by Cee. L. Kyle, creator of prior memorable trolls Bronya, Zebruh, Remele and Lynera. I guess Cee likes writing jades.

Anyway, Daraya’s route begins as a few have in recent episodes - the protag feeling lethargic and listless, too tired to make friends.

We end up in a cerulean neighbourhood. There are some pointed lines...

When this game wants to, it really skewers its targets.

Anyway, the music kicks in as we realise Elwurd (the huge lesbian) texted us to invite us to a party. A bunch of other trolls seem to be showing up as well...

The track this time is called “trollkind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. to obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. that is alchemys first law of equivalent exchange. in those days, we really believed that to be the worlds one and only truth”. No prizes for guessing who decided to name a song after an extended quote from Fullmetal Alchemist.

There’s some more emphasis on how artificial our friendship feelings are...

Anyway, as we approach the party, we spot Daraya, busy looking very goffick.

She’s not thrilled to see us. Of course we’d be friends with Elwurd, she says grumpily.

Now in Befriend Mode, we do our best to mimic her whole ‘disaffected slouch’. Apparently being vaguely cynical and depressed is pleasing to Daraya. She seems to like Elwurd though...

Lesbians, I swear...

I swear...

Anyway, we learn that Daraya has snuck out of the caverns - though she’s not as restricted as little Wanshi. She whines about Bronya’s ‘cloister rules’. But hey, she met Elwurd through Bronya...

We blather about how the caves aren’t so bad, and namedrop some other jades we know. Daraya is not impressed.

Anyway, she’s not invited. So our first choice is to tell her to go home or invite her in.

Let’s let her in, because the other way doesn’t seem to go anywhere interesting.

Bronya isn’t the only troll we know at this party. Chahut apparently hasn’t yet shipped out off planet, and she shows up too.

Chahut makes some remarks about how fascinating she finds jadebloods... or ‘greenies’ as she puts it. She makes a murder joke about whether Daraya is really jade or not.

Yes, that’s exactly how I’d put it. Definitely.

After that brief brush with death, Daraya gets other ideas.

Mmhmm. As we head off, Daraya suggests we have a reputation for being ‘unconventional, weird and rebellious’. That’s certainly one way to describe ‘being a clueless alien pathologically addicted to making friends’.

Ahahaha nicely done.

Unfortunately we don’t have a lot of edgy rebellious ideas tonight.

I’m in favour of being a hoodlum.

Lots of new backgrounds in this episode. Somewhat different style too...

Apparently these are by Phil Gibson.

We ask Daraya how she’s doing. Her answer: not well.

Daraya says some dangerously radical stuff about how everything sucks for everyone but the highbloods... and maybe them too. We get a callback to the joke from last time...

Ha.

The narrator refuses to comment on that. That’s a good call, I think.

Daraya continues to complain. As a jadeblood, she’s not going to have to go into space, but life in the caverns tending to matters of social reproduction. We commiserate, which she appreciates.

We raise an eyebrow at the mention of Lynera. Danara assures us that she hates her - and not in a romantic way! (“or well...”)

At that point, we run into Tyzias. Just the person to take Daraya’s alienation and dissatisfaction and forge it into a revolutionary will, right?

Luckily, protag has the same idea. Which is no doubt why Tyzias was written into the plot at this point.

The well known “goth to anarchist” pipeline, right?

There’s a brief allusion to the weird shift that happened with Fozzer - a vague memory of a different Fozzer. “But why did you remember that guy?” indeed.

Tyzias tries to give a Daraya a little pep talk against hopelessness... Daraya is not particularly persuaded.

God I know that utterly depressing feel. What can one troll do, indeed?

Tyzias answers it the challenge.

She’s not wrong.

Daraya is not exactly being won over, but the protag does manage to get her to chill a bit and keep the conversation going. Tyzias has more real shit to say.

Daraya challenges her - is it just about making herself feel better, if there’s no realistic hope of real change? Tyzias says... in some way, it is. And the protag chimes in - that doesn’t make it less effective, at whatever little it is achieving.

At the end of this, I’m gonna try and make a list like... troll I would most want to be friends with in real life, and least, favourite route and so on. Spoilers: Tyzias would be the friend I’d want to make.

Tyzias points out like... what the hell else are they gonna do? Daraya finally admits she’s got a point.

And... having secured a friendship between not just us and Daraya, but us and Tyzias... we reach the end of the arc.

Let’s go fuck shit up. By which we mean, read law books. I guess!

That was nice. I fully support this lesbian goth and her budding revolutionary consciousness.

God I’m predictable.

Unfortunately, finding the friendship route here means it’s all downhill from here.

If we tell her to go home instead of bringing her to the party...

strut pod encasements!

That was predictably short.

OK, now for the non-phoned in side branch.

She does have an idea, it turns out. We hop into our (now quite low on fuel) car, and head off to a ruined city somewhere near the thriving one we’re living in.

Ooh. I wonder what we’ll find?

We make our way to an abandoned mall to go urbexing. Fuck, I love reading about urbex. Too much of a shut-in to have ever actually tried it.

We end up in a food court with the roof caved in. It’s apparently cool as hell. Alas, it’s not illustrated.

I’m not sure which rebellion this would be associated with. That of the Signless, or some other?

Ah, that narrows it down. The Signless rebellion, then. In which case... Alternian malls are really built to last!

We comment on the strangeness of the absence of adults, but this upsets Daraya.

Apparently, as an adult, she’ll be cloistered off on her own somewhere, and forbidden to contribute genes to the slurry. Huh.

To be honest, it’s a wonder that most other trolls are so cheery. Daraya’s attitude seems like the sensible one on this planet.

Daraya says some real shit about the existential dread she’s living with, the paralysing hopelessness of having no future to speak of.

Hey Daraya, do you fancy this copy of Baedan I happen to have on hand?

make total destroy etc. etc.

Anyway, at this point... Daraya somehow manages to set the mall on fire by throwing a mall at a cooker.

And... the narrator has no choice but to leave, as Daraya lets herself burn in the centre of the mall, one of the few places she cared about.

God, this episode was a bit real lol.

It’s not wrong though. Leftist theory certainly hasn’t cured my depression (lol), but it has given me some perspective to put it in a context where it can be managed, I guess. Something to work towards, no matter how futile it may be, in this fucking hell world that created me.

In the words of 2B... “Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in a never-ending cycle of life and death. Is this a curse? Some kind of punishment? I often think about the god who blessed us with this cryptic puzzle... and wonder if I will ever get the chance to kill him.”

Let’s look to the struggle within the cycle. What else is there?

Nihkee

So now for...

Nihkee. She stronk. Keep your pants on, lesbians.

Nihkee is the creation of David Turbull, who previously made Tegiri (weeb) and Tirona (baby lawyer). Her theme, appropriately bombastic, is another James Roach piece with a long name: “lmao i still dont know if it’s nicky or nike (like the shoe, not like... the name mike)”. Make of that what you will.

This episode opens in media res - at a sporting arena. How did we get here?

We seem to be watching some kind of cage fight. Knowing trolls, I imagine it will be a lethal one.

Apparently we’re attending to Amisia. She bemoans the ‘boorishness’ of the purplebloods.

This seems to be the troll equivalent of pro-wrestling, rather than, say, MMA. However, injuries are a lot more common. We learn that Amisia won us tickets in a raffle, and invited us to this ‘Display of Muscular Theatre’.

We are watching The Huntress (olive) fight Cullpitz (purple). The narration mentions that Cullpitz is bizarrely un-clowny.

The fights are, naturally, rigged by hemospectrum. The narration notes that The Huntress seems to be deliberately holding back to avoid inciting the crowd. Amisia, however, is excited for the next competitor: Nihkee Moolah of course, who - Amisia claims - has never lost a fight.

Cullpitz wins the fight, and causes The Huntress a likely permanent injury. The protag feels sick enough to have to step away. But as we leave, we get drawn into a conversation with a violetblood (seadweller). He promises money (nah), fame (no thank you) and at last, friendship. And the deal is sealed.

Unfortunately, Nihkee’s opponent is dead. Which means... he wants us to take their place. Having an alien will make big money for the ring.

Let me guess: the choice is gonna be to refuse this terrible plan or go with it.

Maybe, but not yet...

We meet Nihkee, in the middle of working out. Some of these trolls are dressed more for MMA than pro-wrestling but who knows.

There’s a meta joke in the narration.

She is not best pleased with the showrunner for interrupting her prep. Though, I get the impression it’s all in the spirit of showtrollship.

Sure are some muscles. I’m not entirely sure what the [()] typing quirk is menat to represent exactly. Probably not a yonic symbol?

It’s worth noting at this point that all of my knowledge of professional wrestling comes from reading the TVTropes pages a couple of times. If you’re curious, it’s an impressively comprehensive discussion of wrestling terminology and the various dynamics involved in its production.

Kayfabe is the way wrestlers pretend in their media appearances that pro-wrestling competitions are not mostly scripted athletic performances with exaggerated personas, but genuine fights between real people who actually act like their stage characters. Now all the fans fully understand that wrestling is fake (but still fun), it’s not taken as seriously, but apparently it was a huge deal back in the 70s. Give the article a read, it’s fascinating.

Nihkee is not particularly impressed by the suggestion of performing with us.

We protest. At length.

We get the first choice: are we ready for a BUTT CLENCHING, FLESH ABRADING, KNUCKLE BLISTERING, MUSCLE RIPPLING, SMACKDOWN FROM UPTOWN?

Of course we fucking are.

She gives us guidelines for the show. Basically: follow her storyline. “The alien invader challenges me in an exhibition match to TOPPLE the MIGHTIARCHY.” We struggle, but eventually...

...PREVAILS AGAIN!

(I guess to convey suitable drama, a lot of Nihkee’s dialogue is split between multiple dialogue boxes, which makes it a little hard to take screenshots.)

We ask if we’ll die. She assures us no - unless we’re especially weak. But even then...

Well, that’s a great reason to die. Sign me up.

Secondly, an “exhibition match” means we will not be challenging each other for positions on the “flexeladder” - otherwise we’d have to wrestle nude, like at the “Intergalactic Trollympics”. I’d count that as a blessing.

We bring up the question of face and heel. You can read about these on tvtropes, but the narrator does a pretty good job of explaining.

In troll society, of course, the traits we’d ascribe to a ‘heel’ are valorised. So we’re just going to get crushed under her heel. Indeed.

Time for the match. The showrunner does the announcement for Nihkee.

In a clear allusion to good old Equius, Nihkee’s entrance is accompanied by a shower of thrown glasses of milk from the fans.

And opposing her whole deal is...

“Some messed up lowblood alien”. Huh, usually when I go into an arena fight in games I’m the “mysterious stranger”. Who could have seen this coming?

Ah, that’s what fate was working towards this whole time! Thanks, Doc Scratch, for your dedication to the cause of wrestling.

So, naturally, we’re playing the foreigner. Here to prove our superiority to trollkind. TVTropes naturally has an article on this: the Foreign Wrestling Heel. We’re going by the book here.

We put up a good bit of bravado. But are we prepared to face, Nihkee demands, her...

OK, you got me. I’m laughing out loud again.

The protagonist puts up a pretty good show, it seems like - barely dodging Nihkee’s attacks in a suitably dramatic fashion. We bleed, but the narration suggests that under the stage lights, the trolls will take it as ordinary ‘rust’ blood and not ‘mutant’ red. We hope.

Nihkee invites us to attack with appropriate pomp. But we...

...don’t do that, not directly. We springboard off the edge of the cage in “a classic clothesline manoeuvre”... and get knocked the fuck out.

But we haven’t reached our second decision point yet, so that can’t be the end of us. Hopefully we gave the trolls what they wanted.

Do we even have a fourth wall anymore?

Anyway, this turns out to be Nihkee’s hive. She is not impressed at our ring performance - getting knocked out by our own attack. Well, that’s fair.

Training montage incoming?

Hell yes. (She calls everyone sister, including the announcer guy, in case you’re wondering if that’s an implicit gendering of the protag.)

She’s brought us to her BRAWNISEUM. As we can see in the illustration... it’s pretty much made for Space Marines to train at.

After her speech about our indomitable will and potential, she invites us to ASCEND with her.

Hell yeah. Let’s [S] ASCEND together!

Of course we fucking take it.

We start with the acid treadmill. (The acid doesn’t seem to be depicted.) She turns it up... a bit fast.

We manage to run at 12 miles per hour - which is about bronze level good. Apparently all the machines rate us by blood colour. While the low end of the hemospectrum gets the badass psychic powers, the high end gets the physical strength, it seems. There’s more jokes about how great our legs are - they merit a cerulean!

All the while, Nihkee ‘encourages’ us in a way that’s gendered in the opposite way that things usually are on Earth.

After half an hour of that, she gives us a protein shake... except it’s not a protein shake but ‘gatorade mixed with milk’. Amazing.

Then we get tested for ‘pressure resistance’ in a soft iron maiden. Apparently that’s olive level.

The overall verdict?

Hooray.

We do more of this - including getting chased by a literal toothy monster. By the time we finally collapse...

She’s impressed by our commitment - our “strength of heart and soul”. And our great appreciation for the MOST RIGHTEOUS OF PURSUITS... earns us the recognition of “workout friend”.

And that rounds out the arc. Presumably after some more of this, the narrator will be due for a return to the ring.

Go us!

Easy arc to find the right answers in, evidently. Now to see what happens if we hesitate.

First of all, before the match...

We can’t watch as she pulls out lowblood challengers from the audience and smashes their faces into the spikes. Oh, trolls. We get treated to an image of this, too.

Mmm, indeed.

Now, if we hesitate later before the workout session...

She dismisses us - unworthy of her gifts, unwilling to reach our full potential.

She tells us to get out of her sight. The narration steps in to make another meta joke (that’s like three this arc?)

We get a fake out fade to black and the first note of the end card music... but then!

...GET RIIII(...)IIIPPPPPED! In our own way.

D --> Hmm, 100k at this e%tremely subtle reference.

Anyway, that someone turns out to be... Stelsa! And Tyzias, who happens to be present. There’s a brief discussion of a fast food service called ‘door smash’, and Stelsa’s love of scheduling. They’re cute together.

But let’s get down to business... to defeat...

...our own flimsiness.

Stelsa’s into it.

Then we hang with her and Tyzias for a bit. We suggest Tyzias might consider energy drinks.

This arc then extends over... a long time!

Multiple weeks! And the training seems to be going well...

It’s almost as if ‘drill sergeant’ isn’t the ideal demeanour for a coach after all.

But as we go to show off our progress to Nihkee, the question of this being a non-canon branch leads us to hesitate.

So we decide to ‘blitz our chakras’ to try and work this out. We put on some ocean noises (which leads to a change in the soundtrack! soft music starts playing, seguing into the menu music) and... start imagining some metaphors.

In our reverie, we slip beneath the surface of the river.

Things get kind of meta. I’m just gonna take a bunch of screenshots because this seems... important.

The images of failed branches, all these catastrophes, blur together on top of each other.

We are implored to ‘find our river’. And we find the two branches of the current route... one sounding much more inviting than the other.

Then things get REALLY meta.

And then we get the rest of the arc in some kind of summary form, all in this... letterboxed? That’s not the right word, but whatever... all in this view. Nihkee is not pleased to see us. We come up with the idea of sneaking in.

It does not seem to end well.

She chases us on one leg and we escape by getting her run over by a train. But she becomes a cyborg coming to chase us down, terminator-like. Yeah, seriously.

NIHKEEBORG spends a year hunting us across the wilderness. And eventually... she catches us. We die.

And coming out of the meditation, we decide... not to do that. We just go to Stelsa’s house instead, and let Nihkee be.

Oof.

God, you never know what you’re going to stumble onto in this game. That was amazing.

Next time: FINAL CHAPTER.