#guess I'll just fuck off this plane of existence

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

I hate getting excited about something and accidentally sharing it with someone when they're in the wrong mood to hear it. Makes me feel like a dog trying to play with their human in an antidepressant commercial and ruins my entire mood

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Bumblezzzz - Thoughts

This episode airs on TV tomorrow, but was released online in the PBS Kids Video App. So if you're planning on watching it on television, or unable to access the videp app, you may want to scroll off for spoilers

I was aware some bees come in blue (hi Martin). But GREEN???? The fuck?

The epitome of "waking up and choosing chaos."

I envy Chris's organized manner.

Bros went from Salamander Streaming to a Salamander Snack ☠️

This raises - so many questions and thoughts.

Apparently there is a "Villain Weekly" magazine that is sold in copies? I mean there's a Finding Your Inner Villain Seminar so I guess that tracks but... just how many people are stanning, supporting, and funding these villains who, I should specify, NEARLY FLATTENED THE AMAZON. You can't just... walk backwards from that without a serious career-and-possibly-life-ending PR disaster.

(Actually I just remembered that Elon Musk exists and has his share of supporters despite how awful he is to the point where it borders on cartoonish, which I guess kinda tracks here)

2. The magazine has a picture of Donita on it, which implies that it's about her. Why would Donita have a COPY of a magazine featuring her? Why would she have to buy it. Do I not know enough about advertisements in the magazine industry?

3. Why would Donita trust Zach with anything? ANYTHING? He regularly gets his inventory mangled by the enemy every week as a result of his own ineptitude and often steals whenever said inventory is too shitty for his own good. She really shouldn't be surprised that he forgot to give it back.

4. Donita canonically lives in New Hampshire. Zach lives in Massachusets. That is an hour and a half away just by driving. Even if Zach isn't by his mansion, still he could've just flown his plane over to Donita's mansion. Or if he was too lazy, he could've hired his bots to do so. Inversely, Donita could've just come and have the manequins collect.

5. DONITA THREATENING ZACH WITH MOB VIOLENCE BY SICCING DABIO ON HIM IF HE DOESN'T RETURN THE BOOK WHAT THE HELL???

I feel like I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, this is the same person who quite possibly forced Martin to undress and into new clothing whilst he was in suspended animation in her debut appearance (and also sicced Dabio onto him when he resisted), nearly drove lemurs to extinction all over a dress in the Season 3 finale, attempted to skin salamanders alive for a fire-proof suit in S5, and oh yeah, was instrumental in the attempted destruction of the Amazon Rainforest. But still, this was so out of nowhere, and the fact that Dabio smiles; (and remember, according to Season 3, his ancestors have been working with the Donatas for generations, so this shit was a family business) This one scene, if all others haven't, single handedly manage to show Donita and Dabio as arguably the most brutal, nasty, and vile villains. It's just one scene, but I see these guys in a pretty different light now.

Also, I mentioned this before. If she's willing to do all that previous stuff mentioned above for her own gain, if she's willing to do this to Zach over a petty book loan, what the heck is she gonna do to Paisley when she finds out about her betrayal? What's she gonna do to Rex if he eventually redeems himself?

As someone who has made it my legal obligation to analyze the timeline in Wild Kratts, I will definitely say that this episode takes place on June 20th, the first day of the summer season. That means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I don't even think I should explain how terrible of an idea this is.

This is plain biology and a fact of life, but since they missed the opportunity to make a Bee Movie reference, I will take this as such as compensation.

Because I didn't say it earlier, I'll say it now: Bumblebees are so. Fucking. Cute.

AAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

Not enough screengrabs to convey this but the brothers are obviously trolling Zach here and I love it.

For all of you angst writers, here's some new ammo. Because I'm fairly certain that this can unoequivically KILL a human being if bumblebees were as big as us. In fact between this episode, and the next episode, Chimpanzee and Me, I'm convinced that the only reason Zach's robots are henchmen is so that the brothers can get away with being as violent as fuck towards them in so many beautifully creative ways without any actual bloodshed.

The fuck even is this episode 😭😭

CONCLUSION:

PROS:

The humor, once again, is amazing. It didn't get in as much laughs as the previous one, but still.

The Bumblebee Suit. It's such a breath of fresh air from the more uncanny looking Creature Power Suits in the modern seasons

Bumblebees are indeed highly endangered. It's good that this episode brings light on that and how important it is to protect them

CONS:

This entire episode's plot goes by... way too damn fast. Seeing the bros immediately get themselves into the jam, and then also immediately seeing Zach, and even the brothers quickly explaining bee features to Aviva. It all feels like this episode is just on fast-forward, even though it's a regular-length episode. It really could've been paced better.

Zach's motivations are stupid as ever, and he is at his peak bitchiness here. But again, the fact that such cartoonishly bullshit evil like this happens in the real world (which WK cleverly delivers a giant middle finger towards), and the fact that Zach gets his ass kicked for his genuinely awful plan mitigates a LOT of damage.

Final Ranking: 7/10. Still pretty good. I've been anticipating a Bumblebee episode for the past year after seeing leaks of a magazine featuring the Creature Power Suit, and it did not disappoint.

[tachimichishrine]

Q6yuquqjq YOU'RE LIKE THE PERFECT TACHIHARA FANFIC Y/N WRITER I FUCKING LOVE YOU MATE❤️❤️❤️❤️ I have one silly offer, and ofc ofc I'll wait my sweet time for u to drop it (probably wait for decades like I'm so invested). Can you do some...fluff like the reader is so inlove and has been dropping hints to tachi. He knows but he wants the reader to say it to his face instead of hints.with the silly lines "I ain't a patient man, say it to my face" QJKSJSJS IDK HOW TO WORD IT BUT U CAN DO IT!!!!

<QIUQ8UE8U2WE (i'm the only tachihara fanfic writer sooo,,,)(unless i'm not...)(if there's someone else who writes for him pls tag me im desperate....) BUT RAH I FKIN LOVE YOU MORE YOU SEXY AHH ANON,, your offer is not silly it is majestically ethereal it deserves to be framed and hung in the louvre it belongs on a higher plane of existence... im so sorry it's short BUT URGH THE IDEA IS SO GOOD >

"impatient"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

tachihara michizou x fem! jouno's sister! reader

warnings: none! take the fluff and frustrated tachi and flustered reader! (obviously some mild cursing and intended lowercase >///<)

it was a mistake, a terrible mistake that led to this.

"listen up, you bitch," tachihara seethed, pressing the tip of the gun against her temple, "this is our turf and you have no business being here."

"look sweetheart, this is all a misunderstanding," she said coolly, despite her heart pounding in her chest and the cold metal wrapped around her wrists.

and she wasn't lying. the series of events that led to her being tied to a metal chair somewhere in the port mafia's infinite supply of basements were peculiar, difficult to explain to the man who was threatening her life.

"any chance I could explain this all over some drinks?" she suggested with a chuckle before he dragged the gun down to her neck and pushed it up under her chin. "sheesh, okay, I guess not."

"having fun now, aren't we?" he nearly spat in her face, looking disgusted. "let's see how much you laugh when I put a hole in every one of your limbs-"

she shushed him then spoke in a whisper. "I think they're gone now, you can lay off the act."

tachihara sighed out of relief and moved to take the cuffs off of the detained woman.

"you're a real pain in my ass, you know that?" he whispered back, watching her get up and stretch her limbs. "I told you not to show up here."

"I'm sorry, I got carried away! I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd say hi... never thought you'd have another mafioso with you."

"you're gonna blow my cover," he said plainly, earning a pout.

their relationship was complicated.

jouno [_____], executive at the most notorious criminal organization in yokosuka, a city south of yokohoma, who still traveled back and forth for some occasional business. her current position was formerly filled by her brother saigiku, who left the underground in order to join the hunting dogs.

she, on the other hand, stuck the criminal route and even maintained contact with her sibling throughout the 6 years without ever switching sides. he never spoke about her to his colleagues except for a single grumble under his breath on one occasion where teruko was out of control, saying she was acting just like "his delinquent sister".

the matter was laid to rest until the first day of tachihara's infiltration into the port mafia. supposedly, since he had no street credit and would look extremely suspicious, she was his ticket in. she wasn't doing it out of the goodness of her heart (she was paid by the hunting dogs after being recommended by her brother), and yet tachihara found that she'd taken less than a week to get him accustomed to the underground life and put in a good word for him with the port mafia. she acted somewhat unprofessional at times, but there was no denying that she was good.

a little too good at times.

he was given impossible missions, to begin. the kind of things that set you up for failure unless you were a prodigy or had insane connections, missions hand-delivered by mori or any executive to test the new recruit. the first time, he was supposed to go and threaten the foreigners that had settled in on the edge of town and gotten themselves too comfortable with yokohoma. he relayed the information back to the hunting dogs, and jouno happened to mention it over the phone to his sister. she jumped in, ready to intervene before tachihara went in guns blazing and found himself confronting the notorious bulletproof brothers of brazil. she even told him where to buy knockout gas and gave him the rundown of the crime groups of the region.

once he got more familiar with his environment, she was needed less and yet contacted him at the same frequency. sometimes it was for essential information, other times it was for "company", as she put it. the ambiguity made it so that he didn't have any other choice but to respond to all of her calls.

tonight, she was in yokohoma for some business and decided to pop by and say hi. unfortunately, she did so right as he was having a chat with chuuya and they were caught in a peculiar situation. they played along, her pretending to be caught and him pretending to not know who she was while the executive spat in her face and asked what she was doing in this part of yokohoma. tachihara took charge of the situation and promised to find out, which led to them both roleplaying in the basement of the port mafia.

"oh, come on, you're gonna be fineeee," she tapped the tip of his nose, giggling without a care in the world. "chuuya knows I travel 'round these areas, and he's gonna catch wind of the deal I just closed earlier tonight, too. just tell him that and all's well. cheer up, tachihara, it's the underground. no one cares that much here."

he grumbled some kind of confirmation and watched as she held his hand and they both turned to human vapor. his consciousness paused momentarily and he came to a few streets down, wobbly on his feet as if his muscles were liquified.

"what the fuck, I didn't say—"

she shushed his protest, nodding her head to the motorcycle parked in front of them. "oh come on, stop complainin'. I'd ask you for drinks but most of the shops 'round here are mafia-owned and you'd be paranoid about gettin' caught, right? so hop on, I'll take ya to the other side of town, but you're paying, got it?"

"shit, you're gonna get me—"

"drunk. now hop on, pretty boy, we've got places to be."

he complied with a roll of his eyes, mildly pissed but unable not to reflect back the playful attitude she was giving him.

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the ride was rather long, but damn him if he complained.

she had her body leaning around the tank, legs constantly at work shifting gears and shifting their weight as the motorcycle sped up drastically. she didn't offer him a helmet, not even a jacket of any sorts, since she'd never crashed before. she whispered, "hold on, even if we're about to crash, and you'll be fine," and he didn't have any room to complain or ask questions.

her ability to turn herself and any objects directly in contact with her skin into vapor greatly resembled her brother's, but proved so useful in the sense that she could control herself in a gaseous state, floating around a room and gathering intel almost completely invisible, which made her such an effective executive. tachihara put two and two together and figured she'd evaporate both him and the bike if anything went south.

nothing went wrong. in fact, the fear for his life got him wrapping his hands around her waist and burying his face in her back. when he loosened up, she would do a dangerous maneuver and his grip would tighten once again as she laughed maniacally.

she laughed about it some more when they were finally inside the lounge owned by her own organization, sitting in a booth in the corner so that it was unlikely anyone would notice them— even if they did, she had the kind of authority that made it feel incredibly dangerous to even think about tattletalling. apparently, the sadism ran in the family.

"you really freaked out when I swerved around that huge truck," she giggled, taking a sip out of her mystery drink and sliding the glass over to him. "want a sip?"

"what is it?" he questioned, still drinking without waiting for her to respond. his face scrunched up in disgust and he pushed it back. "yurk, what is that? can't believe you drink that shit voluntarily."

"hey, it's my favourite flavour!" she frowned and punched his shoulder. "I'll tell them to charge you double for everything 'cause you deserve it."

"isn't everything we order free? I mean, since you practically own the shop, that's what the guy at the front told you."

"shut up, I'm trying to make a point."

the evening was quiet, almost no one around except the two of them. she asked how her brother had been, and he asked the same thing since he hadn't spoken to his coworkers in quite some time. she gave him more details on things he needed to watch out for, and then listened to his updates with enough attention that neither of them noticed her body gravitating towards his. by the time it was too early in the morning and the place was closing, their shoulders were practically rubbing and she was close enough to kiss him.

it was all she ever thought of. she lied to herself, said she was checking out the bandage on his nose and her gaze just dropped down to his lips while he spoke. staring long enough for him to notice - that was the plan - except he didn't seem to notice at all, or at least he pretended not to. laughing loudly at every semi-funny joke he made, distractedly taking her bottom lip in between her teeth, tilting her head when he spoke; she was running out of hints to drop. the only other thing she could think of was carving "I love you" into her forehead and praying he doesn't spontaneously go blind.

how dense can a man be?

she had a driver drop him off back in yokohoma; her heart ached when she waved him goodbye and goodnight.

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she couldn't stop thinking about him, day and night, and it was getting out of control. she would zone out in the middle of meetings and her colleagues were noticing. she explained that it was just some personal stuff, not that her chest felt hollow whenever she thought about him, not that she was catching herself thinking of gifts to get him, not that she was atrociously in love with him.

months, she spent months trying to drop hints. she had felt like she might accidentally evaporate when she had called him "pretty boy" for the first time, but he shrugged it off as if she hadn't said anything. once she got comfortable with that, she got touchy, and still no reaction. over the past week, she texted and called him nearly every night and even fell asleep on call on a few occasions. she checked the call log and he hung up nearly an hour after she drifted off, long enough to signal that he was listening to her snore softly but not long enough that he could've fallen asleep accidentally as well.

she kept losing hope as she thought about it, then regaining the confidence after seeing him again. it was getting unbearable.

"saigiku, I'm losing my mind," she said, sitting down at a bench on the pier. her legs kicked back and forth, and she sighed into the phone. "I don't understand guys. help me out here."

"ugh, don't you have girlfriends to talk about this shit with?" he groaned in annoyance on the other end. "I don't know. men are stupid. hope that helps."

she mimicked him. "thanks bro, you're tons of help."

"well, you won't tell me anything about the guy so I don't know what you want from me. either suck it up and say it to him or move on."

his advice wasn't bad, but it was simultaneously obvious that he couldn't care less. she rolled her eyes and changed the topic, instead listening for what felt like hours while he ranted about his dumb colleague. she wondered whether the jounos were really just bad at understanding people.

once the call was over, she took a deep breath of the ocean breeze and closed her eyes. nearly falling asleep on the bench, she was roused by her name being called out, a familiar voice.

"hey, tachihara," she smiled softly at him, seemingly exhausted (from all the nights spent rolling over in bed, thinking about him).

"you said you had intel?" he takes a seat next to her, trying to play it cool in case they were spotted, despite the light fog and the lack of anyone being out this late at night.

nodding, she handed over a folder filled with the information she collected about the next inspectors in yokohoma, the ones who were going to try to naively take down the port mafia and ultimately fail.

"they have a few operations going on, one about your buddy hirotsu. they might start digging into you too, and you don't want them finding out. deal with them as if them finding your identity was a death sentence, because it might as well be."

the information was true, but nothing in the folder was important. she just wanted to see him again.

"so..." he leafed through the papers, "anything I need to look out for?"

the millions of hints I keep dropping you.

"nothing particular, I think. they'll probably aim for more important mafia figures, so you'll be glossed over as a new recruit. someone experienced will likely take care of them before you need to."

"okay, thanks," he made the motion to get up, but stopped himself. "...are you in yokohoma for long?"

"just the night, my driver's picking me up in a few hours," she smiled reassuringly at him. "why?"

"huh? no reason, just wonderin'." he got up this time and nodded at her. "thanks for the drop, you didn't hafta do that."

I'm in love with you, you fool, of course I did.

"oh, it's not a big deal. anything for a friend."

more than a friend. fuck, you look gorgeous in the moonlight.

she caught herself watching his back as he walked away. her hand reached out, as if to physically catch him as he slipped away, then she cursed herself.

"hey, tachihara? are you in a rush to go anywhere?"

he turned around and shot up a brow. her smirk felt genuine.

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the idea was stupid, to combine both of their abilities together to try to get the best view of the night sky. no city light in their way as they stood a few hundred meters from the ground. she beat up the metal roof of a small car and pulled it off so that they could place it on the ground. they both sat down on top of it, one of her hands holding him while the other's palm flattened out on the sheet of metal. evaporating; within seconds, they were among the clouds. she warped them back and he activated his ability to carry both of their weights.

suspended in the sky, suspended in time.

"never seen the stars this clearly before," she murmured, feet dangling over the edge as she laid down. "living in the city really takes away from the small things, doesn't it?"

"guess so," he said, doing the same as she did.

silence. nothing except the breeze and the frigid air and their breathing.

"the stars are beautiful," she said, dumbly, not knowing what else to say.

"yeah," he responded simply.

more silence. she could've sworn he could hear her heart pounding.

"...is it heavy to hold both of us up?"

"not really."

it was getting painful.

"shit, it's cold up here."

"uh huh."

she wasn't lying, it really was cold. but at least the numbness in her fingers took over for the numbness in her mind.

"should we head down?"

"sure."

she held onto the plate, then reached for his hand. she hesitated. it felt like she was always making the first move, always trying to do something, and now it was feeling all wrong. she just wanted him to confirm anything, tell her anything, anything at all.

she got over herself, took his frozen hand in hers and brought them back down.

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she took her brother's advice and got over herself.

of course, she still filled him in on anything he needed to know and she occasionally tried to talk with him, but it was as if he was purposefully avoiding not only her hints, but anything at all that she did.

so, she was quite surprised when she found that he'd left her a message telling her to show up at a bar in between the two cities that evening.

her leg bounced uneasily while she sat at a table, drinks already ordered but her glass toyed with between her fingers while she waited. thankfully, it wasn't long before he arrived, amber eyes catching hers from across the room.

"hey," she smiled, trying to repress the butterflies and keep a level head. "what did you— huh?!"

tachihara had grabbed her arm with a tight grip, firmly pulling her up to her feet as she complied, confused.

"ow, lay off my arm— I'll follow you but where the fuck are we going? I ordered drinks, y'know, feels like a waste..."

"will you shut the actual fuck up?" he interrupted again, now pulling her outside of the bar completely and pushing her against the wall. "are you fucking stupid?"

"what the hell? what's wrong with you, tachiha-"

"I'd ask you the same thing. look, I'm not dumb. I can practically feel your heart beating out of your chest right now."

"wha-"

"look, I ain't a patient man. just say it to my face."

it took his stern expression, the way he was almost trapping her against the brick wall of the building and looking as serious as she'd ever seen him to realize that they were both thinking the same thing.

"what, do you wanna hear that I like you? you're gonna make me sound like a lovesick schoolgirl," she chuckled, using humour to envelope her confession so that whatever came next would hurt less. or so, she hoped.

"not good enough."

she narrowed her eyes at him. "the fuck do you mean, not good enough? I've been trying to drop you hints for the past century and your dense ass wasn't having it, all of a sudden you're acting distant, then you're pulling me out of a bar and asking me to confess to you? fine, you wanna hear about how fucking stupid I am around you? you wanna hear how I read over every message you've ever sent me before I go to sleep, how I can't do shit without seeing something that reminds me of you, how I feel like I'm going to combust into a thousand fucking pieces whenever I see you smile at one of my lame jokes? you wanna hear about every time I told myself I'd say something and then I back out of it? you wanna—"

she stopped talking as soon as his hand wrapped around her neck, fingertips intertwined with her hair and thumbs running upwards along her ears so he had a good enough hold to pull her into his lips.

maybe it was everything she'd ever imagined, or maybe it wasn't. who cares. he was kissing her.

she didn't know what to do, how to kiss him back when he was pressing into her like he wanted this as badly as she did. her body went along with his, allowing him to push her harder against the wall and kiss her deeper. it didn't end, her lips opening up and panting softly into his mouth while his tongue took over. he drew pictures of her into the roof of her mouth, and she was drunk on his spit by the time he pulled away.

"fucking finally," he breathed out, chest rising and falling against hers.

"I'm so goddamn confused," she giggled back, "not that I'm complaining."

"you didn't just drop hints, you threw them at my fuckin' face, [_____]. I was waiting for you to make the first move and you didn't, so I tried somethin' else to see if you'd get sick and tired and finally say it. but you didn't, and I wasn't gonna wait any longer."

"you could've just asked me first, you dipshit."

he grinned that stupid, smug grin she couldn't get over. "yeah, but then I wouldn't have heard your little speech there."

"oh, fuck you." her words didn't match her actions, grabbing handfuls of his jacket and pulling him in for another kiss.

for an impatient man, he felt like he waited his whole life for this moment.

[simptasia]

Tell me all about LOST all I know is from Dane Cook

that is. such a funny sentence

aw shucks, its tempting, but i don't wanna give ya spoilers. and there are truly things in lost that must be experienced by your own flesh

...yes im aware of what my blog is like

so i guess i'll give a vague spoiler free overview

so. a group of plane crash survivors find themselves on a mysterious island and have to deal with the strange happenings + their weight of their individual traumas

the show is serialized and one ep more or less flows into another, so literally no ep can be skipped (no matter what anybody says) or else you'll miss something

its a large ensemble cast, ranging from the 13 to 20s range, all in all i think theres like 35 main characters

the show follows a flashback structure, each episode dedicated itself to a main plot on the island intercut with flashbacks to one character. we call these centric episodes. eg. this is a jack centric episode. sometimes an ep will have multiple characters have flashbacks in one ep. while this show didn't originate the concept of a large cast or flashback storytelling, it did popularize it in the early 2000s. so a lot of post 2004 shows wanted to be lost so bad and it shows

at first lost was a survival show but they gloss over this very quickly and its more about the weird shit going on. as time goes on, plots and mysteries stack up. this is to create intrigue, as the shows main focus is an endless parade of character studies. with the added bonus of some cool and twisty shit going on too

but because lost had so much plot, over time it got accused of being confusing and convoluted and Not Answering Questions and well. your mileage may vary. but i think its confusing if you watch it too slowly. like, it aired over a 6 year period, no wonder people got confused. its better to watch nowadays, way easier to handle

the genre of lost is: drama mystery action paranormal sci fi romance with a dash of comedy. lost is full of the saddest fucks you'll ever meet but the show contains enough levity and great colouring to make it not a huge misery fest

pretty decent racial diversity. next to no LGBT rep. more women than the average tv show. then and now

the score FUCKS

not a single bad actor in this entire show, the performances on display are fucking outstanding. and every emotion is like up to 11, which is great for my autistic brain

for those of you who find sex scenes to be tedious, i have a bit of trivia for ya: all sex in LOST happens off screen. not a single sex scene to be found. pre sex, yes, post sex, yes. making out, yes. but sex itself? footage not found. i'm neutral on the concept, i just thought that was something to point out

i highly recommend lost to, like, anybody. ever. its a masterpiece of television. even the low points are better than most shows. sometimes i take lost for granted and then i watch any other drama series and im like "oh right, lost is incredibly good"

its my third favourite show. and thats only cuz star trek and doctor who exist, and nobody is beating those fuckers

anyways do you like to see beautiful people cry and scream but it isn't cringe?* well, i've got a show for you! *okay there is some cringe. as a treat. the leading man of this show has the social grace of a cold pancake (affectionate)

thank you for your time

[totheidiot]

why i would be the avatar of the following entities

post heavily inspired by the wonderful mutual who is @cult-of-the-eye ❤️ i missed the entities who i couldn't figure out what my connection to would be. the list is in alphabetical order for organisation. a few heavy topics ahead? but i try not to get too detailed with it. post is basically my connection to the fear entities and correlating my life experiences with them.

one. the corruption : i kid you not, if i was actually an avatar, this is who i would be. without a single doubt. let's see, not to going to get too in depth, but my best friend died of dengue a while back ya da ya da ya da after she died, i fell in love with her. disease. love. fucked up stuff. you get it.

two. the desolation : there was a fire they would burn outside my old school, to burn garbage and all of that. after a particularly difficult day at school, i would always walk over there and sit myself near the fire, just stare at it. sometimes i would burn little things like paper when i was feeling very angry. that pit of fire was a friend and i had liked to watch it burn. also self-destructive behaviour.

three. the end : refer to the corruption bits. my best friend's fate would tie into the end for me. also, my most major fear, ever since i knew about the concept of having a fear, was the fear of losing loved ones. so.

four. the extinction : okay, so last year, i believe, a thing happened in my city in bangladesh. for a night, the power of the entire city shut down. no electricity in any household, the generator was shut off, not even cellular data was working. so i am talking, no lights, no internet, not even a way to call by phone. load shedding, we had to use candles. it was a weekday night too, streetlights weren't working properly and there was no way for my father to contact us to tell us that he was safe. my mother thought that the prime minister had left the country for us to suffer. pure chaos. basic technology would not work, ovens and refrigerators needed an electrical connection obv and phones were useless. i was talking about this event and the post with my sister the other day and she suggested to add this to the dark, because no light but i feel like it fits the extinction way better for reasons i cannot formulate.

five. the eye : quiet, perceptive friend who just looks odd. you know the type, that was me. i was obsessed with gathering knowledge, i had a random fun fact for every subject. i prided myself with knowing a little about everything. furthermore, i have got this uncanny ability to just Know people's secrets?? okay suppose, my friend has a secret and she's hiding something from everyone. like it's a totally small thing, she likes someone but she doesn't want anyone to know. chances are, i will know. whether it's by observing their body language or thinking it over or just lucky guess, i will know. and the thing is, i will pretend not to know too. girl decided to tell us about that crush i will act shocked like everyone else, for no reason and then i'll go up to them in private and be like, "hey, i knew it. i guessed it last week."

i don't have anything for the meat related fears (fortunately?)

six. the lonely : *puts on a presentation on why i should be a lonely avatar and goes to the first slide* your boy has Social Anxiety. but in all seriousness, isolation, loneliness, it's all second nature to me. i get bothered when people are with me and even then, it feels like they are not? like people will be talking near me and it would feel like i am not even part of their world like. it's like watching a video of people talking like i am not involved in that, even though they are right next to me. they will try to include me in their conversation maybe, but that's not where i am? how can we exist in the same plane?

seven. the spiral : this is a fun one ! most mutuals probably already know this because i talk about it so so darn often but irl, most people actually call me the idiot ! all of my friends from bangladesh, almost every classmate calls me the idiot, to the point where i actually rarely used to hear me real (albeit dead) name spoken out loud. this kind of ties into the "there is no such thing as a real name" thing. also sometimes, late in the night, i will see and remember things and wake up the next day to find that it never happened ever. once, i was talking to my mother and i mentioned her like going to a hostel because she told me stories of how she attended a hostel in eighth grade and she starred at me. she told me that she had never attended a hostel and i was like, yes?? you did?? you always told me about jt?? and she was genuinely scared.

eight. the vast: talked about this once before but once, i was listening to the magnus archives three in the morning, it was one of the space episodes. got scared and suddenly, i had that urge to look out the window and i saw stars. in a light pollution world, where seeing the moon is uncommon, i see five or six stars. still to this day, do not know if i was imagining things.

that is it for all the spooky happenings that are happening.

[greenlightbulbonawire]

Misfits (yeah like the Arcane song)

XXXVIII.

___________________________________________________

Summary: From the dark musty cell of Stillwater all the way to the very base of Firelights, but where to from there? Guess you'll just have to let fate lead you.

Author's note: I like summer, but what I don't like is getting fried by the fucking sun.

previous chapter: Thirty seventh chapter

next chapter: Thrity ninth chapter

Masterlist

___________________________________________________

"Scar! What was that?!"

"No idea."

"We need to check it out!"

"[Reader] no, what you need to do is stay the fuck here. Scar, you wait near the entrance, we'll have to wait for the lookout to come back."

People were starting to gather outside and low chatter replaced the sudden noise of an explosion.

"Everyone calm down!"

"We should go see what happened!"

"No! We'll wait for the lookout to come back, go back to what you were doing! I'll call for you when I have information."

Okay, so that's how it looked like when Ekko actually took on the role of a leader. Wow. I mean.. whaat?

"Come get me when they show up."

Scar nodded to the leader and walked away to the entrance, waiting for the lookout group, which you didn't even know ever existed.

"Aight, let's go back?"

"I mean. Sure?"

Ekko gave you a curt nod and left to go grab a hoverboard, not wanting to climb the stairs again, leaving you waiting in front of the tree. Well, that washed over quickly. The leader was already flying towards you on the device, reaching a hand out and pulling you onto the board without stopping.

It would've been actually very smooth if you haven't lost your footing and forced Ekko to balance the both of you.

"Dumbass."

"Shut up."

The machine stopped on his balcony and you both hopped off, a lot more gracefully than you got on.

"You wanna pick up where we left off?"

"Of course! I can't wait to pry more information out of you."

"Ya know you can do that without taking shots of whiskey right?"

"Yeah but where's the fun in that?"

"Okay fair enough."

You grabbed the bottle and Ekko went into his room, emerging a few seconds later with a bottle of the foul tasting liquid.

"Still don't understand how you can drink that."

"Says the one who wants to take whiskey shots."

You rolled your eyes and slammed your ass on the ground. The boy joined you, setting his bottle next to yours.

"So, you wanna start or? "

"You're the one who came up with it, you start."

"Okay well uhhh... I dunno, all I can think about is fucking inappropriate."

Ekko chuckled softly at your words.

"That's fine by me."

You played for a bit, but both of you ran out of questions pretty quickly and the liquor started to get to you, Ekko still judged your choice of drink but he himself was slightly on a different astral plane. You were both lying on the ground, starring up at the leaves and the sky.

"Okay, I have another. Never have I ever slept with someone on the first date."

"Ekko, for the last time. I haven't been on a date. Ever."

"Gee, sorry. I forgot your whole personality is that you spend half your life in prison."

"That's mean tho."

"So what? You're no fun."

"Is your idea of fun sleeping with someone?"

"Yea? Yours isn't?"

"No?... Why would it be?"

"I dunno? You're hot."

You reached for your bottle again, accidentally bumping your hand into it and spilling what remained of the drink.

"Aww man. Wait, what did you say? You think I'm hot?"

"What if I do? You think the same about me."

Why was drunk Ekko so removed from everything, it was actually kinda funny.

"How can you know that?"

"You stare a lot."

"I do not!"

"Do too."

The entrance stone rolled open as Scar pushed it away with ease, letting in a pair of Firelights back in. He motioned for them to stay there and wait and turned to go get Ekko. The man took a hoverboard from them and flew to the leader's balcony.

"Ekko?"

"Scar! Hiiiiii~"

"[Reader], hello? What are you two- are you drunk?"

"Scar, is the lookout back?"

The bat eared figure turned his attention from you to the leader.

"Yes, come."

"Not here please."

"[Reader] just stop speaking, he didn't mean it like that. Just, wait here."

You groaned a responce and the two men left. Time slipped out of your consciousness and it felt like two seconds before Ekko came back, but that was probably becouse you fell asleep.

"The council is gone."

[witchersmistress]

Stolen by the monster part 5

hello my darlings!!! i have brought part 5 to you, after i procced to rip my hair out trying to get my brain to work with me.

Warning: violence, revenge 😈😈

word count: 1.2K

Note: i did update it a little, my firdt round of edits was horrible!!

as a reminder, i do not give permission to use my stories or work without asking. if you do ill haunt you for the rest of your days...

August pov

It was a calculated risk but one that had to be taken. I was needed in Paris and I'll be damned if I let you out of my sight. So off to Paris we went, did I feel Ethan hunt closing in as I loaded you onto that cargo plane. No if I had, I would have better protected you and our little one.

I’m watching you sit on the patio, book open on the table, a hand on the soft swell of your belly. I finally managed to put a baby in you, twins in fact, I'm pretty sure that you were going to kill me when you found out. The following morning on the estate was quiet, too quiet for my liking. I did a sweep after I spotted you walking the grounds, but I saw none of my men, where the hell were they? I didn't like this not one bit, I made a dash for my gun when your scream ripped through the cool morning air. '`No '' I seethed, hitting the red alarm button on the wall locking down the estate, “Sir ambush on the northern side”  one of my men barked as I slid the earpiece in and made a beeline straight for you. “ Its Ethan Hunt sir and hes got the girl” the fuck he did, no man will touch her and live to tell the take not even her own father.

“Stop him by any means necessary, but do not harm her, I'm on my way” I heard multiple yes sirs back but I disregarded them all as I ran down the terrace stairs and towards the northern side of the property. The sounds of footsteps followed behind me, my men catching up. I skidded to a stop just off the beaten path and hid in the bushes waiting and watching. You were there, completely unharmed but not alone. My dark cable knit sweater hung low on your shoulders but still managed to come down to mid thigh on you.

Your hair hanging down your back in waves, clutching something to your chest as you stepped back from the man approaching you “Come with me sweetling” it was Luther, you'd know his voice anywhere “We are here to take you home” you stepped back closer to me, “Take me home? What makes you think I want to go home?” you stood your ground, with a stubbornness that i knew all too well “Come just grab her '' chidded a distressed british accent, Benji. Should have guessed Hunt wouldnt come without them.

Luther turned back and shot him a glare “No Benji we don't want to frighten her more” turning back to face you petal he held out his hand “Come on let's get you home to your mom” with your slightly turned posture, i could see your lip quivering with emotion. “Don't do it Petal” I whispered to the wind, “I’ll always find you.” Dropping the book from your chest to just the front of your stomach, the man in question appeared. “Sweetie, come on i'm taking you home” and the anger towards that man that was buried is  ragging beneath the surface, turning more so i could see more of you, your bump successfully hidden by my sweater clenching one hand around the book and the other into a fist and your knuckles were white “Look who had the nerve to show up. The man who saved the world time and time again but couldn't bother to pick up the damn phone and call your own daughter, you knew i existed!! You seethed, you skin flushing from the heat

“Boss' ' my soldier nudged to my right, I pinned him with a death glare." What "I spat, still watching you from the corner of my eye. The guy swallowed “The cars are here and in position” I nodded and looked back at you and damn, the fury and anger covering your face and body language, it made me hard. I watched as you pointed a finger right at Hunt and then stomped your foot like a petulant child, fuck it was so hard to focus on the task at hand when all i wanted was to bend you over and spank you for being a brat, i dont give a damn who sees.

You swing an arm out gesturing back to the house and you caught a glimpse of one of my men with a smirk, you knew I was there. I small smile graced your lips as you turned back to you “father” 

“Listen, it's not that I didn't want to..” Ethan began but was shortly cut off by a sharp slap across his face by you. My god you really did hate this man.. “You do not get to sit here and lecture me about  safety and protocols, you kept tabs on mom for years.” he stood there just watching, Benji and Luther looked like fish out of water, mouths open and everything.  

In the short time that I've actually had you, you are not who I thought you were. I thought you were a princess being raised by your mom alone, always on the move, but you were, you're an orphan who had no one, like me. Till I found my home and now your home is with me. you were my pretty little burden, but no longer you are something more, much more.

Focusing my attention back on you, my little one, you had moved closer to us, you had your hand behind your back, counting down from 5. That was your signal telling me when to move. “Please don't, I can explain, but I am begging you, do not go back to that man, he isn't who he says he is. I watched your fingers slowly drop from 5, to 4, 3,2,1 but i wanted to give you this moment

“No Ethan Hunt you are not the man you say you are. August Walker is more of a man than you’ll ever be.. I cannot wait for him to bring this world down around you and watch how you fall” with that final statement, i leapt from my hiding spot and snatched you by your waist , passing you back to my men  “Go little one, i'll be behind you shortly” you nodded and took off with my men. “Hunt” I said turning to face him “I’m her guardian angel Hunt, you had your chance, she is mine now, know when you are beat” i backed away slowly and darted out after her.

you were getting in the car as Hunt broke through the woods. Jumping in the driver's seat, we took off, gravel and dirty flying as we went. I looked in the back to see the fear in your eyes, as you looked back at your father chasing us. “Hold on” I said through gritted teeth taking a turn around a sharp turn. The vehicle was on two wheels when we were crashed into by another car, sending us flipping and rolling over. I braced myself with my hands on the ceiling desperately looking back at you buckled in and supporting your belly. The last thing I recalled before the world turned black.

[ghostlyhamburger]

Husband Watches Miraculous: NY Special

[does this one have an actual name idk]

OK this is definitely after season 3 because of the box.

Why did they do a Marvel version of the theme? you can't tell me that's not inspired by Marvel.

Okay so they store the powerups inside the thing?

They really tried to go all out with the updated animations didn't they?

Her hair is actually black this time! it looks really good.

Okay that's the first thing that I saw that's super out of character.

Some of these things are textured really well but some are just not. Look you can see texture on her clothes, on the bricks, on the ground, and then BRIGHT GREEN TRASH CAN. It just makes no sense.

This is gonna be a long hour.

Why did they increase Marinette's bust size?

What the fuck was with the way that beard was moving? It's like they didn't want to move the anchor point on the bottom. They anchored it to his shirt is how they modeled it.

Why do they keep changing Marinette's hair color? Why is it darker in the school lighting?

I think I know why this seems so hard to place in the timeline. Its production seems to start at the beginning of season 3 but they definitely got the bible. So they just didn't see all the development Marinette had in getting over her obsession with Adrien over the season.

This whole little bit about Marinette's obsession doesn't need to be here if you've seen the series. Its purpose is only for those who haven't seen the series, which is unneeded because who's gonna watch just for this? It's not a movie. if I skipped the next fifteen seconds nothing would be missed.

When has New York ever been considered romantic? I guess if they watch a lot of American Hallmark movies? But New York is dirtier and dingier than Paris.

They actually made Gabriel look good in this. Like I get how he's supposed to be a silver fox type. He's got a bit too much Justin Bieber face for me, but the hair works for him. I can see how he'd become a celebrity in Paris.

"I'll be keeping an eye on him." If Adrien was a sentimonster under his control, he wouldn't need to keep an eye on him. He could just keep track of him with the miraculous. Like, Mayura was able to track Feast.

Also why is Nathalie in the bed? didn't they fix the peacock? Oh wait she was still super weak and life force isn't easy to regenerate once it's been drained like that.

Oh they've got best girl here.

I think I already see where the entire plot of this special is going. She's gonna be upset at Chat because he's not gonna be there when a sentimonster attacks and she's gonna be upset and debate giving up her miraculous because that's been the theme of the episodes lately and the American heroes are going to somehow be bitches.

[We're only 10 minutes in.]

Gorilla doesn't like planes.

All right so it's not going to work because it's not a sentimonster alert.

How is the eagle going to help you beat Ladybug and Chat?

Marinette, just know when to stop talking, please.

Again, a nice little moment that would be really good.

5 seconds on the plane and she's basically assaulted someone.

Nice use of symmetry and mirroring each other.

Marinette is not having a good day.

Why did they give her such an ass in that shot?

That's actually a pretty good moment.

No. Alya no.

I do like how they call out their weird animation quirks of like. Marinette arms. It's fun.

A convict with a jet engine?

So normal magical and villain type things exist already.

Okay that is just Superman. That's just Superman outfit and Superman theme.

Another thing I don't like is all the infodump. There's a better way they could've introduced Uncanny Valley than Alya's random exposition. She was answering the question of the audience without being prompted to. And it throws me off.

"It's time to show these American heroes how French heroes do it!" NO. NO.

He's not a superhero. That was his entire bit. Also what's he gonna do, endanger everyone by opening up the emergency hatch? You have no superpowers, you have no gadgets, what possibly are you going to do here?

As an introduction, I like this.

It's like they wanted three teachers, one to be nice, one to be crazy, one to be strict, and then they shoved two of them into one character. It doesn't work.

Hot Dog Dan? So he's ... a hot dog vendor?

All right, the dancing is a cute little callback.

Okay I like the new animation style, the very American comic book. but can no one just leave Marinette and Adrien alone? Let them just be awkward together!

Can we get to the catastrophic failure that will lead into the less lovey-dovey shit?

So they're trying to say Lafayette was a holder?

Is that one of the self driving Tsurugi cars?

Wait we've seen the akuma butterflies phase. Why is there no consistency in the rules?

"There's artifacts left by people who unveiled the statue" So there's a miracle box there, right?

Solitude is just Mr. Pigeon!

Doc Ock. Huh. With replication abilities.

Door powers are actually pretty cool.

Now it's finally getting good! Can always count on Hawkmoth to interfere in the right way.

So why is Hawkmoth going after the sabre when the claw thing is very clearly the Miraculous?

Ahh. That's why.

They're still being quite efficient even though they're pissed at each other.

[Aeon is cataclysmed] You have a miracle bomb! It can literally reset people!

That is the smart decision. They don't know each other's identities. Also the American heroes don't have the authority to do that!

I dunno I feel like the reset should have gone through to the other area. When villains have changed in the middle of the episode the reset still works. And when there was the copycat Ladybug she used that one's lucky charm to do a reset bomb. So I call bullshit on that. Also I don't think Paris is still destroyed when we come back to it. So...

"If Uncanny Valley hadn't been a robot I would've caused irreparable harm." Except people have literally died, disintegrated into nothing, converted into energy, and brought back with no issues. So no, it's not irreparable harm. And this is so heavy handed!

The emotional flip flopping here is not great.

[hearing Liiri's ability] That's an incredibly busted ability. Her power is literally limit break.

Why are they having this argument right next to the French students? That just seems stupid.

Let's just steal a bike! oh, safety first

"Adrien I love you" Okay that's just cruel to the people who were watching this.

Yep that's actually what I was expecting.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GUNS? Oh right America.

I really like Jess and Aeon's characterization.

Okay I like the skateboard.

This should've just been a movie. It would've been better with time to do all the stuff going on.

Okay that's a neat little trick.

Why does this one hour episode have more musical types than the entirety of the game that came out?

[Ladybug hugs Chat] Okay that was a really cute moment.

Oh is he just gonna launch nukes at everything?

Trading cards, really?

Yeah see Paris is repaired already

"At least let me see what's inside the safe!" It's a miracle box. it's gotta be, right?

I like [Eagle's] outfit.

Was she gonna toss a piano at a pigeon? [Haven't you wanted to do that?] Yeah...

To the sun? To the sun.

Throwing things to the sun is also a Superman reference.

Why do you need more Miraculous? You only need two, and they're not going to help you, you don't have anyone to give them to!

Paris was not like that when they were visiting.

Okay. This should've just been a three part special episode. It tried to shove so much in so little timeframe and over half the thing was just pointless grandstanding about the stupid will they won't they. And I bet that while people loved that Adrien I love you moment, he couldn't fucking hear it and that's the only thing we're gonna get 'cause fuck these producers.

If the pacing was the same throughout, it would've been really good, but it came out of nowhere to the point where they turned up the speed of people speaking to fit it in. A lot of things got super rushed through and I really wanted to see more of it but I know I'm never going to because the producer of Zag sucks!

[joy-drops]

this mf long so don't tell me i didn't warn u

been in a rut for over a year

something something autistic burnout

idk the cause or the solution

just trying to survive each day as best i can

easier said than done when everything that brings me joy (ha) is behind a pay wall

that's capitalism baby~

found out fauna is going to the only anime convention i can attend on a reasonable budget.... but im already so broke....

I'd shell out the cash (debt) if it meant guaranteeing a spot at the meet and greet but they might not release info until too late when plane tickets are unaffordable ;_;

i wanna look forward to something because sustaining my sanity on retail therapy and getting high definitely is losing its effectiveness

brain always returns to the loneliness. i know its crippling but how much of my struggle is from that and how much is from my disability... they're both invisible which makes it hard to tell

would having a partner help that much? my gut tells me yes since ill have motivation to live if i have someone to share existence with but that feels like putting all my eggs in one basket and setting myself up for an unhealthy relationship

i like to think i won't fall down that path of toxic codependency like i have in the past tho im not crazy confident based on my track record

Which reminds me I've realized how appealing polyamory sounds to me but I'm terrible in groups I feel like I'd be overwhelmed with more than 3 (including myself) tho who knows what can happen

REGARDLESS i guess i gotta talk to people and make friends since i am incapable of socializing with the intention of dating (trust issues yippee)

i wish i had a crush at the very least. i bring this up often but i fucking miss the feeling of legitimate interest and attraction towards someone

How do I meet someone, become comfortable enough with them, and ultimately find a partnership that satisfies my insane desires???? maybe I'm putting the cart before the horse? Tackling too much at once? Something like that...

Imma be real the only reason I'm active on here is another mechanism to cope with this loneliness (akin to listening to asmr for instant happy brain juice + with the added benefit of "putting myself out there")

My strange fantasy that I'll meet people on here like I did years ago and magically hit it off

AAAAAAUGGHHHHH how did I do it back then it seemed so easy what happened to my social skills (trauma, probably)

How is it I work 2 days a week and am still drained constantly? when will I be free from sleepy bitch syndrome? it's like I've been running on fumes for the past year WHEN WILL I HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE AGAIN

i miss having someone to talk to frequently about everything

i have my besties but unfortunately knowing there's no sexual or romantic attraction there makes it hard for me to get past these barriers?? Is that weird? I wanna be able to be intimate with someone and close but for me that's intrinsically tied to sex and romance. I'm overflowing with platonic friendships to the point where I had to cut off a bunch and leave many people I care about hanging because I simply have no energy to exist anymore

I've been doing my best each day but it only gets harder

The only thing I have energy for is getting high and living inside the fantasies my brain can muster as a means to cope with how lonely I am

I dream of being hugged, of someone touching me, of being accepted for all my flaws and reassured that my existence isn't shameful. I live for the day these might become reality

Since as long far back as highschool I've yearned for intimacy

Physical intimacy specifically since the most I've done is hold hands and lil cute things like that I CRAVE SKINSHIP UNLIKE ANYTHING ELSE

Anyway if anybody made it this far hi feel free to confess ur undying love 2 me

[namtanlovesfilm]

how would you personally rank Off's characters?

also Gawin's and Mond's characters

I have a full post of me ranking off's characters already! but here it is for mond & gawin :)

MOND:

sun (midnight motel): ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS PERFORMANCE!!! carried the show!!! slayed beyond all expectations!!! truly incredible as the villain, one of my fave acting performance EVER I loved it so much. also sun in himself is the most interesting villain I've seen!

namnhao/namnuea (the judgement): shit show with problematic tropes but mond ATE!!! him as namnhao is not only unrecognizable & absolutely adorable, but really had some fucking top tier acting!

badz (boy for rent): the role that started it all. made me fall in love with this cutie & unable to ever go back. badz is hot af, the only character that didn't annoy me at some point during the show & the acting is very good.

kluay (water boyy): the first role I saw mond in!!! kluay honestly carried the show, he's so fun & flirty & cute and we love him in this house!!!

gram (not me): I love gram, but not the storyline he was stuck in for the whole show. I love how political gram is, how much he can be a debate-lord at times lol, and even that he's a scaredy cat. I LOVE the way he spits on dan when he betrays the gang & how he hugs sean after he gets shot. I LOVE his banter with nuch & will forever be a gramnuch stan. however, I didn't like how withdrawn from the rest of the gang they made him in order for him to pursue eugene, who looked uncomfortable the whole time & was his best friend's ex. gram had so much potential, but sadly he ended up being my least favorite character from not me bc he got the short end of the stick. mond did a great job though!

tee (the underclass): kinda forgettable show tbh but tee was a very cute love interest & I watched the whole show just for mond so slay!

matt (kiss me again): even though kiss me again is legit the worst gmmtv show ever made with ugly duckling: pity girl & turn left turn right, and matt's love interest is THE FUCKING WORST, he was kinda sorta okay I guess. to be frank I forgot everything from this storyline bc the way his love interest wanna prove he's gay is YIKES.

dodo (saneha stories: bar host): a hot, struggling stripper who becomes a literal dad??? if the show wasn't so short & rushed this would be way higher, mond ATE!

term (ps: I hate you): a hot dummie who forgives lies for love, which... couldn't be me lol so he's there.

por (fabulous 30): I really liked fabulous 30, and it wasn't because of the main character played by mond. por is bland AS ALL HELL, pushy & disregards his best friend's feelings, and he just... gave us nothing. at least he's cute thanks to mond's good looks though :')

GAWIN:

pisaeng (be my favorite): so it's very hard for me to decide which is my favorite gawin role, simply bc imo pisaeng, dan & mork are all my faves for very different reasons. but I will put pisaeng here bc I literally don't see how anyone could dislike him? like he's perfect but not boring & does have struggle, which we LOVE around here! also the depiction of him finding his sexuality in bmg ep.5 was INCREDIBLE I loved it so much!!! so pisaeng will be number one (for now!)

dan (not me): now, dan is on another plane of existence for me. I literally adore him & am a dan apologist THROUGH & THROUGH bestie. I genuinely think he's one of he most interesting characters I've EVER seen, and that makes it so he shouldn't be in this ranking. he EXCEEDS this ranking! I absolutely adore imperfect characters & I think the depiction gawin gave dan was perfect. BUT dan also gave me THE MOST PAINFUL betrayal scene in existence that literally has changed my dna TO THIS VERY DAY, so just for that I'll give him the number 2 spot :')

mork (dark blue kiss/kiss me again): girllllllllll, my heart aches having to put mork in number 3 bc I LITERALLY ADORE HIM!!! I was a huge dbk stan but since then I've legit rewatched the show only for mork lol, I absolutely love him & he's an amazing character! so as I said previously, mork is number one in my heart on a equal playing field as pisaeng & dan, I can't choose!

saifa (enchanté): literally the tiniest role but he was hot af AND played a guitar rendition of offgun's too cute to handle on the show???????? AN ABSOLUTE BLESSING THANK U! also he legit played cupid for akktheo so slayyyyyyyy!!!

mile (girl next room: motorbike baby): honestly better than the actual love interest cpodiuygsuichdisucodihb, hot & ALSO plays guitar (duh), too bad that he's a cheater lmao!

xxx

[mocacheezy]

11ish y/o me, fuming in my room after once again emptying out the piggybank holding my birthday/holiday cards money, because mom needed money for gas, only to never get the money back: "When I'm grown up, I'll be able to save all of my money and use it the way I want, and I won't need to feel bad for saying no!"

Me now, at 23, emptying the fund for GoToWife for the 6th time in 2 years, because mom needs to borrow the money for a really important thing:

She always gives back the money in full nowadays (eventually), and she has helped me many many many times, but in a way it just feels like "saving money" never changed. The only difference is that now instead of 60€ I might crawl to 600€ before she turns to me for help.

It's just... Frustrating.

And the fun thing is, refusing to lend money when it comes to family is very much a way to get told to fuck off in case you ever need help yourself.

Doesn't matter how often it is. Doesn't matter if you have plans. And it doesn't matter if people have told you "better save up fast or [Name] will start taking the rent payments in full".

Gee, thank you ma, as if taking a 50 out of there because I need to eat isn't stressful enough. As if me trying to save up and coming oh so fucking close to actually getting somewhere, to be able to apply for a visa and get the stuff I need before I can even buy a plane ticket, and then life saying "Guess what? No travel for you!''... As if that isn't already a kick to the heart. I wanted it so badly. I still want to visit her so badly and instead all I get is once again having to empty that fucking piggybank, and count how close I was to atleast getting a ticket. I can't yeet over there with 0 money either, but by fuck... By fuck.

I am just so fucking sad.

I need to go to sleep so I can sob about this to my psych tomm because yea... Tommorow is ALSO the last appointment before a one month hiatus due to her absolutely well earned and deserved vacation time... And there will be A LOT happening during this one month.

I ordered some skincare products yesterday, so here's hoping I end up at most biting my nails and not scratching my fucking face open. I did it two days ago and I would rather not deal with infections and similar type of bullshiet.

I am just. So fucking sad and the fact that even little purchases or treats I buy for myself make me feel guilty because "this could be saved for my trip" can still be justified because inevitably THIS KIND OF SHIT IS GUARANTEED TO HAPPEN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN...

I am just gonna cry for a while now, wake up, wash my face and then find a way exist for a month and keep believing I will get there.

... at this point I'm starting to understand why I get anxious any time I get money on my accounts because ofc my brain goes into "SHIT, I NEED TO SPEND THIS STUFF NOW OR IT WILL BE TAKEN BY FAMILY FOR X REASON."

... fun.

Anyways, gnight to me, to this vent and to any poor fucker who clicked read more. I give you a cookie and I'll munch on a lemon biscuit in my dreams.

[themidnightcleric]

TW death, transphobia, blatant suicidality, ableism, terrible thoughts u should not indulge

vent post

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..I actually don't think no one loves me. I just fundamentally believe they're wrong and will inevitably be disappointed when they discover I am a husk person not a real human being and that's my fate and believe or not most of this is related to ADHD bc I can't fix it or stick with anything and all the meds make me sick so I feel doomed to do fuck all until I rot and die. Every time I get hopeful my body betrays me. Fucking MCAS.

Icannot emphasize enough that I will take myself out of at least run off into the woods to try and live like an animal, if something does not change in the next 2 years to make it possible for me to exist in society. Like getting disability j guess would help. I am a dog. Not a person. I cannot give anymore.

it is not worth living this way. Every day is an endless punishment for all the things I cannot do and at this point the pit is so deep i will not get out.

And so like posting in this way and alienating myself are a way of pushing everyone out but simultaneously hoping somehow the cry for help will reach someone who can genuinely help me. I know this isn't me, this isn't the bigger spirit that animates me speaking this is the thing that wants to kill me, but can't even show itself to the people who say they love me. We have seen too much and the desire to destroy something significant is getting stronger. I guess this is an admission I understand su*cide bombers and crave going out burning a bank or a church or a detention center. simultaneously a desperate plea for someone to show me some kind of other way that isn't this plodding, hesitating half life. Two of my friends before I left my home state told me I should have been dead by now. I know what they meant and it's great I am alive but I don't see a future other than death. It's so close, so intimate. I go to sleep with death every night waiting for her. The funny thing is not many people I know closely have died. If they had it actually might be easier like I could live for them. But instead it feels like I'm the one who is supposed to die. I live with that every day and I know I'm not the only one but with everything that's happening I no longer can believe things will get better. I'm just trying to do as much good as I can before it comes for me. I don't see anyone who really needs me here. Or wants me bad enough to merit staying. Like it's all pipe dreams, could have beens, obligations. Fake. In the clouds.

I haven't been real since I was a kid.

I'm sorry y'all. I'm really sorry. I don't know if it will even matter when it happens. Like a candle burning out. Who is gonna notice beyond another little wave of sad posts. Currently I'll probably be buried by my family as a woman. They'll say it was inevitable. I was always so mentally unwell. Kill me and blame me for it.

I have so many ideas and so much passion but no discipline for it and frankly I feel like a piece of paper god put a sketch on and crumpled up and threw away. Like that episode of Gravity Falls where Dipper clones himself and there's a Glitch Dipper who everyone sort of feels bad for until he dies. Two headed calf. All I have ever tried to be is kind while people saw more in me than I could give or sustain. At least I got to see the stars.

My soul is good but it can't live here on this plane right now. It doesn't want to. All the people I love are fighters who metabolize everything into medicine and power for the future or at least stick around hedonistically. I am not built like that. I find no pleasure in pleasure. I am weak and too fragile to exist by myself and at every turn am reminded of this. I try to play it off as kink or funny but really, I don't think anyone can survive the level of self erasure that my system has developed.

My friend keeps telling me to play Disco Elysium but it's 40 dollars and I have to save all my $ for gas and credit card payment. To be responsible. Why do I even fucking care. I'm scared if I stop caring anymore I will just let go and become fully catatonic.

Hopefully this is rock bottom and somehow I will bounce up into a new perspective tomorrow. I pushed myself into burnout because all this messaging online about Palestine and genocide is like you aren't doing enough and that really really works against my ability to do anything like the PDA I cannot help and have been fighting my whole life to just like, brush my teeth. I can't watch these people beg for help and so many turn away in hatred and then not even make phone calls. I am trying to look for the helpers but I think the fascists want to kill all of us.

It's gonna take a miracle to get through this winter. I wish I could show somebody how desperate I feel. The pills are right there. I never get rid of them. I could do it tonight. But I won't.

I don't know how long you have to scream for help. I don't think it helps anyone. People fall down the spiral. Maybe there is something to live for for others but for me, it's all conjecture. I have full responsibility to bring about everything that I could live for. If I give up, it doesn't happen. If I give up, the good things in this world go on without me. No one ever knew me really. I feel so fundamentally separated & invisible.

I'm mad I feel this way and am wasting my life talent and time. I am tired of being depressed and low key a shitty friend. I am ready for God to take me and use me for some new form of life that has a fighting chance to be something.

If only that weren't just a delusion. I wanted my life to mean something and leave a mark but at the end of the day this voice tells me it's not even worth that, that no one will remember me.

Pathetic. Jesus. How do you fight this.

I'm tired.

I'll keep fighting another day at a time. But there's no way to be okay right now. I have to live with this person the world has made me into and let go of who we could have been with more love.

[a-moment-to-breath]

I hate this girl.

She's struggling.

I hope fate puts her face in the dirt.

No sympathy for me.

No sympathy for you.

I'm not interested.

I hate being interested for your sake.

I hate that you care about her even as a friend.

I hate that your trying to make her day better, that isn't your fucking job, you didn't do that for me.

I hate you seem to know oh so much about her.

I hate that you become animated when you talk about her but when I sent you a doodle you didn't appreciate it, got on to me for not watching the show.

I hate that she makes you smile when I can't seem to fucking do that.

I hate her, I want her to fucking go missing, I want her to dissappear, I'll help you mourn but I want her to be gone from this plane of existence.

I have a lot of hate and you just put a target on that poor girls spine....

God i can't wait for this bitch to fall off.

Idk if I could ever meet her.

You, Daley, daily, dolly whatever the fuck or how ever the fuck it's spelt.

It would have been fine but you fucking had to ask her out didn't you.

You had to turn my crazy on.

You had to press my one button.

I don't even fucking know you but know you aren't safe.

You should fucking disappear before I get my chance girl...

It's not healthy to hate someone you don't know like this.

Guess that's why we write it down.

[cyberphuck]

(Not you sweetie, you're amazing and perfect) Shut the fuck up with this "if you're not actively pissing on a cop's shoes then you don't get to reclaim slurs" shit. We reclaimed the slurs for ALL OF US so that ALL OF US could use them, not just the ones who "do the work." You do to the work so that OTHER PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO, you fucking anal yeast infection. THAT IS CAPITALIST BULLSHIT. I HAVE MADE THE BREAD ON MY OWN BUT I WILL SHARE IT WITH THOSE WHO WERE UNABLE TO HELP BECAUSE I AM NOT A FUCKING MEGASOPHAGUS WHO EXCLUDES THOSE MOST IN NEED OF MY KINDNESS. How DARE you claim you're anti-ableist. Literally, fuck ALL THE WAY OFF, like pack your shit, book your tickets in advance, make sure to clear your cookies so the airline doesn't charge you too much, aim for the middle of the week for the best price, check in 24 hours before the flight, arrive at the airport at least two hours in advance, get your tickets from the kiosk, go through the security line where you have to take your PROBABLY STUPID-LOOKING shoes off and stand in the whirly thing, awkwardly try to gather all your shit from the gray bins and get out of the way so you're not holding up the line, find a place to sit down and put your PROBABLY STILL STUPID-LOOKING shoes back on, walk three miles to your gate, get there and realize there's still an hour and a half until departure, buy a $57 coffee even though you'd told yourself you weren't going to ("oh, well I GUESS if all they have is Starbucks I'll get one, but usually I only drink ARTISAN BREWS from STUPID FUCKFACE COFFEE COMMUNE"), plug your phone into one of the charging ports at the gate only to find that they don't work, hunch in one of the uncomfortable chairs, look up as the gate starts to get crowded with people, listen to 89 announcements from the gate lady as people crowd around and forget how to form a fucking line, stand around and glare at your phone as people with first class tickets get to board ahead of you, sigh irritatedly at the 15 people whose carryons are way too big and they KNEW it but they were gonna try to get on with them anyway and now they have to check them at the gate and it's taking forever, worriedly watch a woman with a small child board along with you and pray that it doesn't start crying because you ALREADY have a headache, find a seat and buckle in, listen to the flight attendants explain and re-explain to people how to put their stupid bags in the overhead bins and how it's "a very full flight" so don't just jam it in any which way, get up and slide out into the aisle so the guy who paid more for the window seat can get by you, make awkward eye contact with him for a moment and give him the White Person Smile (tm) before settling back in, grunt as the person in the seat in front of you drops their seat back practically in your face, listen to the flight attendant talk about emergency exists and the floatation devices because even though you've heard it before but you're lowkey afraid if you don't pay attention then this'll be the time you need that information, stare out the window where you can just barely see the runway crew loading the bags into the cargo hold, breathe a sigh of relief as the engines finally start up and you taxi to the runway, turn onto it and hear the engines wind up to a roar, get pressed back into your seat as the pilot brings you down the runway, feel that weird lift as the plane gets airborne, and relax as you're finally on your way to

FUCKING OFF

Posting faggot and queer like 2am gunshots to keep property values on my blog low and scare away assimilationist LGBTs who want to replace my empty lot full of native wildflowers with a 5-over-1 because they're too traumatized by their upbringing to accept the reality of our diverse marginalized community

[strangesmallbard]

okay i just watched an episode of call the midwife that made me abruptly confront several grief-related traumas at once and i feel the need to talk about them, like make everything exist outside my head and join the human experience, or something. please feel no obligation to read this or respond but if you're going through The Grief yourself, know you're not alone.

tw for death, cancer, suicide, alcoholism

i lost three people in a year, and didn't really get to say goodbye to any of them, and that's like? fucked up doesn't describe it LMAO. i lost my grandma and a work supervisor in june 2019, and my dad at the very beginning of 2020. my grandma died in her sleep; she was 89, so it wasn't unexpected, just sudden. she was very anxious toward the end of her life and we didn't have many meaningful conversations. i wasn't medicated or grown up enough to have those conversations, and mostly i wish i'd validated her deep anxiety about death and her anger at her own body when it stopped working. right now i'm acutely grieving her house - it was sold a year later, and i don't think i'll ever forgive my uncle for that.

my supervisor died by suicide. we weren't very close, but he had a strangely large place in my life - he was previously my college professor several years before and i chose that school because of his work in particular. he was also the first out gay person i saw at my school during orientation, and that memory's always stayed with me as i formed a community there.

the last time i saw him was a work event the night before (opening night of a play - i worked at a theatre company.) we sat next to each other and i noticed he seemed sad, tired, or off. i was annoyed with him about a work-related thing that doesn't matter anymore, but i was still friendly because i always try to be friendly. i hoped he was alright. a few days later, my other supervisor told me what happened. he was a kind-hearted guy who was passionate about his work and changed many, many lives for the better. i think about him a lot.

my internship ended right after this without much fanfare or Unpacking. i just left a grieving community and dived right into my first gig, basically running on fumes lmao. my internship was very, very toxic, and i wouldn't realize it for another year. i didn't think about my grandma or my supervisor. i spent the whole summer wanting to call my supervisor and talk to her about what happened. she came to watch closing night of my play, and we didn't talk about what happened. the next day, i plunged into a Huge Depression involving an alcohol dependency and eight seasons of house md.

as i vaguely began to exit my depression, my dad was deadass. DEADASS. diagnosed with stage four lung cancer from smoking cigarettes. like omg. DUDE? the last time i saw my dad was at my grandma's funeral!!!! fucking on the nose. anyway. he was diagnosed in early december 2019, after seeing a doctor for back problems. the back problems were several tumors. everything happened very quickly. the last time i saw my dad alive was in a hospital parking garage on december 24, 2019. we hugged goodbye, but not Goodbye. he was in a rush to get home because he was sick from radiation treatment. i don't remember our last conversation at all.

my mom and i got the call he was dying after i schlepped her to urgent care for a separate medical issue. my mom was too zonked to get on a plane, so i went to the airport. five minutes after i got there, i learned he passed. it was very crowded. i canceled the ticket while crying, and i didn't explain why i was crying. my lyft driver asked if i had a good trip. this now strikes me as hilarious. i learned that his family let him know i was coming. this was likely the last thing he heard. i can't really sum up my dad in a sentence, but he was brave in his own way, a great storyteller, and loved me very much. i wish he realized we had a lot in common, and i wish we had more time. thanks for the adhd dad

anyway, guess what happened in march 2020! yeah shit's been weird. most days i'm honestly fine, and then i remember i designed my dad's headstone (it looks banging) and he'll never meet any kids i have. in three months it'll be three years since we last spoke and i hate that. i'm a very different person, and i've only become this person because three people in my life died in the same ten months. my mom's also been sick and it's a very particular kind of lonely. wow this was cathartic! if you made it here, i love you. if you didn't, i love you! feel my love telepathically! i am 65 years old in vibes, especially if you count the osteoarthritis. i am also maybe 3 or 4 years old and i want a nap and snacks and my stuffed animals, etc.

[afro-hispwriter]

ALICIA CLARK X FEM DIXON READER

After Ricks disappearance (twd) and Fixing the plane era(ftwd)

F/I- first initial

Warnings- language, implied smut

a/n- i wrote this a long time ago, its been posted on on wattpad for a while so i decided to post it on here… Enjoy!

Rick was gone, things were falling apart. Your dad, Daryl left the communities to join search parties all the way until he was the last one searching. Michonne and you wanted to keep looking but her pregnancy was to far along, and you basically took care of her and Judith. The atmosphere feels familiar just like when Carl died, you and him were best friends, you supported him in every one of this decisions even helped him get with Enid.

But this felt worse.

The person who has made sure everybody survives is dead. The man who was a mentor to you, the man who saved your father in countless occasions is dead. Morgan left almost 2 years ago and nobody heard from him. You knew Rick and him were close, he helped Rick when he came out of hospital. He deserves to know what happened and you will make sure of it.

-

"I want to go out and see the world for myself and I want to find Morgan." You said at dinner to Michonne and surprisingly who joined your dad.

"Excuse me what, you want to leave a whole state and travel to Texas just to see the world and find Morgan and for what?" Asked Michonne raising an eyebrow. Your dad sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"I agree kid. Why?" He asked looking at you.

"Ok first I'm pretty sure I'm 18, I'm supposed to be enrolling for college planning out my life, seeing what else is out there. I can take of myself of the time I have been surging in this world I can make it I'm sure if it. And second all of us know how much Rick meant to Morgan, I can go to Texas and tell him what happened maybe he will even come back even if it's for a little bit." You said enthusiastically. The adults shook their heads taking in the information.

"I'll think about it." Said your dad and Michonne nodded going back to eating.

"There's gotta be another reason you wanna leave." Said Daryl as you walked to your home.

"I already said why Dad." You said looking ahead

"No, you didn't I know ma own kid." He said stopping and he grabbed your arm so you would stop as well making you roll your eyes.

"I hate the atmosphere that is going on, it's like when Carl died but worse and I hate it. I just need to go, I need fresh air Dad, i need to see whats out there maybe even help people." You said throwing your arms in the air looking up at the sky. Daryl smiled, you would always talk about helping people when you were just 4 years old. But now that the apocalypse happened he never thought he'd actually have to let you be on your own anytime soon, maybe it was time.

"Alrigh I'll talk to Michonne tomorrow, I'll get ya that trip." He said and you smiled before pulling him into a big hug.

"Thank you father." You said and he chuckled.

-

"Ok y/n, ya have a high range walkie(i know those don't exist for very long distances)for when you get farther and farther away from ere and you have food to last a month or so and water for a week or two. And gas in the car to last Ya couple miles at least to get out of Virginia. A map, a gun with 2 rounds, and please try to put notes or something out there to tell me your alive, please I don't want to go out lookin for ya. Cant loose you kid." Said your dad who it was clear was very nervous on letting you leave.

"I'll be fine dad, I have been taught from the best of the best." You said and then you saw his eyes water.

"No, no dad don't cry because then I will. We have to be strong i promise I'll be fine. We agreed on 2 months if I'm gone more than that or if you don't hear from me when those months come to an end you come looking for me." You said holding back the tears.

"I know kid, I know it's just ya growin to fast." He said looking at you.

"Fuck it come ere kid." He said and pulled you in for a tight hug. You hugged him back hard, soaking up his affection, which definitely doesn't come everyday. You pulled away and looked up at him.

"I'll be fine dad ok, I'll be back." You said and backed up, everybody stood around and you waved before looking at Michonne and pointed at her belly.

"I better be godmother when I come back." You said smiling

"Yes ma'am." She said with a smile on her face. You got in the car and turned it on, you had some doubts on leaving but knew this has to happen. Your dad came to the window and leaned on it and you took in a breathe.

"Please don't loose yourself, if you have to stop stop. Don't leave the people who care about you." You told your dad and he sighed knowing exactly what you meant by that. He was looking for Rick so much it was taking him away from you. Daryl stepped back and you smiled at everybody and waved.

"I'll be back in 2 months I promise." You announced and they all smiled, you put the car in drive and drove off watching the gates close behind you.

"Y/n can you hear me." Your dad said over the walkie and you grabbed it.

"Yeah dad I can hear you."

-

You got to Tennessee right before the car stopped. You sighed and looked around to see if there was anything a car or a store. You grabbed the walkie and took in a breathe, please work, you thought.

"Dad can you hear me?" You asked and heard static then his voice.

"Ya I can, ya alright?" He asked

"Ya I'm fine, I'm in Tennessee but I think that soon probably a couple more miles you won't be able to hear me so im starting with the notes." You said and held back tears.

"Alright I love ya." You heard him sniffile before the walkie went out.

"I love you to dad." You said and out the walkie away and grabbed the pack. You opened the pack and grabbed the note book and pen. You wrote, STILL ALIVE- F/I, and looked for a place to put it. After an hour you found a gas station and put the note on the counter under a rock.

"Dad not sure if you can hear me but, if you do come for me I'm leaving notes in stores." You put the walkie back and grabbed your knife and stabbed a walker that came for you.

-

Almost 13 days (that's what google said). 13 days and nights of running and hiding from herds. Avoiding people, some you had to kill. Your feet hurt even after taking a days break in Arkansas but you finally have reached Texas. Not knowing where Morgan is you decided to use the walkie every few miles in. You looked at the map and Texas was huge, it could take a few weeks to find him, if he is even alive. But you needed a break so you needed to find somewhere safe. You found a house that looked safe enough so you cleared it, only 3 walkers where in it.

You set up a fire and out a can of beans over the fire. You grabbed the map and decided where you should head to next.

(A/n- I read that season 5 of fear is filmed in New Braunfels, Texas and its near Austin soon)

Austin, Texas, in school in Alexandria the teacher said Austin is pretty popular. Morgan could be there so that's where you would start. You took a 2 days rest and even found a lake to bathe in, after getting supplies you made your way to Austin. You left a note at the WELCOME TO TEXAS sign and left another at store the another. There was a hotel a little father form the house and out another there.

After a day or so you were closer to Austin and decided it's time to try with the Walkie.

"Morgan, it's Y/n I'm in Texas, I don't know if your alive but I'm here." You said and put the walkie away after no answer. You walked for what seemed hours when you saw the Austin sight and grabbed the walkie.

"Morgan I'm in Austin." You said into the walkie and decided to start trying different channels as you repeated the question though each. You tried the last channel and was about to put it away when you heard voices and your heart sped up.

"Morgan?" You asked and kept moving the circle to hear it more clearly.

"John, June you there." Someone said, it was a deep voice and noticed it was Morgan's voice.

"Morgan, Morgan, it Y/n Dixon from Alexandria, please hear me." You said pleading to yourself.

"Y/n wha-." He started. "What are you doing out here so far, where are you?" He asked.

"Umm I'm by the Welcome to Austin sign. Where are you maybe I can find you." You said and out down to the ground pulling the map out."

"I have two people close to you y/n, don't be alarmed their names are John and June." He said and you sighed.

"Ok." You said wearily.

"John, June did you hear that." Asked Morgan and a female bodice came through.

"We hear you Morgan, on our way Y/n." A man said.

"Hang tight y/n." Said Morgan and you sat back. You grabbed a paper and pen and wrote. FOUND MORGAN. You sat there for a while when a car approached and stopped next to you, you raised you knife reading to attack of nesassary. The window went down and the man and woman out there hands up.

"Hold on hold on young lady I'm John and this is June, we come to get you." John said and you hesitated.

"We won't hurt you i promise." June said. You nodded and grabbed your stuff and opened the car. You sat down and watched John and June's every move.

"So where did you come from?" Asked John and you sighed.

"Long story." You breathed out a laugh and they smiled.

"Guess we will know about it after you meet Al." Said June and you cocked your head to the side.

"Who's Al?" You asked wearily.

"She was journalist before and she interviews everybody on their stories." Said John and you nodded.

-

"Morgan, who is y/n?" Asked Alicia as she and Luciana approached him.

"She's comes from Virginia and Alexandria like me, she's around your age Alicia." Said Morgan smiling and Alicia rolled her eyes.

-

The car came to a stop out some gates and they opened. The car pulled in and people crowded around. John and June got out and your door opened revealing Morgan. You got out of the car and hugged him before pulling away to look over all the people. It was a whole bunch of little kids then a whole bunch of adults.

You looked around and your eyes fell on a very pretty girl with brown hair and hazel eyes. Her eyes where on you but they seemed defensive like yours at the moment. You felt uncomfortable and Morgan said to clear a path so you could sit down.

-

"I have been walking for almost 20 days, Car broke down when I reached Tennessee." You said to Al and she smiled. Everybody else was sitting around eating dinner as they heard your story how you arrived here.

"You have any family, back in Virginia?" She asked and you nodded.

"I have my dad, and more people who became my family, we have lost some but they will never be replaced." You said.

"Lover?" She asked and you shook your head no.

"Nope pretty much a virgin." You said and they all laughed.

Alicia started at you slowly relaxing that you were not a threat, all of them did.

"Why did you come here?" Asked Al and you sighed.

"I was 12 when the world started, I'm like 18 now. I'm supposed to be enrolling into college now, planning out my life going to go see what's out there. The apocalypse may have happened but I still want that chance. And Morgan I need to tell you something, privately." You said and he looked at you concerned. He gave Al a look and she shut the camera off then got the film. He stood up and you followed, he stopped just a few feet from everybody and waited for you to speak.

"Ricks gone." You said. "Gone not dead, just gone it's like he disappeared." You said looking down, thinking about that day.

"Wha- what how, what happened." He asked.

"Bridge explosion, he saved everybody." You said and Morgan nodded then you heard someone clear their throat.

"I'm sorry Morgan." Said June, you looked at him confused.

"I told them about Virginia, they how me and Rick go back." He said and you nodded.

"They haven't the body?" He asked and you shook your head.

"No, my dad, he has been looking out there by the bridge everyday, Michonne is pregnant with Ricks kid and she's about to give birth so she can't look anymore. And I was practically taking care of Judith so I couldn't either. And others have their own thing." You said and Morgan nodded again before walking off. You sighed and and smiled at the group.

"Anything else you guys want to know about me?" You asked and Al came forward.

"I want to know about the king and the tiger." Said Al and you nodded walking back to the fire.

-

You told everybody what you needed to know. Your guard was down long ago, you kept sneaking glances at the girl who's name is Alicia and she looked back at you as well. You got ready for bed when you were approached by Alicia.

"We never had a formal introduction, I'm Alicia Clark." She said holding her hand out and you shook it.

"Y/n Dixon."

You talked the night until you fell asleep from exhaustion. You learned about her family, all the things she has been through and you shared hers. She told you about her boyfriends and you felt a pang of jealousy, 'Gosh y/n you don't even know this girl,' you told your self. You fell asleep after an hour and Alicia put a blanket over you and whispered goodnight and left. You woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and got up. You looked in the mirror and braided your hair into two. You went outside and the people started building some type of plane. You approached Alicia as she was talking through a microphone looking at parts. She saw you approach and she smiled, you then looked up and saw a plane.

"Hey what's with the plane, didn't see that last night?" You asked Lucianna as you approached her, she smiled and sighed.

"A few weeks ago we were on a plane and we crashed landed a few miles from here, we actually came from here at first so we came back. Those kids they left biters out there tied up to keep us away, because it's not safe. We gained their trust and we are building this plane so we can get out of this place." She said sun you nodded you looked over the people and your eyes fell on him.

"Dwight?" You said sternly and he looked at you eyes widening.

"Mini Dixon, what are you doing out here?" He asked and you glared at him grabbing your knife when you felt a hang go to it, you saw Morgan shaking his head to stand down.

"What are you doing here, I thought you were dead?" You asked him.

"I'm lookin for Sherry, my wife, not trying to cause any trouble." He said and raised his good arm as a surrender. You nodded and stood down every body who watched went back to what they were doing. Alicia came in-front of you with a concerned look.

"So what's your story with him?" She asked

"He served the man who killed two people of my family and kept my father in a cage keeping him like an animal." You said looking at her with hard eyes.

You lended you knowledge on fixing things with the plane. It's clear they were grateful on your help, you fixed the engine to the best of your ability.

"Y/n want to come with me to a ware house, we need more parts." Said Alicia and you nodded. You made your way down and smiled at her.

-

Small Alicia POV

Gosh she is so beautiful. I met her yesterday and I feel like I have known her since forever. Call me crazy but I'm starting to get feelings for her already.

-

Regular POV

The butterflies in your stomach were almost painful when you were near Alicia. She was gorgeous, you felt like you could tell her everything and you almost have from Atlanta to now. You grabbed your backpack, emptying it out of anything that was worth leaving just encase. You took your knives and gun and left to find Alicia. She was waiting outside a car and got in when she saw you. You sat in the drivers seat and looked to see if anybody else was going, luckily no one was there.

"Anybody else going?" You asked and she shook her head.

"Do you have a problem with it, because I can get someone to come with us may-." She started but you shook your head no.

"I have no problem at all." You said and winked making her cheeks flush red. She drove to the warehouse and she told you the parts to look out for as well as food. You took out two walkers with your knives and looked back to see Alicia looking at you with awe.

"Never taken out biters with knives really." She said chuckling. You looked down and saw a metal pole that was sharpened at the edges.

"Well I mean that pole is badass, where did you get it, might need to get myself one." You asked.

"A water park." She said smiling and you nodded.

"Alright tell you what I teach you how to fight with knifes and we stay a little longer to find a pole similar to yours. Deal?" you asked holding your hand out. She thought for a second and took your hand and shook it.

"Ok come here stand in-front of me." You said as two walkers approached you both. She stood infront of you and you handed her your knives, you stood close to her.

"Now, you going to want to dodge them, go in between them. Remember you have to use strength to kill them just cant push it in. I'll be here just encase." You said. The walkers go closer and Alicia tightened her grip on the knives.

"Go you said." And she ducked as they swung at her, you backed up out of reach then one by one they were both put out.

"That was great, remember you gotta faster and if you have someone behind you, let's say as kid you have to push them back, maybe use you leg or arm. Even an adult if they don't notice you have to act quick." You said and she nodded cleaning the knives.

"Thanks I'll definitely use that, after I find knives." She said.

"If you can get a hunting knife there much stronger and lighter." You said and she nodded. You found a majority of the parts needed and headed back to the car.

"I found this." She said and handed you a metal pole with holes in it. You grabbed it and smiled at you, you got one of your knives and it's holster and handed it to her.

"Thank you Alicia, as a true thanks here's one of my knives, work with one just for now you will go better I just know of it." You said and she smiled brightly.

"Thank you, now let's get back and we can sharpen the edge." She said and started the car.

You kissed her cheek and pulled back getting a red face. You looked at her though the corner of your eye and saw her face was red.

-

When you arrived back to the truck stop, she helped sharpen the metal pole. You and her had a flirty thing going on for the rest of the month until you started feeling sexual tension start to arise. The stares would last long as well as lingering touches, she thought you how to use the pole and you taught her knives. Everybody shared their knowledge with you and you did with them.

The plane was just about finished when you realized if they finish the plane you may loose them, loose her.

"So, where do you guys plan on going after getting the rest of your group?" You asked Alicia as she ate dinner, sitting on the ground.

"Not sure, definitely leave this area." She said and you nodded seeing how bad the area is, you sat down next to her and she offered some of her dinner but you waved it off.

"Maybe fly to Virginia." She said lowly and you looked at her like she was crazy.

"I'm just playing can't risk another crash, especially where the girl I likes home is." She said and looked at you. Your face went red and the butterflies in your stomach, she grabbed your chin and pulled your face closer to hers.

"Y/n Dixon I like you a lot, it's ok if you don't but-." She said but you silenced her with a kiss. She pulled you in harder making you moan, she set her dinner down and you pushed her on the ground, straddling her. You looked up and saw there were people still around so you pulled away.

"Want to take me to your tent?" You asked and she nodded, you got off her and held your hand out which she gladly took. She led you to her tent opening it and pulled you inside. You slid your shirt off and she did the same.

She looked at yours left arm and stomach and noticed a beautiful tattoos.

(This but all around the forearm)

(Something like that)

"Didn't know you had tattoos." She said and scratched her head.

"Oh yeah... do they bother you?" You asked.

"No no they are actually really hot." She said making you blush. You walked over to her and pushed her onto the makeshift bed.

"Wait crap I've never had sex with-." She started and you kissed her.

"It's ok, I'll teach you." You said and she looked at you confused.

"After Carl died, his girlfriend, Enid, and me got close and we ended up in bed together. It was just one night didn't mean anything." You said and stroked her hair.

"Didn't say that in the interview." She said and leaned back letting you crawl on top of her.

"Some things are just not to be meant to be said." You said and winked at her. You went down and captured her lips, she raised her hands and caressed your sides. You laid down on her putting your weight on her body making her moan.

"Just relax let me do the work." You said and trailed down her stomach.

a/n- once ftwd season 6 comes to hulu I’ll be able to continue my part 2