#guard dog kmag

[logan-lieutenant]

Kmag: The next person who lays hands on my husband-

Hulk: Babe, calm down, there’s no need to get angry

Stewards: After the contact in Monza, w-

Hulk: THE NEXT PERSON WHO LAYS HANDS ON MY HUSBAND

[mayguardian]

F1 Drivers in Performing Arts

we are back in familiar territory baby. idk a ton about strings but it'll definitely be better than the first two

String Orchestra

Max:

auraless concertmaster

violin is hella expensive and very very nice

rehearses with the little towel on his shoulder 

has considered switching instruments so he could be first chair without having to actually do the concertmaster duties

surprisingly patient in sectionals though

has relative perfect pitch and is mad that it’s not absolute 

thinks lance is lying about his perfect pitch

featured in student showcase

paganini 24

favorite variation is the chords, least favorite is the 8va

him and lewis in a hogging practice rooms-off

“dude why would you even choose an ensemble room you're by yourself and we need the quartet space” 

“the larger rooms of course have better acoustics and you guys were not here so i thought you were not rehearsing today” 

Alex:

violin 1

third or fourth chair

almost decided to play clarinet instead but thought the embouchure made him look ugly 

intense about the select string quartet but doesn’t really care about chamber stuff

was only too happy to exclude max because he had too many “concertmaster duties”

arranges music for quartet but only songs he likes

hates baroque so, so much

had to be bribed AND blackmailed into performing air on a g string one year

string quartet in student showcase

libertango arr. for string quartet by alex albon

was the fiddler on the roof for a theater production at some point before the charles era

Yuki:

first chair cello 

if he could only play concertos he would

thinks quartets and chamber music are boring 

takes “quick breaks” where he sits around in a practice room eating and watching a movie for like an hour

he’ll vacate the room without a fuss if you ask him to leave though

“oh no there are no more rooms ig i’m done for the day what a shame”

gets in trouble at least once a month for being impatient with his section

“you can’t just tell them they’re bad and this sectional isn’t worth your time”

mood improved immensely when he realized the other first chairs just treat their sectionals like free practice

featured in student showcase

saint-saens allegro appassionato 

takes the accel at a different pace every time and stresses everyone out

also in color guard

was rifle line but dropped to flags in protest of the pierre snub

is the reason they don’t do sabre anymore (attempted murder)

George:

least neurotic first chair viola

has pre-prepared lectures on the difference between violin and viola

the only first chair that gets anything done in sectionals

violas come out after 90 minutes perfectly in tune and bowing in unison

everyone else is +5 lvls in brawlstars/clash royale 

would be a better concertmaster than max if he was violin 1 but he’s ride or die for his instrument 

loves viola the way delusional people love their deranged looking dogs

lies to himself about the timbre sounding better than violin/cello

in select string quartet with alex

the one who blackmailed and bribed him into playing bach

organizes pit orchestra rehearsals

somehow gets an entire functional pit together in like 3 weeks before opening night 

Checo:

double bass

3rd out of 3 chairs

got gang pressed into jazz band

ended up learning electric bass as well

one of those cringe bassists who slaps when he shouldn't and feels no shame about it

draggggggggs like hell 

jazz band in student showcase

moanin

single handedly pulls the bpm down from like 235 to 200 in 32 measures (actually impressive)

takes terrible care of his bow

that thing hasn’t seen rosin in months

he actually lost his block and has to borrow from his first chair

made a joke once about quitting orchestra for concert band and now the conductor has him on the equivalent of a 24 hour watch

“we’re all here for you what do you need?”

“don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem”

tied with kmag in world championships of being on your phone during rehearsal

[logan-lieutenant]

kmag: these penalties aren’t fair. i get punished for “safety hazards” that are really just minor infringements, meanwhile ricciardo was let off easy after nearly sending nico into the barrier at 300 kph.

stewards: yeah, about that… we should probably point out that nico’s contact with yuki was not only nico’s own fault but way more dangerous tha–

kmag: sorry, maybe you didn’t hear me correctly. i said THE NEXT PERSON WHO LAYS HANDS ON MY HUSBAND–––