#guard dog kmag

[stripedstarsblueflags]

Kmag: The next person who lays hands on my husband-

Hulk: Babe, calm down, there’s no need to get angry

Stewards: After the contact in Monza, w-

Hulk: THE NEXT PERSON WHO LAYS HANDS ON MY HUSBAND

[tetheredbysin]

I know I've rambled on and on about how kmag is the ultimate guard dog in this sport but you know who else is a goddamn guard dog?

GP. Gianpiero Lambiase, the absolute immovable object of a man that he is. He seems like one of the calmest, most gentle human beings around the sport but he will go for anyone's throat when it comes to Max. Like directly calling out sky sports for being prejudiced against Max? A hero. A legend. They could never make me hate him.

[rocketinthesky]

Hi! Hope you're having a good time💜 Any opinions the Haasbands? (Kevin x Nico)

OMG HI! Hope you’re having a great time too

As for the ask game

HAASBANDS?!? BOY DO I HAVE SOME STRONG OPINIONS ON THIS !! So sorry op this might be posted a bit late cuz i have TOO MANY THOTS AND FEELINGS OVER THEM OK LETS START:

Obviously, the HISTORY. Ik the most “relevant”/spoken about F1 rivalries are brocedes/lestappen these days but we really have to look into Haasbands cuz they’re THE enemies to lovers story, like actual rivals who fell hard for eo.

We all know about the infamous “suck my balls” comment from Kevin, about Nico and Kevin butting heads on track, how they apparently hated eo till suddenly they’re teammates and they mesh so well tgt that Nico calls it a fucking “romance”.

There’s soooo much nuance to their dynamic to unpack here though. The general consensus is “guard-dog kevin” and “level-headed nico” but LETS TALK ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF THEIR DYNAMIC PRE-MARRIAGE OK. In an interview, Kevin talked about how the “hatred” was one-sided, that despite the hot-headed comment during that interview, Kevin has never disliked Nico, rather he always respected the older as a fellow driver.

This flips the “level-headed nico” characterization on it’s head because look: pre-marriage Hulknussen was basically a one-sided rivalry where Nico was a petty bitch and giving Kevin the silent treatment, whilst Kevin was leaving all the rivalry and anger on the track, more or less wilfully oblivious to the “enemies” narrative. He respected Nico as a person and just was chill with him off track, but on track Kevin fights for his life no matter who he’s up against.

Now post-marriage Haasbands arc brings us two dudes who are much more mature, definitely have a much different perspective in life (cuz of the families they’ve built). They’ve grown as people obv and when they were more or less forced to be co-workers they had to suck it up like real adults and act like professionals.

But when they were actually working tgt, they found that it was easy. They got along on a fundamental level. Kevin always held that respect for Nico as a driver and person and when Nico actually allowed himself to give Kevin a chance, to talk to the guy and see him for the person he is off-track, not just as the aggressive and fearless fighter in the car, he grew a genuine respect and appreciation for Kevin as a person.

Among all the ships, i’d say Haasbands is the most sane one. They go from genuine rivalry/one-sided hatred and one-sided ignorance, to a friendship, mutual respect, peaceful relationship.

Obviously that’s just the brief overview of it but let’s not overlook the INSANITY within their dynamic cuz i am in no way discounting “guard-dog kmag”. He’s a fiercely protective warrior on the track and we’ve seen firsthand how he will fucking kamikaze for fhe sake of nico getting a point, how he will openly speak up about anything unfair that happens with Nico, like with nico and daniel’s crash this year. Kevin is a man in love and he’s a man who will lay his life on the line for it.

NICO. He’s level-headed alright. He’ll very calmly with the sweetest smile on his face threaten any lifeform that harms Kevin in any way. He’s a sweetheart sure but he’s just as nuts for Kev as kev is for him. His raw thoughts on Kmag’s race ban is a prime example of it.

These two are like actual fuckin husbands, they’ll protect eo to the end. And the domesticity between them makes me gag like ok get a room guys we get it yall are in LOVE

the kmag birthday clip? Them watching sports tgt outside of WORK duties? The way they’re constantly complimenting each other without faltering, almost tryna one-up eo in a compliment battle in the driver rankings videos? The compliments outside of those too like they are genuinely obsessed with each other?! I could go on but we’d be here all day so. Just know they’re sickeningly, tooth-rottingly sweet with eo

Welp i’ve rambled long enough lmao sorry if u subjected urself to my disjointed thoughts i just have so many Feelings���️ about haasbands they’re one of my otps lol they’re just so PERFECT they’re THE enemies to lovers like real fuckin enemies to lovers.

(As for my nsfw thoughts i think they’re pure switches but Nico lets his short gremlin male-wife take care of him more cuz he’s very fond and will do wtv Kevin wants THANK YOU)

[padiduys]

What are some of your animal assignments for the grid, I'm curious now

Deer George and Seal Lance I was familiar with but I don't think I know any others

If you're talking about general F1blr I'm unsure tbh, maybe other can answer, Seal lance is fairly new as well I think? I just follow the trend, I'm not really creative when it come to assigning animal tbh 😭 Tho I heard most f1blr agree that Mark is a dog, Oscar is a cat, Daniel is well honey badger (duh) Seb is also a dog (golden retriever I think)

THO my personal HC is that everyone is a cat by default LMFAOOOO i just love cat, man. It think Kmag is a guard dog, and Nando is a lion (look at that mane during the Renault era bro PLEASE grow your hair) I do also think Hulk is a cheetah, simply because he's giving the kind of big cat who wants to be domesticated but bro is too big to be domesticated vibe.

[mayguardian]

F1 Drivers in Performing Arts

we are back in familiar territory baby. idk a ton about strings but it'll definitely be better than the first two

String Orchestra

Max:

auraless concertmaster

violin is hella expensive and very very nice

rehearses with the little towel on his shoulder 

has considered switching instruments so he could be first chair without having to actually do the concertmaster duties

surprisingly patient in sectionals though

has relative perfect pitch and is mad that it’s not absolute 

thinks lance is lying about his perfect pitch

featured in student showcase

paganini 24

favorite variation is the chords, least favorite is the 8va

him and lewis in a hogging practice rooms-off

“dude why would you even choose an ensemble room you're by yourself and we need the quartet space” 

“the larger rooms of course have better acoustics and you guys were not here so i thought you were not rehearsing today” 

Alex:

violin 1

third or fourth chair

almost decided to play clarinet instead but thought the embouchure made him look ugly 

intense about the select string quartet but doesn’t really care about chamber stuff

was only too happy to exclude max because he had too many “concertmaster duties”

arranges music for quartet but only songs he likes

hates baroque so, so much

had to be bribed AND blackmailed into performing air on a g string one year

string quartet in student showcase

libertango arr. for string quartet by alex albon

was the fiddler on the roof for a theater production at some point before the charles era

Yuki:

first chair cello 

if he could only play concertos he would

thinks quartets and chamber music are boring 

takes “quick breaks” where he sits around in a practice room eating and watching a movie for like an hour

he’ll vacate the room without a fuss if you ask him to leave though

“oh no there are no more rooms ig i’m done for the day what a shame”

gets in trouble at least once a month for being impatient with his section

“you can’t just tell them they’re bad and this sectional isn’t worth your time”

mood improved immensely when he realized the other first chairs just treat their sectionals like free practice

featured in student showcase

saint-saens allegro appassionato 

takes the accel at a different pace every time and stresses everyone out

also in color guard

was rifle line but dropped to flags in protest of the pierre snub

is the reason they don’t do sabre anymore (attempted murder)

George:

least neurotic first chair viola

has pre-prepared lectures on the difference between violin and viola

the only first chair that gets anything done in sectionals

violas come out after 90 minutes perfectly in tune and bowing in unison

everyone else is +5 lvls in brawlstars/clash royale 

would be a better concertmaster than max if he was violin 1 but he’s ride or die for his instrument 

loves viola the way delusional people love their deranged looking dogs

lies to himself about the timbre sounding better than violin/cello

in select string quartet with alex

the one who blackmailed and bribed him into playing bach

organizes pit orchestra rehearsals

somehow gets an entire functional pit together in like 3 weeks before opening night 

Checo:

double bass

3rd out of 3 chairs

got gang pressed into jazz band

ended up learning electric bass as well

one of those cringe bassists who slaps when he shouldn't and feels no shame about it

draggggggggs like hell 

jazz band in student showcase

moanin

single handedly pulls the bpm down from like 235 to 200 in 32 measures (actually impressive)

takes terrible care of his bow

that thing hasn’t seen rosin in months

he actually lost his block and has to borrow from his first chair

made a joke once about quitting orchestra for concert band and now the conductor has him on the equivalent of a 24 hour watch

“we’re all here for you what do you need?”

“don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem”

tied with kmag in world championships of being on your phone during rehearsal

[stripedstarsblueflags]

kmag: these penalties aren’t fair. i get punished for “safety hazards” that are really just minor infringements, meanwhile ricciardo was let off easy after nearly sending nico into the barrier at 300 kph.

stewards: yeah, about that… we should probably point out that nico’s contact with yuki was not only nico’s own fault but way more dangerous tha–

kmag: sorry, maybe you didn’t hear me correctly. i said THE NEXT PERSON WHO LAYS HANDS ON MY HUSBAND–––