#grumpy old man and his even grumpier daughter

[blaithnne]

@the-hilda-librarians-wife HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GIRL EVER !!!!

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

It's the Little Things

Joel Miller X Fem!Reader

Joel hadn't pictured himself a dad to an orphan not after losing his only daughter in a car crash, but when a dear friend is dying of cancer what is he to do but take her in? A/N:this is an AU where the apocalypse does not happen, but Joel is still older than the reader(think upper 40's Joel whereas the reader is late 20's, early 30's)and is a surrogate dad to Ellie, if you do read please leave some feedback! warnings:none really, Joel being grumpy because he's old

This wasn’t the life Joel thought he would have for himself, he’d always thought it would be him and Sarah against the world, before the car accident happened. Now Joel didn’t blame anyone but himself for that happening, even when they were the ones t-boned by an oncoming semi, he should’ve looked both ways twice before turning. Except that wasn’t the case, and now he was being asked to take in his friend’s daughter because she was also dying. It wasn’t fucking fair, and at the rate he was going Joel was sure he’d be completely gray by the end of the year. Ellie was a good kid though, stayed out of trouble when it mattered most. Of course that wasn’t to say Marlene didn’t sneak her out of the house when his back was turned. She always came back in one piece though, and for that he was grateful.

“C’mon, don’t start trying to give me that look, you know damn well the answer is still going to be no,” Ellie had been begging Joel to take her to a concert, claiming she deserved to see what all the hype was about.

Joel on the other hand thought they were too loud and downright obnoxious, they weren’t even playing actual music on the radio anymore, it was just noise. So he dug his heels in and refused no matter how much she begged, or pleaded. Ellie knew he’d eventually give in, it would just take a ton of convincing for him to do so first.

“What if we see a band you like?” Joel simply stared over at the young girl, lips pulled into a frown as he started to consider what she was saying.

It would be a great bonding experience, and Joel wouldn’t have to endure some pop artist he couldn’t even pronounce the name of. If it finally got Ellie off his back for a little while, maybe it wouldn’t be such a terrible idea.

“Fine, but after this you don’t ask for anything until your birthday, alright?” Granted her birthday was only three months away, which meant Joel was in for a whole heap of trouble with her.

Ellie was ecstatic, this was absolutely perfect! There was no way Joel could say no if Ellie just so happened to invite Marlene’s friend along with them, it would be so rude if he did. Plus Joel really needed someone by his side, man was grumpier than anyone else she’d ever met. Shit, but what if Joel actually gets upset though? That’s gonna derail the entire plan, and make for a very rough few months.

“What’re you planning over there?” Joel raised a brow at Ellie, waiting to see what was going on in the teenager's mind.

“Just thinking about who we could go and see,” Okay it wasn’t her best lie, but she was working on it.

Joel didn’t pay her much attention, heading off into the kitchen to start prepping everything for dinner. Ellie knew you had planned on stopping by, needing to “drop something off” according to Joel, he wouldn’t say as to why when she asked. He always seemed to get flustered whenever you walked into their house, stumbling over his words like he was a teenager with a crush.

“Holy shit!” That explained everything! No wonder Joel wasn’t willing to go on any date that Marlene tried to set him up on.

“What?! What’s going on?” Joel ran into the room, chef's knife clutched tight in his right hand.

Ellie stared at him dumbfounded, unsure she was willing to blow his cover.

“Nothing, thought I saw a spider but it was just a dust bunny,” Smooth Ellie, real smooth.

Joel’s posture relaxed, shaking his head before going back into the kitchen to continue doing what he was before Ellie had nearly given him a heart attack. Now all she had to do was convince you to go to the concert, wherever it was, when they decided on a band.

“Hello! Anyone home?” Your voice echoed throughout the house as you stepped inside, bag clutched tight in your right hand, cake balancing in your left hand. “Kitchen!” Joel’s voice was booming, much louder than your own, but a clear indicator of where the man was.

You smiled to yourself, making your way to the kitchen with your goodies. Joel had praised your cakes every time you brought one over, so why not indulge the man? It was a recipe you held near and dear to your heart, especially since it was the first dessert you ever made for him.

“Hey there good looking,” You snickered when Joel threw a glare your way, it was all in good fun.

Ellie practically threw herself into you, wrapping her arms around your waist in a tight hug, she was another reason you’d loved coming over. You hugged her back, being careful not to jostle the food that was in your hands.

“Hello to you too miss, why don’t you go hang out in the living room while your dad and I get dinner made,” You wanted to talk with Joel a little more privately, get everything off your chest.

“Did you bring the cake?” Ellie looked more excited about the cake than Joel did, which wasn't too surprising considering the sweet tooth the kid had.

You held the plate up a little higher, showing that you did indeed bring the oh so famous chocolate cake for the two Miller’s. She squealed excitedly, clapping before running off back into the living room. Joel was keeping himself busy cutting vegetables, keeping an eye on the steaks browning in the pan on the stove.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think she can tell,” You set the cake down on the table, turning to face the older man with a brow raised.

“I don’t think Ellie would know if it smacked her directly in the face,” Joel was trying to figure out the best way to break the news to her.

He hadn’t dated since Sarah had passed away, it felt wrong to worry about himself when there were so many other things going on. And then once Ellie came into the picture Joel put all of his focus into helping her settle into the home. Meeting you had been a blessing in disguise, one he’d been thankful for for the last few years you’d known one another.

“Joel, don’t be mean, she needs to focus her energy on something,” You couldn’t help but giggle when Joel rolled his eyes.

“She needs to stay out of my personal business is what she needs to do,” Joel was surprised Ellie hadn’t caught on sooner, she’d been watching him like a hawk lately.

The two of you worked in tandem, helping Joel prep the dinner he’d offer to cook to finally break the news to Ellie. Would it be weird telling her that you’d been together for nearly six months, keeping the secret from almost everyone you knew? Tommy had his suspicions, though it sounded like Maria was entirely sure Joel had someone special in his life. 

“She called me dad last week, don’t think she noticed though,” Joel smiled fondly at the memory, stirring the vegetables around to make sure they didn’t burn.

“Oh Joel, that's so sweet!” You’d known all about Joel’s fears that he wasn’t being enough of a parent to Ellie, she hadn’t hit her rebellious years and the two of you were thankful for that.

Joel peaked around to make sure Ellie wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, something she tended to do way more than he was happy with. He’d nearly told Tommy about you before noticing the tip of Ellie’s shoe sticking out in the doorway. She played it off acting like she wasn’t trying to listen in on what Joel had to say. He was going to finally admit it to her tonight, tell the truth that was starting to weigh on him so heavily.

“Ellie! Dinner’s ready!” You had started to plate up the food, sliding behind Joel to grab enough silverware for the three of you.

Ellie came running into the room, taking the plate from you so she could finish plating her food. You grabbed a plate for Joel, piling the food up higher than you would for your own, the man could eat his body weight and food and still be ready for more. 

“Go sit and eat, I can make my own plate,” Joel nudged you towards the dining table, fingertips lingering on the fabric of your shirt.

“I’ll sit down when you do,” You giggled when he rolled his eyes, grabbing your own plate of food and joining Ellie.

The three of you ate in silence, the sounds of forks and knives scraping against plates. Luna, the cat Ellie had insisted Joel get, was sitting by your feet. Joel was struggling to find the perfect time to bring up your relationship, how he was thinking of having you move into his home. He’d been debating it for a while, unsure of how you’d feel about moving with him.

“Hey, Ellie?” It was now or never, he was either going to tell his adoptive daughter that you were together, or he would continue to chicken out.

“Mmm?” She looked over at him, cheeks stuffed with food while he forced himself not to say anything.

He glanced at you for a brief moment, taking a deep breath to calm the nerves that were beginning to fray at the seams.

“I just wanted to let you know that Y/N and I are together. We’ve been dating since Tommy’s birthday,” There it was all out in the open and therefore no longer a burden on Joel’s shoulders.

Ellie’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, jaw dropping open to show the half chewed food still sitting in her mouth. Joel was ready to scold her, there was nothing more inappropriate than having food fall out of your mouth.

“I knew it!” Ellie leaped off the chair, chewing and swallowing the food that was in her mouth. “What?” Joel was confused, how the hell could she have known?

“You get so giddy whenever she’s around, I just figured it was nothing more than a crush,” Ellie shrugged, laughing at the stunned look on Joel’s face.

You weren’t surprised the teenager had figured out, she had almost caught on during the first month of your relationship when she’d knocked on Joel’s door and nearly caught you in bed together. Sliding under his bed definitely hadn’t been your proudest moment, but neither of you were ready to announce your relationship.

“Wait, so who knows if you’re just now telling me?” She had a put out look on her face, arms crossed over her chest.

“No one besides you knows, and no you will not be spilling the beans to Maria before I can say something to Tommy,” Maria and Ellie were thick as thieves together, getting into trouble when both Joel and Tommy had their backs turned.

“You told me before your brother?” Ellie’s voice was soft, quieter than either Joel or you had ever heard her before.

Had this meant more than they realized? Getting to be in on the big secret about the man who’d become her father. He was going to have to tell Tommy and Maria sooner rather than later anyway, lest they find out through the grapevine and get upset for being out of the loop. You held your arms open, gesturing for Ellie to join your embrace. She didn’t hesitate to run over, arms wrapped tight around your ribs as she sniffled. Joel was thankful that she wasn’t upset they hadn’t told her, there was nothing worse than a pissed off teenager.

“Wait, does that mean you’re staying over?” Ellie pulled back so quickly from your embrace you were afraid the poor girl gave herself whiplash.

“Yes I am, as long as Joel’s alright with it,” You’d never try and overstay your welcome, no matter how much Joel would beg at times.

Before Joel could answer for himself Ellie piped up with a quick “who cares what he wants? We can have a sleepover!” It was adorable how much the teenager adored you, something Joel had been nervous about. He hadn’t brought anyone that wasn’t family, until you came into his life, around her before. The two of you had clicked as if you’d known Ellie her entire life, and not the two hours you’d first spent together. Joel had started heading over to your apartment more often after that, not wanting to be too affectionate around the teenager and give away his secrets. Now that the cat was out of the bag he could breathe easier, until it came time to tell his brother and sister-in-law. Nothing more exciting than telling your family you’ve been seeing someone nearly ten years after you lost your daughter, at least in Joel’s case.

A knock at the door caught everyone’s attention, you were already here so it definitely wasn’t you arriving late, so who the hell would it be?

“Joel! Open the damn door!” Why the fuck was Tommy here?

“Alright! Give me a damn minute,” Joel abandoned you and Ellie in the kitchen, going to unlock the front door to see what was so important.

Tommy all but shoved past Joel, complaining the weather outside was too damn cold for making him stand outside in it. God did he hope you and Ellie stayed in the damn kitchen while he dealt with his brother.

“Can I ask what you’re doing in my house without letting me know you were coming over?” Had he and Maria gotten into an argument? Nah, Tommy knew better than to piss off Maria to the point she kicked him out.

“Ellie texted me, said there was some kind of emergency and that I should come right over,” Oh he was going to strangle that girl until she was blue in the face.

Joel turned and headed right towards the kitchen, not stopping until he came face to face with you, Ellie was doing her best to use you as a personal shield.

“You are dead, you hear me?” Joel reached around you towards Ellie, fingers barely grazing the hoodie she had on.

“You were going to tell him anyway, just rip the bandaid off!” She was doing everything she could to avoid Joel’s grasp, slipping under his arm to run into the living room.

Joel groaned lowly, Ellie was going to tell Tommy before he could even open his mouth and say a single word himself.

“Let’s go tell him together, okay?” You laced your fingers together, leading Joel out to the living room so he could finally face his brother.

Tommy and Ellie were having a heated discussion about what sounded very close to dinosaurs, that was a small win.

“Ellie called you over here because she wanted me to tell you, and if Maria had been here too, that I’ve got a girlfriend,” It felt weird admitting to his younger brother that he was dating someone, let alone someone as gorgeous as you.

Tommy stared dumbfounded for a brief moment before bursting into a full belly laugh that left Joel more confused than anything. Was it really that surprising he was dating someone that everyone felt the need to laugh at him? Ellie shrugged at him, unsure as to why Tommy was laughing.

“C’mon Tommy, don’t be mean to dad, he’s old and fragile,” Tommy was still laughing though much quieter.

You and Joel were stunned, it was the first time in the almost two years that Joel had that Ellie had said anything of the sort. He didn’t want to make it awkward though, there was nothing worse than making her feel uncomfortable.

“I am not being mean to him at all, stop being dramatic, if anything you’re the one calling him old and fragile” Tommy pointed a finger at her, catching the comment she’d made about Joel.

“Well it’s true, even Y/N agrees with me, isn’t that right?” All eyes were suddenly on you, leaving you flustered and unsure whether you wanted to answer truthfully.

You threw your hands up in surrender, not willing to answer the question that Ellie had so gladly thrown your way. That wasn’t to say you hadn’t made plenty of old man jokes with Joel before, he was forty-eight which in his eyes meant he was ancient. Ellie knew you were younger which explained why she never seemed suspicious of you and Joel spending time together.

“Really? You think I’m old and fragile there darling?” Joel stepped closer to you, quickly closing the space that separated the two of you.

“I mean I may have made a joke once or twice,” You backed away slowly, reaching blindly behind you to make sure you wouldn’t fall over and hurt yourself.

“I’ll show you old,” Joel lunged forward, fingers barely grazing your arm as you turned and ran towards the front door.

The sound of your combined laughter echoed throughout the house, the two of you running around in the front yard. The neighbors had seen the two of you running around like fools in the past, so this was nothing new to them. You knew better than to let Joel win though, he would hold it above your head for weeks and would brag if that happened.

“Should we get them back inside?” Tommy looked over at Ellie, watching as the couple tussled outside.

“Nope, Joel will eventually catch her and they’ll probably say a bunch of cheesy shit before coming back inside. Y/N brought her famous chocolate cake and there’s no way dad’s going to miss out on that,” Ellie would fight someone for a slice of that cake, it was earth shatteringly good.

Tommy thought better than to ask anymore questions, he’d gotten an answer already and would wait to see what all the fuss was about. A loud squeal echoed before the two of you hit the ground, Joel reigning victorious. Luna was sitting in the doorway watching the pair, she’d been patiently waiting to be fed her dinner and this was another thing holding everything up.

“Wait, you’re saying that like they’ve done something like this before, but you just found out they’re dating,” Tommy was suspicious now, had Ellie secretly known about the relationship?

“I did just find out, but they’re like a couple of kids whenever they’re around each other. I swear I’ve never seen him so happy before, damn how did I miss all the signs?” Ellie muttered the last few words to herself, thinking back on all the time Joel came home late, claiming he’d been working with Tommy when in reality he’d been on a date with you.

It didn’t hurt, finding out that Joel had kept something like this hidden for so long, he was more worried about raising Ellie without pushing his own beliefs onto her. She was a kid with a personality, and thoughts, Joel wanted to give her a chance to figure out who she was. You and Joel headed back inside a few minutes later, grass stains covering most of your clothes as you laughed together.

“Can we have dessert please?” Ellie was ready to beg, the cake was whispering things and damnit she was hungry.

“Yes, we can have cake,” You pressed a kiss to Joel’s cheek before rushing off to cut a slice of cake for everyone.

Tommy could see the lovesick smile on his brother's face, the way it radiated through his body like a beacon of life. It was sickeningly sweet. Ignoring his brother in favor of eating some cake Tommy made his way out to the kitchen with Ellie. Joel headed into the pantry to get food for Luna so she wouldn’t scream at them all night for being fed a little later than usual. Once everyone was sat down at the dining table you handed out plates and forks, settling close to Joel’s right side.

The cake was fluffy and delicious, the icing just sweet enough without being overbearing, it was truly a slice of heaven. Were you a baker that Joel had been keeping hidden, or was this something you just did on the side for the people you liked? 

“I might have you bake a cake for my wife’s birthday, this is amazing,” Tommy would have to introduce the two of you first of course, but once she’d taste a slice of the cake Maria would surely be won over.

“Well if you two are free this saturday we could do a double date so she can meet Y/N, Ellie will be fine at home by herself,” Joel had stuffed the last piece of cake into his mouth, groaning happily at the taste.

Ellie was ecstatic, Joel only left her home alone if he was working late to make sure nothing went wrong with any of his contractors, this would be so different. Tommy nodded in agreement, it wouldn’t be hard to get his wife to agree to a date night, she liked Joel well enough that spending a few hours with him and his girlfriend didn’t sound like a chore.

“Sure, I’ll ask her when I go home tonight,” The night had started out a little strange, having to drive over to his brother's house because of Ellie’s panic, but now it just felt right.

You offered to cut a slice for Tommy’s wife, saying that there’s no way the three of you could eat anymore cake. Joel protested immediately, stating that he could eat nearly half the cake himself before he would need to stop. Ignoring the man you’d fallen in love with, you sliced a hefty piece of cake and set it into a container for Tommy to take home.

“This way she can see if she might want me to bake a cake for her birthday,” You playfully glared over at Joel as he tried to protest once more, huffing and crossing his arms as you all but shoved the container into Tommy’s arms.

The three of you said goodbye as he left, saying he would ask Maria about the double date to make sure she didn’t already have plans. You waited patiently for Ellie to say something, or even Joel as you all stood in the living room together.

“Alright, it’s late, you need to get to bed and I need to take a shower so time to get a move on,” It was barely past eight, but Joel liked to stick to a regimen.

For once Ellie didn’t put up much of a fuss about having to get ready for bed, or getting ready to relax for the night. Normally she’d complain and say that “well I’m not a baby, I don’t need to go to bed at eight” and Joel would brush it off. Now though? He was shocked as she all but ran up the stairs to head into her own bathroom and shower. Joel turned to look at you, raising a brow in silent question. You knew exactly what it entailed, happily following him up to his bedroom and into the ensuite.

Joel’s touch was always so gentle, whether the two of you were simply cuddling with a movie on, or were engaged in more intimate moments. Right now he was being careful not to irritate your skin, noticing that when you tackled one another you’d both manage to get a slight turf burn. It wasn’t anything serious, nothing worse than explaining to your coworkers why your arms had burns from spending the night with your boyfriend. Maybe you could steal one of Joel’s flannels so no one would ask questions.

While Joel washed your front, you spent that time scrubbing any dirt and grass that had managed to get in his hair. He was ready to melt in with the water that washed down the drain, your hands always felt so good.

“Don’t fall asleep on me Miller, we have to get into bed first,” You smiled watching the way he grumbled, claiming he wasn’t about to fall asleep on you.

It took a few more minutes, the two of you enjoying a quiet moment under the scalding spray from the shower head. Joel had redone both bathrooms by himself when he moved in, complaining the people before him had been stuck in the seventies. It was more modern, but with a comforting touch about it, that was partially due to you. Sarah had once occupied the room Ellie was in, updating it with her interests the older she got. It was Ellie’s turn now, the walls covered in posters of different musicians and some of her favorite comics covering the dresser and nightstand.

“I’m stealing your clothes, need something comfy to sleep in,” You had clothes hidden away in some of Joel’s drawers, mainly so Ellie hadn’t seen them, but his clothes just felt better.

“That’s alright hun, take whatever you want,” Joel grabbed his own pajamas, giving you some privacy to get dressed.

Most people were shocked to hear that you and Joel weren’t getting freaky nearly all the time, but it wasn’t at the forefront of your mind all the time, plus with Ellie not knowing about the relationship that made things more difficult. It wasn’t as if you didn’t want to, there were definitely times you wanted to jump his bones, but you behaved. Joel crawled into bed first, pulling the blanket back to help you settle in.

“I was thinking, I want you to move in,” Joel was terrified. What if you said no and broke things off with him because he was moving too fast?

“Oh you’re lucky my lease is about to run out Miller,” You cuddled into his chest wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Is that a yes?” His heart felt as if it stopped, there was no way in hell you were actually agreeing to move in, he was obviously dreaming.

“It’s a yes, but you get to help me move any of my furniture out that you don’t want to keep,” Granted you had planned on donating almost all of it, except for your mattress since it was nearly as old as Ellie.

Joel chuckled to himself, tightening his arm around you to pull you flush to his side, tonight went better than expected. Ellie had welcomed you with open arms, and now you were going to be living with him permanently. He laid back against the pillows, listening to your soft slow breathing as you succumbed to sleep.

“I love you so much darling, sweet dreams,” Joel pressed a kiss to your hair before falling asleep himself.

And if you had all of your things moved in that weekend, well that was no one’s business besides yours and Joel’s.

[charincharge]

Cruel Summer, Part 1

cruel summer masterlist

AN: It’s here. Idk what the posting schedule will be like, I have no idea what my writing schedule will be like, but... I think it’s gonna be 25ish chapters? Maybe? Who knows. It’s gonna be fun, I think. I hope. Looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts. Alright... without further ado...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rowan Whitethorn is having a really horrible day. Not just the kind of bad that he can shrug off, but the kind that seeps through his skin and sinks into his bones, that permeates even the smallest thing, turning everything into a giant annoyance.

First, he missed his alarm, so his grumpy manager, Lorcan, has been even grumpier with him since he pulled through the gates of Ashryver Playland this morning. The amusement park job is less than ideal. Rowan hadn’t planned for his summer to be taking tickets and cleaning up melted ice cream cones from sweaty-faced teens – but it was the only place that called him back, and he doesn’t come from the type of family that can afford to pay his rent. So unless Rowan had wanted to spend the summer in his mom’s unairconditioned apartment, dodging set ups with her mahjong circle’s daughters, this was his only option.

It's nearly 3PM, and Rowan still hasn’t been able to take his lunch break. He knows that’s adding to his bad attitude. Rowan has a tendency to get hangry, or so his coworker Fenrys tells him. And because he was in a rush this morning, he forgot to pack his lunch. Which means he’ll have to spend money buying overpriced crap at the park.

Rowan’s also on trash duty today. Which means he gets to spend the whole day circling the park grounds with a giant broom and pan and pick up the fallen bits of funnel cake and popcorn and soda cups and dump them into the closest trash. Then, once those are full, he gets to haul the heavy bags of stinking trash all the way to the back of the park where the dumpsters are. It’s pretty much his worst nightmare. Though Rowan isn’t opposed to physical activity, he’s not super fond of smelling like rancid garbage. He tugs at the collar of the too tight uniform polo shirt stretching uncomfortably across his chest and frowns. After a bag split all over him earlier, Rowan was forced to go diving in the employee lost and found for another uniform. Apparently, the only person who’s missing a shirt is two times smaller than him. He sniffs himself and nearly gags. He can’t wait to get home and shower. He look at his watch … in … five more hours.

“Whitethorn,” Lorcan calls, crossing across the yard at him. “Take your thirty now. Then you’re taking over for Connall at the ferris wheel ‘til closing, yeah?”

Rowan barely contains a shudder upon hearing his new assignment. He hates trash, but working the ferris wheel is somehow worse. He didn’t realize until last week that’s where every middle schooler goes on their first make out date. He’s had to pull too many kids off the ride, feeling like their disapproving father as he pulled their clashing braces apart to make room for the next patrons in line. Frankly, he finds PDA disgusting. And the sight of thirteen-year-olds going at it is enough to scar him for life.

At least Rowan finally gets to eat something, though. The oppressive mid-day heat combined with hours of physical labor and no fuel has him feeling like he could keel over any second. He grunts his acknowledgement at Lorcan and makes his way to the closest concessions stand, which luckily has barely a line – I guess since it’s 3 fucking PM and not actually lunch time. Rowan is about to step forward when he feels tiny fingers poke against the back of his knees. He’s about to snap at whatever parent to keep their kid on a tighter leash when he realizes there is no parent, just a kid – and the kid is, in fact, trying to get his attention.

“Um, excuse me? Sir?” the little boy says. Rowan’s never been a sir before. He hates it.

“Yeah?”

“I think I lost my family,” he says resolutely, not sounding even a little bit scared. “Can you help me find them?”

Rowan’s stomach grumbles and his head pounds. He knows he has to return this child to his family, but he also knows he needs to eat immediately or he’s going to lose it.

“We can absolutely do that,” Rowan begins, “but I haven’t eaten all day. Do you think you can wait like… ten minutes?”

The little boy nods and sticks out his hand. “I’m Gavin and I’m five.”

“Hey, Gavin. I’m Rowan and I’m hungry.” Gavin giggles at that, and Rowan finally cracks a smile and shakes the boy’s hand.

Rowan steps up to order, thinking about what’s going to be the fastest, since his thirty minute break is going to include an unforeseen detour to security at the entryway of the park. “Can I get a hot dog, a pretzel, a cherry coke and…” He looks at the little boy next to him. “Anything for you?”

Gavin’s eyes widen with glee. “Cotton candy?!”

“…and a cotton candy.”

Rowan reluctantly hands over a $20, saying goodbye to three hours of hard work. But he has no choice. They get their food and make their way to the eating tent. Rowan keeps his eyes open for anyone looking panicked or in search of a child, but he doesn’t see anyone who fits the bill.

Rowan inhales his hot dog in record speed and takes a giant gulp of his cherry coke and immediately feels better. Sitting under the shade of the tent helps, too. The pair sit quietly and eat their food. Gavin swings his legs happily as he peels off pieces of his cotton candy, licking the sticky sugar from his fingers.

“So…” Rowan has no idea how to talk to a kid, but he figures he should ask him a few questions to figure out who to return him to, at least. “Who are you here with today? You said your family?”

Gavin nods excitedly, the sugar clearly starting to make its way through his tiny body. “Yup! My whole family is here today. My mom, my dad, Auntie Ae, Nana and Grandpa.”

“Wow.” Rowan’s heart tugs slightly. “That’s fun. Any special occasion?”

“Nope. We come every week,” Gavin says.

“Every week?” Rowan asks, his voice rising in pitch. He’s trying to do the math of the ticket prices. $30 for six family members. That’s $180. For every week of the summer…? Rowan’s mental math skills stop there, but he knows that’s a LOT more than he’s ever been able to casually throw down.

“Yup. Since I was a baby,” Gavin says. “It’s my family’s special place.”

“Think your family would adopt me?” Rowan jokes. He loves his mom a lot, and she did the absolute best job raising him, but they’ve never had a special place. His mom thinks adding guacamole to her Chipotle bowl is special. Not that Rowan disagrees. Guacamole is a perfect condiment.

Gavin finishes his last lick of cotton candy and holds his red hands up at Rowan. “I’m sticky.”

Rowan shoves the final bite of his pretzel into his mouth and stands up. “Me too. Let’s go wash our hands and then find your family. Sound good?”

Gavin nods, skipping next to Rowan, his little shoes lighting up as he matches the striding pace. They make their way to the row of porta-potties and outdoor sinks, which line the side of the park. As Rowan washes his hands, he notices Gavin struggling to reach the stream of water. Of course. He’s only five.

“Need a hand?” Rowan asks, and Gavin nods, holding his arms up to be lifted. Rowan’s arms burn, since he’s been picking up giant bags of trash all day, but he manages to keep Gavin mid-air until he’s finished cleaning the sugary crystals from his hands. He’s putting Gavin back on the ground when he hears a loud voice shrieking behind him –

“YOU! SIR, STEP AWAY FROM THE CHILD!”

Damn it.

Rowan sighs and turns, letting his hold on Gavin drop completely. This is so not what he needs right now.

“Gavin, honey, come here,” the voice calls again.

Rowan searches to see who the voice belongs to and is momentarily stunned. Gavin’s mom is… young. And hot. Her golden blonde hair is swept away from her face in a high ponytail, resting softly down her bare back, on display in a strappy yellow tank top. And her jean shorts show off her long, tanned legs. Rowan stares a beat too long because the next thing he hears is, “Gavin, earmuffs,” and suddenly the blonde woman is inches away from him, in his face and pushing at his chest with her pointed finger. She is mad.

“Stay away from this little boy, you pervert!” The woman’s eyes flare angrily as she pushes Rowan’s chest again forcefully with her finger, and he is not having any of that. He grabs her finger in his large fist and moves it away from him, making the woman stumble back slightly. Her mouth widens into a small circle as she looks up at the man grabbing her finger.

“I’m sorry, pervert?” He chuckles humorlessly. “This little boy asked for my help finding his irresponsible family. Who lost him. I work here.” Rowan uses his other hand to point to the stupid logo on the corner of his polo. “He happened to find me on my lunch break. Maybe if you’d been a more responsible mother you wouldn’t feel the need to get this worked up the guy who was clearly about to take your kid to security.”

“Mom?” the woman says, horrified and snatches back her finger. “Oh my god.” Her demeanor shifts entirely as she looks to Gavin and motions for him to uncover his ears. “Gavin, please tell this very rude man that I am way too young and cool to be your mom.”

Gavin frowns. “I don’t think he’s rude, Auntie Ae. He gave me cotton candy.”

The woman’s eyebrows shoot up in accusation. ‘You gave him cotton candy? You’re only proving my point.”

Rowan puffs out his chest defensively. “I’m sorry, is cotton candy a sex offender favorite? I wouldn’t know.”

“You clearly offered sweets to a child to lure him away from his family!” she says way too loudly, looking around and making a show of her statement.

“Quiet down!” Rowan snipes through gritted teeth. “I need to keep this job, for fuck’s sake.”

The woman smirks and steps closer. “I think your employer deserves to know you were luring children away from their families!” she exclaims dramatically, attracting the attention of a nearby security guard.

“No,” Rowan says, his voice increasing in volume as well. He’s had it up to here with this day, and this woman has grated his last nerve. “That’s not… Listen…” Rowan takes a deep breath. He really cannot lose this job. “I was starving and about to go on my lunch break when some poor lost kid asked for help finding his family. I told him he could order something with me, since I felt bad. Sorry. I’ll be sure never to be polite ever again.”

Rowan has gotten in “Auntie Ae’s” face, and he’s breathing hard. He’s worked up, and he knows it’s not her fault, but fuck this day.

“Is everything alright here, Ms. Ashryver?” the approaching security guard asks, and Rowan pales.

The woman steps back and takes a breath, her fury melting into a warm smile for the guard. “No, Frank, everything is fine. Just thanking one of our newest employees, who made friends with Gavin today.”

The guard chuckles. “He run off again?”

The woman’s eyes flash in warning and the guard shakes his head. “Ah, don’t be mad, Aelin. You did the same exact thing when you were his age. Running from ride to ride and driving your old man crazy.”

Rowan crosses his arms as the guard saunters off, and the woman turns back to him with a shy smile.

“Ashryver, hm?” Rowan asks, feeling a little ill as he pictures the large Ashryver sign that hangs over the entryway to the park.  “So, what is this, like… hazing?”

“No! I was really only going to make the one joke and then let it go,” the woman says, biting her lip guiltily and shoving her hands into her jean shorts pockets. “But then you called me his mom and I just… got carried away. I do that sometimes. I’m Aelin. Ashryver.”

“So I heard.” Rowan rolls his eyes. “You know there’s absolutely nothing funny about calling someone a predator, right? I could be arrested if the wrong person overheard that.”

“You’re making me feel very bad,” Aelin says with a grimace.

“Good,” Rowan says resolutely. “Because now I’m also late to get back to work.” He’s more than a little annoyed at how this entire exchange has played out. And even more annoyed that he can’t stop staring at Aelin’s bright blue eyes. This is the last thing he needs. He’s about to head off when –

“You’re really not going to tell me your name?” Aelin asks, tilting her head up, trying to figure Rowan out. Rowan’s about to reply when she cuts him off, not even giving him a chance. “That’s fine. I’ll find it out. I have connections, you know.”

“I’m sure you do, princess,” Rowan says. Her lips purse at the nickname, and Rowan can’t tell if she loves it or hates it.  

“See you, stranger,” she replies, dismissing him and grabbing Gavin’s hand as she walks off. Just before turning the corner, she tosses her ponytail over her shoulder and looks back. It’s only when she winks at him that Rowan realizes he’s still standing motionless, watching her go.

[sope-and-shine]

Christmas Special: Day 15

-> Pairing: Jimin x Reader -> Family!AU // Fluff -> Word Count: 4.1k -> Summary: The family trip to Grandma and Grandpa’s house will have to wait until after Christmas. -> Warning(s): Jimin is very suggestive // angsty teen

A/N: This has not been edited.

“And at last I see the light, and It’s like the fog has lifted~” The song from Tangled rings through the car, being echoed back by the child in the middle seat and her father in the driver’s seat in front of her. The man looks to her through his mirror and sings to her, “And at last I see the light.”

“And it’s like they sky is new~” She sings back proudly, her voice quiet, yet confident just like her father had taught her to be. She’d be a strong singer once her lungs developed a bit more, and then Jimin would really be in trouble when she got older. 

You can’t help but watch them both with a smile, enamored in the way your husband smiles at you daughter when they sing together. The passion and the honest truth behind his voice as he uses the song to express his true love for her. His actions were enough to make you melt, and you can’t help it when you interlace your fingers through his as his hand rests on the center console.

“All at once, everything is different, now that I see you.” Jimin sings. He turns his attention from his daughter to the road, and then to your hand placed in his. He pulls it to his lips and places a soft kiss to your knuckles and sending a smile to you as he finishes the song, “Now that I...see you~”

From the backseat, your second eldest watches with pure joy to see her parents love each other so much. She bounces in her seat with excitement, “Has Mommy always been your Princess, Daddy?”

“Mommy’s been Daddy’s Princess since I first met her, but now she’s my Queen.” He explains.

You turn to your daughter, leaning over the arm connected to your husband, “That’s makes you his Princess, Mimi!” 

“I’m a Princess?!” She asks in excitement. She’s immediately overjoyed until she begins to think about everyone else, “Wait, does that mean Hannie is a Prince?”

She’s referring to your 13 year old son sitting in the very back seat with your luggage and the presents disguised as luggage taking over where the seat should be next to him. He has headphones in with his head resting against the window, eyes closed meaning he was probably asleep. He was in the middle of puberty at the moment, so you could understand that he was a little grumpier than he used to be. However, you’re 8 year old daughter wasn’t able to understand that.

You nod to her, trying to remain positive, “Yes, he is. That also makes Taehyung and Taeyoen a Prince and Princess just like you!”

“But Hannie is too grumpy to be a Prince! He can’t be Prince Charming if he makes pouty faces at Princesses!” You daughter argues. She turns to look at her brother minding his own business before she turns back to look at you, “Princes aren’t meanie pants.”

“Hannie has his own way of showing affections, Mimi. Not everyone loves the same way.” Jimin jumps in. His daughter usually listened to him when he tried to reason with her, and respecting his sons personality was important to him. “Hannie makes pouty faces at you, but he still plays with you when you ask him nicely.”

Somi pouts, “Yeah...but still.”

You release your hand from Jimin’s grasp to grab the tablet charging by your feet. You plug in headphones and reach back to hand it over to your daughter, “Why don’t you watch some movies for a little bit, baby? We’ll be at grandma and grandpa’s soon.”

She happily takes it from you, “Okay, Mommy!”

You turn back to the road ahead of you and relax back into your seat. Being in the car for so long was making you tired, but that was to be expected anyway in your condition.

“What are you thinking about, beautiful?” Jimin asks, interrupting your thoughts with a hand placed gently on your knee.

“Oh, you know, just all the fun we’re going to have on this trip.” You place your hand over his and sigh in content, “Your mom has so much planned for us, I don’t know if we’ll be able to do everything she wants to do.”

“Well, I know my parents want to take the kids out, so maybe you and I can get to work on baby number 5?” He gives you a sly wink to indicate he’s joking, your interlocked hands moving to rest a little higher on your leg tells another story.

“Disgusting…” You hear your eldest scoff from the backseat.

You laugh, “Watch yourself, Park Jimin. Our little Hannie is listening.” 

“I can’t help it if my wide is a goddess.” He says nonchalantly, as if the information was just common knowledge amongst everyone. He shrugs, “Besides, how can I not want another baby when we make them so well?”

You shake your head, “I’m not a baby factory Jimin.”

“I know, and I appreciate your willingness to comply despite that.” He says with fake acceptance, his head leaning towards you.

You lean forward and move his head back towards the long road ahead of you, “Keep your eyes on the road, you dog.”

“If I do that will you pet me?” He asks suggestively.

You hear your son groan from the back, “Can you turn the music up so my ears don’t have to hear this?!”

“Yah! You’re wearing headphones, what’s the problem?” Jimin yells back. He would not be mocked or scorned by your son, even if he was being mildly inappropriate. But he had a right to be inappropriate with his wife in his own car. “Sheesh, your son is something else…”

“Oh, so now our baby is just my son? Seems fishy to me.” You say, crossing your legs in a dramatic fashion. You both continue to watch the road ahead of you, watching as the snow continues to come down lightly, and then harder and harder as every mile goes by. “Could this snow get any worse?”

And as Murphy’s Law would have it, the soft snow raining down soon turned into a mixture of snow and sleet raining down on you. Jimin sighs, “I think you spoke too soon, (Y/n). I can’t even see through this!”

“Should we pull over and see if it gets better?” You ask.

The soft music that was playing through the XM stereo your husband had purchased is interrupted by a loud beeping noise, “Attention: The National Weather Service has put a winter advisory from 10:00pm December 23rd to 7am December 24th for the following districts: Buk District, Busanjin District, Dong District, Dongnae District, Gangseo District, Geumjeong District, Haeundae District, Jung District, Nam District, Saha District-”

You interrupt the announcement, “They’re just listing off every district in Busan, Jimin.”

He squeezes your hand, “Let’s just keep listening.”

“-We’re expecting strong winds of over 50 mph, and mix of ice and snow. Please take shelter and stay away from windows. Again, the National Weather Service has-” 

Jimin removes his hand from yours and switches from the radio to his phone music, “I’ll take the next exit and we’ll find a hotel for the night.”

You nod in agreement, “I’ll call and see who has opening before I call your parents.”

You start scrolling through your phone to look for the closest hotel with decent reviews, looking up every now and then to see the snow getting harder. You find something coming up for the next exit and decide to give them a shot.

As Jimin takes the exit coming up, Hansol notices the change in speed and looks around, “Hey, why are we getting off here? Is it time for a bathroom break?” 

“There’s a snowstorm coming through, Hannie, it’s not safe to be out like this. We’re going to find a hotel to take shelter in for the night.” Jimin explains, taking the exit slower than he normally would.

“But what about Grandma and Grandpa?” He asks. 

Jimin sighs, “It’s only for one night, Hannie.”

“Dad-” “This isn’t a discussion, Hansol. We’re stopping.” 

The car goes back to silence except for the talking you’re doing on the phone, “Yes, we need a suite if possible. Really? That’s amazing! We’ll be there soon. Thank you so much. Yes, have a great Holiday to you as well.” You hang up the phone and return to the page where the hotel’s address is, “The hotel I just called has a suite that we can take. Let me put the address on my phone and we can get there.”

The directions to your in-law’s house changes to the hotel, and soon you find yourself turning into the lot of the large hotel. As Jimin drives up to the front door where you can check in, you start to pull on your coat. “I’ll go check us in if you want to get the kids ready to leave the car. I’ll bring a luggage cart back out and Hannie and I can get everything and everyone inside while you park the car.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He nods. He puts the car in park and undoes his seatbelt, “Use the card with Taehyung and Taeyoen’s faces.”

“Will do.” You hop out of the car quickly, shutting the door before the cold air can disturb the warmth inside the car.

Jimin turns around to his children and reaches to shake his eldest daughters leg behind his seat, “Mimi~ Somi, wake up baby.”

“Taehyungie~Taeyoennie~ Up up up!” Hansol urges, shaking his siblings lightly.

Taeyeon rubs her eyes, “Are we there?”

“No, Princess. We’re going to stop for tonight.” Jimin explains.

“Where’s Mommy?” Taehyung asks.

“Mommy is inside getting us a place to stay. Let’s get our coats on, okay?” The three younger children start pulling on their coats, trying to put their shoes back on if they were taken off during the trip. Jimin does his best to help and turns to his eldest momentarily, “Hansol, go ahead and get the bags next to you ready to go for your mother.”

“Sure thing, Dad.” The teenager begins to shuffle the bags around, making sure you’ll be able to grab the heavy ones easily to place on the bottom of the cart you were bringing back. 

“Alright, I have our keys.” You say from the trunk, having come back from inside. You immediately begin removing bags from the trunk with your sons help while your husband continues bundling up your younger children. He grabs the bags on the floor of the middle row and pulls them into the passenger seat next to him,“I’ll take care of the bags up here after I park the car, babe.” 

“Okay.” You place the last bag on the cart and turn to offer a hand to your son to help him out of the car. “Take the cart inside Hannie, I’m going to send Somi in after you, okay?”

“Okay, Mom.” He nods, grabbing the cart and heading inside with everything. You close the trunk and go to the side door to pull Taehyung and Taeyeon into your arms, standing next to the door so Somi could hold onto you if she needed to. You close the car door and rush after her into the warm lobby to wait for your husband to join you with the rest of the bags.

Jimin runs in with his hood up and three backpacks on his arm. He shakes snow off of him and reaches to take your youngest son out of your arms, “Let’s get to our room.”

You all reach the room and make quick work to get your children settled while your eldest and your husband unload the luggage cart to return it to the front desk, “I’ll take the luggage cart back down to the lobby, Dad.”

“Thank you, Hannie.” Jimin smiles.

You finish pulling out the last toothbrush and stand up tall, “Let’s get ready for bed!”

You and your husband help your children get ready for bed, Hansol helping as well when he gets back from returning the cart. You all take turns in the bathroom prepping for bed, and it feels amazing when you get the last child to bed and you can fall into bed next to your husband after driving for so long.

You can’t help but to cuddle into his warmth, holding on tight to him like he would disappear by the time you woke up the next morning. Even he can feel it.

“Everything will be fine in the morning, (Y/n). Get some rest, beautiful.” He whispers, placing a soft kiss to your forehead before resting his own against yours.

-----

“Mommy! Daddy! You gotta look outside! It’s so pretty!” You hear Taehyung yell from under closed lids. You can feel the jumping from beside you, and you already know he’s attacked your husband by the groan of pain he lets out beside you.

Jimin sighs, “Taehyung, you need to calm down.” 

You open your eyes and see your youngest son climbing off of his father, begging to be followed back out the door to the main area of the suite you had rented last night. You can’t help but laugh at the irony of how similar he was to his namesake, “You shouldn’t have named him after Taehyung...he’s a carbon copy.”

“He can’t be a carbon copy if he’s my son.” Jimin protests, rolling over to cling to his pillow.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You tease. Your smile turns to a wicked one, “Unless…”

Jimin doesn’t like that response, and is quick to attack you with everything he has, “Why you-!” “Agh! Jimin, no!”

 “Daddy! Stop attacking Mommy!” Taehyung demands, stomping his little foot on the floor. He races back to the bed where your husband tries to punish you and climbs back up enough to pull at his father’s pants, “You have to come and look outside!”

“Okay, we’re coming.” Jimin groans, swatting at the little boys hands to let go of his pants. 

Your son runs away as you sit up to leave the bed, but your Husband is quick to pull you into his lap so he can whisper his very real threat into your ear, “You and I will have a very detailed discussion later.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, pervert.” You say, rushing him off and escaping his grasp. You follow the sound of your excited children to the living room and feel your heart drop at the sight of the snow piled high and mighty in the vast parking lot. “Oh no...Jimin.”

“It can’t be that bad.” Your husband tries to reason, coming up behind you to take a look for himself. You shake your head, “Jimin, it’s up to our bumper!”

“Can we play in the snow after breakfast?” Taeyeon asks, bouncing beside you. Her twin is quick to join her, “Can we?!”

“Can we?!” Somi asks.

“We’ll see.” Jimin says. His phone goes off from the pocket of his sweats and he pulls it out to look at the caller ID. He sighs, “My mom.”

You shake your head, “I’ll get them ready to eat breakfast.”

By the time Jimin was done talking to his mother, you had all of your children ready to go and eat downstairs at the breakfast the hotel offered. It was a piece of cake getting them all settled in at a table with their food and drinks.

“Pancakes!” Taehyung cheers excitedly, digging his fork right into the soft treat.

Taeyeon watches as her father cuts up her food in front of her with the same delight, “Waffles!”

“Peace and quiet…” Hansol mumbles, shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth instead.

“Daddy, are you going to eat your bacon?” Somi asks, her mouth slightly full with eggs and the bacon that was on her plate a moment ago.

Jimin swallows his food, “Yes.”

“Oh…” The small child seems to be disappointed at first until she shrugs, “Can I have it anyway?”

Jimin stares in shock, and you’re quick to react to the situation, “How about we get you your own bacon so Daddy can eat his?”

“But Daddy picked that bacon, so it has to be the best bacon if he picked it!” She argues.

“Well, can’t argue with that.” Jimin shrugs, relenting to his daughter’s wishes and dropping some bacon onto her plate.

“And now an important weather announcement-” You turn from your family to look at the TV above the bar across from your table. “It looks like residents everywhere are waking up to piled in cars across the southern region of the country. The weather front that came in last night that still seems to be going, doesn’t look like it will be giving in anytime soon. Get that hot chocolate out and ready, because your regular shovel won’t be able to do much for this weather folks. Roads everywhere won’t be open until the state can get plows through the tough snow. We’re definitely looking at a ‘White Christmas’.”

“Does this mean we aren’t going to make it to Grandma and Grandpa’s for Christmas?” Hansol asks.

“Let’s just keep an eye on the weather and see if it clears up.” You says, trying to make light of the situation. There was no guarantee that you would leave today or tomorrow, but there was no way of knowing that you wouldn’t. You take a sip of your tea, “As long as it clears up and the roads are plowed, we’ll be able to keep going.”

He rolls his eyes - the first mistake, “So, in other words we’re stuck here and you don’t know if we’ll be able to actually celebrate Christmas right, right?”

“That’s not what I said, Hannie.” You say.

“No, it is.” He argues.

“Hansoel, you need to watch your tone with your mother. There’s no reason to pick up an attitude.” Jimin warns, giving your son the look that says he needs to really watch what he’s doing before he gets in trouble for it.

“I’m not picking up an attitude!” He huffs. Your son gets up from his chair and storms out of the breakfast room, heading off in the direction of the lobby. Jimin calls after him, “Hansoel.”

You place a hand on Jimin’s arm to calm him down, “It’s okay, Chim...let him be. He’s disappointed right now. He’s allowed to feel frustration, and we can’t just punish him for feeling.”

“You’re right.” He sighs.

“Is Hannie going to be okay?” Taehyung asks, syrup all over his face.

“Hannie will be just fine, baby.” You assure. You take a napkin from the table to try and clean the area around his mouth - much to his disappointment, “Let’s finish our breakfast and see what there is to do, okay?”

After a whole day of nothing, you can really understand Hansol’s outburst from the morning. He did eventually apologize to you, but you couldn’t help but feel for him. He was really excited to be with his grandparents for Christmas, and now he was stuck in a hotel nowhere near his home or any familiar home. With all your children asleep in time for Santa to come, you can’t help but to sit in your thoughts staring out the window as you wait for your husband to finish in the bathroom.

Jimin steps in from the bathroom, hair slightly damp and phone in hand. He sighs, “They don’t think the roads are going to be clear by tomorrow, babe.”

“What are we going to do?” You ask, “The kids were so excited to spend Christmas with your parents, and now we have them locked away in a hotel with nothing to do!”

“Hey, that doesn’t matter.” He sits beside you on the bed and pulls you into his embrace, rubbing comforting circles into your shoulder, “Christmas is just about us being together as a family.”

You sigh, “Yeah, but not for kids, Chim. This year was supposed to be special.”

He nods in understanding, looking as seldom as you do, but his face suddenly brightens up, “We can still make it special~” 

“What did I tell you about that 5th baby?” You ask, taking his response in the wrong way.

“I’m not talking about that, woman!” He defends himself. He stands from the bed and goes to the couch by the door where he left his slippers, “Let’s make this a Christmas that they’re never going to forget!”

---

Somi wakes up the next morning needing to use the restroom. She hops out of bed and rushes down the hallway with her feet to the room right beside the one she’s currently in. When she goes to leave, she can’t help but notice the garland that now hangs from the room in front of her. No tree, but under the garland is a pile of presents waiting to be opened by her and her family. 

The young 8 year old can’t bear to hide her excitement and quickly runs to her older brother in the room where she had been sleeping in. She races into the room so fast that she knocks the air out of him when she tackles him, “Woah! Hannie! Hannie, Christmas came!”

“Somi, get off of me!” He groans, rolling over to push her off of him.

She falls to the floor with a soft thought, but she doesn’t let that deter her, “But, Santa came, Hannie! He decorated our room for us too!”

“What?” He asks, still not completely awake.

“Mommy…?” On the other bed in the room, Taeyeon sits up on the bed she shares with her brother, rubbing her eyes in hopes of waking up.

At the mention of her mother, Somi jumps down from her brother’s bed and races into the room er parents are staying in. Just like with her brother, she launches herself on top of her father - earning a groan of pain - and hopping up and down in excitement, “Mommy! Daddy!” “Mommy! Daddy! You have to come and look at what Santa did to our room last night! You have to look at the presents he left!”

“Okay, we’re coming Princess.” You assure her, sitting up slowly. 

She slides off of her father - much to his relief - and races back into the living room to join her now wide awake siblings. As you and your husband join her with sleep still in your eyes, you can hear the excited sounds of your children, “Santa came! Santa came!”

“What happened in here?” You ask, taking in the work you had done last night with your husband. It wasn’t anything impressive - just whatever the hotel had left over that they let you borrow - but it was enough for them.

Hansol shrugs, already knowing what must’ve happened, “Santa must’ve wanted to make us feel like we were at home for Christmas.”

“He sure did a good job.” Jimin compliments, sending a wink your way.

“Can we open presents?” Taehyung asks.

“Of course you can.” You sit down on the couch closest to the presents and look to your 8 year old, “Somi, why don’t you pass everyone their presents?”

Your daughter is more than happy to hand out presents to everyone, separating them with ease and even moving her grandparents gift to the side for when they get to see him. One by one, everyone received a present and then another and another until only a few were left.

“Daddy! Santa left one for you too!” Somi says excitedly, handing over the last gift for her father.

“Oh~ Did he now? Let’s see what he brought me.” He teases, giving you another daring wink. He unwraps the box and you can feel your stomach flip as he rips open the top and pulls out the cute baby bib. He laughs, “Looks like Santa wants us to have another family member too.”

You shrug, “Or he already knows that there’s another one on the way.”

The look on Jimin’s face is priceless as he looks between you and the baby bib in his hands, letting it all sink in before his smile overtakes his face, “Don’t mess with me. You’re serious?!” 

“Yeah.” You assure him, feeling all the anxiety in you bubble away as you can finally reveal to him that he will indeed be getting the 5th child he’s been asking for.

He wraps you in his embrace, and your other children are quick to follow even if a few don’t understand what’s happening. But in this moment, having your family all together, everything just feels right.

[tarredion]

Dan or Da?

Birthday gift for @watergator!!

Words: 9k

Rating: Teen & up

Tags: parent!phan, friends to lovers, pretend relationship (not what you think), misunderstanding, getting together, implied sexual content, marriage, canon divergence, pov alternating

Summary: One day can change your life forever. For Phil, his daughter Mel, and Dan, who'd have guessed that day would be one when they're out doing ordinary shopping together.

ao3 link or read under the cut

It was a fine March morning, the faint light dancing in through the tall windows of Phil’s apartment. He was still asleep, tangled in the sweaty chequered sheets of his bed, but in the first phase of stirring and waking. Just about still dreaming.

Today they were all going to go shopping together, again. The again didn’t matter much in the mind of a lovesick fool like him, however, not when thinking about how gorgeous and kind Dan was, and especially not when faced with indulging in his beautifully brown eyes for hours on end.

Phil decided he’d stick to his ordinary morning routine, despite his jitters and nerves. He got up unprompted at seven, then showered. He made breakfast, waited for Melinda to wake so he could get her dressed, and then they ate the scrambled eggs with toast and cereal together.

Mel was the most adorable, curly haired ginger (and child) he’d ever seen, even ranking above his rather pretty sister-in-law.

He even matched her now that he’d dyed his quiff reddish brown instead of black. Marveling in that was their favorite past-time together, and even Dan’s when he came over, it seemed, and so they did while they ate and got ready to leave.

The thing he wasn’t about to think of right now was how her curls and his new hair made her look like a mix between him and Dan.

He’d adopted Melinda almost 2 years ago, while she was still a baby. It had been a great decision on his part, in many ways, and it was his own way of spreading more good in the world. He didn’t regret it, ever. His existence was fulfilled and he felt incredibly happy to care for her.

He loved her, even if he knew she wasn’t biologically his. Though of course it had made more sense to adopt, for him, than going out and having a child with a woman would’ve. Phil was very very gay. And now out, too.

Unfortunately, having a child had meant moving from his and Dan’s shared apartment into new accommodation.

While he’d always felt like they could’ve been the perfect little family, like they still sorta were and really always had been, Mel, him, and his best friend- and also crush -Dan... Phil hadn’t ever wanted a child to negatively affect Dan’s schedule and personal decisions. Especially since he had no idea if Dan could even like him back. Nothing of the kind had been properly initiated in the twelve years they’d known each other, and he had had no input in Phil’s adoption of a child anyways.

And despite all of the turmoil that came along with the decision, Dan had stayed his perfect self throughout it all, and stayed in their lives even up until today. He had cared, he had been reassuring to the new single dad Phil, as best friends do, and he was a great father-figure and role-model to Melinda. Phil wished it would forever stay that way, even if his own feelings would go unrequited.

The truth was Phil thought Dan was the most perfect person to have ever walked the earth.

He had soft, chocolate curls, which Phil was glad he had stopped ironing a couple of years back. The very simple, intimate feeling of running his hands through them, and playing with them, was incredible.

Freckles, small and almost invisible on his tan skin, appeared whenever he went out into the sun for more than a few hours, and at the same time he’d be encased in a golden aura, created by the light. Before they’d have been stroked rather often, and it still sent tingles from the tips of Phil’s fingers whenever he thought back to the past.

Dan’s arms and thighs were round and soft, and his tummy essentially a pillow Phil used to like to lay on; now it was merely a distant memory, with their busy lives.

Realising he was drifting off into deep thoughts while brushing Melinda’s hair was as always the most embarrassing experience of the routine- it happened almost every day now -since his adorable daughter seemed to know the reason he went quiet and still. A true mind reader of her father, Phil Lester the psychic.

She giggled, pulled on the hem of his finest form-fitting blue button-up (totally not chosen so he could woo Dan), and then told him in her calmest, most mock-serious toddler voice: “Papaaa, Da is waiting, no time to waste!”

And as always Phil blushed at the almost-three-year-old’s words, for Da is what she called Dan after Phil had slipped up by using the nickname during her early days. Many, many more times than he could count doing. (Still, it was sweet of her.)

He still would, in private, for she insisted on them calling him that, to his dismay. There he wouldn’t have to explain himself, at least. In the beginning he had had to, all the time, to Dan himself. Even if they both knew it was a lie that Melinda would simply miss the ‘n’ at the end of his name, Phil didn’t want to get caught out thinking of Dan as his counterpart; as Melinda’s other father.

Still he whispered to her that they’d be seeing Da soon enough, ignoring the shame that uncurled in his chest while he did, and continued brushing with a heated face and shaking, clammy hands. He was sure the nerves would never stop, and at this rate his crush could never stop simmering.

Soon enough they were stood in the hallway, and Phil pulled a snug jacket closed over Mel’s small torso, which he’d clad in a matching purple-orange-black jumper to his own Topman version. For a second she tried to copy what he’d done with his own jacket, her small and chubby hands fiddling incomprehensibly with the zipper and her tounge out in concentration, and then she sighed.

As soon as her hands fell to her side she looked up at her father with big doe eyes, and she didn’t even have to do that for him to comply. Phil could feel a grin melt onto onto his face as he helped his daughter out, and as soon as he was done he took her little hand in his, squeezing it.

“Come on. Let’s meet Da and go shopping.”

Her little giggles were happy-fuel for days.

-

Dan woke up to the sound of his shrill alarm blaring in his ears, and he’d never felt grumpier than 6 o'clock this particular morning. He was always grumpy when waking early to the loneliness of his shabby bedroom, and to finding the apartment empty. The absence of Phil was all he could call it. Damn his stupid crush on his beautifully dumb, handsome best friend!

The hole in his heart dug itself deeper, and the grumpiness got even worse, of course, after he’d had sleepovers at Phil’s place, and had been spending extra time with Melinda, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt on ordinary days like this one.

It took him an extra 20 minutes to get up, faced with the prospect of seeing the two of them later on in the day. Scratch that, actually; seeing Phil’s handsome face in glasses with a quiff? That would kill him on any day, even if not face to face. And with Mel? Heartbreak, and terror would come into play, but also utterly adorable.

The only thing that could make his situation worse was thinking about Phil having a partner, an actual second father to Melinda. So his brain did, and he spent another ten minutes washing his face, trying to get the ugly, sneering, gasoline-esque jealousy to gurgle down the drain. Not that he was incredibly, super duper jealous.

Toast, like literally all other mornings, got burnt when Dan stood too long and stared at the dumb multicoloured chairs Phil and him had picked out so many years ago, or debated on which mug he should choose out of the ones Phil had liked so much, and had left here. He’d only taken two mugs with him to his new place almost two years ago, his absolute favourite, and the one he said was for Dan when he came over. Even when he used it Dan did not entertain the idea that he was actually telling the truth. If someone else moved in, the best friend would certainly have to give that mug up in a heartbeat for Phil’s actual partner.

Okay, maybe he was incredibly, super duper, uglily jealous.

Eventually Dan ended up not drinking coffee at all, and stuffing his face with cereal wasn’t an option to replace the crispy piece of toast. For obvious reasons.

After the unappetizing, unsatisfying- but not unusual -breakfast of crispy ash bread, he went and brushed his teeth for what most people would consider too long. Then again he was a perfectionist, even when it came to tooth hygiene (Phil shouldn’t have to stand his stinky breath was the real reason, but who was he to say that out loud in an empty place where the only resident knew it by heart already).

It took Dan waaaay too long to choose himself an acceptable outfit, turning and shuffling in the mirror and wardrobe alike. He wanted to look good; attractive. Maybe even wear something that he could pursue or tease Phil with if the chance ever came up (it hadn’t before, but he’d rather be ‘unnecessarily prepared’ than miss a shot now that his best friend could drift away and leave his life for another guy any second…), but the off the shoulder striped jumpers & translucent shirts seemed too obvious and over the top.

They weren’t safe for work nor shop appropriate, at least not with what they lead to in his wandering mind. Phil was his best friend and had a young child, for christ’s sake. Wooing, if it worked through the power of fashion, shouldn’t have them moving in the fast lane to that destination!

He turned over some old merch and skinny jeans, without any luck. There were questionable sizes, fits, and textures in there, and of course that old lube bottle he had been determined even an out-and-proud gay man like his best friend shouldn’t have to see. It had always been questionably empty, after long lonely nights when he had been unable to help himself by just thinking, and had had to put some of AmazingPhil’s most risque old videos on replay. Desperately hoping Phil wouldn’t hear or see anything while passing Dan’s room during one of his nighttime wanderings for snacks. Even nowadays, when Phil rarely came to their old place, it stayed at the bottom of the drawer, as if he wanted to hide the shame that seemed to gurgle within him.

Dan rummaged some more, and was soon left with a messy bed, an invisible floor, and just one option left in the bottom of his drawer. It might’ve seem dumb, because it was, but the Philion shirt did give him nostalgia, even if it probably was too tight to wear, so many years after he last did.

And yet again, Dan was drawn in by the seemingly idiotic, wild idea, and put it on. It took some effort, but it ended up being not too short on him, if he pulled his pants up as far as he could with his flat ass and dysfunctional belt, and it hugged his shoulders and chest rather nicely.

A bit tight, yes, but that was just another thing to add to the list of things he’d like to see Phil’s reaction to when they met up at the store.

So, he was off, black, ripped skinny jeans pulled as high as could go, and a shirt that was very intimately hugging him, while also proudly proclaiming him as Phil trash number one. The only owner of such a special shirt, custom made for him. He pulled his jacket tight around him, fingers laced around his phone, and while fighting the breeze he trudged on in the Spring cold.

The London wind tugged on Dan’s curls as he passed coffee shops and block after block. He felt hunger growing in his tummy, but that could wait, since he was going to eat lunch at Phil and Melinda’s afterwards and would be tended to. His best friend was always keen on taking care of him, and was annoyingly good at it, which only fueled Dan’s annoying crush on him even more. If it could even be called a crush anymore, and not stupid, unrequited love..

A crush was meant to be short term by definition, wasn’t it, and not lasting for 12 years. Closer to 15 if you counted the time when he was just a fan with his boxers in a twist for a celebrity!!!

The grey sky dampened his mood even more than his thoughts could, and his gaze stayed tilted towards the ground until he heard Phil’s voice in the distance, carried alongside Mel’s giggles to his numb ears. He couldn’t help the small smile that came upon his features, and which then grew as he looked up to see an absolutely adorable Phil sitting on a bench next to the entrance, tickling an equally adorable Melinda and giggling along with her.

The swoop of his quiff and his pretty blue eyes glittering beneath his glasses and his tongue out his mouth- it was going to be a long, long day, if Dan’s brain was already shortcutting. Still he went up to him, a wide smile on his face.

“Hi, Phil!”

-

Hugging his daughter tightly for protection from the cold, while tickling her and sharing her joyous laughter, seemed to be a delightful and effective way to pass time for Phil, because after what felt like both seconds and hours after they arrived at the store, Dan walked up to them, a wide grin on his face. He said his cheerful greeting to Phil, and then when he moved on to Mel, Phil was able to properly zone out from their conversation and oogle him. Not the most fashionable word for it, but he couldn’t help having his eyes wander in the way it described.

He’d never stop using the word gorgeous to describe him.

Dan’s hair was a frizzy mess from presumably the breeze (it hurt to think it could be from a rough makeout session), and his smile lit up and crinkled his eyes, making him more gorgeous than ‘usual’.

Wearing skinny jeans that were always too tight and too low in the back seemed to be Dan’s speciality, so Phil could see a real difference today, even if that view was still extraordinary. It was as if he’d made a conscious effort to pull them up- not that the effort actually made it work better -as if to not expose his tummy.

Because god was that shirt too tight and rode up quite a bit! Not in a bad bad way, of course, but the Philion shirt had always been that way and had always hugged Dan in the right places. Sometimes Phil had been brave enough to comment on it, disguising his attraction and need to compliment him on it as pointing out the model of the shirt itself. He was the creator and the one who was meant to have sold unsold merch, after all.

In the end Dan, aka the self-proclaimed Phil trash number one, had been the only person in the world to own one. A custom made one at that, since Phil modeled it after Dan’s body. Which felt great for Phil, really, because whenever Dan wore it to appreciate that Phil had made it, it was almost like he was showcasing support for his boyfriend. Even if that was just a dopamine-lie his brain made up to satisfy his craving for an alternate universe where the three of them were a true family.

Phil studied Dan’s glowing face while he played with Melinda, feeling the dark hole of wishes and half-truths and unexplored possibilities in his heart fill up with all those goodie feelings he never knew how to explain. Another beautiful thing with Dan was that he never needed Phil to explain them, as he just knew and understood. Most of them anyways. Some still needed to be unearthed.

He smiled as Dan grabbed a handful of his daughter’s cheek with his left hand, and then his own with his right. Maybe he should stop being afraid of not spending an eternity with him as a lover.

“I think we should go inside.. We’re here for shopping, don’t you know?”

Dan broke eye contact with Mel, his eyes wide as he realised he’d been holding them up, and he positioned his arms so he could get a grip of her. “Yeah, um, right. Shopping. Shopping time.” he mumbled, while scooping her up. She squealed with glee, and brought his smile back for just a second, while his own only grew wider and warmer.

He nudged Dan’s arm to give him some reassurance. “I’ll take to collecting the stuff, you can push her in the shopping cart.”

Jeez, so domestic! whisper-shouted his inner voice, praying on his dangerously exposed feelings. Phil pushed it away, for later.

The urge to boop his nose and wipe the redness of his chubby cheeks became almost too hard to resist for Phil, so he slotted into Dan’s side with relative ease, keeping his eyes on his daughter, and they made their way inside with only one stumble of his clumsy feet.

Phil traversed the store, clutching his shopping list in one hand, grazing the items on the shelves with the other. Dan followed a few steps behind him, not minding that Phil was essentially in his own world, while playing and talking with Melinda. There were only a couple more things left on the list now, so he wasn’t surprised when he heard the sound of the half-full cart fade away, a sign Melinda must be restless. Even less surprised when Dan began speaking.

“Phil?”

He didn’t stop scanning the shelves for their preferred brand of milk, but he let his voice sound less disconnected from the conversation than he felt it was.

“Ye?”

“She’s quite distracted right now and she’s-”

“Bored!” Mel interjected gleefully.

“Yeah, bored.” Dan sighed, though there was laughter on his lips. Phil could see his adoring half-smile play around in his head, dancing with his weak heart. “I’ll take her over to the toy-section. Won’t buy anything, of course, it’s your child, um, choice and all-”

“Dan. It’s fine. I get it.”

“I’ll just be over there, okay. Call if you need me, or the cart. Cart. Of course. Or Mel.”

Phil smiled at his flutterings, and was for once glad he stood with his back turned.

The familiar sound of the doors at the front opening echoed through the store as Dan pushed Mel away. Phil himself pulled out a carton of milk from a stack and continued on his way around the corner. A new customer joining them was usually nothing to worry about.

Right?

Hauling a bag of crisps, a carton too little of milk, and two family-sized boxes of cereal turned out to be quite a challenge for a klutz like him. Being the literal definition of a bull in a china shop- if you asked a grinning Dan anyways, and even Mel under his guidance -Phil should’ve seen that the outcome wouldn’t be the most favourable. He stumbled through the aisles, on his way to get a final component he’d forgotten-

crash!

“Oh! I am terribly, terribly sorry!” a distant voice (that was distinctly not Dan’s) cried out. Phil couldn’t quite see the source, though a shorter formless blur next to him seemed to be it, as his glasses had fallen of from the force. His head pounded a little from shock, but otherwise steadying himself against the glass doors had been a great idea, because he was still holding all of the shopping, and nothing seemed to have been squashed.

Not many seconds later a cold pair of hands reached up and put his frames back on. It took him a few seconds of blinking to adjust to the sharpness they brought to his vision, but soon he was fine again.

“Oh!” he heard somewhere below his chin, again. “You’re Philip!”

Startling at hearing his own name, his eyes found the top of a brown bob, followed by a kind, round, pale face, and then a stout, middle aged woman dressed in a deep forest-green knitted jumper appeared. There was something familiar about her, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint it yet.

“Hello!” she smiled, her tone taking pity in his silence. While stretching out a knobbly, but friendly, hand for him to take, she continued: “I’m Lorraine, a cousin of your dear mother! I don’t suppose we’ve met in person before.”

Then it clicked where he’d seen her face before. Of course, on facebook, like with all other distant relatives he had little to no connection with. Though she seemed nice enough, so it’d be awfully rude of him to refuse the handshake, even with his anxiety- even if that was his anxiety’s fault in the first place.

Phil resisted the urge to run his hand through his hair, and gave her a decent handshake instead. “Hi! Nice to meet you, Lorraine. Out for some shopping, you too?”

“Ah yes, just like you and your husband I’ve been brought here by the magnetic pull to food created by hunger! Unfortunately I don’t have a little one myself to help.” she laughed, and then winked. “I’ll say, you do have an absolutely adorable curly little girl together! Really taking after the both of you well.”

Oh.

People assumed that about them?

Phil ignored the way his skin tingled and his stomach fluttered, and the way his heart grew ten times, until the options able to satisfy his romantic hunger filled his head.

WEll, he thought, it wouldn’t hurt to pretend that was a reality, now would it? It wasn’t like Lorraine was the type of person to post about her every conversation on facebook, at least from what he knew about her from before. This was just harmless banter with a person that was incredibly unlikely to spread a word-for-word quote. And Dan couldn’t hear what they were saying from that distance.

“Yea, Mel’s a very well-behaved kid, too, but I guess that just means Dan and I are raising her well!“ Phil responded, with about as much enthusiasm as he could muster (which didn’t feel fake, for some reason?). He glanced over at the section with toys, and felt his eyes crinkle up like paper in flames when they grazed over Dan and Melinda, who were both looking dashing and cute next to the other, as Lorraine had pointed out.

“Melinda’s her name then, I suppose, Philip. Suits her... I haven’t seen you posting about her on social media, or even much about your husband. How come?”

“It’s..” jeez, lying was harder than he’d have thought. “I have a large following, many fans that follow me for my work, and both Dan and I thought it’d be best for her if she grew up out of the public eye, y’know. With how being child stars typically affect younglings, we didn’t want her to feel pressure like that. It also gives the two of us more privacy, because that’s- we’re private people, after all.” Not too far from the truth, Phil. Great.

Lorraine nodded in agreement, and turned back to him after watching his supposed husband and child again. “Well, it won’t hurt if I go say hi to them, and then we can all continue with our day, separately.”

Oh.

Phil felt like he’d been glued to the soles of his boots, as he watched her walk away. His throat dried up like a desert in high summer, and the lump that had been losing weight in the depths of his stomach grew to ten times its size, and became ironmade. The footsteps echoed in his ears, and through the whole shop, like the countdown of a bomb ready to blow up his whole reality.

Of course she wasn’t going to just say hi to one of them! Especially not after finding out they were married!

He really hadn’t though this out, had he... Then it hit him. Dan would know how he felt now, because there was no way someone as clever as Dan Howell (distinctly not-Lester) would miss what it meant if your best friend was willing to pretend you were their husband, without your knowledge, and be happily content with the feelings and implications it brought.

Shit.  

Yes, Lorraine was right. This wouldn’t blow up the internet with some reveal of a secret child and a gay marriage between two famous youtuber friends. Instead it’d make everything he knew come crashing down, and he’d have his feelings for Dan thrown into the open, and he’d be absolutely humiliated for them. For wanting them to be true. For feeding into a fantasy for his own selfish gain. Dan would probably also feel humiliated, and then leave them, once he knew.

Shitshitshit

-

“Da! Pweaseeeee.” Melinda giggled excitedly, reaching for the Pikachu Dan held in his hand. He laughed heartily back at her, marveling in the nickname that made his insides curl with warmth, since it was very clearly one meant for a father of hers, and he would very much like to assume that position. It didn’t matter however many times a flustered Phil had tried to explain it away, because they both knew Mel could say Dan’s name perfectly fine. Though he had wondered silently as to why he’d be so flustered about it- Hopefully not because Dan wasn’t meant to be her other father, and it’d be embarrassing for Phil if she called him that in front of a special someone.

He pushed his other hand gently on her chest, keeping her just out of reach with as little force as possible. He really did not want to see her in harm’s way. Whenever he’d thought about how little it could take to see her hurt, his heart ached more than it did when he thought of Phil getting hurt, and that said something.

Lifting the plushie higher still, Dan allowed himself a couple of seconds to look over at Phil and the old lady he’d crashed into. They seemed to be getting along alright, even if Dan recognised some of the things Phil did when he was nervous. At least he wasn’t trying to run away, so he seemed fine.

Then, a terrible need to know what they were saying settled next to the warmth in his chest, the very second Phil looked over to them, shortly followed by the gaze of the stout woman. His eyes were crinkled, as they were whenever he was incredibly happy, like when watching Melinda say her first proper word, or when she walked to him for the first time.

And like when they met on the train station for the first time, and all other times afterwards, but he’d rather not think about that day or any others like it right now.

Dan was unsure if Phil was even properly studying what they were doing, but if he was, he didn’t want to make a fool of himself by looking like a bad influence. So he gave the Pikachu back to Mel, made some questionable pokemon sounds, and tickled her, for good measure. They laughed together again, and when he glanced back up he saw the woman leaving Phil, and making her way over. He raised an eyebrow at Phil who didn’t pay him any attention, and then turned his own to the new face.

“Hello, my name’s Dan. This here is Melinda.” he said, gesturing to Phil’s curly ginger child, before the stranger (or he supposed now not) could even reach all the way to the cart, since the uncertainty of their conversation still hung over his head.

Introducing herself as Lorraine, Kath’s cousin, she greeted first Dan and then Mel. Neither of them kept any smalltalk going, because it seemed like that option had been sucked dry while she talked to Phil. She entertained the little almost-three-year-old and occasionally threw some offhand comment at him about her personality or how cute something she said/did was.

It took Dan just a while too long to realise she repeatedly called Melinda Phil and his child, and introduced herself as his mother-in-law Kath’s cousin.

So long, in fact, that it didn’t register in his mind that it wasn’t a normal thing until she wished Da and his husband good luck with their shopping.

Because he didn’t have a husband. And he was only out shopping with Phil.

And then she was leaving, and it hit him square in the face that for whatever reason, she had perceived Phil to be his husband.

Why the fuck would she think something like that? Had Phil not corrected her if she-

Oh.

Oh?

um...

WaitwhywouldPhilplayalongwhatthehellwasthatsporkthinking

In that moment Dan got his feelings back from the void he stached them in while keeping up a calm facade, and it felt like a surge or a wave that flowed through his whole body, rattling his bones. He had to suck in a deep breath to keep himself upright, and he leaned against the cart’s handle just for extra support, all the while Melinda eyed him with a very suspicious, all-knowing look on her face.

“Da.. Papa..” she said after a few seconds, and that smooth Phil-esque smirk of hers crept into view, and Dan could barely breathe as she tugged on a crease on his Philion shirt, her other chubby fingers pointing in a direction he could not bare to look in.

Still he had to, because her puppy eyes were growing bigger and honeygold and sadly bright, and he could not stand seeing her so vulnerable.

Pushing out a defeated sigh, which made Melinda smile properly again, he rose quietly from the cart and lifted his gaze with as much strength as he could muster. For whatever reason the few seconds felt like forever, and when his eyes finally went all the way up that annoyingly form-fitting button up, they were met with a pair of scared, terrified striking blue eyes that matched its colour, only a meter away from him.

Phil clearly tried his best to give him a half-smile of some kind, but it came out as a grimace, and immediately faltered.

“Let’s, uh, go home?” he heard him whisper. He watched quietly as Phil let Mel wrap a single hand around his finger, once she’d let go of Dan’s shirt and he’d dropped his shopping into the cart. His other hand ruffled her hair tenderly.

“Home.” Dan’s throat constricted uncomfortably, as if it was both trying to choke him and stop him from crying, or stopping something worse, like bellowing all of his feelings. “Yeah. And we’ll have to talk.” The flinch from Phil at the last word felt like a punch to the gut for him.

Life had to suck on such a previously good day, didn’t it!?

He wished it’d go better once he got some answers for whatever had happened throughout it. And maybe, just maybe, he could share some truths of his own with Phil. Ones he should’ve shared 12 years ago on that ride on the Manchester Eye.

-

And we’ll have to talk.

Phil couldn’t bear to look Dan in the eye as they walked, holding Melinda’s hands together, swinging her side to side. His words echoed, bouncing from one side of his skull to the other, and dug a deep, deep pit into the darkness of his blackening heart. It hurt more, like a bomb compared to a twisting knife, than the ache he had felt before at being reminded of his unrequited feelings, or potential partners of Dan’s. Whatever he was going to be told during their talk, it was going to suck, and his whole life would fall into shambles, and he’d have to stop being Dan’s best friend and have to give Mel away: he’d be too heartbroken to even try to live properly.

Fuck. He really wasn’t being optimistic about his chances, was he.

He tried to laugh along as Dan joked with his child, but as soon as the sound left his mouth, sounding faker than it ever had, he felt like a sickness was replacing it, like bile rose up his throat. It burned and he cursed it under his breath, because it truly did embody how absolutely horrible he felt. This was his fault anyways, wasn’t it! If Dan wanted to disassociate it was entirely Phil’s fault for having these feelings and letting them get the best of him, not Dan’s for having to deal with the repercussions.

The gravel flew across the ground as they went up the walkway to the apartment building, and he let go of Mel’s hand for just a second, letting Dan pull her towards the door. While fishing for his keys he let his eyes wander over and watch his back. Unfortunately it only made his heart heavier and emptier, and sparked immediate guilt for ogling Dan’s backside when he probably didn’t want Phil to do that.

Fuck, he was screwed, wasn’t he, and this was his ultimate downfall.

Numb and cold, Phil’s hands fiddled with the keyring without getting a grip on the metal, until they practically flew out of them. It took some effort to realise, and even more to bend down in order to get them. He was uncertain if all the shaking his body was doing (he was practically convulsing) was because of the sobs that threatened to wretch themselves from him, or if he was simply shivering in the cold.

It was probably both, if he really thought about it. Thing was, he couldn’t think properly, since his head felt like it was going to explode with all the horrid emotions and scenarios, and the convulsions weren’t exactly helping. Now his eyes were even watering.

Phil blinked the tears away before they could fall, only to be met with brown tufts of hair only inches from his face.

Startling, he jumped up and away, his tears welling up again. Then Dan stood too, the keys dangling from his dominant hand as he held the one for the apartment complex’s entrance. He had a cheap smile on his face, and Phil was certain it couldn’t be genuine. Any moment now he’d drop his typical Dan-appearance and personality, and burst out laughing at him and his stupid stupid feelings and actions.

Instead Dan’s face fell at the sight of his building tears, but to him that was equally as bad, if not worse. All it meant was that Dan had become so disgusted whenever he saw Phil’s face, after finding out he liked him, that he couldn’t even keep up a charade in front of him!

He’d want nothing to do with him, if he’d have reactions like that each time he saw his ex-best friend. It had also been orchestrated by the universe, as clearly exhibited throughout the years, that Daniel was a much better father to Melinda than he was, and if Phil evidently was going to be too heartbroken to continue, Dan’d have to take over properly.

He would lose both his best friend, the two people he loved the most in the world, his daughter, maybe even his youtube and writing caree-

“Hey.”

Phil’s head jerked.

It wasn’t quite so easy to get rid of the whirlwinds of wetness in his eyes this time, but it didn’t matter. A warm hand reached up and swiped them away, which he recognized was clad in Dan’s tan. It tingled as expected when they touched skin to skin, but this time it brought him even more tears. Dammit! The world wasn’t going to let him get away so easily, now was it!

“You alright?”

Like his touch, Dan’s voice was too soft and tender for Phil’s weak heart to handle, causing multiple contradicting chemical reactions to set off in his head. Now he’d describe it as fight or flight response, but then he had no clue what it meant or how to act. He simply tried to ignore the way his stomach fluttered, and stepped away.

“I- I’ll go open the door for us!” Phil hiccuped, leaning further away from Dan’s stony face. He didn’t bother to stop walking towards the entrance even when he heard Dan’s desperate tone call out for him, nor when he felt the tips of his cold, long fingers graze his wrist.

In the corner of his vision he saw Melinda eyeing them both wistfully. She had always been clever for her age, and Phil was very proud to call himself the father of such a clever girl. Though this time he simply could not bear to meet her all-knowing gaze, and forced a smile simply for her entertainment, pushing down the knot in his throat.

He knew it wouldn’t work, and yet he decided to break both his own and his little one’s heart.

Opening the door, which was surely to be the one to his doom, he took one final shaky breath and looked back. Dan was walking towards him, carrying Melinda on his arm. He looked shaken, but clearly trying to hide it well with a tense face and quivering lip, and she was crying. Bawling crystals and leaking waterfalls. Phil swore under his breath once more, trying to force away the tingles and thoughts that formed, as he watched Dan wipe away the tears her father should be. Could it be too late to go back and restore the ruins that would be his shattered heart?

-

Dan watched with silent grumbling as the coffee swirled around the mug, the one assigned to him. He’d offered to make them something before food since Phil seemed too jumpy and jittery in his every action, and he also felt like it was only right if the father of the child set her to bed. He had not failed to notice Phil’s falling face when he comforted Mel, and he only wished Phil actually knew how good of a dad he was. It seemed he was more insecure about it than he had ever let on, and the two of them told each other everything.

Well, almost.

He would now, at least, and one big part of his brain wished greatly that Phil would have something similar to say. After all, it seemed like he had been willing to pretend he was married to Dan, and that they had a child together. Ulterior motives were not out of the question, of course, but the most logical options were always front and center in his logical brain.

Quiet, apprehensive footsteps approaching drew Dan back to reality. Pulling a smile just in the nick of time, he watched as Phil entered his kitchen, gaze fixated on the floor with burning intent.

He hoped he had that same burning intent within as displayed in Phil’s scared gaze, but he could truthfully say he was scared shitless, even more so than he’d ever say out loud. He took a deep breath, and a sip of the coffee, and by the time Phil had wrapped his bony fingers around his own mug, Dan could truthfully say he’d gathered as much courage as he had within. He didn’t feel particularly brave.

“So.. I wanted to ask you something.” Dan said, voice harsher than intended. Phil whiplashed, but didn’t move away, and fortunately none of his beverage spilled. After a few second of the most uncomfortable silence ever heard of between them, he broke it, like splitting the thick air with the blade of a knife.

“Uh, so there were some things that Lou- Laur- Lorraine! said in the store earlier, um, today and I co-”

“I’m sorry, Daniel.”

Dan blinked.

Phil never called him that, and his voice had never sounded so tone deaf, so cold, so estranged.

“No, Phil I assure you, you have nothing to-”

“I’m terribly sorry that I let my feelings get the best of me, and if you’d like I could certainly call Lorraine right now and explain everything. I’ll do whatever you want with that, actually, since it’s you who it affects, after all.” Phil said, a crispy tone dancing with his lilt across his pink lips. He barely had a chance to comprehend what had been said before that same voice spoke again.

“And Mel. It also affects her. No matter how much I’ve always wanted the two of us to parent her together, I came to my senses today and realised you’re a better dad. It’ll surely be an easy transition for the both of you. She already calls you Da, even if that was originally a fault of mine.” Phil paused to breathe in, shakily. “Blame- blame me for that one. Oh, we can stop being best friends, or even friends at all... I’ll unfollow on social media if I make you that uncomfortable. I can delete all our collabs and videos, the gaming channel-”

It didn’t seem to matter however many times he had sat in the darkness of his different bedrooms and imagined what kissing Phil was like. Dan couldn't have predicted how sugary Phil's plump lips turned out to be when he seized them for the first time.

Pressing his lips together with his own had seemed like the only rational and possible way to shut him up at the time, and now when Phil’s glasses had fallen down his nose, their fingers were desperately tangled in each other’s hair, and they were pressed up against the breakfast bar... furiously making out seemed to be the only rational and possible way to shout their harbored feelings into the void.

I let my feelings get the best of me

I’ve always wanted the two of us to parent her together

She already calls you Da, even if that was originally a fault of mine

Fucking hell, it felt good to know now that Phil felt those things as deeply as he did. That he was so not opposed to having Dan in his life that- in his own kitchen -he’d kiss him like this, touch him like this, be with him like this, in the ways he’d always imagined they could be.

As long as it wasn’t a dream, and Phil stayed by his side once he opened his eyes, he’d be fine.

Dan groaned as his vision went black, Phil’s hands straining him with pleasure by being just about everywhere they could on his tepid skin, and after what felt like minutes of emptiness, minutes and minutes, he was brought back to his senses and realised that they were no longer touching.

Then he groaned in longing instead, and only a faint, distant and small, breathless chuckle from Phil could make him pry away his heavy lids from his watering eyeballs.

“That wasn’t really, uh, talking?” Phil laughed breathlessly. A redness snaked itself up his neck from his exposed chest, contrasting with the blues in the unbuttoned button up. His chest hair was long, tangled, and dark. It did something to Dan’s breathing and heated the pit of his stomach, seeing the way it twisted around itself after having twisted in his own fingers.

“You can’t say anything! Clearly, both of us had to get years of emotion out of our systems.” he shot back, but a smile lit up his face, and he was sure he was blushing even more than Phil. “How long?”

“I’ve held that in for 12 years-”

“15.”

“What?”

“15 years.” Dan repeated. “I’ve liked you for 15 years.”

“I didn’t know you then, dingus!”

“Just thought I’d say so.”

Phil leaned thoughtfully on his arm. His eyes glistened like they typically did when he was too deep in his brain to be pulled out of it, so he used the silence and his averted gaze to stare him down some more, admiring the freckles he’d never thought he’d be able to see up close. They speckled Phil’s stomach, spread across his pale skin, an inverted starry night sky. He let his hand lightly graze across them, and instead of twitching away, Phil shivered gently under his touch. That brought a smirk to his face, that one, even if he predicted it.

“It was pretty obvious, y’know.” he finally said. That peeked Dan’s interest, but not for long- - “Really thought you were gonna kiss me after I bit your arm in starbucks, or when we went up on the wheel…”

Groaning in frustration and embarrassment, he instinctively buried his face in the crook of Phil’s neck. “I know! I wanted to, so much, but I chickened out at the last second. As you can see.” He gestured wildly around him, and then giggled wetly against Phil’s skin, when a pretty, golden sound trickled from his mouth.

“You have me now.”

“You’d actually want to, uh, be my boyfriend?”

Phil giggled. “If that wasn’t clear enough already, I thought you’d never ask, Lester.”

Dan froze, and lifted his head with apprehension. A gaze full of it met him, and Phil visibly trembled, physically and mentally.

“I- sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“I’d very much like being a Lester. Your lester.” he declared, and the tone seemed to settle it, for relief flooded his flushed features. “But only because of your mum’s excellent baking, which I’ll remind you, you haven’t inherited.”

Shouting about their go-to joke of ‘babuse’, Phil slapped his arm in jest, starting an outright war which switched between consisting of playful smackdowns or compliment-fights. It was natural, as much as it felt that way, and the only difference to before was that they both knew and purposefully romanticized it.

Their playfighting continued until small bouts of sniffling came within earshot, and a small pair of feet stumbled in following them. As Melinda entered Phil pulled away from Dan and wrapped his upper body as decently as possible, earning himself a wink, blushing furiously through the short while the action lasted. He scooped his- theirs, he reminded himself -daughter up, and her tears immediately stained his shoulder.

While Phil rocked Mel around, trying to calm her and get even a single word out displaying her troubling, Dan reached a gentle hand in and wiped as many tears away as he could, before letting it rest in her curls. He moved his thumb in circles on her scalp, affectionately and soothingly.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Phil whispered quietly.

-

“Mel, can you please tell papa what’s wrong?” Phil repeated, the words heavy on his tongue, rocking Melinda in his arms, resting her head gently on his bosom. She sighed and shuddered, still crying softly onto his bare chest, but calming down as time went on. Gazing upon them with empathetic, wide eyes was Dan, who every once in a while lent him a helping hand.

After sniffling up her snot, the dainty toddler perked her head up above his collar. “Papa…” she croaked, and Dan moved one hand up to wipe the snot off her cupids bow. His hand was hot as it grazed Phil’s chest on the way, and tingles spread in circles from where it did.

Before Mel continued, she sniffled again, and he placed a gentle peck and breathed encouragement against her hair. “Papa, I don’ want you and Da to fight n’more…”

Phil’s head swung around, meeting the deep, chocolate eyes of his new- and as always perfect -boyfriend. He looked just as sad upon the revelation proposed by their child, as he had imagined, and yet a small smile played on his lips. It seemed he had gotten the memo as well. Melinda had assumed her two fathers had been fighting! Probably based on their coldness and distance on their way home, leading to the initial beginning of an argument displayed while she was meant to be asleep, and then their roughhousing (of which there were different kinds).

A lax and soft expression merged with Dan’s previous empathetic one. The sight melted Phil’s heart a bit more, if that was possible. With a swoop of his hands and some magic, Dan had Melinda in his arms, leaving Phil with hands free enough to button up his shirt.

“Mel, I can promise you, Papa and I won’t fight no more.” Dan said, and Phil nodded enthusiastically when she glanced over at him for confirmation. “And really, we weren’t even fighting yet. Not properly.”

“No?”

“I was just a bit sad, and confused, Mel. Da did nothing wrong.” Phil interjected, brushing her curls out of her face. Smiling a sad but also reassuring smile up at him, she cradled his hand in hers within a second, and squeezed his love for her at the same time.

“And if we ever will, you’ll be here to stop it, won’t you, Darling!”

With a new bout of tickles delivered to her defenseless stomach, all three of them erupted into joyful laughter, silencing the tears and dampening the sorrows of the past.

Gosh, Phil thought as his eyes crinkled, reminiscing over the musky smell of Dan and the prickly taste of his mouth, while watching him bant with their daughter. We really are the perfect family.

And once more the small voice in his head repeated: Domestic!

He didn’t push it away. He needed its light. He loved its light, and what it suggested.

-

Epilogue

Heartstrings shared between the three of them played like violins, a stable symphony in the major scale, clearly displaying their love for one another.

Dan took a stable breath, sucking in the familiar, aromatic fragrances of the master bedroom. His long, tan legs were tangled together with his husband’s pale ones, though they were clad in ridiculous emoji-pajamas, and next to them laid Mel, almost falling off the edge of the bed. That was the problem with having two giants and their fourteen-year-old daughter cuddling up in the same bed. Nobody fit.

The other two had fallen asleep while they watched a movie, and then Dan had covered them in three separate blankets, half-asleep himself. During the night he drifted off to sleep and got tangled up with his lover’s limbs.

His head had taken over control of every thought, but not in a bad way. Instead of his usual train of thought leading back to Mel’s youth, or his history, it now danced back 48 hours, in a way it had not been able to during his and Phil’s proper honeymoon night.

He thought back to the song he had produced for and sang, accompanying himself on piano, to Phil just before the official ceremony. The whole family and their present relatives had cried so many tears that Phil joked they could fill a second Atlantic Ocean with them, and he loved that stupid joke as much as he loved the man that said it. His husband.

It was wild hearing that word now.

Watching the light dance across the covers, and the bodies of his two favourite people in the world, he replayed Phil’s undying, heart-melting grin in his head. Under his breath, he sang the text to himself:

He says I never stopped smelling so warm musky and nice

and I think he never stopped having such pretty blue eyes

Oh

He tells me so often he loves when I play the piano, so well

and I think I haven’t told him enough that I love when he sings along, as well

Oh

His voice can be both high and deep and husky and soft

but when it’s as natural as the moon and the sun

yes that is when I love it the most

Oh

Oh darling

Darling I love being held by your beautiful arms, they’re strong and secure for me

Darling I want you to never let me go, and I say that with utmost sincerity

For darling

I love you so

Oh darling

I love you so

His dear mother calls him the most charming lad in this nation

but I’d rather call him the most charming lad with the wildest imagination

Oh

Sure sometimes I make fun of his milky white skin or his lack of direction

But it’s all in good fun, and I know he knows for he does the same to me, hun

Oh

He’ll poke at the curls in my hair and pinch at my tummy, too

but I think you should all know that he’s a second away

from kissing it all black and blue

Oh

Oh darling

Darling you wear way too much plaid but you are my one and only man

Darling I love you to bits, and now you’re here to marry your absolute biggest fan

For darling

I love you so

Oh darling

I love you so

Getting married and moving into life, it gets serious now!

everybody has said, Daniel you better watch out!

Oh

But I don’t really care because Phil and I

we’ve been smitten and committed since the first time we talked, aye

Oh

He says we’re beacons of hope

but he knows and I know

we love each other the most

Oh

Oh darling

Darling when we’ve walked down the aisle I’ll never leave you alone

Darling we’ll be clasping our hands together through another hundred years, and more

For darling

I love you so

Oh darling

I love you so

And I know you will always believe when I say so

Darling

Because as Melinda, our daughter, has seen and will still as she grows

Darling

Is it’s the truth we can shout to the world,

one which it already knows

Oh darling

I’ll love you ‘til the end of time

Oh darling

I’m sure it’ll be a wild ride, but I’ll love it all the same

since you’re with me

For darling

Darling that’s what soulmates do

And in this moment, while Phil stirred in his arms and their daughter slept on soundly next to him, Daniel Lester could truthfully say he had never been happier.