#gruesome twosome is so perfect i love it

[thebrideofreanimator]

ok arsenic and old lace fans idk if this is well known bc i’m still kinda new here but i haven’t seen anyone talk about it anyways i found this cool pressbook for the movie on internet archive today from 1944

this is a link to it lol (works better on a computer)

and here’s some highlights from it:

cool behind the scenes stories !!

jonathan with some emo ass hair going on. 😭💀

AND

GRUESOME TWOSOME !!!!!

[thatyamiguy-blog]

Baby on board (Harry Potter)

Hogwarts was a school with more then a few secrets, but there was two that would of shocked everyone at the school save for maybe Dumbledore. Bombshell number one: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were actually dating and were a very close couple that spent every second together they could while also playing up that they hated each other so Draco wouldn't get in shit with his parents because Harry wasn't exactly Draco's father's favorite person in the world. Bombshell number two: Draco was a full blown goo goo gaga super duper nappy pooper little, and they had hooked up in year two when Harry had caught him playing in his nappies.  with harry being a daddy dom everything had clicked and the two loved to go around Hogwarts at night, with Draco in his diapers and them under his invisibly cloak and seeing how close they could get to getting caught, with Draco's smelly butt getting more then a few unfortunate souls blamed for SBD's.

Still as daring as the pair was, they had never before done what they were doing this year, which was going for Draco to be nappied at all times. They would of course be using a series of charms to hide the smells and shrink the bulk of the nappies while not compromising them. This meant getting the blond big baby nappied as soon as possible which meant Harry giving a half ass excuse to ditch Hermione and Ron as soon as possible once on the train to Hogwarts. "I just wanna walk around by myself for a bit. The Dursleys have been trying to suck up to me since I'm leaving soon and figuring out how famous I am." Harry lied. "Bloody hell, I didn't see any pigs flying!" Ron commented, having a hard time believing it. "Well if you need some time alone.." Hermione said and sighed, but then locked eyes with Ron and winked. "Heh, and thats the other thing, I thought you two might want some together time." Harry chuckled and walked out of the car.

Draco meanwhile had a easier time of getting his car cleared as he just had to tell Crab and Goyle to piss off, he wanted to be alone and since he'd been getting more and more distant as of late it wasn't that out of character. scarcely had the gruesome twosome  left then the door the the car opened back up though it would appear as no one was there, at least till it closed and Harry took his cloak off. "Hey ba-" was as far as Harry got before Draco tackle hugged him to the ground, with a cry of 'DADDY!' and showering him in kisses. "..I guess that answers whether or not you missed me." Harry chuckled, flat on his back. he was much stronger then Draco and could of easily pushed the little guy off but instead decided to roll with it, only saying. "But just so you know, I can't put the cute butt of yours back in nappies where it belong if you keep me pinned down to the floor." "Your the boy who lived, I'm sure you could come up with something." Draco giggled, and licked the bridge of Harry's nose before scooting off of him. "Give me time and I might, but for now I do believe that we have other matters to attend to.. you were able to sneak the supplies on board?" Harry asked, wiping his nose dry and getting off the floor. while Harry was well known, he didn't have the clout to get a trunk or suitcase brought into a passenger car, though Draco did. "Pffft, you think I was gonna let a silly thing like the rules stop me?" Draco asked, giving a perfect brat prince smile, then he moved over to by the window and reached down, coming up with his own clock and revealing his suitcase/diaper bag. "it's not as good as yours, but it gets the job done." Draco added, tossing the cloak to Harry. "true enough. now just to be clear, I'll go over the rules about this one more time." Harry said, in a tone that made it clear that Draco could expect to hear them at least once a week. "First of all, there will be NO using the loo, for tinkles or BM's." Harry said. "Threaten me with a good time." Draco giggled, getting giddy. Secondly, You'll get a nappy change when I can mange it and/or if I think you deserve one. so if your too much a bully you can expect to spend extra time in squishy nappies." Harry said, trying to keep his stern daddy face on but damn it, Draco wasn't making it easy. "Oh, the horror~" Draco giggled and was already getting his belt off. "You say that now..keep in mind the longest you've been a stink butt was 2 hours." Harry chuckled and winked, then went on. "Thirdly, You'll be given a maintenance spanking at least once a week to make sure you know what to expect if you REALLY act, You know I'm not scared to paddle that cute butt." "You know..I've gone a wholllle summer without a spanking, I might need one to put me in place before you pad me up." Draco said, faking a thoughtful expression. "..We'll see. Fourthly, The only messes you're allowed to make in your nappies on your own are BM's and tinkles. Big boy messes will be allowed at MY discretion and trust me, you'll have to earn them." Harry said smirking. "W-wait that wasn't in the original deal!" Draco said, looking unsure for the first time. "I have altered the deal, pray I do not alter it more." Harry chuckled in his best Darth Vader voice.. a reference that was lost on Draco as the blond baby looked lost. "..Remind me to get you in front of a telly at some point and have a movie marathon." "If you say so..." Draco said, shrugging it off. "Finally, if you wanna stop and go back to just doing playtime when we get a chance, I'll understand. this is a big step and not everyone is cut out for 24/7. I won't be disappointed and they'll be nothing to be ashamed about." Harry finished. "Puh-lease daddy.. if anyone is gonna be crying for this to stop, it'll be you with all the presents I plan on making." Draco chuckled, and dropped his pants and turned around, showing his bare bottom and show that not only was the cheeky little guy going commando, but he'd been working on his tan as his normally pale butt matched the rest of him. "Now about that spanking?" "Heh.. Maybe later. who knows how long we'll have to ourselves and you DO wanna be a nappied little brat when we arrive right?" Harry said, though since he was only mortal, he HAD to slap that cute bubble butt. "-sigh-, the sacrifices I make for the greater good!" Draco said, as if not getting a over the knee spanking was akin to giving up a limb. "And the forced of good and justice thank you for them." Harry said rolling his eyes and getting out the changing mat.

Blue balled and frustrated after having their snogging session broke up by a wandering staff member, Ron and Hermione decided to go and hunt down Harry or failing at that, find a quiet place to get back to smooching. Seeing Crab and Goyle out and about instead of hanging out with Draco was strange to the pair as the three were almost always seen together as fair as Ron and Hermione knew, and fearing that maybe Draco was doing something awful to Harry they made they're way towards the blond brat prince of Slytherin's car. It wasn't exactly easy going as a few of Draco's underlings (it was hard to think of the git having friends, at least for Ron) they made it and dashed into Draco's personal car, facing the door and using they're wands to lock it, and heard the shocked gasps of Draco and Harry. they also noticed the confused and then laughing faces of the slythrin's who could see though the window to the private room, normally shaded but the locking spell used by Hermione had canceled out the privacy spell. Turning around they say what had the others amused, a red face Harry and Draco, with Harry in the middle of sprinkling baby powder onto Draco's crotch, and the blond laying on a thick stack of cloth nappies with a pair of plastic pants nearby. "I..Uh..What?" Ron asked, trying to process all of it. "O-Oh dear." Hermione said, turning and covering her eyes. "So uh.. I guess you guys have a few questions." Harry said sheepishly, and tilted the contained of baby powder up, almost a quarter of it had coated Draco's crotch due to the shock of being found. "I..uh.. Yeah. more then a few." Ron said, then broke into a big stupid grin. "But you better finish nappying the baby." it was at that point Draco's brain shut down, going into derp mode, his last thought till they'd get to Hogwarts being 'well, this is going to be a interesting school year.'

The end

[yamithediaperdork]

Baby on board (Harry Potter)

Hogwarts was a school with more then a few secrets, but there was two that would of shocked everyone at the school save for maybe Dumbledore.

Bombshell number one: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were actually dating and were a very close couple that spent every second together they could while also playing up that they hated each other so Draco wouldn't get in shit with his parents because Harry wasn't exactly Draco's father's favorite person in the world.

Bombshell number two: Draco was a full blown goo goo gaga super duper nappy pooper little, and they had hooked up in year two when Harry had caught him playing in his nappies. with harry being a daddy dom everything had clicked and the two loved to go around Hogwarts at night, with Draco in his diapers and them under his invisibly cloak and seeing how close they could get to getting caught, with Draco's smelly butt getting more then a few unfortunate souls blamed for SBD's.

Still as daring as the pair was, they had never before done what they were doing this year, which was going for Draco to be nappied at all times. They would of course be using a series of charms to hide the smells and shrink the bulk of the nappies while not compromising them.

This meant getting the blond big baby nappied as soon as possible which meant Harry giving a half ass excuse to ditch Hermione and Ron as soon as possible once on the train to Hogwarts.

"I just wanna walk around by myself for a bit. The Dursleys have been trying to suck up to me since I'm leaving soon and figuring out how famous I am." Harry lied.

"Bloody hell, I didn't see any pigs flying!" Ron commented, having a hard time believing it.

"Well if you need some time alone.." Hermione said and sighed, but then locked eyes with Ron and winked.

"Heh, and thats the other thing, I thought you two might want some together time." Harry chuckled and walked out of the car.

Draco meanwhile had a easier time of getting his car cleared as he just had to tell Crab and Goyle to piss off, he wanted to be alone and since he'd been getting more and more distant as of late it wasn't that out of character.

scarcely had the gruesome twosome left then the door the the car opened back up though it would appear as no one was there, at least till it closed and Harry took his cloak off.

"Hey ba-" was as far as Harry got before Draco tackle hugged him to the ground, with a cry of 'DADDY!' and showering him in kisses.

"..I guess that answers whether or not you missed me." Harry chuckled, flat on his back. he was much stronger then Draco and could of easily pushed the little guy off but instead decided to roll with it, only saying. "But just so you know, I can't put the cute butt of yours back in nappies where it belong if you keep me pinned down to the floor."

"Your the boy who lived, I'm sure you could come up with something." Draco giggled, and licked the bridge of Harry's nose before scooting off of him.

"Give me time and I might, but for now I do believe that we have other matters to attend to.. you were able to sneak the supplies on board?" Harry asked, wiping his nose dry and getting off the floor.

while Harry was well known, he didn't have the clout to get a trunk or suitcase brought into a passenger car, though Draco did.

"Pffft, you think I was gonna let a silly thing like the rules stop me?" Draco asked, giving a perfect brat prince smile, then he moved over to by the window and reached down, coming up with his own clock and revealing his suitcase/diaper bag.

"it's not as good as yours, but it gets the job done." Draco added, tossing the cloak to Harry.

"true enough. now just to be clear, I'll go over the rules about this one more time." Harry said, in a tone that made it clear that Draco could expect to hear them at least once a week.

"First of all, there will be NO using the loo, for tinkles or BM's." Harry said.

"Threaten me with a good time." Draco giggled, getting giddy.

Secondly, You'll get a nappy change when I can mange it and/or if I think you deserve one. so if your too much a bully you can expect to spend extra time in squishy nappies." Harry said, trying to keep his stern daddy face on but damn it, Draco wasn't making it easy.

"Oh, the horror~" Draco giggled and was already getting his belt off.

"You say that now..keep in mind the longest you've been a stink butt was 2 hours." Harry chuckled and winked, then went on. "Thirdly, You'll be given a maintenance spanking at least once a week to make sure you know what to expect if you REALLY act, You know I'm not scared to paddle that cute butt."

"You know..I've gone a wholllle summer without a spanking, I might need one to put me in place before you pad me up." Draco said, faking a thoughtful expression.

"..We'll see. Fourthly, The only messes you're allowed to make in your nappies on your own are BM's and tinkles. Big boy messes will be allowed at MY discretion and trust me, you'll have to earn them." Harry said smirking.

"W-wait that wasn't in the original deal!" Draco said, looking unsure for the first time.

"I have altered the deal, pray I do not alter it more." Harry chuckled in his best Darth Vader voice.. a reference that was lost on Draco as the blond baby looked lost. "..Remind me to get you in front of a telly at some point and have a movie marathon."

"If you say so..." Draco said, shrugging it off.

"Finally, if you wanna stop and go back to just doing playtime when we get a chance, I'll understand. this is a big step and not everyone is cut out for 24/7. I won't be disappointed and they'll be nothing to be ashamed about." Harry finished.

"Puh-lease daddy.. if anyone is gonna be crying for this to stop, it'll be you with all the presents I plan on making." Draco chuckled, and dropped his pants and turned around, showing his bare bottom and show that not only was the cheeky little guy going commando, but he'd been working on his tan as his normally pale butt matched the rest of him. "Now about that spanking?"

"Heh.. Maybe later. who knows how long we'll have to ourselves and you DO wanna be a nappied little brat when we arrive right?" Harry said, though since he was only mortal, he HAD to slap that cute bubble butt.

"-sigh-, the sacrifices I make for the greater good!" Draco said, as if not getting a over the knee spanking was akin to giving up a limb.

"And the forced of good and justice thank you for them." Harry said rolling his eyes and getting out the changing mat.

Blue balled and frustrated after having their snogging session broke up by a wandering staff member, Ron and Hermione decided to go and hunt down Harry or failing at that, find a quiet place to get back to smooching.

Seeing Crab and Goyle out and about instead of hanging out with Draco was strange to the pair as the three were almost always seen together as fair as Ron and Hermione knew, and fearing that maybe Draco was doing something awful to Harry they made they're way towards the blond brat prince of Slytherin's car.

It wasn't exactly easy going as a few of Draco's underlings (it was hard to think of the git having friends, at least for Ron) they made it and dashed into Draco's personal car, facing the door and using they're wands to lock it, and heard the shocked gasps of Draco and Harry. they also noticed the confused and then laughing faces of the slythrin's who could see though the window to the private room, normally shaded but the locking spell used by Hermione had canceled out the privacy spell.

Turning around they say what had the others amused, a red face Harry and Draco, with Harry in the middle of sprinkling baby powder onto Draco's crotch, and the blond laying on a thick stack of cloth nappies with a pair of plastic pants nearby.

"I..Uh..What?" Ron asked, trying to process all of it.

"O-Oh dear." Hermione said, turning and covering her eyes.

"So uh.. I guess you guys have a few questions." Harry said sheepishly, and tilted the contained of baby powder up, almost a quarter of it had coated Draco's crotch due to the shock of being found.

"I..uh.. Yeah. more then a few." Ron said, then broke into a big stupid grin. "But you better finish nappying the baby."

it was at that point Draco's brain shut down, going into derp mode, his last thought till they'd get to Hogwarts being

'well, this is going to be a interesting school year.'

The end

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Frankenstein: The Story

Before Frankenstein even starts, the movie wants you to know that it isn’t messing around.  This isn’t a horror-comedy, or a mildly spooky drama.  This is a horror story, make no mistake.

The film opens up in a rather unconventional way.  Edward Van Sloan, who plays Dr. Waldman in the film, appears from behind a curtain in order to directly address the audience:

“How do you do? Mr. Carl Laemmle feels it would be a little unkind to present this picture without just a word of friendly warning. We’re about to unfold the story of Frankenstein, a man of science who sought to create a man after his own image without reckoning upon God. It is one of the strangest tales ever told. It deals with the two great mysteries of creation: life and death. I think it will thrill you. It may shock you. It might even horrify you. So if any of you feel that you do not care to subject your nerves to such a strain, now is your chance to, uh… Well, we’ve warned you.”

After this genial warning, Mr. Van Sloan steps back behind the curtain, and the music starts over the credits.  (This is the only time music will play during the film.)

The film opens proper this time, appropriately enough, in a graveyard.

The scene is a funeral, a sad occasion over which church bells are heard ringing.  Fittingly enough, the story of Frankenstein already is focused on death, and so is our possible main character.

Enter Dr. Henry Frankenstein. (Colin Clive) (Spoilers below)

Frankenstein waits outside the graveyard, alongside his hunchback assistant, Fritz (Dwight Frye), for the mourners to leave, and for the gravedigger to finish up.  As soon as the cemetery is deserted, the gruesome twosome move in, using their own tools to dig up the grave again, removing the coffin.  As they do, Frankenstein manically murmurs this:

“He’s just resting. Waiting for a new life to come.”

With that, the pair put the coffin on a wheelbarrow, and head off.  They stop at a gallows, where Frankenstein tells Fritz to clamber up and cut the body down.  Reluctantly, Fritz obeys.  The doctor examines the body, before proclaiming it useless.

“The neck’s broken. The brain is useless. We must find another brain.”

He’s 2 for 2 on the ominous foreshadowing, despite the fact that that’s not how neuroscience works.

Fritz, in a quest to find another brain, hides outside a medical college, where he listens to Dr. Waldman (Edward Van Sloan) teaching a seminar about brains.  He has two specimens: one, a perfect example of a model brain, and the other, the brain of a criminal.

After class is dismissed, Fritz sneaks into the classroom, intending to steal the well-adjusted brain.  At first, it looks like success, but a loud noise startles him, and he drops it.  Panicked, Fritz grabs the brain labeled: ‘Abnormal Brain’ and takes off.

Meanwhile, we are introduced to a few new characters: Elizabeth (Mae Clark), Henry’s fiancee, and Victor (John Boles), friend of Henry and Elizabeth.  Elizabeth has just received word from Henry for the first time in four months.  She reads the letter out loud to Victor, who explains that he is in the middle of an amazing discovery, and is working on his experiments in hiding in an abandoned watchtower, where they can remain secret.  

Elizabeth explains that she sent for Victor because she is worried about Henry, saying that he’s talking as though he’s crazy.  She also says that she’s heard him talk about these experiments before, and that when they were first engaged, Henry was happy to tell her about them, but now acts as though everything is a great mystery.  

Victor agrees that Henry’s acting strangely.  He tells Elizabeth that the last time he ran into Henry and asked to see the lab, Henry got very defensive.

So far, the movie really isn’t selling the audience on Henry.  Not many good traits for this guy if we’re being honest.

At this moment, Victor tells Elizabeth that he is in love with her, which doesn’t help the situation at all.  This is not the first time he has done this, but Elizabeth is already engaged to aforementioned mad-scientist.  

Victor also says that he will go track down Dr. Waldman (remember him?) who was Henry’s mentor, to see if he knows anything about Henry’s behavior.  Elizabeth runs after him, determined to go along, and the two set off.

The two arrive at Waldman’s office and begin discussing Henry and his odd behavior.  Waldman admits that Henry is brilliant, but he’s also erratic, possessing an “insane ambition to create life”.  Waldman also explains that Henry had wanted actual human corpses for his experiments

“You do not quite get what I mean. Herr Frankenstein was interested only in human life. First, to destroy it; then, recreate it. There you have his - mad dream.”

The university obviously wouldn’t allow the use of human corpses, and so Henry left, in order to pursue graverobbing for his experiments.  More worried than ever, Elizabeth convinces Waldman to accompany them to find Henry and bring him to his senses.

Henry, as it turns out, is inside his watchtower where a mighty storm is brewing.  It’s dark, there’s a thunder and lightning storm growing, and inside, Henry is busy about his laboratory, full of crackling electric gadgets and a table, on which lies a figure, with a cloth lying over it and bandages wrapped around its head, inside which is the brain that Fritz had stolen.

“The brain you stole, Fritz. Think of it. The brain of a dead man waiting to live again in a body I made with my own hands! With my own hands.”

As Henry prepares his experiment (powered by electricity, hence the storm), there is a knock at the door, interrupting him at his work.  Irritated, he sends Fritz down to send whoever is there away.  Upon realizing that Elizabeth is at the door, Henry changes his mind, and lets her, Victor, and Waldman in, albeit reluctantly.  He tries to persuade them to leave, but is stopped short when Victor accuses him of being crazy.

“Crazy, am I? We’ll see whether I’m crazy or not.”

Taking the accusation as a challenge, Henry brings his unexpected guests upstairs to the lab to witness his experiment.  He forces Victor and Elizabeth to sit, chases Waldman away from the hidden body, and describes his experiment.

In short, Henry has discovered a ray that is the foundation of life, and that he has created a body, stitched together from other corpses, super large, super strong.

Without further ado, Henry launches into the most famous scene of cinema history.  He starts up the equipment as the storm begins to rage, and the table holding Henry’s creation rises up the tower towards a skylight, where the thunder and lightning crash and flash.  Slowly, Henry brings the body back down, and the hand of his creation begins to move.

Say it with me:

“Look! It’s moving. It’s alive. It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!”

In his euphoria, Henry compares himself to God, and in shock and horror, the others restrain him.

Weirdly enough, at this point, the movie decides to put itself on hold.

After an emotional, tension filled high point, one of the most famous scenes in movie history, the film decides that, rather than show you Frankenstein’s creation, to take you instead to the home of Baron Frankenstein, Henry’s father, and a conversation with Elizabeth and Victor.

The movie has been moving at a pretty good clip up to this point, albeit with rather sparse ‘monster’ action.  We don’t see Frankenstein putting his creature together, we only see the before and after, and now we don’t even get to see the after.  The sequence interrupting the ‘good stuff’ seems to come in, interrupting a continuous flow.

Henry’s father is also worried about him (it seems to be a pattern), but refuses to believe Elizabeth’s claims that he’s just tired.  The Baron believes there’s something legitimately wrong with him, and that he’s involved with another woman.  At this point, the Baron isn’t sure if there’s even going to be a wedding between his son and Elizabeth, which is unfortunate, since the whole town is preparing for it.

The Baron makes a decision: he’s going to go visit Henry now, too.

See, as it turns out, Henry hasn’t left the watchtower.  He’s still with his experiment, and so is Waldman.

Waldman, for his part, isn’t in the slightest happy about Henry’s experiment.  He explains that the ‘monster’ is dangerous, but Henry isn’t buying it.

“Dangerous? Poor old Waldman. Have you never wanted to do anything that was dangerous? Where should we be if no one tried to find out what lies beyond? Have you never wanted to look beyond the clouds and the stars, or to know what causes the trees to bud? And what changes the darkness into light? But if you talk like that, people call you crazy. Well, if I could discover just one of these things, what eternity is, for example, I wouldn’t care if they did think I was crazy.”

Waldman explains that the brain that Henry used was a criminal brain.  Henry looks disconcerted for a moment, but brushes it off, ignoring Waldman’s pleas to stop experimenting.

“I’ve got to experiment further. He’s only a few days old, remember. So far he’s been kept in complete darkness. Wait till I bring him into the light.”

As he finishes speaking, heavy footsteps are heard in the hallway.  Henry shuts off the light, casting the dark room into further shadow, as a towering figure steps, backwards, through the doorway.  It turns, slowly, facing the camera, with a dead, blank expression.

You already know what he looks like.

Henry tells the creature (Boris Karloff) to come in and sit down.  The creature, although mute, seems to understand him, obeying as Henry rolls back the skylight.

The monster stands, looking up, and raises his hands to the sky, trying to touch the light.  The expression comes to life, full of curiosity-

And Henry closes the light again.

The monster halts, looking dejected, as Henry gleefully brags about his creation.

Right here, we as an audience have been told a lot of information about a lot of people.

There’s Elizabeth, the loving fiancee, Victor, the concerned friend, Waldman, the dismayed mentor, and Baron Frankenstein, blustering father, but when you boil it right down, the audience’s concern lies with two characters: Henry and the monster.

We know that Henry is a raging egomaniac, who is determined to make his mark on scientific discovery.  He is proud of what he has done, to the point of hysteria, and has become so absorbed with his work that he has neglected family, friends, and his fiancee, to the point where he has driven them all to worry about him.  He’s obsessed with his creation, with his apparent success.

And the creature?

As famous and magnificent as the laboratory scene is, the scene where the monster first sees the light is almost as well-known, and with good reason.  Arguably just as important, this sequence gives the audience some very important information about the creature: he is not inherently a ‘monster’.  His expression is not that of a vicious beast, but a curious child.  His backwards lumber into the room and straining to touch the light stirs an emotion out of the audience: not fear, but pity.

Hold onto that, we’ll be coming back to that shortly.

After the monster sits back down, Fritz comes tearing into the room with a lighted torch, brandishing it at the creature.  The creature, naturally frightened, goes into a bit of a frenzy, barely restrained by Henry and Waldman.  The two scientists tie him up, and Waldman, more resolute than ever in his stance that the creature is dangerous, tells Frankenstein that he must destroy the monster.

The two scientists move the creature to the cellar, where Fritz continues to torment him, beating him with a whip and antagonizing him with the torch.

Upstairs, Henry and Waldman hear a bloodcurdling shriek, and rush downstairs, where they discover the monster, free, and Fritz, strangled.

The pair manage to get out of the cellar and close the door behind them, but it won’t hold for long.  The monster’s superior strength comes to bear as he struggles to smash down the door.

Henry, horrified at his own creation, reluctantly agrees with Waldman’s assertion that the monster must be destroyed, and allows Waldman to go up for a needle for a hypodermic injection.  After Waldman returns, the pair open the door, and as the creature attacks Henry, Waldman injects the monster in the back with the needle.  After a tense moment, the drug takes effect, and the monster slumps to the ground, unconscious.

Waldman and Frankenstein hide the body of the creature as they hear a banging on the door: Victor, warning Henry that Elizabeth and Henry’s father are on the way, right behind him.  Henry goes upstairs to clean the blood off of him.

When Elizabeth and Baron Frankenstein do arrive, they find Henry, collapsed from exhaustion in his lab, muttering mournfully about Fritz.  They decide to take him home, and Waldman promises Henry that he will preserve Henry’s research, and destroy the monster.

While Henry is taken home and helped to recover, Waldman sets about dissecting the creature.  Before he can get started, the sedative wears off, and the creature wakes up.  Seeing the doctor bending over him with sharp tools, the creature strangles Waldman, gets up, and wanders out of the watchtower, now loose across the countryside.

The story takes a little bit of a skip now.  Henry is recovered, and it is the day of his wedding to Elizabeth.  His father, the Baron, hands Henry and Victor orange blossoms, family tradition for weddings, and toasts the wedding, remarking about his hope for a future son of Frankenstein.

An interesting comment.  More on that later.

Meanwhile, the creature’s wanderings have taken him to a forest, relatively close to civilization.  There, he stumbles upon a girl named Maria, who is playing by the side of a lake.

Instead of being frightened at his appearance, the girl approaches the creature and invites him to play with her, bringing him down by the water as well.  She gives him a flower, which he reacts to with a look of genuine happiness.

Maria offers up an interesting look at how people approach the creature.  Up until this moment, he has been contained, tortured, and treated as an experiment at best, and a monster at worst.  This is the first time that anyone has treated him as anything close to ‘human’, and it’s a touching moment.

Unfortunately, this is a horror film, and we have to take a sharp left turn into disaster.  Or at least, tragedy.

See, Maria teaches the creature a game where they toss flowers into the water, demonstrating how they float.  Once the creature runs out of flowers, he tosses Maria in, not really understanding why that’s not acceptable.  As it turns out, Maria can’t swim.

Her floundering in the water frightens the creature, and, clearly upset, he runs away.

The scene switches once more to wedding preparations.  Elizabeth, already in her wedding gown, asks to speak to Henry privately, as she’s feeling rather uneasy.  As a matter of fact, she’s downright afraid.  She explains to Henry that she’s not sure why she’s afraid, but she is concerned for Waldman, and asks why he’s late.  She adds that she’s very afraid of losing Henry, but he reassures her that he’s not going anywhere.

The touching moment is interrupted by Victor, banging on the door, shouting about Waldman.  He’s been found, dead, in the watchtower where Henry had been working.  Henry locks Elizabeth in a room and rushes out, knowing that the monster must be loose.  He and Victor begin searching the house for the creature, all the while thinking that at least Elizabeth is somewhat safe.

Elizabeth is pacing the room, very nervous.  I can’t blame her.

As she paces, the monster comes through the window of the house, stalking her down.  Elizabeth screams, and tries to escape, but of course, Henry locked the door in his most brilliant move since reanimating the dead.  The monster gets out the way he came in, and Henry bursts in to find Elizabeth unhurt, but hysterical.

Henry proclaims that he cannot get married until his creation is destroyed, and leaves Elizabeth in Victor’s care while he leaves to track down the monster.

“I made him with these hands, and with these hands I will destroy him. I must find him.”

Meanwhile, interrupting the wedding festivities outside, a grief-stricken father carries the body of his little girl, Maria, into the town.  The townspeople, now subdued, follow him as the father approaches the Burgomaster, proclaiming that his daughter has been murdered.  (This is perhaps the one plot hole that I have the hardest time getting around, as if she’d been drowned, there’s no way the father could have figured she’d have been murdered.)

Still, it’s enough to get the townspeople in a riot.

The Burgomaster organizes the mob, splitting it into three groups and putting Henry in charge of one.  The mob storms off, armed with torches and pitchforks (what else?).

Henry’s group spots the monster, and stumbles upon an injured man who points them in the direction of the creature.  

Naturally, Henry gets separated from the rest of the group while up on a mountain, and, of course, runs into his creation.

Frankenstein tries to scare the creature with his torch, but the monster is well past the fear of fire by now.  He lunges at Henry, they struggle, and the monster knocks him unconscious, dragging him away.  

The creature takes Henry into a windmill, pursued by the mob of angry villagers.  As the monster lugs Henry up to the second story, the search party tries to break the door down.

Henry wakes up, and narrowly escapes another attack by the creature, hiding behind mill machinery before entering another losing grappling match with the creature.  After a brief struggle, Henry falls from the mill, unconscious.

Some of the search party stop to take Henry home, as the rest light the mill on fire.

The monster remains trapped in the flaming building, under a fallen beam, terrified and alone.

With the monster presumed dead, Henry begins recovering again, under the care of Elizabeth at his home.  His father, the Baron Frankenstein, breaks out the old wine for the wedding and makes another toast: a toast to the son of Frankenstein.

Cue closing credits.

The story of Frankenstein is not a long one, clocking in at just over an hour and ten minutes.  On a rewatch, it can seem like there isn’t even that much of the monster.  Instead, we spend a lot of time with the creator of the creature, watching him prepare for his wedding.  We even get a few scenes with Elizabeth and other supporting characters.  

At first, these scenes really seem to slow the story down.  The odd placement of a few scenes with Henry’s friends and family worrying about his sanity sprinkled in-between the monster’s creation sequences can seem to abruptly grind the movie to a halt as the audience is forced to sit back from the edge of their seats.  I mean, what is this story about, anyway?  Reanimating the dead or Henry’s wedding?

More specifically, who is this story supposed to be about?

That’s kind of the problem, isn’t it?  

The easy answer is to say that Frankenstein as a film is focused on Frankenstein as a man.  The scientist, bent on playing God, creating a monster and forced to destroy it.  Frankenstein, the son, the fiance, the student, the friend.

By the same token, it’s equally as simple to claim that the focus of the story is on the monster.

The mute creation of a madman, the childish brute who never asked to be made, who was never shown any kindness.  The lonely monster, tortured and brutalized for being ugly, condemned for the sins of his creator.  The monster, the son of Frankenstein.

Typically, finding the protagonist of a film isn’t that hard.  Luke Skywalker, Rocky Balboa, Dorothy Gale, are all easily presented as who the story is about, the person who pushes the action forward.  But unfortunately, protagonists aren’t as easy to spot in every case.

Protagonists, as it turns out, aren’t always at the center of the story.  In our study of Ladyhawke (nearly a year ago!), we discovered that sometimes, the protagonist and the character that the audience spends the most time with aren’t necessarily the same person.  In Running Scared, there are two protagonists, but only one major one.  In our analysis of Psycho, we discussed the fact that the protagonist doesn’t even have to be a hero.  

That’s certainly the case with Frankenstein.

Whichever way you slice it, there is no ‘hero’ in Frankenstein.  Neither monster nor man saves the day.  The climax, presented as a victory to the townspeople, is a tragedy: the creature, beaten and hated for his entire short life, is seemingly burnt alive, trapped, rejected by his creator.

This is not a happy ending.  But then again, it’s not a happy story.  It started with digging up corpses in a graveyard, remember?

It turns out, when you think back over the events of the film, it’s actually pretty easy to spot the protagonist.

When it comes to ‘spotting’ the protagonist in Frankenstein, it’s less an analysis of the actions taken by specific characters, and more the ‘blame game’.  Who’s fault is most of the story?  Is it the monster, for killing?  Is it Fritz, for antagonizing him unprovoked?  Waldman’s, for mentoring Henry in the first place?

Rather grimly, looking back over the course of events in the story and determining who is to blame gives us our protagonist.  It is, of course, Henry Frankenstein.

Henry Frankenstein is far from heroic, but he is responsible for nearly every action taken by every character in the story, from his friends checking up on him to his creation wreaking havoc.  It is his blind arrogance and refusal to take into account the consequences of his actions that lead to so much suffering, and, ironically, death.  Henry is bent on achieving the impossible, and in doing so, nearly dooms much of the main cast.  He digs up the graves.  He creates the monster.

Worst of all, he’s the one who won’t give the creature what he needs most: love.

For all intents and purposes, the creature is the son of Frankenstein, his creation.  Henry has been nothing but an active character up until the point where he creates the monster, and after that, he suddenly becomes passive.  His goal accomplished, he doesn’t treat the monster like a person, but a successful experiment.  He halfheartedly scolds Fritz for tormenting him, but doesn’t actively try to stop him.  Through his carelessness, he gives the monster none of the attention he needs, and as a result, the monster is treated terribly at worst, and with indifference or scientific curiosity at best.

Once people start dying, Henry wakes up a little bit.  His growth, his character arc, comes in the form of self-realization, of owning up and accepting blame for what he’s done.  After he realizes his guilt, he does something about it, going after the monster and trying to ‘right’ his wrong by destroying it.  

While still not exactly a heroic figure, at the very least, Henry does change by the end of the story.  And isn’t that what protagonists are supposed to do?

Yes, it is.

But there’s another character we’re leaving out of this equation.

The idea of the monster being a reflection, or another side, of Frankenstein is not a new one.  It’s an idea that’s frequently discussed and analyzed by plenty of experts.  Right now, though, we’re not looking at the monster as a reflection of Frankenstein.  We’re looking at him as a creation, as a son.

See, Henry isn’t the only person that changes throughout the story.  While Henry goes from mad monster to man, the creature has a reverse progression.

Throughout the first part of his existence, the creature is a passive character.  He is acted upon, created through no will of his own, and then tormented for no good reason.  He is a curious creature, a being that demonstrates a childlike joy at the world around him.

The creature doesn’t truly become a ‘monster’ until more than halfway through the film.  He kills Fritz, only because he tormented him.  He kills Waldman while the doctor is trying to dissect him.  In his early moments, the monster reacts to people trying to harm him, rather than lashing out, unprovoked.  His interaction with light, and people who aren’t cruel to him, demonstrate the monster’s potential true nature: a gentle giant.

When the monster breaks out of the tower and meets Maria, there is no hostility.  He is genuinely happy, enjoying interaction with the first person to show him genuine kindness.  Her death is an accident, the result of his misunderstanding, causing him great distress.

After that, a switch is flipped.  It is here that he goes after Elizabeth, (though not harming her) and attacks Henry after Henry pursues him.  At this point, it can be argued that the creature truly becomes the monster…but it’s hard to say that it’s his fault.

We as an audience don’t know what’s going on in the monster’s head at this point.  He can’t speak to tell us.  But it’s not a large leap of logic to wonder if the monster might be blaming his misery on Henry and the others in his life as well.  And in the end, he is seemingly killed, abandoned by his uncaring creator and shunned by a world who mistreated him without cause.

No matter who Frankenstein is about, it’s a sad story.  It’s also a good story.

Frankenstein learns his lesson, repents from playing God, and fixes his mistake.  The monster dies.  All of the human, ‘non monster’ characters live happily ever after.  (Until Bride of Frankenstein.)  Good…wins?

There’s no line drawn, no sides of ‘good or evil’ in Frankenstein.  The story is not good guy vs. bad guy, no good vs. evil, just a creator and his creation, the tragedy of a man too arrogant to realize the blasphemy of his actions, and the creature he made, turned into a monster due to mistreatment and misunderstanding.  

It’s sad, yes.  It’s also a satisfying ending.

It ties up loose ends.  It answers the questions.  It gives everyone an ending, happy or not.

While Frankenstein does have some plot holes, overall, it’s a tight story.  More importantly, it’s an emotional story, and a smart story.  It brings up questions of morality, of nature vs. nurture, and of what we perceive as monstrous.  It’s a gripping story with a great atmosphere, an iconic look, and immortal characters, setpieces, scenes and dialogue that have been remembered for almost ninety years for a reason.  It’s an iconic film, a memorable masterpiece of simple, but smart, storytelling, constantly driving at an emotional core that still holds up to this day.

A toast to the son of Frankenstein.

In the articles ahead, we’re going to be taking a look at some of the other important elements to the story of Frankenstein, so if you enjoyed this one, stick around and join us!  Don’t forget that my ask box is always open for questions, requests, comments, or just a conversation.  Thanks so much for reading, and I hope to see you in the next article.

[lostanarchymagazine]

Hanna-Barbera Beyond is a comic book initiative started in 2016 by DC Comics that consists in a line of comic books based on various characters from the animation studio Hanna-Barbera.

Wacky Raceland is a comic book series that re-imagines the cast of Wacky Races competing in a desert wasteland, reminiscent of the Mad Max film series, filled with all kinds of obstacles, towards one single goal, Utopia, mankind's last safe haven. It is also one of four comic books introduced by DC Comics in 2016 as part of the comic book initiative Hanna-Barbera Beyond, among with Scooby Apocalypse, Future Quest and The Flintstones.

The world has ended, but the race has just begun! Penelope Pitstop, Peter Perfect and the rest of the Wacky Racers vie for the finish line in a contest where the winner takes all and second place is death. Today’s trial: the shattered maze of freeways known as the Überpass, where they’re beset by giant sand beasts, mutated insects, and worst of all, Dick Dastardly’s murderously poor sportsmanship. The last thing they need after surviving the race is a brutal bar fight in a local dive, but that’s just what they get!!

Characters

Dick Dastardly and Muttley – Drivers of the Mean Machine, Dick Dastardly and Muttley are known by the other racers for being the biggest cheaters there are, not to mention the biggest bastards there are. Before the apocalypse, Dastardly was a world-renowned pianist called Richard D'Astardlien, who lost his wife and son due to his cowardice during a nanite attack. As for Muttley, he is a mutated and robotically-enhanced dog whose intelligence and aggressiveness were slightly enhanced thanks to his exposure to the "SC-00-B2" serum, created in the Butcher Shop as one of the many projects overseen by Professor Pat Pending.

Penelope Pitstop – Driver of the Compact Pussycat, Penelope Pitstop is a tough, no-nonsense young girl who takes no orders from anyone and sees herself as a strong and independent woman in a world where the strongest prevail. She has a close bond with her car, stating that they are full-time partners in the race, looking out for one another. Before the apocalypse, Penelope lived in the Greek island of Aegina, with her mother and her sister, who were killed by a tsunami that destroyed the island.

Peter Perfect – Driver of the Turbo Terrific, Peter Perfect is seen by the other racers as Earth's last Boy Scout, mostly because of the way he acts, upholding the rules of chivalry. Unlike most of his fellow racers, Peter believes that even though the world has ended, it does not mean one should act and behave like a savage. A natural driver, he is also a bit of a scaredy-cat, trying to make a good impression in front of Penelope, whom he has a soft spot for.

Professor Patrick "Pat" Pending – Driver of the Convert-a-Car, Professor Pat Pending is an erudite and slightly insane scientist who, in the past, was head of the projects and scientific experiments conducted in a private research facility called "the Butcher Shop". Among those experiments were some of the individuals that would later join the Wacky Race, as well as creations that caused the end of the world. With an insane yet brilliant mind at his disposal, he makes his job keeping the racers alive; for secretly, he needs them to accomplish a goal that he set for himself a long time ago. It is revealed that he subliminally programmed the Announcer to create the Race (and the racers) so that he would have an army to destroy her.

The Ant Hill Mob – Drivers of the Bulletproof Bomb, the Ant Hill Mob are a group of gangster-like albino midgets with a hive-mind mentality composed of seven members, named I to VII, having V (pronounced Vee) as their leader. Although sharing a hive-mind, the seven members of the Ant Hill Mob can think and act for themselves separately. They were part of an experiment conducted by Professor Pat Pending in the Butcher Shop, which manufactured them in a cloning facility in order to be used as cheap manpower for the military.

Lazy Luke and Blubber Bear – Drivers of the Arkansas Chug-a-bug, Lazy Luke and Blubber Bear are a duo of hunters who lived up north. Having been friends ever since they were kids, they have always looked out for each other. Luke is an alcoholic who drinks in order to forget the horrors he sees (he carries around a map with the locations of all the bars in the Wasteland), while Blubber is half-human, half-bear as a result of the Announcer's surgery to piece him back together after a grizzly bear attacked the two friends, nearly killing him.

The Red Baron – Driver of the Crimson Haybailer, Red is a narcissistic, homophobic sociopath with Nazi tendencies, always referring to his motherland and how Adolf Hitler was right about eradicating certain kinds of people off the face of the planet, while stating that he himself is the living proof of Germany's Master Race. Before he joined the Race, Red was a professional gambler, having ripped off some of the most powerful men and women in Las Vegas. He was also in love with the daughter of Las Vegas' most powerful man, the Colonel, who accidentally killed his daughter when she placed herself in front of a bullet meant for Red. He has a particular hatred for Sergeant Blast.

Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth – Drivers of the Buzz Wagon, Rufus is a gay lumberjack who believes in the old saying that "bigger is better". As for Sawtooth, he is a small androgynous street urchin who fancies all kinds of knives, whom Rufus adopted as his protégé.

Sergeant Blast and Private Meekly – Drivers of the Army Surplus Special, Sergeant Blast and Private Meekly are an unstoppable duo, familiarized with all sorts of military tactics and an amazing arsenal at their disposal. Sergeant Blast is a transgender woman and spends her time reminding the others that although she is transgender, that makes her no less worthy than anyone else. As for Private Meekly, he is a weapon enthusiast, who sticks around Sergeant Blast not because he fears her, but because he respects her.

The Gruesome Twosome – Drivers of the Creepy Coupe, the Gruesome Twosome are a duo of freaks who resemble monsters, with Little Gruesome resembling a green-skinned vampire and Big Gruesome resembling a Frankenstein monster-type gladiator. Not much is known about them, except for the fact that Little Gruesome is able to control a swarm of bats that do his bidding, while Big Gruesome has incredible strength.

The Slag Brothers – Drivers of the Boulder Mobile, the Slag Brothers are a couple of Neanderthals who were brought back to life through the experiments conducted by Professor Pat Pending in the Butcher Shop before escaping it. Although they were frozen in ice for thousands of years, both Rock and Gravel Slag are able to understand English and speak it through the use of caveman expressions, thanks to a series of brain surgeries conducted by Pat Pending. Having lived off the land in the past, the two men are incredible scavengers and hunters.

The Announcer – The mysterious host of the Wacky Race. The Announcer turns out to be Professor Pat Pending's wife, Angelique Pending, who lost her body in an accident during the Slag Brothers' rampage through the Butcher Shop. In order to save her, Pat Pending removed her brain and placed it in a special container, which allowed her to live. Unfortunately, the lack of a physical body resulted in her going insane, unleashing an apocalyptic event on Earth which turned it into a wasteland.

[ducktracy]

120. the phantom ship (1936)

release date: february 1st, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: jack king

starring: tommy bond (beans), bernice hansen (ham and ex), billy bletcher (skeleton)

the first cartoon to include the trademark zooming WB shield! ham and ex make their first appearance since i haven’t got a hat. they’d accompany beans in a few cartoons, usually as trouble making nuisances to the chagrin of beans. beans travels to iceland to investigate a haunted ship, but stowaways ham and ex cause trouble for all.

open to ham and ex, crouched over a newspaper that’s sprawled out on the floor. they exchange awed looks, the headline reading “BEANS TO HUNT FOR HAUNTED TREASURE SHIP IN NORTH”, complete with a photo of a smiling beans in pilot’s garb. ham and ex leap to their feet, giggling excitedly and dashing out the door.

they stumble across beans, who’s oiling up his anthropomorphic plane (a scene parallel to bosko lubing up HIS plane in dumb patrol (1931)). beans runs into the shed to fetch something, leaving the perfect opportunity for ham and ex to jump into the smiling plane as stowaways. the disney-esque plane lets them in, lowering itself and opening the hatch. beans returns just in time, unaware that he has two guests going along in his journey. he squirts more oil into the plane’s mouth, gives the propeller a good spin, and hops right in to take off.

on the plane’s dashboard is a ticker that marks beans’ various destinations. amusingly out of place animation was beans does the hopak while flying over russia, icicles forming on his nose and thermometer bursting after flying over iceland… he whips out a pair of binoculars and spots a broken, worn down ship in the frosty climate. beans gives an excited “hooray!” and spirals safety into a landing, icicles substituting the role of smoke. 

he skids to a stop right in front of the ship. a bat is perched on the wall of the ship, its wings labelled “THE PHANTOM”. beans observes in excitement as the bat flies away. suddenly, ham and ex burst out of the hatch, exclaiming “surprise! surprise!” surely enough, beans is startled after his wits, the famous jack king “hat take” as his hat flies up in shock. he scratches his head and merely shrugs it off.

ham and ex eagerly take beans by the hands, pulling him along. conveniently, a staircase plops down right where the trio was standing. beans cautiously approaches the staircase and motions for the eager pups to follow. just as they begin to ascend, the stairs slide down beneath them, like going up the down escalator. a spare board attached to the ship takes a life of its own as a giant hand and smacks them all to the top of the ship.

the sails on the ship are worn and ragged. one of the torn sails morphes into (another) giant hand, this time tugging at beans’ tail and attempting to snatch him up. it succeeds, and it carelessly tosses beans to another anthropomorphic sail, who then slams him to the ground. the world’s cruelest game of monkey in the middle. beans bounces off a pile of rope, prompting an anthropomorphic anchor to deck him good. beans flies into the belly of the ship, landing on the ground and shadow boxing in self defense, muttering “i’ll get that so and so, he can’t do that to me!” in the midst of his groveling, a lantern swings and knocks beans over once more.

elsewhere, ham and ex are calling “uncle beans! uncle beans!” at the top of the ship with no luck. a pirate skeleton (or skeleton pirate? :thinking emoji:) pops out of a hanging safety boat and grunts “pipe down!” ham and ex, terrified, take cover under a tarp, trembling (complete with an out of place, frankly annoying ringing bell sound effect). a life preserver falls on top of them. lovely, stretchy animation (that reminds me of a very watered down version of this from a gruesome twosome) as ham and ex attempt to run away from each other, yet inevitably bouncing back and collapsing.

instead, they opt to commute by one carrying the other on his shoulders. predictably, they form the appearance of a ghost. i wonder where this is going. they bump into an open door occupied by a skeleton. the skeleton freaks out, clinging to a flagpole for safety. the flagpole breaks, and, with no other option for escape, the skeleton jumps overboard. more animation strikingly parallel to a gruesome twosome as ham and ex topple off each other, running into a pole. both “sides” of their tarp covered lump stretch out on opposite ends, and they’re propelled backwards, conveniently tying around the pirate skeleton from before and unwinding. they’re tossed against the door of the anthropomorphic ship (jack king’s disney influence strong as ever), the door used as a tongue as the ship swallows the pup into its cavernous belly.

like an out of control snowball, the twins barrel down the stairs… and right into beans. the tarp unfolds with ham and ex on the outside and beans beneath the tarp. unaware that their precious uncle beans is smothered beneath the tarp, ham and ex grab two pieces of wood and bash the moving lump’s head in. finally beans yells “OUCH!” (he sounds a lot like jackie morrow’s interpretation of buddy instead of tommy bond. i wonder if they switched for this cartoon? some of the voice credits are so unreliable, but i’m sure my judgement isn’t the best either. i’ll still keep the credit as bond for simplicity/continuity’s sake, but it certainly does sound suspiciously like morrow.), and ham and ex spot an injured beans beneath the tarp.

they both scoop him up, holding him by the hands. beans registers the pain (figurative and literal) and weasels his way out of their grip, exclaiming “bah!” in frustration. he opens a door, hoping for an exit, and finds something much more desirable: a treasure chest overflowing with gold. he creeps over cautiously, then rifling through the goods like he can’t believe it. ham and ex also imitate his cautious saunter, playing with their own coins. a nice little segment of brief personality as they bet each other on flipping coins. 

suddenly, beans spots two people sitting in front of a woodstove, frozen. not creepy at all. beans pulls out a chair beneath one of the frozen victims, and then the other, and feeds both into the stove. he strikes a match to get a roaring fire going, and returns to his treasure while they thaw. beans loads sacks of gold into his plane, tossing them right out the window. 

finally, both of the frozen wonders thaw out and regain consciousness. a particularly burly pirate (that you know is voiced by billy bletcher, even without hearing him. literally another peg leg pete character, complete with said peg leg) discovers beans tossing heaps of gold into his plane and threatens him. beans, ham, and ex are all terrified, ham and ex seeking refuge in a barrel while beans runs away from the pissed off pirate.

eventually, the pirate’s peg leg gets caught in an exposed hole in the board. ham and ex observe the stuck pirate, but quickly duck as the pirate’s assistant spots the curious pups. jack king uses a lot of closeups in his work, and they’re particularly rife in this cartoon. i applaud him for doing something different and slightly ambitious, but they break up the flow of the cartoon rather than enhance it. now, the assistant chases after ham and ex, running straight into a pole and becoming disoriented.

back to the pirate, who’s exerting all of his effort to loosen his peg from the board. he tears the board out from the floor, still stuck. he pulls so hard that he’s propelled into the air, thrown to the deck of the ship where beans is pacing around. bans hides in a cannon, but the pirate pulls him out regardless. he punches beans into a tube… and beans pops out from a parallel tube, ramming right into the pirate. 

ham and ex are shimmying along on a rope close to the crow’s nest (i guess the chase is now just… on top of the ship now? with no prior indication? suspension of disbelief, i know), the pirate’s assistant preparing cutting the rope. ham and ex swing right into the parked plane below, starting the engine. meanwhile, beans is still engaged in his own fight, narrowly dodging an exploding barrel of tnt. he’s rocketed into the air, and ham and ex swoop into the rescue, catching beans in the back seat. beans snaps out of his fugue, coming to terms with ham and ex’s bravery. he gives them kisses of gratitude before saluting the ground before him, and iris out as the plane flies away into the horizon.

not my favorite jack king entry, but not the worst. it was relatively gagless and didn’t feel as exhilarating as it should have with all the action unfolding. it WAS nice to see ham and ex make their first (of a handful) appearance since i haven’t got a hat, though. it just came off as relatively incoherent. it’s basically what you’d imagine it to be as. anthropomorphic objects everywhere. hijinks ensue. it just didn’t have anything to write home about, beans felt drier than usual and ham and ex, a slight improvement, still felt pretty bare, too. i’d say skip it, nothing great but nothing terrible either. but, of course,

link!

[bottlcd]

aaron tviet? no, that’s just JAMESON LEROY (  cis male+ he/him ). you know, the thirty two year old witch who’s been known to be observant but misleading. they’ve also been dubbed the joker for those exact reasons. 

A like = me popping in your IMs to plot.

 He was the first child of his parents, Beatrice, a history professor at the nearby community college and Grey, the town’s local pediatrician. Like his parents before him, Jameson was born and raised in Covington. 

Growing up, life was completely normal for Jameson. He was your typical American boy. He was the apple of his parents eyes, he excelled at sports (but baseball was his favorite), and he was more interested in girls than his academics. But the Leroys had a family secret, they were witches. 

You don’t become one of the state’s top pediatricians without a little help, but Grey kept this a secret from his wife, as well as his children. He did not want to expose them to a supernatural life. 

This secret would’ve followed Grey to the grave if destiny did not intervene. When Jameson was sixteen, he begins having these strange dreams where he was visited by an ancestor of his, named Victor Leroy. He revealed information to Jameson, like that he was a witch and their family history of black magic and necromancy. At first, Jameson thought that these were bizarre dreams, but when he started seeing Victor’s figure in places that weren’t his dreams (like at school or when he was hanging out with his friends), he concluded that this what not his imagination, this was real. 

Victor mentored Jameson in magic, but made him keep it a secret from his family. He was okay with that, as he was angry with his father for hiding this from him. But with Victor’s mentor ship, the boy began to change. He was no longer friendly, easy going Jay. He was aggressive and mean towards his peers (basically became a bully). When his siblings got under his nerves, he had no problem throwing a punch. He yelled at his mother, fought with his father. He wasn’t their perfect golden boy. He was different. 

He followed everything Victor said. So one evening, when an argument between Jameson and his father got too heated, he dropped the bomb of “I know what we are!” He proved with it with using pyrokenesis and setting the couch on fire. (All under Victor’s advisement ofc)

Beatrice screamed in fear, and that what threw Jameson off. He accidentally set the whole house on fire. He was able to escape, but his parents were not so lucky. 

After the fire, Jameson left Covington. He was nomadic for a few years, never staying in one place too long and making friends along the way. 

When he was twenty five, he found a coven of black magic witches outside of  Portland, Oregon. With enough years, manipulation, and smooth talk, Jameson rose to become their leader.

Now that he was the leader, he finally had enough witches to help him bring his ghostly mentor back to the living. Things took a turn for the worse. Whatever they “brought back” wasn’t Victor and the entity went on a killing spree of the entire coven. A witchy brawl ensued and the coven collapsed in flames. Jameson barely escaped and for the first time since he was sixteen, he was alone. 

This happened about three months ago. Desperate and no where else to go, Jameson returned to Covington, for the first time in fourteen years. 

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS:

I will posting wanted connections for Jameson’s siblings and former members of his coven on the main!

FIRST LOVE: Gosh, I’m sucker for “we used to be so in love but so much has changed since then”-esque plots. That’s exactly what this would be. She was a cheerleader, he was a baseball player, and their love was genuine. Until Jameson found out what he is, and then their relationship changed for the worse. 

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND: Jameson’s boy growing up. They were the inseparable gruesome twosome starting in elementary school following into high school.

FORMER FLINGS: Jameson was a ladies man as a teen, and still is. These could’ve been teenage lustful flings that happened while he was still in Covington. Or these could have happened during his early twenties when he was living all over the country. Jameson is pansexual, so any gender is welcome. 

FRIENDS: Childhood friends from Covington, or friends from his travels work as well. I’m not sure how great of a friend Jameson is, but these can be characters who’s company he enjoys. 

ENEMIES: Jameson is the worst so I’m sure he has his fair share of enemies out in the world. It would be interesting to have a vampire or any other immortal who had beef with Victor or someone else from the Leroy lineage. Or someone who was friends with his parents who was pissed about what happened to them. 

[jimmycarrhairlinesurgery]

hey abby guess what. 1-30

1: Favorite season?

you KNOW you KNOW a softe bitch loves season 5 its just pure and nice and comforting to watch and also has so many goode episodes and macden moments in it... i literally have the url iasipseasonfive saved like need i say more

2: Favorite character?

its mac... like ofc it is ive loved dennis and dee in the past and of course i still have a soft spot for the trash twins esp their childhoods but mac’s coming out arc is just perfect and he just wants to be a happy boye! honestly it might change but my big three are den dee and mac sorry gruesome twosome 

3: Favorite cast member?

i kin glennato and like LOVE his weird music taste but i have 2 say kaitlin olson shes so present on social media and the utter reverence with which the other cast members speak abt her is just. beautiful! she’s credited with literally saving the show by making dee just as despicable as the rest of the gang she’s a feminist queen and also managed to cuff rmacelhenney like kudos girl! angel queen gorgeous etc

4: OTP?

it’s mac and dennis honestly their relationship can get my heart pounding and it was the main reason i was drawn to the show in the first place... kings of being repressed sexually and emotionally and honestly i related to that feeling of being repressed and in love w your best friend like not to project on characters that have nothing to do w me but they rlly helped me work through some issues!!! im not as ride or die as before because theyve already done so much but fingers crossed for s14 lads

5: BROTP?

ooooo this is difficult bc i love charmac but mac and dee is the friendship we deserve.... she could help him get over his raging misogyny and he could introduce her to the gay lifestyle how perfect would that be?? also i just feel like when they r alone they could be so nice to each other and i want that for them

6: NOTP?

one of them raped the other, what more can i say?

7: answered

8: Least favorite character?

it has to be frank like i get so angry thinking about how he abused dennis and dee as children he has almost zero redeemable qualities but like.. i could learn to love him if mfhp was a turning point... i just can’t ever get over the fact that he owned a sweatshop the joke stuff just isn’t even funny to me it makes me feel ill

9: Least favorite episode?

uhhhh if you’ve seen iasip ranked you’ll know that we ranked a cricket’s tale and frank’s brother as the worst but i’d also like to put up there the gang goes on family fight bc dennis’ breakdown is painfullll... other episodes that hurt me personally are the gang broke dee and how mac got fat

10: Favorite crack ship?

deetress started off as a crackship but it’s become honestly very serious and i hold it v close to my heart... if you don’t believe me watch one single minute of the boggs ladies reboot.... honorable mention is charden 

11: Favorite headcanon?

hhmm i think that one of my favourite ones of all time is dennis is the bar like that was inimitable... also like hc that dee is lesbian bc she is

12: An episode you wish you could change?

all lethal weapon episodes... imagine how iconic they could be and quotable as well if they didn’t include blackface :(

13: An episode you wish you could write?

i want to write a vegas ep for sure.... like imagine also i would NOT do it justice but the episode where mac and dennis first get together, oof actually you’d do a better job of it tbh

14: Favorite thing about the show?

it has to be rcg like what other showrunners would care so much about the fate of the show and adapt it so much as time goes on... as much as i slander them on this website they really created one of the best shows to ever air

15: Least favorite thing about the show?

hmmm aside from all the blackface and the fact that they should have hired black writers if they wanted to address race in the show.... the fact that the gang r being so mean to mac and the whole ddl thing it’s a nightmare why didn’t they tell us what was going on with dennis??

16: Favorite running gag?

charlie’s illiteracy......... iconique also repressed mac was a good gag while it lasted i am glad he is out though

17: Best Mac shirt?

BEAST COAST

18: Best Dennis rant?

hnndg im gonna have to say the whole keeping the skin,, skin glass box thing in season 10 i forget the name of the episode but GOD that kills me every time glenn really went to julliard huh

19: answered

20: answered

21: Favorite end credits message?

idk i never watch the end credits messages! send me your favourites if you have any lads :)

22: A character you’d write off the show?

ngl probably cricket... he really bores me and like a cricket’s tale cemented that i think everything they can do with the character they have done but for longevity they have to keep him so he can supplement the gang’s schemes

23: An actor you want to see on the show (bonus points if you can think of a character for them)?

ooooooooo i’d love if dax sheppard came back on the show!! also i WISH lili reinhardt could come on but as betty from riverdale.. like a 30 second betty from riverdale cameo would be so ideal you have no idea it would be so stupid but like... hh

24: Favorite fic?

Yphrum’s Law by @lesbianfreyja chapter one made me BAWL (andchaos on ao3) and also anything by @macfoundhispride (yennefers on ao3)  and also your fics michelle !!! everyone go check her out she’s peraltiagoisland on ao3 

25: Favorite promo shoot?

the fuckign ingrid bergman one for season 8 i have no idea why they would do that but it’s incredible..... so niche i feel like it was glennato’s idea

26: Best Waitress hair-style?

sexeyyy episode charlie and dee find love her hair was so pretty long but also i love it now im glad she went brunette again good for her!! any waitress hairstyle is a good hairstyle

27: Fluffy hair Mac or hair-gel Mac?

FLUFFY HAIR MAC ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

28: answered in GREAT DETAIL

29: Overrated character?

cricket... not to bash cricket again.... but also frank and charlie are overrated imo i can’t understand why charlie is the show’s darling i’ve never been that interested in him

30: Underrated episode?

the most underrated episode of all time is pop-pop the final solution i love it sm.... GOD it’s so good it truly has everything and like the nazi stuff was well executed.. questions abt life and death,,, deception, ryan gosling? i love it also dennis reynolds an erotic life is amazing 

this took me like an hour and a half michelle i hope you’re happy!! also if you’re still reading thank you for putting up w my bullshit

[abitterlifethroughcinema]

         #ABitterLifeThroughCinema’s WOKE! Film Reviews

     The Top Ten (+1) Best Movies of 2018 and where to find them!

                                                          by

                                           Lucas Avram Cavazos

+1…11. Overlord  Having its premiere at this year’s Sitges Int’l Film Fest, Overlord not only happened to be one of the fave films screened there this past festival, but this cinematic fantasy is an all-too-real and stark portrayal of a horror that actually occurred, and it deserves a nod from the Barcelona film critic family, so here it goes. Duly noted, I’d say. It starts with an insane aerial combat mission on the night of D-Day, one which goes awry and sees only a handful of paratroopers surviving the drop when enemy fire rains hell. They land in provincial France and the plot sets out to detail some of the inner workings of the Third Reich in reference to the insane, gruesome experiments done on captured Europeans and Jews. Those stories you’ve heard about turning these poor people into guinea pigs for super soldier intent using potent, injected serums…yeah, those? They’re true, if you believe the words of JJ Abrams. Are they as utterly brutal and horror/zombie film-like as displayed here? I sure as hell hope not. (now available On Demand and DVD)

10. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs There once was a film called O Brother Where Art Thou? While this is not its sequel, there is a sharp-witted vein to this film that could only be crafted and gifted to us by the Coen Brothers. What a hoot it is, even if it is a rather darkly-tinted hue of that hoot and humour. It is also one of their finest in years. Revolving around the singing cowpoke Buster Scruggs (Tim Blake Nelson) and five other tales brought to us with the commonly-threaded theme of death in often brutally funny ways, this film is a fine return to oddball form from two of the finest sibling directors of all time. Starring Liam Neeson, James Franco, Zoe Kazan, even Tyne Daly and so many in its vignettes, and that acting star power fuses this Western comedy into new territory for the brothers. Their previous works set in the west always seemed to be re-hashing works of years gone by but here, with their usage of almost comic-book-like details and witty banter make this much more enjoyable than their other historical works like O Bother and their remake of True Grit. Best western in absolute years! (available on Netflix or VOD)

9. Eighth Grade This poignant little film, which should have been wide-released everywhere the world over, is given fierce and bittersweet star power by Elsie Fisher, protagonist and student at the heart of this film. Comedian Bo Turnham has brought us the quintessential coming-of-tweenage story and along with Fisher, everyone in this film is so perfectly placed in their roles, especially Josh Hamilton as her dad, who deserves some nominations for this film but is unlikely to get any. Telling the story of 13-year old Kayla, we the audience get a sneak-peek into the minds and lives of today’s young adults. From her simple YouTube videos made to encourage other young kids to her obvious desire to fit in with older kids to her insecurity with boys, this film paints a stark reality that too many have lived through and this little indie film deserves aplomb from anywhere it can get it! (now available On Demand and DVD)

8. A Star is Born I skipped the critics’ screening of this film for the mere fact that I couldn’t bear to see if the acting and plot lines were another torrid take on a much-redone film. Even into the holiday season, I had not yet seen it and then when I did, I certainly took back any reservations. Bradley Cooper’s update of the film starring himself and Lady Gaga is just about as good as everyone said it was, and that was beyond refreshing to note post-viewing. In many ways, I feel that Cooper is likely revealing a few things about himself with the guise of “it’s a movie” being a nice cover; in some ways, he gives us what I believe are hints of his covert life, and it’s with Gaga’s turn as Ally that we really see him shine beyond the shtick of his character, country-rocker Jackson Maine. In a tad corny-tad, gripping way that takes hold the moment you see Gaga, let’s be frank and real, this film goes on to detail a Diet Coke version of the grim realities that often detail too many a tale of celebrity in Hollywood. Without revealing too many details of the film’s plot and denouement, we are looking at a necessary conversation about alcoholism, drug addiction and fame (plus a lack of ’NO’ men/women in many relationships) that needs to addressed for all ages. Well done, Mr. Cooper Goes to the Oscars. (At select screens, On Demand & DVD)

7. El Angel Incidentally, this may be the first time in a rather long time that I say something good about Argentinian men, so do take note. Telling the true story of fresh-faced boy killer Carlos Robledo Puch, played to Oscar-worthy perfection by newcomer Lorenzo Ferro, the masterful detail to which director Luis Ortega has crafted this arthouse meets dramedy-thriller is astounding and easily touches heights set by dePalma and even, dare I say it, Scorcese. We follow young Carlitos Puch, who is just nearing the edge of seventeen, as takes up with a rough and tough family of his devilishly attractive school chum Ramon, played by the spirited Chino Darin, son of Ricardo Darin. But as Carlitos comes to find out, his street crimes can easily be paved to real ones and his sadistic tendencies suddenly yet gradually paint a picture of someone who is in part desperate for attention and tacceptance and in part a fairly smart, well-to-do young adult. He parlays his sociopathy at pubescence into psychopathy with time, and this film will likely be, but should definitely not be, forgotten come awards and Best Of lists time.(available On Demand and DVD)

6. Black Panther As Oscar season comes to a head, it is worth talking about one of the most striking films that you’ll see for a while. Black Panther is that good, not only because of its genre but also because of its message: that seeking freedom through recreating systems of oppression will only extend the ill-treatment and broken nature we find ourselves in nowadays. Set in the fictional African nation of Wakanda, protagonist King T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) brings us the first real black superhero from the Marvel universe. With a cast including Lupita Nyong’o, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker and Michael B Jordan, the acting is beyond impressive. What is even more amazing, however, is how the plot power-plays many elements of our world’s current political climate. (now available On Demand and DVD)

5. Chappaquiddick Another film which is nothing short of striking in its relevance to the current political situation in the USA. Senator Ted Kennedy was the only remaining Kennedy that I was familiar with throughout my adolescence and early adulthood. Jason Clarke as the Massachusetts senator is astounding, as is the cut of his jib and chin, although the accent was a tad weak, to be ever sincere. This is a complete revelation on the many details that were only gingerly touched upon during the course of the week following the death which this movie is detailing . As the facts are laid out in the film, it astounds me that the American people continued to vote and elect Kennedy for decades after. This is a study on arrogance, class and governmental ambiguity. And if that was the case with liberals in the Sixties, how much more so with conservatives in this digital age? My favourite film of last year’s BCN Film Festival. (now available On Demand and DVD)

4. Private Life Good Lawd this is such a heartwarming/breaking story with the finest elements of believable comedy and situational realism that define the art of the classic Gen X film from the 90s to now. May we never forget that it was Gen, and even those a few years before them, who gave us the digiverse-Netflix-instant oatmeal www.orld in which we live today and when I see a very NYC film like this one, it makes it a true reality check. Being the age that one should be married with kids, I watched Kathryn Hahn as Rachel absolutely slay the silver screen and am eager to see if she picks up any more accolades throughout the current awards season. Simple plot…she’s in her early 40s and her hubby Rich (played by Paul Giamatti) is entering his late 40s and they are fully entrenched within the confines of every single way to conceive a baby. Following the couple through their trials and tribulations really get pushed up an ante when sort-of relative Sadie (the lovely Kayli Carter) decides she will be the surrogate mum for them as things get a tad pear-shaped. This could easily be dubbed a dreamed, for in effect, it is; what needs to be known is that this is also a morality tale for a new age. The old-fashioned ethics of yesteryear just do not apply anymore, at least not in big cities, and the less is more factor easily makes this one of the finest films released within the last year. (available on Netflix)

3. BlacKKKlansman Without a doubt, this is the finest work in all too many years by Spike Lee, and he takes no prisoners in letting you know that the spilled essence of blaxploitation all over this celluloid is to egg you into knowing that this story is 100% true…and crazy. The mere fact that David Duke is literally cheerleading for the current President of the United States should scare us all and wake those who are not. Watching actor John David Washington portray Ron Stallworth, the real-life cop who slyly infiltrated the inner workings of the Klu Klux Klan 40 years ago. After signing up for the Colorado Spring PD, he realises the lack of trust in the 98% Anglo-Saxon workforce, as he’s thrown into monitoring the goings-on of any Black Panther student situations. Eventually, he takes up with a guy on the force that he can dig called Flip and played to skilled excellence by the oddest of lookers Adam Driver. Basically, the plot follows the twosome, as they tag team the aforementioned white supremacist movement, Ron being the voice and Flip being the wingman as they start an investigation on grand wizard bastard himself David Duke, played to troubling perfection by Topher Grace, evoking all of the calmness and utter sociopathic tendencies of a man reviled by most yet revered by still too many. And watching this taut film and how it rolls through such a daunting story with comedic aplomb and vicious realness gives you goosebumps. That said, as the film gets toward its ending, is when Lee gives you the goods when he flashes to scenes from the crazy Charlottesville, Virginia, riots, AntiFa protesting and subsequent death of Heather Heyer, may she rest in peace. God Save the World…and Amerikkka.

2. Fahrenheit 11/9  Premiering a few weeks ago here in Spain at very select cinema screens across the country, this is the first documentary in some time by Michael Moore that could play across an international landscape and should be required viewing on any critic’s or person’s list. The titular oddity refers to the day after we all woke up across the world in shock and awe that Donald J Trump had won the Presidency of the USA. Even if this is not Morre’s best film to date, it is undoubtedly the one that holds the viewers’ feet to the fire and calls for them to fight the nasty funk of this administration. But, it’s when he takes it back to his roots, to Flint, Michigan, and ends up involving all local and state politics, that we start to see the more sinister undertakings happening amongst conservative parties, ideals and societies. When you add in the fact of the Parkland High School shooting and the way Moore later fuses footage of Hitler and his minions and followers with a rally speech made by the current occupant of the White House, it becomes all too obvious that things are exactly as we think they are (A HOT MESS!) and we have very little recourse rather than claiming truth. (now available On Demand and DVD)

1. ROMA There are tender moments of realism that are permitted to happen with the rise of instant cinema on VOD and direct-to-home films, and it has been a pleasure to see that sites like Netflix and Amazon and Canal+ have truly added to the foray in which great celluloid can be brought to the masses. Case in point comes the finest piece of dramatic celluloid that graced the silver screen in the last year. Being a Mexican whose father is a naturalised citizen of the US and a mother who is Chicana from the US, like myself and my siblings, the sentimentality ran deep with this film. One of the differences I experienced was the fact that we were the only Mexican-American family in a stately US country club…and we had an entire childhood spent with loving housekeepers, which is what this film inherently is honouring and depicting, using the backdrop of Alfonso Cuarón’s take on growing up in 70s-upper middle class Mexico City in the neighbourhood of Roma. Depicting the life of the house assistant Cleo (first-time performer Yalitza Aparicio in a J.Hud moment, frankly) and the family of Sr. Antonio (Fernando Grediaga), a doctor in the Mexican capital, what Cuarón has called his most personal film to date, is also a B&W modern tale in the vein of Gone with the Wind, and the fact that he centres around a privileged Mexican family is poignant for several reasons: it not only takes a focus away from how Donald bloody Trump has painted Mexicans, in general, to the world, but it also highlights a very human element to how many classes of society function and live there in the frontier regions of North America and, more importantly, EVERYWHERE…easily put, this is a sweet, oft-times simple, oft-times brutal story on humanity. What binds so many critics together on this film’s merits is that fact that Alfonso Cuarón has crafted the past year’s most enigmatic movie, leaving us to make our own answers to what happens to Lady Cleo, her best mate Teresa, and this beautiful family. Absolutely and quietly stunning! (available on Netflix and selects screens across the country)

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Sub*T announce debut EP; share new single ‘Table For Four’

Sub*T, the gruesome twosome of Jade Alcantara and Grace Bennett, have announced the release of their debut EP So Green, produced and mixed by Alicia Bognanno (Bully), with the emotional banger ‘Table for Four’ out today.

Following up singles ‘Boxing Day’ and ‘Too Soon Too Long,’ So Green arrives on November 19. Featuring four tracks written and recorded by Jade and Grace in Nashville with Alicia Bognanno producing and mixing, Grace notes, “It’s a culmination of two years of really hard work that Jade and I have put into this band and the music that we make. It’s an emblem of our friendship, the perfect blend of our personalities and inspiration.“ The collection of songs covers several different topics, from reminiscing on your childhood to relationship naivety, bringing intense emotion to the front of buzzing guitars and melodic vocals. The new single ‘Table For Four’ is a great example of this vulnerability, telling the story of a childhood seen through rose-colored glasses while maintaining their relentless rock sound.

On the story of ‘Table for Four,’ Grace says, “I think it’s a really beautiful story about memories and growing up. Seeing sadness and loss that you can’t control. Reminiscing on all the little details that you remember and the people you remember. It builds up really well in the music too. By the end of the song it’s this huge release of emotion. I just love it.”

Photo credit: Kenzie Davis

[mdwatchestv]

The Magicians 3x10 + 3x11: What Even Are the Rules

Hi, I know, I know I missed a week. It was too late to watch ten, and then eleven was out, and then we just entered total despair free fall. Now here I am Tuesday trying to pick up all the pieces and figure out how I'm going to fit two plot-busting episodes into one reasonably lengthed missive. But I will take up this quest with all the misguided dedication of Beast!Quentin. These episodes were very different in style but Julia's storyline took center stage in both of them, which means maybe I was right to group them together and everything's going to be okay.

We go into 3x10 with only TWO keys left to find and four episodes to find them in, sounds pretty achievable! Q and his current sidekicks, Alice and Josh, learn the next key is in the throne room at Fillory, hey we know where that is! But this retrieval task is made more complicated by the recent overthrow of Eliot and Margo. Our royal pair have taken up residence on their new friend the Muntjac, who can now take to the skies! Also the Muntjac must have a fabulous wardrobe because that Margo's magenta corset and Eliot's sparkly muumuu (?) were to die (Wed morning edit: these outfits were in 3x11 but I was really excited to talk about them) . Q and co somehow hike through Fillory, get all the goss, and then board the ship in the sky. This all happens off screen so I guess we’re not supposed to worry about it. They conveniently deliver the plot point that Fillory is at war with Loria and the Stone Kingdom, due to the violent incompetency of Tick Dick Pickwick. Eliot and Margo springing into action to figure out how to save their kingdom was a nice character moment for them, and marked how far the two have come. While the rest of the Children of Earth are technically also Kings and Queens, they have mostly been vanity titles. Margo and Eliot meanwhile have taken responsibility for something bigger than themselves (for the first time really), and now are showing a selfless devotion to it, which is a pleasing arc for their characters. Anyway they are still Margo and Eliot so they defend Fillory the only ways they know how: with lies, threats and sex. God bless them.

While Josh, Quentin and Alice solve a Zelda puzzle in the Fillory throne room, Quentin finally confronts Alice on why she's suddenly so invested in their quest. Alice reveals she is working for the Library, who also has a vested interest in seeing magic restored. This makes sense because as we learned previously the Library's magic is being fueled by ground up fairy bones! A grim and non-renewable resource. However the Library is also shady af so Q is right to be suspish of Alice (who is shady in general). Anyway the key isn't there, and the quest is a bust.

Meanwhile in the real world, Julia is still on her mission to save the enslaved fairies, and Fen has just discovered emojis. Julia entreats the Fairy Queen to come with her and help free her kinfolk, but it’s Fen's passionate plea that finally sways the Queen into coming. We learn that fairies used to live freely on Earth until Magicians killed them all for their delicious bones. Typical. Julia's plan is to present the Fairy Queen as a slave (complete with Death Necklace), in order to get her to her people and free them. However this plan is complicated by the fact there is no way to remove the necklaces except via beheading. And since the Jaime Ray Newman family has received a large order for fairy bone (likely from The Library that just lost much of their supply), heads are gonna ROLL. Our heroines discover the fairies are held captive by a fairy deal brokered by Dust, who long ago made the ultimate sacrifice in order to allow the OG Fairy Queen (our FQ's mama) to escape Earth. Our current Queen decides to break this deal,  freeing her people, and brutally slaughtering the Newman's (except for Jaime Ray who escapes).

The Fairy Queen laments to Julia that now the fairy's deals will mean nothing since one was broken, but I was a bit confused by this as how is anyone going to know? Like yeah they broke one deal, but pretty much all the humans aware of that are dead, and unless Jaime Ray is writing a breaking news story for The Fillorian Times, I don't really see the ish. Queenie also tells Julia that the fairies have a Quest Key, but it's sort of being used to prop up the whole Fairy World so no one can have it. I feel like our crafty Magicians are going to find a way to get it though, probably by integrating fairies back onto Earth or Fillory-at-large. What's for sure is that this side quest has muddied the morality waters when it comes to the fairy species. Rather than being cut-and-dry baddies, they are victims of greedy humans and they just want to find a home of their own. I foresee a tentative truce with the reinstated rulers of Fillory in our future. Also many Margo scowls. 

Gah so much happened in this episode (as in all episodes) but there was one more important thing! Penny has been sulkily shelving away down in the Underworld library (I guess Kady has gone to look for him tho? She was conspicuously absent from these two eps) and attempting to find a way out. He does con a dead guy into giving him his Metro Card to the pig that takes you out of the Underworld and presumably to Heaven or Hell (what even IS The Magicians), but before he can use it he is pulled aside for a come to Jesus talk by Hades! Hades is the second Greek/Roman inspired god we have met this season (the first being Bacchus), and he is here to keep it real with Penny. He essentially tells Penny that if Penny stays in the Underworld, he will have a much more glorious destiny than if he returns to his sucky friends on the surface. Penny seems to take this advice to heart as he joins the local Library book club, and dessert-fancier group. As the season has gone on, and Julia's powers have ramped up, the mention of gods, the god-touched, and the appearance of gods themselves has been steadily increasing. I feel like in the quest for magic, Hades will not be the last mythological face we see.

OKAY NEXT EPISODE. IF YOU WERE SKIPPING 3x10 HERE BEGINNITH 3x11.

A lot of wild stuff went down in 3x10, but 3x11 was another helping of full on Magicians crazy-time. Once again Julia and Josh (of all people) are the central characters, which is refreshing seeing as how they haven't received a lot of lead story time ESPECIALLY not as a couple (Julia/Josh, pick your shipper name). This episode these two new best friends take a journey into the wild unknown, aka the 23rd Magicians timeline! In season one it was established that there are (at least) 40 timelines in the world of the show (due to a time loop created by...too boring, you remember). This is both insane and totally genius as it is a built in way for the show to bounce into a completely new world, with alternate storylines, whenever it wants. Characters can die, hook-up, become werewolves, anything is possible!  As is the case here when 23 Josh (aka Dick Josh) pulls regular Josh and Julia into their timeline. Here, 23's Beast is essentially immortal and powered by a KEY. The J's decide to pull their weight for once and go after the 7th key on their own, consequences be damned!

As we learned from Season 2 when 23 Alice was summoned into timeline 40, 23 is a pretty f'd up universe. Mostly all of our beloved character's have been brutally killed, and the Beast rules unchallenged. However there is one thing that 23 has that’s worth all of these tragedies and that is KACEY ROHL!!!! My beautiful hedge witch queen lives on in timeline 23! She is just as goth, brash, bitchy, and perfect as I remember. Sure she is missing her signature power pony, but I will survive. She has teamed up with Dick Josh (who has Lasik, a cool jacket, and also werewolf herpes) in a last ditch effort to take out the Beast. Julia and Josh also run into in-love-with-Julia Penny, and GHOST MARGO AND ELIOT. Although one of the strengths of the Magicians is the unexpected fun and character building that comes from different pairings (Josh/Julia, Julia/Fen, Quentin/Penny, etc) there is one couple that should and shall never be parted. Even in bloody horrible death this gruesome twosome shall not be struck from each other's side. I loved the ultimate horror of Eliot being responsible for Margo's hideous death, truly scary! Also half-a-face Margo is still absolutely sickening. Cocks indeed.

However the biggest twist in this world is that their Beast is no longer Martin Chatwin, but Quentin! And to be honest, a much, much hotter Quentin. No one else thirsty for soulless Beast!Q? Honestly seeing him cut down Alice mid-whine was...extremely satisfying. But how did this happen? Well in Season 2 after 23 Alice was brought briefly to talk with 40 Q, she became obsessed with seeing her Q again. She even sold her soul in order to bring him back to life, albeit shadeless. Yes shadeless Beast Quentin is a ruthless, violent, killer, but goshdarnit he's a pretty fun time. Julia cleverly defeats him by lending him her shade, and once Q is back in possession of the full gamut of his shame, guilt, anxiety, and depression, it is but a matter of moments before he kills himself. Cheery. Anyway Julia takes the key and uses it to return her and Josh to their own timeline. But on top of their return 23 Penny and Marina ALSO go through to timeline 40. Historically in fiction timeline mixing is almost always a terrible idea, but Kacey Rohl back in our lives is worth the risk. Also we are entering a sort of Midsummer Night's Dream world here where there are two Penny's, one who is alive and loves Julia, and one who is dead-ish and loves Kady. Cray!

Misc thoughts from the episode:

I am really not getting the Dean Fogg storyline, it kind of feels like they don't know what to do with this character anymore. He's not even a comic relief as his addiction storylines feel more sad than wry. If there is nothing else to be done with this character, I think time to let him loose.

Also what is the 'Quickening'? 23 Josh had become a dick and isolated himself because he was in fear of the 'Quickening' which would kill all those around him. I assumed he was referring to turning into a werewolf (via the herpes), but it seems like this is something that could happen to regular Josh too? I kept up with a LOT this episode, but this aspect escaped me. If you have a clearer understanding, holla at cha girl.

Only two more episodes and ONE more unattainable fairy key to go!

In Kacey Rohl we trust, MD

[morphenomenalbabe]

The @writingfeedbacknetwork​ challenged us to make a post of seven recommendations of a favorite trope, and honestly for a good several days I have not been able to figure out what my favorite trope is. So I asked my wife and they were like “duh soulmates” and I was like “oh yeah lmao,” so here you go!!!

-

Where we can talk like there's something to say by PerfumedWithObsession (Spiderman: Homecoming, G, Peter Parker/Michelle Jones)

This series is absolutely incredible! Each work is a different type of soulmate AU, some of which I’ve literally never seen any where else. PerfumedWithObsession is incredibly creative and these works really showcase that.

polychromatic by hikaie (Scooby Doo, G, Daphne Blake/Velma Dinkley/Fred Jones/Norville "Shaggy" Rogers)

One of my favorite soulmate tropes is the “everything is black and white until you see your soulmate,” and this trope fits perfectly with the bold and bright colors that the gang is so associated with. Each of the characters fits perfectly with canon while also reaching new depths, and honest to god, I love this story. It’s beautiful from start to finish. Also Scoob starts out as a puppy in this and if that doesn’t make you die of cute I don’t know what will.

Samwell Soulmates by There_Once_Was_A_Girl (Check Please!, T-M, various pairings)

This is another series but one that exists all in the same universe. What I really like about this is how each pair has a unique flavor of soulmate bond that fits them perfectly. I like how creative and different each bond is. I also really like that each part of the series can be read on its own or as part of the whole, and it would be equally enjoyable both ways!

More under the cut!

it must have been that something lovers call 'fate' by dragonyfox (Star Wars: Rogue One, T, Bodhi Rook/Jyn Erso/Cassian Andor)

So this is absolutely a favorite ship, and I love how this series keeps in line with canon (with an obvious divergence) and stays so true to each character and how I really would picture their relationship playing out! My favorite part is probably when Chirrut physically pushes them together and cites the force; without Chirrut shenanigans, is it really a Rogue One fanfiction?

ankle and petrol, the gruesome twosome by ellipsesificate (Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, T, Farkas Bulkmeier/Eugene Skullovitch)

This story somehow manages to capture how dorky and goofy Bulk and Skull are while also just being incredibly beautiful prose. I highly recommend this story even if you don’t ship the two of them. Honestly, this story is what ended up convincing me to ship them and there’s no going back now! It’s also just an incredibly sweet story that also includes the friends-to-lovers trope, if that’s your jam!

Something Like Fate by furyofthetimelords (Shadowhunters (TV), G, Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood)

I like that this kind of leads toward canon events while still being very distinctly it's own. This honestly left me daydreaming about how wonderful of a couple Clary and Izzy are. Many soulmate fics deal with relationship negotiations, which I love, and I really appreciate how carefully the two of them worked theirs out in this, and the implication that they’re going to continue to discuss it.

Solace In Your Silence by k_rizzle1921 (Power Rangers (2017), T, Kimberly Hart/Trini)

The only thing I love more than soulmate fics are soulmate fics with angst. What’s better than a story where the character doesn’t believe anyone would want them as a soulmate even though by definition they are essentially perfect for their soulmate??? That’s my shiiiiiit! But honestly, this is so cute and perfect. It diverges from canon just slightly and it’s really fucking cute.

[coleymari-blog]

Life Changing

Second Submission for @nalu-week 2017 Bonus Round: Gothic 

London, 1773

Miss Lucy Heartfilia, daughter of a wealthy businessman, hurried down a back alley as the sounds of night-veiled London echoed off in the distance. Carriages coming and going, drunks laughing outside of the pubs, all reminders of how much trouble was awaiting her at home.

Around Midday she had been allowed to walk unaccompanied to the bookshoppe on the corner, about a mile from her family’s estate. Normally she never traveled anywhere without her Valet, Virgo, but due to her busy schedule, Lucy was permitted to go alone. She had finished the three books she bought over the past week and desperately needed more of she was to sit through another weekend of meeting potential suitors.

Coming around the corner, the blonde debutante found herself staring down a solid brick wall. Perhaps she should have paid more attention when Virgo had attempted to teach her the path home. Where had she gone wrong? She had left the shoppe, cut behind it and made her way passed the Bakery and the Florist. Had she gone down the wrong street when she found the Abbey? It was well into the early evening and she had no business being out on her own, which made her fear the other possible repercussions; the ones that were far worse than a scolding from her absent father.

The sound of a glass bottle skittering across the pavement quickly grabbed Lucy’s undivided attention. Her heart began to race in her chest, the corseted bodice of her gown only further hindering her breathing. She was as good as trapped, like prey backed into a corner.

“W-who’s there?!” she demanded, summoning as much of her opulent upbringing to make her voice less shaky. Her confidence was only met with multiple snickers.

“Pretty girls shouldn’t be out this late without a proper escort, Missy,” one of the drunks slurred, another slightly shorter body appearing behind him. The odds of Lucy being able to defend herself against one attacker were low, but two? Her stomach began to churn over the possibilities. Unluckily for her, the other half of the gruesome twosome was caging her in from the other side, effectively trapping her between two assailants and the wall.

“We should take her home, Kurohebi,” said the shorter man, a menacing grimace creeping to his lips.  His compatriot laughed as he reached out, twirling strands of Lucy’s golden hair around his lithe finger.

“Your right, Nullpudding,” the raven-haired man sneered, “Too bad we don’t know where she lives. Guess we’ll just have to take her back to our house.”

As they both went to grab Lucy’s arms, she belted out a deafening scream and her attack was over before it even began. Everything happened before her eyes, but it all happened so quickly that she was unsure of what was really going on. In what felt like an instant, both attackers were pushed away from her, a flash of pink the first thing to catch Lucy’s eye. Kurohebi and Nullpudding stumbled backward, only to find a mysterious figure standing between them and their prey.

“You really shouldn’t harass beautiful young women,” said the man, grinning victoriously. His eyes were oynx, hair as vivid as salmon and clothes fit for the upper echelon of society. What really caught Lucy’s attention were his pointed fangs...

The two men tried to get retribution on the random stranger that had intervened but they were quickly dealt with, both of them soon taking off down the alley as fast as their legs could carry them. Everything inside Lucy told her that she should be doing the same, but there was the tiniest voice in the back of her mind that kept her planted right where she stood. Surprisingly she wasn’t afraid of the Good Samaritan or his demonic smile.

“Are you alright, Miss?” he asked, his voice filled with concern. Lucy blushed quietly with such attention, hoping the darkness of the alleyway would keep her secret.

“I’m fine,” she answered softly, “Thanks to you.” Holding out her hand, palm down, she smiled warmly. “It’s only fair that you tell me your name so I can thank you properly Mr...?” she left her words hanging in the London mist as she waited for him to answer.

With a smile equally as bright, the man bowed slightly, taking her by the hand, and gently pressing his lips against her soft skin. “Natsu Dragneel, at your service,” he teased, picking himself back up again and gazing at her with something Lucy couldn’t place. Before she could figure it out, Natsu was guiding her back to the street. With a grin and a politely extended arm,  he sidled up to Lucy. “Would you allow me the pleasure of walking you home?

A month soon passed. Lucy had endured multiple potential suitors at her father’s command. Eventually he’d given up in her ability to choose one for herself and had settled on a wealthy man from the neighboring province. It was her last night in her family’s estate and she was crying among her packed belongings.

What made matters worse was the fact that Natsu had failed to meet her. After he walked her home, he’d made a habit of escorting her every time she was allowed out. Honestly she had come to enjoy his company in more than a friendly companion manner, but what was she to do? She was promised to another man and Natsu was...immortal.

She vividly remembered the night he’d explained everything to her. They had sat in her family’s garden for hours after walking home from Church as he told her about his life, and his life before ‘the change’. He had been a sailor, traveling the world and going on all sorts of adventures. The hardest part to believe was that it was almost three hundred years prior to their current day. One day, in a port town known for the occult, he’d been bitten by another vampyre named Igneel, and Natsu considered it to be his greatest adventure yet. After Igneel was killed, however, Natsu went about the rest of his days alone. Until he met Lucy, that is.

While she used her lace handkerchief to brush away her tears, the blonde heard a light tapping on her window. Confusion and curiosity led her to the sill, only for ‘shock’ to take their place.

“Natsu!” Lucy chastised, wrapping her night robe tighter around her shivering form. “How did you get up onto the terrace? And do you know what time it is?!”

All Natsu did was chuckle, casually walking toward Lucy before guiding them both back into the comfort of her bedroom suite. “I promised I would be here, didn’t I?” came the same cocky tone that Lucy had grown to love. He looked around the room, taking in the sight of her entire life packed away into train cases.

“Are you really leaving?” he asked, his voice softer than normal. It concerned Lucy more than she cared to admit, causing her to close the space between them and sit on one of the cases closest to here he was standing.

“Unfortunately,” she replied, woe and sadness oozing from just one word. “I’ve been given to Dan Straight, of the Liverpool Straights.” She huffed. “Apparently my prison sentence, I mean, marriage, will stand to make my father quite a bit of money. Plus he offered a substantial dowry so...” she trailed off, feeling the heartbreak silence her.

Natsu’s immediate presence quieted her for another reason. His eyes were fixed on her, filled with something that resembled ‘fear’. She was about to speak again before he cut her off.

“You don’t have to go, Luce,” he murmured, “Stay with me. We’ll go somewhere else. Maybe we can find a boat to the New America’s? Your father would never find us there.”

Lucy’s jaw fell open in a very unladylike fashion. Run away with Natsu? Leave behind everything she had ever known the night before she was supposed to be shipped off to her waiting husband? The longer she thought it over, the more obvious the answer became,  under one condition.

“Turn me and I will,” Lucy said confidently. If she was running off into the sunset with Prince Charming, she was going to make sure the fairytale lasted forever. “Make me like you and I’ll leave with you tonight.”

If it was possible, Natsu looked paler than he usually did. “Y-y-you want to be like m-me?” he stammered, wringing his hands slightly. He brushed her hair back lovingly, exposing the side of her neck. They sat together in perfect silence for what seemed like an eternity before Natsu wordlessly agreed. Nodding before gently pressing his lips against hers, he whispered softly against them. “Had to do that before I took your life”

New York City, 1830

Fifty-seven years went by like no time at all. The eternal twenty-year-olds had settled in their new life in the United States. Lucy’s father was long gone, no one chasing after them for at least two decades. Their ‘diet’ consisted of animals mostly, indulging in a heinous criminal or two occasionally. The best part of Lucy Dragneel’s new life? She had her best friend and lover by her side until the end of days, and there was no doubt that ‘being alive’ was simply a state of mind.

[meralee727]

Dear Rob, Glenn and Charlie,

I am writing this very professional pitch in hopes of being part of the writing staff for season 14 of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. No idea if you’ve thought about next season yet but seeing as I have done extensive Sunny research, I have some ideas and also feelings.

Here is my one ask for season 14. The one thing I beg of you not to do:

Please do not press the reset button

Pressing the reset button has become an expected plot device within Sunny universe. In the thirteenth season alone, Dee falls off the side of a building and Charlie gets his leg caught in a bear trap and neither one dies. Mac and Charlie severely beat up children to such a degree that there was a possibility that one died and there were no consequences. Sunny does take place in an alternate universe where we’ve come to expect that things like logic and prison time will simply have no place in the Sunny world.

And that’s fine.

But that being said…

I beg of you to please, please step away from the button.

I don’t have to explain what happened in the finale. You were there and Rob, I hope you treated yourself to a box of doughnuts when it was all over. A box of doughnuts that you did not share with your wife and sons. It was powerful, beautiful and perfect from top to bottom. The risk that it took to go against what everyone expected from a Sunny episode just to simply let the struggling  and lost know that it’s okay was extraordinary and for that reason, the reset button is not an option.

At least not for the first episode of season 14.

You ended on a peak of sorts and to leap all the way back to the bottom and kick off the fourteenth season doing an episode where the gang does something like solves the North Korea gas crisis would be doing a disservice to Mac finding his pride. That dance, that moment was so spectacular that pretending it never happened in season 14 just sounds disrespectful to Mac.

If I can, I would love to give my pitch for season 14.

Here it goes:

Instead of an episode where the gang spoofs a movie or does their take on a social/political issue, maybe the first episode of the fourteenth season can kick off with the gang finding Mac’s pride?

Go with me on this….

We can open on Frank and Mac coming back to the bar after having left the prison. Mac tells Frank  not to tell Charlie, Dee and Dennis about his dance.

Frank, being Frank, has already forgotten the dance ever happened  in the first place.

Despite this, Frank begins to take on a fatherly, almost protective role with Mac.

Almost.

Of course I mean Frank’s version of fatherly. The man’s not Danny Tanner. Maybe it should be “fatherly” not fatherly.  Frank begins to treat Mac how he treats Charlie. Maybe Frank invites Mac to play Nightcrawlers with him and Charlie or brings Mac boiled denim so he can change out of his wet jeans? This could cause Charlie to get jealous and as seen in episodes like The Gang Tends Bar, Charlie doesn’t handle jealousy well.

Maybe at this pride parade, Mac meets a guy? A nice guy. A guy who actually likes Mac which I think would especially throw Dennis for a loop. Someone who actually treats Mac with respect. Someone who will take Mac’s attention away from Dennis. Oh and what if this guy has an actual blackbelt in karate?

While Charlie is jealous of how Frank is being towards Mac, Dennis’ neediness starts to emerge as Mac starts spending time with Karate Man. Remembering what happened when Mac and Dennis broke up, Dennis starts to rely too heavily on Dee again.

Dee and Charlie ultimately team up to restore order to the gang. A gang as codependent as this one descends into chaos when the roles change. Frank and Mac coming together throws everything off balance. Charlie needs Frank relying on him just as much as Dennis needs Mac. With this gone, Dee will most likely get more of everyone’s abuse as Dennis and Charlie start losing control. So order needs to be restored so everything can be back to normal or whatever is considered normal for the gang.

Of course, Mac, being Mac, ultimately ends up destroying the relationship with Karate Man. Maybe Karate Man suggests that Mac take karate lessons? Mac’s delusions about his sexuality may be gone but his delusions about his ability to do karate are still alive and well.  I could not see Mac reacting well to someone telling him he should take a beginning karate class and actually trying to teach him some moves. Mac being taught contemporary dance is one thing….but karate?  Well, that’s another story.

These characters are all so severely broken and damaged anyway that while Dee and Charlie could work to sabotage the relationship, Mac will ultimately destroy the relationship on his own just by being Mac.

Now, maybe the ending could take place between Mac and Dennis?

Last season, there seemed to be a shift in the Dennis and Mac relationship. Dennis seemed annoyed by Mac though I’m not sure that was the intent. There was also the mystery as to what might have happened to Dennis? I liked the idea that you had briefly mentioned in The Gang Makes Paddy’s Great Again where the joke was that Dennis had given Mac the number to a mental health clinic. Given how Dennis was able to put together an entire sexual harassment seminar for the sole purpose of calling out the gang, this almost seems plausible that Dennis would have concocted this huge scheme so he could leave  town and perhaps check into a mental health facility?

I feel like there’s some sort of fight  or show down of sorts coming with regard to Mac and Dennis. Maybe when Mac comes back to the apartment after things end with Karate Man, Mac tries at first to tell Dennis what happened but instead Dennis goes off on one of his signature  rants. Maybe in this rant, where he goes off on all of the things Mac does that annoy him and how that affects him, he inadvertently reveals where he was when he left the gang. Mac watches in silence and when Dennis is done, Mac approaches him, punches him in the face and says, “you left me, asshole” before turning and walking out of the apartment.

I like the idea of Mac fighting back.  Mac found his confidence at the end of the thirteenth season. He found his strength. He found the ability to stand up for himself. So maybe the idea of simply punching someone in the face and leaving is enough?

The end of the episode could take place at the bar? Dee, Charlie, Frank and Mac are there downing shots of whiskey. Charlie and Frank are back as the gruesome twosome talking about a large sewer rat while Dee and Mac offer their own opinions when Dennis walks in. Dee asks what happened to his face, Dennis responds by insulting her instead and conversation turns back to sewer rats which leads to a scheme. Mac pours him a shot, Dennis thanks him, maybe pats Mac on the back. The episode ends with the five drinking at the bar planning their next scam.

Then episode two could be, I don’t know, The Gang Takes on Sliding Doors or The Gang Fixes the Border Crisis.

So how’s that?

See, I think setting the reset button will cause fandom whiplash. Right now, to paraphrase Dennis, season 13 ended with you guys as the proverbial kings of the mountaintop. To get down from top of the mountain, you don’t just jump and hope you land safely but instead you move yourself slowly back down to the ground. Back down to the world of schemes and where actions really have no consequences.

So that’s my pitch. I’d love to hear back from you regarding your thoughts.

Sincerely,

Meredith

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9859077an) Rob McElhenney, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Charlie Day Glenn Howerton, Jill Latiano. Rob McElhenney, from left, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Charlie Day Glenn Howerton and Jill Latiano attend the LA Premiere of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” Season 13 at the Regency Bruin Theatre, in Los Angeles LA Premiere of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” Season 13, Los Angeles, USA – 04 Sep 2018

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA — “Dee Made a Smut Film” — Episode 1104 (Airs Wednesday, January 27, 10:00 pm e/p) Pictured: (l-r) Rob McElhenney as Mac, Danny DeVito as Frank, Glenn Howerton as Dennis, Kaitlin Olson as Dee, Charlie Day as Charlie. CR: Patrick McElhenney/FX

  Season 14: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Pitch Dear Rob, Glenn and Charlie, I am writing this very professional pitch in hopes of being part of the writing staff for season 14 of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

[abitterlifethroughcinema]

Three Movies You Should Have Watched by NOW! WOKE! Film Reviews               by Lucas A Cavazos

Bohemian Rhapsody ###…or How I learned to execute the perfect imitation! Rami Malek has come to fame over the last half-decade as star of the wonderfully inventive series Mr. Robot. And with this big budget effort recounting the life of Freddie Mercury, his star is sure to only increase. Here’s the thing…Bohemian Rhapsody is an entertaining retrospective on a rock legend that is easily, and at once, fun yet terrible at the same time. It is only the hardest of music biopic snobs (is there really such a thing? God, I hope not!) that would abhor the film for its musical touches and merit, as every song heard from Mercury IS Mercury, but any film critic who finds the film a bit MEH! could also be understood, and here’s why. The superficiality and then-this-happened factuality in the film plays well for the cinema goer, and by adding the tense if fun interpretations of the actors playing Queen’s main band members, it’s easy to digest this palatable fluff. Now, director Bryan Singer (yes, The X-Men guy) is not someone I like to spend too much time speaking about, as his allegations of male-on-male sexual abuse/harassment are too numerous to deny, but like any on-the-fly, all too knowing director, here is where the film fails. It is a complete, painting-by-numbers piece of celluloid that establishes and follows Mercury from his younger days living between his Parsi family while also dealing with the call of 1970 London’s city streets…fine. But what comes across as forced is the last half of the film, after the first half has languidly dripped by with details stuffed all over the place. As this is the piece Singer made after all the hidden brouhaha of his personal life came to, well if not light, to a flicker, as well as, his stepping away from the X-Men franchise so as to not taint its name, it would make sense that this movie be high in theatrics and lower on content quality. When detailing the highs and lows of a musical great, a certain touch is necessary. Singer does not have it, and the film displays that in full. When we’ve had fare that deals with sticky situations in musical biopics like Ray or Sid&Nancy or What’s Love Got to Do With It, the semblance of reality just oozes through the script and screen. Sorry, dears, you’re not going to find it here. Like a day eating cotton candy and chocolate, it’s fun and usually implies a day-out but you can’t live off it, Lawd knows.

BlacKKKlansman ####

This is my first time critiquing a Spike Lee Joint. Let’s get started. This is, without a doubt, his finest work in all too many years, and he takes no prisoners in letting you know that the spilled essence of blaxploitation all over this celluloid is to egg you into knowing that this story is 100% true…and crazy as all hell. The mere fact that David Duke is literally cheerleading for the current President of the United States should scare us all and wake those who are not. Watching actor John David Washington portray Ron Stallworth, the real-life cop who slyly infiltrated the inner workings of the Klu Klux Klan 40 years ago when I was in my mummy’s tummy. After signing up for the Colorado Spring PD, he realises the lack of trust in the 98% Anglo-Saxon workforce, as he’s thrown into monitoring the goings-on of any Black Panther student situations. Eventually, he takes up with a guy on the force that he can dig called Flip and played to skilled excellence by the oddest of lookers Adam Driver, aka Han Solo’s son. Basically, the plot follows the twosome, as they tag team the aforementioned white supremacist movement, Ron being the voice and Flip being the wingman as they start an investigation on grand wizard bastard himself David Duke, played to troubling perfection by Topher Grace, evoking all of the calmness and utter sociopathic tendencies of a man reviled by most yet revered by still too many. And watching this taut film and how it rolls through such a daunting story with comedic aplomb and vicious realness gives you goosebumps. That said, as the film gets toward its ending, is when Lee gives you the goods when he flashes to scenes from the crazy Charlottesville, Virginia, riots, AntiFa protesting and subsequent death of Heather Heyer, may she rest in peace. These last moments are the ones that touch the reality of the situation and hit the hardest on the soul, revealing that even despite “advancements,” racism is alive and flaring like never before in modern history. God Save the World...and Amerikkka.

Overlord ###-1/2

Premiering at this year’s Sitges Int’l Film Fest, Overlord just happened to be one of the fave films that I screened, and from its get-go, we were besieged by prods of the ’You-Have to-Love-This’ variety. Before the film began, producer J.J. Abrams came on by video to greet the viewers in the audience and let them know that everything that they were about to see was based on history. This, of course, piqued the history major and scribe within, so out came my note pad, and so did the film. It starts with an insane aerial combat mission on the night of D-Day, one which goes awry and sees only a handful of paratroopers surviving the drop when enemy fire rains hell. Where they land is anyone’s guess but provincial France is where it ends up being, and after the intense opening that we undergo, that is only the commencement of some exciting, graphic, and all-too-contrived-from-reality mayhem that hooks you the viewer, at once. The plot is to detail some of the inner workings of the Third Reich in reference to the insane, gruesome experiments done on captured Jews and Europeans. Those stories you’ve heard about turning these poor people into guinea pigs for super soldier intent using potent, injected serums…yeah, those? They’re true. Are they as utterly brutal and horror/zombie film-like as displayed here? I sure as hell hope not. This is the perfect horror/war picture for fans of history, gore and the macabre mixing together like oil, vinegar and dijon. Mmmm…delish!