#grrm interconnected them to each other so well :’)

[addamvelaryon]

When you stand in front of me and look at me, what do you know of the griefs that are in me and what do I know of yours?

— Franz Kafka

Corlys, Addam & Laenor by Imperiat

[alinaastarkov]

I've read a few Jonsa meta, with a focus on trying to figure out how they interpret Jon barely thinking about Sansa throughout the books. One of the most common theories is that Jon chooses not to think of Sansa because he has uncomfortably romantic feelings about her. It struck me how interconnected Jon being in love with Sansa is with Sansa being an angel. Jonsa stans won't admit that Sansa, who never let Jon forget the difference between them, who corrected Arya when she called him brother,

Jonsa Meta Continued, didn't bring Jon many happy memories. She 'only' called Jon 'half-brother', drawing a clear line between them. The others; such as Robb calling him a bastard, sometimes drew that line as well, but Jon had strong bonds with them that outweighed the painful moments. He was a beloved brother to them first of all. With Sansa, Jon was only ever the bastard. Jon rarely thinks of Sansa, because his memories of her are rarely happy, because Sansa never let Jon forget his birth.

This is the thing. They take the idea of jonsa endgame and work backwards from that, so to them everything is foreshadowing even when it’s not. It’s insane. So them not thinking of each other is suddenly a “clever trick” to hide their “relationship” and not the realistic result of not being close and actually kind of disliking each other. It’s “too painful” for Jon to think about and he needs to “hide his immoral feelings for Sansa” despite the fact that he often thinks of naked women in relation to Arya, does not shy away from the painful feelings he has about his favourite siblings and GRRM has said that “everything the characters say/think/do is supposed to say something to the reader”, so the absence of thought/words/action is really all you need to know about their actual relationship. There’s nothing hidden because there is nothing to hide. They did not like each other. Period. For Jonsas, they ignore Sansa’s flaws when they say Jon has always had a crush on her because otherwise this crush doesn’t make sense. And as you say, Sansa doesn’t just call him ‘half-brother’, she corrects other people when he’s not around. I don’t care if they think he needs emotional distance to make the leap from brother to husband, I would not want to marry someone who looked down on me my whole life. That is not the basis for a loving relationship.