#growth isn’t dependant on a particular time and can take place whenever
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i think i’m extra nervous for this upcoming year. usually i’m just meh about the new year, but i foresee that im gonna have to make some pretty big decisions and take major steps in my life from this year moving forward and it’s scary im not gonna lie
#it’s basically just me transitioning a bit more into adulthood#last year i believe i was able to experience a lot of personal growth#especially in a short space of time#which honestly i didn’t even think would happen but it just did#i really hope that this year i can work on my weaknesses though and start becoming the person i truly want to be both mentally#and physically#i wish everyone a happy new year and even if no one has any resolutions thus far (i for sure don’t)#growth isn’t dependant on a particular time and can take place whenever#so don’t feel obligated to have everything planned out at the beginning of the year#ofc that’s no knocking anyone who has theirs planned out#anyways i wish everyone good health prosperity success and happiness in all aspects of their lives#j.txt
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Mastering Forex Trading: An Opportunity to be Financially Independent
Trading has become very dynamic, and therefore many people hunt for a way that would enable them to earn more money while at the same time be financially independent. Trading in the forex market has gained popularity with traders as a way to take advantage of the change in prices within the currency markets. If you are a new forex trader like myself who have dabbled into the world of trading the foreign exchange market you quickly realize that while it has a lot of potential, it also requires a good amount of understanding and proper guidelines to follow.
Why Forex Trading?
The foreign exchange market or forex for short is the largest and most volatile market in world containing more than $6 trillion of transaction every single day. Differently from other markets such as the stock market, forex is an around the clock, five days a week market, which means that the trader can trade anytime they wish depending on their time table. Due to being available 24 hours a day, forex is especially appealing to many individuals in their attempt to combine other occupations with this type of trading.
Besides, forex trading is characterized by high leverage which means that individual traders can control big positions using small amounts of cash. This helps drive up profits, profits which can also be associated with risk, that makes it requiring that traders educate themselves on the market before they start trading.
Principles on How to Succeed in Forex Market
Understanding the Market: Forex trading can be stated to refer to the process of exchanging one currency for the other in an effort to benefit from volatility in currency. They are used in trading and one has to understand how event drives, economic policies, and even interest rates affect these values trade. Of course, maintaining adequate information about the planning activities is also critical to this process.
Risk Management: Trading isn’t about making good trades; it is about avoiding bad ones. Forex is risky, so one or two trades, depending on when they were entered with improper risk management systems can bring an account to a shut down. Some of the basic practices that should be employed in trading include placing stop-loss orders, position sizing andhaving proper discipline in trading.
Technical and Fundamental Analysis: There is the technical analysis that entails charting, trends, and shapes of prices which are used in identifying the future price direction. Contrary to fundamental analysis which is based on the given task of understanding how news and other economic factors affect currencies. This way, using both approaches will provide you with a good insight of the market.
Choosing the Right Trading Times: Forex trading can only be done effectively during particular times. However, the market hours that show highest potential in its liquidity and volatility are the crossing point between London and New York session. Timing can also be beneficial because it can assist one gain profits in the right movement while losing less during the wrong times.
Staying Emotionally Balanced: One can therefore say that trading is even more of the mind game compared to a skill game. There is always that desire to get excited when you are on the winning side or to get angry when on the losing end. Traders should be able to manage their feelings and remember the techniques which they set as guidelines despite its failures.
The Journey to Consistency
Most new entrant in the forex market join with a belief of making fast cash. Although there are definitely openings for growth, the entrance to the elite club of fortunes making traders is not easily achievable without time, effort and effort. First and foremost, keeping your emotions in check whenever markets go through their customary turbulent periods, following a pre-designed strategy to the letter and constantly building yourself both professionally and personally are invaluable parts of an overall winning process.
No trader will succeed 100% of the time, but these are lessons which have to be learned from and not failures. Through such analysis, you get to know what measures was effective and which weren’t thus being in a position to adjust your strategies and slowly build up on the most effective measures towards becoming a professional trader.
Are you planning to embark on Forex journey?
For the Forex trading beginner who is looking for a starting point, an initial step is to establish proper ground work. To be to ready to capitalize on market opportunity, it is important to learn one or two things that could help prevent the frequent mistakes that affect new traders.
That is why I invite you to ORION Wealth Academy, where you will get the most important information about forex: What is forex and why it is so important in the financial world what time is better for trading — in the morning, during the day, or at night? With the professional direction provided, one will be in a right position to begin a trading path fearlessly.
Don’t wait another minute and learn what you need to know about trading in the forex market today!
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Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #12
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Suit Story
If you went through Ginza’s Main Street from 7-chome to 1-chome, the change in the city’s atmosphere would shock you. Bulgari, Cartier, Louis Vuitton, Chanel. Felt like you could play shiritori with these high-class brand names. It was a fun neighborhood to stroll around during Christmas season, as all the stores would come up with elaborate plans for the decorative lights, but it was currently autumn. The store most closely related to me in these vicinities was the long-established stationery store where I went to buy stationery. It was, however...
“Please raise your arms a little more.”
“All right.”
“Pull your chin back a bit. Yeah, that’s great.”
“Haah. Is this really right?”
“Of course. Might be hard, but please do relax.”
For whatever reason, I was across the street from the stationery store, practically in front of it, on the second floor of a branded men’s fashion store originally from England. On the walls of this mysterious-gentleman-themed space, which housed a bar counter and even a huge aquarium, there were clusters of business suits, pants and waistcoats with basting threads attached to them in conspicuous spots.
It was a place for taking measurements for custom-made stuff.
I couldn’t get over the feeling that this was some kind of mistake. Wasn’t this the stationery store? The place where you could buy vanilla-colored envelopes for 30 yen each? Or illustrated writing paper with seasonal vibes, or pens.
“Seigi, you are too nervous.”
“Nakata-san is such an imp, but so are you.”
Leaning against the bar counter, Richard shrugged his shoulders, indicating possibility.
Today was Thursday. Having been called by Richard, who said he wanted to ask me to do some odd job, I went over to the front of Etranger, and then we came to this store in the green jaguar. Just when I thought he was gonna make me hang with him for shopping, the man on the driver seat hastily took out his phone, showing me a video letter from my dad, Nakata-san.
“Seigi, congrats on your graduation. I wanted to go suit shopping with you, but I’m in Jakarta, so I’ll be borrowing Richard-san’s assistance for that. Seems like people are getting them custom-made lately. Make sure to buy a good one. Well, see ya.”
Richard had watched over me in the passenger seat as my eyes got wet, but the tears drew back in when we stepped into the store.
While talking lightheartedly about the difference between English and Italian suits, the young clerk, who wasn’t all too apart from me in age, smoothly took my body measurements with a measuring tape and showed me countless textures.
“You can also choose the lining. What should we do about the pockets?”
When I started getting dizzy, said man, who was like a page of suits, began giving me suggestions from behind. I had nowhere to run. I was really going to have my suit made here. As I picked a charcoal-gray suit with blue lining, Richard quickly told me that tanzanite cuffs would look very nice in it. Of course, I was thinking the exact same thing.
By the moment that the Onii-san finished the measuring and disappeared into the back of the store to take notes, I heaved a deep sigh. “This kinda stuff’s been happening a lot lately. All I ever do is receive.”
When I said that, Richard laughed, giggles ringing up his throat.
Richard had two types of smiles, and whenever he raised his voice while laughing, if I refused to back down, he’d often give me a word of advice of some sort. When it was a silent smile, I’d feel like he was telling me in some way to “reflect about myself”, which would make me a bit anxious, but I liked both.
Walking up next to me as I stood in front of the mirror, Richard grinned. “It is no longer guaranteed that your body will grow out of your clothes. Isn’t it fun to sometimes purchase slightly larger clothes and try to wait for your body’s growth?”
“Feeling like this talk doesn’t have the ‘sleep well and drink milk’ kinda nuance to it.”
The reply was a smile. How strange. Richard’s face was right at my left side, but the smile in the mirror was looking directly at me. Clad in a double-button slender silhouette suit, his figure was perfect no matter from what angle I looked at it, like an extraordinarily fine jewel, so my own figure as I tensed up beside him appeared even weirder.
“Hey, Richard, I kinda have the feeling that suits are like the base metals of jewelry.”
“Are you referring to the foundation parts of rings, earrings and such?”
I nodded. The base metal was the metal part that formed the foundation for attaching gemstones to jewelry. In stores, people would often memorize the materials and call them by their names, such as gold base metal or platinum base metal.
It was a part that never played the leading role in Etranger, which handled accessories with gemstones on them. But it’d be hard to wear jewelry on the body without it, and it was also a part that allowed people to express their particularities regarding the materials, durability and design. Whether they would be prominent or not depended on the basis. Erm, this was probably what a jeweler from Kyoto that I was acquainted with would say. The contrary was also possible.
“Gotta psyche myself up. If I don’t become someone that won’t lose to this suit, I’d feel bad.”
“This is my personal opinion, but there is nothing more tiring to look at than a jewelry in which the gem and base metal are at rivalry with one another. What you should emphasize is the harmony. Just because you use the finest high-grade eggs and milk as ingredients, it does not mean you will create the best pudding – is that not the same thing?”
“Ah...”
When I replied that, indeed, high-end ingredients were often strongly in demand, the beautiful man nodded with an “exactly as you say”. By the looks of it, those were the sweets that he was into lately. I hadn’t been able to take time some for it at all due to being busy, but I decided to make pudding again one of these days and offer to him. Despite having a wallet that enabled him to eat as many high-grade desserts as he wanted, Richard would always be delighted anew no matter how many of them I made, which made me believe that, as one would expect, he had a talent for pleasing people. I was grateful for his existence.
“Both suits and jewelry are goods that exist for the sake of their owners. The initiative is clear from the start. You must handling it skillful and comfortably, not fight against it. That is why it is custom-made.”
“So you’re also ‘skillfully handling’ the clothes you’re wearing right now?”
“Evidently. Enough that I do not know anymore at what point it ends and I begin.” With that said, Richard sleekly patted his suit. I wanted to try saying that too someday.
We exchanged glances not through the mirror but directly.
When the clerk Onii-san came back, the measuring recommenced. I got kind of embarrassed as he praised me, saying I was well-relaxed.
“Seigi-kun, good work! Wow, that suit looks really great on you.”
“Thanks, Tanimoto-san. Uh, this print on your furisode, could it be—”
“I was told it’s a modern type of print, but yep, it’s kinda like...”
“It looks like a bismuth crystal!”
With a face that said, “I know, right”, a dandy crease formed under her eyes, which were just a bit more on-the-mark than usual. Her bob-cut hair was the same as always, her cream-colored hakama paired with a yellow-green and dark blue furisode, which bore a mysterious geometric pattern print. On top of being cute, it was unique. She said it was rented, but I got emotional upon finding out there was a furisode that was so much like her.
As for me, I was wearing a double-button English suit that fit my body extremely well. It was a little embarrassing, but the creatures called college boys were more or less the same kind of individuals as myself, so they weren’t too mindful of their male friends’ clothes. Only one of them, who had found employment in the apparel industry, said that “the suit Nakata’s wearing is so nice”.
It was the graduation ceremony of Kasaba University. We gathered in the excessively large auditorium for all but an instant, and once we had our diplomas in hand, it was the beginning of a rapid shooting party, where we took pictures with our preferred friends in spaces near the auditorium. Tanimoto-san came running over to the spot near the central library, where we had decided to meet up.
“Seigi-kun, really, congrats. Things might get hard from now on, but if it’s you, everything will definitely be okay.”
“Thank you. I’ll do my best. I don’t think I’m that big of a deal, though...”
“That’s not true. I know very well how awesome you are.”
I played around a little and bowed my head, also congratulating Tanimoto-san for her graduation, she laughed with a “huhuhu”, looking happy.
She had passed in teaching and she would officially be a middle school science teacher starting this April. She fulfilled the dream that she had told me about when we were in our second year of undergrad. So cool. She had laughed when I said I wanted to take her classes if it were ever possible, but now I knew her video communication address, so it might be that I could actually get to attend her lectures at least once. Even if I were no longer living in Japan.
“Tanimoto-san, the school you’re assigned to is...”
“In Okayama Prefecture. It’s famous for the Katsuta Group of vicarya fossils. Compared to you, it’s next-door.”
In a few days, my address would change from Japan to Sri Lanka. I was going to be a jeweler apprentice. I had been told that I would often have to move around in rough dress, so sure enough, I was going to dedicate myself to wearing formal stuff for the time being. It was a bit of a waste, but Nakata-san and Richard had probably given me a chance to wear this kind of thing because they knew about that.
I could hear a voice in the distance calling, “Shouko~”. It was apparently a friend of Tanimoto-san’s. She waved at them in response.
“Seigi-kun, y’know... I think I was very lucky to meet you in this university. Literally thank you. Thanks to you, university was always fun.”
“Those are all my lines. But Tanimoto-san, I only ever gave you trouble.”
“If you’re gonna say that, same goes for me. I feel like you’ve granted me many opportunities. Seriously, thank you.”
When she smiled, saying she was going to do her best, she looked really cute. Neither of us had any familiarity with Okayama, but surely, she would actively pave the way with her own strength no matter where she was. And on her days off, she would go out to the Katsuta Group to dig up fossils.
“From now on too, if there’s anything I can help you with, I want you to tell me. I’ll do anything. If you run into any weirdo, I’ll get on a plane and come give them a beating.”
“Me too; if anyone ever messes up with you, Seigi-kun, I’ll take my crack hammer and go finish them off. Look forward to it. Ah, Aki told me that a sniper rifle suits me better, apparently?”
“I-I wonder.”
After that, we talked for a while, seated on an inconspicuous bench, and when it was finally time, she told me to at least take care of my body, offering me her hand. I nodded and squeezed it back. Her hand was small but very strong.
“Take care of your body, at the very least. May the blessings of the stones fall upon you.”
“Thank you. You too.”
We bowed deeply, taking pictures with each other while we were at it, and once we were done with the commemorative photoshoot, in which the two of us kept a moderate distance from one another, we parted ways. Students here and there were hugging intensely and wailing, but neither she nor I were that type, and I didn’t think this would be farewell for a lifetime. We would definitely get to see each other from now on too.
However, this was our last time seeing each other while we were students. After the handshake, my angel waved her hand with a “see you”, even more brightly than an actual angel.
Later on, having finished looking around for the friends that I could call friends and going on a tour to tell them “thank you for everything until now”, lastly, I sent a brief text. Not to Richard. To Nakata-san and Hiromi.
“I was able to graduate from university without problems. Thank you very much, truly. I will be in your care from now on too.”
Rather than a greeting, it turned into a notice to announce my renewed determination. The stylish suit indeed gave off an extraordinary feeling of fittingness, but I couldn’t think I was fully used to it. Obviously. It finished being made just a while ago. It would start from here. If it would take on my shape the more I wore it, then I would make sure to wear it steadily to my own liking.
What mattered was the harmony, he had said.
While smoothly stroking the suit, which I still couldn’t deem as anything other than formal wear, as if I were stroking my favorite gemstone, I seared the contrast of cherry blossom petals against the blue sky into my eyes.
#housekishou richard shi no nazo kantei#housekishou richard#jeweler richard#the case files of jeweler richard#nakata seigi#richard ranashinghe de vulpian#richard ranashinha de vulpian#tanimoto shouko#richard#tsujimura nanako#yukihiro utako#novel#jr short story collection#my translation
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Deciding The Technological Level of Your Setting
When writing a story, it is important to determine what level of technology your characters have access to. That determines what tools or solutions a character may have to solve a problem. It will also influence their hobbies. Before going too far, consider what technology actually is. It’s not all about electric gadgets.
What is Technology?
Technology is knowledge used to solve problems or create useful tools. Phones and computers come immediately to mind, but there are others. Roman aqueducts are an example of ancient technology helping to solve a problem. Knives are another basic example. Medical care is a very important technology.
Basic Factors When Deciding Technological Level
If your story is a fanfiction for another work, research what items wouldn’t look out of place in the setting. Take a look to see what the characters use in the work when completing tasks or performing hobbies. If the work takes place in a certain real year or time period, look up that period’s available items such as radios or printing presses, and head off from there.
Sometimes, the development level isn’t the same for all areas in a work or for all types of technology. This is okay. There are many reasons why this may happen. Some areas are more studied than others. Rural areas take longer than cities to adopt now inventions.
The Legend of Korra is set in an analogue of the 1920′s. Characters drive cars, ride trains, listen to the sport of pro-bending on the radio, and have sepia/black and white photos. But when Korra and her companions visit the Earth Kingdom in season three, it is heavily undeveloped compared to the other settings. It is hinted the Earth Queen’s corruption stimmed its growth.
In Naruto and its sequel series Boruto, they do not have cars, tanks, modern firearms, or many modern style shoes. But, the setting has TVs, refrigerators, wireless radios, batteries, satellites, color photographs, and eventually phones and laptops. They explore the advancement of the setting in several of the Naruto light novels, especially the first one (Kakashi Hiden: Lightning in the Icy Sky). In Kakashi Hiden, it is mentioned that the invention of an airship will cause many people to lose their jobs.
If your work is an original fiction, first decide whether it has its own timeline or is based in the real world. If it takes place in a real world place and time period, please look up what people in that area used. If a particular field of science or theory is more advanced in your work than in that actual time period, determine how it would influence the technology in the story, study in related fields, and the social classes interacting with each other.
Should the tale be based in its own world, you have free reign. How advanced of a setting do you want? Is it set in the beginning of time, in a medieval era, in your setting’s equivalent of the Victorian or Edwardian era, in modern day, in the far off future, or even at the end of the world?
Are certain types of technology more advanced than others? Which kinds are banned or discouraged? Are certain parts of the world more developed than others? Are supplies of certain items limited and/or nonreplaceable? How does this affect the average person’s lifestyle? You decide.
Making Original Technology For Your Story
Sometimes, the technology shown in an existing work isn’t helpful for dealing with a certain task. Maybe your original story needs a special tool for issues specific to the setting or an equivalent item for a modern gadget that doesn’t exist in your world. Sit down, and ask yourself a few questions.
Why is this item needed? Does your character need a way to store cold food? Are their culture’s medical techniques different from the norm? Do your characters need a way to stay in contact while split up on a quest? Need is the mother of innovation.
What does it look like? What materials is it made of? Is it bulky or sleek? How large is it? What color is it? How is it shaped? Is it expandable? It is the item’s first version, or an improved model? How well does it perform?
What situations are this item used in? Who invented it? Has it been made in bulk? If so, how does it affect trade, medical care, communication, hobbies, or travel? How common is it? How expensive is it?
Besides the benefits, consider the item’s weaknesses. Does it run out of its power source in a certain period of time? Does it need a long time to recharge? Is the item fragile? Is it prone to malfunctions? Is it too bulky to be hauled everywhere? Is your setting’s equivalent of cell service patchy? Does relying on the item for too long cause health problems for people using it?
Technology and Magic
If the story is one where magic also exists, consider how the two interact. It may depend on the individual setting. Remember that magic can be considered a scientific field. If in a world where magical and non-magicals live separately, magic users may use their power to invent versions of modern tech.
Oftentimes, magic is presented as incompatible with modern technology, or at least electronic devices. In the book series The Dresden Files, the main character Harry Dresden is shown to short out any inventions past the 1950s. He actually has to leave modern hospitals as soon as he’s mobile after injuries, in fear of his magic shorting out another patient’s life support. This issue also forces him to drive an old-school car, use an ice box to store cold food, and go without a lot of modern conveniences like heated water or air conditioning.
In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, it’s stated that technology fails around large amounts of magic or largely magical areas. However, the limits are not clearly established. Harry Potter uses a watch until it’s destroyed in the Triwizard Tournament’s second task in the Black Lake. He continues wearing it out of habit afterwards. Those usually require batteries.
Certain technology can run off magic instead of electricity, such as the Weasleys’ car or Colin Creevey’s camera. Diagon Alley is in the middle of London, yet there’s no fuss about random blackouts in the area or the local security cameras shorting out.
In other situations, magic may coexist alongside regular technology. They can even enhance one another. In Sailor Moon, the Sailor Guardians protected the Moon Kingdom before its destruction, and gain magical abilities while transformed. Yet, the Moon Kingdom and later Crystal Tokyo are depicted as high-technology societies; the Moon Kingdom had an artificial climate dome around it, and an advanced computer.
Consider what approach you want, and the consequences there of. Settings where magic is supposed to be hidden have the risk of ‘outing’ magicals to non-magicals if electronics like phones or crosswalks fizzle out whenever they’re in public. Modifying items with magic may be a special scientific field. Imagine a person with a pacemaker or insulin pump wandering into a highly magical area, only for their medical device to fail on them. Even a few bigoted magical folks would hate that they’re unintentionally causing harm.
Technology and Magic Subsection: Harry Potter
As Harry Potter fanfictions are very common, it’s important to address the series and its approach to magic and technology interacting. As mentioned above, technology blacks out around high amounts of magic or highly magical communities, but limits on what is affected and what isn’t weren’t clearly established. Battery-run items like Harry’s watch seem to work fine, but phones and bugging devices do not.
In post-Deathly Hallows works, think of how jarring it may be for muggleborns or muggle-raised wizards to go from being able to text friends in a moment to having to mail letters to family members by owl. New Hogwarts students despairing over not having Facebook anymore makes for a good joke, but consider practical problems.
Say a girl with cerebral palsy has magic. She uses an electric wheelchair because her limbs don’t work well. She receives a letter from a wizarding school. Let’s hope the girl’s parents and the school’s representative talk it over and find a solution to her dilemma before she sets foot in Diagon Alley. She will otherwise be unable to move under her own power in a magical environment.
Wizards are portrayed as ignorant to modern trends. Arthur Weasley goes crazy over various gadgets. He even wonders what people use rubber ducks for. It’s implied that Harry Potter misidentified his cousin Dudley Dursley’s broken video game console as a Playstation One in 1994 when writing to Sirius Black. The Playstation One was not released in Europe until September 1995. Multiple wizards are shown fascinated with the Dursleys’ microwave when they visit at different times. It is stated that pureblooded wizards resist adopting muggle tech unless there is no choice.
That is not to say wizards are a technological blackhole. Many items like radios, cars, and others can be enchanted to work off magic. A lot of wizards enchant or create their own magical items. Sirius Black and James Potter used a set of two-way mirrors during their school days, with the device acting similar to a cell phone. They and their friends Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew eventually created the Maruaders’ Map, which showed nearly everyone on Hogwarts’ grounds and most of the castle. The Weasley twins come up with Skiving Snackboxes so students buying them can skip class without too much trouble.
Maybe Professor McGonagall goes soul-searching after the final battle, and tries finding ways to make the school more non-magical friendly. She would have ample reason to do so; she would not want the Carrows’ days of cruelty to return in any form. She may modify the wizarding wireless radios to cast local muggle stations or keep an enchanted phone in her office so non-magical families of her students can contact her in emergencies.
Keep in mind that a wizard OC can’t sneak their modern video games into Hogwarts or Beauxbatons, but watches, certain cameras, radios, and handheld games with non-rechargable batteries could make it in. Non-electric devices like notebooks, pencils, pens, paints, or board games have no restrictions.
How Technology Affects Living Conditions
How advanced society is affects how housing and chores are handled. Many modern perks like clean water, heating, air conditioning, refrigeration, and fast travel are taken for granted. If the characters in your setting lack certain conveniences, think of how they will tackle different problems that usually require them.
For instance, a lot of people use electric washers and dryers to take care of their clothes. Getting them cleaned, dried, and sorted is easy. But, what if your world doesn’t have these items? Do the local people scrub them by hand in a river or on a board? How are stains dealt with? Are herbs mixed with the clothes to freshen their scent? Are they dried on a clothesline? If it’s raining or snowing, what is done instead?
Think along similar lines for various issues. Water might be boiled for safety, or mixed with alcohol. Shades will be pulled if too hot. A lot of food may be canned, cured, or otherwise stored in a root cellar when fresh cannot be bought. Preparations for any trips may take a long while. People will sleep under mountains of blankets to retain heat.
Conversely, works set in the future may find all of this child’s play. Think of how a lot of appliances can be activated now with a smartphone application. Do robots grocery shop on the characters’ behalf? Are clothes dried and sorted in one machine in a few minutes? Can a room’s windows be programmed to show a certain background, like in the Hunger Games film? Are fingerprint scanners used so characters may access restricted areas?
Think long and hard how the technology of your world will influence daily life.
In Conclusion
Technology is a powerful force. Sometimes characters may solve problems too easily with it, but all time periods have some level of it. It’s important to know what the limits of inventions in your setting are. Otherwise, someone may complain ‘how did they end up with this issue when so-and-so gadget could have solved the problem?’, or ‘why is the ninja watching television?’.
Have a nice day.
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Top 7 Law Of Attraction Tips To Manifest More Of What You Want!
By Heather Mathews Author of Manifestation Miracle “Everything is within your power, and your power is within you.” ― Janice Trachtman Charlie, a stay at home dad, works out of his living room while looking after his three-year-old toddler. As a social media consultant, he depends on his laptop to make a living. The problem is that his beat up computer was as old as his kid, and it was always glitching on him. So Charlie kept focusing on getting a new computer – a 13-inch Macbook Pro in particular. Eventually, his old laptop gave out, which made him panic a bit. So Charlie went online to look for another one while having the shiny new Macbook in the back of his mind. After hours of searching, he couldn’t find a reasonably priced model. So he was about to settle on another type of laptop and was close to closing the sale. But at the last minute, Charlie decided to check the price listings for a used version of the computer that he REALLY wanted. And just like that, someone was selling a six-month old Macbook Pro for a price significantly cheaper than a store-bought one. So Charlie got what he wanted, and at a better deal than he had hoped for! Now, Charlie’s incredible stroke of luck seemed like a fluke to him at first, but then another awesome thing happened shortly after. You see, Charlie was also looking for a new job because he felt stuck in his current one. So he had his sights set on another company with a position in mind. The truth was that he wasn’t all that confident he was even qualified for the position, but he went over the job description again and again. Charlie even printed the job ad and put it on his refrigerator door so he could see it every day. A couple of weeks after his interview, he got a call from the company and said he got the job. On Charlie’s first day, his new boss told him, “Honestly, your skillset isn’t an exact match for what we were looking for. But I really liked how you did at the interview…and besides, we can train you for the other things you need to learn, anyway. You have a great attitude and that’s more important than being 100% qualified for the job.” Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person’s Secret To Get Everything You’ve Ever Wished For Is It Coincidence - Or Something Else at Work? It’s easy to brush off Charlie’s streak as plain dumb luck, but could he have WILLED his good fortune to happen? After all, the common element between getting his new laptop and the new job was that he focused on both things intensely. Charlie kept it in his thoughts all the time. More than that, he created a detailed picture of his desired state in his mind. He imagined what it would be like to hold his new laptop and how he’d feel working in the new job he was aiming for. Charlie visualized both scenarios so vividly that he could almost taste it. Whether he knew it or not, he was putting the basic principle of The Law of Attraction to work - and it served him well. As the name implies, this law decrees that “like attracts like.” There’s a global movement behind this belief, and it says that the kind of thoughts you send out to the Universe emit a certain frequency – be it helpful or harmful. And you have the power to control the wavelength you operate on, which in turn attracts circumstances that match your energy. So by focusing on positive outcomes and giving out positive vibrations, you can turn your thoughts into a tangible force of good in your life! On the other side of the coin, dwelling on the negative aspects of life and focusing your attention on the things you resent attracts even MORE negativity into your world. Like Charlie, you can think of something specific you want, and hold that image in your mind. Create all the details that bring the picture to life, then believe that you already have it. When you go about your day thinking that the object of your desire is already a matter of fact… …this sends out a clear, strong message to the Universe that you truly WANT and BELIEVE it. But this is just the tip of the iceberg; there are other ways to raise your frequency even higher. By following these 7 Tips to Create the Life You’ve Always Dreamed Of, you’ll naturally attract everything you’ve ever wanted – and MORE:
#1: Set aside time to focus on what you desire
The first habit is simple enough: give yourself at least 5-7 minutes daily to visualize the things you want to turn into reality.
You can do this by finding a quiet place to contemplate, then sit upright with your eyes closed. While keeping your desires front and center in your thoughts, breathe deeply in and out.
Focus on your breath and the sensations your body is feeling, and use that as anchor to keep your thoughts from straying.
If your mind does go on a tangent, gently bring yourself back to your breathing AND your desired future state.
You’ll get a lot of benefits from doing this for just a few minutes every day. For instance, many studies have proven the stress-reducing properties of meditation.
A study at the Massachusetts General Hospital showed that people who tried their meditation program experienced significantly less health problems than before.
They ended up not having to see a doctor or go to the emergency room, saving them about $2,300 in medical costs for EACH person!
On top of that of course, meditation also helps you keep your eye on the prize and give you the determination to make it happen.
Some people however, have trouble meditating and get easily distracted.
If you need a little guidance with this habit, I’ve got a special gift for you – but more on that later…
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#2: Be grateful and practice gratitude
Ever hear the expression “Thank your lucky stars”?
Back in ancient times, people believed that celestial bodies played a huge role in someone’s destiny.
Today, many still believe that these same external forces affect our lives.
The Law of Attraction draws from this belief, and it states that we should be gratefull whenever the Universe sends something good our way.
This is another way of fine tuning your frequency. When you actively pay attention to the positive things that happen around you, it acts like a magnet that attracts similar things.
And by being thankful for your blessings, you’re sending a powerful message to the Universe that essentially translates to:
“Thank you, that was awesome! More please!”
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#3: Take a leap of faith
The main challenge that people have with manifesting their desires is dealing with the world of the intangible.
It can be daunting (and even discouraging) to imagine a future outcome that hasn’t happened yet.
It takes some faith to push past that hazy uncertainty, and not everyone has it in them to do so.
So you need to check your inner Doubting Thomas at the door for a moment and appreciate how other people have used the Law of Attraction to succeed.
Consider the great figures from the past: Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela, Marie Curie, Vincent Van Gogh and Nikola Tesla.
All of them were shining examples of how they used their mind and willpower to create something valuable in this world.
They raised their own frequency and as result, had a different energy from the rest of humanity.
Even though they’re gone, their legacy lives on, and we can still feel its impact today.
It’s all because they took a brave step into the unknown.
Even though they couldn’t see how their work would ripple through the next several decades, they still powered through.
The skepticism that people have is the result of growing up.
As you get older and have more experiences, a certain amount of jadedness sets in.
That’s why you won’t find any of that in kids. Just think about how children play make-believe.
When they yell, “The floor is lava!” you can bet they’ll be scrambling for the nearest couch or chair to avoid getting “burned.”
On a certain level, they TRULY believe that the floor is literally molten rock.
They can see the hot, glowing lava, burning everything its path…
…and they do everything to stay out of its way.
That’s the power the mind and imagination in action.
Learn how to see the world on this level again. That way, you can see a bright future before it happens – then go on to make it a reality.
Click Here To Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life
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#4: Keep on keepin’ on
One of the realities of this world is that you can’t eliminate adversity.
It’s always going to be an uphill climb at some point, especially when you’ve just taken on a new challenge.
You’ve been eating right and working out, but the pounds aren’t quite flying off as you’d hoped.
You started a side income project, but your cash flow hasn’t been anything more than a trickle.
You’ve tried beating your depression with exercise, therapy and medication, but the dark thoughts still charge at you like a freight train.
That’s called RESISTANCE.
It will always be there, even as you dig deep and do everything in your power to manifest the reality you want.
Being a grown-up means expecting those external circumstances to work against you.
Your best response? PUSH BACK.
Keep your inner world together, and the outside world will follow suit.
Dumbledore once told Harry Potter, “Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.”
Remember: the hero of the story is never a one-person army.
Harry had Hermione and Ron.
Luke had Obi-Wan and Yoda.
And you don’t have to fly solo in YOUR journey.
Think about the people in your inner circle – are they giving you the energy, motivation and inspiration to succeed?
If the company you keep sneers at growth and being better, maybe it’s time to look for other friends to round out your squad.
Seek people who lead by example and can show you how to overcome that resistance in your life.
Learn from them and let their enthusiasm rub off you.
While you’re at it, use technology to connect to like-minded folks who can help you in your quest. Open your phone or laptop and fire up YouTube, Vimeo or any other video streaming site.
TED talks, self-help lectures and tons of other empowering content are literally at your fingertips.
The Universe has too much abundance for you to ignore.
We’re part of a vast human network, and our collective energy affects everyone else in ways we can’t yet fully comprehend.
This network has always been around; the Internet merely accelerated it. Tap into it and unleash its power.
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#5: Tune out your Negative Ned (or Nancy)
There’s always that voice in the back of your head that kicks in when life gets tough.
It loves whispering things in your ear, usually at the height of your frustration and despair:
- “You totally blew that one, why do you even bother trying?”
- “You had one job and you screwed it up like always…I’m not even surprised.”
- “Getting back on the horse, are we? I give it a week before you go back to your old ways. Better to quit while you’re ahead!”
- “You actually thought he was complimenting you? Oh, bless your heart…it’s called ‘small talk’ and ‘being nice’.”
If you’re like the rest of the human species, you’re going to run into those nasty folks called insecurity, self-doubt and fear.
They’re going to take up space in your head and try to drown you out with their noise.
Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet and scholar, knew this well. It his poem “The Guest House”, he spoke an ancient truth about the human condition.
He likened all our thoughts and feelings – both good and bad – as visitors who stopped by the guest house of the soul.
And this line struck me the most:
“The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.”
Once I understood what it meant, I realized that I didn’t have to resist it. I could simply let my obnoxious guests do their thing, and see them out.
It’s not about covering your ears and going, “La la la la! I can’t hear you!”
Acknowledging their existence in your head is NOT the same as letting them win.
The world’s greatest achievers go through bouts of darkness and anger like everyone else.
The main difference is that they use their failures as material for an instruction manual called “What NOT to Do and How to Do It Better The Next Time Around”.
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#6: Ditch your story
You shouldn’t stop at managing your negative thoughts, however. You need to peel back another layer and go deeper.
Here’s the thing: you grew up on a set of beliefs, whether you’re aware of it or not.
Your parents, teachers, friends and pretty much everyone you knew growing up contributed to your programming.
You don’t know it, but you operate on this programming on a daily basis.
And it influences every decision you make – and how you choose to see the world.
Now this can be a good thing if you grew up around people who were positive, motivated and had a good outlook on life…
…but this is the real world we’re talking about, so NOT everyone had that kind of effect on you.
Somewhere along your journey, someone discouraged you in a subtle way, or put some sort of label that you can’t shake off.
Words like “Underachiever”, “Oddball”, “Loser”, “Nerd”, “Small Fry”, “Ugly Duckling” and “Black Sheep” come to mind…
…and each one is damaging in its own toxic way.
Sadly, most people carry this invisible weight their whole life.
But starting today, you can lay those bricks on the ground and walk away for good. You don’t have to carry that weight for anyone, especially not for THEM.
Stop living your story based on the false narrative that your negative programming created.
All those preconceived beliefs need to go if you want to attract happiness and prosperity in your life.
I’ve seen people achieve INCREDIBLE things – even the impossible – just by doing this one thing.
Lionel, a heroin addict from Michigan, was in and out of jail for the longest time.
But after overdosing within an inch of his life, he decided to ditch his old story.
Even after everyone gave up on Lionel and called him a “screw-up”, he turned it all around.
He let go of the labels that people had been putting on him for YEARS…
…and Lionel decided he didn’t have to be any of those things anymore.
Lionel created a NEW story for himself – one where he was finally free of his crippling addiction and lived a clean, sober life.
What kind of story do YOU want to live out?
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#7: Make your affirmations “pop”
You might have heard of people making declarations about themselves to manifest them as truth, and not just as an opinion.
When you affirm some truth about yourself, it validates the awesomeness within you.
Words of kindness heal the soul and help forgive past failures.
In short, it’s about LOVING yourself.
After all, you can’t give what you don’t have.
However, saying “Boy I sure love myself!” doesn’t quite do the trick.
To make your affirmations stick in your subconscious, it needs to have a little something extra.
Don’t stop at “I love me!”- take it up another notch to really drive the point home.
Try these on for size:
- “I love myself so much that I want to use my gifts and share them with the world. I want to take this love inside me and use it to lift other people up.”
- “By sharing the love I have, I possess the power to change myself for the better, and the world around me.”
- “I am love, light, peace and prosperity. Anger, hate and scarcity have no power over me.”
- Aside from loving yourself, you can also infuse a dash of humor in your affirmations. Who says you have to be so grim with his Law of Attraction stuff, anyway?
When you add a bit of levity while you affirm yourself, it shushes your Negative Ned (or Nancy) into silence.
Try coming up with statements like these:
- “I’m so awesome that I kick mediocrity in its big fat butt!”
- “I’ve come here to be awesome at everything I do and kick major butt. And I’m all out of butts to kick.”
- “Did you say something, self-doubt? Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness!”
It’s all a matter of finding the right attitude and tone that suits you. Take a crack at making these affirmations, and you’ll soon find your true inner voice.
What matters is that you inject your affirmations with a serious amount of attitude, and above all, ENERGY.
Without that energy, you won’t give your messages enough “juice” to reach the Universe and show up on its radar.
Those who practice the Law of Attraction often combine these affirmations with their meditation sessions to hit two birds with one stone.
And the results are nothing short of phenomenal.
Now, about that gift I promised you earlier…
To make the MOST out of your meditation, I’ve got a series of audio tracks to help you manifest incredible benefits in your life.
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☄️ Pufferfish, please scale the site!
We created Team Pufferfish about a year ago with a specific goal: to avert the MySQL apocalypse! The MySQL apocalypse would occur when so many students would work on quizzes simultaneously that even the largest MySQL database AWS has on offer would not be able to cope with the load, bringing the site to a halt.
A little over a year ago, we forecasted our growth and load-tested MySQL to find out how much wiggle room we had. In the worst case (because we dislike apocalypses), or in the best case (because we like growing), we would have about a year’s time. This meant we needed to get going!
Looking back on our work now, the most important lesson we learned was the importance of timely and precise feedback at every step of the way. At times we built short-lived tooling and process to support a particular step forward. This made us so much faster in the long run.
🏔 Climbing the Legacy Code Mountain
Clear from the start, Team Pufferfish would need to make some pretty fundamental changes to the Quiz Engine, the component responsible for most of the MySQL load. Somehow the Quiz Engine would need to significantly reduce its load on MySQL.
Most of NoRedInk runs on a Rails monolith, including the Quiz Engine. The Quiz Engine is big! It’s got lots of features! It supports our teachers & students to do lots of great work together! Yay!
But the Quiz Engine has some problems, too. A mix of complexity and performance-sensitivity has made engineers afraid to touch it. Previous attempts at big structural change in the Quiz Engine failed and had to be rolled back. If Pufferfish was going make significant structural changes, we would need to ensure our ability to be productive in the Quiz Engine codebase. Thinking we could just do it without a new approach would be foolhardy.
⚡ The Vengeful God of Tests
We have mixed feelings about our test suite. It’s nice that it covers a lot of code. Less nice is that we don’t really know what each test is intended to check. These tests have evolved into complex bits of code by themselves with a lot of supporting logic, and in many cases, tight coupling to the implementation. Diving deep into some of these tests has uncovered tests no longer covering any production logic at all. The test suite is large and we didn’t have time to dive deep into each test, but we were also reluctant to delete test cases without being sure they weren’t adding value.
Our relationship with the Quiz Engine test suite was and still is a bit like one might have with an angry Greek god. We’re continuously investing effort to keep it happy (i.e. green), but we don’t always understand what we’re doing or why. Please don’t spoil our harvest and protect us from (production) fires, oh mighty RSpec!
The ultimate goal wasn’t to change Quiz Engine functionality, but rather to reduce its load on MySQL. This is the perfect scenario for tests to help us! The test suite we want is:
fast
comprehensive, and
not dependent on implementation
includes performance testing
Unfortunately, that’s not the hand we were given:
The suite takes about 30 minutes to run in CI and even longer locally.
Our QA team finds bugs that sneaked past CI in PRs with Quiz Engine changes relatively frequently.
Many tests ensure that specific queries are performed in a specific order. Considering we might replace MySQL wholesale, these tests provide little value.
And because a lot of Quiz Engine code is extremely performance-sensitive, there’s an increased risk of performance regressions only surfacing with real production load.
Fighting with our tests meant that even small changes would take hours to verify in tests, and then, because of unforeseen regressions not covered by the tests, take multiple attempts to fix, resulting in multiple-day roll-outs for small changes.
Our clock is ticking! We needed to iterate faster than that if we were going to avert the apocalypse.
🐶 I have no idea what I’m doing 🧪
Reading complicated legacy Rails code often raises questions that take surprising amounts of effort to answer.
Is this method dead code? If not, who is calling this?
Are we ever entering this conditional? When?
Is this function talking to the database?
Is this function intentionally talking to the database?
Is this function only reading from the database or also writing to it?
It isn’t even clear what code was running. There are a few features of Ruby (and Rails) which optimize for writing code over reading it. We did our best to unwrap this type of code:
Rails provides devs the ability to wrap functionality in hooks. before_ and after_ hooks let devs write setup and tear-down code once, then forget it. However, the existence of these hooks means calling a method might also evaluate code defined in a different file, and you won’t know about it unless you explicitly look for it. Hard to read!
Complicating things further is Ruby’s dynamic dispatch based on subclassing and polymorphic associations. Which load_students am I calling? The one for Quiz or the one for Practice? They each implement the Assignment interface but have pretty different behavior! And: they each have their own set of hooks🤦. Maybe it’s something completely different!
And then there’s ActiveRecord. ActiveRecord makes it easy to write queries — a little too easy. It doesn’t make it easy to know where queries are happening. It’s ergonomic that we can tell ActiveRecord what we need, and let it figure how to fetch the data. It’s less nice when you’re trying to find out where in the code your queries are happening and the answer to that question is, “absolutely anywhere”. We want to know exactly what queries are happening on these code paths. ActiveRecord doesn’t help.
🧵 A rich history
A final factor that makes working in Quiz Engine code daunting is the sheer size of the beast. The Quiz Engine has grown organically over many years, so there’s a lot of functionality to be aware of.
Because the Quiz Engine itself has been hard to change for a while, APIs defined between bits of Quiz Engine code often haven’t evolved to match our latest understanding. This means understanding the Quiz Engine code requires not just understanding what it does today, but also how we thought about it in the past, and what (partial) attempts were made to change it. This increases the sum of Quiz Engine knowledge even further.
For example, we might try to refactor a bit of code, leading to tests failing. But is this conditional branch ever reached in production? 🤷
Enough complaining. What did we do about it?
We knew this was going to be a huge project, and huge projects, in the best case, are shipped late, and in the average case don’t ever ship. The only way we were going to have confidence that our work would ever see the light of day was by doing the riskiest, hardest, scariest stuff first. That way, if one approach wasn’t going to work, we would find out about it sooner and could try something new before we’d over-invested in a direction.
So: where is the risk? What’s the scariest problem we have to solve? History dictates: The more we change the legacy system, the more likely we’re going to cause regressions.
So our first task: cut away the part of the Quiz Engine that performs database queries and port this logic to a separate service. Henceforth when Rails needs to read or change Quiz Engine data, it will talk to the new service instead of going to the database directly.
Once the legacy-code risk has been minimized, we would be able to focus on the (still challenging) task of changing where we store Quiz Engine data from single-database MySQL to something horizontally scalable.
⛏️ Phase 1: Extracting queries from Rails
🔪 Finding out where to cut
Before extracting Quiz Engine MySQL queries from our Rails service, we first needed to know where those queries were being made. As we discussed above this wasn’t obvious from reading the code.
To find the MySQL queries themself, we built some tooling: we monkey-patched ActiveRecord to warn whenever an unknown read or write was made against one of the tables containing Quiz Engine data. We ran our monkey-patched code first in CI and later in production, letting the warnings tell us where those queries were happening. Using this information we decorated our code by marking all the reads and writes. Once code was decorated, it would no longer emit warnings. As soon as all the writes & reads were decorated, we changed our monkey-patch to not just warn but fail when making a query against one of those tables, to ensure we wouldn’t accidentally introduce new queries touching Quiz Engine data.
🚛 Offloading logic: Our first approach
Now we knew where to cut, we decided our place of greatest risk was moving a single MySQL query out of our rails app. If we could move a single query, we could move all of them. There was one rub: if we did move all queries to our new app, we would add a lot of network latency. because of the number of round trips needed for a single request. Now we have a constraint: Move a single query into a new service, but with very little latency.
How did we reduce latency?
Get rid of network latency by getting rid of the network — we hosted the service in the same hardware as our Rails app.
Get rid of protocol latency by using a dead-simple protocol: socket communication.
We ended up building a socket server in Haskell that took data requests from Rails, and transformed them into a series of MySQL queries, which rails would use to fetch the data itself.
🛸 Leaving the Mothership: Fewer Round Trips
Although co-locating our service with rails got us off the ground, it required significant duct tape. We had invested a lot of work building nice deployment systems for HTTP services and we didn’t want to re-invent that tooling for socket-based side-car apps. The thing that was preventing the migration was having too many round-trip requests to the Rails app. How could we reduce the number of round trips?
As we moved MySQL query generation to our new service, we started to see this pattern in our routes:
MySQL Read some data ┐ Ruby Do some processing │ candidate 1 for MySQL Read some more data ┘ extraction Ruby More processing MySQL Write some data ┐ Ruby Processing again! │ candidate 2 for MySQL Write more data ┘ extraction
To reduce latency, we’d have to bundle reads and writes: In addition to porting reads & writes to the new service, we’d have to port the ruby logic between reads and writes, which would be a lot of work.
What if instead, we could change the order of operations and make it look like this?
MySQL Read some data ┐ candidate 1 for MySQL Read some more data ┘ extraction Ruby Do some processing Ruby More processing Ruby Processing again! MySQL Write some data ┐ candidate 2 for MySQL Write more data ┘ extraction
Then we’d be able to extract batches of queries to Haskell and leave the logic behind in Rails.
One concern we had with changing the order of operations like this was the possibility of a request handler first writing some data to the database, then reading it back again later. Changing the order of read and write queries would result in such code failing. However, since we now had a complete and accurate picture of all the queries the Rails code was making, we knew (luckily!) we didn’t need to worry about this.
Another concern was the risk of a large refactor like this resulting in regressions causing long feedback cycles and breaking the Quiz Engine. To avoid this we tried to keep our refactors as dumb as possible: Specifically: we mostly did a lot of inlining. We would start with something like this
class QuizzesControllller 9000 :super_saiyan else load_sub_syan_fun_type # TODO: inline me end end end end
These are refactors with a relatively small chance of changing behavior or causing regressions.
Once the query was at the top level of the code it became clear when we needed data, and that understanding allowed us to push those queries to happen first.
e.g. from above, we could easily push the previously obscured QuizForFun query to the beginning:
class QuizzesControllller 9000 :super_saiyan else load_sub_syan_fun_type # TODO: inline me end end end
You might expect our bout of inlining to introduce a ton of duplication in our code, but in practice, it surfaced a lot of dead code and made it clearer what the functions we left behind were doing. That wasn’t what we set out to do, but still, nice!
👛 Phase 2: Changing the Quiz Engine datastore
At this point all interactions with the Quiz Engine datastore were going through this new Quiz Engine service. Excellent! This means for the second part of this project, the part where we were actually going to avert the MySQL apocalypse, we wouldn’t need to worry about our legacy Rails code.
To facilitate easy refactoring, we built this new service in Haskell. The effect was immediately noticeable. Like an embargo had been lifted, from this point forward we saw a constant trickle of small productive refactors get mixed in the work we were doing, slowly reshaping types to reflect our latest understanding. Changes we wouldn’t have made on the Rails side unless we’d have set aside months of dedicated time. Haskell is a great tool to use to manage complexity!
The centerpiece of this phase was the architectural change we were planning to make: switching from MySQL to a horizontally scalable storage solution. But honestly, figuring the architecture details here wasn’t the most interesting or challenging portion of the work, so we’re just putting that aside for now. Maybe we’ll return to it in a future blog post (sneak peek: we ended up using Redis and Kafka). Like in step 1, the biggest question we had to solve was “how are we going to make it safe to move forward quickly?”
One challenge was that we had left most of our test suite behind in Rails in phase one, so we were not doing too well on that front. We added Haskell test coverage of course, including many golden result tests which are worth a post on their own. Together with our QA team we also invested in our Cypress integration test suite which runs tests from the browser, thus integration-testing the combination of our Rails and Haskell code.
Our most useful tool in making safe changes in this phase however was our production traffic. We started building up what was effectively a parallel Haskell service talking to Redis next to the existing one talking to MySQL. Both received production load from the start, but until the very end of the project only the MySQL code paths’ response values were used. When the Redis code path didn’t match the MySQL, we’d log a bug. Using these bug reports, we slowly massaged the Redis code path to return identical data to MySQL.
Because we weren’t relying on the output of the Redis code path in production, we could deploy changes to it many times a day, without fear of breaking the site for students or teachers. These deploys provided frequent and fast feedback. Deploying frequently was made possible by the Haskell Quiz Engine code living in its own service, which meant deploys contained only changes by our team, without work from other teams with a different risk profile.
🥁 So, did it work?
It’s been about a month since we’ve switched entirely to the new architecture and it’s been humming along happily. By the time we did the official switch-over to the new datastore it had been running at full-load (but with bugs) for a couple of months already. Still, we were standing ready with buckets of water in case we overlooked something. Our anxiety was in vain: the roll-out was a non-event.
Architecture, plans, goals, were all important to making this a success. Still, we think the thing most crucial to our success was continuously improving our feedback loops. Fast feedback (lots of deploys), accurate feedback (knowing all the MySQL queries Rails is making), detailed feedback (lots of context in error reports), high signal/noise ratio (removing errors we were not planning to act on), lots of coverage (many students doing quizzes). Getting this feedback required us to constantly tweak and create tooling and new processes. But even if these processes were sometimes short-lived, they've never been an overhead, allowing us to move so much faster.
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Entry 1
After reading this passage, I literally put the book down and said wow.. this could not be more true.
If you asked me years ago what my life would be like today, it definitely isn’t where I am today. At 27, I thought I would already have a full time job as a pharmacist, maybe be engaged or married (to no one in particular in mind), living on my own, and fully independent. Well...at 27 today, I can tell you that, I do not have a full time job ( I only work 3 times a week), single, and still living at home with my parents, and still dependent on coming home to groceries and dinner.
As human as we all are, there are times where I thought to myself like damn.. how did I get to this point. I really thought I would have life figured out by now, but the truth is I really don’t. I do have goals for myself, but I don’t really know what direction my life is headed towards. In reality, I no longer have a visual of what my life will be like a week, a month, a year from now. And if I’m being honest, there was a period of time where I would feel bad for myself because of that... seeing other people figuring their lives out, working full time jobs, married, buying homes, etc. I would falsify what I thought would make me happy and started to brutally compare myself to others.
I really despised being in this kind of self-hatred, negative mindset because it truly isn’t who I am or who I set out to be. So I started to reflect a little deeper about myself... and you know what...
it is okay to feel these kind of emotions/feelings. But I’ve learned that the most imperative thing you can do for yourself is to not get stuck there. Allow yourself to feel it, but then CHOOSE to react to it with kindness, perseverance, and determination. CHOOSE to be the best version of yourself NOW and love what you already have. CHOOSE to continue learning from any experience or opportunity in that very moment.
So... given that I only work a part time job right now as a pharmacist, I know that it won’t be like this forever. I will take this current experience I am fortunate enough to have and be the best pharmacist I can be here. To continue learning every time I go into work. I know that it won’t be like this forever because I DO have that every desire in me to put myself out there and take opportunities that come my way. I DO have that determination to want to continue learning and growing in this profession and not get stuck at just one place forever. I KNOW that I am a person who will take action and not just say things to say it.
So... given that I am still single, that’s okay. I am taking this time to really learn more about myself. To give myself that self-love and that solo time I probably won’t get as often once I am actually in a relationship. I am choosing to see this as a time to really rejuvenate my soul and my heart. I mean It’s been 7 years since I’ve been single, so why not focus on the one relationship I can actually control and that’s with myself.
So... given that I am still living at home and not fully independent, WOW am I super lucky. I have parents that welcome me with open arms every day, who will cook me food, take care of me when I’m feeling ill, offer to run some errands for me, and provide me that 24/7 advice and support I need whenever and wherever I need it. I have parents who continue to push me to want to be better and do better and I can’t wait for the day that I can take care of them.
With that kind of mindset, I know for a fact that life - in the end- will be okay. I will be okay. It’s not about whether or not we have life figured out because in reality, nobody does or ever will. It’s about what you currently have and how you choose to react and take actions on the things that spontaneously come your way as you continue on your path to your own growth and happiness.
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Reasons to Watch Long Anime Series
An original post documenting all the reasons to watch long anime series. A long anime series can depend on your own definition. It can be 50+, 500+, or in my case, 980+. I was inspired to create this post by my frustration of trying to convince a friend to start Detective Conan and failing because he is stubborn with his views. I couldn’t even convince him to watch FMA:B or HxH ):
This list is not in any particular order. Blockquotes represent the excuses for not wanting to watch long anime series. The comment below it represents the reasons to watch long anime series and my response to the excuse.
My comments may be negative, condescending, and cynical. It is only because I love the anime franchises of Detective Conan, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hunter x Hunter, Bleach, etc. And even though I haven’t completed many of the popular long anime series, I respect D. Gray-Man, Gintama, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Pokemon, Dragon Ball, Reborn !, and many others.
If I have offended you, it was never my intention. If I hurt your feelings, I never meant to. If you disagree with my reasons and find fault in them, consider my viewpoints and then send me a response. If I come off as ignorant, politely inform me. If I bashed your favourite anime or character, it was only an example. If I haven’t defended your favourite anime or character, oops. If I repeat myself, it is because the excuses are similar. If you have another excuse / reason, let me know and I’ll add it here.
It’s too long.
Imagine if your favourite seasonal anime went with a perennial episodic structure rather than a seasonal one. Would you still have started it ? A seasonal structure is more profitable and less risky to studios and can be just as many episodes as anime with a perennial episodic structure. It depends on the studio and scriptwriters.
Anime TV series are usually split up into many seasons. Treat the anime like you’re watching the entire series as separately released seasons and not one singular continuous season. Example: Blue Exorcist has 2 seasons and is listed separately on anime databases while D. Gray-Man is listed as a single entry with many episodes even though it has 5 seasons. Why do you insist on watching Blue Exorcist instead of D. Gray-Man when the genres are similar and they are both mainly about exorcists fighting demons to keep the world a safer place ? Maybe you’re more into the plot, or maybe the animation is better, or maybe you’re unwilling to watch an anime that isn’t listed as multiple seasons, or maybe you’re just intimidated by the number of episodes and seasons. Whatever the reason is, don’t judge an anime by the amount of episodes it has. Don’t judge an anime franchise by whether it is of a perennial or a seasonal episodic structure.
I can watch 5 other anime instead of just this one.
True, you could watch multiple 12 ep anime instead of one long anime, but would it be memorable ? If you binge a 12 ep anime, each around 20 min long ( excluding openings and endings ), at 1x speed, that is 240 min, which is 4 hours. After those 4 hours, you would be like wow great anime 10/10 or whatever rating you give. Maybe give a review or recommendation. Then, you’d move on to the next anime. If the anime didn’t leave a lasting impression on you, what was the point ? Just to say that you’ve seen it and vaguely remember the plot and your opinion on it the next time that particular anime is brought up in conversation ?
Although being held emotionally hostage is tough and terrifying, a long anime would leave a greater impression. You can witness character growth / development, plot progression, and many other storytelling elements at a much greater level. Maybe you don’t have all the time in the world to watch 100+ episodes of an anime. But you can also come back time and time again with fresh perspectives instead of force-feeding shorter anime in a day.
Yes, this is a hypothetical, and may not apply to everyone. I am only asking for you to consider that situation and my perspective; you do not have to agree with it.
I’ll get bored
The other fans of the franchise didn’t get bored. If the anime has become increasingly boring, then put it on hold. I acknowledge the fact that sometimes the animators / creators will run out of stories to tell. If it’s not your cup of tea, then by all means, drop it. You can come back whenever you want to give the anime a try again.
I don’t want to watch a lot then quit.
No one is forcing you to quit the anime entirely. There is no pressure to watch every single episode. You can put it on hold and come back later. An indefinite drop can be reversed.
What if the anime becomes increasingly worst, unwatchable, annoying, etc. over time ?
If it does become that before you hit the latest episode, then put it on hold, drop it, or talk with your friends / the anime community about it and ask if the series gets better later on. If you are already caught up and think that the anime has decreased in quality, put it on hold or drop it.
I’ll watch too much at a time, get burnt out, and not come back to it
No one is forcing you to binge watch every single episode in a certain timeframe. You can always take a break or watch a few and come back later.
What if I don’t like the main cast or find one of them annoying ? I would have to stick with them for the rest of the anime.
Then put it on hold, drop it, or deal with it. As of 06 September 2020, I am on episode 44 of One Piece and I find Usopp absolutely annoying and unlikable. However, I have been told that he gets better. So, I continue the series because I like the other main cast and am invested in the story and the world of One Piece. Additionally, I’ve been reading the Black Clover manga way before the anime released and imagined Asta’s voice differently. I got used to his annoying voice over time and still continue the anime because I love the story and I want to see who eventually becomes the Wizard King. ( His voice also haunts me when I read the manga now )
Too many filler / fluff episodes
Google >> ( Anime ) non-filler episodes >> Watch according to that list
Also, I do not find filler episodes to be boring or straying away from the main plot. Filler episodes provide me with more interactions between the characters that regular anime ( with 12 or 24 episodes ) don’t have. Although it may seem unnecessary to some, filler flashbacks gives the audience a deeper insight into a character’s backstory, childhood, past experiences, traumatic experiences, etc. It can show character growth or development. The adventures to other areas expands the universe of the anime and leads to more world-building. The stories and possibilities are also limitless in comedy anime. Filler episodes can also introduce more aspects of Japanese culture ( or whatever the culture is prevalent ) and introduces new information.
Fillers between arcs are nice since most are slice-of-life types and setting up for the next arc. If you think that each arc is the same where there is a threat / enemy and they must defeat the final boss or everyone will die, yes that’s the basic formula. But keep in mind that it is a story after all. The arc is a larger story with the same characters doing different things to solve their problems. So what ? Some series are known for their consistencies and some for their randomness. Just like how almost every Detective Conan episode ( DC doesn’t have arcs unless it’s about the main plot ) is about solving cases and follows the same basic formula, and almost every episode of The Disastrous Life of Saiki K is random, spontaneous and full of comedy. I don’t watch shoujo anime as often so I won’t comment on that.
There are also many other reasons that fluff episodes are great. You don’t always have to watch them, and the wait may not always be worth it, but you can always skip them and not miss anything. But then again, Detective Conan was my first anime and I’ve learned how to be patient with an extremely slow plot. My patience is especially challenged whenever a new episode releases and it is a TV original Detective Boys episode ((:
While some shows are known to stretch plots into more episodes, those episodes may not be of the same “ quality ” as the rest of the show. This may included tropes, overused jokes, etc. It is still considered additional content, even if the quality suffers. This is usually the case when the anime catches up to the source material. You can always read the manga.
Filler / Fluff episodes are always controversial and I generally don’t mind them.
What if the anime cancels and all of the time I spent watching it has been a waste ?
Long anime series are rarely ever canceled because it’s a popular show. The anime usually tries to catch up with the manga and / or ends when the story ends. If the anime does end at a particular arc, there is always the manga. Also, if you had fun / a good time watching the show, then it wasn’t a waste.
I don’t want to.
Why ? Elaborate. Do you not like the genre ? The plot ? The animation style ? The studio ? The reviews ? The popularity ? The year it was released ? The fandom ? The voice actors ? The over-hype ? The pressure from friends, family, the anime community ? The memes ? What is it ?
It’s a waste of time.
The time investment is usually worth it because there is more to watch. Whenever I watch regular anime with 12 or 24 episodes, I usually end up feeling empty and wanting more. Who doesn’t want more content, scenes and character interactions ? If you enjoy something, then it wasn’t a waste of time.
Too many characters
Google >> ( Anime ) Characters Wiki / Fandom
You don’t have to know and remember every single character, their backstories, their interests / dislikes, their relationships with others, etc. to enjoy the episode. Additionally, if you really do pay attention to the series and is more invested, character deaths / losses will be even more impactful and significant. Characters can die easily ( like in Attack on Titan), but it doesn’t make their death any less important. Lives, fictional or not, have value and meaning. If in a war, 100 lives are lost, those lives are important in itself becau- oh that is probably a post for another time. Anyways, you don’t need to know everyone to understand or enjoy an episode or an anime series.
Quantity isn’t everything.
True. Sometimes the quality of animation rules over everything else, or maybe the plot pacing, or the character progression ( or the lack of it ), or something else. I’m not saying, WATCH ALL ANIME THAT IS OVER 100+ EPISODES BECAUSE THEY’RE BETTER. I’m saying to give them a chance. They’ve stood against the test of time, the changing audience, popular demand and culture, and other obstacles to get where they are today. Some are classics ( such as Naruto ) and some are beginning to / have hit the 100 episode mark of single entry anime ( like Black Clover ). Quantity isn’t everything is a valid point as well as quality isn’t everything. You enjoy what you enjoy. It’s never a waste to commit to something longer than what you usually watch if you enjoy it.
I want to finish everything I watch, regardless if it’s good or bad.
So you can sit through 12 episodes of a “ bad ” anime but not try out a single episode of a potentially “ good ” anime ?
Other Reasons to Watch:
When a long series ends, I can finally rest in peace.
Soundtracks + More opening and closing themes
Nostalgia once it ends
Seeing an anime from 1996 to 2020+ and the changes it goes through ( when rewatching or watching for the first time ) is astounding and shows how much the industry has changed and developed over time.
Conclusions + Repeated Statements
Main excuse for not watching long anime: It’s too long
Main response: No one is forcing you or pressuring you to binge watch everything. You can always put it on hold or drop it if you don’t like it.
Don’t judge an anime by the number of episodes.
If you had a good time, it wasn’t a waste.
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OC ABCs: Y1 through Y5, please!
1. How old were you when you created them?
Let's see. Oh wow, to be honest I had to do a bit of math here since I've had Kiomi for so long. SOOOOOO long. And guess what. Even I'm surprised to remember that I created her back when I was 13 years old. It's been what, 17 years since then. Man, time sure flies.
2. What inspired you to create them?
Often times my inspiration to create characters (either making an OC or taking up a canon) is due to friend influence. Kiomi was probably the only one that doesn't share that. Because I was relatively new to the Naruto fandom back when I first made her and I just wanted some interaction from people who played in the verse. (I didnt even know what canon was back in the day. Like, I had no idea that they were called that.) So I made a character with attributes that I liked, elements that I like, etc. while learning all about jutsus and stuff, and how the verse operated. I'm a bit rusty now specially since I've been on a very long Hiatus, but yeah. My inspiration for her came from the desire for interaction and story weaving. That's when I met my first friend in the verse, which just so happened to be an Orochimaru. They were very apprehensive and iffy about OCs but apparently, we were able to hit it off well enough that they were comfortable about interacting with my muse. So apart from just story building, my friend's Orochimaru was part of the inspiration, specially for the environment that she grew up in.
3. Were they different when they were first created?
Well, for starters she's less of a brat now than she was back then. She was so problematic when I first made her. She was so ridiculously rebellious to the point where she throws things at her lord when she becomes pissy and throws tantrums. (One thing hasn't changed though. If Kabuto tells her to behave, she behaves. xD) She's better at handling that now.
Her personality is fleshed out better too. Years of interaction with Muns and Muses alike have allowed me to explore her persona and characteristics. That enabled me to add the layers that were necessary to make her feel more organic.
Let me just say that I love Naruto movies and plotting with friends. Back when all I had was the fact that she's from Yukigakure and that her family was part of a genocide, I was wondering how to tie stuff into the verse more properly. Because of the history of the Kazahana's in the Land of Snow, the technical advancement the place had, I've been able to incorporate that knowledge into creating information for her clan.
Those are just some of the changes that's happened for my muse over the years, but I think my favorite part of the changes is the fact that she has some bonds now that are relatively real. Something that she believes is worth fighting form. Loss is a very big part of her character evolution. The more loss she experience, the more her personality shifts. She's always tethering along the threshold of wanting and protecting bonds, and not wanting to have anything to do with it.
I love the fact that she doesn't feel the desperation for a bond until it's there. Back then, she really wouldnt have given a crap. But now, when she experiences something genuine, she develops an eagerness to protect it. However, when it comes to bonds, the one thing that hasn't really changed is the fact that she'll try to avoid it as much as possible, until she realizes that she can't.
Kiomi's also actually pretty defiant. But I found that mellowing over the years too. When she realized how that gets her into too much trouble, she eventually toned it down. However, it's been replaced by her chronic lying-- which isn't too good a thing either. But the chronic lying is basically her defense mechanism now, because from the start she is bad at dealing with people. Being honest lands her in disadvantageous situations, so she resorted to lies. (She just doesn't know it yet, but that'll get her in bigger trouble. Dont tell her, okay? ^_~ ) Also, being a liar helps her interact better with strangers for intel gathering. When she's faced with strangers, you can bet your horses that the first thing she lies about is her affiliation with Otogakure, because she's learned that not a lot of people trusts shinobi from the Hidden Sound Village. So it's not too strange to see her pretending to be a civilian. It's also the reason why she's often without her hitai ate.
But you know what, Kiomi is inherently a good kid at the core. It’s just that she ended up growing up in an environment that didn’t allow for too much of that. This is why if you’ll notice in some of my threads, she’s actually quite nice to people in similar situations such as her.
4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?
I do, actually. Among all of my OCs, I have an attachment to Kiomi. It's probably because I've had her for so long that I can't get enough of her and her growth.
This has reached the point where, if ever I go RPing on another verse or when I return from a long Hiatus (like I have done as of recent) I always end up penning for Kiomi. It's not that I like my other muses any less, it's just my one brain cell has a tendency to pick what it likes and it does like this particular muse.
I'm surprised how well she can adapt to other verses as well, which makes it easier for me to integrate her in certain verses whenever I get a burnout for Naruto. For example, I've played her in Devil May Cry before wherein the two verses kind of semi-merged. It was fun. From shinobi, she casually just got a job in Devil May Cry for devil hunting, I got to make her her own Devil Arm, etc. I've played her in a Fate Stay Night setting where she's the master of the world's oldest bully and even if they dont get along very well, they're able to function as a master-servant team when the need arises. Otherwise she's Gil's personal mongrel. I think one of my favorite crossovers had to be in Magic The Gathering where she's an apprentice to Sorin Markov.
So yes, I do love writing for her, so much.
5. what’s your favorite thing about them?
My favorite thing about Kiomi is her personality. Specially now that I can play on the complication of her emotions.
The best thing that ever happened to her was the fact that she made bonds that she didn't want to lose while knowing for a fact that her the friends that she made belonged to the enemy side. That gave her a lot of things to think about. Decisions of whether she throws away years of loyalty for something new is something I enjoy playing out. Although eventually I know where she returns and whom she returns to, depending on how much she grows attached to the other muse and how willing both parties are to make it canon, that's the only time that it may change.
The good thing about the Next Gen setting is that Otogakure has better relations with Konoha...at least compared to when the entire Naruto series began. This allows Kiomi to have a little freedom in terms of socializing with the little friends that she actually made.
Love's an aspect that I want to explore, but yeaaah. That's hard for her because she dislikes the notion very much. Although I'm sure that if the right person comes along, the possibility of her opening up and feeling for the other person still exists. As much as there's an RP outside tumblr where she does love someone. I do have her as a mutli-ship so basically all bonds are different per verse.
One of my other favorite thing is that she works well with people she hates. It's really funny because I find that-- for starters, Kiomi dislikes Sasuke with a passion. This is pretty much a classic case of Genius vs Hard Work. Sasuke's pretty much a stark reminder of everything that she wants. He's chosen by Orochimaru, he's strong and talented, he's a cut above the rest, for sure. All her hard work gets blown out of the water along with her desire to be the vessel because a favorite exists. But above all, she's actually pretty jealous that he still has a family in the form of his brother. But yes, she hates him so much, but apparently whenever I roleplay with Sasuke's they seem to have certain areas for synergy. Mainly because Kiomi will prevent him from getting killed (that's her job). So she'll help him out, tend to his wounds, spar with him, etc. So there's a certain dynamic there which I enjoy. That's why, to be fairly honest, Sasuke interactions is probably one of my favorites because the rawness of Kiomi's feelings come out. And I really love the fact that I can make this hate canon so easily because she doesn’t need an initial validation from him. She can just hate him on her own until such a time when they meet. It’s great because the more he ignores her, the more she gets pissed off, the more she works harder. Even up to Next Gen, Sasuke’s still her goal, albeit with decreased animosity. *Cough*Frenemies Please*Cough*
( Here’s an ugly doodle from ten years ago.)
It's a freaking meme for me, but I love how she gets into a fight with every Katon user she meets. She didn't get Katon'd, sure, but her worst run in was probably with an Itachi who Tsukuyomi'd her. That was really fun to play out but stressful. They became associates after. xD
Also, her awful way of phrasing some things. Sometimes, when she has a hard time of expressing herself, she ends up blurting things that's easy to misinterpret. It's pretty funny, all the trouble it causes.
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Top 7 Law of Attraction Tips to Manifest More of What You Want!
By Heather Mathews Author of Manifestation Miracle
Everything is within your power, and your power is within you.” ― Janice Trachtman Charlie, a stay at home dad, works out of his living room while looking after his three-year-old toddler. As a social media consultant, he depends on his laptop to make a living. The problem is that his beat up computer was as old as his kid, and it was always glitching on him. So Charlie kept focusing on getting a new computer – a 13-inch Macbook Pro in particular. Eventually, his old laptop gave out, which made him panic a bit. So Charlie went online to look for another one while having the shiny new Macbook in the back of his mind. After hours of searching, he couldn’t find a reasonably priced model. So he was about to settle on another type of laptop and was close to closing the sale. But at the last minute, Charlie decided to check the price listings for a used version of the computer that he REALLY wanted. And just like that, someone was selling a six-month old Macbook Pro for a price significantly cheaper than a store-bought one. So Charlie got what he wanted, and at a better deal than he had hoped for! Now, Charlie’s incredible stroke of luck seemed like a fluke to him at first, but then another awesome thing happened shortly after. You see, Charlie was also looking for a new job because he felt stuck in his current one. So he had his sights set on another company with a position in mind. The truth was that he wasn’t all that confident he was even qualified for the position, but he went over the job description again and again. Charlie even printed the job ad and put it on his refrigerator door so he could see it every day. A couple of weeks after his interview, he got a call from the company and said he got the job. On Charlie’s first day, his new boss told him, “Honestly, your skillset isn’t an exact match for what we were looking for. But I really liked how you did at the interview…and besides, we can train you for the other things you need to learn, anyway. You have a great attitude and that’s more important than being 100% qualified for the job.” Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person’s Secret To Get Everything You’ve Ever Wished For Is It Coincidence - Or Something Else at Work? It’s easy to brush off Charlie’s streak as plain dumb luck, but could he have WILLED his good fortune to happen? After all, the common element between getting his new laptop and the new job was that he focused on both things intensely. Charlie kept it in his thoughts all the time. More than that, he created a detailed picture of his desired state in his mind. He imagined what it would be like to hold his new laptop and how he’d feel working in the new job he was aiming for. Charlie visualized both scenarios so vividly that he could almost taste it. Whether he knew it or not, he was putting the basic principle of The Law of Attraction to work - and it served him well. As the name implies, this law decrees that “like attracts like.” There’s a global movement behind this belief, and it says that the kind of thoughts you send out to the Universe emit a certain frequency – be it helpful or harmful. And you have the power to control the wavelength you operate on, which in turn attracts circumstances that match your energy. So by focusing on positive outcomes and giving out positive vibrations, you can turn your thoughts into a tangible force of good in your life! On the other side of the coin, dwelling on the negative aspects of life and focusing your attention on the things you resent attracts even MORE negativity into your world. Like Charlie, you can think of something specific you want, and hold that image in your mind. Create all the details that bring the picture to life, then believe that you already have it. When you go about your day thinking that the object of your desire is already a matter of fact… …this sends out a clear, strong message to the Universe that you truly WANT and BELIEVE it. But this is just the tip of the iceberg; there are other ways to raise your frequency even higher. By following these 7 Tips to Create the Life You’ve Always Dreamed Of, you’ll naturally attract everything you’ve ever wanted – and MORE: #1: Set aside time to focus on what you desire The first habit is simple enough: give yourself at least 5-7 minutes daily to visualize the things you want to turn into reality. You can do this by finding a quiet place to contemplate, then sit upright with your eyes closed. While keeping your desires front and center in your thoughts, breathe deeply in and out. Focus on your breath and the sensations your body is feeling, and use that as anchor to keep your thoughts from straying. If your mind does go on a tangent, gently bring yourself back to your breathing AND your desired future state. You’ll get a lot of benefits from doing this for just a few minutes every day. For instance, many studies have proven the stress-reducing properties of meditation. A study at the Massachusetts General Hospital showed that people who tried their meditation program experienced significantly less health problems than before. They ended up not having to see a doctor or go to the emergency room, saving them about $2,300 in medical costs for EACH person! On top of that of course, meditation also helps you keep your eye on the prize and give you the determination to make it happen. Some people however, have trouble meditating and get easily distracted. If you need a little guidance with this habit, I’ve got a special gift for you – but more on that later… #2: Be grateful and practice gratitude Ever hear the expression “Thank your lucky stars”? Back in ancient times, people believed that celestial bodies played a huge role in someone’s destiny. Today, many still believe that these same external forces affect our lives. The Law of Attraction draws from this belief, and it states that we should be grateful whenever the Universe sends something good our way. This is another way of fine tuning your frequency. When you actively pay attention to the positive things that happen around you, it acts like a magnet that attracts similar things. And by being thankful for your blessings, you’re sending a powerful message to the Universe that essentially translates to: “Thank you, that was awesome! More please!” #3: Take a leap of faith The main challenge that people have with manifesting their desires is dealing with the world of the intangible. It can be daunting (and even discouraging) to imagine a future outcome that hasn’t happened yet. It takes some faith to push past that hazy uncertainty, and not everyone has it in them to do so. So you need to check your inner Doubting Thomas at the door for a moment and appreciate how other people have used the Law of Attraction to succeed. Consider the great figures from the past: Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela, Marie Curie, Vincent Van Gogh and Nikola Tesla. All of them were shining examples of how they used their mind and willpower to create something valuable in this world. They raised their own frequency and as result, had a different energy from the rest of humanity. Even though they’re gone, their legacy lives on, and we can still feel its impact today. It’s all because they took a brave step into the unknown. Even though they couldn’t see how their work would ripple through the next several decades, they still powered through. The skepticism that people have is the result of growing up. As you get older and have more experiences, a certain amount of jadedness sets in. That’s why you won’t find any of that in kids. Just think about how children play make-believe. When they yell, “The floor is lava!” you can bet they’ll be scrambling for the nearest couch or chair to avoid getting “burned.” On a certain level, they TRULY believe that the floor is literally molten rock. They can see the hot, glowing lava, burning everything its path… …and they do everything to stay out of its way. That’s the power the mind and imagination in action. Learn how to see the world on this level again. That way, you can see a bright future before it happens – then go on to make it a reality. Click Here To Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life #4: Keep on keeping’ on One of the realities of this world is that you can’t eliminate adversity. It’s always going to be an uphill climb at some point, especially when you’ve just taken on a new challenge. You’ve been eating right and working out, but the pounds aren’t quite flying off as you’d hoped. You started a side income project, but your cash flow hasn’t been anything more than a trickle. You’ve tried beating your depression with exercise, therapy and medication, but the dark thoughts still charge at you like a freight train. That’s called RESISTANCE. It will always be there, even as you dig deep and do everything in your power to manifest the reality you want. Being a grown-up means expecting those external circumstances to work against you. Your best response? PUSH BACK. Keep your inner world together, and the outside world will follow suit. Dumbledore once told Harry Potter, “Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.” Remember: the hero of the story is never a one-person army. Harry had Hermione and Ron. Luke had Obi-Wan and Yoda. And you don’t have to fly solo in YOUR journey. Think about the people in your inner circle – are they giving you the energy, motivation and inspiration to succeed? If the company you keep sneers at growth and being better, maybe it’s time to look for other friends to round out your squad. Seek people who lead by example and can show you how to overcome that resistance in your life. Learn from them and let their enthusiasm rub off you. While you’re at it, use technology to connect to like-minded folks who can help you in your quest. Open your phone or laptop and fire up YouTube, Vimeo or any other video streaming site. TED talks, self-help lectures and tons of other empowering content are literally at your fingertips. The Universe has too much abundance for you to ignore. We’re part of a vast human network, and our collective energy affects everyone else in ways we can’t yet fully comprehend. This network has always been around; the Internet merely accelerated it. Tap into it and unleash its power. #5: Tune out your Negative Ned (or Nancy) There’s always that voice in the back of your head that kicks in when life gets tough. It loves whispering things in your ear, usually at the height of your frustration and despair: - “You totally blew that one, why do you even bother trying?” - “You had one job and you screwed it up like always…I’m not even surprised.” - “Getting back on the horse, are we? I give it a week before you go back to your old ways. Better to quit while you’re ahead!” - “You actually thought he was complimenting you? Oh, bless your heart…it’s called ‘small talk’ and ‘being nice’.” If you’re like the rest of the human species, you’re going to run into those nasty folks called insecurity, self-doubt and fear. They’re going to take up space in your head and try to drown you out with their noise. Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet and scholar, knew this well. It his poem “The Guest House”, he spoke an ancient truth about the human condition. He likened all our thoughts and feelings – both good and bad – as visitors who stopped by the guest house of the soul. And this line struck me the most: “The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.” Once I understood what it meant, I realized that I didn’t have to resist it. I could simply let my obnoxious guests do their thing, and see them out. It’s not about covering your ears and going, “La la la la! I can’t hear you!” Acknowledging their existence in your head is NOT the same as letting them win. The world’s greatest achievers go through bouts of darkness and anger like everyone else. The main difference is that they use their failures as material for an instruction manual called “What NOT to Do and How to Do It Better The Next Time Around”. #6: Ditch your story You shouldn’t stop at managing your negative thoughts, however. You need to peel back another layer and go deeper. Here’s the thing: you grew up on a set of beliefs, whether you’re aware of it or not. Your parents, teachers, friends and pretty much everyone you knew growing up contributed to your programming. You don’t know it, but you operate on this programming on a daily basis. And it influences every decision you make – and how you choose to see the world. Now this can be a good thing if you grew up around people who were positive, motivated and had a good outlook on life… …but this is the real world we’re talking about, so NOT everyone had that kind of effect on you. Somewhere along your journey, someone discouraged you in a subtle way, or put some sort of label that you can’t shake off. Words like “Underachiever”, “Oddball”, “Loser”, “Nerd”, “Small Fry”, “Ugly Duckling” and “Black Sheep” come to mind… …and each one is damaging in its own toxic way. Sadly, most people carry this invisible weight their whole life. But starting today, you can lay those bricks on the ground and walk away for good. You don’t have to carry that weight for anyone, especially not for THEM. Stop living your story based on the false narrative that your negative programming created. All those preconceived beliefs need to go if you want to attract happiness and prosperity in your life. I’ve seen people achieve INCREDIBLE things – even the impossible – just by doing this one thing. Lionel, a heroin addict from Michigan, was in and out of jail for the longest time. But after overdosing within an inch of his life, he decided to ditch his old story. Even after everyone gave up on Lionel and called him a “screw-up”, he turned it all around. He let go of the labels that people had been putting on him for YEARS… …and Lionel decided he didn’t have to be any of those things anymore. Lionel created a NEW story for himself – one where he was finally free of his crippling addiction and lived a clean, sober life. What kind of story do YOU want to live out? #7: Make your affirmations “pop” You might have heard of people making declarations about themselves to manifest them as truth, and not just as an opinion. When you affirm some truth about yourself, it validates the awesomeness within you. Words of kindness heal the soul and help forgive past failures. In short, it’s about LOVING yourself. After all, you can’t give what you don’t have. However, saying “Boy I sure love myself!” doesn’t quite do the trick. To make your affirmations stick in your subconscious, it needs to have a little something extra. Don’t stop at “I love me!”- take it up another notch to really drive the point home. Try these on for size: - “I love myself so much that I want to use my gifts and share them with the world. I want to take this love inside me and use it to lift other people up.” - “By sharing the love I have, I possess the power to change myself for the better, and the world around me.” - “I am love, light, peace and prosperity. Anger, hate and scarcity have no power over me.” - Aside from loving yourself, you can also infuse a dash of humor in your affirmations. Who says you have to be so grim with his Law of Attraction stuff, anyway? When you add a bit of levity while you affirm yourself, it shushes your Negative Ned (or Nancy) into silence. Try coming up with statements like these: - “I’m so awesome that I kick mediocrity in its big fat butt!” - “I’ve come here to be awesome at everything I do and kick major butt. And I’m all out of butts to kick.” - “Did you say something, self-doubt? Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness!” It’s all a matter of finding the right attitude and tone that suits you. Take a crack at making these affirmations, and you’ll soon find your true inner voice. What matters is that you inject your affirmations with a serious amount of attitude, and above all, ENERGY. Without that energy, you won’t give your messages enough “juice” to reach the Universe and show up on its radar. Those who practice the Law of Attraction often combine these affirmations with their meditation sessions to hit two birds with one stone. And the results are nothing short of phenomenal. Now, about that gift I promised you earlier… To make the MOST out of your meditation, I’ve got a series of audio tracks to help you manifest incredible benefits in your life. If you want to be the picture of health… …naturally create wealth wherever you go… …and enjoy authentic, fulfilling relationships… …you can achieve ALL of that by simply claiming your FREE gift below: 100% FREE Meditation MP3 Audio Tracks – DOWNLOAD THEM HERE
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Web Hosting Types and How to the Choose Best Hosting Service For Your Business
We understand your curiosity to truly get your website online and begin selling your product or services there, sharing the world your story or simply sharing some pictures/snaps and experiences with family and friends. Before you receive started take a flash, read our post on kinds of web hosting services and get an understanding of the good qualities and cons of each. All hosting services aren't distributed equally. No body surpasses another, they're specific according to your needs. All of them have merits and demerits. However assured hosting plans are better fitted to certain kinds of websites. This may base on the traffic you're looking for, security you may need and your data storage needs.
Before choosing your final steps or giving a heads up, await a moment as you've got a great product and great marketing plan so how can the type of website hosting determine your success or failure? In brief, if you select a bad plan, although you can make changes as time goes by they could be costly [you will undoubtedly be lost with credibility etc]. Consider that the normal internet user is a pretty inconsistent. They look for instant results and if your internet site is having issues because your internet site is hosted on an untrustworthy provider; you've chosen an agenda that doesn't provide enough bandwidth transfer or memory storage well, you then will be responsible for diminishing your customer's base. If your requirements are low like If you're just posting some family photos or events online you then won't need very much of bandwidth or disk space. So, why it? A number of the hosting are extremely affordable and some even free depending in your application choice. Selection of the wrong type hosting could determine the growth or failure of one's business. Analyse first the type of hosting you need and then decide which side must be moved on.
What Is really a Web Hosting?
Before we start discussing these topics on hosting you'll have to choose from we'll start by explaining what web hosting is and why it's required. It's so simple to elaborate. Whenever you get yourself a domain name from reputed domain name provider, you need to park or host that domain with opting server space on web. Its required because once you upload your entire website data online, you need that space. Reason is indeed simple as your website has all incoming in addition to outgoing data demand like database requests, files downloading/uploading etc thus you must have web space to govern all these. It isn't much different from the way in which your personal computer works, only your files in your website will undoubtedly be offered to anyone online. In the same way your personal computer has files in your drive, your website has files in your server. When someone use of your website they are able to view your files. A web site is some files/data that's shared on the Internet and a website hosting provider is a company that holds or stores your files in ways they are available online [Hence its a necessity for a website server to available up for 24 hours if you wish to be visible always]. Based on the type of web hosting plan that you select you'll be given an absolute quantity of bandwidth and storage web space.
What's Bandwidth in Web Hosting?
What's space for storing?
You definitely have to appreciate this bandwidth first as based with this, you will have the ability to choose what's your need on web server. A simple understanding of bandwidth could save you some time and money i.e. its a small investment from your side in grasping it.
Bandwidth could be the sum of data that your site will undoubtedly be authorized to transfer. You'll use a quantity of bandwidth, or data transfer each time somebody visits your site. So to calculate the quantity of bandwidth you may need say your website is only one page.It probably isn't going to be, but it'll offer you a basic understanding. If the file size of the webpage is say 10k and you'll be expecting 1,000 visitors a month. Then your bandwidth or data transfer limit will undoubtedly be 10 MB. The bandwidth offered to your internet site may also differ according to the type of web hosting plan/type that you choose, so it's in your court to comprehend it. Space for storage is the quantity of data you'll be allowed to store on the internet server. We repeat, if you have a few files i.e. you possess a small website, you'll needless to say need reduced space when compared with a more substantial site.
Free Web Hosting
Why Not Host For Free If Someone is Providing?
Its sound really very cool to really have a Free Web Hosting as you can find lots of providers obtainable in the market. You ever contemplate it i.e. why would anyone want to provide free hosting? It would appear that the cost of offering hosting could be fairly expensive. How can they manage it?
Matter is s simple, why someone will provide you such free services!! Answer is "Advertisements" If you registered for a free of charge hosting service, you'll generally receives a commission ads in the sidebar [Left, right etc] of your internet site, similar to they do on Facebook paid ads i.e. sponsored. Being truly a free customer, you can't make sure they are remove/edit etc as you have to have keep them with your website. This really is the key reason why they provide you with a free of charge web hosting. Often times it happens that you get a sub-domain as a free of charge web hosting. With free hosting you receive a sub-domain rather than a TLD [Top Level Domain Name]. Your website naming is essential and needed for branding your business. Instead of getting a domain name such as yourdomainname.com. You'll get something which looks like yourdomainname.freehostingsiteprovider.com. Having a subscription domain may make your internet site seem less professional and unstructured. Free hosting could be a good preference if you're just sharing photos/personal stuffs with your family/colleagues and they do not want the cost or mind the ads. It would also be great choice for many who write personal blogs and it's an effective way to judge the depth of water with an individual foot. Shared Hosting
Shared hosting-as the name itself suggests that you are going to host your website files on a server that keeps files from a great many other websites provider i.e. obtaining a shared hosting plan will signify you share a server with possibly hundreds of other websites. This sort of hosting plans are cheaper while not owing them privately and its about many website owners. This sort of hosting greatly minimises costs for all. The plans are very reasonable; many can be bought for as low as $4-$5/month with respect to the storage and bandwidth you'll require.
Shared hosting is acceptable for small businesses and personal websites because they are really. Choose your hosting company carefully as much a times He's responsible for your online success. If the hosting company serves and places too many websites on a single server, this may cause performance problems. If performance is a case, your website will suffer with being reputed likewise via search engines results pages. These could be slow loading times or even the worst case scenario your internet site could be offline for extended periods of time.
What's a Virtual Private Server - (VPS)
A Virtual Private Server could be understood at a glance via between shared hosting and a dedicated server. A VPS hosting company has a large server and segments it to many smaller servers [A slab is divided in many but with a complete smaller slabs]. Thus offering a sort of smaller dedicated server. A digital server doesn't provide you with the physical space or the bandwidth that the dedicated server does, but it is a step up front. Adding more security, access and bandwidth than you'd be getting with shared hosting [Promised Performance]. You can move from shared hosting want to VPS if your internet site starts receiving high traffic, and your allowance isn't ready to bear a price on dedicated server.
What's Dedicated Hosting?
Because the name itself explain that its a completely private hosting services. Its dedicatedly purchased server for hosting website privately. The client of this type of servers is sole property of owner. This sort of hosting allows a customer to own complete access to at least one server. Managed hosting lets you to lease the entire server [For a particular amount of time]. You'll have the ability to install the OS that best suits your company needs.
Large businesses or websites that need a greater amount of security is the greater choice.
In conclusion of this information is to select your web hosting provider wisely and according to your company needs. You can have use of various web hosting companies online hence it's as much as the business's ratings/reviews and services based on that you might have a final choice.
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How long have you and your partner been together? I knwo you've said it's been years but how long exactly?
It depends a little on how you look at it, because there was a big gap in there for a while. Our current stint is around a decade, but if you count when we FIRST started RPing, it’s actually closer to two decades.
Here, let me just do it like this:
1997-2005(ish): Yeah, my RPing dates back this far (probably farther back than some of you have been alive, oof). Back then the internet was still SUPER new, so there weren’t a lot of ways to hang out online beyond message boards and chatrooms – and you were NEVER supposed to go in chatrooms, because that’s where all the stalkers were! However I’d come across this Sonic webpage that I thought was super cool, and in contact info of the gal that ran it was linked a chat where she was known to hang out. It was back during the days of GeoCities (before Yahoo even owned it), and there were only a handful of chatrooms on the site in total. Among them was a room simply called “Games Chat.” I decided to take the chance and went in hoping to find the girl that ran the website. I never did, but this was my first introduction to RPing!
So for those who’ve never done this format, it’s kind of a free-for-all. Whatever screen name you log in with is your character, and everything happens in real time. Your turn is basically one line, and it can be dialogue, *actions*, or both if you could fit them. Yes, the turns are small, but the chatroom format meant that turns were taken rapidly, and it actually covered a LOT of ground in a short amount of time. You could do a single session and call that a day, or you could keep meeting up with the same people over and over to do a continuous game/story. There were basically no hard rules, just ones you established yourselves either before you started or mid-game ((via talking OOC)). Regulars came to know each other while other faces slipped in and out in a flash. Canon characters and OCs basically shared equal footing. It was exciting and fast-paced and I loved it.
Over time things changed a bit; GeoCities was bought up by Yahoo, and at that time “Games Chat” was changed to “Anime Capsule,” since I guess someone on the back end noticed that we were talking/RPing way more about anime than about video games. After a couple years of that, though, Yahoo decided to shut the chatroom down all together – but fear not, one of our users set up our own Anime Capsule on his own sever! We continued there for a few more years, and the chatroom itself gained more and more features that made it an even cooler place, but I eventually drifted away from here as other regulars gradually dropped off. At this point, I lost most contact with my current partner.
Sadly, so far as I’m aware this chatroom no longer exists.
2006-2011(ish): With the Anime Capsule behind me, I was invited by @fini-mun to a forum RP with a bunch of my friends (many of whom are even here on Tumblr now – hi guys!). This was my first time using a message board for gaming purposes, but I really liked it. The downside is it’s much, much slower than chatroom RP, but it was fun to get to use actual prose and narration. This RP is what made me realize just how much I enjoy writing, and it’s more or less when I transitioned to seeing myself as a writer instead of an artist (which is funny in a way, because looking back on my old threads there I was SO TERRIBLE, but hey that’s growth I guess).
For those who’ve never done forum RP, it’s MUCH more structured. There’s an area specifically for character profiles, another area specifically for OOC discussion, and then an area for the actual RPs themselves. Each thread is a specific area and time, and the board maintains a single, continuous continuity. If a character enters one thread, they can’t simultaneously be in another, because all threads are part of the same canon. When all characters leave a thread, that particular thread is archived, and then a new one is started whenever a character comes back to the area. This particular forum also had an “off-canon” area, which was specifically for silly OOC threads, “what if” scenarios, or ongoing jokes.
This was a SUPER tight community for me. We were a fairly small group and kept the forum private, and only got new users if one of us specifically invited someone. It operated pretty well for a few years, despite being a group of only about 15-20 people. I eventually left this group after an incident went down which changed things in a way that could never really be undone. The forum was different, the group was different, and most importantly, I was different. I did my best to linger for a while but it just wasn’t working for me anymore.
This forum has undergone a few changes, but still exists! You can find it here, or message @jammerlee if you have questions!
2008-2010(ish): In the midst of the forum RP, I’d reconnected with several of my Anime Capsule friends on AIM, and we intermittently continued some of our games via AIM itself. This was nice for me, because it was like a throwback to my chatroom RP days, but on a much smaller scale. At this time I reconnected with my current partner and invited him to the forum RP, but he declined, as forum RPing just isn’t his jam.
For the most part, this didn’t result in anything particularly noteworthy, as it was largely one-off instances and a lot of OOC talk. I liked the focused one-on-one aspect of it all, and I definitely appreciated the rapid progress you can make in IMRP, since that was one of my favorite things about chatroom RPing. So, even though I was still at the forum at the time, this also became a regular RP method for me on the side. Over the years I intermittently attempted to get a couple of friends from the forum RP to IMRP with me too ( @fini-mun and @jammerlee being my biggest targets), but in most cases these attempts fizzled. I had a really fun Knuckles & Rouge story going for a while with Deebs, but that eventually died out because of…
2010-2013(ish): …the arrival of Tumblr! I ended up here due to another invitation from @fini-mun, I’m assuming because we’d both left the forum RP and our IMRPing was inconsistent. It’s probably needless to say, but Deebs made a Finitevus character blog and I made a Sally character blog.
The thing is, I actually had a really tough time with Tumblr RP format. I just really didn’t like the serialized nature of the posts because it made it too difficult (in my opinion) to read through things in order, and nevermind the fact that there’s relevant info spread across multiple blogs! It just really wasn’t my cup of tea, but I still wanted to play here with the friends I’d made, so I decided to make my own version of Tumblr RP: I wrote my character blog as though Sally herself was blogging and getting used to using the internet for play instead of work. This turned out to be WILDLY successful, to the point that I even got a lot of fanmail from former Sally-haters telling me I’d softened or even completely changed their view of the character!
Although I don’t update it anymore, the blog itself still exists, and can be found here!
2010-present: This is the current RP with my current partner. Since I was no longer at the forum RP and Deebs had moved away from IMRP, I reached out to my ye olde partner and asked if he would have any interest in RPing a crackship that Deebs and I had been talking about (aka Knuckles x Finitevus). He was intrigued by the idea and we decided to give it a go, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s turned out to be the most stable game of our LIVES. We’ve been IMRPing consistently for the last decade or so, originally on AIM and then eventually moving to Discord when AIM bit the dust. We don’t RP every day like we used to when we were kids, and we take breaks from the main story to do AUs now and then, but for the most part we’re still chugging along and have no intentions of stopping anytime soon!
And even though these RPs are not public performance, apparently I’m writing summary TV shows of them now, so you can view those here at my blog as I intermittently work on them – and while you’re at it, you can support me on Patreon or Ko-Fi because these things take a lot of time and effort and it would really help me pay my bills!
#Sallymun RPs#sorry this ended up being so long#but hey anything worth doing is worth overdoing#Anonymous
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Orphans of the Storm: Attachment, Trauma and the Developmental Trajectories of Lelouch and Nunnally in Code Geass
Alternatively titled, Matt Has a Lot of Thoughts About the Lamperouges. 7000+ words of thoughts, to be exact. Some of them might even be semi-intelligent. Admittedly, much of this was written from a hospital office while procrastinating writing patient journals for actual patients who are real humans and not fictional characters. Thank you to my supervisor for not supervising me very much.
I. Introduction
First, let us first briefly set the stage. The story of Code Geass is set in an alternate universe where the social-darwinist, imperialist superpower The Holy Britannian Empire is ruling large parts of the world. Lelouch and Nunnally vi Britannia are born into the royal family as children of 98th Emperor Charles zi Britannia and one of his consorts, Marianne. After their mother is assassinated in a terrorist attack at the Imperial Palace, an incident which leaves Nunnally blind and paralysed from the waist down, the two are sent to Japan as political hostages. The Britannian Empire then invades Japan shortly after they arrive, and they must seek refuge with the Ashfords, a wealthy family with ties to their mother Marianne. Presumed dead by the rest of the royal family, they take on the surname Lamperouge and begin to live in hiding in the now-colonised Japan, renamed Area 11.
These events constitute what is to become Lelouch’s raison d’être through the entire series - finding out who assassinated his mother, and creating a safer, kinder environment for his sister to grow up in. Nunnally is an extremely, and I cannot stress this enough, extremely important figure for Lelouch through the entire series (to the point where it’s kind of a joke in most spin-off material). He’s her main caregiver along with their maid Sayako, and protecting her is his primary goal - often at the expense of his own safety, his friends’ safety, and/or massive collateral damage. In this essay, I will analyse their relationship with their parents and each other through the lens of attachment theory, and discuss how these dynamics shape their developmental trajectories as they grow up. I will focus on two domains of development in particular: (1) emotional regulation and (2) identity. Based on this analysis, I’ll make the argument that Nunnally, despite being the one experiencing the most trauma, ended up more well-adjusted than Lelouch. Furthermore, although the series places much emphasis on how Lelouch is the one protecting Nunnally, he is actually more dependent on his sister than she is on him. I will also discuss how these central themes tie into Lelouch’s goals and political ideology.
II. Ode to My Family: The Fundamentals of Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is a psychological theory originating from the work of John Bowlby, concerning the bond between caregivers and their children. Put simply, Bowlby proposed that children are biologically predisposed to form deep, lasting bonds with their caregivers, and this bond has an important influence on subsequent development. In the attachment relationship, the caregiver functions as both a secure base from which to explore (for example, a child feeling safe when playing knowing a parent is nearby), and safe haven to turn to for emotional support (if they get scared or hurt when playing). Caregivers, on their end, facilitate secure attachment through moderate and appropriate stimulation of the child, warmth, mutually responsive interactions, and other behaviours that promote ‘connectedness’. Especially interesting is a trait called mind-mindedness, which can be described as a caregivers ability to conceptualise their child as an independent person, understand their mental/emotional state and respond appropriately. Important to note about attachment bonds is that they’re not “horizontal” - the caregiver and child aren’t on the same “level” as mutual attachment figures to each other, but the caregiver (as the older, wiser, and more experienced person who is able to provide care) will be a figure that the child can rely on.
A healthy attachment bond has a variety of important functions. It promotes the growth of self-reliance (which promotes independency), increases capacity for emotion regulation, promotes later social competence (such as empathy and mutual relationships), and is important for later identity development. This happens through the acquisition of so-called internal working models, that the child employs through their life. To simplify a bit, think of attachment as the mechanism by which caregivers, through their behaviour, teach children what to expect from the world around them, and what strategies to employ to best cope with it. At its core, it is about seeking security and safety - a form of healthy and adaptive dependence that provides a solid foundation and sense of security from which independence can grow
There are three main classifications of attachment bonds - secure, insecure and disorganised. Securely attached children will develop positive internal working models, where world is a fundamentally safe place, they are loved and worthy of that love. Interactions with the caregivers are frequent, mutual and predictable. For insecure attachment, there are two subcategories: avoidant and ambivalent. Insecure-ambivalent attachment is associated with unpredictable interaction styles, where some interactions between caregiver and child may be warm and mutually responsive, while others are more detached or unpredictable. This leads to frustration and confusion, and an ambivalent relationship. Insecure-avoidant attachment, on the other hand, is typically associated with a non-responsive and uninvolved form of care, or an absent caregiver. In this case, the child may feel rejected and like they cannot rely on anyone. Disorganised attachment simply means there is a lack of any organised form of attachment, but that’s not going to be relevant here so let’s ignore that one.
In summary:
Did you really think you were getting through this one without at least ONE chart? (Note: ambivalent and resistant attachment is the same thing)
Also, important note before moving on from this bit: (1) Attachment is not the be-all end-all for positive/negative developmental outcomes, and (2) I’ll obviously be a bit quicker to assume correlation and draw conclusions than I would in real life, because in my mind applying this stuff to literary analysis vs. applying it to real people are two completely different things. Fiction consists of a series of deliberate choices of storytelling and elements you can easily pick apart and draw lines between (preferably with red string on a corkboard wall, while looking slightly manic), whereas people are, like, more complicated and stuff - nature and nurture and all that.
Now, with attachment theory in mind, let’s have a look at the evil Britannian disaster parents.
III. The Mother We Share: (In)Secure Attachment in the Imperial Palace
Before taking a deep dive into Lelouch and Nunnally’s relationship with one another, it’s essential to discuss their relationships with their parents. Unfortunately for me, there really isn’t much canon material regarding their lives prior to Marianne’s death and the subsequent exile in Japan. However, even with the limited information available, I think it’s fairly safe to say neither Charles nor Marianne deserve a parent-of-the-year award - a point cleverly foreshadowed by me when I referred to them as evil disasters just a few sentences ago.
As for Charles, I hardly need to even make a case that he probably wasn’t a great father. It’s never outright stated in the series, but I’m going to assume they had minimal or no contact with Charles. The main reason behind this is: why would they? He had 108 (!) consorts with whom he had many children, and was busy ruling the largest empire in the world. And as if that wasn’t enough, Lelouch and Nunnally weren’t even particularly high up in in the line of succession and would have been unlikely to ever rule in their lifetime (if it hadn’t been for, er, circumstances). Furthermore, because of his grand plan to fuse humanity into one collective unconscious through the Ragnarök Connection, none of this would matter to him anyway. Additionally, I think his lack of contact with his children is very apparent through the way Lelouch interacts with his father when confronting him about Marianne’s death, which I’ll get back to.
So, we can reasonably conclude Charles was an uninvolved/absent caregiver. However, things get a little more interesting with Marianne.
This isn’t relevant to the topic or anything, I just think it’s neat how they made Lelouch so visually similar to his mother. In addition to physical traits, Marianne’s dress here has a really similar structure to what would later become her sons rebellion outfit of choice. She even has a chess-piece-esque hat to go with. Then again, I suppose the alternative was making him visually similar to Charles, and that wouldn’t make for a lot of good fanservice now would it. Anyway, this image description is too long.
As mentioned, avenging his mother’s death is one of the most significant driving forces for Lelouch throughout the series. Her assassination impacted him greatly, both in and of itself and through the harm it caused Nunnally. Whenever she’s brought up, they both seem to get visibly downhearted, and there’s never any indication they remember her anything but fondly. In picture drama 22.25 (from their time as children in the Imperial Palace), the Britannian siblings find a commemorative plate that belongs to her in Euphie’s room. They start to bicker over it, because Nunnally wants to have it herself, while Lelouch thinks Euphie should keep it because it belongs to her. This all indicates that the royal children admired Marianne, and she was obviously an important figure to them both. Through this idolisation, as well as Lelouch’s obsession with what happened at the Imperial Palace, the narrative seems to want us to assume she was a good parent.
However, there are a few things that call into question how reliable of a narrator Lelouch actually is concerning Marianne. Towards the end of the series, it’s revealed that she is actually very much alive, and completely on board with Charles’ Ragnarök plan - making her one of the series’ main antagonists. During Lelouch’s final confrontation with his parents in C’s World in S2 E21, she is unable (or unwilling) to see how faking her death, traumatising her children, shipping them off to a country the Empire promptly invaded without ever making sure they’re still alive, and then trying to convince them to get on board with her human instrumentality plan is wrong. As her wiki bluntly states: “She only superficially loves her children and will not hesitate to kill them if they get in her way.” Taking this information about her character into account, I consider it more likely that the reason Lelouch and Nunnally idolised Marianne was either (1) because they based their impression largely on her reputation, rather than because she genuinely was a loving mother, or (2) she was a very good actor.
At least she provided some strategies to prepare her children for having to cope with the emotional trauma she was about to inflict on them.
How to make sense of their relationship with Marianne from an attachment perspective? I think this is largely up to interpretation due to lack of pre-series material. Lelouch and Nunnally both seem to like and look up to her, but that does not necessarily indicate secure attachment. I would argue they had an insecure relationship with Marianne, and that argument is based on two things. First, her personality traits and actions (rather than Lelouch and Nunnally’s accounts of her): she blatantly uses her children as pawns for her plan, and doesn’t care all that much that they were suffering as a result. Even though she does argue all her planning was well-intentioned, this act quickly fall apart when Lelouch challenges her. As C.C. tells her, “the only people you love are yourselves”. Calling this sort of behaviour “poor mind-mindedness” or “lack of parental warmth” is an understatement - I simply don’t see a scenario where Marianne would genuinely care.
Secondly, I’d argue you can infer it from Lelouch’s patterns of behaviour as he grows older. Many of his actions, and the themes surrounding him as a character, could be seen as a manifestation of insecure attachment - his attitude towards Nunnally, attitude towards his friends in the student council, his emotionality, and the general theme of a fragmented identity, to mention some. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Point is, there is good reason to believe Lelouch or Nunnally had any form of secure attachment bond to either of their parents, and this has some implications for their development as the series goes on.
IV. Abandoned by the Empire: Trauma and Parentification
In addition to not having the best relationships with their parents to begin with, Lelouch and Nunnally were then burdened with more baggage after their mother’s death. In Nunnally’s case, her trauma from the incident was primarily physical (blindness and paralysation of her legs), due to her being literally in Marianne’s arms as she was shot. Lelouch was a witness, and escaped without physical injury. Afterwards, while his sister is still in hospital, he takes it upon himself to confront his father about what happened, and accuses him of having allowed, even facilitated, the assassination through purposefully neglecting security measures that day.
While Nunnally was by all means most harmed by the attack, it is here in the aftermath I’d argue Lelouch takes his “main blow” in the parental trauma department. When confronted, Charles gets angry and tells Lelouch that everything in his life has been handed to him by virtue of being a child of the royal family, and thus he’s never truly accomplished anything - he might as well be dead, and therefore has no right to doubt or disobey him. This is an especially cruel statement in the context of the social-darwinist Britannia, where the strength to survive by your own measures is seen as highly important, maybe even the only thing that truly is important. Lelouch then visibly flinches and falls back when Charles stands up, in a manner that seems outright terrified. Keep in mind, all this is happening in front of the Royal Court.
This scene in particular is the main reason I cannot imagine Lelouch or Nunnally having any kind of relationship with Charles prior to the incident, much less a secure and healthy one. You’d think the threshold for a young child to turn and publicly accuse his father of premeditated murder in front of the Britannian Royal Court would be astronomically high, especially if he actually liked and trusted him. Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, one of the most important functions of the caregiver is being a secure base in difficult and unsafe situations, which means that children typically tend to turn towards their parents during situations where they feel scared. Flinching away (so severely he even falls back, with a horrified expression on his face), rather than seeking closure, is highly indicative of insecure attachment/parental neglect.
As if all this wasn’t enough, Lelouch and Nunnally are then separated from all their siblings to be relocated to Japan as political hostages. Again, the pre-series material is pretty thin, but throughout the series there are indications that they had good relationships with some of their siblings. For example, Lelouch recalls playing chess with Schneizel, and possibly had some kind of relationship with Clovis judging by their conversation before Lelouch kills him. Both Lelouch and Nunnally also seem to have been very close with Euphie - in Stage 22.25, they’re playing in her room and don’t want to go to sleep because they’re having so much fun. Lelouch even refers to Euphie as the first girl he ever loved (let’s just... not unpack this one). Point is, not only do they get traumatised by and separated from their parents (whom they already had an insecure relationship with), but they’re also ripped away from their entire network of social support, except for each other.
This image is so fucking sad. Fuck.
So, when Lelouch and Nunnally arrive in Japan, they’re on their own. And because he is older, and because of Nunnally’s disability, Lelouch ends up taking on most of the responsibility. He carries her up the stairs when they arrive at the shrine, washes their clothing, buys their food, and so on. In addition to these practical tasks, he also tries to comfort his sister emotionally and seems to also feel responsible for her well-being - for example, when discovering their lodgings were small and quite sad-looking, he tries to shield Nunnally from it by lying and telling her it looks like Euphie’s room. When Suzaku first meets Nunnally, Lelouch instantly runs into the room because he heard a noise, and freaks out at Suzaku because he thinks he’s going to harm her. For all intents and purposes, he steps into a caregiver role for his sister - an attachment figure, one might even say. This shift in their dynamic becomes very apparent when comparing their relationship in Japan and onwards, to the aforementioned bickering-over-a-plate incident in Euphie’s room, where they were fighting and playing like siblings.
This phenomenon is sometimes called parentification, in which the absence of adult figures providing sufficient care causes one child to bear more responsibility than is normal for the age, and step into the role of “parent”. Parentification can be adaptive and healthy with concrete/practical tasks, in small periods of time and with plenty support, for example pre-teens babysitting their younger cousins. Suffice to say, Lelouch had none of those things. He is Nunnally’s sole contact, made worse by himself by being stubborn and not wanting to let anyone else in to help. Additionally, plenty of other risk factors for destructive parentification is present - the tasks are diffuse, all-consuming and way above the level appropriate for his age, he gets no sort of recognition, reward, or help, it lasts a long period of time (permanently), generational lines become somewhat blurred, and his own needs end up taking second priority to him. And, as you’ll remember from the attachment theory section, this kind of relationship is not horizontal in nature - Lelouch and Nunnally don’t provide each other mutual support of this nature, but rather Lelouch is the one providing a function for Nunnally.
In the beginning of this section, I mentioned that Nunnally’s trauma as a result of Marianne’s death was primarily physical. However, she evidently went through a great deal of psychological trauma as well. A novel detailing their childhoods in Japan states that Nunnally privately had a terrible time coping with the changes in her life and would throw tantrums when left to her own at Kururugi residence, destroying nearly anything she could get her hands on. However, unless she secretly throws tantrums whenever her brother is off screen, this doesn’t seem to be an issue during the span of the series. I’d argue this could be attributed to Lelouch functioning as a caregiver for her - she had someone there to help her, calm her down and provide external emotional regulation, which in turn helped her learn to better regulate her emotional states on her own. Lelouch provides safety and warmth, and, in doing so, becomes a buffer for his sister.
Lelouch, however, has no such buffers. Because of this, it’s easy to draw a line between his parental problems and trauma, and his subsequent maladjusted pattern behaviour when the siblings arrive in Japan. At the Kururugi residence, both him and Nunnally are offered both food and clothing, but he is insistent on providing everything himself - he washes all their clothes, and buys their food with coupons in town, despite being beat up by the other boys there for being Britannian. He’s distrustful towards everyone there (before later warming up to Suzaku) and hypersensitive for any possible threat to Nunnally’s safety. In my opinion, it’s evident Charles’ words had an impact on him. When Suzaku asks why he is so hellbent on refusing help, he responds with: “I’ll live by my own strength, and I won’t be dead any longer!” Through caregivers, children learn what to expect from the world and their own place in it - in Lelouch’s case, he clearly sees the world as an unsafe place with few people to truly trust, and considers himself only worth something if he is entirely independent. Although independence is often seen as a “mature” trait in children and therefore indicative of “good” development, healthy dependence and attachment in childhood is crucial for the facilitation of later healthy independence. And unlike Nunnally (who has him), he doesn’t have anyone to rely on and turn to for his security.
Diverting slightly from the topic at hand, I think this highlights the interesting narrative role of C.C. as the closest thing Lelouch has to a caregiver proxy. I am in no way trying to imply she is outright maternal towards him, but she’s of help and offers practical and sometimes emotional support - a role no other person in Lelouch’s life really fills. I already explained why Nunnally isn’t a possible candidate, and Suzaku, while an important figure in Lelouch’s life, has his own essay-worthy plate of parental problems to deal with. Additionally, their whole enemy situation doesn’t make him someone Lelouch can reliably turn to for comfort and support. C.C however, is older, wiser, more ���stable”, and seems to know how to offer emotional support in a way that somewhat calms Lelouch down. In turn, he occasionally tries to reach out to her in difficult situations (or at least he gives into having breakdowns in front of her), which he doesn’t seem to do with anyone else. If only she’d intervened when he was a child instead of just standing there dramatically in the background. But alas.
V. Some Things Just Stick in Your Mind: Differential Susceptibility
Earlier, I briefly mentioned Nunnally being the one most harmed by Marianne’s death. She was younger when it happened, more directly involved, and experienced a greater loss of function as a result which altered her lifestyle significantly. Based on this, I could easily argue that the incident would have far more damaging implications for her long-term psychological well-being compared to her older brother. I could, but I won’t, because it didn’t. Despite all these risk factors present in Nunnally’s case, their mother’s death seems to have made far more of a long-term impact on Lelouch. We’ve already discussed the most important reason why: Lelouch providing Nunnally with protective care associated with a secure parent, thus functioning as a buffer for her trauma. In this section, I’d like to discuss another important factor, interacting with attachment security: namely, differential susceptibility (also sometimes called responsiveness for care).
When we meet Lelouch in the beginning of Code Geass, he feels stuck and utterly powerless in his situation. He gambles on chess to pass time, but feels otherwise bored, restless and detached from his environment. When he receives the power of Geass from C.C., it gives him what he claims he wanted all along - a tool to take control of his life, get revenge on those who wronged him and actually do something. Thus, a plan to overthrow the Britannian Empire is formed and set into motion. The main targets seem to be the royal family as he struggles to systematically take down the empire and search for information - once he meets his brother Clovis, he shoots him (seemingly) without much hesitation. As time goes on, he sacrifices more and more time and energy to his obsessive goal, while his web of lies and various interpersonal becomes increasingly difficult to manage. There is a reason his character is often compared to the likes of Light Yagami (despite them having completely opposing ideologies, but that’s an essay topic for another day) - his arc follows the same downward spiral pattern, where one thing leads to another and suddenly you’re up to your ears in civilian casualties. It’s obvious Lelouch hasn’t accepted, gotten over, or forgiven his family in the slightest, and takes this anger out on those he perceives wronged him in search of an answer.
Meanwhile, Nunnally doesn’t exhibit anything close to this kind of grudge. She seems upset whenever it is brought up, but otherwise seems to have made peace with what happened and ready to forgive her family. One might argue this comes down to a difference of opportunity - Nunnally doesn’t exactly have the power of Geass, or even functioning eyes of the non-mind control variety, so it might be a bit more difficult to get certain things done. Such as killing off most of the Britannian royal family. However, even before Lelouch got the power of Geass, he expressed a wish to destroy Britannia for what they did to him and his sister. So, unless Nunnally has some secret desire to kill that was just never mentioned (in which case this whole essay is null and void, I suppose), Lelouch seems to be coping with his trauma in a much more maladaptive way than his sister, turning his sadness and feelings of rejection into anger and resentment, which ended up staying with him pretty much until the day he died.
Reach your arm out and grab the stars or whatever that quote from LoGH is.
Based on this, I’d argue Lelouch is what one might call a flexible strategist. This doesn’t refer to his military tactics (although he seems pretty flexible with those as well) but simply means that, for better and for worse, he’s relatively sensitive to factors and people in his external environment. On one hand, he seems to flourish in environments where he gets support. During his childhood in the Imperial Palace, he seemed to mostly get along with and care about his siblings (as mentioned earlier). He was also by all accounts a very bright child - he did say he never managed to beat Schneizel at chess, but to give Lelouch some credit here, Schneizel at the time would have been an adult man in his early 20s, while Lelouch was, like, 7. The fact he even stood a chance is fairly impressive. I do not want to argue chess ability is the ultimate measurement of childhood functioning, but my point here is this: he seemed to be on a decent developmental path, both cognitively and socially, all things considered. On the other hand, he tends to react poorly whenever something goes wrong. I’ll talk about this in more depth in the emotional development section, but tl;dr: Lelouch is a very volatile character, who tends to have very high highs and low lows.
While Lelouch seems to be more “formable” by both positive and negative environmental influences, Nunnally is more of a so-called fixed strategist. She, like Lelouch, seemed to be in a decent place before the incident, had a period of acting out after her trauma (throwing tantrums etc.), but got “back on track” through Lelouch fairly quickly. She seems more forgiving of her family, for example when she is instantly supportive of Euphie’s special administrative zone (which Lelouch has a very ambivalent relationship with). Towards the endgame in S2, she even aligns herself with Schneizel. As her arc goes on, she shows herself more and more capable of functioning without Lelouch’s help, and make decisions of her own, based on her own opinions. Her outlook on the world seems to be much more down-to-earth and less black and white. Even when her own brother (the only person she’s been able to rely on for most of her life) geasses her and literally leaves her lying on the floor, she tries to reason with him. This is obviously just speculation, but I think had something similar happened to Lelouch he would have, psychologically speaking, completely lost it (in fact, he does lose it multiple times, which I’ll also get back to). Additionally, from the glimpse we see of Nunnally with Suzaku after Zero Requiem, it seems like she’s been able to cope relatively well with her brother’s death. In general, she seems to find her feet much easier than Lelouch and is more stable across situations.
To summarise everything so far: I’d argue neither Charles nor Marianne were secure caregivers for Lelouch and Nunnally. This is implied not only by their traits and actions, but can be inferred from Lelouch’s maladaptive developmental path. The reason we see this pattern develop in Lelouch but not Nunnally is that he, through parentification, functioned as a buffer for her. Furthermore, this difference in trajectories is amplified by their different underlying susceptibilities - Lelouch more sensitive/formable by negative events and loss in general, while Nunnally is more resilient. From this point on I’ll focus mainly on Lelouch, and discuss how this magnificent cocktail of risk factors explain his developmental outcomes as an older teenager - in particular, how it shines through when it comes to his emotionality, identity, and goals/motivations.
VI. Thunder in Our Hearts: Emotional Development and Interpersonal Relationships
Lelouch frequently throughout the series, for lack of a better term, loses his absolute shit. For example, in the scene where he plays chess with Mao in S1 E16, he screams and dramatically falls backwards when the last piece is thrown onto the scale. He’s completely devoid of expression, and is well and truly out of it until Suzaku arrives. He ends up in a similar state of mind when he thinks Nunnally is killed in S2, where it seems like he’s completely detached from his surroundings - just repeating that he wants to speak with her. In addition to these dissociative-esque states in response to extreme stress, he has lesser breakdown and outbursts as well, such as: after Shirley’s father dies, after the incident with Euphie, when he’s flipping out at Rolo upon seeing his phone locket, etc. Additionally, he’s been shown to take stress and anger out on other people in the (kinda hilarious) scene where he goes to an abandoned street to use his Geass on random people, making them dance as he stands there being angsty. These bursts of emotion don’t exclusively concern negative situations either, as evidenced by his multiple periods of manic laughter and monologues during battle.
I once read this Geass analysis claiming Lelouch is an unemotional character. As evidenced by these screenshots, that was a correct take and not inaccurate at all. Emotions? Where?
In addition to being fairly emotional, Lelouch’s character is also very centered around the people in his life. His mother and sister are the primary motivation through the series. He uses Nunnally’s well-being to justify his actions. He let’s C.C. comfort him. He cares greatly about Shirley, and is devastated at her father’s death (though one can only assume he feels a bit better after punching a wall in the shower), to the point where he erases her memory to spare her the suffering he’s bringing by getting her involved. He obviously deeply cares about Suzaku (again - essay for another day), and orders him to keep on living no matter what, despite him being the number one obstacle for Zero’s plans. If he expresses this affection in a reasonable way is another question entirely - his main way of expressing his love for Nunnally seems to be killing thousands of people for her sake, Shirley by erasing her memory, and Suzaku by forcing him to live on at any cost, which is the exact opposite of what he wanted.
He also has a recurring pattern of requiring a lot of external emotional regulation through other people. Nunnally is the most obvious example of this (obviously) - whenever something goes slightly wrong, he usually defaults to screaming about her, and becomes absolutely devastated whenever she’s unsafe. If Lelouch functions as her buffer, I’d say she’s her crutch. He heavily leans on her for justification and a purpose in life. But, these maladaptive ways of leaning on people also occurs with other characters, such as in the scene with Kallen in the warehouse where he’s about to inject himself with refrain. Kallen takes the needle from him and throws it on the ground, and he reacts by walking towards her asking her to console him - saying “there are things a woman can do for that, right?”. Kallen promptly (rightfully) slaps him, and he seems to regain his senses.
The most frequently repressed scene by all Lelouch fans.
In summary, I’d argue Lelouch is the complete opposite of an unemotional or uncaring character. He often seems to struggle with controlling his (plethora of) emotions in healthy ways, and copes with them either through completely shutting things out, having frequent breakdowns, lashing out on others, or using people as emotional crutches. He’s also very centered around other people, but tends to express it in less-than-appropriate ways, and goes on about things in an almost childish way, at times. This, I think, is indicative of his insecure attachment and lack of sensitive caregivers. In contrast to Nunnally, who had him, he didn’t have anyone to provide safety and externally regulate his emotions, meaning he was never able to internalise such strategies. Thus, there is a pattern of unhealthy (lack of) regulation of emotional states, leading to these stark contrasts between high and low points, and the quite bad ways he deals with them. Years of stress, repressed restlessness and unhealthy coping mechanisms for trauma certainly didn’t help either. Put simply - he’s a bit emotionally immature, and this is a significant aspect of his character.
VII. Reflektor: Identity and Projection
One of the most prevalent motifs in Lelouch’s arc, save for the chess symbolism, is the theme of masks and a fragmented identity. Throughout the series, he uses different identities to fill different roles in his life: Lelouch vi Britannia the prince, Lelouch Lamperouge the student, Zero the terrorist/freedom fighter and eventually Lelouch vi Britannia again, the tyrannical 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire. This switch is the most obvious display of the fragmented identity theme, as he is quite literally changing his name and masquerading as different people. With his Zero persona he even puts on a literal mask to conceal his face, but he also uses subtler, figurative masks for his other personas in order to achieve various goals. Additionally, there are also subtler role shifts at play within these identities: Lelouch Lamperouge exists as Nunnally’s caregiver, a student council member, Suzaku’s childhood friend, etc. (as with all people, fictional or not).
It is here his main ideological conflict with his parents arises. Charles and Marianne wants, through their Ragnarök plan, to abolish all “masks” and fuse mankind into one collective unconscious. Their reasoning is that if everyone were honest and there were no separation between people, the world would be a better place. Lelouch, however, finds the concept of identity masks useful and even defines himself by them. This is clearly shaped by his own experience - in order to survive in Area 11 and protect his sister, he had to change his name and lie. In order to gain real power and influence to overthrow Britannia, he had to change his name and lie. This modus operandi goes straight to the heart of his identity, because it is the reason he is able to exert his will over the world in any meaningful way - which, as we discussed earlier, is the reason he is “not dead any longer”. His core idea is that those who are privileged enough to be able to tell the truth about themselves, have no right to deny others the right to lie for their own survival or to achieve their goals.
Carl Jung arguably had a much more significant impact on anime than he did psychology. Actually, this isn’t even arguable.
Another, subtler way the series conveys the theme of fractured identity is Lelouch’s projection of desires and wishes onto others. This is shown quite literally through how the Geass gives him the power to command anyone to do anything. But not only does he impose his will onto others through verbal command, he also projects his more abstract goals and desires into the people in his life. Again, Nunnally is the most obvious example of this: Everything he does, he claims is for the sake of Nunnally. It’s interesting he never outright says that he wanted to do any of this for any personal reason - it’s all about a kinder world for Nunnally, Nunnally’s smile, and how their parents abandoned them. In the final confrontation with Charles and Marianne, Suzaku asks him if he used Nunnally as an excuse to justify his actions. Lelouch confirms this, and then says he fought to protect everything he wanted to protect. Still, he never mentions he feels rejected, or that he would want to grow older in a kinder world, even though it’s obviously more his own wish than hers (as Nunnally mentions during Zero Requiem, she would have been happy just being with her brother). In a way, he considers himself two steps removed from his desires - only working against Britannia on the basis of what he imagines the people in his life would want him to do.
Lelouch also has a tendency to view his own identity(-ies) through abstract symbols, rather than as a concrete human being with a backstory, grudges and motivations. In exile he expresses frustration at being a pawn of Britannia, as Zero he functions as a faceless symbol of Japanese liberation and a rebellion against the establishment, and as Emperor he aims to become a symbol of people’s hatred towards their oppressors. Even the orchestration of his life’s ending is primarily a symbolic act to him; with the world’s hatred focused on a tyrannical Emperor, the world can be peaceful when that symbol disappears. Lelouch seems very aware of this himself: that he is past the point of no return, and destined to become someone who will bear the burden of sacrificing his own identity, morals and character to play a part. He, in a way, seems more comfortable in this realm of abstraction - in being more of a symbol. However, if we try to strip away his rather grand narrative for a second, we’re left with a person committing suicide at 19 because he thinks the world will be a better place for it.
Black king captures e1, checkmate.
VIII. Pity the Child: Politics and Spite
Lastly, I want to make the argument that the parental abandonment Lelouch and Nunnally experienced, and the subsequent cascade of issues is the most important aspect of the series. Even more so than the central ideological conflict of working against versus within systems of oppression. As I’ve already touched on a fair bit, I think Lelouch’s circumstances growing up and the experiences arising from that was the very foundation for his later ideology and hatred for Britannia, rather than his ideology in and of itself being the reason he hates his parents and the system they represent. This is best represented by the climax of the scene with Charles and Marianne in C’s world, where Lelouch speaks not of systems of power, racism, oppression, politics, etc. - he speaks of abandonment and hurt.
In my opinion, there’s reason to question whether he would have gone to the same lengths to destroy Britannia if he’d not been exiled from the system himself. In one of the picture dramas from his summer in Japan as a child, he lectures Suzaku on Britannian and Japanese foreign trade policy, making the argument they’re both unethical. This indicates he already knew of and disagreed with the actions of Britannia, but it’s only after he’s exiled and war is declared on Japan he begins talking about enacting revenge. Additionally, he has some truly magnificent displays of hypocrisy throughout the series that (in my unpopular (?) opinion) puts Suzaku to shame. Even the very act of him using Geass is contradictory to his fundamental belief: that opposing a well-intentioned act upon others is no different from an evil act. During their confrontation, he is very concerned with expressing this ideology to his parents, before promptly turning around and making his brother a geassed slave forever, two episodes later.
Not to completely undermine his ideological streak; I do genuinely believe he is anti-Britannia, and I do genuinely believe he values personal freedom highly. However, based on everything discussed so far, I’d argue he would perhaps not have cared as much, or at least been more open to a more Suzaku-esque approach, had he not had deep personal trauma connected to the whole situation as well. So, his main motivation isn’t to “bash the fash”, as it were, but rather bash these few specific fash who traumatised him and his sister before shipping them off to a foreign country they then immediately declared war on. Revenge, spite, and pure, childish anger towards a family that wronged him is a much more useful lens through which to view the series, rather than an ideological conflict per se.
IX. The Conclusion Bit, Finally
To summarise this entirely too long essay, Lelouch and Nunnally both suffered from insecure attachment and later trauma and parental abandonment. Nunnally’s main protective factor/buffer for this trauma was Lelouch, which gets her “back on track” towards becoming an emotionally stable and independent girl. Her brother, however, doesn’t have anyone to fill this role, and this cascades into dysfunctional behaviour and strategies across different domains: his trust issues as a child, obsession with revenge, immature emotionality, poor handling of stress, projecting onto others, and a fragmented concept of his own identity. Lastly, I think these personal issues constitute the crux of his motivation throughout the series - Lelouch’s arc is about trauma, parental neglect and spite more than it ever was about politics.
#code geass#lelouch vi britannia#lelouch lamperouge#nunnally vi britannia#@ everyone who's ever wanted to read a Long essay on code geass and developmental psychology: you're welcome#I hope some of it is understandable or even interesting#my essays#.........that's a VERY optimistic tag but I feel like I have to tag it with Something#analysis
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NaLu Analysis: Bonding beats quirks
Before anyone gets any ideas, the title doesn’t refer to the “quirks” from “My Hero Academia”
This is a subject often discussed in this blog. Some NaLu shippers often claim that Lucy has better chemistry with “dorks” much cooler and better-looking than Natsu.
A previous analysis dealt with the definition of chemistry to clear that up and show how Natsu and Lucy have an unmatched chemistry when their moments are put into the context of their relationship and the way the story stresses on their connection throughout the series.
However, there is a reason why many readers (which includes self-proclaimed NaLu shippers) are not able to grasp this particular aspect of NaLu.
Because of Natsu’s character
To elaborate on this point, we need to go over what shippers usually hype as “chemistry.”
One argument describes “smiling at each other” along “the way the guy looks at the girl” as the signs of a stronger chemistry between characters.
Smiling, just like many other forms of non-verbal communication between humans is something complex with a wide variety of meanings depending on the people and the culture.
In some cases, a smile can be used to flirt. Others may use it to convey a sense of trust and good-will. But, it all depends on the context.
Now, if a smile is enough for shippers to make claims of romantic “chemistry,” shouldn’t we consider several of the moments between Natsu and Lucy as proof of a strong chemistry between them?
There is a saying that goes “the eyes are the window to the soul.” If the way the guy looks at Lucy is what makes him a better match for her, shouldn’t we consider the way Natsu looks at her before jumping to conclusions?
What about the way Lucy looks at Natsu?
So, if Natsu shares with Lucy moments that fit into what shippers wrongly assume is chemistry, why aren’t such moments deserving of hype? Are those cooler dorks doing something Natsu isn’t?
It’s actually the other way around. Natsu is doing something that much cooler dorks don’t...
As explained before, Natsu is a thrill-seeker. But, he’s also quite a trouble-maker who’s fond of pranks. None of these traits represents something negative when kept at a reasonable level.
However, unlike other more calm and collected characters, the quirks in Natsu’s attitude become a turn-off for many fans (even those who claim to love Natsu often hype those other guys because of this). That creates a contrast that makes much more level-headed and somewhat mature guys become more attractive to both readers and watchers.
That doesn’t mean overhyped males don’t have their own personality quirks. In fact, the author constantly uses one of those particular traits to draw readers in. And that’s part of the contrast. While Natsu’s personality may repel shippers, other guys’ quirks only add more to their appeal, which makes it easier to hype them over Natsu.
Now, the shippers’ take on this matter could make someone question: Does Natsu’s quirky personality diminish or eliminate any potential chemistry he may have with Lucy?
Even those who “ship” NaLu may imply that’s the case. But, how would story and characters answer this question?
No! Natsu’s quirks don’t weaken the emotional connection he shares with Lucy
The moments they had in the story when taken into context, show how they consistently build and strengthen their relationship while both characters remain true to themselves.
If you guys remember the first full-fledged NaLu analysis in this blog, or if you read the manga, you’ll probably recall this moment...
...while everyone is partying at the festival, Natsu is the one who not only misses Lucy, who couldn’t go to the party because she got sick, he took action to fulfill her desire of seeing one of those rainbow trees.
Did Natsu’s trouble-making personality ruined or “diluted” this gesture? No, the fact Natsu is someone who expresses himself mostly through actions rather than words made this moment something more meaningful.
By the time of the GMG, we get more scenes that help to solidify the growing emotional attachment between Natsu and Lucy. While she’s crying on the ground because of her loss against Flare, Natsu is the one who approaches Lucy, acknowledges her growth and tries to get her spirits up in his very own way...
... that night she had a more positive look and stuck close to the person that gave her comfort after such experience.
We already considered how the impact of such moments still resonates even in the Avatar arc. Natsu somewhat became her rock, someone who provided her with the emotional support she needed through actions rather than words.
But, that’s not all. While shippers insist that cuteness and comedy are all NaLu has going for it, their relationship actually offers several things people may seek when looking for a “partner.”
For example, Natsu often tries to make Lucy happy; he actively seeks to comfort her and make her feel better whenever she needs it...
...something she came to greatly value as well as deeply appreciate...
This aspect of their bond started up small, but as time went by, it became something of a second nature to Natsu. Still, it never feels out of place or out of character. Natsu remained as someone pretty impulsive, the difference is that as Lucy starts to have an effect on him, he now seeks ways to stay close to her as often as possible by offering Lucy fun and warmth.
As explained in another post, such thing results in Natsu making her excited about her life and adventures in Fairy Tail, which brings more joy and satisfaction to their relationship.
Now, some people even look for emotional chemistry without even realizing what it truly is. The most basic concept, as stated before, consists of emotional support along with significant moments that leave an impact on the persons involved.
A partner that provides with hope and strength
That’s what chemistry looks like! A partner who gives you courage and determination...
...while sometimes making you feel concern
Someone who makes you feel lucky
So, should we say that Natsu’s quirky personality makes NaLu something weaker than other premises? Absolutely not!
Personality traits don’t make NaLu weaker. A well-written relationship is not based on mere commonalities or how cool/sexy some dorks are. A potent relationship is more about impactful moments building up an emotional connection.
That’s how the author managed to convey the idea of characters forming and developing a deep and strong bond without such a process feeling forced. This emotional narrative paves the way for an organic and coherent development.
Because of his quirks, Natsu may not evoke the hype other characters have. Still, his relationship with Lucy features consistent bonding, mutual faith/trust, significant moments, true chemistry, and many other factors that allow their bond to grow naturally as the story goes on.
#fairy tail#natsu dragneel#lucy heartfilia#natsu x lucy#nalu#chemistry#potent pairing#potent relationship#defending nalu#analysis#recently edited
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A long rambling essay about Teacher!au Ernesto & Hector’s friendship and where they go from here.
Essay inspired by the day’s discussions regarding the latest chapter of @im-fairly-whitty and @slusheeduck ‘s teacher!au and the crossroads we find ourselves at.
Long, rambling essay found below the cut
Hector and Ernesto have come to a crossroads in their friendship which can either deteriorate or get stronger & healthier depending on how maturely they handle the transition into Miguel’s adoption. In this essay I will…
Actually write an essay! Let’s begin by laying the facts out on the table.
· Hector is adopting Miguel.
· Miguel is a recently-orphaned 8 year old.
· This decision came suddenly with the previous plan being that Miguel was going to go back to Santa Cecilia after the holidays.
· Everyone was operating under the assumption Miguel would go back to Santa Cecilia.
· When Hector made this decision, he neglected to tell Ernesto until the last minute.
· Ernesto’s only 2 pieces of information on the subject include a text which told him nothing except that there was a change of plans, and a phone call 24 hours later which lasted less than a minute.
Hector & Ernesto both have faults in this situation, but I’ll start with Hector’s since it is honestly smaller and more concrete than Ernesto’s. Hector is making a life-altering decision which will not only affect his life, but Miguel’s life, Imelda’s life, and Ernesto’s life. As previously stated, Ernesto only has a text and an exceptionally brief phone call. It is fair to say that Hector had a lot going on and it’s only natural that some things fall by the wayside. It is also fair to say that Ernesto does not have enough information to go off of to process this sudden massive change to his living situation. (And being the thing left by the wayside never feels good).
To be clear, it is still Hector’s decision to make, but he and Ernesto do have to have a long talk about this because there are a lot of questions that need to be addressed. What, exactly, is Ernesto’s role in all this? How much is he expected to parent Miguel? Are there new rules as to what Ernesto can & can’t do in the apartment now? (For example, bringing a random girl home for the night. Probably can’t do that anymore.) How does this affect their music? Or their touring? What if Hector is planning on moving out all together? Now, assuming they are going to behave like mature adults, these questions will be addressed in the future, but at present, Ernesto’s been left with flailing in the wind. He has nothing to indicate if there is an answer to any of these questions or if Hector has even considered any of this.
So, Hector’s mistake is that he handled telling Ernesto all wrong, and he’d probably be the first one to admit it once it’s brought to his attention. However, Hector’s mistake can be resolved with a future conversation in which they come up with a game plan. Ernesto’s problems are going to take some more work.
To be fair, Ernesto does have legitimate concerns about what’s about to happen, one of which would actually factor into the decision about whether or not Hector should adopt Miguel: can Hector handle it? Ernesto has been friends with Hector for most of his life, which means he’s also been there for all the stupid times. He was there for the chorizo incident, and I’m sure there are plenty more like it. He also knows Hector is prone to flights of fancy and raising a kid is a way bigger commitment than, say, getting a starry-eyed crush on the girl at the bookstore. However, if he’d been paying attention for the last 6 months, he’d have seen how much Hector has matured and how well he’s taken care of Miguel. Sure, there’s a big difference between taking care of a kid for a few months and actually raising one into adulthood, but Hector has proven himself capable.
(As a personal anecdote, I used to be a lifeguard at waterpark, and if you don’t need a lifeguard to tell you that you can’t leave your infant unattended in a pool, you’re already doing better than some people I’ve come across.)
Ernesto’s other previously mentioned concerns do need to be addressed, but none of them change whether or not Miguel is adopted. Assuming something doesn’t go wrong with the adoption process, this is happening. Hector is adopting Miguel. They are going to need all the support they can get. Now, the question is, will Ernesto be supportive?
Ernesto has (reasonable) choices: either find a way to deal, or find his own place. No matter what, there’s going to be change. Ideally, they’ll talk it out, figure out a routine for the new normal, and if that doesn’t work, they get separate apartments when the lease is up. This second one doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It doesn’t have to mean the end of their friendship. It doesn’t even mean they can’t still play together. (Hector obviously can’t go on tour all summer, but he could still play local shows and be Ernesto’s stay-at-home songwriter). It just means this particular era is over. It’d be sad, of course, and they’d have to grieve and adjust, but it’s 100% doable.
Somehow, I doubt that’s how it’s going to be handled.
I don’t think it’s controversial to say Ernesto has tendency to think about himself first. He expects other people to make sacrifices to suit his needs, but he’s not used to making sacrifices himself. (Still low-key salty that he tried to get in the way of Hector’s education and then acted like he did Hector a big favor by stopping his freeze-out over it). Well, he’s going to have to start. Hector is taking on a very important responsibility. Miguel comes first, no matter what. This means accepting that Hector has a life separate from him. This means relinquishing control.
Ernesto relinquishing control: this is completely uncharted territory for him, especially when it comes to Hector. He’s always been able to control Hector before, and Hector’s rarely pushed back before. The only other big time they’ve fought was when Hector went away to college, but that was temporary, just like watching Miguel was supposed to be temporary. But now that Miguel is staying for good, he has to give up some of his control. He has to respect the rules Hector sets (like not filming Miguel without permission. Seriously, Ernesto, you are a 30-something man filming a small child without permission and posting it on the internet. What part of this is not creepy to you?). He has to trust Hector’s judgement and defer to Hector. And he’ll have to face the facts that this was all stuff he should have been doing in the first place.
I’d be interested in what sort of childhood & family life Wit & Slush have in mind for teacher!au Ernesto. I’d like to see where his need for control comes from.
I’ve gone in depth about what I think of Cannon Hector & Ernesto’s dynamic before, but I think some aspects still apply, such as Ernesto conceptualizing Hector as an extension of himself. Now Hector is operating in a way that is independent from Ernesto. They’ve been fighting more than ever, and not even about dumb stuff like who’s turn it is to do the dishes. From Ernesto’s perspective, this kid’s come between them and making it permanent is only going to make things worse. So the kid must be the problem, right?
Well, Ernesto, let’s look at the pattern. Whenever the big fights with Hector have happened, they follow a common thread. Hector tries to do his own thing or put his foot down, Ernesto gets mad because it messes up his plans, If Hector doesn’t fold immediately, Ernesto shuts Hector out, Hector waits until Ernesto’s ready to come back. If Ernesto concedes to Hector, he makes it a point to make sure Hector feels bad for trying to assert himself in the first place. Seems to me that the problem isn’t the kid, or even Hector.
The problem is that Ernesto fears growth to the point where he keeps those around him from growing. Why is this? Again, I’d like to know more about teacher!au’s childhood & home life. But, I do think he needs so much attention all the time because he’s afraid of spending too much time with himself and not liking what he finds when he really has to spend time with that person. On some level, I think he’s aware that he’s aware that he’s in the wrong, but truly admitting his faults would be too damaging to his ego, so he’ll shift blame to Hector, or Imelda, or even a child.
And is there maybe an aspect of self-doubt in there? Maybe he’s seeing his best friend make big steps forward in his life, while Ernesto is still stuck in the same place he was before. Might he feel insecure in his own ability to succeed? So insecure he’s willing to drag down those around him so he’s not left behind?
But still, it’s not fair right? It’s not fair that Ernesto’s life should change so dramatically for this kid he barely even knows. It’s not fair that he has to make sacrifices over something Hector decided, over something he has absolutely no input in. It’s not fair, right?
Right, it’s not fair. Just like it’s not fair that Miguel lost his parents at such a young age. It’s not fair that Enrique & Louisa don’t get to watch their son grow up except for 1 day a year. It’s not fair that Hector had to dive into the responsibility of taking care of a child without getting the chance to grieve for his own cousin. Nothing about this situation is fair.
But that’s the way it is. So what are we gonna do about it?
As I said at the beginning, we’re at a crossroads. What Ernesto choses to do now can either make or break his relationship with Hector. He can either make drastic moves to try to maintain the status quo, or adapt and change with everyone else.
Let’s see what might happen if Ernesto tries to force his will on this situation. It really depends on how low Ernesto’s willing to go. Is he going to try his usual freeze out? Will he try manipulating Hector into changing his mind? Might he try sabotaging the adoption progress? Would he try something even worse? His other incarnations tried to enforce their control over their Hectors with a glass of poison. Is this Ernesto willing to sink down to their level?
Whatever he tries, Hector’s starting to get his priorities in order. He’s not going to fold this time. He might not be good at standing up for himself, but he’d kick a tiger in the face for Miguel. Hector is growing into his own person, and he’s not going to put up with anything that could jeopardize Miguel’s chances for a happy, stable home. If he realizes Ernesto is actively working against this, their friendship will be done for good, and Hector will be the one to end it.
But, it doesn’t have to end like that. This could be a growing opportunity for Ernesto, a coming-of-age story for a 30-something year old man. And it starts with accepting that he is in the wrong and that he’s been treating Hector horribly. He needs to recognize what he’s doing, when he’s being unreasonable & self-centered, and learn how to stop himself.
It’s not going to be easy. No one wants to look too hard at the ugly parts of yourself too long, let alone acknowledge that they’re there. I think he’d definitely benefit from some CBT. If he’s not too proud, he could do with some counseling (everyone could, really). I’d focus on increasing empathy and recognizing irrational thoughts which prevent him from recognizing the needs of others. I’d also work on healthy ways to cope with change.
Just doing this work on himself could make a world of difference, not just with his relationship with Hector, but with his whole life. When you come right down to it, Ernesto is scared. He’s scared of change. He’s scared of loss. He’s scared of being left behind.
He likes what he has right now. He likes having Hector constantly by his side. He likes having adoring fans watch his channel. He likes performing for said fans and basking in their praise. But if something changes, he could lose everything. He might not, but why take the risk? Better to keep everything the same.
So what needs to happen now? He and Hector need to have a talk, a real talk. No accusing, no gas lighting, no giving in just because you’re uncomfortable and you just want it to end. Gonna need a lot of “I” statements and being open about their emotions. It’s not going to be an easy talk. A lot of hurt feelings are going to come to the surface. Old wounds will be open. But they really need to sit down and hash out what’s been going wrong with their relationship. Hector needs to acknowledge that he gives in too easily and doesn’t enforce boundaries. Ernesto needs to acknowledge that he takes advantage of Hector and tries to control too much.
After that, they need to come up with a new life plan, one that takes Miguel’s welfare into account. They need to talk about where compromises can be made and where they can’t. It may end with them coming up with a new routine at the apartment or they may come to the conclusion that it’s better for everyone if they don’t live together anymore. That second option might hurt. It’ll be different and they’re not going to be spending as much time together as they’re used to, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means they’re growing up.
In conclusion, I believe Hector & Ernesto’s relationship is still salvageable at this point, but there needs to be change and it needs to start with Ernesto. Hector is taking on a lot of new responsibilities and is already taking steps to better himself. Ernesto has a lot of work to do on himself and his relationships, but he needs to take that first step and acknowledge his faults. For their friendship to survive, he needs to relinquish control and give Hector unconditional support. He needs to decide what is more important to him, his best friend or his ego.
#teacher!au#the way you keep me guessing#long post#character analysis#ernesto de la cruz#hector rivera
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