#group toning

[soundandshadowcollective]

🚩Trauma Talk and Self-Limiting Beliefs

By Anastasia Darkwater

I love my mother. She did the best she could with what she had. Today, I hold nothing but love and compassion in my heart for her, but in being raised by her, I picked up some self-limiting beliefs that I took in deeply.

The seeds of my self-limiting beliefs germinated as a result of her often repeated, kind of joking? phrases such as: "Children should be seen and not heard.", "Never have children because they are ungrateful and they ruin your life.", and her favorite saying if I asked for anything was "Want in one hand and shit in the other. See which fills up faster."

Hearing these phrases every day, one's brain starts to turn them into truths: don't be loud, only be present when you're needed/wanted, don't ask for anything, don't want anything, don't need anything, I'm ungrateful, I'm a burden, I ruined my mother's life because she was too scared to get another abortion.

I did my best to be unseen, unheard, and want nothing. I became self-sufficient, I needed no one, and I completely isolated myself from humanity.

Some things I learned: being unobserved or unheard is nearly impossible in the age of smart phones and the internet, and if I really think about it, privacy is a rather privileged thing to ask for or demand, in the sense that total privacy is really only available to the wealthy. The rest of us live amongst each other, sharing walls, sharing space, keeping ourselves small so we don't bother anyone else.

It's one way to live, but it doesn't bring happiness or freedom or peace. The secret really is in letting go. Giving in. Taking up space. And that takes me to some fear.

The fear for me is not wanting to bother others (be a burden). What if what I'm doing is disturbing someone who I can't even see?

I dislike being disturbed by others. I feel so helpless in wishing they would stop doing some annoying thing. Can't they understand they are affecting others??

While I simultaneously believe everyone has a right to do their thing, and I'm awful for being annoyed at them. What a paradox!

I don't have the answer on which is right, to be silent and never risk annoying each other or to freely express to our heart's content. Both are valid, and it depends on the context. It's a debate for another day.

All this rambling is to show, by way of my personal example, that fears can be overcome, and if a fear of being heard is something you struggle with, you are safe in this group. Here, we invite and encourage you to discover and explore your voice. True joy, bliss, and calm are just one shrutibox session away!

Let the vibration of your voice reawaken you to your body! Come sing with us!

Ps: You don't have to sing to attend a Sound & Shadow Ceremony! ❤

[introspectivememories]

im sorry but i choose to believe that tim drake is the most insufferable "my man, my man, my man" girl about bear. he does not shut up about him. steph is cooking smth in the kitchen? oh my man can do that. bear cooks really well. dick triaging some poor victim on an emergency site? oh my man is really good at that. mhmm, bear is on his way to becoming a paramedic. damian building something? oh my man is really good with power tools. have you ever seen him build ikea? it takes him less than an hour. for our anniversary, he built me a coffee table. mhmm isn't he amazing? yeah my man did that. yeah my man, mhmm that's my ma-

[linipik]

6000+ years, together

[chlobody]

Held back

[bunnyboy-juice]

g-d bless femme ass hair 🥰

[redysetdare]

Maybe making jokes about "Invading" countries while we have multiple devastating wars that have massive invasions going on isn't the best look you guys.

[tobyfoxmademeascaly]

The hatchingtide/little ladies day quests: look! We trained a goobbue to do tricks! 🥰 but wait! What’s this? She’s scared to perform in front of the crowd! 😲 Go cheer her up so she can bring joy to the people of Ul’dah! 💕

Me, who remembers Thancred and Minfilia’s Tragic Backstory and is having the entire plot of NOPE (2022) flashing through my mind at rapid speed:

[seriousbrat]

Why do people like Lily? From what we've seen of her in the books she seems like a charming and good hearted person but also someone who is shallow, judgemental, a social climber, a classist and immature. Why do people make her out to be this feminist, kind hearted role model that is always morally above others and everyone likes her because she is oh so kind and great? It makes me cringe. From the text we can see that she had a black and white thinking, was shallow and probably self righeous, always thinking she's right and not being able to see the perspective of others. (We can see this in her interactions with Snape) So why do people love her? Do people really need a 'girl boss' in every fandom? There always seems to be one that's just made up by the fans. It looks like people just need a character they can point at and say "see we care about female characters, this one is oh so great, she can't do no wrong, worship her please." 🙄

Look, no offence, but... what? 'Shallow, classist, judgmental, social climber' what? Where are you getting this? Because she stopped being friends with a boy who literally called her a slur? Because she criticised that boy for defending and befriending people who were bigoted against people like herself? Like sorry but I think I'm entirely the wrong person to come to with this kind of thing. I fully disagree. I could not disagree more.

Black and white thinking? The opposite. Lily remained friends with someone who espoused the exact opposite of her beliefs for way too long. Not just her beliefs, but her right to exist. She tolerated Snape (and I do love him as a character, but still) way more than she should have, objectively speaking. That's the opposite of black and white. She was way too understanding, way too empathetic with him. She didn't judge Snape hard enough, in my opinion.

Nah, look idk what you were hoping with this ask but I'm sorry, I'm generally a staunch Lily defender and I heavily disagree with what you're saying. It's not that I think she's a perfect person, she certainly has her flaws like anyone. I don't think that she should be idealised, I think she should be given complexity like any character, but neither do I think she's classist (esp since she's meant to be working class) nor particularly judgmental nor shallow nor immature. I love Snape but he was terrible to her. He befriended people who wanted her dead. Lily didn't owe him anything, and her """righteousness""" as you say is not only entirely justified, but objectively speaking she should have dropped that bitch way earlier.

Why do people (including myself) love Lily? Because she was a good person. Because she was brave and decent and kind. She remained friends with Sev for years despite peer pressure and common sense and she defended him without hesitation. She dedicated her life to fighting for what was right. Lily is a good person. She's not inherently, morally above others, she's not perfect but she was a good, kind person, the way her son is a good, kind person.

Not that difficult to understand imo, unless you have way higher standards for male characters than female characters. Not everyone has to like or be interested in Lily but pretending she's somehow worse/less worthy of interest than Snape, James, Sirius, Regulus, etc (and I imagine you've got to be a fan of some of these marauders era characters if you're reading my blog) because she dropped a guy who wanted to join a fascist group that wanted her dead is absolutely ridiculous.

Lily is so kind and great. Her act of bravery and sacrifice is what kickstarts the entire HP series. Sorry. Like absolutely not, I completely disagree with you about Lily's character. People liking a female character doesn't mean that they have a shallow 'girl boss' approach to that character, and I find that a condescending explanation for why people like myself might be fans of Lily Evans. Maybe, and you perhaps should consider this, us fans of Lily just enjoy and are interested in female characters the exact same way we might be interested in male ones.

Look I don't want to be mean, but can't you tell from my icon, which is clearly supposed to be Lily, that I love Lily? Lily is one of my favourite HP characters. I really don't want to be rude but I'm absolutely the last person who'd share this viewpoint.

[prettyboykatsuki]

bachisagi poly is appearing like a normal friend trio 99% of the time until bachira randomly initiates a threeway kiss in a public setting

[fisheito]

found a baby yaku amidst the Sketchbook-glitch-corruption wreckage..... wondering if he flipped skin tones between black and red and everything in between until he saw his to-be-grandparents (and started mimicking THEIR skin tone....... )

[wrexwas]

KIRIKO KAMORI (家守 霧子) in LE SSERAFIM (르세라핌) 'Perfect Night' OFFICIAL M/V with OVERWATCH 2

[yasmeensh]

I have decided to stop meddling with this piece. It has to be done at some point, and here it is! I'm happy with how it turned out 😁 My last chimpanzee painting was two years ago, so it's time I make another one! Painted in acrylics and touched up with CSP. Shared some process shots too, just below :)

it was very messy.... and the lighting made a HUGE difference in the end!

[sprimpfriedrice]

White dungeon meshi fans sound like this to me:

It's extremely fascinating and frightening to me how hateful some of you people are towards shuro, a man who is clearly depicted as japanese, (a man who could look like me or literally any member of my family in real life) for being a normal, complex, and flawed human being.

Why do you single him out for getting frustrated with and mad at laios when chilchuck and marcille do the same literally all the time? What's the difference between them and shuro?

Why do you feel the unnecessary need to protect these white women from a japanese man?

Do you expect that this japanese man is inherently going to have some kind of ugly negative quality that has not been once hinted at canonically? Do you know what that's called? Because i do and it's fucking racism.

You people get scared the moment a character that is a person of color isnt a quiet little model minority or a sweet mammy archetype. You grasp at your pearls the moment they are revealed to have complex personalities and histories; when they feel negative, big emotions that are literally part of the human experience. Or god forbid, when they show romantic interest in a pure, helpless, little white woman.

And when a person of color stops behaving good and docile the way you want, when they decide that theyre not going to put up with a situation that makes them uncomfortable or miserable or RIGHTEOUSLY FURIOUS, they become the bad guy. As seen countless times in the medias demonizing depiction of the Black Lives Matter protests and even of black people who get punished for just living their lives. It happens so often i shouldnt have to reiterate it to you but it somehow keeps flying over your head.

And when that dirty, conniving, perverted, slant eyed, buck toothed, stumpy little japanese man understandably snaps at the white person you guys are projecting onto and all you see is this:

So dont be surprised when i say that id rather kill myself than entrust the safety of my oldest aunts and uncles or my youngest cousins with any of you who act like this. Im terrified of what could have happened if people like you worked at the facility that my great grandmother lived out her final years in. Would you have seen her as a wild animal that needed to be subdued too when she had one of her many dementia-induced violent episode?

I will not apologize for saying that i find it deeply disconcerting to see so many of you happily posting hateful vitriol or even about committing acts of violence against a man that looks like me, solely because he was experiencing his humanity

[official-lucifers-child]

“they would not fucking say that” and “they would not fucking do that” comes with another, more niche flavour of “they would (not) be able to fucking sing”

[dirtyassvoiceactors]

Dorian meets Jester and Fjord aka Hot/PrettyBlueBoy meets PrettyBlueGirl and crushes HARD on her HotGreenGuy fiancé

I KNEW IT!

First off i was dying for my cool tone high charisma yet insecure himbos to meet!

Second and especially cuz i figured out why i loved Dorian so much from the start, which is cuz i think he has that same hot charming men yet insecure fumbling idiot(/affectionately) vibe like Fjord, but in the shape of a queer af bard kkkkk

Which as soon as i realized i just thought “THEY HAVE TO MEET, DORIAN IS GONNA CRUSH ON HIM SO FAST” AND I WAS RIGHT!

Robbie/Dorians face while saying “who is Fjord?…Oh, hello Fjord” and Travis/Fjord just trying not to laugh/blush at jester saying “not as handsome as Fjord” and Dorian looking at him and immediately flirting kkkkkkkk

which btw, i know Dorian is inexperienced and Orym is his first crush/love but idk if i just don’t really remember but i feel like all the times Dorian sounded like flirting or flushed while talking with or being complimented it was with men/masc presenting, which could mean that he only likes men, and i just ask if anyone headcanons him that way as well mostly cause when i saw people shipping him and imogen or him and laudna i was just ? cause i headcanoned him as gay since day1 basically kk

i only bring that up cause Dorian wasted no time calling Jester Beautiful but the way said it and the way he immediately went and said “who is Fjord? … oh hello Fjord” as soon as Jester said he just wasn’t as handsome as Fjord is adorable, like the way he and she complimented each other was just like pointing out the obvious and yet even though she complimented him by basically saying though he wasn’t as handsome as fjord, he didn’t feel offended at all, he was just like wait so theres a hotguy close by? and immediately like looked him up and down and shit and flirted kkkkkkkk

which btw is also hilarious that this was moments before he got jealous of orym’s attention to Beau’s abs and no comment abt his kkkkkk

like boy truly is helplessly in love with the little man kkkkkk

cuz i don’t even think he was crushing on fjord, i just think he was just like horny thoughts, kinda like w Braius

[bread-wizards]

I find it interesting that out of all the party, Laudna and Orym are following in Ashton's footsteps a bit in hiding things from the party (Orym with the Nana Morri deal, Laudna with her interacting with/talking to Delilah more and more), and I wonder how much of it is the residual impact that Bor'dor's betrayal had on them.