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jentlemahae · 8 months ago

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it's kind of ironic and sad that there have been so many unnecessarily long blackpink hiatuses bcs yg refused to be competent and organized and blinks have been patient through all of those, but now this seems to be the first hiatus that the pinks themselves want (imo) and this is the first hiatus that blinks refuse to be patient for.

idk, it's a nuanced topic and i agree with many points on both sides of the argument. yes they should have more music. no it's not wrong for fans of a group to want more group content rather than solo stuff. yes we have barely seen them as a group over the past few years and that's not good. at the same time, if you genuinely got your hopes up for a bp group cb this year then that's on you bcs the pinks have made it very clear that that's not happening. to the people saying "they renewed their contract and there's been no changes" it has been 3 months, during which all 4 members have been working on their own things. at what point during the past 3 months did they think that bp were making group music? "they're stringing us along" are they???? them renewing their group contract didn't mean they were immediately going to release group music. idgi.

we haven't seen them as a group as often as we should have done in the past few years but i disagree with the idea that they've been soloists more than they've been a band. bcs if you take away all their brand work, what solo activities did they actually have? they had like 2 songs each and 1 kdrama/variety show each. none of them have really been able to release group OR solo music over the past 7 years and that's not their fault. they spent 7 years being messed around by a useless company and repeatedly expressed how they all wanted freedom to release music. now they finally have full control over one aspect of their careers for the first time ever so ofc they're going to focus on that aspect rn, which happens to be their solo careers. yes it's frustrating to not have ot4 music but i don't get why people are surprised by that and i especially don't get why that frustration is being directed towards the members all of a sudden.

100% !!!!! i completely understand blinks being frustrated by the lack of music and activity, but totally it’s misdirected because the main reason why we don’t have much music is yg, cause if bp had been under a different company we would have more songs and fans would be way less mad about the inactivity of this year. honestly, i think the reason why fans are way more whiny about this hiatus is bcs we know the girls willingly signed under yg as a group so i think some fans feel the pinks are to blame for this hiatus more compared to previous ones since they’re the ones who chose to stay. that’s utterly moronic though cause the choice was either renew as a group or disband, so it’s not like they had much wiggle room, but unfortunately fans are very stupid

but like u said, the girls surely want this hiatus too and it’s not on yg this time, but the reason behind the inactivity is that they’re finally focusing on their own music after years of being held back by a company !!!!!!! and isn’t that good ???? like if u are actually a fan of the pinks, shouldn’t u want them to experience freedom and do what makes them happy ???!!? i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again — i genuinely think some “blinks” don’t actually like the pinks and are just around so they can project onto them and live vicariously but they don’t actually care about the girls and just see them as content machines 🙃

#anonymous #sophie ask

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honeytae · 4 years ago

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I think you’re forgetting how well I know you.

this has been on my wips page for so long and coincidentally i am so so soft for yoon rn :( i just miss him and adore him and yeah this is kind of a product of me wanting to take all of his problems away. hand them over, angel. i’ll take them all. tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy genre: fluff

warnings: semi-unedited eek sorry in advance word count: 2.3k

When you arrived at the dorm for dinner with Yoongi and his friends, you could immediately tell that something was off with your boyfriend.

He was strangely removed from the group with the way he seemed to zone out in the middle of every conversation, adding onto the fact that he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

During the entirety of the meal, he only pushed his food around his plate with his fork, his mind obviously in a different place as his friends laughed at the retelling of stories from their debut days.

You concern really began to grow when you noticed his nervous habit of picking at his cuticles, a tell-tale sign that you were definitely not wrong about this one.

Something was seriously bothering him.

Your eyes stayed on him throughout the meal and followed his movements as he picked up his plate, withdrawing his body from the table and, with slow footsteps and hunched shoulders, trudged through the doorway of the kitchen.

Seeing a potential opportunity to speak to him, you stood from your chair, gathering dirtied plates from the table top while the other members jumped up to do the same. Making sure to thank them for their help, you pushed your chair into its original spot, turning to head into the room to find who you were looking for.

You tuned out their chatter as they followed you into the kitchen, the voices behind you easily going in one ear and out the other as you frowned at the sight of your boyfriend.

Yoongi’s back faced you as he sipped at the glass of water he’d just filled with his eyes directed out the window, seemingly lost in thought. His shifted demeanor from his usual behavior was perhaps unnoticeable to people that didn’t know him too well, as the man was a known introvert, but it never flew over your head.

Watching your bodies appear in the reflection of the glass panes, he took a step to the side, the movement shifting himself over a few inches and creating space for you to place the dishes in the basin of the sink.

“I got the dishes, boys.” You said appreciatively, the men seeming to get your hint as they nodded at you with sympathetic smiles.

‘Good luck,’ Namjoon mouthed to you before turning around to exit the room, ushering the other boys out into the hallway with a shooing motion of his hands.

Successfully pushing the boys out, you sighed as your focus went back to your boyfriend, studying the slight crease in between his eyebrows and the prominent frown settled on his lips as he seemed to switch his concentration to scrubbing at the dish in his hand with a pink sponge.

Silently creeping up beside him, you held your hand out for him to place the object in, him glancing up and smiling slightly at you before handing the dripping wet porcelain off to you.

The air in the room was calm as he continued rinsing the dishes, giving them to you once he deemed them good enough so that you could line them up in the racks of the dishwasher.

You liked to call this the calm before the storm; the period of time where Yoongi was still clueless to the fact that you were fully aware that his smile didn’t meet his eyes. At this moment, he thought he’d done a great job at covering up his true feelings. Little did he know.

Once the sink was empty of its dirtied contents, you made the quick decision that it was time, shutting off the faucet to stop the outpouring of water as you placed yourself in front of him, leaning your lower back against the counter so he couldn’t busy himself with another meaningless task.

“So, what’s going on?” You asked him, Yoongi’s stoic expression changing to one of surprise as he picked his head up to meet your eyes. He only hummed in reply, looking at you with raised brows in a silent question of what you meant.

“You’ve barely spoken all night. Plus, you have that look on your face.” You elaborated, continuing to blink at him as you awaited an explanation.

You could tell he was trying to conceal his frown, the sudden and forced upcurve of his lips in response to your suspicions failing to waver your persistence.

“I have a look on my face?” His brows lifted in surprise, making you nod with widened eyes to exaggerate your point.

“You do. The look that tells me something is wrong.” You persisted, pupils imploring his own to be honest with you as his own guiltily darted from your face.

“I’m okay, angel.” He dismissed with a feigned chuckle, bending down to kiss your temple to attempt to prove his point. He pulled back with a tight lipped smile, turning from you but stopping once you grabbed his wrist, cementing him next to you so that he couldn’t run away.

“I think you’re forgetting how well I know you.” You reminded him, his face blank as you stared at him.

With a sigh, you grabbed his wrist, the man easily following your lead as you walked down the main hallway to his room. You waved a brief goodbye to the men sprawled out on the couch on the way, them knowingly bidding you both goodnight as they watched you retreat to Yoongi’s bedroom.

You were glad that you had been able to pull your boyfriend away from the exposed area, knowing that he would never open up to you if there were possible other eavesdroppers listening in to your conversation.

Shutting the door behind you, you let go of his wrist, releasing him from your hold and leaving him standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Yoongi was not the best at opening up to talk about his feelings, which is something you’d learned in the first couple months of dating. It wasn’t that he was emotionless or cold; it was quite the opposite, actually. He felt everything, he just didn’t like to verbalize it.

“So, gonna tell me what’s wrong now?” You asked as you sat on the edge of his bed, peering up at him with wide eyes as he occupied himself by taking his watch off, setting it on the dresser on the other side of the room, the metal tapping the wood quietly.

He only let out a fake laugh, opening his mouth to deny you again before you cut him off.

“Please don’t shut me out, Yoon.” You said, Yoongi’s eyes casting to the ground at the sudden vulnerable moment as he chewed on his bottom lip.

The room fell silent as you waited for him to speak, only the muffled sounds of the men in the other room fighting for the television remote being heard as you both exchanged brief small smiles at the sound.

“Nothing serious happened.” He assured you, your head nodding as you took in his words.

“Okay, that’s good. But something upset you, right?”

“I just had a bad day, I guess.” He admitted, shrugging it off as you studied his saddened face with a heavy heart, shooting him a look as if to say ‘is that really all?’

“I’m having a lot of trouble with this project.” He heaved a sigh, his tense shoulders dropping with his confession as you nodded, a silent ask for him to continue as you sat all ears.

“I just feel like, with each success that I have, the pressure builds. I’m so happy to have all the opportunities I’ve been given, I really am. But fuck, what if I screw it all up? What if I disappoint everyone?”

Your heart broke at his words, realizing that, yes, this insanely spectacular person in front of you had insecurities about himself and his place in the world. How, you didn’t know. To you, he put the stars in the sky every single night, made the world a better place just by simply being him.

The man was a perfectionist, which was one of the things that you loved most about him. His passion and drive for producing the best quality he possibly could was at the very least admirable. But it was also worrying as a significant other.

You had to put a lot of extra effort into things like making sure he was eating and sleeping properly. There were many nights that you spent sleeping in his studio, waking up every few hours and attempting to drag him onto the cot with you.

Additionally, you were always the one who picked him up when he fell down. In moments where he felt as though he wasn’t worthy of the success he’d had, or feelings that he wasn’t good enough to participate on a track; you were there, boosting his confidence enough to continue on with what he’d been doing before he got sidetracked.

While this was certainly not the first time he had expressed insecurities in himself to you, it was the first time in a while that he had done so. A part of you wondered how long this had been building up inside of him, guilt taking over you momentarily before you pushed it aside, determined to reinstate his belief in himself as you sat up straighter on the bed.

“First of all, I don’t think you’re capable of screwing anything up. When you touch something, it turns to gold, so,” You lightly joked, Yoongi chuckling a scoff as you smiled slightly at him, your face falling again as you got serious.

“I can understand the pressure increasing, but you’re not going to screw it up, baby. It’s alright to feel a little stuck right now, but you’re so fucking talented. You have every reason to believe in yourself.” You said, his face unchanging as he stared at you.

You could almost see the internal war he was having within himself, not knowing whether to believe the voice of the devil on his shoulder or your own.

”By the way, you haven’t been given anything. You’ve busted your ass to earn everything you have. Not once have you taken the easy way out.” You spoke firmly, his blinking speeding up at your words, an attempt to dry his eyes as he awkwardly shuffled under the thick air in the room.

It was when you saw his hands fidgeting at his sides that you stood from the mattress, the simple action providing you with the hint you’d been waiting for.

You’d known Yoongi long enough to know that he asked for comfort in subtle ways, never one to come out and ask for it. He preferred to insinuate the care he needed in small gestures; ones that you could easily miss if you weren’t looking for them.

Wrapping your arms around his torso, you hugged him tightly, palm soothing up and down his spine as he looped his arms around your waist, perching his chin on your shoulder as he sighed in appreciation.

“I’ve been trying new styles, but,” He trailed off, shrugging weakly as he spoke over your shoulder, “I just don’t know if people are going to like it. It’s different.” He sighed, the bunched muscles of his back loosening when your fingertips massaged into the area.

“Who cares if some people don’t like it? They can fuck off.” You said pointedly, Yoongi letting a genuine laugh out at your blunt words.

“Just trust your gut. Look where it’s gotten you before.” You spoke softly, Yoongi biting his cheek and chewing on the flesh anxiously as he listened to you, feeling unbelievably grateful for the endless support and grounding you provided him with.

“I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without you, I hope you know that.” He admitted as he pulled his face back to look at you, you swiping your thumb against his smooth cheek as you nodded.

“We’re a team.” You said, Yoongi smiling back at you before leaning down to brush his lips against yours in an appreciative touch.

“What can I do to help you?” You asked, the apples of Yoongi’s cheeks appearing as he chuckled under his breath.

“You already have.” He squeezed at your waist, voice soft as you studied his features for any of the disgruntled emotions you’d seen earlier. You found none, more of a tired expression in place of the sad one from before.

The skin underneath his eyes circled in rosy purple, his limbs increasingly heavy in your hold as you rubbed his arms up and down in your palms, Yoongi’s eyelids began to flutter out of his control as his shoulders loosened from their tense hunch.

“Alright, well. What else can I do?” You pressed, knowing that despite his change in demeanor, he still needed a bit more comforting.

“I think I’m just gonna lay down. You can go back to the guys if you want, I think they put in a movie.” He turned from you, plopping down onto the bed with a grunt and pulling the covers up over his body as he dug his phone out of his pocket, holding the device above his face so that the screen lit up his features in the dimmed room.

Smiling in amusement at his effort to play it off, you silently padded over to the bed, crawling onto the mattress and dropping your body down beside the man, your head landing on his chest as your arm crossed his stomach.

You didn’t miss the way Yoongi’s lips twitched into a small smile at your decision to stay with him, wrapping an arm around your back to hold you to him as you pursed your lips on the material of his shirt underneath you.

“Thank you.” He murmured quietly, clicking his phone off and setting it down so that his other hand could wrap around your body, holding you to him with a content exhale.

“Teamwork.” You responded simply, Yoongi craning his neck slightly to kiss the top of your head as he shut his eyes, you doing the same as you rubbed soothing circles into his chest with your fingers.

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #435

from yesterday, don’t feel like updating the answers. :^)

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Uhhh. I really don't know... I mean maybe doing all I can do avoid debt? That's what my parents mostly argued about, and I know financial strain can really affect a couple. I never want that burden. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? My damn self. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No; my parents didn't grow up here. Wait! I THINK Mom had one of my college professors? I don't recall for sure, and I definitely don't remember who it was. Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge? Nah. Are there any songs that inspire you? Certainly, such as "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Get Up" by Shinedown, and more. How do you feel about celebrities getting involved in politics? Do you think that the celebrity world and the political world should be kept apart? Not at all; everyone has the right to share their opinion and should not feel like it's necessary to censor it. Let them be people with morals and beliefs, too. I'm totally fine with them CHOOSING to be quiet about controversial subjects, but they're more than welcome to share their thoughts on any topic. What is one pro of living where you do, and what is one con? What is a pro and a con of living where you wished you lived? I guess the only real pro (and this is horrible to be the first thought) is that we're under the radar; like, not really a target for terrorism or anything, lol. I'd get kinda nervous if I lived in, like, Washington D.C. or something. We have A LOT of cons: there is NOTHING to do, we're essentially a hub for crime, the scenery is boring and bland as fuck... I could go on for a long time. I'd love to live in many areas in North America, but I'll go with Alaska, since that would absolute RULE. A strong pro would definitely be the cold climate and the sights, but it would definitely be a con to me when that relentless dark era lasts for months on end. I need the sun (from inside anyway, ha ha) sometimes, because it being dark for what, half a year?, would really damage my happiness. What is your favorite episode of your favorite TV show? Referring to Meerkat Manor, it's actually the one where Mozart dies, I think, even though it destroyed my heart. I just think the writer portrayed it as so beautifully tragic, and the clips shown were so pretty. Does having others watch you do things make you uncomfortable? What sorts of things make you extremely uncomfortable if you are watched while doing them? Are there any things that give you confidence to do if you have an audience? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY. Do NOT watch me on the computer (especially when writing), I literally will not draw if someone's watching (inevitably besides in Art classes, I think Sara is legit the only person who's watched me draw a bit), I really don't like people watching me edit photography, I'm nooot a fan of others seeing me exercise (though I kinda have to suck that up with having a personal trainer), etc. etc. Just don't watch me do anything, lol. I don't know what actually boosts my confidence if I'm being observed. Does someone in your house speak a different language on a regular basis? No. Do you follow or care about any big sports events? Not at all. Are there any activities people normally do together that you prefer doing alone? Hm. I dunno. If you are going somewhere where you’ll have to wait for a while (i.e. a doctor’s office), do you bring something to occupy yourself? My phone, yeah. How long is your favorite song? I checked, and it's almost six minutes. Do you think you’d ever want to be “internet famous”? I'll admit I've somewhat thought about it, only because my career choices are running so dry, and I'd be able to do it alone. However, I've got noooo idea what I'd actually do, and I also don't think I could handle ridicule or anything like that for any reason. Having a spotlight on me would stress me out. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister. What moment in your life have you been most scared? Probably this one occasion where Dad had to pick my sister and me up from school one day and make the 30-minute drive home. Well. He was clearly in a hellish mood because he was flying. He ran stop signs and red lights, passed people illegally... I was in the passenger's seat and absolutely convinced we were going to crash. I can barely believe we didn't. Who was the last person you slow danced with? -_- Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. I like how they block out external sound better, and they don't hurt my ears like headphones do. What person/people do you trust the most? My mom. Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? My parents, sisters, my nieces and nephew, Sara... A lot of people, if I'm being honest. I don't value my life as much as I should. Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? I am DESPERATE to rescue an opossum one day. :''''( What teacher did all the high school boys/girls have a crush on? I have no idea. Have you ever felt seriously violated? No. Do you watch American Horror Story? I adore(d) the first season; it was mine and Jason's "show." We watched most of season two as well, but I lost interest in the later half of it. I haven't really watched it since, save for the pilot episode of some season I forgot. Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? Not to my knowledge. What’s the scariest nightmare you remember having? Something involving my dad that I won't speak about. Pancakes or French toast? Oh my god, French toast. That sounds delicious rn. Are there any apps you’re addicted to? Not addicted, nah. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? Yes; it was a bunny holding a multicolor polka-dotted blanket. Do you still collect stuffed animals? Hell yeah. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? No. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Just black. What font do you usually use? I mean, it depends on what I'm doing. Is it supposed to appear professional? Aesthetically pleasing? It varies too much to answer this with one font. What about font colors? Usually just black, but again, it depends on what I'm writing. Are you good at making graphics or designing layouts? Ha, no. Do you put gel or mousse in your hair? No. Sleep with just one pillow? No, I use two. I am VERY uncomfortable with just one. Ever woke up crying? Yeah, from nightmares. Do you like big dogs or small dogs better? It depends on the breed and their energy level. I don't really prefer one over the other as a general judgment. Are you going to graduate high school on time? I did. Been to the zoo lately? No, but I'd love to go. :/ Now that I'd consider myself at least a pretty decent photographer, I'd love to see what shots I could take. I LOVE photographing animals with how unpredictable they are. It's like playing the lottery; you really don't know what you're going to get, but you have the chance for seriously priceless moments. Even if we could afford the trip, though, I know I wouldn't last long whatsoever with my legs being as weak as gelatine. I know especially that there's a notable incline in the path, and I'd never make it up it. I really, really look forward to the day where I can really start feeling a difference in my body thanks to the gym. Have you ever been to Mississippi? No. What did you do for your last birthday? We went to The Cheesecake Factory. Do you like to cook? No. What is the worst thing that has happened to you in your entire life? If I'm looking at the big picture and what truly damaged my pleasure in life the most, it'd be developing depression and such intense anxiety. I've given up so much and changed so negatively because of it. Do you know when your next family reunion will be? We've never had one. My family is too spread out. What is your favorite thing to do with your significant other? I'm single, but even in a relationship, I love playing video games together. I've got multiple memories of just having a great time doing that. Where is “home” for you? Wherever Mom is. Is there an animal that creeps you out? Whale sharks, maggots and other bug larvae, centipedes, many beetles, and some other bugs. What is the name of the last band you discovered? Uhhh.. good question. I admittedly don't listen to new music a lot. I tend to stick to the stuff I know. Do you prefer group projects, or would you prefer to work alone? I would rather kick my ankle against a Razer scooter than do a group project. Have you ever been to Hooters? No. Do you have a brother? What’s his name? Yeah, Robert, but everyone calls him "Bobby." Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up? About a billion times. I still do sometimes. Do you have a ceiling fan located in your bedroom? Yes. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No, but I was supposed to visit one in the fourth grade. The water was way too aggressive that day, though, so we had a change of plans and went to a closer island. Hell, it might have been the better option, because it had horses. I remember collecting seashells, too, and just watching the power of the ocean hammer at the shores. It was really pretty. Have you ever been bitten by an animal? Only playfully, like by a cat. Well wait, I think my old baby iguana may have bitten me once (he sure tried to, ha ha), but I don't remember for sure. Did it rain today? Yes. It rains pretty much every afternoon here in the late summer. What was the name of the last dog you pet? Zeke, my sister's German shepherd. He's adorable. Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? No. Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? I pretty much always hug my friends when I see them. I'm a big hugger. Have you ever witnessed a tornado? No, thank the fucking Lord. Who is your favorite person to talk to when you’re down? Sara. What are you listening to right now? "Blood For Blood" by Powerwolf. Can you get over people easy? Hell no. I do NOT handle loss well AT ALL. And not just romantically. What was the last thing you carried to your room? A drink. Do you drink water that comes from your sink? Only once it's been filtered. Have you ever prank called the police? That is fucking awful. No. What’s your LEAST favorite smiley? XD looks so stupid to me I'm sorry lmao xD reigns supreme. Do you like Italian food? Yeah, more than I used to. Have you ever put red lipstick on just to make lip marks on something? No. Do you watch Shane Dawson on YouTube? Isn't his career pretty much toast now? I DID used to love his videos, though. I still occasionally watch his fiance, though, and he pops up sometimes. Regardless of everything, I still think he's funny as fuck. Would you ever spend a day to see what it’s like to be homeless? NOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO. I am TERRIFIED of living on the streets someday. I want NO idea what it's like. Is the house you’re currently living in over 50 years old? I highly doubt that. Have you ever had a yard sale? Many. What is your favorite color? Baby pink. Did you have a good day or a bad day? Today was extreeeemely dull and felt like it lasted eons. Do you know anyone that has/had cancer? I sadly know maaaaany. Have you ever read somebody else’s diary? No, that is incredibly rude. Do you enjoy going to school? I hated it from start to end. Like I have good memories, but overall, I hated school. Were you a big jump roper back in the day? OHHHH YES. I almost learned how to double-dutch, even. I could jump with two ropes, but not jump in with two. Are you a local celebrity? Definitely not. Do you eat candy daily? No. I'm already fat dude, I don't need candy. I avoid candy as best as I can. Do you get nervous with public speaking? Like you would not believe. How old were you when you got your driver's license (if you have it)? I'm 25 and still don't have it. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yes. What memory are you most afraid of losing? Meh, I don't know. A lot of what I consider my "favorite" memories I'd honestly be better off losing, probably. Who accompanied you to your first concert? My mom, younger sister, and Jason. Would you rather have tickets to see your favorite band in concert, or $100 to go shopping? TAKE ME TO THE OZZY CONCERT. What do you usually eat for breakfast? It really varies. I'd say cereal most often, probably? Do you wish you were more outgoing? Yeah. Do you know anyone who wears a hearing aid? I don't think so?

#survey #surveys #random questions

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shadako · 5 years ago

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Hello my dudes! Sorry for the silence, I've had some more or less difficult things to deal with lately. Mostly shitty stuff, cause my life, aye! So, the important stuff: 3 COMMISSION SLOTS are now open! *** Here the boring stuff, aka me explaining whats up, feel free to skip: life is not fun for me rn, basically. I'm trying to get my last semester at university done, and I'm in a huge slump of depression and anxiety. Not helping too much there. I'm way behind on the biggest project and struggling to not fall behind on the group project, too. Also trying to get the hang of the official freelance work, which is a b*tch. Mostly huge issues with insurances and the like. Which is also why I'm forced to open comms again, even tho I should focus on university work and have barely any time... they require me to send in MORE proof of payments I get for my work. And NOW. So, yeah... funtimes there. That aside, personal life isnt going great either. Who's hanging around over at my discord might already know some of this stuff. The biggest events that have me in a slump are one of my beloved kitties dying. He was such a cute cuddlebug, and I was a sobbing mess when he had to be put down. Tried everything I could but the docs just couldnt help him. And let me tell you, I do NOT deal well with losing one of the only things I really love in my life. In addition, the whole ordeal cost me about 700 bucks, which I didnt really have. But hey, who needs food if there is a chance of possibly saving my cat. Didnt work out, sadly... Gosh, I miss him. :_( This month I also had the second operation on my jaw for implant stuff. Wasnt high on the fun-times list either. And its not healing like it should. Instead I'm still in lots of constant pain, have to take a ton of meds and antibiotics, because something is wrong. The docs cant tell for sure what, but its not good. So more worrying, more anxiety, more bills, and overall... I'm just very, very overwhelmed and kinda breaking down with it all. Having to go through it all completely alone also isnt helping (my own fault ofc, severe anxiety and depression dont make a good foundation to build any relationships). But, yeah, dealing with it all devoid of any form of real human contact (in a friendly manner) is probably not too healthy, and I'm feeling it. I might need some more therapy (of fkn course I do, lol...) but I'm done on the insurance paid sessions. And I cant afford a 50 bucks an hour appointment right now (thats the low price for students...). Heck, I can barely afford the rent for my 1 room flat in the shitty part of town right at the mainroad. If anybody ever tells you living on your own as a student might be a good idea, they are lying. Unless you have family to support you. (I have my mother, who wants me to support her instead). So, if I seem a little distant or dont reply as quick as usual, its not your fault by any means, I'm just struggling with being a functional part of society hard right now. Rant over! *** And as always, if you feel like talking or just joining a bunch of weirdos: Clicky for twitter ! Here is the discord! Come say hi if you want, show off some arts, talk or anything else!

#personal life #text post #me whining #personal stuff

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apex-man-47 · 5 years ago

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The Michelin Supra doubles as a usable show car apparently.

So, after the deadline passed for a livery competition in a league server that I was in, apparently the judges did place me in second place, somewhat behind an equally nice Ferrari.

To be honest, the fact that I had my longest project place second is actually quite something imo, given the fact that it underwent a hefty cleanup/revision the night prior to my early submission. Currently the server is hosting livery competitions every week, so it’s like I’m putting it on my calendar too!

However, due to my move, I’m glad I notified the respective livery judge about me taking a break until further notice. I did also notify another group (another game I’m in) about my move impacting my contribution to the crew in the overall leaderboard.

Alongside notifying the livery judge, I kinda did spill a little bit of something else - once I am set up and whatnot, a weekend at home will be spent doing nothing but “V1” of numerous liveries I had in mind, and also I will be debuting three liveries in one weekend too, as I’ve been working on them recently up until this past Wednesday. I believe I dropped a teaser or two somewhere already of them.

I do think I might have some shots planned with the car in V4-spec, as it looks nice and clean. Might be doing a scape shot extravaganza to close off my arc on the A90 for good, as I am switching focus onto another GT3 car that I currently compete with - even though I might return to the Toyota squad next year, but with a split usage of both liveries I have currently.

Oh yeah, here’s the car!

To those who remember it, the bare K3 chrome car that existed back in November (with the Michelin Man decal on the side, and the TRD badges up front) is the exact same car you’re looking at in these shots.

I guess another thing planned is a YT showcase video of the livery, both in preview mode and out in track. I’m also going to be posting it on Instagram too.

Outside of GT Sport stuff, I guess I am rather hyped to be working things out in my schedule - as I can like, opt to be putting an hour into GT or anything game related for a solid hour each day, and also yet have time to focus on both work and other aspects of life too (actually did this when I had my internship, can say it felt oddly nice until I adapted to it for the rest of the term, for then it became peaceful) - leaving my Friday nights for pure chill sessions, while Saturday be my day out of the house (doing anything, like a road trip or library visit, or groceries if need be) and Sunday being more like, a fun and productive day itself at home. Bonus part is that I will be with family until early September, as mentioned to a friend and a Discord server, which may help me out in terms of actually getting some stuff done and maybe some valuable experience in some stuff.

Idk man, it’s like I feel both slightly tensed up and hyped at the same time as of rn.

#life in general - volume 2 #the gt sport side of things #toyota #gran turismo sport #gt sport #gran turismo #life #toyota supra #michelin #michelin tires #more interesting liveries to come #trd #toyota racing #toyota gazoo racing

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im-whatchamccallit · 6 years ago

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Determination//Lee Felix (Stray Kids)

Request: Hey darl! I love your blog x I was wondering if I could request a Felix from stay kids idol AU where him and his s/o are both aussies and your on a music show outdoors and the stage is wet and stray kids performs after your group but he watches you dance and slip many times during rehearsal and the stage and is like kinda agnsty but cute! Thank you :) x Keep writing cos it’s amazing :D

Pair: Felix x Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight angst (but not really), Idol!AU

Warnings: Bodily injury

Words: 2.4k

(A/N: Thank you, anon! Sorry this was late btw. Also, sorry if it’s bad or has typos, I’m running on lack of sleep rn. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and, if it’s not to your liking, message me again and I’ll be happy to redo it)

You and your members sang acapella as your bodies lazily followed along, practicing before practice because this was the biggest show of the year, especially for your group, you couldn’t afford to screw this up.

Your group had only recently debuted but had so much buzz around them that they were more than popular around South Korea and most parts of Asia. Besides a few music shows to promote your debut album, this festival was the one of the biggest moments of your life, getting to perform alongside your favorite groups for tens of thousands of people, this is something you could only dream of but, now, it was truly happening.

You smiled brightly as you opened your mouth, the first few lines of your rap leaving your lips before a deeper voice took over, using aegyo and causing your entire group to laugh. You peeked over at Changbin, watching as he danced and rapped cutely which caught the attention of other idols, making them smile at the act. He turned to you and continued to dance as you pouted, his lips curling into a smile.

“Felix wants to see you. I’ll take your spot for you.” He spoke softly for the others not to hear as you nodded understandingly, excusing yourself from the group, not that they minded.

You shyly greeted the other artist, bowing and waving as you went deeper backstage, finding Seungmin and knowing you were close. You listened closely through one door to hear the sound of talking, a deep and familiar voice catching your attention as you eagerly stepped inside, your eyes widening as you saw him. Felix and the others sat around, chewing happily on the pack of Tim Tams and bags of Twisties that immediately caught your eye. Felix looked up mid-chew to see you approach happily.

“Your mom sent you some snacks.” Your face dropped as you wanted to slap him for opening another one of your packages but, instead, you watched as he grabbed one of the cheese curls, holding it out to your lips before you snatched it away bitterly, his lips curling into a smile he knew you couldn’t stay mad at.

You and Felix had been dating for only a few months but it felt like years. When you first arrived to Korea, You knew no one and barely spoke the language. It wasn’t until you were running late to practice that you met him, crashing into his body and apologizing profusely, only for him to give a goofy grin and comment on your accent. Sure, it was nice to meet another Aussie but for him to mock your broad accent to his general one, every time you saw each other, was annoying. You had grown close to Chan, finding his company enjoyable whereas you made an effort to avoid Felix at all times. It hadn’t dawn on you that your actions would hurt him until he pulled you aside one day, his lips drawn into an unfamiliar frown and his eyes hard but sad, questioning why you hated him. From that day on, you began to act kindly to him and him you, cracking jokes and wasting the days away together until, eventually, you two fell for each other. It only took two weeks but you sometimes wish it would have been sooner.

“You realize you owe me more food now?” You uttered as you devoured the single cheese puff, your hand reaching for a Violet Crumble bar, Felix grabbing it first and opening it for you slowly.

“Anything you want, honey bee.” He passed you the chocolate covered candy with a sweet smile, your tongue pressing to the inside of your cheek as your face heated up with embarrassment that he’d say that in a room full of people, people who were oblivious to your relationship.

Before you could respond, a loud explosion-like sound caused everyone to flinch, Felix subtly but instinctively moving closer to you as the lights flickered a bit before going out completely. Your eyes widened as you could hear everyone’s confusion and fear, some even moving from their seats to find the exit and an explanation as to what was going on.

You jumped slightly as a hand reached for yours, lacing your fingers together as warm air grazed your cheek.

“You okay?” Felix whispered to you, your face turning to meet his only to find darkness.

“Yeah, why? Need me to protect you?” You joked back but the way your hand trembled from the sudden events, his body leaning forward before his lips pressed to your forehead.

“I got you.” Luckily it was so dark or else everyone would’ve saw how hard you were smiling.

The lights suddenly came back on, causing you to push away from Felix as quickly as possible, you both finding some pose to seem casual just as a slightly older woman entered, a metal clipboard in her hands as she looked at everyone apologetically.

“What happened?” Jisung asked, everyone eying the woman as she adjusted the glasses slipping from her nose.

“There’s a major thunderstorm right now and its right around this area but it’ll clear out by the time the show begins. (Y/N), your group needs to rehearse and then-“

“But you just said there was a storm.” Felix muttered but was just loud enough for her to hear.

“Yes but the show begins in almost 3 hours. We need everyone with working headsets, microphones, and to know the stage well enough to perform in front of the tens of thousands of people attending. It’s too late to cancel so, let’s go, (Y/N).”

You smiled at Felix who just glared at the women waiting on you. You began to walk with her, the sound of footsteps behind you making you turn but the feeling of a hand grasping yours through the now empty halls. You slowed your walking until the woman was a good distance away before turning to Felix, watching his face twitch a bit as he was deep in thought.

“Are you sure you want to perform today?” His question shocked you but you kept your composure.

“You know I do. I’ve been practicing for this for so long, it’s all any of us could think about. This could be huge for us, Lix.”

Your voice came out more as a plea than a definite statement. You had ran yourself ragged just preparing for this day, losing sleep and meals in an attempt to make sure everything was perfect so, if performing tonight was really what you wanted to do, he had no place to stop you.

“What if you get hurt?” You both stop walking to stare at one another, your fingers wiggling between his as your free hand reached to play with them gently.

“Then you’ll take care of me. Seriously, Felix, I’m going to be fine and we both know I have to do it anyways, I don’t have much of a say on that.” You turned to see the woman from before staring intensely at you, your hands leaving his as you gave a small smile.

“Come watch me practice. You’ll see everything is fine because I’m what?”

“Cute and clumsy?” You rolled your eyes playfully before pushing him, approaching the small huddle of your group members.

No time was wasted as you attached your earpieces, making a few sounds into your microphones to make sure they worked properly before cautiously filing onto the stage, a few of you screaming out as the large raindrops pelted against your skin.

The sound of the music fought against the sound of thunder, causing you to fall a beat behind as the choreography began. You could feel more than just Felix’s eyes on you, glancing to the side to see Momoland and A.C.E watching closely, your nerves suddenly getting to you as you tried to focus on your moves but the sudden gust of wind that blew a wave of rain into your face made it hard.

Although the look on your face was slightly amusing, adding it to the scenario was heartbreaking for the Sydney boy. He couldn’t force you and your group to come back, that would be major trouble for all of you, not to mention this was just the first step of you getting to perform on such a large platform as this so what more can he do than support you?

The sudden call of your fanchant over the water droplets pelting against the stage made you smile slightly, suppressing a laugh as Felix comically screamed to you, eventually the other boys joining in, making the rain, your drenched hair that hung over your eyes, and soggy shoes seem like nothing. You tried to push through the performance, catching yourself as you felt your feet touch large puddles forming on the ground but, the seemed scream of your groupmate startled you, the grip of their hands around your forearm as they fell bringing you with them. You landed on your side with a thud as you held on tightly to the mic, felling them help you stand as you both tried to quickly and quietly continue. You looked over briefly to give Felix a thumbs up, his hands returning the motion but with complete uncertainty, not happy with the circumstances so far.

The next minute or so was painful for everyone to watch. You were all falling like dominoes, especially you. Whether it was the puddles, the slick stage, or losing your footing, you somehow spent more time on the ground than on your feet. But, still, you stayed optimistic, only having your rap and the final chorus to go before rehearsals were over. You smiled brightly as you tried to rush to the center of the formation, falling once more but the silent yet loud crack caused your eyes to widen as your foot curled beneath you. You took deep breaths as the pain crawled up your body, creeping up your spine and around your vocal chords trying to project a scream but you only let a small whimper out. Everyone looked at you expectantly as it was your verse. You couldn’t screw up now.

You grabbed the mic just a few feet from your hands and pushed yourself up, gasping as your injured foot touched the ground, finally deciding one foot was enough as you hopped to the front, standing still as you rapped in shallow inhales, the situation riskier than before.

You were obviously hurt, everyone could see it. Your leader scurried away and told them to stop the music, leaving you dumbfounded as the only beat you had was the slight drizzle left behind from the slowly passing storm.

“(Y/n), let’s get you backstage.” One of the staff members spoke as he and Chan rushed to your side, trying to hold you steady but you pushed them away, nearly toppling over.

“What are you talking about? I’m fine, let’s finish this up.”

“(Y/N), if you can walk over here right now, you can finish practice.” Felix voice rang out, his eyes focused on you with only seriousness as you scoffed, rolling your eyes and hopping closer, his eyes squinting a bit.

“I said walk.”

Everyone seemed to grow silent, waiting for your next move. You pursed your lips and slowly set your foot onto the ground, your face contorting in pain as you applied pressure, the sudden lightning like pain causing you to cry out, Chan catching you immediately and began to guide you backstage, the boys and your group following with concerned looks, but the only one that mattered was Felix’s.

~*~

You eyed your bandaged foot before staring back at the hospital’s television screen, watching the performance once more as it played back to back just in case anyone missed you. The storm had passed long ago and your group did great, Stray Kids were amazing, EXID killed it, and VIXX looked handsome as always; if only you were there to see it all.

“Do you think I’ll be able to stay the night?” You turned your head to see Felix entering your private room with a small woman that looked and acted more as a grandmother than nurse, making you smile that she was here.

“I don’t know, Mr. Lee, (Y/N) might not be too happy about that.”

“Its fine, Nurse Chae, but thanks for being cautious of weirdos.”

She laughed at your comment before quietly dismissing herself, leaving you two alone to stare at one another. The silence and intense eye contact became too much for you as you opened your arms invitingly, beckoning him with your hands. He didn’t hesitate to approach you, crawling into your bed and wrapping your arms around one another.

“You did so well today.” You mumbled into his shoulder, pulling away to see his face, his eyes focused on your leg held up by a sling.

“How’s your leg?”

“Better, actually. I kinda feel like dancing.”

He couldn’t help but smile at your optimism, readjusting so that his arm stretched behind your shoulders, the other by his side. You had a plan today and stuck through with it, almost, and he couldn’t have been prouder of you, even if it meant you wouldn’t be able to promote with your group for your next comeback for the next month. But that surely didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy your time off.

“But, the bright side to this is that you get to stay home and rest and, when I’m not practicing, I’ll be with you or, when you don’t feel like staying in, I can bring you to me and you can stay with me and we’ll spend every day together and I get to-“

“You wanted me to get hurt, didn’t you?” Your question made a mischievous grin appear on his face, his eyebrows playful wiggling as he sat up, your head cocking to the side to look at him.

“I’m just trying to be positive like you and show you that everything will be fine, because you’re what?”

Your tongue pressed to the inside of your cheek as you recognized the statement as the one you made earlier.

“I’m dating an idiot.” You pushed him playfully, only to have him nudge at your neck with his head like a cat.

Of course, it was a bit annoying as his stray strands of hair tickled you but were you going to stop him? Definitely not.

#lee felix imagines #lee felix scenarios #lee felix reactions #lee felix fanfics #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #stray kids fanfics #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop fanfics #kpop au #lee felix au #stray kids au

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amasianfish · 6 years ago

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ya girls really struggling out here

im super depressed these days and the fact that im studying abroad makes it ten times worse.. youre supposed to be having the time of your life when i can barely make it out of bed some days. i put zero effort in my classes and the grades are reflecting that which makes me even more stressed out. its like youre supposed to be making the most out of everything here bc its such a privilege to even be able to study abroad, and i know that, and i just cant do stuff sometimes. i cant focus on anything and dont eat much. its isolating here as well and thats my social anxiety coming into play as well. i have 4 weeks left of the semester, meaning 3 exams, a group project, and 2 essays to do in that time. and idk man. idk whats gonna happen to me. my grades are not good rn and if i cant pull it up thats gonna reflect badly on my transcript. theyll probably just think im out partying all the time abroad when really im in bed doing nothing. grace keeps saying im doing well despite having a rough time bc i keep on going but thats such a low bar and it doesnt seem like it, and its not like my transcript will say “she was super fucking depressed that semester thats why.” and i know when i go home people will be like how was it ??? amazing?? and im gonna be like yeah!! it was so fun!! bc its so ungrateful to say that it was really a hard time. im gonna be broke when i get home too and go home to a not fun home life. all these negative thoughts and like i know coping mechanisms and how to make things better but i just cant. do. them.

#personal

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qkawo · 7 years ago

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Just wanted to have it all written down somewhere about my animal plans for 2018-19... Ep.1 of my mini farm journal.

SORRY PHONE USERS... My goal is to have to buy less grocery store-grade meat for my dog Appa (don’t eat it myself), since the animals get abused their entire lives, esp during butcher transport and holding... At least if I raise them myself they’ve lived happy free-ish lives right up til the end.

So rn- dec 2017- the hen house is almost done, just needs to have electricity pulled into it & do some painting on the walls & door. I just bought an incubinator so I’m gonna hatch some chicks in winter/spring 2018... Rn I’m thinking of having some marans, some wyandottes and some silverudds blå. If I can manage to butcher leftover roos it’d be good to either have a marans roo or a wyandotte roo. I’ve found breeders for all three so it’s just which to get first... (pic is wyandotte - silverudds blå - marans)

Soon, like ASAP, I’m gonna build a quail cage too... I’m still very undecided if I want a hutch-type of cage or more of an enclosure (so net screens while they go on the ground). A hutch has more pros tho - They get more space, it’s way easier to clean and they’ll be more protected from drafts... The plan is to have quails to kinda practise butcher... HOWEVER AWFUL THAT SOUNDS but theyre small so they’re supposedly one of the “easiest” livestock... Cue me crying for 10 hours straight but if I wanna do this I have to get used to it and they do seem a lot easier on the process itself. (I killed a mosquito a few weeks ago on purpose, the first purposeful kill in my entire life, and I felt terrible for like 3 hours so I mean... Yeah...) Also keeping a pet/breeder group for the eggs, they’re way more nuitritious than hen eggs! I’ll have to give away so many hen and quail eggs... I barely ever eat eggs & Appa shouldn’t have more than 2-3 a week...

My fiNAL stage for the “lets stop paying someone to abuse animals” plan is rabbits. I think, emotionally, rabbits will be way harder than birds... There’s always a small rabbit butchery pretty close to here (very convenient since there’s like 3 in the entire country) so if worst comes to worst i can take them there, but I’d still prefer if it were at home. They won’t have been in a car before so I can imagine that’d be a bit stressful for them...

Since I’m gauging if I can do this at all via chicken and quail first I won’t get rabbits til at least 2019... Rn the plan is to do it colony style- 2 breeding does and one buck (2-3 does together in a colony and buck in his own enclosure). I hate having rabbits in cages so I’m def going for large enclosures so they can run around and dig. Rn the plan is to get a New Zealand Red doe that’s already bred just to try it out, I’d keep her in one of the quail hutches and if it works out I’d build the enclosures & buy 1-2 Champagne d’Argent does and one buck. (pic is champagne & then NZ red)

A project I’m gonna test out like this week (today possibly) is growing fodder! I hate haaaaaate commercial feed for animals, it’s all filled w so much shit and is in such an unnatural form. I was thinking of offering commercial feed to the chickens and quail as an alternative just in case the fodder lacks something, but then give fodder full-time as well. Gonna try to grow barley! I’m gonna put rabbits on 100% barley/pea/sunflowerseed fodder if I’m able to get a good system and maintain it. Hens is barley/pea fodder and quails would get the same but with added sprouted lentils for more protein. I also wanna ferment chicken feed! Fodder & fermented is way more nuitritious and better for the animals than dry seed. It’s a lot more work but also a lot cheaper (perfect for me since I’m flat out broke soon). It’s also a really good way to avoid GMO, soy & corn (I can get away from gmo in commercial feed but not soy/corn...)

OK that’s it damn it feels good to have it written out somewhere, I might actually keep up w a journal once I start hatching the first chicks... Already started keeping an expense doc so it’ll be interesting to see how much minus it’ll cost in the end. Kinda impressed if u’ve bothered to read all the way down here and u might be thinking this is a hELL of a lot of work just to feed my dog but tbh I get so sick from buying commercial meat... The guilt is like eating at me too often so I wanna lessen that. If I raise all 3 of these animals I can prob feed half of his diet through happy meat, and focus the rest on slightly better commericial meats (sheep/beef) & game, and thus avoid the grossest ones like pork and birds. Just that, even with all this work, would feel a lot better... And I LOVE pets, all the breeders would be my beloved pets, so I’m just hyped for tending to my family.

#shh nai #homesteadblogging

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jadehqknb · 7 years ago

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The kissing prompt with KnB Akashi and his fem s/o please??? 42, 47, & 51... Sorry if that's a lot lol I figured maybe you could somehow combine the threee into a scenario since they kind of go together? If you can't then just choose 1 of the 3! ^^ In need of some Akashi love rn, gotta love the emperor. Thank you!! ^^

Hi yzzy-gggg, thank you for the requests! I thinkyou’re right and these string together well. I agree the emperor could use somelove on this page and I hope you enjoy.

Seijuro Akashi – Kisses #42, #47, #51

#47: moving around while kissing, stumbling overthings, pushing each other back against the wall/onto the bed

#42: Kisses where one person is sitting in the other’slap

#51: hands on the other person’s back, fingertipspressing under their top, drawing gentle circles against that small strip ofbare skin that make them break the kiss with a gasp

As you approach the Akashi Manor butterflies whirlabout in your stomach. It’s not every day you enter the dwelling of modern dayroyalty. Smoothing your skirt for the hundredth time that morning, you standpoised at the door, reaching toward the doorbell.

Its clear tone sounds through the hallway, signalingto Seijuro you’ve arrived. Eyeing the clock, he’s pleased to note you’re early.Punctuality is something he appreciates.

Outside you fidget as you wait, palms slightlysweaty. It’s not just nerves of where you are, it’s who you’re about to see and be working with. Of all the people foryour teacher to assign you to work with it just had to be the one boy in theentire school who utterly intimidates and captivates you. The door opensrevealing a butler in full suit.

He extends a surprisingly friendly smile. “Ah, youmust be miss ______-san, the young master is in the study. If you will pleasefollow me.”

You enter, trying to keep your expression fromshowing the awe you feel for the beauty of Akashi-san’s home.

“May I take your coat?” the butler asks.

“Um, yes, thank you,” you reply allowing him toremove it.

“This way,” he continues after hanging it up.

Your steps echo through the massive hallway, youreyes trailing over all the exquisite artwork. In little time, you’ve reach the doubledoors of what you presume is the study as your escort stops. He taps so gentlyyou wonder if anyone could possibly hear but a firm, “Enter,” confirms he hasbeen. He opens both doors, drawing back and ushering you forward with a bow andextension of his arm.

“Young master, miss _____-san to see you,” heannounces. He stands again, ready at attention.

“Thank you, Tekkan, you may go,” Akashi-san says ashe rises from his seat. As the door shuts, you bow slightly.

“Good morning, Akashi-san,” you offer, thankful yourvoice isn’t shaking.

“Good morning, _______-san, thank you for being willingto come all this way. Normally I would say we could meet after school but I’msure you know I’m exceptionally busy preparing for the Winter Cup.”

You nod, working hard to maintain eye contact withhim, the intensity of his gaze making it rather difficult.

During the ensuing silence, Akashi observes you,impressed by the way you carry yourself in what is most likely an uncomfortablesituation. His home, he knows, is not the most welcoming and himself rather…intense.He just doesn’t know any other way to be; winners are focused. Partnership andgroup projects are the bane of his existence but when he heard he’d been pairedwith you, well, he knew two things.One: the work would be perfect and two: the company would be enjoyed.

A natural observer, Akashi was rather startled thefirst time he saw you. All day he couldn’t get you out of his head. There was,and still is, something about you that draws him in, keeps his attention onyou. He wonders if you’ve sensed it, but figures probably not. For all hisfocus on winning and the pride of one’s worth, he finds himself admiring yourhumility. You’re kind to everyone, pleasant and respectful, your beautyradiating from inward out.

“Shall we get started?” you ask pulling him from histhoughts.

He smiles and you feel your legs shake. “Absolutely,”he replies heading to the French double doors. Looking over his shoulder he continues,“Forgive my rudeness, is there anything you would like? Tea? Water?”

“No, no, I’m fine, thank you,” you say hastilyfollowing him outside where you see he’s set up, or had set up for him, all thematerials you need for your art project. Having a rather unconventional idea,your art teacher decided it would be a good idea to have her students combinetheir work on one canvas. Looking at the supply table, you see there aremultiple paint tubes, brushes and numerous canvass.

“I thought it best to have additional ones in case somethinggoes awry,” Akashi answers to your inquisitive look.

Of course, he would think that far ahead. Taking adeep breath, you set down your bag, extracting a few books brought forinspiration.

“We won’t need those.” Your red-headed companion’swords surprise you.

“I…I’m not very good at painting freehand,” youadmit.

“In that case, allow me to guide you,” he offers. Hesteps to a docking station, turning on light instrumental music before lookingback at you.

You tilt your head in confusion, but step in frontof the easel when he extends his hand towards it. Moving around you, he gathersa palette, filling it with various colors. Taking a brush, he hands it and thepalette to you. As you step forward, you’re startled when he moves up right behindyou.

“Are you ok with this?” he asks covering your handwith his own, fingers grasping the brush. Throat dry and heart pounding you canonly nod; truthfully, you’re a wreck but would be lying if you said you weren’tgetting a thrill of having him so close to you.

“Relax your arm, that’s it,” he says lowly in yourear and you have to suppress a shiver. Slowly he guides your hand to the paint,selecting the color he wants, and then pulls back, placing the brush againstthe pure white canvas. With slow, deliberate movements, his breath fanning overyour neck, he moves your hand in long sweeping motions.

“I find painting while listening to music to be themost inspirational,” he says gathering another color and moving back to the canvas.“It allows your mind to wander free but at the same time helps you focus onconveying the emotion of the piece, translating it from audio to visual.”

All you can focus on is the heat of his body next toyours.

Akashi has no idea what possessed him to try this,he barely knows you and yet here he is, his chest pressed into your back, his handover yours, his face so near your skin he can smell your perfume and all of it is working against his finely tunedself-control.

When the paint runs low, he releases you, both ofyou missing the contact more than you probably should. You stand stock still,eyes focused on the work you’ve been creating together, though Akashi has beendoing pretty much all the work. Unable to stop yourself, you reach a handforward, the images he’s created feeling like their sucking you into theirdepths. Warm reds, yellows, oranges and pinks swirl together in a typhoon ofcolor, darker purples and blues creating the impression of leaves dancing on afiery wind and in the center of it all there is what appears to be a heart.

You turn your head at the same moment Akashi looksup from what he’s doing. When your eyes lock, it’s as if the rest of the worlddisappears. You have no idea what’s going on between you, but it feels intense andcarnal and…the clatter of the art supplies landing roughly on the table snapyou out of your haze just long enough to realize Akashi is heading towards youat a rapid pace.

A second later, you’re in his arms, his foreheadpressed against yours.

“_____-san,” he breathes out, your name a statementand a question all at once. You barely nod and his lips are against yours. Hekisses you gently at first, but it builds quickly, his arms wrapping around yourwaist tighter. He turns you around, pushing you against the closed doors, makingyou gasp when your back hits the handles.

Akashi curses inwardly; it’s not like him to make amistake like that. Intent on rectifying it, he whirls you to the side, openingthe door and pulling you inside. He lands on the chaise, tugging you down onto his lap, his head craning up to reach your lips once more.

He can’t get enough of your taste, the naturalsweetness of your mouth, the intoxicating scent of your perfume and the feel ofyour body beneath his hands. He’s never felt so out of control in his life.

You’re sure any second now your heart is going togive out. Akashi is, like with everything else, excellent at kissing. A gaspescapes your lips, eyes flying open, when his hand, hot and confident, trailsover the slightly exposed portion of your back between your shirt and yourskirt. He pushes it up further when he feels you lean more into him, pleasedyou want him to keep touching you like this, his already bright eyes flashingwith heat looking at your dazed face.

A hand on the back of your head pulls your lips backto his. He’s more insistent, more intense, holding you tighter and making yourhead swim. Sucking your bottom lip between his teeth, he smirks as you moanlightly, tongue dancing with yours as he enters your mouth and you let himlead.

“Akashi-san,” you whimper, knees shaking from theeffort to hold yourself up.

“Hmmmm?” he mumbles against your skin and youtremble as his hand goes even higher.

Looking into his eyes, you hesitate, nervous aboutcontinuing. You don’t even know why you’ve allowed yourself or him to do this;you barely know each other! And sure, you have friends and acquaintances whohook up all the time, sometimes with complete strangers, but this isn’t how younormally are. The thought that you could have blown a chance with Akashi, of somethingremotely real…

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks pulling awayslightly.

You don’t, but you will, because you’re not thisgirl. You only have to nod once and he’s helping you to standback up, though you’re unsure if your legs will hold your weight. Thankfully,he keeps hold of you.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that…”you swallow once,finding it ludicrous that you could have your tongue down his throat thirtyseconds ago but you can’t get it to work long enough to tell him how you feel.Shaking your head, you try again. Looking back up you finally breath out, “Ireally like you and…and I’m not usually this…this…” you can’t even say thewords, looking away again.

He draws you back to his face, kissing the tip ofyour nose and smiling. “_____-san, please do not think that I think less of youbecause of this. Besides, I’m the one who put us in this position. It should beme asking your forgiveness for my complete lack of decorum.”

“Does that mean…do you regret this?” you ask fearfully.

He shakes his head. “Not at all, in fact,” he leansin again, kissing you gently before admitting, “I’d really like to take you outon a date some time.”

“I’d like that,” you whisper.

“Next Saturday?”

“Perfect,” you reply smiling.

“Good, then let’s get this project done, shall we?”he asks, taking your hand and leading you back out to the terrace.

Needless to say, you both received an “A” for your “stunningrepresentation of the tumultuous storm of the heart”.

#Akashi Seijuro #KnB #bball babe #vball-baes-bball-babes #admin jade #kisses #sfw #yzzy-gggg

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kendrixtermina · 8 years ago

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Extra Typology Vol #1 - Solar Funfacts

Stats: positive and active -

(Indeed, defined as the single most positive type with a pronounced lack of negative perceptions, with every part of their thinking, feeling and doing showing an abundance in its positive parts and underdevelopement in its negative parts. )

Rough Analoga: xxFP, sx 7, sp 2, Mercurial, Artistic

Particularities:

Basics: Optimistic, innocent, delicate, big dreamer, ethereal, hardworking idealist, “too good for this sinful earth”

Perhaps the type least “at home” in our current world, and the rarest (except in some expanded versions of the system) - often feel like they do not fit in without really knowing why, despite all their attempts to the contrary.

Often described as “full of light”, but despite their genuine enthusiasm, might harbor an inner sense of melancholy or loneliness

Live in a magical world of phantastical possibilites long after all others have become accustomed to the harshness of reality - unaware of limitations, be it their own, those of other people, or of the world at large; Underestimates the negative potential of situations & might fail to detect when others are being insincere or selfish

Focus on abstract, utopian theories; Might espouse idealistic far-fetchesd visions of social change or be drawn to metaphysics and philosophy

Almost seems to be pure energy - will work and/ or play extremly hard with no sense of when it is time to rest. Highly focussed on their aims and work tirelessly, if not obsessionally, in pursuit of those aims; Is not deterred when their implausible projects don’t work out

The sort to “forget to eat”; Might live only on chocolate bars if not supervised. Tends to neglect self-care & overtax their body, forgets about time or dressing appropiately for the weather

Does not easily learn from experience

May fail to get jokes, especially dark humor

Uninterested in mundane every day life - Drawn to unusual pursuits such as renaissance fairs or new-age groups; Might find them no less arbitrary than the “ordinary world”.

Evidently the snowflake of the essence types, which might be why the popularized 12 gram version leaves them out, though there should be little overlap with the 9-gram’s 4s as those are distinctly focussed on negatives. Perhaps someone with both 4 and 7 fixes might be a kind of equivalent, but, I know what type of person this refers to, I can think of both real & fictional examples rn. In any case, now both optimistic and pessimistic individualist/special/artsy folks can find a home somewhere. Yay~

Strenghts:

Prodigous hard work often pays off and may accomplish sucess even in loftly goals others used to scoff at

Attempt things no one else would like to try

Loves & believes in sucess stories

The classic romantic (or tragic) hero; Is often found charming & endearing by others

Ambitious and given to workaholism

Common Pitfalls:

Naivity - getting swindled and exploited repeatedly and failing to learn from it

Power/vanity - might be driven to archieve their idealistic visions no matter the cost

these two potential flaws are not mutually exclusive, at worst, they might combine and you get either the charming supervillain who can’t be talked out of their tragic dream, or a fool who’ll risk everything on a harebrained sheme

Career Recomendations:

Celebrity

Artist

Entertainment industry in general

Subculture related work

All manner of idealistic and abstact pursuits, anything “non-mundane” that might require a lot of dedication

In relations:

Often the “good kid that falls in with the wrong friends” and then isn’t shrewd enough to not get caught or weasel out of the bad consequences

Tends to see the good in all people

Conversely, is frequently beloved, adored & found attractive - “Star Quality”

However, might lament the shallowness in everyday life and social relations, struggling to find real satisfaction

Living in close quarters can become a little annoying as you might find yourself nagging them about their bare necessities

Intertype Relations:

Has no particular attraction or repulsion to any type nor an ‘ideal match’ and thus may lament the lack of both the joy & heartche that result from passionate love or deep friendship

Often marry each other and join in each other’s bohemian lifestyle

How to get along with:

If you have a Solar in your life, you can resign yourself to some caretaking; Make sure that they eat & wear appropiate clothing

It’s not easy to talk them out of a pipedream venture because they wholeheartedly believe in it and are grimly determined to carry it out

How to parent:

Try to instill solid habits in terms of taking care of the body’s needs - you can’t expect them to settle into healthy rythms on their own.

Don’t expect them to “learn their lesson” after a negative evnts like falling out of a tree or being swindled by shady friends - rather, use setbacks as an opportunity to introduce them to habits of caution and safety, and reinforce them

Because your kid is sensitive and delicate, you might be tempted to be lenient with them - remember that they will be on their own eventually

#essence types #planetary body type #12gram #extraTypology #typology #sun #solar type

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thmsedit · 7 years ago

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Just wanted to have it all written down somewhere about my animal plans for 2018-19... Ep.1 of my mini farm journal.

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