#groggy gary

[manicdream13]

i actually have like no memory of drawing half of this but ok

[starcloudedsky]

just found this picture of jerma on pinterest.. not sure from when.

[big-fongz]

GROGHEADS LFG BEST JOKE TAKING MORE THAN 5 MINUTES

[jermasquirma]

[gomtotemeal]

It wasn’t until we were driving home from dinner that my wife Diane told me that the chips and guacamole I had been eating hadn’t been meant for the entire table.

“Deb and Gary ordered it for themselves when you were in the restroom.”

“What!?  But I thought that everybody was…”

“Nope, just you.”

“Oh no!”

Diane slouched casually down in the passenger seat and kicked her feet up on the glove box.

“It was strange,” she said. "Your face was so red and contorted.  It was like you were eating just to see if you could eat everything.“

In a cold sweat I thought back to the dinner and realized that my wife’s description was spot on. Not only had I partaken in the chips and guacamole, I had been attacking them like a starved animal.  At one point I was even rhythmically alternating between hands the way a boxer might attack a heavy bag. Left chip, Right chip. Dip, dip.  Eat, eat.

"You couldn’t have told me?” I asked weakly.

“We were trying to tell you without making a big deal out of it,” said Diane. "I called your phone a couple times and I know Greg was trying to kick you.“

"That was Greg?  Christ, I thought that was you!”

And in fact, I HAD noticed the kicking. Thinking it had been a rare moment of erotic spontaneity from my wife, I had returned the ‘kick’ by removing a dress shoe and pinning my opponent’s leg with a single stocking foot before sliding my toes inquiringly up and along the length of the accompanying inner-thigh.

“How did Greg seem when we left?” I asked.

After Diane went to bed that evening, I sat awake sipping whiskey sours and replaying the evening’s events in my head. It wasn’t until after my third or so drink that I decided it was best to simply call up Deb and Gary to apologize and explain the miscommunication. But I was unprepared!

“Hello?” answered a groggy voice.

“Avocados,” I slurred.

“Who is this?”

I hung up.  

The next morning it dawned on me that probably every single phone had Caller ID. I wanted to ask Diane if Deb and Gary had Caller ID, but in a way that seemed casual so as not to reveal my actions from the night before.

Over coffee I said, “So last night Barb was telling me that Deb and Gary don’t have Caller ID. Haha! Man! Is that even true?”

“Why would Barb say that?”

“She just did, goddammit!”

[cillianhead]

Give us thigh riding with Cill or Tommy, please 🙏🏻😮‍💨

Thank you nonny for this wonderful request <3

Lazy Sundays || Cillian Murphy x Reader

warnings: Smut, thigh riding, cursing, sort of exhibitionism (Cillian is on the phone while... reader rides his thigh), choking, Cillian being a little rough with reader, degradation, general adult content!!

18+ Minors DNI

The sun had barely risen when you woke up, and Cillian was nowhere to be found, which was unlike him so early in the morning. You frowned as you sat up, rubbing your sleepy eyes, and softly slipped out of bed to find your husband.

You found him at the bottom of the stairs, grumbling on the phone with someone. You assumed it was something work-related. You quietly padded down the stairs and sat down next to him with a gentle smile, still incredibly sleepy and wanting to go back to bed.

"Hey baby," He mouthed to you silently before grumbling something back to whoever was on the phone was. He wrapped an arm around him, pulling you into his side. You curled around his arm and nuzzled your face into his soft sleeve. "Thanks, Gary... bye, mate." Cillian muttered before hanging up the phone.

"Cillian..." You whispered with a pout. "Let's go back to bed... you promised a lazy Sunday today... and it's too early..." You winged.

"Sleepy girl," He chuckled breathily, leaning in and pecking you on the lips. You hummed happily at the little sliver of love he gave you. "Come on, darling... let's go back to bed." He extended a hand out to you as he stood up and you took it gratefully as you yawned dramatically.

Cillian gave you a gentle smack on your ass as you crawled into bed. "Why'd you do that?!" You whined.

"'Cause I can," He snickered, pulling the both of you under the covers and pulling you close to him, conveniently placing his thigh right in between your legs. "You're so beautiful." His voice was low and gravelly; he was still quite groggy from how early it was in the morning, and the low vibrations made you feel so fucking dizzy.

"Cillian..." You whispered as he slipped off his long sleeve shirt and ushered you to take yours off too.

"Morning sex?" Cillian asked as if you would say no. "Please, baby? Fuckin' had the nicest dream about you last night."

"Oh, yeah?" You grinned, the both of you fully topless and Cillian's thumbs rolling easy circles on your exposed nipples. "What happened in it-"

RING! RING!

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Cillian groaned, reluctantly pulling away from you slightly to reach over to his phone that lie on the bedside table. "It's from the same bloke... he's tryin' to arrange a time for an interview." You whined as he started to get out of bed.

"No... stay..." You clung onto him, digging your fingernails into his biceps. "I'll be good... I promise..." You gave him those eyes you knew he couldn't deny.

"Alright, just be quiet..." He said cautiously, laying back down as he brought the phone to his ear. "Hey, Gary... what's up? Somethin' wrong?"

As you zoned out of the conversation, scooting yourself slightly closer to Cillian, trying your best to seem as casual as possible. Cillian hummed as he discussed a time and place and chatted on the phone, not paying mind to the fact your thinly-clothed cunt was beginning to slowly grind itself on his thigh. Biting your lip, keeping in your whines as you looked up at Cillian, feeling incredibly flustered by how nice his thigh felt against your clit. You noticed the stubble that accumulated along his picture-perfect jaw and rolled your eyes into the back of your head as you found the perfect rhythm. He was so perfect; every part of him fit perfectly with you... or inside of you. No one else's thigh could get you off the way his do.

It took Cillian a few moments to realize what was happening, and by then, it was too late to stop you. He raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. You knew he couldn't say anything, which made you smirk. He could just push you off of him, and you'd stop, yet here you were, shuddering with pleasure as he flexed his thigh precisely to enhance the pleasure you were feeling. He kept talking nonchalantly, acting as if his hot wife wasn't fucking herself on his leg, acting as if he didn't have a raging boner that was begging to be touched. The man on the other end of the phone had not even the slightest clue that there was anyone else even in the room with Cillian.

"Sounds good," Cillian hummed. "Alright, yeah... see you then." And when he tossed his phone to the side (not before turning it completely off), he looked at you with a fire blazing in his eyes. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I... don't know... what... you're talking about..." You said through tiny gasps.

"Yeah?" He quipped as he jolted his thigh right up into your pussy, causing you to let out a loud mewl. "Why the fuck is there a wet patch on me leg then? Hmmm?"

"Don't know... Cillian..."

He shook his head in disbelief before curling his fingers around your throat and pushing you down into the sheets until he was hovering above you, his hand still choking you firmly. "Such a spoilt whore," Cillian growled as he slipped your soaking panties down until you were entirely bare before him. "You couldn't even wait five minutes for me to get off the bloody phone."

"J-Just... I'm so horny..." You whined, voice high pitched, and your body writhed for any sort of touch as he held your thighs open. Your glistening hole was on display for him. It felt shameful and humiliating the way he was looking at you. Despite the fact he had seen you in every angle there was to be seen and had seen your vagina countless times, it still felt painfully vulnerable when he had you spread out like this. "Please..."

"I know," He soothed, running a finger down the smooth skin of your inner thighs. "You just can't help it..." He cooed, and you smiled at how sweet he was being. "Y'just so dumb and pathetic, aren't you? Can't think about anything except gettin' fucked when I'm around... know you can't help it, yer just a girl..." He whispered into your ear, and you were revelling in his words and gentleness until he placed a harsh and hard smack right on your poor clit.

"Fuck!" You cried, arching your back. "Why'd you do that?!"

"Don't pretend to be innocent, Y/N," Cillian muttered as he switched the position so you were straddled on top of his thigh. "Go on, ride my thigh." He demanded.

"But..." You slid your hands up his other thigh to where his cock fought with his trousers to be free. "I want you... inside of me..." "Too bad, eh?" Cillian smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yer not getting any help either, gonna have to do it all yourself... like a big girl." Cillian leaned back, a smug grin on his hauntingly beautiful face.

So slowly, feeling awfully embarrassed, you pressed your naked sex against his hairy thigh and began rocking yourself in slow motions. You closed your eyes, holding onto Cillian's waist for balance as you picked up the pace, moaning desperately for release.

"Look at the mess you're making," Cillian scolded with a 'tsk tsk', eyes fixed on the way you rubbed yourself on his thigh. "Gushin' all over me leg, you look so cute."

"Let me cum on your thigh..." You whined quietly, head hung low with shame as you felt your impending high coming closer and closer. "Please." "You're gonna cum already?" Cillian laughed condescendingly. "Go on then, give me a show."

You nodded and mumbled a sweet little 'thank you' before grounding your pussy even harder and faster into his sticky thigh until you found yourself trembling on top of him. His hands now reached out to you, guiding your hips along for you while you let yourself be swallowed whole by your orgasm. He knew you were too limp to do it yourself and even once you were done he kept rocking you back and forth with his hands, moving you like a puppet until you were begging for him to stop.

"Please... Cillian..." You cried, trying to raise your hips up to stop the torturous friction. "Please... it's too much." "Nuh-uh... want one more from ya... then I'll consider giving you my cock."

You squeezed your thighs tightly around his, clit aching from the sore friction and how overstimulating it was. Cillian was mesmerized by the way you looked, too busy watching the way his thigh grew wetter and wetter and the way your hips looked in his hands. It was the most beautiful sight to be seen... and with the added sound of your sweet moans of his name... he felt like he could cream his pants without even laying a hand on his cock.

"That's it, angel girl," He praised, bucking his thigh up into you harshly. "You look so pretty, so perfect, getting me all wet."

"Gonna cum... again..." You choked out, eyelids squeezed shut as you began convulsing.

"There we go, give it to me," He cooed, voice low and intoxicating. "Fuckin' hell," He could feel your cum leak out onto his thigh, it was almost a bit ridiculous how wet you got from him and how much of a mess you made. "Good girl... good girl... that's right."

You collapsed on top of him once he finally set you free. You panted, crawling up so your head was by his, and you kissed him gently. "Thank you... thank you... Cillian..." You whispered, all dazed and sleepy since it was still early in the morning.

"Not done with you yet," Cillian whispered, running his lips along your sensitive neck. "I think you've been good enough for a treat."

Your ears perked up at that and suddenly your eyes were no longer drooping. You sat up like an excited dog and looked at him with your head tilted. "What is it?"

"Gonna let you suck me cock," He grunted, slipping the band of his Calvin Klein briefs down until his hard cock laid flat on his stomach, oozing precum from his pinkish head. Your lips parted as you drooled at the sight and wrapped your fingers around his thick shaft. You were practically making heart eyes at it. "Don't act all shy on me now, love... go on... I know you know how to suck me off... now go on and do it, and I'll cum down your pretty throat."

-----

i listened to cry by cigarettes after sex on repeat while listening to this. i hope you enjoyed! it's short but i like it :-)

[jenderenvy985]

close enough. welcome back groggy gary

[conchoronzon]

Is it possible when you have the chance can you do a stepdad vore stepson because wife wanted to get rid of old family with ex husband

Joe's bachelor party was supposed to be pretty simple. His brother, Gary, my future uncle, was the one who was planning all of it. A small group of us guys just hanging out at the hotel a couple of days before the wedding. Video games, beer, poker, tanning, steaks.

When my phone went off while at the pool, Joe splashed some water my way. He may have been a suave lawyer, but he was always a little playful. "That Grindr?"

And of course, that led the rest of the guys teasing me. Gary grabbed his speedo with a chuckle and said. "I ordered some women. Wouldn't have done that if I knew we had a cocksucker here."

"I'm not going to suck your cock, uncle," I said.

Joe grabbed me. "So he gets to be 'uncle' but you still won't call me 'dad,' huh? Little shit." We went under water.

That night, we were drinking beer in Joe's room. We were on our second round of Texas Hold 'Em. Porn played on one tv on silent - gay porn, a sort of "first person to get hard has to suck everyone's cock thing, no doubt more teasing aimed at me. On another, some violent action flick I'd never seen played. The effects were outdated. My vision was getting a bit blurry. My eyes were heavy. Why was I so tired?

"You okay, bud?" Joe asked, and then I passed out.

When I cam too, groggy and blinking away the blurry lights, my head was pounding. My limbs were stiff and heavy. My breaths were small, but it wasn't like it was hard to breathe. Everything was cool and sticky. Gary was grinning down at me. He was naked. "He's awake," he called. The rest of the guys cheered.

I was on the table. The guys were over by the TV. They were all naked, including Joe. God he was handsome. Nice thick cock, too. What was I thinking? That was gross. Shit. Were they making good on the whole "having a cocksucker around" thing?

Joe made his way to the head of the table or, rather, where my head was. His heavy balls pressed down against my forehead. They were so warm. "Too bad you didn't want to call me daddy while choking on my dick, kid," he said. He called me that when he wanted to piss me off. I'd just graduated college. I was a grown-ass man. Him being a prick like that sometimes was why I refused to call him dad. Not to mention, he still wouldn't be my step-father for a few more days.

He ground his balls against my face, then pulled away and leaned over me with a wicked grin. "If you had, I probably would've kept you around. But your mom wants a family of our own, and if you don't want to be my pet, then..."

His jaw unhinged like some creature from a horror movie. My slow heart stopped for a moment. When it came back too, the world was dark and wet. His tongue pulsed beneath my head. His teeth gently scraped over my back. Slick, wet sounds, swallowing sounds, filled my ears as I slipped further... inside my mouth.

Joe was eating me.

My head dangled over the abyss of his throat. Outside, the guys cheered him on. Someone was rubbing their cock between my feet. Others were engaging my hands.

A slight, impossible light filled his throat. Saliva spilled down the pink walls of his throat. "Stop," I whispered. I didn't have the energy to scream. Then I was falling head first down the cavern. It pressed tight against my flesh and, shameful though it was to admit, it felt amazing. I was hard and leaking by the time my cock slid into Joe's mouth. His tongue slipped between my cheeks and prodded at my hole.

Almost as if it were a last breath, I moaned louder than I had in my entire life. It was a plea, though what for I couldn't tell. To cum? To get fucked by future dad? For him to finish eating me?

When my feet passed between his lips, they were covered in the cum of his brother and buddies. I curled up in the tight, warm, slightly smelly embrace of Joe's stomach. He belched, and the sound rattled my brain. I went dizzy.

"Looks like I'm pregnant with you now," Joe said. "Gonna call me dad now that I'm pregnant with you?" Of course he was teasing me. He never refused a chance for that.

"What did you do?" i asked.

"I ate you. And now I'm gonna turn you into a big steaming pile, you piece of shit," he laughed. "You want to be my shit?"

The warmth was starting to sting my skin and the inside of my mouth and nostrils. "I don't want... to be shit, daddy," I pleaded.

"Lesson learned: never turn down daddy."

~~

I woke in a sweat, my dad's thick, hairy arms wrapped around me. We were naked in his bed. We started sleeping like this on my 21st. I drank with him for the first time and started crying about mom's death. He cried too. One thing led to another, and he ended up pounding my ass like a beast.

It was a dream. It was just a dream... but...

"What's wrong?" Dad asked, snuggling into my neck.

"I had a dream you ate me," I said.

Dad pulled me tighter against him. When he whispered, there was a growl. Something hungry. "Did you remember being daddy's shit? Getting flushed down the toilet? How you kept begging me not to digest you? You told me I'd get to fuck you all I want." His cock hardened against my ass. "You know... It might be time for me to put my boy back in his place." His big hand grabbed my cock. "Steal all your youth while you melt away into a big meaty soup in my gut. Maybe next time you'll remember sooner. Beg me to eat you." He licked my ear. "Wanna test it out, baby? No promises I'll let you out."

Despite the pounding of me heart, I nodded. "Yes, daddy."

[snow--berry]

Roommate AU #1

Characters: John Price, Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, John “Soap” MacTavish, Simon “Ghost” Riley, Gary “Roach” Sanderson

Context: For convenience reasons and future things I have planned, you‘ll be sharing this really big house with all of the characters I‘ll write these headcanons for. Why are you sharing this house? Just because I can. I’ll find a better reason later. This also includes Alejandro, Rudy, Graves, König and Horangi. This is kinda like a peaceful AU, where they don‘t work military jobs. This can be read as platonic or romantic, I don‘t really care.

John Price

•He‘s the peace keeper in the household along with Rudy.

•He can‘t go without tea in the morning and it‘s the first thing he does. If you drink tea and are awake just as early, he‘ll also make you a cup.

•Price is only half-awake in the morning, so he‘ll accidentally say yes to the stupidest things, because he isn‘t really paying attention.

•Maybe he could work as a police officer? I'm not sure if I can see him do anything else. Suggestions are greatly appreciated lol.

•I feel like he’d play chess. Or just like. Strategy games altogether. With anyone who’s willing to join :D

•But mainly with Ghost and Alejandro. And König if he’d have the balls to approach Price.

•If you decide to play with him and know the rules of whatever game you’re playing already, it’s no mercy mode.

•If you don’t, or are still learning, he’ll go easy on you.

•He usually can be found in the living room, kitchen or backyard.

•He isn’t home for most of the day, due to his job, but he enjoys having dinner with whoever is available. He obviously favours Gaz and we all know it. That his adopted son after all—

•Also, because he’s an old man, he goes on long walks for no reason

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

•He’s somewhere in between troublemaker and just kinda chills

•I know this sounds very contradictory, but hear me out.

•He doesn’t get in trouble often, but when he does he’s either having a mischievous day, he’s purposely messing with Price, his dad or the most common option; he’s being dragged along by Soap and Roach.

•Even if he’s being dragged along, he just films whatever bs Roach and Soap are up to though. They need a camera man!

•In the morning he also makes himself a cup of tea, but he’s awake later than Price is. Usually when breakfast is ready already

•He’s a little groggy and sometimes grumpy in the morning. (Soap advice to you when you join the household is to not talk to Gaz before he’s had his breakfast and tea!)

•I can see Gaz spending hours in the bathroom in the morning and he ends up pissing everyone off, especially because Horangi, Alejandro and Soap also take ages in the bathroom

•I’m not sure what he’d work as, but maybe a professional gymnast? Is that what they’re called? Help—

•Or maybe a daycare attendant?

•I think he’d like cooking, so he usually makes dinner and lunch for everyone

•He has two lists; one with everyone’s allergies, likes and dislikes, and one with the meals he makes for dinner for the week

•Sometimes he’s away for a week or two at a time because of tournaments he attends

•He doesn’t mind sharing a bed if you have nightmares, or just enjoy close physical contact altogether. Especially during movies!

John “Soap” MacTavish

•Chaos Gremlin #2

•Usually is the one to drag Gaz along

•His shenanigans usually involve but aren’t limited to: drawing on sleeping people, mixing up salt and sugar, turning off the light in a room where people are, climbing on random shit, hiding people’s stuff & so much more These are all Roach’s idea btw, but you didn’t hear it from me—

•Will happily involve you in his shenanigans as well, you usually don’t have a say lol

•Drinks coffee in the morning, hot chocolate if he’s feeling silly

•He’s upset when people come after him for taking ages in the bathroom, he needs to style his mohawk properly!

•Constantly misplaces his ADHD meds, they mysteriously reappear on his pillow sooner or later

•He has this joking conspiracy, that there is a shadow man cryptid thing or a guardian angel giving him back his meds because no one in the house admits to placing his meds onto his pillow

•Works as either a football coach, PE teacher or freelance artist

•Still has a sketch book full of sketches and full-blown artworks of all kinds of stuff

•Has sketched/drawn every household member at least twice

•Also doesn’t mind physical affection, especially not since he’s pretty touchy himself

•Also definitely mixes different shampoos together lol

Simon “Ghost” Riley

•Is always, and I repeat always the first one awake

•Also drinks tea first thing he wakes up

•Sometimes at ridiculous hours, like, no one needs tea at 2:53 AM! He disagrees

•Knows of Soap’s and Roach’s shenanigans, only watches them… usually, there are times where he does stop them

•You’ll rarely see him around when you first join the household, he doesn’t quite trust you yet He also doesn’t like change. ‘Tism who? He don’t know her—

•The more he gets used to you, the more you’ll see him around

•He likes to tell you his jokes if you happen to be awake around the same time as him, it’s a bonding experience!

•He works as a dog sitter or a bodyguard. There is no in between. I do heavily lean towards dog sitter though

•Don’t touch him

•Unless he explicitly tells you it’s okay, that is

•Accidentally gives the worst side-eyes in history

•He is the shadow man cryptid/guardian ‘angel’

Gary “Roach” Sanderson

•Chaos Gremlin #1

•No one out-gremlins him

•Don’t even try, you will fail

•I was thinking Party Planner, but my friend came up with Entomologist

•So, he’ll do party planning as a hobby because I can’t let go of that headcanon.

•90% of the parties he plans are insect themed birthday parties

•He also has a few pet bugs and Rudy hates all of them

•Also, all of the shenanigan ideas are his

•Usually can be found in trees in the backyard or in a random bush somewhere in the neighborhood

•If you don’t speak BSL or ASL, he’ll start carrying a notebook and a pen around for you

•Randomly stands in a corner of your room at night and T-poses because he thinks it’s hilarious

•He’s like an outdoor cat, he sometimes isn’t home for a few days but he always comes back home at some point

•Roach is also sometimes outside all day long and only comes back for dinner

[dailyjermasparkle]

Can you make with the groggy Gary stream thing, that says something along the lines of “keep on keeping on and sparkling on! Don’t forget to take a break!”

i hope this was the correct image lol

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Chicken Noodle Soup | Guest Check

Kyle is bedridden after the Piccadilly attack. Nina promised his mum she'd take care of him.

cw: description of injury, sexual assault mention

masterpost

“Thanks for dropping me off!” Nina grinned as she heaved the soup pot up from John’s backseat. There was a fresh layer of snow on the ground and fairy lights up and down the street. The light was on in Kyle’s apartment. He’d only been out of the hospital for two weeks. Still mostly bed ridden beyond physical therapy and the bathroom. His mum had asked her to keep an eye on him. She promised she would so now she had to haul soup, fresh bread, and biscuits up several stories. 

“Of course, love. Let me know if you or Kyle need anything.” John had helped her make everything earlier in the day. Classic chicken noodle with fresh roasted chicken and enough noodles and veggies to make it a hearty meal. She’d made sourdough and biscuits. 

“I will!” She closed the car door with her hip. She shivered as the door to the building closed behind her and the warm air hit. It was a struggle with everything in her arms. She never minded it. She was just happy Kyle was okay. 

It was late October when they heard the bomb go off. She, John and Simon were working on the menu for John’s new restaurant. Kyle had told her the day before to stay in or stay with John. That something bad could happen. John had to hold her to keep her from running out. She knew in the pit of her stomach something was wrong. Started wailing when Kyle’s mum called her. 

He was alive but beaten to hell. Broken legs and ribs, concussion, internal hemorrhaging, shrapnel embedded almost everywhere. She and his family took shifts watching over him in the hospital. Took him days to wake up. No brain damage but he was going to be medically discharged from the army. She knew it broke his heart. As much as she hated that he enlisted, she didn’t want it to end like this. 

“Nina! What have you got cooked up for us today?” Declan greeted. He was one of Kyle’s roommates. Irish, incredibly kind but a bit of a bellend sometimes. Gary, the third roommate, was behind him. Gary was also very sweet but she had never heard him speak. “It’s a once in a blue moon thing,” Kyle had said. Gary waved before offering to take the pot out of her hands. 

“Soup, bread and biscuits. There’ll be leftovers,” she assured. 

“I don’t know what Kyle did to deserve you but I’m glad he did it. Let me get the lift for you.” Declan hit the buttons for her. She refused Gary’s offer of help. They were headed out anyway. It would be nice to be alone with Kyle for a bit. 

“Thank you. See you guys later.”

Once she was inside she set about putting the pot on the stove and getting everything ready for dinner. She peeked inside Kyle’s room and he was asleep. He slept a lot, needed it to heal. He’d always apologize for it but she liked just watching him sleep. The boys did their best to help him on the day to day but Kyle had always been independent. He didn’t like asking for help. 

He wouldn’t let Nina help with his wheelchair despite the fact his arms were still sore from the numerous surgeries to remove the shrapnel. Anytime she got him out of the flat he only wanted to go to John’s restaurant and that was only because he’d got a ramp for Kyle to get in and out easily. It was a gamble for most other places and Nina struggled to lift him up and over even small steps. It was easier when Roach and Declan were around. Always eager to help those two.

While the soup heated up she crept into Kyle’s room. It wasn’t easy to wake him. He was a deep sleeper (mostly due to the painkillers) and now startled awake no matter what she did. Sitting down on the bed, she took one of his hands in hers and squeezed gently.

“Hey baby,” Nina said softly. He still jumped awake.

“Nina?” He was groggy, eyes blinking open slowly. 

“Good evening, sleepyhead. Here, drink.” She took his water from the nightstand and held it up to his mouth. “I made soup and bread.”

“You really are an angel. Got me worried I died in my sleep.” He gave a toothy smile, giving her hand a kiss before she pulled it away. She bit her lip, turning her head to hide her face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t say that.”

Kyle wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him and leaned his head against her side. “You’re still an angel though.”

“Let me get you food.” She ran a hand over his curls before standing up. She heard him cuss at himself under his breath. She knew how hard all this was for him. Having all these career prospects ripped away in one explosion. She also remembered being the first one to the hospital. His parents had to drive down from Birmingham. Evie, his sister who was freshly at uni in London arrived shortly after Nina. She and his sister just held each other in the hospital waiting room. Evie never told him she was out with friends that night, just a couple streets away. “I had no idea he was there,” She cried. Nina promised to keep that a secret. 

She thought about all those wasted years. How she was so upset over him joining the service and how she refused to talk to him for almost a year. How much she missed him. How happy she was when he came back from basic and fucked her in the back of his car. How they played a continuous game of “what are we?” because she was afraid to commit, that her own secrets would come out eventually. They were friends with occasional benefits. She wanted more. She wanted to be his girlfriend again. Things felt different now. A brush with death would have him wanting more than her. 

She quickly wiped her tears on her sweater sleeves before plating up his dinner. She buttered his bread and got him freshwater. 

“Bon appétit,” she grinned as she brought the tray in and set it in his lap, careful of his casts. 

“Thank you, Nina.” 

She sat and ate at his desk while some panel show played on the telly. She mostly watched Kyle. Making sure he wasn’t struggling and that he finished everything. He didn’t like it but she just reminded him she promised his mum. 

“Nina?” He was looking at her with a nervous expression.

“Something wrong?” She hoped her face conveyed her thought of ‘whatever you need from me, you’ll have’. 

“C’mere.”

They moved the tray to the desk and she sat down beside him again. He ran his fingers along the bottom of her sweater. 

“I love you, Nina.”

A warm feeling spread through her body. She dreamed about those words so why did she feel so ashamed hearing them?

“I want to go back to us. I love you and I miss you and I don’t just want you sometimes. I want you all the time.” Her hands balled up into fists on her lap. It felt like a gift she didn’t deserve. Oh but she wanted it too. God, she wanted him. “Don’t cry. I…I didn’t mean to make you upset, Nina. I’m sorr-”

She kissed him. It was awkward with her arching weirdly to avoid hurting him.

“I love you. I love you and I miss you.” She cried. “I thought I lost you forever. You’re my best friend and I love you and I…I thought you-”

Kyle held the back of her neck and pulled her forehead against his. 

“It’s us. Just us. Always us. Yeah?” She nodded with him. He kissed her. Much more tenderly than she kissed him. She climbed onto the bed, careful of his injuries, and curled up to his side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

“Never stopped loving you,” He said as he kissed the top of her head. 

“Me either.”

It felt like a lie even if it wasn’t. Her first and only year at university. A boy that reminded her so much of Kyle until he didn’t. A boy that hurt her, violated her. She gritted her teeth. Her secret trapped behind porcelain. 

She waited till he fell asleep again before packing everything up and leaving. She left a note on the desk telling him to call her when he woke up and she’d come back with breakfast. She ended it “Love Nina.”

Can you tell this was originally supposed to be smut?

Another post hopefully going up soon after this.

Tag List: @queen-ilmaree @macravishedbymactavish @water-bearz @pvssytrux @vampire-matcha

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 83 of Underline the Black:

‘I don’t know Dr Gary all too well,’ Flitmouse said, ‘because he tends wall off anyone who wants to get to know him better. By comparison, Temsen is very friendly and even transparent. Augus is kind, at least to omegas, which is unusual for peak alphas. Dr Gary can come across as cold and aloof, but Anton pointed something out to me a long time ago, which is that if you want to get to know him better, you have to watch his actions, and not his expression, or even his words. ‘And his actions are that…he’s devoted his entire life to this centre. He will humble himself with apologies when he knows he’s wronged someone, which is rare for alphas, let alone peak alphas. He’ll listen to me or Anton lecture him about how he’s treated you, and he’ll change for you, or perhaps more accurately, reveal the instincts that he’d repressed. He wants to see you stronger and happier, doesn’t he? Can’t you see how his actions prove feeling, even where his words don’t?’ Efnisien stared at the floor for a long time. He thought about the way Gary paid attention to everything he ate, and how the things he didn’t like never appeared again, and the foods he did appeared with more regularity. He thought about the way Gary automatically knew which blankets were Efnisien’s favourites, and sometimes fetched them for him when he was having a bad night. Gary hungrily reached for him at times – even when they weren’t talking about something depressing, weren’t talking about anything at all – and kept hold of him for long periods of time. Efnisien was almost always the one who had to pull away first when Gary reached for him like that. Gary had yelled at Temsen for using alpha persuasion on Efnisien during his heat, even though it was fully deserved, because Efnisien had been trying to bite through Temsen’s bones. He’d been the one there by Efnisien’s bedside when he’d woken up sore or groggy. He respected that Efnisien might need other people to talk to, and he was…kind.

[libertys-lovers]

sunflower and dandelion for gary if you havent done them!

Oh sweet, thanks!

I did do Dandelion already though, but the gist was that I wanted her to keep focusing on her health!

Sunflower though? I mean, if we’re just hanging out at home, then anytime’s fine! But if we’re actually going out somewhere, then I definitely prefer going out in the morning. The weather’s nicer, it’s less busy out, it’s not as big of a deal if we stay out longer than we planned; it’s just objectively better!

Libby’s not really a morning person though, but she still tries to wake up on time for our dates! It’s actually kinda cute, seeing her be a bit groggy in the morning.

[viceroywrites]

reunions and opportunities - chapter seven

gary x fem!reader

both of you didn't get the ideal high school experience it would make sense that you both would be dreading the reunion.

little did you know how many doors would open after that.

ao3 version here - chapters on tumblr are slightly rewritten and restructured.

content warning: fic contains smut in later chapters. discussions of mental health including trauma and potential ptsd (aka gary is traumatized).

chapter seven

Being a henchman since the age of 15, you would think Gary would become accustomed to death. Sure, losing his best friend and partner in crime was a tough blow and changed who he was physically and emotionally but he’s seen so many henchmen he’s worked with and fought against be killed right before his eyes.

Despite committing to a life of villainy in order to help his boss-turned-friend, there was still a softness within Gary. Growing up reading comics and following the stories of heroes, Gary wanted to do good and protect those around him -  except his actual attempts to turn to the “good side” failed. Turns out, he can still do those things but more efficiently just within the confines of his henchman role. 

Since adopting the alter ego of Kano, it felt harder and harder to feel that he was doing any type of good. Gary’s nightmares felt like they became more and more vivid as he continued to add more dead bodies to what felt like a never ending list.

Tonight brought yet another nightmare.

Images of Wandering Spider pleading for his life, his body disintegrating as he clung to Gary’s legs to keep him from running away from the sight. Another body being flung to his feet by a shadowy figure that wears the Blue Morpho suit, the new victim’s face obscured by a cloth over their head. “Here’s your next victim, Kano. Remember, dead men can’t snitch!” The voice cackled menacingly, the sound of the Monarch’s voice clear in his head. Thin fingers pulled back the cloth, revealing your face.

“No, no, no!”

Gary’s booming voice echoed through your tiny New York apartment walls, waking you from your slumber. Startled from the sudden noise, you hastily rub the sleep out of your eyes, your instincts preparing you to defend yourself. However, your vision adjusts to see Gary trembling next to you, shaking his head back and forth, his forehead drenched in a cold sweat.

“Gary!” Your voice snaps him out of his torment, placing a hand on his back as he jolts up right from his position in bed. You sit silently yet patiently, your presence causing his muscles to relax as his heavy breaths fill in the silence.

Once his erratic breathing pattern calms down, you push the blankets off your body, adjusting to wrap your arms as much as you can around Gary’s bulky frame. “It was just a dream, you’re okay.” You feel his large hand rest atop of yours as he gives you a sympathetic look. 

“Crap, I’m sorry I woke you up! You have-” Gary’s words are hastily silenced as you place a finger against his lips, giving him a reassuring smile and shaking your head. “Dr. Mrs. gave me the morning off, said she would fill me in on the meeting later.” 

Gary relaxed at your reassurance and gave you a tired smile, “Sorry again.” You let out a soft yawn, stretching your arms above your head before wrapping them around your burly beau’s shoulders. “You wanna talk about it?” You query, an eyebrow raised with curiosity as to what could have Gary screaming and waking up in a cold sweat.

The henchman shook his head, pulling you closer to him and adjusting your positions so you sat between his thighs, squeezing you tightly from behind. “Mm, how about we just enjoy our day off together?” Gary rasped, his voice still deep and groggy as his five o clock shadow tickled the nape of your neck as he snuggled into your warmth, hoping to distract you with his affection.

Despite your lingering suspicion, you let the issue drop, already exhausted from last night’s revelations and being enticed by Gary’s promise of a day free of drama and full of spending quality time with your adorable dorky boyfriend. 

“Alright, let me get some caffeine in my system because I still have a ton of questions for you. I only got your origin story last night.” You remark with a grin, kicking off the covers and hopping out of bed. The brown-haired man breathed out a sigh of relief, almost hearing the disembodied voice of his best friend admonish him, “Dude, pull yourself together!”

—

“I still can’t believe that at age fifteen, you became a henchman.” You shake your head in disbelief before taking a sip of your coffee, just having finished breakfast and curled up on your couch with Gary’s burly arm around your waist. 

“I still can’t believe you prefer TNG over TOS,” Gary snorts before receiving a swift elbow to the ribs. 

“I won’t argue that no one can hold a candle to Leonard Nimoy and the Corbomite Maneuver is still my favorite episode but I much prefer Patrick Stewart as Picard and I can’t get over how campy the visuals look nowadays.” You defend.

“Hey, those visual effects were revolutionary at the time! Besides, I would argue Doctor Who’s visual effects aged much worse in comparison!” Gary let out a playful chuckle as his response was met with a decorative pillow to his face.

“Anyways, we’re getting off topic. So all you’ve done since then is be a henchman?” You question, wanting to know more about your new boyfriend’s life as a henchman. You only truly dipped your toes into the Guild as of the last few months working with Dr. Mrs. the Monarch.

“Well, there was a time where the Monarch was in jail and him and Dr. Mrs. broke up.” Gary chuckled at your surprised expression, “Oh yeah, it was bad - pretty much the whole Monarch crew went to work for Monstroso so I moved back in with my mom, did some podcasting and worked for the Atomic Comic Collection Connection.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, a bit embarrassed. 

“I’m assuming you rejoined after they got back together?” You questioned, not at all phased by the news he just shared. Gary continued on, “Well yeah but I ended up leaving again. It’s kind of a long story so I’m sure you don’t want to hear me keep rambling.” He chuckled nervously, reluctant to share the reason why he left the second time around.

“Well, we have all day… I know it sounds like I’m grilling you but I’m genuinely just curious. This Guild stuff is still kind of new to me since working for Wide Wale was a bit of a cushy job to say the least.” You reassure him, squeezing his hand.

“Alright…” Gary sighed, running a hand through his face, unable to say no to your eyes beaming up at him. “I guess I should start with telling you about 24… my best friend.” 

You listened intently, squeezing Gary's hand as you noticed his voice get shaky at the mention of 24. You had heard bits and pieces from Dr. Mrs. about how the Monarch used to have more henchmen but dwindled in numbers down to just 21 over the years. The more and more Gary opened up to you, the more you understood why he kept his henchman lifestyle a secret from you. It was ultimately to protect you from the same fate. 

“Basically, I was grieving the loss of my best friend, talking to his skull and hearing his voice like all the time and I had a bit of an infatuation with Dr. Mrs…” Your eyebrow quirked up at this new piece of information which Gary got nervous seeing your expression. 

You could see him starting to stammer to explain which you chuckled at and shrugged your shoulders, “Gary, it’s fine. I mean it’s in the past. Plus I’m not blind, Gary. She’s smoking hot… despite the unfortunate voice that starts to grow on you. Anyways, continue.”

“Pretty much, I needed a break from the Monarchs and the life of villainy.” Gary explained, “So I went to the other side so to speak. I worked for SPHINX for a bit before it got dismantled, lived on the Venture Compound for a few months, and even teamed up with Brock Samson.” 

The henchman glanced back over to you and saw your eyes look up at him in awe, his cheeks flushing at the words that came out of your mouth next, “You’re so cool, Gary.” 

He shook his head vigorously, “Oh no, I’m still just a nerd… just more jacked than I was before.” You pout at his denial and sighed, “I have to admit, I’m a bit jealous that you got to experience all these things. It sounds like you pretty much lived out a comic book fantasy.”

Gary’s head tilted as he looked down at you, pressing a reassuring kiss on your cheek, “I mean you pretty much are living the same life I am, working for the Guild and all. You’re even more in the know than I am.”

You shrugged, placing your coffee mug down and propping your feet up on the coffee table. “I guess, I’m just grateful I took this job under Sheila or else I’d still be a glorified babysitter for Sirena. I worked with Wide Wale for so long that he basically treated me like a second daughter and would have locked me away in Tophet Towers if he could.”

Curiosity got the better of Gary as he asked, “I’m still baffled by how you went from dating one of Wide Wale’s henchmen to me. I mean not to judge but I don’t think I have a lot in common with a New Jersey fuckboy.” 

You let out a snort of laughter at the comparison and shook your head, “Honestly, you don’t have anything in common and that’s honestly a good thing.” 

“I was a nerd pretty much all throughout high school. I blended into the background. So college was a huge change for me and I tried really hard to put myself out there more. Went through a social “glow-up” you could call it.” You chuckle before continuing your story, “I started going to more parties and we met there. Honestly, I wasn’t used to the attention I was getting so I guess it just felt nice even though it was just for my looks for the most part.” You explained before feeling Gary’s arms wrap around you tighter.

“Well, you’re perfect to me - a perfect beauty center with a coating made out of perfect smart candy.” You rolled your eyes at his compliment, a smile curling across your lips.

“You’ve totally used that line before, haven’t you?” 

“Yup.”

—

The rest of the day went without a hitch - you took Gary to your favorite comic book store in the city, you had lunch together, and you both headed back to the Monarch’s residence together as you had a meeting with Dr. Mrs. to discuss Guild business.

As you both entered the vestibule holding hands, the Monarch came out from his study, glancing back and forth between the two of you before a shit-eating grin spread across his face.

“Sweetie! Come down, our favorite henchman duo are here!” The Monarch chimes which causes Gary to groan.

“Oh my god, you guys are worse than my mom!” 

Dr. Mrs the Monarch descends down the staircase and it was a pleasant surprise to see her grinning with pride down at you and 21. You’re so used to seeing her stoic or aggravated during Guild Meetings with some light heartedness in between.

“Well, looks like you two had a good talk last night.” Sheila remarked with a smirk, joining her husband’s side as he joined in on the teasing, “You sure they just talked last night, pookums? Because 21 is beaming like he just got girly action.”

“Oh!” “My!” “God!”

Sheila’s deep laughter fills the room as you both look flustered, “Alright, I have to take your girlfriend away for a bit to catch up on today’s meeting, 21. Don’t miss her too much.” She beckons you to follow her into the kitchen.

You squeeze Gary’s hand one final time before following behind Dr. Mrs., leaving Gary and the Monarch alone.

“Alright, lover boy. We have our own catching up to do.” The Monarch remarked with a grin which filled Gary’s body back up with dread.

—

“So our next target is Red Death… but as you know, our main focus is getting rid of Wide Wale so I’m free to arch Venture once I raise my stupid EMA level.” The Monarch explained, having Gary’s self-created Blue Morpho’s Pyramid of Peril pulled up on his laptop.

“Which is why your new found relationship with [Your Name] could be of use to us, 21.” Gary’s eyebrows raised as your name is mentioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What are you talking about? There’s no way I can tell her about the Blue Morpho stuff, she literally works with your wife!” The Monarch sighs, shaking his head as he grabs 21’s shoulders.

“I’m not that stupid, 21! I want you to get dirt from her about Wide Wale - literally anything - schedules, bargaining tools, the works!” Gary shook his head, brushing the Monarch’s hand off his shoulder.

“No, no. It’s already bad enough she’s way more connected to this all than I had ever wanted but I’m not using her for reconnaissance! It’s already shitty enough that I have to keep this” Gary gestures to the Blue Morpho hideout before continuing, “a secret from her but I’m not dragging her into this any further! Besides, she’s already suspicious of me after I hid the henchman stuff from her.”

The Monarch’s length eyebrow raises as Gary stands firm in his decision. The Monarch’s philosophy before was that henchmen were a dime a dozen - expendable and their feelings didn’t matter as long as the Monarch got what he wanted. With 21 being his one and only right hand man, he couldn’t have that same philosophy.

There was also a part of him that was reluctant to admit that he sympathized with having to lie to his own wife about the Blue Morpho ordeal. 

“Alright fine… but this makes your job tomorrow ten times harder, 21.” The Monarch sighed, looking down at his henchman, “So don’t say I didn’t warn you. I need you to go to Tophet Towers tomorrow. Alone. Scope out the building, get a lay of the land, and place surveillance cameras so we can monitor Wide Wale.”

Gary let out a sigh of exasperation, “Alright, alright! I’ll do it!  The sooner we get this crap over with, the sooner I can actually enjoy the fact that I finally got  a girlfriend!” 

The Monarch grinned, “Good catch, by the way, 21. Looks like my charm has rubbed off on you.”

Gary groaned before glaring playfully up at the Monarch, “I can’t believe you said girly action in front of her.” 

The Monarch smirked, winking at him, “Would you have preferred I said you finally caked her in your sticky triumph?”

“I hate you so much.”

[laalaaisqueen]

Conor/Gary

Gary on days like this felt like he’d been drugged, unable to move properly as if he had been given muscle relaxers and unable to react to the noises in the kitchen.

Struggling to even look at his arm, to check if it was really his arm. Usually Skylar would check on him but she was at the cabin, miles and miles away from Conor’s apartment.

He strains to even kick his feet. This was stupid. He’s thinking normally so he’s not feeling like an infant at least.

Though can’t call for help either, the most he can do with his fingers is tightly grip the gray covers to chain himself to the planet.

Gary really wanted to get up and start the day, instead he looked like a lazy teenager wanting one more hour before getting up.

His pink eyes dart to the door as it opens.

“Hey, are you sick?” Conor’s monotone voice was traced with a pinch of concern.

He wishes he was just sick.

...Or might he be?

Gary tried to feel his forehead or at least around his circle television screen. But his hands still wouldn’t go where he wanted them to go. He couldn’t really shrug his shoulders either.

The silver Teletubby rests his hand on Gary’s head. Even more confused when he confirmed that the doctor wasn’t sick.

His eyes however, looked a bit odd.

As if Gary was split between this world and stuck in another.

He didn’t know if it was safe to physically move his boyfriend so instead he gripped his right hand.

Then used his other hand to push down on Gary’s chest.

This caused something to happen that baffled Gary.

He suddenly could move again.

“...Did you just shove my soul back into my body?” Okay that just sounds stupid.

“...I guess?”

“What time is it?” He slowly sits up careful to not move too fast.

“Breakfast is still on the table.” Conor pulls on Gary’s hand.

Gary plants his feet onto the floor and pushes off the bed.

“I don’t know how you did it, but thanks Con.” Unlike a certain scientist, he wasn’t going to spend hours trying to figure out how Conor did that.

“Well look who finally woke up.” Anne sounded groggy, strands of hair sticking up in random directions.

Gary slides into his seat. “You literally just woke up.”

“...Shut up.”

[skarlette1]

Close Shave

Lodestone was still groggy as she woke. The minty scent in the air was cool and soothing. The sensation of warm fingers on her skin was relaxing. The magnetic caress of a steel blade across her naked pubic mound made the superheroine moan with pleasure.

“That’s it, babydoll,” came the thick accent of Addy Sivv, like some gangster’s moll from a black and white movie. “This shavin’ cream will make a new woman out of ya. My love-muffin, Glue Gun Gary, mixed it up special just for you, little miss magnets! Every little hair of yours that I shave away also shaves away a piece of your mind. By the time your cootchie is nice and smooth, your brain will be open for any thoughts I wanna put in it.”

Lodestone opened her mouth to object, but the razor glided next to her pussy lips, shaving her words down to inarticulate moans of passion.

Addy Sivv giggled as the heroine’s eyes rolled back in her head. “I knew you’d like me takin’ care of ya. But after all this work gettin’ clean, a girl like me wants to get dirty!”

---

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