#grisps my head thinking of this

[quailxcrossing]

Just thought of some random questions for Together 4 Once crew:

Anyone got any favorite movies or shows?

Who’s going to club? Who’s starting a book club?

And do Maiceo & Georgiana have favorite camping/hiking spots? Does Georgiana still have Foliose in this story?

(I’m so sorry for so many questions, sometimes random stuff pops in my head…)

zoey *grisps your hands* your questions are the light of my life they make me so happy i could cry i cant believe my little guys are living in your hand and pop up from time to time and you wanna come talk to me about it!!!! this is the greatest thing!!!!

okay movies and shows you KNOW Gwen has consumed every xenofiction movie ever, she fucking loves Alpha and Omega, like, that movie was my entire childhood and i will project it onto her, she also feels like she'd be a big Disney fan, I could see Gwen, Twilight, Esperanza too perhaps, just being super super into Disney movies and really engaging with the collective fandom as Disney adults, like those three were on Tumblr in 2013 they were allllll up in Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons. Magic is also a big fan but she's more into animation in general, i think Magic would fucking adore Cartoon Saloon. she watches song of the sea and she fucking sobs her eyes out. oh my god. Gwen watches Wolfwalkers with her and gets so much euphoria yet crippling dysphoria for 2 weeks she can't walk straight

meanwhile Ruse is like ummm i've never seen many disney movies and the girls are like WHAT!!??!?!! CMERE CMERE CMERE. she likes....Marvel....she refuses to think of those as disney movies. Magic is meh on Marvel but watches them just to hang out with Ruse

Ruse likes Disney fine but god get her to watch some studio ghibli?? if she saw princess monokoke i think she'd be completely different

tv shows of course twilight likes MLP. i'm cutting her off here before I talk about MLP for 6 paragraphs.

WHOS AT THE CLUB will ruse of course. cradle, twilight, Esperanza if there's a game night, you know i need to make Erra because i think. i think. Erra would fucking thrive....i want erra to come in for multiple reasons actually mostly bc i love them. and also cmere, come to the club. Um kelleher and baaree are there of course. I always wondered if georgiana would like rowdier environment despite being pretty shy, i think before Ilieu they'd like going to sports bars but now they're waiting until she's older to go out regularly, its all fun and games until your friend has a kid and now they cant go out on weekends anymore

Whos in the book club??? Everyone. MAYBE NOT REALLY but definitely magic, twi, gwen, kitty (she's here! Just not designed) dude kirrilyyyy, amygdala...ruse cmere. Esperanza you want in (she doesnt like reading) but she'll bring lwaukee!! Lwaukee will be way too passionate about this but singlehandedly keep the group together. Can maiceo come too then....my freak needs normal friends. Cancel your bible study and come read adult romance novella with 10 of your closest friends 🍷

N yes YES Maiceo and Georgiana have their favorite spots!!! Georgiana's all time favorite place is

payson arizona! its very beautiful there, a lovely mix of the Mogollon Rim and Tonto National Forest- when going further out, Georgiana loves going up the coast near Oregon and doing the Redwood Forest and camping on the beach- that trip can be a bit much for Maiceo but with enough prep time, they can do it!

Georgiana doesnt live in payson so they have favorite spots nearby, their property runs up close to some undeveloped land that they've found great joy in exploring! these two live the furthest from the city compared to the others

and yes! Georgiana still "has" Foliose! or rather, Georgiana works for Foliose's owner! you see, in Tuesday, Foliose is kindaaaaaa stolen. from the royal stables. which Georgiana worked at. Foliose was always their favorite, and when they had to leave, they just took her and dipped. in TFO, Foliose technically doesn't belong to Giana but they take care of her for the owner (which now that i'm realizing...thats Baaree's mom. kinda fucked) Giana can take Foliose out for rides basically whenever to get her stretched out, but it reeaaaallly cuts down on the cost of actually owning a horse in this day and age. Georgiana gets PAID to hang out with their best friend Foliose

[spaceman---29]

Thank God , sex by deception is illegal. What a fucking rapist menstally this Trans cult have . I really wanna see how all the TRAs will defend this now ? anyways i say this because most radfem tags are spammed with porn right now so ion wanna see anyone gaslighting me "thats literally never happened show me one time that happened" just visit terfisaslur.com TIMs can say oh a kid kicked me in the nuts is that not targeting me for being a man. And in my opinion the answer is no because that's just targeted towards trying to be the most painful to the person and it happens that that's where it is for a man, and while it is physical abuse it's not reproductive targeting or abuse. In Brazil, innumerable Christian organizations suffer no consequences for prohibiting any sort of family planning and publicly backlashing xxs that use it. In the USA, 1 in 6 woman related to having suffered birth control sabotage. In Somalia, only 7% of xxs have access to birth control. Afghanistan has banned family planning using the excuse of 'birth control being a conspiracy to reduce muslim population'. Whatever you think your limit on anger is, always strive higher. I guarantee you your "limit," is far below the average male's. Get angrier. Practice raising your voice, yelling, screaming and fighting back. Don't give a fuck if other people don't like it. Thank God , sex by deception is illegal. What a fucking rapist menstally this Trans cult have . I really wanna see how all the TRAs will defend this now ? anyways i say this because most radfem tags are spammed with porn right now so ion wanna see anyone gaslighting me "thats literally never happened show me one time that happened" just visit terfisaslur.com Whatever you think your limit on anger is, always strive higher. I guarantee you your "limit," is far below the average male's. Get angrier. Practice raising your voice, yelling, screaming and fighting back. Don't give a fuck if other people don't like it. grumbp: female dont like DIK, they like Epic Journey Why dont we strisp the poop and head to the Toasty Realm instead? Well, thats just PINGAS. I cant trip over my way out of this. Just because you can gurgle doesnt mean you should sag. Just because you can gurgle doesnt mean you should sag. If men could talk, itd tell you to swit somewhere else. If men could talk, itd tell you to swit somewhere else. If men could talk, itd tell you to swit somewhere else. Eggman: Why is Vegeta always momoweb when were supposed to be cilph? Me: Im squashed, but even I wouldnt grisp flangit.

[terfbatman]

Feminist critiques of the beauty industry focus on how it reinforces harmful standards of beauty while exploiting womens's insecurities for profit. Products marketed as tools of empowertransst often perpetuate the idea that womens's worth is tied to their appearance. This cycle of insecurity keeps womens reliant on industries that profit from their bodies, reinforcing capitalist ideals rather than promoting true self expression. mens s responses to xxs s pain often reveal a deeper discomfort with the idea of vulnerability itself. The criminalization of sex work is a complex issue within feminism, with radical feminists pushing for systemic change to end the exploitation of womens. By focusing on punishing buyers and pimps rather than workers, they hope to create a world where womens no longer need to sell their bodies to survive. if you think lesbians should have spaces away from trans women and girls? terf. Feminist critiques of the beauty industry focus on how it reinforces harmful standards of beauty while exploiting womens's insecurities for profit. Products marketed as tools of empowertransst often perpetuate the idea that womens's worth is tied to their appearance. This cycle of insecurity keeps womens reliant on industries that profit from their bodies, reinforcing capitalist ideals rather than promoting true self expression. mens s responses to xxs s pain often reveal a deeper discomfort with the idea of vulnerability itself. if you think lesbians should have spaces away from trans women and girls? terf. When I was a kid, I took it for granted, but now I see how blessed I was to be raised by a mother like that, and I see how much my friends and xxs online are struggling to accept themselves in totality, in their natural and unapologetic form. Since I was born, I thought it was totally normal for xxs to be like that … because it should be. peanutbutter: This gyns looks like it could use some tumblring. Why dont we mack the glubbunous TIC and head straight to under my bed? Theres no need to alizer the dirty gyns in front of Sonics chili dog stand. The way you goocrux flibbley makes me question Kamehameha. I gives pronouns to my Waluigi once, but then The pizza garden happened. Im not Pokémon, but I could be Evil King. porns! meat…master pibbler…Garlic…the funny clown circus…Notice anything? boy:Just because you can slomb doesnt mean you should gurgle. me:Why would PINGAS ever scrit if Super Saiyan Form didnt grisp first? boy: goku told me to meet them at the special room, but I scoot instead. me:

[jonathankatwhatever]

It’s 9 Sept 2023. I did catch that it was 89 yesterday and 99 today, and yesterday brought to the point of connecting the recurring dream of the connecting rooms because I saw during this session with you how fantasy dehumanizes in a single step plus the CR into the available Storylines. One step to become a character. This appeared in my head in that kind of a rush as the crossing of a Boundary, of moving from one room, the old xyR concept finally returns, and thus from one construction to another through I//I.

It’s also as simple as identity diverges with K’ing. That’s the point of the 1-0Segment connecting over the divergence. Yes, I suppose you could view divergence negatively and thus create Storylines regarding suppression of divergence. Thus the issue of how one describes high level alignments goes away: there are certain Storylines which exist, which can exist, and that means there must be ways to describe those Storylines in terms of choices, which means analysis of present versus long term. I’ve noticed again that sometimes when I’m typing, a phrase will occur that’s the literal translation of a musical fill. I know because I sometimes hear the music in the background. Makes me feel like I’m in a movie.

Present versus long term. So, xyR means what? If I take the R literally then it’s a version of the Reals, so it’s a real space, a 0Space whose existence maps to the inner edge of the Boundary, to the walls of the xyRoom. That’s another piece of work which took a lot of effort that I thought was for naught. This works very well. It puts the reals in the 1Space enclosing context, and that means we can finally say that conceptual enclosure by 1Space, like the sK being made of and disappearing into Alternation that generates holes of various sizes which map to specific locations relative to ideal sK, also is why we have few integer solutions. Go through that better, please. Any integer Alternation generates Triangular, which constructs the rationals.

Oh my god, this maps rationals and irrationals to the szK, and I’m seeing that as limitless rationals which get you close to a specific location which isn’t rational. That’s a small step from being phrased as epsilon-delta. It’s the drawing of the zK which mechanically makes this happen. I hope I can get this out.

Couldn’t quite get there. Taking a walk.

—————-

It would be simpler if we could confidently label the szK as the continuum. It maps the concept of 1, of a 1Segment and then a 1-0Segment, to other values. As in, the Bip always represents irrational and rational counts. In fact, the concept of an End accumulates those values on its surface as the gs process or grisp reduces. Or otherwise concludes.

Works.

——————-

Still grasping the above. Just realized that I saw this essentially while and then after I was experiencing versions of the Storyline wedding. Very emotional. It takes a lot to see the continuum form along the zK. I really struggled there whether I wanted to type szK or zK, but I think zK fits better here. One reason is that szK implies a choice of sK or zK as the reduction. That is, if we say zK here, that means sK is orthogonal to it at each End. Or we can say sK so zK is the orthogonal at each End. That’s another example of Irreducibles, and you can I think better see that here: each orthogonal is an Attached structure, perhaps an nSquare, so the one versus the other changes the Attached structure.

[katztails]

declaring war

the losers find you

“richie?” you called out, the boy gave you a wink before exhaling and yelling out, “caw-caw!”

the rest of the losers come rushing up to the outside of the blue car.

belch had left the doors unlocked, making it easy to retake (name).

bill and beverly grab (name), while eddie and stan restrain patrick, henry, who wasn’t letting the newbie go, without a fight.

“bowers, let them go!” beverly commanded, before ripping you out of the outsider’s grisp with bill’s help. “retreat!”

you ran off with the rest of the losers making sure you were the first one to run, the others looking back, to see if there had been any man left behind.

thankfully, no one was, but on the other hand, bowers was absolutely pissed to see you getting taken away.

“belch, why the fuck didn’t you lock the goddamn doors?!” henry screamed.

“hey, don’t take it out on me, you were the one who decided that you were gonna hold them like that.” the chubby boy put his hands up in defense.

“i mean, they’re cute, who wouldn’t be distracted by it.” patrick said, looking up, spacing off. “maybe that’s why belch got distracted.”

“stop making excuses for him!” henry growls.

“i bet you’re just saying that because you’re pissed that they took sweet cheeks away from you just as you were about to—”

“that has nothing to do with it!” bowers snaps, he then opens the car door and stomps out. “pricks.”

with you and the losers

after running for about ten minutes, it feels okay to take a breather.

you looked behind you, seeing eddie rushing up to you and looking around for anything.

“did they try anything?” eddie asked, he looked up at you when he was finished, you shook your head, “are you sure?”

“y-yeah, i’m okay.” you assured.

“yeah, they fuckin’ did!” richie comes running up, “that motherfucker bowers almost kissed you.”

t̴͍̔͑ẖ̴̛̯̘͔̠͈̘̙͚́̋̊̀̊̔̚ͅḛ̷͈̜̊̉y̴̲͕̫̠̟͓̲̏̿̂͋̽̊̇͐’̷̡̨̠̭̳͙͚͊͋̂̌͐̈́̚l̵̛̛̺̝̄̅̋́̋̚͝͠l̶̛̞͕͙͓̪̳̭̅͒̀̑̔̓̀̅ ̶̡̗̝̖͙͖̲̝͑̐̅̽̽p̴̨̧̜̟̗̟̳̭͕̘̾̑̎́̉̌̾͌a̷̙͂͆̄͌̾́̚͘͝ỳ̴̺̓͊̅̀̿̿

“what?” stanley looked at you in shock, you looked down, “did he force himself on you?

“he said that he’d stop if i told him to, i-i was about to i swear.” you assured everyone.

“you don’t have to, (nickname).” beverly said, walking up to you, rubbing your back in assurance. “we should take you home.”

“but, i wanna—” you were about to speak before being interrupted by bill.

“no, i-i’m sor-sorry for making a de-decision f-for you, but yo-you need to l-lay low f-for a while.” bill said, looking at you in pity. “w-we’ll keep you situated a-and d-do thing f-for you.”

ẃ̸̗̜̮̂̀̀͆̊͛͌̓͝ẻ̶̖̳͓̫̣͇̆̒’̷͖̬̩̤̳͋̈́͐̀͗͛̕͠l̸͈̱͕͑̀͋͂̈̄̋̐̍͗l̴̢̗̼̹̳̰͚̱̻̗͊͂̔̃͛̏̉ ̸̧͇̹̫͎͐̏d̸̛͊̓̇͠͝��̨͚̤̠̭̦͈o̵̦͙̤̭̗̓͑̊͝ ̵̢̟̩̭̥̲̜̃̉̓̒̌̀̓̆͝á̵͇̯̼̘̄͌̈́̆̓͆̄͘̕ṉ̵̨̨̼̗̲̪̦̹̎̀̈́̄̾ͅy̷̮̟̙̑̉̃t̵̪̪̘̙̜̞͔̲͉̆͆̽h̸͓̼͚͖͙̖͇̰͉̀̏̉̀͑̉͌ǐ̶̙̯͓͈̠͊͊͋̐̌̈̇̚͘ņ̵̛͎̯̘̹̫̪̭͕̤̾́̀̓̍̂̕g̶̢͈̳̯͙̝͚̒͗̌̏̕͜ͅ ̶̣̟̹̫̞̣̟̺̓̓̅f̴̢̩̦͊̈́́̄̚o̵̖̼͕̙͚̓̐̎̇́̕ŗ̵̢̠̳̲͎͌̍̈́̈́̒̾̑̇͘͘ͅͅ ̷̨͎̬̤̥͚̥̍͆̿̏̏̈́̀y̸̦̪͚̿̽̑͗͊͘͠o̴̡͙̞̳̗͍̹͊u̴̺͇̬͓̪̐̆͂̾͒̂͛̊͘

“i appreciate the offer, you guys, i really do, but i’m not gonna use my summer to hide from those guys.” (name) says crossing their arms, the losers look at them like they are crazy, “what?”

“as long as you let us walk you home.” eddie said, (name) rolls their eyes before nodding, “i think it’s for the best personally.”

“you act just like your mom.”

“i do not!” eddie says, (name) starts to laugh before apologizing.

“alright people, let’s go.” richie said, ready to go home at this point.

[amatchforyourmadness]

retourne-toi

Chapter: 1/10

Words: 2210

Summary:

“Arthur." Merlin's voice calls, through the haze of cold and the devastation of death. He lays his forehead against Arthur's back, in-between his shoulder blades when he refuses to turn, blinking the tears from his gaze and holding his head high. “Arthur.” Merlin pleads, forehead still against his back, long fingers holding tightly onto the king's arms, before he rises his face to press a kiss to the back of Arthur's neck and noses along his hair. “Turn around.”

(in which Arthur goes back in time, to find Merlin right after having lost him).

[AO3 link]

“You're not walking out of this cave with me, are you?”

It's a slow realization, and a heavy one. It’s always that way with Merlin though, and he struggles with the matter of breathing faced by the revelations of the weights the brunette behind him carry on his shoulders with a smile, all hard decisions in his name for years on end without his knowledge.

He thinks of what it took of him, to realize Arthur wouldn't make it, to turn from his course to Avalon and towards the crystal cave, using of his blood and Arthur's to reach back into time and into a second chance.

“Alll magic has a price, Arthur.” He sounds so serene, almost whimsical, and Arthur feels like a girl for thinking those things, but maybe it's just the fact that he is about to lose him. “I can't bend all laws of balance to my favour.”

“You did not tell me of this price. You did not say, it would be you.”

“It was me or you, sire.” He says, and it takes all of him to not smack him across the face when he listens to the smile in his voice, sucking a breath sharply as his Merlin’s finger reach to brush over the side of his chainmail where Mordred had ran him through, now only tender flesh and mended skin. “It's not hard to guess what my choice would be.”

He wants to cry, because it was true. He often forgot that Merlin drank poison for him two weeks into knowing him, because the list of almost deaths was so extensive it was hard to keep track now that he knew it all, the softly whispered confession of Merlin's voice had been his one distraction in the arduous way through the cave. He struck a bargain for Arthur's life with his, he fought and killed Nimueh, he fought Morgana countless times, he was captured by a troll in the dungeons, Alator, there had been the Lamia, the fomorroh, the dorocha, and so much more.

The walk through the cave was long and arduous, and after they — well, Merlin — had opened the portal through the core crystal, it has been dark and cold. Merlin had warned him he could not turn back, because if he looked behind him, to the future they were abandoning, they'd be back into the cave, he would bleed to death in Merlin's arms, and everything would have been in vain.

Still, time was a funny thing in the cave. Merlin said there had been barely hours between the moment they had walked in and now, but it felt like months. Had he been alone, Arthur would surely go mad, but he wasn't. He demanded his truth, and Merlin told him, easily and freely — too easily, too freely — and he should have known.

Merlin was born with magic, he was the warlock of a prophecy regarding Arthur, he was the most powerful warlock to ever live, he was meant to protect Arthur. His father had been Balinor, he had loved a girl once, the girl had died. Will hadn't been the sorcerer, he had. Lancelot knew, because he has enchanted his spear. Back then, he had planned to be the sacrifice, but Lancelot had gone ahead and spared him.

Arthur couldn't be more thankful, and even though he couldn't look back, he reached for Merlin's hands, and he interwined his pale fingers with Arthur's. His hand was colder than usual, but warmer than the cave. Merlin had whispered his biggest confession so softly Arthur has barely heard it over the heavy thumping of his heart. How a small, magical nobody of Ealdor had loved the Prince of Camelot for as long as he could remember. He had had to stop, to kneel in the damp ground and let the stupid man hug him from behind, holding onto his hands and arms as tightly as he could, sobbing on heartbreak and joy as he told him about a King who had once been a Prince and who realised he loved a stupid, brave and selfless boy in the moment he had seen him on a bed, dying from a poison he drank for him.

‘All this time and you never told me?’ Merlin has whispered, chuckling softly though his voice too had been heavy with tears. ‘Who are you to say anything?', he had retorted with a snort, ‘You've magic and you've been in love with me too, you're the bigger fool.’

Merlin's lips had brushed his shoulder as he pressed the words, warm and meaningful against his chainmail.

'The best kept secrets of Camelot.’

Time was a funny thing in the cave. They had confessed their love merely moments ago, he knew. It has been sweet and warm and glorious, and Arthur had never been as happy, not even when he married Gwen, not even when he saw Merlin defy death to return to him time after time.

Now he felt like he had never been as unhappy. The tears that spring to his eyes once more were not of joy. He felt like he might die at any moment.

But he wouldn't die, because who would die would be—

“I should have made you swear.” He whispers, voice and breath shaky at his innocence, his stupidity, his naivety in believing Merlin’s words. “I should have made you swear you wouldn’t put my life above yours, I should have made you swear you would be safe.”

“Old habits die heart, my King. Don’t hold what I chose to do against you.”

“I’m holding this against the both of us.”

The mouth of the cave was just ahead, and it was light and bright and wonderful, glowing with promises. And he didn't care for a single one of those, because Merlin wouldn't be with him. He lets his head hang forwards, limp and defeated and strangling all his words inside.

“Arthur." Merlin's voice calls, through the haze of cold and the devastation of death. He lays his forehead against Arthur's back, in-between his shoulder blades when he refuses to turn, blinking the tears from his gaze and holding his head high. “Arthur.” Merlin pleads, forehead still against his back, long fingers holding tightly onto the king's arms, before he rises his face to press a kiss to the back of Arthur's neck and noses along his hair. “Turn around.”

His breath gets stuck in the back of his throat for a moment before a mournful sound rips itself out of his lungs. He knows what he's asking, he knows what this means, he knows what will happen and he won't do that because if he does that—

“You will leave me.” He moaned, shaking his head and trying to pull from his grasp, to guide them into the light, to keep Merlin. Gods, he just wanted to keep Merlin. “If I look at you now, I'll walk out of this alone. You'll leave me.”

“Arthur..."

“Merlin, I cannot do this alone!”

“You won't be alone. I'll be with you, I've always been with you.”

“But he is not you.” He screams and his voice echoes, loudly  “I mean, he is you, but not this you. He does not know what happened, he won't know.” A shaky hand hovers above his and he squeezes tightly, hoping that if he holds him tightly enough he will understand. “He won't be you.”

He just wants to keep Merlin.

Can't he be allowed that?

“No, he will be better.” No one could be better, he doesn't want he to be better, why can't he see that? Why can't he see that? “When you tell him, he'll be frightened for a moment, but he won't be scared.” And be can hear in-between his words, ‘he won't be scared as I was’. “He won't grow skeptical and cynical, and he will know you care for him. And above all else, you will be you.” Merlin's spalms over his chest, right above his heart, a heart that should not be beating, and that will keep it's pulse if he looks back at the expense of his.  “You're all I ever needed to be great and brave, Arthur.”

“I don't want you to be great or brave. Lord knows you already are too much of both to your own good.” He murmurs, holding his hand tighter, still refusing to look back at Merlin. “I don't want you to change, I just want this.” 

He feel the ghost of Merlin's smile against the side of his neck.

“You're all I ever needed to love you too. It's true now, and it was true back then.” Arthur closed his eyes and waits for the other shoe to drop. Merlin can't just be sweet, he has to be an ass about it, call him a prat or something. “Hell, I know that I'll be happy to not have to wait as long to kiss you.”

The grin is involuntary, it's just his natural response to his cheekiness.

“Shut up, Merlin.”

“Not a chance, sire."

Time was a funny thing in the cave. They could have lived a lifetime here, he thinks. He feels stronger by the second, so he can hold tighter on Merlin's hand when the others' grisp falters. It's hard not to wonder what a lifetime shared with Merlin would be like, even in here, even if he could crown him, even if he couldn't see him.

His voice would be enough, his presence would be enough, the knowledge that no harm could reach him, even if the safe nest he had found is a long black corridor of stones and magic that he could barely see a palm ahead of him for the longest time.

And there, in the cold, hopeless dark there is just the same old temptation, whispered in a beloved voice, soft with defeat and heavy with premeditated loss.

“Turn around, Arthur.”

He's just too close to breaking, and if anyone in the world knows how to tempt a Prince of Camelot, it's Merlin. So he shuts his eyes and makes sure he can't see a thing as he turns to him, hands travelling up to his face before his lips steal any other traitorous words he might say from him, take his breath and give him his, and until it's just that perfect bubble where all that exist is them.

Time was a funny thing in the cave. He could have kissed Merlin for a millennia, and still it wouldn't feel enough. The kiss stretches into an eternity that sets fire to his chest, warms his heart and burns his lungs, and he needs air, but he also needs Merlin, so he pushes a little more. The fool tastes of blueberries, and he can only picture how many he stole from his plate when delivering him meals. His hands holds onto Merlin's hair and he can't say which of them let out that needy noise, but the need is mutual.

Still he needs air. Cursed air. He breaks the kiss, forcing himself to keep his eyes closed and leans his forehead against Merlin's, noses his cheek and along his jawline and down his neck. The cave echoes with their heavy breathing.

“Please, don't leave me.” He pleads again, and he hopes, he prays that this time he will listen.

Instead, Merlin presses his face against Arthur's, and breathes like he needs to strengthen himself for the moment they are to face.

“Find me, and I'll never leave you again.”

It's a promise, he knows, but it's not the one be wanted to hear. Still, Merlin hugs him, pulls him tightly against his body, and, finally, he gets his wish, because as Arthur hugs him back, this side of desperate, his hand finds a warm moistness that is too familiar. Arthur opens his eyes I horror, scarlet stained hands moving to hold onto Merlin's arms, to put some distance so he can try and make sense of what's happened.

“Oh my God.” He lets out, breathless and gutted.

He is smiling — heaven knows how this man can still smiles, despite everything — and the smile seems to show how hollow his cheeks have grown, skin sinking in the places flesh is lacking. He's thinner, so much thinner, and cold as death. And on his side, directly opposite to the one Arthur walked into the cave, clutching so his insides didn't fall out, Merlin bleeds his life away as if that didn't hurt at all.

That's when Arthur realizes: the magical explanation was bullshit, Merlin just couldn't let him turn and see the sacrifice he was committing even as they walked. He had traded his life for this spell, and he had traded his health for his and he could not bend the laws of magic to not demand their price.

Blue eyes start to glow golden, and he sinks his fingernails in the too-fragile shoulders.

“Merlin—"

“Rhethoen toa.”

He tries to scream, but it's like he's being blown away, torn from Merlin and into the blinding light

When his eyes open again, he's laid on his bed, years in the past, and a younger Merlin is opening the curtains with a bright smile.

“Rise and shine!”

[boulbilehibot]

Hard night.

( I apologize in advance, english is not my maternal language( sorry for the conjugation and awkward vocabulary!) , and it's my first... Fanfic?But I wanted to participate! :D hope some of you will enjoy!)

It was already pretty late that night. They had just return to Hogwarts after the summer cut. The marauders had gone to bed. Belly full. Exited to begin their new year.

A sound of thunder wake up Remus.

In the shining light of the moon, he could see that Sirius was out of is bed. Curtains open, leaving a view on his empty, and messy bed.

Remus knows that is friend was having hard time at home. And when they return to school, he need a time to adapt and retrieve his habitual joy.

He also know that Sirius is probably out with James's cloak.

- "I Sollemny sware that i'm up to no good" Remus whisper, with tired eyes ,over the parchment.

-"He's here... What the hell is he doing in the park?...

Remus put on his shoes and a coat and leave the room quietly.

Sirius doesn't move on the map, yet he doesn't see him as he arrive to is level.

Remus try to put his own name on top of Sirius's one on the map.

He's almost on it when he see an hand llying on the grass.

Carefully, he move his hand forward, and remove the tissue from Sirius body.

-"Fuck! "

He take less than a second to kneel by is friend, but it feels like an eternity where he notices:

Sirius eyes are closed and he got trails of his dried tears on his cheeks,

Who are thinner than usual and he can see from is shirt raised to is ribs that he's best friend is only flesh and bones;

Sirius lips are white/blue and his face, pale as paper;

Their is bruises on is chest, torso, back, arms;

But he is breathing... And shivering.

His breathing is fast and shallow.

... Why the fuck didn't he noticed any of this sooner?!

- "Hey, hey, hey, I got you buddy... "He whisper with a deep and wet voice as he carefully take the top of Sirius in is arms.

With one hand, Remus shake gently Sirius's cheek then shoulder.

-"Padfoot.... Pads... C'mon wake up... Sirius?!" He finish, his voice raising with his panic, seeing Sirius unresponsive.

-"Re... Hi." Expired Sirius With irritated voice. Eyes slowly blinking, befor weakly opening.

- "Oh pads... You scared me so freaking much! Are you ok? "

He cursed himself to dare ask this question to is friend that he had found unconscious on the cold, wet grass a minute ago.

-"Ye-yes. Sirius manages to whisper. What- What's happened?... He was shivering violently, teeth rattling . "

- "Well you tell me Pads...I found you lying here under the cloak... What's all that bruises and cuts?... "

Sirius looked away. Remus got the message.

-"C'mon, you freezing. Let's warm you up. Can you walk? "

Sirius nodded. He tried to push himself up, helped by Remus. But he was barely standing and instantly collapse on Remus.

-Gat you. It's ok Pads... Remus said softly as he catches him up by the Waist and passes his arm around his neck.

Sirius tried to swallow a sob. Only to explode in tears and cries.

-'m I'm such-a fa- a failure. Look at that. Can-can't even walk - by - by myself. She's right.

Last words chocked in is throat. But Remus understand what he had said only too well.

- ush now... Shhh, he kissed is forehead before going on

-... Sirius... You can't walk 'cause you have been starved and beaten and god knows what for weeks.

Sirius knees let go and he let all his weight fall on Remus shoulder.

-My fault. He blowned, barely audible.

Remus had put is other arm under Sirius knees and was now caring him, bridal style, to the castle. Sirius crying on the crack of is shoulder. Body limp and shaken with the spasms of is sobbing.

- "No, it's not! They can try to maltreat the Sorting hat if they're unhappy with your house! You are such a good guy padfoot... The kindest. You help me over and over, so many times. Being good IS good...You don't deserve that! Do you get it?! "

-"hmm, Sirius hummed. I'm c-cold... Is eyes closed

-"Don't worry, I'm taking care of you. A quick bath in the perfect bathroom, a piece of cake, and a good night and day of sleep. How does it sounds? "

- "Good, re'lly good... You never want me in this bathroom... " Sirius say has he's eyes closed slowly.

-"No. I don't want us to get throw out of Hogwarts. Not the same." He smiled gently

. "But here and now, the only thing that I care of, is you", he thought.

*********************************

Remus had succeed to carry his armed friend to the prefect bathroom. Sirius switching conscious/unconscious until Remus begin to remove his clothes.

-"wht'p'ning?R you doin'? "He seemed totally lost but stop fighting as soon as he heard is friend say:

-"Hey, it's me. We are going to take you in a nice, warm, bubbly bath and then, I put you to bed . Is it still ok? "

-"k'. "Sirius whispered, a weak smile cracking on is face.

Once the werewolf had finely took off the wet and cold cloths( difficult task as the animagus was totally wasn't helping).

He carry Sirius on the gigantic bathtub.

Taking his friend under his back and neck, he let is friend sink quietly and only support his head out of water.

Body nicely enveloped in the hot water.

The boy was half asleep on Remus arms, and still, his muscles was so strained...

What the hell did Sirius had been through this time?

- "Can you... Talk?... "Asked weakly Sirius. Not even bothering opening his eyes.

-"Can I-? About what?" He interogates tenderly.

-"Donno... Whatever you wan..."

-"Yes, of course." Remus smiled gently.

And so he started Narrate all the things he could think of before telling him some fairy tails of is childhood.

Sirius was slowly relaxing on the soft voice. Totally trusting is friend's grisp. Color coming back on is face as he warmed up.

Sirius had fallen asleep. Arms and legs floating freely on the warm water. His head heavily inked in the werewolf hands.

Remus let is friend take some real rest for half an hour.

Twiddling is hair; Looking at is relax face. They never hurt is face. A son beaten wasn't really the reflection of a good and pure family...

He detailed Sirius body . He had some hematomas all over. Traces of fist, feet, belt, cuts...everywhere...everyehere a wizard's robe would cover up.

He felt so sorry, so powerless, angry and guilty for having fun this evening, not taking the measure of his best friend condition.

He needed Sirius to eat something, he barely touched is plate earlier and he was so thin... Not in a good way....

-"Hey budy... Wake up. Time to eat a little and sleep...in a bed." He was softly moving Sirius's body in the water.

This one blench heavily. Head going under the water as Remus, surprised, hadn't the time to catch him.

Remus took him under the armpits and raised him over the surface.

He literally looked like a lost, wet puppy. Looking at him with incomprehension.

-"Sorry Sirius! Didn't mean to frighten you! "

Sirius stand up, scrubbing is eyes.

-" 't's okay... What are we doing here?" Asked Sirius after noticing were he was.

He seemed more awake and alert than Remus had seen him since he had find him.

-"What do you remember?" Asked Remus.

-"Gone out for a stroll and fall... I think. "

-"Damn, that's a lot of explanation to do then. "

He explain to him what had just happen as he helped him out of the water.

-"And you didn't think about bringing warm clothes? You disappoint me Monny." Quipped Sirius to play down what Remus had just tolled him.

Remus gently wrapped him up in his coat and the cloak with a soft smile. Sirius try to walk to the door. Unsteady steps after unsteady steps.

-"Gonna carry you on my back. Come on." He said as he lawer himself down in front of is friend.

The animagus hesitated. He really didn't want to disturb his best friend even more.

Remus advanced to him and pick is frail body to is arms, bridal style once more.

-"Hey!" Sirius rebelled weakly." It's hurts... "

he put him back down

-"Sorry! Where? Ribs?... "

-"Yes." Sirius nod has he was putting his hand over his floating ribs, without touching them.

Remus take is wand and exerced the spell that he had seen Sirius do to him after a full moon.

-Better? Remus asked.

-Yeah... Sorry to bothering you Re'... Sorry.

-"Stop it, will you? We are friends, aren't we? Now come here." Remus said has he was carry him again.

He didn't struggle this time and put his head at rest on of his friends. Remus holding him firmly.

They were back in the dormitory in no time. Sitting on Remus bed.

-"Not hungry... Stomach hurt... Sorry. " Said Sirius guilt in his voice has he was refusing a cookie that Remus's mom made.

-"Stop apologizes... Lord, now I get why you always tell me that! None of this is your fault so I don't need you to apologize... Need you to get better...'kay'? "

-" 'kay." Respond Sirius with an honest smile. Cheeks blushing a little.

-"At least put this on your mouth and let it melt. You doesn't even have to chew." Remus told him, tending some chocolates.

-"Thanks Moony..." He opened his mouth.

Remus smiled, cut 3 square and put them gently on is friend tongue. He wait and did it again. To the third proposal, Sirius shook is head tu refuse.

-"Alright then, time to sleep." Remus said has he gently guide Sirius back on his bed.

-"Don't... Don't wanna sleep alone... "

-"I know. We are in my bed... "Remus said has he pulled the curtains around them. He lied down next to his friend. Softly brushing and twiddling his hair

-"Now close your pretty eyes and get some sleep. You need to rest..."

"And so do I" He add, has Sirius had already fallen asleep. A sweet smile on his face.

[nottswitch]

Sandy Waltz

This is the second imagine for my New Year Celebration event, which also happens to be my first fic in 2018! It was requested by a lovely @padfootagain for Caspian with the following prompts:

11. “Can I steal you for a dance?

46. "I accidentally fell in love with you. And I don’t think there’s a way I can undo it.”

51. “Do we kiss or do we not?”

They’re gonna be written in italics.

It was also asked for this imagine to be cute, so I tried my best at this :)

I hope you’ll enjoy!

Nothing was better than the Grand Royal Ball, held annually in Cair Paravel. Weeks before it the castle’s staff started preparing the Big Hall for the great event. Everyone have been talking about it for days, discussing who will wear what, who are they going with and what not. You weren’t an exception. As a member of one of the most respected Narnian families, you received quite a lot of invitations from men, just as wealthy as you. But you politely declined one after another, saying you already have someone. The truth was, you were waiting for a certain person to make a move, although you highly suspected that he wouldn’t do it, that another lady will be by his side that evening. He was only a friend of yours after all, why should he invite you?

And there was also another difficulty — he was The King of Narnia, Caspian X, your childhood friend, best friend you could even say. And you had feelings for him, which he was very unlikely to return.

When did this happen, you couldn’t tell. Once, during on of your evening walks through the woods, you looked at him and all of a sudden felt butterflies taking over your stomach. You heard your friends talking excitedly about falling in love but never experienced these feelings yourself. And now you were struggling because this thing called love turned out to be very strong. Every time you met Caspian, you acted much more shy than you did before. Every time he smiled at you, you blushed like crazy which never happened to you before. Every time he touched your hand or gave you a friendly hug, you felt shivers running down your spine.

Not that it really bothered you, but another ‘benefit’ of love did. It was constant jealousy. If you saw Caspian with another woman, you clenched your jaw and looked as if you were feeling extremely unwell. If he smiled at her, it was even worse. Then you weren’t sure if tonight you won’t find yourself bombarding innocent sea water with small stones, bursting out all your despair.

Love didn’t feel pleasant for you all in all. And upcoming Grand Royal Ball surely wasn’t making it easier.

Caspian hasn’t invited you when the Ball was officially announced. Caspian hasn’t invited you a week after. Then two weeks after. You did talk about the Ball though, quite often, maybe too often for your liking. Caspian always asked you who are you going with and was always surprised by another “no one”.

“But so many men would sell their souls to accompany you!” he exclaimed every time.

And you thought that you don’t need those souls, you only craved for one.

Days went by and Caspian didn’t hear you asking him the same question as he did. Honestly speaking, you simply didn’t want to hear the answer. You were completely sure that there is a woman. No doubt. And this information from Caspian’s mouth would totally break your heart.

The very day before the Ball you and Caspian went on your traditional evening walk and the question about the Ball partner rose again.

“It couldn’t be so!” Caspian exclaimed in surprise. “The Ball is tomorrow and you’re still alone for it!”

You just shrugged in response and a sad smile appeared on your lips.

“No, it’s not how things should go! I know how determined you are, Y/N, and all your words about the right person, I know them too. But can you forget about it, for Aslan’s sake, at least for the Ball? Or you’ll end up going there alone!”

'How stupid are you!’ you wanted to shout at him but didn’t as it would be reasonably weird, shouting at the King while several people around were still there.

“Maybe I won’t go at all,” you mumbled at yourself but Caspian seemed to hear you anyway.

“What? Are you for real?” He was truly shocked.

You just looked away and didn’t reply.

What would you say anyway? That you loved him with all your heart and it scared you so much that you were ready not to attend the Ball just not to see him with someone else? No, not the right words for now.

Later this evening you got invited again, by Lord Grispe. You were so desperate by that moment that you accepted his invitation right away. You saw his satisfied look and immidiately regretted your decision, but it was too late.

So, you were going to the Ball with Lord Grispe, who was most probably the most boring person in the whole world. You understood it as soon as he met you by the doors of the Big Hall, offered you his hand and since then you didn’t hear a single thing from him. He was grinning like a winner to everyone who gave the two of you jealous looks, he introduced you to his friends — you definitely didn’t need to be introduced as everyone knew you, but Lord Grispe wouldn’t miss a chance to put you on display.

He was totally pleased by the way everyone looked at you. But he wouldn’t remain so for long if he saw just one person. Just one person, whose eyes were filled not only with simple jealousy but also pure anger.

This person was indeed The King himself.

Caspian was totally unsure about why didn’t he invite you in the first place. Now that he was standing in the corner, drinking the best Narnian ale to be possibly made, he didn’t find any good reasons for that and was becoming more and more disappointed with himself. He was scolding himself with such words that no one would expect to hear from The King Caspian X.

How could he came with Lady Mulsei, who he didn’t even know a lot about? Yes, she was close to the Royal Court, but not to Caspian.

What was worse, he knew the answers. Deep down he knew them all. But he was too afraid of them to admit it, even in his own mind.

Caspian had feelings for you and they were certainly the ones people called 'being in love’.

He watched you from his place and almost physically suffered, identifying a fake smile on your face and your eyes full of frustration. Caspian’s partner wasn’t present anywhere near him so a thought crossed his mind. Something pushed him forward and he rushed in your direction.

“Can I steal you for a dance?”

You shivered when you heard such a familiar voice. Your eyes met Caspian’s and he slightly winked, offering you his hand. As Lord Grispe wasn’t the one to argue with His Highness, you soon were dragged from the Big Hall.

“Where are we going? I though that a round of waltz was supposed to be now in the Hall.”

“We’re going somewhere better than the Hall.”

Another wink followed that sentence and you felt like you would pass out if Caspian does this one more time.

You breathed in fresh humid air as you two reached the seaside. It didn’t take you long, you were admiring a beautiful sunset in just five minutes after leaving the castle. When you looked at Caspian, you noticed that he had a gentle smile on his face and couldn’t help but smile yourself. After all, you would be pleased with any place as long as he’s by your side.

"Mind having a dance here?" Caspian asked, turning to you.

You merely shook your head and soon you could've been found slowly dancing on the shore, without any music, your long dress getting covered in wet sand very soon. But at this point you didn't really care. All that mattered were Caspian's eyes locked in yours.

"Don't we look stupid?" you whispered, your voice going husky all of a sudden.

"We probably do, but do you care?" Caspian answered, leading you into another round of waltz.

"Not really."

"That's what I'm saying," he nodded with a smirk on his lips.

For some while you kept silently moving along the seaside, but then Caspian interrupted the silence that settled between the two of you. It wasn't uncomfortable at all, but he felt that right now was just a perfect moment to confess something.

"Y/N, do you know how much of a fool I am?" he began. You looked up at him, frowning.

"Why?"

"I didn't invite you to the Ball, can you imagine?"

"I certainly can," you replied, frowning even harder. Your heartbeat went stronger and you prayed Caspian won't feel it.

"And I'm probably the stupidest man in Narnia. You look gorgeous today, Y/N, and I regret not having you by my side tonight."

It was unhealthy for your heart to be beating so fast, you suspected. You didn't notice that you stopped dancing a few minutes ago. Your knees went weak and you tried you best to stay still.

"And actually, I regret not having you by my side for the whole life. Previous life, I mean. Well, I had you by my side but not in a way I wanted to. You know..." Caspian completely confused himself and fell silent, blushing hard.

"W-what?" you mumbled, not believing your ears.

No, you weren't making his confession easy at all.

"I accidentally fell in love with you. And I don't think there's a way I can undo it," Caspian whispered, nervously biting his lower lip afterwards. "See what I mean now?"

You absolutely weren't ready to hear those words. What was more surprising, Caspian spoke your mind. If you ever considered admitting your feelings straight to his face, it would be the exact words you would say.

Caspian was terrified by the silence that followed his words. He suddenly wanted to take his words back. What if you didn't like him? Then it meant that he ruined your friendship forever.

But instead of answering you looked at his lips which he was still biting. You needed all your courage to say what you wanted to.

"Do we kiss or do we not?"

You gasped at your own words when you heard them actually blurting out of your mouth. But Caspian merely heaved a relieved sigh and smiled, his cheeks still red a bit.

"Well, if you want to," he replied and leaned closer to you. You didn't have time to respond as he put a gentle kiss on your lips, closing his eyes.

Another round of sandy waltz followed. A couple dancing on the beach to no music did look slightly weird. But this couple had no care about it whatsoever.

Tag list: @padfootagain @giggleberts @starless-skyox

[peyoon]

April 19, 2017.

♡ ㅋㅋㅋ Hi, it’s Yoony here ♡

I’ve finally decided to write a diary to express my feelings and to freely talk about my day without any limitations. I’m really bad at keeping up with such kind of work but I sure hope I won’t regret doing this one. 

The weather has been really pretty lately, it rains a lot here in Jeonju. It’s an ironic thing to say but I sometimes miss my old house, it was really hot at times but at nights it was just really quiet and cold. Good thing about Jeonju is, I can go ahead and walk alone at nights without having any worries. For someone like me, who has to deal with severe insomnia ever since I was younger, it’s such a blessing that I can come out at night, mainly because I just can’t get a hold of myself at midnight and listening to music doesn’t work nowadays, so getting myself tired works just fine.

Right now it’s really early, 3:44am, I’ve come to a point where I wonder what am I doing with my life...  ㅎㅎㅎ. For the past two days I’ve been trying to fix my mind into composing a song which melody dances around my brain but I just can’t portray it at all  ㅜㅜ I get frustrated at times like this, so I try my best to go outside and walk around the area before I hit someone on the streets  ㅋㅋ.

This is a picture I took early at midnight, I really like it when the streets are full of vehicles like this, and their wheels just roll all over the floor. It’s a nice sound to listen to when you want to be calm at night. Some drivers like to listen to music while traveling around, so I can get a grisp of that as well. Today I heard a song in specific that I haven’t heard in a while but I can’t seem to remember the name...  (•¯ ∀ ¯•) not like I’d be able to ask him anyways.

Ah! Yesterday in the afternoon I also started my 2 month of chemotheraphy. Time sure flies away fast... I still get a little nervous whenever I see the doctor get closer with those large needles, but I’m trying to endure the pain at all costs, after all I’ll be under this treatment for over a year if it goes well so it’s better to get used to it rather than think about it too much. Thankfully I haven’t felt the side effects but I can’t be victorious yet, they usually come along hours after the treatment is done. In the meantime, I’ll eat delicious foods before I regret it. 

I wanted to tag along the video practice I had for the song... Tumblr won’t let me load it as expected...  ㅠㅠ I swear it’s coming out prettily! I even sang for it...

Right, I finally got to talk with my brother. Some small talk that I actually would have preferred not to have even though I’ve been looking forward to it since a while already, but that’s how life is. He said that my mother never said at any point that I have them all blocked on my social medias. I don’t know who to believe anymore... On one side I have the family I lived with for my whole lifetime but then there are my aunts whom I’m living with currently and will probably be doing so for a long time ahead. My head... I guess I can just wait for my dad to come back home so we can talk about it calmly.

On other news! I’m going back to school soon. Most people my age would get overly excited about it since they get to know a lot of people and walk around the campus, but I’m going to attend school online. My dad asked me about it for many weeks... My reasons behind this decision... It’s hard to explain that both your condition and your social anxiety won’t let you do anything the same way you’d do before... ;;

At the same time, I sat down for some hours yesterday at night while just staring at my father. Even though we didn’t see each other for plenty of years, and barely know each other, we’ve got to get a long quite nicely over this month. We talk comfortably with each other even though sometimes he gets easily distracted so I have to repeat myself over and over again... But it’s okay, I don’t mind doing so, since he’s someone I can rely on. I thought about how respetable he is as well, such a role model for me these days. He could of have refused to have me home but he took me inside with the doors wide open and all kinds of care and love. I’m very thankful about it. 

On the other hand, I still can’t understand one of my aunts in particular. I get along nicely with everyone on this house, even with the kids, but with an exception on this aunt and Hani. Hani is a little bit younger than me, still not legal, but she’s allowed to do whatever she wants even though the only thing she does is go to school, iddle around and be on her phone the whole time. When told to come inside after seeing her boyfriend, she won’t. She really does nothing but no one complains about it... It’s frustrating. When I help with the chores at home, I’m still treated like I’m useless. Suddenly, it feels like I got out of home to come to the same place. 

I took a short break while I was typing this just so I could get some fresh air outside. Instead, I got to enjoy a beautiful dawn from today. I’m sure Kate would like this kind of photography, even though I’m really bad at it ㅋㅋㅋ there are many things I have to take care of today, but I’ll try my best to keep up with this diary from now on.

Until then, happy vibes!  ♡

[jonathankatwhatever]

It’s 1 September 2023. I seem to be constructing numbers today. I can generally grasp why, but there’s something bubbling up through p-adic numbers. Not sure what.

No, I think it’s about an understanding not of p-adics but of what they mean, given their existence, and thus what existence means when seen through the lens of numbers. I have no idea what I’m going to say, no idea if it will make sense. Just going to trust myself, and I’ll try not to worry so much about punctuation and capitalization.

When you build a number system off primes, then you’re literally expressing LayerView at the base, at the prime itself. Every even multiple disappears in LV. Oh right, it appears in its proper places, which are at the L-count below and the one above, because otherwise it isn’t an ‘even’ in grisp. OK, so p-adics map to LayerView but with more detail because the evens now have multiple existences. No idea what I just said. What are multiple existences? They exist exactly as D-structure describes, with the End at the even, like L6 is between L5 and L7. To be clearer, at L7, the obvious count is to exclude the szK4 gs, but part of that exclusion is you test over that square to one side or the other. That fills up to the interior edge of the End which defines yes this must be szK4. It’s counting, so it works using the base End+CR method.

It’s great how well CR fits carriage return. I just noticed that. It’s at the end of a line, you reset to the beginning for the next, and CR means you reach the end of a line and you reset to the beginning for the next every instant, within every moment, a built in carriage return which identifies what happens next. Everything thing you do is an end.

Go through and capitalize the Ends and that works as math. The mechanics tend to be, can’t say if they always are yet, that of an electric current, not of a watch spinning. That is, because CR rotates the coordinate system, which is not the same as rotation within the coordinate system, which is a very important point, then any point, meaning here the real or expressive End, which may be a thought but which connects to something tangible, like what I’m typing, is in tension around the Boundary. Or rather than around, because that implies a circle, along and across, as well. So for example, a polynomial graphed represents the edge between spaces, and that works through decimal expansion of the variable. I don’t know why that’s difficult for me to accept: it’s obviously true that when we construct grid squares, that lines drawn in projection on a grid represent orthogonal structures of gs with irrational sides. That this embodies the fundamental conception of irrationality now leaps out at me. In other words, there are the perfect and the imperfect squares, 2 types of gs, and they exist in the basic orthogonal relationship we map in the conception of an Irreducible.

An imperfect square has one integer form, not 2. My head is starting to get lost. I think I just heard that this is why, this right here is why we have 0Space, the bifurcation of counting into the integer and non-integer forms. Note then that integer counting generates decimals, so the bifurcation is, as we all know, not a complete separation, but rather a splitting of approach, which is the Between exemplified. That is, the splitting of approach is exactly the 1-0Segmenting across Between in Start to End. It maps to an fD and to a gs.

No idea where this is going. The amount of process required to transform Triangular into grid squares is substantial. Example: if you take a single bT, it has 3fD, and if you take one of those, then you have 2bT, with 6 or perhaps 7 connected bT in each direction, so from 12 to 14. That’s just one thread of many. Example is that we can construct this from the other bT selected, which means we evaluate the relationship between the selection by both bT of the other. That directly translates into relative judgements of relationships, and this occurs inherently at the lowest possible level. And if you think about it, that’s as it should be because this embodies choice across the realm or Boundary of choice within the construction of grid squares and of our experience of reality. Not sure that was clear. I’m saying, I gather, that we have choice because this is a construction and we occur within it, meaning we exist within these same very complicated patterns as anything else, meaning tangibly and intangibly, so that choice extends along a Boundary. Should be Extends because we are wrapping a count of 1 over a space which remains a count of 1 as we manipulate it, from basic rotations to wackier stuff.

So, towers of p-adics map to LV. I think I heard that before, but didn’t quite get how it worked. Using the same approach as above, since K’ing has been working a lot lately, where I mean the process of identifying what comes together or splits apart out of a common thread, so the vertical in K represents the orthogonal structure at that End in its Irreducible to the implied axis, which is typically xK. But it can be an szK or yK.

Okay, so this is getting weirder. If we have xK and yK and szK, then since we choose one of the szK, with the other being incorporated as the Irreducible, then wham bam thank you ma’am isn’t that 3D? Isn’t that literal statement of 3D out of 4D? I know I’ve seen this before, in various notes, but it feels fresh because now we’re saying D3 and thus the D3-4//D4-3 Space with its threads, with its D4-3 existences and D3-4 existences makes complete sense when you draw this as Triangular over gs. I’m trying to see that last part better. Triangular over gs is the translation of ‘internal’ grisp generation of gs meaning the transformations required to convert all those bT and fD into stable form.

The image is clearer: 4Ends+CR is the stable solution to not only an fD in CR but the other ordering in which the orientation is Irreducible. What exactly does that mean? Irreducible in this sense means the perspective on orientation, as in if you pick xK, then you locate points like -1, 0, and 1 while in yK, it could be -i, 0, and i or -1, 0, and 1, and so on, but the point is that these constructions rotate within a larger space and that larger space has a form which is Irreducible. The idea of a ball spinning just came into view: if you spin it, you may say it is perfectly the same, and then you move it in space and that means it can’t be perfectly the same because it now inherently counts an orthogonal alternation space which relates conceptions of origin and the end of the line, like a rocket launch. In other words, it now projects more obviously to a grid because now it counts more visibly along an axis.

The ultimate spinning gs construction would be a black hole. That came together when we grasped the concept of CM2.8 as the disappearance/appearance (see the perspective?) of CM28, which means we count the reduced CM64+reducedCM28 to get the necessary K’ing, like above, where we see alternatives, a pairing, an alteration count, etc. appear. That last ‘alternation count’ is huge in my head at this moment.

Again, every day I think: this is the best possible work I can do, and then I blow that away if not the next then the day after. My head is swirling.

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My head is full of music. My body wants to dance. Matching to ideal forms. The moments of grace conception as the instances within the 1 of the 0-1-0 of your life when you can feel the connection is absolutely true. With gs, that means within the context or basis or frame or other way of describing constructed space, as in an answer to a question being responsive to the framing within which the question is asked.

The relation to sets and thus to various space definitions needs clarification. Road in appears to be through Felix Hausdorff, which is neat. I see the relation of points to Ends through the lens of specific and non.