#grievances with other episodes aside this one popped off

[possamble]

oh i really appreciate how trigger used the boobie bounce in service of making that scene as horrifying as intended (beautiful girl arrives in almost a classic anime girl pose and smile after squashing someone's head like a tomato) i just wish they'd be more consistent with understanding the assignment

[tomeandflickcorner]

Falcon and Winter Soldier Episode 4- My Thoughts

Okay.  I have no idea what to expect now.  As always, spoilers under the cut.

This episode shook things up by starting off with a flashback, involving the time Bucky spent in Wakanda after the events of Civil War. It’s the moment where Shuri managed to remove the Winter Soldier programing from Bucky’s brain, and Ayo is personally performing a test to make sure the procedure was truly successful.  As many people have already discussed, this whole scene was masterfully done.  As Ayo is reciting the Winter Soldier Activation Words, Bucky’s utter fear of relapsing is tangible in his face and voice.  But as the test continues, the fear in Bucky’s face slowly is replaced by disbelief and elation.  Because he’s realizing the Winter Soldier Activation Words aren’t affecting him anymore.  But it’s not until Ayo directly tells him that he’s finally free that he fully lets himself believe it, and he breaks down crying from the joyful relief.  Anyone who tries to claim that Sebastian Stan isn’t a phenomenal actor has clearly never watched this scene.

Of course, this flashback ends up being immediately contrasted to the present day scene, where Ayo is confronting Bucky in Latvia over the issue of him helping break Zemo out of prison.  We saw in the flashback that Ayo was the one who personally tested Bucky to ensure he was freed from the Winter Soldier programing, which suggests they had a personal bond.  But now, that bond has been damaged because of the whole issue with Zemo.  I fully understand why Ayo is angry about this.  After all, she’s not only part of the Dora Milaje, but she’s the second in command of that band of elite warriors.  As such, her first priority will always be to Wakanda and it’s throne.  And we all remember that Zemo was directly responsible for the death of the late King T’Chaka, so it’s natural that he’d be considered their enemy.  Plus, while it’s been a while since I saw Civil War, I think it was Ayo who was supposed to be protecting King T’Chaka at the time of the UN bombing.  If it was, that would further explain why she’s so miffed, because she must feel like she’d failed in her duty to protect him because of Zemo’s actions. (And, in a way, Zemo’s actions in Civil War probably also led to the events of Black Panther.  Because without King T’Chaka’s death, there might not have been that power struggle between T'Challa and Killmonger.)   But now, Bucky assisted Zemo’s escape from prison.  The same Bucky who the people of Wakanda had taken in, cared for and helped get his life, identity and autonomy back.  Yeah, I can see why Ayo would take this personally.  Bucky  really should have checked in with them before doing what he did.  Granted it was a spur of the moment decision and he probably didn’t have the time to contact them in order to give them a heads up about it, but the point still stands.  Still, when Bucky explains he needs Zemo to finish his current mission in stopping the Flag Smashers, Ayo reluctantly agrees to give Bucky a mercy period of eight hours.  At which point the Dora Milaje will return in order to take Zemo into their custody.

After Ayo leaves, Bucky rejoins Sam and Zemo, and they begin discussing the issue of Karli and the Flag Smashers.  Sam says that he wants to try reasoning with Karli in order to come up with a peaceful solution.  Because he understands where she’s coming from in regards to how she clearly feels the world is not listening to her people and properly addressing their needs.  But he doesn’t agree with her methods of fighting.  Zemo, however, doesn’t think it’s possible to reason with Karli because of her taking the Super Soldier Serum.  His argument seems to be that everyone who has ever taken the Super Soldier Serum gets corrupted in some way.  The only exception to that rule was Steve Rogers, but Zemo points out there has never been another Steve.  (Interestingly, when he says this, the camera seems to focus on Sam.  I wonder if that was an intentional decision or just a lucky accident.)  And yes, they also don’t really acknowledge the fact that Bucky didn’t become a Super Soldier voluntarily.  Unlike Steve and the Flag Smashers, he wasn’t given a choice in the matter.  But I guess that’s beside the point.

To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what Zemo’s goal is right here.  Because he does seem to be sticking around with Sam and Bucky, even though he had a few chances to give them the slip.  But at the same time, this is still Zemo.  And he seems to have a major grievance against Super Soldiers and all enhanced individuals.  Which probably explains why he’s sticking around, considering the mission involves the Flag Smashers, who all injected themselves with the Super Soldier Serum.  But is he eventually planning to try and take down Bucky, too?  

In any event, the trio decide their best chance of getting Sam his opportunity of sitting down and talking with Karli is at the funeral of that woman who we saw die in the last episode.  Because this woman was apparently well-loved by the community.  (Side note, I shared Bucky’s confusion when Sam begin talking about his TT.  I have never heard that particular slang word for aunt before.  Is this a regional/cultural thing?)  They do manage to determine the location of this funeral thanks to Zemo, who manages to gain the trust of this one little girl by offering her some Turkish Delight. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe vibes aside, that was a pretty good idea.  I don’t even remotely like this guy, but I can admit he’s smart.  But them, when they’re on the way to the funeral, John Walker pops up, being his usual likable self.  He argues with Sam for a bit over Sam’s intention to try talking with Karli in the hopes of coming to a peaceful resolution, which contradicts with Walker’s plan of just apprehending her.  Thankfully, Lemar Hoskins is able to convince Walker to at least try giving Sam a chance.

After the funeral, Sam approaches Karli and begins to talk with her, utilizing his skills as a councilor and therapist of war vets.  And he’s actually starting to get through to her.  But then, Walker botches it all up.  Because he just couldn’t give Sam the ten minutes he requested and barges in to arrest her.  Which results in Karli thinking that the whole thing was just a setup and throwing all of Sam’s progress with her out the window.  Karli and the other Flag Smashers end up getting away, but in the process, Karli had a brief run-in with Zemo.  And their confrontation resulted in Karli accidently dropping the vials of Super Serum she’d been carrying around in her fanny pack.  Zemo, going along with his whole shtick of enhanced individuals must go, starts to destroy the vials.  But while he’s doing so, Walker comes up and knocks him out with the Shield.  And that’s when Walker sees that there’s only one vial of Super Serum remaining.  Unbeknownst to Sam and Bucky, he secretly ends up pocketing the vial before they arrive on the scene. 

Sometime later, they’re all back at that apartment(?) where Bucky, Sam and Zemo have been crashing in Latvia.  Walker decides enough is enough, and he’s going to return Zemo to his cell in Germany.  But that’s when Ayo and the other Dora Milaje appear. It seems that the eight hours that Ayo gave Bucky are up, and they’ve also come for Zemo.  Of course, Walker, being the arrogant moron he is, is rather dismissive towards the Dora Milaje, trying to claim that they don’t have jurisdiction there.  Which leads to Ayo stating her epic line, of how the Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever they are.

https://youtu.be/jG8u1UdD-T0

When Walker proceeds to neglect to show the proper respect towards Ayo and the rest of the Dora Milaje, despite Sam’s urging to not start anything with them, Ayo proceeds to put him in his place by giving him the beatdown he deserves.  And I really like how Bucky seemed content to just sit back and watch it happen, embodying the viewing audience in the process.  (His ‘looking strong, John’ was just so wonderfully snarky.)  Eventually though, Sam gets Bucky to step in.

Of course, that leads me to the part where Ayo reveals she can detach Bucky’s vibranium arm with just two moves. Which seems to be a pretty polarizing moment in this episode.  Okay, I acknowledge that this whole situation is extremely complicated.  And as I stated earlier, I fully appreciate that Ayo is feeling particularly betrayed by Bucky’s actions in assisting Zemo’s escape from prison without discussing it with the Wakandans first.  That being said?  DUDE!  I know it’s easy to forget sometimes, but the fact remains that Bucky is an amputee.  A man with a physical disability.  You don’t up and remove a disabled man’s prosthetic limb without his consent!  What’s wrong with you?  It’s the same as going up to a deaf person and ripping out their hearing aid, or taking away someone’s wheelchair!

Also, it’s possible I missed something about this scene, but the way it was set up doesn’t make a lot of sense.  I didn’t see anything to suggest that Bucky and Sam were attempting to prevent the Dora Milaje from leaving with Zemo.  If Walker hadn’t started trying to throw his weight around, they probably would have allowed it without an argument.  Bucky only intervened in the ensuing fight in order to dissolve the situation.  And when he stepped in, it almost looked as if Ayo was preparing to make a killing blow.  Which is way extreme because, while Walker is an arrogant, smug prat and deserved to get knocked down a few pegs, at this point, he hadn’t really done anything to warrant getting impaled by a spear.  Yeah, I get Ayo and the other Dora Milaje are undoubtedly super angry right now because of the whole Zemo thing and tempers are running high.  But at the same time, that fact alone means they really shouldn’t be acting rashly. Oh, at it gets better.  Because while everyone was distracted by all the fighting, Zemo slips into the bathroom and manages to escape by moving the bathtub aside and slithering away down the drain like the snake he is.  (Exactly how big are the pipes in Latvia?)  So because of all this fighting, Zemo is now roaming around free somewhere, and the Dora Milaje have to leave without him.  I repeat, I fully get this is a complicated, complex situation, and I understand where they’re coming from.  But perhaps if the Dora Milaje didn’t start fighting with Bucky and Sam when they stepped in to interfere with Walker’s well-deserved beatdown, maybe Zemo wouldn’t have gotten away.  Just saying, they were doing a pretty good job of keeping Zemo on a leash up until now.

So anyway, in the aftermath of this fight, you see Walker starting to have a mental breakdown.  Because he is completely flabbergasted that he was effortlessly taken down by the Dora Milaje.  Because while they are unquestionably highly skilled and trained warriors, they are still completely ordinary people.  Not a single one of them have been injected with the Super Serum. So how is he supposed to manage going up against the Flag Smashers, who are Super Soldiers?  (It’s also possible that Walker’s despondency over this is partially fueled by him having sexist and xenophobic viewpoints, considering the Dora Milaje are all African women, but that’s open to interpretation.) While he and Hoskins are sitting at a diner somewhere, Walker, clearly thinking about the fact that he has the last vial of Super Serum, asks Hoskins if he would take the Super Serum if he had the chance.  Hoskins states he would take it.  Which is clearly meant to parallel an earlier scene, where Zemo asked Sam if he would take it if it was ever offered.  Because Sam stated he wouldn’t without hesitation.  Which once again further cements the fact that Steve made the right choice in choosing Sam as his successor.  (It’s also evident by the fact that Sam is the one trying to find a peaceful resolution with the Flag Smashers, while Walker is simply trying to charge in and simply take them out.)

Things come to a head when Karli actually calls up Sam’s sister, Sarah, and directly threatens her and her kids in order to give Sam an incentive to meet with her again.  So Sam, with Bucky accompanying him, suits up as Falcon in order to confront her.  Karli attempts to try and convince Sam to join up with her, but Sam still insists that, while her goal is honorable, there’s a better way to fight without resorting to violence (such as blowing up buildings with innocent people inside).  But once again, Walker mucks it all up.  Because, Sam is then contacted by Sharon Carter.  Who seems to be able to track Walker via satellite?  Which seems to contradict something she said earlier about not having access to satellites, unless I misheard that line.  Yeah, Sharon is kinda shady in this episode.  If the fan theory that she’s actually the Power Broker turns out to be right, I won’t be that shocked.  In any event, it seems that either Walker and Hoskins ended up going after the Flag Smashers again or Karli’s meeting with Sam was just a diversion to keep Sam and Bucky out of the way while the Flag Smashers tried to go after Walker in order to kill him.  I’m not sure which it was.  But regardless, Sam and Bucky immediately go off to try and find Walker before it’s too late, with Karli also running off to join the fight.

Here, it’s one big action sequence, with Bucky, Sam and Walker fighting against Karli and the Flag Smashers.  Hoskins eventually joins in the fight as well (he was absent from the start of the fight because he was jumped by some of the Flag Smashers and was briefly tied up in a bathroom somewhere until he managed to free himself).  But in the mist of the battle, Karli ends up either kicking or punching Hoskins into a stone pillar with full Super Soldier strength.  And the impact apparently snaps Hoskin’s spine, killing him instantly.  

Okay!  I was seriously not expecting them to kill Hoskins off like that!  And it’s a shame, too.  Because while I barely knew Hoskins, he still seemed like an okay guy.  At least he was the one who, however briefly, convinced Walker to at least try to give Sam a chance to talk to Karli. Which indicated he wasn’t as gung-ho and impulsive as Walker is.  Unfortunately, it seems that Hoskin’s death was the breaking point for Walker, because he immediately snaps.  And while Bucky and Sam go after Karli when she makes a break for it, Walker goes right for the other Flag Smashers.  He quickly corners the Flag Smasher called Nico, who I think was Karli’s right-hand man, in the middle of a crowded square.  And, in full view of everyone, mercilessly murders Nico with the Shield.  And he is showing no reaction to the fact that the onlookers are all staring at him in shock and horror, or even that some people were filming him with their camera phones.   He simply straps the Shield, which is now covered with blood, onto his arm.  And that’s where the episode ends.

Well, crap!  That’s a rather dark note to end the episode on.  Clearly, Walker is unstable.  And I have no idea what the final two episodes of this show will be like.  The even more chilling aspect is that, while it’s not explicitly stated, it’s implied that Walker might have already taken the Super Serum!  And this show of rage and aggression was the result of it.  After all, as Dr. Erskine had said way back when, the Serum elevates everything.  Good becomes great, but bad becomes worse.  And Walker was clearly undergoing a phycological breakdown to begin with.  So if he’s taken the Super Serum (like we were probably supposed to assume he did when he effortlessly bent a metal pole like a pretzel during the last battle scene with the Flag Smashers), then he must be REALLY unstable now!  And now, the Shield, the very symbol of Captain America (which is tied to Steve Roger’s legacy), is now tainted by a bloodstain. Again, I have no idea where the show plans to go from here on in.

Speaking of the Shield?  On a closing note, I do have to address the fact that Bucky once again scolded Sam for giving away the Shield in the first place.  *Sigh*  Okay.  Bucky?  I love you, man.  You’re my favorite character in the MCU so far (apart from Goose, of course).  But you really need to stop blaming Sam for this.  Because Sam didn’t give the Shield away like you’re suggesting.  That’s not what happened.  Sam donated the Shield to the Smithsonian, with the understanding that it would be kept there, as a monument to everything Steve Rogers did and stood for.  It was the US Government who went behind Sam’s back and took back the Shield in order to hand it over to Walker.  Sam didn’t know they were going to do that until after the fact.  Yes, Bucky has every right to be mad about what happened.  His feelings are justified and valid.  (Particularly if they end up revealing what I think they’re going to reveal.)   But he’s taking it out on the wrong person.  And he really does owe Sam an apology.

[ptw30]

to me the most disappointing scene in s7 was that one in ep2 when the team was talking about earth and Shiro was looking pensive was talking about himself, I seriously I thought he was finally going to show some vulnerability in front of the team and maybe share his past with and the team was going to show him love and support kickstarting his own development and the team becoming a lot closer that we were promised. and then lance pops up says something goofy and the moment is gone -_- why?

That’s one really great point. I think Lance jumped in there because that’s one of his “things.” Lance did that during Krolia and Shiro’s introduction, too. He inserts himself, but there’s also another reason why - and it’s my pet peeve of the season.

The story treats Shiro as not a paladin, which means he doesn’t get time/exploring into his character that comes associated with being a paladin. But here’s the kicker -  Just because Shiro isn’t a pilot of a lion, doesn’t mean he’s not a Paladin of Voltron. 

And according to the narrative, he still is one.    

After all, Shiro wasn’t in the Black Lion’s consciousness, as per Keith’s thoughts in Season 6. 

He was actually living in Voltron’s quintessence, which means if anyone is a paladin of Voltron…it should be Shiro. 

So why was he not included in the paladin moments? EP interviews aside - since we didn’t see Black and Shiro’s connection break in the story - Shiro is a paladin still. 

In fact, he was the one who continuously taught everyone else how to be a paladin. 

So why wasn’t Shiro included in “The Journey Within” journey? 

He was wearing his paladin armor, too. 

No helmet? Stick a helmet on Shiro. Not sure why that would be a problem, seeing as all the other paladins have one on. They sometimes have them off while flying, too, as per Krolia’s training exercise. So all paladins could have had their helmets off, too, and when the paladins went out to push the lions, Shiro could have helped. One arm doesn’t stop him from using his jetpack.  

Plus - he has grievances with the team. 

Sure, Lance yells about Keith running away - which the team doesn’t ever really solve or delve deeper into - 

- but Shiro could have easily yelled here, “None of you ever noticed I was switched with a clone. He put you danger. He attacked you, and yet you thought he was me? You thought I could do all those things. Even you, Keith?”

Nope. Instead, he do get one really great snarky quote - 

- and that’s it.Heck, I’m not even sure why he wasn’t in “The Feud.” He was left out of that one, too, and don’t get me started on the implications of Bob - or “God” - judging the worthiness of the paladins. 

And hell, Shiro could have just been in the audience - or maybe they could have phoned a friend. ANYTHING, instead of leaving him out of their paladin “family” struggle.

And here - 

Why didn’t Shiro jump down to fight? He was willing to take on a Galra pirate in episode 2, and though Krolia stopped him, he was up and fighting in “The Way Forward.” 

Another paladin luxury - End shots with family. Shiro did the voice-over exposition a la Star Trek Into Darkness, but…that’s showing he’s not a paladin. 

Of course, you could argue that the story was framing Shiro as the head of Voltron again - if not Voltron itself - as he was the only one standing in front of the lions at the end of the story. And Atlas was nowhere to be seen.  

But that’s a straw of hope I’m afraid to grasp. 

TL;DR: Shiro is a paladin, even if not a lion’s pilot, and I hate that the story refused to let him be. 

[bushybeardedbear]

So Season 7 of Voltron Legendary Defender... Oh Boy...

I had so much spoiled before watching it. Thanks email alerts. So after seeing so much spoiled already, I started lurking in Tumblr again. By the time I’d actually got round to watching the season I felt like I’d already watched most of it and was primed with all the various thoughts and opinions people were sharing online. In the days beforehand I was up and down like a yoyo on a rollercoaster. Hopeful one day, thinking it’s not even worth watching the next. Hovering my finger over “delete” on both this blog and my fics at points... Even contemplating that right now if I’m honest. Maybe I should have been Bushy Bearded Drama-Llama?

In any case, having finally sat down with rock bottom, possibly even sub zero expectations and watched, here are my thoughts now season seven is over... Well... In short, I think it suffers a lot from being so rushed. And before you say it, no, going in with low expectations wasn’t a self fulfilling prophecy. Psychologically speaking the opposite is true. If we go into something with low expectations, we tend to have a better opinion overall than we would have if we went in with sky high expectations. And whilst it may seem like I hated it so far...? Well, no. I didn’t hate it. There were some parts that didn’t gel with me, but to say I hated it would be an insult to everyone involved. But that doesn’t make it free from criticism. If you care what this bear’s about to growl about, strap in, it’s not a short one. Not kidding. This is long. But I guess I needed to get my feelings down and hopefully have someone patient enough to read it and see that I’m not completely insane. And, thought I shouldn’t have to say this... None of this comes from a place of hate. No, I don’t think regardless of how you feel about this season that hatred to the creators is ever acceptable. If you feel you must, then voice your grievances calmly, rationally, but the second you resort to hate you have already lost. Though what I would suggest is to just accept this season as it is and move on.  Moving on is partly why I’m compelled to write this post. Maybe if you are going to read this monster, bring some caramel to counteract the salt...

The Season Itself

So within the first episode, I’m already full of mixed emotions. Yes, the Plance moment was great. Yes, the dynamic between Hunk and Romelle was cool. Coran was great, supportive Crolia, the none too subtle dig at Prometheus as Lance and Pidge ran from the grass... (Don’t think we didn’t spot that you writer rascals! Run at an angle!) I remain in Sheith Limbo trying to reconcile they met when Keith was literally a child and relationships can grow and develop with a worried dash of will people misinterpret this as grooming if they got together...? But a lot of it was by the by. Honey I Shrunk The Paladins was a great fun start to the series interspersed with great emotional character building for Shiro and Keith. It fleshed them both out in ways I wish we’d seen sooner and as others have pointed out drastically reframes a lot of the protective over Shiro moments in the context of his degenerative disease. And yet, it doesn’t make Shiro a victim, nor Keith a white knight, it keeps them both flawed yet strong heroes. Tiny cute paladins, Lance’s cargo pilot reference. As always the design of the planets is gorgeous. Lance sharpshooting. The attention to detail with little things like in scale surface tension! I can’t overstate how much time, effort and thought has gone into this! The narrative parallels of the speeder bikes. Honestly, there is SO much to unpack in just one episode that could easily be overlooked as silly and/or filler. But it’s so much. Keith’s growth is such fun to watch, confirmation of certain fan theories is great yet so sad at the same time...

It allowed Romelle to actually have a character that wasn’t just “Lotor Plot Delivery Service” and her interactions with Hunk were pretty adorable. “Are all ancient Alteans like this?” Was a great subtle piece of world building as well. And yeah, pretty sure I saw @hailqiqi mention this already, but Hunk and Romelle are so the audience surrogates. The one and only thing that bugged me, given the fact that so much of Voltron has had to be rushed or cut for time... Did we really need the flashbacks in this episode shown twice back in the quantum abyss episode...? Couldn’t that time in the QA been used for something else...? But that’s a very minor gripe. Overall, I massively enjoyed this episode but I’m still nervous given the priming from the fandom going forward... But that last hug? Saving Shiro with his voice / quintessence maybe?

The Road home starts off well, though the idea that still nobody knows or comments on Katie’s name being such did disappoint me a little... The space road trip starting up was so cute, even if Lance’s logic of passengers is lost on me...aside from maybe cutting Pidge some slack. Let me Headcanon that little touch of unconscious favouritism, yeah? Though his taking charge in the battle here, being the right hand man, was really nice to see here. From the audience perspective, he may be stating the obvious, but in canon, that’s what we call battlefield awareness. Imagine season 1 Lance doing this? Nah. Buthe’s had no growth, so people say... “It’s super dangerous, it’s perfect!” Wonderful! And Keith’s leadership! Great stuff. (Almost) Everyone getting a chance to shine in the cave combat was also awesome. Full on frenetic energy, a little flourish of comedy from time to time, great characterisation, calm before the storm leading to a sudden yet satisfying cliffhanger? Full on Voltron to a T.

"I will help you look for that passage.” Is a cute Plance moment that others are overlooking I feel. Coran’s memoirs are something I would personally read the hell out of. I don’t know about the rest of you. But seeing the entire saga retold through Coran’s eyes...? I’d love to see it. I’m also kinda happy to know how “Acxa” is pronounced! The slow reveal of the time skip up until the reveal at the end is nice, though honestly not as mysterious as the show seemed to think it was. Maybe it was just that I got spoiled? Evil power couple were great as well and it was nice to see the ice pop mystery solved. A return of Altean shapeshifting was nice to see. “Sweet on that one with the flippity hair” and “your favourite paladin” “never wanted to kill him” “true love”? Seems a little out of left field. Unexpected? Maybe not, just rushed? Axca and Keith seemed a little sudden. To me felt like they just needed to pair a spare and keep Kieth and Allura apart. Which, I get into later. Keith being able to transport his bayard seems...fine...? Why are people complaining about this? Paladins summon their bayarads all the time. He just did it from a few extra feet...?  I do wish Coran had a chance to play to his strengths though. Aside from his courage. He has brains and feels like he needs to use them more or be written in scenarios where he can use them. The three year time skip, when revealed, seems like it was just a convenient way to avoid the immediate aftermath of Lotor losing the throne. It works in that regard I suppose. But by the end of this episode I wasn’t really sold on it.

Nice new haircut though Axca. Really sells the redeemed rebel former baddie archetype. And thank goodness for your exposition. Tell don’t show, am I right? One of the ways we can see the show was rushed I feel. Though again, maybe just being picky...

The Game Show Episode. I was expecting this later in the season honestly. It was good for comic relief I guess, so it served it’s purpose. Seeing the first family of the Galra along for some comedy was great if only for Neil Kaplan having such fun. But it felt like it was missing something. I can’t quite put my finger on what. It was nice to get insight into how the Paladins feel about each other but again, it felt like a way to get those ideas and characterisations out into the open without having to, y’know, show them in natural narrative progression. It’s probably the weakest of the comedy episodes so far and it felt a little like it was all just happening until it eventually stopped. It didn’t feel like the little hints of “tv flickering” implying something artificial were necessary. In fact, as soon as I saw the concept I thought “so, all powerful being captures them for reasons?” and that’s pretty much what we got. It was...ok. Just ok. And y’know what...? After seven seasons, maybe we do need to drop the “Lance is the dumb one” joke? I mean, yes, he’s not as smart as the rest of the team. No doubt. But if he’d been given a chance to shine on his own terms, with his own abilities, if they’d subverted the goofball archetype rather than doubling down on it I think this would have made for a more interesting episode. Just because it’s comedy doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be compelling. The Voltron Show for instance literally dealt with Coran pushing himself so hard to help the Paladins that he was willing to resort to what was essentially a mind altering drug and forcing himself to kick the habit. Where was the actual plot in this episode? Funny moments need a framework and this kinda lacked a framework in my opinion.

Really episode 5? A Kobayashi Maru scenario...? Indeed, running a simulation when the lions are running on fumes...? Ok, you do you I guess... Little self referential humour from Coran was nice, but a little on the nose. And honestly, I think these episodes are starting to feel like, I dunno, filler material? Like, nothing is really being furthered in terms of the massive plots they still need to deal with. Did the journey back to Earth really need to take so many episodes, or could these have been more efficiently used to deal with countless plot threads that remain unresolved...? It’s a strange thing to be feeling at this stage, but maybe there’s more to come...?  And...it felt like another clip show filling out the backstory of the three years of Voltron being missing... Maybe it’s just me, but if you have written yourself into a scenario where the only way out is repeated massive exposition dumps... Maybe you need to rethink your story just a touch...? The fact it was also told from an unreliable narrator also means it wasn’t just exposition...it was literally pointless exposition that was likely mostly a combination of lies and half truths. And I’m sorry but, were people really clamouring for a rematch between Keith and “That One Nameless Druid...?” Really? You won’t hear me denying it was cool fight scene, yes indeed, but the set up wasn’t exactly great in my opinion.  As for how Keith managed to win? Ok, sure, I guess summoning the Bayard from a few feet was a build up to something else, something even more special that may or may not get resolved this season. I’m writing these as I go. Or will it be one more plot point that will need to be resolved in the next season with limited time and episodes to do so? Keith and Krolia’s goodbye was sad. I do hope for a reunion, but honestly don’t expect it. I imagine she’ll die off screen for shock value. Sadly, I already know the fate of Altean colony and why Haggar has forsaken her druids, so, no real hook for me there. 

So the halfish way point. Lost in space, desperately trying to force plance out of every interaction... And ultimately, just getting bored. I mean, yes, I get that they need to reconnect with each other... But there are countless ways it could have been resolved other than this. It didn’t really feel like there was need for this particular journey into the darkest cave. It also feels a little forced that after saving countless realities by working together, they now all get forced apart...? Hunk saving the day, saving the team, great. Really wonderful stuff. He’s been overlooked for so long. But the idea that they needed to become friends again...? To reconnect...again...? I don’t know that it felt necessary. If after all these years, literal years together there isn’t already a profound connection...? I just can’t really buy that. And again, it felt like a filler episode. And Hunk Priming the audience for the concept of passing the torch? Yeah, that didn’t go unseen.  Maybe it’s just me, but after six episodes where it was already established that they can travel at crazy speeds to be told “yeah no, it’s not that the lions were drained, it’s just these people who’ve literally saved the universe together aren’t quite best friends enough...”? That just feels silly.  And yes, I know “silly” is relative when we’re talking about a powerful group of robot magical cat things that are powered by love and freindship. BUT what I feel was silly was the idea that their friendship was strained at all. It felt as though the season wanted there to be this divide between them but...the comedy episode just a little while ago established they’re all willing to sacrifice themselves for each other.... 

That’s just....fundamentally contradictory. Are you guys barely even connected as friends or are you willing to die for each other? You can’t be both... It makes the whole “struggle” of getting back to Earth feel false because it’s predicated on the assumption that they’re a fractured team this episode yet there’s been literally no sign of that until now... Still, as always, the visuals were cool. The Space Angler Fish is a great concept. The music was great. The voice acting was on point. Everything was so SO good except...the writing... The writing in this particular episode in the context of everything preceding it just felt... Bad. Rushed. Forced. Contradictory. Drama for the sake of drama. Artificial... What’s going on guys...?

So a multiparter? Let’s see. Ok. Seeing how awesome Sam Holt is, fine. Seeing him reunite with Colleen. Also fine and dandy and cool. And it tugged at the heart strings... But do we really need him to literally tell us everything we already know in a power point presentation...? The audience doesn’t need to be caught up on the events.We don’t need a massive chunk of the episode’s run time devoted to playing catch up. We have the time for this, but apparently - according to the spoilers - we don’t have time to establish that Allura is getting over Lotor and Falling for Lance...? Not even a throw away line, or a glance, or a suggestion of that fact that needs establishing after her season six reaction to the mice... But we do have time for the events of the show to be repeated to us...? What!? I am literally bewildered at this choice. Flabbergasted. Gobsmacked.

The worst thing about this so far, is that under all the EXPOSITION there’s a great story that wants too be told. I think we’re only seeing fragments of that story. Sam and Coleen struggling to find their children again and fighting against political nonsense. But real talk... This was all stuff that could have done just fine implied. The Paladins arrive on Earth, they see the new ships piloted by their inevitable replacements in the new series they seem to want to make, Lance asks, “What are those?” Sam responds, “A fusion of Galra, Altean and Olkari tech. The culmination of months of Earth’s greatest minds working together. It was a struggle, but we got them made in the end...” BOOM. Done. Efficient use of what is obviously painfully limited time. Did we NEED the power point, the montages, the backdoor pilot for the new team...? Did we - good as they were - even need the Holt Family suffering...? Couldn’t Coleen’s transmission to everyone on Earth have been enough to get the point across that they’re awesome...? In my opinion, we didn’t need this. Not like this at least. It could have been done so much more efficiently, so much less padding. But we did get to see snippets of the messages back home. That was nice. But it doesn’t change the fact that the majority of the first episode felt really... Unnecessary. But that’s just how I feel after part one... So, the first half of the second episode? Superb. Can’t fault it, good heroic stuff, Sam stepping up. A realistic invasion of Earth, ie, we lose that’s rare to see in most media. Can’t fault it. Then the second half kicks in. The four archetypes we’ve been barely introduced to, go on a mission that narratively speaking is utterly unnecessary. I know that the Atlas gets built thanks to spoilers. But even if I didn’t, what function does this part serve? We may not be able to build a thing. Later on, that thing will be built. Do we need to into the minutiae of how the supplies were gathered...? Well, I suppose we do. But not because of how it serves the overall plot of Voltron Legendary Defender, but how it sells these new kids to us for the new series they obviously assume they’re making. But if it wasn’t for that? 

Then it defaults to more exposition... More information that could have been relayed to the audience in much more engaging ways.

This could have been, rather than a messy and kinda redundant two part episode with occasional brilliance, it could have been trimmed down to a truly brilliant single part. I’m not invested in these new characters. Let me get there or not when I see them in their own show. And if they’re literally just there as homage to the sequel series from the 80′s...then they don’t need this much focus. The actual paladins and their interpersonal dynamics do. Rift creatures do. Lotor’s fate does. Why are we wasting the limited time that remains on this unless it’s a back door pilot? Why should the current series suffer just to promote the next one...? It’s just exhausting and disappointing. By the end I was agreeing with Keith. What are we waiting for...? The continuation of the series we came here for. What kept us waiting was either an advert for the next series or a massive misstep in pacing.

And now, finally back to the real story and after two episodes establishing that Earth is screwed over, Earth can barely contact other parts of itself, Earth is on the brink of collapse, Earth is holding on by a thread... In the first scene we have Earth, somehow, triangulating a jamming signal into the outer edges of the solar system and remaining undetected as they do so...? Even assuming they are “just” sending commands to satellites and installations elsewhere in the solar system, The Galra would detect that command signal. And given how much we’ve had it stated, overstated, hammered home that Earth is in such bad shape...that feels like a real ass pull. 

I am being nitpicky, yes, but this is the second time this has happened on such a large and frankly contradictory scale. So I’m calling it out again. First The Paladins are willing to die for each other, or at least be trapped for eternity, then they are barely friends. Then, Earth can barely contact it’s own countries, but sending an undetectable command signal to at least three satellites in the solar system is fine...? Why not just have Voltron get the signal sooner!? Why not have Pidge send a jamming signal...?

And in terms of introductions to the new team? What we got after the drone attack? Perfect. It didn’t need to be an entire episode of establishing them because it isn’t their story. But the Paladins meeting their families? The reconciliation with Iverson? Shiro grieving for Adam. Where was all this before now? Why hasn’t our focus been where it belongs. On the Paladins? Now, I don’t really want to get into the whole debate about unfair representation of LGBT characters. I can see both sides of the argument as being valid. Shiro remains a strong canonically gay character even if the man he once loved is gone. Adam, though dead, is not immune to tragedy just for being gay. What we did see though was a man openly crying for his lost love. There’s plenty to be critical of the series for. But personally, I don’t feel the treatment of Adam and Shiro is “queerbaiting” so much as it is a couple unfairly separated by the horrors of war. A canonically and unambiguously gay couple. That’s representation. Just it may not be precisely what everyone wanted. But don’t let me stop you writing out impassioned critiques, don’t let me stop you airing and venting your grievances. I’m doing that right now, aren’t I? Just please please please don’t send any more hatred at the creators...

Now, this whole section of the Altean enhanced tech...? Why is this being reiterated again? This could stand on it’s own as an introduction to the concept of Earth meets Alien tech. Why are we being shown the same things twice, first in the two parter in depth and again now...? Why do this when there is so much else that needs addressing in ever dwindling episodes...? Though aside from that, Hunk and Keith connecting is great. Hunk finally having a dedicated arc to save his family also great. Hunk being the outsider to the Garrison Trio dynamic and spending time with Keith again? Also great, wonderful even. So where was all this previously...? But even this, even this has to be if not overshadowed then frankly hijacked by the new characters they want to sell to us. It’s getting tiresome. I don’t want Hunk’s moments overshadowed, his spotlight taken... But damn, if he doesn’t still stand proud regardless. This is the Voltron I’ve been missing for most of the season.

I was going to post the image of him crying, but couldn’t do it... So here, Happier Hunk.

Don’t know how I feel about Hover Hand. I get they’re setting it up for the final conflict with Sendak, so that Shiro will be his literal and visual antithesis...but...hover hand looks kinda goofy. And being the counterpoint to your nemesis doesn’t need to be so literal all the time. And again, the new characters forcing their way into the story with a half baked excuse to sell you them. I think from now on I’m just going to comment when Team Replacements don’t force themselves in...Even the fact one of them was Veronica felt a little frustrating, because Lance’s family dynamic with her is overshadowed in my opinion by her being part of the new forced team of replacements. Allura giving up her crystal tiara for Shiro was a nice moment. 

Okay, now imagine the whole infiltration section without Team Replacements. Just the Paladins, doing their thing. Let’s assume their resident tech genius has a way to stop the sentry drones sending out distress calls. 

What did they contribute other than a few quips? Are we really expected to believe our paladins, the protagonists of the story need these people...? No. It was just written that way to force the new guys in. What we need to wonder is why and the answer is most likely... Back Door Pilot. Over multiple episodes. That undermined the series I was already watching. And finally, despite it being the supposed new canon ship in town, we see our first indication that Lance and Allura might be interested. Or do we? No, we just see Lance checking her out and being teased. Then immediately afterwards we see Pidge implementing Lance style silliness and even a Lance style distraction with her own spin on it. But no, let’s focus on the blushing and the eyeballing. I’m not salty. I’m dead sea levels of salty. But I’ll put that aside for now... And roll my eyes at the Wilhelm scream... Ok, so I was all ready to be excited about the plan, but then the super forced Allurance twin blush happened. Was it...was it really supposed to hit home when there was no build up to it this season...? Or was checking her out through the sniper sights enough to replace any hint of them coming closer or Allura setting aside Lotor...? Sure, she’s bound to do it in time, but all I’d want is something to suggest as much on screen. Just a throw away line or two... Is that so much? Cut a scene or two with the Replacements and give us more Paladins.

As the paladins all fly to their thematically and elementally appropriate battlegrounds, I want to agree with some posts I’ve seen arguing that Pidge doesn’t just look concerned, or in the zone as the other paladins do. For at least one shot she looks sad. Troubled. Maybe I’m reaching. Probably reaching. Almost certainly reaching given the almost immediate Allura calling to Lance moment... The sequence of connecting with the lions though? And Lance protecting Veronica? Pretty much resigned to die before being saved by red...? Yeah, heavy and cool stuff.

But Admiral Asshole somehow getting in touch with Sendak? Betraying the entire planet? No. Just no. She can be a thorn in their side and an antagonist without being so utterly stupid. At this point she’s gone from concerned alternative view but essentially a good person trying to save the planet in her own way, to being pantomime levels of stupid. What a daft choice. What a needless choice. You know what would have worked better...? Sendak baiting the Paladins. It would play into his military genius archetype. He didn’t need intel from Admiral Asshole if the entire purpose of the planet killers was just bait for the paladins... We didn’t need admiral asshole to make a faustian pact with the people responsible for planetary genocide. Some of the choices this season just bewilder me. 

Well, at least no combining sequence before the Big Zapper Cannons hit. That’s something. I guess they can occasionally cut unnecessary scenes for time. 

The Paladins are asleep and it’s time for the replacement team to take centre stage again. Even with their own repeated launch sequence animation. Guess they can waste time after all. Admiral Asshole...

...yeah. Who would have thought that the mass murdering alien wasn’t to be trusted...? Except anyone written with an ounce of sense. I won’t deny, I completely and utterly lost interest during the Team Replacements moments. If you like them? Great. They were kinda written to be made valid off the back of the existing series so, I guess it worked for some, just not for me. I might even have been more keen on them myself ha they been secondary characters. But this season, they have so far felt like the focus. Yet also, they felt so undeveloped that they were like filler. They took up far too much focus that should have been on the Paladins. The characters I’ve been watching for six previous seasons. The characters I’m invested in. Even the launch of the Atlas - is it supposed to be a reference to The Gotengo in ship mode? - being powered by the Castle Crystal felt like a passing of the torch moment. There’s still a season left guys, can we wait until after this series ends maybe...?

Can we do The Paladins justice in their own series and make them the focus in their own series? Can we do the replacement team justice by making them the focus of their own series...? No? We’re going to try to do both at once and ultimately make both the worse off for it? Great, ok. Seems like a plan... SIGH

Soul-riding the lions? Now that’s a cool extension of the lore. That’s a cool new addition. That’s building more upon and actually watching Voltron again. Have I mentioned that it sometimes feels like I’m not watching Voltron any longer this season? Because, yeah, that. But during the parts where I was watching Voltron, it was great. Shame I couldn’t care more about Admiral Asshole’s sacrifice. They went beyond the pale with her outright betraying Earth. Noble sacrifice for an act of stupidity was just...meh. Didn’t feel like she’d be any additional motivation for the Paladins that earth already was. 

But damn does Shiro look good as the captain of a starship. Kudos where it’s due. The artists did a damn good job.

So, the final episodes... Great set up for a final confrontation. Yet within the first half of the first episode. Oh no. Voltron has been pinned. Oh no. The Atlas can’t do stuff. What will we do? Oh gosh I hope the new team of plucky do-gooders can save the day. Whatever would we do without them? I hope we can buy their toys soon. Stop it. Why won’t they just stop it...? Stop making them such a major focus. This isn’t their show...or yeah, maybe it is now. Maybe the Paladins are the side characters now? Sometimes it feels that way. They spent a lot of time out of commission, damaged, pinned or otherwise unable to act except in montages.

“Lance, I’m coming to help!” Yes, because Allura is just there to support and look shyly away from lion glances. Sigh. Can we have Allura who didn’t need to be defined by a love interest back please?

Then again, Shiro had some time to shine which was really appreciated. The Sendak/Shiro fight was...ok? I mean, it had a lot to live up to after the Kuron / Keith fight. And it just fell short in my opinion. And much as Keith saving Shiro is kinda the default... Given how they were building Shiro up to be the anti-Sendak, it felt like the final blow was robbed from Shiro just a little.

Then of course, we get The New Robeast. More powerful than anything they’ve dealt with before and utterly unannounced. Ok. Well at least they didn’t just go to sleep for a bit and let the new guys do everything. But they still found a way to force them in even now. Wouldn’t have shocked me at this point though if the new group had just beaten the robeast. The twin swords are cool, but sadly a Plance moment it wasn’t. Maybe it would have been in old Voltron. Formed by a stronger bond between the two. But not so much now. Just a thing that happens. Like Pidge’s new gun thing. Thing that happens. No build to it really, just happens. No lesson, no moment of clarity, no greater connection, just, happens. How does the Atlas have back up generators that can make it functional when it’s already been established the only thing that can power it is the castle crystal? It was a pretty big plot point. Until it was just forgotten about. The Atlas mech formed by Altean magic was pretty cool. Shiro has a lot of moments with Allura leading to it as well. More than she had with Lance even. I’ll come back to that. Fake out Pala-deaths was cheap. And if they only reason they put the focus on the new guys was for that fake out...? Screw that. What a waste.

Seeing Hunk and Shay reunited was nice but too brief. Nice to be wrong about Krolia, but I’m not expecting she’ll last the next season. Shock factor you see. Watching Earth change and develop in flash forwards and montage now makes me wonder why that couldn’t have happened earlier. And my answer is, probably to sell the new team. And that sucks. I’m not really looking forward to another season of the Paladins taking the back seat. I do kind of expect it though. In fact, I expect it will only get worse.

And of course, now in a mere 13 episodes we have to wrap up Lotor, Haggar, the rift creatures, any and all ships, don’t forget set up the new team, because I think there were a few subtle hints there’s a new team they want us to care about. How about that new team guys? New team! And do all that without it feeling like a giant rushed mess. Heh. Won’t hold my breath.

Overall? Season Seven as others have said for many reasons, is Voltron Legendary Disappointment. Now to be fair, the art, the music, the animation, the voice acting - even given some guff lines, kudos to Josh Keaton for making “Their very home” not sound stupid... All of that was great. All of those staff members involved? A plus, amazing. But the writing...? Oh my good gravy the writing is all over the damn place. Yes, I just write silly fanfics and they’re professionals so what do I know? Their paycheck invalidates my opinion, right? But to be frank some of the mistakes and I do mean mistakes are elementary continuity gaffs. Redundancy. Repetition. Over reliance on exposition. I mean, if this is considered professional then standards have dropped...  That’s not to say there weren’t moments of great writing. Moments where it felt like I was actually watching Voltron again rather than an advert for the new guys. But for the most part...? It was odd choice after odd choice. Daft move after daft move. Mess after mess. Forced and contrived plot point after forced and contrived plot point and if I was judging the series solely on the writing... I’d ask why nobody proofread the first draft.

But to literally everyone else involved in the show from the voice actors to the background artists to the intern fetching coffee...? You all did an amazing job with the mess you were given.

The Obligatory Over Long Shipping Bit

It’s not all about the ships, but... To some extent, it kinda is a little. Maybe even a very BIG little... At it’s most basic, a story, any narrative, has three parts.

The Beginning: The Status Quo, the ordinary world.

The Middle: A Challenge To The Status Quo, conflict, introduction of the special world.

The End: A New Status Quo, conflict resolved, special and ordinary world merge or become aligned to create a new standard.

And ships? Well, they’re an aspect of both the conflict in the middle and the New Status Quo at the end. Ships matter. The connection we feel to two or more characters and the connections they gain with each other? They matter. They are the story. So when I bang on about ships beneath, keep that in mind. Keep in mind that watching characters grow and grow closer is an integral part of narrative, romantic, platonic, whatever. Watching dynamics develop and shift between characters matters. That includes ships. And, I’m not calling the show bad because ships. The show itself is flawed, but overall still good. still very good in fact. All I want to do here is share my disappointment and frankly my confusion at the way that all the ships seem to be playing out right now.

But to start... Allurance. 

Let me say, emphatically state, that if you enjoy this ship I have no beef with you. I am not against you enjoying it. I am not trying to tell you you’re wrong. If you and I having different opinions on this is enough for you to unfollow me, then fair enough, goodbye and have fun elsewhere, no hard feelings. However, my opinion remains as it has done from the start. Whilst this could have been a solid canonical ship if things had been written differently, as it stands... I can’t support it and feel it’s the worst outcome for these two characters.

Now, I’ve seen the argument that “maybe it all happens off screen” and that I addressed in a post here. The long and the short of it, I want to see characters develop on screen rather than off screen. That is literally what I watch for. The On Screen Developments. Not off screen assumptions. On screen this season, Allura had more bonding moments with Shiro than with her supposed new love interest. Does that make sense to you? Because it doesn’t to me. Then there’s the argument that Lance’s feelings have grown and matured and changed. But honestly, on some level, if Allurance becomes canon, it feels like they haven’t. Let’s go through it on a very basic level.

Allura and Lance meet, he hits on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They work together. He continues to hit on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They keep working together. He hits on her and is jealous and possessive of anyone who even comes near her.  - Lance wants to be with her. Lance tones it down a little. Starts to be supportive. You’re the heart of Voltron etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Enter Lotor. Lance remains jealous and possessive, but plays it off to Allura as a joke. “You need a third wheel?” But to everyone else, including the mice, he makes it very very clear this makes him unhappy. - Lance wants to be with her. He makes that speech to the mice about wanting to be a better person, how he’s unworthy etc. etc. etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura finds out about this, seems less than pleased. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura breaks up with Lotor after finding out the man who changed her life is a genocidal space vampire. - Lance wants to be with her. Lance does the supportive hug scene. - Lance wants to be with her. Some stuff off screen presumably and Allura is suddenly over it. - Lance wants to be with her. Dual blushing scene, soft gazes lion scene etc. - Lance wants to be with her and suddenly Allura wants the same thing.

Now, to me at least, I never felt like Lance’s feelings for Allura changed. What changed were his tactics in pursuing that desire. The ultimate ulterior motive of wanting to be with her at no point altered. To me, that severely undermines his and Allura’s growth together. It re-frames the supportive friend hug in season six into the only possible on screen moment that she fell for him and to me that makes Allura seem weak willed, flighty and frankly weak as a character to be rushed into needing a new man so soon after Lotor. It makes Allura into the opposite of what she has been all along. It reframes Lance as being a creep who’s not being entirely honest and is just hanging on to get some Altean Action. It’s unwittingly supportive of the concept in toxic masculinity of No Doesn’t Mean No and I think that’s a dangerous message to be sending these days. We should know better. No means No, it does not and should not mean pursue them like an object you want to possess. In reality, that attitude being normalised can lead to obvious and dangerous extremes. In a story, the pursued partner loses their dramatic agency and is reduced to a prize or else wants to be possessed and is thus framed as less capable. I think the idea of Lance and Allura shifting their dynamic to “genuine romance” between  seasons and off screen is cheap. Overall, I feel it devalues both of them rather than enriching them as a ship and an end to two character arcs should. Maybe, like resurrecting Shiro / Kuron early being down to executive meddling, the same is true here? Maybe the plan was for Lance to break the mould of the stereotypical nice guy waiting in the wings? Maybe Lotor being bad was also executive meddling? Or maybe that’s just the scapegoat for the roads we missed out on? The potential lost...

Now, the weird thing is, I’ve seen the argument made that you wouldn’t say that about allurance if allura was a guy. Well...yeah I would. Because if nothing changed except Allura’s sex and/or gender but the events were otherwise identical then it would have exactly the same narrative issues. It would still be undermining both character’s growth and arcs. Chasing someone who isn’t interested is still toxic behaviour regardless of who does it to whom. But if you want to assume that I’m just saying this “because Allura’s a woman” then I guess I can’t stop you, but I hope you take my honest statement that it’s not the case as far as I’m concerned.  On the other side of this argument of well if x was y you wouldn’t z, well, that’s just you creating and answering a hypothetical question. Let’s say someone shipped, I dunno Keith and Cosmo. And the defence was “well you wouldn’t call it bestiality if cosmo was human.” And yeah, I suppose if something was changed so drastically there wouldn’t be a problem. But Cosmo is a wolf in Canon. And Allura is a woman in Canon. Maybe nobody would be saying Allurance has problematic elements if Allura was male or maybe the would. I feel that I certainly would see the issue regardless. But that argument is purely hypothetical and anyone who makes it has no way of proving it or supporting it.

There is however another issue in Canon that nobody seems willing to address. Alteans live for centuries. Centuries versus decades of lifespan. That kind of relationship will have the functionally immortal one watching the person they love ROT before their eyes. It will have them mourning their true love for CENTURIES or else callously moving on. It will, if they have or adopt kids, leave the functionally immortal one, watching their own descendants die. The functionally immortal partner will see their love reflected in their descendants eyes and faces. Forced to relive their loss generation after generation. I don’t want to contemplate that end for characters I care about. But that’s what would happen between Lance and Allura. I don’t want to think of Allura watching generations of hers and Lance’s kids and great grand kids dying like flies and thinking of her reliving that loss every hundred years or so as their next batch of descendants die in front of her. Maybe you see it as romantic? I see it as horrifying. And if the issue of Human vs. Altean ages is never dealt with on screen, I’ll assume the creators either didn’t think about it or assumed the audience wouldn’t care. Well I’m sorry, but you made characters that we love, they are part of a lore that we paid attention to. We do care and it does matter.

What I will admit is that maybe, just maybe the way I’m interpreting things isn’t what the creators intended. As much as I am a proponent of Death of the Author, I won’t disregard authorial intent. To those of you who don’t know, Death of the Author essentially states that; all media is a collaborative experience between audience and creators. That no one interpretation of a text is more valid than another. That interpretations can shift and change based on the time and context through which the text is viewed. That interpretations the author never intended are valid. Now, a lot of people seem to have this idea that “Death of The Author” means audience interpretation matters more than that of the author and completely overlook the idea of shared meaning and no one true interpretation. I’m coming at this from the point of view not that the audience owns the text but that we all, audience and author, equally share it and it’s infinite valid interpretations.

So that said, the authorial intent may well be that Lance and Allura’s relationship isn’t and was never meant to be a creepy guy being persistent. That it wasn’t meant to suggest that despite being rebuffed, he should carry on chasing. Maybe it wasn’t meant to seem like he was dishonest, swooping in after a break up to pick up the pieces. Maybe we’re supposed to ignore the ulterior motive to get into her pants that never changed from season one episode one? It may well be their intent was to show a relationship developing healthily and organically but they were rushed and it ended up feeling incomplete? But, that less positive interpretation is just not how it comes across to me and many others. Intent or not, we can only interpret what we see. We don’t hate the idea of these two characters being happy, we just feel like the way it’s portrayed so far doesn’t seem strong enough or doesn’t make it explicit enough that there has been sufficient growth and change on screen to really make us buy it. You may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. The authors may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. I disagree with those opinions and that too is perfectly valid. I don’t hate any of you for feeling the way you do or for reading the text the way you do. Everyone interprets media differently. Please do me the same courtesy and don’t hate me for my interpretation. We can both make valid points yet still disagree. There is not one true and absolute interpretation.

I suppose that leads me here. At this point, given the way that almost every ship possible has been hinted, teased, alluded to or given time onscreen... I wouldn’t be shocked if there aren’t any canonical ships by the end. Just hints. Forever hints. Because if nothing else, the Allurance shippers don’t deserve to be baited and switched. Even if I disagree with the way it’s been portrayed, even if I feel it was rushed and needed time on screen to develop, those shippers deserve a decent payoff if the show is going to tease it so damn hard and so damn obviously. The Sheith shippers have had plenty of hints as well. Kallura looks on the cards half the time. Hunay, Hunelle, Hidge/Punk all got hints at the possibility this season. Keith and Acxa, I was thinking they’d pull that as soon as Keith found her in the weblum. Plance, I may or may not have strong feelings about. Who can say? 

But given that the series so far has given so many contradictory hints, even assuming the caveat of multiple interpretations, how could anyone be happy by the end? I mean, if Plance happens and I still believe it makes the most sense for Lance and Pidge’s journeys and character arcs... Well what about the Allura / Lance dual blush moment...? The Allurance fans will ask that and rightly so. Why even include that if it isn’t going to go anywhere...? Chekov’s Gun. I can’t even deny myself that if the plan really was for Lance to move on, this would have been the season to explore that to make it feel organic. If Lance ends up moving on in the next season, then that will suddenly feel forced as well. The amount of ship baiting going on is a little frustrating. I can’t see how it could end in a satisfying way for every baited ship. So, maybe they’re just going to have nobody end up with anybody canonically? At this stage, part of me would rather have that than have my OTP confirmed in canon. Because if what has happened so far is anything to go by... I’m just going to be disappointed at it feeling rushed and artificial. Unearned and pulled out of left field at the last second. With all the build up to Allurance, whether I think it hit the mark or not, it feel like it would be cheap and rushed to have him suddenly move on in the next and last season. Plance might end up feeling not organically developed, just, info dumped into existence for time constraints. I’ve been seeing hints between Lance and Pidge since episode one. Waiting for them to change their dynamic for all that time and seeing hint after subtle hint, seeing how perfectly their two stories align. They literally and narratively complete one another. And yet, if it comes down to it that one line or one half baked scene or even one future still image in a montage at the end of the series, is the confirmation of them hooking up...? Then even I won’t feel like my ship was worth coming true in canon. I’d rather have it never come true than have it come true as badly, as forced, as potentially interpreted as toxic, as contrary to the narrative and as ultimately unsatisfying as Allurance seems to be right now. I have no issue with Allurance being the end game. I would just have wanted to see it done justice and right now... It just isn’t. Don’t agree? Ok, well...

Compare and contrast... One person in this series, Allura creates - using Alchemy - a means to be whole again. A weapon capable of overcoming a nemesis in visual dramatic parallel. Having learned Alchemy through tainted means from her Evil Ex, she’s now able to put it to physical tangible use for a new person. Not only that but she sacrifices her crown, her symbol of office, one of her last remnants of her dead home world in order to make that creation whole. She has shown this person nothing but respect and kindness otherwise.  Another person she barely interacted with aside from telling him to shut up then in the space of one episode they’re all blushy because reasons.

I’m being a little facetious, but let’s be honest.... What this shows is that Allura literally has a more meaningful and narratively significant set of interactions with SHIRO than she does with Lance this Season.  Shiro’s arm represents her turning the bad experience with Lotor to good. Her giving up her symbol of Altean Royalty shows she’s willing to sacrifice anything for him. And through that bond, she grants him the power to turn the Atlas into a giant robot. Where she created the Sincline out of a dishonest partnership, the Altas-Mecha is formed by honest...well, it looks like LOVE to me. Now I’m not saying I ship them. But if you showed me this season out of context with any of the rest of Voltron, I would be shipping Shiro with Allura even though he’s Gay. Because frankly, in the story told on screen this season that actually makes way more sense than shipping her with Lance. Even out of context, even assuming no Lotor, no previous issues, Lance and Allura being hinted just seems...out of nowhere this season.

Maybe I should just wait for the sequel series where everyone ends up with total randoms off screen that nobody is happy with? Maybe the ships that make the most sense and have been hinted at the most will be forgotten or end up with off screen unhappy marriages as some vague and irksome attempt at being “mature”. Yes, I’m still salty about Toph/Sokka as well as Kataang, what of it? Sometimes you just want the characters you have grown to love and adore to have a happy ending together. Is that too much to ask...?

So, season 8 predictions...?

After a heartwarming episode that teases Coranecker, Lotor will finally get his redemption arc. And by arc I mean, episode. There will be an entire episode devoted to info dumping how he wasn’t really a space vampire the whole time and Romelle got the wrong end of the stick. This episode will tease Lotura again as well as hinting at Hungar, Huntor, Hunlia and Huray, the Polyship of Hunk Coran and Shay. Haggar, having now established herself as the dark queen of the Quantum Abyss will send wave after wave of Altean-Robeasts at Voltron, before the series finally ends in, you guessed it, another big battle with another new big robot. There will be a “we won” montage, Sendak will somehow be resurrected or a void creature will emerge from Daibazol to set up the Big Bad for the sequel series. Maybe both. Nobody will end up with anyone and the next series and/or movie will be hinted at. We might end up with a cliffhanger to tease the sequel series. And we’ll all go away a little disappointed and a little happy all at once. Oh and Black Paladin Kaltenecker of course.

Salty semi-joking aside, at this point given how rushed the series has obviously become, I really would not be shocked if Lotor DID get a redemption plot that was dealt with in a single episode. Or a single sentence. Just like the way he was turned into a Genocidal Space Vampire in a single episode, I’m sure they can turn him into the Space Pope in a single episode. Maybe blame it all on a rift creature? Or maybe save that plot thread for the next series, given that in 13 episodes there’s no way they can cover everything they want to AND cover it as well as they want to. Or just never mention them again. It’s not like they were set up to be majorly important or anything. 

Also, if the whole of Voltron Legendary Defender is now going to be a backdoor pilot for Voltron The Garrison Guys or whatever, that seems disappointing more than exciting. Voltron Legendary Defender should be it’s own show first and a sequel should organically follow based on success or failure. If there was always a plan to have more seasons as a sequel series then...

USE THOSE EXTRA SEASONS TO GIVE THIS STORY THE ROOM IT NEEDED!!!

Make VLD the best it can be before assuming we need a sequel series at all. We wouldn’t have half the problems we have now of story lines feeling rushed if, get this the story lines had more episodes to not be rushed! We could have had more Past-Paladins. Keith’s backstory could have been explored as a full episode or two not spoon fed to us by time flashbacks. Allurance could feel less forced and artificial. Lotor’s betrayal could have been given more than a single episode info-dump. We could have actually explored Allura’s feelings and hr process of getting over one of the most important relationships in her life turning to shit. Give this story the time and space it needs to breathe and grow. Let THIS story be told in a well paced way rather than being forced to rush to hit the deadlines for the sequel series. If VLD ends up being less well received owing to bad or rushed writing, we may just end up with zero interest in the sequel series anyway. It’s self defeating!

Don’t have entire episodes devoted to characters who show up, info dump and then are mute for the rest of the season. Don’t have entire plot threads be rushed and resolved in time less than they deserve! And if you can’t do that...

THEN TRIM THE FAT!!!

We can probably all point to a bit that felt “rushed” or “forced” or “out of left field” and that all comes down to a single fact. So far, there has been far too much story to tell in far too few episodes. So certain plot threads end up suffering as a result. Not being fully realised. Not being given anything more than flashbacks and montages rather than full episodes examining in greater emotional depth and deeper narrative exploration.

I would rather see a simple story well told than a complex story rushed for time. What we seem to get in seasons 6+ of Voltron are attempts to tell the entire story they wanted but being forced to cut it short for time. Sadly, what would have been better than telling the full story badly would be telling as much of it as you can save well and discarding the rest. Maybe that’s already happened? Wouldn’t shock me.

Lotor deserved better. Allurance if it becomes canon, deserved to have been built upon to make it seem more deserved, less creepy nice guy. Allura deserved to have on screen time to adapt, grieve and move on from Lotor. Matt could have had time to develop his relationship on screen. Plance if it becomes canon deserves time to shine, because for many fans out there if it does becomes canon in season 8 then for them it will seem rushed, sudden, forced. Or worse, Pidge will always seem like Lance’s backup girl... As Said before, even me as a hardcore Plance Shipper feels like it can’t possibly be given the time it deserves to feel earned when we have just one season left to tie it all together....  So again, maybe all they can do at this stage is shrug and only ever give hints as to whom ends up with whom in this massive cast...? And then just spew out the sequel series. Because we gotta sell those new toys.

I cared and invested in the VLD characters. I wanted their story to be their story and not just a vehicle to sell the next series that, to be honest, I’m probably not going to be remotely interested in.

The Salt Floweth To An End

There is SO much potential in VLD that was squandered by things being rushed, compacted, cut and yet also being massively bloated despite this. Then there’s the obvious executive meddling that can’t have helped for a second... It just ends up making everything messy and unfocused. This season was a mess. Entertaining, yes, compelling, yes and damn good overall but with so many moments that just hit shy of the mark the creators obviously were aiming for. Almost all of it down to the writing. Because the animators, musicians, actors and all the other cast and crew did an amazing job. But the writing was...just a totally confused mess.

Overall, it ends up being Great rather than Exceptional which breaks my heart. Because the first 5 seasons? Exceptional. Every aspect. Especially the writing. But from Six onward? Everything seems to just crack and fray around the edges, the polish wears thin and the whole thing feels just slightly less like everyone involved gave 100%. Maybe a solid 90%, and some still went above and beyond... But things, in my opinion, shifted. Sometimes in service of “surprises” and sometimes just because they needed to rush. Whatever the case, it feels like somewhere along the line the writers stopped caring as much. If at all. Will I watch season 8? Sure. But I’ll always know it could have been so much more if they’d been given more time and more room to let the story flourish. At this point I doubt it’s possible given the already obvious lack of focus in the writing, that we’ll see every plot thread tied up to satisfaction. I’m not even going to kid myself that they’ll do it all well because that’s just not going to happen. I’ll be shocked if they manage it at all. Frankly I’ll be shocked if the last season doesn’t focus more on the new team again... I am not looking forward. It feels like a chore now. Will I watch the sequel series if there is one. No. Probably not.  I wanted Voltron Legendary Defender to be given all the time it needed to be exceptional. I didn’t want to watch an advert for the next series and the next group of characters and toys. Especially if we’ll just end up seeing them all wasted, rushed and never allowed to live up to their potential as well. I was invested in VLD and it sucks that my investment is used as a marketing ploy for a potential new show before being discarded. Ah well. There’s always fanfics I guess... Though even that tastes a little bitter now... Like I'm just another part of the Voltron Hype Machine and not even getting paid to do it... Sucks and it taints what I plan to do and what I already have done... I do want to continue supporting the show and the ship I love along with all the fans out there in The Garden, but right now... I’m left feeling so conflicted. In two minds about how much I enjoy this show and yet despite that, how often and how glaring some of the errors, missteps and plain crazy choices they seem to be making along the way... It’s hard to feel 100% positive, but I did make this post and I stand by it. If the Voltron writers won’t give us the reality that makes the most sense? We make it ourselves. I did make these three posts and I stand by all of them as well. Even now as it seems like the writer’s minds are falling apart like chunks of wet cake, I still maintain that Plance makes the most sense in the story for those two characters I loved. Will it still make sense at the end of the series? Honestly, yeah. I’m sure it will still make more sense than whatever the writers eventually decide to churn out. Here’s hoping Season 8 is...something...

[kitten1618x]

GoT Afterthoughts 7x06 Beyond the Wall (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

Hello lovelies ... apologies for the delay! As most of you know, my Marine was home briefly. ❤️ 

 We begin our episode with the war room map/table in Dragonstone and a fire crackling in the background -ominous foreshadowing? We then join Jon and the boys hiking through the winter wonderland. Tormund being Tormund pokes Gendry for some fun, before the talk with Jon takes a more serious turn. He asks about the Dragon Queen, and Jon tells him that she'll only help if he bends the knee. Tormund tells Jon he's spent too much time with the freefolk and now he doesn't like kneeling. 

 Now, what Tormund said next admittedly confused me (and I'm paraphrasing): "Mance was a great man, a proud man, but how many of his people died for his pride?" To my knowledge it was Mance himself who died because he refused to kneel -not the freefolk? Were Wildlings slaughtered off-screen unbeknownst to us? I'm not being facetious -if I'm wrong in my confusion, someone please correct me. Otherwise, what we have here is a plot hole -almost like Tormund giving Jon a reason to kneel, to not be like Mance and not put his family and people in peril over his pride. I'm not ready to bag on the writing just yet, but this is a blatant inconsistency -just sayin'.... 

 But moving on ... Gendry airs his grievances with the brotherhood and the Hound tells him to suck it up buttercup and that's that for now. We are then brought to Jon and Jorah speaking not of Dany (which, ya know -would make sense since this whole "epic romance" plot and all) but instead, they are bonding over their fallen fathers. 

 Jon: “my father was the most honorable man I've ever met, he was good all the way through, and he died on the executioners block.” (We'll come back to this). 

Honorable Ned's son, honorable Jon takes off Longclaw and offers it to Jorah. Jorah insists that Jon keep it, deeming himself unworthy. 

 Jorah: “It's yours. May it serve you well, and your children after you.”

Cue WINTERFELL music and a pensive looking Jon. Contemplating your future children, Jon? Imagining their red hair and curls? Tully and Stark looking? Okay, I'll stop now -but come on guys -what an Easter egg! And right from there we jump to Winterfell (SURPRISE) and Jon's future wife (and mother of his children).

Our lovely Stark sisters are in the traditional Stark spot upon the battlements. Arya tells a heartwarming tale of Ned catching her practicing archery and clapping when she finally hit the bullseye. It was sweet, and lovely, and everything I'd been praying for for weeks, but then the accusations fly and all is lost. Arya has the letter that Cersei made Sansa pen to Robb. Sansa is naturally upset about this and defends herself with the truth: they made her write it (even Robb knew that when he read it, geez Arya come on -It's not like you did/didn't do things, too!). Does everyone remember when she was Tywin's cupbearer? Because I do. 

 I don't blame either of my precious angels for what they did/didn't do to survive as scared, isolated and traumatized little girls -and dammit, they shouldn't either! But more on this later .... 

 Now, I don't like what they made Sansa say about Arya "should be on her knees thanking her" -it's not that she isn't right about the part she played in re-taking Winterfell, but THAT was definitely some shitty writing. 

 We flash back to our boys, and Tormund is attempting to bond with the Hound. Aside from being some of the best comic relief this show has delivered in a long time, I'm becoming sweet on Tormund x Brienne. Stop me! I love Brienne x Jamie too much! I'm trash! Someone just wheel me out to the alley and light my ass on fire! 

We got a nice little callback to Ygritte and naturally Sansa too -because "Gingers are beautiful, they're kissed by fire". More on this later, too ..... 

 We switch over to Beric and Jon first discussing how much Jon apparently doesn't resemble Ned (sure Jan) and then the creepy religion (again, burning children is bad, guys -I'm with Varys on this religion). Jon doesn't serve the Lord of Light, he serves ONLY the North. They do seem to agree on one thing: they are protectors, and Jon recites some of his Nights Watch vows: "I am the shield that guards the realms of men." More on this later .... (Are you guys picking up a theme here yet? Let's see if you figure it out before I get to the end of this post). 😉 

 After the Hound points them towards the mountain he saw in his vision, we go to Dragonstone where Dany decides to compliment Tyrion by insulting him? lol What she likes about him is that he's not a hero -heroes are stupid with their constant pissing contests (she's not wrong) -except I'm not sure I'd consider Daario or Drogo heroes? Tyrion points out that all these brave men have fallen for her -including Jon Snow, because apparently unbeknownst to US the actual viewers, he's been oogling her ....?? Daenerys denies it, but you can tell by her body language that this pleases her. But -"he's too little for her" ???? What does that even mean? 

Honestly, I can't figure out my Little Lion this season and it's kind of pissing me off. Is he cracked out on Dragon love too? Or is he being clever and playing the game? Varys did say he needed to find a way to make her listen. Does Tyrion think Jon can influence her? And where the hell is Varys, by the way? 

Dany brings up the upcoming meeting and her impulsive temper comes up -and the Tarlys (expect them to come up again in the near future too, guys). Tyrion warns her about ruling with fear and then the convo shifts to the subject of Dany's mortality and her line of succession. Dany jumps into serious angry paranoia mode (Targ trait) and flings accusations of Tyrion's loyalty at him again. Look -I fully understand that this is a touchy (and rightly so) subject for Dany, but I don't think he's in the wrong here -the line of succession is important to any monarch, and especially one that intends to ride into battle. But ...not today Tyrion, not today. 

We jump back over the wall, and now the boys are traipsing through blizzard-like conditions. Is it still the same day? Has night fallen, or is it just dark due to the snow storm? Ugh, this episode is leaving me with more questions than answers! They spot, and are spotted by an undead bear, and a few redshirt Wildlings are taken out. Thoros and Beric light the sonofabitch on fire, Tormund whacks it with his battle axe -I mean, this damn thing takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin', and ends up with Thoros in its mouth, before Jorah takes it out with a dagger (assuming it was dragon glass?). A chug of alcohol and a cauterizing of the wound, and he's miraculously up on his feet and ready to continue. 

On a side note: poor precious hound and his fire PTSD. 😔 Cant wait for Clegane bowl -hope it ends with fire and Sandor conquering his fear while exacting his revenge. 

And now we're back in Winterfell, and a distressed Sansa is confiding in Little Finger. If ya'll didn't pick up that she was sniffing him out, then I just can't help you. Sansa doesn't trust him. I strongly suspect she knows that letter turned up because of him. I'm 99% confident she was jugging him for info .... 

Sansa is nervous about the letter, though -rightly so, because if the lords see it, they may withdraw their support -BUT she isn't worried for herself, she's worried for Jon and keeping his army (amassed to 20k now -when did that happen? Go Sansa!) -so wake up and suck a fat one, Sansa haters! Don't you guys get it yet?!?! Sansa is loyal to Jon -shit, even Little Finger gets it. Why do you think he's so bent on sewing discourse between the sisters, now? Because all his attempts to drive a wedge between Jon and Sansa have failed! 

We return to the winter wonderland, and now it's Jorah/Thoros bonding time. I'm sorry that I don't care enough to repeat their exchange -it wasn't exactly riveting, and I pretty much knew that it was his "death knell". Anyone else getting whiplash from all this back and forth? 

Upon their climb, they hear the clinking of an undead scouting party. Interesting .... they send scouting parties ahead? The NK and his Generals are pretty smart. Which caused something to pop into my head: are Gilly's brothers the NK's Generals? But back to the action ... they start a fire to lure them in and ambush them. Jon kills the General and all but one of the wights fall. Aside from the convenience of all but the one they need falling, this is also interesting. If they take out the generals who raised them, the wights will automatically fall -so if the NK is taken out, then his entire army would perish! Hmmm ... 

So, my dudes tackle Bones and he lets out an ear piercing screech, which apparently alerts the others (hmmm -they communicate, too?). With an avalanche of the undead rolling down upon them at high speeds, they collectively shit their pants while hogtying Bones, and Jon orders Gendry to run for Eastwatch and get a Raven to Dany, declaring that he's "the fastest". Well, this is all well and good, but please explain to me just exactly HOW Jon knows this? Because I didn't know Gendry was fast ...did you? And not only do they send this poor kid who's never even seen snow before, off into the arctic wilds by his lonesome, entrusting his supposed internal GPS (I guess???), but they take his freaking weapon so he has no means to defend himself, to boot! 

And off he goes, while Jon and the crew race for shelter and find themselves standing over the weak ice of a frozen pond/lake. With no other place to go but forward, they take their chances and make for the rock in the middle, as the dead close in on them and after grabbing a few more redshirt Wildlings, the wights break the weakened ice and begin falling into icy water, creating a barrier and a trap for our boys. Winded, but alive, they freeze their tushes off, as night falls and an exhausted Gendry collapses before the gate of Eastwatch. Daddy Davos comes to cradle on of his fostered sons as Gendry breathlessly pleas to send a Raven. 

It's morning on the rock, and our dudes have snuggled to keep warm overnight. The Hound rouses from his comfy Jon Snow pillow to kick the grumbling Bones, who's probably just salty that he didn't get invited to the slumber party. Sandor gives him a good morning kick in the ribs, and when Bones squeals in displeasure, so do some of the wights surrounding them. Another clue of their links? 

Unfortunately, Thoros hasn't made it through the night. They burn his body and Beric says the creepy Lord of Light's prayer. I hope someone had the good sense to take his flaming sword first, but I doubt it, because while I love my boys -they aren't exactly clever ...they did go on a wight hunt, after all. 🙄 

Jorah and Jon discuss the connection and Jorah suggests trying to take out the WW's as their best chance of survival. Jon says no, they need to take that thing (Bones) back with them and a Raven is on its way to Dany -she's their only chance. I suppose she has the same magic GPS as Gendry. 😳 Beric joins them and counters that argument with just taking out the NK -he turned them all after all ...kill him and they all fall. 

Now, Jon puzzles me here. His reply to Beric's suggestion is: "You don't understand." 

What Jon? What don't we understand, baby?? Tell us!!!! Is Jon suddenly afraid of his own mortality? I don't think so, but then -what don't we understand?????? 

*screaming internally* 

Beric counters with how the lord brought them both back and maybe this is why. I'm not sure what Jon's thinking while his chest heaves and he eye fucks the NK -but .... perhaps he really is afraid? Maybe of failing and being forced to rise and fight on the NK's side? Suggestions are welcome here .... really. 

We jump back to Winterfell and Sansa has received an invite to KL. So, who sent this invite? Sansa refuses to go -and is certainly justified considering .... She intends to send Brienne in her stead, but Brienne is uncomfortable leaving Sansa unprotected because of Little Finger. She requests to at least leave Podrick behind, but Sansa denies her request, and after trying several times to politely put her off, she finally rudely dismisses her. Now, I have no doubt that Sansa is truly frightened to go to KL because of Cersei, but I also think that she specifically chose Brienne to represent her -not only because she trusts her to represent her interests, but also because of what Little Finger implied earlier -about Brienne intervening with Arya if necessary. I'd like to think that Sansa is not only protecting her little sister, but also Brienne's honor of having to side with one of the sisters should things get ugly. (They won't, trust me). 

We flip over to Dragonstone and Tyrion tries to convince Dany not to run off to the rescue, but (thankfully), she doesn't listen. She mounts Drogon and off to the rescue her and her lizard babies go! 

We're back at the boulder now, and an apparently bored Sandor is throwing rocks at the "cunt" wights. Not that I blame him, but we all knew where this was going, right? The ice has re-frozen and slowly, the dead advance on them again. This shit was really unbelievable, tbh. With the sheer amount of wights surrounding them, they should have been swarmed, but somehow manage to keep most of them at bay. Jon yells "fall back" (to where????) as Tormund gets grabbed and, oh my heart!!!! I swear I had a mini stroke! But thankfully, Sandor grabs him just in time (he knows he fucking LOVES fire kissed Gingers, okay?)!

And just when it seems that all is lost, Dany and lizard puppies arrive to fuck shit up!! Okay, despite their destruction to actual human life a few weeks ago -this was beautiful and visually very satisfying! This is what the dragons are for! They take out a good chunk of the NK's army -which is WHY I assume he targets the dragon still flying overhead and raining down hellfire on his army, rather than Drogon who was chilling while they all saddled up. I mean, it's just a guess, but it's truly the ONLY logical explanation I could come up with. 😐 

Dany reaches immediately for Jon, but a wight charges, and Jon turns to dispatch it, as well as a few of its comrades while the others climb atop Drogon. You know, Jon being the hero he was accused of earlier in the episode? The NK marches forward and takes aim at Viserion -who is still fucking up his army (as I mentioned above, and why I think he may have targeted him), as Jon continues to blindly fight the wights instead of climbing his dumbass on the fucking dragon! Why? So it can be HIS fault for what happens next, of course! 

I legit cried when Viserion died. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I don't give a shit! It was heartbreaking, to watch him plummet from the sky and crash into the lake, his eye drifting closed as he slipped below the ice ... and personally, I think Dany's facial expression nailed it: gut wrenching shock. As a mother, my heart broke for her, even though I know that the dragons future demise is necessary. 

An angry Jon charges right towards the NK for a standoff, as if he took Beric's words to heart and was prepared to sacrifice himself right then and there to kill the NK and save the whole damn world! But the NK doesn't want to scrap -instead, he reaches for another ice spear, and Jon seeing that he intends to take out another dragon, screams for them to go. 

He turns to sprint for Drogon (I guess? Because Drogon had already begun to take off?) but he's tackled by wights and dragged into the icy water. The group hauls ass into the air as an ice spear whizzes towards them, but Drogon avoids it and almost sends Jorah to an early grave. Dany glances back for any sight of Jon as Drogon flies them to safety. 

After the dragons fly off, the NK and his army nonchalantly shuffle on as if nothing happened. We get a shot of Longclaw by the ice hole and suddenly Jon lunges out of the water and uses its hilt to drag himself out of the icy lake. Soaked and frozen and probably figuring this is the end, he raises his sword to go out fighting and uncle Benjen drops in to save the day! He hauls a popsicle Jon onto his undead? horse and tells him to ride for the pass, declining Jon's offer to come with him and telling him "there's no time". Now -I've seen this part criticized, and I get it, I do -except what is Benjen supposed to do? He can't pass the wall -he's dead too. Guess he figured it best to go out fighting then endless undead loneliness. Maybe he figured he had no more dumbass nephews to save from beyond the wall anymore? Whatever the case, it was sad to see yet another Stark perish -even if he was technically already dead. 

We're back at Eastwatch now, and the Hound is dumping Bones in a dingy, as Beric says farewell and they'll meet again. The Hound says he fucking hopes not, but I don't think he means it. 😉 Atop the wall, Dany gazes forlornly at the landscape below, as Jorah tells her it's time to go (and calls her "Your Grace", and not Khaleesi? Since when?). As she turns to leave, the horn blows and Benjen's horse comes into view (and where have I seen this scene before?) only this time, WITH a rider. Hey -how the fuck did he get his horse back, anyway?

The Targ ship unfurls its sails, and we're in Jon's cabin as Davos literally peels the frozen furs from his trembling body, and sweet mary mother of God, Kit's abs! 😍 As Jon freezes to death, I'm just praying that Davos continues with his disrobing of Jon (and the camera follows), but nope ... 😔 Dany watches from the doorway with a mixture of worry, awe and since she's only human, probably lust (I feel you girl, I really do). On a serious note: she's privy to all those horrid scars that were never stitched and are still literal almost gaping gashes in his chest -and one directly over his heart. I bet Davos' words are ringing in her ears again. 

After that gratuitous abs scene, we head back to Winterfell, where Sansa is snooping through Arya's room -probably looking for the letter. Instead, she stumbles onto Arya's face collection. WTF! Naturally, Arya catches her snooping, and begins to terrify Sansa, and myself collectively, with some creepy dialogue that rings as an ominous threat -except, well ... let's break this down a bit. She is sharing some of her past. She wants to play the Game of Faces, but Sansa is not having any of this shit.

I'm pretty sure that Arya drops a MAJOR foreshadowing bomb here: "We both wanted to be other people when we were younger. You wanted to be a queen, sitting next to a handsome king on the iron throne and I wanted to be a knight riding off to battle." 

Okay, back to the terrifying conversation... Arya: "With the faces, I can become someone else, live in their skin, speak in their voice. I can even become you ..."

*she picks up the catspaw dagger and steps closer to Sansa* 

 (With the dagger in her hand): "I wonder what it would feel like, wearing those pretty dresses, to be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face."

 *she flips the dagger and hands it to Sansa HILT first* 

 When Sansa takes the dagger, Arya casually turns and leaves the room.

ARYA WAS PLAYING THE GAME OF FACES. Yes, it's shitty, and she gave her sister a mini stroke, but here's the thing: I believe they are BOTH playing Little Finger separately -to protect one another AND Jon, they just don't realize that the other is doing it yet. I'm fully confident that either Bran is going to sit our Starklings down, or they're going to figure it out on their own. And speaking of Bran, where the hell is he? Is he off with Varys? WTH?! 

Okay, and we're finally at the scene that y'all were dreading .... Jon's eyes drift open to a teary-eyed Dany who's relieved to see him wake. Immediately, he apologizes for her loss. She shakes her head and lowers it to hide her tears (probably trying not to make him feel worse), and Jon reaches for her hand. He tells her he wishes he could take it back and that they'd never gone. Dany shakes her head again and disengages her hand. She disagrees -she needed to see to understand. 

She tells him that the dragons are her children -the only children she'll ever have, and asks him if he understands what she's trying to convey. Jon shakes his head yes, as Dany vehemently professes her support in helping Jon defeat the NK. 

Now, I received an ask earlier last week when this episode leaked, about whether I thought Dany was doing this only for vengeance -and certainly, that does factor into her decision, I'm sure. And I don't fault her one fucking bit, tbh. I'm a mother -if you hurt my kids, I'm coming straight for you -why do you think the term "mama grizzly" was coined? But, on the other hand -she's now seen this horrific undead army, and what they are capable of. As someone who freed slaves, it only makes sense that she'd want to help make sure that humanity is not enslaved by the NK and the dead. This is WHY Dany is here, you guys. Not to be queen. Not to be Jon's wife. But to help save humanity with her fire-made flesh dragons, and die in a very messianic way -as such has been the arc they built her character upon. 

Jon immediately thanks her, and calls her Dany. She's taken aback -and explains that no one has called her that in a very long time. She brings up Viserys and in a roundabout way, says he was a dick, as to which Jon replies: "alright, not Dany. How about my queen? I'd bend the knee, but ..." he nods his head towards his injured state, as Dany asks about the people who've sworn allegiance to him (because she suddenly cares about that now?) and Jon says (and like I TOLD YOU ALL LAST WEEK when I watched this leaked scene, how very important and almost foreboding his words are): "They'll come to see you for what you are." 

WHAT YOU ARE. Not who you are. Not how caring you are. Not anything other than ambiguously WEIRD: what you are!!! 

Dany is still touched by this seemingly heartfelt declaration, and with more tears welling in her eyes, grasps his hand and proclaims that she hopes she deserves it, and Jon reassures her that she does. After some silent eye contact, she pulls her hand free from his grasp and tells him to get some rest. 

He obliges and closes his eyes, and then when she leaves the room, his eyes reopen and he looks -guilty? As he releases what sounds like an exasperated sigh. 

And finally, we end the night with the dead dragging Viserion from the icy depths with some heavy duty chains, and the NK reanimates him. Okay, I just have to say how fucking stupid that is. Where did these massive chains come from? Why didn't he just raise his arms and raise Viserion like he did the Wildlings at Hardhome? It would have been a lot cooler if he came lunging out of the water all blue eyed, rather than be dragged up with chains. Ugh whatever! 

Okay, so for a penultimate episode, I'm not majorly impressed, but I didn't hate it.

So, some things we need to go back and touch on (as noted throughout). Have you all figured out where I was going with it? Yes? No? 

Okay - SO MANY CALLBACKS TO THE NIGHTS WATCH HERE, GUYS! 

We got Ygritte callbacks with "Gingers are kissed by fire". We got the Jon/Beric convo which was kind of reminiscent of Half Hand/Jon's convo when they were with the Wildling's as prisoners, and Jon even recited a piece of his Nights Watch vows! We've got Tormund bringing up Mance, and his refusal to kneel AND we've got an almost replicated scene (horn blowing and all) of Uncle Benjen's horse riding for the gate of the wall, only this time, WITH a rider! 

What does that remind me of? Well, a previously duplicitous undercover Jon infiltrating the Wildlings -using them to achieve his goal of getting back to Castle Black alive, to warn the Watch of the impending attack and to do his duty -hold the Wall against the Wildlings. How did he do that? By deceiving Ygritte -despite his feelings. 

Now, I'm not saying I'm right, and it's just a theory -but I truly do believe that Jon is playing Dany. BUT, I also truly believe that he does like her, and that he does really believe she has a good heart. She did just lose one of her children to save him and the crew ...  Jon's odd and ambiguous words: "They'll see you for what you are" is for our benefit -a clue to know where the story is headed. However, I do think that the fact that he actually admires and cares for her (cares, NOT loves) is making him feel pretty shitty for what he is/has to do, on top of the guilt he feels for being at fault for Viserion's death. 

It's no coincidence that he couldn't look in her eyes when he offered to bend the knee. It's also very telling that he did so when no one was around to hear/witness this. While Dany has been wearing her obvious heart eyes on her sleeve for a few episodes now, Jon has been pretty guarded, he hasn't shared ANYTHING personal, his expressions have been odd -and blank, mostly (as in this scene, as well) ... this developing "romance" has felt "off". With Dany's attraction being so blatant, I think that Jon easily picked up on her feelings for him, and he's using that -playing on those feelings, to secure an alliance. 

So why is this necessary if Dany already agreed to help him? Truth be told, I feel like Jon just doesn't fully trust her. Good heart or not, she is a stranger, he's seen her temper and how quickly she turned on Tyrion that day -this is Jon being smarter than Father (also brought up several times in the episode -as well as his honor) and Robb -who ironically was also brought up in this episode by way of Sansa's letter! 

Addressing the weirdness of Jon calling Dany, "Dany"? I believe this was to assert a familial tie -in the same episode where her brother was brought up, and ironically, the dragon that died, was named for. They are reminding us they're actually FAMILY (incase we forgot) because of what's going next episode, y'all. They want us to be kind of squicked out when it happens. 

All the mentions of Dany's inability to conceive? Well, for two reasons, really- to hit us (and Jon) over the head with the fact that Dany can't get pregnant, so boatbang can happen, basically -and Mr. "doesn't want to sire a bastard", feels confident to hang up his vow of celibacy if there's no shot of getting Dany pregnant. And also, for all of our tongues to be wagging about "oh no, could their be a magic Targ baby"? like many have been. A red herring for the red herring, anyone? A baby requires a time jump -a time jump cannot happen -the dead are literally KNOCKING on the Wall. If you've got a logical explanation for me -let's have it. And yes, I've heard the shadow baby theory, and while I think it's uber cool, I'm not really onboard with it -who would it kill, as that is their purpose?

Also -the NK and his Generals are impervious to fire -unlike the wights. But -will dragon glass and Valaryian steel kill the NK? I'm starting to doubt that ... 

 And before I sign off on this, I wanted to address one more thing (that I specifically looked for in my re-watch) -the mention I saw floating around here, of the Wolf eyes on Longclaws hilt opening as Jon emerged from the frozen lake -it did look like that, but it was just a shadow-a trick of the light, if you go back and watch it. 😉 

 Thanks for tuning in again. See you next week for my final recap of the season. And FYI: my kiddos start school the next day, so I can't stay up til 2 am recapping -my recap will be posted on Monday, instead. ✌🏻

[literaryclubiiti]

Growling Shriek(s)

DISCLAIMER: This is an admittedly light-hearted conversation about the trends of our most beloved IIT Indore between two not entirely happy-go-lucky stalwarts about to graduate. Following the tradition, this can be considered as a whole-hearted, but nonetheless well-intentioned rant. Reader discretion is highly advised.

By Amey Ambade and Ashish Bharatwal

(SCENE 1: SILVER MESS)

(It’s about noon on a Saturday in March. Amey is sitting on the wildly recognizable red chair, steel plate on the beige table, as ‘Tip Tip Barsa Pani’ plays loudly on the TV, almost in sync with the water dripping off the water filter behind him. He dons a grin as Ashish joins him, visibly frustrated.)

Amey: Dude, what’s up with your mess refund?

Ashish: Motherfuckers. They should be drowned in their own broth.

(Murderous glances from judgemental postgrads across the table)

Amey (unconcerned) : Hard luck, eh? What did you expect, though? Four years on, they’d understand why you dislike them? Didn’t you get to fill a pointless form to get something out of it?

Ashish: It’s not the first time I am getting the short end of the stick in IITI.

Amey: Not the first time you’ve said that.

Ashish (smiling) : Not the first time you’ve said that. You tend to be able to predict each other’s moves after this long a swim in the shitpool as comrades.

(Random Mess Guy comes up: ‘Bhiyaa, mess fees pay kar di na?’ They look at him disapprovingly, and taking the hint, he promptly disappears.)

Amey (doubtfully breaking a piece off a roti with bare hands) : Amen to that, brother. Chal, aaj khane mein kaunsi insect species ki discovery hogi dekhte hain. Talking of insect species, what’s up with E-Blockers suddenly hitting the gym?

Ashish: Well, whaddya know? Trying their best to feel good about themselves before leaving; what were they even doing the last four years, haha!

Amey: Ah well. You know and I know. Now that everyone else is in Simrol, I don’t know what eyeballs you speak of. I give the fad a month to drop off. We clearly couldn’t give two shits.

Ashish (chuckling with disgust) : Especially now.BTW, speaking of shits, look at this - Lauki Ke Kofte. BC’s trademarked turd-sized dumplings® are turning out to be a favorite of those who haunt the Jain food counter. Tatti khaaye par pyaaz na khaaye.  

Amey (proud to not have made the unfortunate sabzi choice) : Chuck that, chal Fresco chalte hain, Snickers pe fir se PayTM cashback aaya hai.

Ashish: Yeah, I have to get a couple of photocopies too. These B-schools! Why do they even have CAT if that is just meant to be a ‘Fuck you!’ to mediocrity?

(They leave the mess, their untouched food-laden plates still on the table. The freshness outside is liberating, it’s like getting out of a green fart convention.)

Amey (finally inhaling air) : Perceived mediocrity… Thodi toh political correctness chahiye, bhai. But yes, I agree. I’ve been swamped with my MS applications lately, and they are equally exhausting. Thinking about our lives after graduation is perhaps more frustrating than trying to maintain a straight face when Batra talks. Add to that the lifelong terror that we will take away from boarding harmfully yellow buses, and lo, you have the recipe for a migraine.

(They reach Fresco, and scan through the hastily placed products. Amey discreetly picks up a Zandu Balm)

Ashish: Remember when as freshmen we were singing at the top of our lungs the lewd version of ‘Chahun Main Ya Na’ and didn’t give two shits when we noticed a furious Batra peering over us ominously from the half-open door? Ah, I miss those careless times.

Amey: And the countless number of times we partied with complete disregard for the neighbors or Digant? It helped that we had no immediate neighbors, aur guards to apne jigri thhey. But with no authorities to piss off now that everyone except us is thankfully in Simrol, it’s like, hum kiske dimag ko shot de ab?

(They’ve collectively picked up stuff worth 150 bucks but will pay only a hundred because subsidy.)

Ashish (showing his phone screen) : Hey, look at this article in ToI: Fluxus event winners haven’t received their prize money. This one guy says IITI owes him fucking 10k. Much ado about Fluxus every year. The only ones happy are the OCs, until last year, right? From what goes around in the campus, they reported earnings of 3000 from Sunidhi’s concert, and an attendance of 3000 in the media. What an absolute load of crap?! 70 lakh mein toh teen decent Fluxus ho jaayenge BC.

(They’re walking, surrounded by the white buildings with eerily jail-like black railings that have defined their time in Silver Springs. Now that Silver isn’t infested with overexcited juniors, final years are loitering in the quaint streets.)

Amey: I still stand by my idea to only have an e-Fluxus to save the money and the Kejru-level shaming.

Ashish: Haha, if only you knew e-Fluxus actually happened this year. We had a middling singer Shirley Setia adorning the terrains of Simrol. I also heard Aditi Agrawal was their second choice, now that she has her own YouTube channel. Way to go!

(They get to the lift, sharing it with the classically unconcerned 4th floor wali aunty as they hear the dulcet voice on loop, touting “Please. Close. The Door. Krupaya. Darwaza. Band. Karein.” Somewhere, Hodor’s soul is shedding a single heavenly tear.)

Amey: The terrains of Simrol! There’s some places in our new campus that look like scenes from True Grit, Blazing Saddles and Mad Max were filmed there. I could swear the dust twisters could effectively upend an unsuspecting Simmi and Avnish holding three Cormens each. Avnish will probably be ecstatic about that, too.

Ashish: It’s miraculous how so few cases of asthma have popped up given the dust bowl Simrol is and the number of students cooped up in there. We are a resilient lot, I must say.  

(They get out of the lift on the famous 3rd floor and enter D-314.)

(SCENE 2: ROOM)

Amey: We’re wasting an entire sunny afternoon for my bloody transcripts. ( He pauses to check a news notification on the antics of a certain orange unhinged toddler-psychopath.) You have to agree, though, with all the negatives aside, isn’t it actually pretty convenient to navigate around the half-built pods in pyjamas?

(They change in a minute, time is important here, and Amey reaches for his shoes. There’s no way he’s going into the arid Wild West in flip-flops. Ashish checks the bus schedule on his phone. They have bus schedules, for fuck’s sake, doesn’t that say a lot by itself?)

Ashish: Yes, but that doesn’t outweigh having no good food, good booze and good company in a ten-kilometer radius, does it? Taste Butts? Screw you, Rohan Rathore.

Amey (disapprovingly) : No cash, only college Smart Cards accepted. And you have to try the infamous Chicken Fried Rice. Nothing screams appetizing as half-cooked rice with boiled chicken bits and spring onions sprinkled on top to emphasize the near non-existent efforts that went into serving it. Maybe if our batch was shifted to the forsaken place too, we wouldn’t have had such a pessimistic opinion. Maybe angoor khatte hain.

(Both take a minute to check if they haven’t forgotten their ID cards and proceed to exit the building. ID cards hold more importance in the Simrol campus than platinum credit cards.)

Ashish: But then I wouldn’t have been able to go to TIME for classes twice a day at ungainly hours. (Phone pings) Iss Utkarsh Kumar Singh ko chayn nahin hai. And then there’s the IIT Indore Discussions and Complaints and Grievances and Suggestions and Repercussions and Discombobulations and Fornications page. People have no chill, this Gymkhana has no chill. Which is a good thing, actually. This one tried its best to make things right. The Constitution was a pretty good move.

Amey: Yeah, they tried to right some wrongs. Avadhesh is hands-down the most proactive Gymkhana President I have seen, especially in regard to being responsive. Can’t say the same about the vigilants-in-their-own-right juniors who were more concerned about lengthening the mail threads with their bull than making their contribution count. The juniors really get on my nerves sometimes.

Ashish: Sometimes? Hah. What have the Quiz and Literary Clubs been up to? I count one… two… three… Three events in the last year, both our clubs combined - no aggressive, only passive, these runts. I’m pretty sure we left the clubs on high notes, but the future for these exclusive groups of students seemingly aspiring just for PoRs is obscure at best. The clubs are almost decrepit now, but the enthusiasm to forward mails from other institutes’ fests has not dwindled a bit.

Amey: Our work defined these clubs, but I agree, lately, confusion seems to have taken them to a standstill.

(They board the dangerously yellow bus after a 10-mile walk)

(SCENE 3: FREAKISHLY YELLOW BUS)

(Amey proceeds to sit on the right side of the bus. Arey naive child.)

Ashish: Bhai, uss taraf dhoop aayegi.  

(They sit on the double-seat and share a headphone. Ashish bangs ‘Another Day of Sun’)

Ashish: I can listen to the ‘La La Land’ soundtrack on end. This and Abusive Aunty Mix and Chodu Singham...  Did you know they caught a third guy for downloading umpteen gigs of porn @36MBps in Simrol?

Amey: Kya?! Yeh kaise hua bhai? That poor pervert.

Ashish: The IT guys can obviously track you in the new hostels. The surprising thing here is, they cared enough. They ALWAYS care when it comes to the quotidian aspects of student life gone slightly haywire. Khaane mein keede se koi problem nahin hai, par Frooti ka payment overdue hai toh expulsion.

Amey: Well, if one guy hogs the whole network, others have to come jumping like it’s The Dawn of The Rise of The Dusk of The War for the Planet of The Apes. I remember how we used to go bat-shit crazy when someone was downloading the latest episode of Game of Thrones from our gareeb 80GB limited Airtel networks when we already had it. Some people were so goddamn serious about the bandwidth they’d become whinier than a Goth kid trying to find his eyeliner.

(The bus hasn’t started yet. CultSec boards. Bus revvs.)

Ashish: Here comes our poor sacrificial lamb. He should wear a tee that says, ‘I am Kalash and I am not a terrorist’.

Amey: Sir, I have known him since my first day at IIT Indore even though that is technically impossible, but impossible is just a word at IIT Indore and apparently everyone had such a good rapport with him so they decided to keep him 22 km away. <insert GRE words image here>

(Both chuckle and greet Kalash, who proceeds to sit behind them.)

Amey (checking phone) : Naya email. Best BTP submissions ke liye. Alag hi! BTP awards are farcical. No interdisciplinary uniformity in grading or evaluation. Two submissions from Mech and both got some prize or the other at the Symposium because of their presentation.

Ashish: Or just plain luck. Still, man. Our BTPs saw some real effort. Our many advisors deservedly became Associate Professors. It was high time, wasn’t it?

Amey: My faith in the IITI academic system is still maintained thanks to these hardworking guys. You remember how hard they had to fight to get us great courses for a Minor degree?

Ashish: The Minor program was unarguably the best decision that defined the academic policies for our batch. And the future batches too.

Amey: Personally, I’d love to see a core subject Minor for the new batches. And Abhishek Sir is the best DoSA we have had since Granny’s left Silver Springs. He’s doing a commendable job, especially given all the student shenanigans.  

Ashish: I think you discount the students’ role tad too much. Our batch has some of the best coders in the country. Utkarsh and the Shah bros are going to the ACM-ICPC World Finals, hopefully turning it into an institute tradition. Then we have prodigies like Tripathi. These guys have done a lot to promote the coding culture at IITI, if only by setting examples. Look at the placements and internship trends you and I noticed this year at the PO: we are near the top of the ladder in India as far as CS is concerned. But more focus on other branches would not do harm, would it *rant intensifies*? 

...Look at the abysmal performance by Electrical and Mechanical; for a decent salary we non-CS guys either have to learn programming and leave our core studies for the night before the exams, or go into research, or take GATE or CAT or IES or IAS or KLPDS and what-not! While we as students need to grow balls and learn how to not get swayed away by first CTCs, some push from the institute would be great.  

(Amey isn’t listening. Notwithstanding the growls and *shaking* of the bus, Amey is cozily napping.)

(The bus stops at the campus main gate after what seems like the whole length of ‘Jodha Akbar’ and ‘What’s Your Rashee?’ combined.)

Entry Gate Security Guard: Sir, ID card. (Ashish has been pretending to sleep too because guard overlook karne ki probability 80% hai and as accent-torn Deepika Padukone in xXx quotably says: he likes his odds.)

(These adamant seniors are not giving up)

Entry Gate Security Guard: ( unable to cut the bullshit, nudges Ashish) Ser! (shudder) ID.

(reluctantly pulling out his ID, Ashish mumbles under his breath.)

(The insidious dust has broken Amey’s sweet nap. He coughs as the scarily yellow bus proceeds into the vastness of the campus.)

Amey: Look, kids with donation boxes for used clothes. AVANA has consistently been on a roll. Although the sight of someone silently looming over you as you sleep, whispering ‘Thatty Rupes’ is almost as scary as the time we watched The Descent and shit ourselves simultaneously crying and laughing.

Ashish: ( in an impressive Marathi accent) Nepali Vachli bhau. Nepali Vachli. (Both share an inside joke as the bus comes to a halt. Destination reached.)

(SCENE 4: SIMROL)

Amey: ( getting down) In the end, that’s what matters. Although persisting regionalism is a good talking point for students, with all its pros and cons.

Ashish: Closely-knit antelope herds are not easy to penetrate.

Amey: Is that the first time you’ve said that? (another chuckle shared, this is getting cheesy) I don’t even remember why we came here. Oh yes. Transcripts.

(A friendly junior smiles and greets them. In contrast to the shade thrown in Simrol, cordiality is still burgeoning here.)

Amey: There are perhaps no stronger polar opposites than AVANA and SESC. I might be horribly wrong, but from what we’ve noticed, it seems like SESC has become redundant and unproductive. The startups they have been promoting either sold stationery or just took the MHRD grant for pizzas, getting bundled up in a matter of months.

(They approach the Physics Pod complete with cinderblocks to cranes and the evergreen sounds of metal hammering. )

Ashish: Yeh bik gayi hai SESC. Ab is SESC mein kuch nahin hai. Yeh saare milke humko pagal bana rahe hain m--

(Ashish stops abruptly as Professor Vishvakarma passes by, greeting them briefly.)

Amey: This guy is THE man. Our Placement Office and the IAC would never be as well-established without him. What’s up with IAC this year?

Ashish: Santosh Sir worked selflessly for both Placements and the Conclaves. Never will the student members be as happy and well-fed as we were under his rule. Haan, this year’s IAC is going to be a mish-mash effort by Rajveer - all hot air and no real content. Ah, who cares? It is anyway under a different professor now.

Amey: But you must admit, PKU sir has been a worthy successor to SKV. The Placement Office is working as a well-oiled machine thanks to him. Won’t you miss our Placement Office perks?

Ashish: Do you mean the divine morning coffees, occasional mayo sandwiches and sour-ass lemon teas or the long hours of highly productive meetings and equally unproductive bakchodi? We’ll definitely miss both.

(They get to the new Academic Office. Ashish listens to the incoherent dialogue between Amey and Rinki Ma’am, and watches her give Amey his precious transcripts.)

Amey (whispering) : Tapesh sir and Rinki ma’am have really grown on us fourth-years, haven’t they?

Ashish (whispering back) : Yeah. I used to get a cold shoulder earlier. Last time I was offered tea. I guess they understand how being seniors is difficult and that our problems begin to get more genuine as we grow through the college. Familiarity here bred sympathy, instead of contempt.

(Cut to: One hour later they leave from SS in an Uber to the city as the dangerously catchy

Swachh Bharat jingle is being heard everywhere. Pity the driver of those poor garbage trucks, people. You can only listen to so much of Kailash Kher and the Chorus Kids. Hey, Kailash Kher and the Chorus Kids sounds like a decent band name.)

(SCENE 5: INDORE CITY)

Ashish: Yahaan Johnny ke paas rok dena, bhaiya.

(They get out of the Nano and pay using PayTM because demonetization. The driver is conveniently named Ramesh. He frowns over not having received cash. Bitches.)

Amey: Where our fuckbois at?

Ashish: Dugar and Bapat are at Sam’s (free) Momos, they tell me. Diggi, Govil, Dhaivat and Avnish are having Fire Paan. Prajwal is at Nafees for biryani. Damn! His attraction to biryani is borderline sexual!  

Amey: Can you blame him? It is magnificent. Though not as magnificent as the one we had at the notorious Love Palace party. Our juniors will never experience the thrill of gatecrashing a wealthy Punjabi’s lavish food fiestas.

Ashish: That was quite a fiasco! The Curious Case of Love Palace! The slaps, the drunken brawls, the humiliation, and, in the midst of it all, the most delicious meal we have ever had, owing in large part to its absolutely undeserving our shorts, slippers and hoodies.

(For our unwitting readers, on 24th February 2014, allstudent received a mail inviting us to the housewarming celebrations of an ostentatiously built residence, the Love Palace that falls on our way to the Axis Bank ATM in Silver Springs. We turned up in full strength, especially the first years who were early to arrive and plunder and leave. Our super-seniors flocked to the open bar, exhausting it of its offerings within an hour. As it turns out, the mail was a hoax perpetrated by *insert_mysterious_name_here* and we were actually not invited. The hosts were gonna have none of that shit. What followed was some lit slapping and thrashing game from our truly Punjabi hosts, which effectively ceased all the faggotry in mere minutes. Amey and Ashish obviously escaped unscathed because they were dressed decently, which was a camouflage. The Bhatias, in the week that followed, saw the wrath of the slap-ees in the form of broken car windows and some dope graffiti. Some of the first-years got their long-overdue slaps well in advance, though.

This event was perhaps one of the most happening ones at IITI, even more than a few Fluxuses. Or is it Fluxii?)

(As they gobble up a hotdog each, they see their homies approaching and a shitstorm of banter follows)

If you’ve manage to read all of the rant above, you can flatten as you go up. The writers want you to know that despite all its flaws, IIT Indore is actually a pretty good place to be, and they cherish their years here. Ashish (rather suspiciously) knows the roll numbers and names of all the people here, and Amey knows how to ignore them. The best hostels in any IIT system, the united outcry that we so often witness (*cough* mess *cough*), a filial feeling that comes with the perk of having a small student population, and the shared respect for friends, professors, and everyone else around, definitely make our IIT Indore journey memorable.

(BONUS)

director@iiti.ac.in  : Wish you all a great life ahead, Batch of 2013–17!

lenka@iiti.ac.in : And I