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lightrivals · 5 years

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saw this post and couldn’t get it out my mind, so , why not write out such a scene amirite? this is also crossposted on ao3 if you wanna read it there!

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Finn scrambled for cover as a heaving breath filled his chest. His throat burned from the heavy inhalation of debris clouds thick with dust and torn-up concrete. The walls barricading him shook with impact from each incoming blaster shot and he closed his eyes to calm his breaths and recenter his thoughts for a quick glance around the corner. Time spent thinking about any other action than shooting was rarely provided as a soldier of the First Order, so despite the chaos found midst battle, Finn took whatever moments he could to think through a plan rather than jump head first as he had been trained and conditioned to do for the genocidal regime. He quickly learned strategy was his forte and made sure to exercise his abilities where he could. Before joining the Resistance—in Finn’s mind, his life was split between a time before the Resistance and a time after joining—Finn rarely thought about any possible chance to consider his next step in battle as more than “point-and-shoot.” The repetitive process lasted him until that fateful day on Jakku where “point-and-shoot” turned into murdering innocent civilians, a task Finn could not stomach no matter all his training with the First Order.

Blinking dust from his lashes, Finn hoisted his blaster and turned the corner to inspect the situation at hand. Poe Dameron was down the hall with perfect shooting posture, shoulders hunched just enough as he pointed his weapon left and shot his way down the corridor. Finn quickly followed as backup, his brain a year trained into following his friend’s lead on various recruitment missions gone awry. While Finn was the diplomatic leader for most missions—his story as a defected Stormtrooper built him as a prime Resistance figurehead when convincing a planet to offer fighters and pilots for the Resistance’s cause—Poe trailblazed their defensive line when a negotiation turned south. It often helped if Finn didn’t outright begin shooting; one too many times in the early weeks of their expedition, Finn accidentally made the situation worse being an ex-Stormtrooper using his gun.

In recent times, Finn the defected ‘trooper was as known as Poe Dameron, best pilot for the Resistance. Shoot outs became rare so the one he and Poe currently engaged in came with quite the surprise. Especially when Stormtroopers suddenly appeared and decided a good ambush against the top Resistance recruiters would make Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s day.

If the opportunity for a battle against Kylo Ren appeared once more, Finn would definitely mention these petulant little wayside battles and how annoying fighting his way back to a ship Poe would spend half the time flying with complaints on his tongue always turned out.

Finn shook his head to wipe a slowly growing smile off his lips as he stood shoulder to shoulder with the aforementioned complainer. No one could catch Finn saying he was truly particularly annoyed; not when the thrill of the chase brought life to his body in a way anything else rarely could, and most certainly not with Poe for a partner. Finn could get them to their ship with minimal to zero injuries and Poe could get them off the ground and in hyperspace before their enemies recovered from blaster gun stuns. The synergy between Finn and Poe convinced General Leia to let them continue their mission as a duo, or at least with little interference, so Finn could take on a few skirmishes, Kylo Ren directed or not.

“You with me, buddy?”

Finn blinked and looked over at Poe, who had a smirk on his lips that stood out against the dust smeared over his face. Finn smiled back and nodded. “Yeah. You ready to go?”

“Always, my friend.” Poe nodded his head eastward. “We have our exit here but you can probably guess we’ll have guns pointed at our heads the moment we get outside.”

Finn sighed. “We’re only a few hundred yards out from the ship though, so if we can just dodge as many as possible, we’ll make it fine.”

“I’ll cover you.”

Something in Poe’s voice struck the wrong chord in Finn. He lowered his gun just enough to signal giving Poe his full attention and frowned. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Poe scrunched his nose in distaste. “I’m not hiding anything from you, Finn; you trust me.”

“I do,” whispered Finn in a voice far too gentle for the conversation. He felt his heart leap at the confession but ignored it as he didn’t have the time to question the reaction. He belatedly noted how often he’d been ignoring that reaction for a few months now. “That’s not what I asked though.”

“I promise I’m not not telling you anything, I just...,” the brunette gave Finn an indecipherable look and then turned back in the direction of their exit. “I have a hunch. Gut feeling, you know? As much as I think we’ll have a party waiting for us on the other side, I think we also won’t. Or rather, our guests will be fashionably late and by fashionably late, I mean they’ll board our ship.”

“Aren’t we the guests to their party?”

Poe laughed and the mood between them lightened up in an instance. “You’re right but semantics are annoying.”

“This is why I’m the diplomat between us.”

“Pretty sure Leia wanted me to do all the talking when we first started this.”

Finn rolled his eyes. “You do know there’s a difference between talking to negotiate trade deals and talking to negotiate a ‘good time’.”

“They are one in the same depending on who I’m talking to, buddy.” Poe winked and Finn scoffed despite feeling blood rushing to his cheeks. Thanking the Force for his dark skin to hide his impromptu reaction to something as common as a Dameron wink, Finn turned back to their escape route with an uninterested cough.

“I’m going to head out first and you follow my lead exactly in case our guests do arrive ‘fashionably late’. Shoot ‘troopers and try to avoid the natives as we’ve been doing. I don’t want them to complain about Resistance Fighters pulling weapons on them.”

“Sounds like a plan, Finn.” Poe’s eyes softened from their humorous twinkle, and he smiled warmly with his next words. “You lead and I’ll always follow.”

It was a simple reply Finn had heard many times and yet it still made his chest constrict hearing the utter dedication and loyalty Poe had for him. It boggled his mind how easily everyone in the Resistance trusted him despite how dodgy he admittedly acted when came to the Resistance as a whole, his mind solely focused on Rey and her safety in combination with his moral right to exist in the Resistance despite it. As General Leia told him later and as he slowly learned in his camaraderie with Poe, dedication to keeping loved ones safe is an honest trait. Finn was unable to keep Slip alive, so he tried his best to keep Rey—and now Poe—safe and well.

Knowing people trusted him with their lives still overwhelmed Finn, especially coming from Poe, a man far more capable at keeping himself afloat than Finn. First time they met, Finn almost got Poe killed by missing that one last TIE fighter that shot them to Jakku. Poe flew for the New Republic and the Resistance far longer than Finn had been part of his life, yet Poe always turned to Finn for safety and protection, for a trust and bond only strengthened by time and experience. Finn didn’t know the labels appropriate for what they shared and assumed there probably existed no word to explain their unique friendship that extended beyond the simple definition found in cordial attachment. Now as Poe’s trust-filled words echoed in his brain, Finn wondered if the other man would follow him into more than a battle.

The curious thought dissipated when a blaster sounded from back where they came. He shared a split second of eye contact with Poe before they both ran toward their exit and barged through the doors. Heavy wind and rainfall battered Finn through his thin clothing and he gritted his teeth together before sloshing through the mud toward their ship. Through the loud pattering rain and howling wind, Finn heard Poe’s blaster going off and he turned back to spot his friend shooting down a being in white armor. Turning back toward the ship, Finn caught sight of three Stormtroopers and shot each one in the chest with a stun blast.

The next few seconds happened with a quickness fast enough to dizzy Finn. All he heard was a shout, giving him enough time to skid into a turn and miss the blast aimed for his neck. One of the locals must’ve pulled the trigger given the good aim, he thought before being tackled to the ground and rolling in mud with a heavy body.

“Stay down!” Poe yelled into his ear before sitting up and cocking his blaster for a multitude of angry shots. Belatedly, Finn wondered if Poe was shooting the natives in retribution, but his eyes were locked on Poe straddling him by the waist in the dirt. The worst time to begin realizing Poe’s attractiveness—no, not realizing it, more so accepting his handsomeness as something Finn found attractive enough to consider pursuing—could not be any other moment than here, but he let Poe pin him down until he deemed it safe to get up and let his thoughts wander to the way the rain dripped down the slope of Poe’s nose and how the top two buttons of his shirt had popped open and—

“They wanted you so I had to keep you low,” interrupted Poe from Finn’s trailing thoughts. “Sorry I got you all dirty and muddy. I think I have some extra clothes in the cargo bag near the passenger seat. You’re welcome to dress in that, yeah?”

“Yeah. Sure. Okay.” Finn blinked a couple times and took the offered hand Poe held out after climbing off him. He noted how their fingers unconsciously slotted together as Poe tugged him toward the ship, and his heart once again decided to react in a way he was beginning to wonder had been a reaction all this time that he simply never gave much thought until today.

The two returned to their ship with only a few more shots at wayward Stormtroopers, Poe dragging Finn along as the rain battered his skin and washed some of the dirt from his body. Once inside, Poe’s prediction came into reality and they fought hand-to-hand against a trio, Finn barely noticing Poe until they managed to kick the intruders off the ship and back onto the muddied ground. He gave his friend a glance and noticed how he gripped his left arm but thought little of it when Poe shot him a blinding smile and motioned for him to ready himself for flight.

Finn grabbed a bag Poe passed along and fished out a long sleeved shirt and dark cargo pants, chucking his soggy, muddy clothes to the side as he dressed in Poe’s extra clothing. He turned back to Poe, who sat himself in the pilot’s seat flipping switches and pressing buttons with an unmatched quickness. This ship was one of the better ones they used to make their way through the galaxy as undetected as possible but nothing compared to an X-wing for Poe anyway. Without BB-8, starting the ship took a bit more time but Poe had them in the air and on their way back to the Resistance base on Naboo fast enough. The familiar sight of suns sparkling as stars soon filled the viewscreen so Finn allowed himself to relax and give Poe a friendly pat on the shoulder. When Poe flinched and tried to brush it off with a flimsy excuse, relaxation left Finn’s plans for the ride.

“Did you get shot?” he asked sternly, recalling how Poe gripped his arm just a few minutes earlier.

“It’s just a graze.”

“Graze or not doesn’t change the definition of getting shot, Poe.” Finn sighed and walked further into the ship. “Come here; let me patch you up.”

“I should stay in the cockpit being pilot and all.”

“You can get back to your seat once you let me tend to your injury, Dameron.” Finn didn’t often address Poe by his family name given how it felt like disconnecting himself from the personal relation found in calling him by his given name, and though Poe was not the only living Dameron as long as Kes had yet to kick the bucket, the reminder of his family often brought Poe back to reality and remembering he had to think about his own survival midst the chaos.

“Should have encouraged you to stay working in medical,” he mumbled but turned on auto-pilot and worked his way to Finn’s side with a sigh.

“Yeah, but you’d miss having me during the long flights,” Finn retorted and smiled lightly when Poe grinned widely. He took the man’s arm in hand and frowned at the large patch of bright red staining the cream colored fabric. “Just a graze?”

“You know the small ones always look worse than they really are.”

Finn narrowed his eyes but stood and reached up for the medical kit, cursing once he discovered the locals who had infested their ship had stolen it. “Looks like you’ll have to do with a tourniquet until we get to base.” He brushed his fingers against the wound and apologized when Poe hissed. His fingers came away painted with red. “This is more than a graze, Poe. You shouldn’t be bleeding this much if it was.”

“Okay, maybe it was more than a graze, but I feel mostly fine. It’s not a big deal.”

One thing that angered Finn most of all was his friends downplaying their injuries. He took a lightsaber to the back after fighting Kylo Ren—the scar still sizzled on bad days—and spent not nearly enough time in physical therapy for the damage done to his body. Finn knew there would be consequences for the rest of his life because he didn’t take the time necessary to fully heal. He knew that the First Order would have terminated him despite his ranking if his injury wasn’t dealt with properly. He never wanted his friends to be hindered by improper or incomplete healing processes and that could only be ensured if they admitted the level of injury in the first place. Poe was usually good about reporting his injuries since getting hurt badly enough meant he couldn’t fly, so hiding the extent of this wound really only meant one thing: he was embarrassed about why he got hit.

Finn tried to think about when Poe would have gotten shot but he knew the other man hadn’t gotten hit when they were escaping from the rendezvous point where they got attacked. He narrowed his eyes carefully. “Did you get hit while you were pinning me down?”

“I wasn’t pinning you down, I was protecting you.” Poe corrected as if the difference really mattered. Finn stood up and grabbed his discarded shirt, looking for a clean enough piece to use as a bandage. “Like I said,” the pilot continued, “they wanted to kill you in particular.”

“That doesn’t mean make yourself a target for them to shoot.” The sound of ripping fabric took to the air in the silence after Finn’s words. He walked back to Poe and roughly took his arm. “Don’t take silly shots for me, Poe. I can defend myself.”

“Never thought you couldn’t, Finn,” and Finn looked up into familiar eyes that hooked him since day one, momentarily distracted from the task at hand. “Let me help keep you safe like you do to me.”

A moment passed. Finn didn’t know what to make of it but he broke it when turning his eyes back to wrapping Poe’s wound. “You can’t keep me safe if you’re out on the field taking shots like this. All I’m asking is for you not to do that.”

“Sure.”

Poe’s nonchalant tone angered Finn and he tightened his wrapping just a bit more and cherished Poe’s wince before feeling guilty about it and redoing his bandaging job. “I’m just concerned, Poe. You always jump into danger like you don’t know any better and one of these days you’re gonna get yourself killed.”

“We’re fighting in a war, Finn. I can’t not jump into the fight when I know every shot I make can be one more shot closer to the end.” Poe’s eyes followed Finn’s fingers as he carefully wrapped the bandage and the pads of his fingers continued to stain red with Poe’s blood. “Besides, you jumped in front of a stupid shot that almost cost you your leg.”

A loud groan pulled itself from Finn’s throat as he finished tying the fabric. “By the Force, Poe, that was three and a half months ago! I’ve paid the price for that move, why can’t you let it go?”

“Why have you let it go already? I know you didn’t have to see it like I did but,” Poe trailed off and then pulled his injured arm in against his chest. “It’s not the same. I didn’t look like I was gonna die when I got hit today so there’s no need for all this fuss.”

Finn’s breath caught in his throat and he pulled up off the bench. “If you want to talk about almost dying, how about we go back to our first mission when you practically bled out in my arms!”

“I did not! I told you the smaller ones always look worse than they are.”

“Yeah, but when the smaller wounds happen to nick a major artery, it’s kind of lot worse than it looks.” Finn snatched his wet shirt off the bench and wiped the blood off his hands onto it. “Can’t believe you’re really going to sit here arguing with me about who had the worst wounds.”

“I mean you’re gonna win no matter what given the scar on your back.”

A tense silence spread between them. Finn felt his jaw lock. “It’s been over a year, Poe. I survived.”

“And what if you didn’t? What if Ren killed you? Then what?”

“Then nothing because he didn’t and I’ve had a year to contend with that so why can’t you!”

“I nearly lost you after that battle before I even got to know you!”

“You wouldn’t have lost anything anyway ‘cause you didn’t know me! I was nothing to you back then!”

Poe’s face fell like he had been struck in the chest with a lightsaber. “Nothing?”

“No, not nothing,” Finn felt his heart constrict; he hated arguing with Poe. “I said it wrong. It’s just...you didn’t know me, why would you miss me? I thought I had gotten you killed just so I could escape.”

“Funny since I thought I had gotten you killed.” Poe crossed his arms and winced from the effort.

Finn stiffened his posture, somewhat surprised it had taken them this long to discuss the impact their first meeting had on each other. It wasn’t as if they never talked about it before but neither party mentioned their quick attachment that lead to a reunited hug on D’Qar meant for a long term couple separated for weeks when in reality, they only knew each other for a handful of minutes.

“Well, neither of us was killed in the crash and I didn’t get sliced in half by Kylo Ren, and we both survived the First Order’s attack on Crait, so let’s not almost die on recruitment missions.”

Poe scoffed. “You say this like I plan to get shot on every mission.”

“At this rate it wouldn’t surprise me!”

“I’ve only been injured a handful of times; this isn’t even the worst! I don’t know why you’re so riled up about this, Finn.”

“Maybe since you tried to hide it from me when you know how much I kriffin’ hate when you do.” Finn glared at Poe as he stood. “Maybe since I don’t ever like when you’re injured and this is one time I’m making it known how much I hate it.”

“Over something not life-threatening.” Poe laughed sardonically.

“Force, I’m not going to argue with you over this.” Finn motioned toward the cockpit. “Go off and be a pilot; you’re welcome by the way.”

“Thank you.”

And maybe this wound was really the last straw on the bantha’s back, but Finn turned on his heel with an angry growl and pointed a threatening finger at his friend. “I don’t know what is with you right now and I’m sorry if I said something that ticked you off, but I’d rather not get back to base in a tiff with you, so can it if you would be so kind.”

Poe raised his eyebrows and motioned to himself. “Me? I’m not the one losing my cool over an easily healable blaster wound. I am perfectly fine.”

“Says the guy who brings up a long since healed wound from over a year ago.”

“Yeah because you’re acting like I could have died from that skirmish today!”

“Anytime you’re out in the open you could die! Even when you’re in a ship, you could die!” Finn felt his throat tighten with unhinged emotion at the thought of Poe dying and he fought through it. “You have a target on your back at all times, Poe, of course I’m worried!”

“So do you and someone actually hit that target and almost took you out so sorry if I’m a little annoyed at you acting like somehow me taking a hit on the arm to make sure you don’t meet that same fate again is crossing some sort of line.”

Finn’s hands curled into fists. “It’s crossing a line. We don’t trade kill shots for each other, Poe.”

“Well, good thing that wasn’t a kill shot aimed at me today.” Poe rolled his eyes and the lackadaisical action made Finn angrier. “You know, unlike the one for your throat that you had to dodge.”

Force be with him, they were really going to argue this out on the flight back to Naboo. “Why do you even care?”

“You can’t seriously be asking me this.”

“I am. I’m seriously asking you this.” Finn stepped forward, ignoring the stinging burn in his eyes and the heavy weight on his chest because Poe’s answer could truly make or break him. “Why do you care?”

Poe’s eyes darted to the side and he pulled his lips into a thin straight line. His hair fell in damp curls over his eyes and Finn wanted to brush them away if just to get Poe’s eyes back on him. “You’re my friend and it’s my duty to make sure you’re still alive.”

“Oh, it’s duty.” Finn felt something in his chest shatter at the news. “You’re here out of duty. I know Leia initially told you to accompany me but I thought after a year you would be here because you wanted it.”

“No, not duty to the Resistance,” spat Poe as he turned back to face Finn. His eyes darkened with emotion that had Finn gulping from the intensity. “Duty to myself. I can’t live with you being dead and it being my fault. Haven’t been able to live with that concept since Jakku.”

“You didn’t even know me then, Poe, why did it even matter if I survived?”

Poe frowned. “Why did it matter to you that I survived? Why’d you take my jacket while stranded on a desert planet?”

Finn blinked a couple times and coughed. “I...I don’t know. I was thankful, I guess. Had to honor your efforts somehow.” He felt his cheeks heat up as Poe’s gaze kept its intensity. “But we’re past that so stop bringing it up.” Poe opened his mouth and Finn cut him off. “No, don’t. We’re friends now and that’s what matters when it comes to saving our skin today and the next day.”

“Right. So, from one friend to another, you’ll stop flipping out over easily manageable injuries?” Finn’s glare returned and Poe threw his hands up in the air, seemingly forgetting about his own injury. “Why!”

“Poe,” warned Finn as the other man’s voice began to escalate in volume.

“Answer me that, Finn! Why does the Forcedamned state of my arm matter so much to you?”

“Poe, it’s not—,”

“It’s not what? It’s not important? It’s not a big deal?”

“It’s not about your arm and it’s never been about your arm! This is about your recklessness that’s gonna get you killed one day!” Finn cried out in response. “It’s about you putting yourself in excess danger for no reason! Putting others in danger too because we care about you and don’t want you dead!”

Poe snapped. “I don’t care about whoever is part of your ambiguous we, I know the Resistance needs me, but why do you care so much?”

Frustration and anger coupled with long-ignored yearning and sudden understanding soaked through Finn and the words flew ut his mouth before the thought to stop himself fully formed. “It’s ‘cause I love you!”

Nothing but silence answered Finn back for at least three minutes. The loud ship engines filled the space between breaths as the two cooled down from their impromptu shouting match. Poe spoke up after sitting down with bewilderment written all over his face. “You...you love me?”

Finn wanted to take back the words but he knew he spoke the truth. It all added up after today; drew a picture he had been looking at upside down for so long. He couldn’t deny it even if Poe didn’t feel the same way. “Yeah, I do. I love you and that’s why I care about even a scratch on your arm. I can’t lose you, Poe, like you can’t live with me being dead. I won’t let that happen if I can help it.”

“You won’t ever lose me.”

“That’s a bold promise to make.” Finn sat down and let loose a heavy sigh. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Then I’ll make the promise to love you, too. That’s one I’ve already kept for a while.” Poe sent Finn a grin and then turned back to the cockpit. “I, uh, should head back to the pit though. Auto-pilot makes me nervous.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Finn rubbed at the back of his neck. “Sorry for yelling at you.”

“No, I’m sorry. I was a bit out of line.” Poe jumped to his feet and stretched his working arm. “I didn’t mean to, uh, make you confess.”

“You didn’t make me. I wanted to, I guess.” he chuckled lightly and looked up at Poe. “If it helps you understand why I care then it’s something you should know.”

Poe smiled and Finn couldn’t help but smile back. The older man bent down to press warm lips to Finn’s dry forehead. “We’ll talk more at the base, yeah? After we report to Leia.”

“And after you go to medical and get proper care for that injury.”

Poe laughed brightly, his smile sparkling with the stars outside their ship. Finn wondered why it took so long for him to tell Poe how he felt, even if he only figured out what label to use just a few minutes ago. “Of course.”

#finnpoe #greypilot #finn (star wars)#poe dameron #star wars #star wars fanfic #tros inspired in a way #its hard making them argue wtfffhsdjhshdss #my writing

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