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bustyasianbeautiespod · 1 month ago

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Episode 109 Transcript: It’s Okay To Be Gay As Long As You’re Straight

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show many times...

C: And I, somebody who only knows about the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we will be discussing Season 6, Episode 5: "Live Free or Twi-hard," written by Brett Matthews [C: New writer.], directed by Rod Hardy [both] new director. Yes, I think so, unless that's not true. Yeah, Rod Hardy only directed this.

C: Does he have any history with vampire media? Did they bring him on specifically for that?

G: Okay, let's actually check. Brett Matthews wrote three episodes, all in Season 6.

C: Yeah, and then he was gone forever. Thank god!

G: Unless he died.

C: Oh, well.

G: Rod Hardy [C: Also gone forever] was born in 1949. This dude's old as fuck. Is he dead? I'm so sorry if you are, bro.

C: His last work was in 2019. It's possible.

G: Yeah, okay. He had two wins and one nomination. [C: For?] He won the Grand Prize for Thirst in the Avoriaz Fantastic film festival. No, he was a nominee for the Grand Prize. Which seems vampirey.

C: Yeah, I believe it.

G: "The descendant of Elizabeth Bathory is abducted by a cult of blood-drinking, self-proclaimed supermen who want her to join them."

C: Slay? Not really.

G: That's it. [laughs] [both] For this episode-

C: - of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we'll be discussing something that hopefully doesn't have teenage sex slaves?

G: Yeah, well, this episode does have teenage sex slaves.

C: Lovely. Well, what did I know?

G: Okay, yeah, let's start with, what did you know about this episode?

C: That Dean gets bitten by a vampire, and then at some point, he almost bites Ben. That's about it.

G: Yeah. Did you know about the Twilight shit?

C: I mean, I knew that there would be Twilight parody content, but I didn't really know what direction it would take.

G: I'm actually quite impressed that they namedropped like, everything and everyone.

C: Kristen, Robert...

G: I remembered the Slenderman episode of Supernatural is called "Thinman," and this one is literally just, they just say "Lautner" at some point. That's fun! The rest of the episode is not particularly fun.

C: Oh, wait! "Thinman" is a Slenderman parody?

G: I think so!

C: I never put that together. There is a hashtag. That makes sense.

G: Yeah, #THINMAN. Well, yeah, I suppose we should start this damn episode. But before we do, I have a promotion to make!

C: [laughs] Yay!

G: So I have started a- No, the thing is, it is colloquially called "knitting podcast," but that does, I feel, send the wrong message when you say it like that to people who are not aware of what a knitting podcast is. But I have a YouTube channel where I talk about my knitting. If you want to listen to me- Oh, god! This is so embarrassing! [laughs]

C: No! It's good! I mean, I wouldn't know because I haven't watched any of it, [G: Literally.] but it's good! You should promote it.

G: Oh, Danica, our past guest, has watched some of it, I think, like the two episodes that are out. And she did say that they're not particularly like friendly if you don't know anything about knitting. [C: Glowing review.] She said she understood nothing from it, so like, yeah. [both laugh]

C: If you want to watch something that's not particularly friendly to people who don't understand knitting so that you won't understand any of it, go to greyknits!

G: Oh, yeah, we're gonna put the link in the description or something. It's called greyknits, I think. It is. It's called greyknits. I think it's @greyknits on YouTube. [C: Hell yeah!] Also, it's called a podcast. But like, basically, it's a vlog where I sit down and talk about what I have made the past two weeks or something. My face is gonna be on it, so I don't know, heads up. Don't click on the link if you don't want to see my face. I know I personally don't like knowing what the podcasters I listen to, what they look like. I don't like that.

C: Like, they're ugly?

G: I mean, yeah, but I'm handsome, so you don't need to worry about that. [C laughs] But also, I just personally don't like having a face associated with the voice. So if you are like that, don't click on it. Don't listen to it. I'll survive. [C laughs] But if you want to see my beautiful face, well, you will.

C: Yeah, and your beautiful knits. [G: Yeah!] The reason I haven't watched any of it is because the two videos are things that are meant for me as a surprise, so-

G: Yeah, Crystal is not allowed.

C: - I can't watch, not because I'm not interested.

G: And Crystal saw it anyway, due to-

C: Yeah, it showed up on my YouTube recommendeds, even though it has like, 3 views or something? [G laughs] How many does it have?

G: It doesn't have 3 views. You're so mean to me. It has like, 26.

C: I'm sorry! It has a million.

C: Okay, well, that's it. This is like a passion project for me. Like, I love to do it, and I love knitting. I think, as is obvious from previous times I've talked about it in this podcast, and I'm really glad to be doing it! And I wanted to do it for a long time. It's just that I didn't have a phone before. I don't have any camera to speak of, so like, I was just like, I couldn't do it. I don't even have pictures of my past knits. Isn't that so sad? [C: That is sad.] Yeah, now I have an iPhone 13, and I'm living my best life. [C: So true.] Yay! Okay, well, let's start doing the episode, I guess.

C: Okay.

G: We start the "Then" sequence. Vampires. We're doing vampires. We see some of Gordon. I think we start with Gordon. [C: We do.] Gordon turning, and like, I think it's because we see Dean turn and how that affects his body. It is quite frustrating that when Dean turns, it's like, they do it for like half a second, and then for the rest of the episode, they were like, "We don't give a shit about like, how Dean is tempted to feed."

C: Yeah, the sensory stuff. And also, yeah, how Dean was tempted to feed.

G: I do think it's fascinating that what they do is like, when he's "outside," quote-unquote, with like, Sam and Lisa, they really make a point to make it like, "Oh, he's like a fucking monster now" or whatever. And then he goes into the monster lair, like the place where the vampires are in, and then suddenly, he's just regular schmegular hunter with no vampire instincts whatsoever. We don't even get a point where he's like, "Ugh, they're offering me blood, and I want it so bad. But I'm going to control myself."

C: We do.

G: We don't. He just stands there, and he's like, "No, I already fed."

C: I think he has some lingering looks at the blood bag. I think that you're right that they could have played it up some more.

G: Yeah, it's just, I think, frustrating that they really toned it down for that part. And it's like, it was obvious because they're trying to differentiate Dean from the actual monsters. But it's still annoying. Annoying me. [C: Yeah.] It's just all this vampire stuff, and then we go to a bar, and it's like a place where goths are hanging out, I suppose.

C: Yeah. It's called The Black Rose.

G: Yeah. And we have, like, a bartender asking someone for their ID, and the ID that is shown is this person called Emily Fang, and it's like, obviously not her. [both] And she's Asian! [C: Yay!] Yeah, but this is just for the ID. When the ID is put down, you see that it's like a completely different girl that is showing this ID.

C: Yeah, and white.

G: Yeah. I'm not sure she's white. Is she white? Her dad is white.

C: Yeah, that's true. I guess the actress might not be white, but she looks pretty white.

G: Yeah, she looks not like the ID photo.

C: Yeah, I mean, she looks like Bella Twilight. She's wearing flannel.

G: Oh, yeah. And they do the thing where like, she's named Kristen, like Kristen Stewart. And anyway, she's looking around, and she's like, super anxious, or whatever. And then she stumbles- like she tries- She's like, "Ugh, this guy's not gonna show up." She heads out. And then she stumbles upon a guy, and we realize that this is like the guy that she was supposed to meet all along, and his name is Robert. [laughs] Corny as fuck! It's so corny. Hate them. Anyway, they're really playing up the like, "Oh, you wrote poems for me, and that really showed me who you are. I know you, Kristen." Like, it's a whole fucking thing. And then Kristen gets a paper cut, and then that sends Robert into a haze where he's like, "I can't do this. I need to be away from you!" But then he comes back, and he's like, "Wow. I can't stop myself, whatever. I want you to know who I really am." And then he lifts his gums, and we see his fang.

C: Yeah, I mean, it's also at this point where Kristen reveals that she's 17 years old. [G: Oh, yeah.] She says, you know, "I can make my own decisions. I'm 17!" Ugh.

G: They start heading out because Robert is going to show her where he's from or whatever, his place.

C: I mean, she know that he's going to turn her into a vampire, but she asks if it's going to hurt. That's the plan, where they're going.

G: So they start heading out, and I do think it is a fun directorial choice to have it that the bar is like this, intense, whatever situation, and then they head out, and it's literally just a street in a Supernatural episode. [laughs] And yeah, Robert- like, at some point, Kristen asked like, "Oh, is this the place? Why does it smell like piss?" And then she gets jumped by some other guy, and then we don't know what happens to her until later.

C: Yeah. The other guy's also a vampire, to be clear.

G: Yeah.

C: Dean's now on the phone with Lisa, and we do see a bit of her, but I guess not too much about how she's feeling.

G: Yeah. She looks good. [laughs] [C: Yes.] Love her little flannel situation. She looks great in it!

C: So Dean's about a night's drive away from her, and he's gonna wrap things up and then maybe go home. And Lisa's really happy about it. She says that she can't wait to see him, and this phone thing's getting old, be careful. And Sam comes up to Dean and is like, "Wow! Why are you so happy? Boo! And also, here's our case, which is that there have been six girls missing in seven days, and they're all about the same age." And he's showing Dean pictures, and pedophilia Dean is back, everybody! [G: Ugh.] 'Cause he goes, "And cute!" And Sam scoffs, and Dean says, "Ice cream comes in a lot of flavors." What does that mean?

G: I don't know. I truly have no idea.

C: Okay. 'Cause I think what Sam says later is like, "These girls are-" well, what Sam says is, "Sure. Half a dozen girls, late teens, a shower away from greatness." So is Sam's scoff just like, "They're not that hot 'cause their hair is greasy"? [laughs] And Dean's like, "It's okay to like girls with greasy hair, Sam." and neither of them are engaging with the pedophilia thing?

G: Wait! I- [laughs] I did not even realize that that's what he meant by a shower away from greatness.

C: I think it's because they're like, emo/goth girls, right? And that subculture has an idea where people's hair is greasy? So I think that's what he meant.

G: Or like, maybe, perhaps that they're wearing eyeliner.

C: Maybe? Sure.

G: I don't know. Something. I didn't really think about it. I was just like, "Ugh!"

C: I guess his soul prevents him thinking pedophilia is okay. Good to know. Sam says that a seventh girl went missing today, so they go over to Kristen's house to talk to her dad, who's a single father just like Bella from Twilight's father. He just says that he tried to be a good parent, but girls specifically are hard to raise, I guess. And they go and inspect her room, and it's like, a whole thing. Dean turns on the light, and then the camera just- I don't know. It just goes around, showing various aspects of the room where the walls are blood-red, and there's like, hot vampire posters on every single surface, and like, goth accessories, and all of that.

C: People who are comfortable being in a room that their parents can see and having people that are the objects of their affection up on the walls are so brave and not Catholic. Like, good for them! [laughs]

C: Yeah, no, truly, good for them. And good for her for having a themed bedroom in general. [G: Honestly.] I feel like every kid wants a themed bedroom.

G: You need to put an effort to paint those goddamn walls. You need to do things for that to happen.

C: Yeah, yeah, it was definitely a whole project, and I'm sure she was really happy at the end of it. And Dean goes, "Oh. This is like, horrible! I fucking hate this. This sucks!"

G: They are- the haterism is like- Where is it coming from? At some point, Dean says, "Oh, these are not vampires. These are like, heart-throb [both] douchebags" or whatever. So like, is the point that it they're romanticizing an inaccurate version of the vampire? [laughs]

C: Yeah, they're like, "They're romanticizing an evil monster that we love killing." It's like, I don't know, how in Season 1 or something, he was like, really mean to some teens who watched horror movies and were in a situation because of it or something, right?

G: That one, actually, he was like, "Didn't you watch a horror movie? [C: Oh.] If they say turn around, then turn around." So he's actually on this side of the horror movie.

C: So he's on the side of horror movies for men-

G: But not on the side of horror movies for the girlies, yeah. I mean, I don't like Twilight, so I don't really feel obliged to-

C: Yeah, defend it or its fans.

G: Yeah. But like, I do understand that the hatred in this episode, specifically, towards it, is like, rooted in misogyny, [laughs] so like, I feel a little bit uneasy about it.

C: Yeah, they're not like, "The portrayal of werewolves is racist!" Yeah. They're like, "Teenage girls having sexual desires is stupid-"

G: "Girls like it!"

C: "- and it's their fault that they're in this situation now." And like, I don't think they're like a hundred percent on the victim-blaming train or whatever, but there is like a bit of like, "And this is what happens when you romanticize monsters." [G: Yeah.] Which, yeah, seems pretty gross to me as a way to approach this storyline.

G: And I think that that kind of perspective that this episode is peddling is a lot obvious in the line earlier when the girl goes- when Kristen goes, like, "I can make my own decisions. I'm 17!" Because you're supposed to go, "Oh, she's so stupid!" in that part. [C: Right.] And like, I don't know. I don't know. Supernatural hates women. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] And they hate girls, too. Who would have thunk?

C: Yeah. 'Cause this is directly an episode about sexual predation. [G: Yeah.] And they spend, I'd say, equal amounts of time mocking the girls as they do going, "These guys are kind of mean!" So. [laughs]

G: I would say they spend more time going, "Oh, these girls are so stupid for going to these bars and being turned into vampire sex slaves at 17 years old!" than they do being like, "Oh, yeah, these vampires that are doing this are evil."

C: Yeah, I mean, Dean kills all of them indiscriminately. [G: Yeah.] Kills the girls first! [both laugh]

C: They're laid out for Sam and Samuel to find like a fucking- those boxes that you open before Christmas. [C: What are you talking about?] Advent calendars.

C: Oh, yeah. Those. Sam finds a red laptop under a pillow, and when he opens it makes a screaming noise, and a picture of a brooding vampire pops up, like, staring at them. [G: Love it.] I love it! Yeah, I love people who customize little things like that. Like, it takes work. [G: Yeah.] Later, when he gets the password in, there's a scream every time. [G: Where it's wrong, yeah.] She has to learn a good amount about like computer settings or programming to do that, and I love it.

G: Yeah. It's the same way that a lot of people, their first endeavor into coding is like, customizing their Tumblr account. [laughs]

C: Yeah, no, that was me. I had a fucking playlist that would just automatically go on whenever someone went on the blog. I think I tried to change what people's mouse cursors looked like. [G: Literally.] Annoying as fuck.

G: And that's so important.

C: Dean goes, "What's he so bummed out about?" even though that vampire is making Dean's resting face. [both laugh]

G: Literally! That's literally his face. Dean, that's your face!

C: It really, really is. Sam's testing a bunch of passwords, all of them titlecase.

G: Sam is like, "I'm gonna figure out the password of this thing," and then [laughs] he looks at the laptop, and he does his face where he's like, in deep concentration. [laughs] And then he types "Dracula," capital D, and it's wrong, [both laughing] and it's the funniest fucking thing in the world. God, love it!

C: Yeah. And also, Dracula is not a particularly sexy vampire in his portrayal, so no wonder it didn't work.

G: Sam is so far away from what the perception of vampire is by this teenage girl.

C: Dean saves a poster of a vampire watching some girls sleep, and he calls it rapey, which, yeah.

G: It's a book cover, yeah.

C: And then he starts reading a passage from the book, mocking it. So yeah, again, it's like, "It's so stupid that this girl is into this book where the guy is rapey" instead of like, "Well, this is concerning that like, this has like, made her easier to prey upon" or whatever. I don't know. It's just the direction they go.

G: "It's so stupid that she likes it!" Like, okay, Dean, you're also, number one, a creep. Like, let's be completely fucking honest.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. So Sam is failing at passwords. Dean tells him to try "Lautner" and then "Pattinson," and that last one works.

G: Sam's like, "How do you know that guy? I can't believe you know that guy, and he's a werewolf, Dean!" [C laughs] And it's like, what were you doing at the devil's sacrament? [C laughing]

C: Yeah. But also, I think this is the thing where like, if you're parodying something, don't have the actual property exist in the universe.

G: Yeah, but it's like the actual property for here. Or I mean, it's not because the book is a different name, but like, you know what I mean?

C: Yeah, but the vampire's name is Robert. Maybe the Pattinson in My Summer Blood is named George Pattinson, I guess. [laughs] We don't know.

G: Literally.

C: Sam starts looking through a forum that Kristen posts on, and her inbox has some guy who claims to be a real vampire. And he's just saying stuff about how he doesn't trust himself with her, but she should meet him at night at The Black Rose. And they just discuss like, is it just a pervert, or is it a fucking real vampire? And Sam's like, "Well, probably a real vampire. And like, these people are pretty easy prey." And yeah, so they decide to head there. Meanwhile, there's a very brief scene where a bunch of vampires in a van jump out and mug the driver of a- I don't know.

G: Blood bag?

C: Blood donation drive van, and then they take all the blood in the back. And they pan over the van in case we don't know what the fuck this van is. We do. Later, when Benny comes back from purgatory, he says that he tried just going off of blood donation bags, but then, he eventually ended up feeding on a person. In a cut scene, right? [G: Yeah.] Was he doing it like this, or did he just steal directly from the hospital or-? Well, I don't know. We'll get to it in Season 8. I just think it's fun that Supernatural was like, "We're gonna make sure they kill a guy while doing it so you really know it's bad." [laughs]

G: Well, Sam calls Samuel, and he's like, "Oh, Samuel, what is all this, then?" And Samuel says, "We are sure that it's vampires because the blood van and also the everything." And Sam says like, "Why are they still getting people if they're already getting the blood from the blood bank?" And Samuel just goes like, "Well, that's what you're here to figure out." Sam and Dean go to the bar, and they're sitting around watching all these people getting it on, and they kind of see that there's some people who look younger, so they're keeping their eyes on them, and then one of them is a straight couple, and they're like, "Oh, that one, that they look suspicious." And then they're like, keeping their eye on these people, and then another guy comes in and then goes up to the guy, and then he turns around and gives the guy a kiss, and Sam and Dean [C: Yay!] go, "[gasp]" I mean, they don't. They really-

C: Dean looks disgusted. [both laugh]

G: Well, homophobia win!

C: Homophobia win

G: We haven't had a homophobia point in a while, I think. [C: Yeah.] And now we do. Actually, that's a lie. We did have a homophobia point last week, and the week before, and the week before.

C: I don't think that's true. Is that true?

G: I think just last week and 6.01.

C: Maybe. I haven't tried transcribed 6.04 yet, so.

G: It's because they kept on going, "I'm baring my feelings like a girl in here!"

C: Yeah, and because Crowley was made fun of for wearing a kilt.

G: Sam and Dean are like, "Okay, well, that's not what we're looking for, I guess." How do they know that?

C: Yeah. Why can't vampires be luring men?

G: Be gay? They say it's you either be gay or a straight vampire. That's the only options.

C: I see. Well, I guess I'll never be turned, then.

G: Yeah. I mean, there is Louis de Pointe du Lac, so you never know.

C: That's true. And the two other gay- the three other gay vampires. The four other gay vampires? I don't know what's going on with Daniel yet.

G: Who are they?

C: I mean, Lestat, Armand, and Claudia! [G: Oh my god!] So there's our fourth gay vampire, and then we might have a fifth gay vampire in Daniel.

G: Anyway, so they decide to follow the two other couples that they've been eyeing instead. Sam follows his assignment, and that turned out to be like a vampire for real, and he cuts off the head. Meanwhile, the couple that Dean follows get it on on an alley, and Dean literally shoves the guy off the girl and then tells the girl to run, and then he's cornering the guy, going like, "Let me see your fangs!" and then he does, but it's fake fangs, and Dean's mad at him. And then he has glitter on his face, and Dean goes, “Ugh, you have glitter on your face!” and the guy goes, “It's just to pick up girls, man!” And Dean asks if it works, and the kid goes, “Yeah,” so.

C: Supernatural really said "It's okay to be gay as long as you're straight." [both laugh]

G: That is the Supernatural philosophy, it feels like. [C: Yeah.] Yeah. But they also said, "It's not okay to be gay, even if it's because you're straight, like if you're in love with your girl." [C laughs] So I don't know. They go back and forth.

C: Yeah, it's real confusing. I think the difference is that Dean's being gay for Lisa is out of love, and this guy's being gay for this girl is out of lust, and lust is fine, but love is ewww, disgusting! So yeah. [C: Yeah.] What a fascinating mindset to have. [C: Yeah.] Yeah, anyway, as Dean is walking, there's a voice that goes, "You're pretty." And then Dean turns around, and it's the same guy that jumped Kristen earlier.

C: Yeah, not Robert, the other vampire.

G: No, yeah, the other guy. And Dean goes like, “Oh, I don't swing that way." Or no, he says, "I don't play for your team." Straight Dean truthing! Love it. [both laugh] And the guy goes like, “Okay.” And then he starts attacking Dean, and he gets Dean pinned against a dumpster, and then he cuts open his hand and smears blood over Dean's face. But as this is happening, Sam rounds the corner.

C: Yeah. Quite before this is happening.

G: Yeah, he notices that this vampire is just about to cut open his arm. So it's not happening yet at all. He could have stopped it immediately. But he lets Dean get turned, and then he's just standing in the corner like, chest puffed out-

C: He makes a little sicko smirk.

G: Yeah, [laughs] he's doing his sicko face. And yeah. And then as he's sure that Dean is getting turned, he goes, "No!" [both laugh] and then he starts attacking the vampire. Yeah. Later on, we realize that the reason why this vampire said "You're pretty" is because he's specifically targeting attractive people so that he can send them to bars to recruit.

C: And the thing is, Dean might be into 17-year-old goth girls because he's a horrible person, but like, have you- I don't know if they'd be into him back. He doesn't have the look.

G: Yeah, I mean, specifically not with their modus operandi of “We're sending skinny boys into bars to attract teenagers."

C: Yeah, with like, dark hair. [G: Yeah.] And very, very, even paler than Dean's, skin.

G: Paler than the foccacia you made, yeah.

C: Yeah. He doesn't quite have the look, but yeah. I don't know.

G: Yeah. Like, Dean isn't Twilight handsome. [C: Mm.] He's- I don't know.

C: Supernatural handsome.

G: You know what, later on in this episode, Dean comes out of the shower or something wearing a Henley, and I was like, "That's the guy who's hot. Good for him." [silence] Sorry, is that weird?

C: I'm happy for you. [both laugh]

I've heard people liken Dean's turning to sexual assault-

G: Well, yeah.

C: Which, yeah. That is sorta the idea of the entire episode.

G: I mean, it's pretty obvious that that's the line that they're making. They literally do keep those girls in cages later, and specifically, Boris, the vampire that's like old as fuck-

C: But like, Dean's turning specifically?

G: No, but what I mean is the turning of those girls are perceived as sexual in nature, and so for Dean, I don't think it's such a far line to be like, he turned Dean also, so you can interpret that as like that also. And also, it is very much a they're pimping these people out, and so with Dean specifically, that's explicitly what they're gonna do with him. That's why they turned him.

C: Yeah, that's what they're gonna do with the teenage girls, too.

G: Yeah.

C: They're in a motel room, and we get a bit of Dean POV, and apparently, being a vampire, a lot of sensory overload, which we also saw with Gordon. But yeah, he can hear everything way louder. All the lights are way too bright. [G: Yeah.] Dean's like, "Man, this sucks. I can't believe I'm gonna die. You called Samuel, and he's gonna kill me when he gets here, and I'm gonna ask him to do it because you won't do it." And Sam's like, “No, no, no, we can figure this out!” And then Dean starts hearing Sam's heartbeat, and it's completely steady, like he's not at all panicked, which I think was a fun little detail to throw in.

G: Yeah, the heartbeat? It's so cool. It's so cool.

C: Sam says, “That's 'cause I'm trying to stay calm, Dean! 'Cause I care about you!” [G laughs] Sam asks how it feels, and Dean goes, "You want to talk about my feelings?" and Sam says, "No, I mean physically." And he's just generally very curious about a lot of aspects of vampirehood throughout the episode in a "he doesn't really care!" way. He looks in the mirror, and there's like a little baby fang coming in on the top part of his gum.

G: Love it. Love it!

C: Very cute. And then we cut back to Sam POV. He hears some sounds from the bathroom. He goes inside. Dean has escaped through the window, and now he's in Lisa's house, and he's mimicking the book cover.

G: You know what? [C: Yeah.] Now that I think about it, Sam and Dean in their childhood, or at the very least, Sam in his childhood, must never had pretended to be a vampire at any point in his life, and that makes me so sad. [C: Yeah.] He's never done a "Mwahahahaha!" and that makes me- Maybe that explains Sam's psychology entirely. I think Dean- Do you think Dean, before he was 4, would have done that shit, or would Mary have been like, "No." [C laughs]

C: Huh! I don't know. Are kids into vampires before age 4? Some of them. I guess they see them in Sesame Street.

G: [overlapping] No, because they see them in Sesame Street. There's Count Dracula.

C: Yeah. Sure, maybe Dean had his vampire phrase.

G: Do you think Dean ever did Count Dracula's accent, and Mary was like, "Dean. [both laugh] This is not who you are!"

C: Yes. I do.

G: Maybe when Sam was a kid, he watched an episode of Sesame Street, and he did Count Dracula's accent, and John wrote in his journal, like, [C laughing] "Sam is evil. He's on the way to being a monster."

C: "He wants to be a vampire." [G: Literally.] Dean's mimicking the My Summer Blood book cover because Lisa's sleeping, and he's standing over her, watching.

G: [laughing] Oh, that's what they're doing! [C: Yeah.] I completely missed that!

C: Lisa wakes up and sees him. Dean's like, "Hi, I wanted to see you." And Lisa's like, "What's going on? What's wrong?" And I don't understand why Dean won't just tell her. [G: Yeah.] I don't get it.

G: Dean also did this in Season... 5! I was gonna say 4, that's why I said it like that.

C: Yeah, showing up, being ominous like, "I'm gonna die soon. But I love you." Like, what is this for?

G: It sucks! It's a horrible thing to do. It's a horrible thing to do. Just write a goddamn letter.

C: Yeah. And like, if he's being selfish, and he really needs this kind of closure, well, don't be. And I don't know. Call? Leave a voicemail? Yeah, letter works too. It seems out of character for him to be putting Lisa and Ben at risk like this.

G: I mean, he also literally did do it in Season 5, but like, at least that one, it's not like he's putting them in explicit risk, although I suppose he was, because it's like the angels were monitoring him or something. But he was already gonna say yes, so I suppose there's like less of a-

C: Yeah. He won't tell her anything, which I think just makes all of this worse. If she knew he was a vampire then like, they could actually talk after this instead of being like, "Oh. This guy was on his path to domestically abusing me."

G: "And my kid," yeah.

C: And my kid! Anyway, he goes like, "I just need you to know... you and Ben, thanks for everything."

G: So fucking corny.

C: She's like, "Dean, you're scaring me." I don't know. I just thought they had a better communication thing set up. [G: Yeah.] Like, I liked their relationship, partly because I thought that they- yeah- would actually be honest about each things with each other about hunting, yeah.

G: The thing with the Apocalypse is like, Lisa did not know that the Apocalypse was happening. This one, she is aware that Dean's going hunting. She's aware that there's dangers to that. And so like, not communicating it to her is not sparing her anything. She knows that this is a possibility. So why not just tell her that it's what happened?

C: Yeah. I don't get it. So in this world where he says goodbye and then leaves forever, she's just like, "Wow." He already tells her that he's going to die. So like, yeah, what is being gained here? Just being like, "I don't want her to think about me in my last moments like that. I want her to think me as a human." Whatever, Dean! Whatever.

G: Yeah. I mean, Dean has so many hangups about everything. Honestly, when he was like, "And Samuel's gonna kill me because I'm going to ask him to," I was like Jesus Christ, dude. Like, calm down. [C laughing]

C: Yeah. I guess it's just hard to machete off your own head.

G: Yeah, I suppose it is hard. Or is it?

C: Pretty sure it is.

G: He can just look at a barn, see if there's any- What is that thing called? I don't even know what it's called until the Supernatural episode aired. T-bar?

C: Oh, rebar!

G: Rebar? Rebar. [laughs] What is a T-bar? I don't know, but a rebar. But he can just look at a barn and see if there's any rebar there and run towards it.

C: Would that work? I thought it had to be decapitation.

G: Oh, yeah, you're right. I mean, if he's stuck on a fucking rebar, it's not like he can go anywhere. [C laughs] What needs to be done is, Sam needs to pick him up by the shoulder and then impale him on a rebar, and then his feet are like dangling the whole time. He's like, "I can't jump off this thing because my feet is like above the floor!" [C: Yeah.] Yeah, that's what needs to happen.

C: So true. And yeah, he just won't tell her anything, and she's like, "No, you can't just do this. Explain what's going on." And Dean's just like, "I can't bring this shit home to you. My life is ugly and violent, and I'm gonna die soon!" He literally just brought this home to her!

G: He literally brought it home already. [C: Ugh!] It's hilarious that it's vampires that killed Sam and- Well, Dean. [C: Yeah.] Many things wrong with the finale, but the right thing is that a vampire killed Dean. [laughs] I think also, they just got lazy. That's why they did a vampire. Don't you feel like? They just got lazy? That's why a vampire killed him?

C: Maybe.

G: Like they were like, "It doesn't matter who does it as long as it happens" is the vibe, pretty much, and a vampire is the closest thing to like a menacing human being that we can put here.

C: Sure. Everyone's a human being-looking thing in Supernatural, though.

G: Yeah, but a vampire only- what? Bears his fangs? Everyone else turns into a- They have a stick up their arm or whatever. [both laugh] I don't know.

C: Sure. So Lisa comes in closer, demanding he tell her what's going on, and he shoves her against the wall.

G: And they linger on it. Dean leans in-

C: Right. It seems like he might feed.

G: [laughing] And then Dean turns around, and it's the funniest fucking shot in all of Supernatural. [C: Is it? Oh!] Where he's looking over- The window is ajar, so the moonlight is pale across his skin, and he's slowly opening his mouth, and the fangs are coming in. Baby's first teething!

C: He goes into the hallway, and Ben has woken up and is like, saying hi to him, and Dean tells him to stay back, but Ben doesn't, so then Dean also shoves him into a wall and then runs out. And Lisa comes out, and she's like, "Jesus fuck," and she pulls Ben to her. [G: Yeah.] And that's for that scene.

G: Yeah.

G: Anyway, Samuel arrives in the motel. Sam opens the door for him, and Samuel's like, "I can't believe you lost Dean," blah blah blah, and Sam was like, "It's not my fault, Samuel. I can't believe you're blaming me!" [C laughs] Anyway, Samuel says, "He's a monster now. You've gotta be prepared to do the right thing." And Dean, very ominously standing on the side, goes, "I told you he'd kill me when he showed up." [C laughs] And yeah, he- like, Sam and Samuel- Is there a better way to say Sam and Samuel that isn't "Sam and Samuel"?

C: We can just give him a completely different name. We just call him "Mary's dad" the whole time.

G: Sam and Samuel Campbell. Literally. So they grab their machetes and hold it ominously as Dean, also equally ominously, turns the corner and shows himself. And Samuel asked if he fed, and Dean is like, "Close. I was close, but I didn't. I went to say goodbye. And that was a bad idea!" He literally is speaking like this for some reason. I mean, I get that the reason is that he's upset because, you know, he's a vampire and he's gonna be dead soon. But as we have established before, I don't like brooding characters. [both laugh] Dean tells him like, "Okay, just, you know, cut my head off now or whatever." But Samuel says, "I didn't come here to kill you, Dean. I came here to save you." And then Samuel starts talking about how he has a recipe for a vampire curing thing, "But it's important that you haven't fed yet."

C: Yeah. Also, Sam acts really shocked when he mentions this, which later, Samuel brings up, "You already knew about the cure, Sam. Why did you say 'what?' back then?"

G: Yeah. And it is actually funny. [laughs] You can see the moment Sam realizes that he needs to act surprised. Like when Dean goes, "What?" And Sam goes, "Whaat?" immediately after. [laughs] So real! You know what? Is Sam the worst actor in the world? Maybe that's the reason why he's a tree in the fucking play that he was in when he was a kid. [C: Yeah.] Anyway, what they need is like a bunch of stuff, but the most important part is that they need a fang from the vampire that turned Dean.

C: No, they just need blood from him.

G: No, they need a fang, right? Or they need blood-

C: It says "blood of the fang that turned you," and "the fang" just refers to the vampire.

G: Ahh. That's interesting! The whole time, I thought they were gonna get his fang!

C: No.

G: Horrible! Well, [laughs] Sam goes, "That guy was huge." Sam, you're literally 6 fucking 4 and a giant! So yeah. Dean volunteers to get it, because he said he can just go into their nest because he's one of them now and get the fucking thing. So their plan is that Dean shoots this guy up with dead man's blood. I forget. Dead man's blood is literally just blood you get from a dead guy?

C: Yeah. [G laughs]

G: Iconic. Anyway, Sam volunteers to come with Dean, but Dean says, "You smell like a hamburger." And so Dean goes alone, and he brings some dead man's blood with him in a syringe, and it's one singular syringe for this whole entire endeavor.

C: Hell yeah!

G: He's going to a nest, by the way. He's going to a place where there are many vampires, and he beought one fucking syringe.

Dean heads out, and Sam and Samuel start like planning to head out to get the other ingredients. But Samuel starts getting suspicious, and he goes, "What the hell's wrong with you, Sam?" And Sam pretends that he doesn't know what Samuel's talking about, and Samuel's like, "You know about the cure. I told you about it months ago!" And Sam was like, "No, you didn't. You must have told somebody else, like Christian or something." [C laughs] And Samuel says like, "That's weird, because if you had known, like I think you had, it's almost like you let him get turned so that you can go into that lair or something and find things out."

C: Yeah, "and find the alpha vamp that we've been chasing."

G: Yeah. And Sam just goes like, "I can't believe you'd think that of me! You think I'm evil? Well, maybe you think that because you're evil!" [C laughing] Honestly, Sam is like- It is kind of a nightmare situation that Dean is in, if we're being completely honest. It's a fucking nightmare to be in this kind of situation, [laughing] but Sam is the funniest guy in the world.

C: Yeah. Absolutely.

C: Dean has gone to the vampire nest, and, you know, he sneaks into the building, and then he runs into Robert from earlier, and Robert's just very friendly and bro-y with him. He's like, “Oh my god! Hi! Sup? Glad you made it, man!” and fist bumps him. And he brings Dean over to a fridge full of blood bags and is like, "You must be so starving. Like, here's some food." And Dean goes, “I'm okay. Um, I killed so many people on the way over here, so."

G: [laughs] And the vampire is like, “Whoa, man. I mean, we're not supposed to do that, but that's soo cool." Good for him.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Dean has his ominous line about "First chance I get, I'll show you myself" because he's gonna kill Robert. I am curious about why they're not supposed to kill anyone. Why can't that go hand-in-hand with recruitment?

G: Well, because if they kill someone, that's someone that they didn't recruit.

C: Yeah, but it seems like they only need to recruit hot people, so. Most people are-

G: What?

C: They're only trying to recruit attractive people to like, continue this pyramid scheme, so.

G: Oh, and most people are ugly as fuck.

C: Yeah, so other people are up for grabs. And also, all blonds.

G: Is it like, "Don't put in the energy to do that"? If you are killing someone, then you're putting in the work to kill someone, so might as well just put in the work to recruit someone and drink from a blood bag.

C: I guess so. I guess like a truck of blood is like a lot of people's worth of blood. [G: Yeah.] Dean passes by some other vampires who are sort of glaring at him, and Robert says, "Don't worry about them. They're jealous. The recruiters get to bang all the chicks."

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. So- I guess I wasn't entirely sure. Okay, so like, part of it is during the recruitment process, you might have sex with a teenage girl. And is the other part like, once they're turned into vampires, they remain specifically sex slaves for the recruiters? Or like-

G: I'm not sure, actually. Also, I don't think they only recruit good-looking people. Because this vampire did say that like, "All these people, they're just jealous of you because they're ugly as fuck, and you're not."

C: Yeah. They also look basically the same level of track of attractive as Robert and Dean.

We see Kristen in front of a laptop, sitting on- not sitting on Boris's left, but he's like, looming over her. And yeah, so he's telling her what to type on the computer in order to catfish another girl, and yeah, he's like, creeping on her. He's sniffing her hair and all of that, and she's very uncomfortable with it. And there's some other teen girls in cages, who are drinking blood from bags, and Boris has some line to Kristen where he calls her "sweetheart" and tells her to "Go to the cage and then march that little ass right back here." So yeah, I mean, it's bad. Don't like it. [laughs] [G: Yeah.] And there's like a moment where she like, locks eyes with Dean. And like I was like, "Is he gonna help her?" No.

G: He's going to murder this girl!

C: Yeah. Nothing. Yeah, Boris is like, "I thought that hunter killed you," and Dean's like, "What's a hunter?" [laughing] That's actually also a regular word in the English language that you could understand from context clues, Dean.

G: Literally.

C: Yeah. And Boris is like, "Don't worry. I'll kill him."

G: Do you think all monsters think of hunters as like, that's the word they use? Some sects of monsterhood must call them different names.

C: Other words, yeah. I guess not vampires. Boris says that he's like, 600 years old, and now it's a great time to be a vampire "because these stupid little brats are so horny, they've reinvented us as Prince Charming with a Volvo. You're like, gonna be the hot vampire of their dreams and then bring them home to me."

G: Honestly, Dean looks more like he would be a werewolf in a vampire/werewolf book.

C: Yes, I agree. And he's saying all of this while he's pulling the hair of one of the girls in a cage. And Dean asks about the cages, and he says, "That's just till they're compliant." So why isn't Dean in a cage? Why aren't any of the guys in cages, if they also have the same job?

G: Yeah.

C: There's just sort of this underlying thing that like, if a man gets turned into a vampire and is told that his job is going to be to prey on teenage girls to turn them into sex slaves, that he'll just be down for it?

G: I don't even know, man.

C: Like, he'd just immediately be down for it, so there's no need to like, break him?

G: You know what I solemnly think? I think they think it's going to be gay to have men in there. [C snorts]

C: Yeah, you know what? [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] I believe it. I think what I was more thinking was just they're partly doing this for sexual gratification, so what's the point of having men in there?

G: I mean, what it is is they're trying to evoke a visual. This episode is trying to evoke a visual. Whatever the fuck the actual vampire lair is doing, I don't know. But like, what the show is doing is, I think, they're trying to evoke a greater sense of horror by the fact that it's women who are in there. [C: Yeah.] Or, I don't know. Like, not greater sense of horror. I think there is an aspect of it that if you put men in there, that it's more real.

C: Hm. Yeah.

G: Yeah. And because Supernatural-

C: Because that's what Dean's role is. He could be in a cage! Oh, no! How horrible!

G: Yeah, but like, because Supernatural is the way it is, women can be just part of the accessories in the general horror of a place, and that's how they do it.

C: Yeah, they're just sort of background eyecandy/whatever. They just make hissing noises.

G: Or horror, yeah.

C: The idea is that like they're acting very animalistic. And the idea is just because they're newly turned, they're like so hungry for blood, so then-

G: No no no, they're like- There's like, a thing that they're drinking, right?

C: Blood.

G: They're being given- is that blood?

C: Yeah.

G: I thought they were being drugged.

C: No, he tells her to go back to the cage and have some blood. It's just blood.

G: Oh. Okay.

C: Yeah. So the idea is like they're just newly turned, so they're like so hungry for blood that they're so animalistic that Dean doesn't need to engage with them on a person-to-person basis. But Dean is also newly turned, and he's not like that. So what's up? But yeah, I think that is just back to the Supernatural deciding who is a person based off of like- Well, they're deciding who's a person first, and then through that, they're deciding what character can be related to Sam and Dean's predicaments in a way. And like, they've decided that because these are girls, that they're completely other from Dean, and that he has no sympathy for them, or any sort of whatever.

G: And like, all the guys in the lair are like, like Dean. Somehow- and Dean is also- has not fed, is newly turned, as you've said, and he's not acting like these girls in cages. [C: Yeah.] So like, yeah. It is just to provide horror for the setting without addressing or engaging with the idea that Dean is one of these people, and it's supposed to be- It's the same reason why he was a monster outside, but here, he's like, completely clearheaded.

C: Yeah. Why aren't the lights in here making everybody really upset?

G: Yeah, literally. It's bright. They have a fucking cathedral ceiling. [C: Yeah.] And the fucking light cathedral, too, not the baroque kind. [C laughs]

C: Mm-hm. Yeah, so basically, after these girls are quote-unquote "compliant," they're gonna go out and fetch Boris boys like Dean, and it's just gonna be all the way down. And Dean asks if Boris came up with the system, and he says, "No, I just implement it. It's our father's." And he points to like this stained glass ceiling. [G: Yeah.] And Dean's curious about this, so Boris is like, "Ooh, okay, I'll give you a private tour." And he starts walking to lead Dean, so his back is turned, and he's so far away, but Dean already pulls out the syringe.

G: Yeah. And he makes a whole thing about it, too. He's like-

C: Your arm is not that long! [G: Yeah.] But when he pulls it out, a drop of it falls to the floor, which Boris hears because of vampire superhearing, and he whips around, and he makes Dean drop the syringe, and he's gonna attack, but then he starts to hear whispers from the ceiling, and then he kind of just collapses, and this happens little by little with each vampire in there. And Dean collapses last. I think it's like his connection to the alpha vampire's weaker because he's the newest one.

He has a vision, and so there's like, a creepy little girl- a little Victorian girl or whatever. I don't actually know what time period this is from. But I feel like that's sort of the image they're trying to evoke.

G: It's like, so wait. This is visions from the alpha vampire, right?

C: I think so.

G: But it's not supposed to be like the vampires first turn. This is just some fuck-all turn he does.

C: I feel like it might be. I think it's his first turn because-

G: But it's like, way too recent for that to be the case.

C: - there's like, an image of a cell dividing, which makes it seem like, "Oh, this is science! This is the start of it."

G: No, but like, it's like way too recent. The visuals are way too recent. This vampire that Dean is talking to, 600 years ago. So when was that?

C: That's true. The 1400s. And this dress, yeah.

G: They're supposed to be in a fucking cellar in like, Bavaria or something.

C: They're supposed to be dying of the plague! [both laugh]

G: Literally.

C: No, you're right. 'Cause this is they make this seem like this is the first turning because of all the science imagery.

G: Yeah, and it's The Shining, is what they're doing.

C: Yeah, but it can't be if Boris is 600 years old because he's- unless, like, yeah, because this is more recent than that.

G: He's not even the alpha, yeah.

C: Yeah. And he's not even the alpha.

G: So it must be older than that. Is this vampire turning cavemen?

C: Yeah, no, that's so weird. Like, did they just fuck up?

G: Will we find a Neanderthal with vampire DNA?

C: Don't know.

G: Would be pretty cool if we do.

C: Would be. I don't know. This is confusing. I didn't realize this until you said it. But yeah, I have no clue. Yeah. But there's a creepy little Victorian girl who should be in rags on a dirt floor dying of the plague but isn't. [G: Literally.] And there's an image of a cell dividing. There's a graveyard. And then there's a Black man, who is the alpha vampire, and I remember hearing about how the alpha vampire is Black man, and people talking about that being a racist portrayal, which I think is true, nonetheless. But I am curious about if we see more of him later or if this is sort of it.

G: I don't know. I truly don't know. We'll see, I guess. [C: Yeah.] I'm not doing well in the "have seen this show many times" department. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] Or am I?

C: You're really not.

G: I have historically not done well on it. You have always known more about this damn show than I have when we talk about it [C laughing] in the episode-per-episode, so like, who even knows?

C: Yeah. And we're both- I feel like during our Supernatural Tumblr days, we were both logged on for about the same amount of time.

G: No, literally. [laughs] We were both logged on in the same hours, which is quite frankly impressive, even.

C: [laughing] Due to the time difference, yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: Right, graveyard classroom, little girl. He's beckoning towards her. There's like, twins. Both little girls. Their teeth are showing. There's like, a line of blood that he smears down both their faces or something. Blah blah blah. But yeah. Should we discuss the alpha vampire being Black? This feels like a bad choice. [laughs] I think it's a bad choice.

G: Why? What are the reasonings that you would put out for that?

C: I think, just, I don't know. I guess vampirism is like, sort of like a blood disease. I feel like the main allegory is either to addiction or HIV.

G: Okay, let's talk about that. Yeah, let's talk about that part first. This episode did make me wonder about like, the rise in the concept of vampires, it must be coming from something. It must be coming from a social anxiety of some kind. And yeah, I do think there is a line between those ideas and the fact that the alpha that the Supernatural is doing is Black. But yeah, go on.

C: Yeah. So yeah. Okay, I think this episode of vampires are mostly sexual predation. [G: Yeah.] And then I think addiction and like, bloodborne diseases, especially like maybe HIV or whatever are also things that have sort of created the vampire as we know it. And then Dracula originally was about like, fear of the foreigner mostly. And I feel like all of those things are things that can be related to like, negative ideas around Black men, so I think that's iffy. I think the fact that this is happening in the Sera Gamble-

G: Also, yeah. I don't know. I'm just uncomfortable again, because you said the Sera Gamble, and like the last Black vampire we got from Sera Gamble is, in fact, Gordon, and like, I don't know. Sera Gamble did not write this episode, and like we don't know if it's part of the script, like if they wrote that in. [laughs] I think it would be weirder if they did. [C: Yeah.] But I don't know. That is a choice that you make as a casting- If you look at the casting, if you look at the edit. You know, those are choices that you make. And like, we have talked about how this season, with the fact that with Raphael and like, just the regular episode-per-episode beat, [C: Yeah.] it's not looking good. [both laugh] And so it's not like a benefit of the- Again, I always say it like this, but it's not like a situation where you'll be like, "Okay, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt."

C: Yeah, yeah. Season 6 has a lot more Black characters, and most of them are villains. Yeah. It's just odd. It's just odd

G: And you have this episode that's running on the idea of- There's no like black vampire that we see this episode, aside from the alpha.

C: We see one in the lair. [G: Really?] He's not a recruiter. He's in the crowd of people who are jealous Dean's a recruiter, and then Dean kills him at some point later.

G: Ah. Yeah. I do feel like some- This episode specifically, the vision of a vampire that we were supposed to see is like, a young white person who's like, banking on the idea of being pale and white. [laughs] You know what I mean? And so I don't know. Etc, etc.

C: Yeah. And it's the fact that the alpha vampire is also like giving Boris instructions on what to do. So like, you have this Black man who's saying like, "Send out all your pretty white boys to like, turn teenage girls into sex slaves." I just don't think that's like, the look you want for this episode. [laughs] It's the sexual predation episode. And like, in these visions, like, I guess the people that he's turning are like, these little white girls in like, Victorian England or some shit, [laughs] and I feel like there's like a lot of fears about black men raping white women and white girls, as we've mentioned before, and like, that sort of plays into that, too. And I think the fear of the foreigner plays into this, too. So yeah.

G: It still bothers me so much the way they do the Gordon episode. 'Cause they play up that visual. They really do. [C: Yeah.] The idea of Gordon preying on innocent white women. [C: Yeah.] And so, yeah.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: You think it's Sera Gamble's fault? [laughs] I mean, yes, I think it is.

C: Yeah. I mean, I think, right, because Gordon is based off of another character in a different franchise who's Black, so she did specifically make him Black. Like, that was on purpose. And then she wrote the episodes with him in it?

G: Yes!

C: So yeah, that's all on her, baby. But are you talking about is it her fault in this season if she didn't write it? Not sure. I don't know what the showrunner's role is regarding mapping out things and casting, but I think she at least had the power to like, I think if she's overseeing this to go, "Huh. I don't know about this one, guys." And she didn't, and I think that means something as well.

The vision also shows a red circle on a map around Aurora, Illinois, apparently, so I guess that's where he is. So Dean wakes up, and everyone else has already gotten up, and Boris is releasing the girls from the cage to attack Dean.

G: The sic on Dean.

C: Yeah. Why would they do that?

G: Because they're animals, Crystal! [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah, that is what the episode is saying.

G: Yeah. They're attack dogs, is what they're doing.

C: Logically, they're not compliant yet, which means that they don't really have any loyalty to Boris, and Dean doesn't have human blood, so it's not hunger. So there's no actual reason, if you thought of them as people with thoughts and feelings, for them to go after him, but because they're being portrayed as attack dogs-

G: That's why I thought they were being drugged! I thought they were being drugged, that's why they were doing all this.

C: Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure it's just blood.

G: But like, Kristen isn't.

C: She isn't what? Like, animalistic? [G: Yeah.] Yeah. He sent her back to the cage to drink the same thing as them, though. So it's just that we saw her earlier, so they're like, "Well, we'll let her be portrayed as a person." [G: Yeah.] But yeah, I think there's no real logic to it. It's, as you said, just sort of the horror aesthetic of these hissing women.

G: It is fascinating that Supernatural shows that like, the turning can only be reversed if you haven't drank blood yet. [C: Yes.] I think they use it as a way to excuse this massacre that happens.

C: Yes, I agree, because or else, it's like, "Why wouldn't you just fix everybody?" [laughs]

G: Yeah. "You can only be fixed from monsterhood if you remain pure!" [C: Yeah.] I hate Supernatural. [laughs]

C: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So it's just a fight scene where a bunch of vampires are going at Dean, and he injects one with dead man's blood. He's going around with his machete, etc. And yeah, they do explicitly show him killing those teenage girls. Yay.

G: Yay. And then, like, I don't know. Sam and Samuel show up outside, they get attacked. We go back to Dean, and like, Boris says, "This doesn't end with us," or something like that. "This is bigger than the both of us." So more ominous stuff for the future of Season 6, I guess. And then, yeah. Eventually, Sam and Samuel come in, and, as you said earlier, dead girls strewn everywhere to greet them by the door. And then they head into the center of the place, and Dean is sitting with the head of the vampire underneath his foot. I find it so annoying. For some reason, I found this so- I just- I find it so annoying. And you know, Dean is like, he's clenching his jaw, and he's like, "I got him" or whatever. Or like, he says, like, "I'm good." Yeah. So fucking annoying. Hate it. I can't even articulate why. I just- I dislike it.

C: It's the specific brand of like, action hero, grim anti-hero trope.

G: Yeah, like, "He didn't want to be a killer, and he's damn good at it," [both laugh] you know?

C: Yeah. I think he wanted to be a killer, though. I think he did want to do that.

G: Literally.

G: Sam, Dean, Samuel are now in a fucking shed or whatever, and Samuel is preparing the cure, and it's like just a mug of like, very red tea. And there's like, bits and pieces of twigs and leaves in there, which I thought was pretty fun. And he warns Dean like, "Oh, just so you know, this is gonna be- it's not gonna be easy what you're about to do." And I was like, "Dude, what? You're gonna make him stay a vampire? What the fuck is this?" [both laugh] So Dean just drinks the potion, and at first, nothing happens.

C: But before he does that-

G: Oh, yeah, before he does this.

C: Sam just goes, "What did you see in there?"

G: Yeah. Sam's fucking interrogating him. And Dean was like, "Dude, I cannot fucking hear you because your blood is too loud, so let me drink this first." And at first, nothing happens, but then he vomits everything out, and Samuel says that like, "Yeah, he's like, vomiting out the bad" or whatever.

C: He draws out his machete, which I think makes no sense to me. [both laugh] [G: Yeah.] 'Cause he says, "Either the cure's working or Dean is dying." What's the machete for then? [both laugh]

G: To make it quicker! [C laughs]

C: Yeah, how nice.

G: What happens is Dean starts getting visions, and he starts going back through the time where he was a vampire, and then noticing things from a different perspective than he would have or something. And a part of it was the last thing that he sees is Sam standing in the alley right before he gets turned. And it's like, the Sam smirk. [laughs] So wonderful. It's the Sam smirk. And I do think this scene is shot well, and like, edited well and directed well, that it really does evoke in you the dread of the situation as we go to like, Dean's eye as he's completely still on the ground, and then it slowly pans up to show his face. And yeah. It's great. Especially because it's like, loud loud loud loud loud, and then the realization happens, and then it just goes completely quiet. It's pretty cool. I really like this scene. I thought it was like, well done. Anyway, he's back in real life. He's just reeling from what he found out. Man, what a horrible situation! I feel so bad for Dean, honestly! It sucks. And it's like it's the fact that even if he catches Sam in the lie, Sam just straight up goes, "No. You're wrong." [C: Yeah.] Yeah. [both laugh] Which is like, a different kind of bad. It's layers.

C: Yeah. It's 'cause Sam doesn't feel bad about it, so there's nothing that Dean can really hold on to regarding like, "Hey, stop that."

G: Yeah. And like, Sam doesn't even like acknowledge that it is something that happened or it is something that's done. And you know, it's such a huge- Even without the subtext of the episode where it's sexual assault, right? Like it is still a physical change that was imposed on him that is terrifying [C: Yeah.] and massive. And Sam literally just stood in the corner and gave a fun little smirk about it. Like, it's terrifying to think like, "I'm going to be in this in a car with this guy for like, forever." It's such a creepy situation, and I do enjoy it.

G: Yeah, anyway, so they're back at their motel, and Sam and Samuel, they're packing up. Dean goes out of the bathroom, and I also like the shot they do here. I like the directing of this episode. The shot they do is like, it's the door opening, and you see the room from Dean's perspective, and like, you know, Sam and Samuel in there. And I don't know, I think it just really evokes the unsettledness that Dean is feeling. [C: Right.] Anyway, so Sam starts interviewing Dean about what happened in the nest.

C: Yeah, he says the exact sentence that he said before Dean drank the thing. It was literally like, "Ugh, you were being so dramatic earlier, but I can ask again. So what'd you see?"

G: Yeah, literally. And Dean relays that they're getting orders via hallucination or whatever from their alpha. Oh, "a psychic thing" is what he calls it, from their alpha, and that he's recruiting, and that's what they're doing. They're recruiting people. They're building an army, just like BTS. And yeah. And Dean says also that, "Oh, we hunters, we don't scare them anymore."

C: I didn't- from where did he decide that that was the case?

G: I don't know. I truly don't know, honestly.

C: Boris is like, "I'll kill Sam if he comes here." But like, yeah, okay, you wouldn't be scared of one hunter if you had an entire nest. Like, is that new?

G: I don't know. Are they really banking on them- on like, monsters and vampires specifically being afraid of them?

C: Yeah, I didn't know that was part of their main strat.

G: Yeah. Well, anyway. They head out. I don't know. Samuel goes whatever the fuck he goes, and Dean is by the Impala, trying to call Lisa, but it's going to voicemail, but he doesn't leave one. He just hangs up. And Sam comes in and he's like, "Okay, how did it go with Lisa?" And Dean's like, "It didn't." And then Sam just goes, "Oh. Sorry!" [both laughing] He's kinda iconic. I keep on reiterating that this is such a terrible situation, but Sam is literally fucking iconic. [C: He is.] Dean goes, "Well, I mean, I've lost life as I know it, but you know, at least I always know that you're always gonna be on my side, and I can always count on you, no matter what. Right, Sam?" And Sam puts on his most fakeass smile that the world has ever seen. [C laughs] And he goes, "Yeah. Of course, Dean." And then he does a reassuring smile that is the creepiest thing in the world. I love it. I enjoy it so much.

C: Yeah, I love it when men lie.

G: Well, what did we think about this episode?

C: Um, nah. I would rather not have it. Yeah. [laughs]

G: The thing is like, it's unfortunate because- knowing like, if you remove all the parts of the episode that are well, fundamental to it, [C laughs] it is a pretty good concept. It's an amazing concept of like, the main concept of "Sam lets Dean get turned," and it's like, creepy and nefarious. That's such a fun thing in the episode, and I greatly enjoyed all the parts that are about that. But yeah, the rest of it is- Well. [laughs] Yeah. I don't know. I just wonder, like, what is Supernatural trying to do? And the thing is like, a part of me, I've mentioned it in the past, but like, a part of me does feel sometimes, like, "Am I just a complainer who loves to complain?" Just because Supernatural is doing something that is like they're trying to portray something that is bad doesn't mean that they agree with it or whatever. And obviously, they don't agree with all this.

C: Yeah, they're anti-sex slave. Or anti-sex slavery, but.

G: The aspects in which they approach this are like, wrong. [laughs] But like, I don't know. I don't agree with it, and that's the problem. The victim-blaming part of it, the way that they portray it in specific ways wherein you're not supposed to empathize with these girls. Like, yeah, their thesis is “Sex slavery is wrong. You can't just kidnap girls and turn them into prostitutes.” [C laughs]

C: They're so brave for saying that.

G: And like, yeah, well, I agree. And then also, you put these girls in cages and specifically delineate between the girls in this place and the men in this place- because that is the delineation. It's girls and men. And the men in the situation, I don't know- not even that they have agency or anything, but they're just like, human beings that you're supposed to look at- well, "human." They're vampires that you're supposed to look at and think of as people and capable of intellect and capable of thought and capable of blah blah blah, but the girls do not get any of that at all. And it's just, I don't know. It's just a fascinating example of trying to say something and then just like, falling face flat in a pile of shit. [C laughs] Like, what is this?

C: Yeah. I don't know, man. Brett Matthews, explain to me. Please.

G: And this is not new for Supernatural. This is literally our complaint about 6.03, right? That’s the one where Cas goes like- What's that? “The Third Man.” [C: Yeah, Aaron Birch.] Yeah. That is our complaint about how they handled the police brutality thing that they were trying to address in that episode. Like, yeah, they tried to do it, and it's not an inherently bad thing to talk about these things. It's just that the way they talk about it completely lacks, I don't know, like, anything. No nuance, no substance, nothing new to say, nothing- you know. It's just, what are they doing?

C: The idea that the victims are just like, well, it happened to them. That's bad. We're now done with them. Like, yeah, there's no idea of humanity or a future for these people.

G: “These girls are so stupid and horny, and that's why they're now in cages!” Like, fuck off. [C: Yeah.] Yeah, anyway. [laughs] Best Line/Worst Line? [both laugh]

C: Best line. Was there a line where I was like, “yippee!” at any point?

G: Well, I'm not sure. Best line. I do enjoy the part with Lisa in the beginning, like, when Dean was calling Lisa, [C: Yeah.] and Lisa's enthusiasm to see Dean. Wait, I'm going to look up actually, what she says. Because at some point, Dean is trying to say, “Oh, yeah, I'll do this first, I'll do this first, yeah.” And then the entire time, Lisa is like, “Yeah, okay, yeah, okay.” And then at some point, she just goes, “Okay, Dean, whatever! I understand that you have to do all these things, but can you just like, get your ass here?” And I thought that was so cute that like, you know, they have all of these logistics to get through, but the fundamental of it is that Lisa is just so excited that Dean’s gonna be there.

C: Yeah, I also liked that scene. I liked the affection we got to see in their relationship, so I'll just go with that one too. Or Sam's, “What?” [both laugh]

G: Literally. His very theater kid who is so bad at it, has no future in this career whatsoever, "What?" So important. We've talked in the past that Dean and Lisa don't really have a lot of affectionate scenes together, and the one time they have sex, it's a dream. [both laugh] So like, I don't know. It is fun to see all this, I think. Just, they like each other! And now Dean is going to be so miserable forever because Lisa is not answering his calls because he went there as a vampire and then pushed her in the wall and then pushed Ben in the wall. [both laugh]

C: Yeah, kind of on him with that one. [G: So yeah.] Yeah. And then Cas is gonna wipe her memory at some point. [G: Yeah.] Yeah, where is Lisa's role in the rest of this season? Do they make up after this? Or is it fully just like, she's just there as someone that monsters put in danger to motivate Dean to do things now?

G: I don't know. [laughs]

C: Yeah. Well.

G: A surprise to no one. Yeah. Well, worst line.

C: A lot of them.

G: I think I just hate all of the lines when they were in that damn room of the girl, and they kept on- [C: Yeah.] I just thought the making fun of Twilight thing is corny, tired, and played out for Supernatural.

C: Yeah, and how that plays into the victim-blaming of it all. [G: Yeah.] Yeah, I agree.

G: Well, spreadsheet. Spread those sheets.

C: Yeah. I think there's misogyny that's inherent to the episode. [G: Yeah.] How high?

G: Okay. Misogyny? 4, I would say. [C: Mm-hm.] Racism-

C: I think the alpha vampire being Black is an issue. It's hard to know what number of points it is until- Are we gonna see him more?

G: Who knows? I mean, I could probably look it up. I think we will! Let's see. We will.

C: Okay, yeah.

G: Oh, yeah! We will definitely!

C: Okay.

G: That's so weird! Because like, when I was watching this episode, I didn't really see it clearly, so I didn't recognize him. But yeah, I recognize this guy completely! [C: Okay.] I didn't recognize him this episode. He's gonna be here a lot. [C: Oh, okay.] Yeah, we can reserve our other complaints, perhaps, in later episodes where he's prominent.

C: Yeah, once we have more of him. But yeah, I think there's still an amount of points to be assigned just to the mere fact.

G: 1? 2.

C: I was thinking 2, yeah. [G: Okay.] And then we'll get more as we go. Homophobia, there was the scene in the bar of the guys kissing and Dean looking disgusted, [laughs] and then the glitter line, so that probably totals to like, a 1. Is that a 1 or more?

G: Yeah, I think it's a 1. [C: Yeah.] I think, you know what? The fact that they had two guys kiss, maybe that cancels out the 1. No, it doesn't.

C: It cancels out Dean looking disgusted at it?

G: No, it cancels out the 1 in the 2, so there's still the 1, yeah.

C: I see. Yeah.

G: Yeah. Well.

C: Alright. IM that Db.

G: I can't believe they gave Jensen Ackles a good episode for his debut directing. Like, of course it’s gonna be highly rated, and it's gonna get good reviews. [C: Yeah.] Like, it's a fucking gimmick episode. Fuck off. [C: Yeah.] Sorry! I mean, it's fine. Jensen Ackles can direct if he so desires. Okay, IMDb. I would say this one is low. Okay. Do you guess, or am I first?

C: I'm odd.

G: You are!

C: Yeah, okay. I agree that this is low. I think this is going to be a sort of polarizing episode. I don't know. Um... 7.8. 7? 7.7.

G: Yeah. 7.7. [C: You?] Me? I'm going to go 7.9.

C: Okay. You're gonna be right. You've been right every time so far, right?

G: Have I been?

C: The closest every time.

G: Oh, well, I have been closer every time, but I've only been right once, I think. Okay. Let's see.

C: Watch it be so high.

G: Oh. It's an 8.3.

C: I fucking hate everybody. Is everyone like, "It's soo funny!"

G: "Nice parody and mythos?" Not true.

C: What?

G: It says it's a "nice blend of parody and mythos." [C: Hm.] It says, ��surprisingly atmospheric and completely intriguing.” I do think, as I've said, I do love the bare concept of it. It's just what they do with it is- And by bare concept, I mean not the Twilight part. The Sam and Dean and Sam being a horrible person part of it.

C: Yeah. This person says for the parody that the jokes mostly land without them being too mean-spirited or sour. I don't know about that.

G: Oh, this one says, "I never watched any show that left me with that much horror before as this episode did. What started out to be a casual vampire hunt, turned out very shocking, disturbing and catastrophic. The season started out with the amazing 'Beautiful loser' track [C laughs] and it is indeed Dean that is loosing every thing. Didn't only loose his family but also his trust for his younger brother." [laughs] Love it! Love losing trust for your younger brother. "We all know something is very wrong with Sam this season, but seeing him watching his brother turned into a monster, not stepping in to help him and only watching with a smirk was very disturbing." Oh, these people are saying that Samuel is getting more interesting. "first he knew a cure for Djinn poison now for a vampire's, but still that most troubling question: who does he work for and who brought him and Sam back?" So true. [C: Yeah.] You know what? This one says,Kudos to Jared Padalecki for pulling out such an interesting character change on our beloved Sam and turn him into that cold uncaring dick masterfully." I do agree. I think it is pretty cool the way Sam is acted. [C: Yeah.] Oh, this one brings up the part where Samuel goes, "turns out there's a Campbell in him" or something about Dean, which is, I think that is interesting. I just fail to find Samuel interesting in any regard whatsoever.

C: Yeah. [laughing] Sorry, this last 1 out of 10 review, [G: "Gross!"] "I don't know what was more disgusting of this episode, [G laughs] Samuel's bald head or fat stinky vampire's face"?

G: There are more disgusting things this episode, I assure you!

C: "I wonder do producers choose the most disgusting actors and more them even less bearable in purpose"? So, okay, yeah, I think there are worse things in this episode than people you consider ugly being in it? [laughs] What does this mean? Yeah, and then they said that what's dead must stay dead.

G: This has 26 downvotes, and I support that. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] 0 upvotes, 26 downvotes. Love it.

C: I think they didn't want them to do any new vampire episodes after “Dead Man's Blood” 'cause that was like, the peak or whatever.

G: I do think there is an aspect to like- I've said this earlier, but just to reiterate, or I don't know, approach it from a different way, there is like an aspect to vampire that is close enough to human that they can just portray it as like a bunch of people that are menacing, which is what they do in “Dead Man's Blood,” I think. They had that group of vampires that were just like hanging out on the side of the road, threatening Dean or coming up to him. Is that the one where John says that “We should send Dean out as bait” or something? [C: Yeah.] Well, yeah. And I do think with Supernatural, they tend to approach the vampire in that regard. That is how they do it, as creepy humans who are sex traffickers or whatever. [C: Right.] I don't know. I just think that's something to think about. I wonder what other- can you think of other monsters that they do that with?

C: Crossroads demons?

G: Yeah, but they treat crossroads demons, at the very least, having some sort of keeping to their word or whatever. You know what I mean? And because they don't come in a group, there's no power in number that they do with the crossroad demon as well, which is a lot of the vampire thing that they do. The point of a vampire is the nest. Yeah, I just find it interesting, the social dynamics of the monsters in Supernatural. [laughs]

Well, that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing 6.06, "You Can’t Handle the Truth." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts, and yes, we are trying to release every week now, [both laugh] something we’ve never done before.

C: Is the next one the aliens one? The fairies one?

G: Yes.

C: Hell yeah. Follow us on social media! I love when Dean's homophobic. We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript #one catchup transcript a day goal going okay so far. let's see how long i keep this up #hope you all are doing well! - crystal :)

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