#gretchen was actually my dream role!! i didn’t get the part but it was still really fun

[yourfaveisanavatar]

Gretchen Weiners from Means Girls is an avatar of The Eye (that’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of trauma to feed to the ceaseless watcher)

gretchen wieners from mean girls is an avatar of the eye!

[takerfoxx]

Here's the next part of the Walpurgis Nights girls watch The Rebellion Story, this time stretching from that upside-down reflection conversation to Homura and Kyoko's wacky bus trip.

Reminder:

G=Gretchen

H=Homulilly

Op=Ophelia

Ok=Oktavia

Ca=Candeloro/Mami

Ch=Charlotte

...

Ca: Okay, so, is everyone ready?

Ch: Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about losing my shit. I’ll try to keep it together.

Op: No, by all means. I’d say you’re entitled.

G: I mean, if I found out that I was a tiny, living doll that turned into a giant worm, I’d be upset too!

=Charlotte sighs deeply=

G: Oh. Sorry.

H: It’s a fake.

G: Eh?

H: All of it. The whole scenario. We’re caught in a super-witch’s labyrinth, or some kind of virtual reality simulation, or a shared dream.

Ok: Like the Matrix?

H: The what?

Ok: Oh, I’ve got to show that one to you. It’s this old movie from the world of the living about how all of humanity are trapped in this virtual world because machines have taken over the planet, and they use people’s bodies as living batteries or something. And-

Op: Tavi, starting to ramble.

Ok: Sorry. Anyway, there’s like three different recreations out there. Personally I like the one from Madd Dogg Studios the best.

Op: Because of all the sex.

Ok: Yeah, the other two don’t have those. Shame, really.

Ch: Okay, hold on though! If all that is some kind of weird simulation, then why am I there? By rights if you guys never turned into witches, I should be dead! You should’ve killed me, and then I would be comfortably here in Freehaven while you guys sit around singing songs to severed heads inside of demented teddy-bears!

G: Well, if there’s no witches in this world, then maybe we never fought you in the first place.

Ch: But I’m clearly a witch!

G: Yeah, that is weird.

Ca: Let’s find out.

…

Ok: You think that all of this being in an upside-down reflection means anything?

H: Yes. That it’s a fake.

Op: You are not going to let that go, are you?

H: Just watch.

Op: Have you seen this before?

H: Obviously not.

Ok: Well, this version of Candeloro is just as on it with her tea game, I see.

Ca: Some things never change.

Ok: Like Ophelia’s dislike for sour stuff, apparently.

Ca: It’s her tradeoff for her ungodly tolerance for spicy.

Ch: Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s not as high as she makes it out to be.

Op: Hey, who exactly ate those dockengaut viper peppers without flinching? Me, that’s who!

Ch: You literally had to the hospital and grow your tongue back.

Op: But I didn’t flinch.

…

Ok: They really like showing us around the town.

G: Do any of these locations mean anything?

Ca: Well, that’s the school, so I suppose-Huh?

G: UM!

Ok: Why is everyone’s faces suddenly horribly disfigured?

Ch: Are they melting? It looks like they’re melting.

Op: Yeah. And…ours are fine?

G: See! You two are sleeping in class! I told you that having a party right after fighting that Nightmare was a bad idea! Growing girls need sleep!

Op: Honestly, I’m more concerned about the horrific burns on everyone’s face than I am about our counterparts’ unhealthy sleeping habits.

H: HA! Called it! It’s a simulation! None of those people are real! We’re the only actual people here!

Op: Hey, credit where it’s due, you did call it.

G: Looks like Hitomi’s real too.

H: Oh, goody.

G: So’s that guy with the silver hair? Who is he?

Ok: Oh, so that must be Kyousuke!

Op: That was who I was up against? Huh. Well, he’s…pretty.

Ok: I always wondered what he looked like.

Op: …so?

Ok: I’m sure past me thought he was good-looking, but I still think I traded up.

Op: Darn right, you did.

…

Ch: So who took the time to make food in the shape of your heads?

Ok: You know, between this and Hitomi, there’s a lot of severed heads going around.

=Candeloro frowns and feels her neck=

Ch: You okay?

Ca: I’m fine. I just got the weirdest feeling of déjà vu all of a sudden.

Ok: Who wants to bet that the one with all the bags of junk food for lunch is Ophelia?

Op: What? Why me in specific?

Ca: That one must be mine.

Ch: Well, at least I get my own severed-head snack now.

G: Right next to Kyubey.

H: If there was any justice in the world that would be his actual head.

G: Still. Those soul-gem treats are pretty creative.

Ca: Oh, wait! Never mind! That’s Homura’s lunch.

Ch: Homulilly? Why are you eating my face?

H: Don’t ask.

Op: And of course I snatch Blue Raspberry’s soul-gem!

Ok: Even then, you couldn’t keep me out of your mouth.

Op: AAANNNDDD the rat just ate it. Huh.

Ok: Oh, that makes me so uncomfortable.

Ch: And we get a close-up of me looking like a lunatic. Thanks, movie.

Op: I mean, that is a pretty accurate depiction of your face whenever you get anywhere near a piece of mozzarella.

H: All of this making me incredibly uneasy.

G: What is?

H: The slow pace. The lack of audible dialogue. The somber music. Something is up.

Ch: That’s all kinds of deliberate.

H: Well, at least this other me can tell that something’s wrong.

Op: I for one am incredibly disappointed in the rest of us. Everyone in the city has their faces burned off. That ought to at least raise a few red flags.

…

Ok: AAANNNDDD it’s gone all weird again!

Ca: Okay, this is obviously a witch’s labyrinth. They’re not even hiding it anymore.

Ok: Except from us. Like, are we blind?

Op: Oh, hey. It’s me. A lunch date?

H: I doubt it.

G: Is any of this normal? I mean, I know Freehaven is strange to newcomers but normal to us, so in this world, is it normal to just hang out on a floating island filled with chairs and tables with really long legs while blimps fly by in formation?

Ok: To say nothing of that freakshow going on down there. What are those? Those creepy little girls and the guy with the wind-up box?

Ca: Witch’s familiars.

=everyone looks to Charlotte, who is nonplussed=

Ch: You know, I’m actually okay with being the villain. At least that would make sense!

Op: You better get some kind of redemption arc and a weirdly sexually charged gunfight with Candeloro.

Ch: That would honestly make up for everything else that’s happened so far.

Ca: I don’t know. All of this looks very witchy, but it wasn’t what I remember from your labyrinth.

…

Op: Hey. Teenaged me. Wake up and smell the bad drug trip.

Ch: Why do you guys have so many cups on that table? Do you have a drinking problem or something?

Op: Look, shit is weird. Don’t judge our coping mechanisms.

G: Is it just me, or is there a bunch of random objects just falling out of the sky all around you?

Ok: Is it just me, or did that blimp have to come literally out of the river to fly at that angle?

H: This is getting progressively more dream-like.

Op: Nice crotch-shot, movie. How come I don’t get the boob or butt camera like Candy and Tavi?

Ch: Do you really want us to answer that question?

Op: I’d prefer if you didn’t.

H: Anyone else notice that the number of cups keep changing?

Op: Like I said. We all have our own ways of coping. Don’t judge.

…

H: Well, at least I’m noticing that something’s off. Even if I’m completely blind to the obviously bizarre stuff going on all around me?

G: Oh, so it’s going to be like a mystery story! And you’re the detective!

Op: And I get to be the sidekick. There are worst roles, I guess.

Ch: I guess that means you’re the main character after all, Lilly.

H: Thank you, but I’d really rather be the lead of a completely different movie.

…

Op: And off we go, on our wild adventure!

H: Beneath endless stone bridges. I mean, seriously. If either of us wanted proof that something was wrong, all we have to do is look up.

G: If this is a fake world you’re trapped in, you’re probably programmed to not notice that anything’s wrong. You know, like how we never really how strange dreams are until we wake up.

Op: Oh, what the hell. The bus is dropping us off in this fever dream? WAKE UP, IDIOTS! WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FREAKY!

Ch: They’re not even hiding it anymore.

G: You know, I can’t help but wonder if this world was always this strange, but that since the first few minutes were from our point of view all the weird stuff not having to do with the Nightmare wasn’t shown. But now that Lilly’s noticed, the weirdness just keeps coming out more and more.

Ch: I would not be surprised.

Ca: I think we can all collectively agree that despite whatever the witch turns out to be, this is all Kyubey’s fault, right?

Op: Fine by mean.

Ok: Agreed.

H: I wonder where all those fake people are going.

Op: I’m just going to assume that there’s a big meat grinder at the bottom of those stairs.

G: Ew.

…

Op: Oh, that’s not right? THAT’S NOT RIGHT? YAH THINK?

Ok: Of course you would be tipped off by the wrong destination but not by the field of hazy red filled with windmills.

Op: Turn left? We were supposed to turn left? HOW CAN YOU TELL? THERE’S NOTHING THERE!

Ch: That does bring up an interesting point. I’m assuming that you’re just blind to the weirdness because it’s got you trapped. So, what is it that you’re seeing?

G: Probably just a normal road, I guess.

Ok: Well, what did you expect taking the loop line?

…

Ch: Okay, so there’s a clear divide between the big, empty, red field with the windmills and the mostly normal looking city.

H: A very loose definition of the word “normal.”

Ch: Well, yeah, but you know what I mean.

H: Like I said. It’s not real.

Ch: We know, I’m just trying to pick out details.

Ok: Hey, girls. Don’t get on the creepy bus.

…

G: If at first you don’t succeed…

Op: Come on, other me! Get a clue!

H: I notice the field is blue now.

Ch: Probably to signify the change from day to night.

Ok: That bus driver is weirdly okay with a couple teenaged girls jumping onto the front of his bus and yelling at him.

H: He’s a fakedy-fake-fake.

Ok: We know! It’s called commentary!

H: Sorry.

Op: “Crossroads”? “Left fork”? How can you tell the difference! It’s a bunch of shiny tiles and windmills!

G: Plus that giant tower made of pipes!

Op: That was probably where we were heading. Giant tower made of pipes.

Ok: Wonder where the ramen shop was.

Op: Third pipe cluster from the bottom.

Ch: Hey, girls. Word of advice. Don’t walk into the scary, blank void.

Op: I know they can’t see the weirdness, but I still feeling like yelling at them.

G: Oh, hey! It’s normal again!

H: They were brought back to the city.

G: Well, relatively normal, at least. With a really tall bridge and giant moon.

…

Op: So…are we about to kiss or something?

H: Obviously not.

Op: I don’t know. You’re holding me awfully close.

H: I’m just trying to keep you from doing something stupid.

Op: If you say so.

…

Op: Oh, hey. If we didn’t have enough problems, it’s a zombie apocalypse.

H: All with our faces, I see.

Op: Somehow, that’s freakier than if they were just the classic rotting kind.

Ca: Obviously a defense system put in place by the witch. Once one of its prisoners start to notice that something’s wrong, the familiars come in to stop them.

Ch: You know, as much as the early parts weirded me out, I am really starting to dig this! I mean, sure, the cake song was…a thing that happened, but now there’s a reason for the weirdness! There’s a mystery! There’s set-up and atmosphere! It’s not just weird for the sake of being weird!

Ok: I’m pretty sure there’s some of that.

Ch: Well, sure.

H: You do remember that with the way things are going, you’re probably going to be revealed as the villain, right?

Ch: I am okay with this.

…

Op: And the zombies leave after I change my stance?

Ok: Those hips don’t lie.

H: More of they sensed that you weren’t resisting anymore.

Op: Might want to rephrase that.

H: You made it dirty. Not me.

Op: At least this me is starting to wake up. So you have at least one bad bitch supporting you.

H: I feel so much better.

G: Oh, hey! Even then you did that thing where you give people candy as a sign of affection!

Op: I’m honestly surprised that more people don’t do that. Honestly, most problems would be solved if people just gave each other candy all the time.

[ohpenelopes]

                    i mean i could be aesthetic but instead i'm just pathetic

ALISHA BOE? No, that’s actually PENELOPE “PENNY” BROWN-PATIL from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of LAVENDER BROWN and PARVATI PATIL? Only 21 years old, this HUFFLEPUFF alumni works as a BARISTA and is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SELF-PITYING, A PERFECTIONIST, and INSECURE but also FLEXIBLE, GENTLE and IMAGINATIVE. 

LINKS – pinboard, stats. CHARACTER PARALLELS – jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ), chloe gemell ( my mad fat diary ), mini mcguinness ( skins uk ), engel beekman ( skam nl ), cassie howard ( euphoria ), emaline ( everything sucks! ), gretchen wieners ( mean girls ), caroline forbes ( the vampire diaries -- earlier seasons ), kelly kapoor ( the office ) AESTHETIC – star shaped hoop earrings, drawing hearts all over your notes, needle pricked finger tips, unapologetic femininity, a loud and cheerful laugh echoing through a hallway, pinky promises, heart shaped sunglasses hiding hungover stained eyes, movie nights with popcorn and rose wine, drowning in the sea of your own thoughts HEADS UP – this intro has mentions of anxiety, but i’ve marked all of these with a trigger warning! <3

backstory ( 2008 - 2026 )

penny is born penelope lyra brown-patil --- penelope, for the woman who not only waited faithfully for her husband’s return for years, but who tricked many man in the process; lyra, for the constellation (because the stars are so wise) --- and as the second (and eventual middle) child to lavender and parvati

and she grows up happy. her childhood is peaceful and wonderful, filled with fun days and laughter. there’s not much out of the ordinary --- it’s stable and beautiful, and penny longs for those days quite a lot.

at some point, she learns of the things her parents went through at school, about war and rebellion and fear. penny admires her mothers more than anything --- she’s scared of this world, of this past, but she’s filled with admiration and a bit of fear that she won’t be able to live up to that. (she doesn’t have to, of course --- there’s no pressure or reason to, but still; she wonders about it, and she can’t shake the thought.)

anxiety tw | though life was stable and good, penny has always felt very uncertain about ... everything. insecurity has never been a stranger to her, nor has anxiety or pressure. she has high expectations of herself, expecting nothing short of the best --- and when she failed as a child (whether it was in playing quidditch on toy brooms or when drawing or when trying to sing perfectly), she would throw tantrums. she got help for this as a child after she had her first full-blown anxiety attack, but it never really faded. | end of tw

her interests as a child mostly range from princess stories to drawing elaborate things to cutting out pretty outfits from fashion magazines. she’s gentle and quiet and excitable when she wants to be, a whirlwind of pink and smiles and tangled long hair

at hogwarts, penny is sorted in hufflepuff (though the hat did consider ravenclaw) for her spirit. she doesn’t mind not being a gryffindor like her parents once were (or, at least, she doesn’t later on; at first it just seems like an affirmation that she’s not as brave as they are), likes how yellow compliments her eyes and fits in quite nicely among the puffs.

anxiety tw | teenagedom is a tough time for her. it seems like everyone is able to juggle it all, and then there’s penny: unable to keep up good grades and look pretty and have an exciting social life and have enough sleep. she feels like she’s drowning in all the expectations she has for herself, feels like she’s the only one on this world who is suffering (she’s prone to a woe is me mentality, for sure) and so hides it all behind perfectly curated smiles. her insecurity has always been strong, but it grows. she drowns them out by pretending. end of tw

in those years, she should be learning who she is, but in stead, penny learns how to be what others want. she shifts and shapes and bends herself to match others expectations --- she’s loud and funny and excitable among her peers, grinning widely and flipping her hair, appearing confident and extroverted and completely at ease. sometimes she’s quieter, a more gentle and softer being, lovely and quaint. she’s a model student (minus the amazing grades) to her teachers, a kind older housemate to the first years, a tough bitch when situations call for it. and sometimes it feels genuine, this person she’s showing off, and sometimes it all feels like a play. it depends, on her mood, on the role, on the weather, on the stars.

and you know what? it works. for most of the time. and then sometimes, it doesn’t, and there’s nothing to do but cry endless tears in her bed and be the most melodramatic person in the castle. alcohol tw | this happens when she’s drunk most of the time, to be honest --- penny is such a messy drunk. end of tw 

penny also developed a taste for fuckboys during this time. she wanted to feel loved, she wanted to be touched, to be desired, and part of her was desperate --- but that didn’t make it okay for guys to treat her that way, period. i would get into this more but i don’t feel comfy about doing that akdjssdf. 

when she turned fourteen, she got a sewing machine for her birthday. the next schoolyear, she dragged the thing behind her into the castle, unable to part from it after a summer of sewing. penny had always been interested in fashion, but now she was able to take it to the next level.

the dream to become a fashion designer grows and grows and grows, and penny is quite handy with the sewing machine, and her designs aren’t half bad, but of course it’s a stupid dream --- because penny doesn’t believe in herself, not yet at least.

post-graduation life ( 2026 - now )

penny graduated with one ambition only (see above) and no faith in herself. she became a barista, telling herself that she would work on her self esteem, that she would build herself up and become stronger and ready, that she would work on her portfolio and her design skills and that she would practice and work hard and ... that’s where she’s been for the past few years.

not much has changed, to be honest. penny still feels like that lost teenager, and in a certain sense she is --- she has just gained a slight bit of maturity, has moved out and has started working. her sense of self is still incredibly fragile, as is her self esteem, and while she’s trying to improve it, she just hasn’t found the right way to. 

she feels so stuck. she feels so frozen. she feels like she has no clue who the hell she is, and she doesn’t know what to do about changing that. another part of her doesn’t even want to be thinking about these things, and just wants to have some fun --- once penny graduated, she definitely started partying more sfksjdfhsdkjfh. party girls dont get hurt!!!!! and like, on one hand, that’s all completely fine, because this is the time for fun and self discovery, and who says you can’t do both? 

the timeclash kind of turned everything upside down. it did for everyone, i imagine, but that’s not really how penny sees it (woe is me! why does everything bad always happen to me!!). she’s so scared sakjdf. scared to see her parents and to be a Big Disappointment because she’s scared of the fact that there’s suddenly a war (like, what the fuck?), because she doesn’t want to fight, because she doesn’t even know how to fight!!! 

she’s a coward lmao, but a coward with Standards (lookin at you peter)

i mean, if it came down to it --- if she had to protect her friends or family --- she would fight, of course. she’s just not very good at combatical magic, or at strategy, or at anything war or rebellion-related, really (except for smuggling booze into hogwarts, i guess, but that’s something of the past). and that’s fine, if you ask me, but penny doesn’t think it is --- but that doesn’t mean she’s going to push herself to be braver or to do more

personality & details

jfc i rambled so much up there, time to get a bit more coherent up in this BITCH

penny is such a mess. i have a hard time talking about her sometimes because she’s so messy and because her mood and her energy fluctuate so much --- she can be high energy and extroverted one moment, and completely down and sad the other. 

did i ... project myself .... onto penny?     maybe. partly.

she’s a bit of a chameleon, really. she’s very adaptable and flexible and willing to change for the comfort of others, and she thus feels like she has a small sense of self. this is true, to a certain extent. i think she’s too focused on finding herself that she doesn’t see that she’s already found herself a little, that there are parts of her that are genuine. she’s so hard on herself, expects so much, she’s just ... completely blinded by her own doubts, tbh.

and she’s def a sad bitch and a messy bitch, but she’s so much fun. god. penny just loves laughing and being happy and doing fun and cute stuff! she likes good things! so much! she tries to be such an upbeat person and she can be and agh. i love her like that.

such a romantic. pls stop her. her idea of love makes her so blind and deaf and she always falls for dumb boys :( but skfjshdf she just loves romance! and romantic comedies! and romance novels (tho she struggles to focus on books properly, ngl) and just ... pink hearts and all that fuzzy stuff

when she got her job as a barista, all she thought was that it might just bring her the perfect coffee shop romance

she’s an idiot

she usually just goes by penny, but not because she dislikes the name penelope --- she thinks it’s a really neat name, to be honest (a bit poetic and mysterious), but penny has just been her nickname for so long that she doesn’t want to make people call her penelope. BUT she does want to be referred to as penelope when she gets famous, thank you very much.

regarding that: penny wants to be famous dskfjhdsf. a famous designer, of course --- but she just likes the idea of fame altogether as well!!! 

she takes that dream and ambition seriously, in a way. she plans to take serious steps soon (but she’s been saying that for years), always waiting until she feels ready to put herself out there. the idea of being rejected is just ... massive. the idea of not succeeding, of flopping, is so terrifying, that she prefers sticking with her dead-end job, for now. she has been sewing a lot after graduation, and i imagine she constructs a fair amount of her outfits herself (and does the same for friends), but that’s it, and she’s such a Coward about it

when she buys fashion magazines, she always gets two copies so she can use one for cutouts so she can make collages and moodboards

aEsThEtIc QuEeN!!!!

no really though, she has such a good sense for aesthetics. knows what colours and fabrics and prints mesh well together, always looks on Point, etcetera. 

idk what to say this intro is such a gd mess bc i wrote everything from scratch and i kept changing my mind about things and while penny is a Very old muse, i changed a LOT oops!!! 

[ko-chan-the-blueberry-donut]

O Fortuna Chapter 5: Prisoner of Guilt

Disclaimer: Don’t own Miraculous Ladybug

------------------------------------

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re the big, flashing signs that something needs to change.”

—Gretchen Rubin

---------------------------------

Chapter Five: Prisoner of Guilt

“Well well—if it isn’t Marinette the pain Cheng.” Chloe sneered, Sabrina and her snickering as Marinette entered the classroom. Marinette buried the lower part of her face in her white scarf, as her cheeks lit up in a blush. She clenched her hands into fists inside her pockets of her forest green sweater, wishing she could be anywhere else.

“Leave her alone, Chloe.” Alya glared, walking up to stand beside Marinette. “If anyone’s a pain it’s you.” Chloe crossed her arms.

“Hmph, at least I have friends unlike her.” She pointed at Marinette like she was something dirty.

“Chloe I swear—“ Alya started, but surprisingly it was Marinette who cut her off.

“By choice Chloe—unlike you who is just a nasty person.” Marinette told the blonde, getting irritated that everyone keeps bringing up her isolation. She chose this life—so what if Adrien and Alya have a problem with it? It was how she chose to live. It was that stupid Miraculous’ fault. If it never came into her life she would be able to make friends with Alya. Perhaps she would’ve found a best friend in her. However, the guilt snarled at her, clawing at her heart like a disease, and it reminded her of her place, and the punishment of isolation she deserved.

Chloe and Sabrina gawked that Marinette actually chose to stand up for herself. Alya burst out into laughter and placed an arm around Marinette’s shoulder. She didn’t notice Marinette wince a little at the contact.

“Good one! Told you good always triumphs evil.” Alya cheered. She looked at Marinette with gentle eyes. “heard you went to Nino’s dj gig the other day. Sorry I wasn’t there.” She told the raven haired girl. Marinette smiled, minding her manners, when inside she just wanted to run away.

“Oh it’s no trouble.” Marinette replied.

“I heard you met Ladybug and Chat Noir! That must’ve been interesting, huh?” Alya commented, a knowing glint in her eyes. Marinette wanted to laugh at how Alya snuck in her alter-ego so casually. If Marinette didn’t know her secret, she would’ve just thought Alya as a fan.

“Mm. It was. They are amazing.” Marinette complimented sincerely. She thought that superhero life suited Alya well. She wished more than anything she could tell her everything. If only she could reveal that she thought very highly of Alya, and that was why she couldn’t bring herself to be near her, thinking too low of herself for not accepting the burden of being Ladybug and pushing it onto another.

Alya grinned and examined her, her arm still around Marinette’s shoulder.

“Hmm, your sweater matches his eyes…” she whispered conspiringly to the raven haired girl, who blushed.

“I don’t think it so. Adrien’s eyes are more of a summer green or emerald shade.” Marinette commented. Alya’s grin spread in glee.

“I never said it was Adrien’s eyes.” Alya told her, while Marinette blushed and dug her nose into her scarf in embarrassment. Alya laughed and patted her shoulder.

“Relax, I was just teasing. I heard about him visiting you yesterday so I wanted the full scoop. Blondie never tells me anything.” Alya pouted. Marinette couldn’t help but giggle at her expression.

“He just wanted to hang out…” Marinette told her, smiling softly, remembering how nice Adrien was. Her heart pounded at the thought of him and she could feel her cheeks blush. As much as she told herself to forget about any chance with Adrien, she couldn’t help but feel this way. She wanted to scream and curse, but the feelings were imprinted in her heart. Alya couldn’t help but gaze at her, studying her intently, the cogs turning in her mind, but before she could come to any conclusions, Marinette snapped out of her trance and stepped out of Alya’s hold. Alya and Marinette both couldn’t help but miss the warmth of their contact, but Marinette crushed those thoughts, reminding herself of her place. Alya, on the other hand, felt herself wanting to reach out more, confusion overtaking her, and her desire to understand Marinette even more fierce.

Did she do something wrong to push Marinette away? She didn’t know. Ever since the day she met Marinette, she’s been hot and cold to Alya. She won’t seek her out, but she won’t be rude to her either. It’s like she’s guarding herself against something. All Alya wanted to do was help her, but she didn’t know how. If only Marinette would just talk to her, then she could make it better. She was Ladybug—she’s known for doing the impossible. She could fix anything with her Miraculous Cure, but when faced with Marinette, she felt so helpless.

‘What good is being a superhero when you can’t even help out a friend?’ Alya mourned in her mind. Before Alya could perhaps ask Marinette any of these questions, Madame Bustier walked in, and everyone was ushered to their seats. Alya and Marinette sat next to each other, the latter taking out her notes and ignoring the girl beside her as usual. Alya continued to discreetly watch her sadly, not knowing what to say or how to pursue a conversation with her during class. Nino looked back her from his seat, noticing his friend’s negative expression before they headed to their seats. Alya didn’t bother noticing, too busy in her thoughts. His eyes drifted to the midnight haired girl, who was engrossed in her note taking.

He wondered why Marinette seemed to distance herself. From what he saw, Alya was always nice to her and so was he and Adrien. She just seemed like she didn’t want to indulge in their company. A protective feeling surged through him—he wanted to tell Alya Marinette wasn’t worth it if it hurt her so much, but he knew Alya would just get upset with him pushing her away from trying to be Marinette’s friend. Maybe she would listen to Adrien if he talked to her about it, but it seemed that Adrien wanted the same thing Alya did—they both wanted to get closer to Marinette.

Marinette was a nice girl, don’t get him wrong, but there was only so much one could do to pursue being friends with someone until it got to the point where you get that the other person doesn’t want to be friends. But then again, there was something about Marinette that seemed to pull them all in—like a moth to a flame. It was like she was hiding so much of herself that everyone who met her wanted to uncover it, wanted to know her. The more she hid, the more they wanted to know. Marinette wasn’t always this closed off. She was a clumsy, kind girl that happened to be in his class, but ever since Alya and Adrien showed up, she changed.

But was it really because of Alya and Adrien? It didn’t make sense. Marinette was always nice, even if avoidant. She appeared to have gotten along with Alya at first before suddenly backing away, and Adrien told him she forgave him for the gum incident, so why was she so distant with him? It didn’t make any sense. What if it has nothing to do with any of them why Marinette changed? What if something happened at home she doesn’t want to talk about? Nino’s head spun with possibilities and scenarios so fast it was making a headache form.

‘All this thinking is not good for my brain…’ he groaned. He cracked his neck and looked at the front of the classroom, not wanting to dwell on the problem for the time being. However, his thoughts couldn’t help but rear their ugly head when Adrien arrived late from a photoshoot. The blonde handed a note to the teacher and walked to his seat, but Nino caught the stray glance to Marinette’s form before he sat down. Nino wanted to bang his head.

‘These two will be the death of me’ Nino mourned in his head. He jumped a bit when he felt a piece of paper brush against him. Careful not to call attention to himself, he opened it, finding it was from Adrien.

I have good news! My dad wants to have you guys over for dinner. Adrien wrote. Nino didn’t know whether to find that news as good or bad, mindful of his encounters with the older Agreste.

Dude, you sure your dad didn’t get replaced by an alien? Nino wrote back, discreetly passing him the note. Adrien snorted and shook his head, writing his response.

Is it so hard to believe? He wants to get to know my friends—finally he’s acting like a real dad.

Alright, so when do you want me and Alya over? Nino wrote to him.

This Friday. Oh, and there’s also another person he wants me to invite…

Nino’s eyebrow rose as his gaze turned to look at Adrien. Adrien sheepishly smiled and jabbed his thumb behind him, right where Marinette was jotting down notes. Nino had to bite his cheek to keep himself from groaning. It appears the day Adrien and Alya will quit trying to be Marinette’s friend is a distant dream.

Dude seriously? If I didn’t know you and Alya were together I would say you’re trying to date Marinette.

He passed the note and he heard Adrien made a choking noise, his face red as he scribbled his reply furiously.

Nino, Alya and I are NOT together! She’s like my sister! And Marinette is an awesome person—of course anyone would want to hang out with her. I hung out with her yesterday. Anyway, be at my place around five on Friday evening, okay?

Nino sighed and put the note away, thoughts swimming while he turned his attention to their teacher.

------------------

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief as she managed to avoid Alya, guilt swarming her heart. She wanted to pull at her hair in frustration at how her heart and mind are pulling her in different directions. She wanted to be close with Alya, but her past guilt for giving up the Ladybug miraculous and forcing it on another wouldn’t let her. Her fear of being discovered for her failure at being a superhero gnawing at her conscious to the point of making her paranoid.

‘I wish those stupid earrings never came into my life!’ Marinette groaned inside her mind. Her loneliness though chose it’s time to seize her heart. Maybe she could… No! She started shaking her head and banging her fists on her skull to rid her of those thoughts. Solitude! Solitude! Solitude!

So engrossed in her thoughts she didn’t noticed she walked straight into someone. She stumbled back with an “eep” and struggled to balance herself. Looking in front of her, she saw it was Nino with an eyebrow raised in confusion, clearly having witnessed her banging her fists on her head. Then his expression turned stern and he cleared his throat.

“You. Me. Lunch. Now.” He gestured firmly. Marinette just blinked, never seeing this side of Nino. He didn’t give her a chance to respond as he grabbed her wrist and started dragging her to a local café. Marinette’s eyes bugged at the gesture, not used to people touching her, and tried to dig her feet into the pavement. However, Nino noticed and turned to look at her.

“It’s about Alya and Adrien.” He told her. With that, Marinette stopped her struggling, worry consuming her. Was something wrong? But why consult her? Shouldn’t he be asking someone else who knows them better? Fear tugged at her that something had happened in their lives that she didn’t know. Her kind heart won in the end, and she followed Nino into the café without a fuss.

---------------------------------

The air was thick for Marinette as she nibbled on a piece of cake on her fork, aware that Nino was watching her with a serious expression. She squirmed in her seat, afraid of what he was thinking.

‘This is so awkward! I wish he would talk’ Marinette lamented in her mind. However, she would push through it if it was to help others. She just wished Nino didn’t watch her so intensely. It was making her paranoia act up more than usual.

“I don’t get you.” Nino said, startling her. She jumped a bit in her seat, and put down the fork. Heart pounding, she told herself to have courage and gaze directly at him.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You act like you don’t want anyone, especially me, Alya, and Adrien, to be your friends, but as soon as I mention they could be in trouble, you immediately come to lunch with me even though it obviously makes you uncomfortable.” Nino told her. Marinette blinked.

“I—“

“Don’t even try to protest, dude.” He held up his hand. “I saw you this morning talking with Alya—you even came to my gig on her invite. Let’s not forget you apparently hung out with Adrien yesterday.” Marinette’s face exploded into a blush. Nino narrowed his eyes. “You always do this. You brush us off and then you do stuff that makes it seem like you wanna be close. You’re sending my friends mixed signals.” He scolded.

“I’m not—I don’t mean to…” she protested weakly. Anxiety bubbled up in her system and she wrung her hands together to try to rid herself of it.

“Look Marinette, I’m not trying to be mean or yell at you.” Nino said. “I think you’re a pretty cool person, but I can’t have a crush on someone who can’t make up her mind and leads my friends on when they’re being sincere.” He admitted. Marinette’s eyes widened.

“You… I’m sorry… I didn’t…” she let out, shocked by his admission to his feelings. Nino shook his head with a smile.

“It’s okay. I know you don’t feel the same, and I don’t want someone who doesn’t treat my friends right.”

Marinette looked down at her lap, guilt swarming in her body like a disease. Her shoulders slumped, her actions becoming clear to her. She wondered how Alya and Adrien must’ve felt all those times she brushed them off and then looked like she was giving them a chance only to brush them off again. Her hands gripped the fabric of her sweater to the point of her knuckles turning white.

“Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say.” Nino said, taking out money to pay for them both. “Thanks for listening.”

Marinette nodded and gathered her things, not bothering to wait for Nino to say she could leave, and hurriedly leaving the café. She ran around the corner, leaning against the wall of an alleyway, panting hard. The guilt and worthlessness crawled through her veins, screaming at her at how deplorable she is. She slid down the wall and brought her knees to her chest. She hugged her knees close to her, burying her face in them.

‘Great, now I am a jerk AND a failure.’ Marinette blinked tears away. She shook her head. She didn’t deserve to cry. Nino was right. She was being indecisive and dragging others into it. Back when she first gave up the Ladybug Miraculous, she told herself she would be fine with the solitude. She was always alone. She never had close friends, and she knew she never would if she needed to protect herself.

But she got a taste of what having a friend was like before she got the miraculous, and it continued to tantalize her even after she told herself she was meant to be alone so others couldn’t see her mistakes. Her failure to protect the citizens of Paris. Who would want a friend who shifted responsibility to someone else just because they didn’t want the duty themselves?

‘Alya and Adrien do…’ a voice reminded. Marinette violently shook her head.

‘they wouldn’t want to be if they knew the truth!’ Marinette argued. If Alya knew she threw her responsibilities on her for being Ladybug she would hate her. No one enjoys that pressure put on them. And Adrien… he wouldn’t want to be friends with someone so pathetic. She was sure of it.

‘But just because you get closer to them doesn’t mean they’ll find out. You can hide it.’ Her heart threw back. Marinette blew her hair out of her face in frustration. Could she really do that? She didn’t think of herself as a good actress, but maybe she could get close to others without them knowing of her mistakes?

“I saw you this morning talking with Alya—you even came to my gig on her invite. Let’s not forget you apparently hung out with Adrien yesterday. You always do this. You brush us off and then you do stuff that makes it seem like you wanna be close. You’re sending my friends mixed signals.”

Nino was right. She needed to stop going back and forth. She could do this—she could stand firm and live in solitude. She wouldn’t lead them on anymore.

‘Or you could let them in…’ her mind argued. Marinette stood up, shaking her head. She pulled at her hair and wanted to scream at how she couldn’t seem to be strong and let go of the possibility of friendship.

“Marinette?” a voice called. Marinette snapped her head to in front of her to see Adrien, Alya, and Nino standing in front of her. Adrien and Alya were watching her with worry while Nino stood back, intently watching their interaction. Adrien stepped forward and wiped a tear from her eye. Marinette jumped, not realizing she was crying after all.

“Are you okay, girl?” Alya asked in concern. “You didn’t come back to class so we were worried and Nino told us he saw you around here.” Marinette looked at Nino, who gave her a shrug. So he didn’t tell them about his conversation with her...

“I… I’m fine.” Marinette lied. Her fists were clenched at her sides, anxiety churning in her stomach like a tsunami. This was it. She had to tell them to stay away from her. She shoved the other part of her mind that was urging her to take their offered companionship in the back of her head. However, before she could speak, Adrien beat her to it.

“Are you free Friday?” he asked her. Marinette looked at him confused and he put a sheepish expression on his face as his hand rubbed the back of his neck. “My father… he wants to have you over for dinner to thank you for saving his life. Alya and Nino will be there too so you don’t have to be afraid of my dad!” Adrien reassured her, knowing she was very skittish. Marinette looked over all of them, Nino’s words ringing in her mind. She had to reject this.

Yet, when she gazed into Adrien’s hopeful emerald eyes, the words died in her throat. She remembered how nice it was to spend time with him getting fabric. How warm he made her feel. She looked at Alya, also looking hopeful, and guilt overcame her at how many times Alya had tried to get close to her and every time Marinette brushed her away in order to protect herself.

“I…” she started. Her eyes locked onto Nino’s who gave her a knowing stare.

‘I can’t do it…’

She couldn’t reject them. Not like this. She didn’t think she could do it again. She didn’t want to be alone anymore.

‘Just hide your secrets. They will never know.’ Her mind whispered, and Marinette felt herself caving, the desire for companionship too strong to ignore.

“I… would love to, Adrien.” Marinette told him. Adrien’s face lit up like it was Christmas and grabbed her hands.

“Really? You mean it?” he asked excitedly. Marinette nodded, weakly smiling. Alya cheered and hugged her.

“Don’t worry! We can pick out outfits together so we impress Mr. Stoneface.” Alya promised her. Marinette felt so warm in her arms. She felt like she could stay in Alya’s embrace forever. She missed the touch of affection she had from friends. It was so comforting to know you’re not alone. The guilt tried to capture her in its hold but she pushed it away, choosing to bask in her decision for friends. Behind Alya, Nino gave a smile and a thumbs up, to which Marinette gave a small smile.

Maybe there was hope. Maybe she could let others in.

Maybe she could do this after all.

-----------------------------------------------

Tom and Sabine couldn’t contain their squeals when Marinette entered the bakery with a girl with auburn hair and glasses. Marinette gave a sigh as she mourned that her parents would never be normal when it came to having people over.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Dupain-Cheng! I’m Alya—I hope it’s okay for me to be here.” Alya introduced herself. Sabine and Tom couldn’t stop grinning in excitement.

“Oh honey, call us Sabine and Tom! And it’s no problem at all!” Sabine told the girl. Tom nodded.

“Yes, feel free to come by anytime!” Tom added. Marinette rolled her eyes. Was she really so pathetic in social interaction her parents were happy about anyone coming over?

“My room’s this way.” Marinette spoke, gesturing her to follow her. Alya grinned and the two climbed up to Marinette’s room. Once there, Alya looked amazed at all the designs and pieces of fabric that decorated the room.

“You make clothes?” Alya asked in awe. She brushed her finger tips over the half made dress Adrien helped her pick out fabric for. “I knew you were good at designing from the hat competition but I didn’t know you were this good.” Marinette blushed bashfully.

“It’s nothing special.” Marinette denied. Alya grinned and laid an arm across her shoulders.

“Nonsense! When you become famous be sure to hook me up, okay?” Marinette gave a shy smile and nodded. Alya hugged her.

“Awww you’re so cute! Come on, let’s see what clothes you have so we can wow Adrien’s dad.”

Marinette sat on her bed as she watched Alya picking through her closet, a little nervous. She invited Alya over because she couldn’t bear going over to her place—to see where Tikki now called home—without feeling immense regret. She knew Tikki was in Alya’s bag, and she felt remorse that she had to return to Marinette’s room, even undercover, knowing what had happened here and how she was rejected. She wondered if Alya knew about her and Tikki’s relationship. Judging by how Alya was very affectionate with her, she doubted Tikki said anything about Marinette being the past Ladybug. Alya wouldn’t be treating her so nice if she knew how weak Marinette was.

“Do you have anything more fancy?” Alya asked her, bringing the blue haired girl out of her thoughts.

“Never needed to be.” She replied. Alya face palmed.

“Not even to impress a boy? Come on! Don’t you wanna wow Mr. Agreste? He is your future father-in-law, right?”

“WHAT?!” Marinette gaped at Alya, who was looking at her with a too innocent expression.

“What? You haven’t thought about marrying Adrien?” she continued playing dumb, but Marinette could swear Alya was laughing it up in her head.

“I—No!”

“Really?” Alya smirked, letting her true nature show. “Adrien’s a good looking boy. Very nice, successful model, smart—you’re telling me you haven’t fantasized about being our favorite golden boy’s girlfriend?”

Marinette choked on air as her face erupted into a bright shade of red. She then got a hold of herself, telling herself she wouldn’t be that fangirl she was before pinning over someone who wouldn’t like her back. She narrowed her eyes.

“No—and besides, you’re his girlfriend. Why ask me what I think about Adrien?” she pointed out. Alya just blinked at her, staring in shock.

Suddenly, her shoulders shook and she burst out laughing, doubling over. She was laughing so hard she almost fell to the floor in her mirth. Marinette gazed at her in confusion, wondering what was so funny. It wasn’t until Alya straightened up her posture and tried to explain.

“I’m sorry” giggle “but I thought Nino was the only one” laugh “who thought that crazy assumption.”

“Eh?” Marinette titled her head. “You mean… it’s not true?”

“God no!” Alya exclaimed with a grin. “Golden boy is like my brother! I would never think of him that way.” She told Marinette, who was now blushing in embarrassment.

“But… you always hang out together… and disappear together…” Marinette tried to salvage herself, but Alya just laughed and winked at her.

“Trust me—Adrien and I are NOT like that.” Alya joined Marinette on the bed, taking her hands from her lap and held them to her chest. “I’m sorry for prying. I just thought you and him would make a cute couple so I couldn’t help but tease.”

“C-couple?” Marinette’s ears turned red. She looked away from Alya’s earnest amber eyes that reminded her of molten honey. “It’s not like that… believe me.” She said sadly. Alya caught her tone and squeezed her hands comfortingly.

“I know we’re just starting to get close, but if you ever want to talk about boy problems or anything at all, I’m here for you, Marinette.” She smiled. “I’m sorry I’m so intrusive and pushy—I’m just so excited we’re finally talking.” Marinette gulped down the guilt in her throat, preventing herself from spilling everything to Alya right then and there.

“Me too.” Marinette admitted truthfully, smiling meekly. Her heart clenched, but she would not alert Alya of her feelings. She found herself relishing in Alya’s presence, basking in it like being engulfed in a cozy blanket by the fireplace with a good book. Alya grinned at her and pulled her towards Marinette’s closet.

“Come on, help me pick out something for you! You’re going to be the prettiest girl at the dinner if I can help it.” Marinette hugged her, then releasing her, smiling.

“We’ll be the prettiest. What’s a person’s looks without having their friend looking just as good by their side?”

---------------------------------------------------

Gabriel gazed upon the sunset, shoulders straight and resolve strong. Friday seemed like it crawled to get here, but it was here finally. If he were a lesser man, he would be sweating bullets or biting his nails, but Gabriel Agreste was nothing if not a cool, composed man. Many would find his quiet, but proud presence intimidating, but there was a time he wasn’t this stoic. This stone faced, but those times are gone, and so was his naïve self.

He held the peacock miraculous to his chest, finding comfort in its presence, despite not being able to use it. Soon, the peacock miraculous would belong to another. It would no longer be dormant and lifeless.

‘Is this what Fu felt like when he gave us our miraculous?’ he wondered. Despite his selfish reasons, he wanted to see Duusu live again—to be used and allowed to shine again. He wondered if this is how Fu felt about choosing successors not just so good could be done, but so the beings inside them could flourish for eternity.

“Father?” Adrien knocked on his door. “It’s almost time. Are you ready?” Gabriel looked towards the door and back at the pin, before tucking it away in his coat.

“Yes. Yes it is.” He said.

---------------------------------------------------------

“How do I look, Tikki?” Alya asked, twirling in her orange knee length dress. The dress shade went from a bright orange to a dark orange at the end of the skirt. She placed on nude colored heels and checked herself out in the mirror. Tikki smiled and wave of approval while she ate a cookie.

“You look wonderful, Alya! I’m sure Nino will notice.” Tikki encouraged. Alya grinned as she blushed a bit.

“Yeah! That doofus is bound to notice me dressed up like this. If only Marinette could come over so we could get ready together.” Alya sighed, fixing up her hair into a french twist. She didn’t notice Tikki’s downcasted expression when the blue haired girl was mentioned.

“Are you sure Marinette won’t back out?” Tikki asked sadly. Alya looked at her kwami confused.

“What do you mean, Tikki?”

“Well… just… don’t get too hopeful with Marinette when she was so closed off before.” Tikki advised. Alya smiled and took Tikki in her hands, rubbing her head affectionally.

“You’re being paranoid, Tikki. I know Marinette didn’t want to get close to us before but she’s giving us a chance. Let’s give her one in return.” Alya told Tikki gently. Tikki smiled weakly and nodded.

“Yes! You’re right.” Tikki agreed. She flew over to Alya’s cream colored purse. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah!” Alya grinned, and grabbed her things. With that, her and Tikki were out the door.

---------------------------------------------

“I don’t know about this…” Marinette mumbled, twisted her fingers into the pink fabric of her dress. She wore a nice rose pink knee length dress with cherry blossoms embroidered into the bottom of the skirt, and a sheer white shawl. Her parents smiled at her as they all stood in front of the mirror.

“Oh honey, you look so adorable!” her mother gushed, as she finished up Marinette’s bun. Tom nodded.

“Yes, you’ll be sure to impress—just don’t impress the boys too much.” He teased, winking. Marinette blushed and kicked her father in the shin with her pink heels.

“Papa! It’s not like that!” she told him. Both parents giggled.

“But that Adrien boy was so nice—be sure to bring him back her again, sweetie.” Sabine said, kissing her cheek. Marinette buried her blushing face into her hands.

“I’m going to go now.” She said, running out while her parents bid her goodbye through giggles.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Suits: She's Gone (6x11)

Okay. So. I'm happy and I'm not. I don't know what's going on with this show right now, but there's this one character who's just getting... assassinated in terms of development. And no, it's not Louis. It's not Rachel. It's not even Donna...

Cons:

It's Mike. I want to start this review by discussing the one very big problem I had with this episode. That's not to say that the episode was all bad, because I actually liked everything it's setting up, and I think we've got a promising half-season ahead of us. But then there's Mike. What has this show done to him?

We see that Mike is trying to strike out on his own, and help people. He doesn't want to work for Harvey as a consultant, even when Harvey basically begs him to come back. He wants to get his own work. The trouble is, he knows that nobody is going to take him seriously in the legal field now that he's a convicted felon. I'll talk in the "Pros" section about his time as a teacher through his church, which I quite liked, but then we get to the problem. See, Harvey tries to help Mike by going to Anita Gibbs, and asking her to endorse Mike as an ethical candidate for the bar. This backfires just as badly as you'd expect, and Anita actually shows up to Mike's place to tell him off and promise that she'll do everything in her power to stop him from getting a degree. So what does Mike do? He goes to Harvey and he yells at him. He tells him that even if he does end up with a law degree somehow, Specter Litt is the last place he'd ever come to work. He tells Harvey to stop screwing up his life, and storms away angrily.

Like, first off, this is an overreaction. And secondly, it's building on something I noticed a lot when Mike was in prison: he's kind of an ungrateful little shit. Whenever something isn't going his way, he gets really mad at Harvey. And Harvey, although flawed in myriad ways, is actually a saint when it comes to dealing with Mike. He bends over backwards for the kid, neglecting his other responsibilities and reaching out to people he hates just to try and help Mike however he can. And Mike never sees it. He never appreciates that Harvey would do anything for him. In fact, he knows that Harvey has abandonment issues, like, actually serious issues, and he not only refuses to come back to work for him (which I'm totally fine with, by the way) but actually yells at him and basically tells him to f**k off. Why, Mike? Why?!

In my reviews of the prison arc, I discuss Mike's anger towards Harvey, and how that could have been an interesting avenue to explore. Maybe Mike is lashing out because he still subconsciously blames Harvey for his situation, even though he was the one who decided to fall on his sword. But they're not exploring that angle - they're just making Mike come across as a jerk! This episode is so full of Harvey caring about Mike and missing Mike and loving Mike, and I couldn't even enjoy it properly because I was so annoyed at Mike for being a dick!

Pros:

That being said, let's talk about the rest of the episode. Hopefully I won't ramble on quite as much.

Mike ends up taking a job through his old church, teaching a classroom full of delinquent kids. Predictably, he doesn't do a good job at first, and when the kids find out he was in prison, they all taunt him and don't take him seriously. I thought this story was going in a very predictable direction, where Mike would come in and tell them all about the horrors of living in prison in order to whip them into shape. Instead, however, Mike tells them all the truth about why he's replacing their old teacher: the old man is dying of cancer. Mike had him as a teacher when he was younger, and they spend the class sharing stories about the man. In the end, one of the parents finds out that Mike is a felon, and unfortunately he's not welcome to continue teaching.

I liked that this plot thread didn't do exactly what I expected it to. I also thought the kids were realistically disdainful of Mike. He does look young and sort of gullible, and it makes sense that he wouldn't be able to get their respect right off the bat. But instead of doing an after-school special where Mike is able to change their lives, he lets the memory of their old teacher do that for him, as they all share in something together. Of course, it doesn't really go anywhere, since Mike can't keep the job. It's almost a shame, since it was kind of nice to see Mike as a teacher. But of course that wouldn't provide very good momentum for the show as a whole.

Rachel, meanwhile, is facing a dilemma. She's about to become a lawyer, but she's anxious about passing the ethics section of the bar, due to her continued relationship with Mike, and her desire to work at the firm that hired him. Her father offers her a job at his firm. Robert Zane not only has a more stable job for Rachel, he also has a job that will cast less suspicion on her ethical integrity, even with the nepotism angle considered. It's an interesting dilemma, and I'm glad that Rachel didn't get all righteous or unreasonable about the whole thing. She honestly considered her situation, and then made the choice we all knew she would make, when Louis makes her a formal job offer.

Speaking of Louis, he does his predictable song and dance, wherein he goes off the handle and messes up, and then tries to apologize. What I sort of loved about this, though, is that it was used as an opportunity to show how Harvey is going off the deep end, too. Louis and Harvey are both floundering without Jessica, and it shows. Basically, Louis works with Katrina to poach Robert Zane's associates, and he actually succeeds, with Robert Zane's blessing. But he almost screws up by trying to go after one of Zane's clients as well, not realizing that Robert is actually trying to be helpful. In the end, he pulls back and goes to talk to Harvey to tell him that he's not ready to be managing partner, and that Harvey should definitely take the lead. But before he can do that, Harvey is screaming at him about undoing everything Jessica worked so hard to create. It's a brutal scene, and it's one that feels earned and logical. You can see how both of these men are struggling to hold up the kingdom without their supreme queen Jessica Pearson.

The best parts of this episode are in the quiet moments. As a resolution of Rachel's plot thread, Louis offers her a job and she accepts. As a resolution of Louis's plot thread, he succeeds in recruiting a new class of associates, and then he goes to Rachel and offers her the job - as a second year associate. It's a beautiful gesture, and they even share a hug. I love how these two stories converge in that perfect moment.

Gretchen and Donna both fulfilled their typical support roles, yelling at people when they needed to be yelled at, comforting them when they needed that. I'd be annoyed, but I really do enjoy seeing both of these women get shit done, even if the way the need to do that is by blending in to the background sometimes. And Donna certainly didn't start the episode in the background... we see Harvey having a dream where he and Donna are sleeping together, and she brings him coffee in bed. The dream turns into a nightmare when she says that she can't work for him now because of their personal relationship, and she basically taunts him about Jessica being gone.

That brings us to Harvey Specter, who once again is getting a generous amount of nuance. It makes me even more bitter about the bludgeoning of Mike Ross's characterization, but I'm still happy that Harvey's getting such a good examination. Basically, his abandonment issues have come back, full force. He essentially says as much to Donna. He yells at Louis after the altercation with Mike, clearly devastated at all the people in his life suddenly leaving him. Jessica is gone, and Mike, who he just worked so hard to free from prison, isn't coming back to work with him. Donna brings up Harvey's mother, saying that he needs to reconcile with his family while he still has a chance. His work family can never fill the void. This is really insightful of Donna, and it brings a whole added element of drama to the show.

I guess I'll stop there. In summary, if it weren't for the way Mike is acting, I think I would have really, really loved this episode. As is, I liked it a lot. I'm still excited for what's next. But I do hope that Mike and Harvey patch things up... I don't want any more drama between my boys!

8/10