#green grass and high tides

[myimaginaryradio]

Green Grass And High Tides - The Outlaws

Good morning and happy Saturday.

I'm stuck working a full day today. It's gonna be a long day so today is gonna be jam packed with long songs. Maybe not all long songs but we will see. Enjoy.

Be Safe Be Kind And Be Awesome

[demac9]

The Rolling Stones - Play With Fire (Lyrics On Screen)

[bodhrancomedy]

A Lament for the Beaches of My Childhood (The North is Where I Long to Go)

If I can’t find a stony beach, I’ll die.

Not golden sand, not beautiful waves

Just rocks

And stones

And driftwood

An inlet like a scar across the landscape

Jagged cliffs and screaming birds -

I’m sick of “beauty”, sick of “soft”

Give me grey and brown and black and cast down skies

Let it rain, that steady mournful stream.

I want to fall and cut my knee

And limp up scrubby dirt-green hills of heather

Gorse and marram grass

All sharp and salt-windswept -

Ugly places lie across my heart like a bruise

I miss them. I want them.

I want to hold the chipped and scratched-up stones against my lips

And kiss away the beatings of the ocean grey -

Where’s the granite? Where’s the slate?

Where’s the shale beneath my feet? I want

to cradle cracked and cast-off things

Forget the beauty and the picture-perfect golden grains

Give me back my wild-flung stones, my broken shells,

The dull, miscoloured-shapen pebbles shaken by high tides.

Give me rocky beaches or I shall surely die.

Bodhrán M

[rainbows-r-nice05]

Frozen Camera

I watched Rise of the Guardians and fell in love with Jack Frost because he is my baby. Anyway here is something I just whipped up and I know it's bad but I needed to so it to ease my mind.

I hate studying, I really do. My mind tries to focus but it drifts into dreamland. Dreaming of the impossible. Fighting dragons, ruling a kingdom….....finding true love. But enough about that. To relax a little, I decided to go read a book outside. Since it was Christmas time, I picked up the story about all the different kinds of Christmas characters. It was night time so I made sure to bring some blankets out. As I stepped outside on my back porch, coldness engulfed me. My porch was spacious with lawn chairs and a brick pillar on the side that leads into the grass. Oh, how beautiful it was. Christmas lights dance around my neighbors backyards across the lake connecting them. Lights from blue and white to red and green. The fountain was still going as the wind danced through it. I sat down in order to enjoy reading a bit into my novel. This section was about the famous Jack Frost to whom I believed in when I was a little kid. But not anymore since I am a junior in high school.   About 10 mins into my book, I absentmindedly start singing a famous Christmas Carol.  

God rest ye merry gentlemen

Let nothing you dismay

Remember Christ our Savior

Was born on Christmas Day

I heard distant barking of dogs nearby which was normal. And the rustle of plants that were caused by the wind.  

To save us all from Satan's pow'r

When we were gone astray

Oh tidings of comfort and joy

Comfort and joyI

Oh tidings of comfort and joy

All of a sudden, my ears perk up at this crinkle or a sound of frost covering something. Like a tingling sound of some sort. I looked around and saw one of my security cameras had frost covering the lens. 

“That's weird,” I muttered to myself as I stood up, set my book down and walked toward the camera. Over the lens it looked blueish with little snowflakes covering it. My curiosity got the best of me so I decided to go inside and get a ladder. (The camera was on the ceiling). I got the ladder from the garage and walked back outside. I opened it and climbed all the way to the top. I looked closely at the camera and scratched the frost off of it. Somehow, the frost just would not come off. 

“OH GOS-,” suddenly I lost my balance and was headed toward the ground. 

“Gotcha,” I was caught by someone who was levitating off of the ground and wrapped my arms around this persons neck. It seemed to be a boy around my age who had piercing blue eyes and platinum blond hair. His skin was pale white and freezing for that matter. His dazzling white teeth showed as he smiled lovingly at me. My goodness was he handsome.  

“Woah…” I was too starstruck to even comprehend what was happening. 

“Lost your balance, there sweetheart,” the mysterious man said.

“You-your-you…” 

“Jack Frost is the name,” he said as he lowered me to the ground. 

“Oh my goodness.. It's really you,”

“Of course it's me, alive and in person.” His smile…. Is so…..loving. I finally got a good look at him and he was wearing a blue hoodie with some light brown pants. He was indeed barefoot as he was Jack Frost.  

Oh my gosh.  OH MY GOSH The Jack Frost in front of ME!!!

“And what might your name be pretty girl,” 

Pretty girl…. I flushed deeply at that. I smiled sheepishly as I introduced myself. 

“(Y/N) (L/N) at your service,” as I extended my hand out for him to shake. 

He shook it softly and his hands were beyond freezing. 

“Wait, what are you doing here?” I was so puzzled as to why he was here. It was December right, but it does not even snow over here. 

“Oh.. Well…” he walked around with his staff tapping the bird bath with it and it froze solid. 

“I got quite bored while I was patrolling so I decided to fly across a random area where I found a beautiful singing voice in this very backyard.”

As if I could ever be more redder, my face would be a tomato. 

“What were you doing out here,” he said as he pointed his staff at me. 

I gently pushed his staff out of my face and raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, It is my backyard” I started to walk around him. 

“But if you want to know, I was reading a book.”

“Oh… interesting” 

“Y’know, you have a very nice backyard,” he stated as he walked around and faced the lake. 

“And a very nice show you get to watch.” 

I giggled lightly at that. 

“Oh yes, Christmas is the best time of the year when I get to sit outside in the cold and light a fire. I see all the Christmas lights in their glory.” I smiled at last night's occurrence which was just like how I described. 

“Well, isn’t that nice,” he said as he gazed at me. 

All of a sudden I hear this ringing noise that sounds jolly. Jack takes a small device out of his hand and looks very disappointed. He verbally groans. 

“Wish I could stay, but Santa needs me.”

“You mean North,” I say out of the blue

“Wait how do you-” 

“Jack,” I giggle a little, 

“Might want to go see him” I say as I step in front of him pointing at the device smiling. 

He smiles as he is about to fly away. 

“Wait!” I put a hand up signaling him to not go yet. 

“Will I ever see you again?” 

“I’ll make sure I will see you again, snowflake.” He says as he takes my hand and kisses it with his cold yet soft lips. 

I smile and yet again, I flush at the nickname. 

He then flies away and I am left alone outside. I walk back to the camera and see that the frost has disappeared. I smile as I walk back inside. I gaze back out across the lake where I think of the many events that Jack Frost will show me. 

thinking on a part two maybe or a milti series thing idk yet lol

I have to get back to studying though

[liamonyaoi]

the rolling stones - high tide and green grass (1966)

[mothertaeraesa]

zb1 maknae line as studio ghibli characters

pairing: maknae line × gender neutral reader

genre: bulletpoint format, studio ghibli au, fluff, slight angst

warnings: none

word count: 1.7k

author's note: these scenarios are loosely inspired by each of the characters and their respective movies, as well as all of these can be read as platonic or romantic

maknae line | hyung line

shen ricky | haku, "spirited away"

Your chest heaves in slight panic, as you bring your knees towards you for at least some kind of protection

One moment, you're traveling with your parents to your new home and everything is going fine

And then the next, you're stopping and heading towards a tunnel that popped you out at an alley filled with lanterns and food stalls

Now, your parents are pigs and you feel hopelessly alone

It causes tears to prick the edges of your eyes, and you bury your face into your lap with a shaking head

This has to be a dream, this cannot be real

Maybe if you tried hard enough, you'd wake up in the car with your parents talking to one another while this was all just from a midday nap due to the exhaustion of moving

But you try to concentrate on waking up and nothing happens

You had already tried to cross back through the tunnel, but the high tide had blocked off the path

Just as you're about to allow them to stream down your face, the snap of a twig and the heavy rustle of bushes has you freezing and on high alert

Turning your head towards the intruder, you're about to let out a scream, but the young boy is two steps ahead of you and covers your mouth with his hand, effectively silencing you without a peep

He squats beside you and presses his side into yours, bringing his own finger to his mouth to signal for you to keep quiet

You're too paralyzed with fear to disobey and can only nod, as he seemingly pauses and waits for something to pass

After a moment, the stranger removes himself from you and digs around in his clothes before holding out a bun for you

When you turn away silently, not wanting to take food from a stranger like your parents had, the boy insists and places it into your hand

"Here, eat this. It'll keep you safe." He speaks for the first time, voice low before he pulls out his own and takes a bite

You hesitate, tears finally falling once more at how overwhelming everything is, and the bun is too warm and smells too comforting not to eat any

"Do you know your name?" The boy asks once he notices you slowly taking bites from the bread

"My, my name is Y/N," you manage to whisper with a sniffle

"I'm Ricky."

kim gyuvin | pazu, "laputa: castle in the sky"

Clutching onto Gyuvin's waist, you keep your eyes screwed shut as you try not to think about how high up you are

While heights usually wouldn't be an issue for you, the turbulent lightening storm had really tested your limits

Burying your face into his back, you murmur for him to let you know when things have calmed and it's safe to look again

The boy just hums in acknowledged agreement, as he tries to fly you both to the agreed-upon location

He hoped that things would go smoother from now on, and the two of you would have no more issues on your way to Laputa

Some time passes by as Gyuvin navigates and you hold onto his back for dear life

"Y/N, I think we've arrived." He finally says, landing cautiously and tapping your shoulder lightly

Pulling away, you take in the sight of the lush fauna around you both with a hitched breath

Laputa was more beautiful than you could imagine despite how deserted it was, but then again, the place had been viewed as a myth and almost secret utopia

Gyuvin glances over at you with a grin, admiring how awestruck you were by everything

"C'mon, let's go check it out," the boy suggests while getting out of the plane, helping you as well

The green grass feels plush beneath his feet, and he can't help but be in disbelief himself

Taking his hand, you drag Gyuvin after you with a laugh that he immediately reciprocates

Neither of you could finally believe that you had made it and were finally here

All of the cat-and-mouse chasing with Goliath had finally been rewarded with the final destination of Laputa

You both hurry over to the edge, gazing down at the clouds and paths below

A friendly robot passes by, and both you and Gyuvin give it a tiny wave before glancing at one another and giggling quietly

Intertwining his hands with yours, the boy tugs you along the field, pulling you into him and his chest

You hit it with a tiny thud, but Gyuvin catches you and wraps his arms around your waist, protecting you while you two hit the ground with a laugh

He keeps his arm out for you to rest on, as you lay on your backs for a much needed break and watch the clouds role by

park gunwook | sho, “arrietty”

Park Gunwook was completely and utterly bored

Sure, he enjoyed spending time at his mother's house and visiting with his great aunt and housemaid, but there were only so many cheek pinches and wide smiles he could take before his face ached

He had nearly read every single book in the house, and it was getting to be just a bit too hot to stay in the meadow all-day

So here the boy was, dragging his feet and wandering aimlessly in search of something to pique his interest

It happens in a flash, but out of the corner of his eye, Gunwook thinks he's spotted something moving across the floorboard and near the vents

The boy pauses in his tracks, head tilting as he attempts to make out what he had seen without disturbing it

Creeping over slowly with light steps, Gunwook crouches down and gets to his hands and knees

He pokes his head around before he spots it; a small person holding a sugar cube and struggling to get the item back through the vent's grates

Out of all his years of living Park Gunwook has yet to see such a sight, but it seemed his boredom had disappeared in an instant as a wide grin spreads across his face

You try and use all your might to get both you and the sugar cube back to your home, but you feel as if you're being watched

Turning around quickly, the sight of the human boy has you scrambling and forgetting the cube in an instant

You don't have it in you to scream, but you're scurrying along towards the vent faster in order to not be caught

Clearly, you don't do too good of a job because the boy continues to get closer

"W-Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" Gunwook says suddenly once he notices how terrified you seemed to be by your frantic movements

You manage to slip through just in time to avoid the huge hand coming your way, and hide in the shadows of the vent so he can't see you

Everything tells you to run back to your family, tell them what happened, and start packing your things to find another neighborhood house, but you're too tired and the adrenaline has made you fatigued

"I'm, I'm sorry, please come back..." Gunwook attempts with a frown, saddened at how quickly you ran away

Maybe his eagerness had gotten the best of him, but he truly just wanted a friend

You don't make it known that you're still around, but the sight of the sugar cube being slipped back in through the grates as you still

Waiting for footsteps, they don't come until about a minute has passed

Gunwook dejectedly begins to stand up and walk away before he sees you hesitantly peek through the grates with a small wave

han yujin | sosuke, “ponyo”

“Yujinnie!” You draw on, calling for the boy as you attempt to finish packing up the boat. "Hurry up or I'll leave without you!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Please don't leave without me!"

You glance up from securely fastening the picnic basket into place to see Yujin hurrying towards you; backpack flapping around, captain's hat on his head, and bangs falling into his eyes

"You know I was just joking," you say with a giggle, hoping in the boat and taking a seat

"I know... I just don't like making you wait." Yujin admits with slightly red-tipped ears, handing his things for you to take as he prepares the boat for departure

Once everything is all set, you and Yujin set off, the town flooded from the massive storm from the night before

Things are relatively peaceful though, as other people float around on their own boats while you wave and pass by

You allow Yujin to steer and take charge, opting to point out where to go instead, and the boy eagerly listens

"Yujin, look!" You point out, swaying the boat a bit in excitement

Jellyfish, turtles, and other various sea creatures swim below the surface and through the crystal-clear water

The both of you go on like that for a while, Yujin captaining and you just enjoying the sunny day

After a while, you two stop for the simple lunch of sandwiches and tea that you had prepared before chugging along once more

The chirp of the birds and woosh of the water eventually lulls you to sleep, as you fold your arms on the edge of the boat and rest your head silently

"Isn't it beautiful out, Y/N?" Yujin asks a few moments later, eyes round at the scenery around him. "Y/N?"

At the lack of response, the young boy turns his attention to your sleeping figure with a tiny tug at the corner of his lips

Suddenly, the boat slowly comes to a stop in the middle of the water

Yujin looks around puzzled before realizing the boat had run out of fuel

Throwing another glance at your unmoving figure, the boy takes off his captain's cap and gets into the water without hesitation

He begins swimming and pushing the light boat along to where you both had been planning on meeting his mother at the senior center

Although it may seem like a lot of work to do alone, he didn't want to wake you, he wanted to prove to you that he was reliable

And that he would do anything for you

[sunnylands-world]

And another one, i read a lot of animagus storys, maybe something about that like sneaking to the other person as an animal etc <3

SOFT BLUE

Pairing: alpha Draco x werewolf fem reader

Summary: you're attracted to someone you've never seen in human form and your attraction to the said person may cost you everything and it's a risk you're willing to take…

Word count: 679

Warning: just some angst and fluff, implied sex at the end

Universe: werewolf

A/n: figured I'd kill two birds with one stone and bring alpha Draco to all of you. @dr4cosimp asked SECOND, I AM A SUCKER FOR COMFORT SO COULD YOU DO SOMETHING WITH ANGST AND THEN FLUFF AT THE END?? <3

You had no idea why you were so attached. Maybe it was the soft coat of snow-white fur or the ocean Blue eyes. Either way, no matter what people said about the giant wolf that would visit you, you still wanted to be near it. you knew it was dangerous but like a pull, to a wave, you'd still see the dog at night or during the day in the woods. it was like it would watch you. when you'd look out your window you were sure you saw it up in the mountains looking at you but when you'd blink it would be gone.

maybe you were hallucinating, possibly it was there. like a lover, he'd protect you when you trail the woods late at night. you'd lost track of how many times he'd saved you but in return, you'd bring him food when you could. At some point, you were banned from the woods. you missed the smell of salty lake water, the green of the trees and grass, and the scent of the animal you'd been chasing. He smelled something like safety and home. He'd become an addiction. you could see him running in the dark of night in your dreams. you could picture his human form glowing in the light of day.

The girls in your group swore you'd lost your mind, your parents were ashamed and disappointed because you'd turned down other males for someone who came and left. You felt starved without him. your tears were the only proof you'd seen him, the only thing proving he wasn't a fantasy. you weren't yourself. you mopped, seeming as though someone died and you guessed someone did. He did. your thoughts grew worrisome. had someone killed him on a run? was he running in another forest now? had he forgotten everything between you? perhaps he wasn't real.

eventually, you let the others convince you it was something you made up. you stopped checking for the white wolf. you didn't look out your window. you begin to get back in flow with your pack. even were due to be matched with someone your family decided would be a worthy mate. deep down inside you were aching, your heart was speared, still longing for him but you smiled and ignored the urge. your wolf was broken and no amount of late-night runs stopped your cries.

The wind through your fur wasn't taking away the stress like before. you whined in the dead of night in pain practically pawing away your sight as you lay in the cold solid water. something called to you, something eased the pain. your head shot up looking, ears on high alert for the howl you heard. you don't think you've ever run so fast. your legs were tired as you ran on all four and you were trying to push against the tide of air that was rather blinding with its chill of ice. you came to an abrupt stop upon seeing a human. but it wasn't just any human, it was him. His platinum hair and blue eyes were like a duplicated Version of the large dog you longed for. He was tall, soft looking, with pale skin and a strong structure to match.

his chest inhaled a breath seeing you, he stood like he'd seen someone he'd lost alive again. you eyed him with the same need as you shifted to your human form. the both of you rushed to each other, capturing the other in a breathtaking kiss. his lips were chapped and cold from the weather, his hands snaking around the curve of your waist causing you to let out a quiet moan from the touch. you're moving Like you'll run out of time and perhaps you will. maybe he'll leave you again but for now, you have him and that's all that matters as you fall into the snow using each other's body heat to keep warm. arguably you'll die out here in the winter woods and if you do you'll be with him.

Your mate.

Request open 👐

@alexxavicry , @sarahthehuffpuff, @supercoffeeblogs , @thatwattpadobsessed, @ameliaclare04, @kyracanwrite, @animeloverfreak310, @imafangirl22 @phildunphyisadilf , @jac1ndaa

[gradientdescent-does-it-all]

Tag Game

Put your playlist on shuffle and put down your first 10 songs

@coinin prompted me, and so now I have to reveal my shame. My playlist looks like this:

Yep, that’s right, just the one album that comes for free with owning an iPad. I’ve never listened to it. I cannot stand U2’s music.

But ok ok to give this a fair shake I’ll click the “Music For You” button and see what it thinks I wanna hear:

Blood and Tears - Danzig. I’ve never heard this until now but I like it. Would listen again.

Dark Ocean Summoning - Old Gods of Asgard SKIP SKIP SKIP I haven’t gotten this far in the Alan Wake 2 yet, no spoilers!

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fallout Boy. I think I trained for a half marathon listening to this album once.

Fool’s Paradise - Poets of the Fall. I do actually like the real band behind the fake band from Alan Wake.

My Sanity - Bad Religion. Haven’t heard this one before but there’s not an album of theirs I won’t listen to

Beautiful Day - U2 GTFO of here Apple, I’m telling you I Do Not Want

She Lives - Swans. Another track I’ve never listened to before but in general do like the band. My cat does too, weirdly enough.

Highwayman - Highwaymen FUCK YES. FUUUUUUUCK YES.

The Pinnacle - Kansas. Where in the hell did this even come from? I was all set to skip it but now that I give it a listen, it’s actually kinda neat.

Green Grass and High Tides - The Outlaws. That’ll be another “fuck yes”.

Passing along the fun to @cygnascrimbles and @adevilyoudo if yall feel like playing!

[myimaginaryradio]

Green Grass And High Tides - The Outlaws - 1975

[outofangband]

Teleri gardens post for @actual-bill-potts

Mentions of this on my other world building posts for the Teleri! I actually have a lot of head cannons about the differences in gardens between the three peoples of the Amanyar and I will make posts about Vanyarin and Noldorin gardens soon!

Second note: this is not meant to be a flora post as I want to make a separate one with more extensive information on that however, I will include some examples of plants 

As always please feel free to ask more!

-The Teleri have beautiful gardens of a variety of forms; formal gardens, groves, orchards, vegetable and herb gardens, aquatic gardens ranging from elegant ponds to elaborate whimsical waterscapes, and coral gardens.

-There are extensive and beautiful gardens at the palace of Alqualondë including a fountain carved over a natural spring, a grove of trees (mostly black and maritime pine) with a small natural pond, and a stream that runs to the ocean through a small opening in the sandstone walls.

-Shapes of gardens tend to be spiral or circular from above. Circles, spirals, waves, and other similar shapes are common and a lot of their art and this absolutely includes outdoors and garden art 

-Some of these coral gardens are cultivated from existing tide pools with help from Maiar of Ulmo. These can serve as living monuments to the ocean and its creatures, and are very sacred places to the Teleri.

-There are several green houses in Alqualondë including one or two built over warm springs that provide moisture to the plants and soil. Glasswork is another important Telerin craft as I mentioned on my first world building post. Though Noldorin architectural styles or practices might have been used in their construction, the glasswork and horticulture/ecological work is from Telerin knowledge and practices

-There are also many purely underwater gardens. Some of these are in lagoons, and groves found more inland. Some of these are in the ocean beyond the harbor. Many of these are very difficult to access to outsiders, requiring access through hidden coves and through steel treks. These gardens are home to many aquatic and ocean plants, and the creatures that find sanctuary in them; kelp, seaweed and sea grasses and others 

-Gardening, landscaping and design and water engineering are important Telerin crafts! They take a lot of pride in how land and water are represented in their gardens, in contents and layout and shape, etc

-The soil around and through Alqualondë is very fertile. It’s not uncommon to find fragments of shell and limestone or sandstone in the soil thus the plant life tends to be limestone friendly though the levels are not so high that it makes it inhospitable to species that aren’t 

-Small pebbles and shells often decorate paths in gardens and parks. Statues are rare in gardens but small rock/pebble formations are sometimes made

-Especially among the nobles but also elsewhere, aquatic gardens often with elaborate waterscapes. These utilize pumps, spinning wheels, elegant slanted trofts carved from stone, clay or bamboo, and elvenmade streams and ponds

-Even in non water based gardens, water elements such as fountains, often in whimsical or creative shapes, bird baths and ponds are common. There are carved sandstone structures around several saltwater springs creating fountains in Alqualondë’s main spaces. These are viewed as the sea opening up within the city

-Telerin gardens, even formal ones, tend to require minimal pruning, and rely on methods that allow the species to grow thrive, and cross pollinate as they would naturally. While, this is true of most elven garden practices in general it’s often especially visible in these 

-Children play in the gardens a lot and lessons are often held here!

-As I mentioned on my previous world building post for the Teleri, many streams run from the Pelóri to the ocean and they run through the city. There are also many underground streams, and both sources are utilized to bring water to gardens, houses and other water elements. I actually headcanon that both Tirion and Alqualondë have systems somewhere between canals and aqueducts.

-Sea cabbage, common gorse, juniper, bay, sea oats, yarrow, sea thrift, curry plants and sea campion are some of the most common plants in small gardens. Bay leaves are common garnishes and seasoning in Telerin cuisine.

[cedarboughs]

Hiking Journal: The West Coast Trail

Day VII: Last Steps

Darling River to Nanaimo

One last giant banana slug, the biggest and most beautiful and inspiring yet, greeted us in the breakfast table to bid us farewell to the West Coast Trail I suppose.

I had to rest in one of the hammocks made from washed-up fishing line. The craft these must have taken in the midst of a trek like this! And they are comfy and give the pirate vibes again.

We waded the Darling after walking briefly up its beach-to-forest canyon a couple hundred metres to see the falls.

Then two kilometres of Tideshelf Tango to Michigan Creek, the last campsite, named for an American wood steamer sank in the last years of the nineteenth century — to no loss of life, thanks to the rescue road built in the mourning for the Valencia.

It was misting out of a low sky and the tide was all the way out* so I walked far out the tideshelf into what the map coloured blue, where clams spread like clover.

Two kilometres past Michigan we visited the Pachena Point Lighthouse. This is the westernmost post on the whole Trail. Looking out to sea, it’s open water all the way to Japan.

A short and easy kilometre past there, I was beginning to tire a bit. We broke for lunch at a point overlooking two busy sea lion haulout rocks. The smell of the sea lions wafted by on occasion, but the symphony of barking and yapping from the territory-seeking older bulls and milk-seeking cubs kept up all through our time there. We ate wraps with envelope tuna and cheese that wasn’t quite so hard as when I packed it up.

Then, walking. Nine more long kilometres of inland trail, well maintained and easy to walk, but feeling endless. Final stretches either sap last bits of energy as you feel the cumulative weight of every step it took to get there; or else, there comes an infusion of energy from knowing the end is within reach. I felt both of these ways through those last nine kilometres, mostly depending on whether I was walking up or downhill. Along the way were carved stumps and, somehow, an abandoned motorcycle rusting right on the trail just out of the ferns.

This isn’t in my journal but I remember at one rest I made a point of pondering the tree across the trail. I got me thinking about cedars, which is a thing I do often. I traced with my eyes the striations of fluted bark falling vertically down the trunk like water over falls, then indeed tumbling over rock and soil and older wood just as water would. It’s no great revelation that the Great Bear Rainforest feels so remarkably alive from its abundance of life-giving water and how life piles upon and gives life to other life in all its layers. Coming from the dry prairie, that was the great novelty and reason I so loved the rainswept Pacific drainages. But looking at that plicata I thought, here is a tree that more than any other of its kin, whom I’d see as living extensions of the earth, here is elemental water given towering form. In Waterton I’d seen trees born of fire growing back in the valley, and trees of air wracked by high alpine winds. Every element grows life in time. That’s why a lawn of cut grass feels like such an abomination. How many flower blooms, clover spreads, or rippling waves of seedpods lay aborted in that featureless spread of dying yellow-green? How many tasty free-growing sources of dandelion greens and flowers and milk and coffee and wine? I don’t know how people can choose to live in suburbs among that. Even in a proper city there’s an organic life to the growth of towers like trees and an exploratory sense to the karsts of skyscrapers and an ecology to the succession of streets and neighbourhoods. It’s amazing what can grow when left to its own nature, beyond the human desire for control. It you let it alone, it will surely grow.

A few final tall ladders for good measure in the last kilometre looking over Pachena Bay. This was the harder of the two ways through the section we’d taken on day 0.9, but the tide was back up. Sorry Wallace, but the low tide is only a constant endpoint in a novel that ends there.**

Then we were done, and there was the car at the trailhead.

It was a long drive across the Island to Nanaimo, although really, to call the first mileage-marked seventy-five kilometres to Port Alberni “a long drive” of a couple of hours after taking the last full week to do that distance seems unfair. Past Alberni we finally did stop at Cathedral Grove to keep our legs from totally seizing up as we sat eating chips in the indulgent languor of off-Trail life. “The Big Tree” at Cathedral Grove, a six-metre-diameter Douglas fir, was indeed a bit bigger than all those cedars and spruce we walked among along the Trail, but it was strange walking along interpretive paths so flat and maintained.

On the way into Nanaimo we stopped for takeout pizza. I can talk about blackened fresh caught cod and rare freshwater crab but let’s be real here— that tandoori chicken pie eaten on a TravelLodge bed while waiting for the shower was the most satisfying meal I ate in B.C.

* Wallace, D. F. (1996). Infinite Jest. Little, Brown. Well, almost.

**Yes I know that you could have a whole argument about where or even whether Infinite Jest “ends.”

[savior-of-humanity]

Equal exchange: 😴 and/or 😨 for Atreus, about Arti? :3

The warmth of another was something Atreus didn't really have the luxury of experiencing often, once his mother had passed. He didn't get as sick as often as he used to as he grew older, so there was seldom need for sharing body heat. Still, even in his sleep, that feeling of being swaddled and safe causes him to nose his way into Artificer's fur and drift into deeper, sweeter dreams.

--

It comes to him in flashes; bits and pieces of moments that, in the realm of sleep, seem to last for an eternity. In each fragment of time, Artificer was always there with him. Sometimes others were there as well, like Father or Mimir or Freya, and sometimes there was nobody else but him and the slugcat.

They come and go, like fond memories; sometimes they're on the Lake of Nine, paddling across the calm and unfrozen waters. Sometimes they're exploring the wilds of one of the realms beyond Midgard, perhaps Alfheim or Vanaheim. The places, people, and things would vary, but out of them all only one stood out in particular.

She's there, watching from the sidelines, and Atreus is a slugcat this time. He's tussling with something, like how he'd play with Speki and Svanna - it takes him a moment to realize they're pups. One with fur as deep and green as the lake waters, and one with fur as bright and blue as the summer sky. He's not sure why, but something about them both reminded him strongly of Artificer.

They play like they'd always been siblings, roughhousing among the summer grass and flowers of the forest surrounding his home. Sun and sea and sky, under the watchful eye of mother fire. It's a moment that Atreus wouldn't mind being lost in for an eternity.

--

But sometimes, the dreams give way to nightmares.

He's not home anymore. He's in what he could only describe as a claustrophobic hell; cramped and dim hallways, lit only by the warm light of lanterns. Packed to the brim and swarming with Scavengers. He was one too, with bright blue eyes and golden fur, but the others looked as him as though he were a demon with their burning, hateful gazes.

Atreus couldn't run, so the only thing he did was fight. Spears flew and clashed against one another; many nicked and pierced him, but for every drop of god-blood they spilled, he killed just as many of their kin. But there were so many, and they wouldn't stop coming, and his arms were getting so tired, and all of his wounds won't stop bleeding and it just hurts--

There.

He hears it first before he sees it; the crackling snap of an explosion, followed by a familiar blur of red leaving smoking bodies in its wake. He tries to call out for her but in his Scavenger throat it comes out wrong, a high-pitched squeal of distress akin to a terrified pup. Among the chaos, she sees her head snap over in his direction and her gaze lock on him. Relief floods his heart when she launches herself over to his side of the crowd, and he starts fighting his way through the Scavenger tide to try and close the distance.

What he doesn't expect is for her to slam into him, and for her jaws to sink deep into his throat.

He can't scream, he can't gasp, leaving only his eyes to go wide as plates at the sudden betrayal. Only now does his magic let him meld back into the familiar slugcat form, yet she does not relent. He reaches up to her face, blood and air seeping through his mouth and throat alike, and manages to rasp;

Why me? Why me?

His spear had sunk into the skin over her heart, yet he couldn't bring himself to drive it any deeper. He sees how her ears pin even further back, how her only good eye seemed to well up, and yet she bites down ever harder.

--

He wakes with a start, a hand pressed to his intact throat as his eyes flutter open to the dark interior of the shelter. Outside, he can hear the distant roar of the rain, but aside from the sound of his and Artificer's breathing, all is quiet. It reminds him of when he'd wake in the dead of bad winter nights, between the safety and warmth of his parents.

He hesitated for a moment, then snuggled back into Artificer's fur, letting its scent and her breathing lull him back to sleep.

[sonnenreich]

⸻ 𝐖𝐄'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌. / @hochmvt

Thick, lush green grasses swayed gently in the spring breeze, though there was no higher reason anymore in differentiating between the seasons. In the warmest days of summer a sudden blizzard could occur, in the former cosy coldness of autumn, there were occasional outbursts of blossoming greenery and whenever it rained it poured. The grass tingled under his hands as their dampness got in contact with the nerve ends of his palms. Lost in thought, he looked at his fingertips and rubbed them together, the morning dew leaving tiny red streaks that irritated his skin and reminded him not to touch his face. Slowly, almost reverently, he pulled a cloth from his breast pocket and wiped his hands dry. Some of the fibrous cloth's stitches had already come loose, showing how the frequent use was straining the fabric and slowly but surely decomposing the handmade product. It was no comparison to the acid rain, unbeaten in its intensity and danger. However, the sky was blue and somehow he felt safe, enraptured by the soft warm blanket of the sun's might. Some saw her as a traitor, others knew she was a victim. Zeev had never felt betrayed by the universe, which was a surprising statement to admit. 

The Great Eclipse, or as the scientists call it: the Blackout, had changed the world from one day to the next. Technically, it had been the same day, but it ended entirely differently. A total eclipse, a natural rare astronomical event, dependent on time and location, occurred two years ago, visible for the western hemisphere—but despite its invisibility for the eastern part of the world, had impacted every speck of the earth. Much like the big assumption of 2012, the anticipated event had caused a stir in much the same fashion. The end of the world, foretold by some, doubted by many, but for once the ones who had been deemed delusional were right. In some way, at least. In Zeev's eyes, the world seemed very much alive, but it had changed nonetheless. Within the glimpse of a moment, wrapped in darkness as the moon covered the sun, parts of humankind had vanished. Entire civilizations were left inhabited, families were ripped apart. The rain that followed did the rest to most, skinning them alive and leaving nothing but acid remnants, as if the sky had cried tears of bitterness and wrath, angered by something it didn't tell the rest of the world. The result of climate change to some, a cosmic doom to others. Suddenly, scientists listened to former conspiracy theorists, but both were faced by a development that seemed to have no real answer to their questions. 

With time, the last survivors who hadn't given up on their lives, found refuge in bunkers underneath the earth, some had turned to organisations trying to rebuild what had been lost, while some just waited. Waiting for a life that most likely wouldn't come.

Truth be told, though, Zeev didn’t remember much of how it had been, considering the lack of memory regarding the past. He knew something, but it felt strangely detached. As if it were myths and legends that had been told to him like a bedtime story, filling his blonde head with fantasies of a life as it used to be, while he had been flowing with a much different tide. Perhaps it was his way to cope with the loss, to avoid the ever lingering question of why, as he, alone and powerless, wouldn’t be able to change the cause of events anyway. Why look at the past, when the rocky hills of surrounding mountains, the high growing trees of the woodlands and lucious fields of seemingly endless acres lay right before his eyes? A wide and vast freedom of nothingness and all at once. Somewhere to find yourself and lose yourself along the way entirely alike. 

Touched by the sun, lungs filled with itching molecules within the oxygen, Zeev was aware once more why the empty fields were called lonesome. It hadn't been like that before. Zeev didn't know why, he just knew that. He remembered presences, feelings—something attached to faceless arrays of energy. A family he can't name, but he knows that has abandoned him. He couldn't blame them, hate them, feel guilty for or sorry with. He was devoid of any emotional connection except one: loss. A feeling so deep, it twisted his heart and left him breathless, urging him to move forward in a world where nothing seemed to follow a reachable goal. 

He struggled to his feet and followed a path that was invisible, overgrown by nature and muddy soil. Zeev had no place to retreat to, so he went wherever he was welcomed. Which was a rather laborious effort and usually took hours of wandering. Sometimes he found shelter in dilapidated buildings, remnants of a civilization that had crumbled so tremendously in just 700 days that it was hard to imagine it had ever been different. It was essential for the blond to keep an eye on the weather and seek shelter early, before even the hint of a drop swirled through the air. Every now and then he came across equipment on his way, too careless to muster up enough compassion to wonder whether it still belonged to a living person or not. The umbrella on his backpack, whose material he couldn't even name, was marked with a symbol he knew very well.

The Meridian Technology Corporation, which had been considered innovative and progressive long before the Blackout, had risen to the top of the food chain after Day 0. When Americans spoke of science, Meritech had always been mentioned in hushed tones, with equal parts admiration and reserve. The future of the world, the progress of humanity, has been the fuel of research, without ignoring the state of the earth and the impact of society in these matters. Diseases, greenhouse gases, climate change, changes in living conditions and world hunger. MeriTech presumably had tried to find a solution to all these problems. Perhaps it was a testament to megalomania, the desire to be a savior who achieved god status. In a way, they had failed and won on all levels—because now MeriTech seemed to have become humanity's only hope. As quickly as they had created shelters and developed concepts of reconstruction, evil tongues could claim that they had seen it all coming. But no matter how bitterly they were confronted, they were literally all they had left. 

The Meridian Corporation, however, was too broad and large a concept to be tangible to the remnants of the general public, and while they addressed all concerns of current conditions, they established a sub-organization dedicated solely to new world research: Project Failsafe.

Their research didn't just entail the possibility of using the acid rain and how to reverse it, the reason why the weather seemed to be indecisive or why people had disappeared without anyone noticing—after the Great Eclipse something else had happened, too. Something that was far more confusing and raising questions than weather ever could.

On some parts, changing with the wind and unpredictable like the outburst of sudden cones of sunlight between stratus clouds, one was able to see black lines reaching into the sky, moving like loose umbilical cords. In the beginning, they were just a phenomenon, seemingly leading to nothing like a colourful rainbow. But unlike the legendary and non existing pot of gold, they pointed at areas everyone needed to keep their distance from. 

While humankind had disappeared, something else had come to existence. 

The wailing of something invisible, of something that is there and simultaneously is not. A fragile structure that, if stirred, unleashes the full asset of antimatter and creates a chaos that Failsafe considers a so-called Voidout, a reaction to an action like a Newton Cradle that can't be avoided nor prevented when started. Humankind had been unable to identify the entities that were attached to the black cords for the longest time, not even aware of their existence except of their widespread destruction and deadliness when disrupted. That hadn't changed much, however, Failsafe—during their long search for willing scouts and volunteers for their cause—had found people with abilities that were as unexplainable as the events that had shaken their home planet. 

Those people have been branded W.I.T.C.H, a necessary shortened down acronym translated to: Warpstream Intelligence for Transdimensional Contact and Hyperawareness. Humans with the ability to see beyond the confines of common perception, who were able to foretell the change of the weather and its upcoming danger, who seemed to be able to sense the tune of an earth that had become a stranger to most—but above all, were connected to the cosmic sources. They were able to see the beings clearly, who appeared and disappeared like the tide. With Witches, and considering the ever falling numbers of humans left it wasn't truly necessary to mention that those were rare, MeriTech had been able to not only make progress in their endeavours, they also managed to come to some conclusions. One of which was the impingement of cosmic influences. The entities looked somewhat human, as far as they could believe those who had tried to assist them, but they most likely weren't.

Witches were rare and with the promise of a better future, they were of high importance for their cause. Unfortunately, if you play with fire to this extent, you get burned sooner than later. And most had turned to the ashes at the stakes they had been forced to build themselves. 

And Zeev truly didn't want to be reduced to a means to an end. He had dipped out weeks after he had assumed to have found safety and meaning in a mess he couldn't understand. At that time, he had thought his abilities weren't very special, until they had told him differently. At first, that revelation had been uplifting, motivating and in some egoistical way filling him with pride and an arrogant self-confidence—until, in reality, he was nothing more but a mere plaything they sent out in the name of science, just to risk his life. Zeev didn't mind helping, but if the burn scar that resembled a sun on his palm was any indicator, his survival meant little in the greater scheme of things. 

And he had goals of his own. Goals more important in his eyes than the survival of people he didn't know. In a sense, he was still pridefully egoistical, but there was little he had of his own anyway. If being alive was all there was, he wanted to live on his own terms. Still, being on your own for the longest time turned one wary of one another, especially when being who he was.

And so the day had came when Zeev, with a group of scientists and an armed escort—although firearms only suggested a false sense of security—had been led to a place where a high density of antimatter had been measured. In the end, they only had to follow the tracks in the sky and the instinct that Zeev possessed like no one else. That day at the latest, the Witcher had realised that his cooperation with Failsafe was not voluntary and that the escort was not necessarily for his safety, but to prevent an escape. What they hadn't reckoned with was the lengths he would go to in order to ensure his freedom and that they, in their blindness, were inferior to his abilities. He was unable to stand up to their multitude and power, but the supernatural apparitions could—so he had taken advantage of them. His escape had not been without danger and he was lucky to have done so without as much as a scratch. If fortunate enough, MeriTech thought he was dead, as was everyone who had gone to this cosmic event that day. Zeev was not proud of what he had to do, but there was no room for regret in this world any longer. 

Since then, Zeev tried to keep his heritage hidden, which wasn’t the hardest task to succeed in. The rare encounters never went deeper than smalltalk, everyone too wary of one another to put too much trust into each other and therefore as fleeting and forgetting as any dull day within grey walls built by a company that served as much as it took. MeriTech had created a network that only functioned under their supervision. All remaining people were dependent on their work and the mercy that their care brought to light. An unspoken propaganda, a loyalty without alternative was the result of a pervasive hopelessness. Anyone who wanted to survive inevitably had to stand up for MeriTech. In principle, Zeev would probably have found fulfilment in that if he wasn't who he was and thus, he felt more alone than anyone. Unable to stay in one place, even if the company felt soothing for a change. Afraid he might be forced back into the care of the company.

Wherever Zeev was really walking towards, not even his instincts could tell him, and more often than he would have liked, he was just wandering because it felt right to keep moving. In places he had been, run-down towns and deserted forests, he had not found what he was looking for and the answers had not yet opened up in front of his eyes like the clearing of the sky. So he wandered without a destination, driven only by the knowledge that somewhere, with all the luck he potentially had left, he might stumble upon something that felt like progress. 

To conserve his resources, he rarely used the breathing mask and the oxygen canister that came with it, a rare commodity that he could only obtain from a few fallen travellers, unable to recharge the canisters at MeriTech's collection points and use them for safe travel. The air was not necessarily bad, but over time the acidity of the humidity took its toll. 

The roughness of the terrain was sapping his strength, and as the day wore on, it became increasingly difficult for him to keep his concentration up and his eyes open. Zeev skirted mostly around the high mountain landscape, roaming instead through the nearby forests that had once been known as the Appalachians. The new weather conditions had literally diminished the appearance in places, creating craters out of mountains and cutting a swathe through the lowlands. Bare serpentines wound their way up to the peaks and promised the same as after every other milestone of his hikes. Fallow nothingness, devoid of human life or the possibility of creating any. The only signs that there was a spark of life anywhere were MeriTech's excavations, old and abandoned scaffoldings that were supposed to be used for research before being left behind due to lack of results..

The smell of ozone filled the air and Zeev turned his gaze to the sky, watching the colours of the sun as they refracted in the distant water droplets, shimmering with grim promises as the star sank lower. Zeev had to decide, moving upwards, slowing down, and hoping for shelter or darting fast through the open, diminished fields with no cover in sight. The umbrella he carried would only hold off a little and the suit he wore would soon need repairing. In the end, he decided for the latter and for another time, luck seemed to be on his side. 

His eyes were only human in regards to earthly conditions, hence he hadn’t seen what lay beyond a hill along his way. Relief flooded through him when he spotted the characteristic grey structure of a MeriTech bunker. An unhoisted flagpole, indicating an absence of habitants and thus posing no threat to him, peeked out from behind the lush green hill. His gait slowed and he allowed the exhaustion to unfold, saturating his steps and taking away his sense of purpose. The entrances to the bunker reminded him of the wide-open mouths of whales feasting on krill. Not that he could remember ever having seen anything like it, but it was his first association. The firm concrete ground caused his skull to shake, while the soft grassland had cushioned his every step in comparison. Sighing, he slumped his shoulders and circled his head on his neck, about to pull a stranger’s keycard out of his pocket, when he noticed a rucksack.

Tattered, but no doubt not too old to be considered abandoned. 

Interested and curious, he took a look inside. A few tinned foods, a bottle or two of water with MeriTech's logo, writing utensils and laundry. Before Zeev could consider taking the food and drink, he glanced back so as not to get into an awkward predicament and make a bad first impression on the person he wanted to pray to for a place to stay for the night and be sheltered from the approaching storm. At first he didn't spot anyone, so he straightened up and stepped outside. 

And then he did.

A good three-hundred feet away from the bunker, sitting on a rise, resting on a collection of boulders.

They just sat there drawing, or so Zeev thought, which was an odd sight to begin with, but also something surprisingly relaxing. Every now and then they presumably checked the time, pulled out binoculars, chewed on the flat end of their pencil when in thought and then continued to scribble down something. Zeev couldn’t help but keep staring. Especially since he was trying to fathom if the person was safe to be approached. Zeev was in dire need of resting and he had learned to take every opportunity when given. The chance of coming across another bunker within the next hour—let alone one unoccupied—was below zero. 

His first impulse was to go to them, to speak to another person, to feel the hoarseness of his own voice that he hadn't used for so long, to hear what they were doing and what they were looking for. A feeling of happiness as strong as the urge to sleep, but he held back and stood rooted to the spot. From experience, he left a friendly and welcoming impression on others who, like him, often succumbed to their loneliness. Nevertheless, he decided to wait until the person would start moving and see what their first reaction would be. Should the person be hostile against all expectations, he would at least still have the element of surprise. Minutes flew by and Zeev sat down at the edge of the bunker, knees bent and head leaning against the solid wall, which was cracked and crumbling due to the precipitation. He took off his mask for comfort and hissed briefly as the air scratched his throat. For a long time, he watched the person he identified as male as he performed the same procedures over and over again. Watching, observing, scribbling. Watching, observing, scribbling. There was something strangely calming about it, Zeev had to admit. The stranger was relaxed in a way he had rarely seen. As if he was exactly where he wanted to be. The longer he looked at him, the more Zeev wondered what he was even doing out here. Failsafe rarely acted alone and the scouts were usually not in one spot for a long period of time. Who was he observing for?

Suddenly, his body shook itself to the core, wiping out all air from his lungs, causing his body to tremble and heave. Every tiny hair on his body stood up, numbing and sharpening senses alike—and he rose to his feet within seconds, black spots dancing across his field of view in the process. Black lines fell from the sky like wet paint, changing the landscape from peaceful beauty to dawning danger. The bodies of seemingly sedated people came into view, connected to the cords that reached far beyond the clouds. Sometimes, it wasn’t hard to believe they were just peacefully asleep. Zeev, however, had seen what they were like when stirred awake. He wasn’t sure if the stranger could see them, too.

In awe, the guy's notebook fell to the ground, which he hurriedly saved off the ground, not wanting to risk its decomposition, Zeev assumed. His excitement was both fascinating as it was worrisome to witness. 

“What in the sun's name are you doing?,” Zeev muttered under his breath, his voice muffled by the mask he covered half his face with again. And before he knew it, he was moving forward, to the male that willingly and too curious for his own good, did the same—towards a catastrophe—instead of retreating to the safehouse.

[fandomworldofdreams]

Hospital For Souls

"The monotony and the rising tide Is under my skin, is crawling inside. Adrenaline to rewire my mind. I'm only human, I come with knives"

-IAMX

Previous:Prologue, CHP1, CHP2, CHP3, CHP4, CHP5, CHP6, CHP7, CHP8

Warnings: slight noncon, drugging, hallucinations

Chapter IX: I Come With Knives

Her dreams replayed like a broken record. She could not control her own body, just her thoughts. She kept finding Lucian in his bed. Once she pulled the covers back and saw him, the nightmare would start all over again. No matter how much she fought against the dream, her body went along with the scene.

She was trapped in a loop that felt more like hell than a dream.

She knew what was coming as she crept into the room for what felt like the hundredth time. But when she pulled back the blanket it wasn't Lucian's dead body that lay there. It was Sebastian. His throat was slit, the blood now dried. His face was frozen in terror.

She screamed, the high pitched noise shook the house causing her to fall back. The cycle was broken. Her back did not meet solid wood. It met air, endless darkness, and the floor swallowed her whole.

The first thing Valeria felt was pressure on her forehead. She stirred, groggily opening her eyes.

Dr. Lecter's hand was pressed to her forehead, his lips were parted, tongue resting against the roof of his mouth while he looked at her curiously.

"You're slightly warm but nothing to panic about. What was your dream?" he asked, retracting his hand. He was seated in a chair next to the bed.

She sighed, sitting up and stretching out her limbs. She winced at the pain that shot through her stomach and face.

"My brother." Dr. Lecter nodded, not asking any further.

She glanced across the room, eyes immediately locking on the empty bed.

"Where's Jane?" Her voice was panicked.

"With Dr. Garcia," he said calmly. "I have come to collect you for our session, I planned a little outside walk."

"I can go outside?"

"Under my supervision, yes. Terrance!"

Teddy walked into the room, eyes quickly locking on hers. His face winced in sympathy while unlocking her cuff. They both helped her stand to her feet.

"That will be all," Dr. Lecter didn't even look at Teddy as he said it. She glanced at him instead, trying to communicate with her eyes that they'd talk later. A curt nod was all she got in return, calming her nerves.

Dr. Lecter held out his elbow, she hesitantly slipped her hand into the crook of it and he guided her out of the room.

The hallways seemed longer than usual, each step a loud boom in her ears. It could have been the overwhelming feeling of how close she was to Dr. Lecter. The anxiety of messing up or making a fool of herself in front of him set her nerves on edge.

When they reached an exit he swiped his card, waited for the light to turn green, then held open the door for her.

She hadn't realized how much she'd missed fresh air.

The cool breeze rustled her hair and brushed her skin in a comforting way. Her lungs filled with the crisp air as if it were her first time truly breathing. He continued to lead her further down the pathway where they reached a vast grass area surrounded by a very tall gate.

The sun was something she had not missed, it's brightness blinding her, making her eye shoot with pain.

"Why did you bring me out here today?" She glanced over at Dr. Lecter who was looking straight ahead.

She took a minute to admire his demeanor and aura. His colors were more relaxed today, yet there was this strange forced color on the outer shell that seemed to mold into her own. Not that she had ever been able to see her aura, but she felt it, saw the outline of the edges.

"I thought in your condition some fresh air would be nice. After all, Mr. Gibson is a rather strong man, I'm impressed you didn't break something. Though the bruising is bad it could have been worse." His eyes cast across her face making her feel self-conscious.

"Brawn is all he's got going for him," Valeria replied bitterly.

"I find it interesting you did not fight back. From the guards and his accounts you just blocked his assault. Correct me if I'm misinterpreting, but that does not seem like you." He glanced at her and she shrugged.

"I heard Jane was hurt. It was the only way to get information. But I didn't start it. All I did was show him how to correctly play chess."

He smiled. "Ah, I too indulge every once in a while, I enjoyed it very much when I was a young boy. I find it hard to discover a worthy opponent to challenge me nowadays. Perhaps we could engage sometime?"

"I would enjoy that."

A comfortable silence passed as they continued their walk, enjoying the sounds of the birds chirping.

It was Valeria that broke the silence. "I had requested your presence last night, but the nurse wouldn't hear of it."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him suck in his bottom lip, a look of disdain crossed his face. "She told me of your condition, then that you were asleep after being given a sedative prescribed by Dr. Crane. So I did not come right away. I do detest liars." That last part was almost a comment to himself.

"I panicked when I learned you hadn't prescribed that sedative."

Or whatever drug it was, she thought.

"I did discuss this with Dr. Crane. But given your situation it was best to put you in a calming state after the trauma your body went through."

She nodded, pressing her lips together. The idea of Dr. Crane and Dr. Lecter discussing her made her uncomfortable. The fact they engaged at all did as well. He moved his hand to rest over hers, which was still wrapped around inner elbow.

"What is troubling you?"

She looked back at Arkham, from this far it seemed almost normal, by her standard at least in comparison to its interior.

"Jane. What happened to her. I can't begin to understand why or how."

"Yes, it is rather troubling that someone was able to break in and do such a thing."

Valeria glanced to him. "You believe her?"

"Do you?"

"Of course."

"Then so do I." Valeria's chest warmed at his words. "I do not know enough about Ms. Lockwood to form an opinion of my own. I only know what you have shared during our sessions. But I do know you. I trust your perception on the matter."

She felt her face go warm and looked away. "Thank you." She knew she was just a patient, but his words and actions always had a way of making her feel special. If she ever got out of here she would miss him, even if it was just his job to make her feel that way.

"Dr. Crane informed me you two have a session this afternoon, per your request."

She licked her lower lip, tracing the scar. "Yes, I wanted to talk to him about what he's going to do to find the person that hurt Jane." Not an entire lie.

"You're playing a dangerous game, Valeria," his tone was serious as he watched her expression.

"If I don't try and help her, who will?" A cold breeze swept over them causing her to shiver.

"How rude of me," he said, pulling his arm away to remove his jacket and hold it out.

"That's your jacket Dr. Lecter"

"I insist. After all, I invited you for a walk and did not inform you of the weather." She hesitated before sliding her arms in the sleeves. The warmth that overcame her made her sigh in relief. The jacket consumed her and felt strangely intimate as his scent filled her nostrils. He held out his arm for them to continue and she obeyed.

The rest of the walk was filled with talk of her physical and emotional well-being. As they neared the end of their walk Dr. Lecter went to swipe his card. When he opened the door he placed his hand on the small of her back making her tense.

"I requested they keep you in the infirmary for one more night so you can be with Jane and keep an eye on each other. Amongst the fact you are also still recovering." She eventually relaxed into his touch and smiled.

"Thank you for everything."

The smile that he gave her was genuine. When they reached the infirmary she went to remove the jacket but he halted her.

"I'll get it back in the morning when I come to collect you. It gets rather chilly in here, keep it for the night." She hugged the fabric tighter to her. She was at a loss for words so all she could do was beam and nod.

He turned from her, only making it a couple steps before she called after him.

"When I first met you it was a woodsy brown with specks of dark blue. That combination to me means wisdom, insight, and the ability to read others. Your aura changes with each emotion you present though. Your colors appear like a curtain sometimes, not allowing others to take a peak behind. Every so often the curtain pulls back a tad and I see a new color."

He glanced over his shoulder at her, eyes crinkled in mirth. He then turned forward and left. Teddy was waiting in the infirmary when she entered, Jane had also returned from her session.

"What the hell happened?" Teddy immediately asked. She told him the events from the previous day, minus the talk with Dr. Crane. He shook his head in disbelief. "You are crazy." She chuckled as he cuffed her hand with an apologetic look back to the bed rail.

His eyes cast over Dr. Lecter's jacket but didn't ask about it. Jane however, immediately shouted across the room.

"Oooo, how was your date with Dr. Lecter?" Valeria rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"He took me outside, it was cold. Get your mind out of the clouds."

In all honesty she wasn't sure how she felt about him. The insinuation of a date made her heart flutter, but she felt he filled a fatherly role more than anything, especially with his age.

"I'm not the one sporting my therapists jacket."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe Garcia will give you hers next time." Jane laughed at that.

"They still don't know who did it," Teddy said, eyes on Jane, darkening the mood. "There's talk amongst the guards that a patient is living in the vents. But I doubt that. If anything it's the basement. Nobody goes down there."

"Dr. Garcia said they doubled the guards watching me, kinda surprised. I had no idea they cared." She placed the palm of her hand to her chest in an exaggerated manner.

"Too much paperwork," Valeria chuckled.

"I'm here for a few more hours, so if you two need anything I'll be right outside the door."

Valeria watched him leave, his aura swarmed with worry. She turned back to Jane. "How are you feeling today?"

Jane sighed, running her fingertips gently over her face. "Like Freddy Krueger."

"Damn am I glad I'm older than eighteen." They both softly chuckled. Jane leaned her head back against the pillow.

"I had a dream last night that he came for me, but instead he hurt you too."

Valeria pressed her lips together. "No one came for you last night. I was up for a while to make sure of that. At least until the extra guards showed."

Jane nodded, eyes casting to the door. Valeria felt a pang of guilt for lying, but knew it was for the best.

"Thank you."

"Wanna play 'I spy'?"

"Sure."

The next hours stretched on from playing the game to discussing each other's lives. They chatted about anything they could think of. Valeria gained a new understanding of Jane and admired her. She saw some of herself in Jane, but also parts she wished she had.

Jane had an optimistic personality that seemed to cope via humour. Valeria had always had a dryer personality, not lacking sarcasm, but perhaps comedic wit.

Food was brought to them by a new nurse, she was an older lady with permanent frown lines and glasses that made her eyes look twice the size.

The mush made her gag, reminding her of being force fed.

Then that thought spiralled into her session that would soon await her. What horror Dr. Crane had planned. She ate a couple bites and pushed it away, losing her appetite.

"You gonna finish that?" Jane asked. Valeria shook her head. The nurse took the plate, bringing it over to Jane to finish.

Surprisingly the new nurse seemed more laid-back, despite her sour disposition.

The door opened. Valeria turned, expecting Teddy to walk through.

Dr. Crane stepped through, offering a tight-lipped smile to the nurse "I'm here for Ms. Gray, we have an appointment."

"I could have escorted her to your office, Dr. Crane," Teddy said, stepping into the doorway. Dr. Crane studied him for a moment.

"I'm aware. Uncuff her from the bed, then cuff her wrists behind her back."

Teddy turned to Valeria and did what Dr. Crane ordered. She stood to her feet, back to him. When he cuffed her wrists he did so very loosely. She was sure she could almost slip her hands out of she pulled hard enough.

"Where did you get that jacket?" He suddenly asked, an envious shade of green seeped into his colors. She questioned what he had to be jealous of.

"Dr. Lecter let me borrow it."

He frowned before seeming to catch himself and neutralize his face once again.

"Very well. Shall we." Dr. Crane said, grabbing her by the elbow and tugging her alongside him. They made their way down the familiar hallways, reaching his office. She was grateful for the jacket as it created a barrier against his skin and hers. He opened the door, partially shoving her in.

When he closed the door she heard the sound of the lock click into place.

He did not sit behind his desk, instead he gestured to the armchair and couch that sat across from one another in the middle of the room, a small side table was next to the armchair with a bottle of water.

Valeria awkwardly sat, trying not to lean against her arms so the cuffs wouldn't dig into her spine. Dr. Crane sat opposite from her.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Um, sure." Her brain screamed at her once she'd said it, but her mouth felt so dry from nerves. He reached over and grabbed the water bottle, opening it. She furrowed her eyebrows when he held it out to her.

"I can't grab it, I'm cuffed."

"I know." He was looking at her expectantly. She swallowed her pride, leaning forward, wrapping her lips around the edge of the top. He tilted the bottle, allowing her to take a few large gulps. She pulled away, her lips had a tingling sensation. He placed the water bottle on the table, crossing his legs and balancing a notepad on his knee.

"How did you sleep last night?"

"Fine."

"Any nightmares?"

"No."

"Ms. Gray, you made a deal with me. If you'd like to decline the terms then by all means I can take you back to your cell."

"You haven't told me the terms of our deal."

"At this moment, honesty. I'm going to ask you questions and you will answer truthfully. I will be able to tell if you're lying. If you try our arrangement is forgo and I no longer show any regard for the safety of Ms. Lockwood."

Valeria scowled. "I had nightmares all night. The same one repeating."

"What was it about?"

She hesitated. "It was about my brother. When I found him dead. I was aware it was a loop, but it felt very real." She left out the part about also finding Sebastian.

He tapped his fingers on the armchair. "What are you afraid of, Ms. Gray?"

All Valeria could think of was Jane. She had to focus on her friend. She could play this game whether he was the rule maker or not.

"I'm afraid of a lot of things, Dr. Crane. Do you mean fear in terms of spiders or more something like fear of failure?"

"Let's start with physical situations, we'll save the emotional for after."

"I'm afraid of small spaces."

"Claustrophobia," he hummed. "Have you always been afraid of this?"

She shrugged. "It started when I was ten and just got worse. I'm not sure what caused it." He nodded, writing something in his notepad.

"What about the fears that hold you back in life? The ones with imaginary scenarios that just seem to spiral."

"I have a fear of failure, so I usually end up not trying." He once again wrote something down before reaching up to adjust his glasses.

"Do you remember any of the times your father took you and Lucian to Gotham University?" Her brother's name sounded like venom when he said it.

His voice seemed to fill the room now, loud enough it was making her anxious.

"Not really. I was very young."

The room was growing hotter by the second.

"Could you take these cuffs off? They're very tight."

He stood from the chair, placing the notepad down and approaching her. Her whole body froze when he leaned down, sitting next to her. His hand gently pressed to the back of her neck, the feeling of his skin on hers sent shivers throughout her body. Slowly, his hand traveled down her spine. She shifted uncomfortably, trying to twist from him as he got closer to her lower back.

His face had leaned closer to her ear. She felt his warm breath and shuddered.

His hand slowed once it reached her tailbone, thumb brushing over the peak of her ass. She didn't realize she was frozen in fear of what he was doing. She thought he would go further down, but instead his hand slid to her wrists and she felt a tight pain when he squeezed the cuffs tighter into place. She yelped as he yanked her wrists slightly so she leaned into him. Her wrists now pulsating as blood found it harder to circulate.

"I'm sorry," he said, tone full of mock sincerity, a malicious look in his eyes. "Is that still too tight."

He released her and returned to his chair like nothing had happened. Valeria could feel her heartbeat in her ears as well as a headache coming on.

"So is this it? We just sit and talk about me while you continue to be a jackass? Just like we've been doing?" Her voice shook. He chuckled at her question.

"No, my dear. This is simply a formality. Let me ask, do you also have a fear of intimacy?"

"No," her voice was quick and she cursed herself for it.

"Tsk, tsk," he clicked his tongue. "You're lying to me, Valeria. Do you remember what that leads to?"

"Yes, I have a fear of intimacy," she blurted out. "In all forms. Friendship, family. I'd say it's more vulnerability than intimacy."

He smiled, reaching up to remove his glasses and place them on the table next to him. "Are you perhaps a victim of sexual abuse?" She flinched at his words and shook her head.

"No, nothing like that."

She felt like he was reading everything about her as if she were an open book. She was feeling ill, the same way she had felt the night before when she was given the pill.

"Fear takes many different forms: fight, flight, freeze, fawn. You're reaction to me being so close to you shows a freeze response. When you were younger it was fight."

The room was spinning, Valeria had to lean forward to try and clear her head.

"What do you mean when I was younger?"

"Your father did inform you that you and I had met. Don't you remember?"

She tried to remember, memories like that had been blocked out. Unless it was a good memory of Lucian she didn't want to recall her childhood.

"No, I don't. Nor do I care."

This time when he leaned forward he placed a hand on her thigh, eyes locked with hers.

"Perhaps you should."

She felt trapped again, the walls seemed to close in on her. His hand burned the spot it touched. She knew what he was doing, playing on her fears. All he did was toy with her.

"If you did anything worth remembering, I would. But you don't seem to do many memorable things," she said.

His hand moved further up. Her breathing become more rapid. She started yanking against the cuffs.

he studied her for a moment, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a pill bottle.

"I'm going to give you a pill. It's effects are stronger than the one you took yesterday. Perhaps this will have a better result."

Removing his hand from her thigh, he popped off the cap and grabbed a pill.

She clenched her lips shut when he stood and walked in front of her.

"Very well, I'll make sure the guards are sent home."

Valeria immediately opened her mouth so he could drop the pill in. He held out the water for her to drink.

The liquid sent the pill on its journey. She leaned her head back, wondering if she would puke.

"You were locked in one of the classroom closets," he said. "I heard the screaming and opened the door. There you were." Valeria shut her eyes, trying to block out his voice.

"I had a strong dislike for your father, he seemed to be an idiot. Then he brought his children to work and I detested him even more. Your brother wandered into my classroom, after a lecture, lost. His fear response was freeze, I could barely get him to talk. Then you came flying in the room, small but mighty I suppose. You had this rare form of anger. The kind where fear fuels it, fear keeps you alive. That is a rare. Fear usually causes people to shut down. You had an immediate distrust of me then as well. Even when I opened the closet door later that day. You were ready to challenge me."

Valeria saw a flash of the science closet where they stored lab coats. How had she gotten trapped in there?

"So imagine my surprise when I see you now. Your fear having shaped and evolved, or devolved. That is still to be determined."

She had banged on that door til her bones felt like they would break. Screamed til her throat was hoarse. The room was so small. She couldn't breathe, her chest was tight.

She was back in it, her whole body tense and uncontrollable while she rammed it into the door.

When she looked behind her it was not lab coats that hung from hangers.

In a tight row Lucian, Jane, Sebastian, and Teddy all hung from the coat pole. They were being held up by the nooses around their necks.

"No, no, no," she whispered, head shaking. There faces were all pale, bruises poked out from under the rope

"What do you see?" Suddenly she was back in reality. Dr. Crane was now half-sitting on the arm of the couch. His arm supporting him by gripping the back of it.

"This is what you gave Jane. You did do this to her." She turned her body towards him and scooched away to the other end of the couch, half-falling.

"I will admit the contact dosage on the water bottle usually does the trick. You seem to have a tolerance to fear, which is perfect for my research."

"Am I going to die?"

"No, not yet," Dr. Crane mused, moving towards her causing her to thrash her legs out.

"Don't touch me!"

He gripped her shins and with a hard yank her body slammed into his, painfully. Her legs on either side of his hips.

Too vulnerable, too intimate.

"W-what are you doing?" Her body shook under him.

"Testing something." He gave her a lascivious wink, but with the way her eyes were seeing things she thought it could've been in her mind. He leaned closer to her, she could feel all his body against her. The way his hips dug into her thighs, she tried not to let her mind focus on any other area.

She flushed at the rush of arousal that ran through her, possibly from the pain and fear. Her mind was spiraling, no longer feeling like her own.

"Intimacy you don't fight. Perhaps you're a runner instead of a deer." His hands rested on top of her thighs. She tried wiggling away but he dug his nails into her skin making her cry out.

"Be a good patient and hold still." His hand traced up to her hips while his body moved even closer, his lips inches from hers.

"Tell me what you saw and I'll stop." His hand inched upwards.

"I was in the closet again, but this time people were hanging in there."

"Who?"

"Lucian, Jane, Sebastian . . . . Just them."

His lips pursed. "Do you see anything else?"

Her eyes looked around the room. "Just shadows, hiding. Waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Demonic whispers filled the room.

"To tear me apart."

He grinned,"They'll have to wait in line."

"Don't hurt Jane or Sebastian. Leave them alone." He regarded her the way one would an unknown specimen.

"You behave and continue these little sessions of ours, taking my toxin willingly and I won't touch them. As long as you survive the dosages, that is." A cruel smile crossed his lips. She knew he could do this to her no matter if she agreed, so why not use it to others advantage?

"O-okay."

There was this glint in his eyes as he stared at her, she watched his aura turn a shade that made her even more nervous. He ran his tongue over his lips, seeming to be in a battle within his mind.

Then he was off of her so fast she felt her head spin. He adjusted his tie and jacket.

"You'll remain here until the toxin has worn off completely. I don't need anyone asking questions." He strided over and took a seat behind his desk, all focus on her gone.

Her whole body felt heavy, especially her eyelids. Fear was a dull presence in her mind as she gave into the unknown.

[jyndor]

rebelcaptain fantasy AU for a rebelcaptaintrees gift.

this is more of a concept than a full story but I actually am having fun in this little world so I may continue this at some point!

The forest is wild and vast. The crisp morning air warms up by the minute as sunlight breaks in between the endless army of trees standing guard around them. They’ve been walking for days and weeks, and Cassian’s tired. He’s been tired for years - since the beginning of all of this, so long ago in Fest - but there’s no time for stopping.

His gaze drifts to the woman leading their group. Her swords hang from her belt, ready to gut anything or anyone who’d challenge her. Her hair is falling out of the braid the princess tied her hair into last night, as they all sat around the campfire, sharing Solo’s wine and eating Baze’s freshly caught salmon.

She is lit up with purpose. He wonders if Saw’s words are ringing in her ears like they are his - if you continue on this journey, my lionhearted girl, what will you become? He knows she’s braver than anyone’s given her credit for, proud and scared and dreadfully homesick for a long-gone place.

The fog is lifting. Jyn’s looking back at him, green eyes thoughtful and fingers sparking again (Luke must be projecting again), flickering bright and bluer than the ancient pendant on his chain.

He knows what she is, what kind of magic she has. What she’s hidden for so long underneath the illusion of a thief and a roguish swordsman.

Mirror magic.

A gift to be exploited so that they may finally end this blasted war. Back in Yavin, General Draven all but promised Cassian a promotion, excitement all over his face at the discovery. As if Cassian had done something good in Spying on her, as if the Sight hadn’t made him sick with grief and anxiety.

Flashes of: Jyn Erso, trapped inside a childhood nightmare returned. Standing still in waist-high water as the tide comes in. Frozen with fear before she can even think to Reflect. The waves crash above her head and he loses her, chained up as he is - and someone keeps screaming her name, over and over, until the brightest light -

Cassian knows better than to look. He’s learned more about her by just seeing her with his own two eyes instead of reaching for his crystal and sneaking around her future.

A future. His Sight is another gift to the Alliance, of course, but only because he’s careful with it. As his mama once told him: the Sight never lies or misleads or halves the truth, but the Spy has poor vision.

From the front of their company, her eyes shine with understanding - has she just Reflected? He is far too well trained for her to Mirror him, even with whatever desperate half-training she might have done under Saw. Still, he feels himself unraveling more and more in her presence - and turns back to Bodhi Rook, the bard, the messenger, the best of them all.

Cassian Andor isn’t sure if she’s Spied on him (on her? his head aches) but it hardly matters. She is like him - she knows what she’s heading towards.

But what she doesn’t know is this:

He’ll stand beside her in that waist-high water, hold her tight and break through the nightmare. He’ll do what he must. For Fest, for Jedha and Alderaan.

For his hope for a future without Imperial black and white, and perhaps for the fledgling spark in his chest - what his papa called the oldest magic.

The secret precious thing he can’t name.

...

When the future comes, it looks a little different than what the Sight showed him.

For one, they are not by the ocean; they are still in the Great Wood.

The man in the white cloak has trapped her in some horrible nightmare, but now he’s dead - Cassian’s hands and his sword are covered in blood, and his heart aches for having taken this from Jyn. Her mother’s murderer. Her father’s captor.

But they can deal with that later. He’s just so happy she’s alive.

“Jyn,” he calls to her in a whisper, brushing his thumb over her cheek. She lies on the grass and the dirt, and he leans over her, half-desperate and heartsick. “It’s over now. Stardust. Please wake up.”

Her crystal is dull against her chest, but her eyes flutter open and she reaches up to his face, and though she has lost her magic, she mirrors him even now.

“You’re here.” She bites her lip and tries to access his Sight. He can see the strain in her forehead, until she gives up. “It’s really gone.”

Cassian presses his forehead to hers. “Fuck magic,” he says. “We’ve got our swords and each other. We’ll find the others, get out of this place and help the twins kill the Emperor. And then I’ll make you dinner, if you’ll have me.”

She lets her eyes fall shut, the hint of a smile on her lips. Like disbelief. “I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad.”

“Welcome home,” Cassian says and kisses her.