#great wizard cartman | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spiderrmax · 2 years ago

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my hand was the one you reached for

synopsis: after proving your loyalty to the drow elvess, they ask you to return to the humans in order to spy for them. you agree, and the new distance has you yearning for the king; he's yearning for you too. word count: 18.0k warnings: no army of darkness au. reader is a mage. their powers have negative effects on their body! descriptions of wounds from burns (fire & electricity) & cuts. violence & battles. kidnapping. cartman is an evil villain. reader is still the new kid, but occasionally talks. overused descriptions of the moon. author's note: it's been weeks but it's finally here! sorry for any continuity or grammar errors. please read the warnings, my descriptions aren't too graphic but they are there so be safe!

To gain a person’s trust tends to be a difficult task; gaining the trust of a kingdom was harder. Three days after being recruited to Kupa Keep, you found yourself taken to the Elves while on a mission for their enemy. Their King, Kyle, expressed fear for you, that you had united yourself with the wrong side, and gave you an offer. You were meant to bring the outliers to the elves, instead of Kupa Keep. With the use of nicer words and a lack of violence in your taking, you accepted the offer.

Stan, a knight the King thought highly off, was sent with you. He was there as your guide, a mentor as you completed the offer, and to distract any Kupa Keep members who might see you.

He was there to watch you tell the outliers of the Elves Kingdom and became an alibi to your character, and loyalty to the elves. Stan’s testaments of your person made you an honorary elf, even if you lacked the pointed ears.

It took you even longer to gain any sort of trust from the King. His green eyes pierced into you as if trying to find a lie inside somewhere. He dissected you, watching you train with the rest of the elves; in a few weeks, this distrust turned into curiosity; you were strong, and he’d be dense to ignore your skill set. If there was one thing the Grand Wizard did right was train you well.

“You’re strong,” He says, having watched you burn a practice dummy for a while. You jump at his voice, not realizing he had been watching.

All you could do was shrug and sheepishly smile. Staring at him, waiting to see if he’ll say anything else. “You’ll be a great addition to my kingdom.” He leaves after that.

You continue to notice him watching, but now it isn’t as intimidating; he’s more amused by your magic, and the way you constantly practice. There’s also how the wind blows in your hair, allowing him to see the focused look on your face. It gets distracting, but he can’t help but admire it when he sits on his throne with nothing but paperwork to do. Whenever you look back, his face burns pink. It makes you laugh, and he finds it to be a beautiful sound.

Your laughter, timid looks, and drive for magic are what cause Kyle to give you his trust, wholeheartedly.

This trust is why you found yourself sitting at the Elf Council, a meeting called a while after you found yourself a true member of the Elf Kingdom. Kupa Keep still had the stick, so a plan was needed; a plan would soon come.

The plan comes from Stan: for you to return Kupa Keep to have the upper hand when they take back the stick.

“I’m just saying, they would be bound to tell them. They just have to act as if we kidnapped them, and that would solidify the Grand Wizard’s trust in them. Plus [your name] is super strong, they’re one of the best mages I’ve seen. Maybe they even make them the protector.”

The council abrupts into murmurs at the idea, occasionally eyeing you, clad in purple robes.

“It’s a g-good idea. The grand wiz-wizard met them first, they probably think we have them tied up.” The bard, Jimmy, pipes in.

Timmy shouts out his name, in a positive tone to show his agreement.

You allow your eyes to trail up to King Kyle, who has been quiet since the idea was proposed. His crown casts a shadow over his face, but you can still find the wrinkles from thought on his forehead and the worry in his eyes.

“Your ma-majesty, your thoughts?” Jimmy inquires, the rest of the elves noticing his silence as well.

“I don’t know, I mean, sending them back seems wrong,” Kyle mutters, and the words scrap against his gritted teeth.

“King, with all due respect, we cannot let Kupa Keep have the stick any longer. This plan would guarantee we can find it.” Stan explains.

It’s not something Kyle needed to be written out, your presence at Kupa Keep and your loyalty to the kingdom, to him, would give his Kingdom a higher step. His inner turmoil is present on his face, in the minuscule details that his friends must not pick up on; you’ve memorized his face, his tiny moles, tiny scars from fighting, allowing you to notice it all.

He thinks for what feels like forever, as the weight of the task dawns on you; with this task, they’ve placed their entire kingdom in your hands. You feel honored, and when you can finally catch Kyle’s eye, you nod and smile at him. A simple action, but all he needs for reassurance.

Kyle clears his throat, gaining the attention of the council who dispersed into small conversations as he thought. “We will send [Your Name] tomorrow. We’ll make sure they have everything they need, and a way out of Kupa Keep if the situation calls for it. Elves, with [Your Name]’s help, we’ll get the stick back.”

He looks at you as he speaks, confidence in his voice, but the same concern in his eyes. With a flip of his hand, the meeting is adjourned. The members clap at his agreement to the proposal, standing up with glee at the first step to becoming ruler of the world again.

Your feet move you to go speak to the King, to maybe question his worrying looks, or discuss the details more, you aren’t sure; your heart yearns to speak to him. Unfortunately, you only make it halfway there, as on your fourth step Stan grabs your arm.

“Come on, you have to start packing.” He explains, and doesn’t let you argue; you're led out of the council room swiftly, only able to turn back once to see Kyle watching as you leave.

Luck, recently, has not been kind; it’s led you to become a pawn in a war. Maybe she was kind enough to guide you to the elves, but that’s all she has down to hold your hand. She prevents you from speaking to Kyle until it’s late at night. All the elves would be in bed, under the velvet sky splattered with stars. The only one to observe your conversation would be the moon.

You’ve left the door to your room ajar, an invite for him and only him; it does what it means to, lures him in to speak with you, away from the rest of the elves.

He appears without his crown, red curls free on his head. He’s forsaken any of the items that allow him to stand out, and in your presence forgoes the King title. Although he’s arrived, he doesn’t speak, not for a bit at least

“I don’t like this idea.” Kyle finally tells you, watching as you pack potions and items into your bag. Your moves are swift, grabbing exactly what you need.

He waits to see if you’ll grace him with a response, but when you don’t all he can do is sigh. “I just hate the idea of you not being within the Elf Kingdom walls. You’re safe here; something can happen out there.” He crosses his arm over his chest, leaning against the closest wall.

You don’t say anything, but you look up to meet his eyes; your lips curl into a reassuring smile, a silent way to tell him you’ll be okay.

“I get it, you can protect yourself. I just like knowing you’re here. I can keep you safe.” The confession makes Kyle’s face burn, ears, and cheeks painted red. He has to tuck his head down because he doesn’t want to risk looking at you.

The reassuring smile on your face pulls up, turning into a toothy grin; it’s the first thing he notices when he looks at you; it causes his lips to curl slightly when he glances up at you.

“I’ll be fine,” You speak, voice low, a whisper meant for him and the moon.

Kyle hasn’t heard you speak much; you’re quiet and what is required. Hearing you speak now, makes him wish you’d talk more, to be able to hear your gentle tone; a beautiful contrast to the war he’s been in since he’s been, king.

Your words have a desirable effect, unwinding Kyle’s shoulders, having been strung up with everything he’s carried. He grins at your voice, walking away from where he’s been leaning against your wall; he reaches for your hand, grabbing at it, tenderly. It’s silly, how delicate he treats you as if these hands hadn’t wounded humans and elves alike. All he can see is your humanity, your trust, and your care for him.

Rubbing his thumb over your scarred knuckles, he catches your eye. They crinkled, having risen when he began grinning at you.

“I know you will be. You come back to me, with the stick, okay?” His voice is low as if scared of his own benevolence.

And if Kyle kisses you after that, his free hand going to cradle your cheek while the other stays in your hand, squeezing it in hopes it’ll assure your safety; only the moon is there to witness it.

As the elves had planned, you leave the next morning. You were the cloak you arrived in, making sure it is tattered and grimy, to ensure they think you’ve only harbored negative feelings for the elves. There are cuts on your face from sparring with the elves, but with a few lies they instead come from your tormentors, the elves who enjoyed hurting you as you were kidnapped. Stan takes a rope to rub at your wrists and ankles, in hopes of making it seem as if you had been tied for an entirety; it burns as all ropes do, but by the end of it, you do look like an escaped prisoner.

Your cloak hides your face, a facade made to make it look like you’re on the run, as you walk toward where Kupa Keep is. The weather is chilling, the leaves warm colored and falling slowly at your feet, crunching occasionally. The clock you have on does little to keep the heat in, but your shivering helps with the escape prisoner facade you have to keep up. Your eyes never leave the ground, watching your feet take every single step, sore from your rug burns.

“[Your name]? Oh- oh hamburgers! The Grand Wizard is going to be so happy you escaped! Come on, let’s get you back.” Butters' voice breaks you from your thoughts, and you look up to see worried blue eyes boring into you. He was one of the only ones who cared to learn your name, and it’s still a shock when you’re called it. The fact that it’s him who finds you makes you want to snort at the irony; instead, you muster up a watery smile.

He grabs your wrist to guide you, but when you wince he lets go. “Oh, those godforsaken elves! You’re in bad shape.”

Guilt slowly gnaws at your stomach, for abusing his naivety like this; your dislike for the Grand Wizard doesn’t trickle down to some of the Kupa Keep members.

His hands hover above your wrist, and when you nod, loosely lace around it.

Butters fills the entire walk back with how it’s been since you were kidnapped: the attempts the group made to get you back, how many elves they fought, and how he’s controlling his electricity powers. He makes the walk go faster, and soon you two are at Kupa Keep’s walls. A head pokes over the wall, hearing your arrival. You recognize him as Clyde, a merchant often responsible for looking out.

“Butters? Who is that with you?” He calls over, eyeing you. Realizing your cloak is still covering most of your face, you pull it down, freeing your hair and allowing you to be seen.

“I found [Your Name]! They must’ve gotten free somehow!” Butters explain as Clyde opens the gates to allow you in.

“Holy shit. You did. I’ll go get the Grand Wizard.” Clyde runs off, leaving you with Butters as the gates close behind you.

Back in the walls of Kupa Keep, the plan can start. You grin slightly to yourself, ready to get the stick back and hand the universe over to the elves.

The Grand Wizard doesn’t come to speak to you until later in the afternoon, busy in his meeting, presumably talking about arrival. You’re taken into a tent, made of blue fabric, and forced to sit until he can come and speak with you. Butters keep you entertained, somehow filled with even more stories and random topics to talk about.

“My god. I thought Clyde was being an asshole and lying to me. You are here.” The Grand Wizard speaks, and you shift to look at him. You smile, without teeth, and he seems to glare at you.

“So. The elves let you out?” He asks, eyes squinting suspiciously; you bite your tongue, to keep the guilt away from your features.

“No! [Your Name] got free. Look at their wrists. Those stupid elves had them tied up good!” Butters explains, pulling up your sleeves so the wizard can get a good look at how the elves treated you.

“I need the whole story. Butters get them some paper. You get ten minutes, okay?” The wizard points at you, as Butters scampers to get paper, a quill, and some ink. He turns to leave as soon as you nod.

“Okay, uh, I’m gonna leave you alone, write a good story!” Butters runs out, trailing behind the wizard.

Picking up the quill, you dip it into the container filled with black ink. After Kyle had left your room last night, you were unable to sleep; as you stared at the sky, watching it sparkle, you came up with a fake story to tell. After you had been kidnapped, the elves kept you tied up, deep in their kingdom which might be why they couldn’t get to you. They’d untie you to allow you to eat and sleep, but you’d be put in a chamber during those moments. The longer you were there, and a lack of reactivity from the humans made them careless with their knots; you were able to escape at night when the guard who kept watch fell asleep.

You finished writing with a minute to spare, and as you waited for the wizard’s return, stretched the muscles in your wrist, making the bone pop.

“Okay, [Your Name], wow me with your story.” The wizard pushes the curtain of the room you're in back, walking in with Butters at his side.

You hand him the paper, and he snatches it quickly, smudging some ink under his thumb. His eyes scan the paper, squinting before widening as he laughs.

“Elves are so stupid, oh my god. I’m so glad you’re back.” The Grand Wizard, Cartman, holds his hand out for you to take. As you do it, you only can think about how he is inviting his enemy in.

Luck still isn’t your friend, in fact, you think she’s your enemy now. You were hoping the stick was in its original place, at the front of the castle to be shown off. The Grand Wizard had it moved after you were taken, in fear you’d tell the elves where it was. A mission that could’ve taken a week now has to take months. (You miss the warmth that comes from being with the elves. The humans are cold, focused on the war, and tend to make you sleep outside. Kyle was your sun, a burning blaze that felt homely.)

It’s no surprise that the Grand Wizard is hesitant with you, cautious with his words, and treating you as a threat. You overheard him one day expressing to Butters a fear that the elves had gotten deep into your head, rewiring your alliances and ruining you. (He’s right, of course, but all you can do is play the role of the victim, hurt by this.)

All the missions he sends you on are accompanied by Buttes, like the old days, and require you to fight the elves, your allies; they become your enemy on the field. Most drow elves know about the plan and don’t act hurt by your attacks. A few bruises are a nice price to pay to have the universe back in their kingdom. It still hurts, to throw spells at those you call your friends; you can only hope the empathy isn’t noticeable.

In order to rebuild the trust that was shredded in the months of your kidnapping, you perform small acts. You shine the swords, dust any shelves, make snacks for the humans who had draining missions, anything and everything that the others find tedious. It works, breaking down the Grand Wizard every day.

After a month of your arrival, he no longer is sending you out just to beat up elves. He trains you again, saying you were a decent mage who needed training from someone with his expertise.

“Those elves don’t understand magic. Took you and didn’t even try to use their potential. That king is so stupid.” Cartman says the first day of your training. (You aren’t allowed to call him by his name; he enjoys his title too much.)

The sun burns into you, causing you to discard the new cape they gave you, a blue robe with stars embroidered into it. You’re left in a loose blouse, pushed just below your elbows. Magic is easier without gloves, so you remove the pair you typically wear due to how cold it gets at night.

Cartman makes you stand in front of a dummy, far enough that you have to be precise with your aim.

“Last time you were here, I had you practicing a fire spell. You’re pretty okay with it now, thanks to me, so I’m going to have you try and master an electricity spell. Butters may be able to help, but he’s no Grand Wizard.” Cartman gloats as he guides you. He paces while he walks, hands folded behind his back as if training you is a laborious task.

“I’ve mastered everything — I’m the Grand Wizard for a reason — so copy my form,” Cartman orders, standing straight, feet lined up with his shoulders, hands straight out as well; you replicate it.

“Lighting can take a lot out of you, so you have to keep your muscles tight. Expect a large impact or else you’ll fall and become vulnerable,” His advice is good, and you nod along, “You may experience some burns from channeling it, but there’s probably something you can use to conduct it. I don’t need it, but a novice like you might.” You wonder if he can teach without bragging.

“It’s kinda crazy, lighting, that is. It’ll take you a bit to get a hold of it. Watch me, then try.” Cartman’s eyes close, and you watch as sparks flutter out from the soft palms of his hand. In a quick moment, those sparks become bolts, shooting out at the dummy, and singeing it in an instant.

He doesn’t say anything, but looks at you, motioning for you to try. Your eyes flutter shut, as you tense up, trying to find the electricity that flows in you. It takes you longer than he did, to locate it and conjure it up to your fingertips. A wince escapes your lips as the bolts start to burn you, but you stand tall, and find the strength to shoot the dummy. When you open your eyes, you see that your bolts missed the target, but still hit the dummy. You grin at your victory and look at Cartman for his thoughts.

“Pretty good for a novice, keep at it. I’ll check on your progress before the sun sets.” With that, he leaves.

You sigh once he leaves; the sun is still high in the sky. Summoning lighting becomes easier each time you do it, finding the excess energy swiftly. Your fingers burn and bleed, unable to heal due to your brutal training.

Cartman comes back far after the sun has set, presumably forgetting about you. Your lighting lights up the training area and strikes the dummy right in the middle of the target. Cartman nods in approval, then dismisses you for bed. Your fingers bleed and burn, and the moon can only watch.

Dear Kyle,

I hope life in the Elf Kingdom is treating you kinder than how the humans have treated me. Returning here has reminded me of why I chose your kingdom, and you, rather than return to the Grand Wizard. I’ve been getting stronger with my powers, he has me training constantly now that I’ve earned my place back in his world. My hands hurt, but I’ll be able to fight by your side soon.

He hasn’t informed me of the stick’s location, but I hope that I can get it out from his Paladin. I do know it’s in the castle because he constantly has someone in there on guard. I sleep outside, so I haven’t been able to explore the halls. His trust has limits.

I miss you, and all the other elves. It’s weird how cold it feels here, especially at night. The sun keeps me hot, but that warmth is superficial. Not the same warmth I’d get with you.

Every time I can’t sleep, I stare at the sky, studying the stars and trying to remember the constellations you told me about. I like to think the moon is watching over us, a guardian while we are separated. That’s dumb, of course. But I can’t help but see you in the moonlight. I hope you think of me as well. Kissing me as a goodbye was quite cruel, but you’ll just have to kiss me again the next time you see me. I hope it’s soon.

Sending this letter is risky, and I hope my raven isn’t intercepted. I needed you to know I’m fine, and I’m closer to getting the stick. I’m sorry it’s taking me so long, I’ll be home any day now.

[Your name].

In a futile attempt, you try not to get your hopes up about getting a response from Kyle. It was risky for you to send the letter, no doubt that the Grand Wizard would read it if he had the chance, but you sent it late when only the moon could see. Maybe as an apology, Luck allows your raven to fly, into the walls of the Elf Kingdom and the hands of your king.

You start going through the mail in hopes of seeing something from Kyle; nothing ever comes. It shouldn’t, it might put everything at risk. Your heart still yearns for something, his script handwriting and parchment.

Cartman has you training more with the lighting, with the aid of Butters who can summon it without being a mage. He seems to pull it from the sky, an unlimited source. You’ve gotten good with aiming and firing, speeding up the process so you aren’t left standing for a moment, leaving your enemy open to striking. The last few days, your training involved you trying to aim at the dummy while Butters would swing at you in a way an enemy would. It left your sides bruised, a dark purple, but soon you could conure the lighting while moving.

Like any other day, you’re standing with the dummies. In a freshly-washed loose-fitting blouse and a pair of pants that sit above your boots, you continue to practice the new skill. Your fingers are wrapped in bandages, and Butters occasionally has healed your wounds for you. A part of you wishes for a new spell to learn, but there’d be no point proposing it to the grand wizard; he’d say no.

Butters come running a few hours into your training. “[Your name]! The Grand Wizard has a mission for us, we gotta go!” He’s waving a map and a piece of paper, detailing your job.

As you put on your cloak, and a pair of gloves to cover your wounded hands, he reads the paper, “‘Some elves are positioning themselves too close to the walls of our kingdom. You are responsible for the removal of those elves, and keeping Kupa Keep’s walls safe from their attacks.’”

You run a hand through your hair, before walking over next to Butters. “Ready to go and beat up some elves?” You nod; you’ve mastered the art of a fake smile.

Butters leads you out of the walls of Kupa Keep, and you head left, the same path you always take. There are some bordering villages outside both of the kingdoms, where you can buy potions and other weapons; it’s often where the squabbles between the humans and the elves occur. Both of the kingdoms tend to fight in their streets, due to the dark alleyways and hiding spots littered on the streets. None of the villagers have complained too heavily, due to a lack of damage to their townhouses and the stands where they sell their items.

However, the town you are in is closer to Kupa Keep, and it seems the elves are just there to pick a battle. It was another plan that came into work during your time as an elf: to have elves positioned in those towns to make shopping for potions, armor, and weapons harder. On some occasions, the elves would make them have to leave and get help if they failed to prepare. It made humans forced to waste items, but now as a human, you wish it was never suggested.

A whistle comes from Butter’s lips, an untuned song meant to fill the empty streets. A part of you feels bad that these people have to flee when you arrive; the other says they don’t understand the value of the stick.

“Hey, while we are here, I need some strength potions, do ya mind if we get some?” He asks, voice slightly echoing; you shrug.

He starts walking towards the stands, where people are most prominent. There’s an unsaid agreement between the kingdoms to not fight on specific streets, due to civilian prominence. Butters reaches to grab the brown bag attached to his hip, filled with coins he’ll need for his purchase. He walks up to a stand that is commonly visited by everyone, and doesn’t need to say anything; he just points at the strength potion on display and lays down some coins. (Butters always tips, something you’ve noticed after coming to town with him for a while.)

“I got it! Oh, when we run into those elves I’ll be so ready!” He bounces on his feet, a contrast to the metal armor he wears.

As you two continue to walk, you look down every alleyway, and keep your ears open for any noise of scuttling. You don’t want to get caught off guard, unallowed to throw the first hit. Butters doesn’t talk, presumably doing what you are doing, but occasionally whistles.

The streets below your feet are made of gravel, rough and loud; every step you take can be heard by your enemy. (It’s weird to call them that, even with how long it’s been. You just want to be home.) Large shadows are cast by the tall buildings, making them seem darker than it is. A few banners are strung up around town, evidence of some parade that must’ve occurred. Some people have wet clothes hanging to dry, but in this part of town, that must take hours.

Being distracted is the worst thing a soldier can be, so you stop focusing on the minuscule details, and stare straight ahead, looking for the elves you’ve come to defeat.

The two of you have to walk a bit more before you’ve located them. They’re found in an alleyway near the center point of the town. They aren’t even hiding, really, just standing there talking about the two jesters who’ve come to perform.

“Ah-ha! We got you now, you silly elves!” Butters arms himself with his hammer, and you follow suit, getting into position and having your melee weapon at your disposal.

The brown-haired elven swordsman looks at his bowman, before making a head gesture at the two of you. They turn their backs to share something – a strategy or a potion – before turning to fight you.

Having found them, you and Butters get to be on the offense. Before attacking, you use a strength potion. You stand in position to use the spell you’ve been learning, and conjure lighting out of your hands fast; your training proves its worth. Your spell hits both of the elves, and you can see the bleeding it causes almost immediately. Butters does the same; using lighting from the sky to shoot it at the elves. Their bleeding gets worse. (They’re your enemy. You have to repeat it like a mantra, a prayer you won’t break.)

Then, it’s their turn. The bowmen fire three arrows at Butters; he is only able to block two of them. The other hits, but luckily doesn’t pierce. The swordsman goes after you, not before drinking a potion as well. He attempts to hit you twice, but you successfully block it with your mace.

Your strength potion hasn’t worn off, so you don’t take another drink. You wish you could use another lightning spell, but using it on an opponent is more draining than you’d thought it’d be. Taking a breath, you do a simple fire spell and shoot it at the swordsman. It’s enough to knock him down, so it’s up to Butters to get the bowman.

Butters uses his strength potion now, taking a sip to be able to ensure your victory in this battle. He swings his hammer, effectively knocking the bowman down. “I hope they’re just sleeping.” (You hope so too.)

With their bodies limp, but still breathing, you walk up to raid it, a common practice. The bowman has a few arrows you take and a health potion. When you reach for the swordsman, however, he reaches up and grabs you.

“Sh.” He whispers, pain clear in his tone. You look to see if Butters is watching, but he’s distracted by a bird that’s landed close by. You look back and see the elf holding a folded piece of paper.

You take it, shoving it into your cloak pocket before standing up to go near Butters, not wanting to dwindle and raise suspicion

“Anything interesting?” Butters asks, the bird flying away due to the sound of your boots on gravel.

You shake your head no, knowing that the paper is burning a hole in your pocket, and you can barely wait to see what the Kingdom needs from you.

The folded paper is read under the moonlight again; you've read it at least ten times by now, giddy to have a reminder of your king.

[Your name],

Do not send another letter. Meet me at Stark's Pond tonight after the sun has set.

Your King,

Kyle

His handwriting is neat, script and filled with over exaggerated loops and giant tails. It's the first thing you've had of him in a while, and you cradle the paper delicately.

Until you have to shove it in your pockets as you leave. You don’t try to be quiet and stealth-like, knowing it would just raise suspicion, and instead walk like you know where you’re going.

It’s only Clyde who stops you, set on duty at the gate.

“Where are you going?” He asks, tone worn down due to exhaustion.

You move your head in the way of the gates. Out.

“Is this for a mission? Or do you just want to take a walk?” He questions, but you can tell he doesn’t care; you hold up two fingers, for the second option.

“Sounds good to me. Be back soon.” With that, you’re free to leave.

Without a human sidekick with you, you don’t have to worry about elves ambushing you. Although with how late it is, you imagine that no one is out to fight anyway.

To get to Stark’s Pond, you have to go through the same town you’d been in earlier. Without tall shadows, and the addition of moonlight, the town is less eerie than it is in the day. You can see light coming from certain windows and the shadows of people inside. A couple dances in one, and you can see dinner being served through another. The normalcy is comforting, something you find yourself yearning for. Maybe life could be different if you never saved Butters, but then you wouldn’t have met Kyle; that’s something you’d sacrifice normalcy for.

You make it through the town fast, due to the lack of surveillance you have to do. The gravel isn’t as loud, or maybe you’re more focused on the lives of the townspeople. Soon enough, you’re out of it and find yourself on a rough dirt path. Trees and shrubbery line the path, directing you to Stark’s pond; it’s not a place you’ve visited often, so you’re grateful for the natural made guide.

As you approach the pond, you can see Kyle; he stands tall, even outside of his kingdom. His crown is on his head, making his shadow more noticeable. Although that doesn't matter, you think you could find him anywhere, your heart is a guide only to him.

“Sending me that letter was super risky, you know that right? You could’ve put yourself at risk.” He turns to look at you, eyes glaring, and his jaw tense.

All you can do is shrug, a bashful grin on your face. Maybe he thinks you’ll respond, or explain, but you don’t.

“What would’ve happened if your raven was hurt? We had the plan to get you out, but if you got stuck inside there’d be nothing we could do without starting a war. It was a stupid move.” Anger is laced in his tone, and you’ve heard him speak like this before, but it’s weird to be on the receiving end.

“I’m sorry,” You finally say, as his anger leaks into the air, making the atmosphere tense. You don’t want him mad at you, you don’t know the next time you’ll see him.

His eyes meet yours, piercing and hard, before softening slightly. “I’m just glad it worked out. It was nice to hear from you, even without the stick.”

Your bashful grin turns into a toothy smile. Having been separated for so long, you forgot how giddy he can make you feel; you hope it isn’t noticeable. He smiles back.

His hand, clad in green leather, reaches for yours, still bandaged. Some of the bandages are old, dried blood seen around the edges; some fingers have bled through the gauze, needing to be replaced. The lighting spell, although strong, has not been kind to you. Your fingers haven’t stopped being sore and burning since you started practicing, and you aren’t given an opportunity to allow them to rest. Your body hasn’t become accustomed to bolts that come from you, you wonder if it ever will. (Your fire spell has left your palms burned before, but the burns are always minor and heal over time.)

“Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. Do they even heal you there?” Kyle says as he grabs one of your hands, bringing it up to be able to analyze it. He turns your hand, looking at your palm, and one of his fingers traces the lighting burns on your hand. The gesture would be romantic, had the skin not been tender. You wince, not meaning to, and it’s loud in the silence.

Kyle curses at your pained face, lightening his hold on your hand. He brings it up to his lips, placing a delicate kiss on the skin where your wrist and palm meet.

He doesn’t say anything else about it, letting your hand go after the affection. He motions for you to follow him, and leads you to a patch of grass near the pond’s shore. Smoothing out his cape, he sits down on the cold grass. When you stand awkwardly, he looks back up at you, a silent request for you to sit with him. You leave a bit of space between the two of you as you sit. Your knees are pulled up and tucked under your chin, providing some warmth against the frigid night.

“I know, you’re supposed to stay in there until you can get the stick’s location, but it feels weird not having you in my kingdom,” He starts, staring at the water, ears red from both the cold and embarrassment. “Having the stick would be great, but having you back seems like a better deal. You could come home, right now? No one would be upset with you.”

You smile unconsciously as he admits to missing you, but it dims when you realize what he’s asking of you. You have been in Kupa Keep for two months now, and even if it burns to admit, you aren’t any closer to finding the sticks. The best information you could provide was some of their battle strategies and routines, but that couldn’t guarantee to get the stick, the universe, back.

He looks at you, eyes pleading, as he waits for your answer. Going home seems nice, to feel the warmth of their walls, and finally have your hands healed fully. However, you can’t go home. Not yet. Not after your promise.

You shake your head, telling him No.

He laughs, although it sounds slightly devastated, “You’re so stubborn. I won’t force you to come back, but can you promise me one more month? No matter if you have the stick or not, in one month you return to me.”

You grin up at him, placing bandaged hands on his cheeks and colliding your lips. You don’t need to say anything, because returning to him is something you’ll always do. He grins into it, lips slightly chapped and bitten down, but it’s perfect nonetheless.

The moon watches, sparkling, as two hearts intertwine.

Having spent most of the night out, you wake up the next morning exhausted. The tiredness, although dreadful, is appreciated, allowing you to remember your limited time with Kyle. As you recall what he said, a month to get the stick. A month to prove yourself.

Before falling asleep, you were able to come up with a plan; a plan involving your peer, Butters. On the way back home from your mission yesterday, Butters mentioned his job for tomorrow (today, now). He was excited, as the Grand Wizard rarely trusted him with anything less than a patrol job.

“He’s got me on stick duty, buddy! I’m gonna be in its presence, and be its protector.” He told you. Your mind hadn’t been paying attention to anything he said, until that detail. Butters was a nicer human, kind but also extremely naive; manipulating him could be easy.

You fell asleep in the clothes you wore last night, so before leaving your tent, you change. A pair of loose brown pants, a clean forest green blouse, and a white cloak on your shoulders make up your outfit. You double-knot the laces, and before you leave, you realize you need a way to communicate with Butters. Finding a piece of discarded paper, and making sure both sides are empty, scribble something down.

I don’t have any job today, can I join you?

You can’t remember if you have a job, as you are often teamed up with Butters or Princess Kenny to have someone keeping watch of you; considering Butters is on guard duty, and Princess Kenny didn’t talk to you at all yesterday, you think it’s safe to assume they’d only want you training today. (Maybe it’s good to give your hands a break.)

With it grasped in your hand, you think you can leave; you can only hope it’s enough. Luckily, you’re up early enough that he hasn’t been put on his duty; he’s standing outside the castle walls, bouncing on the heels of his feet. His armor is the same, but the undershirt is now a red color, whereas it’s typically blue.

He looks up to see you walking over, and waves. You bite back a yawn, as you go to stand to his left.

“Oh, I’m so excited! I get to be on stick duty! I’ve never done it before, and I’ve told you this before haven’t I?” His face burns slightly with embarrassment, but the smile on his face doesn’t falter.

You nod your head, grinning slightly at him. You hope this works.

He goes on to ramble about something, maybe his excitement again, but you cut him off by handing him the note. To play embarrassment, you fiddle with your thumbs.

“Aw! You wanna join me? Uhm, I don’t know if you can, this is an important job,” He trails off, before perking up, “Maybe we can ask Princess Kenny! The Grand Wizard sleeps late typically.”

Butters grabs your hand and walks you away from the castle so you can look up into the tower Princess Kenny inhabits.

“Princess Kenny!” Butters yells, “Princess Kenny!” He continues yelling his name, only getting louder each time he calls out.

Princess Kenny peers over the ledge, eyes squinting and crown thrown on haphazardly.

“Can [your name] work with me today? Pretty please!” Butters begs, eyes pleading and wide.

“I don’t fucking care.” He says, before going back into his tower and falling asleep.

Butters cheers, and you can’t help but grin; the plan worked! Butters squeezes your hand, excitement radiating from him. He waves goodbye to Princess Kenny with his free hand and guides you back to the castle, where Craig is leaving his night job of stick guarding.

“Hiya! Craig. It’s my turn!” Butters voice is loud and jarring, and Craig jumps at it. Craig squints, then glares, before handing Butters the keys to the rooms in the castle.

“Okay cool, I’m going to bed.” He leaves afterward. Your conversations with him are always brief, with a clear lack of care in his tone. It’s respectable.

Butters guides you into the castle. It’s dimly lit, with torches evenly spaced giving little light. The only natural light comes from the window in the throne room, where the hallway leads, but you don’t make it that far. The second door on the right, that’s the one Butter unlocks with a bronze key. Once the two of you are through, Butters makes sure to lock it. The door leads you into another hallway, built out of stone and lit similarly. You continue walking until the two of you reach the third door on the left. (Second door on the right, third door on the left.)

Using a silver key with a blue gem on its head, Butters opens the door. This doesn’t lead into a hallway, but a staircase, dark with no lighting. You look at Butters, silently questioning if the two of you can make it down safely.

“Hamburgers. I’ll grab a torch, hold the door,” He doesn’t give you a moment to respond, before leaving you to hold the heavyweight of the door. Training more with magic than with your muscles, it’s a strain to do so, causing your tender hands to ache under it.

“I got it! I got it, we’re good.” Buttes laugh, walking through the frame, and allowing you to shut it behind you. Before heading down, he locks the door; his respect for this job is clear, as he is thorough with what he does.

The staircase turns four times, and isn’t too draining of a walk; it’s to be expected, the sword to be hidden away from the world. The Grand Wizard enjoys holding it, you’ve seen how he cradles it like a lover, but even he knows how to protect it.

The door at the end of the staircase is unlocked, and the two of you can just push through. Butter grumbles under his breath about Craig not respecting the stick. You’d laugh, but you don’t want him to become upset with you either.

You keep walking down the hallway, then turn left. There, you go into the first door on the right. You wonder if he designed the castle solely to keep the stick safe, and what could be found in the other rooms. Maybe they are all decoys, you wouldn’t be surprised if he made fake rooms. (Second door on the right, third door on the left, all the way down the hallway, turn left, first door on the right.)

However, when Butters opens the door, you notice the new hallway is long, but lacks the doors on the wall. A bright light shines at the end, and with how Butters is bouncing with each step, you know what is at the end. Exhilaration flows through your body at your victory; there is a slight hop in your step as you trail behind Butters.

There, the stick lays, a brown branch with small twigs, that control the universe. It lays on a platform that has a green cloth draped over it, with a pillow of the same color under the stick. The stick seems to glow with power, and you can feel its presence despite just entering the room. Bright light fills the room, which lights up with string lights to show the stick off.

“Are you ready?” Butters asks, smiling with his teeth showing.

You nod, ready to defend the stick, and now ready to steal it; you miss the movement from the shadows.

Dear Kyle,

Second door on the right, third door on the left, all the way down the hallway, turn left, first door on the right.

That’s where the stick is. Those directions. The doors are always locked, so bring explosives whenever you attack.

Okay, that’s all I needed to get down before I forgot. I got Butters to show me today as I promised. One month.

I know you said no more letters, but I needed you to get this information fast. I haven’t seen the Grand Wizard in a bit, and I don’t know if that means everything.

I’ll try to take patrol as often as possible. Write back to me as soon as you get this, okay? Be safe.

Love,

[your name].

You fold the letter twice, once vertically and once horizontally to ensure that it’ll fit nicely on the raven you’ll use. You don’t leave until the cover of night, in order to allow your raven enough air time to get to Kyle.

Like most nights in Kupa Keep, it’s brisk; there is no wind, and the cold doesn’t move around you. There is no cloak on your shoulders, due to the fact you wanted to be out for as little time as possible. It feels nice on your hands, free from bandages in order to breathe a bit.

The untied laces of your boot cause you to stumble, but you catch yourself. Fear of the loud noise causes you to slowly scan the area. The only person you can see is Tolkien, who got put on night watch duty tonight. He doesn’t turn to look at you though, and you let out a sigh you can see.

The raven post is in the far right corner of the kingdom, the opposite of where you sleep, and you carefully walk past the castle once you notice the breeze entering Princess Kenny’s room. You rise onto your toes, hoping it will muffle the sound; you fall back onto your heels once you believe you are far away. The rest of the walk goes smoothly after that.

No one ever locks the door into the raven post, so breaking into it isn’t an issue. It’s getting a raven that is difficult, as their cages are always locked. Luckily, after months of living here, you’ve collected enough scrap pieces of metal to make a lock pick. The bird stirs awake as you mess with its cage, dark beady eyes staring. Using the fake lock pick finds itself to be quite difficult, and it takes you an embarrassing amount of time to open it; however, you haven’t damaged the lock, which allows you to feel safe from anyone catching it.

The raven is still sleepy, so you handle it carefully. Taking a piece of thin rope, you begin to tie the note securely to its chess. Before you can tie the final knot, a voice calls out to you.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about who you’d need to send a letter to,” The voice rough with a slight lisp, “Because the humans should be your only friends.”

His voice, The Grand Wizard’s voice, makes you jump while your heart drops, knowing you’ve been caught. How could you be so careless? Maybe it was your carelessness, the deadline looming over your head combined with a need to prove yourself. Who knows, but even if you’re caught, maybe you can get the raven out. Hopefully.

“I mean, I was the one who took you in. You had no one, and I saw your strength when you fought the elf, for no reason other than to help Butters. Yet, here you are, sending letters to a friend.” Cartman paces when he walks, and your eyes can’t be torn away from him.

“This isn’t the first one, I know that. You’re lucky, I couldn’t get that one. By the time I realized a raven was missing it returned with no letter. That’s strange because a friend replies, don’t they? Who would you send a letter to that would fear it getting read?” Cartman asks, and you know it’s rhetorical, know he enjoys seeing you squirm as you both know what he knows.

“I’d have let it go, I assumed it was to your dead parents. But then you disappeared a couple of nights ago. I saw your tent was empty, and I care deeply for my soldiers.” He smirks as he says, “I asked around and got an answer from Clyde. He said you went on a walk, and that seemed fair. It can get stuffy, I go on walks. In the morning, I asked if he remembered when you returned. He couldn’t, because you were out for so long, he fell asleep.” Why didn’t you think of these details? How careless could you get?

“A long walk, I assume it was a meeting now, and a letter to someone who could not reply. And then there is yesterday,” His smirk grows tenfold, teeth showing as he looks at you, “You had training, you do know that? I mean, it’s not an official job, but I did have plans to teach you a new spell. You’re great with that lighting one, I’m a great teacher.”

At this point, he doesn’t pace anymore, and decides to stand a few feet in front of you, “But again, you were nowhere to be found. I asked Tweek, who was at the training ground, and he told me you never were there. I would’ve asked Craig, but he was out. Then,” He pauses, for the dramatics, “I asked Princess Kenny. She knew who you were.”

Your heart drops again, settling in your stomach, heavy as a rock. You turn back to the bird, sitting there, patiently waiting for an order; Cartman watches you before laughing. “That letter will be sent, don’t worry.” (What’s his plan?)

“Anyways, when I asked the Princess, she said you were with Butters. And that I couldn’t believe, because Butters was guarding the stick, a job I hadn’t given you. But, I went down to the stick, and there you were, standing in the light, in awe of the stick, and its location.” Cartman sighs, faking disappointment. “Using Butters was a low blow.”

You think about using a spell, knocking him out, sending out the bird, then running to the Elf Kingdom. Maybe you could, but it’d take everything out of you to get him in one blow; you couldn’t risk having to do it twice, as treason could loom over your head.

“Here’s the thing, I want to keep the stick. And I know your letters are a guide for the elves to get it. I’m going to use you, and your letter, to lure them in, and when they come for the stick, I’ll defeat them for good, guaranteeing my status as ruler of the universe.” He makes eye contact with you, then looks to the left, before nodding.

You don’t know who he nodded to, as the person standing behind you is swift with stunning you with the blunt end of their weapon; you presume it’s Craig, but you can’t see as your vision goes blurry. Cartman reaches over your body to grab the bird.

The last thing you see is your letter being untied from its body; unwillingly, you close your eyes. The moon can only watch, gleaming through the window.

Kyle thinks the days drag on longer now that there is a date you’ll return home; the sun digging in its heels to prolong his sufferings. He tries to busy himself with paperwork, but most of it has been about replacing supplies and paying for war damages. When that’s done, he finds himself practicing with his bow and sword. He places the target farther every time he practices, but it doesn’t make it any more of a challenge. The splintering of the bows is only a temporary distraction because while he’s out, he subconsciously looks at the dummies, the one you used is noticeable due to the burns on it. There are a few mage elves there, but none of them are who Kyle is looking for.

Now that he has your arrival on a calendar, he finds himself marking off the days that pass by. It’s only day twenty-eight, but the countdown reassures him of your arrival. It’s set in stone, written into the stars; in twenty-eight days you will be home and in his arms.

It’s hard not to think about you, especially with the meeting at Stark’s Pond. There was something about the burn scars on your arms, the implications of what that can mean that keeps him up at night. He has never liked the Grand Wizard, and that hatred burns deeper than just opposing factions. The man is cruel, and with his treatment of you, the abuse of the power of the stick, and the “He has me training constantly now that I’ve earned my place back in his world. My hands hurt.” To cope with his desperate loneliness and temper, he turns to the moon; the only one able to keep him company.

Kyle wishes the moon would talk back, say something comforting about you, or anything.

The day his world changes, and the stakes shift, Kyle is sitting on his throne. There isn’t any paperwork (none that he cares to do), and his callus hands can’t stand to hold onto a bow. The sun's rays beat at him, but he can’t find it in himself to remove his robe. One of his hands rests on his temple, rubbing away the start of a headache.

It doesn’t get the chance to go away, as Kyle witnesses his most trusted guard, Stan, running straight toward him. Kyle can just barely see something clutched in his hands.

“Your highness, word from [your name].”

Stan kneels, before presenting the paper. Kyle nods, a silent thank you, before taking it; Stan takes it as a dismissal, leaving. The letter is sealed with wax, and Kyle feels unease settle at the bottom of his stomach, a stone tossed into a pond. There’s no way you’d have sealed the letter like this, as the last one was only tied with a string to a bird, without an envelope to protect its contents.

He has to grab a small dagger to open it, sliding under the wax and prying the letter open. He can see signs of the paper being crumpled and messed with. The anxiety causes his hands to shake, but this isn’t a letter he can toss.

Taking a deep breath, he’s glad Stan left the room after he gave the letter. He has never felt as overwrought as he does right now. He quickly takes the letter out, unable to stop his anxieties from taking control. With a slower pace, scared of tearing the letter, he unfolds it.

He sees your handwriting, directions, and a warning, but there is more there.

Sending [Your Name] back for the stick was smart; too bad you’ve lost them too.

The Grand Wizard

He’s scribbled out where you had signed your name, underling where you had signed off with “love.” He must have found it amusing.

Kyle reads the letter once, then twice, before realizing that the Grand Wizard, with his excess hubris, has left your directions to the stick untouched. A part of him realizes that this may be a tactic to lure the elves in; however, he won’t leave you in there, even if this is exactly what the Grand Wizard wants.

Clearing his throat, he calls out, “Stan, please come to the throne.”

Stan turns to look at him and walks over, and Kyle has no doubt he sees the fear in his eyes. “Yes, my lord?”

“Gather everyone for a meeting; tonight, we go to war.”

You awake to the feeling of cold on your skin, before being hit with a horrible headache. You go to sit up, hands reaching for your temple, but the movement makes you nauseous, and you have to slow down to relax. With the little strength you have, you find it in yourself to push your body until you are leaning against the wall furthest away from the cage bars.

When you find it safe to do so, you rub your eyes, dragging your hands down your face in hopes it’ll bring back some of your strength. The hit that struck you has left your head pounding and your vision slightly blurry. Despite this, you know you’re in jail, hearing a constant drip of water from down the hall.

Trying to come up with a plan proves to be futile; even if you could get out of jail, you have no clue where you are to be able to sneak out. The Wizard definitely would have all possible soldiers stationed at the end of the halls, and you’re in no state to fight.

If things couldn’t get worse, your mind supplies you with the memory of what you had been doing before you were caught and imprisoned. Kyle. What happened to your letter? Had the Grand Wizard kept it, planning to let you slowly starve in here? Or, has he sent it, as a false warning to the king? You don’t know which outcome is worst; unable to do anything more, you tuck your knees under your chin, curling up tightly to get some warmth. In the cold cell, not even the moon can keep you company.

Kyle is the first person in the meeting room; It takes Stan a few moments to tell all the elves about the meeting. He stands at the end of the table, as he always does, and runs a hand through the curls of his hair. His crown is discarded on the table, and the sleeves of his robes are pushed up, all a clear indicator of his panicked state.

At most meetings, he would’ve taken the time to fix himself, splash water on his face, and paint up a facade. This isn’t most meetings, with the elves, the stick directions, and your safety all on the table. He doesn’t know if he could look presentable if he tried. Before the elves come in, he wipes some sweat off his brow.

The elves come in, marching along and sitting where they are assigned to. They look anxious as well, and he can see it swirl in their eyes with confusion.

“Stan, thank you for collecting everyone. Everyone else, I’m sorry for the late meeting. I’ve been given dreadful news.” Kyle starts the meeting, pulling the letter from his pocket.

“As you are aware, [your name] was set out to spy for us, and get the location of the stick. We have recently met, and I told them they were to return in a month, with or without the stick. Today, I heard from them again.” He sighs, unable to control it, “But not just [your name] wrote in this letter. The Grand Wizard got a hold of it.”

The mere mention of his name causes the council to go crazy and mutters about the Grand Wizard, the letter, and the meeting fuse together. He lets them talk, to collect his thoughts, readying himself for his declaration and plan.

“In this letter, the Grand Wizard says we’ve lost [your name]; he is most likely to keep them in one of his dungeons. The Grand Wizard is aware of the power he has now, controlling us by the imprisonment of our mage and having the stick. We are getting both back.” Kyle hopes his voice sounds calm, biting back both his anger and fear.

“With that said, the Grand Wizard knows we will plan to attack. He sent this letter knowing we had to respond. When we arrive, expect an ambush. Expect the humans to be hidden away, so they can try and get the jump on us. Don’t let them, you must be armed and ready. There is no way this goes down with a fight. Be prepared. Bring your sword, a bow, anything and everything you think is valuable.” As he talks, some of his confidence comes back; many of the elves are nodding and cheering along, ready to fight.

“A lot of the soldiers will be inside, as that is where [your name] and the stick is. We must bring all the explosives we have. In the part they wrote, [your name] discussed the sturdy walls. If we can get their keys, it’d be a huge advantage, but we can’t count on it. We will need to split up into groups, based on what needs to be accomplished. Many of you will be fighting humans, however, I will need a small group to venture into the castle to get [your name] and the stick.” He pauses, taking a deep breath. Talking is causing his throat to feel dry, but water is a trivial matter at the moment.

“If it comes to it, we leave the stick. I want it as much as you do, but [your name] is our top priority.” Kyle stops there, expecting some backlash, for leaving the most valuable item in Zaron behind. He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them, he expects to see disappointment.

He doesn’t. Instead, there are nods of heads and whispers of agreement.

“If you don’t mind, my lord,” Stan starts, waiting for approval; Kyle gives it. “I think most of us would agree we’d rather have [your name] back. Getting the stick back would be great, but the stick isn’t my friend. [Your name].”

Stan’s words cause an uproar of applause, loud screaming of agreement. Kyle smiles, glad everyone wants to welcome you back into the kingdom.

“Yeah, I too miss [your name]. They were the only p-person here that was funny.” Jimmy speaks, tripping over the word person, once it settles.

Kyle nods, and for the first time in a while, feels his heart slow a bit, grinning widely before setting out a plan. Every bowman and half the swordsmen will stay outside the castle to fight the humans up there. The other half of the swordsmen will fight the soldiers lingering in the castle. Kyle will lead the search party for you and grants Stan the power to find the sword. Each leader selects a few of the elves to accompany them, ones best suited for travel compared to fighting. Kyle finds his blasters, those responsible for all explosives in their country, and asks them to make him something that’d allow him to get into the castle.

When the meeting is over, Kyle finds solace in the cool breeze and looks for the moon, just barely visible as the sun sets. He hopes the man in there is watching over you.

You never fell asleep, unable to due to the cold and muggy floor. You had to fight whether to use your cape as a pillow or blanket but found warmth more valuable than comfort. It’s difficult to keep your eyelids open, even if you can’t fall asleep.

When you finally teeter on the edge of unconsciousness, just able to jump in, there’s a loud clang as someone drags a stick across the bars of your cage. Your head dully throbs, from a combination of sleep deprivation and dehydration.

Luckily, the man who woke you up brought water and porridge. Slowly, feeling your shoulders and legs crack and pop, you reach for it as it’s pushed under the flap made for this. Looking up at your savior, you see it’s the same man who put you in here. (You take back the savior part, he’s just keeping you alive for his means.)

The drink is brought to your lips first, and despite how nice the water feels, you keep yourself sipping slowly, to prevent getting sick. After your throat no longer feels like a desert, you reach for the spoon in the bowl. Your hands, luckily, aren’t shaking, but you feel as if a heavy weight sits atop you, slowing every move.

The Grand Wizard pulls up a chair, watching you. His eyes stare into you, and it makes you uneasy. You know there is something under his sleeve, and he’s just waiting to talk.

He allows you to take a few more bites before starting his monologue, “It must hurt, knowing how close you were to your goals just to have it stripped from you.”

The power he feels radiates off him, strong enough that it’d knock you down if you could stand. “I mean, seriously, you were so close. Don’t worry, your letter got sent. Hope you don’t mind. I made some revisions. Also, ‘Love, [your name]’ are you serious? You and the elf king? Man, if this couldn’t get better.”

Your eyes widen, unable to take another bite; the porridge weighs heavy in your stomach, not settling right with your nerves. He must notice, as he starts to laugh, “You didn’t think I wouldn’t read it, did you? It was hard to resist. Anyways, you must want to know why you’re here.”

It’s been eating at you; why are you here and what this means for the war above you? You don’t give him the satisfaction of nodding though.

“So, I told the King about your predicament in the letter — the main reason I had to read it, truly. And, if I’m right, he most definitely has the letter by now. He wouldn’t be willing to leave you here and is going to be lured in by saving you and potentially getting the stick. This is the night the elves lose, for the last time.” His voice drops, growing sinister as he says his last sentence; his grin spreads to fill up most of his cheeks.

The plan is simple, yet your heart drops, and you have to bite back the rising bile in your throat. For the last time can only mean one thing.

“When I defeat them, and have the King imprisoned as well, I plan to train you, hard. I hate to admit it, but your ability to conjure spells and energy is one I’m envious of. I’ll make you the second greatest mage in the universe, [your name].”

He stands up after that, leaving you alone with a half-full bowl of porridge and the remains of your water. You can just barely hear him talk to a few people a bit down the hall, presumably the soldiers meant to watch you. Once your nerves no longer cause you to feel nauseous, you begin slowly eating the porridge, stopping only for a sip of water.

If you want to escape, you’ll need all the strength you can muster.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got it. It’s just going to be boring watching a cell, you know?” The same soldier who the Grand Wizard had been speaking to approaches your cell. He’s not only you remember, but he’s tall, sturdy, and armed with a sword. Still talking to his friend, he doesn’t turn to look at you. The chair the Grand Wizard had been sitting on is pushed to be at the far left side of the cage, and you assume it’s closest to the entry to the prison, due to the fact his eyes keep looking that way. (That’s the way you’ll need to run when you get out of here.)

“Remember, your shift starts at midnight. Don’t make me sit here longer than I have to.” And with that, the friend is gone, as you hear the heavy door shut behind him.

It must be late afternoon, and the porridge served dinner. You’re grateful that there is only one soldier set on you at a time; you aren’t sure what you would have done if you had to take both of them out, without them being able to alert other guards.

The guard finally looks at you and laughs noticing your state. You don’t say anything, and simply take another bite of your porridge. He whistles as he sits down, arms crossed over his chest. The chair rocks a bit, as he uses his feet to push it up against the cage bars.

You finish the bowl as quickly as you can, knowing that if you’re right about it being the evening, the elves will be coming soon. They’d be smart enough to come under night cover, and you know Kyle would anticipate an ambush, but there's something about the way the Grand Wizard spoke that makes you nervous about the impending battle.

Downing the rest of the water, you start to stand up; your shoulders and legs crack, and the guard looks back at you, glaring slightly. Your shoulders shrug, and you pretend to act as if you’re stretching, leaning your body from left to right. He rolls his eyes and turns to face the hallway once again.

You can’t recall the last time you put an enemy to sleep, conjuring dust that leaves them unconscious. It wasn’t something you practiced much, as the Grand Wizard preferred more direct attacks. However, it came useful in big attacks, and when you wanted to be able to sneak by without a fight.

It feels as if you’re walking for the first time, legs shaking as your body forces all of its energy into putting the guard asleep. Luckily, your feet don’t land heavily on the ground as you approach the guard. He continues to whistle, unknowing. Stars spark in your hand, a bright blue that finally gets the guard's attention. Before he can pull his sword, you blow into your hand, circling his head as his eyes glaze over before closing; his body collapses, but most of it lands on the chair he had been next to. (He doesn’t fall too hard, but he’ll probably have a nasty bruise tomorrow. But, that wouldn’t be the biggest of his concerns, you figure.)

Putting a good bit of your energy into that spell should leave him out for a while, you hope. (Luck, if you can hear this prayer, please listen, be a guide to get me home.) You stick a hand through the bars, patting around his belt and any pockets you can reach.

He doesn’t have the keys, fuck.

You want to sob, but you’re scared it’ll somehow summon the other guard meant to watch you faster. Tears build up, threatening to spill, as your brain racks for a solution. Your fire spell.

It’s a simple spell, conjuring fire the same as you do lightning, and the very first thing you were taught. The bars of the cage are metal, and you could potentially melt the lockdown so you can simply push open the door. That’ll require a lot of heat if the lock is made from steel, which you assume it is. You don’t have any options and try to prepare yourself for the burn.

Not used to summoning fire, it takes your body a bit to find the heat deep inside of you. It flows through your veins, a heat almost unbearable. As it reaches the thick skin of your palms, it starts to burn, and you hiss in pain as a flame appears. It’s a simple red, and although it’s scalding, it won’t be enough to melt steel. You need more intensity in your flame.

The brighter your flame burns, almost a yellow at this point, the more agonizing the pain becomes; the same tears from an earlier start to spill, but you power through, as you finally see the metal start to drip.

Above you, a war begins.

Kyle doesn’t recall the last time he was physically present during a war. Most of the time, he sits comfortably on his throne, making commanders and planning strategies for his soldiers to follow; however, this time, he had to be there, to ensure the safety of your return. (None of the elves suggested that he stay back, knowing how much he cared. It’d be impossible to keep him in those walls.)

His wood crown is replaced with the standard elf helmet, and the same is said with his cloak. The armor is heavy, and he feels it limits his movements just slightly — it’s been a long time since he was a mere soldier. It does allow him to blend in, hopefully allowing him to slip away, and into the castle, using the bomb he has attached to his belt.

When they’ve reached Kupa Keep, Kyle notices the gates are wide open, an invitation, taunting them. He can’t see anyone inside, or along the walls for guards, they’re all hidden. With the fast setting of the sun, he doesn’t see any shadows to indicate human presence either.

“Remember, they plan to ambush us; pull out your swords and be ready to draw your bow.” Kyle reminds, whispering.

At once, the swordsmen pull at their swords, ready to stab and swing the moment they catch the eye of a human; the bowmen have an arrow in their hand, prepared to nock their bows. Kyle’s sword had been in his hand since they left, its weight comforting, proof that Kyle was strong enough to save you.

When the army of elves is just outside Kupa Keep, there is suddenly movement and noise coming from inside. Kyle doesn’t say anything but motions his army to charge in. Both parties are aware of the other, and this is his last chance at an upper hand.

The elves follow the command, running armed and equipped for battle. They linger in the center of the kingdom, waiting for the humans to appear. The time that passes as the humans wait goes on forever, and Kyle can feel his heartbeat in his throat. After another moment, an all too familiar voice shouts, “Attack!”

Just like the elves, the humans are armed as well. They fire arrows and charge at the groups of elves. Although Kyle just wants to bomb the entrance, running in after you, he knows that’s what the Grand Wizard hopes for. Instead, he stays back, waiting for the war to become loud enough he can disappear. (His blaster told him the bombs should be quieter, in exchange for a less extreme blast. The bomb was tried on brick and stone to guarantee it’d work. Although the explosion was weaker, it did enough to blast through the stone.)

Swinging the sword is easy, with all the practice Kyle took up to try and cure his boredom. He’s able to slash at humans, causing enough bleeding to put them down. His sword clinks with others, but he’s able to get his sword underneath and knock it from his opponent's hand. The added weight from his armor doesn’t allow him to be as swift as he’d like, but he’s still good against the human soldiers.

Along the wall, humans fire arrows down. With the combination of close combat, it’s hard to dodge them all. Kyle gets nicked in the arm, but luckily the arrow doesn’t pierce. His bowmen fire up at them, arrows penetrating through the cracks in their armor.

Stan is busy fighting a paladin, the one Kyle believes you were with quite frequently; he recalls a description of a blond-haired paladin from the elf who gave you his note. The paladin shocks Stan, the metal armor a poor choice. When he’s able to stand again, Stan shoots his sword off like a boomerang, hitting once, then twice, before returning to his hand.

Kyle fights a few more humans, knocking them down, before realizing it’s safe to bomb the castle. (He’s also acutely aware that the Grand Wizard is nowhere to be seen, and wonders when he will appear.) He motions for an elf, one he picked to fight with him inside, to take over where he had been fighting, to prevent anyone from coming up behind.

Unlinking the bomb from his belt. He takes a step forward and throws the bomb so it lies in front of the massive locked doors. Just barely, he can hear the tick coming from it, an indicator that it’ll go off. Quickly, he presses his palms flat against his ears, hoping to muffle the sound and any damage.

There isn’t a long wait before the bomb goes off, exploding the doors and exposing the castle’s interior. Kyle has to give it to the blaster, the bomb itself is relatively quiet; the same cannot be said for the aftermath. Bricks falling and rubble blasting catches the attention of most of the humans.

More humans run out from the castle, some injured and some unharmed. Kyle can’t get close to the entrance due to the increase in swordsmen. He swings, a little shaky due to the explosion. His sword cuts, and makes the men bleed; he isn’t sure how many he’s killed, the violence a blur in his brain. He doesn’t care to know.

The elves that Kyle had picked to venture into the castle with him come up from behind, helping Kyle cut through the sea of humans. Stan is still in the back, fighting off the strongest of the humans; he was told to only go into the castle once he felt it was okay to leave the lower-level soldiers.

Green grass is painted red, and the iron smell pungent. Kyle pushes through, and with a few, more well-timed swings from his sword is able to get inside the castle.

More humans await, and despite his hands aching from the constant use, Kyle gets into position. His forehead is slick with sweat, panting slightly from exhaustion. Adrenaline keeps him going, able to wound and knock down any humans who get in his way. One of the humans is able to cut him, the same arm where the arrow had pierced.

He runs down an empty hall, and it isn’t the one you direct him to go towards. Not that he’d go there first anyway, the universe means nothing without you. From the thin cotton of his shirt, he makes bandages. He sips a healing potion, to slow the bleeding. Rolling his shoulders, he peeks his head out; some of his elves have continued on, under the order to spread out and find you.

With his wounds patched up, he returns to where the second door on the right would be. It’s wide open, and he assumes the elves had gone down. The castle’s basement is the only logical place for the dungeon to be, so Kyle starts to descend down the stairs. There seems to be more fighting at the bottom, the familiar clink of swords is heard frequently. Gripping his sword, Kyle prepares to fight.

Slowly emerging, he notices that the fighting is mostly taking place to the left. He recalls your scribbled handwriting, second door to the right, third door to the left. The humans must be worried that the elves are getting closer to the stick’s location, especially if the Grand Wizard gave them a warning. When Kyle looks right, he notices how vacant that side of the hall is. He’d presume there’d be guards on both sides, but Cartman most likely has all his best soldiers with the stick. He pauses, before thinking that maybe you are this way, a decoy to stop Kyle from getting both you and a stick. However, he hesitates, wondering if this is a mistake. There’d be more soldiers as he got close to you, his mind reassures.

If you aren’t down this hallway, many other elves will be on the left side to get you. Taking the biggest gamble of his life, Kyle turns right.

Melting the lock takes a long time, with steel having a high melting point. Your hands are sore, and bleeding, and it’s affecting your ability to perform the spell. The paranoia of the soldier waking up has caused you to put the sleeping spell on him another two times, despite the excess energy it requires.

You blow on your hands, hoping it might soothe the pain just a bit; it doesn’t, and you bite back the groan of pain settled at the base of your tongue. You don’t know when midnight is, and you don’t want excessive noise to cause other soldiers to come and investigate. The fact you can’t express your pain makes it seem worse, bottled up and inside. As gently as you can, you dab your hands with your clock. It stings, but it should help prevent infection.

It takes you a minute to compose yourself before you can find the courage to create a flame again. Pain is impending, and before you can convince yourself not to, you summon a yellow flame in your hand. It knocks you over, the energy combined with the agony, but you stand tall, placing the flame close to the lock so the metal can continue to drip away.

You watch the liquid metal drip to the floor, and you have to move your foot to prevent it from dipping onto your shoe. Periodically, you nudge the door with your foot, to see if it’ll give. It is less resistant now than when you started, but it still isn’t enough.

Agony courses through your veins, and despite how every atom that makes up your body is screaming for you to give it up, you can’t. There’s a concerning amount of noise above you which can only mean that the elves have arrived. You have to get there, show them where the stick is, and fulfill your duty as a spy.

Tears well up in your eyes, and spill over with no issue. Just as the flame in your palms dies out, you kick your foot against the door and it gives. A wet laugh escapes your lips, unable to stop yourself.

Your hands are in agony, and if you were able to, you’d rip up your cape to make bandages; the roughness of the fabric is not something you think your hands would be able to take, so instead, you just clutch them close to your chest.

You make your way left, the way the guard had been talking. A quick glance is given to the soldier who was supposed to guard you as you pass him; he shouldn’t wake up with the three sleep spells you cast on him, but your anxiety creeps in, lingering that he’s going to get up and catch you. If he got up, you don’t know if you could up a fight, so you quicken your pace, hoping to be out of jail quickly.

The door at the end of the hall is unlocked, luckily, but you almost scream with the pressure you have to use to open it. When you finally get through, you realize you have no idea where you are. The halls all look the same, and your directions for the room the stick of truth is in relation to if you are entering through the front door.

There are two ways you can go, straight forward, or left. Looking left, at the end of the hallway are stairs that descend downwards. (Everything you said poorly about Luck you take back.) With only one correct way to go, you walk straight.

Surprisingly, there is a lack of guards in the hallway. Although, for how long the battle has been going on, you aren’t surprised that there were only two on duty to guard you. If there were more, the Grand Wizard has probably called them up to the battle.

As you make your way down the hall, you look down other corridors that line the hallway; each has a few doors, but you hope they are only other rooms. No noise can be heard from any of them, so it’s safe to assume they don’t lead upstairs.

A hand reaches out to grab you, pulling you down an empty hallway you hadn’t gotten a chance to look down yet. Fight or flight kicks in, and you struggle against the captor, hoping for a chance to run once you’re out of their arms. They’re strong though, holding you against their chest; other than that, they don’t fight against you.

“Sh, [your name], it’s okay, I got you.” That’s Kyle’s voice. Instantly, you stop fighting, allowing yourself to relax into him. You don’t have the strength to keep fighting anyway.

He doesn’t say anything else, turning you around to get a good look at you. A whisper escapes his lips, fuck, as he sees your hands. He reaches to touch them, and despite treating you like glass, you still whimper in pain. His hands retreat away from yours, but one goes around your waist, to sturdy you as you start to sway.

“I’m getting you out of here, okay? I know the way out, we’re going home.”

Kyle has never been more relieved to see you, despite your state. Your hands are bleeding, and he can see that simply standing is a strenuous task. He keeps whispering reassurances into your hair, wanting to comfort you, but feeling awkward with touching you; your pain whimper might haunt him.

When he mentions returning home, he sees you start shaking your head, protesting it silently. You look up at him, confused.

“You’re too injured, I’m going to get you out of Kupa Keep then tell the elves to draw back.” He whispers, hoping to get you moving soon. You need medical attention, and he doesn’t think his half drank health potion is going to be enough. He wants to belittle himself, (how could he not think to bring more health potions?), but to keep a level head, he has to ignore those thoughts.

You shake your head, and his grip on your waist tightens slightly when you start swaying, vertigo caused by the motion. He wishes you’d talk to him, and voice your concerns; with how weak you are now, he wonders if that’s even an option. He racks his brain around for solutions, before finding something that may cause your worry.

“I got rid of the humans down here; there weren't too many anyway. No one should get us,” He cups your cheek, thumb grazing over the skin. There aren't many cuts here, but your glossy eyes cause his concern to deepen.

Again, you shake your head; although, a bit slower this time. He feels your face move but doesn’t pull his hand away. What else could you have been worried about?

“Stick,” You mutter, looking at him, mustering the strength to speak.

Oh, you’re still worried about the mission. He wants to laugh, wondering how you could even still think about the stick in the condition you’re in. You’ve always been selfless, always giving and giving. He’s seen how the human, and his elves, have treated you, sending you out to do their bidding. He’s ready to do the giving for you and take some of the heavy weight off your shoulders.

He smiles at you, one with only pure intentions, “I don’t care about the stick. I got you back, you mean more to me.”

He says it like a prayer, a silent confession meant only for you. He’s not nervous though, he’s known he’s loved you since the first night you two kissed; those words might have been the easiest thing he’s ever admitted. He watches as your eyes widen, and a smile makes its way to your face.

“There are plenty of elves who can go get the stick; they don’t need us. Let’s get home.”

As you two walk, he hovers. You pushed him off once you started to move, stubborn and knowing he might need to fight for the both of you. He understands, but he also misses the feeling of his hands on you. Anytime you stumble or sway too hard his hands are on you, moving on their own. There is never any complaint heard from you.

The two of you run into two more guards before Kyle can guide you to the stairs. He gently nudges you into another empty corridor, making sure you’re comfortably leaning against the wall before pulling his sword out.

It’s another smooth fight; Kyle’s cheek gets clipped with the tip of their sword, but he sheds the least amount of blood. He’s able to quickly get them to the ground, not wanting to prolong the fight, knowing you need to get home.

He has to wrap an arm around your waist to stabilize you, as you wobble when you go to walk again. Subconsciously, he tucks your head into his chest, steering your eyes away from bloodshed and gore. Deep down he knows that you’ve seen it plenty, familiar with its sight and smell; he knows you’ve also seen more of it than he has. (There’s a part of him that wishes you’d never seen it at all, and if he can protect you now, he will.)

No more soldiers appear between where you two started and the entrance of the stairs. Getting you up them seems an impossible task. Your blood loss is getting worse, and your movements are sluggish, weighed down by all of the energy you were forced to exert. Kyle can’t risk carrying you up, because a soldier could appear at any moment and catch him off guard, putting you back at risk. He has to guard you with every step, murmurs of easy does it, and just another step.

There’s an immense amount of fighting continuing; soldiers’ swords clashing deep into the night. He can just make out Knight Marsh and his bard Jimmy. The pointed hat of the wizard stands as tall as ever. Part of him wonders if he should call for a retreat now, leaving with only you. He knows his soldiers would disprove it, would fight for him and the stick always.

Leaving the battle to go on also allows him to sneak out smoothly, the humans too busy protecting the stick to realize you’re gone. They still fight near the front of the entrance, and although they should hear the creak of the door, they don’t. Kyle makes eye contact with Stan, motioning towards you. Stan responds with a genuine, small smile that can be seen as a smirk from hubris.

Kyle has to take you the back way, a door he’s seen a few times from meetings with the Grand Wizard. He wants to urge you on and force you to walk faster so the humans can’t catch up but knows the pace you amble is as quick as they can go. The other elves must see you two escape because the fighting seems to get angrier, and loud; he’ll remember to thank them when you’re home.

He only gets halfway to the kitchen before the Grand Wizard calls out. Kyle would rather not fight but knew he was optimistic to think he wouldn’t have one run-in with the wizard.

“You’re just not walking out of here with - wait, that’s not the sword.” He pauses, and at that time Kyle picks you up. It causes you to grumble in pain. He hates how he’s hurting you, but knows he’d hate it even more if the Grand Wizard was able to have even the slither of an opportunity to harm you.

“You went down, for them? Just them? I thought elves are dumb, yet here you are, passing up an opportunity to try and get the stick. You’d rather have some mage?” The Wizard asks. (Kyle thinks back to his taunting letters as if he truly thought the love you two had was some jester’s joke; maybe he hoped you’d be left, forgotten, and formed into the human’s perfect wizard. Maybe he didn’t understand how love could be so overwhelming, more powerful than any force. Kyle never asks, he’ll never know.)

The answer comes so easily to him, yes. He’d have you with or without the stick. He’d remove his crown, and the status of the king if he had to. If you asked, he’d repaint the stars and would lasso the moon for you. There’s no point in having the universe if he would be in it all alone.

“I have no plans to fight you, Cartman.” Kyle enjoys how the wizard seethes at the use of his real name, “My elves will do that for me. I will return to my kingdom. If my elves get the stick from you, it’s a joyous day for my kingdom. If they fail, it’ll be a joyous day for my people.”

The Grand Wizard gets ready for battle, posing as if he plans to summon energy from his hands. Kyle turns his back, ready to take the hit, but he doesn’t have to. He hears the gleam of a sword, then the air as it crashes down. The Wizard cries out in pain, and Kyle turns to see what’s happened. Stan had stabbed in the side, strategic to not be lethal, but enough to give Kyle a head start out of the castle.

When he stands for a moment too long, Stan calls out to him, “We’ll meet you at the kingdom!” He quickly returns to battle.

Kyle continues down, turning left before entering the kitchen. There aren’t any servants there, surprisingly. It’s possible they are in battle, clad in armor not meant to be worn by them, and forced to fight the wizard’s battle. There is a door located in the far left corner, and Kyle is able to open it with a nudge of his foot. He’s careful to make sure you don’t brush against the frame, treating you more delicately than ever.

One time when he was over, the Grand Wizard boasted about this hallway. It made it so that he’d never see his messley servants. He explained that their hallway went everywhere, to sleeping quarters, a bathroom, and even outside to the farms.

It’s a bit of a walk to get outside, but it goes much faster with you in his arms. (Maybe one day you’ll be there for other, better reasons.) Bursting through the door, he relishes the cool air. He’s felt on fire the entire fight, from a horrible combination of exertion, adrenaline, and fear. The gulps of air he takes are the finest things he’s ever had, good enough to almost make him forget about everything.

Until you whimper, curling in close to him, your hands still curled up on your chest.

“We’re going home, okay? I’m going to make you drink so many health potions.” He whispers into your hair, leaving a delicate kiss on your temple.

The moon watches as he leads you home, and the man in there smiles. That night, the moon shines brighter.

Waking up is a struggle, sleep heavy on your eyelids, sewing them shut. It seems so easy to just fall back into, as it seems to welcome you with open arms. There’s a voice that urges you forward as if something is waiting for you on the other side.

You can just peer through your eyelashes, the world a blur of browns and light; just that slither of the world is too much, but you don’t shut your eyes. Instead, you try something else. The same voice reminds you of a burning pain, one you can just faintly feel now.

Carefully, as if it’ll break the peace you're surrounded by, you slowly move your ring and middle finger. The movement is sluggish, and the fingers move together; as you move them, you become aware of the cloth wrapped around them, rubbing slightly into your wounds. It hurts, but the pain is a reminder you survived, the gray cell long behind you.

The distance between unconsciousness and you greatens, and you brace the task of opening your eyes. Instead of slowly doing it, like before, you force yourself to separate the lids, allow the light to meet your pupils, and wash away all of the dreariness. You have to blink a few times due to the sudden increase of light after hours of sleep. (Hours, presumably. How long have you been asleep?)

Once you’ve adjusted to the natural glow of the room, you glance around. The wood confirms you’re back in the elf kingdom. You smile at that, subconsciously. The wood that these rooms are made from is more comforting than the stone of the human’s castle; its home. It’s peaceful.

The door creaks and you slowly move your head to look at it. You’re hoping it’s Kyle, your heart needing to see him. The night is a blur, a mix of painful cries and slow movements; you can just barely remember his words, and how he chose you over the stick, a silent promise. Heat rises to your cheeks just barely, but it isn’t noticeable. Even if it was, you’d brush it off from stress or injuries.

It’s Jimmy who enters the room. You smile at him when his eyes catch your open ones. You always knew you missed Kyle, but it seemed your heart yearned for more than just him. You’ve missed it all, stupid jokes, play fighting, snickering quietly behind the king’s back, the elves who made their kingdom a place you enjoyed staying. It’s almost too good to be true, to be home finally after months.

“Oh good you’re fina- you’re fina- you’re up!” Jimmy smiles. He has bandages in his hands, and for the first time you look at your hands; the bandages are a faint pink, your blood dried on them.

“I was going to change them, but I think you’d rather ha- have the king do it.” He winks at you, and the blush from earlier is tinted even darker.

Carefully, he sits on the edge of the bed, making sure not to touch any part of you. He’s dressed in his typical bard outfit, a yellow shirt, a green bandana, and a grey hat. He places a hand near yours. If he’s been the one changing all your bandages, he has seen the damage to them and knows to tread carefully. You hope the smile you flash is enough of a thank you, although you don’t think you could ever pay him back for all the care he’s provided.

“Everyone is glad you’re back. They all missed you.” He admits, flashing you his signature toothy grin; in return, your smile grows just as much.

He lingers for a moment longer, before standing. “I have to go get the king. He’ll be ha- happy you are up.” Before leaving the room he adds, “He’s been stressed all night, wa-waiting for you to get up.”

Jimmy’s words are confirmation you’ve only been in bed for a night, luckily. The door clicks shut as he leaves, and you’re left alone, only a burning face left to keep you company. Relief lingers, and you’re glad you had only been asleep for one night. The damage to your hands was abundant, and your mind tries to figure out how long it’ll take to hear. How long will it take for you to return to your magic? Although you can move them just slightly, and the pain seems to be minimal, you imagine that’s a result of the magic and potions used to keep you asleep throughout the night. Once those effects start to wear off, you’ll have to start a slow recovery. Burns take their time to heal, and even if magic can sew your wounds tight quickly, you’ll be left with scars; there is also no telling how long it’ll take for your energy to return. What started in plentiful amounts can now only drip, poured completely out to escape that cell.

You aren’t sure how long you’re buried in your thoughts, overwhelmed with all the factors you cannot control. The same click can be heard, and you see a familiar face.

Jimmy wasn’t lying about Kyle being concerned, it’s the only present emotion on his face. His eye bags are a deep purple, showing his worry prevented him from falling asleep. He’s no longer wearing the armor you remember being pressed into, but the loose blouse is typically covered by his red robe. His crown is nowhere to be found, allowing red curls to frame his face. You can see two separate wounds on the same arm, one scabbed over and the other wrapped in the same bandages. Your heart pangs in guilt, that he’d gotten those fighting for you.

He sits down on the bed, similar to how Jimmy did, avoiding touching you and hovering hesitantly. In order to have a proper conversation with him, you attempt to prop yourself on your elbows. Placing your body weight onto your palms causes you to wince, and Kyle’s hands shoot out to help you sit up. His grip is firm yet gentle, as he guides you to a sitting position. Once you’re situated, he grabs the gauze Jimmy left.

He takes your left hand, the closer one, and slowly peels the old gauze from it. It only hurts when he gets to the layer connected to your skin from blood and your blisters. Kyle apologizes the entire time, and you forgot how calm his voice can be, now that you can fully hear it.

You almost can’t bear to look at your hand. Your palm is filled with blisters, none popped luckily. The entirety of your hand is painted in a harsh red, splotchy due to the thick layers of skin on your palm. It’s almost disheartening, to know what used to be the strongest part of you is in such a horrendous state. You have no energy to cry, but maybe you know you’ll mourn them later.

Kyle brings out a cream, a herbal concoction that he brought in. His touch is as soft as it can, as he slowly rubs it in; you bite back any winces to not provide him any more guilt. The look in his eyes shows he is already feeling upset about your wounds, you won’t make him feel worse.

He only finally talks when he starts to rewrap your hand. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

You smile, unable to stop yourself. He pauses once he’s halfway up your palm, giving you a moment to breathe. He grins back. “Seriously, I’ve never been so worried over someone. I’m never sending you out on a mission again. That anxiety isn’t good for me.”

You laugh, and it goes silent as he finishes your hand. Unlike last time, where your bandages left your fingers mostly immobile, Kyle leaves them free, carefully wrapping them below your thumb so you can use your hands if your palms allow it.

Once he has the bandages tied off and secured, he brings your hand up to his lips; the move is all too familiar, but your heartbeat quickens anyway. He looks up at you through long eyelashes, and you can’t maintain eye contact. He looks at you as if you had hung the stars, as if you are the reason for beauty in the world, as if you are the one who deserves worship.

In comparison to the wounds on your hands, the lingering kiss burns the brightest. He is careful when he places your hand back on the bed, before reaching carefully for your right one.

Again, he unwraps the bandages, and this hand seems in worse condition. There are more blisters, and some of your skin seems to be peeling off. The state of it causes Kyle to tense up. Despite how furious he seems to be, he’s still gentle with you. Kyle takes another glob of the lotion, providing soothing comfort to it.

“I should’ve killed the Grand Wizard when I had the chance. I shouldn’t have walked away like I did, after all, he did to you.” His voice is low, and it’s the first time you’ve heard him speak with such anger.

He takes the rest of the bandages and begins the process of wapping them again. “I could’ve had Knight Stan take you home. I should not have let him live when you’re in my infirmary in this state.”

With your left hand, you gently grab his wrist. His desire to protect you means the world, but you’re okay. Maybe not physically, and it'll take weeks for that. But you’re home, surrounded by his warmth and your friends, and even if your hands never heal correctly, it’ll still be okay.

His shoulders slouch and the anger leaves his body. He doesn’t say anything more and finishes wrapping your hand. He kisses it again and laughs at you when you respond the same: flustered and shy.

The container of lotion is left on the table to your side. He sits up, no longer having to slouch to take care of your hands. You like seeing him like this, relaxed and content; it feels like it’s only you two in the world.

You’d like to stay in it, but you're reminded of the reason you’re in this bed in the first place. “The stick.”

Kyle looks at you, nose scrunched and eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“The stick, did you get it?” You hope your rescue mission didn’t put everything at risk, and that your directions were enough.

He smiles, and he reaches a hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face. Even away from your wounds, his touch is tender. “Stan got it. He was able to get down there to grab it after I got you out. You did great.”

Your grins grow wide, pushing the skin of your cheeks up into your eyes, as your head leans against the bed frame. You did it. You did it! A laugh escapes you, cheerful and giddy that your work paid off.

Once the euphoria wears off, and your eyes can be opened fully again, you notice that Kyle is looking at you. His gaze is still the same, loving and believing you to be the only thing worth appreciating in this world.

“Have I told you you’re really pretty?” He murmurs. His hand is still on your cheek, having followed you as you laughed.

You beam up at him, grabbing his shirt and ignoring the pain in your hands. Carelessly, you pull him into a kiss. Your noses bump and it is the clumsiest kiss you’ve ever experienced. Unable to help yourself, you giggle into it. He smiles too, and you can feel it. You're so happy, being reunited with him and knowing you won't have to leave his side combined with bringing home the stick.

Even after you pulled back, breathless and needing air, you can't stop smiling. Everything is okay, Kyle's own giddy smile promises that.

Despite not being visible, the moon sees it all. He’s seen a lot of things as he’s orbited the earth; the love shared between a king and a mage is his favorite.

#kyle broflovski x reader #south park x reader #high jew elf king kyle x reader #stick of truth x reader

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yanderes-galore · 2 years ago

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The Stick Of Truth concept of Kyle with a human darling that doesn't hate the elves, but is strictly loyal to humans overall not necessarily to Cartman, and won't betray them no matter what whether they reciprocate Kyle's feelings or not? Thank you!

Sure! I had to rewatch Stick of Truth's cutscenes as I finished it YEARS ago :) Takes place in a fantasy AU inspired by SoT. Aged up as usual. Feels rushed but I struggled on what direction to take it :(

Yandere! Elf King! Kyle with Human! Darling

(Stick of Truth Fantasy AU)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Kidnapping, Murder/Raiding, Forced relationship, Blood and death mention, Isolation, Implied brainwashing, Forced marriage mention, Fantasy AU so feel free to imagine him more elf-like.

Kyle is devastated at the fact his darling is a human.

You are from two different factions.

Not only are you on the side of the humans... but he's THE Drow Elf King!

By normal means you'd never like him or his kind.

However, you don't hate his side, according to his scouts.

Despite being loyal to your kind... you don't enjoy the fighting between the two races.

You may not be fond of your leader, The Grand Wizard King Cartman, but you're loyal to your side and people.

Kyle falling for you frustrates him.

He loves that loyalty of yours... yet it's directed towards the wrong side.

Can't you see Cartman is using you?

Blind loyalty will only hurt you.

Kyle's obsession leads him to send scouts to watch you.

He hates that he's unable to watch you himself.

Kyle feels you'll make a great ruler alongside him once he manages to obtain you.

Obtaining reports about you is the best he's going to get for awhile.

The more he hears about you and your personality... the more he sinks into his obsession like quicksand.

The issue is your loyalty to the humans....

His feelings towards you become obsession due to his inability to court you properly.

You see, if you were already part of his group or were an elf yourself, Kyle could simply claim you as his betrothed.

As a human... that isn't easy.

A conclusion that drives the king insane.

There's only one way to obtain your feelings if you won't leave the humans.

Kyle, as a king, knows to plan things out.

The Elf King gathers his forces in preperation for a raid on the human's keep, where you reside.

There is no reasoning with a king like Cartman.

So be it.

Kyle knows this... the humans will only listen to violence.

First, Kyle gives you an out via messenger raven.

If you do not give yourself up to the elves... the human keep will fall. You can come willingly to prevent the violence. That, or, allow the elves to pick you up from the wreckage.

This could go two ways.

You give yourself up for your kind... or you defend them with your life.

Kyle would prefer the first option.

He knows you care for the humans as much as he cares for his elven kin.

You hate fighting and this would give you a choice....

If you do pick option one, Kyle welcomes you to his home.

You'd be able to live in luxury with him and enrich yourself in his culture!

There would be no jail cell for you and you'd share a room with him....

He's loved you since he saw you with the humans in battle, now he can properly court you.

Then there's if you decide to defend the keep.

Kyle is disappointed, although that does not stop him.

Very well... the humans shall die.

Kyle approaches the keep with many troops.

He isn't backing down without you.

Since you refused his request, this attack is technically your fault.

Although it might have happened anyway for one reason or another... you feel like it's your fault.

After all... your home is set aflame, blood coating the walls with corpses piled high.

All because you said you wouldn't go to the elves.

You'll be crying in the middle of it all while the Elf King himself approaches you... lifting up your chin.

"I told you, didn't I? Your loyalty is misplaced... after I kill the wizard myself, we're going home. OUR home."

This route would result in you being thrown into a jail cell in elven territory.

Just until Kyle can retrain your mind through enchantment and spells.

Kyle doesn't mind how he gets you in the end, as long as he has you in his grasp.

You may not be happy with this... but you've forced his hand.

Kyle is a king, a king who's chosen you for marriage.

You may not reciprocate as much as him at first... but over time he's sure you will.

His bard will play the both of you songs, you'll be defended by his loyal warrior...

You'll enjoy it here with him.

Kyle tries to understand your culture and what you like/dislike.

The best way to convince you that he's your perfect partner would be to understand you, right?

Kyle's patient for the most part.

He's trying to cultivate your feelings for him, acting polite and nice towards you.

No matter how much you resist you won't be let out of his kingdom.

You have no home to run back to... they either think you're a traitor or are already dead from a raid.

You have only Kyle and his people to look for comfort in, now.

Surely you'll want to marry him after he casts a small spell, right?

#yandere south park #yandere aged up south park #yandere south park stick of truth #yandere kyle broflovski

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simpleroses · 8 months ago

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Anyone else wish South Park will come up with new ideas when it comes to their trilogies/ games? And I mean that as in, they had the black Friday trilogy and later stick of truth based around fantasy (ex, Princess Kenny, Wizard king Cartman,etc); Years go by and we have the coon trilogy and The fractured by whole, superhero based (ex, Mysterion, The Coon, Human Kite, Toolshed, etc). And now we have Snowday!, fantasy based...again.

Like, I'm not saying I don't like the trilogies, in fact I love them. Its just that we need something new, ya know. Like wouldn't it be cool if we had something like, I don't know si-fi related for example. Like, they established time travel in TFBW and post covid, and even though it was to make fun of it, they established multiple universe's existing. Not to mention they had aliens established since the beginning of the show!

(And yes, I'm aware they have si-fi in phone destroyer, I'm just using as an example)

As much as I love seeing princess Kenny, Stan the great, Theif Craig, blah blah blah,again, I just feel like we need something new. I understand if you don't agree with me but I just been wanting to say this for a while.

In conclusion, sorry for my massive rant 😅

#south park #south park stick of truth #south park fractured but whole #south park phone destroyer #south park post covid #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #eric cartman

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buggysimp · 1 year ago

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hi can u PLS give me some jyle headcanons 😭😭

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN

-while I hc Kyle is taller than most of the others, Jimmy is the tallest by 4 inches and while that pisses Kyle off at first, it starts making his heart flutter having to look up at Jimmy, something he hasn't experienced with most people

-at some point Kyle asks Jimmy about his workout routine (he can't stop noticing how muscular Jimmy's arms are 🙄) and Jimmy takes him to the gym. Kyle INSISTS on doing Jimmy's usual workout and he's like ermmm I'm not sure about that it's a bit intense but Kyle keeps assuring he can keep up.

An hour later Jimmy is half supporting Kyle and half dragging him back to the car.

-after that though, Kyle does start regularly going to the gym with him, doing much easier workouts

-while Kyle laughs at a lot of things, stand up comedy is not one. He gets somewhat high and mighty about the jokes and complains about how crude most are. However, in middle school he goes to one of Jimmy's routines, dragged on by Cartman who is genuinely a fan of Jimmy's, and is so surprised by how intelligent Jimmy's jokes are. While some are still crude, the smut and such isn't the punchline and that makes the jokes so much funnier to Kyle.

He starts going to every show after that

-in stick of truth Jimmy is Kyle's second in command, Kyle trusts him completely to take care of the elf army and kingdom while he fights with the grand wizard. It gets to the point where the elves see Jimmy as the other king and assume that a political marriage took place. When Kyle hears about this he gets completely flustered while Jimmy is quite alright with the people thinking that

-also sot, when things get intense in the kingdom and Kyle has to make tough choices, he always goes to the bard for advice and comfort. Jimmy helps Kyle see things with a more clear head, playing a soothing song for him after, happy to help his king

-in post covid, Kyle is always in the audience of Jimmy's show. He has the option to watch from bsckstage, but he prefers seeing his husband up on stage from the point of the audience. It reminds him of going to his routines every weekend

-also pc, Kyle has his kids from a past marriage but the second he brings home his boyfriend Jimmy his kids demand that Kyle marries him. They latch onto him instantly and he's perfectly fine with it, he loves the kids as much as they love him

-going with pc dating, Kyle and Jimmy dated well into highschool and everyone always just assumed they'd always be together. But in the last year of highschool Jimmy moved away and Kyle broke up with him, worried he'd hold him back. When they met again years later they realized even after seeing other people over the years, they still loved each other just as much as when they were 10 and playing a silly fantasy game where they were kings together

I GOTTA STOP HERE OR ILL JUST KEEP GOING FOREVER!!

Thank you so much for this ask, I hope these weren't too ooc 😿 I love talking about them and WILL write more if you ask

Might draw one or two of these also if anyone's interested ?

Otherwise, have a great day/night 😸

#south park #south park fandom #kyle broflovski #jimmy valmer #jimmy x kyle #sp jyle #south park hcs #south park headcanons #sp post covid #sp sot #mutt rambles

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bokutokiya · 2 years ago

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{4.25}

You shake your head to clear your mind before grabbing ahold of Mikey and dragging him behind the stage. “What do you want?” You call out to the princess and her guard. “We want the stick! We know you have it” she calls back, starting to walk closer to your hiding place. “A-actually I have it!” A small voice calls from the side, you both look over and see nat standing with the stick in hand, you quickly check your pouch and realize she does have the real Stick. “Shit.” You whisper and quickly heal Mikey before letting him up, “she’s got the real stick please keep her safe.” Mikey nods and quickly rushes after Nat as you turn around and scan the battlefield. You spot abi flipping Craig over her shoulder before turning on tweek before your eyes lock on Jae and Gracie. Gracie is sitting on Cartman's shoulders using her legs to choke hold him while Jae is standing on Kenny’s back and cheering Gracie on and throwing bits of rock at his knees. Laughing you turn and lock sights with Ona and Mey again, the laugh locking in your throat. “Only one of us will leave this battle” Mey says, unsheathing her sword. “Unless it becomes 2 on 2” Kyle says as he steps up to your side, causing you to jump. “What about Stan?” You ask softly, Kyle goes red and points behind him. Stan is being princess carried by fleur while trout is battling butters and Tolkien with a sword, butters quickly realizing he’s losing turns and books it for the fence screaming retreat. You turn back to Ona and Mey “your army is falling girls, maybe you should regroup” you say smugly. Mey glares before rushing you, caught off guard you take a punch to the nose before quickly ducking behind Kyle who Ona had turned to and hit with a well placed arrow. They both nod to each other and follow after the rest of the humans back to kupa keep. You groan from your spot on the ground behind Kyle before pushing yourself to your knees. You both look at each other before dissolving into giggles as you help each other up. You quickly turn to the elves gathered around you and nod “we protected the stick today, thanks to nat’s brilliant work. And thanks to Gracie and Jae who defeated the great wizard fatass and his princess Kenny. I Don't wanna be cartman right now!” You say causing the collection of elves to laugh. “You're all dismissed for the night since we’ll, we had only planned to make statements today.” The elves said their goodbyes, Abi quickly stepping forward “so which twig did we protect? The stick or Kyle?” She yells before racing off after nat and Jae who laugh as they leave. Kyle huffs before whicing as the cut over his eye stings. “Let’s get that cleaned up before we have to sit with your parents” you say playful, leading Kyle up to his bathroom. You set Kyle on the toilet before pulling out the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet and start dabbing at the cut with some disinfectant and smile slightly. “You took an arrow for me” you say, Kyle laughs softly “remember back in 4th grade when I left you on the roof? This is me saying sorry.” You start laughing and shake your head “oh no way Kyle! I’ll never forgive you for that! Kenny had to come get me down!” You say. Kyle rolled his eyes before jumping, “KYLE! Y/N! DINNER!” Sheila yells. “Coming mom!” You and Kyle chime, before looking at each other and laughing. Before long you and Kyle head down to the kitchen only for a small blurr to knock you off your feet. “y/n, Buddy!” Ike yells, you let out a laugh and hug the boy back “Ike! I’ve missed you!” You say. A small girl walks out of the kitchen and smiles shyly “hiya, I’m Em! It’s nice to meet you.” She says, shaking Kyle’s hand. “I’m Kyle, this is Y/n. It’s nice to meet you” he says as you all sit down to eat with his parents.

#south park #kyle x reader #south park smau #x reader #x reader text

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southpark-source · 9 months ago

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"I'm the worst."

Matt Stone is struggling to kill Kenny. The South Park co-creator isn't in the midst of a creative crisis, he's just battling against the iconic character in the latest game inspired by the series, South Park: Snow Day. He's showing us the new 3D, rogue-like inspired fartfest ahead of the game's release on Xbox, PS5, Nintendo Switch, and PC later this month. Kenny, in his Princess Kenny persona, is attacking Stone's co-op team with anime-inspired hearts while rainbows swirl around.

"We came off of The Fractured But Whole, and we definitely wanted to do another video game, but we wanted to do something different," Stone told us as he played Snow Day with us in New York. "We started talking about doing something a little different, more about replayability. More about being able to update characters. We always thought we wanted to do that thing where we do a thing in a show and then like, it's in the game two weeks later, or three weeks, or whatever it is. And with The Fractured But Whole and Stick of Truth, it's hard to do."

So Stone and the development team at Question came up with an entirely new adventure for the South Park gang to take on. Snow Day is a change of direction from the previous two South Park games of note, swapping the mechanics of big fantasy RPGs like Skyrim for chaotic co-op battles as you take the role of New Kid to dash through snowy parts of the town fighting off enemies and guzzling Cheesy Poofs health packs. The story is simple: it's snowing in South Park and the kids have a day off to play fantasy war games, but the snow won't stop, suggesting more than just climate could be at work.

South Park: Snow Day Screenshots

"The previous games feel like you're in a South Park movie," says South Park: Snow Day writer Jameel Saleem, who also writes for the series and cameos as Tolkien's Dad in The Fractured but Whole. “You know, it's very immersive. This is more of a visceral feeling of just like being able to run around in South Park and run around in the snow."

"It starts with just the kids playing a game. And whenever we start there, that's like the best. That's the secret sauce.

"We tried to make it kind of like a long episode of South Park narratively, where maybe there actually is a real threat and that emerges,” explains Stone. “But it starts with just the kids playing a game. And whenever we start there, that's like the best. That's the secret sauce. That's what this game is: there's a snow day, the kids are like, ‘Hell yeah, we get to go play!’ every single day, they just bust it out, they have this whole entire world and galaxy. And you know, it's a lot of the same characters from Stick of Truth and the Dungeons & Dragons kind of themed stuff."

So there are still all the references you'll recognize from previous games – Wizard Cartman, the Chaos Minions, and Kyle's elvish warriors – but with the added spice of Bullshit cards to add OP abilities to your team, and different upgrades to deploy to make your next run the one that counts. While you might spot some of the adult characters, this is a game about the kids, which made having them kick the crap out of each other much more entertaining.

As you might have spotted in the trailer, everything has an added dimension for Snow Day. The characters and the town of South Park have gained a little weight with a full 3D makeover. It looks great, like Funko Pops possessed by some sort of murderous demon, but also opened up the gameplay possibilities for the team at Question.

"The 2D stuff - amazing as it was to make those games - it was really, really hard when you think about what you have to work with. It's just very confined, how we even made those fights work. And it's the freedom here to create, it's just a lot easier in the 3D realm," says Stone. "For me, I just accept that these are the South Park kids. I know it's a new look, but to me that makes total sense. I think we've learned a lot about the animation. And I think now we could really go further."

Stone notes that the pricing for Snow Day allowed the team to take a risk: "This game as a $29.99 game – that seemed like the right size for us to try 3D for the first time [and] make it work, make all those systems work without biting off too much and failing at it, you know."

As you might have guessed from South Park episodes like Informative Murder Porn and Make Love, Not Warcraft, and the previous South Park RPGs, Stone and fellow South Park creator Trey Parker are gamers. Stone cited Hades as one of the games the team was playing when South Park: Snow Days was born, but also revealed that one of the keys to getting another South Park game made is getting he and Parker interested in something that appeals to both of their gaming sensibilities.

"Trey [Parker] and I have totally different tastes in games. I could basically just button mash.

"Trey and I have totally different tastes in games. I could basically just button mash, I could just play fighting games all the time. I like strategy games a little bit." "Trey likes RPGs and Dungeons and Dragons and real strategy games. He's a total board game freak and [into] just kind of more cerebral and rules-based things. And again, I don't [play those] at all so then how do we make a game? So we talked about replayability and playing with friends, and that was also a big reason to do the 3D is like, wow, that would be really cool to be able to be with your friends and do this."

You can expect more from South Park the show later this year, and South Park: Snow Day will be released on March 26. Stone's advice for getting good when the game comes out is simple. "Definitely have different characters, some with a little more melee, some with a little more range. Don't have me on your team."

#south park #snow day #matt stone

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basu-shokikita · 2 years ago

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(abt your last post) I love how the fact kyle is king elf vs cartman being great wizard is once again, about these two idiots having beef with each other and making it literally everyone else's problem. it's like, they invent the rules and then the others have to find roles for themselves to play on either side

IT'S SO FUNNY like i can't ever let go of the fact that kyle was on cartman's side in console wars and then he apparently decided to kill his paladin persona to become the elf king so he could have a proper alter-ego that would rival cartman?? so he could be on the same level with cartman?? talk about being a competitive bitch?? like we get it, you're obsessed with cartman. god

#ask stuff #mirrorshards

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milestonekestrel · 2 years ago

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Eric Cartman the Grand Wizard

Eric Cartman is the son of Jack Tenorman and adoptive brother of Princess Kenny, he founded the human kingdom after becoming the grand wizard. He was very close with Kenny but was soon betrayed by her, after she had been driven mad. He then allowed the elves to officially join kingdoms wit his, elected Douchebag as the new king, defended against Clyde Donovan, Mitch Conner, and Leslie Meyers, and founded a new kingdom in new territory. Years prior to the death of Jack Tenorman, Cartman had become a rouge and partnered up with a young thief by the name of Mitch Conner, whom he abandoned during a heist gone wrong, leaving Mitch to die.

Many, Many yess after his death he was reincarnated as just Eric Cartman, a cat from a small town in Colorado who possessed no powers besides better combat skills. He became infatuated with promises of greatness from an ancient spirit and almost released all evil upon his town. He was stopped, but his deeds resulted in one severe casualty he was never forgiven for.

#south park #cat-ified designs #eric cartman #the stick of truth #honey’s tsot au tag

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empressofthesunwriter · 1 year ago

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The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 13: Sunshine! Sparkle!

The next morning I woke up feeling like I got run over by a car.

Urgh!

I hate life.

Maybe the Goths are into something.

I roll over, away from my window, grabbing Ursa tight.

Need more sleep.

Before I can fall into sweet bliss again, I hear how I get a notification on my phone.

I want to ignore it…but I could be Tammy. I ain’t let hanging my best girl.

So I check my Facebook message.

Oh…it’s Kyle.

Emergency meeting at the Elven Forest.

Why?

Like a slap in the face, I remember what happened yesterday.

Clyde and his army of darkness.

The perverted Underpants Gnomes.

….MY PARENTS HAVING SEX!

With I shout I run into the bathroom and throw up. God, I didn’t need to remember that so vividly!

After I’m done leaving my guts in the toilette I brush my teeth, I need to get the taste away. Then I decide to take a long shower and maybe cry over my lost innocent.

Yeah sounds like a plan.

When I’m freshly washed I get dressed in my room in my Dark Magician Girl Cosplay. I fix my hair up with brown extensions and with hairspray. I form the spiky hairstyle of the original Dark Magician Girl. I grip my wand, which is of course the same that the original uses.

I’m ready for the day!

I go down the stairs, pointedly don’t look at my parents and ignore their question if I want breakfast.

I mumbled something that I’m not hungry.

Then I’m out of the house.

I can’t right now be close to them.

“Morning, N.K.!”, greets Tammy, also in her fighter armor.

“Hey, Tam!”

We hug each other.

“What you doing here sis?”, I ask her after our hug.

She takes my arm and we start to walk.

“You surely saw King Kyle post on Facebook I thought we could go together to the Elven Forest.”, she explains.

I smile.

“You thought right.”

We chat about random things on our way over. Ah, that’s what I need to not think about THAT.

It feels so normal.

It’s a good feeling. Something I terribly missed this last days.

Finally, we reach the Elven Forest.

King Kyle takes note of this.

“Ah, Dark Magician Queen N.K. and Lady Tammy have decided to bless us with their presence. Let's get started.”

Tammy sits between me and Stan. Cartman sends me an evil look as I sit down beside him, while I just give him the middle finger.

I won fair and square the throne. Even if Clyde took my power away in a puff. It’s still awesome that the others recognize me now as the queen of Kupa Keep.

Also, I will change the name later, I will not let my kingdom be called KKK anymore.

The elven king has prepared a PowerPoint Presentation for us with a projector and a screen fabric.

“Humans and Elves of Zaron, a great evil has descended upon us.”, he begins. “After researching last night, I believe we are facing a threat to our entire world.”

He shows us Clyde’s evil yet badass fortress on the screen.

“Clyde's fortress of darkness is over four stories tall. So far, he has recruited at least fifty warriors to be on his team, and he-“

That’s when Cartman decides to do his job as the local asshole/bastard, whisper-shouting to Leo: “Teehee, leave it to Kyle to tehehe...”

“You have something to say, Wizard?”

“Oh, nothing. Just think it's ... kind of funny how Drow elves in the Middle Ages can use Powerpoint.”, Fatass snickers.

“Oh my god, can you please shut up!”, I command. “This is important.”

“You may have gotten my throne bitch, but you aren’t my queen!”, he hisses back.

I fix him with my best death glare and hit with my fist into my hand.

“You wanna go again, fat boy? I will kick your ass for all eternity!”

My glare must be really terrific since Cartman looks ready to shit his pants, also all humans who see it are shaking too. Even Kenny and Leo!

I hear something about red eyes.

Heh?

“Queen N.K. I thank you for trying to keep order, but right now kicking Cartman’s ass, will not help us.”, tells King Kyle.

I look at Tammy, who gives me a nod. With a sign, I stop and cross my arms.

“Please continue, King Kyle.”

“Thank you as I was saying…Clyde is attempting to raise an army of darkness. I believe he is messing with something he cannot control. He has recruited many of our friends and so... our only hope is for our two factions to join forces.”

My subjects are shocked, while Kyle’s people seemed already to have accepted this idea. Maybe he told them before.

“FUCK. THAT.”, shouts Fatass. “WE do not team up with fucking ELVES.”

“You got a better idea, Wizard fatass?”, counters Stan.

“After what you elves did to us at the Battle of Wormsly Woods?!”, even Leo joins in. “You think we'll ever trust you?”

Having enough and before it escalates I stand up and stand before my people.

“Enough!”, I shout loud and clear. “I know I’m only been queen since yesterday, I don’t know what past our kingdom has with the elven one, but guys, see the bigger picture here! I agree with King Kyle. We need to join forces against Clyde. It will not help us to still fight each other if fucking Clyde takes over the world with his Nazi Zombie Army! I’m making myself clear?!”

Again I see how my friends and subjects shake. I’m really that scary? Tammy is giving me a proud thumbs up, while the elven try their hardest not to laugh.

“I’m making myself clear?!”, I repeat again, waiting for a response from my subjects.

Princess Kenny is the first to answer: “If the queen thinks this is for the best I support her.”

Shocked gasp from our people sound.

“Of course, you would say that Kinny! That bitch sucked your dick!”, accused Wizard Fatass.

Me and Kenny send him death glares.

“If I did or did not is not relevant and also is non of your fucking business, fatass!”, I shout and point my wand in his face. “I’m thinking about how to save our kingdom! This is the most important. If an alliance will help us so be it! So shut up and be the grand wizard we need for the fight and not a bastard for once in your life!”

I hear damn sons and approving whistles from Tammy and the elves. I can see that my subjects looking at each, whispering, and then all nod, besides Cartman of course.

“If you think this will be for the best, big sis…then we will follow your lead.”, speaks Leo for all.

I nod at him and sit down on my chair. I wave at Kyle to continue with his presentation.

The red-haired boy is looking at me…I would say in an admiring way. I blush and play with my wand. Tammy giggles softly in my ear. I blush even more. She will soooo tease me later, I feel it.

“Again, thanks queen N.K. I’m glad we are on the same page with this.”

“I don’t want to be a party pooper.”, begins Stan. “Even if we JOIN forces we don't have enough warriors.”

“So we recruit more factions to join us. The Pirates. The Federation. And... the Girls.”

Tammy and I deadpan at how all the boys are shocked about this.

“The GIRLS?!”, shouts Leo.

“Kyle, the GIRLS are not gonna fucking play with us.”, seems Cartman to remind him.

“Yeah, dude, we can't convince girls to do this.”, surprisingly Stan agrees.

“No, but maybe Queen N.K. can.”, counters Kyle. I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow at all the looks the boys send me. Only Tammy isn’t staring like a cow. She is deadpanning at them too. “Queen N.K. has a power we have yet to understand. She makes friends on Facebook faster than any we have seen.”

“She is really good at getting Facebook friends, I'll give her that.”, admins Wizard Chubby.

“And that I’m also a girl is totally irrelevant?”, I can’t help but point out. “And Lady Tammy here too.”

Kyle turns adorable red like a tomato.

“Erm…of course this too, queen N.K. I bet since you are their elder the girls in our grade will consider playing with us if you ask them.”, tries Kyle to save his face.

I giggle softly.

“It’s okay, cutie, I was just messing with ya.”, I flirt.

He turns red as his hair and is at a total loss for words. I hear a few snickers. Cartman opens his mouth to say something, I just hit him over the head with my wand.

“You be quiet. If you only talk shit, you will get hit.”

Grumbling curses under his breath Fatass rubs his hurting spot.

Now nearly everyone is snickering. I bet they all enjoy me putting Cartman in his place.

“Now that this is out of the way, please find a way to get the Girls to side with us, queen N.K. I'll deal with the other factions.”, promises Kyle. “The rest of you return to your stations and prepare for war.”

With a loud huzzah, we collected the chairs to put them away.

“Any idea where we could find the fourth-grade girls Tam?”, I ask my best friend, since the boys will surely not know it.

“Well when I was in fourth grade we had a secret base.”, she tells me. Huh, interesting. “It’s kind of a tradition here in South Park. But the only problem is that any new generation changes the location of the base. I think we need to find a fourth-grade girl to lead us to them.”

“Awesome! This means we can walk all day long if we don’t find someone!”, I groan annoyed, and let my head rest against her shoulder.

Tammy cooes and pets my head.

“There, there, N.K.”

“Erm, big sis?”

Surprised I look up.

Leo is standing before us.

“Hey Leo, what’s up, little bro?”

“Do you remember Annie, the one you helped against the bullies? She is a fourth grader and owes you a favor.”

I blink.

“Oh…I totally forgot! Thanks, Leo! I will send her a message.”

I ruffle his hair, while he smiles cutely up at me.

I choose to take Tammy with me to the fourth-grade girls. Having two elders and no boys will maybe sway them faster in agreeing to help us.

“So…you like King Kyle?”, asks me Tammy with twinkling eyes, as we make our way to City Hall, where Annie is waiting for us.

I blush red.

I know she would tease.

“I’m in a goddamn love triangle, Tam!”, I bemoan my faith to her. “I hate it! It’s the most stupid cliche ever! I like Kyle and also Princess Kenny.”

Now Tammy is blinking rapidly at me.

“Princess Kenny? Huh, that’s kind of funny, my ex-boyfriend was named Kenny too.”

“I think, the princess and your ex are the same.”, I wince. “In real life, she is Kenny McCormick.”

“Oh…!”

“Yep.”

We walk in silence for a while. This is a really awkward situation.

Tammy is the first to find her words.

“N.K. don’t feel bad, you meet Kenny earlier than me. How should you know that he was my boyfriend once?”

“It feels still so…awkward.”

“Listen, me and Kenny ended our relationship as friends, and…you are my best friend, even if we have known each other for such a short time.”, she takes my hand in hers and squeezes it. “What we have is so more…. potent than whatever I had with Kenny. So if you want him, get him. I just want us to stay best friends.”

“Me too, Tam, like sis, I think you are my soulmate!”, I confess to her, squeezing her hand back. “I don’t wanna lose you. You are more important than my two crushes.”

“That’s the sappiest thing anyone ever said to me…I dig it!”

I plant a soft kiss on her cheek, which makes her blush adorable.

So cute.

“I have more of that, but…you really okay if I go for Kenny. If I go…there is still Kyle.”

Now she kisses my cheek and I turn red.

“Yes, really don’t worry.”

At least my relationship with Tammy is safe.

What I should do about Kenny and Kyle is a whole other house number.

Sign.

Why I’m in a stupid love triangle?

Why?

It doesn’t need to be a love triangle, girl…polyamory!

My face turns into a pepperoni.

Where did this thought come from?

I was always monogamous in my relanteship. I never felt the need to date different people at the same time.

Why know?

…Because I can’t fucking decide and thinking about having both Kyle and Kenny as boyfriends turns me so fucking happy.

Uha, better stop now.

There is City Hall and Annie waiting for us.

“Hello N.K. and Tammy, right?”, she greets us.

I nod, while Tammy greets back for us.

“So what can I help you with?”

I explain in short words what shit we are currently dealing with and that we need more girl power to kick Clyde’s ass.

“I see.”, frowns Annie. “I can take you to the fourth-grade girls. But I don't think they'll be very willing to play with boys. Do you wish to speak to them now?”

“Yes, time is a wasting.”

“Then please follow me, N.K. and Tammy.”

And we do just that.

Tammy and I are impressed with what the fourth-grade girls did with the girl bathroom in the playground.

Yes, their secret base is there.

How did they manage to paint it, bring these tables and all this other shit like posters here, I wonder.

A pretty black-haired girl with a lilac barret seems to be the head of the girls since she is the only one sitting at one of the higher tables.

“The four hundred and twelfth meeting of the girls is hereby called to order. Sparkle, Sparkle.”, she proclaims like we are in a trail, even with a little gravel.

“Sunshine!”, responded all the girls.

“Sunshine sparkle, Millie Larsen has the floor.”, says a brunette with a hairband.

This Millie Larsen starts right away: “If it pleases and sparkles, I move that we vote IMMEDIATELY on the urgent matter involving Monica Ryland.”

Agreeing sound from all the girls.

I look at them with fascination. That is so straight, I could nearly puke. But still fascinating. Since I’m bi I have no idea how straight girls think.

Tammy whispers nostalgic to me: “I’m having so many flashbacks.”

I grin at her.

“Excuse me, I'm sorry but I have an urgent matter that I believe needs to be addressed first.”, calls Annie for attention.

“The chair acknowledges Annie.”, says barrett girl.

“Sunshine, sparkle, Annie Knitts has the floor.”

“If it pleases and sparkles, two of our elders from the fifth grade are here to talk with us about a request from the fourth-grade boys.”

Like the good straight girls their age, they play their role of being sick hearing boys nominated. I bet at least half of them already had boyfriends.

“What request do the boys ask of us?”, wants the head girl to know.

“Sunshine, sparkle, I’m Tammy and she is N.K., little sisters.”, answers Tammy for us. “We came here since we are playing an RPG with the boys, but it has gone so out of control that we need more players. You.”

“Erm yes, sunshine sparkle, did I say that right? I’m currently the queen of one of the fractions and I need some Amazons in my kingdom. You pretty and powerful girls wanna help us beat up a stupid boy?”, I add.

“That…is interesting.”, admins the head girl. “I’m Wendy, pleased to meet you two. How did you manage to become queen of the boys?”

The other girls are interested too.

“I beat up Eric Cartman like the little pussy he is.”, I explain.

Awwing sounds all around us.

Wendy smiles nostalgically.

“Ah, reminds me at the time I beat up Cartman. Good times.”

Okay, I already like this Wendy! Anyone who shows the fatass his borders is amazing!

“So you girls wanna be my amazons?”, I ask again. “Anyone who fights against fatass is my type of girl.”

For that I get confused looks…only Wendy seems to get what I mean and blushes.

Oh…someone isn’t as straight as they present themselves?

Right, my black-haired beauty?

I wink at her, which makes her blush more.

“What?! We don't have time for that!”, shouts Millie. “Something VERY big happened and we MUST do something!”

“I know, I thought maybe they could help.”, answers Annie.

“Oh, that's not a bad idea.”, means a cute blond girl with long locks. “I glitter Annie's idea.”

“Sunshine, sparkle. A motion has been glittered to have queen N.K. and?-“

“Lady Tammy.”

“And Lady Tammy help with Monica Ryland.”

Now I’m curious what this could be.

“Well spit it out, girls?”, I tell them, while Tammy nods in agreement.

“All right, your Highness and Lady Tammy, look - there are TERRIBLE RUMORS going around town that our good friend Allie Nelson was spotted at the abortion clinic.”, explains Wendy.

I frown and Tammy gasp shocked.

“I have NEVER been to the abortion clinic! I'm not a whore!”, calls this Allie Nelson into the room.

Tammy looks at her with sympathy and I purse my lips.

I don’t really see the problem with either things.

Like abortion is our right and being a whore is a stupid concept. I mean I call myself a thirsty hoe, but how Allie says whore implies for me she means it in the patriarchy way that girls can’t even kiss two boys without being labeled as dirty and whores, while boys can fuck 50 girls and are the kings of the world.

Did I mention that I hate the patriarchy?

No?

Now, you know.

“We aren't sure, but we think the girl spreading rumors about Allie is Monica Ryland.”, reveals Wendy.

“And then she has the gall to act all nice to me!”, adds Allie.

“We have to know for sure if Monica Ryland is a two-faced bitch or not. If one of you had been a boy we would have done this: we would send Monica a Facebook page with YOUR picture then told her that you're Bebe's boyfriend from Lakewood, and you want to meet her and ask her what the best thing to get Bebe for her birthday would be, and see if Monica tries to hit on you at all because THAT way, we can see if Monica is a manipulative bitch.”

“Right.”, comes from the golden locks’ beauty. So her name is BeBe.

Tammy nods in understanding, while I can just stare at them.

I think I’m going to have a rash from all this straightness, bitchness, patriarchy-infused mind thinking these little fourth-grade girls have going on.

Once again I want to thank the Lord that he made me bi and I don’t have that kind of mindset.

I can’t even comprehend that.

It’s so stupid.

Like we girls should ALL stick together and kick the patriarchy in it’s non existed balls!

The future is female and all that!

Wendy’s voice drags me back from my thoughts: “But since neither of you is a boy, we don’t know what to do.”

“Well, N.K. could dress up as a boy!”, suggests Tammy. “The boys thought for a while she was a boy as she was walking around in her Link Cosplay.”

I turn to Tammy and mouth what the fuck to her. She just shrugs her shoulders.

“Oho really, but you are so pretty!”, compliments me Bebe, but I see the envy in her eyes.

Oh no, I don’t have the nerve for this bullshit.

The other girls agree with her, yet their looks spell the same as Bebe one.

Amazing!

“I can put my Sasuke Uchiha cosplay on, that’s the only other male cosplay I have.”, I grit out from behind my teeth and wish to be anywhere else than here.

“Is he good-looking?”, wants Bebe to know.

Wordless I show her a picture of me in my Sasuke cosplay.

She nods.

“Yes, that will do.”

…I’m going to kill someone. I can’t with this shit.

“Do this task for us, and we will consider your request.”

Thanks, Wendy that you will consider it! And here I thought there was another one who wasn’t straight.

My Bi-Fi needs calibrations.

Wendy hits her gravel and says Sparkle and all, even Tammy, answer with sunshine.

I don’t even wait that Annie accompanied us to the door, I get out alone.

I need to watch/read some Yuri to get away from all this Heteronormativity/Patriarchy/Anti-Feminist I experienced.

Also, I need to change cosplay.

Why do I have a feeling this will be not easy as it seems?

#southparkfanfiction #southpark #new kid sp #dovahkiin #stick of truth #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1 #douchbag #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #k2 #polyamarous

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gay-pompeii · 6 years ago

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cool-island-songs · 3 years ago

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do u have any more fic recs? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

Oh GOD anon, so many! I'm going to do Creek but it won't be comprehensive, as I've been reading Creek fics since I was 13 and so much has been deleted. If there was a specific ship you were interested in instead, please feel free to send another ask. Also, I love to talk fic and SP generally! Send me asks/dms whenever

This is quite long, but I’ve bolded and hyperlinked most author names and fic titles for easy access. I should note I was out of the fandom entirely from ~2010-2020 and my memories of that first time around reading fic are spotty at best. I will almost certainly add fics as I remember them, and will append those to the orphaned/misc. section at the bottom

- Just recently found AndThenIDied who has a zombie Creek fic from 2012 that is in progress and rly cool, Rotten (previously “He Likes His Rare”). Also ft. Bebe/Tweek friendship/zombie ass-kicking partnership. This writer also has a few oneshots, my faves being Lunch Break and It Had to Be You.

- apollos writes one of my favorite Tweek voices; the rhythm of his speech is perfect and the judicious use of exclamation pts rly effectively conveys the way he struggles to control his volume/outbursts. The multi-chapter Love in the Bodies of Elephants Too is my fave canon-compliant fic to tackle the “fake dating“ ambiguity trope that cropped up in the wake of TxC. It makes sense that Tweek would have everything but the acknowledgement from Craig that they are gay boyfriends deeply in love. It’s just rly heavy and beautiful and one of my all time faves. Also love oneshots Doctor’s Orders and Second Act Breakup (Third Act Makeup), and the devastating Swimmers in the Sea of Inevitability (one of my fave Creek angst fics). This author has a good deal of Style and Kendy too

- applecrumbledore’s Seven days of alien summer. I’ve rec’d this before and I’ll rec it again. Perfectly encapsulates that nostalgic small town vibe of early South Park (alien abductions certainly don’t hurt). Stan describes C+T as “easily two of the weirdest guys they knew. Craig was a science geek who smoked like a chimney and never smiled. Tweek was bratty, cynical and utterly charming; the worst thing about Tweek was Craig [...] They were inseparable in a way that was half deeply romantic and half Children of the Corn.” V refreshing to read a fic w/ Style and Creek where they aren’t excessively at odds (and one that reflects Stan + Kyle’s canonical preference for Tweek over Craig). Cartman is also so spot-on

This author has two orphaned Style-centric fics, neither of which contain explicit Creek, but I’m going to link them here bc the author confirmed these are their fics in AO3 comments and someone messaged me last time I mentioned knowing what they were: the amazing dirt wizard (the only time I’ve ever been into Cryle) and missed connections (contains side Kyman)

- Captain Dude (Handbag Murder) is an excellent writer and I recommend checking everything out. I conceive of Craig quite differently, but it’s hard to care when everything is so internally consistent and well-fleshed out. There are 3 recurring themes in the cap’n dude catalog to which I’m v drawn: the exquisite pain of unrequited love, not knowing where you stand, and dry humping. This author is also uniquely skilled at articulating that very teenaged phenomenon of having outsized romantic/sexual expectations and then finding the reality to be something else entirely, as in the multi-chapter fics Tinder Surprise and COSMIC ORDER, NATURAL LAW. My personal faves are unfinished multi-chapter The Ex and oneshots Joyrides through the second circle, Leave the Lights on: An irrational fear of the dark. (absolute fave!), ChaosTheory, This doesn’t constitute proof that blonds have more fun, and (UN)Speakable. PRISM (non-shippy, doomsday setting) is also great. These are all top Tweek/bottom Craig

- @cheylouwho has a lot of great Creek fics, my faves being Mine, Mine, Mine and the Pastor and Imp series. The former is a play on yandere Clyde, which was apparently a meme ~2014. I have questions about yandere Clyde but also instinctively love it. It’s as if the Cryde community came to life and was like I will k i l l that little blond bitch if u write one more uwu fic w/ him and my Craig!!! Linked the author’s tumblr acct above bc I’ve found her posts about SP fandom past informative. She also runs the South Park Fanart Archive tumblr

- Already rec’d Del’Mareve’s your princess is in another castle, which the author describes as “an AU in which everyone can kick some ass”, but I’ll rec it again and again for one of the most fascinating interpretations of Tweek I’ve read. His dialogue is so spot-on and I love that he’s sexually fluid. There are great Craig/Tweek fighting scenes, and their opposing moral outlooks come into conflict, which I always find compelling. This writer also has an interesting Tweekstophe oneshot Viens Avec Moi and a Bunny oneshot on that ff.net account

- Eerily writes so beautifully. My fave is The Gentle Sin, and I also love the unfinished multi-chapter Small Lifeforms. Also, Oculus??? Are you kidding me???? I have so many regrets at leaving the fandom when I did reading fics like Oculus. Name above links to the AO3 acct - here’s the ff.net acct

- Flynncantation’s unfinished multi-chap Down the Rabbit Hole, a mysterious fic w/ a non-linear narrative and supernatural elements. It’s quite different as Tweek has so much going on in his life that has nothing to do with Craig, that Craig can’t necessarily help him with, and that may even preclude Craig being in his life. I recommend checking everything else out too. I particularly love oneshots Kicking In ft. nasty bottom slut Craig, Step On My Heart (I Like It) ft. Pete Thelman POV, Dick Sucker Tucker, Drag Me Away, Double Bluff, and Along Came Earth.

- gremlinteeth’s Ladies and Gentlemen We are Floating in Space - fic where Craig and Tweek never speak after their fight in T vs C. Lots of violent homophobia, but it helps bridge the gap between old South Park and new in a way. The Tucker family vibe is so homey and sad and divorced, and I love this Laura Tucker. There’s no real smut, but the sexual tension is amazing. Craig is so in love with Tweek, and absolutely terrified of all that entails. Contains the best depressed alcoholic Stan and subverts a lot of tired SP high school fanfic tropes all around

- @guineasaurusrex‘s ongoing multi-chapter What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? - a unique and beautiful reinterpretation of the fake dating trope w/in a never-met college AU setting. Contains the most realistic depiction of Tweek’s parents’ emotional abuse I’ve read. The abuse isn’t dramatized; it’s actually quite a funny fic that just happens to capture that aspect of Tweek’s life like no other. As w/ gremlinteeth’s fic above, I didn’t even notice the lack of smut bc the chemistry between Craig and Tweek is so palpable. Above all, I love how easily Tweek sees through the front Craig puts up that has everyone else fooled, but doesn’t at all realize Craig isn’t used to being seen that way. I love Craig’s vulnerability tbh; it’s one of the most beautiful things ppl zero in on in the Creek dynamic imo, when Tweek can see parts of Craig no one else can.

I also rec the two other guineasaurusrex fics on AO3 - the hilarious two-shot Signs Point to Yes, and the unfinished multi-chapter Plain Sight, also v funny and different

- No one particularly needs me to rec hollycomb. If you’ve ever searched the SP ff.net or AO3 archives and sorted by kudos/faves, you know about hollycomb (as well you should)! Her style is so distinctive that, reading her fics now, I know for sure I read them as a teen despite memory loss from that time. Style was usually her focus, but I recently found two Creek oneshots on her livejournal I don’t think I’d read before: Fight or Flight and Instinct and Innovation. In addition to the oneshots themselves, I rly enjoyed her replies in the comments as I’ve been reflecting lately on the drastic power imbalance common in the Creek dynamic of the mid-late 00s. She mentions in one comment conceiving of the Craig and Tweek relationship as a sort of naturally occurring D/s dynamic

The main reason I read Style/K2 was that I’d get sick of the one-sided nature of the Craig/Tweek relationship as it was commonly written in the mid-late 00s. In a good chunk of these fics, there would be little to no attempt to establish what, if anything, Craig might get out of being w/ Tweek. I appreciate these hollycomb oneshots, her Style-centric Leave the Pieces, and I Came a Long Way to See You by @skrtomg for actually delving into Craig’s motivations for wanting to be with Tweek. All four paint a compelling picture of a dominant asshole Craig who needs sweet pathetic bb Tweek just as badly as Tweek needs him. He needs to be needed, for someone to think him strong and capable. The SekritOMG fic goes the extra length of giving Tweek a diagnosis that accounts for his extreme dependence on others, and it becomes apparent that Stan and Kyle understand little about the inner workings of Craig and Tweek’s D/s relationship, just as Craig doesn’t see any appeal in their normie vanilla domesticity (also just rly love the bit where Kyle conspicuously checks out Craig’s dick and probably balls. Good for him tbh).

My fave hollycomb Craig is film hipster virgin Craig in Other People’s Tupperware. This fic feels like a glimpse into a version of Craig that doesn’t have a Tweek to make him feel strong and sane in relation to. The nature of that sort of dynamic is articulated more explicitly in hollycomb’s That Was Now and This is Then from Token’s perspective: “Tweek is supposed to be the needy one, but that's why Craig loves the kid and built this whole dysfunctional empire around him: Tweek is Craig's emotional scapegoat. He freaks out so that Craig doesn't have to.“ Kink Meme chapter This Means War also contains some reference to the Creek dynamic w/in the broader context of CATG vs the main four (Stan joking that CATG “were twisted versions of their own group”). I def recommend checking these fics out, particularly if you’re interested in seeing imo the best iterations of this particular Creek dynamic that was popular over a decade ago, and remains influential to this day.

- IDRC’s The Ring. This is the most himbo Craig I’ve ever read and I love the way Tweek is imagined as a young adult here. He has serious trust issues and a dramatic little story about Craig from when they were kids, but it plays out in a way I found v realistic. Also, Boxer Tweek! Boxer Craig! Angry fighty sexual tension and lots of drunk/himbo sex

@ladyfeldspar is a long-time Creek fic writer I’m positive I read back in the day. My fave is oneshot Crushed bc it portrays Craig pretty typically for that time (Tricia calls him a f*ckboy in TFBW for a reason!), but Tweek is more forward than was the norm for ‘08. The only fic I can recall to make the point that Craig’s reasons for liking Thomas are a terrible basis for a relationship. I rec checking out this author’s catalog; the ongoing multi-chap Wrong Number has a v different Craig than in the above oneshot. Every update, my desire to head on down to the self-esteem store and pick some up for me and Craig increases exponentially. Once I find out where it is, it’s over for you hoes 😔

LWTIS oneshot To All The Demons Under My Bed for a light-hearted imp Tweek/reggo Craig oneshot. I just think this is a v well-characterized Craig. Alien fic The Importance of A Well Maintained Spreadsheet (And A Good Label Gun) is also cute

- mareepysheepy's unfinished multi-chapter From Ashes. Many imp Tweek/pastor Craig fics portray the dynamic as Tweek maliciously tempting Craig into breaking his vow of celibacy. This is different, and at the same time the version of that that makes the most sense to me going off of their usual personalities in canon. The past Cromas dynamic is also unique, far more fleshed-out than most, and I stayed up all night reading this the first time. Love all this writer’s fics, esp oneshots Right Message, Poor Delivery, A Canopy Dotted With Stars, Family is What You Make of It, and Along Came A Spaceman, the Craig POV counterpart to Flynncantation’s Along Came Earth linked above

Quite like Mattycakes’ Meth Baby, Tweek Hated Parties, and Love Bites, among others

- I've already rec'd metrophobic's Tweeker Nation at least twice, but I love the whole metrophobic oeuvre. Metrophobic writes my absolute fave Tweek and Craig voices. They’re both such weird nasty little sluts and so sickeningly in love. I often find myself rereading Empty Spaces which is based on an old kink meme prompt about spanking Tweek to orgasm. I like how metrophobic's Creek sexual dynamic developed after this one, as Tweek is a classic sub/bottom in this, and I hc him as at least a bratty sub (he just runs his mouth way too much not to be, but that is a somewhat newer development). But as someone who was shipping Creek back when their fanon dynamic was largely extremely imbalanced, it's wild to read something that slots Tweek into a trad sub role, but fully articulates the way the sub is always ultimately in control. He also has his own life outside Craig in a way that subverts the older common Creek dynamic where Tweek is just some Craig hanger-on. I find this piece to be a fascinating and nuanced bridge b/w old and new Creek dynamics (also hot). Other faves: Grown-Up Abduction Isn’t Funny Either, The Right Time (“I dunno if I can say it again yet,” Craig replied. “That took a lot out of me.” - Craig after saying ‘I love you’ for the first time T~T), this take on imp Tweek/pastor Craig, Little Glass Flowers, Poor Baby, Solicited Dickpics, and Certified Organic.

If a fic writer can sell me on a character or ship I didn't gaf about previously, I think they got somethin' special, and metrophobic got me on Clenny in Guts and Pumpkin and Honey Bunny

- PBJellie similarly got me caring about Butters and Pip in a way I just hadn't previously in fics. There’s no attempt to elide their flaws or make them any less annoying, and they’re all the more human and engaging (and, quite frankly, themselves) for it. The characterization is always on point for a wide range of SP characters, and the setting feels like SP in all its sleazy glory. Interesting Pip/Tweek dynamics in Collectively Unconsciously Composed and in Oats We Sow (both A/B/O multi-chap fics), as well as in A Tale of Two Roommates ft. obnoxious bratty grad student Tweek.

Other faves: Strictly Business, Laundry Day, Going Going Gone, humor oneshots Craig Tucker Hates Green Beans and The Noirette

- As w/ hollycomb, I probably don’t have to tell you about Qindarka’s Aisle 10 (it’s the most favorited fic in SP on ff.net), but I’d never read it til last year, having left the fandom right before it was first published. It’s amazing. Tweek is his own, fully fleshed-out human being, rather than a spare appendage of Craig’s, and he knows it! This little speech of his always blows me away:

“No, you never care. About anything. Least of all about me. You’re just curious, because I’m this weird twitchy kid that steals sh!t, am I right? Am I interesting, Craig? Am I adorable? Wanna make a movie about me?”

He’s the anti-manic pixie dream boy, and it’s so good. It honestly feels like they lifted sassy Tricia directly from this fic when they finally gave her lines in The Fractured but Whole (and after reading cheylouwho’s post about former fans going on to work on the show, I’m not so sure it’s out of the question). I also really like this unfinished short fic by the same author: decent fiction

-rachhell has excellent fics w/ a more traditionally dominant Tweek, including Out of The Woods, drabble collection little sins, We Might Be Exactly Like We Were, tons of Creek in this 2017 Kinktober collection, and the extremely painful degausser. That last one hurt my feelings and made me hate deploying gizmo Ike in phone destroyer lmao. Exquisite angst

- Sun_Sparks‘ everything is fantastic, esp the cute multi-chapter Practice and Execution, sexy oneshot Mr Right Now (ft. top Tweek), and I really love A School Reunion which looks to be abandoned, but has a really funny & fun drunk Stan

- @tlinrookie‘s ongoing multi-chapter This Must Be the Place and oneshot The Block which seems to be set in the same verse. I love the Kenny/Tweek friendship dynamic in the former and overall how well this author depicts intimacy. There’s so much palpable love and warmth in the sex scenes. Countdown is another fave and I suggest checking out the whole catalog

- towards‘ fics delve deeply into Tweek’s meth addiction and mental health problems. My fave is the short but powerful oneshot All good things. This is another of my top Creek angst fics

- tweeksqueak‘s Hale-Bopp is so good and weird. I love aliens in SP fanfic

- I love @wintergrew‘s SoT trilogy The Thief (in progress rn), but my fave is the recently completed Kill All Your Friends. I never even had an MCR or vamp kid phase. It was just really good. Recent oneshot Storms is also excellent. I really admire how well this author does a kind of ensemble cast of characters

- Wiw has some great Creek fics, my faves being oneshots How To Not Manage a Store and Drillenisse

Orphaned/miscellaneous fics I love:

- non-con pastor Craig/imp Tweek oneshot Head’s A Crying Wasteland

- hilarious oneshot Boyfriends Close-Up with a Wide twAngle Lens Wearing Hats

multi-chapter unfinished You’re the Blood, I’m the Seed - past non-con & CSA - very heavy, but well worth it, as it is a fascinating and well-written and -characterized fic

- Talk Like Crab, Taste Like People - Tweek was adopted by crab people, like what more do you even need to know

- alright alright has 8 works w/ Craig and Tweek that are locked, but worth checking out if you have an AO3 account

- unfinished multi-chap Underground by leopharry is also locked, but I love this Craig. he feels v on the spectrum to me in a realistic way. boxer Tweek!

- demonhunter Tweek/reggo Craig oneshot spirits in my head and they won’t go

- oneshot do you like fish sticks by VagabondDiesel - not remotely shippy, but I love a psych ward setting and T+C both v well-characterized

sunflower yellow doesn’t even begin to describe you by xShieru

Intoxicated by IvoryWhiskers - from 2006!

shake off your flesh. by murkmurks - v different imp Tweek interpretation w/in a fascinating old south inspired setting

Parental Supervision by Enisy - Craig brings home a girl and Thomas Tucker is v confused

Monotony and Rhythm by X180

Feeling Strange and Looking Rotten (and also everything) by scarlettshazam

Overrated by Kafrazel

edit: ppl/fics I couldn’t find at the time/forgot due to brain of swiss cheese

- @thelotusflowers‘ whole body of work - my faves include gently (have read this like 5 times), The Short Film, how do you know if u r gay, and her amazing collab with @lexis-grey Glad You Came! Here is lotus’s AO3 - she also has much Cryle and Stenny

- the aforementioned LexisGrey and her wonderful fic Claws and Guns - it contains catboy Craig, so stop what you’re doing right now and go read it! - as well as her unique fake dating fic Fake it till you make it, and sweet soulmate AU oneshot The Symbol of Love

- @cityoffireflies writes a fantastic feisty Tweek and I recommend checking out everything, but my faves so far are the Two lives intertwined series, cute oneshot Dunk, rife-with-sexual-tension oneshot 7 Minutes in Heaven, and the fabulous slutty revenge Tweek fic that got me screaming in this author’s comment section, What If. The Tweek rarepairs, and Twomas, and other Thomas ships, and miscellaneous beloved blond boys from one-off episodes have never been better loved and cared for than in this author’s fics, and it’s a beautiful thing

damn expensive eggs - my fave fic is looseleaf and liquid fiction, also has a few fics w/ trans guy Tweek. I rec checking it all out

ripped open by 8inthemourning

rly love Out of This World (Babe) and this Creek Tumblr Prompts collection by scribespirare

cocoacremeandgays’ Three Sides series (quite dense w/ heavy subjects) and beautiful oneshot The Black '81 Ford Thunderbird

@hagspice‘s everything, including Your Mileage May Vary ft hot twunky baker Tweek, Let Me Entertain You, Impure Thoughts, and wonderful oneshot High Voltage ft. Craig bottoming for the first time

@otherluces‘ awesome band au fic He’s With the Band - also loved The Best Man. Please check out all the Luces fics - there’s beautiful Clenny 😭 Twoken fic w/ bg Creek Maybe This Time may be my fave

@alice-intheunderworld‘s The Bitch is Back - ghost Kenny, ghost Kenny!!! - (co-written with @jewboy-kahl, whose Head Over Heels I also loved), stoned CATG oneshot I’d Be Your Next Choice, Right?, and v cute flirty tattoo artist Tweek in oneshot Rocket Man('s Ass) - AO3 acct here

Plasma_gore(FanFictionIsMyWeakness) - I Want It To Hurt A Lot, Actually (amazing HS fic with unique, well-grounded characterizations. It feels extremely authentic to the high school/young adult experience, and is also the first time I’ve ever been like ‘Yeah, alright!’ about Staig, which is a side ship), as well as the sequel After Thunder Comes Rain (Please Don’t Let This Hurt Anymore.), and wonderfully filthy smut oneshot Sexcapades

the un-titled series by Aquaphobe - unresolved is the main work in the series and seems to be ongoing. A lot of deep, well-fleshed out Thomas going on here which I am always here for, and I love the way that trope where Thomas is kind of a device to cause jealousy in Tweek is given real grounding. Fascinating stuff going on w/ Kenny’s deaths and the unreliable narration as well

Really love Slowly, Thru a Vector (past ref’d CSA/non-con), and cute and funny oneshot tweek doesn't wanna make some real motherfucking money by Tweekpuncher

DoAsIWill has the great long multi-chapter The Roommate, but my fave is The Strength of Suction ft. Goth Tweek!

zombie fic Destroyer by sadboys. Was also v intrigued by As if I’d tell you. feel like these Tweeks are uniquely well-fleshed out and autonomous in so few words

Craig’s New Car by Pinkclip (also a great Kyle solo oneshot on there)

@englishknightsky’s sweet and cozy sickfic Get Well Soon, among other oneshots

UrsaMajorStories - love The Gods Watched Over us for a unique take on Incan Craig/explorer Tweek, as well as the locked hypnosis (!!!) smut fic Mesmerize Me

Shared Psychosis - interesting take on another character becoming aware of Kenny’s deaths, also ft. BPD Kenny and psych ward setting which I love

#south park #fic recs #sp creek #creek #tweek tweak #craig tucker #sp tweek #sp craig #shipping discourse

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