I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?
VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery
ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny
but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out
in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it
besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!
tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood
when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)
actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3
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Realizing that I went and wrote a bunch of intentionally aro relationships and my partner was like, "Idk, it seemed like normal relationships to me," and I was like, "I mean yeah it's not that different from ours, I guess, I was kind of going for 45° off from 'normal' romance," and they're like, "Okay, but ours is also pretty much like that," and I'm like, "Yeah, true," and now I'm like, damn hold up, are we both some kinda arospec and THIS is how we figure it out? Because I wrote a long-ass fic about intentionally queer-coded (among other things) robots? Life is weird, man.
Like I've been prone to extreme long-term crushes on a very few (mostly unattainable) people over the years, but I wouldn't have known what to do with them even if they worked out, and cough my ex was not even one of them. I just kind of assumed I was failing to feel a thing I was totally supposed to feel, there, and quite a lot of that relationship emotionally was me going, "Okay, I care like This, but I think I'm supposed to care like That? I'm pretty sure he cares That way. I'm not sure I do, but I mean, there's really only one way*, so maybe I'm just misreading this and actually I do care like That, I'm just bad at it."
*This was me being very incorrect, it turns out. There's all kinds of ways to love someone. It's a very inadequate and nonspecific word.
When I confessed my feelings (which I'd been sitting on for a year) to my partner, their reaction wasn't to be particularly romantic about it. In fact they told me they'd help me move to California if I wanted to. And after I got over my initial confusion of being kissed on the forehead (which is also not super romantic as a gesture and I couldn't decide how to even read that so I kinda skipped over even trying for a while), I was thinking, Awesome, that is a yes. They have promised to assist me with difficult stuff, and said nothing at all about emotions, because that's not a big deal anyway. The important thing is that I can rely on them and vice versa. Cool. We are basically together forever now. Which ended up being true. I just never moved out and now it's like 13 years later, go figure. But that's not what I think actually passes for reciprocating feelings for most people? Worked great for me though.
Anyway I feel like I have accidentally learned something about myself, lol. I guess romance is okay I guess, like it's not repulsive, but seriously, it's WAY more satisfying to me to guess someone else's Quiplash answer because you know they know you would think it's fucking funny, and you do, and because you think it's funny and you're well aware they know your type of humor and you know theirs and that you wouldn't expect them to use "cum" as an answer because that's not usually how they roll, so of course that is the only answer they can possibly give, which is instantly evident to both of you with no conversation whatsoever on the topic. When you got just one brain cell and it's quantum entangled with their just one brain cell so you have a lot of null discussions where nobody has to say anything but it's fully understood anyway, that's The Dream, if you ask me. And like I don't really think that's romantic by the usual definition. You can have that with friends and family, too. But that is what it turns out I prioritize in relationships, which I'm starting to feel like isn't what the majority of people are here for?
TFW it's hard to tell because I've been assuming I'm totally alloromantic so everything I experience must be typical totally alloromantic stuff too, but I'm starting to think it isn't maybe? But how do I even tell, this is like being colorblind, lmao.
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Thinking of Ravengard Ward AU where things proceed to the point of the events of the game with several results:
Levi, convinced by Gortash fighting off Bhaal is only possible with the Crown of Karsus and growing desperate with every day (as Bhaal pushes to control him with growing force), ventures into Mephistar to steal it from Mephistopheles.
While he is gone Ravengard goes to Elturel and, as Elturel falls to Avernus, descends there too. Duke's second son Wyll, an aspiring ranger, ventures into Hells alongside with counselor Florrick in a quest to find Ulder Ravengard. Levi returns from Mephistar to find all of his family gone. He wants to rush after them to Avernus, but Bhaal's hold on him is getting worse with everyday, and he's running out of time. He hopes his brother and Florrick know what they're doing.
With Ravengard missing and Florrick out of the city, Enver Gortash conspires to have proclaim the duke dead, making Leviathan Ravengard his heir and successor.
The Absolute Plan is set into motion, with only one god (Myrkul) involved. Levi and Gortash are forced to work with Ketheric bc the illithid colony is literally Under His House. Levi plans to betray the man and clean the shadow-cursed lands because this is what Jaheira and the harpers would have wanted. He when plans to use the newly gained with Absolute power to destroy Bhaal, Bane and Myrkul in one go. Gortash plans to obtain the power alike gods without any restrictions gods are forced under.
The first illithid-infected people start to appear. Jaheira and Minsc go to investigate, Minsc gets infected. Levi plans to use him as a leverage against Jaheira and Wyll if (then) they will disagree with his plans.
The incoming wedding of Duke Leviathan Ravengard and Lord Enver Gortash is announced. Lord Gortash is then going to be proclaimed the first Archduke of Baldur's Gate, with his husband's full support.
Wyll and Florrick meet Karlach and team up with her. Wyll is horrified to find out the guy who is dating his older brother sold Karlach to the deviless. Together they find Duke Ravengard and hijack the nautiloid.
The following (with all the in-game steps) events are:
Wyll and the team (Wyll is the leader) reach BG just in time to be informed of the passed wedding and the incoming inauguration of Lord Gortash.
They are horrified what has happened to the city in their absence. Ravengard, Wyll and Jaheira try to talk sense into Levi, Levi argues back what none of them know what it's like to have the God of Murder in their head all the time. What Bhaal was showing him more things these days, what he knows his destiny - he is a pureblood bhaalspawn, made out of Bhaal's dead flesh, he is destined to destroy the world. He is trying to convince them this is the only way he can do it, what this way he can destroy all gods for good, his Father included. What with the power the stones and Absolute gives them, he and Gortash can become new gods, can change the very rules of the universe - and wouldn't it be great?
The huge argument follows and Levi storms out, angry.
The next time they see him is at the inauguration, when, instead of proclaiming Gorash the new Archduke, Levi murders everyone but Gortash (who by this point is used to his husband's murder sprees and is successfully defended by Steel Watch) in the Hall.
Wyll and co walk into the Hall, expecting confrontation, but finding Levi in a pool of blood as Gortash tries to make him come out of the stupor.
Levi raises a desperate gaze at his brother and says: "Don't you see? It's getting worse. Bhaal is so angry. This is the only way. Why can't you see? Why no one but Enver can see it?!"
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Florida trip went well! For the actual purposes, my mom’s birthday, yeah no it went really great, it was wonderful
For my whole anxiety leading up to all of it, it went better than expected! The people I was most worried about didn’t say or do anything, but more than that I was able to have some candid conversations with my mom about trans stuff which was really nice, and I told my aunt I started hrt! She was the first person (outside immediate family) I came out to forever ago (cause her daughter, my cousin, also came as trans before I did) so I knew it would be totally fine, but still her reaction and support was still so kind and nice ❤️
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