#greasy covid
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This will always be funny
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enough girlboss, time for girlfailure
#been SOOOO stressed lately and the first thing i do when i pick the pen back up is continue on exchanges and commissions right? RIGHT?#no fuck you. transfemme ogata time.#golden kamuy#artfromthefrogs#transfem ogata#ogata hyakunosuke#gk ogata#i am unwell about her#PLEASE i nEED greasy transfemme ogata in her mothers stained kimono PLEASE it would be SOOOOO sexy#i hauve covid#i have a big hc that she still wears trousers and stuff but come on. mommy issues girl putting on mommy's clothes?#shhhhh im doing it for the NARRATIVE#golden kamuy fanart#gk fanart#frog portfolio
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🗣️🗣️ pov dan and phil base their pizza selection in part 2 of their iconic mukbang video on their hatred for the detroit pizza company that almost ruined your life
#validating my trauma???#yessir#no but actually when i tell you i went into shock when they showed the picture#i recognized it immediately#of ALL the pizza places in the world tho#lmao rlly just dumping in the tags#that fucking company#was the reason i was forced to move halfway across the country during covid lockdown at the start of high school#from a big city to a small conservative snobby suburb#like completely isolated from everyone and everything i knew#stuck w my only resource being my shitty toxic ass family#that’s in nice terms lmao#bc my dad got a job w them#that he DIDNT EVEN KEEP#already wasn’t the most mentally stable#so when i say it spiraled into complete mental health crisis like#nearly hospitalized (or maybe i technically was briefly idk??) almost didn’t finish high school etc etc#has taken years to try to come back from it#still barely even there yet#i mean obvi there were several factors but one of the biggest instigators was the move#and the reason for it?#that fucking pizza company#and yeah can confirm it’s greasy as shit and kind of nasty#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dapg#dan and phil games#dnpgames#pizza
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i got a video suggested to me called 'whos funnier family guy or south park' and i meant to screenshot it and say 'trick question: based on the type of humor these two shows go for, the answer to who is funniest is newgrounds flash animators of old'. thankfully, the video never got suggested to me again
#i will argue that both had a lot of home runs in jokes early on that to this day still get quoted#currently both are more unfunny than not#i keep up with south park every 3 years out of curiosity and the covid special/dinkinbaus stuff has more than paid off the remaining flops#the neverending tragedy of having characters with huge storytelling potential but focusing on dumbshit instead.#like remember how good the mysterion saga was a FUCKING decade ago. i member.#anyway ive been rewatching a lot of greasy tales/sexual lobster stuff on youtube. i got passion of the manwhore stuck in my head#as well as my mother in law is a scorpion. howcome fernandos a catboy now#sugar.txt#watching family guy#watching south park
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the woman on game changer who spent over $1000 in a month in grubhub sushi. I cannot understand her lifestyle but in this exact moment I envy her
#i haven't ordered food delivery except when i had covid years ago and at this point I've forgotten how it works#Im worried that the nausea will come back but I want teriyaki and greasy lo mein.....
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UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.
1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.
2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.
So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.
Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.
He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.
Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.
Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.
I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.
He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.
I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.
OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.
Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world
PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox
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HEARTBALM
Kyojuro x Reader (modern AU NSFW)
A/N: I have COVID brain fog and it shows. You legally can't hold how bad this is against me. But if you somehow like it, likes/reblogs/comments, always appreciated! I promise I'm saving Netherwood for when I've recovered lmao.
This is like a Frankenstein-fulfillment request of several of my 2K event requests. So if you asked for Kyojuro and any of the prompts involving “please let me cum in you” or “woah, woah, I’m here. I’m right here,” congrats! This is for you. I’m sorry it’s ass.
CW: angry/possessive Kyojuro • mentions of toxic/slightly verbally abusive ex boyfriend • ex boyfriend gets decked • explicit sexual content • breeding kink • creampies • car sex • MDNI.
Everything was too loud and too close. You swore you felt a dozen pairs of eyes burning holes into you with such intensity that you were surprised you were still standing, rather than folding over like a piece of Swiss cheese. The judgment in their gazes felt like a blade against your throat, the cold sting imploring you to fold, to disappear.
There was no air in your lungs, so before you could choke in front of all of your ex-boyfriend’s cronies and friends, you turned and did as cowards did; you ran.
You pushed and shoved your way through the thick crush of bodies that had gathered in this small, off-campus house for the last party of the semester, the last chance for them all to let loose before their lives became a flurry of final exams and papers and discarded coffee cups in dimply lit corners of the campus library. You’d thought it would be your chance to relax, too, after the hair-pulling stress that had been the last month and a half of your life. Stress, that had been expounded upon by the simpering, smarmy asshole you’d once called your boyfriend, who now stared after your retreating form with a vicious grin, apparently pleased to have gotten under his former girlfriend’s skin once more.
There was a buzzing beneath your skin that would not quiet, that seemed to only grow hotter and more incessant as you navigated the maze of bodies and tables set for beer pong in this labyrinth of college-aged debauchery. In the three minutes you’d been darting and ducking around what had to be half of the Ubayashiki University student body, you’d not seen a friendly or familiar face once.
Where was Kyojuro?
You needed to find your sun. You needed your kind, supportive, and steadfast best friend who’d been glued to your side ever since freshman orientation, when you’d shyly approached him and asked if you could eat lunch beside him, feeling too nervous to risk approaching anyone else. He’d laughed, warm and welcoming, as he made room at his table for you, welcoming you with such sincerity and kindness that it was no wonder that you and so many others were drawn to him.
And though Kyojuro treated almost everyone as though they’d been best friends for years, you had been the only one in your orientation group that he’d allowed to truly get to know him. Whether it was during a morning stroll through the campus green as you made your way to your early morning classes, or pressed up against the greasy wall of the grill as you waited for the fry cook to call out your orders, the walls Kyojuro had so carefully crafted to conceal the tempest of passion and fire that raged beneath his dazzling smiles and loud, booming laughs began to peel back, and you saw him for what he truly was.
Truthfully, the more he showed you, the more you wanted; he was a riddle you would never tire of working out, a puzzle you hoped never to solve, even as the pieces fell faster and faster into place.
As your circle of friends grew, your bond only strengthened. It was Kyojuro you called when you found out your beloved childhood dog passed away, hardly able to speak through the tears as they streamed down your face. It was Kyojuro who had all but sprinted from his residence hall to yours, well across campus, with three pints of your favorite ice cream in tow, and who’d let you eat your fill until your stomach was full and the emptiness in your heart had subsided.
And it was you who Kyojuro had called to come join him as he’d smoked a rare cigarette, hands shaking with both his hurt and his anger after a particularly nasty call from his father.
And yet, you’d never dated; you’d never escalated your friendship beyond a few, charged moments that had been marked only by a series of almost and never anything completed.
He wasn’t a fan of your ex-boyfriend; that much he’d made clear. Though Kyojuro had never been one to be unkind towards anyone, you hadn’t missed the way his eyes tightened any time your ex let a door slam in your face or ignored your hand in favor of his phone. Kyojuro hadn’t been shy to let you know that he thought you deserved better – far better.
You’d wanted to ask him whether he thought better was with him, because you knew deep in your heart, if he asked, you would be his; but you never built up the courage to ask, and so you quashed these feelings down deep, hiding them away in a locked chest never to be opened.
Then, you’d finally broken up with your ex only a month prior after discovering he’d cheated on you with no shortage of other students on campus, everyone but you apparently having been in on the cruel joke. Kyojuro had been one of the few steadfastly in your corner, insistent that you’d done nothing wrong, no matter how many times your ex tried to claim you’d pushed him into sleeping with half the student body.
You hadn’t seen your ex, not since you’d coolly told him the pair of you were over, all those weeks ago; not until tonight, when you’d nearly smashed into him while trying to get a drink from the makeshift bar in this strange house you’d never been in.
“Well, well,” your ex-boyfriend had crooned, hand gripping your elbow and keeping you trapped there with him and his smirking pack of hyenas looking at you like you were something to devour. “Did you miss me that much, gorgeous?”
“Get off me,” you’d tried to growl, though the slight wobble in your voice defeated any attempt of yours to be threatening, instead leaving you to come off as a scared little girl, cornered somewhere she shouldn’t have been.
Your ex’s eyes were malicious as they raked over you. “Did you wear that for me, darling?”
He was referring to the red sundress you’d worn, the one you knew made your curves look downright sumptuous, but now you felt like it was a neon sign that read “HARASS ME,” given the hunger in your ex’s eyes that sent your skin crawling. You’d worn it for yourself, to feel confident, only now, you felt like a piece of fruit ripe for plucking, and you’d somehow fallen into the greediest hands on campus.
By divine luck, your ex’s grip on your forearm loosened and you yanked back out of his reach, forgoing the red plastic cup containing whatever grotesque combination of alcohol the party hosts had come up with in favor of putting as much distance as possible between yourself and your ex.
You’d come with Kyojuro and your friend Tengen, but now you couldn’t find either and it only made you feel more lost; more vulnerable. There was a buzzing in your ears that drowned out the pounding base of the music thumping through the blown-out speakers haphazardly set up in the house’s den. Your vision tunneled, and you wondered whether anyone would notice if you dropped to the floor and screamed; if anyone would care.
Stumbling blindly, you smashed into something warm and sold, and it sent you staggering backward.
“Sorry, sorry,” you mumbled, eyes still wide and unfocused as you moved to push past whatever or whomever you’d smacked into, uncaring at the way your torment was surely etched into your face.
“Woah, hey, hey,” a warm hand closed around your arm as you tried to shove past the body, steadying you, locking you into place. “Y/N, look at me.”
The familiarity of the voice and the touch did not register, and you only continued to shake your head, muttering your apologies.
“Woah, woah, woah. I’m here. I’m right here.” Kyojuro caught you by the arm as you tried once more to shove past him in your haste the leave the party you’d stupidly decided to attend. A hand gripped your chin and firmly but gently turned your head up to meet a pair of ochre eyes, running over you in concern.
“Kyo,” you breathed in relief, feeling yourself melt slightly beneath the steadying warmth of your best friend.
Kyojuro’s mouth was set in a hard line. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
You uttered the name of your insufferable ex and Kyojuro’s eyes darkened. “What did he do?”
His hand gripped yours and you were grateful for the way it helped anchor you and kept you from spinning out under the anxious whirlwind of your thoughts. “Nothing, he’s just being an asshole – please, Kyo, can we leave?”
You felt slightly guilty – after all, it was you who’d suggested you all come to this party in the first place, and now you were the one wanting to leave less than an hour later, but it was too much. Surely, your best friend wouldn’t hold your fickleness so terribly against you, not when it wasn’t your fault in the first place that you’d been sent careening toward an anxiety attack.
Kyojuro didn’t hesitate as he nodded. “Just let me find Tengen and I’ll let him know. I’ll drive you home.”
You smiled faintly in relief, squeezing his hand appreciatively before letting him go. The way Kyojuro’s fingers had lingered against yours had made your heart flutter, chasing away thoughts of him, your ex, and replacing them with a shy curiosity that made you want to know what those fingers would feel like if they touched other parts of you.
Or, it may have been the little alcohol you’d ingested coloring your thoughts; after all, you’d hardly eaten that day in preparation for getting properly soused at the party you now were so desperate to leave.
You retreated into the kitchen, near the open door that led out to a finished, in-ground pool in which several other attendees were already swimming, some without clothes on, too lost in whatever beverage or drug they’d ingested to care. You’d thought yourself safe, amidst a crowd of admittedly drunk party-goers, but it seemed not even the threat of onlookers would keep your abrasive ex at bay.
A hand grazed your rear end, and it sent every hair on your body standing. “Why in such a rush to leave, gorgeous?” A sickeningly familiar voice purred in your ear.
You spat your ex’s name with as much vitriol as you could muster as you turned to face him. “I told you not to fucking touch me.”
Your ex placed a hand mockingly against the wall, next to your head as he leaned in close. “What’s wrong, baby?” His breath was rank with the stench of stale alcohol, and it made your stomach churn. “You used to like being manhandled.”
Your face hardened. “Not by you; not anymore.” You swatted his hand away from where he’d boxed you in, eager to put this party and him behind you, where they belonged. “Now, if you’ll excuse me –”
Your ex’s hand seized around your wrist, its grip tight – too tight. “Just hold on, you haughty little thing,” his tone was kept light but the look on his face was menacing. “I’m not finished with you yet.”
You pulled at the hold he had on you but to no avail. Though you were surrounded by other party attendees, you felt alone, more isolated than ever, as countless eyes pointedly ignored your struggle. You were about to open your mouth, to shout, to curse your ex out, when your ex’s hand suddenly released your arm.
“Take your fucking hands off of her.”
Wide-eyed, you looked to see Kyojuro’s considerable fist wrapped tightly around your ex’s forearm, its size dwarfing the limb beneath to look like a mere twig. Kyojuro’s eyes, normally so inviting and open, had gone hard and black, his jaw stiff with his ire. Though the cold rage contorting your best friend’s face was not directed at you, its sudden manifestation from your otherwise sunny, warm, and gentle friend made you recoil.
“Kyo,” you started, voice low in warning as your eyes darted between the lethal anger simmering on Kyojuro’s face and the infuriatingly smug look on your ex’s, as he smirked at the burly blonde.
“I don’t think this concerns you, Rengoku,” your former boyfriend simpered, a challenge lighting his eyes as he jerked his chin towards you. “This is between me and her, pure and simple.”
Desperately, you glanced around the room hoping to find any of your other friends who could step in, who could intervene before things turned too ugly. Mercifully, you locked eyes with Tengen, who was just on the other side of the pool, grabbing another drink. Eyes wide, you looked back and forth between Kyojuro and your silver-haired friend, hoping he understood your silent plea.
A curt nod from your friend communicated he had, and Tengen quickly began pushing through the throng of people who had begun to coalesce around the edge of the pool as they watched the pair of men engaged in a stare-off beside you.
Kyojuro raised his head slightly, looking down upon the man you used to claim to love in disgust. “Any yet she told you to leave her alone. Are we having listening problems?”
A sardonic smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Perhaps I can help you with that.”
Your ex’s eyes cut back to you, a sneer curling his lip. “Figures,” he spat, his tone full of acid. “Not even a month broken up and you’ve already spread your legs for him like a fuckin’ whore.”
There was a collective intake of breath from the surrounding spectators as Kyojuro stepped closer to your seething ex, their noses nearly touching as he held his stare.
“Say it again,” Kyojuro said quietly, all traces of that mocking smirk long-gone, replaced only by a malicious glint in his eyes that promised swift violence that had your hand jumping to grip his arm in warning. “Go on.”
Your weak tugs at Kyojuro’s bicep did little to divert his attention. For one, terrifying moment, you feared that blows were imminent, until a painted hand shoved between the two men, pushing Kyojuro back by his chest.
Tengen.
“As much as I hate to break up the fun, I’m sure you don’t want the entire school witnessing you getting your face pounded in,” The silver-haired senior said coolly to your drunk ex.
Kyojuro allowed himself to be pushed back by his friend, though he refused to break the tense stare he held with the man he’d marked as his opponent. “We can work this out anytime, it doesn’t have to be here,” he taunted with a jeering smirk. “But stay the fuck away from her.”
“Don’t try and fucking tell me how to talk to my ex-girlfriend,” your former lover spat, taking an unsteady step towards the three of you. “Why’re you standing up for the bitch, anyways? The whore has kept stringing you along for god knows how long without putting out –“
His drunken ramblings were cut off by a sickening crunch of bones beneath a fist that seemed to echo through the crowded backyard. Onlookers stared in shock as your ex staggered back, hands flying to staunch the crimson now coursing from his broken nose, curses thick and garbled slipping from his mouth as it filled with blood.
“Shit.” Tengen breathed, his eyes wide.
A dozen pair of eyes turned towards you and your best friend, round with shock as an uncomfortable buzz settled into the thick, night air. Kyojuro was panting, the skin of his knuckles stained with blood from his split skin and that of your ex’s as he stared at your flame-haired friend.
“I warned you,” Kyojuro’s tone was almost jovial but its cheerfulness was undercut by his glower. “Watch your fucking language when speaking about a lady.”
Your hand clenched at his bicep once more. “Kyojuro, let’s go.”
Your tone snapped him out of whatever cold rage in which he’d been simmering and his amber eyes lifted to meet yours. You did not wait for him to follow as you turned sharply on your heel and stormed out of the house, eyes resolutely focused on the door in order to avoid acknowledging the way dozens of pairs of eyes followed your every step.
---
Your feet hit the pavement of the street outside, the night air cool on your heated skin. You heard the steady beat of your friend’s footsteps behind you, and you whipped around, eyes blazing, and blood boiling.
“What the fuck was that?” You hissed once the two of you were far enough away from the party and any nosy on-lookers as you stalked toward Kyojuro’s car. “Were you trying to get yourself arrested?”
Kyojuro did not answer, the scowl on his face turning into something menacing beneath the flickering lamps lining the crowded street.
“I was handling it just fine, you know, but you had to step in and turn it into a fucking pissing contest –”
“Stop talking, Y/N.” Kyojuro finally snapped, his voice a low growl.
You only seethed. “Who the fuck do you think you are –?”
Your fiery companion only placed a hand firmly at the small of your back and pushed you forward, your feet nearly stumbling to keep yourself upright as he guided you towards your car.
“Kyojuro –” you began, testily.
“Shut up, Y/N.” He cut you off severely. “Just – be quiet and get in the fucking car.”
Something about his tone coupled with the stormy look on his face quieted any further protest you may have had, and you allowed him to forcefully guide you to his car. Kyojuro wrenched the door open and pushed you down into the passenger seat, even taking the time to fasten your seatbelt for you, the brush of his hand against your waist searing into you in a way that made you squirm.
As embarrassing as you found it, you could not deny that your friend’s protectiveness over you stoked something hot and molten in your gut; made your thighs rub together, as your stomach fluttered.
Kyojuro was silent as he drove, the air between you cackling with electricity.
“Have you calmed down?” You asked sarcastically after several minutes of tense silence, unable to stomach the quiet any longer.
Kyojuro’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. “I can’t believe you dated something like that,” he ground out, eyes fixed hard on the road ahead of him. “The way he spoke to you just now – that doesn’t come out of nowhere.”
You fidgeted in your seat, fingers playing with the band of the seatbelt as the weight of Kyojuro’s accusation settled.
“That wasn’t the first time, was it?”
Your shoulders curled inward, and you suddenly felt like a cornered animal; you resented him for it. “What does it matter, now? We’re done. It’s over, and I’m not going back.”
Kyojuro pulled sharply off an exit, following a bumpy road to a quiet, darkened overlook that abutted a state park. He stopped the car, slamming it into park as his hands remained tightly curled around the steering wheel, his breath hard and fast in his nose.
“Why did you date him?” His tone was almost accusatory. “He was an asshole from the start, and yet you dated him for almost a year.”
You bit your lip and Kyojuro’s eyes followed the movement closely. “Because I wasn’t sure of another’s feelings.”
Kyojuro exhaled sharply, turning his body more towards you, his eyes locked onto you with searing intensity. “And this other – did you ever confess your true feelings?”
You hesitated for only a moment, shaking your head slightly. You chanced lifting your gaze up to meet his, gulping slightly at the heat which you found there.
There was a beat, and then the two of you surged towards one another over the center console of his car, drawn to one another like a pair of magnets. Your mouths met in a fiery clash of lips and teeth, Kyojuro’s tongue sliding seamlessly into your mouth to dance with yours. His hand rose to tangle in your hare, ensnaring you against him and his fervid touch and desperate lips.
He moaned your name against feverish kisses, his lips only breaking from yours to dance across your jaw, your neck, any part of you he could reach.
He wasn’t close enough; you tugged at the collar of his button down, trying to pull him atop you, to feel if his chiseled body felt as rock-solid as you’d always imagined.
“You’re impatient,” he chuckled against your throat as he sucked his mark into your skin. “Do you want me to keep going?”
Your fingers, buried deep in his flame-colored hair, tugged, insistent. “Yes. Don’t you dare stop now.”
Warm hands gripped your waist and hauled you up out of your seat. Somehow, you were folded in just the right position to be passed over the console of his car, and Kyojuro swiftly tossed you into the back seat of his car. As you panted for breath, the skirt of your sundress rising high up your thighs, Kyojuro clambered over his own seat to join you, pinning you half between the backseat and the car door.
Before he reconnected your lips, Kyojuro’s hands found his way under you once more, deftly maneuvering you until it was he who sat against the backseat of his car, and you were straddled in his lap, chest heaving and cheeks pink.
“Was this your goal?” You teased, and to your delight, you felt something hard begin to press into your groin as your breath mixed with his, a slight fog beginning to condense on the windows. “To have me at your mercy?”
Kyojuro leaned up slightly, brushing his lips against the fluttering pulse point in your neck, smirking against your skin. “If you’re asking whether I took you out of the party with this in mind, then no,”
His hands smoothed up and down your sides before sliding behind you to squeeze your ass, rubbing firmly as he rolled his hips up into yours.
“But if you’re asking if I’ve planned to have you this way at all… then I would say,” he cut himself off as he kissed his way back to your lips, holding back the tantalizing feel of his mouth against yours for a fraction of a second. “That has always been my goal, beautiful. From the moment I first laid eyes on you.”
He kissed you softly then, teeth lightly nipping at your lower lip before he pulled away once more to look over you.
“But I want far more from you, if you’re willing to give it.”
Your heart fluttered in your throat as your legs clenched. You knew there were several meanings to his words — both in terms of the physical and with regard to your long-term relationship.
You settled on his lap, arms looping around his neck as your breath mixed with his, anticipation fluttering in your stomach.
“Kiss me, Kyo.” You whispered, your eyes lowering to his lips.
He regarded you with a half-lidded, lust-filled expression of his own. “Where?”
Your fingers wound in his hair, pulling softly in a way that made him moan. “Everywhere.”
Sturdy yet nimble fingers worked their way up to the buttons on the bodice of your sundress, undoing them with a swiftness you’d not realized he possessed.
The last button undone, Kyojuro brought his hands to the loosened folds of your sundress and pushed them aside, warm hands grazing the sensitive skin beneath.
“Christ, woman,” he groaned as your bare breasts were revealed to him. “You’re killing me.”
You giggled, inwardly glad you’d forsaken wearing a bra beneath the dress, though you certainly hadn’t intended to wind up like this — perched in your best friend’s lap, his growing bulge digging into the sensitive spot between your legs as he leaned in to take one pert nipple into his hot mouth, his hand covering the other breast and rolling it beneath his fingers.
Not a single part of you could bring yourself to regret the decision, however, not as Kyojuro’s teeth grazed your sensitive bud, your head falling back as you pressed your chest against his face, begging him for more.
Kyojuro moaned against your breast, his hand steadily working the other as he nipped and sucked at you, covering your chest in splotches of purple and red, your skin bearing the mark of his teeth as he claimed you.
You ground down against the rigid bulge nestled between your thighs, breath hitching as he pressed against that sensitive spot between your legs, causing a rush of your fluid to surge forth and coat the flimsy lace of your thong.
If you weren’t careful, you’d risk leaving evidence of your desire smeared right on the front seam of his pants. But if Kyojuro cared, he certainly didn’t show it as his free arm looped around your waist to push you down, forcing your groin to mash tightly against his.
Your hands moved desperately down Kyojuro’s front as his mouth continued to work your breasts, until they reached the top of his pants. You fumbled with his belt, determined to loosen it and free the hardened bulge straining against the crotch of his pants.
“You’re so,” Kyojuro panted, his hips twitching up against your touch. “Eager, my flame.”
Your ears perked at the affectionate nickname. “Your flame?” Your lips swept to the side to suck at the side of his neck.
Kyojuro’s head tilted to the side, allowing you more access as he pressed you harder into his face. “Yes, my flame,” he nipped lightly at your pert nipple, just as his fingers slid between your thighs to dance along the sensitive skin between your leg and hip. “Because you make me burn.”
His fingers grazed the front of your thong and Kyojuro groaned at the wetness he felt seeping through the thin lace.You nearly hissed at the contact, grinding yourself against his fingers, beseeching your best friend to give you more, to touch you where you needed him most.
“Kyo,” you whined, head falling back.
“Oh fuck,” Kyojuro slid two fingers beneath the crotch of your underwear, dragging them right up your drenched slit. “You’re wet — so fucking wet.”
“I just want to slide right in,” your friend teased, and his fingers easily breached your entrance, working deep into your opening as you mewled for him. “I bet you could take me just like this.”
His thumb brushed against your clit as his index and middle finger worked your core, making you stiffen stop him as your breath labored. Kyojuro swore again as he curled his fingers upward, feeling the way your velvet walls clenched around him.
“K-Kyo!” You gasped. “I can’t wait — I need you. Need you now.”
“Then I guess we agree,” Kyojuro growled against your lips as he shifted you beneath him. “Because I can’t wait to be inside you, either.”
Kyojuro spread you out beneath him, against the worn cloth of his backseat. He fumbled above you, trying to contort his large body in the small, cramped space of the back of his car.
His hands moved to loosen his belt and shove the tops of his pants and briefs down his hips, just far enough to let his leaking, stiffened cock spring forth, its tip smacking against his belly. Your mouth watered at the sight, at the thickness of his length, far more than you’d ever encountered before.
Kyojuro smirked at the awe on your face. “Trust I know how to use it, too.”
You flushed dark at the boldness with which he spoke, though your voice somehow remained steady. “Then prove it.”
Kyojuro covered you with a low growl, his hands flipping the skirt of your dress out of the way as his fingers slid your thong down your legs, chucking it to the side. He tugged you forward over the seat, a buckle of a seatbelt digging somewhat uncomfortably into your back, though that discomfort was quickly chased away as Kyojuro lined himself up with your entrance and pulled you sharply down, impaling you on his rigid length.
Your scream choked off in your throat as he shifted to press one leg up against the back rest of the seat and used his hands to hold your other open, keeping you spread wide for him. His thrusts were wild and frenzied, though his motions were somewhat limited by the spatial constraints of the backseat of his car. You didn’t care, however; not as his cock pistoned into you so deeply, you swore you saw stars; not as his coarse base ground against your sensitive clit, Kyojuro’s name falling in a repeated whine from your lips.
Kyojuro tried to brace his feet against the rear door for leverage for his thrusts, but each haphazard movement only caused him to grow more frustrated.
He tried to distract himself by pressing his lips bruisingly against yours, but it was not enough. Your flame-haired friend slammed his hand against the roof of his car in frustration.
“Fuck this,” he growled against your lips before he pulled out of you and away. You whined at the loss of his body heat, so warm and all-consuming. The ache between your legs had become nearly maddening as the empty walls of your core now clenched around nothing.
Even in the dark, Kyojuro’s eyes glowed, like pools of molten ore threatening to burn you with their heat as he reached blindly behind him and jerked on the handle of the car door, using his foot to kick it open.
He slid out, his stiffened cock still standing proudly above the loosened waistband of his pants as he rose to his full height. Reaching back into the car, Kyojuro wrapped his strong, warm hands around your knees and tugged you across the backseat toward him until your ass was on the edge of the seat, your legs dangling outside the door, toes just grazing the gravel below.
“Wrap your legs around me,” Kyojuro’s voice was harsh yet commanding, and your compliance was automatic. Your legs instantly wound around his waist, locking at the ankles against his lower back.
His hands then dipped below where you still lay against the worn seat of his car, splaying across your back. His grip secure, Kyojuro hauled you up and out of the back seat, his arms readjusting his hold as his hands came to rest under the skirt of your sundress, fingers kneading the fleshy curve of your ass.
You decided you’d gone far too long without his lips against yours, and so with a needy moan, you slanted her mouth back over his, sighing happily into him as his lips parted to allow your tongue to sweep in and glide alongside his.
So intoxicated were you by his kiss that you did not realize Kyojuro had walked you around to the front of his car, his headlights still beaming bright through the dark of the night air. A startled gasp broke your kiss at the warm press of metal against your back as Kyojuro laid you over the front hood of his car. Your cry of surprise did not seem to faze him, for Kyojuro only moved his lips to sweep across your neck with needy, open-mouthed kisses.
“Much better,” he grunted against your skin, his tongue flicking out against the hollow of your throat.
“K-Kyo!” You hissed, though you found it difficult to actually feel irritated toward the fiery blonde pressing you against the hood of his car – especially given the way his hips ground and bucked against yours. “We’re in the open!”
Kyojuro’s mouth pulled off your neck with a groan as he lifted his head to glare down at you as you panted and blushed beneath him. A hand reached between your bodies to grip the base of his cock, and your eyes nearly rolled back into your skull as you felt Kyojuro begin to drag the leaking head of his length up and down your slick folds, teasing.
“If I’m going to fuck you, I’m going to do it the way I want,” he warned, his voice roughened by raw desire. “I’m not letting myself be held back by a damn car seat.”
Any protestation or witty response you could have lobbed back at him died on your lips as Kyojuro pressed the tip of his cock firmly against your clit. Your head fell back against the hood of the car with a cry, your hips bucking up against his, begging him to take you and end the torment between your legs.
“I don’t want to hear a fucking word out of you that isn’t my name or how good my cock feels, got it?” Kyojuro bent low and took your nipple between his teeth, sucking at it harshly. “Answer me.”
A thumb and a forefinger replaced the head of Kyojuro’s erect length at your clit and squeezed once, in warning.
“Yes!” You yelped, your thighs tightening around his hips in a desperate but futile attempt to clench shut. “I understand – Kyo, please –”
Your begging was cut off with a scream as Kyojuro sheathed himself back into your dripping heat in a single, fluid stroke. Before you could catch your breath, Kyojuro began circling his hips, rolling them heavily against yours.
“That’s it, baby, just feel me,” He murmured, teeth grazing the sensitive shell of your ear. “God, you feel like fucking heaven.”
“Kyojuro,” you moaned, your eyes rolling heavily back into your skull. “Oh god, more –”
Kyojuro’s answering groans were loud and unrestrained, tempered only by the squeak of his car hood as he brought one knee up to rest upon it, bearing more of his weight down upon you as his thrusts grew harder and harder.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, his eyes shut tight. “Fuck, I can’t get enough, I need more –”
His hands gripped your hips with a bruising force as he tiled them further, tugging you flush against his groin with your backside nearly suspended above the car hood. Your moans melted into loud, high-pitched cries as you thrashed against the front of the car, the heels of your feet digging deeper into the steel of Kyojuro’s backside to press him closer, deeper into your velvet heat.
The new angle allowed Kyojuro’s cock to reach parts of you you hadn’t known could be explored, stretching you in ways you hadn’t realized could be stretched. How you’d managed to go so long without knowing the euphoric bliss that was Kyojuro’s body was a mystery you weren’t sure even the most revered philosopher could solve. All you knew, however, as the thick tip of Kyojuro’s cock pressed against something so deep within you it made your eyes roll back and your jaw slacken until drool leaked from the corner of your mouth, was that you could never have anyone else. No one would ever be capable of fucking you the way Kyojuro was right then, and you didn’t think you’d even allow them to try.
Despite your brain having been largely reduced to a puddle of gray matter in your skull with every lurid drag and push of Kyojuro’s cock into your soaked cunt, you forced your mouth to form a single, desperate command.
“More,” you begged, the word slurring off your tongue, breaking up the series of nonsensical babbles that had poured from your mouth the minute Kyojuro decided to mold your insides to the shape of him. “More.”
“Jesus fuck,” Kyojuro’s jaw was clenched tight enough to crack his teeth, sweat running down his neck and sliding between the mass of his pectorals.
Broad hands slid to the back of your thighs and pushed them up and back until your knees kissed the hood of his car. The new angle allowed Kyojuro to pound even deeper into you, though it simultaneously rendered you utterly helpless to accept the battering of his cock as it rammed so far into you, you swore he would bruise your organs before the night was over.
The new position meant that Kyojuro’s base was pressed flush against your clit, the coarse hair of his groin circling against your sensitive nub as your own slick gathered, making a mess between where the two of you were joined. The stimulation made your toes curl, even as your feet flopped helplessly against Kyojuro’s broad back.
Whatever coil you felt winding tight in your gut, Kyojuro felt gathering as well, given the whimpers and moans that lilted from his lips in strings, his lips working a frenzy against whatever part of you he could reach.
“P-please, Y/N,” his voice broke through the pleasured haze in which you’d found yourself floating as you plummeted back down to earth; to him. “Please let me cum in you. Please.”
“God fucking – please,” Kyojuro groaned, his voice cracking under the weight of his desperation. “I need to fill you. I need it, I need it.”
You didn’t doubt the sincerity of his need; the dull thwap of Kyojuro’s heavy balls against the underside of your ass made it clear your friend was pent up, and desperate to find his release. And that release wouldn’t be nearly as pleasurable if he was forced to waste it over your stomach or breasts as it would be if you allowed him to fill you to your brim.
The answer was easy. “Y-yes,” you found your voice after a moment, though it came out as more of a squeak. “Give it to me, Kyo, please!”
Kyojuro’s lascivious groans deepened, the sounds falling from his mouth more akin to shouts of pleasure. His pace quickened though his rhythm grew sloppier. Kyojuro brought the leg still anchored to the ground up onto the hood of the car and positioned himself in a kneel, spreading his thighs wide and allowing his hips to weigh down heavily against yours as he pinned you in place, rolling into your heat.
“Fill me up, make me yours!” You were babbling now, half-delirious with pleasure and over-stimulation as you felt your orgasm build, the tight coiling in your belly promising to unleash the most powerful climax you’d ever had. “N-no one else has – no one else has – ngh – finished inside!”
A warm hand slid up to your throat and squeezed lightly as Kyojuro’s hips snapped against yours, his groans quieting to mere vibrations in his chest. “Not even – fuck – him?”
You didn’t need to ask him to clarify. “Never!” You gasped, limbs turning to liquid against the light pressure he applied against the sides of your throat. “Only yours – only yours to f-fill!”
Your affirmation made Kyojuro shudder violently above you, and before you knew it, Kyojuro was spilling forth within your core, giving you every drop of his hot seed as his hips rolled heavily into yours.
A broad hand slid down from your throat to rest against the bottom of your stomach and pressed down.
“Take it,” Kyojuro somehow had the presence of mind to speak, even deep in the throes of his climax. “F-feel how much I’m filling you up – oh fuck.”
You could. The weight of his hand against your lower belly pressed your front wall against the spurting tip of his cock as he unloaded deep within your core. And it was precisely because of the way you could feel him painting the inside of your walls that you felt yourself tip over your edge, that coil in your belly not merely unwinding, but breaking wide open.
With a sharp cry, you came, a rush of your sticky pleasure spurting forth from you and soaking Kyojuro’s lower abdomen and groin as he continued to pump into you, every twist and churn of his base against your clit only prolonging the sweet, torturous pleasure you felt as you screamed for him.
Kyojuro’s high finally ceased, as did yours, but that did not stop your flame-haired friend from continuing to pump into you, as though chasing yet another dizzying high.
“Kyo,” your cry was shrill was your nails sunk into the ropey muscle of your best friend’s back, your teeth gritting against the flicker of overstimulation flaring to life as Kyojuro’s rough base continued to grind right against your clit.
“I’m sorry, my flame,” and to your shock, you noted the desperate whine in his tone. “I can’t stop, I need more – c-can’t stop –”
You felt his cum squelching over where you remained connected, its sticky warmth dribbling down your inner thighs as Kyojuro continued to plunge his still-erect length in and out of your full cunt.
“I want to get you pregnant,” Kyojuro confessed, his eyes burning as they flicked between where he appeared and disappeared inside you, to the way your tits bounced with each of his punishing thrusts, and back to your face. “I’ve been dreaming about it since I met you.”
“C-can’t tell you h-how many times I’ve imagined filling you with my seed until – fuck – you’re carrying my child.”
Some small, rational part of your brain genuinely did not know whether he was serious, and an even smaller part was baffled that you couldn’t find it within yourself to care one way or the other. The only reaction you gave him, instead, was a struggle of your legs against his grasp until he allowed you to wrap them around his hips to hold him close as he chased his second release of the night.
“Tell me you don’t want it, and I’ll pull out,” Kyojuro grunted, though, with the way he continued to thrust even harder into you, you doubted his ability to do so. “Just say the word.”
Admittedly, it was probably too late to worry about that, given that you could still feel the traces of his cum trickling out of you as he continued to ram his length into your spent core. But even if that ship hadn’t yet sailed, you knew you could not let him pull out; could never, not when he made you feel this good.
“Don’t you dare pull – ah – pull out,” you managed, legs tightening around his hips to keep him pinned against you. “I want it – I need it, Kyojuro. Give it to me.”
Your words were enough. With a strangled shout, Kyojuro came once more, his excess cum leaking out of your stuffed cunt, its hot stickiness trickling between your cheeks and pooling on the car hood beneath you, staining faded red with milky white. The cant of Kyojuro’s hips still did not cease as he continued fucking his seed right back into you, and you could do nothing but spread your thighs wider and accept it, mewling softly with your lips against his collarbone.
Kyojuro remained tense above you for several more seconds before he relaxed, his weight pressing you fully against the car hood as he collapsed against you. You both remained quiet for a moment, working to catch your breath.
“Are you alright?” your friend breathed after a moment, nuzzling your sweat-slickened neck affectionately.
You nodded, unable to stop the wide grin which formed on your face. “One would think you’d been waiting a long time to do that, Kyojuro,” you teased, arching your neck to expose more of your throat as his lips traced delicately across it.
“And if I have?” He murmured, pausing to suck lightly on the sensitive skin below your ear. “What would you say then?”
You threaded your fingers through unruly, golden hair and tugged lightly, pulling his face from the dip in your neck so that he would meet your eyes.
“I would say,” you began seriously, suppressing a giggle at the way Kyojuro’s eyebrows furrowed. “That you should probably take me home, then, because I’m not nearly done with you.”
Your fiery friend answered with a growl, low and deep in his chest as he rolled his hips into yours once more, his cock twitching back to life.
Instead of pressing you back against his car, Kyojuro instead flipped you to your stomach, your breasts smushing against the windshield of his car, the sweat clinging to your skin certain to leave behind a lewd outline of your body against the glass.
“You should probably buckle up then, my flame,” he said with a dark chuckle. “Because I’m afraid I can’t wait until I get you into my bed to have you yet again.”
#demon slayer#kyojuro rengoku#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#rengoku kny#rengoku kyojuro#kny x reader#kny fanfic#kny rengoku#kny kyojuro#kny smut#demon slayer smut#kyojuro rengoku x reader#rengoku#demon slayer rengoku#rengoku x reader
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Can you write a Choso x reader where he has a fever and reader takes care of him? At first he downplays it but then he gets clingy and all.
(Reader doesn't need to have any specific traits but do whatever you like)
Ty and have a great day <3
Fever [Choso Kamo]
Choso Kamo x Reader
A/N:I love Choso sm I want to smother him with so many kisses, and leave lipstick all over his face and neck. Anyway thank you sm for requesting this I love it sm 😭 thank you again sm! Sorry if it's too short :( also I got covid two weeks ago and god the fevers were the absolute worst. They had me crying too 😭😭
Request: Open! :)
It first started as a small sore throat in the morning. Choso tried to drink some water to wash off the sore throat but it didn't go away. Okay…
Then the constant sneezing. It isn't allergie season though…
And finally the fever.
Oh god the fever had him praying to whatever fucking God there was to help him. He groans as he lays on the bed. He grabbed all 3 blankets from the small storage room and lays down with all 3 of them, wrapping himself.
You were noticing all of this happening too. You had asked Choso if he was okay or if he needed anything but he would just say it's probably the dust that got him sneezing or that he was fine. But of course, you knew something was wrong. You were getting ready to go out with Yuki for some drinks when you heard a huge thump on the bed and looked. It was Choso.
“Are you sure you are okay?” You ask Choso, who was wrapped around with 3 blankets. “I'm fine, go and do what you need to do.” Choso said and buried his face in the blankets. His whole body felt cold, any slight movement made his body temple and cry.
“Choso you aren't okay, baby, what's wrong?” You ask. You knew how your boyfriend could be. He struggles with telling you what can be bothering him or when he's sick. “Just go out with Yuki, it's your girls night out.” He says, a bit muffled up from the blankets. You bite your lip and sigh. “Okay, but I'll be back. If you need anything please call me or text me, okay?” You say as you put your knees on the bed and get close to give him a kiss On his forehead but he stops you. “No.”
You raise an eyebrow and hold his hand, you pin it on the bed and take off all the blankets. You press the back of your hand to his forehead and pull away quickly. “You're burning up!” Choso looks away, his body aching even more now that he doesn't have the warmth of his blankets. “You have a fever, Choso.”
“I'm fine.” He says and takes your hand away from him. “It's just a small fever. It will go away.
“Small? Are you crazy?” You sigh and shake your head. “Look, I'll be back. I'm going to get you some medicine from the pharmacy.” You say as you get off him and Choso looks at you as he sees you change your pretty outfit to something more comfortable. You still had your makeup and hair done, which he found super cute. “Do you want me to bring anything to eat or you want me to make you something?” You ask as you put on your sweater.
“I'm okay [Name], please.” Choso says as he grabs the blankets again to cover his body up. “No, you're not. Please Choso, let me take care of you.” You say as you hold his hand. He sighs and turns to face the wall. You shake your head and walk out of the room. Choso hears the front door open and close. He closes his eyes as his body trembles.
His stomach growls and he groans. He didn't really want anything heavy or greasy. He has been craving one thing though. He grabs his phone as he opens his eyes and sends you a text.
Choso (9:10 PM)
Can you bring me some Miso soup?
From the place we like to go to
Please
My love (9:13 PM)
Okay I will
Anything else you want, baby?
I'm bringing ice cream to help with your fever as well
I love you ❤️
Choso (9:14)
I love you too 💜
Choso smiled as he looked at the text. He wished you could simply lay in bed with him so he could cuddle with you, feel your lips on his forehead and cheek, to feel your warm body against his own. He felt super touch starved. But he always is been touch starved. Even if you leave to go to The bathroom he feels upset to not have you against him.
And he won't admit that he also felt jealous. You go out with Yuki to drink or to eat. He just wants you all to himself. But he knows that you want to spend time with your friends. He knows you love him. He just misses you everyday.
He hears the front door open and he sits up. Choso lays back down as he hears the door to the bed open. “Okay, I brought you the soup.” You say as you place everything down on the small table that was in the middle of the room. You raise a brow as you look at Choso. “You want me to bring you a cold washcloth for your forehead?”
“I'm okay.” He says. “Okay. Here, take this medicine. It will calm down your fever.” You say as you place the pill on the nightstand and a glass of water. “I'll be right back okay. I'm going to the bathroom.” You say as you leave. Choso sighs and gets off from the bed. He grabs the pill and Glass of water and takes it.
He sits down on the pillow that was on the floor and covers his body with the blanket. He grabs the bag with his Miso soup in it and opens it. He sighs and waits for you to come back to the room.
He closes his eyes, feeling his body super exhausting. He suddenly feels a cold rag in his forehead causing him to jump. “Here. Now eat, you haven't eaten anything all day.” You say as you sit next to him. “Don't get too close.” he says.
“It's okay, I'll be fine.” You say and stand up. You grab a hair brush and sit on the bed behind him. “You were busy avoiding me all day, you forgot to brush your hair.” You say as you brush his hair.
He couldn't stand it anymore and just let you run your hand through his hair. He lets out a sigh of relief as the fever starts to calm down, his body no longer crying from the pain. He soon is done eating his soup and crawls on to the bed and lays on top of you. You chuckled and ran your hands through his hair. “Though you said to stay away?”
“I can't stand it anymore. I miss you.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck “I'll take care of you next.” You shake your head and wrap your arms around him. “You're heavy, baby.” You say and Choso rolls off from you. His back pressed on your chest as he went into a ball and felt your lips on his neck, causing him to shiver. “I love you.” You whisper. “Also, you are acting like a baby.” You giggled. Choso didn't care though. He just wanted you close to him. “Don't go out with Yuki this week.”
“why?” you raise a brow. “Just stay with me this week. Please?” He turns to look at you and you nod. “Okay.”
Who can say no to such a beautiful man like him?
And three days later you ended up with the same fever. Your body ached as you wore a hoodie, sweats, and three blankets on you. Choso of course, Being the best boyfriend he is, took care of you very well. But Choso simply couldn't leave you alone no matter how many times you told him he could get the fever again.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#fanfiction asks#ask#request#choso kamo#jjk choso#choso x reader#choso x you#jujutsu kaisen choso#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo x y/n#choso kamo x you#choso kamo jjk
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“˚₊‧ UNLUCKY ENCOUNTER ‧₊˚ ”
Yan!Loser oc x Reader
Synopsis — some call it a coincidence, some say it's fate, but I say it's absolute utter fucking, bullshit.
—
—
"I'm sorry."
The other line hangs up, the irrational telephone beep ringing against your ear as you genuinely start feeling the symptoms of hysteria bubbling up your chest and clamming up your breathing. At this point you definitely wouldn't say no to a fucking lobotomy.
This week has been feeling like the universe is actively trying to kill you off, like as if already getting coffee spilled on you wasn't bad enough; You, in this modern age and time having to use the telephone because your phone was snatched, along with your favorite handbag, containing the newly expensive perfume you brought still half full, and then just now your partner of 2 years breaks up with you after you asked them for help because you tripped on a rock, resulting on a sprained ankle and having to distressingly limp all the way to the phone booth.
Coincidence? Yeah, I think not. Just before this hell week was 3 days after your best friend ditched you for her new boyfriend, 4 days after you fucked up an important exam, and A WEEK after you befriended that jackass freak at school. Losing a few people here and there was to be expected but, c'mon! Isn't this just a new form of torture? You're sure that he was the one that caused all this, who else is to blame!? Maybe the rumor that said he must have all that hair to hide the dent he got when he was dropped as a baby was true, I mean. He probably performed some dark sorcery on you for whatever reason.. or maybe he's a sick masochist that fucks over people who don't treat him like an accused witch during the Salem Witch Trials. — Seriously, it was as if the universe's will to make that mfs life a living hell has rubbed off on you. But you know what, yeah.. It's fine, you can live with this.
Or not. Your alarm blaring for you to awaken gladly disturbs your nightmarish slumber, this is the 3rd time. The THIRD TIME! You've dreamt about him. — of that freak that brought you to your misery, who knows, what if dreaming about him more then once was some sort of bad omen? The 3rd time being on the first day of the week nonetheless. Of course the birds are extra chirper, you thought that maybe they're basking on your torment, if they were, you hope stray bullets manages to shoot all of them dead because we aren't having that kind of bullshit today. — You have finally devised a plan to avoid Satan's reincarnate for the rest of the school year as if they were carrying a covid variant. Finally getting that horrendous goblin off your back would feel like it's the second coming of Christ, and you're not about to let any twinks get in the way of living your life free from any agony inducing minger either.
You manage to find the will to exist. Entering the gates of your school muttering prayers to God, and whatever other deity that’s listening, to please not let you set sights of his probably-smells-like-cheese, greasy ass hair, the overgrown bangs covering ⅔ of his hazel eyes that always seemed to bother you, he even has those weird Incel glasses on.. maybe that one rumor that said he had some sort of eye fungus just makes this all more oddly debatable. You wander through the empty hallways, not seeing a single student kinda unsettles you. — makes sense though, It's pretty early, and you've never seen him around this time so, the coast is clear, for now, or so you thought. — You were approaching the rows of vending machines all pushed up against the back of the building when you caught a glimpse of a silhouette you're all too familiar with, he seems to be sketching something, not that you totally cared for whatever it was. You shrug, but when you were about to turn to leave he gets up and walks towards the boys bathroom, leaving his precious notebook unattended, out in the open, where anyone could take a peak... Just a little peak, alright? You tiptoed, walking towards it in longer strides to minimize your footsteps, upon getting closer, you notice the front page already wide open, as if he purposely left it like that, — that should've been the first red flag. Because inspecting it a little further made your jaw slack, the thing he was sketching.. was you. "What the fuck, I look amazing." You mutter, it's a little creepy but you're flattered with the way he straight up beautified you, admiring it for a little longer then you should've had was a mistake though, because just when you took your eyes off of the notebook, you see him literally lurking and hiding behind the bathroom's entrance. He's wide-eyed, and a huge creepy grin plastered on his face. — Genuinely scaring the flattery out of you and making you bolt straight to the opposite direction on instinct, the way he looked at you literally triggered your flight or fight. The sound of your fast footsteps filled the hallways, your heart going pitter-patter, quite literally about to burst out your chest. Fuck. Just your luck. Guess this won't be an easy day to get through.
Morning lectures are finally over. Which means you can finally celebrate the fact that you pushed through and made it to lunchtime! It was still agonizing nonetheless, waiting around corners to let him pass kind of felt like you're stalking him, can't say that you didn't get any weird looks either. The worse part was definitely him searching and skimming through the halls, asking everyone for your whereabouts, half of them made themselves look busy so he wouldn't approach them, and the other half straight up ran the opposite direction as if he threatened to bite their toes or something. Weirdly enough, most of them ended up slipping on wet floor, which just further gives in to your suspicion of him practicing dark sorcery. Anyways, you're proud of the little progress you made, and that's all that matters for now.
—
—
Lucian sits alone, his table is tucked away in the very corners of the cafeteria, no one even daring to glance at his direction, he used to typically eat in the bathrooms but nobody wants him in their presence to the point that they all stand up and leave when he approaches a table. — there's just this weird air surrounding the dude that automatically repels people away, and no it's not body oder dammit! He just gets greasy fast, and probably for threatening to unalive a teacher but that isn't important! The love of his life is avoiding him! He chews on his fingernails as he ponders, possible reasons fill his head, and they aren't very good ones. — Did someone make you do this? Is there someone else...? That surely can't be. That's just cheating isn't it? You love him after all! He saw the glint in your eyes when you looked at the portrait he drew of you. He could even show you his shrine! Made just for you, containing such precious things you lost! — His excessive chewing of his fingernails grow desperate to the point of drawing blood, he grimaces at the sight of crimson streaks, wiping it on the sleeves of his hoodie. — it just can't be. Why would you do him wrongly like this? You smiled at him, you laughed with him instead of AT him, you sat together.. So why!? Are you gonna leave him like his mother did..? Was that all a joke to you..? He just couldn't accept this, you aren't that kind of person! You know what, he finally snaps. he just has to hear an answer from you. — "He's right behind me, isn't he?" The person right Infront of you nods, and immediately scurries away. At this point you're frozen in place, what the fuck do you do? Just make a run for it? "Can we please talk..?" He speaks behind you, his hand is on your shoulder. You swallow, the remaining bits of your conscience crumbling as you fucking make a run for it, aggressive footsteps follow behind and you realize HE'S CHASING AFTER YOU. You have never let out such a gut wrenching scream than what you just did in this exact moment. — You hide behind a wall, thinking you've lost him. Not until a hand grabs onto your arm.
—
—
He caught you. He has you pinned against the wall, not in a shoujo cutsy romantic way, he looks as if he's a starved vampire about to chomp on your neck, and not in a good way. Just no fucking way this scrawny mf outran you. Another 'unfortunately' for you too, the Gods did not answer your prayers. You're trapped in between the arms of the man you swore to avoid like the plague for the rest of the school year, this was definitely not on your 2024 bingo list. You didn't even last till' the end of the day and that lowkey hurts your pride. — But holy smokes, they say that you experience something new everyday, and this is the first time you've seen him up close, messy bedroom hair, teary eyes that looked like he hasn't slept since the first star wars movie came out. Wowza. If he actually made an effort, or if he didn't have such unsettling vibes, you can't lie, he'd be a revelation hottie. — ... Shit. Not the time to be thinking about his potential glow up. �� Poor guy, watching him trying to maintain eye contact but just failing horribly is kinda cute.
......
......
......
The fuck? Your face scrunches up just after you snap back out of, whatever that was. Seriously.. say WHAT now? That was a demon possession right there, you need to stop acting as if his existence didn't just cause your downfall unprovoked. "You're avoiding me.." His voice disrupts the silent war you were having with yourself. It sounded meek, he genuinely looked like a shivering wet dog, with those.. tears boiling up his eyes, and.. quivering lips. Fuck. What if you'd just slide down his arms and escape? Hell no, if someone walked in they'd think you were giving him a blowjob and that's honestly worse then whatever's going on right now. "A-Answer me!" He yells(?) hesitantly, the dude genuinely looks like he's about to burst into tears any minute, you're surprised how he somehow grew the balls to yell at you though. "Okay, dude I'm sorry..?" — It's sad how he goes ballistic over a 'friendship' that lasted a week, but he did show you the list of student names he wanted to glock, and you listened to some of his nerdy ramblings, so you guess he did cherish your short time together even if you gave him absolutely zero fucks. — he goes completely quiet for a minute before he finally bursts out crying, fat tears are running through his acne filled face as he drops to the ground. "I really just wanted a someone-" He says in-between hiccups, he's crying as if you killed his mom or something. You decided to just wait it out until he grew tired but his wails started growing louder till' you were forced to crouch down and comfort him. "H-hey, uhm.." Fuck. Screw it. You know what, Who cares if your life starts crashing down, it already was unsalvageable from the very beginning anyway. Everyone needs a friend and you're too nice for this. You finally give in, breathing in a sigh of defeat. "How can I fix this?" His cries shimmer down and you swear to fucking God you think you just saw him flash a smirk. This bitch looks like he's bout to spit out the most outta pocket bullshit. — and he indeed did not disappoint. The two unexpected words coming out of his mouth just further inspires you to jump off a bridge. "d-date.. me."
......
......
......
Maybe hiring a hitman on yourself wouldn't be so bad.
#yandere#yandere oc#yandere x reader#yandere loser x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere imagines#yandere original character
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rdr2 head canons about modern technology, social media, etc-
dutch is convinced the 5G is ruining our brains, covid vaccines are just microchips, all the right wing conspiracy theories are correct. he owns a flip phone and uses t9 word to communicate. texts that arthur and john receive look like this “COME HOME SON. ND 2 TLK ABT PLAN. DO NOT REPLY”
hosea has an ipad, a kindle, a laptop, a home PC, and alexa echo, an amazon fire tv, a smart fridge, etc. he is actually one of those old guys who accidentally went viral one time on tiktok and he has a loyal following
the video that went viral was jack recording the fight that broke out in camp between hosea and bill. that video got over 1 million views and everyone loved it
jack helped hosea make his own tiktok account and he immediately gained followers overnight
arthur is the “hot son” who doesn’t like to be on hosea’s tiktoks. arthur always turns his back when hosea tries to include him in the videos
john is the other son that actually wants to be on camera but Half of hosea’s comments are “where’s the hot cowboy, we don’t want the greasy one”
sean pretends to be a twitch streamer and only plays truck simulator or untitled goose game. he has about 300 viewers and he gets money just because of his accent
charles has a facebook but it hasn’t been updated since 2009. his profile picture is a stock photo he found online of a bison with one of those BLM frames around it. his youtube recommendations are just asmr pottery making videos
bill gets into fights on reddit constantly. moderators have banned him from almost every subreddit he has joined, except for two sentence horror stories. he loves that subreddit too much so he leaves it alone
lenny has 76 unopened text messages from the last 6 months. his gmail account has over 20k emails
trelawny loves snapchat. he loves a multi part snapchat story rant from the inside of his tesla, while he is wearing the cat ears filters. he sets the tesla to auto pilot so he can use both his hands to speak and record and animate the retelling of the “bullshit from the starbucks drive thru”
javier is strictly android
tilly is strictly apple
kieran got a hand me down blackberry phone and still uses it to this day. no one understands how it still works
ok well that’s it
bye
#arthur morgan#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#rdr 2#dutch van der linde#john marston#hosea matthews#bill williamson#josiah trelawny
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so in the video "How To Get 1,000,000x Hotter", Jackie goes with the "look awful" solution
these included: greasy looking hair, tired/under eye shadows, random tattoos (she draws on tattoos like anthony's), stubble, a layer of sweat, etc.
and lemme tell ya, damien took notes
"he looks like he's running a low grade fever at all times" this was when he last had covid lmao
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Twitter will help spread misinformation: As we head into an election year, Elon Musk has turned off all of Twitter’s filters for stopping propaganda and genocidal hate speech. Because “free speech”
Dmitry Medvedev, a leading government official and former president of Russia, took to Twitter earlier this month to denigrate Ukraine in a post using language reminiscent of genocidal regimes.
And Twitter didn't stop him.
In his 645-word tweet titled, "WHY WILL UKRAINE DISAPPEAR? BECAUSE NOBODY NEEDS IT," Medvedev called Ukraine a "Nazi regime," "blood-sucking parasites" and "a threadbare quilt, torn, shaggy, and greasy."
The post garnered more than 7,000 retweets and 11,000 likes.
One response, though, asked Twitter CEO Elon Musk why he allowed Russian officials to broadcast tweets like this, especially when they used language often associated with genocide.
"All news is to some degree propaganda," Musk responded. "Let people decide for themselves."
Twitter applies "visibility filtering rules" to certain accounts to make sure less eyeballs see those accounts' tweets.
In the past, the company's Trust and Safety Team has used them for Russian government accounts and state-affiliated media accounts from countries "that limit access to free information." Medvedev's account was included in that cohort, according to the former employee.
Without visibility filtering, these accounts can now be more easily amplified and reach a much wider global audience. The implications could mean an increase of pro-government propaganda across Twitter and lead to real-life consequences for people who disagree with the authorities.
Taking the restraints off state-affiliated media accounts could also lead to more general disinformation on Twitter, said Sarah Cook, a senior advisor at the nonprofit Freedom House who researches China, Hong Kong and Taiwan and authored the report Beijing's Global Megaphone.
"It's not just about making the Chinese Communist Party look good. It's not just about making activists or Hong Kong-ers look bad," Cook said. "In some cases, it's also about spreading disinformation about COVID or sowing divisions within Taiwan or the United States."
👉🏿 https://www.kuow.org/stories/twitter-once-muzzled-russian-and-chinese-state-propaganda-that-s-over-now
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"the gun on the kitchen table"
i understand that you patiently waited twelve years for a child, then, another sixteen for the moment fathers commonly dread. you held a vision of cleaning your .22 caliber at the table as i, eager for junior prom, towed a nervous boy toward the kitchen. did you see him with a leather jacket, palms greasy with hair gel and smushed nerves? or, did you simply ignore these things i quietly stowed in the cart at the store? covid stole my junior prom and no nervous boy ever rang your doorbell. rather, shy girls with glasses too large for their faces and in possession of meek attitudes alike your wife's followed me to my bedroom and shrunk beneath my bedsheets when you would storm the halls.
you wished so desperately for a proper boy: dressed in crisp loafers, a working boy who arrived at your door only occasionally bearing kinney's dyed flowers alongside a promise to return me by sundown. only a boy who would not treat me better than you would be suitable until you came to wish so desperately for any boy, any boy at all.
at fourteen, you observed me giddy and determined that you must seize my social media passcodes; at fourteen, i learned that i cannot expect absolution for my fascination with the same sex. your rage sapped my senses; you pulled any form of communication from my grasp and threatened to drive me straight back to the psychiatric ward. you could only ever love the girl dating the nervous boy that eyes the kitchen table.
i emptied your wallet, lined my eyes and burned for a week until you became convinced of my newfound lie: i had been a mere participant of a schoolwide fad of sexual exploration, i was not a lesbian. i knew i would never see the return of my electronics had i remained honest: my only links to a world outside of this house.
i am not healthy. everyone in this house is sick. you dragged homophobia home, tossing it aside next to your winter coat, and are enraged that everyone has prodded at it, that we have all contaminated each other. you said that gay people scare you, that the man who tugged at your belt loops when you were a boy scared you. you could only ever love the girl who sold her combat boots and burned the porn script she wrote in the backyard, her backbone as a match.
i feared that i would become nothing more than another nameless face had you one day decided that sharp insults and taunts were no longer enough to combat my queerness, that you must reclaim the things you always said were never mine and leave me to the barren streets. your religion kept me from calling the girls i locked behind my bedroom door by their names, by anything other than, “friend.” some day, i asked you where in the bible jesus said to hit your kids. memories of the bike lock that had appeared on the fridge on some day, early summer, and the belts you had named reminded me to hide; they were only a few bedrooms and a drawer away.
one day soon, you will find the words you require written at the bottom of a twelve-pack and ask me again about the shy girls i cried for over your honeymoon wine. i hope that your snapple cap fortune arrives late, once i have dragged my suitcase to san francisco and gotten over all attempts to force myself to give you a reason to dust off the gun cleaner; once you no longer have anything left to hold over my head: summer housing, medical insurance, nor your acceptance. press, “play” to start.
we always eyed the gun on the kitchen table.
#queer writers#women writers#writers on tumblr#grungyteens#poetry#grungy aesthetic#grunge#poets on tumblr#journal#female poets#poem#writers and poets#the tortured poets department#original poem#love poems#poetic#short poem#prose#words words words#poems on tumblr#poems and poetry#love poem#romantic poets#poetrycommunity#poems#poems and quotes#poemsbyme#spilled poetry#poetry blog#spilled thoughts
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random. what kind of hair would rafe have after autumn is born? i feel like he doesn’t keep up with the buzz cut that much after she is born lol
back to greasy bangs or drew’s hair during covid, just overall a lot longer 🤭 at least for the first year of the kid’s life cause it’s just chaotic and they’re first time parents, they’re still learning time management 🥺
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arkhamverse riddler 100% also has voice dysphoria considering all the audio distortion she puts in her voice transmissions. also and honestly just so much of her i could make a list. unfortunately i don't think transitioning would be enough to fix even 27% of her various issues but she should do it anyways.
could you imagine if we got greasy mechanic arkham knight tgirl riddler. i think i hauve covid
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I hope this isnt a weird ask. But I know you said you don't use products in your hair but what shampoo or conditioners do you use to keep it fluffy??
i don't use a conditioner and I wash my hair with some hemp shampoo like 2-3 times a week (I scaled back and went natural in COVID so it doesn't get nearly as greasy as fast
#not an art#It rly is just very thick and stands up on its own all I do is sleep on it#I don't use a conditioner BC it's often so short I don't see the point
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