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free--therapy · 3 years ago

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How to be Happy: 63 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Happier

Almost everyone loves being happy (and sometimes we desperately need to be happier). With that in mind, here’s a roundup of scientifically proven ways to increase your happiness.

Most of the 63 ideas below are scientifically vetted (studies are provided via links), but if you still need a reason to read this article, point #41 might just help your sex life.

Before getting to recommendations about how to be happy, here’s an interesting happiness finding: in addition to making us feel good, happiness actually makes us more successful.

This article in the Harvard Business Review cites studies showing that physicians in a positive mood will diagnose 50% quicker and have three times more intellectual flexibility; students do better on tests when they’re happier; and even 4-year-olds asked to put LEGOS together will do so 50% faster, more accurately, if they’re slightly primed to be positive.

And — I feel like an 80s infomercial now — there’s more! … According to this Harvard study, being optimistic can reduce your chance of a heart attack by up to 50%.

How to be happy:

See the positive

Researchers have found that we’re happier when we see the positive. This doesn’t mean we live in a dream world where we don’t see problems. It means we notice the positive. The good news is that we can train our brains. over time, to more often see the positive.

Here’s how:

1 – Give compliments. I know you can find at least one person to compliment every day. Maybe it’s your spouse for making breakfast, the barista you saw doing a great job, a colleague who did solid work. Give at least one compliment a day. Perhaps you begin each morning by sending a short email or text telling someone why you appreciate them.

You’re training your mind to notice more of the good things happening around you, which increases your own positivity and happiness.

2 – Start keeping a gratitude journal. Write down three things you’re thankful for at the end of each day. Dr. Robert A. Emmons and Michael McCullough’s research found that people who kept a gratitude journal were 25% happier.

3 – Start a family thankfulness tradition. A great idea I picked up from Ronald McDonald Camp is having a nightly family discussion about what we’re thankful for that happened that day. This encourages children to think about their good fortune and what makes them happy. It’s a way to have a verbal gratitude journal. 4 – Perform at least one act of kindness daily. As you start performing acts of kindness, you’ll notice more and more opportunities to be kind. A study from Michael Steger showed that kind acts increase happiness, and performing kind acts starts shifting our mindset to a more positive outlook.

As far as acts of kindness go, think small. A “thank you note” in your spouse’s lunch, an email to one of your kid’s amazing teachers, etc. To get you started, here are over 100 easy, meaningful acts of kindness, and here are 25 random acts of kindness for kids.

Understand what (and who) makes you happy and unhappy

5 – Keep a journal and record what makes you happy as well as what makes you unhappy. I thought I knew what made me happy and unhappy – and I did to an extent – but when I started recording it, I became much more aware of what I should incorporate more of and less of into my life. 6 – Flow. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi led pioneering research on flow, noting that lasting pleasure and satisfaction comes from activities that bring about a state of “flow”, a state where we’re fully engaged in an activity that is easy, rewarding and occupies our minds completely. Something that makes everything else fade away. For me it’s playing softball. For others it might be meditation.

Your journal might uncover some flow opportunities. Spend more time on them. They’re a lasting boost that clears your mind and raises your overall happiness level long after the activity has been completed.

7 – Keep the right company. Write down the three people you hang out with the most. Next to each person’s name write their qualities. When you’re done, continue reading…Do you want to be like these people? We’re most heavily influenced by the people we hang out with the most. This large-scale study shows, that being around happy people will make you happier. And, of course, if you’re around negative people, it will make you more negative.

How to be happy? Have the right perspective

8 – Don’t compare yourself to others. Multiple studies show that social media causes unhappiness. Why? Because you’re comparing your real life to everyone else’s highlight reel.

I try to remind myself that I can’t assume anyone has it better, because I don’t know their lives or their problems.

Focus on you. What would be great for you? And, what can you do to get there?

9 – Help other people. I’ve always believed that helping others makes us happier, and now I’ve got scientific proof (By the way, even helping people at work makes you happier, according to this University of Wisconsin Madison study). Instead of focusing on your own problems, you’re helping someone else and empowering yourself in the process. 10 – Volunteer Along the lines of helping others, volunteering allows you to put your problems in perspective. When you’re volunteering in a soup kitchen or hospital your work problems or piles of dirty laundry seem a lot smaller. Sometimes even small doses of volunteering can have a positive impact for weeks or months. (Click here for a study on the benefits of volunteering on happiness)Scientific studies demonstrate that being in the moment – even for short periods of time — is one of the best ways to be happy. I find it difficult. I’ll be working and thinking about other things or doing something else while work thoughts pop into my head. But, I’m almost always in the moment when I’m volunteering. My mind is clear, and I’m relaxed.

11 – Spend money on others A study by Harvard Business School and University of British Columbia professors found that once you’ve pulled yourself out of poverty, spending money on other people gives you more joy than spending money on yourself. They found that even minimal amounts make a difference. Try buying small gifts for friends and the people you love. (This fall under the category of how to be happy and how to make other people happy.)Or, make a small donation. Hilde Back’s monthly $15 donations wound up having a life changing impact on over 350 children.

12 – Give people the benefit of the doubt This is another suggestion that’s easier said than done, but still worth trying…Instead of getting frustrated with someone, try having compassion.

If someone is rude, I think to myself that the person is probably having an awful day, and I remind myself how lucky I am not to be him (and not to be rude).Also, be careful about judging people. My cousin’s friend Meg was an investment banker. This is a competitive field that isn’t especially friendly to women. Yet, Meg made it to the executive level. She also had Cystic Fibrosis, which made it difficult for her to walk long distances. Although she looked healthy, she had a significant disability and was allowed to park in handicapped parking. When she parked there she often got screamed at by people who thought she shouldn’t be using a handicap space. The people screaming were unhappy and of course, it was awful for Meg and unfair to her too. She felt so bad that even though she fought her way to the top in her career, she decided to stop parking in a handicap spot. Save yourself and someone else anguish by being slow to judge.

13 – Remember, You’re not a mind reader. This goes along with the prior suggestion. Don’t interpret someone’s actions as a slight. If you don’t know what someone meant assume the best or ask them to explain.

14 – Forgive. Holding a grudge only makes you feel bad. Don’t let someone who has treated you poorly have the power to take away your joy. (Of course, this is way easier said than done.) 15 – Give to yourself. Make time for you, your education and your health. We’re happier when we don’t forget to take care of ourselves.

Filmmaker Andy Sullivan visited my class and pushed all of my students to carve out 15 minutes a day to pursue a passion or something that would get them ahead. This resonated with my class and was embraced by almost every student. If we don’t invest in ourselves, who will! . . . And almost everyone can spare 15 minutes a day.

16 – Forgive yourself. At one point I was upset about a decision I had made, and I thought about it daily. Finally, I spoke to someone about it. After a while, the person asked, “What advice would you give to a friend, if she came to you with this problem?”

I replied, “I would tell her she didn’t do anything morally wrong. She just made a mistake and it’s not a big deal. She should move forward.” Then it dawned on me: I had to do the same. We tend to be harder on ourselves than we’d be on others.

Forgive yourself. You’re human.

17 – Take joy in other people’s accomplishments and cheer them on. You’ll be happier when you enjoy someone else’s success. Don’t be jealous; see role models and an opportunity to learn from them how you can achieve your own success.

18 – Live for today. Waiting for a day that is less busy is waiting for a day that won’t come. Don’t put off what makes you happy.

19 – Don’t look back. You’re not heading in that direction.

Personal Development

20 – See setbacks and obstacles as growth opportunities. Jack Andraka was rejected by 199 research institutions before he found a home for his research. Thankfully, he didn’t let the rejections stop him. He developed a breakthrough diagnostic cancer test (at age 15). Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Steven Spielberg was rejected from film school. It’s ok to fail. Your failures are your best opportunities to learn. Hopefully, you can see them that way. If it helps, read these famous failure stories to inspire you.

21 – Let yourself be a novice. No one begins as an expert. If you think about it, experts built the Titanic. A couple of students who didn’t know what they were doing built Google. Who would you rather be? Sometimes getting started now, on something that matters to you, will help you feel better.

22 – Don’t sweat the small stuff. Before you get upset, ask yourself, “Will this matter tomorrow, next week or in a year?”

23 – Don’t be a maximizer. Your gift for someone doesn’t have to be perfect; it has to be thoughtful. Your house can be clean, but it doesn’t have to be immaculate. Very good is good enough. Deciding not to maximize saves time and reduces stress.

Find a purpose

24 – Find your purpose. UCLA researchers reported that people are happier when they feel a strong purpose and meaning in their life.

Perhaps it’s being a great parent, a great spouse, an excellent gardener or, if you’re ambitious, saving the world. People are constantly searching for their purpose. Here’s an exercise to help you figure yours out: Imagine you’re at your own funeral. What would you like people to say about you? How would you like to be remembered? What did you accomplish in life? What you came up with is important, and shouldn’t be put off. What can you start doing now to go down that path? You don’t have to take a big step, but you do have to get started.

25 – Live true to yourself. “Prestige is a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you’d like to like.” Paul Graham, Y-Combinator founder

26 – Don’t try to squeeze yourself into someone you’re not. Celebrate what you’re great at and accept that everyone brings unique strengths to the table.

27 – Find meaningful work: “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” – Steve Jobs

28 – And when you do, don’t work too much. Let’s face it — there will always be another email to answer. Don’t look at going to your son’s baseball game as shirking work responsibilities. Look at not going as shirking what’s important.

29 – Live your values. Believe and act upon your personal values. That builds contentment over time. 30 – Baby steps towards life goals. Many people have huge life goals — so big that working on them never starts. Break big dreams into small achievable steps, and then focus on taking one step at a time. The progress makes us happy, and the small steps give us a chance to succeed.

When I teach entrepreneurship, students often say they want a thriving restaurant or a successful fashion brand. They haven’t started because they see no way to immediately get there. I tell them to start small, like selling food out of their homes or selling t-shirts. From there we can build a plan with many small steps to eventually reach their dreams.

31 – It’s never the right time. Whether it’s changing jobs or pursuing your dream, the time is never right. Find a way to start small now.

32 – Teach someone. We can all teach something — even if it’s small — and teaching others makes most of us happy. As an added bonus, sometimes the smallest lessons make the biggest difference. Olympic gold medalist, professional baseball player and bestselling author Jim Abbott recalls that his third grade teacher showing him how to tie his shoes was one of the biggest inspirations of Jim’s life. 33 – This corporate manifesto is an awesome mission statement for life.

Build Relationships

34 – Investing in relationships is a big answer to how to be happy. Studies show that having strong relationships makes you happier — even if you’re an introvert. According to researchers, your relationships are more important than money. One of the top five regrets of the dying is not spending enough time with family and friends.

Relationships can also help when you’re stressed. I’ve often thought I could get through stressful periods by focusing my energy on getting stuff done or researching answers to problems. Sometimes, the best medicine was to pick up the phone and call someone who’d make me laugh.

35 – Understand. Put more effort into understanding the people around you. Really listen and ask questions. You’ll have better conversations and better relationships.

36 – Go deep. A study published in Psychological Science found that not only are relationships important, but having more substantive conversations rather than idle chit chat increased happiness.

37 – Talk to someone If you’re unhappy, talk to someone. Your family and friends might want to help. A therapist can also help. How do you find a good therapist? If you’re too embarrassed to ask friends for recommendations, ask your primary care physician. Or, pick out a few therapists at Psychology Today. Call each therapist and see with whom you feel most comfortable. Research by Chris Boyce showed that therapy was 32 times more effective than cash at increasing happiness. (That said, I’d bet this isn’t true for those without financial stability.)

38 – Don’t talk bad about people. Look for the positive and talk about that. You’re also helping with your positivity, changing your mindset to see the positive, which makes you happier.

Be Kind and Be Thankful

39 – Be thankful. When the little things someone does drives you nuts, it helps to keep an eye out for the positive. Let’s take your spouse. When you start noticing the great things your husband does every day, it’s easier not to be bothered by the small things, like dirty socks on the floor.

40 – Choose to see the positive. This ties to being thankful. You have a choice to see things in a positive or negative light. Seeing things more positively increases happiness. I’m not suggesting you embrace someone who is trying to hurt you or tell someone it’s good that they’re sick, but you can train yourself to view things more positively.

You can be the person who looks outside and says, “it’s a beautiful day, and I’m excited,” or the person who says, “I’m disappointed it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.”

You can see a visit from friends as an opportunity to catch up or a hassle because you need to clean your house.

Looking for the positive trains you to think more positively and be happier (this is along the lines of points 1-4).

Find Opportunities in everyday living

41 – Have sex.

Yes, sex feels great.

Perhaps it can even count towards the scientifically proven point that exercise makes us happier than antidepressants (point 57)?

And, sex will help us sleep better, and more sleep = more happiness (point 59)!

Plus there’s scientific proof that sex creates significant happiness (Guys, you can thank me later for including this one).

Another study, by a Dartmouth College economist and professor at University of Warwick in England found that sex created more happiness than money. They estimate increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting $50,000 in additional income.

42 – Be early.

(Men, this has nothing to do with the prior point). I’m always stressed when running late. I’m not sure why it took me so long, but I decided to have fewer back to back meetings and give myself enough time that I’d always be early. Well, I’m not always be early (or on time for that matter), but being early more often sure is less stressful than trying to squeeze productivity into every spare minute.

43 – Avoid clutter. Having more stuff creates work, and stuff can simply weigh you down. Seeing your clutter is a constant reminded that you have work to do and things to clean.

I realized the truth in this from friends impacted by Hurricane Sandy. All of their basements were flooded. Every single person said they were surprised that throwing out everything in their basement was liberating. Their regrets were not throwing their stuff away earlier.

This UCLA study found that cluttered houses made mothers stressed and this study from Princeton University found that cluttered offices led to irritability and difficulty focusing.

If you declutter, here’s a comprehensive list of where to donate your stuff.

44 – Drink tea. Drinking tea has been proven to help with anxiety and stress. So, if you suffer from anxiety, tea can help you feel happier. Here’s a great summary of how different tea can help.

45 – Get a pet. According to this research, pet ownership increases happiness — even in happy people.

46 – How to be happy? Have a happy mate. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, a person’s happiness level increases along with their mate’s. It’s as important to contribute to your mate’s happiness as to your own!

Make it easy and fun

47 – Buy experiences. If you’re going to spend money, a study by Cornell University found that buying experiences makes people happier than buying things.

48 – Pay for help. We all feel so pressed for time that if we can afford to hire people for some routine chores, we’ll often increase our happiness.

49 – Make your own fun. This is another lesson I learned at Ronald McDonald Camp. Everything can be fun if we choose to make it that way. At this camp for kids with cancer, the medical staff created Dance for Your Meds Parties that made taking medication fun for the kids. If taking medicine that makes you feel sick can be fun, almost anything can be fun. It’s our job to figure out how!

50 – Change how you view chores

I’m not doing the dishes, because I have to. I’m doing the dishes because I want to make my wife happy. That makes me a lot happier about chores, and makes me look for more things I can do around the house (although my wife might debate this point). You can also say you’re doing chores because you enjoy the outcome – like a clean house.

51 – Don’t keep score No one owes you for your acts of kindness. You’re doing the good deeds because you want to make a difference and you also know it will help you feel better. Keeping score takes away some of your joy.

52 – Keep reminders of happy moments. Hang happy photos, keep mementos around the house, create photo albums. Research shows that reminding yourself of enjoyable times increases happiness.

53 – Recognize and embrace your inspirations Maybe there are movies, stories or people that inspire you. Seek them out and expose yourself to them–repeatedly. Some people like to read about individuals who have overcome enormous struggles to give them perspective. Others like to read about people who are saving the world. Choose what resonates with you.

54 – Listen to music. According to a study from the Group Health Research Institute, over a 3-month period, people who listened to music had the same 50% decrease in anxiety symptoms as patients who received ten hour-long massages. (Note that their findings point to massage as helpful in reducing anxiety as well – it’s just a lot more expensive than music.) Choosing the right music can play a part in happiness. Happy and upbeat songs work for me. Some studies have found that sad songs increase happiness, so you might want to try different types of music to see what works for you.

55 – Laugh. At yourself, at funny movies and with your friends. Scientific studies have shown that laughter releases endorphins and even significantly increases our thresholds for pain. If you want a great laugh right now, check out this hilarious 1 minute read about unbelievable, real life courtroom exchanges recorded by stenographers — Disorder in the Court.

Although all laughter is good, group laughter has more of a benefit.

56 – Plan a vacation A Dutch study found that just planning a vacation boosted happiness for 8 weeks. And that doesn’t even take into account experiencing the trip.

Focus on health and wellness

57 – Exercise. 30 minutes of exercise has been scientifically proven to have more of an impact on happiness than antidepressants. Wow! In the six-month study, of depressed people, 38% of those using medication slipped back into depression. Only 9% of those exercising did. 31% of the people doing exercise and taking medication became depressed again. If nothing else, start walking 30 minutes a day.

58 – Eat healthy. You’ll feel better; that’s what numerous studies say.

Well, except when you have a giant ice cream sundae with your family for Saturday breakfast just because it would be fun. Spontaneous fun trumps eating healthy.

59 – Get more sleep. Studies show that 60-90 minutes more sleep would make most of us happier and that most of us don’t get enough sleep.

60 – Naps aren’t just for grandparents. This study shows that naps desensitize us to negative emotions while making us more responsive to positive ones.

61 – Go outside Numerous studies reviewed in the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that being outdoors as well as being in nature increased happiness and vitality. Taking a walk outside might be a great step for boosting happiness.

62 – Meditate Meditating is a great way to be in the moment. There are countless studies showing that people who meditate are happier. I haven’t mastered meditating, and I don’t think it makes me happier. However, I was introduced to a mini meditation that was helpful when I had a period of high stress.

I focused on counting and my breath, clearing my mind of everything else. Here’s how the mini meditation works:

Close your eyes

Count slowly to 4 while you take the biggest breath you can. Expand your stomach and then your chest as you breathe. Sit up straight to take in as much air as possible. You want to feel like you’re going to explode.

Count slowly to 4 as you hold your breath. Then, count slowly to 4 as you exhale. Feel a little bit of tension leaving your body as you exhale.

Repeat 8 times.

I was recommended to do this at the same time every day and when I was stressed. It worked great.

Optional addition: Try counting to 4 (or less) after you exhale and before you take your next breath.

Over time, I wound up increasing most of my counts above 4. Now, I do it in the car on the way to work (with my eyes open, of course).

63 – Meditation advice. Although meditating for 20 minutes (or even 10 minutes) didn’t seem to work for me, I used to start my meditation by thinking about what I wanted to improve. I wanted to be less bothered by little things. After a month, the daily reminder helped me to catch myself before I got upset.

At the start of each meditation, I also thought about how I wanted meditation to make me a better husband and dad, and I think it helped.

Keep in mind that you’re not going to be happy 100% of the time. Even though social media feeds make it seem like so many people are happy all of the time, they’re not. Have realistic goals and expectations. Aiming for incremental gains in happiness is a realistic goal, and it can change our lives..

Hopefully you found some of these ideas worth trying as you ask yourself how to be happier or how to be happy.

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pooma-bible · 2 years ago

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தமிழில் ।।

Happy Thanksgiving

Do not be anxious for one another, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests known. Philippians 4:6

Psychologist Robert Emmons divided three groups into making notes of the week's events. One group wrote down five things they were thankful for. A group wrote down five problems they encountered.

One group wrote down five things that had impacted their lives in simple ways.

At the end of that study, those in the group who expressed gratitude were found to have a more positive outlook on their future and less physical ailments.

Being grateful changes the way we look at life. Giving thanks also makes us happy. Scripture reveals the nature of God by telling us the benefits of being grateful to God. The Psalms repeatedly call God's people to give thanks for His unfailing grace and wonderful works (107:8,15,21,31).

As Paul closes his letter to the Philippians, he writes it in such a way as to express his gratitude to those who have supported him in his ministry. He expresses his gratitude with God's peace that "exceeds all understanding" (4:7). When we remember God and His good deeds, we can express our gratitude in all situations without worries. Thanksgiving gives us divine peace, protects our hearts and minds, and changes our outlook on life. A grateful heart feeds a spirit of joy.

What is holding you back from expressing your gratitude? How does God call you to joyful thanksgiving when you bring your needs to God?

Heavenly Father, when I see trouble, give me a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving.

மகிழ்ச்சியாய் நன்றி செலுத்துதல்

நீங்கள் ஒன்றுக்குங் கவலைப்படாமல், எல்லாவற்றையுங்குறித்து உங்கள் விண்ணப்பங்களை ஸ்தோத்திரத்தோடே கூடிய ஜெபத்தினாலும் வேண்டுதலினாலும் தெரியப்படுத்துங்கள். பிலிப்பியர் 4:6

உளவியல் நிபுணர் ராபர்ட் எம்மன்ஸ், வார நிகழ்வுகளை குறிப்பெடுக்கும்படி மூன்று குழுவினர்களை பிரித்தார். அதில் ஒரு குழுவினர், அவர்கள் நன்றி செலுத்தக்கூடிய ஐந்து காரியங்களை எழுதினர். ஒரு குழுவினர் அவர்கள் சந்தித்த ஐந்து பிரச்சினைகளை எழுதினர்.

ஒரு குழுவினர், தங்களுடைய வாழ்க்கையில் எளிமையான விதத்தில் பாதிப்பை ஏற்படுத்திய ஐந்து காரியங்களை எழுதியிருந்தனர்.

அந்த ஆய்வின் முடிவில், தங்கள் நன்றியுணர்வை வெளிப்படுத்திய குழுவைச் சேர்ந்தவர்களே தங்கள் எதிர்காலத்தைக் குறித்த நேர்மறையான எண்ணம் கொண்டவர்கள் என்றும், குறைவான சரீர வியாதிகள் உடையவர்கள் என்றும் கண்டறியப்பட்டனர்.

நன்றியுள்ளவர்களாயிருத்தல் என்பது வாழ்க்கையை நாம் பார்க்கும் விதத்தை மாற்றுகிறது. நன்றி சொல்லுதல் நம்மை மகிழ்ச்சியடையவும் செய்கிறது. தேவனுக்கு நன்றியுள்ளவர்களாயிருப்பதால் ஏற்படும் நன்மைகளை வேதம் நமக்கு அறிவிப்பதின் மூலம் ��ேவனுடைய சுபாவத்தை வெளிப்படுத்துகிறது. சங்கீதங்கள், “கர்த்தர் நல்லவர், அவருடைய கிருபை என்றென்றைக்கும்… உள்ளது (சங்கீதம் 100:5) என்றும் அவருடைய மாறாத கிருபைக்காகவும் ஆச்சரியமான கிரியைகளுக்காகவும் நன்றி செலுத்தும்படி தேவ ஜனத்திற்கு மீண்டும் மீண்டும் அழைப்பு விடுக்கிறது (107:8,15,21,31).

பிலிப்பியருக்கு எழுதிய நிருபத்தை பவுல் நிறைவுசெய்யும்போது, அவருக்கு ஊழியத்தில் உறுதுணையாயிருந்தவர்களுக்கு தம் நன்றியுணர்வை வெளிப்படுத்தும் விதத்திலேயே அதை எழுதுகிறார். அவர் “எல்லாப் புத்திக்கும் மேலான” தேவசமாதானத்தோடு (4:7) தம் நன்றியை வெளிப்படுத்துகிறார். தேவனையும் அவர் செய்த நன்மைகளையும் நினைவுகூரும்போது, கவலைகள் இல்லாமல் எல்லா சூழ்நிலைகளிலும் நம் நன்றியை வெளிப்படுத்தமுடியும். நன்றி செலுத்துதல் என்பது நமக்கு தேவசமாதானத்தை அருளி, நம்முடைய இருதயத்தையும் சிந்தையையும் பாதுகாத்து, வாழ்க்கையின் பார்வையையே மாற்றிவிடும். நன்றியுள்ள இருதயம் மகிழ்ச்சியின் ஆவிக்கு ஊட்டமளிக்கும்.

உங்களுடைய நன்றியுணர்வை வெளிப்படுத்த எது தடையாயிருக்கிறது? உங்களுடைய தேவையை தேவனிடத்திற்கு கொண்டுவரும்போது, மகிழ்ச்சியான நன்றி செலுத்துதலுக்குத் தேவன் எவ்விதம் உங்களுக்கு அழைப்பு விடுக்கிறார்?

பரலோகப் பிதாவே, நான் பிரச்சினையைப் பார்க்கும்போது, நன்றியுணர்வையும் ஸ்தோத்திரம் சொல்லும் ஆவியையும் எனக்குத் தாரும்.

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pilmmalawmarketing · 2 years ago

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Law Firm Marketing, Management and Culture: Foster a Culture of Gratitude

We’ve long known the benefits of affirmation and appreciation. Who doesn’t like hearing that they’ve done a good job or that the work they are doing matters? The more we feel appreciated, acknowledged, and affirmed, the happier we are and the harder most of us work to do a good job. It’s human nature. It starts when we can barely walk, proceeds through our school-age years, and continues throughout our adult life. In our personal lives, we readily recognize how our mood and motivation improves when our spouse shows they appreciate the work we’ve done at home or for our family. We see how well our children respond when they are praised for doing a good job at their chores or studies.

Just as in our personal relationships, affirmation works wonders in the business setting, too. When our staffs feel appreciated and affirmed, they are much more apt to go that extra mile to do their best work. When we show that we value their insights and welcome their ideas, they are more likely to feel vested in what we are trying to accomplish. Feeling affirmed not only boosts our confidence and self-worth but causes most of us to push even harder. Your staff and associate attorneys are no different.

Being grateful for your staff and showing it in meaningful ways, both big and small, can transform your firm. Taking action to create a firm culture of gratitude and affirmation can be a powerful catalyst that takes your firm to an entirely new level. Productivity can increase, stressful environments can dissipate, and morale improves. And when your employees are happy, guess what? Your clients will be happier too. It’s a domino effect.

If they aren’t getting it from us, we cannot expect our employees to show our clients kindness, respect, empathy, and appreciation. As Ken Hardison, Personal Injury Lawyers Marketing and Management’s (PILMMA) President puts it, “If you want your employees to be good to your clients, you need to be good to your employees, first. If you want your clients happy, you need to make your employees happy first.”

Many law firm owners show their employees appreciation through financial rewards or incentives, such as the Christmas bonus. I’m certainly not suggesting that you stop providing these financial rewards or incentives to your employees. They are tangible and concrete expressions that show you value your staff and want them to share in your firm’s success. But what I am suggesting is that by taking some simple steps, you can create a Firm Culture of Gratitude in your law firm that reaps benefits for you, your staff, and your clients all year long. These benefits may be more powerful and sustaining motivators than financial incentives.

In fact, The London School of Economics conducted extensive research and concluded that financial incentives may reduce an employee’s natural inclination to complete a task and derive pleasure from doing so. Glassdoor conducted a study that found that 80% of the employees polled would work harder if they felt their employer appreciated their efforts, and 70% said their self-image and attitude would be improved if their employer thanked them more regularly! (Vozza, The Science of Gratitude and Why it’s Important In Your Workplace, 11/14/16, Fast Company)

Psychology professor and gratitude researcher Robert Emmons considers gratitude vital to the workplace because it acts as a disinfectant against “exploitation, complaint, entitlement, gossip and negativity that often exist in the workplace. “Id. At the University of Pennsylvania, the Wharton School put this theory to test by dividing people into two groups and asking them to make fundraising calls to solicit alumni donations. One group was given a pep talk of encouragement before making the calls, and the other group wasn’t. And guess what? The group that received the pep talk made a whopping 50% more calls than the group that didn’t. Id.”

In his classic 7 Habits of Successful People, William Covey explains the importance of affirmation and appreciation this way: “Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival- to be understood, to be validated, and to be appreciated.”

#Law Firm Marketing

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shaizstern · 3 years ago

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Article from WSJ: Is the Secret to Happiness Having a Gratitude Practice?

Even spending just a few minutes a day practicing gratitude can facilitate better sleep and lower blood pressure, according to research. How to get in on the healthy, easy wellness routine.

LLUSTRATION: HOLLY STAPLETON FOR WSJ. MAGAZINE

By Lane Florsheim

A surprising unifier has emerged over the last year in WSJ.’s My Monday Morning column, which chronicles the routines and productivity secrets people use to start their weeks: gratitude.

Before author Stephen King gets out of bed in the morning, he runs through a mental inventory of the things he’s grateful for. So does actor Tracee Ellis Ross. Musician and director Questlove writes a 15-item gratitude list every Sunday. Nike CEO John Donahoe spends time meditating on questions like, “What am I grateful for in the broad sense of my life? What am I grateful for in the previous day?” Actor Kate Hudson re-started her gratitude journaling after a reflective Thanksgiving car ride. Model Bella Hadid likes listening to a daily gratitude meditation every morning.

Gratitude isn’t a new concept or a practice that’s exclusive to celebrities. For one, it’s a tenet of most major religions. In modern times, it was popularized in 1990s self-help books like Simple Abundance: 365 Days to a Balanced and Joyful Life, a bestseller for which its author Sarah Ban Breathnach also created an accompanying The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude. Oprah Winfrey has extolled the virtues of gratitude journaling—writing down things she’s grateful for, which she’s been doing since 1996—numerous times over the years.

Dr. Robert A. Emmons, a psychologist and professor at University of California Davis who’s written several books on gratitude, says the pandemic is likely one of the reasons for the practice’s increased popularity right now. “In the face of crises and during troubling times, people rely on positive feelings to cope, and they seem to turn to gratitude more than any other positive emotion,” he says.

Alyssa Bonanno, 28, started her gratitude practice during a point in the pandemic when days started to feel as though they were blurring together. Bonanno, the co-owner of a creative agency in New York City, found that gratitude journaling in the evening was a nice signifier that work was done for the day. She uses a notebook in order to stay away from emails and says the exercise keeps her even-keeled the same way meditation or a workout does. “I also think it’s made me more gracious to the people who we work with,” she says.

“Don’t you feel like we’re all struggling a little mentally right now because of the surge?” says Amy Denet Deal, 57, the founder of Diné (Navajo) fashion and home brand 4Kinship. Every day, she wakes up at dawn, greets the sun and sets intentions for the day, as well as completing other practices that she doesn’t want to disclose publicly because of their sacredness. “Giving back is so helpful on all of these other emotions of fear, of depression, of all the things that have happened during Covid-19. It’s taking ownership of, How can I be grateful? How can I give back?”

Every day, Amy Denet Deal wakes up at dawn, greets the sun and sets intentions for the day.PHOTO: DILLON SACHS

The photographer, author and podcast host Amanda de Cadenet, 49, says focusing on what she’s grateful for tends to override any other negative emotions she might be feeling. Her gratitude practice incorporates social media prompts from the Hoffman Institute Foundation, which holds a week-long healing and development retreat called the Hoffman Process that she attended eight years ago; exercises from professor and author Kristin Neff, who focuses on self-compassion; and the tools she’s gained from her sobriety. “A big part of sobriety and recovery is based around acceptance of life on life’s terms,” she says. “I look for the small joys, like a neighbor of mine has the most beautiful-smelling roses.”

Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman, the director of the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, says, “Humans are built to attend to the things that go badly in our lives. A lot of the exercises in positive psychology are ways of teaching people to savor and pay attention to what goes well.”

The psychologist Dr. Emmons says clinical trials indicate that gratitude practices can facilitate better sleep and lower blood pressure—and that people who keep gratitude journals are on average happier than those who don’t.

Benjamin Almeter, 28, the founder of public relations agency Dispatch, says his gratitude practice has allowed him to notice what’s made him happy—going on a long walk, taking 40 minutes to cook a meal instead of ordering takeout—and turning those things into patterns.

Some CEOs, founders and executives say their practices have strengthened their leadership at work. Stacey Boyd, 52, founder and CEO of philanthropic shopping site Olivela says she’s been practicing gratitude for 16 years and that it’s probably the most important thing she does every day. “It always forces me to reflect not only on how I’m powering through my day but as importantly, how I’m interacting with others, and as a manager and leader, how I can do better at inspiring more and better from them.” Others, like Susan Korn, 35, the founder of accessories brand Susan Alexandra, uses gratitude as a team-building exercise. “I think it makes people feel like they’re doing something special,” she says.

Susan Korn, the founder of accessories brand Susan Alexandra, uses gratitude as a team-building exercise.PHOTO: PHOTOGRAPH BY JOHNNY KOMPAR

A gratitude practice doesn’t have to be time-consuming. A few years ago, a friend gave Dianna Cohen, 30, the founder and CEO of hair-care brand Crown Affair, a book called the Five-Minute Journal. Now Cohen starts her mornings by filling out its prompts, which include writing three things she’s grateful for, as well as what she’s looking forward to that day. “It’s perfect if you’re going to the gym or have kids,” she says.

Writer Amanda Fortini, 45, describes her practice as an informal meditation that she does in bed as she’s going to sleep. Moving from small things (a meal she ate that day) to large (having shelter), she says she usually only gets to three of them before falling asleep.

Gratitude Adjustment

How different people think about and practice gratitude

Halah Flynn, 27, marketing professional, thinks through her gratitude list on runs to the Washington Monument.

On Tuesdays, Vera Papisova, 31, journalist, shares her “small wins” on her Instagram story, citing research that Tuesday is the hardest day of the week for most people; she posts her followers’ small wins, too.

Bonita Kye, 33, founder of Kye Intimates, practices gratitude on her daily walks to the beach.

Bonita Kye, founder of Kye Intimates, practices gratitude on her daily walks to the beach.PHOTO: TIANA MARIE COMBES

Amanda Baudier, 38, general manager of Melissa Wood Health, uses a monitor while she’s meditating that tracks her heart rate variability, which she says shows her whether she’s in an elevated space where she’s feeling emotions like gratitude and joy.

Poppy Jamie, 31, author and entrepreneur, shares three things she’s grateful for every day with her partner; he shares his, too.

Original article can be found here: https://www.wsj.com/articles/is-the-secret-to-happiness-having-a-gratitude-practice-11642691301

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pretty-book · 3 years ago

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5 tips to practice gratitude to get through the day

According to Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, positive emotions wear off quickly. We respond excitedly to to newness. So when new jobs become routine, romance turns to work, and moving to a new place turns into familiarity, we try to find novelty elsewhere. But the cycle repeats itself and feelings eventually wear off. Emmons discovered that this is why practicing gratitude is so important because it allows us to appreciate the present. Rather than becoming mere spectators and believing that the grass is always greener on the other side, gratitude pushes us to participate in our lives to find and celebrate the good times. Psych2Go shares with you 5 tips to practice gratitude to get through the day:

1. Spend time with loved ones.

When you hang out with people who see the best in you, it helps you build a higher sense of self-esteem. You begin to see yourself in a more positive light that allows you to unleash your true potential. You also become less critical and negative. As a result, it gets easier to accept your flaws and imperfections. More importantly, you remember not to take close supportive loved ones for granted. Even when you catch yourself having disagreements or arguments with them, the disappointment and anger eventually diminish when you just want to be there for them. Don’t lose sight on the big picture and make the most out of your time together.

2. Embrace your challenges rather than resisting them.

It’s easy to focus on the negative aspects of your life when stressful events unfold all at once. But rather than allowing them to take control and hold you back, learn to embrace your challenges. Let them teach you the art of resilience. Be patient when the storm hasn’t passed yet and give yourself a chance to be human. The world has become too driven by results that we sometimes forget to evaluate whether our expectations are realistic or not. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Instead, do what you can and keep trying. You’re doing your best, and that’s what counts.

3. Let go of grudges and work on problem-solving.

Pain only lasts as long as you hold onto it. Learn how to forgive others as well as yourself. Swallow your pride and apologize when you’ve hurt someone. Holding onto grudges only gets in the way of making amends. It prevents you from bringing people closer to you. Instead of creating distance, find a common ground and learn to work through problems. Communicate openly and honestly and try not to be defensive or attack. Anger only distract you from cultivating deeper relationships. Be more open-minded and accepting. Your first reaction might be to withdraw when things get tough. Fight that urge and learn to face the problems with others.

4. Don’t analyze too much. Instead, allow things to just be.

Sometimes, there’s not always an explanation for the events that happen in our lives. So, don’t try to pick apart every situation. This will only drive you nuts and make you feel drained, rather than help you move forward. Don’t allow yourself to live in the past. Instead, focus on the present and enjoy things as they come. If an opportunity comes your way that will enhance your life for the better, don’t be too skeptical about where it came from or why it suddenly appeared. Take a chance and run with it. You never know what other doors it’ll also open for you along the way.

5. Make time to do the things that you love.

Maybe you hate your job or school feels like a never-ending nightmare with back-to-back exams. The exhaustion we feel when we’re burnt out or unmotivated can bring our moods down to the lowest of our lows. It’s hard to get excited about things when the walls continue to stack higher in front of you. This is why it’s essential that we don’t allow work or school to consume us. Setting healthy boundaries is important. If watching movies helps you escape, put one on at the end of the day. Listen to music that helps you unwind and go for a walk. Watch the sunset when you can. Moments, no matter how brief or small, inspire us to keep going.

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drwebercoaching · 3 years ago

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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein-

According to loads of research from University of California, UC Davis´s Robert Emmons, Harvard, Yale, Berkeley and many others, feeling gratitude will improve nearly ALL of life’s challenges, overcome stress, anxiety, trauma, mental health issues, physical health, more fulfillment in relationships, at work and more.

#gratitude #gratefulness #thankfulness #happiness

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ejecutivocoach · 3 years ago

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“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein-

#gratitude #gratefulness #thankfulness

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eminentfocus · 4 years ago

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Stranger Than Fiction

“I’m such an idiot! I can’t believe I said that! They must absolutely hate me! How will I ever recover from this? I hate it here!” We all do it. I’m guilty too. No one is immune to automatic negative thoughts. We all toss around these negative thoughts to allow us to imagine potential threats and problems. It is literally in our survival DNA to come to the worst-case-scenario. This gives us an opportunity to correct our behaviors to avoid harm, it’s necessary. We learned about a piece of this neural network last time, when we talked about loneliness. Today, we will really examine the sneaky little cognitive distortions that lead to chronic stress and body trauma. To do this, we must look at the story we tell ourselves to recognize our automatic negative thoughts. Ready for the dive into the rabbit hole? Here we go!

90 percent of the thoughts we have are habitual, that is, we have the same thoughts, daily, for the majority of our lives. What is shocking is that most of those thoughts are negative. Research has concluded that these negative thought patterns change the physical brain and our overall health. Any study done on chronic stress will prove this point repeatedly. The problem with automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs, is that they become habitual at a neurological level. We are literally creating physical neuro pathways to change the structure of our brain and thinking patters each time we engage with these thoughts. After some time, our behaviors and beliefs of logic change. Our mind convinces us that something is true that has no accuracy. Yikes!

Dr. Aaron Beck discovered “ANT thought streams” way back in the 1960’s when he was working with depression patients. They had very similar thinking patterns and stories that they told themselves about how they “fit into” the world. They had streams of thoughts in their heads most of the day about how they were not fit for the world and that they aren’t deserving of anything positive. He was able to narrow down thousands of repeat thoughts and separate them into three clear categories: They displaced negative ANTs about themselves, the world and the future. He quickly realized that the basis of these negative thinking patterns created a level of stress equal to a natural disaster for both our physical brain health and our mental well-being. Today, I will tell you that noticing your own personal ANTs and employing some tools to challenge and control them is an amazing return of investment to yourself. Turning off this useless, debilitating, negative chatter is one of the most powerful things you can do for your well-being. You are worth it, I promise!

Today I will break down the nine most common ANTs so that we can recognize when we may be off the rails. I will also give you four main tools to add to your toolbox that just may change how you think about most of the world. I advised you that this would happen here, so let’s just rip off the band-aid and get on with it, shall we?

Black and white thinking. We have already touched on the beast I like to call the “should monster”. This guy is the president of the always and never club. He tells us that things will always be this bad and that it will never get better. He completely misses all the good opportunities. He’s a jerk and a set-up. Quiet him!

Focusing on the negative. We all get into funks sometimes where everything just feels blah. Sometimes someone cuts us off in traffic and the entire rest of the day is a steaming pile of shit. Everything goes wrong and everyone is annoying. Noticed that? It’s not the world hunty, that’s you! Do the roses have thorns or do the thorn vines have roses? It’s up to you!

Fortune telling. No matter what they say to you, you know you will suck. You will bomb and everything that you imagined going wrong truly will. No one can change your mind, even yourself. You finish the project and get great reviews, yet still, you believe it failed. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point. See why you cannot get a different result here? You have decided to turn off your logic for fortune telling, why? Stop that. No one is that damn powerful!

Mind reading. “Oh, boy! I know they hate me! I can see it in their face. They look bored and pissed! Ugh! I know they absolutely cannot stand me right now”. Did you ask? Did you ever stop for a second and say, “hey, what are you thinking about”? I bet if you did you would learn that most people are thinking about their own ANTs a lot more than they are thinking about you. I know that probably stung a little, but the fact is that most people think about us way less than we think they do. Most times when they think about us, it is not in a negative light, but because they need help from us. Proven fact. Believe it!

Thinking with your feelings. You will hear me say it until you are sick of it: feelings are not directives, only warning signs. We need them but do not always need to act on them. It is okay to label and call out our emotions to try to reflect on the why, but this is where it must stop for your sanity. If you spend too much time here you create physical neuro pathways, remember earlier? Why the danger label? When you lay these pathways, you go from feeling something to actually becoming the feeling. This is a form of self-harm. Yes, again. I know!

Being ruled by should. Ah! The “should monster” strikes again! See why I call him a guttersnipe? He sits up on his pedestal and tells us how we should be doing things, thinking thoughts, caring for ourselves and others from his own level of survival. He’s a real Richard! We proved in an earlier post that guilting ourselves into change does not change behavior, see the alcohol and tobacco industry for quick examples. Guess what? It’s just more self-harm that actually demotivates you. Hard truth.

Labeling. Anyone who knows me understands that I struggle to label people. I have a hard time giving police an accurate description of people because I just do not label people or things. I cannot easily identify race, ethnicity, social status, and sometimes even gender because I have not practiced judging others on these things. However, I label the shit out of myself! Bad or aloof are two of my favorite labels for myself. What have I learned about this? Labels simply are thoughts that become self-fulfilling prophecies for yourself and ruin your relationships with other people. Labels have no place except on canned goods. Rip them off and throw them all away!

Taking things personally. As I mentioned with the sting earlier, people do not think about us as much as we think they do. When you see that someone is focused and engaged in their own mental turmoil it is so easy for us to assume that they are upset with us. We see their face, notice their body language. Hear their sighs of disapproval. Automatic thought: I must have said or done something to upset them. It has to be me because I looked at them. I noticed their turmoil so it’s me! Again, did you ask? Again, I bet it’s not even about you! They may be nervous about an upcoming presentation or meeting. They may feel ill prepared for a test. They may have gotten some bad news and not know how to process it… Most times, it’s not you! You’re not quite that important.

Blame. My alarm didn’t go off this morning, so it ruined my entire day. You didn’t call ahead to give me enough time, it’s your fault we’re late! Why didn’t you tell me right away? It’s your fault it got so bad! Sound familiar? It is easy to scapegoat people because we have a genetic need to be right. We need to be sure to feel safe. Truth is, you are the only person responsible for the condition of the pavement on your road. Only you. Own that shit! Sorry- not sorry.

I know that some of that hurt and it should if you do any or all of these things. Usually reflection and ownership feel a little bad at first. It’s okay. In fact, the only place we can start is where we are. How will we ever start if we cannot face the idea that we are only what begins us? Dr. Robert Emmons certainly can give us insight and hope through the practice of gratitude. He discovered that gratitude is the most powerful promoter of mental and emotional resiliency, while minimizing underlying negative emotions. It is easier said than done, though. Ready for the tools of the trade I promised?

Personify your own inner critic. You already been knowin’ he’s a shit. Give him a name and personality. This makes him real and gives you an added edge to get to know his ticks from outside of yourself. Take the time to really dig into who he is and how he is different from you at your core. He is a part of you but separate, make it that way mentally!

Get bored with his stories. We all have that one friend that tells the same three stories over, and over, and over, again. We know how to deal with that friend right? We deal with those same old repeating thoughts just like that friend. “Oh geezus! The same old story again dude? Really?!?” Eyeroll…

Reframing your “shoulds”. I should go run. Scratch that! I want to go run because I feel so much better after I do. I should go to work early. Wait! I want to get in early to gain traction on my day- I’ll get so much done! I should cook something healthy instead of getting take-out. No, sir! I am worth the time to make myself something that will encourage me to get me closer to my goals. Do THIS all the time. Never stop!

Countering ANTs with PETs. Positive empowering thoughts are the counterbalance to automatic negative thoughts. Remember everything that is negative has a positive, that’s the hope we find for change. This takes a piece of paper and a bit more work. This is one of the best tools you can use though, so worth the investment! Here how you do it:

Separate your page into three columns. The first one you will name “Trigger”, next “ANTs”, finally “New Thoughts”. In the first column you would place what triggered the ANT. Did you make a mistake, say something you didn’t mean? In the second column you will write your actual thought like “I suck because I messed up. I don’t deserve this job!” Finally you will take the time to write a new thought like “I am new at this. This is the first time I have done this and now I know what to do/not do next time. I’m growing”. The more you do this exercise the more you will understand your own ANTs and how to practice combatting them. You should quickly notice your common triggers and automatic responses. Super powerful! As with ANTs, PETs also create physical neuro pathways. Just like ANT’s, PETs can also become self-fulfilling prophecies. Go on now- do the fucking work, I’ll see you next time!

#TheRabbitHole

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talabib · 4 years ago

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A Guide To Managing Your Money.

Things used to be a whole lot simpler. Once you found a good job, you stuck with it until you retired. At that point, your employer took care of things, regularly paying out a fixed-sum pension tied to your old salary. Retirees could then put their feet up and relax.

That's all changed over the last three or four decades. The generous pension plans of yesteryear are long gone, and today’s employees have to look after their own nest eggs. That means playing an active role in how your pension pot is managed, and investing your savings.

This can be daunting – after all, one false move in the turbulent financial markets can wipe out your savings. So how should you manage your finances? That’s what we’ll be exploring in this post as we take a look at a holistic guide to money management.

Financial insecurity is the new normal, and our instincts stop us from investing our money wisely.

Historically speaking, pension plans are a pretty recent invention. In fact, they only really became common in the nineteenth century as certain societies became more financially secure.

Today, however, that era appears to be over. With financial insecurity ever more widespread, pension plans are once again becoming a rarity.

That’s because there’s been a big change in how pension plans are funded. Before the 1980s, employers typically stumped up much of the cash to pay for their employees’ retirements. Now, however, workers are expected to pay this themselves. In the United States, retirement is now most often self-funded through 401(k) investment plans.

Statistics reflect this sea-change in retirement funding. Between 1980 and the present, the number of employees entitled to a full company pension dropped from 62 to just 17 percent. The number of employees self-funding their retirement through 401(k) plans, by contrast, rose from 12 to 71 percent.

Unsurprisingly, this has created a great deal of insecurity. Take a 2017 survey by the Employee Benefit Research Institute. It found that less than one-quarter – just 18 percent – of all Americans expect a comfortable retirement.

But here’s the real kicker: Our efforts to self-fund retirement are undermined by our instincts, which lead us to make poor investment decisions.

Let’s unpack that. When there’s an economic downturn, we feel less secure. As a result, we begin hoarding money. And how do you do that when the economy stalls and stock prices plummet? Right – you sell the stocks you already own and put off purchasing new stocks.

But this doesn’t make any sense. Think of it this way: You don’t rush to your local supermarket when it hikes its prices; you wait for the sales. This is exactly the logic we should apply to the financial market. The best time to buy stocks is when prices are low – because of, for example, an economic crash. Put differently, if you weren’t buying up cut-price stocks during the 2008 financial crisis, you missed out! That’s a mistake to avoid in the future.

Investment isn’t the only path to greater financial security, though. We’ll be exploring some of the tools you can use to put your finances in order.

We can’t control every aspect of our financial lives, but we do have a surprising amount of agency.

Insecurity might be on the rise, but that doesn’t mean we’re doomed to monetary misery. Luckily, we all have a powerful tool for solving financial problems – the human brain. Now, the brain isn’t all-powerful, and it can’t resolve every conundrum or make us all financial moguls. But it does give us some leverage.

Let’s start by looking at our brains’ limitations. In his book Thinking, Fast and Slow, the psychologist and economist Daniel Kahnemann argues that our default cognitive setting is “fast thinking.” This is an automatic reflex triggered by events in the world around us. When you’re driving a car and see someone dart into the road, for example, it’s fast thinking that makes you instinctively hit the brakes.

This is because our brains are constantly scanning our environment for threats. When we encounter danger, our reactions are lightning-fast and largely unconscious. That means we can’t control our “fast brain” – it simply makes decisions for us. Sometimes those are financial decisions. If you’ve ever spent a huge amount of money you don’t have, chances are your fast brain was in the driving seat.

But fast thinking isn’t the only setting on which the human brain operates. According to Kahnemann, we also have a “slow brain.” This is responsible for rational thought and analyzing complex data. It’s this setting that allows us to, say, calculate the annual returns on high-yielding savings accounts.

So what can our slow brains control? To answer that, we need to look at a study by social scientists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan published in the Encyclopedia of the Social and Behavioral Sciences in 2015. It suggests that around 60 percent of our ability to make sound decisions and be happy is determined by genes and circumstances.

That puts a lot of decisions beyond our control, but it also means that a full 40 percent of the decisions we make over our lives are conscious choices. If you use your slow brain to make those calls, you’ll be well on your way to financial happiness!

The best approach to risk management is to minimize your exposure to losses.

The seventeenth-century French philosopher Blaise Pascal had an interesting take on two of the biggest questions of his day – God and faith. According to Pascal, the decision to believe or not believe in God is a wager, and this explains why it’s better to have faith. If God does exist, you reap huge rewards. If you believe but it turns out that he doesn’t exist, you don’t lose anything. Belief, in other words, is simply a lot less risky.

So what does this have to do with money? Quite a lot, actually. Minimizing risk isn’t just a sound strategy when it comes to belief – it’s also a great way of approaching financial decisions.

Sound money management is all about striking the right balance between risk and reward. The more you risk, the more you stand to gain. But risking everything also means you might just lose everything. You can see how this works by looking at start-ups. When you win in this industry, you win big – just think of Google or Facebook. But, as the CEO of Trepoint, Bill Carmody pointed out in a 2015 article, 96 percent of all start-ups launched in the US over the previous decade had gone bust.

Betting everything on red clearly isn’t a sustainable option, but you also can’t grow financially without taking some risks. So how should you approach risk-taking? Simple: minimize your exposure to losses.

Take the insurance industry. When you buy a house, you’re taking on financial risk. Houses are expensive, after all, and they can – and sometimes do – burn down. To avoid losing everything, you take out insurance on your house, thereby diminishing the risk of financial ruin in case the worst happens.

The same principle can be applied to investment. Look at the world’s most successful investors, like Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, and you’ll find they all have one thing in common – they’re obsessed with avoiding damage and limiting risks. Their great strength is that they wait until the odds are stacked in their favor before striking. By focusing on risk prevention, they make bets that simply can’t lose.

Start planning your finances by determining your net worth and setting financial goals.

Now that we’ve explored general approaches to managing your finances, it’s time to look at the specifics. Let’s start with something very few of us ever get around to doing – working out our own net worth.

This is extraordinarily effective. Even better, it’s easy to do. First off, you’ll want to calculate the sum of all your assets – your house, car, retirement fund, savings, the value of individual items in your home, and so on. Put this in one column. Next, tally up your debts in a second column. This will contain everything from your mortgage to credit card debts, college loans, and car loans. The difference between the total of these two columns is your net worth. Calculate this every year to get a sense of how you’re doing over time.

So why is this such an important exercise? Well, once you’ve gained an accurate overview of your current financial health, you can start thinking about your financial goals.

Knowing what you’re aiming for is the alpha and omega of money management. Obviously, you can’t always predict what your needs will be in the future, but you can make some pretty decent estimates based on your current wants and needs.

Say you already know that you want to be able to put a $50,000 down payment on a $250,000 house in about five years, or you’ve worked out how much annual income you’ll need to live comfortably when you retire. Once you’re clear about these goals, you can create a financial plan to reach them. Check this every year, and you’ll be able to assess whether you’re on track or need to put a little bit more aside each month.

Gratitude is good both for your wallet and your psyche.

Financial health isn’t just about balancing budgets and picking the right investments. In fact, it’s just as important to consider less-tangible things – like practicing gratitude, for example. Sound strange? Actually, it makes a whole lot of sense.

The truly wealthy have more than material riches – they’re also happy. Why? Well, as psychologist and world-leading gratitude expert Robert Emmons notes, thankfulness is a key component of happiness. Put simply, expressing gratitude makes you feel good.

And that’s something you can learn. Emmons recommends two gratitude-boosting techniques. First off, take stock of everything you already have. The problem here is that we often want to compare ourselves to others. Resist that temptation and simply reflect on your own progress, and you’ll feel much more grateful for your lot in life.

Secondly, it’s vital to recognize that where you are today isn’t down solely to your talent and hard work – luck and the help of others also played their part. According to psychologist Kristin Layous, humility is a foundation for gratitude. That means learning to thank others – whether in words or thoughts – is an important catalyst for feelings of happiness and contentment.

Gratitude does more than change your attitude, though – it also changes your spending habits. When you’re constantly looking over your neighbor’s fence and enviously worrying about his new car, you’re likely to end up in a spending competition and splurge on unnecessary luxuries of your own. That isn’t financially sound – and it won’t make you happy, either.

And that’s where gratitude comes in. If you’re grateful for the food on your plate, you don’t need a gourmet meal. Similarly, if you’re thankful for the friends you already have, you don’t need to impress new friends by buying the latest gadgets or following fashion trends. It really is that simple: gratitude is good for your soul and your wallet!

Simple beats complex every time when it comes to financial decisions.

Before we talk more about money, let’s take a moment to rewind back to the 1840s. Our setting is a maternity ward in a hospital in Vienna, Austria, where a doctor named Ignaz Semmelweis is pondering a strange situation. The death rate among women giving birth on his ward is one in ten. The death rate among women during so-called “street births,” by contrast, is just one in 25. What was going on?

Semmelweis racked his brain for solutions. In the end, with the benefit of hindsight, the answer became glaringly obvious – it’s safer to give birth outside a hospital than to be treated by a doctor who hasn’t washed his hands. And that’s the lesson here: simple answers are usually the correct answers.

The human brain, however, loves complexity. The more choices we have, the happier we feel. No wonder – choice is synonymous with abundance, which in turn gives us a sense of security. This, incidentally, explains why Starbucks’ huge coffee menu, with all its size and ingredient choices, is so popular.

Simplicity doesn’t trigger these reactions. It’s pragmatic and boring and leaves our brains craving more stimulation. Given a choice, we’d rather look at a beautiful painting that’s been hung up in a buzzing café serving great food as a band plays than in a museum. Complexity sells.

But making decisions on this basis can be financially ruinous. That’s why it pays – literally – to keep things simple. To do that, all you need to do is remember three straightforward rules.

First, buy when prices are low and sell when prices are high. Second, diversify your portfolio of assets, or – in everyday terms – don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Third, stick to your guns and don’t jump from one investment opportunity to the next. This rule isn’t as self-explanatory as the other two, so let’s unpack it a little.

In most cases, when you invest, you’ll either be lending your money to a company or buying stocks or shares in a company. If you’re playing the long game, your best bet is to invest in stocks, which offer the highest return on investment stretching over several decades. If you’re making a short-term investment, on the other hand, bonds are a safer choice. Keeping this in mind, all you have to do now is choose a company you trust that has a strong product!

Investing isn’t a precise science, and good investors accept that they don’t know it all.

Finance is often associated with sophisticated equations and algorithms that make complex market movements perfectly knowable and predictable. Unfortunately, this just isn’t the way investment works.

In reality, investing isn’t the precise science it’s often made out to be. Paradoxically, this is actually a good thing – after all, it means that you don’t have to be a math genius with five PhDs to make money on the markets.

Take Charlie Munger, one of the world’s most successful investors. According to Munger, investors don’t know the precise outcomes of investment decisions – the best they can do is pick investments that have a high likelihood of working out.

This might sound like false modesty coming from an investor who earned billions on the stock market, but it’s a sound approach. If you want to make sound investment choices, you have to accept that you’re playing a “game” that is largely governed by chance. Staying humble and realistic is your best bet if you want to avoid losses and make the right calls.

In practice, this means that you need to admit to yourself that you don’t know it all. That can be hard, especially if you’re a high-profile investor with tons of financial information at your fingertips. But despite the Hollywood image of aggressive, arrogant traders duking it out on Wall Street, the best investors understand that humility trumps overconfidence.

Why is that? Well, look at it this way. When you recognize that you can’t predict every outcome in the financial markets, you’re much more likely to have the patience to stick with your investments and pay close attention to portfolio diversification and risk management. That’s a better approach than simply jumping on the latest bandwagon and putting all your money on the most hyped investment option.

There is a predictable average return on stock investments, but the range of possible outcomes is much broader.

Ask your mother or your neighbor what kind of return you can expect on your stocks and they’ll likely name a figure like ten percent. This reflects the common sense understanding of how investment works, and it’s not a million miles from the truth: the return on most investments is pretty predictable.

According to data collected by the Ned Davis Research Group, for example, the average yearly return on investments in stocks is indeed about ten percent. During the first two years of an investment, average returns actually rise slightly above that number due to swings in company performance. These typically have a larger impact over the short term than they do over the long term.

That means we can bank on a ten percent return on our investments, right? Not quite. This figure leaves something important out of the picture – probabilities. And that in turn leads to false expectations. Let’s break that down.

In reality, the range of possible investment outcomes is unpredictable. Rather than a steady ten percent return, you’re much more likely to see a large number of highs and lows as rates ping up and down. This is something the average rate of return doesn’t capture. Consider the United States stock market. Some years, it grows at an astonishing clip – in recent times, it’s grown by 167 percent! Then there are sharp downturns. In some years, the stock market has contracted by 67 percent.

The range of positive and negative outcomes, in other words, is huge, especially in the first years after an investment. But here’s the good news: the longer you stick with your investment, the more this range diminishes. In the long run, you’re looking at a range of between, say, zero and twenty percent, though small losses can’t always be ruled out.

The lesson here is that it’s important not to get too excited by the early up-and-down swings in your stock’s value. Give it a couple of decades, and there’s a strong chance things will even out.

When it comes to finances, it’s important to keep a level head and remember that luck plays its part in the financial markets. Recognizing this and staying humble is a crucial part of becoming a successful investor, which is all about limiting risks and avoiding bad calls. Once you’ve done that, you can stack the odds in your favor by investing in simple, reliable schemes, and sticking with your investments over the long term.

Action plan: Diversify your investment portfolio.

As we’ve seen, luck plays a big part in financial investment, since it’s impossible to be sure which companies will grow and which will crash. If you expect an average ten percent return on your investment, and only invest in one company, you’re liable to find yourself in trouble if that firm crashes or underperforms. The alternative approach? Simple: hedge your bets and spread your investment over multiple companies. If one set of stocks goes bad, you’ve always got a safety buffer.

#A Guide To Managing Your Money.

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topicprinter · 7 years ago

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Research has shown that the fastest way to increase happiness is by becoming more grateful. This post will give you three scientific experiments to prove the importance of gratitude, then explain to you exactly how to become grateful, which will make you healthier and happier.All you need are these: certainty of judgment in the present moment; action for the common good in the present moment; and an attitude of gratitude in the present moment for anything that comes your way. — Marcus AureliusWhat Is Gratitude?When I think of gratitude I think of it as a way of living. It has been proven to benefit many (and some unexpected) areas of our lives - from health to happiness to the way we interact with others. I think because of its origin in Buddhism, I automatically associate it with mindfulness. Gratitude and mindfulness are very similar: focus on the present moment as well as appreciation for what we have now instead of always wanting more.Feeling and expressing gratitude shifts our focus onto the positive things in life, compensating for our brain's natural inclination to focus on threats and worries.Image.Because of this, gratitude creates positive emotions like joy, love, fulfilment which all undo the grip of negative emotions like anger, anxiety and sadness.The ProofThe world’s leading expert on gratitude is Dr. Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California. Dr Emmons examined the effects of writing gratitude diaries on almost 200 college undergraduates. Students were divided into three groups, and each group wrote 10 weekly diaries focusing on gratitude (blessings), hassles and annoyances, or neutral events. Those in the gratitude group were told:“There are many things in our lives, both large and small, that we might be grateful about. Think back over the past week and write down … up to five things in your life that you are grateful or thankful for.”At the end of 10 weeks, those in the gratitude group were feeling more positive about their lives as a whole, more optimistic about the upcoming week and spending more time exercising. Yet the gratitude group did not lead to a more positive mood, as the researchers had anticipated.Perhaps focusing on gratitude only once a week was not frequent enough to change mood. Therefore, the researchers conducted a second study which increased the frequency of the diaries to once daily (for two weeks).Results showed that, as the researchers had predicted, those in the gratitude condition experienced a more positive mood during the two-week period than those in the other groups, and they were also more likely to report doing acts of service, such as helping someone solve a problem or offering emotional support to others.The researchers then wanted to test the effect of gratitude on long term health. The third study asked 65 adults with neuromuscular disease either to write gratitude diaries for a 21-day period or to just fill in the assessments of mood, well-being, and health without actually having an intervention (control condition). Those in the gratitude condition also had their partners rate their mood and life satisfaction.Results showed that the gratitude group had more positive views of their life as a whole than control participants. They also reported a more positive mood and less negative mood on a daily basis during the study period. Their partners also reported that the gratitude participants had a more positive mood and greater satisfaction with life. With respect to health, the gratitude condition actually improved participants’ sleep — both amount and quality. Perhaps focusing on life’s blessings reduced the worry and angst that keep people awake at night.In summary, writing gratitude diaries seems to be beneficial no matter what. Just two or three weeks of filling out gratitude diaries each evening seems to improve mood, optimistic outlook, and life satisfaction, as well as making you more likely to help others. If you want to gain a health benefit from gratitude, you may need to persist with the diaries for two or three months. This practice takes only five or 10 minutes a day, but when done repetitively, reorients your mental compass towards focusing on the positive.How To Be More GratefulWhen I was researching for this, almost everything I read had a list something like "12 ways to become grateful". Just look at this Google search. It is now more clear to me than ever that writers don't care whether their readers actually implement the advice given: no one is going to pick one out of twelve and actually execute repetitively.So I told myself I wouldn't stop looking until I found the best way to become more grateful, and after using this method for a month I think I've found it.The five minute journal.Now, you don't have to purchase, you can do it all at home, but you should include all six features of the five-minute journal. The journal that Tim Ferris uses.This is my whole routine (includes gratitude practice).1. Inspiring QuotesYou can get inspiring quotes for free on Chrome, your Facebook timeline, or on your iPhone.2. Be GratefulQuality questions create a quality life. That's why I love questions like "What am I grateful for?". Write down, every day three things that you're grateful for. Then spend 2 minutes dwelling on these things, you see, you've gotta feel grateful not just logically grateful.This is a really important point so I'll elaborate a bit more. All that I've talked about, this whole "being grateful" thing is not a logical thing. You can't reason with your mind by saying "I'm better off that 99% of the world so I'm grateful" or "I have a nicer car than my brother so I'm grateful". You must feel grateful. I know this is weird, especially if you pride yourself on being a "logical man". But in this case, you've got to give that up and let yourself feel. So keep looking for things that you're grateful for until you feel it in your core.3. What Would Make Today Great?Now, I'm kind of going on a tangent away from Gratitude, but the five minute journal is such an incredible part of any morning routine that I'll just say exactly what I do every morning.Have you ever heard of the Reticular Activating System?It's the thing responsible for determining the lens through which you perceive reality.It's why anorexic people ignore all the evidence that says they're overweight and focus on the evidence that says they're overweight.When you ask yourself "What would make today great?" you are influencing your RAS to point out and engage in activities that will improve your wellbeing; you're building new pathways in your brain that allow you to "see" what you can do to improve your happiness every day.4. AffirmationUh oh, if I didn't scare you manly man away with the poem I've definitely scared you away now. Hear me out.Imagine for a moment you want to build more self-confidence.So, every day, you wake up and write down, “I’m confident and comfortable in my own skin.”On your way to work, you pass a beautiful stranger. Your eyes meet. They smile, flirtatiously. You return the favor.As you continue to about your day—and take note of more reference experiences that further your new belief—you comment to yourself, “Ah, this must be happening because I’m confident and comfortable in my own skin.”This isn’t fantasy; this is how you prime your brain to accept new beliefs.The Daily Affirmation is for this very purpose: to commit to writing the person you’re committed to becoming.Do this often enough, and in time, you become the very person you once wrote about.**5. (Evening) 3 Amazing Things Happened TodayThrough rigorous analysis of nearly 12,000 diary entries provided by 238 employees in 7 companies, Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer discovered a remarkable discovery:Employees who experienced consistently positive emotions, strong motivation and favorable perceptions of their organization were those who celebrated their small-wins.In their own words,"Our research inside companies revealed that the best way to motivate people, day in and day out, is by facilitating progress—even small wins."The best time to celebrate small-wins?In the evening before bed.A book recommendation from a friend. A beautiful walk in the park. The barista remembering how you like your cappuccino … there are countless small-wins in your life each day.Are you taking note of them?6. What Could I have done to make today better?Every evening, after putting his things in their place and enjoying a meal with friends, Benjamin Franklin would examine his day by asking an important question:“What good have I done today?”Similarly, in the Five-Minute Journal, you’re invited to ask yourself, “How could I have made today even better?”Here’s why:Let’s imagine, returning to the previous example of building more self-confidence, you wanted to approach the beautiful stranger you passed on your way to work, but couldn’t muster the courage.Maybe you didn’t know what to say. Or, you did, but your existing habit of shyness prevented you from doing so.In response to, “How could I have made today even better?”, you might write down, “I could have complimented them,” or, “I could have asked them their name.”Over time, completing exercises like the above shift how you look at obstacles and help you automatically take the action you actually want to take.FinTry this out - see the results. They only take a couple weeks to roll in.

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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