#grargh. anyway. good NIGHT

[skenpiel]

ok so that erm impromptu birthday celebration was fun but also. maybe some of the weirdest shit thats happened 2 me in awhile im gonna have to go through it all in order. first off it was at an irish pub and my uncles friend was like. a friend of the owners and he was irish so everyone was switching between languages all the time..... then i met my uncles mom (not the same as my grandma for the record) who IMMEDIATELY went "oh my god is your liver okay?????" and i was like ????? what do u mean. she was like all those painkillers you swallowed!!!! and i thought she was referencing an incident from a couple years ago and was like oh that was a long time ago im fine now haha. turns out she was talking about sometime when she babysat me when i was a TODDLER and i guess i somehow swallowed pain meds???? and she was like. still super worried about that even though it wasnt even a dangerous amount of medicine so like. lol. but then we got to talking and she asked about what i wanna be when i grow up.. i was like ohh i dunno im mostly just trying to finish school first and foremost. then we SOMEHOW got into talking about astrophysics (subject i love very much) and she got more excited than anyone i have EVER MET about that. she was squealing and stomping her feet and clapping her hands and rushing over the table to hug me and THANKING GOD i was like ???OK!!!!!!!!!??. and she leaned over to her friend and whispered, completely serious, "we need to bring her to the woods. satima, dont you think we need to bring her with us to the woods???" and Erm i guess it turns out they have hippie ass drum sessions in the woods and im apparently invited. she went on a whole spiel about how i needed to open my third eye like completely fully serious too. "your brain and intellect has invaded your third eye, you need to learn how to balance them..... here have some more wine btw". on the way back i found a dead mouse on the ground and then it turned out it WASNT DEAD and was STILL MOVING but seemingly near death and everyone gathered around and was like ohhh it feels so horrible to just leave him to die slowly like this :( and i was like. well does anyone have like a big rock or something then. i scooped it up in some box i found on the ground and moved it to the side of the road and this drunk ass irishman started talking about all the various animals thatd bitten him and how he was lucky to be alive after having been bitten by a rat. i was like. ok big pat (his name. also everything we ordered literally went to his tab, it was unreal) im sorry to hear about all your animal mishaps. he just went "ahhh they dont mean to bite ya they get scared but you shouldnt touch em" like yeah bro way ahead of you 👍. anyway this is a long ass post but everyone was SO WEIRD it was funny to watch. oh and by the way my uncles mom (the shaman lady because she apparently also works as a shaman) told a story about how she got in trouble while babysittig me once to the point where HER DAUGHTER had to scold her because she BIT MY HANDS. as she talked about it she was holding my hands and was like i just couldnt help myself they were so small and cute ^__^ i just wanted to GOBBLE THEM UP!!!!! at which point she brought my hands to her mouth and imitated gnawing sounds. like. ok so um. this lady BIT ME when i was a baby.....? and now she wants to bring me to the woods so i can open my third eye...??????? shes sami btw but she seems to be Erm sort of all over the place in terms of culture and religion. lmfao. annnnnd now im going 2 bed Bye 4ever

[green-fifteen]

Day 7: Kiss it Better

Prompt: Recovery Fandom: Teen Wolf Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Summary: Even a magical dad needs backup sometimes. Word count: 1,793 read on ao3 instead

written for @fluffyfebruary

The McCall house was full of people. They packed in together on the living room rug, leaned against the walls in the hallways, slid around each other in the kitchen to grab this or that. They spilled out of the door to the backyard, where John Stilinski and Chris Argent were not-so -passive aggressively fighting for control of the grilling spatula. Stiles couldn't believe they knew this many people, but he did recognize almost everyone he saw, with a few Argent exceptions.

His favorite (former) Argent was currently scrubbing a horrifically caked-on serving dish, muttering to herself about something he couldn't hear in the all of the party noise. Stiles, his hands and arms full of hot dog and hamburger buns, took pity on her. As Allison held the platter underwater, as if to drown it and be rid of it for good, he focused his gaze. It didn't take long for his magic to find the source of her problem and it scoured the baked-on food in an instant, as if it had never been there. She turned around to face him and almost grabbed him up in a hug before she noticed he was carrying bread. Thank you, you're amazing she mouthed instead.

These days, Stiles' magic was literally the ultimate household problem-solver. It seemed to have changed over the years as he settled and aged and now the things it did best basically amounted to chores. Cooking? Cleaning? Mysterious underwear stains? All he needed was a few seconds of focus and his magic could do it all.

Stiles waved away her thanks and continued outside to the patio, where the grill sat beside a pair of long white tables. There wasn't really any room for all the buns he held, so he just dropped them on top of some of the toppings, trusting the gathering of assorted mythical and/or magical beings to be able to open and use them for themselves. As he stood back, a shape darted out at his legs from beneath the tablecloth. Years of practice had honed his reflexes and he bent down to catch the beast just before it collided with his kneecaps.

"Grargh!" it cried, but its roaring dissolved into laughter as Stiles tucked it under one arm and began walking toward the woods that bordered the house on one side.

"I can't believe these creatures keep getting past my wards," he grumbled, letting out a frustrated huff. "Oh well." He set it down in the grass and nudged it with his foot. "Back to the woods with you, beast."

This time, the little thing jumped to tackle him, and Stiles let himself fall to the ground. "Oh no! Somebody, help!"

"Rarg! Graah!"

"I'm being mauled by a creature of the night!"

He continued wailing and being afraid for several moments, after which he seemed to find a second wind and pinned the little monster.

"I won't let you hurt any more innocent people," he cried, voice desperate and determined. "This is a birthday party!" And he reached down to tickle the creature's belly. It writhed in place, shrieking with laughter until suddenly it stopped. Stiles stopped too, watching its little face.

"Daddy," it said seriously. "I actually need to use the bathroom."

"Oh." Stiles climbed back to his feet and then lifted the little boy into his arms. Dry leaves and bits of grass clippings fell from their hair and clothes as they stood up.

"Do you need any help?" he asked.

"No. I can do it by myself," his son replied and then darted into the house.

"Patrick! No running on the patio," he called after him.

When he turned, his father was standing at his shoulder with a paper plate. "Grub time," he grunted. "Where's your husband? I bought cheddar dogs just for him and they're no good cold."

He shrugged and sighed. "He's supposed to be getting the cake but I think he got held up. He'll be here soon, just keep his food in the grill with the lid closed."

"Like I wasn't gonna do that anyway."

"Yes, yes, thank you, Dad."

At that moment, two things happened at once. Stiles heard glass break and turned his body toward the pool, where everyone seemed to have frozen in shock. Just as they started moving, everyone hurrying out of the water, he heard a second noise, one that kicked up his parental instincts the instant it hit his eardrums. Whirling around, he saw his kid sobbing on the concrete patio just in front of the sliding screen door, knee scraped up and beginning to bleed.

Without hesitation, he strode over to his son and hefted him into his arms. He was almost getting too heavy to be held like this and the screaming crying was happening way too close to his ear, but Stiles held on to him as he walked back over to the pool, trying to comfort him with soft words and rubbing his back.

Melissa McCall was pulling little kids out of the water, reassuring them gently that they'd be able to get back in soon. "You can't see shards of glass in the water," she said, voice gentle but firm. "You might really hurt yourself." As Stiles approached with his son, the kids looked up at him crying in pain and scrambled out as fast as they could.

Melissa met his eyes with a small smile, as if to say, Oh boy, what a mess.

Stiles could get the glass out of the pool. Without calling in a specialist or draining the pool, which would take too long, his magic was the only option if anyone wanted to use it again during the party. He looked at his son, gasping for breath where he was perched on his hip. Maybe he could calm him down and then come back to fix the pool? There was no way he'd be able to focus with him bleeding onto his jeans.

One thing at a time he told himself. He crouched down and pulled the little boy into his lap, rocking and shushing. "Really hurts, huh?" he murmured.

Patrick only wailed, tears and snot dripping down his face. Stiles heard another child start to cry somewhere nearby, likely startled by the glass breaking and only further upset by the sobbing Stiles had brought over the them. He was really starting to think, Those damn wolf powers would be pretty handy right about now and cursing his magic for being selectively useful, when a hand landed on his shoulder.

Derek was crouched on the balls of his feet just next to him, eyes fixed on Patrick's red face. To Stiles, he looked like an angel sent to rescue the both of them. He squeezed Stiles' shoulder lightly and then reached out for the boy.

"Hey, Pat," Derek said, gently. "Look, Pat, Papa's here."

Patrick's eyes flew open and he lunged forward into Derek's arms. Stiles fell back onto his hands and patted his husband's thigh in thanks. He could see black lines tracing their way up Derek's forearms, beginning with the little knee he held in one hand and traveling up under his sleeves. The pained wailing was already dropping off, replaced by Patrick's normal, more familiar fussing. Even that faded into the background as Derek walked them both over to the food table, kissing and soothing the little guy as he went.

Stiles turned back to the pool. It was the work of a few heartbeats to make it safe again-- he stared into the water and imagined he could hear the tinkling of the shards as molecules of water brushed over them. He imagined he saw their jagged edges glinting beneath the brighter gleam of the water's surface. Then-- blink-- suddenly he could see the fragmented pieces and he could hear the barely-there tinkling of water on glass. Focus came easily with something to fix it to and he let his magic free to find the problem. The pieces were gone in seconds.

"Alright!" he shouted. "Open swim!" The splashing started up again immediately and he had to scurry away to avoid being hit. Smiling, he made his way to the grill. His father was holding Patrick while Derek stood at the start of the condiment line with two paper plates, a burger on one and a cheddar-filled hot dog on the other.

Stiles stepped in close to him and kissed his bristly cheek. "You never stop saving my life," he chirped. Then, "Is that for me?"

"Yes." He handed Stiles the plate with the burger. "Sorry I was late, there was an issue at the bakery and then traffic was pretty bad on the way back."

Stiles tsked. "That's what we get for going to the bougie place for a five year old's birthday cake. Grocery store sheet cake next time."

"Agreed."

When they finished filling their plates and returned to their son, he was staring raptly at the sheriff, who was telling a story in big, exaggerated motions.

"And that's why you never peel off your band-aids, son," he was saying as they came within earshot.

When Patrick saw them, he squirmed out of John's hold to the ground and ran up to Stiles.

"Daddy," he said. "Papa made my leg feel better, but it still hurts. You have to kiss it so it heals and I don't get a bacterial infection." Stiles shot a bewildered look at his father, who only smiled serenely.

"Of course," he said, smiling when he looked back at his son, then planted a loud kiss to the skin just below the open wound. "Now it will heal all better in no time. No infections."

Patrick stood up and dashed away before Stiles could even process it, screeching and chasing one of his little playmates.

"Has he eaten yet?" Derek asked him. Stiles stood up cracked his back.

"He can eat later. Or maybe he'll just have cake for dinner. It's his birthday, who cares?"

Derek sighed but smiled and tugged Stiles into a hug. "I cares. You cares. We all cares when the birthday boy doesn't fall asleep tonight. And Daddy and Papa and Patrick all stay up doing jigsaw puzzles until midnight again."

"You love family puzzle time," Stiles counters, poking him in the ribs.

"Is there really nothing else you would rather do tonight?" He pushed his nose into the space behind Stiles' ear. "I haven't seen you all day." He breathed in a huge inhale.

"Quit sniffing me, my dad is standing right there." Stiles smacked him and pulled out of the embrace. "Fine, I'll go track down the beast. Make a plate for him?"

Derek hummed an agreement and Stiles took off after their kid.

[krizaland]

Dib x Male!Reader, but Zim also had feelings for y/n, maybe something similar to the Tak episode but Zim genuinely likes them

You got it, friend!!

Here is the song I used btw

Ever since your first day of Skool, you could tell right off the bat that both Zim and Dib liked you.

Zim was always blushing and stuttering around you. And Dib would cut his paranormal rants short the moment you walked into class.

It wasn’t long before you decided to talk to them.

You decided to start with Dib since he seemed easier to approach.

After sitting with him at lunch, you and Dib quickly became the best of friends.

You found his knowledge of the paranormal endearing and actually enjoyed going cryptid hunting together!

You never once called him weird nor creepy! Hell, you even stuck up for him whenever someone bullied him.

However, you drew the line at exposing Zim.

You felt like Dib was being a bit too hard on Zim.

Thus you decided it was finally time to talk to Zim.

Unfortunately, Dib was less than thrilled and would constantly try to keep you away from him.

Luckily the next day, Dib seemed to be absent.  As much as you hoped he was alright, you decided to use the opportunity to have a chat with Zim.

You found him sitting by himself at lunch.  He gave his lunch tray a sniff before recoiling in horror.

“Hey, can I sit with you?”

The sound of your voice caught Zim off guard.

“I’M PERFECTLY NORMAL!” Zim screeched as he jumped up onto the table.

“I…didn’t say you weren’t….”

“Oh, you didn’t? Well why else are you here Y/N-Beast?! Come to bring me to the Dib-monkey?!” Zim asked as he poked your chest.

“No! No! I’ve actually been trying to convince Dib to stop calling you an alien.” You explained gently.

“Eh? Really?” Zim’s eyes narrowed.

“Yes, really! I want to show him that you’re not an alien!” You confirmed with a nod.

“Well then, strangely attractive human-worm beast! I shall give you all the proof you need!”

And with that, Zim sat back down and picked up his spoon.

“Witness my perfectly normal bean-chewing!”

After making sure you were looking, Zim gingerly took a heaping spoonful of beans and slowly led it to his mouth.

His arm shook as his face begun to sweat. Zim fought back the urge to vomit as he shoved the beans into his mouth.

Zim sounded like he was dying as he struggled to choke down the beans.

“You see? I’m…perfectly..ACK!!!!”

You let out a gasp as Zim fell backwards out of his seat.

“Yummy….”  He whimpered weakly.

You rushed over to check on Zim and let out a gasp of horror!

There, sprawled out on the floor, was a horrifically disfigured Zim.

His head was so swollen it throbbed as a glowing green substance oozed out of it!  Zim’s breathing was heavy as his worm like tongue hung out of his mouth.

“Oh god! Zim!”

Without thinking, you dove behind the table, scooped up Zim, and rushed him out of the lunchroom.

“Don’t worry, Zim! I’ll get you to the nurse! She’ll know what to do!” You reassured as you kept running.

“No…Nurse….”

Zim’s words made you stop dead in your tracks.

“No nurse?”

“Take me….to…locker……” Zim begged as he coughed up more ooze.

“Ohh-kay then…”

After bringing Zim to his locker, Zim slid out of your arms, opened it, and pulled out a large strange-looking pump.

Before you could even blink, Zim put the pump on his head.

SLURP! SLURP! SLURP!

The pump slowly drained the ooze from Zim’s head and emptied it into a clear container.

Zim panted as he removed the pump and pulled out a can of soda from his PAK.

“Are you ok?” You asked as you gave Zim a concerned look.

“Of course I am! Zim is always fine-” Zim took a sip of his soda- “I just simply had a perfectly normal human allergic reaction!”

“Err…Ok then… Are you sure you don’t need to see the nurse?”

Zim quickly finished his soda before acknowledging your question.

“What? Oh right! Worry not, Y/N-beast! Zim is perfectly fine! No need to get the nurse involved.” Zim’s voice quivered as he flicked his wrists.

“Well glad to see you’re ok. I guess this happens to you a lot since you have that pump thingy,” You noted as you rubbed the back of your head.

“Yep but thanks to my SUPERIOR healing skills I recover quickly!” Zim boasted as he put a hand on his chest.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at Zim’s over the top behavior.

You decided to hang out with Zim for the rest of the day.  

Zim was actually a very interesting guy! He even shared your sense of humor!

You couldn’t understand why Dib kept accusing Zim of being an alien. If anything, Zim was just a little weird. Being weird doesn’t make anyone an alien right?

Zim found himself growing fond of you as well!

He hadn’t expected a human to be so interesting! Let alone so attractive and kind!

The longer he talked with you the more Zim’s PAK sparked!  

His feelings were scary and confusing but Zim never wanted them to go away!

No matter how his squeedillyspooch fluttered, Zim just couldn’t resist you!

Zim found himself wanting you to stay by his side longer and longer!

When the Skool day came to an end, Zim practically floated all the way back to his base.

“Gah! Look at me! I’m feeling all…tingly..and sparky! I’m becoming weak….Y/N must’ve given me some kind of Urth illness!” Zim threw off his disguise,  “Computer! Preform a bioscan for any illnesses!”

“SCANNING….SCANNING!!!!”

ZAP!

“BIOSCAN COMPLETE! NO ILLNESSES FOUND!”

“WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE! Why else would I be feeling all…mushy and stuff?!” Zim whined as he gestured to himself.

“I DON’T KNOW…MAYBE YOU JUST LIKE Y/N?”

“LIES!!! I-”

“Nya!”

Zim was cut off by Minimoose’s tiny voice piping up.

“Eh? How can having FILTHY FEELINGS for Y/N possibly be a good thing?!” Zim demanded as he shot Minimoose a glare.

Minimoose was unfazed by their Master’s outburst.

“Nya!”

“Use Y/N to help keep up appearances?” Zim hummed as a large grin spread across his face.

“Yes….That just might work!”

The next day, you told Dib everything that had happened at lunchtime.

“Y/N! How could you help him?! He was probably trying to trick you or something!” Dib scolded as he threw his hands into the air.

“Dib, I couldn’t just let him leak all that goo everywhere!” You huffed as you folded your arms.

“Did you at least get any-HEY!”

Dib was cut off by Zim shoving him aside

“Y/N-Beast! I have come to offer you the most AMAZING opportunity you will ever receive in your inferior human existence!” Zim announced dramatically as he pointed to the ceiling.

Caught off guard by Zim’s interruption, you simply blinked in surprise.

“From the moment we’ve met you’ve proven yourself to be a worthy ally! Your physical appearance is pleasing and I can tolerate your presence! Therefore I now bestow upon you the honor of being MY LOVE PIG!” Zim sang as he threw his hands into the air.

You opened your mouth to speak but Dib piped up.

“NO! Y/N! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! IT’S PROBABLY A TRAP!” Dib wailed as he sprung in front of you.

“TRAP?! I can assure you this offer is no trap! Y/N, YOU are the only one worthy of being my love pig” Zim cleared his throat, “So what do you say?”

You tired to speak but yet again, Dib cut you off.

“He says no! You can pick on me, Zim but I won’t let you hurt Y/N! I care about him far too much!” Dib snarled as he jammed a finger into Zim’s chest.

“YOU DARE SUGGEST THAT I WOULD HURT Y/N?! I’M OFFENDED YOU WOULD EVEN THINK I WOULD DO SUCH A THING!” Zim roared as he swatted Dib’s hand away.

“Why do you care so much about Y/N anyway?! I thought your kind didn’t need anyone!” Dib growled.

“I think the real question is why do you care about Y/N so much, Dib-worm?!” Zim snapped as he snapped a finger in Dib’s face.

“Because I…..Because I….” Dib trailed off as his words got caught in his throat.

“Because you what?”

“Because I love him ok?!” Dib gasped as he quickly clamped his hands over his mouth.

You nearly stumbled backwards at the confession while Zim simply stared at Dib incredulously.

Zim shook away his shock and let out a giggle. The giggle grew and grew until he burst into a full on fit of laughter.

Dib’s face glowed bright red as he tried to sink into his coat.

“Oh, you hideous fool! You can’t possibly love Y/N!” Zim wheezed as he wiped away a few tears.

“Oh yeah?! And just why not?!”

“Because I love Y/N more than your big smelly head can comprehend!” Zim cackled as he threw his hands in the air.

“No way! I love Y/N more! You probably don’t even know what love is!” Dib snarled as he glared into Zim’s eyes.

“GRARGH!! I LOVE Y/N MORE AND I CAN PROVE IT!”

Before Dib could say another word Zim trotted up to you and cleared his throat.

“Conquering worlds is what makes me feel alive! It’s the life I decide as I destroy everything in sight! But when I’m by your side, your voice sounds ever so kind. It’s what’s guiding me and gives me peace of mind!”

Zim gave you a wink before dramatically putting a hand on his forehead.

He imagined himself as the ruler of Urth as flames rained down from the sky!

“Doom from above is all that I’m dreaming of! But you showed me a world beyond the skies that I can touch! From that day ever more I felt my insides so brightly beating! Bursting with this lovey-dovey feeling now!”

The flames turned into heart bubbles as Zim’s fantasy came to an end.

Zim took your hands in his and gently spun you around.

“All I need to survive is to be right by your side! It’s the pulse through the night that sets my soul alight! Can’t believe even me could laugh on so easily as I’m taken by the beat in the quantum breeze!”

Zim tried to twirl you into his arms only to find that Dib had pulled you out of his grip.

Zim let out a low growl as he tried to glare in Dib’s direction, only to gasp as Dib darted down the hall with you in tow.

Once Dib was certain you and he were far enough away from Zim, he took your hands in his and gazed into your eyes.

“All that I know is that I hate being alone. Cause wherever I go there’s the fear I’ll end up on my own so, Right by my side take my hand and hold it tight. Cause it’s you that is guiding me and gives me peace of mind!”

Dib hung his head low as he remembered how poorly he was treated by his peers and his family.

“When I’m all alone I’m just nothing but a joke, but you gave me hope and validation even so!”

Dib’s face lit up as he looked back up at you.

“From that day ever more I felt my heart so brightly beating bursting with this lovey-dovey feeling now!”

Dib gripped your hands tighter and pulled them closer to his chest.

“All I need to survive is to be right by your side! It’s the pulse through the night that sets my heart alight! Can’t believe even me could laugh on so easily as I’m taken by the beat in the quantum breeze!”

You opened your mouth to speak again when-

FWOOM!

Zim had activated his PAK’s jets and was zooming down the hall.

Before you could even process what was happening, Zim scooped you up and made his getaway.

“Hey! Let Y/N go, Zim!” Dib demanded as he chased after him.

“Ha! Now you’re all- ACK!”

CLANG!

Zim crashed into a nearby pole, causing you to fall out of his arms.

“Don’t worry, Y/N! I’ve got you!” Dib reassured as he quickly caught you.

“T-Thanks for the save…” Was all you could utter as your mind struggled to process what was happening.

“Let’s get you to safety.”

And with that, Dib ran as fast as his legs could take him.

Unfortunately, Zim quickly peeled himself off of the pole and followed suit.

“RETURN MY Y/N YOU INFERIOR STINK WORM!!”  Zim roared as he picked up the pace.

Dib was unfazed by Zim’s threats and continued running.

He swerved around poles, he jumped over random pieces of trash on the floor, and he even plowed by the other students.

Zim struggled to dodge the obstacles but continued his chase.

Eventually Dib found himself running out of breath.

He stopped behind a locker to catch his breath before looking down at you.

“All I need to survive is to be right by your side. it’s the pulse through the night that sets my heart alight-”

SWIPE!

Zim swooped in and snatched you out of Dib’s arms.

“Can’t believe even me could laugh on so easily! Like an angel in the sky flying high and free!”

Dib let out a growl and tried to out-sing Zim as he gave chase once more.

“All I need to survive is to be right by your side! It’s the pulse through the night that sets my heart alight! Can’t believe even me could laugh on so easily as I’m taken by the beat in the quantum breeze!”

Eventually, Dib managed to chase Zim into a corner.

“It’s over, Zim! There’s nowhere left for you to hide!” Dib announced dramatically.

Zim opened his mouth to speak but you finally managed to get a word in

“STOP!!! Guys! I love you both ok?! Can’t you guys just share me or something?!”

“WHAT?!” Zim and Dib exclaimed simultaneously.

“ME?! SHARE WITH THE HORRIBLE DIB-STINK?! NEVER!” Zim snarled as he clung to you protectively.

“Y/N! Have you gone crazy?! There’s no way I’ll share with an evil alien monster!” Dib snarled as he folded his arms.

“Either you two share me or I won’t date either of you!” You threatened and you turned up your nose.

Zim and Dib exchanged horrified looks.

“Ugh! Fine! I’ll share you with Zim…” Dib sighed as he hung his head.

“What about you, Zim?” You asked sweetly.

Zim growled for a moment  before his face softened a bit.

“Oh-kay….But I get to hold your superior hand!”

“Great! Can you put me down now?” You asked gently.

“Oh yeah, of course.” Zim muttered casually as he slowly landed and released you from his grip.

You wobbled a bit as you regained your balance.

“Thanks for being such good sports, guys! I promise neither of you will regret this!”

And with that, you pulled Zim and Dib into a group hug and gave them each a kiss on the cheek.