#granted the putting at ease with shooting the shit probably helped a lot

[maximumgayce]

im not gonna add it to the post even in the tags but when i had my iud fitted i didn't feel. any pain. at all. only thing i had was some light spotting for a couple days afterwards and its... huh? for a lot of people that thing hurt???

[lottiebagleywritesobx]

Love Language

At the time they'd made it the language had felt like no one would ever be able to understand it.

They were only 9 and JJ had been granted permission to stay at her house, her parents used to be around a lot, although they weren't anymore, and they'd always welcomed her blonde best friend leading to his near constant presence at their home.

It was late for two kids, maybe 10 pm, and they'd been wrapped in blankets in her box sized room that felt so much bigger when they were young.

They always got each other in a way no one else understood for reasons way more complex than a secret language they would use to write each other messages, but at 9, all they needed to know was that the language was another thing that tied them together.

It was simple: to spell a word you combine the first letters of the other words.

So to write Hello  you would write Hungry Elephants Love Lollipops Okay

It had stuck a lot at first, they used it everyday and it drove Pope and John B insane, but as they got older it died out.

It was used a few times at 12 when they had an annoying teacher who made students read notes out if they were caught passing them, to everyone else it sounded like gibberish.

It was used once at 15, the world help spelled out when an older Kook boy wouldn't leave her alone and she knew he was reading her phone screen over her shoulder, not wanting to trigger him.

Now, at 17, she had laughed out loud when she'd unfolded the note tucked into her locker.

In JJ's scrawl that only she could read with ease.

 Ukraine

Rollercoaster

Penguin Ranch Eyelash Tractor Tangerine Yoghurt

You are pretty. She blushed a little, looking around for any sign of the familiar blonde boy but he was nowhere to be seen, she tucked the note into her bag, hating the way he made her heart race, before shoving the books she didn't need over the weekend into her locker and walking down the corridor and out of the front doors.

When she arrived at the twinkie her friends were already there "Took your time," John B smirks from his open window, occupying the front seat

"She was probably busy flirting with Mack," Sarah teases from the passenger side

"For the last time Sarah, he just needed tutoring in bio,"

"You are shit at bio," Sarah smirks even wider

"Better than you sweetheart," The girl grins, climbing into the back and diving out of Sarah's reach as she moves to try and flick her. Both girls laughing loudly

"I'll get the door then," Pope chides

"Thanks P, i can't get too close  or Sarah will attack me," She grins, Pope rolls his eyes but sends her a grin as he leans forwards to pull the door to the twinkie closed.

She moves through the seats to her usual space, she always sat next to JJ, no matter what. They could be drinking at the chateau, relaxing at the beach, adventuring on the boat. No matter what they were next to each other. It wasn't uncommon when one of them was feeling tired, or clingy, or touch starved for her to end up in his lap, his arms wrapped around her stomach and his chin on her shoulder.

She leans up pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, it wasn't uncommon in their friendship, often used as a greeting, a thanks or even just out of the blue, and so the other's don't think anything of it even though JJ feels himself melting into a puddle. What is a little different though is the way she grabs his hand giving it a tight squeeze before pulling her own away and settling down in her seat as John B starts up the van. He knows what it is. It's a silent thanks for the note, not wanting to say anything in front of their friends but it was a sign she got it and she was grateful for it.

He wraps his arm around her shoulder, his touch gentle but Pope gives him a knowing look, the touch is supposed to claim her. She either doesn't notice or  doesn't seem to mind though, instead leaning into his now open side as she chats happily with Kie.

**

It's monday morning and JJ is in first period history. He fucking hates history, yet, it had become his favourite subject simply because it was the only one all 6 pogues shared. He opens his school bag with sigh, placing the textbook on his desk and starting to fish around the bottom of the bag for a loose pen.

Pope turns around from the seat in front of him, placing a pen on his desk with a knowing smile. JJ drops his bag to the floor, opening the text book only for a note to fall out.

Her neat writing fills the page and the smile on his face is immediate.

Umbrella

Rocket

Happy Ant Neck Drop Surf Olive Mars Egg

JJ tries to ignore the feeling of a red hot blush creeping up his neck as he turns to look at the next desk along, she's already looking at him with a smirk shooting him a week before turning to face the front, god if JJ can't feel himself falling.

**

It continues for weeks.

Tucked into the wind screen wiper of her old shitty truck.

Taped to the sandwiches she would bring him to lunch.

On her pillow when she went to bed one night.

Stuffed into the pocket of the hoodie she borrowed.

Her school bag.

The bathroom mirror at the chateau.

They both started to home a large collection of notes. Her's placed neatly in a drawer in her bedroom. His tucked in a box under the floor board that lifts up in the room he claims as his at the chateau.

**

"What you writing?" John B questions as he steps onto the porch

"Just a note for y/n,"

"You guys have been passing a lot of secret notes recently," John B comments, JJ shrugs placing the pen down "It's sweet,"

"What d'ya mean by that?" JJ questions, John raises his eyebrows giving JJ a knowing look before having a realisation.

"You still haven't told her you're head over heels in love with her?"

"No," JJ admits, he was way past his days of fighting back when his friends accused him of being in love with her. "I don't know how to. You know me, I never say things right and I just- I really don't want to fuck this up. Only got one shot at it,"

"So write it," John B shrugs like it's obvious

"I can't,"

"You can,"

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

"JJ, you're the most annoying person I know and she puts up with you all the time and has done since you were 2 . She feels the same,"

**

She's only wearing a bikini and a tshirt that belongs to JJ when she exits her house on Saturday morning. Her plans to meet at the Chateau go surfing with Kie already made, she grabs her board and at first she doesn't even notice it, attached to the cool box full of water and fruit she'd loaded up the night before is a note.

Ice

Art Magic

Igloo Note

London Orange Venus Elephant

Wine Ill Tiger Hungry

Yam One Under

It takes less than a minute for her to decipher the note, abandoning her surf board and the cooler in favour of sprinting to the Cheateau.

JJ is seemingly waiting for her when she arrives, he's pacing in front of the house, going still the second he sees her.

"Are you kidding?" She questions, he's stares, eyes wide not quite able to process why she looks so hopeful. "Because JJ, if this is some fucked up joke I will literally never speak to you again,"

"It's not a joke," He assures

"It's not?" She questions, it's het turn to still, having expected to arrive for him to laugh and ruffle her hair like he was her brother.

"No. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since we were 12 and you stole my cap and started wearing it everyday,"

"We were 14 and you snuck into my room because my parents were fighting and you read harry potter to me cause you knew my parents used to," She states

He nods, now it was all out there in the open neither of them quite knew what to do.

"For fucks sake kiss already!" Pope shouts, they turn seeing all the pogues watching them from the porch.

JJ looks at her, an unspoken question in his eyes. "Just promise me if this all goes tits up we will be friends, cause I can't loose you maybank,"

He holds his pinky out, smiling as she loops her with his and squeezes slightly. He pulls her into his chest with their pinkies. Lips crashing onto hers, spare holding her closer to him by the small of her back. Her empty hand moving to play with the blonde curls she's wanted to run her fingers through a thousand times. Their pinkies stay linked by their side, his thumb stroking at her hands lightly.

Yeah, she'd be keeping the note he left in there little love language.

[ves-is-writing-bnha-again]

Just Like That (Hitoshi Shinsou)

@myherowritings​ this is all your fault. You knew this was coming. If you haven’t read her “You Suck At Gaming” series do it. You won’t be disappointed I promise.

Summary: Y/n needed some help learning how to not suck at gaming. Shinsou is willing to help. 

Warnings: Smut. Plain and Simple. Little bit of plot if you squint.

“So you’ll really help me?” You asked, looking up at the purple haired man in front of you.

“Of course.” He replied with a lazy smirk.

You two had decided to meet up at a cafe. It wasn’t a very popular one so not a lot of people went to it meaning neither of you would be recognized.

Your eyes lit up at his response, “Great! So when do you think we could meet up again?”

“When are you next available?” He asked you, taking a sip of his black coffee (fight me) as he leaned back in his seat. You unlocked your phone and looked at your calendar. 

“Um I have a livestream with Denki tomorrow but we could meet up at my place after if you want?” You offered and he nodded, “Yeah, I don’t have anything planned for tomorrow.” He agreed and you grinned.

“Yay!” You cheered and he let out a short laugh, “You are almost way too cheerful.” He said and you stuck your tongue out at him, “Just cause you’re a grumpy eboy all the time doesn’t mean other people can’t be happy.”

“I’m not an eboy.”

“Okay fine. As I said on Twitter. Daddy it is then.”

“Alright then, kitten.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, Y/n got any plans after I leave or are you gonna be lonely like you always are.” Denki joked during you guys’ livestream.

“Actually Shinsou’s coming over to help me get better at gaming.” You stated and Denki choked on his tea.

“What?” He said between coughs.

“I said what I said.” You told him as you pat his back. He finally stopped coughing and cleared his throat, “You sure he’s coming over to help you with gaming? He doesn’t have any… hidden intentions?” He asked, winking at you and nudging you suggestively.

You gasped, slapping his arm lightly, “It is nothing like that. I asked him to help me and he agreed plain and simple.”

“Yeah, he agreed but how do you know he didn’t agree in hopes of getting something else in return?” Denki asked, looking at you with raised eyebrows over the side of his mug as he sipped his tea.

“Well would you look at the time! It’s been an hour and a half! Livestream is now over goodbye Denki!” You said, shoving him off the couch right as he set down the mug.

You waved and said goodbye to everyone watching before ending the stream and putting everything away.

“You can deny it all you want Y/n but I can tell that gaming isn’t the only thing that will happen with you two. Alone. Here in this empty apartment. Just the two of you. Nobody to bother you.” He said, laughing as you pushed him towards the door.

“Bye!” You said, slamming the door in his face. You could hear him cackling as he left. His laughter growing quieter as he moved farther away.

You grabbed the empty mug up off the coffee table and went over to the kitchen to rinse it out.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door.

Thinking it was Denki being a dumbass and he probably forgot something, you swung the door open.

Only it wasn’t Denki. It was Shinsou.

“Why was Kaminari laughing when he saw me?” He asked suspiciously, thinking that maybe you two were talking about him.

“Oh  don’t worry about him, he’s an idiot. Please come in.” You smiled at him as you moved out of the way for him to enter.

He came in and saw that the couch was still a bit of a mess from you and Denki being stupid earlier

“You two have fun?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you as you came over to him.

“Uh yeah. We literally just ended the stream less than ten minutes ago so I still haven’t completely cleaned up yet.” You said, sighing as you looked at the mess. Most of it being Denki’s fault, but he bailed instead of helping you clean. Granted, you shoved him out of your apartment, but he never offered to try and come back in to help.

“Well you can focus on that later. Where else can we do this?” He asked you and you paused for a second.

“Uhh… the only other console I have is in my room…” You said and he shrugged, “Well let’s go up there than.” He said.

You nodded and started heading towards the stairs, him following close behind.

Denki’s words started floating around in your head suddenly.

‘I can tell that gaming isn’t the only thing that will happen with you two’

You shook your head slightly to get rid of the thoughts. He was helping you get better at gaming. He was only here to help you.

Right?

“You’ve been quiet.” Shinsou said suddenly and you jumped a bit, “Sorry, just thinking about something.” You replied.

He eyed you for a second, “Something? Or someone?” He asked, that same lazy smirk from yesterday reappearing on his face.

“It’s nothing don’t worry about it.” You told him with a smile as you opened the door to your room, “Anyway here we are. Console is right there.” You said, pointing at the console that sat on your tv stand across from your bed.

He sat down at the edge of your bed as you turned on the tv and console and grabbed two controllers before sitting down next to him.

“Let’s start with Overwatch. Since that was the one you sucked at the most.” He said with that same damn smirk on his face.

“Okay.” You said, luckily the game was already in, since you had forgotten to take it out.

“You started up a match and within ten minutes not only had you killed about half your team mates, but you died as well.

Shinsou huffed in amusement, “Wow you suck even more in person.” He stated and you pouted, “It’s not my fault the game is hard.” You said in defense.

“Let me see that for a moment.” He said before taking the controller from you. He started up a new match and twenty minutes later he won. He looked at you with a cocky smile, “Didn’t seem that hard to me.” He teased.

You stuck your tongue out at him.

“Eboy…” You muttered, “What was that?” He asked, starting up a new round, “Nothing.” You said, watching as he killed the other team with ease.

The round ended a few minutes later and he handed you the controller.

“Come here” He said, patting his leg.

“What?” You asked him incredulously.

“Come here. It’s easier to show you what buttons to press if you’re sitting on my lap.” He said.

You hesitated for a second. Denki’s words floating around in your head again before you thought to yourself ‘fuck it’ 

You moved over to him and he pulled you onto his lap and had you sit so that you were both facing the tv.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, putting his hands over yours on the controller.

He started explaining the buttons and what to press when, but you couldn’t focus cause holy shit he was warm.

You were so distracted that you didn’t hear him calling you.

“Y/n.” He said, nudging you. You snapped out of your daze, “Huh?” You asked and he huffed, “Were you even listening?” He asked and you nodded quickly, “Yeah I was.” You lied. You were definitely not listening.

He stared at you for a second before smirking, “Alright then. Let’s start a new match and see how you do.” He said and before you could protest he had already started it.

You died within two minutes.

“Hmm seems you weren’t listening like you said you were huh kitten?” He asked, looking at you, knowing fully well you lied.

“I was listening! I just…panicked.” You claimed.

“Is that so kitten? You weren’t…distracted?” He asked, leaning closer to the side of your face. You could feel your face heating up at how close he was.

Your lack of response seemed to amuse yet annoy him at the same time, “Well? Aren;t you going to defend your pride like you usually do?” He asked smugly, knowing fully well what he was doing to you.

“Umm let’s…let’s do another round.” You said, voice slightly shaky, “Can you…can you explain everything again?” You asked him and he grinned, “Of course.” He said and went over the buttons again. This time you actually listened. Kind of.

Another round started and this time your were actually doing a decent job of not killing your team mates or dying.

Just as you were shooting at one of the enemies you felt something brush between your legs. You jumped slightly, since you weren’t expecting it, and you heard a really quiet groan come from Shinsou but when you looked at him he was still looking at the tv with a straight face.

When you looked back at the screen you realized you had died.

“Looks like you lost again Kitten.” He said as he looked at you and you pouted, “You distracted me!” You argued and he smirked, “I did no such thing.” He said, watching the annoyance start to show on your face.

“Yes you did! You….you…” You said but started to trail off, too embarrassed to say it.

“Did what? This?” He asked before brushing against you again, causing you to gasp slightly as his smirk grew.

“Yes that. Don’t do that it’s distracting.” You said, voice shaking again.

“Why? Do you like it? Is that why it’s distracting?” He asked, taking two fingers and lightly rubbing you over your jeans.

You jolted slightly as a whimper escaped your lips.

“Shinsou please.” You whined as he leaned closer to your neck, “Do you want me to stop?” He asked and you shook your head, “No.”

“Well then.” He suddenly stopped and you whined, “Let’s do another much and if you do well I’ll keep going.” He said, leaving a light kiss on your neck.

“Go on.” He said, hitting start on the game and a new match started loading.

“Shinsou-” “Shhhh don’t worry kitten I won’t leave you hanging.” He said as the match started. Although you were trembling slightly, you did manage to last longer than before, especially since Shinsou refrained from touching you this time.

Granted, you still died, but you did put up a decent fight, and apparently Shinsou thought that was good enough. That or he was just getting impatient.

His hand found itself between your legs again and this time he applied more pressure than before. You squealed slightly and whimpered.

“You did such a good job kitten.” He said, peppering kisses along your neck.

Your hips bucked slightly against his fingers, causing you to grind against him, but you weren’t paying much attention. At least not until you noticed the growing bulge pressing against you.

You ground aginst him again and he groaned before wrapping his other arm tightly around your waist, holding you in place so you couldn’t move.

His lips moved up to your ear, “You’re a naughty little kitten aren’t you? Rubbing yourself against me like that. Are you that desperate kitten? Are you that desperate for me to touch you?” He asked lowly and you whimpered.

“Shinsou please.” You begged and you felt more pressure. 

“Shit kitten I love hearing you talk like that.” He groaned.

He started unbuttoning your jeans and the second he did so he slipped his hand in and started rubbing circles on your clit over your underwear. You whined and moaned softly.

“Do you like that kitten?” He asked you, his warm breath fanning on your ear.

You nodded, not trusting your words. His left arm kept you from moving still and you gripped it with your hand as the other held on to his right wrist as he applied more pressure.

Suddenly he stopped.

“No!” You cried as he removed his arm from around your waist.

“Stand up.” He demanded and you looked at him, confused, “What?” You asked, still slightly dazed.

“Stand up for me kitten.” He stated and you did so, your legs shaking slightly as you stood in front of him.

He turned you around and unzipped your jeans the rest of the way before sliding them down your legs. He glanced at your black lace underwear for a second and noticed they were soaked.

“Fuck kitten you’re already so wet and I haven’t even done anything yet.” He said, running the tips of his fingers up the sides of your thighs before hooking his fingers into the waistband and sliding them down your legs.

You kicked them off along with your jeans and he looked at you, “Shirt.” He said and you already knew what he meant.

Slipping your shirt over your head, you felt his warm hands run across your sides as he reached behind you to unclip your bra before discarding that with the rest of your clothing.

“Fuck.” He breathed as his eyes scanned over you. 

“Come here.” He said, moving farther up your bed to your pillows, motioning for you to join him.

Climbing onto the bed with him he grabbed your hips and moved you to hover over his lap before he guided you farther up as he laid down until you were hovering over his face.

He looked up at you for a brief moment to make sure you were okay with it before leaning forward and licking a long stripe up your slit.

You let out a loud moan and gripped the headboard as he lapped at your slit.

His lips wrapped around your clit and he sucked harshly causing you to run you hand through his hair and tug on it. He groaned at that as his hands tightened their grip on your hips to keep you from moving. The vibrations from him caused you to moan again as he sucked at your clit, occasionally going down and slipping into your heat before coming back up.

You felt one of his fingers prod at your entrance before slipping in and you whined at the intrusion. 

He started a fast pace, adding in another one as he went. Then another. You were shaking at this point. He curled his fingers in a ‘come here’ motion and you jolted as he brushed against that one special spot and you saw stars.

You were groaning and saying his name like a mantra and it was like music to her ears. He kept his relentless pace, not giving you a chance to calm down, and when you started clenching around his fingers he knew you were close. He started sucking more harshly at your clit as his fingers moved more rapidly inside you, bringing you closer and closer until you released all over his fingers and face with a squeal.

He moved you off of him and pinned you to the bed, “Did you think we were finished?” He asked lowly as he scanned over you again. You were panting heavily as a very thin layer of sweat made your skin glisten slightly.

He sat up on his knees, pulling off his shirt and throwing it somewhere in the room before standing and undoing the belt on his jeans and sliding them off leaving him in his black boxers.

You sat up as he took them off before coming back to you. Before he could get back on the bed, you stopped him.

He looked at you questioningly for a second before groaning at the feeling of your hand wrapping around him. You were amazed at his size and wondered how the hell he would even fit considering your fingers weren’t even touching.

Without any warning you leaned forward and licked the tip lightly causing him to groan slightly. He weaved his fingers into your hair and tugged on it as you wrapped your lips around the tip, sucking slightly as your hand stayed wrapped around the base. Your other hand came up to rest against his thigh and pull him closer to you as you lowered your head, taking more of him into your mouth. The tip hit the back of your throat and you gagged slightly but kept going until your nose brushed against him.

Gagging slightly, you started bobbing your head, hallowing your cheeks as you rested both hands on the back of his thighs to keep him in place, your nails digging into his skin slightly.

His hand tugged harder on your hair and you moaned which caused him to do the same.

“Oh fuck kitten just like that. Just like that baby. Fuck.” He said, his hips bucking into your mouth slightly as his other hand weaved through your hair.

You looked up at him to see his head was leaning back as his eyes were squeezed shut and his lips were parted.

You hummed around him which caused him to curse as he gripped the back of your head and start bucking his hips more.

You held onto his thighs tight to keep your balance as he practically fucked your mouth.

“Fuuuck kitten.” He moaned as his hips thrusted more.

He managed to open his eyes and look at you.

“Look at you kitten.” He panted as his thumb stroked your cheek, “You look so pretty sucking my cock like that. It makes me wonder how you’ll look when I stuff it in your little pussy later.” He groaned and you nearly came at his words alone.

“Is that- oh fuck- what you want kitten? You want me to..hah.. stuff you with my cock? Rail you into the mattress and fill you up with my cum? Would you like that?” He asked, panting heavily between each sentence. You moaned around him and he smirked, “I bet you would like that wouldn’t you?”

He pulled himself out of your mouth, a thin string of saliva connecting your lips and his tip.

“Get on the bed and lay on your back kitten.” He demanded and you scrambled up and onto the bed, doing exactly as he said. He climbed over you so his face was level with yours.

He placed one hand on the back of your neck and pulled you up into a deep kiss before pulling away, “My kitten.” He said as he lined himself up before thrusting in completely.

Your head fell back as your lips parted in a silent scream as he as he gave you a few seconds to adjust then began a fast pace.

His hands gripped your hips and you were sure there would be bruises tomorrow but you didn’t care as his hips snapped harshly into yours.

you wrapped your legs around his waist, bring him closer to you as your arms wrapped loosely around his neck.

“Shinsou.” You whined as you buried your face into his neck.

“Hitoshi.” He panted, “Please call me that.” He begged as one arm came up to lay next to your head.

“Hitoshi!” You cried and he cursed.

You didn’t think it was possible but he started going faster after you said his name and moaned louder when he hit a spot you didn’t even know existed.

“Fuck, There! Right there! Please!” You begged and he angled his hips so he’d keep hitting it.

All that could be heard was the echoes of moans, groans, and skin slapping against skin.

You gripped his back, scratching down it causing him to hiss slightly in pain but it was quickly forgotten about as he pounded you into the mattress just like he said he would. He started leaving hickeys on your neck, taking advantage of the space provided from your head being thrown back as you cried out.

He suddenly sat up and gripped your hips tighter than before as he thrusted into you at a different angle which caused him to go deeper.

Your moans encouraged him to keep going as you cried out his name like it was the only word you knew.

“Fuck kitten you’re so damn tight.” He panted, “You look so pretty stuffed with my cock. I could get used to seeing you like this.” He said, a smug smile tugging at his lips.

He reached down and rubbed at your clit again which caused you to clench around him which left him breathless for a moment.

You whimpered, “Hitoshi fuck I’m so close. Please.” You begged and he grinned smugly, “Are you gonna cum kitten? Are you gonna cum around my cock like a good little kitten?” He asked, his thrusts becoming irregular as he got closer himself.

“Yes! Yes, please let me cum please!” You cried and his grin widened.

“Come on kitten. Cum for me.” He cooed as he kept thrusting harshly into you.

You clenched around him tighter than ever as you came with a scream and cry of his name. He gripped your hips as tight as possible as he buried himself in you as far as he could go and unloaded inside you, making you feel warm.

He kept thrusting lightly, easing both of you down from your high before pulling out of you, watching his cum drip out of you slightly before getting up and finding your bathroom, which he had seen earlier, and coming back with a wet washcloth.

He cleaned you up and picked you up, placing you back down so your head was laying on the pillows and threw a blanket over you. He climbed in on the other side and pulled you closer to his before grabbing your hand and placing soft and light kisses along your knuckles and fingers, both of you still slightly dazed and growing tired

“My kitten.” He mumbled sleepily as he looked at you, “Your kitten.” You replied as you turned and moved closer, cuddling him, and you saw him smile. A soft, genuine smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hahahahahahahha it’s 3 am :)

[certifiedskywalker]

Are You Bored Yet? - Benjamin Poindexter

Anonymous said: Hi!! Can I request some more Poindexter x reader? I’ve read ever fanfic on this website and I’m so sad that the amount of fanfics for him is so limited! Maybe some more dark, Dex stalking the reader but the reader falling for Dex and everything goes according to his plan! I’ve fallen down the Dex hole

AN: It’s been a while since I’ve written for Dex! I hope I did him justice! (I will forever be bitter that we will not see him and DareDevil in the same way again)

This was not part of Dex’s plan. Hell, the idea of it set him on edge. With his occupation, his senses were used to overloads. The sound of gunfire and flashing lights did little in the ways of hindering him during his working hours. Outside of his schedule, well, it was different.

Different meaning near piercing. There was noise everywhere. Crashing, geering, shattering, all of it all at once. It took everything Dex had not to cover his ears. That day he learned that he hated arcades. There was nothing worth the smell, the sounds, any of it.

Except you. You were worth it all and that confused him. 

How could someone like you, all collected and cool, work at a place so obnoxious? The answer alluded Dex, taunted him, teased him with the tilt of your smile. When he learned where you worked, he almost lost his tether to you. Yet, he found himself watching you smile at people under the neon lights and assault of noise almost daily now. 

Dex pulled the brim of his cap down as he stepped further inside. You were behind the ticket counter bartering with a gaggle of loudly dressed children. Despite how annoying they were, how annoying Dex assumed all children were, you were smiling. It, no, you amazed him. If he could, he would watch you smile like that all-

“Fuck off, loser!”

“Hey!”

Dex forced himself to take a long, barely steadying breath before turning to face the high-pitched yelling. When he finally opened his eyes, his gaze was assaulted by the flashing, gold lights of ‘Shoot ‘Em Up Hoops’ and the pair of children fighting there. An older looking girl was pushing away a younger boy until the basketball in his hand fell. The orange ball rolled over to Dex, bouncing slightly, almost to the beat of the game’s music.

“You can’t shoot for shit.”

Dex reached down, hands gripping the ball tightly as he listened. The young boy was growing red in the face, tears welling up in his eyes. For a moment, Dex saw himself. He could feel the sting of rejection and twinge of fear as if it were his own. 

As if to prove that he was real, that the boy he once was was truly no more, Dex effortlessly threw the ball. His aim was sharp as always, the impact ever-so satisfying. There was a sudden silence around him as eyes turned to study him; but Dex was focused on the ball, where it had hit.

So neatly, the ball ran circles around the edge of the hoop before dipping inside. The older girl stared at him wide eyed as points were awarded to the younger boy. It was just enough to put the boy’s score ahead, winning the game. The children turned then, still in a stunned silence, to study Dex. The girl looked furious. 

Slowly, Dex walked up to the pair, crouching down before them. He locked eyes with the girl and he could see her resolve melting. Now the fear was hers.

“Cheating will get you no where,” Dex said lowly, “because there will always be someone better than you.” The children blinked at him, dumbfounded. “Run along now.”

Dex stood up as the two kids ran off. With a little more quiet, he found himself set a little more at ease. He turned his head only slightly to peer back at you. For a moment, in the din of jingling tokens and game sound effects, Dex swore you were looking at him. Yet, with his senses so overwhelmed, he convinced himself he imagined it and turned away.

Just leave, he thought, just fucking go. There was other things he could be doing, new regimes he could follow to distract himself from you. Hell, the new routines could even prove to be grounding. Dex needed stability. He turned to glance back at you.

You were talking to a frazzled looking mother and a very young girl pointing at a stuffed pony. Despite the obvious annoyance, you were smiling. It was a steady smile, one that Dex would have to practice in the mirror to get just right. You were the stability he lacked and Dex couldn’t leave you.

He let out a sigh and eyed the tokens that rest beside the ‘Shoot ‘Em Up Hoops’ game. The dumb kids left them there. They wouldn’t be back for them and Dex had time to kill before you shift ended. He would walk you home, well, a few paces behind, then. He had to make sure you were safe. There was too much going on, too much at stake.

Leaning down, Dex picked up one of the tokens and stepped up to the game. The coin slid into the slot and the game’s music started up again. He picked up the ball as the timer began and took aim. With an ease that never needed practice, Dex made a basket.

Many, many baskets later, and Dex took note of how much the noise in the arcade had died down. Most of the evening crowd had funneled out the door when the first stars began poking out in the dark sky. Now, it was a scattered few teenagers and desperate adults clinging to what they could; and Dex. Though, he was clinging to something, someone, too.

But your shift still wasn’t over yet so Dex continued racking up the points in ‘Shoot ‘Em Up Hoops’. It was so easy to get lost in the movement. Though, it wasn’t as fluid as throwing knives or axes. It reminded Dex of a simpler time. A time when-

“Are you bored yet?”

Dex felt a rush of heat wash over his back and shoulders. Slowly, he turned around to see you, with those eyes of yours, studying him. Dex gripped the basketball tightly as an automated voice entreated him to continue on with the game.

“I…”

“You’ve been shooting hoops for a while now and we’re closing in a few minutes.”

“Oh, sorry, I just,” Dex set the basketball down to mask the shakiness of his voice. He needed to get a grip. “I just lost track of time.”

“It’s alright,” there was that smile again. Dex felt his lips pull up too, just a little. Every other sound around you melted away then, leaving him just with you. 

For a moment, he thought maybe he could smile and mean it truly. Before he could, suddenly, your eyes widened and Dex felt like he was going to be sick. Did you recognize him from all the times he had snooped around? This was it. This was his worst fear realized: he was going to lose you before even knowing you.

“You have a ton of tickets! I didn’t even know that ‘Shoot ‘Em Up’ could grant that many! Do you want to exchange them?” Dex traced your gaze and saw the mass of tiny, connected slips of paper spilling out of the machine. How long had he been playing?

“I-sure. Yeah, I’ll exchange them.”

You were smiling at him again and Dex felt his chest tighten. Wordlessly, he followed you to the counter where he had seen you working before. The stuffed animals along the wall were largely picked over save for a large giraffe and a few colorful creatures Dex didn’t dare claim to know. The display case too was sparse aside from an array of tacky rings. As you moved behind the case, Dex piled his tickets on the counter. 

“Can you find the end of your tickets for me? I can put them in the machine to count them then.” You were cleaning up as you spoke and Dex couldn’t take his eyes off you. So close, so terribly close. When you turned around, Dex forced himself to look away. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Dex began to fumble with the tickets. After a moment, you stepped closer to him, hands reaching out near his.

“Here, let me help you.”

You began skimming the edges of the tickets with your fingers, searching, as Dex was, for the stub-end. At one point, your hand brushed against his and he swore that a jolt of electricity jumped between your bodies. Eventually, you found the end of the tickets and fed it into the counting machine. The silence was filled by the sound of the tickets being eaten up with a horribly robotic crunching sound emanating from a nearby speaker. 

“I’ve seen you around here a lot.” You did recognize him. Dex tried to keep himself steady; something that came easier, somehow, with you so close. 

“Yeah, I, my friend told me about this place.” It was a lie that he had practiced. He thought of Nadeem. A friend. “His kid had a birthday here.”

“You have kids?”

“No,” Dex couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up his throat. It was a bitter one but he muscled through it. “I don’t. Probably shouldn’t.”

“After working here,” you sighed heavily, “I think you might have the right idea. They’re a handful. I mean, that kid you stopped from bullying the other one, earlier. Kids can be mean.”

“You saw that?” So, you had noticed him, watched him even. A spark of hope set Dex’s veins aflame. The feeling only intensified when he noticed a wave of shyness hit you. You were curling in on yourself slightly now and all he wanted to do was reach out to you.

“Yeah, they were causing a bit of scene. If it wasn’t for you, I would have had to go over and separate them. So, uh, thanks for doing my job. It was sweet of you too, defending that boy.”

You met his gaze for a long moment, only breaking the contact when the ticket counter read off a total that Dex would be embarrassed to admit. He had gotten himself into a zone, honed focus. ‘Shoot ‘Em Up Hoops’ had officially proven itself to be a dangerous game.

“How did you get that many?” You asked in disbelief.

“Would you believe me if I said I played sports as a kid?” Dex bit the inside of his cheek. It was really a lie. A partial truth. He couldn’t remember the last time he had played any sport. 

“I mean yeah,” you shook your head, “you might want to consider going pro.” Dex put on a smile, though it was easier with you to wear it. “If the arcade plans on hosting a tournament, let me know. I’ll be the first to sign up.”

“I could add you quicker if I know your name,” you pointed out. Dex couldn’t help but pick up on how soft your voice had sounded. Your lips formed the words so carefully, almost as if you too had to practice what you were going to say.

“Dex,” he replied. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

Your eyes widened. “How did you…”

Shit. Dex could feel the ground beneath his feet begin to crumble. His eyes danced along your face, your neck, your chest, and then he saw it. His way out.

“It’s on your uh, name tag.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I’m just-long day and all.” Dex smiled at your new nervousness, a smile that, for once, felt almost natural.

“It’s alright, you’ve got good reason to be paranoid.” You met his gaze then, an eyebrow raised in question. “Kids can be mean, and all.”

“Yeah,” you let out a breathy laugh, one that made Dex’s insides feel light as air. “So, you have a around a two thousand tickets. You can get just about everything, except for the giraffe.”

“Damn,” Dex leaned against the counter, trying to be more comfortable. “That was what I wanted. Just a few tickets short...anything you recommend?”

“Well, there’s these,” you pointed at the rings in the display case. “Perfect for a engagement, if you ask me, and then there’s these.” You stretched your arms up to the stuffed animals fastened to the wall behind the counter. “You could get a few of those.”

“Hmm…”

Dex felt a twinge in his stomach. There was pulling, a coaxing, in his chest. He knew most people called it bravery but Dex knew it best as adrenaline. It was just a chemical reaction in his body taking place as it should; but with you, he could almost believe is was something more.

“How many tickets for having coffee with you sometime?” The question fell from his lips without a second thought, something Dex started to regret as you fell silent. “That was...I was too forward. I’m-”

“A hundred tickets,” you murmured. Dex’s heart began to race.

“Just a hundred?”

“As long as you buy the drinks.”

“Coffee, tea, you name it,” Dex replied. A half smile pulled at his lips. There was no faking here, no mask in sight. Right then, it was just you and him. 

“Well then,” you held out your hand, “hundred tickets please.”

“Gladly,” Dex said, handing you what looked like a hundred or so odd tickets. It was finally paying off. The weeks of waiting, watching, and studying was all finally gathering into one moment. One agreement, one minute of Dex’s life that he would treasure forever.

You ripped off one of the tickets and grabbed a pen. Dex watched as you scribbled something on the tiny slip of blue paper. When you were finished, you handed it back to him.

“Here’s my number. Let me know when you’re free.” Dex took the slip from you, his finger tips brushing slightly against yours. 

“Thanks,” Dex said, gripping tightly to the paper. He looked up and met yours eyes. You were staring at him but not in the way he was used to people staring at him. Normally, when people looked at Dex, it was because he wasn’t normal. People could sense it and Dex knew that you could too; but you smiled, stared at him softly anyway. 

“I’m glad you didn’t get bored.” Dex’s brows furrowed. “Bored with ‘Shoot ‘Em Up Hoops’ that is. You stuck around.”

“Yeah, I am too.” 

Yes, Dex thought, he couldn’t have planned it better than this. He was willing to take this slow for you. Coffee first, stability later. He could never get bored with you. 

[somekindoftuber]

vld youtuber AU (klance, part 5)

(I apologize if the tense changes all over the place, I’m writing this as a sort of stream-of-consciousness thing because I care more about getting the idea out than writing something that’s grammatically perfect. I’ll probably clean this up and make it an actual fic once it’s all done. Thanks for reading!! :D)

part one | part two | part three | part four

There is a definite shift in Keith’s demeanor after Lance’s last visit.

They play Overwatch a few times a week, and while Keith goes into stern-leader-battle-mode when the game is going, between matches he’s loose, candid. He laughs at Lance’s jokes and makes casual conversation about his job, the garage, tells funny stories about Kosmo. Lance tells Keith stories about the customers he has at the cafe. It’s nice to hear a softness in Keith’s voice that Lance hadn’t heard before.

Keith shows up in nearly all of Lance’s Overwatch videos, even if his mic isn’t recorded. They sort of fall into a rhythm, meeting online every Tuesday and Thursday night to search for servers.

“Y’know,” Keith says one night while they’re in queue. “I wouldn’t have figured you for a sniper type.”

“Eh?” Lance is in his Widowmaker menu at that moment, flipping between two skins to see which one he likes more. “What d’you mean?”

“I don’t mean it in a bad way,” Keith clarifies, and it sounds like he’s smiling. “You just seem like more of a Mercy or a support or something. You’re really…” he pauses. “Generous. Always helping people. Then you get in here and you turn into a cold blooded assassin.”

Lance laughs. “I’ve always played a sniper, though. Gotta have balance somewhere, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

.

They text a lot. It’s all small stuff, like pet photos or memes (which Keith doesn’t understand 90% of the time and Lance finds that kind of adorable). But it’s nice. Occasionally they’ll both have an early shift, and Lance will text Keith photos of the ancient espresso grinder, captioned “this thing wants me dead” surrounded with skull emojis. Keith’s sense of humor, Lance learns, is dry as cracker juice. He gets a photo of a broken rubber floor mat with the question, “what sound does a floor mat make when it splits right before a fitness class?” Before Lance can answer, he gets another photo of the same mat, this time with Keith’s middle finger pointing soundly at it. “That sound,” says the caption. Lance laughs so hard that his boss yells at him for being on his phone during a shift.

August comes to an end, and Pidge prepares for her final term. Lance helps by assisting in an apartment clean out, getting rid of literal clutter to ease Pidge’s impending mental clutter. Lance tries not to think about how this might be their last few months in this apartment together. He’s really enjoyed living with Pidge - he wasn’t exaggerating when he said she was like a sister. Pidge is an extension of his family, ever since they met at space camp all those years ago. She’d been a tiny, fluffy, indomitable ball of pure snark and Lance loved her immediately. Since then, they’d stuck together, seeing each other through some of the hardest times. Lance had cheered his lungs out when Pidge was handed her high school diploma, and in a few months, he’d see her walk across another stage in a cap and gown to receive her bachelor’s degree in Robotic Engineering.

It made him a little misty-eyed to think about it.

Pidge is playing Stardew Valley one afternoon (how the hell did she manage to make such an insanely profitable farm before the end of year one?) when she casually brings up one of Lance’s favorite fall events.

“You gonna go to the Founder’s Fair this year?”

Lance doesn’t even look up from his phone. “Uh, is the Pope catholic?”

“Good.” On the screen, Pidge’s character gives a bouquet to Penny. Dating everyone but marrying no one: the Pidge method. “Hunk is coming in for it.”

“Sweet.”

The Harborville Founder’s Fair was the highlight of every autumn. Right as the summer was fading away and the air was showing a hint of a chill, Oceanside Park would explode into three days of carnival rides, food trucks, fireworks, and everything in between. It was also the best time of year to surf - they didn’t get much in the way of waves here, but there would always be just enough in late September to rent a board. Lance had put in his time off request a month ago, buttering up his boss with the ‘this might be my last September in Harborville’ sob story. Which was sort of true, even if he wasn’t quite ready to face that reality yet.

Lance felt like he was getting closer to Keith. He wasn’t entirely sure if that was the case, but if nothing else, Keith seemed to finally be relaxing around him. There were one or two times when Lance could almost swear Keith was flirting, but he quickly shoved the thought aside. Nope, don’t go there. That’s assuming things. Assuming is dangerous.

.

The fair is in a week and to make up for missing work on what will be one of the busiest weekends of the year, Lance is working at the cafe nearly every day. He has more steam burns on his hands and wrists from making lattes than ever, and he thinks if he hears the word “pumpkin spice” one more time he might lose it. He hasn’t played Overwatch all week, too tired from extra shifts to do anything other than zone out to Netflix when he gets home.

He’s got two hours left in his Thursday morning shift, then he’s free for the whole weekend. He can practically taste the funnel cakes now - and the Rancho Alegre food truck, the only decent source of Cuban food in the entire state, will be there. God, he’s going to eat until he can’t move.

The morning rush has come and gone and the afternoon crowd isn’t here yet, so Lance is cleaning up the mess of coffee grounds and cinnamon around his work station when the bell on the cafe door sounds. He doesn’t look up as his coworker/supervisor Romelle greets whoever walks through, too preoccupied with wondering how the hell almond milk ended up underneath the grinder.

“Hello,” says the customer and Lance totally knows that voice. He stops wiping sour milk and looks up.

It’s Shiro. And right behind him is Allura and - oh shit. It’s Keith. He’s here, he’s here in the cafe and Lance had no idea he was coming and he probably looks like shit, overworked with bags under his eyes and his face breaking out from stress and he didn’t even shampoo his hair this morning because he was running late --

But then Keith smiles at him and wow. His hair is down and he’s wearing this black and red leather jacket and it should be illegal to look that good. Especially when Lance is such a mess.

“Hi,” Lance says, hating how his voice cracks. “What are you guys doing in town?”

Shiro is pulling out his wallet with his left hand. “We came for the fair. It was always one of my favorite things about going to school here.”

“Oh,” Lance squeaks.

They’re here for the fair. Lance might get to spend time at the fair with Keith. He forces himself to focus on the present before a dozen fantasies of ferris wheel rides and sharing cotton candy can take over his brain.

They all order drinks and Lance claims them before Romelle can even finish ringing them up. Shiro gets a hazelnut americano, Allura orders a tuxedo mocha, and Keith shyly asks for a latte. Lance can tell he doesn’t go to coffee shops often and makes the drinks carefully. He can’t embellish Shiro’s americano, but he uses chocolate sauce and extra foam to draw a bow tie in Allura’s mug. For Keith’s latte, he sends a prayer to the coffee gods to grant him latte art prowess. It works, and Lance is rounding out rings of coffee and foam, pulling through to form a perfect heart.

He slides the mug across the counter to Keith, who’s eyebrow shoot into his hair. He breaths a little “wow” and blushes, taking the mug and smiling. He’s wearing fingerless leather gloves. Lance’s heart flip-flops in his chest.

The three of them find a table near the window and sit, chatting and drinking their coffee. They’re too far away for Lance to hear what they’re saying, and even if he could, he’s on the clock, and the lunchtime regulars are starting to trickle in.

Would it be gauche to text his evening shift coworker and bribe him to come in early so Lance can leave?

Lance thinks Romelle can tell he’s pouting by the way she sides up to him.

“Hey,” she whispers. “Is that the guy?”

He follows her gaze and sees that it lands firmly on the table where Keith is sitting with Shiro and Allura. Keith looks up at Lance, and smiles a little before turning back to his brother.

“Yeah,” Lance whispers back, feeling his face heat up. “The one with the long hair.”

Romelle lets out a low whistle. “Quite the catch,” she says, waggling her eyebrows. “What about the girl they’re with?”

“Allura?” Lance thinks. “I don’t know her very well, but she’s nice.”

“She single?”

Lance rolls his eyes and starts on the next drink. “No idea, you should ask her.”

It’s slower today and Lance is thankful for it. With Keith in the room, he can’t focus on anything - it’s a miracle he doesn’t catastrophically screw up the drinks he’s making. There’s a break in customers and Romelle comes over to Lance where he loading a portafilter with espresso and waves her phone.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she says, and he does not like that voice. That’s her Supervisor Voice. “I’ll call Ryan in an hour early if you get me Cute Girl’s number.”

Lance puts the tamp down. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

He looks over at the table where Keith is sitting. They’ve all finished their drinks and will probably be leaving soon.

“Romelle,” Lance states. “You are an evil super villain and I love you. Consider that number yours.”

Fifteen minutes later, Ryan Kinkade is walking in and he doesn’t look particularly thrilled about it. Lance takes off his apron and motions at the jar of cash by the register.

“Ryan, you’re a lifesaver and my tips are yours. Thank you!” Lance clocks out before anyone can argue and walks over to where Keith and Co are sitting. He’s very much aware of how he probably reeks of coffee and looks like garbage but does his best to smile anyway.

“My shift is over, did you guys have any plans?”

Shiro smiles and stands. “I think we were going to head to our Air B&B and check in, actually. We could use a breather after that drive. We can meet up for dinner later, if you want.”

Inwardly, Lance lets out a sigh of relief because this means he’ll have time to take a shower and make himself presentable. “That sounds good! Any place you want to go?”

Shiro shrugs. “Is Vinnie’s still open?”

Lance lights up. “Oh yeah, still as good as ever, too! Want to meet there at, uh - “ He checks his phone, it’s barely 3pm. “Around five? We should beat most of the dinner rush that way.”

They all nod and the plans are made. They walk outside together and Lance watches the three of them get into a very nice Chrysler sedan - maybe Allura’s, given how she goes for the driver’s seat. Once they’re gone, Lance heads for his car and books it home. He immediately washes and exfoliates his face, then applies an anti-inflammatory mask and works at cleaning up the apartment. It was already fairly clean since Hunk will be crashing on the pull-out sofa bed for the weekend, and he has no idea of Keith will ever even see this place, but Lance doesn’t want to take any risks.

He shoots Pidge a text to tell her about their plans in case she wants to join. Hunk isn’t due until tomorrow morning.

Apartment clean(er) and his face mask dry and itchy, Lance hops in the shower and scrubs himself sore. Keith is here and will be spending the weekend here and Lance is equal parts ecstatic and terrified. He meticulously goes through his whole grooming routine, moisturizes, swabs, trims his eyebrows, even files his nails. He checks his reflection once he’s done and thankfully his face is less red, the stress acne barely noticeable.

There’s still about 45 minutes until he needs to be at Vinnie’s so Lance takes his time picking out clothes. He settles for a low cut tank top that shows off his collarbones and a beige button down over it with the sleeves rolled up, finishing it off with a pendant necklace and grey skinny jeans. He examines himself in the mirror and frowns a little. Does it look too much like date clothes?

He doesn’t have time to change because then his phone pings and it’s Shiro, saying they’re heading to Vinnie’s a little early. Lance all but throws himself out the door.

.

Vinnie’s is starting to get crowded, Lance can already see the line forming when he parks. He spots Shiro and Allura easily, their white hair making them stand out. They’d managed to claim a patio table - no small feat - and were chatting happily.

Lance joins them and it’s amazing how welcome he feels in this group, the way Shiro half-pulls a chair out for Lance. Keith is sitting to his right, his jacket draped over the back of his chair, the black t-shirt he wore stretching nicely over his chest. And if he didn’t know any better, Lance could swear he saw Keith’s eyes sweep down his neck and linger.

They ate and laughed and ate more, drinking fancy gourmet sodas. They make loose plans for the weekend - beach tomorrow, then the fair on Saturday, and maybe brunch before they leave on Sunday. Lance educates Keith in the ways of the garlic knot, the most sacred food item on earth. And when Keith shrugs and says they’re “alright,” Lance feigns offense, gasping and clutching his chest.

Pidge joins them later, looking utterly spent from a long day of classes. Lance gives up his seat so she can collapse into it. He kneels beside the table instead, passing Pidge the last of their pizza and appetizers. Keith gives him a look, then scoots over to one side of his chair, patting the other with his hand.

Lance short circuits, looking from the empty side of the chair to Keith’s face several times.

Keith rolls his eyes. “Get up here. That,” he points to where Lance is kneeling, “Is super bad for your knees.”

“Oh?” Lance slides into place, and it’s sort of uncomfortable with half of his ass hanging off the chair, but he can feel heat pouring off Keith’s body with how close he is. “You care much about my knees?”

Keith goes super red. “I’m a physical trainer,” He said, suddenly very interested in his soda. “It’s my job to care. Doing stuff like that will ruin them.”

“Right.”

Lance glances over at Pidge, who had a garlic knot halfway to her mouth and giving Lance the most predatory grin. He glares at her to shut down whatever evil plans she might be formulating.

They finally finish the food and decide to stop taking up a table, bussing it themselves to save the staff some work. Instead of a bar, they decide to head over to Lance and Pidge’s apartment to chill - half because Pidge isn’t 21 yet and wouldn’t be able to join them at most of the bars in town, and half because Vinnie’s was so loud that they’re all craving some quiet.

Lance is so thankful that his past self had the sense to clean a little more. They all sprawl out over the living room, Lance going to pull a chair from the kitchen to sit on so the guests can have the nice couch and Pidge can curl up in the easy chair. Lance offers up the ice cream sandwiches from the freezer and everyone takes one; Allura seems to be examining hers with great interest, like she’s never had one before.

Shiro talks a lot, mostly about what Harborville was like when he and Matt were in college. About their first apartment that should probably have been condemned, the dogs he’d walk between classes for extra cash. Eventually Lance’s cats come out of hiding to investigate, and Keith goes starry-eyed at Batou’s big green eyes and plush grey coat.

Pidge falls asleep in her chair just after nine. Everyone takes a second to coo at how cute she is before Lance bends down to scoop her up.

“Lemme put sleeping beauty here to bed. If she stays there she’ll be sore and cranky when she wakes up.”

He takes Pidge to her room and sets her on her bed, then wrestles her sneakers off her feet, setting her glasses on the bedside table and draping a sheet over her. When he goes back into the living room and sits in the chair he’d removed Pidge from, Allura gives him a fond look.

“You’re very sweet to her.”

Lance shrugs. “She’s pretty much family. Also, I have to do that all the time. I’ve found her face down on her homework out here more times than I want to count.”

They talk for another two hours. Lance feels a little lonely with Keith sitting on the side of the couch furthest from him, but then again, if he was closer, Lance isn’t sure his brain would work. Allura yawns wide.

“I think it’s time we turned in,” she states. “I’d like to get some rest before the weekend starts.”

Shiro agrees. Lance ends up seeing them off in the parking lot, waving as they drive away.

.

Hunk arrives just after 10am the next morning, armed with bags of groceries to pack a picnic for the beach. He puts Lance and Pidge on an assembly line in the kitchen, making pork sandwiches, vegetable rolls, hummus wraps, crab and radish tartines, potato salad, and chocolate-dipped clementine slices. He’d picked up a package of Lance’s favorite lemon cream cookies and Lance could almost kiss him for it.

With their precious picnic food carefully packed in an ice chest along with plenty of drinks, Lance shot a group text to Keith, Shiro, and Allura to ask if they were ready for the beach. He got confirmation quickly, and they agreed to hit the north shore near the lighthouse, where the sand was rougher but the tourists tended to be a little thinner.

Parking is a bitch but they find a spot, then wait by the trunk for Keith and Co to arrive. About ten minutes later Lance sees Allura’s Chrysler pull in to a spot. They walk over to meet them and Lance is practically bouncing, because 1) he gets to go to the beach, 2) he gets to go surfing with Hunk, 3) he gets to spend time with new friends, and 4) Keith is here. Everyone is in shorts and light shirts, Allura has this big floppy sun hat that is absolutely precious on her, and Keith’s face is shiny with sunscreen. Lance bets that fair skin of his will still be red by the end of the day.

They find a spot that’s decently clear and set up. Hunk, Keith, and Lance tackle the portable canopy that will hopefully keep them all from becoming completely sunburned while Allura and Pidge set out the sand blanket and arrange their stuff to keep the wind from blowing it away. Once they’re settled, the ice chest is opened and sodas and juice are passed around. The wind is strong today but not enough to be a problem for their canopy, and the waves are large and plentiful. Lance eyes the surfboard rental shack a quarter mile down the beach.

Once they’ve had enough of snacking and chatting, Lance gives Hunk fingerguns and they almost take off down the beach together, making a beeline for the surfboards. Rolo is working it as usual and after some searching they find the perfect boards and duck into the changing tent to get into their springsuits. Lance has the white and blue suit up over his hips and was about to pull it the rest of the way on when he remembers that Keith is sitting out there. Ever since Lance learned he was a Crossfit trainer, he’d started running and working out again. He wasn’t in as good a shape as he was when he’d been swimming competitively, but thanks to months of regular exercise, he at least sort of looked the part again. And maybe he wanted to show off a little. So Lance left the top of his springsuit open and hanging from his hips as they went back to the group with their boards.

“Showoff,” Hunk accused while they were still out of earshot of everyone else.

Lance subtly flexed his chest. “So? I worked hard for this.”

When they got back to the canopy, Lance did his best to act nonchalant as he set his board aside and started pulling his springsuit up over his chest. Keith was definitely looking at him. Mission accomplished.

His flirty nature satisfied, it was time to surf. Lance missed this so much, the first step into the ocean water was like heaven. He and Hunk paddled out until the water was smooth, then sat on their boards and waited. They didn’t have to wait long, Hunk caught the first good wave that came their way, riding it out and away. Lance caught the next one, and it was a crazy high. It just felt so good, cutting through the water with his board, turning, riding through tunnels of blue-green. The waves tossed him, wrecked him, dragged his body against the sand below. But every time, Lance would surface, shake it off, and paddle out for another go.

His legs finally started to shake, so Lance hauled his board back to the shore. Hunk was already sitting under the canopy again, changed out of his springsuit and sipping on a juice box.

“I was gonna give you ten more minutes before I dragged you out of the water,” Hunk said.

Lance didn’t reply, chest heaving as he caught his breath. His board hits the sand and he all but collapses onto the sand sheet, his ears ringing.

A water bottle appeared in his periphery. Lance looked up enough to trace the hand that held it back to Keith, who was wearing this cute little smile. Lance smiled back and took the bottle, downing half of it in one gulp.

Pidge starts pulling out food and Lance blindly eats whatever is handed to him, too exhausted to care what it is. It’s all delicious but with how many calories he burned surfing, he could probably be eating stale saltines and they’d taste like a delicacy. He leans back on the sand sheet and basks in the post-surf euphoria.

Lance notices everyone starting to get up. Allura is holding several frisbees with a gleam in her eye, and most of the group is rising to join her. Keith stands and, after fiddling with the collar of his shirt for a second, reaches back and pulls it over his head, letting it drop to the ground.

Lance is instantly awake because holy shit. Keith is ripped. He’s all tight skin and perfect muscles and - oh.

He’d been wrong when he’d assumed Keith’s tattoo was a wolf. It’s actually a lion, roaring fiercely, emblazoned in dark red ink over his left hip.

Keith takes a hair tie off his wrist and uses it to pull his hair up high on the back of his head. He shoots Lance a loaded glance before walking out into the sun to join everyone else for a game of frisbee tag. Lance memorizes the muscles of his back as he goes.

“Good god, you’re so loud.”

Lance sits up and turns to see Pidge, sitting in the center of the sand sheet in her shorts and green rash guard, with her phone in one hand and a cookie in the other.

“I didn’t say anything!” Lance protests. Pidge just cocks an eyebrow at him.

“Not with words, anyway.”

Lance frowns, then dares to look back out at his friends, finding Keith and tracking his movements across the beach.

.

They empty the ice chest of food and drink and, after several more hours of beach fun, they decide to pack it in and head out. Lance is going to remember this day for the rest of his life - the image of Keith glistening wet as he walked out of the ocean had finally taught Lance the meaning of the phrase “looks good enough to eat.”

Lance is so, so tired. Surfing wore him out but he still played a round of beach volleyball after that, and then swam some more. He’s going to be so sore tomorrow. He drives himself, Hunk, and Pidge back to their apartments to shower and change before they head over to the Air B&B where Shiro, Keith, and Allura are staying. Lance decides on a regular shirt and his favorite jeans, only bothering to put a single layer of moisturizer on his face.

The Air B&B turns out to be a whole house, with a yard and a little deck where they all gather around faded patio furniture as Shiro hands out beers. He gives Pidge a look as she takes one for herself.

“What?” She says as she twists off the top of the bottle. “I’m gonna be 21 in a few months, I’m in safe company, and I’m not driving.”

Shiro just sighs and sits down.

They talk and laugh for hours. Pidge only has one beer before switching to sweet tea, and Lance is a little relieved. He has no idea what drunk Pidge would be like and he’d rather not find out this weekend - he would be cash money that she’d be ornery as hell. Hunk orders some delivery from their favorite noodle place when Lance isn’t paying attention. Keith looks happy as a kid on Christmas with a giant bowl of pho in front of him, and Lance learns that Vietnamese food is his favorite.

They move inside once the sun goes down to keep from bothering the neighbors. Lance settles into a corner of the faded couch, and is too tired to panic when Keith sits next to him. Hunk launches into a story about his last term at school when he almost blew the breaker for the entire engineering building and Lance tries to pay attention, but he’s worn out and Keith is radiating heat like a furnace. Combine that with his full stomach and a couple of beers and he’s so, so sleepy.

Someone is calling his name and Lance inhales sharply, eyes fluttering open. It was Hunk, who’s smiling at him from across the coffee table. Lance is leaning on something warm and solid. He rubs his eyes and looks up.

He was leaning on Keith.

Lance’s eyes bug out but Keith just looks down at him with this tiny smile and a blush on his cheeks. Lance suddenly feels like the room is a million degrees as he carefully sits up.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to pass out.”

Keith laughs softly. “It’s fine.”

They all start to wrap up their stories and conversations. Lance doesn’t know what time it is but it feels late, and since they want to hit the fair tomorrow, they should all get some sleep. Hunk offers to drive home and Lance hands him the keys as Keith, Shiro, and Allura wave goodbye from the front porch.

He almost falls asleep again in the ten minutes it takes Hunk to drive them back to their apartment. Lance helps set up the pull-out sofa, then goes to brush his teeth. He’s practically nodding off at the bathroom sink when Pidge comes up to him and pulls out her phone.

“Thought you should see this,” she says, holding it up.

On the screen is a photo of Keith, and, with his head resting on Keith’s shoulder dead asleep, Lance. Keith is looking down at him and definitely blushing.

The toothbrush stills in Lance’s mouth as he swipes the phone from Pidge’s hand, using his thumbs to pull and zoom. Keith was smiling.

“Please send this to me immediately,” Lance tells her, words muffled from the toothbrush still hanging from between his teeth.

He’s in bed setting his alarm when he gets the text from Pidge with the photo attached. And if Lance hugs a pillow and kicks his feet a little at the sight, who could blame him?

.

Continued in part 6!

[orbitariums]

I have a request: Peter Parker finding out his gf (y/n) is an avenger? Maybe he doesn't realize until a certain fight? Thank you, and I hope you are having a great day! - first ask anon (I guess I'll just call myself that 🤣🤣)

hi !! yes welcome back first ask anon and thank you so much for this request i’ve had the loveliest time writing it (s/o to my friend emily for helping me w/ some details bc i’m still new to marvel). hope you enjoy!! heads up this is like super long for a tumblr one shot *at least i think so*, if you guys request me stuff be prepared for it to be longgg!

disclaimer: fighting scenes are not my strength, especially for a marvel character!!! hope the plot makes up for it. also i pretty much just made up a villain and a fight. + switches between she/you when peter is first seeing the reader. ++ inspired by teen titans and kill la kill! contains: slight language + violence of course. hope u love it!

                             violet blast and spiderman (pt. i)

     Spiderman was good. This guy was better.

     Terrified bystanders and entrapped citizens watched in the crowded street as Peter tried desperately to simultaneously protect the woman he’d saved and fight off the bad guy. But doing both at once was wearing him out and his mind couldn’t help but keep going back to the fact that he had made no progress with his math project back at home because he kept delaying it to adhere to the role of friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

Plus he had a date with you later that weekend that he was stressing about because he wanted everything to go perfectly. But he kept up, and kept up with his banter all the while, just barely dodging the bad guy’s grotesque metal fist as he rolled underneath him and tried to shoot a web at him from behind and flip him over.

     “You know, you really should invest all this energy into being less of an asshole!” Peter yelled out, rolling to his side to avoid being smashed again.

     This guy was like the Hulk, except he had the robotic, armored qualities of Iron Man, if Iron Man looked like a giant made out of concrete with glaring red eyes and a deformed metal hand that was not doing Peter any favors.

     “Concrete Man!” the beast roared, swiveling around to face Peter who looked like an ant from where he was standing.

     “Really, Concrete Man, that’s your name? Yeah, Iron Man called, he wants his trademark ba-” Peter’s voice got carried away as he found himself getting swooped up by “Concrete Man”, his body slowly getting crushed in his metallic grasp.

     Peter’s breath became shallow as he tried to escape, looking down at the people below him who were now crowding closer, screaming in terror. He tried to find the woman in the crowd, at least to tell her to run away to safety now that Concrete Man was distracted, but he only caught a glimpse of her, and she was staring up in transfixed terror as well.

     “Shit!” Peter exclaimed, growing panicky.

     He tried to outstretch his arms in the hopes to web this guy’s face and get it in his eyes so he’d at least let go of Peter, but to no avail. Peter let out a panicked gasp but calmed down when he realized he could still stretch out his feet against Concrete Man’s body, and so he pressed his feet against his bulky build and pushed off, extending his arms over Concrete Man’s hand so he could flip off.

     He knew that when he did he’d be awaiting a hard pummel to the ground, but he did so anyway, flying through the air momentarily before finding his landing midair and sticking it. He tried to maintain his heavy breaths as he continued to fight against Concrete Man, sticking out his hand in the attempts to catch his legs in a spiral and make him fall to the ground, and then go off from there. 

     But before the web could even shoot, he was shoved aside by another figure, a girl about the same height as him, a little taller even.

     “Move Peter,” you said hostilely, shoving him aside and standing your ground in front of him.

     Peter had to do a double take to make sure he was seeing correctly, and to make sure he had heard correctly as well. Whoever this was had said his name, so that meant she knew who he was somehow. But he had never seen her before in his life, so who could it be? His heart was racing with fear, and anxiety, and his head was pounding with fear, add in the way he was still practically hyperventilating from escaping Concrete-Man’s strong hold and the adrenaline rush.

     The girl had an interesting uniform (a mix of Starfire, Raven and Senketsu)- a navy blue crop top with mid-length sleeves, and a purple stem miniskirt held up by black suspenders, along with thigh high violet boots, and her whole uniform had all types of gadgets and buttons all over it. She also had on a dark blue cloak with a hood that masked her face so he couldn’t see her, but he was still in awe. In other words, she was kind of hot- if extremely powerful- and Peter couldn’t help but notice that.

     But he snapped out of it when he realized what was actually happening, and when he saw that you had propelled yourself up into the air to fight this guy off yourself. He wanted to complain that this was his fight, even though he was losing terribly, but couldn’t when he saw that you had blasted this villain guy in the face with blinding blasts of ultraviolet radiation. The concrete on his face crumbled slightly and he roared in anger, swooping his hand to try and grab you up, while you were floating in the air.

     He roared again when he missed as you dodged his clenching fist with ease, lurching forward and sending passerby into a panic as the ground shook beneath them.

     “Foolish girl! You dare to challenge me, your worst nightmare?”

     “Not much of a challenge,” you retorted, and Peter laughed, then shut himself up when he realized he should probably be doing something, but he didn’t know what.

     “You look like a schoolgirl in that redundant uniform!” yelled out Concrete Man out of spite. “Get back to class!”

You paused midair, just sort of bouncing in the air, but now your eyes were glowing green and you felt energy activating inside of you that you knew would be deadly for Concrete Man, and extremely riling for you.

     “Aw,” you crossed your arms, your voice eerily monotonous. “You made me angry. Good luck in advance.”

     Concrete Man started to laugh, but before he could even get out a good bellow, you darted forward, feet first, and rammed yourself into his face, nailing him so hard he practically stumbled, your superhuman strength and berserker state granting you immunity to the aftermath of the blow and even greater strength. 

     The people below gasped and stumbled back, and some people started to run. Meanwhile, you were launching great green blasts of energy from out of the palm of your hands and into the villain’s face, blinding him and making him even more vulnerable as he groaned in pain at the heat of the power surges you were sending out.

Peter just looked up, his voice shaky because he was intimidated by you now, and choked out,

     “U-um, d-do you need any help? Sh… should I be doing anything right now? I’m really confused, woah-”

     “No! Shut up and get that woman to safety!” you yelled, only because you were angry and he was distracting you.

     He did exactly that and ran over to the lady who Concrete Man had been attacking previously to get her to safety, and practically managing the crowds of people running by and trying to escape. You, on the other hand, were this much closer to defeating Concrete Man. 

     With blast after blast you had practically rendered him powerless, and he was staggering back, about to fall hard onto the ground. As Peter watched, he realized your maneuvers and techniques - the way you were hot headed and fast on your feet, just hitting him with move after move - reminded him an awful lot of someone… someone he was incredibly close to, but in his haze he couldn’t think of who.

     “EVERYBODY MOVE BACK!” you yelled out to the few people who were standing underneath where Concrete Man was going to fall.

     Everyone ran and when he finally fell, tumbling and crashing to the hard ground, you zoomed down, your eyes still gleaming a flashing green, and hovered above his disintegrating face, mocking him,

     “Who the fuck is a little schoolgirl now!”

     He bellowed and tried to get back up, but you were already harnessing your energy between your two hands, pressing the right wrist over the left wrist in a clamping maneuver and muttering,

     “Get back to class,” before blasting an explosion of radiation at him that made him cry out in agony as he melted into the ground, just a puddle of wet cement like he had been before.

     The people that remained cheered raucously and you came back down to the ground, a few feet ahead of Peter who had watched the whole thing go down in awe. You couldn’t help but smile, back to your normal state after releasing all of that energy, and bow just for even more effect.

     You swerved around to face Peter now, remembering the mistake you had made in calling him by his name. You had meant to tell him sooner or later, but in your anger at seeing him get so mishandled by this wannabe Ironman you had slipped up and soon the cat would be out of the bag. You knew your boyfriend could be a bit of a ditz sometimes, despite his pure genius, so you figured he hadn’t yet put two and two together.

     “Who are you?” Peter was first to talk, his face a mix of horror and confusion.

You breathed out loudly, catching your breath,

     “Follow me.”

     Reluctantly, he did, and you led him to a quiet alley where no one else was, and this just so happened to be the alley where he left his backpack and changed into his Spiderman uniform everyday. Something was definitely up.

     You looked around to make sure the coast was clear, and when you had decided it was safe, you got awfully quiet and looked him in the eyes, though he still couldn’t decipher the face because you were masked.

     “Peter, it’s me,” you said solemnly, your face and voice hopeful that you wouldn’t be angry.

     It was like a lightbulb, no, a fuse, lit up and exploded over his head. He almost took a step back, he was so shocked, and everything started to come together. He started getting eight by ten glossies of his life, but just the moments he shared it with you, and all the weird things about you he had brushed off. 

     Like for example, your insane flexibility despite you proving to him multiple times you hadn’t set foot in a gymnasium for gymnastics since you were a kid, your excuses for leaving suddenly out of nowhere, your off days where you seemed to be supernatural when angry. It all made sense now.

     “YN?” his already high voice cracked as he squeaked out your name, and you smiled apprehensively, hoping he wasn’t mad.

     “Um… hi?”

     “I don’t believe it. I do, but… wh- how does this even happen… you knew I was Spiderman all this time? And- and you, who… who even are you! If you’re a villain we have to break up… you’re not a villain are you? Please don’t be, I love you. I-I mean, that’s a strong word, could be scary, but you’re scary so I don’t want to get you upset by saying that if you’re not ready. Are you ready? Am I talking too fast, I feel like I’m talking really fast. Okay, woah, I’m a little light-headed, I’m gonna sit down.”

     He sat up against the wall and you chuckled, standing in front of him- the boots really added height and you practically towered over him- on top of that he was sitting down. You thought it was cute that he found you scary, hell, you thought he was cute - he on the other hand was intimidated by your even further enhanced beauty (because you were already beautiful to him but now even more so) and power. He was also trying very hard to look anywhere but at you, or at least at your face, because he had never noticed how absolutely ripped you were, more than him maybe.

     “Peter, calm down.” You removed your mask and cloak and he cleared his throat a bit too loudly, now that he could see your face. Then he started to choke and you made a disgruntled face as you glared down at him.

     “Sorry,” he held his hand out to excuse himself but continued coughing.

     “Look, I can’t tell you anything if you’re gonna be freaking out the entire time.”

          “Okay… okay, just… explain.”

     And you did- you explained how you were the most recent Avenger and how Natasha Romanoff had taken you under her wing for training, and how you had even visited other realms like Azarath and Tamaran to receive training from the former Teen Titans. You told him how this was really very recent and how you were going to tell him at some point, you just had to find the right time. He was planning on telling you too, at some point, since your relationship was getting quite serious.

     You explained that you hadn’t meant to call him Peter, but that you were just distracted and annoyed, and already angry, since Peter was getting hurt and you felt like you hadn’t gotten there soon enough to help out. And you explained how you wanted nothing more than for the two of you to remain the way you were relationship wise, and not to let this new knowledge about you or each other betray what you had. 

     But you emphasized that sometimes your job was more important than him and he totally understood that - you were the kind of headstrong girl who, even if hot-headed, had a good head on her shoulders and a strong belief in yourself. You wouldn’t let anyone, even Peter, your first love, come between that.

     “Wow…” Peter said, following your lengthy conversation. “So you’ve been an Avenger all this time?”

     “Like I said, I only gained Avenger status recently. Before that I was kind of like you… just more, y’know, lowkey I guess, since you didn’t know who I was… or who Violet Blast (your superhero name) was until now.”

     “Yeah… no kidding,” Peter panted. “You look really nice in your uniform by the way.”

You side-eyed him but winked playfully, 

     “You too if I were into the whole tights thing.”

     He made a face, irritated but satisfied- you were the same old smart mouthed you, even as an Avenger. You were sitting next to each other, still in the alley, and you hopped onto your feet again, pulling Peter up from the ground too. He winced at how hard you had grasped his hand- superhuman strength things- and couldn’t hide it before you noticed. You giggled,

     “Oops.”

     “Ha,” he laughed limply, because he was still a bit afraid of you.

     “Ok. I left my bag somewhere here…” you trailed off, starting to swivel around to try and find it.

Peter spotted it and dashed a web out towards it, pulling it towards you,

     “Got it!”

     You smiled and picked it up,

     “Aww. My boyfriend’s a little spiderbaby.”

     “Er- I’m a spiderman,” Peter corrected, folding his arms.

     “Yeah?” you teased him, rolling your eyes. You started to change back into your regular clothes, but Peter made a noise and asked,

     “Whaaat ya doin’?”

You made a face, bringing your brows together,

     “Changing…?”

He cleared his throat, feeling quite awkward now since it was very obvious, but his mind had gone somewhere it shouldn’t have, in his dazed mix,

     “We… yeah, I knew that. Just- you weren’t gonna give me a warning?”

You raised your brow even higher,

     “Peter, I’m your girlfriend.”

He squeaked out and started to complain,

     “Look, I’m really overwhelmed right now, with all this new information, so could you ju-”

     “Fine, turn around,” you griped, but you couldn’t help but laugh at him.

When you were done you waited for him to change too, but he just stared at you.

     “You want me to turn around,” you said, more of a statement than a question, and he nodded shyly.

When the two of you were finally in your regular clothes, though you were by no means regular at all, you carried on out of the alleyway as if you were. When you got out on the other side, you laced your hand through his, careful not to squeeze too hard,

     “And by the way, I do love you… too.”

Although this brought a boyish smile to his face and made him laugh joyously in that cute way of his, he was still a little confused,

     “What?”

You let go of his hand slightly, hoping he hadn’t just been rambling inattentively when he said that to you earlier, and already fearing losing him,

     “Just… you said, back there, when we… I don’t know, I thought you said you loved me. Back there.”

Your voice got low and your head hung and your insecurity was showing. But Peter’s face remained lit up, as he squeezed your hand to reassure you, bringing your hands back closer together,

     “Oh I know! I just wanted to make sure I was hearing you properly YN.”

You rolled your eyes and glanced over at him, basking in this moment- it didn’t seem real, but it was. The two of you, literal superheroes, together in what seemed to be life’s most fun and magical twist yet, not just the fact that you even had these abilities. And you were just two teenagers walking along the streets of Queens. And you shared your first I love yous. You couldn’t help but laugh and smile.

     “Sure, Spidey,” you smirked.

ahh ok i hope you and everyone else who read that liked it!! should i make a part two where they’re just figuring out how to act normally in school + when they’re around each other and stuff, and maybe more of them fighting together!! lmk <3 thanks so much for requesting first ask anon <3

[coolingdownanddrawing]

heres some idea’s for redesigns along with some bulletpoints on what I was thinking for story stuff involving remaking the series

Im having trouble reading off the screenshots so Im gonna write it out under the cut along with probably adding some ideas or expanding on the bullet lists (future me here: I wrote a Lot)

Sam Manson:

-Rich Activist, meaning she’s kinda blind to some troubles going on or doesnt full understand how others are doing financially, along with being raised in a house with people who arnt exactly empathetic and more focused on appearances then worker rights, sam can come off as shallow to others doing activist work.

 it could be a really interesting character arc for her to realize some of the things going on outside of her school and plants that she can help with, along with dealing with that sense of helplessness she feels at being to normal to help anyone she expresses in the show.

-Goth, but cheery? One thing i noticed in the show is how overall cheerful sam can come off while toting goth ideal’s, which may be a part of why she isnt shown to have many goth friends with them seeing her more as a poser becouse their teenagers and teenager Be like that sometimes.

 It’s not a problem in my book but it could be fun to see tucker or danny question it when in goth spaces and sam basically saying the truth that you dont have to be miserable to enjoy dark subject matter. maybe with tucker and danny getting a small interest in some of the “lesser” goth stuff sam introduces to them.

-fights everyone, becouse teenager with boundless energy and Ghosts attacking all the time. sam didnt fight much in the original series and thats a shame.

-facinated by ghost, becouse duh

-I was kinda thinking of her and tucker being introduced by them competing for class president, becouse that seem’s like a position both would be interested in and it be more interesting then having tucker face dash

Tucker Foley

-Likes to influence others is a general statment, but its true tucker likes to be involved in other peoples lives and generally have his oppinion affect people in possitive (or negative) ways. he likes seeing that his involvment matters and he suffers when people ignore him or take his oppinions for granted and id love to see stuff centered around this trait

-level 1 leader/planner, sorta connected to the influencing people thing I think tucker really would thrive in leadership roles that danny just isnt suited to handling, big mobs of people and sam on his side and he is a force to be recond with. Tucker thrives in getting big groups of people to side with him esspecially since technology profficientcy isnt a sign of weakness in this day and age. 

plus him working on his public speaking lines up with his motivation of wanting to be attactive to ladies. 

also Having him working on public speaking stuff and general people person scenario’s gives a lot of reason for the group to interact with the A listers in a less hostile scenario

-tech god I guess, becouse tucker foley

Dan Phantom

-Incarnation of discomfort being the unintentional (At least the first time) fusion of a stubborn 14 year old and his crazy 40 year old father figure with very different morals and oppinions makes existing very, very akward for dan, but great comedy fodder!

-dan is able to have legs or a ghostly tail whenever he pleases unlike vlad or danny, becouse I figured it be a good way to make fights more interesting and their fighting styles different becouse I want more vlad involvement and having  them be extra different types of ghosts makes watching either of them fight much more interesting

-wishes to not exist, esspecially in the presense of either danny or vlads love interests becouse WOW thats akward

-WAAAAY more powerful then danny and vlad, partially becouse making dan a final everything is going to hell desperate final action for danny and vlad would make dan’s appearances more interesting but also becouse of difference’s about vlad plasmius and danny phantom I will talk about when I get to them. 

Dan Discomfort Masters

-“Vlad’s nephew” becouse if you’re meeting this guy stuff has gone horrible wrong on the de-fusing front  and he needs a reason to be in either fenton on masters house hold to get whatever he needs to fix the ghost catcher 

- big ol liar pant’s, partially becouse danny and vlad are Huge Liars but also becouse of the whole, I need shit to stop existing 

-Trying to keep it together becouse he’s probably made to interact with people vlad and danny have Opinions On and honestly he cant decide if he wants to viciously prank jack at every oppertunity or punch himself for thinking of being mean to jack, among other such mixed feelings.

Vlad Masters

-Certified genius due to a number of thing’s including his obession, and becouse being smarter then jack makes him happy and if jack ever expressed interest in a subject He Must Be Better, he might not be trying to kill jack becouse he doesnt want to deal with a ghost hunter ghost for who knows how long but he wont be lesser then jack in ANYTHING.

-fruitloop, still has some backwards logic and morals such as having valarie become a ghost hunter to offer a sparring buddy to danny and whats a better motive to shoot at someone then they ruined their life right but he’s generally such a over the top bird brain trying to show off to everyone that fruitloop is the only description he can be given.

-less evil is a Big Thing, he’s still objectively not a very good man but I want him and danny working together and sharing a roof on the weekends but that means not shooting first and asking questions later on site, so a less evil vlad is needed, plus it just generally makes there interactions more fun and less dangerous which is what im going for, since walker can take over a lot of vlads antagonist role in the story plus danny and vlad making agreements to get stuff out of eachother sounds like a hell of a lot of fun, i liked eye for and eye vlad sue me.

- as a side not I want vlad to be a lot less physically fit and practiced with doing things as a human, seeing him as a man who lords his power over others when he can he prefers relaxing and working as plasmius more then masters, which affects his health and serves a purpose in story for a lesson id like made after watching phantom planet last night

Vlad Plasmius

-loving guardian in that he really, really does want to be a good father and mentor figure to danny even if their relationship is rocky due to long standing lies he’s been feeding him and how tight a grip vlad has on his familys financial health. as well as the whole snatching partial costody as soon as costudy was called into question after dannys accident (Ill get to that) vlad’s babysat in the past for the fenton which is part of it, along with his desire to be better at jack in every aspect.

-great implorer, in which he likes to get minions when he can and usually only grumbles if his minions already have plans when he calls for them, pays great by ghost zone and human standards and usually offers a full health plan, though skulkers case that full health plans is for when he gets his head up his ass and thinks he can actually get either danny or vlads pelt, one of skulkers suits is on vlads lab wall with a nice hole where its face should be as a reminder to those who cross him.

-only legs,  meaning he uses 100% more kicks and ground based attacks then danny and can kick below the bet where danny cant, this plus his fire core making him have to get creative lest he burn his surroundings to the ground has him fighting in a very different way to danny, along with his 20 years of experience. vlad tends to fight ghosts with less reason to leave the ghost zone, and invading lairs to get what he wants, leading to more serious encounters then what danny faces in the begining.

-loves dramatics, becouse vlad plasmius everybody he’s a cookyier villian here

-less evil and more ruthless and efficient to those who get in his way, that arnt who percieves as family 

-Plasmius’s obsession is teaching people lessons, in all the good and horrible ways that can imply. halfa’s have more broad and less restrictive obsessions then other ghosts which makes them more dangerous and able to ammas power.

Danny Fenton

-Fenton works heir, which is played up a lot more in this with vlad backing his family and giving them chances to disgrace themselves on public telivision and get shamed out of wherever their currently living, leading them on a series of moves throughout dannys life before amity park show off their inventions to the world! Since Jazz aggressively refused the role it fell on danny and he actually takes it pretty seriously, believing as a little bab in ghosts and being convinced of their evil from a young age by his parents which you can only imagine does great things for him when he becomes a halfa and learns unkie vlad is one as well.

-has been haunted by the creepy ghost boy title his whole like due to his situation and the fact he is usually made to assist in showing off his parents weapons publicly as a apprentice ghost hunter, one such invention was the fenton portal that had a wire loose during the presentation, when he went in and put it back the doors automatically shut him in and jack and maddie didnt notice he was in there still until the screaming started, this led to some public outcry over weather jack and maddie are fit to raise kids and vlad swooping in for partial costudy of both fenton children “to ease the masses, and besides he’s basically helped raise them anyway whats garenteed weekends at one of vlads places going to do?”  it was a sucky situation.

-bad reputation due to general protectiveness of his parents along with terrible social skills, along with his new trouble of hiding and controlling emerging ghost powers.He doesnt leave a initial good impression on sam and tucker when he first meets them as fenton, and people tend to avoid him to keep away from his parents wierdness anyhow.

-is less good in the traditional sense but wants to keep people safe and happy if he can help it, though its argueable if thats simply a manifestation of his obsession or if its just becouse he’s a sweet kid, once he gets it into his head that ghosts arnt always evil he tries really hard to be nice to ghost too and even tries to save them from his parents when he can. putting his neck out for them.

Danny Phantom

-just wants a lair is a shorthand for wanting to just experience regular ghost things when he’s going ghost, he’s less inclined to fight every ghost he see’s unless their actively hurting people and tries to talk them down, not wanting his afterlife filled with enemies when he officially keels over. 

he has big dreams for a super cool lair of his own that are explored upon the one time he’s split apart by the ghost catcher, mostly becouse phantom rips the  door to his room from its hinges and zooms into the ghost zone as soon as he’s out, found aimlessly wondering helplessly looking for the PERFECT location to start building. he tends to day dream about the lair of his dreams in class.

-no leg’s leading to more air combat and trying to immobalize people with his tail, usually fighting fairly though with his moments of cheap shots in partiicularly deadly battles,, he usually fights people like johnny 13 who mess with people then he does generally harmless ghosts like box ghost in the begining, plus with his in development abilities that include a versatile ice core his fights are more strategy  then sheer beat down or creative weapon making (or heating whatever metal the ghost is wearing to the point of insanity) 

Danny also has this little problem where he “died” in a anti ghost hazmat suit made of stuff to weaken and harm a ghost who comes in contact with jack and maddies little boy and it means its harder on him to access his powers, taking more energy to do things that most ghost would find easy like intangibilty and invisibility, which is a major problem for him esspecially at first, danny’s only made aware of this though vlads help and their working on a way to trick the hazmat suit into changing material with what danny was wearing under the suit, since its being difficult with changing on dannys command, he can put stuff over and under the suit but the suit itself is hard to make budge.  the outfit shown above is after danny learns how to at least add stuff over it with vlads help.

dan does not have problem’s with the material of his costume making him have access to all dannys abilities easily, along with vlads experience and power and dannys creative thinking dan gets the nickname of the ultimate enemy with good reason

- Loves exploring, esspecially the ghost zone its so interesting and full of enteraining characters and the food is Amazing at least in ghost form and vlad’s show him some pretty incredible places in the zone when they agree to work together in the sense of vlad stealing madde and jacks thermoses at the end of fenton fights and danny helping him spelunk in the ghost zone,  its a guilty pleasure to be able to show sam and tucker around when they become friends, natural portals are a tempation danny has a hard time ignoring when he see’s one, much to his loved ones annoyance.  wolf is a terrible enablr of a friend.

- due to his obession with proving himself (its the wording i go with now i might change it to something like control or being loved) danny tends to want people to like him and seeing a opertunity to get them to like him sorta throws him off balance and out of fight mode, usually leading to him cuddling up to them, in phantom form dannys a great cuddler. take caution though he’s been known to trick enemys into thinking he’s gone out of fight mode and either shove them into the nearest portal/thurmos or later freezing them where they stand.  dannys terrible with crowds, esspecially crowds of people who dont like him he freezeses up.

Danny to-tired-to-function (school and not working with parents danny)

-cant wait to to graduate, with no plans to go to college becouse he’s not paying for more hell

-is really in a bad place socially and mentally in the begining, but will become a lot happier once he befriends sam and tucker, though before that he tends to do some pretty desperate and embarrasing things to get attention and has a problem with letting people drag him into trouble on the promise of friendship.

Danny’s Chore’s list:

-deadly laundry with ectoplasm contaminated laundry machines to content with

-helping whoever wants to cook, cook, or being in charge of dinner most nights unless someone else wants to cook (breakfast is jazz’s job, maddie and jack are gently discouraged from cooking, jazz and danny usually or use to just grab take out for lunch if they had time)

-cleaning the lab

-dishes with ecto contaminated dishwasher are always a little dangerous damn appliances and their wills to reak havoc, jazz likes to help make sure it doesnt hurt anyone since its more dangerous then the laundry machines

-assembling weapons with parents for the vault, or incase of a huge ghost invasion so everyone has a chance at a weapon, danny usually just assembles the less dangerous stuff that doesnt require a lot of welding

-general house maintense, vacuuming and window cleaning while jazz mops and dusts 

-jazz cleans the weapons vault after learning dannys secret becouse its a lot less dangerous for her then for him and hes infinitly grateful

AND DONE thats some of my thoughts on what could be done with a re design of the characters and story beats listed, im tired of writing now but enjoyed getting this out

[ellana-ravenwood]

Professor Wayne - Bruce Wayne x Reader part 2.5/4 (Erotica-ish)

FINISHED SERIES : PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4

Well here we are. I know, I took my sweet time to upload. And this is also only a short update, and a sort of transition. It’s because of this all “December 17th” thing, and how loads of my stories were wrongfully took down. Now everything is back to normal (after almost a month) and I can write what I wanted to initially write...Erotica included. 

IMPORTANT WARNING : THIS IS EROTICA ! THIS IS NOT FOR YOU IF YOU ARE UNDERAGED, I GODDAMN MEAN IT. Like there’s cute and sweet feelings in the mix, but also...smut, so if you’re not 18 or more, or if you’re not comfortable with that sort of things etc etc, this story ain’t for you. I have tons of other very SFW story, for averyone to read, and if you wanna check those out instead, it’s right here, on My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives​.

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                                                   ******

The fact that this all thing is wrong kinda evaporates into thin air as your lips moves against his.  

The thought about you two being teacher and student, and that you shouldn’t do this, doesn’t exist anymore. The faint guilt he felt because he thought he might take advantage of a weak moment of yours...is gone. 

Because you’re kissing him too passionately for this to only be happening cause you feel down. And before he knows it, his arms snake around your waist and bring you closer to him. Flushed against him. 

You can’t believe it. Professor Wayne is kissing you. And you’re kissing him.

And this time, it’s real. 

You throw your arms around his neck. One of your hand goes to tangle itself in his hair and he shifts his head slightly to have better access to your mouth and...wow. The man knows what he is doing. 

Exactly like you imagined this would be. Except that it’s him, whose tongue softly runs across your lower lip, demanding access. And you’d be damned if you don’t grant it to him. And it’s...real. 

You’re really making out with him. Fuck. How did THAT happen ? 

Oh, right. Months of friendly banter at the cafe you work at. Him being the best teacher ever, you being his best student ever. You getting mugged, and him taking care of you and...Everything snapping at the same time. 

It actually makes perfect sense. 

In a spur of passion he backs you against his desk, and you’re not quite sure how but you’re laying on top of it now, and he’s above you. You managed to get his coat off of him, and your fists bunch in the front of his shirt, bringing him closer as he holds himself above you, his hands on each side of your face. 

Ffff...You’re really kissing him. And he definitely is kissing you back. And now he’s placing his body in between your legs and you wrap your arms around his shoulders again, to keep him there. But he has no intention of moving away, as his own hands grab your waist and...

The sound of shattered glass makes you shoot your eyes open. 

Surprised, he pulls away from you and look to the source of the noise, praying to every gods out there that someone DIDN’T walk in just now ! 

Fortunately, it’s not that. 

It’s his mug. 

His mug full of cold overbrewed tea just shattered on the floor. 

And totally ruined the mood. 

Damn, of course clumsy you would push that damn mug off of the desk ! Such bad timing ! Or...Was it his fault ? As he was pushing you up said desk a bit more ? In any case, the mug is broken and now you’re suddenly very aware of how close Professor Wayne is to you. 

That mug just fucking ruined the mood alright. Brought you back to that unpleasant thing called “reality”. Made you realize what you were doing. The haze of passion slowly fading away. 

He steps away from you clumsily, and helps you sit straight back up, but takes his time to actually fully move away from you, helping you back on your feet. 

You’re so embarrassed. You avoid his gaze as you smooth your clothes down, looking around the room for the coat he through off of you. 

This is...Awkward. Not as weird as you’d think, but definitely extremely awkward and uncomfortable. You just can’t look at him right now. 

What the hell got into you, kissing him like that ? 

The moment seemed so right but now, after the unfortunate mug incident that kinda also broke this beautiful bubble you two were in...It’s just awkward. 

************

He turns to you again, and he feels like he’s back in high school the day he had his first kiss. So bashful. Nervous. Unsure. 

He rubs his neck nervously and just can’t find anything to say. He wants to make you comfortable again as he sees you’re avoiding his eyes but...He just can’t think, for the life of him, of anything to say ! 

He can’t just go  : “nice kiss, wanna give it another shot ?”...or can he ? He knows you’d say “yes”. Wait. No. No he can’t. 

The mug breaking reminded him of where you guys were, and how dangerous it was for you and him to make out here. It would be catastrophic for the both of you, if anyone found out this ever happened. 

But...He does want to kiss you again. Badly. 

He’s pretty sure his cheeks are a nice shade of pink by now, as he gazes back at you and you let out a little nervous laugh, still avoiding his eyes. Damn. He couldn’t even remember the last time he blushed because he kissed a girl. 

“I um...I...We...This isn’t...”

Nope. Really. He can’t think of anything to say. He rubs nervously at his neck again, and wonders were his confidence all went. 

He’ve always been sure of himself. Always was able to change an awkward situation into a pleasant moment. Always been very good with words. But here, in that moment, with you...He’s a little lost. 

He can’t recall the last time he felt like that. Actually, he’s pretty sure he never felt like that before. And it’s a bit scary, because right now, he really needs to say something to make you comfortable again. 

He hates to see you so embarrassed and oh god you’re probably thinking about how big of a pig he is kissing you like that. You’re probably thinking this was a huge mistake and he hates it. 

He hates the simple thought of you maybe regretting this right now, which would explain why you so resolutely avoid his eyes. He hates it. 

Because for the first time in...forever really, he feels completely at ease. He feels like that kid he used to be before his parents’ murder. 

The one that loved to roam around his gigantic house, that was carefree and thought nothing back could ever happen to him or anyone he loved...The realization of this downs on him all of a sudden, and it finishes what his mug started : the mood is most definitely ruined. 

No one will ever know what would have happened if he didn’t realize what he was feeling. He’s pretty sure he would have resumed kissing you, even in this dangerous place, so exposed to someone walking in on you two. 

He’s pretty sure he would have just made love to you, right here, without another thought about anything. And he knows you would have let him...Knows you wanted it too. 

Shit. The mere fact that he thought “making love” and not “have sex” put everything under a new light. Everything that just happened in perspective. 

Shit. Fuck. Oh man. 

Shit...

He takes a few steps away from you, and run a hand through his hair, looking away from you. Taking a deep, slightly panicked, breath. 

Fuck. 

************

Oh man.

Ok. What just happened ? 

Sure, things were a bit awkward and all but the way Bruce just walked away from you right now, and was avoiding your gaze and made that...face. That face that you interpreted as him realizing what he just did and regretting it.

Well, it hurt. It actually genuinely hurt. What did you do ? Was it because you got all embarrassed ? Maybe he thinks you’re too immature ? You did just act a bit in an immature way by being so damn bashful because of a broken cup ! 

And Professor Wayne is...Well, he’s a mature man. Older than you for sure. More experienced too. And oh jeez now you’re thinking about Miss Kyle. 

Wonderful, sexy, probably way more experienced than you too Miss Kyle.

Oh what if you were a terrible kisser ? So bad in fact that he had to process it for a while and was only now regretting it and...He looks at you again now, and there’s something in his eyes you can’t really pinpoint. 

It kinda freaks you out. Because this kiss changed everything. You hate yourself for feeling that way, for being such a naive girl, but...it really did. 

So far, you thought you could ignore your growing feelings for Professor Wayne. After all, it was just a crush. So many others had a huge crush on him too, just in your class. And on campus, he was known to be beloved even by those who didn’t take his class ! 

A crush, you could deal with. A crush would pass. A crush was just a phase, and you just needed to meet another guy or girl that was fantastic and boom, the crush would end. 

But this kiss...This kiss, it made you realize that it wasn’t “just a crush” anymore. Somewhere along the way, during all your banter at the cafe, and those months of talking and such...You kinda fell for him. 

Anyway, where were you gonna meet someone as fantastic as him ? Even if you were still in the crush phase, you were doomed...So the fact that he just walked away from you like that, and was now sighing a lot and running his hands in his hair way too much and just staring at you so intensely...It freaks you out. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He says, and your heart drops. Well, this all thing was cut short. You barely had time to kinda fondle each others, and kiss, and it was already over. 

Because you were sure that his “I’m sorry” was going to be followed by a “we can’t do this you’re my student” or some bullshit excuse like that. This kiss started because he wanted to comfort you anyway. 

It was in the heat of the moment. You felt vulnerable, and he was taking care of you and it just kinda happened. Sure he kissed you first but...but...but...

You wanted to cry again. And you hated yourself for that. Damn. What a damn whimp you were being, crying over a guy you didn’t even date. Just made out with. Suddenly. And then it was over, just as suddenly. 

You sucked it up and turned to him. 

************

Oh no. No no no no no. He could see in your eyes that you totally misunderstood what he just said. He could read you like a book (well, it was easy, given the fact that the corner of your eyes were damped again). And he had to clear the situation quick, before you’d find an excuse to bolt and avoid him for the rest of his life. 

He knew you enough that it could be a possibility, if he wasn’t quick enough. That you could decide to act before he could, and run away. From his understanding, you did that a lot. Whenever there was a situation that was too much for you to handle, you’d “run to hide in your room, and watch your favorite TV show or something, to take your mind off of everything”. 

You told him that, one evening, when the café was calm and you were able to actually sit with him while he was having his ridiculous coffee order and beloved beignet. 

“I’m not sorry I kissed you ! I mean I was, I really was. Until you kissed me in return. Like I’m sorry I kissed you first, but I’m not sorry I kissed you !” 

He mentally face palmed himself. A thing that he found himself doing a lot, when you were around. You always seemed to make him loose any mental capacity he had. 

He knew he was a smart man. A quick thinker. But whenever you were around, it seemed like he was just a stupid awkward teenager at times. Like right now. He couldn’t gather his thoughts properly. 

More often than not, he would think about doing something, and then you’d come in and...All his plans would burn away. Like the fact he promised himself not to go easy on you in classes, or how he always say “I’m just ordering an espresso and a beignet and then I’m out”, but ended up staying until the coffee shop would close...

And now you were smiling, and it made him loose his train of thought even more...He somehow managed to continue : 

“I’m sorry I...don’t remember. I don’t remember why I was saying I’m sorry. It made sense, I swear. Oh and now you must think I’m an idiot. I promise I’m not.” 

You smile some more at him, apparently relieved, and say : 

“I know you’re not. You’re my professor, I know how smart you really are...” 

There’s a mischievous tone in your voice and...Oh. Perfect. You’re totally making fun of him now. Mentioning the fact he’s your teacher as well...You wicked wench. 

He can see in the way your eyes are smiling, that you’re enjoying him stumbling on his words and such. Maybe because you’re glad you’re making him feel that way ? If it’s the case, then he can ignore the little humiliation of being such a doofus in your presence... 

“Right. Yes. I am. Um...What did I want to say ?” 

“I don’t know, I’m not in your head. You were talking about being sorry, but forgetting why you were sorry because you definitely are not sorry you kissed me.” 

Fff...It’s fascinating, how you always seem to manage to turn situations around. 

He saw you countless time spilling coffee all over you at your work, and each time you started by being flustered and embarrassed, but always manage to crack a joke and make customers laugh. 

Quick witted. Smart. That’s what you were. He lost himself in your eyes for a second, and the childish grin that spread across your features. Coming closer to you once more, reaching for your waist. 

Damn you were beautiful. He really wanted to kiss you again...Wait, no ! That’s what he wanted to say ! 

“Ah ! I remember !” 

The sudden way he exclaimed this makes you jump a bit in the air, and you take a few steps back, putting some distance between you two again. 

This time, it’s his turn to grin, though he had no intention of jump scaring you. You shake your head and sigh, and give him a “what the hell ?” face before he continues : 

“I’m sorry because I...I put your entire future in this school in jeopardy.”

You’re confused for a second. Ugh ? Wasn’t it the other way around ? 

“Gotham uni has very strict rules about romance between its faculty members. And even stricter ones about this between teachers and students. You would have been in trouble if we were to be found out...”

“Wouldn’t you have been in more trouble ?” 

“Actually, no. I’m a well loved teacher here, and people know that I’m...liked. Most likely the board member would have given me a warning but fire you for trying to bribe me with...With...” 

You turn white, and then red. But not from embarrassment, from anger, as you say, outraged : 

“What ?! Those bastards ! You kissed me first ! They can’t expel me for that !” 

Bruce smiles and gently reminds you : 

“Well, they’re not. We weren’t found out. But if it happened...you would have been expelled. I know this. More than once a few of the board member hinted at me that they um...”admired me” for my self-control, what with all my beautiful students and all, flirting with me constantly.” 

“Gross...”

“Yeah, I think so too. I actually always was disgusted by the mere thought of me ever hooking up with a student because...It’s just not right.” 

“...Thank you.” 

“What ? Why are you...Wait no shit. That’s not what I meant ! Until now I always thought...Uh...Would you please stop looking at me like that ?” 

“Like what ?”

“Just...Turn around.”

“...Are you serious ?” 

“Yes, yes I’m serious, turn around !” 

For the tenth time that night, Bruce slaps himself mentally. 

This definitely not was how he pictured his big revelation. His explanation to you about how he felt about you. Nope. He thought he was going to be all smooth and all, and that you would swoon over him. 

It’s...interesting, how he’ve always been able to be charming and flirty with people he didn’t care about, but was always so clumsy with people he actually liked. 

It used to be the same with Selina, at first, when he thought he loved her. Though after a while he regained his smoothness and wittiness...maybe it’d be the same with you ? Just awkward at first and then he could regain his “sexy charming charismatic professor” status ?

He shook his head, and looked at you. Your back was to him now, and he slapped himself mentally once more. “Turn around” ? Really ? Ugh. 

He just couldn’t think, with you looking at him like that. With your...Eyes and all. Um. Well. This wasn’t his most brilliant moment for sure. 

With yet another sigh, he turned back to you. Or rather, to your back. Without seeing your face, he knew you had that “what the hell ?” expression back on. 

“I..In my head, I prepared a all speech about how I was sorry I endangered your education just because I couldn’t resist kissing you anymore. I was going to tell you about how those months of talking at the cafe meant more to me than it appeared. How I never went there before, up until I realized you worked there. How I’ve never been so impressed with someone’s essays. How I didn’t want to call Selina anymore. I prepared a speech mentally, to tell you all this, and now it’s all coming out wrong and sounds like I’m regretting it but I don’t. I really don’t. I’m rambling nonsense right now, because of how much I don’t regret kissing you. I’m sorry I did it here, putting your future in danger. But I..I’m...I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry about kissing you where anyone could walk in any seconds and therefor risking you being expelled. And that’s the third time I say that, sorry. And I was also trying to insert somewhere, in my speech, something about how you were the only student I ever looked at this way, because your essays move me, because you’re more hard working and smarter than most, because you go beyond my class to learn and...I don’t know, I just think you’re awesome. You make me feel like a teenage boy right now. Jeez, did I just say you were “awesome” ? Do you see what you’re doing to me ? You turn me into a stupid kid who can’t talk normally and who’s STILL blabbering right now. You must think I’m an idiot. And oh look, we’re back a few minutes ago when I said exactly that. Yet I’m still talking. I still hear myself talk. And you’re not helping me you’re just listening. I bet you kinda like that uh ? Me rambling. Not being that collected and calm as I like to present myself usually ? I know you like to lightly mock people. You said it once, in the cafe. It’s your witty sarcastic side, I love it. Especially when you talk back to Fryer, that little shit...Wait why am I talking to Fryer right now ? See, once again I don’t know what I’m saying ! I prepared a clear, short and to the point speech in my head, and I can’t seem to shut up ! But here it is, what I meant : for the fourth time, I’m sorry I kissed you in such a place, and like, was ready to...on the desk...wait scratch that, it makes me sound like an asshole, I didn’t...I mean I did want, I did want you but I...um...I’m sorry. Will you go out to dinner with me ?” 

By the end of his clumsy and extremely cute speech, you already had turned back to face him. He claimed half his speech to your back, but when he started to talk about how special you were, you couldn’t help but turn to him. 

Wow. You would have never thought that Professor Wayne could get that flustered. And all of that, because of you. This was great for your non existant ego. And the way he was looking at you now, hopeful that you wouldn’t turn him down after his long monologue ? It was sweet. 

It made you feel nice. Confident. And damn, only this man could make you feel confident like that ! It reminded you of all the comments he wrote on your essays, encouraging and praising you. He had just the words to make you actually feel special. 

With a smile you say : 

“Well. I kinda want to kiss you know but I wouldn’t risk getting expelled so...Friday, 8 pm ? Let’s meet at Gotham’s piers. Like you can’t come pick me up at my dorm so...Yeah.” 

“Goth...am’s piers ?”

“Yeah. You do know where Gotham’s piers are right ?” 

“Yes.” 

“So...8 pm next Friday ?” 

“Um yes, yes good. 8 pm next Friday, Gotham’s piers. Great. Good.”

“We’ll talk about this more then, then ? I wouldn’t wanna be expelled for hanging out that late in your office, you know.” 

Oh. Ooooh evil wench. The way you smiled, the spark in your eyes. You were taunting him. ...You were playing a very dangerous game. But before he could do anything, you were walking out of the classroom. With a last look to him, you said : 

“See you tomorrow then, Professor Wayne.”

The emphasis you put on the word “professor” made him shiver. You continued : 

“For what it’s worth, and as bad an idea as it actually was...I would have let you.” 

He’s confused for a second, and asks : “Let me what ?” 

“Oh you know, on the desk.” 

You wink at him and just like that, you’re out of his office. 

Oh. My. God. Did you just...imply that...Oh. Bruce had never felt so flush before in his life. He had to sit down. Wow. Well. You were definitely something else. He couldn’t believe how things turned out tonight. 

From you having a mental breakdown, to him not able to not kiss you, and then rambling for ages to...this. Wow. 

Friday 8 pm. Gotham’s piers. For the first time in his life, Bruce Wayne was excited about a date. 

************

Your apparent confidence after Bruce told you he thought you were special and wanted to date you (basically) had completely vanished. 

It was Friday. 7:45 pm. And you were on pier 9 (the one you agreed to meet on) and pondering wether you should run away or not. 

This past few days had been very unnerving. Probably as a vengeance for the infamous “desk” comment you told him before leaving (the hell you were thinking about ?! Damn, confidence was a dangerous thing, it made you say things like...that), Bruce drove you crazy the past few days ! 

You started to talk with him discreetly via post-it notes that you hid on your essays and in papers he was passing around. It was exciting, to try and not get anyone to notice ! 

Fucking William Fryer saw one of the notes he wrote you and made a spectacle out of it ! The note read : “Those jeans you’re wearing are really working for you...They are also really working for me, too” and was of course one of the most daring Bruce send you. 

You had to invent a bullshit excuse, in front of the entire class, blabbering about your boyfriend putting such post-it notes in your stuffs for you to find during the day and blahblahblah...So embarrassing. 

It highly amused Professor Wayne. Of course it did. And then every evening, he’d come in the cafe as if nothing ever happened and it. Drove. You. Crazy ! 

He was good. He was really good. And definitely making you pay for this little desk joke (though it wasn’t totally a joke, if things had went that far that night, you definitely would have let him take you right there and then, on his hopefully sturdy desk). 

And because of those last few days of him kinda toying with you masterfully (the man WAS more experienced), you were now a mess of stress and oh my god this first date was going to go horribly, and he’d realize you weren’t that special and end everything before you could even...

“Hello, miss (Y/L/N).” 

Your heart skipped a beat. Actually, a few beats. You turn and here he is... 

“Shall we ?” 

He says charmingly, giving you his arm. And man he looks good. 

************

Best. First date. Ever ! 

You have no idea how he managed it, but he somehow remembered every single thing you told him you liked. He first took you to a restaurant serving your favorite food, to then go to an “escape room” (of course you loved nerdy puzzle solving). He actually took you to the one known to be the toughest, called “E. Nygma’s house of Enigmas” (not a very original name but ok) and you had a blast, solving puzzles with him ! 

You made it out of the escape room barely in time before the countdown, and you’re pretty sure the owner of the place, the conveniently named “E. Nygma”, was kinda pissed you managed to get out. Apparently you two were the first to achieve this feat. 

Bruce then took you for a walk in the park, and you talked for ages while drinking coffee (you laughed way too much when the  barista thought the double espresso was for Bruce, and his ridiculous coffee order was for you...apparently, the poor barista couldn’t even fathom a man like Bruce getting such a ridiculous kind of coffee).

After making some fun of him, he took you to the park. You sat down on a bench and talked way too long, about anything and...

It was a great first date. And it felt like you and Bruce had been friend since forever. Things went so smoothly between the two of you ! You had lots in common, but also a lot of differences which made things perfect. 

The difference in age wasn’t really noticeable, in the end, because you were...”special”. Mature. Incredible. 

He showered you with compliments all night, and by the time it was time to go home, you were a blushing mess and just didn’t know how to respond anymore...

How could a guy like him think you were such a great person ? Such a beautiful woman ? He dated people like Selina Kyle before you for god’s sake ! And yet, he managed to make you believe every single words he said. 

Probably because he meant all of them...Here we go again, Bruce Wayne, the only man that could make you feel so good about yourself ! 

Somewhere along the night, he told you to call him “Bruce” (people around you were starting to give you weird looks, because you kept calling him “professor” while you two were clearly on a date...they probably thought it was a weird kink or something), and his name rolled naturally on your tongue. 

Just like your name rolled on his. 

You were actually disappointed that the night was about to end. It was really late, starting to get cold and...You really should get back to the dorm. 

You both knew it. And so he stood up and said : 

“Well, I guess I should get you home uh ?” 

************

Yeah. You never made it to your dorm. 

He was driving you back to the university, and somehow, ended up driving back to his own apartment. 

It was all kind of a blur. He stopped his car at a particularly long red light, and you mentioned the fact that he couldn’t really give you a “good night kiss” on campus, so he really should give it to you know. 

When he obliged, things got quite...heated. Only a car behind you honking at you to move as the light turned green brought you back to your senses. Damn. Making out with your professor on the passenger seat of his car was quite something. And, just like that, you both changed your mind about “going home”. 

He was still taking you home, just, not your dorm. 

You barely paid attention to his apartment as you entered and as soon as he closed his door...He was all around you. 

Backed up against the door, your legs around his waist. 

How the hell did you loose your shirt so fast ? And wow you never undid buttons from a dress shirt that fast before, but here you were, undressing him expertly. 

Your hands ran up and down his muscular chest and damn, the man really was working out. He was even more ripped than you imagined...Your touch made him groan and the next instant off were your pants ! 

He caught you in his arms, and walked to his bedroom. Laid you delicately on his bed, and still kissing, you guys managed to get rid of the rest of your clothes. 

Wow. You never thought of yourself as a “sleep on the first date” kind of girl. Especially not with...Him. You thought it would take a few awkward dates. If it ever happened, to be honest ! Because you were so sure he would quickly discover how un-special and plain you were ! 

And yet. Here you were, on his bed, stark naked, fumbling with the zipper of his pants to take it off as he was furiously making out with him. 

That first date you dreaded so much went perfectly well. Better than you’d ever thought ! And...Oh jeez you’d just never thought you ever ended up here ! 

And now he’s making you dizzy by peppering your neck, chest, belly, with soft wet kisses and...Wow. 

He looks up at you with hungry eyes, and stops.

No. No what ? Why did he stop ? Is he having second thoughts ? 

He hovers over you and looks at you. One of his hand goes to softly caress your cheek while the other rests beside your head. 

“Are you ok ?” 

You’re taken aback by his question. I mean, it’s very sweet of him to ask but you were pretty sure that the way you kissed him, and moan whenever he sucked at your skin was pretty self-explanatory ! 

You nod, not trusting your voice right now and he looks so intensely at you...it makes you a bit self-conscious, and you close your arms around your chest, trying to hide yourself from him. 

He frowns, but also seems worried...You avoid his gaze, insecurities flying back in. Until he kisses your cheek. 

As simple as that. He doesn’t touch you anywhere else, just kisses your cheek. Your forehead. Your eyelids. Your nose. 

He hovers over you, in his glorious nakedness (and he looks VERY good), and you can definitely see all his thoughts aren’t really that pure as he’s hard as a rock (you can feel it, brushing against your thigh whenever he bends down to kiss you tenderly). 

But he doesn’t make a move regarding that. Instead, he kisses your all face, before going back to your lips and licking them sweetly. 

You open your mouth to him, and your tongue dances with his for a moment, before he pulls away again and this time goes to kiss your neck. From where it joins with your shoulder, to your ears. 

He doesn’t miss a spot. And then he goes back to kissing you on the mouth. 

Slowly but surely, he goes down, and down, and down. 

When he reaches your breast, he stops going back up to kiss your mouth, but his gaze doesn’t leave yours. 

It’s incredibly sexy, the way his eyes fixes on you, as he proceeds to kiss and lick at every inch of your upper body. Going slowly, making sure “you are ok”. 

And then he reaches that sweetest spot...Looking at you, you nod. 

You are soaking wet – have been soaking wet – and you can see him smiling in the moonlight going through his apartment window, as he teases you softly with his finger.

And then his tongue slips into your hole. His fingers are gripping your thighs as he eats you out. His tongue laps at your wetness before flicking across your clit.

And you kinda loose control. You knew where he was getting at with all his ministrations, but you didn’t expect him to be that good at it. You let out a whimper as Bruce’s tongue keeps flicking across your clit. When you let out a stifled moan, he moves his face away.

"There’s no need for you to be quiet...(Y/N).” 

Him using your name in that situation makes you even hotter, and to his great pleasure, you let out an embarrassingly loud moan as he laps at you again. 

His face is against your pussy and his tongue is back, flickering and sucking on your clit. You make small noises as you arch your back. You know you are grinding your pussy against his face but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seems to like it from the way he is working you over.

One of your hand is gripping the bed as your other hand grabs his hair. And hearing the small aroused growl he lets out drives you wild. Ok. Something to remember, his moans are sexy, and he likes his hair pulled. 

And then, without warnings, you are comming. Your hips are bucking as you are. Bruce is holding onto your waist as he laps at your pussy, tasting you feverishly. Your head rolls back and all you can focus on is how fucking good you feel. You have never cum from a guy eating you out before. Most of the time, they had no idea what they were doing. Clearly, Bruce does. The perks of being with an older more experienced man ? 

Then you are laying against the bed, gasping for breath. He is climbing on top of you and is kissing you again. He tastes like you as your tongues meet.

You want to give back to him, but he doesn’t let you. Instead, he reaches for a drawer in his nightstand and takes a condom out. He lets you wrap it around him though, which is already something you guess...

He lines himself up with your entrance and gives you a last questioning look. He wants to make sure you’re ok with this...You nod once more, unable to say anything else and then...then...

He slowly pushes in a bit, then pulls out, just to push back in again. Bit by bit, slowly. Working you open softly, without any brusque gestures. He takes you slowly, delightfully. 

His dick carefully entering you inch by inch, until after a while, he’s fully sheathed inside you and stop moving. 

You felt no pain. The way he poked inside you a little bit just to pull out again, and then back inside a bit further...It didn’t hurt at all. Yes. He really knows what he’s doing. 

You wriggle against him, wanting him to move now, and he gets the message. He bends down to kiss you passionately as his hips rocks against you steadily, purposefully, slowly. 

And it’s...amazing. 

Your moans die in his mouth, and when you join his rhythm by moving your own hips his growls die in yours. 

Your both panting mess, as you move together, in perfect synch. 

It’s sweet, and it’s loving, and it’s something else. 

You’ve never experienced that. He makes you question so much about yourself...up until now, you thought you liked it fast and hard. But here he was, taking his time and building your pleasure more than anyone else did before. 

You were sure that he could get rough if you asked, but this was...a perfect first time with someone. Perfect first time with him. 

Learning to discover the other’s body, at your own pace. Finding all those sweet spots. Touching and kissing.  

You came a second time without even realizing it was coming, shaking against him and tightening around him. Soon after, he followed, and fell at your side, exhausted. You cuddle up against him, and he holds you close. 

As simple as that. And once again, it feels utterly natural. As if you alway knew each others. As if you’ve been together for years. 

This..This was really a great first date. 

************

Six months of utter and perfect bliss ! 

You’ve been secretly dating “Professor” Wayne for six amazing months. 

The secrecy of your relationship didn’t really bother you, you knew it wasn’t forever. None of you said “I love you” yet of course, it was way too early and for now...for now you were just appreciating being with someone who just seemed to get you so completely. 

From talking about forensics for entire nights, to mocking each others’ coffee taste. It was awesome. 

You’ve never been so glad before to live in such a huge place as Gotham. The chances of you and him being out and running into someone you knew were very slim, and in six months, it didn’t happen once. 

More often than not, you’d spend the night at his place, and would take public transports back to uni (he couldn’t really drive you there..not now at least). 

You took each other in every room on every piece of furniture in his apartment. You were so complementary in everything, sex included ! 

You couldn't believe your boyfriend was...Damn. And he couldn’t believe how happy he felt, how carefree and...damn. 

Sure there were a few bump in the road, it wasn’t always easy to act as mere student and teacher every morning, but it was still good. You were fuming in jealousy whenever a fellow student went to flirt with Bruce, and more often than not you wished you could yell out loud that he was yours and that just the night before, you two were a bit adventurous and ended up finally doing it on the very same desk (the door to the office was close of course)your bitch ass was leaning on trying to flirt with him! 

But those were minor setbacks. 

Other than that, things were doing great. And you were finally in a good mood...Dating someone like Bruce was such a huge help, on every aspect of your life. He help for your studies, but also helped you “growing up” etc etc. He...He was great. 

And you were a breath of fresh air for him, the fact you were younger a blessing in the end. But he knew that the age difference wasn’t really a problem...and once you both realized that it was too late to care about the teacher/student thing...Plus you were so smart, witty, sarcastic. You never hesitated to tell him exactly what you thought, and you were...just exactly what he needed to “live” again. 

Yes. Everything was great. Or...So you thought. 

************

Things were getting serious. 

You still didn’t say “I love you” yet, but it was spring break and he asked you if you wanted to come with him to San Francisco...This seminar he tried to avoid ? In the end the Uni principal kinda forced him to go. 

But he figured that if you came with him, things would be more bearable. Besides, San Fran’ was a beautiful city and you never even really left Gotham before ! 

It was exciting. And it also meant...Yes. Things were getting serious. 

Good. There were times when you were a bit worried, because you two really had to be discreet...But the only reason you had to, was because of stupid school rules. And Bruce was risking his reputation just to be with you. You were risking your education for it too ! It meant something right ? 

Yes it did. Besides you knew there were a few times he almost said those three beautiful words, and a few times ou almost did. 

It was getting serious. For real. 

Which wasn’t really a surprise, given the instant connection you had once you started to truly talk and such...

At times, you knew Bruce felt a bit guilty. And that dating you was unethical for him and he struggled with it sometimes...But the fact he was still sticking around and actually kissed you first and asked you first on a date and all was reassuring. 

His concerns were normal. He was just always afraid to ruin your life or something. To take advantage of you even if you voiced more than once how much you liked when he “took advantage” of you. 

You understood him nonetheless. You understood him so fully...Or so you thought. 

Today marked the date you were suppose to go to San Francisco with him. It was established that you’d meet at Gotham’s train station and take a train to NYC to take a plane there to San Fran (it was the cheapest option + it allowed you two to spend a night in NYC that you always dreamt of seeing). 

You were waiting, with your bags, at the station when he arrived.

Instantly, you knew something was wrong. He seemed...Colder than usual. He didn’t go to take you in his arms, or kiss you, as he always did when you two reunited secretly. 

He kept his distance, and kept looking back behind him as if waiting for someone and...Your blood froze. You heard your heart broke. 

Selina Kyle. 

That’s why he wasn’t walking straight to you. He...Wait...what ?

She had her hand in his now, and he was turning his back to you. What the hell ? 

Your brain refused to work, and you stayed there, frozen in place, looking at them. He kissed her passionately, wrapping his arms around her like he did with you. He kissed her more passionately than when you saw them together years ago, when they were suppose to be together, and you were a mere freshman on campus. 

What...What was happening ? Were you having a nightmare ? 

They exchanged a few words you didn’t hear, and she went into the train that was going to NYC. And then he turned to you, and walked slowly in your direction. 

You couldn't utter a word, he started anyway : 

“Hey Miss (Y/L/N). So. Um. This thing between you and I, it’s over. Sorry to be so abrupt, but I figured it would be better. Like ripping a bandaid you know. And sorry if I made you think it was leading anywhere...Selina called me back a few days ago and made me realize something. I love her. You...You were just a distraction, I guess.” 

Wh...What ? Each words coming out of his mouth was like a knife in your heart. It sounded so surreal. As if you had been thrown into a bad telenovela with a hundred plot twist a second. 

“Don’t look at me like that (Y/N), you knew what you were getting yourself into. I mean, what did you expect ? I’m your teacher. I had a momentary...moment of madness I guess. Your smile was cute. And you’re smart, I always liked smart women. Seeing you hurt that night it all started, kinda triggered a protective side in me too, that I mistook for attraction. But I’m...I’m in love with Selina. Everything is clear to me now.”

You just wanted him to stop talking. Silently, because you had nothing to say, you picked up your bag. Stared at him. You didn’t even feel angry just...Empty. 

And stupid. Oh so stupid. 

Of course. He was right. Confirming all your insecurities. How could such an amazing man ever even like you ? 

“All those things I told you. They’re true you know. You are special. You are...beautiful. You are an amazing woman. You’re just not the one for me.” 

You shake your head. And you smile at him. Of a sad fatalist smile. This was harsh to hear, but...What could you do ? You know that you can’t force someone to love you. Besides, he was still being nice. Still standing by his points, saying you were great. 

“You’re just not the one for me”. Of course you’re not. And you’d beat yourself up for ever thinking you might be. You should’ve known that if Selina Kyle was ever back in the picture, she’d be the one ! You were just one of his plain student. That he had somewhat of a crush on, maybe. And that helped him get through lonely nights. 

You felt dumb. Not angry or anything. Just...Dumb. You smiled sadly at him again, and shakes your head one last time saying : 

“I’m such an idiot. Sorry. Bye B...Professor Wayne.”

And you leave. You have nothing else to say. And you don’t want to hear him anymore. You barely register that he was still talking as you left and you...you just feel empty. And so dumb, that you’re so hurt by this..You should’ve known. 

You should’ve known.

You’re not good enough for a man like Bruce Wayne. 

************

Looking at you leaving, Bruce sighs and climbs in the train, joining Selina. He looks sadly out of the window, at your form disappearing in the station’s crowd. 

The six months of bliss were over. 

To be continued...

________________________________________________

Well. Hope you liked it. Actual chapter 3 coming out soon (way longer than this transition one, AND will contain ACTUAL smut not just whatever this little thing was), and in case you’re wondering  why instead of a 2.5 chapter I didn’t just add a new one and made this series “5″ parts...it’s because I don’t like the number “5″. Totally logical. All that to say : this was just a quick interlude written in an hour at 4 am because I suddenly had inspiration about it, and blahblahblah. Bonus, I guess. I’m aware a lot of things happen in it, and it’s probably very shitty. If it sucks, it’s because I wrote this while being very sleep-deprived, like I wouldn’t be surprised if some paragraph makes no sense, and know I won’t have time or the want to re-write it later as it’s often the case when I have a spur of inspiration for a story, once it leaves it’s over for the chapter and I have to restart everything and ugh (yes, trying to find meself some excuses...). On that note, I’m off to bed. 

Just a reminder : feedbacks are always MORE than welcomed ! And reblogs became a vital part to spread my work around now as I don’t appear in Tumblr searches anymore :). My last story, the one with Jason and reader drinking tequila, got a lot of feedbacks and all and I’m CONVINCED it’s thanks to all of y’all that were nice enough to reblog and share it <3. 

[dylanobemineforever]

My Savior - A Mitch Rapp Series / Chapter Three

Chapter One << Chapter Two << Chapter Three << Chapter Four

Author’s note: Sooo... idk what to think of this series. Should I continue or not? I don’t get a lot of feedback so idk *shrugs* Also I didn’t really proofread this, so there are probably a lot of mistakes here.

Warnings: swearing... but other than that nothing really... (smut will follow though and I am actually kinda nervous about writing it, because I haven’t done that yet, so if anyone here is willing to maybe help me with that part, that would be awesome *winks*)

Word count: 3,5k

Pairing: Mitch x Reader (not yet, but we are getting there ;) )

The days passed by and were all pretty much the same: getting up at five, going for a run, taking a shower, breakfast, more training like combat, shooting or swimming, lunch, language practice and culture studies, dinner. After dinner you usually had the rest of the day to yourselves to relax and clear your heads, but you always seemed to find yourself back in the gym either swimming track, running on a treadmill or kicking a punching bag or a dummy. It’s been over a week now since the incident happened and for some reason it still weighed heavy on you. Since then you had barley slept and all the physical training started to wear you down. Mitch hadn’t said anything to you, hell he didn’t even look at you! Of course you couldn’t blame him, but you still felt shitty about it. On more than one occasion you tried to approach him, seeing him always alone and on his own, but he would always just walk the other way. And again, you couldn’t really blame him, but you were trying to make up for it and you didn’t understand why he was so pettish about it and it made you angry, but you were still not giving up. Something told you that his behavior wasn’t solely because of what had happened but something else too and usually your intuition was never too far off. You were good at reading people and seeing straight through them. Mitch was just a bit harder to read, but definitely not impossible.

You took your food tray and looked around for a place to sit. Most of the trainees weren’t there yet, you being one of the first that evening, so many tables were still unoccupied. A heavy and long sigh left your lips as you made your way to one of the few tables that was not unoccupied, wanting to give it another shot. The knuckles on your hand started turning white from how hard you were gripping the tray, gripping even harder with ever step that you took. When you arrived at his table you just sat down opposite of him, not even giving him the chance to reject you from sitting there if you asked. He looked up briefly as he felt the table shift softly. His honey colored eyes glanced over to you with an annoyance in them that made it pretty clear that he didn’t want you there. You gave him an awkward smile and just as you were about to say something to him, he pushed his chair away from the table, taking his only half eaten food to get up and away from you. You thought he was going to sit down on another table, but instead put his tray away in its designed place and left through the big double doors. Needless to say, you were furious. How could he be such a girl, honestly? From the outside he looked like a tough guy but inside he was just wimp and you weren’t having any of it. You stood up so quickly your chair fell backwards and a loud shattering noise could be heard through the whole dining room. You mumbled a quick apology and ran through the doors. Determined to catch him before he was in the safe confines of his room.

“Hey dickhead!” You yelled as you saw him up ahead. His movements faltered for a second but then he just kept on walking as if he heard nothing. What a fucking jerk! “I am talking to you, you fucking asshole!” Again, you didn’t have any right talking to him like that, because a little over a week ago your hands were wrapped around his neck ready to squeeze the dear life out of him. And God did you wish right in that moment that you actually did it. What agitated you was that you tried so hard throughout that whole week to be nice to him and in return just got ignored. For fucks sake, he was training to become an assassin and granted he was pretty damn good at what he did, so him being a little bitch about the incident just didn’t fit his profile. So, you just wanted some answers. There was still no reaction. “All mighty Mitch fucking Rapp would thou arouse a little pity for the not so mighty in thou presence and grant those sad figures thou all too precious time and patience…” You said dramatically and he actually stopped dead in his tracks, turning slowly to face you and sending you a death glare that if looks could kill would set you six feet under by now, but you didn’t care. Having put up with his shit for far too long. “my fucking dickhead and asshole of a majesty?”

“What did you just say?!” was all he responded with. Not angry, even though the look on his face said something different, his voice sounded more irritated than anything else.

“That you’re a fucking asshole! Want me to draw you fucking picture?”

“That much I gathered. So, no thanks.” Wow look who could finally talk! “I meant what you said at the beginning. What did you call me?”

And now you wished that you hadn’t talked. How could you be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, STUPID. I am a fucking retard! “I don’t know what you mean.” Your voice was dripping from fake innocence.

“Oh, Malia or what the fuck your actual name is, cut the freaking horse shit and spill the beans!” Now he sounded angry. “Where do you know my fucking name from?” At this point he was nearly yelling, but tried to keep it toned down so no one would hear you two arguing and therefore arouse unwanted attention.

You gulped as he quickly closed the distance between the two of you. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of him, setting your skin on fire and he wasn’t even touching you. Suddenly you weren’t as cocky anymore as you had just been a few minutes prior. The close proximity between you seemed to have taken the wit out of your seals. Ha, Y/N good one. A stupid grin made its way on your lips while you thought of the stupid pun you had just made, but it was gone instantly as you looked into Mitch’s eyes once again. They were cold and not their usual honey brown anymore. They were darker, more threatening. “I – I“ You cleared your throat, unable to form a whole sentence. Your face probably beamed bright red and you were embarrassed. Never, NEVER in your life did you not know what to say and much less where at a lack of witty or sarcastic responses to ease a tension filled moment. What was it about him that made you turn into a high school girl, trying to talk to their crush?

“You – You … WHAT?” he whisper-screamed the last part, making you flinch.

Okay, Y/N once and for all, get your fucking shit together! Sure, he looks good, gorgeous even with his long brown locks, the honey colored eyes, his upturned nose and … ugh! Really, Y/N? Really? I am disappointed in you! Yeah, you heard me right! Disa-fucking-ppointed! Now, pull yourself together before you start drooling!

“I have my sources.” You shrugged, attempting to make a step backwards and get a little more space between the two of you, but he just simply followed your movements. Your back hitting the wall behind you as you attempted to escape his captivating and intense gaze.

“What sources?” Now his anger was only noticeable through his squinted eyes and clenched jaw. But not in his extremely sexy and raspy voice. OMG Y/N, seriously?

“Oh my God dude, you need to tone it down a bit, because you are sending all kinds of mixed signals.” Look who found their voice again. God, took you long enough!

Mitch took a step back, raising his eyebrows in a questioning manner. Urging you on to elaborate, but you just started back. Eventually he gave the unspoken staring contest up which made you the obvious winner, duh and just shook his head at you. “So back to your sources. Care to elaborate?”

“Nope, not really.” Even you would have wanted to punch you in the face right now, with the biggest shit eating grin on your face the world has ever seen, you looked up at him. You actually were surprised that he hadn’t done it yet.

Against anything that you anticipated him doing, screaming in your face or threatening you, he did the one thing, you wouldn't have expected in a hundred years... nothing at all. He threw his arms up in fake surrender and sighed heavily. "Okay, well … I apparently can't escape you and I suppose you won't stop bothering me any time soon?" You shook your head, another sigh left his mouth. "So, what do you want? You got my attention, so spill it."

Actually, that was an excellent question! What did you want? To be honest, you didn't even think that you would come this far, so what now? Obviously, you didn't think that through...

"I wanna be friends... You know? Bury the hatchet, or whatever."

He seemed to consider the offer for a few minutes, but you could tell he was just playing you. Wanting to make it seem like he would reject you and that he had the upper hand here, but eventually he nodded. The edges on his mouth curling up a little.

 "Only a few more weeks and you are officially a part of an elite unit. Something that is bigger than yourselves! You've trained hard to come this far, but do you have what it takes to survive in the field? Are you up to the task? Are you really good enough for Orion?" Stan glanced between all the trainees, until his eyes landed on you. "From today on, you are entering a new phase of your training. Now we will see how compatible and transformable you are out there. Everyone who can't live up to a certain standard is out, no slacking from this point on. A simple screw up, be it a huge one like forgetting how many rounds you fired or something as simple as pronouncing a single word incorrectly, can now cost you and possibly your comrades life! First thing for today is a simple simulation. You have a target. Eliminate it, without getting discovered or killed in the process! Sounds simple? Well, only problem is, you don't know what your target looks like. Figure it out and don't disappoint me!" Stan paused and then pointed at you. “You and Mitch first! Now, get ready everyone!”

You walked around aimlessly or so you let outsiders believe you were. Your senses were on alert and your instincts kicked in. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Mitch trying to look particularly interested in kitchen utensils. He looked up and send a wink your way, having caught you staring for a little too long. A blush rose to your cheeks and you casually strode towards him, scanning the area as you went when someone or rather something caught your eye.

“Need help?” Mitch asked you with a shit eating grin.

Ever since you two had your argument and you admitting that you just wanted peace between the two of you, you actually became friends. Of course, at the beginning it was kind of awkward because you didn’t know how to act around one another, but eventually it got easier. Now you ate together, teamed up when you had to and as the weeks passed by he noticed your habit of you getting up in the middle of the night to train until utter exhaustion. He never said anything though or asked why you did it, he just simply got out of bed when he heard your footsteps, indicating that you had just passed his room. He rarely slept the night through -nightmares of that dreadful day always hunting him- and soon picked up on someone always passing his room on nearly the exact time of the night that peeked his curiosity. Eventually he just got up one night, followed the sounds of the footsteps through the maze of corridors and finally came face to face with you letting everything out on a poor punching bag that held absolutely no responsibility for your aggression whatsoever.

You hadn’t noticed that you had an unwanted audience standing by the door and watching your every move.

“You need to set your feet a little wider apart, then you can swing your hip better. This’ll give you more momentum and the punch is going to knock your counterpart out cold.” Your head swiveled in the direction of your intruder’s voice. It was Mitch. Of course, it was. “Here” he strode towards you until he was directly behind you. He stood so close that you could feel his hot breath hitting your exposed neck and it send shivers down your spine. “Let me show you.”

Mitch squatted down and rearranged your feet, then came up again to take the same position as before. You wanted to fire a sarcastic remark his way, but your voice was stuck in your throat. His large and veiny hands set onto your hips, setting your skin aflame. As you didn’t say anything he took that as a sign to continue and then started to rotate your hips. “See? Easier, isn’t it?” Still not trusting your voice, you only nodded. “Okay, let’s see what you got!” He said enthusiastically while making his way to the other side of the punching bag. You instantly missed his close proximity and how his touch revived every cell in your body. Mitch now hold the punching bag, signaling you to start punching. The new stance making it a lot easier to deliver powerful blows, but Mitch looked unimpressed. “Oh, come on Malia. You can do better than that!” You rolled your eyes at him and put even more force behind your punches. The first one took Mitch so off guard that he nearly lost his balance which made you giggle. For some reason you felt like you could be yourself in Mitch’s presence. You felt safe around him and you had the feeling that he wouldn’t judge you for whatever reason. The reason alone that he got out of bed at three in the morning to see you furiously punch the living shit out of a punching bag and not even asking a single question as to why, showed you that you made the right call to ask him to bury the hatchet a few days ago.

Mitch couldn’t help but smile at the sound of your shy laugher. He rarely ever saw you smile during the day, so it was even more precious to him when you actually did. In that moment he swore to himself that he would try to make you laugh or at least smile as often as the opportunity presented itself. Maybe he was just selfish, because hearing you laugh made him want to laugh along with you and he hasn’t really laughed since the day on the beach two years ago.

From that day on it became a regular thing for Mitch to follow your footsteps whenever he would hear you pass his door in the middle of the night. He never questioned you and you on the other hand never questioned him. You helped each other expelling the horrible images of your pasts out of your head. And you were both eternally grateful.

 “Nope. I know who I am tailing.” You shrugged nonchalantly and a cocky grin set on your face as his shit eating one fell from his face.

“What? Are you kidding me? We are, what? Ten seconds into this and you’ve already figured it out?” He hissed in a hushed voice.

“What? Now it’s my fault that I am better than you?” Mitch feigned that he was shocked by your comment. “That this even comes as a surprise to you. That is the real shocker here.”

Mitch had easily passed Marcus and Oliver on your scale of friends and it was kinda scary how fast you grew comfortable around one another.

“So, who is it?”

“Yeah, right.” You mocked him. “As if I tell you! Keep on dreaming.” You patted him on his shoulder and walked in the direction your target just went. During your whole conversation you always had an eye on him and the conversation with Mitch helped you to blend in more and making it seem like you hadn’t found out already who your target was. Often patience was crucial in your line of work. You had to wait for the right moment to execute the mission. In your head you already played out every possible outcome and your best chances at getting your hands on your target without raising suspicion either from him himself or innocent passerby’s who could get harmed in the process.  

From behind you, you could hear Mitch following you, but you didn’t give him any mind, now the mission was what counted. You drew your pistol, but kept it concealed by your jacket. Quickly, you closed the distance between you and your target as soon as he was in a less crowded area.

“If you as much as raise one eyebrow suspiciously, I am going to shoot you right here, right now.” You hissed into his ear while pressing the silencer of your fake 9mm Beretta into his back. “We are going to walk out of here civilized, understood?” The young man, probably in his early thirties, nodded nervously and began walking slowly as you nudged him with the attached silencer. You pressed your body against his side and tangled your left arm with his right one, your gun in your right hand, still concealed by your jacket, now pressing against his side at an angle that if you had to shoot you would perfectly hit his heart.

As smoothly as everything went to this point, shit started to hit the fan like a tornado soon after, destroying everything what was accomplished until this point. All of a sudden someone kicked in the backside of your right knee, causing you to lose balance and therefore the grip of your target who was now running away from you to the exit. What in the world? Before you could leap to pursue the runaway, you were tackled to the ground, knife to your throat. People around you started screaming and trying to get away from the scene that unfolded before them as fast as possible, stumbling over one another. You looked up at the man hovering over you. He must have been in his late twenties. He was way taller than you and also pretty built. It wouldn’t be easy to get out of his hold, but not impossible. “Any last words, you piece of shit?” He laughed with the expression of a mad man. Wow, where does Stan get these people from? They are better actors than some high ass movie stars. Just as you were about to try to wiggle out of his hold, something behind the man above you caught your attention.

“Yes.” Your voice was calm, no trace of being scared was evident. “Look behind you.” You winked at him, leaving him momentarily bewildered, but as soon as he as much as lifted his head, Mitch shot him with his fake gun. One bullet to the heart, one through his throat. The man collapsed on top of you, leaving you helpless under his weight. Damn, he sure weighs more than he looks like! When Mitch finally got that you needed help, he lifted the man of off your body and helped you to your feet.

People were still screaming and shouting in the fake IKEA building. The exits were crowded, people struggling to get out which gave you hope that your target was still somewhere between the mass of people. Mitch had the same idea and was close behind you as he nudged your side, trying to get your attention. And really there, not too far away from the two of you, stood your target, trying frantically to get out.

“I got this.” Mitch nodded and let you pass past him, shoving your way past everyone that blocked your way. As soon as you were face to face with your target once again, you brought your silencer up and shot him through the heart.

In chaotic situations like this, it was easier to just kill your target right away. People didn’t care about their surroundings in moments of panic and therefore no one noticed the man going down. And even less that a gun was involved. Later, it would just be believed that he was part of the shooting that had happened here and the security cameras weren’t able to trace this incident back to you, especially because you wore a hood over your head and you were utterly careful to not look directly into the cameras.

As soon as you were done you walked back to Mitch and you both shoved your way to the exit.

>> Chapter Four

[realvoidboy-blog]

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[theunknown-ericfanfiction]

Unexpected: Part 19

The Unknown Chapter Index.

Unexpected Chapter Index

[Cate Blanchett to portray Christine Watson]

Morgan was on her way to Erudite to talk to their new head faction leader, hoping that she wasn’t a complete tyrant.

Knowing that Eric followed a lot of Erudite’s commands and wishes, Morgan hoped this new leader wasn’t as demanding as Jeannine, though it was a lot to ask for.

The only thing a nerd needed was someone stronger to protect them, and that someone could command a whole army of men and women.

Morgan scared herself with the thought of how far would Eric really go to comply with his alliance and to maintain that bridge with Erudite, granted they would help him as well, healing him and what Eric thought was more important than him, her.

Morgan jumped out of the train as she reached Erudite HQ, landing perfectly on her two feet. It was like riding a bike, at first you stutter, but muscle memory always wins.

She aproaced the building, letting the girl at the desk know that she had a meeting with their faction leader. She waited patiently on the side of the desk while the girl made some phone calls.

She observed around her, people were giving her a second look, and most of them probably were relieved that it was her instead of Eric.

Eric wouldn’t stand to wait more than a minute with someone who had asked to see him.

“Right this way” The girl at the desk moved from her chair to stand up and lead Morgan to the office.

It was at the end of a hall, several doors around the corridor were closed, and she being accostumed to the constant murmurs of Dauntless, the silence almost unnerved her.

The girl opened the door and invited her in with a little courteous smile.

Morgan nodded her head at her also smiling quickly as she entered the room, the door closed behind her leaving Morgan with a blonde woman sitting at her desk, her eyes scanning on papers.

“Please take a seat” she said, motioning at the chair in front of her, Morgan sat, angry that she was being treated like a kid who got sent to the principals office for not knowing the atomic mass of iron, which happened quite a lot in Morgan’s ride through Erudite.

She finally decided to give Morgan some attention, her eyes lifting up to hers, then doing a quick scan on her persona.

“So, you’re Eric’s latest conquer”

“And his last conquer. I’m his wife” she replied with a monotone, she didn’t like this woman already.

“It’s quite fitting for Eric to have wed an ex-erudite” she linked her hands on the table and gave her a little smirk “though you’re records are not impressive, he could’ve gotten something better, something less problematic”

“Problematic?” Morgan didn’t mean to get into her game, but she didn’t really consider herself problematic, she had fucked up a few times, but she didn’t thought it was enough to tag her as a problematic woman.

“Well, you have broken everything we believe in by bringing the founders into the city-”

“That was a command from Jeannine, I wanted none of those people in here” she interrupted, but Christine didn’t seem to care enough to listen.

“And you have giving them our divergents, the only reason of our existance in this city, the only reason we, as an Erudite faction, had for our experiments. Now we have almost nothing really transcendental to search”

“Well, I’m sorry for being born then” she said in an exaggerated sarcasm.

“Mmh. I guess those were the first words you told your parents as soon as you could develop self criticism.”

Morgan was really taken a back by that. She knew she was an unwanted child, but going to the extreme of apologizing for existing?

“What can I and Dauntless do for you Mrs. Watson?” Morgan said closing her eyes and trying really hard not to let those words get to her.

The part that hurt the worst was the one involving Eric and her unworthiness to be with him. After all she had done to Eric, he could surely use someone better.

Morgan didn’t realized she was balling her fist hard, she crossed her arms to avoid Christine seeing them.

“As you know, now we have free roam to the outside of the city, there’s a lot of erudites that would love to go on field trips, expeditions outside. I understand you’ve spent some time outside and understand that I cannot send my people out there unprotected.”

“What you’re requesting is a team of dauntless to escort them in and out”

“Yes, you’re very good at following narratives”

“Anything else?” She asked impatient that had been another low blow.

“Not for now” she returned to her paper work and dismissed her with her hand. Morgan hated that gesture, as if she was being treated like a damn maid.

She stood up and took a deep breath.

“I hope your day is as pleasant as you are Mrs. Watson”

With that, she turned around and left the office, not caring that she smashed the door to her office in her exit.

She could take some bantering, she had taken one almost every day of her life when she still lived with his parents.

She wanted to punch someone or something, drink a whole bottle of scotch and have some angry sex, otherwise she was going to turn her ass around and smach some respect into that woman.

It wasn’t long until she was back in dauntless, and she knew just the place to unwind.

With fast steps she headed to the armory, just as Creed was walking into one of the cages. He turned to look at her, frowning as she opened the cage. Morgan walked in, still angry and headed to the back of the cage, opening the door that led to the shooting range.

“What happened?” He said ad he set up a gun with a few magazines of blanks.

“I had a meeting with the new head of Erudite, who is a complete bitch and did nothing but shit on my whole life” she clicked the blanks into the gun, lifting quickly and aiming at one of the targets. Before she could start shooting Creed’s hands grabbed the gun. Morgan looked at him with murder eyes as she lowered it reluctantly.

“Safety first” he said lifting up some goggles and headphones. “Lord knows I don’t want to have to suffer Eric’s wrath for deafening his woman”

Morgan put both accessories on, giving Creed a look to ask him if she could continue.

He gave her a nod and activated the ring, several targets and dummies shot up at once, and a few seconds later Morgan had unloaded the whole clip in perfect headshots.

“I didn’t know you were this good” Creed pushed the button again to show more targets, Morgan shot them down with ease. “You were so close of beating the record though”

“Whose record?”

“The record is 95 points out of 100 in five targets, you got…” He counted quietly then said “90, that’s still very good”

“That’s not what I asked, I asked whose record?”

“Mine” he said smiling proudly, he set out another round of clips for Morgan

“Why are you not in the field then?”

Creed remained silent, Morgan knew she had hit a sensitive spot, maybe one Creed didn’t wanted to talk about.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to”

He gave her a little sad smile and left the clips in the table, taking the empty ones and leaving Morgan for a second.

She thought he would trust her, that they were on that level were he could tell her anything and vice versa. Did he not trust her enough? Or was the truth hard to say? Was it embarrassing for him? Could she ask Eric?

Instantly she kicked herself, if he didn’t want to say it fine, but she was still curious about it.

Creed returned with more blanks, sighing and smiling a bit at her.

“I’m afraid of thunder, the sound of guns is like it and it makes me nervous. It used to be a lot more heavy before, but working in the armory has helped. Still, I don’t want to go out and be a nuisance for my team. If my hands start shaking and I shoot someone I wasn’t supposed to, then I could be demoted and lose my place in this faction” he explained quickly, Morgan nodded and left the gun in the table.

“For getting 95 out of a hundred, I would say you have that fear controlled.” Creed smiled at her and took the empty gun, unloading the clip and taking back the other ones he had brought.

“90 out of a hundred is not bad for a woman either” Morgan made a fake surprise gesture and managed to land a punch in his bicep just as he dodged put of the way, chuckling and walking back to the cage.

She walked behind him, smiling content. Talking to Creed always helped, even though if it wasn’t intentional that she came to him when she needed to unwind.

“Let’s go to the bar, I heard Eric is buying rounds for everyone”

Morgan smiled and exited the armory, bumping into someone on the way out. Creed follow behind her and inhaled sharply.

He looked at the woman Morgan had bumped with, who gave him a cheeky smile.

“Morgan this is Bobby” he motioned at the brunette, she saluted her with a fastt move of her hand. He then turned to her and muttered an ‘I’ll see you tonight’

Morgan was smiling ear to ear as she took a few steps back to give them some privacy. She noticed Creed’s fingers were touching her waist lightly. They both smile and while he walked to meet Morgan, Bobby entered the cage Creed had just been in.

“Who is that?” She asked curious as they began to walk to the bar.

“She’s Bobby, short for Barbara”

“Ooh” Morgan said suggestively, she elbowed his ribs as she taunted “is she your girlfriend”

“Yeah, kind off”

Morgan stopped in her tracks as she stared at him. Creed chuckled at her reaction, still walking ahead.

“OK, you need to tell me all about this Bobby” she said as she caught up to him.

“Sure ma'am”.

[emfreddie]

Okay gonna get all political and talk about vaccines here for a second because people get way too intense about shoving their views on them down other people's throats. So let me share a personal story with you:

I had never gotten a vaccine besides a tetanus one when I was a wee bab because I nearly cut the tip of my finger off on a can. This was a personal choice of my parents that I still agree with now as an adult because my immune system is, and always has been, absolute shit. This was of no fault of the lack of vaccines. It's just how my body works and I don't want anyone in the comments trying to convince me that vaccinating me as a kid would have been safe or healthy. Here's why:

This last month I was forced by new state law and by my job to get the MMR vaccine. If I'd had proof that the vaccine would medically be a bad decision for me, I could have gotten it waived but none of my issues have an official diagnosis attached to them. So I had no choice. I went at the last possible moment I could, on the Friday before I was told I would no longer be able to work unless I had immunity to measles. I was extremely apprehensive and had no idea how the vaccine would affect me other than that it would probably be A LOT.

The shot itself hurt like a mother and it only got worse and spread from there. By the time I got home from the pharmacy there were lightning shoots of pain coming down the muscle in my arm from the site of the injection. They said there would be most likely be pain but I didn't think it would be like that. I whimpered and went to sleep.

By the next morning my head was super achy and I was feeling so terrible I could hardly even concentrate on playing dnd, something I adore. The lightning shoots of pain had spread to my hands and back, making it very difficult to do anything with my hands at all. This was not a new symptom but a returned one. I'd been dealing with the hand pain and weakness for several months earlier in the year, but I'd just gotten it under control with anti-inflammatories when this vaccine triggered it all over again.

Luckily, my headache and other symptoms besides the lightning pain cleared up by Sunday. I started taking the anti-inflammatories again and went back to work on Monday, even though my hands hurt so much I wanted to cry. My administrative team thanked me for doing it for the kids and I couldn't help but be bitter. I already do EVERYTHING I can for those kids and now I'd been back in the same spot I was three months: in pain and grinning and bearing it.

I thought that was it. I thought there was not going to be anymore side effects from it and if that were the case I might have been more open to getting other vaccines.

Then came the weekend after where I began to develop a headache. Not very bad at first, just a mild, normal, manageable headache. By Monday it'd grown a bit less manageable and was sapping all my energy. I came back from my break at work more tired than I had left for it, unusual for me since my break usually gets me energized enough to finish the day out strong. I nearly collapsed on the bus and checked my temperature when I got home. I had a fever of 99. Nothing earth shattering. I decided I'd try to sleep it off and go to work.

Next morning I still had a 99 temperature but I wasn't about to let that stop me. The headache was worse too but I popped a meloxicam that I'd hoped would help the headache as much as my hands and trooped on. I made an interesting discovery during circle that morning: the lightning pain was now shooting down my thigh muscles toward my knees as well as worsening in my back and hands. I tried my best to troop through but while I was on my break, my fever broke 100 and my headache got so bad I could feel by pulse in my eyeballs. About a 6/10 on a pain scale for me. I asked to go home early and was granted it. I told myself when I got home that night that if it passed 101 I would not go to work at all, however I still needed at least a partial day to keep resting in hopes it would stop.

I agreed to work the afternoon on Wednesday because I needed the money and I WAS genuinely feeling a little better. However about 3 hours into my shift I started to deteriorate and by the next hour I wasn't sure if I was even going to make it until 6. But again, I soldiered on, finished closing up, and caught a Lyft home because I honestly didn't think I could make it home on the bus. I was moments from passing out as it was. I got home, took some Advil instead of meloxicam, as I had been all day, and hoped the next day would be better.

My fever rose to 101 that night and I forced myself to call in. The next morning my headache was so bad all I could do was lie in my bedroom under my covers in darkness and cry. My fever was still fluctuating between 99 and 101 degrees. I finally gave up and went to urgent care when I realized the pain killers I was taking was doing absolutely NOTHING to ease either the headache or the fever. Oh. And the lightning pain?? Still present in every single part of my body. I could barely stand to move.

I don't take urgent care visits lightly, I can't really afford to. And I've never gone to one because of a headache but this headache was one of the worst ones I've ever had and I could not get it to stop using my regular methods. I was in urgent care for 7 hours total. It took them 3 just to get me into a bed, another before I saw a doctor who could give me treatment, two to administer the proper treatment (IV fluids, a drug to help the headache, and some IV magnesium for the pain), and a 4th to get rechecked properly to ensure I was good to go home. In the end, the doctor concluded the same that my doctor-dad and I had figured: the MMR vaccine was messing with me and messing with me HARD.

Friday was fine. The headache didn't return, though the fever stuck with me further, and I returned to work. Friday night I also discovered a new symptom: tenderness in my jaw and the sides of my neck and a little swelling lump right below one of my ears. A common effect of mumps, though triggered by the vaccine and not at all contagious. Yes it's been two weeks and this vaccine is STILL messing with me. Oh and my hands? Still inflammed, still aching in all the joints and stiff and harder than normal to move.

That brings us to this weekend. The lightning pain still strikes my body pretty much anywhere it pleases and the worst part is my hands. And I don't even know if this is the end of the side affects or if there will be more in a week or two. All I know is this:

I don't think I will be getting any other vaccines.

My point is not to garner sympathy or pity. I don't want apologies or "this is why everyone else should get vaccines! You're also part of the vulnerable population!" I don't WANT that. My point is that my choice over putting something in my body that could cause me harm was taken away and I suffered GREATLY for it. There was a point where I would have rather been stuck in a coma or DEAD than continue suffering the agony that I was in.

My point is this: not everyone who chooses not to vaccinate is anti-vax. There ARE risks involved that aren't just hand-waved fake "vaccines cause autism!!" nonsense. I had long since weighed the risks as an adult for myself and decided it wasn't worth it and this experience with the MMR vaccine just proves it. Everyone's choice is personal to themself. You know your body best just as I know mine. So keep the government out of my body and let me decide what's best for it.

And for God's sake quit condemning anyone who says they aren't vaccinated. No one owes you an explanation for why and they could be like me.

[sayanythingshawn]

Herein lies my note of suicide, lol jk I tried to be serious and formal with it but that just isn't me and for whoever is gonna read this, if anyone ever reads this, I want them to get a semblance of who I really am. Idk if this is me marking my suicide or what because who knows if I'll even actually go through with it. I could be bluffing honestly I mean committing suicide is not easy AT ALL. In movies and shit it's done with such ease, some tormented character sees no purpose in living anymore and uses a conventional method of offing themselves. Or someone has to be the "noble" martyr and offer their life in exchange for countless innocents, it's all very technical. But when I think about it, do I really WANT to die? I've had a few moments where I COULD have died and I am terrified thinking of it. For example, looking both ways before crossing the street. I mean if I truly wanted to kill myself I could easily just walk across the street all the time without looking and increase my chances of being hit by a car. I COULD, but I DON'T. Little shit like that makes me wonder if I truly have given up all will to live. But then again it's any humans natural response to avoid death in situations like that so who the fuck knows. I've researched different ways to kill myself, shooting myself is out of the question considering I have no real access to a handgun anyway and there's a chance that if I don't do it correctly (and knowing me I wouldn't) I'll end up brain fucked. Hanging myself seems like a hassle, I'd probably break the rope and supports anyway. Drowning myself is also a no because I hate any type of water that is shared publicly and I'd instinctively try to save myself. Blowing myself up? no. Burning myself alive? Fuck no (even thought I'm most likely going to hell anyway so I'd need some practice right?). It's all just so complicated, I've given the higher power many chances to just do away with me, I've begged and pleaded with whoever controls our deaths to grant me mine yet here I am, wonder what that means. I have hopes and dreams, contrary to popular belief. I want to be an actor/singer/music producer/director/mom/wife/so much more sappy shit. Yes I have a heart and would like to bear at least 4 kids one day. That's one of the things that keeps me going, the fact that maybe one day I could achieve all of that and leave all of my personal demons behind. But there's a part of me that deems this impossible, I should just say sayonara and end my sufferring. I bet you're wondering, "So why do you wanna kill yourself?" That, is a question I'm not sure how to answer but let me just say this, it seems like the only solution. Some background to my...uh...just read and try to understand why. My parents divorced when I was really young, I don't even remember it for the most part. I just remember living a super privileged life in a Embassy-paid house with Embassy parties, courtesy of my mom, and a whole shit load of child support coming in from my dad. My mom is a complicated topic for me. I lived with her my whole life up until I was 11 and only visited my dad on weekends. The best way I can describe our relationship, is that she was there but she wasn't THERE. If that makes sense. I was essentially raised by live-in nannies that she brought from my country. She disciplined me and stuff but I could never rely on her emotionally and I often think I was more of a chore for her if anything. I have a half-sister from her too, she probably hates me because I don't call. My mom took her when she left so there's that. My mom would always fill my head with dreams of us going to Malawi together and living happily ever after, only for her to leave with my sister and never look back. She's been gone for almost 5 years I think and there's still a really empty part of me that I'm afraid no amount of sex, drugs, or anything else can fill. She doesn't call much and our relationship is strained. The best way I can describe that empty part of me is like a really deep, dark abyss filled with the unknown. Nothing can fill it up, nothing can keep it lit for long befor fizzling out. It has left both physical and irreperable mental scars for me. I don't think my mom knows how much her absence/abandonment has had an effect on me but if this letter is any proof, it's clearly done a whole shit load of damage. Anyway, she's still my mother. Half of me basically so I naturally have some love for her. I do love you mom but you've fucked me up. My Dad is a phenomenal man. He's sick right now wih high blood pressure problems and I don't do much to help him get better. In fact I cause him a lot of stress, sadly. My Dad is the one person who has not all the way given up on me, I'm eternally grateful to him for that. I don't know what else to say about him except that I love him very dearly and I can only hope his next kid turns out a gazillion times better than I did. Dad, you're amazing. I don't know anyone as selfless as you, peace and blessings man. Now I'm sure you're wondering what else could have driven me to want to end my life. Remember how I said I have this empty part of me? That's partially because of the abandonment. I'm tired of being abandoned, it makes me feel worthless. So of course, there was a boy I cared about very deeply, maybe even loved who knows. To make an extremely long story short, I told him I was scared of being left again, he said he would not leave, and what do you know! he left. Boohoo. I was devastated but couldn't leave the toxic vat of waste that was our "relationship". The sex was cool, the memories were kinda cool, but I was feeding off of false hope and sweet nothings, and that is enough to fuck up even the kindest person. I think my favorite memory with him was when he came to my house once and I tried to teach him how to dance in my living room. He had no rhythm whatsoever but he did it anyway, happily. I'd like to believe that at one point he cared for me but I'll never truly know. If you're reading this, thanks for being my first and showing me what love ISN'T. Stop giving up so easily, be more appreciative, and for gods sake stop being an ass to everyone. Next up: My friends. I have a remarkable group of friends who have taught me so much. You are all beautiful human beings, I wish only the best for each and every one of you. Thank you for thinking of me as amazing, thank you for putting up with my dramatics and my annoyingness, and so much more. Thank you for being there when I thought I had no one in my corner. I love you all so deeply. I feel as though my death would be a relief to anyone affiliated with me. I weight off of their shoulders. Suicide is selfish but in this case I may be helping you all. I don't know. I don't know what else to write right now, and I'm actually pretty tired. I guess all I can say is, if this does end up being a suicide note, the song O Children by Nick Cave needs to be played at my funeral along with my TB playlis on spotify and the most banging plate of mac & cheese needs to be buried with me I'd actually prefer to be cremated and have my ashes spread on the mac and cheese and dumped into the ocean or somewhere equally sappy. If this is a suicide note, don't mourn me but relish the fact that I am probably happier wherever I am. If this is a suicide note, I'd like this note to be available to the general public as a lesson of sorts. What it's gonna teach, I have no fucking idea. But I do hope it teaches something. quae fiunt in tenebris, ut in palam veniat. Peace & Blessings kids.